#Elisa H | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ellieputellas · 6 months ago

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if you’d have stuck around | elisa de almeida x reader

Years have passed since you last saw Elisa. Now, you are settled in California with a budding writing career and a new girlfriend. But, fate didn’t seem to be done with you and Elisa

tags: angst, past relationship, exes that haven’t seen each other in years, slow burn (?), forbidden pining, just a lot of unresolved issues tbh

part one | part two | part three

part one.

and the funny thing is, i would have married you if you'd have stuck around — doomsday - lizzy mcalpine

For the first time in years, your heart skipped a beat.

It felt like a movie. Your heartbeat paused for a second, then it was all you could hear—a rhythmic pounding in your ear, drowning out all other noise. Everything else was blurry, and all you could focus on was her.

She was laughing, tilting her head back and exposing her perfect smile and the lines around her eyes you loved so much. She ran her hand through her hair, which wasn’t styled much differently than it was when you were younger; it was just more grown-up. She looked better than she ever did.

The lump in your throat grew, and, weirdly, you felt tears burn your eyes, threatening to fall. You blinked and quickly wiped the lone tear that dared to drip down your cheek.

It had been five years since you last saw Elisa.

You still remembered how it all fell apart. You remembered the tears and heartbreak that came with your parting. You remembered the shouting, the arguments, the pain… like it was yesterday.

You didn’t even remember how the fight began. You thought it might have started when you expressed jealousy over her teammate, or maybe it was her complaining about how you spent too much time with your extracurriculars.

Damn, it might have even been just about postponing a date. All you could remember now was that it was a petty argument that opened up a whole can of worms. It spiraled and branched out into different arguments—never spending time together, not communicating, not prioritizing the relationship at all, hiding the relationship from everyone—but it was one question that started the end of it all.

“Five years from now, where do you even see yourself, Elisa?” “W-what do you mean?” “Answer.” “What kind of question is that?” You remembered the exasperation in her voice. “Tell me.” “Fuck, I don’t know. Playing for a major league, traveling the world and competing against the best teams, maybe even playing in the Olympics,” she rambled.

“I don’t know what exactly I want, but I know for sure that I want to make a name for myself. I need to. I know everything will be okay once I do that.” “That’s it?” you asked. “H-huh?” She looked irritated. “What else matters aside from that? What do you want me to do? Give you a five-year plan? “I… is that all that matters, Elisa?” you asked. She paused and ran a hand through her hair, looking annoyed. “What else matters?” Your voice cracked, and your lip quivered. “I just…” You couldn’t hold back the tears. “You didn’t even mention me.”

Now, your tears were definitely forming into thick beads, threatening to spill out.

And that’s when you locked eyes.

You could see her face tense up instantly. Elisa blinked twice in disbelief, and her jaw stiffened. She parted her lips as if to say something, as if you could hear each other with the distance between you in this noisy and busy hotel lobby.

You looked away.

“Hey, are you okay?” Suddenly, you were brought back to reality. You looked up to see your co-worker and girlfriend, Casey. She smiled at you sweetly and pushed a stray hair from your face. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

You blinked, suddenly remembering what you were here for. You and Casey were sent to this hotel to interview some football players for the media company you worked for. The person originally assigned to this slipped and broke a wrist this morning, so you were the last-minute replacement.

Your boss (and Casey’s dad) had found out about how you went to a few football summer camps back in France as a teenager and decided that was good enough for you to cover this story.

You went, not thinking much about it; just another day’s worth of work. Besides, you were used to showing up to the job last minute with no prior briefing. But who would have thought that it would be her team?

If you had just known that the team you would be interviewing was Paris Saint-Germain, you would have slipped and attempted to break a bone too.

“I don’t feel so good, babe,” you lied. “I might be feverish.”

She tilted her head in confusion. “Huh? You look fine to me.” She pressed the back of her hand to your forehead. “You’re not warm at all either.”

Your eyes darted quickly to Elisa, who was with her team sorting their bags. She had her eyes stuck on you. You looked down at the floor again, careful not to lock eyes with her again.

“The team manager knew my dad back in the day and asked us to do a fun feature just for the team to get exposure here; capitalize on the whole women’s soccer rise here,” Casey said. She noticed you looking down at your feet. “You good?”

You looked at her with a smile. “Yes, yes, I guess I’m just dizzy.”

She smiled. “It’s just a fluff piece. You��ll be fine,” she said. “We’ll be in and out in 20 minutes. Besides, you might know some of these girls. Maybe they went to the same camps you did back in France. Fun walk down memory lane, yeah?”

If only she knew.

The next moments passed by in a flurry. Your team set up a makeshift shooting studio in one of the conference rooms. You had the props all set up and the scripts ready.

The social media producer, Gina, reminded you that only a handful of players could join as the others would be doing a different press interview with a sports magazine. You let out a deep breath.

“Okay, so, give them these whiteboards to write on. It’s just the typical ‘who’s more likely to’ content,” Gina said as she handed you the script and whiteboards. “I’ll brief them, but please translate if needed. Later, you’ll be off camera, but I’d still like you to read out each prompt loud enough just so the editor can hear it and won’t struggle in editing. All good?”

You bit your lip and nodded. “Can I know who the players are?”

“I think we requested mostly the English-speaking ones because we told their manager that we didn’t have a translator with us initially, but some of these sound hella French, so I trust you’ll manage.” The producer looked down at the chart. “Let’s see… Earps, Alberts—oh, I know her—uh… Groenen, Geyoro… yup!”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “That’s it? Just them?” You felt a tad relieved.

Gina nodded. “Yeah, I think the other players will be doing another interview,” she said as she looked through the list again. “I hope these are all the English-speaking ones because putting on translated subs would be a pain in the ass for the editor.”

You hummed in response and sighed. You didn’t know why, but aside from feeling relieved, you felt mildly disappointed. You’d told yourself several times that you never wanted to see Elisa ever again, but a part of you was just… curious.

Two strong arms wrapped around your waist, making you jump. You looked behind you to see your girlfriend, Casey. “Oh, it’s you,” you sighed.

She chuckled. “Of course, it’s me.” She smiled at you, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “Who else would it be?”

You stayed silent, unmoving.

She laughed and started playfully rocking you from side to side as she rested her head on your shoulder. “I just figured you needed a hug because you looked so tense and nervous,” she said in a low voice, so Gina and the other couple of crew members with you wouldn’t hear. “You good, babe?”

You nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I just… feel nervous talking to these footballers. They’re pretty famous, y’know.”

She hummed. “I’m glad you’re here then. I don’t know shit about soccer,” she joked. “Why don’t you make me watch a game of, uh, Paris Saint-Germain, and I’ll give you a kiss every time they score or something?”

Your nerves started to dissipate as your girlfriend flirted with you more. She always knew how to calm your nerves. You reminded yourself to relax and not be so tense. Elisa wasn’t in your panel to be interviewed; there was no reason to worry about seeing her again.

“Pack up the PDA, you two,” Gina scolded. “The soccer girls will be here soon since we gave them a heads-up. No more kissy-kissy face once they’re here, or I’m telling your father.”

Casey chuckled at the older producer and gave her a playful salute. “Yes, ma’am,” she smiled. She turned to you. “One last kiss on the cheek before we behave?”

You chuckled and planted a kiss on her jaw, leaving a lipstick mark. You giggled as you tried to rub it off, struggling to get most of it off. “Oh no, if they see this, they’ll think we’re so unprofessional.”

“No way, they’re French. They’ll get it.” Casey gave you one last wink before putting on her headset and heading to the other crew guys who were setting up the lights and camera.

You looked through the script one more time as if it was worth reviewing; it was all pretty basic. Moments later, you heard the door open, and you could tell the group arrived by the loud chattering and chuckling.

All English chattering, you thought to yourself. No French speaker, so there really was no reason for me to be here. You sighed and turned around and instantly, your heart sank. What was she doing here?

Gina welcomed the girls, and they all smiled and exchanged niceties, except for Elisa, who was looking at you with an unreadable expression. You bit your lip and hurried over to your girlfriend, who was preoccupied, talking to one of the camera guys about something.

"Casey, uh, one of the players isn’t part of the interview but she’s here," you stammered. "Is that okay? It must be a mistake."

Casey furrowed her dark eyebrows and ran a hand through her brown hair. "Uh, hmm, maybe last-minute changes? Can you go ask Gina about it, babe? I’m a bit busy."

You sighed and nodded. Before you could even take a moment to think, Gina was calling your name. You winced slightly before gathering your composure and walking over with a fake smile.

"Our actual writer for today is out sick, so she’ll be taking over," Gina mentioned after introducing you. "But she’s actually perfect for the job, as she spent a few summers in France as a teen. If anyone needs a French translation, she’s your gal."

The blonde girl, who you knew well as Mary Earps, chuckled and quipped, "Oh, I bet she speaks French better than most of us… except maybe Elisa."

Elisa gave a tight smile, looking amused, but you could tell she was as tense as you. You nodded and tried to keep smiling. "Oh, so, uh, De Almeida is taking Geyoro’s place?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. “The list your manager sent had her listed.”

Elisa looked at you with an unreadable expression. "Well, Grace figured my English is better than hers, so I should take her place," she explained nonchalantly. "Will that be a problem?"

Ignoring the slight edge in her tone, you shook your head. "No, no, just making sure." You gave her a warm smile, which she didn’t reciprocate. "Anyway, I’m so glad to have met you all."

Gina led the group to the shoot and briefed them. One of the girls, Jackie, quickly warmed up to you. "You play too?" She asked you, making polite conversation.

You nodded. "Yeah, but never professionally. I just loved it as a kid."

"That’s so cool. Where in France did you go for summer camp?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Uh, Montpellier," you replied, hesitating.

Her eyes widened. "What? That’s crazy. Elisa used to play there." She smiled widely and tugged on Elisa’s arm. "Our writer used to train at Montpellier too."

Elisa glanced at you, unamused, before turning back to Jackie. "You really should listen to the instructions, Jackie," she said, refusing to acknowledge you.

Wow, so professional.

Jackie seemed confused with how Elisa responded but didn’t bother to question it and just settled with listening to Gina. You bit your lip, pretending to look at the script again.

Later, you all moved to the other side of the conference room where the temporary set was. Casey seemed busy adjusting some things but she gave you a cheeky wink as you passed her.

Unbeknownst to you, Elisa noticed, recalling that this was the same girl who’d been brushing stray hairs from your face in the lobby earlier. She also furrowed her eyebrows together after seeing a light, smudged lipstick mark on Casey’s cheek; just one glance at you, she could tell it was the same shade as the lipstick you were wearing.

Gina had the team all set up and seated. She signaled you to hand over the whiteboards. All the girls smiled and thanked you, but when you reached Elisa, there was only silence.

You tried to steady your nerves as you made your way to the side of the camera, squatting down.

"Oh no, why’s the pretty writer on the floor?" Jackie commented with a friendly smile at you. "She should sit with us."

You smiled and shook your head. "No, no, can’t be seen by the camera," you explained. "I’m good, I promise."

The sweet Dutch girl smiled again at you. The others also gave polite smiles, except for Elisa, who was busy capping and uncapping her whiteboard marker repeatedly. So, she still fidgets a lot, huh.

The shoot began, and you read the first question. "Who is most excited to play against San Diego Wave in the upcoming friendlies match?"

The girls quickly wrote on their boards, as if they already knew. Elisa was a bit more relaxed but still seemed tense around you.

They all turned their boards, each unanimously agreein that it would be Korbin Albert.

"And it’s not just the match," Mary commented. "The whole flight, it was all, 'Omg guys, we should try Raising Cane’s,' or 'We should all go to Disneyland!' I think she’s just thrilled to be home really."

They laughed at Mary’s fake American accent, and Korbin shrugged. "What can I say? Proud American," she said. Of course, she would be.

After they erased their boards, you moved on to the next question. "Who is most likely to be late to training?"

They all paused, looking at each other as if clueless, until Jackie’s eyes lit up. She chuckled. "Okay, before I even reveal my answer, my only disclaimer is that she was only late recently, but she’s usually punctual."

The others seemed to catch on and began writing. Elisa appeared to be spacing out, still deep in thought.

"Are you guys ready?" you prompted.

Elisa snapped out of it and looked at you. "Sorry, I didn’t hear the question," she said genuinely.

All the other girls laughed. She looked at you to repeat it, but before you could, Gina asked if she needed a French translation.

Elisa gave a weak smile. "Eh, why not? Why have a French translator if she won’t speak French?" she joked.

You bit your lip and looked down at the script. "Uh, qui est le plus… uh, susceptible d’arriver en retard à… l’entraînement?" you said with your unpracticed French.

Elisa’s eyes softened, and her smile grew. You hated to admit it, but you missed seeing that smile. "Hmm, ton français est toujours aussi bon," she complimented.

You blinked, looking around to see if anyone understood, only to remember you were the only other person who spoke French too.

But just as you started to relax, Jackie gave a confused look. "Toujours?" she muttered, questioning why Elisa would say your French was still so good.

Elisa raised her eyebrows, suddenly remembering that Jackie was getting proficient in French, but ignored the comment as she wrote down her answer.

You panicked. "Okay, ready, guys?" you counted down for them to turn their boards.

They all wrote down "Elisa," except for Elisa, who had written "Jackie." Jackie feigned sadness at Elisa’s answer.

Elisa looked at everyone’s boards. "Why did you all write me?"

Korbin laughed. "Well, Jackie’s right… Elisa is usually punctual, but she was late to the airport the other day because she forgot her passport, and it made everyone panic."

The group nodded. "Yeah, our manager was losing his mind until Elisa showed up, all sweaty from running through the gates," Mary laughed, recounting the moment. "But thank god she made it, or else there’d be no French rep in this video. Isn’t that right?"

They all laughed, and Elisa gave a playful shrug. "I’m always early to training, though. The airport was a one-time thing…" she defended herself.

Before they could erase, Jackie asked, "Why did you write me, though?"

"I mean, we’re usually on time, but I just think you’re the most likely to be late," Elisa replied with a shrug. "I don’t know."

Jackie sighed. "I’m always earlier than everyone," she corrected Elisa. "Toujours earlier than everyone."

You stiffened at the "toujours" comment; she really had noticed Elisa’s slip-up earlier. Along with the fact that you had brought up to her that you lived in Montpellier, you were certain that Jackie had pieced together that you and Elisa may have had history.

Elisa seemed to notice you stiffening up to the comment since she cleared her throat to bring your attention back to the interview.

You looked at the next line. "Uh," you stammered, "Uhm, next question: Who’s most likely to go overboard with celebrations?"

You went through a few more rounds. The girls quickly warmed up, laughing and bantering. Elisa remained mostly quiet, though she did chime in occasionally. Finally, you finished with the last question, and it was time to wrap up.

"Okay, that’s all the questions." You smiled at them.

The girls stood up and thanked the crew. Each of them thanked you as they passed. Your heart started racing as Elisa approached you.

She held out her hand, which was unusual, but you didn’t want to appear impolite, so you shook it. Her grip was firm. "Bonne interview."

You gave her a tight smile. "Merci."

She gave you one last, loaded look, her brown eyes gazing deeply into yours. It had been years since you’d been this close to Elisa, holding her hand as you were now. You noticed her glancing quickly at your features—your eyes, nose, lips—as if committing them to memory in the brief moment.

She gave you a final smile before letting go of your hand. You looked straight ahead, stunned, not looking back as the girls left the conference room.

You wondered if this would be the last time you’d see Elisa de Almeida.

"Babe, you good? You’ve been so quiet," Casey asked.

Everyone was almost finished packing up. You’d spent most of the time after the interview looking through the clips, making the usual marks for the editor. But this time, it took longer because you kept getting distracted by your ex.

You hesitated to answer your girlfriend's question. Part of you felt like you should tell her about Elisa, but another part of you just wanted to forget about her all over again. Casey knew a little about you dating someone in France and breaking up due to incompatibility, but she had no idea that Elisa was your ex.

"Uh, just out of it today," you said, giving Casey a weak smile.

She patted you on the back. "It’s okay. Why don’t we go out tonight on a date? Dinner at your favorite Mexican place?"

You smiled back and nodded. She leaned in and gave you a kiss before going back to help the crew.

You sighed. The kiss reminded you that you should have moved on. You had a girlfriend who was hardworking, amazing, and gorgeous. You had a great job that you loved. Sure, it didn’t pay amazingly, but Casey made enough for you two to live comfortably and happily. You were living the life you’d always wanted.

The life you thought you would have… with Elisa.

You shook away all thoughts of her, cursing the thought of her again. Why did she have to go and ruin things? Everything was going perfectly, and then here she comes.

You shut your laptop, deciding you’d had enough of reviewing the footage. You figured you’d rather deal with annoyed editing staff than to keep marking and reviewing footage of your ex.

Suddenly, someone came bolting into the conference room. It was the Dutch girl, Jackie. "Hey, I’m so sorry," she said to the staff. "Has anyone seen an orange power bank? I think I might have left it here."

Your eyes moved to the orange power bank Casey had set aside beside you, thinking it belonged to Gina or the crew. "Oh, is it this?" you asked, holding up the power bank.

She beamed and walked over. "Yes, thank you!" She took the charger from you and exhaled in relief. "How can I repay you?"

"Oh, it’s nothing!" you replied, smiling.

"Really? Why don’t you come over to our team hangout later?" she suggested brightly. "We usually have a small get-together with a few drinks and games whenever we visit another country for friendlies. It’s pretty casual—like college all over again… but more tame."

You knew that was the last thing you needed, especially since you were sure Elisa would be there. You shook your head. "I’d love to, but my girlfriend and I are going on a date tonight. I’ve been craving Mexican food, and we haven’t had a date night in so long."

"Oh no," she pouted. "That’s too bad. If you change your mind, your producer has my number."

You gave a polite nod and bid the Dutch girl farewell as she left. You sighed. As much as Jackie was total friend material, you didn’t want to risk being anywhere near Elisa again.

"Those girls seem like good fun, don’t they?" Somehow, the topic of football and the PSG girls managed to sneak its way into your dinner date with Casey, much to your chagrin. "Especially Jackie! She seemed to like you a lot. You think she has a crush on you?"

You laughed at your girlfriend’s teasing. "Jackie? Groenen? Baby, you really don’t know anything about football because I think she might be one of the straightest women’s football players to exist." You replied. "Actually, I think most of the girls we interviewed are straight."

Casey hummed as she chewed her on her fajitas. "I’m pretty sure that Elisa girl isn’t, though. She looked gay as hell." She commented with a chuckle.

You hummed in silent agreement, just wanting to steer clear of the topic of your ex-girlfriend. "Hmm, is your food good?" You asked.

She chuckled. "Well, yeah, this is what I always get here, so it’s still good," she replied, confused as to why you were suddenly asking. "Anyway, you really didn’t know those girls? Or anyone from their team? Weren’t you in some youth league?"

You shook your head. "It was short-lived. I was pretty good at the sport, but I just… was focused on writing most of the time. After my short football stint, I got way more invested in journalism workshops and all that stuff.” You said, avoiding answering the question about knowing anyone in the team. "Besides, most the girls we met earlier aren’t French nationals."

"Oh yeah, except Elisa." Casey nodded, making you wince again. "I heard Jackie inviting you to their party. Why’d you say no? I was kind of expecting you to agree… y'know, bring back memories of your French days or something."

You shook your head. "No, no, tonight’s date night. You already asked me before she did."

Casey furrowed her eyebrows at your excuse. "You know I’d be cool with a change of plans, but yeah, she seemed eager to be friends with you."

You nodded. "Yeah, to be honest, I feel like we’d get along and be good friends. The vibes, y'know." You replied. "Anyway, let’s talk about what you’re going to do for your mom and dad’s 50th anniversary."

You successfully steered the topic away from Jackie, football, and most importantly, your ex. Soon, Casey and you were busy laughing and bantering about other things.

After Casey paid the bill, she hummed. "I kinda still don’t wanna go home yet," she remarked. "You mind getting some dessert or a drink? I just want to extend the date longer. Y'know, make it feel like our first date all over again."

You smiled at your girlfriend. She was always the sweet, romantic type. Even though Casey was very hardworking and dedicated to her career, it always seemed like you were her number one priority. Your happiness always came first to her.

You felt guilty at times with the way you spent most of your time focusing on your career but Casey was incredibly understanding and accommodating. Every opportunity you had free time, she’d snatch it up and plan something romantic for the two of you — vacations, dates, new experiences. You were lucky with Casey.

You couldn’t help but contrast it with your ex, Elisa, who always seemed to postpone all your dates just to focus on football. When you were together, your relationship never seemed to be her priority. You couldn’t blame her; she knew what she wanted and had to pour all her energy towards it. And… she got it all.

She was now the big-time defender of a major league and the French national team. She was pretty much a name all women’s football fans knew at this point. She made a name for herself.

She got everything she wanted, and so did you. It was just weird how fate worked out, forcing your paths to cross again for just a moment, as if to show you both what you had achieved now that you were apart.

"Babe?" You snapped back to reality. Casey chuckled. "You zoned out."

"Oh, sorry, I just realized I forgot to mark the clips from earlier." You excused yourself. "But yeah, drinks kinda sound good."

She smiled. "Great."

Hand-in-hand, the two of you walked to a bar near the Mexican restaurant; you had always frequented the same bar since your first date. So, naturally, it was a nostalgic place; it was exactly what you needed to remind yourself of how lucky you were with Casey. It was better to reminisce about old memories of your current girlfriend than old memories of your ex.

But as you arrived at the venue, the staff stopped you almost immediately. "Oh no, we're closed for today," the waitress at the door said. "Private event."

Casey frowned. "Oh? Can’t we just sit by the bar?" she asked. "You know us, we’re here every weekend. We’ll behave.”

The waitress gave a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, of course, I know my regulars, but this party requested no outsiders today," she said. "Hollywood, you know how it is."

You peered into the bar, expecting to see celebrities, but instead… you saw the Paris Saint-Germain girls eating, doing karaoke, and laughing with each other and a bunch of their friends. Damn.

"Wait, isn’t that Jackie?" Casey said, and as if on cue, the Dutch girl looked in your direction.

She smiled widely and rushed to the door. "You guys made it!" she said in disbelief. “I didn’t get a text from you so I thought you wouldn’t come.”

You blinked nervously. "No, no!" you exclaimed almost too quickly. "Uh, we're regulars here at this bar, and we just stopped by after our. It was a total coincidence. I’d hate to interfere. We’re going to go now."

You grabbed Casey's arm, but she remained unmoving. "Babe, weren’t you just saying that you wanted to be friends with Jackie?"

"Oh my god. I feel the exact same way! Please stay! Let’s all be friends." The Dutch insisted, dragging you inside the bar. You politely nodded but felt the gnawing feeling of instant regret. You had to get out of here.

As soon as Jackie was tad out of earshot, you turned to your girlfriend. "Casey, I'm not feeling that sociable right now. Can we just go?" you whispered.

She looked confused but nodded. "Uh? Okay, if you really don’t wanna stay." she replied. "But I kinda do have to pee. Is it okay if I go? You can have a quick drink, then after I go piss, let's just discreetly leave?"

You sighed but nodded. As soon as your girlfriend left for the restroom, Jackie brought some of the girls over to meet you, introducing you as if you’d been longtime friends.

"This is Y/N. She’s a writer. She was the one who did our interview a while ago and it was so much fun. Also, she lived in France before too," she said to the girls you were just meeting. She turned to you. "Tu as joué au football en France avant, n'est-ce pas ?" (You played football in France too, right?)

"Pas professionnellement," you replied. "Only for fun."

The girls were friendly and accommodating, but your attention was divided since you noticed that Elisa had taken note of your presence. As you were trying to be active in conversation, the sight of her just meters away kept distracting you.

Elisa was wearing an oversized black shirt and jeans. It was her usual laid-back look, but something about the effortlessness was so attractive.

She made her way to you, casually. "Hello, interviewer, what brings you here?" She tried to sound casual, but you could see there was a lot going on behind her eyes. "Tu es là pour nous interviewer à nouveau, hein?" ("Are you here to interview us again?")

You laughed lightly. "No, no, c’est une coïncidence." You smiled at the other girls, who politely excused themselves; they seemed to have lost interest in your conversation once one of the other players began loudly singing Eye of the Tiger with a very strong accent. You were now left with Elisa.

Great, you thought. This is what I least wanted to happen.

"It really is a coincidence, huh?" She gave you a weak smile, seemingly amused at the situation you both were put into by some grand cosmic prank. "So… you're staying for drinks?"

"No, my girlfriend and I are leaving after she’s done," you replied truthfully.

"Oh," she said before you two were awkwardly silent again. You picked at the hem of your blouse. She glanced at you, looking at how much you’ve changed since she last saw you. Your hair was longer. Your style was different. But to her, you were just as beautiful as the last time you two were together.

"Uh, I think I'll go to the bar and just order something, and I'll wait there." You said, trying to excuse yourself. “You can go back to the party. I don’t wanna keep you from your friends.”

She nodded. "Okay, I'll tell them to put it on our tab."

You made your way to the bar as the French girl followed you. "No, no, not necessary," you said. “I’ll take care of it.”

She chuckled. "Come on, we've got a big budget for tonight, and virtually none of these girls are drinking any alcohol, so you might as well have a drink on us." She insisted, and as you two made your way to the bartender, she nodded as if to signal you to order.

Knowing Elisa and her hardheadedness, you acquiesced. "Uh, a mojito please."

Elisa chuckled. You turned to look at her with a questioning glance. She maintained a safe distance but moved a bit closer to speak in a lower tone. She bit her lip, looking a tad nervous.

“Un mojito… toujours ton choix,” she said, her voice carrying a familiar warmth. She looked up to you and flashed you the smile you knew all too well. "Some things really don’t change.”

The words felt heavy. You took a moment to process what she had said. The bartender gave you your drink with a smile, and you returned a smile of gratitude for the drink and the fact that you knew they couldn’t understand a thing Elisa was saying.

You took a sip. "Oui, certaines choses ne changent pas," you said, affirming her statement. "But also, a lot has changed too." Your words lingered. You wanted to say so much more, but it felt like it was all you could manage in this moment.

Elisa's smile faded, replaced by a more vulnerable look. “Je vois ça,” she said quietly, studying you with a softness you remembered all too well. "C’est presque… étrange de te revoir comme ça.” (It’s almost… strange to see you like this again.)

You let out a breath, glancing down at her drink. You swirled your drink, watching the ice clink around in your glass. “On aurait peut-être dû éviter ça, non?” (Maybe we should have avoided this, huh?)

Elisa paused, then shook her head. “Je ne sais pas. Peut-être que je voulais juste savoir… si tu allais bien.” (I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted to know… if you’re doing okay.)

You felt the familiar ache in your chest, a mix of longing and regret. “Je vais bien, Elisa,” you said softly, but you could feel your voice shake. You couldn't help but feel tears form in your eyes. You blinked a couple times to prevent it. You looked away. "Mais toi… tu as changé?" (But you… have you changed?)

Elisa hesitated, her gaze lowering for a moment. “J’ai essayé,” she nodded and responded softly, barely above a whisper. "Mais certaines choses restent." (But some things stay the same.)

For a brief moment, neither of you spoke. The noise of the bar faded into the background as you both avoided each other's gaze. You felt the air around you get heavy. It was weird being alone like this to her, saying so little yet revealing so much. It kinda felt wrong being together like this. You took a swig of your drink.

She chuckled out of nowhere, making you at her. "It's funny, noh?" she said, switching back to English once the bartender left to attend to some things in the kitchen. "Seeing each other after so long?"

She practically echoing your thoughts in a more succinct way. You stayed silent, feeling impatient and wondering why your girlfriend was taking so long. Elisa must have noticed your eyes flicker to the bathroom.

"That was your girlfriend, yes?" she asked. “The tall brunette?”

You bit your lip. "Yeah, that's her."

She nodded and awkwardly played with her own glass, swirling what looked like juice around. "Been together long?"

"Almost two years," you responded curtly ith a nod.

She hummed in response, raising her eyebrows as if in slight disbelief. "She seems good for you," she commented.

You nodded. “She is,” you said softly. "I’m happy." But even as you said it, it seemed to lack conviction. You knew you were happy. You were the happiest you've been, but somehow, your voice was soft as you said it. You felt like your own voice and body language was betraying you.

Elisa exhaled and nodded slowly, her fingers fidgeting with her glass. "C’est tout ce que je voulais pour toi," she murmured before looking up at you. (That’s all I ever wanted for you.)

The two of you locked gazes. You felt a pang in your heart as she said it. She sounded so sure of herself, yet her voice couldn't help but be laced with a tinge of regret and pain. It felt like such a loaded message partnered with the way her eyes were piercing yours.

You swallowed, feeling yourself soften. “Elisa…” you began, unsure of what exactly you wanted to say, only that you didn't want this moment to end on an unfinished note.

But before she could continue, Casey called your name, waving you over. You noticed that your girlfriend had already left the restroom and was being roped into karaoke.

You smiled weakly at the sight of your clueless girlfriend and gave her a wave as you watched her be coaxed into singing by the French girls.

You gave Elisa a small, regretful smile. “I should go before they make Casey sing. God knows that's the last thing anyone wants to hear," you said, attempting to joke. "But… it was good to see you.”

Elisa's expression shifted into something more guarded, but she nodded. "Yes… you too." Her voice trembled, just for a moment.

You took a last swig of your drink, leaving it at the counter, before rescuing your girlfriend from the mic. You gave a short but polite farewell to Jackie and everyone else.

As you were leaving, Elisa stayed at the counter, sitting down and taking a sip of her own drink. You bit your lip and focused on making your way out of the bar.

You thought you closed your chapter with Elisa years ago when you broke up and left France. And earlier, you thought you closed that chapter again after one last chance meeting. Now, you wanted to make sure it was done and sealed. You were closing the book and never looking back again.

But you couldn't help it.

Just as you were about to exit, you took one last glance to capture a sight of your ex-girlfriend with her head in her hands, looking more devastated than when you broke up with her.

a/n: this was a pretty long first chapter. this is my first time writing angst so i hope i’m doing alright. i also included a bit of french which might be all wrong and weird tbh since i only had one semester’s worth of french and google translate by my side. correct me if it’s wrong. just sharing a bit of writing lore but i actually got this idea after watching copious amounts of football content on youtube and some edits on woso tiktok to the doomsday verse… which inspired this fic and the title!!!!

anyway, reply if you want to be tagged once i post part 2! (also happy balon d’or day!!!! so excited cause i just know it’s between cgh and aitana!)

#Spotify #elisa de almeida #elisa de almeida x reader #elisa de almeida fanfic #elisa de almeida fic #woso fic #woso fanfics #woso community #woso imagine #woso

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sngj08 · 2 months ago

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[Not so Quiet Boy] Sunghoon x fem!reader

summary: your friend tries to set you up with an old acquaintance of yours in hopes to get him a girlfriend by the end of his senior year

genre: crush to friends, friends to lovers, crush to lovers, high school romance, after school and outside of school hangouts, mixed signals, friends playing cupid, friends not saying everything, obvious flirting but protagonist doesn't see,

warning: profanity, mentions slight h@r@ssment

author's note: all of this is from true experience and none of them were altered besides names.

prev / masterlist / next

Chapter 6: Smells Like Strawberries

“Oh ok ok.” Without thinking of anything else, you followed Jennie until she nudged you while raising her brow, making you chuckle. “What?” Jennie's face went into a ‘What do you mean what’ face. “You and Sunghoon?” She hinted out but you didn’t understand. “Yeah what about me and Sunghoon?”

She looked at you in disbelief. “He was holding your hand and he looked at you with that face! He lent you his chair?! And you can’t ignore how he asked if you were ok after the Increadicoaster when you weren’t speaking? Elisa also told me about how he didn’t complain about your screaming when you guys went to the Incredicoaster again?!” She said as if stating the obvious. “Yeah no. He’s just being friendly.” You chuckled back at her statements, not really thinking about it.

“Yn, are you going to order anything?” Elisa said as you guys arrived at the ordering window. “Oh yeah me and Yn will just share. The bowl might be big.” Winter explains to Elisa as you nod in agreement. As they gave the tray of bowls to Winter and Elisa, Winter exclaims. “Yn, I think you should buy one more bowl for you.” She says, probably changing her mind because she thinks of finishing the bowl. You didn’t want to eat but to still fill your stomach so you just bought a drink and went back to the table. “Why didn’t you buy yourself a bowl? Are you really not eating anything?” Winter said in concern as you nodded with a smile. “It’s fine. I’m not that hungry anymore.” You told them but Winter shook her head. “Didn’t you say you were hungry earlier?” Winter said, making you mentally smack your head but then you see Sunghoon stand up which made everyone look at him. “I’m buying a bread bowl.” He plainly said before holding your arm and pulling you with him.

“Sunghoon, I’m fine. I don’t need the food.” You said to him while you guys were walking to the store. “Yeah I know. I’m buying myself a bread bowl.” He said, still holding your arm. “Yeah but why do I need to join you in buying the bread bowl again?” You said trying not to think you were being self centered or thinking he would buy you food. “You seemed to be the only one not busy.” He shrugged as you guys started lining up. “Wait. This place sells pretzels shaped like Mickey Mouse?!” You realized as you looked at the menu, jumping up and down in excitement to see them make it behind the counter until you realized he was still holding your arm. You turned your head to look at him, to see him looking at you.

“Next!” The lady at the counter said as he let go of your arm, you guys went up to the counter while you looked at the people making the pretzels. “1 pretzel please.” He said to the cashier, which made you look at him in disbelief but you see him taking the pretzel with a smile then he looks at you. “Let’s go?” He offered as you both left the store. “How about the bread bowl?” You looked at him concerned but he shrugged as he led you to the side of the exit that had a small roof for the both of you not to get soaked in the rain.

He didn’t reply to you and was about to bite the pretzel but you stopped him. “Wait, can I take a picture of the pretzel?” You said while holding his hands to prevent him from biting it. As he gave you the pretzel while chuckling, you took the pretzel and took pictures with it. As you were going to give it back to him, he shook his head and refused to get the pretzel from you. “I’m done taking pictures. I’m sorry I took it.” You said to him while trying to shove the cookie in his hand. “Just eat it Yn.” He chuckled at you but you still tried shoving the pretzel at him. “Stop Yn. You’ll drop the pretzel.” He said jokingly which did make you stop in imagining if the pretzel did fall, it would be devastating for Mickey shaped pretzel. “Open up!” He said as you saw a piece of the pretzel in his hand, trying to feed you himself the pretzel because you won’t eat it.

After a few moments of hesitation, you open your mouth and eat the pretzel. “Yeah, eat some yourself.” You said as you take a piece of the pretzel and wait for him to give you his hand. And after a few munchings, you guys went back to the table empty handed. “You guys were so long. Was the line long? Where’s the bread bowl?” Winter asked as Elisa and Jennie looked at you with a cheeky gaze you wanted to wipe off their faces. “Yeah the line was too long so we ended up leaving because you guys might be done eating.” Sunghoon explained to the others. “So where next?” Sunghoon said, trying to change the subject. “I know there is this one toy story ride by the pier that’s fun.” Winter said, making you all nod and went on the ride.

While on the ride, you were beside Elisa and Jennie as Winter wanted to be beside another friend that tagged along and Sunghoon. “So where are you guys making out?” Elisa asked jokingly while you pushed her. “They might hear Elisa!” You whisper shouted to her, reminding her that they were sitting behind them. “And no we didn’t.” You replied to her when Jennie and Elisa nudged you playfully. “I don’t have a crush on him guys.” You said which Jennie replied. “Wait, you don’t like him anymore?” And you realized what she said, you looked at Elisa. “Wait, you told Jennie I had a crush on him?!” You said to Elisa mouthing a sorry while shrugging her shoulders. “No to be honest I thought you and Sunghoon were a thing.” You said, talking about Jennie and Sunghoon which made Jennie make a disgusted face. “I already have a man.” She said, making you and Elisa surprised. “You’re taken?!” Elisa said in shock. “Yeah, this is my boyfriend’s jacket.” Saying proof to you two.

As the ride was done, you needed to return glasses but you were lowkey dizzy after the ride while still trying to tip-toe due to the floor being wet, and didn't want your pants dirty. You remove your glasses but then slip when you try to drop it onto the tin, Sunghoon holds you again before you hit the floor. “Do you need help going down the stairs?” He said as you laughed in response, holding the railing while going down the stairs.

As you go downstairs, you see the gift shop and you see a Lotso plush. With excitement, you run to it and start hugging it. “Guys, look!” You said with excitement to your friends, Jennie and Elisa all went and hugged a plush from the shelf. “They’re weighted!” Jennie said out of curiosity, you smelled Lotso and he did smell like strawberries. “He smells like strawberries!” You said to your friends while still hugging the plushie, you look at the price… 50 bucks?!! You slowly place the plush back in order to not get emotionally attached to the plush because it was way overpriced for a weighted plushy. You guys were about to leave the store when you saw Sunghoon holding the plush and was about to walk to the counter but you stopped him by calling him. “Sunghoon, Where are you going?” You said making him turn around to you guys, placing the plushie down on the shelf to leave with you guys.

The next ride you guys decided to go was the Spiderman ride. It was somewhat a long line so you guys went on the single rider lane to fasten the pace. So no surprise, you got separated with your friends but the ride malfunctioned and shut down. You were stuck in the middle spiderman ride and emergency lights were on. Bumped out, you were not able to see the World of Colors but you got distracted by an old guy slowly touching you weirdly and started recording you. Slowly you were escorted out the vehicle and reunited with your friends in front of the line but from the corner of your eye, you could see the guy recording you.

You tell your friends what happened but didn’t tell them he was still recording you. “What the hell? That’s disgusting. Are you ok?” Elisa said to you then Sunghoon held you by your waist and pulled you behind so that you could be blocked by the guy.

“Thanks.” You said that only Sunghoon could hear. “Are you ok? Did he do anything else to you? Do you want me to be beside you during the ride” He asked you while facing you with a hint of worry in his eyes, holding both of your hands, to which you replied. “I’m ok. He didn’t do anything else and yeah can we sit beside each other.” You looked at him but then shyly looked away. He held your hand until you guys got on the ride.

As you guys leave the building of the ride, you guys walk to the Avengers sign. “Do you guys wanna take a picture?” He asked the group but he just looked at you but you shrugged it off as everyone nodded in agreement. “Can I have a solo?” Jennie said, making everyone chuckle at her maintained energy throughout the day. We took a photo of Jennie first by herself and we took one more group selfie until a cast member went up to us to take our photo with the professional camera he was holding. “I can take a picture on your phone too if you want.” The cast member said as Sunghoon gave his phone to the cast member and took another photo. He gave the phone back and Sunghoon and you sent the photos to the group chat. Both from the professional camera and his phone.

“Woah Yn, you look so pretty in the professional camera ones!” Winter and Elisa pointed out to you as you zoomed in on yourself. “Yeah it looks like you came out of a kdrama.” Jennie said in agreement. “Yeah and the fact it was a professional camera, it has high quality so you’re just pretty like that omg!” Winter hyped you up as you gave a slight smile. “You guys also look great in the pictures.” You said in response, hoping that they would appreciate it as much as they hyped you up.

taglist: (open) @enhacolor @beigerin @tasnemluvs @parkjjongswifey

#kpop #kpop boys #kpopidol #kpop imagines #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen sunghoon #park sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon

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castingspellsanddaisies · 5 months ago

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M A S T E R L I S T

⚽ Aurelien Tchouameni

🎶 Ateez (Kpop group)

🎾 Arthur Fils

🎶 Arctic Monkeys

🎤 Ariana Grande

🎾 Ben Shelton

🎤 Beyoncé

🎶 BTS (Kpop group)

Cristiano Ronaldo

🎞 Drew Starkey

🐲 Dragons

⚽ El Clasico

🎶 Enhypen (Kpop group)

💀 Elisa Lam

⚽ Football

⚽ Jude Bellingham

⚽ Jules Kounde

⚽ Jobe Bellingham

🎞Jonathan Bailey

🤳 Kylie Jenner

⚽ Kylian Mbappé

🎤 Kpop

🎙 Lady Gaga

🎞 Lily Rose Depp

🏎 Lewis Hamilton

⚽ Lamine Yamal

🎤 Liam Payne

🚶‍♀️ Maya Henry

🎞Matt Bomer

🎶 NewJeans

🚩 Politics

⚽ Son Heung-min

🎶 Skz (Kpop group)

🎶 Twice (Kpop group)

🎞 Timothée Chalamet

⚽ Trent Alexander-Arnold

🕐 Time Travel

🆘 US Election

⚽ Virgil Van Dijk

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LIST OF UPCOMING TAROT READINGS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#masterlist #tarot reading

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occhietti · 6 months ago

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Il tempo è gratis ma è senza prezzo.

Non puoi possederlo ma puoi usarlo.

Non puoi conservarlo ma puoi spenderlo.

Una volta che l’hai perso

non puoi più averlo indietro.

- H. MacKay

Elisa Anfuso art

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kirain · 1 year ago

Note

what do you think of this post about Gale? I saw it today and idk how to feel about it. h t t p s : // www. tumblr. com / galahadwilder / 741497332636467200

I couldn't disagree with it more, to be honest.

First of all, and I can't stress this enough, Mystra doesn't care about her followers. She cares about the state of the Weave and nothing more. If her followers don't worship her, if they're not useful to her, if they don't serve her purpose, they mean nothing to her. After she abandoned Gale, she had no interest in him until she realised she could use him to stop the Absolute—and she only wanted to stop the Absolute because it threatened the Weave. In general, Mystra doesn't care what people use magic for either, be it the most admirable heroics or the most depraved insanity you can imagine.

Case and point: Lorroakan. He is an arrogant wizard, far worse than Gale could ever hope to be, who uses magic for pure evil. When he beat Rolan, he undoubtedly used magic to do it. Do you think Mystra cared? Nope. You can help that nutjob achieve his goals, kill a demigod, turn him immortal, and give him free reign to abuse magic any way he wishes, but do you think Mystra cares? Nope. She doesn't. She doesn't care about people unless they benefit her. In fact, all three iterations of Mystra have a vast history of grooming, flat out 🍇, and the forced impregnation of unsuspecting mortal women. Despite being neutral good, Mystra is and has always been extremely vain, selfish, jealous, and problematic.

With that in mind, I'd like to break this post down piece by piece. Also, please be aware that when I use the word "you", I don't mean you specifically, anon. I'm more so addressing anyone who might be reading.

PS: Please no one harass this person's post. Their opinion is their own, and it's very respectful. At the end of the day, we're just talking about a video game.

Mystra didn't tell Gale not to juggle the torches. She didn't even tell him it was a torch. She let him go on believing it was a part of her missing Weave. Had she told him the truth, he would've stayed away. That's why he's so shocked in Act 3, when she finally reveals it's the Karsite Weave. He had no idea, and she likely never intended to tell him. She didn't before he went off in search of it, and she didn't the entire time he was locked away in his tower, scared and suffering. I can't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't warn him, but I can only assume it's because she expected absolute obedience, or because she was getting bored of him and wanted him to mess up.

Whatever her reasons, she didn't tell Gale to leave the orb alone because he was "worthy" already. He clearly wasn't in her eyes, because he wanted her to see him as an equal. He wanted her to share her knowledge with him, which is perfectly fair in a healthy relationship. If you're dating a god and they treat you like a worshipper—that's all you are to them. A worshipper. A plaything. You're beneath them. You're unworthy. She told Gale to leave the orb alone because she wanted him to be complacent. She wanted to keep him in servitude. That's what she wants from all of her followers, though it's even worse when it's her lover.

In almost every story where a mortal loves a god, the mortal is either ascended into the heavens or the god gives up their divinity. And this isn't even specific to gods, but also vampires, werewolves, elves, and so on. Arwen, for example, gives up her immortality to be with Aragorn. Bella becomes a vampire to be with Edward. Hercules gives up his divinity to be with Meg. Elisa Esposito becomes aquatic to be with the creature. These are common tropes because it makes the couples equal.

Mystra contradicts herself by saying Gale was "always worthy", because her actions don't reflect it. He was a worthy distraction from her job, sure, but not worthy enough for her to treat him like an equal. So in order to prove it to her, to prove his love and devotion, he went after the one thing he knew she wanted—her missing Weave. Yes, she told him not to, and I agree he should've respected that, but this is on par with a woman telling her husband not to buy a bracelet she really, really wants because it's too expensive. If your husband worked extra hours and saved up enough to buy you that bracelet, would you divorce him?

Gale was completely unaware of the danger. He basically thought he was getting Mystra a bracelet. Had she taken the time to explain it to him, the whole catastrophe could have been avoided. He was just a hopeless romantic who wanted to surprise his girlfriend and prove he belonged at her side. The same girlfriend who very well could have made him her equal and shared her knowledge, but chose not to. Why? Because she's selfish. She didn't want an equal, she wanted a servant. We know this because, if you romance and ascend Gale, he will ascend you alongside him and give you your own domain! Mystra had the power to do this, or at least the ability to slowly ease him into it, but she refused. No matter how much he pleaded and proved his devotion to her, she refused.

Mystra did not save Gale when the orb embedded itself in his chest. He survived only because it fed on his gifts. He says as much, and so does she when you go to see her at the Temple. That's why, when we first meet him, he admits he used to be better at magic. He was once exceedingly powerful, but the orb basically knocked him down to level one. Mystra was perfectly happy to let him scramble to find items to absorb, knowing that he would inevitably run out and erupt. When we give him his third item in Act 1, the orb is becoming quenchless, and he knows his time is nigh. Mystra has nothing to do with satiating the orb until Act 2 and 3, and only because he becomes her wild card.

Gale: Mystra will consider forgiveness?

Elminster: She will consider ... what she considers to be forgiveness.

Even Elminster, her most faithful Chosen, knows her "forgiveness" isn't really forgiveness. It's an ultimatum. Do this for me and be welcomed into my hall, or die and literally go to hell. Why would Mystra make this offer? Well, because why else would Gale agree to kill himself only to end up in the Wall of the Faithless? How would that motivate him? Mystra didn't make this offer out of the kindness of her heart, she made it because she was desperate. Had the opportunity never presented itself, she would've let him die and suffer for all eternity, and possibly take hundreds of innocent people with him in the blast. She. Doesn't. Care. 🤷‍♀️

Now, one could argue Gale was asking for too much, but I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. First of all, Mystra showed him things no mortal has ever seen. It's only fair he'd want to share her world and learn as much as possible. Imagine if the Doctor from Doctor Who picked up some random people and took them on breathtaking adventures, but the audience got mad at them for wanting to see as much as they could. Amy, Clara, Rose, etc.—none of them could live a normal life after meeting him, and they wanted to learn as much about the universe as possible. But everyone loves those characters. They don't get mad. There's even several episodes where the companions call the Doctor out for not treating them as equals, and he admits he's wrong for doing that and adjusts his way of thinking.

I would argue that the only real divide between Mystra and Shar/Vlaakith is that Mystra doesn't inflict physical pain ... most of the time. That's it. Vlaakith and Shar only care about themselves and the effectiveness of their followers, but the exact same applies to Mystra. She is the Weave, and she only cares about the Weave; therefore, she only cares about herself. She had ample opportunity to help Gale or tell him the truth, but she didn't until it was convenient for her. The gods of D&D are basically the Greek Pantheon gods—a bunch of assholes toying with mortals, regardless of their alignment. The odd one is decent, but most are only out for themselves and their rule. Now, I will concur that Mystra is hardly the worst deity (in fact, she's unfortunately one of the better ones), but she's still not great and Gale is her victim.

To get a little controversial, I think the writers made a mistake. I know what they were going for, but I think they lost it along the way. At first, I was ready to stand with everyone and admit he belonged in the quintessential "overreaching wizard full of hubris" category, but upon researching the lore, getting to know Gale better, and doing several different playthroughs, I've come to vehemently disagree. First of all, before 5E (the current D&D edition), becoming a god was the ultimate goal for a lot of players, and that was perfectly acceptable, with many DMs providing celestial paths to make it possible. Moreover, many of the current gods were once human themselves, including Mystra!

Second, it's only hubris if you fail. Gale can ascend. He can succeed. Although it's not the canon outcome I would choose for him, he is right about the crown. He does his research and figures out how to reforge it. And he doesn't seek godhood to be worshipped, he seeks it to either free himself (and all mortals) from Mystra's chains, or for her to acknowledge and love him as an equal. His arrogance stems from insecurity; an insecurity Mystra herself planted and cultivated, and in the end he's not really arrogant atfter all. Does him wanting to be Mystra's equal make him selfish? Well, I suppose that depends on how you answer these questions:

Is your partner equal to you? If you don't think so, why are you leading them on? Why wouldn't you take steps to help them become your equal? Why are you holding them back instead of propping them up? If they show interest in your life, in your world, in the things you can do, why would you keep it to yourself, especially when you have the time and resources to share it?

Just some ambrosia for thought. 😉

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 tav #mystra #all my homies hate mystra

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sweetspidergirl · 10 months ago

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A Tangled Web (Spider HRT Story)

Chapter 1

“This is stupid. Why am I doing this?”

This question echoed in my head as I sat in the sterile waiting room of the doctor's office, accompanied by the sound of the clock ticking away in the background. Besides me and the receptionist behind the counter, there was no one else in the room. That made sense. With it being a few days before Christmas, who would willingly want to spend any amount of that time in such a depressing location?

A twenty-five year old woman dissatisfied with her life and seeking a new one, apparently.

As I sat there waiting for permission to see the doctor, my mind drifted back to how I got here. It was half a year ago where I first vented frustration over my life to my best friend Elisa, and she mentioned how I might be going through species dysphoria. She then sent me some articles and links and suggested I look into humanity removal therapy, or HRT.

I had been vaguely aware of humanity removal therapy, often referred to as therian HRT, for a few months by that point. It functioned mostly like hormone replacement therapy, only it would gradually change the patient into a human/animal hybrid, or therian. It was a recent development, only having been available to the public for a little over five years, and still had quite a bit of controversy associated with it from various political groups. Despite that, based on the testimonials I read and the various pictures I saw, the people who have gone through therian HRT seemed to be happier now than they ever had as humans. Maybe it would be worth it if I gave the whole thing a shot. Maybe being in another body might help me be happy again.

I glanced down at the blank screen of my phone, looking over myself in annoyance. I noted the long, messy brown hair that I barely made look presentable. I noted the pale skin caused by a lack of social interaction and preferring the light of a screen over the sun. I noted the oval-shaped glasses and casual hoodie and sweatpants that hid as much of me as possible. I was another drop of water in the ocean that was humanity. Even my blue eyes, once bright and full of hope, had started to appear dim and non-descript as of late.

“Taylor Thompson?”

I snapped out of my thoughts as the doctor called my name. Turning my head in his direction, I got a good look at the man who would be deciding my future. He was an older gentleman, probably in his 50s or 60s, with a grey receding hairline and mustache. His thick, round glasses made it hard for me to see his eyes. Grabbing my belongings, I quietly followed the doctor as he guided me to his office. The office was what I expected to see: a small, plain white room with a desk, degrees on the wall, and bookshelves full of books that I would be too dumb to properly understand. On the desk was a small nameplate that read “Dr. T. H. Erian, Species Dysphoria Specialist” in large, clean letters. I set my bag beside me and took my seat, my heart beating like a drum in my chest. I swallowed the lump of anxiety that was forming in my throat. There was no turning back now.

“So, Miss Thompson, what brings you here today?” Dr. Erian asked in a stern voice. One sentence in and I was already having flashbacks to my high school principal. The main difference here, however, was that my answers actually mattered for more than avoiding detention.

“I, um, was hoping to be prescribed therian HRT. Specifically spider HRT.” I answered, trying to remain calm and collected.

“I see… and why a spider, if I may ask?” The doctor questioned as he began writing something on a piece of paper in front of him.

“Well, I think spiders are a lot like me. Most people are scared of them, but in reality they’re mostly just nervous, adorable little beans.” I explained with a bit of blush on my face.

“Any preferred species of spiders?”

“I was hoping to be a tarantula. They're cute and fluffy, and I think I'd look just as good as one.”

“May I ask why you wish to undergo humanity removal therapy?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I've been unhappy with myself lately. My diet's been awful, I rarely go outside and interact, and in general I just hate everything about myself. My best friend, Elisa Andrews, thinks I might be going through species dysphoria. She works with therians and otherkin daily, so I assume she's right.” I explained to Dr. Erian. I then handed him a folder that contained the paperwork Elisa told me I'd need before being prescribed therian HRT: a medical examination, two psychological evaluations, written support from her and my father. I even spiced the folder up with doodles of webs and cartoon spiders in hopes that it would help my case.

Dr. Erian looked through the paperwork I gave him. I was unable to get a good idea of what he was thinking. His flat, emotionless voice was hard to read, and thanks to those glasses I couldn't tell whether he was impressed by work or annoyed at me wasting his time. I was hoping it was the former.

“Miss Thompson, before we continue, I'd like to ask an important question.” Dr. Erian spoke as he set the folder down in front of him on the desk. “How much do you know about therians?”

“How much do I know?” I asked curiously. “I mean, my best friend’s a physical therapist that works with therians, and I'm kinda aware of some of the legislature that's been passed recently-”

“That's not what I am referring to.” Dr. Erian interrupted. “I want to know if you understand what therians go through, what the process of going through humanity removal therapy is like and how you'll have to adapt. You are aware that I recommend patients spend some time living as their desired species before I prescribe them HRT, correct?”

“I-I mean… if it helps I have a few spider plushies.” I said sheepishly. I could already feel my luck running out.

Dr. Erian sighed and gently rubbed at his forehead before speaking again. “Miss Thompson, this is a serious life-changing procedure. Once you start therian HRT, your DNA will be rewritten to match your chosen species. You'll never be human again, even if you stop early into your therapy. I cannot prescribe it to just anyone who steps foot into my office.”

I sunk into my seat slightly, bringing my knees just under my chin as I almost curled up to feel safe and protected. “B-but… I was told you can help people with this kind of stuff.”

“I can, and I do. However, not everyone needs HRT. What you may think is species dysphoria could very well just be depression, and what you may need is something far simpler than a complete genetic rewrite.” The doctor explained.

I sat there in silence, barely listening to the doctor's words. He was saying so much when it all boiled down to one word: “no.” No, I couldn't get humanity removal treatment. No, I couldn't have happiness. No, I was doomed to hate myself for the rest of my miserable life. Tears started to creep their way out of my eyes, stinging slightly as they worked their way down my cheeks.

Just as I was about ready to give up and head home, I glanced up and noticed Dr. Erian looking through my papers once more. I was expecting him to scold me again. I hid my face against my knees and closed my eyes, bracing myself for his harsh words to wound my heart further.

“...are you sure becoming a tarantula will make you happy?”

I slowly brought my eyes up to look at Dr. Erian, not fully emerging from my self-made cocoon as I processed his question. What was making him change his mind? Did he believe that I'm suffering from species dysphoria after all, or was he simply taking pity on me? Regardless of the answer, I couldn't let this opportunity slip by my fingers.

“Y-yes… yes it will, doctor.” I responded, almost forcing myself to do so. A tense silence hung in the air for what felt like hours as Dr. Erian stared at me, almost examining me. I gripped the sides of my legs, waiting anxiously for either him to continue lecturing me or for me to have the courage to speak again.

“Well, if that is your answer, then I will approve you for tarantula HRT.” Dr. Erian said, writing on the piece of paper some more. “Considering it's the holiday season, it's likely your pharmacy won't receive your first dosage until after the new year, though.”

My heart almost skipped a beat at the news. I was… actually going to be a tarantula?! “Wait, really? You're… approving me for the HRT?” I asked, nearly jumping out of my seat. “Oh thank you Doc! Thank you very, very much!”

Dr. Erian sighed, writing some more information down on the paper. “As I explained, transitioning to a different species won't be easy. There will be some side effects to expect as your body changes.” He explained, making sure I had calmed down a bit before he continued. “Not all therians will experience the same side effects. Not all side effects will be present at once. Some will show up at different stages of your transition. At the earliest stages of spider HRT, I would primarily expect to see itchy skin as your hair grows in, as well as weight gain to provide material for your additional body parts to develop. Beyond that, you may experience headaches, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and possible body pain.”

After making sure I understood the side effects I might encounter during my transition, Dr. Erian started digging through a drawer in his desk, and from there pulled out two items. The first was a pamphlet that had “Welcome to your Humanity Removal Therapy” written on the cover, alongside “Species: Spider” and a minimalist illustration of him. “This pamphlet will help guide you through your transition, Miss Thompson. It provides details on a recommended meal plan, the type of environment you should live in, a rough timeline of what changes you should expect and when you should expect them, a full list of potential side effects, and more.” The doctor explained. “I would make sure to give this a thorough read if I were you. I'll also be sending you a digital copy after our meeting. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me and I will provide an answer at the earliest convenience.”

I took the pamphlet in my hands, almost crushing it in excitement. “Of course Doc. I'll definitely give it a read once I get home.”

Just as I was about to get up and leave, Dr. Erian cleared his throat. “There is one other thing I must discuss with you before we conclude here, Miss Thompson.” He said, causing me to sit back down in my seat. “I still disapprove of you not doing any research on therian culture prior to our meeting. So… I'd like for you to interact with other therians while you're taking HRT. It's not mandatory, but I do feel it will not only help you learn about your new lifestyle but also potentially help with your mood.”

As Dr. Erian said that, he handed another item. I took it in my hands and looked it over. Instead of another pamphlet, it was a flyer detailing a therian support group that was close to where I lived. It detailed that it was bi-weekly, and that it was open to those on HRT, regardless of stage, as well as those questioning.

“I'll keep that all in mind. Thank you so much for all of this, Doc.” I said, stuffing the papers in my bag. After discussing insurance and other important information to get my prescription set in stone, I left the office and gave a heavy exhale as soon as I was outside. That was probably the most stressful talk I've ever had, but it was done and over with. While I stood outside and caught my breath, my phone started buzzing. Pulling it out, I saw that I was getting a call from Elisa.

“So, how'd it go?” Elisa asked, sounding exceedingly curious. Looking at the time on my phone, I hadn't realized she had just finished with work by the time I finished my meeting.

“Well, I managed to get the prescription, so that's good. You didn't tell me he was gonna be so scary though.” I answered back with a tiny bit of irritation in my voice.

“Hey I never met the guy personally. Besides, you still got the HRT in the end, so it all worked out.” Elisa answered back. “So how long before you start spinning webs and crawling up walls?”

“Well, my first dosage won't arrive until after the new year. Beyond that, well…” I trailed off a bit, glancing back at my bag and the papers inside of it. “I have some homework to do.”

---

Welcome everyone! This is the start of a (hopefully) long-term project I intend to work on. This is the story of Taylor Thompson, a 25-year-old woman seeking a change in life through humanity removal therapy. In the process of transitioning from human to spider, she'll learn more about the world of therians, as well as learn more about herself and what she wants out of life.

I want to thank @ayviedoesthings, @welldrawnfish, @entroart, @bubbleverseart, @nyxisart, @prettiestplatypus, @deadeyedfae, @kaylasartwork, and anyone else I may have forgotten (there's a lot of people I'm so sorry ><) for creating the world of therian HRT and creating such a community, as well as my fiancé for showing them to me and for inspiring me to give my own version a try. I can't say when the second chapter will be done, so just keep your eyes open, and I hope you all will join me on this long, wild ride.

Thank you so much in advance.

#furry hrt #therian #otherkin #spider hrt #furry #transformation #fantasy hrt

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