#Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

[p1xiemeat]

[the-snazzy-jazzy-dragon]

Ranking the Daedric Princes by Babysitting Potential! (Least to Best) Part 1:

Part 2

17. Molag Bal

. . . Do I even need to explain this one? This would be like hiring the sweaty hooded guy you saw walking the streets at night to the liquor store with his pants sagging to his knees.

tl:dr A walking red flag that's legally not allowed within 150 feet of a child

16. Namira

Expect to come home to your child made into a five-star filet mignon dish complete with garlic butter, a rosemary garnish, and a side of house salad. She'll probably infest your house with cockroaches too.

tl:dr snack time takes on a whole different meaning. And ew bugs

15. Vaermina

Your child won't face a terrible fate, but they'll still be permanently scarred from just one visit from her. They will be crying by the time you get back and refuse to go to bed that night. Or refuse to sleep for the rest of their life in general.

tl:dr nap time sucks even more than it already did

14. Mehrunes Dagon

Not the absolute worst, but definitely not good either. Believes in corporal punishment and he'd take it a tad bit too far. He'd rope your child into utterly trashing the house. They will also be very bratty towards you when you get back.

tl:dr bad influence and your child is definitely getting coal for Christmas that year

13. Mephala

She's one of those babysitters that somehow keeps getting hired even though she's bitter and clearly doesn't like children. She finds it funny when kids cry after she convinces them that you don't really love them. Unless you want your child to have long-lasting anxiety over whether you truly care about them, don't hire her.

tl:dr reason why at least 3 children she's babysat before have trust-issues now

12. Boethiah

Not as bad an influence as Dagon, but they'd probably let a 6 year old child handle knives and the stove without any supervision because they're "old enough to do things on their own". Also overly strict and would yell at your child for being too loud.

tl:dr a bit mean and believes survival of the fittest applies to children

11. Peryite

Pretty chill and not bad, but I still wouldn't risk the chance of your kid getting sick around him. You're at risk too since he doesn't wash his hands and he has touched every doorknob in your house. Also has no sense of hygiene so expect your child to be covered in dirt when you return.

tl:dr antivaxx kids are screwed

10. Hircine

Good at setting up rules, but doesn't have much experience with children. Thinks children should be able to find their own food around the house for lunch. When you get home, he'll tell you that he left your kid behind at the nearby park they visited earlier because they can "find their own way back".

tl:dr thinks children should be free range

9. Malacath

Strict but you could say it's just "tough love". Doesn't hate children, but even so, he's pretty cold towards them. He'd rather watch TV the entire time and only interact with your child to feed them or tell them to do their homework. He would probably use corporal punishment too but not get carried away with it.

tl:dr your typical deadbeat orc dad

8. Meridia

She's one of those bossy babysitters that treats children like they're her personal servant. She'll probably demand your child to get her a drink or to turn on the TV for her even though the remote is in reach or to touch the beacon. At the very least, you can rely on her to just watch over your kid while you're away. Nothing more, nothing less.

tl:dr bossy yet will get the job done

[fantasiacafecat]

A conversation I just heard from Lucifer and Nebarra

Lucifer: Hmmm... Nebarra, Nebs, Nebhead.. or Nebby Webby

Nebarra: What, did you just call me?

Lucifer: I've called you a bunch of names, but I'm just deciding which one is the best one, and which one annoys you the most.

Nebarra: Don't you think it's preemptive and foolish to announce your plans like that.

Lucifer: Nah, not foolish at all. It's annoying you, which works for me.

Nebarra: Ugh, fine then. Do as you must.

Nebarra *turns around to catch up to the dragonborn before muttering, just loud enough for Lucifer to here*: Luci Wuci

Dragonborn *just trying to mourn Skjor in peace after finding him dead*: *Sigh*

Xelzaz just wanting to catch a break from the Companions BS: By the Hist.

Khirra and Gore *struggling on wtf is really going on in this group*:

[theelderscrollsarchive]

[trashiesttrashboy]

I might have figured out what the Eye of Magnus is. A lot of this is just speculation so honestly it's more of a theory but I think it makes a lot of sense

First we're going to have to speculate where the eye actually came from, which we can make a few guesses based on the night of tears. The Snow Elves sacked Saarthal and massacred the residents, even those who could not defend themselves for seemingly no reason (according to the Ancient Nords. But honestly if the attitude of modern Nords is anything to go off of then this attack was likely completely warranted). The Night of Tears caused a war between the Ancient Nords and the Snow Elves. The Snow Elves were fighting back against the Dragon Cultists, since they were basically enslaving everyone and forcing them into servitude to the dragon priests and the dragons. The Ancient Nords were already fairly powerful, being good with magic as well as being able to wield the Thu'um. Words of power from the dragon language, that were incredibly powerful. You get to use the Thu'um in-game. So the Snow Elves were already worried about the Dragon Cultists and their ways of life, and definitely didn't like the idea of them being extremely powerful. Then they hear about the Eye of Magnus in Saarthal. It's never actually explained what the Eye of Magnus is, just that it's powerful, so the Snow Elves likely decided that it was in the wrong hands.

There is the possibility that the Eye of Magnus was stolen from the Snow Elves, which is why they were so violent during the Night of Tears, however there is the explanation that the Night of Tears was the result of many different things that the Ancient Nords had done to make the Snow Elves uncomfortable with their presence. Whatever happened, the Snow Elves failed to retrieve the Eye of Magnus. There is also the possibility that the Eye of Magnus was brought from Atmora, and I think this is more likely since this does provide a basis for an explanation of what the Eye of Magnus is.

The Ancient Nords used lots of magic in a religious context, and some other magic in their day-to-day lives. This implies that magic was commonly used by the Atmorans too, at least religiously. An example being the Dragon Priests, as they were all incredibly powerful magic users, and the necromancy involved in creating draugar to maintain and protect burial grounds, as well as the weaker spells used by the draugar.

Now on to the geography of Atmora, which we will need in order to figure out what the eye of Magnus could possibly be. It can be inferred that Atmora is an ice cap, since it is north of Tamriel, and the geography of Tamriel implies that it is all or mostly within the northern hemisphere (it is possible that the southernmost parts of Tamriel are located in the southern hemisphere, but only just below the equator at most). This would imply that Atmora, being to the north of Tamriel and already a freezing cold continent even before it froze over, is an ice cap. That would mean that you don't see the sun for months at a time, and that the sun does not set for months. Basically half of the continent is shrouded in darkness at any given time, and will remain like that for months until Nirn has rotated enough for that part of the continent to be in the sun again. You get what I'm saying? Now that would also mean that huge chunks of Atmora get absolutely nothing from Aetherius. No light, and no magicka. Which makes the cultural and religious use of magicka strange, and even impossible for half a year at a time. So what the fuck is up with that?

It is also important to take into account how the Eye of Magnus actually looks. The divinescript all over the Eye of Magnus implies that it was created by an Et'Ada. Also note the blue glow that it emits (as well as the blue ball of light that we see when the Eye is open, more than likely the source of the blue glow).

So as I mentioned, the Atmorans shouldn't have been able to use magic for half a year at a time, which would render magic useless. Especially in a religious context where you would expect it to be used all year round. I think that the eye of Magnus is a portal to Aetherius, just like the sun and the stars, but an extremely small one. I don't think the Atmorans found a way to do something like that that. Due to the divine script found on the eye of Magnus, instead I believe that one of the Et'Ada created it. Either Magnus himself, or someone else. This would mean that the Eye of Magnus is effectively a power source, a source of Magicka, most likely used by the Atmorans during the months of complete darkness. It was either found by the Atmorans, or given to them as a gift, allowing them to have access to magicka all year round, just like the rest of Mundus' inhabitants. I think the idea that it was given to the Atmorans is much more likely, since the casing seems quite intentional. An item like that would definitely have immense cultural and religious significance, so it's no wonder that they brought it to Skyrim with them, and that the city it was kept in was the capital city. The Snow Elves could very likely sense the energy and power radiating from the Eye, considering that Elves are very in-tune with magicka, and were scared that the Ancient Nordic Dragon Cultists had access to such a powerful item, and ransacked Saarthal in the Night of Tears out of fear of what they could do with something like that.

The casing itself is likely to protect anyone from the immense amounts of light and magicka filtering through from Aetherius. If even just looking at an elder scroll is enough to render you blind, then imagine what being exposed to Aetherius could do to you when you're stood right next to it.

In conclusion, the Eye of Magnus is a tiny star that was used by the Atmorans as an energy source for their magic.

[cringiestcroissant]

Hell yea

[plutachrogers]

Shoutout to Sanguine for being the only dremora I remotely like.

[wearytaco]

OG art credited Art Holic added my own personal two cents though.

[graaid]

My old Dragonborn, from before I had to reset my game. My new one still has the same name and backstory though lol.

[imperatoralicia]

I get a lot of entertainment thinking about how containers are used in video games sometimes.

[obscene-beans]

IM WEEPING AGAHAHAHAHAGAHA

[p1xiemeat]

[the-snazzy-jazzy-dragon]

Clavicus Vile: NO. Absolutely not. I do not watch those detesable, sappy dog movies. Just who do you think I am? Ha! As a matter of fact, I'd be happy to be rid of that mutt any time of day!

~~~

Meanwhile Clavicus Vile after watching Marley and Me for the nth time: I'll never lose you, you mangy thing 🥺 *pulls Barbas in for tight hug and sobs*

[molags-balls]

[skeeverboy]

hi i’m a skyrim bandit my favorite hobby is keeping 12 gold in novice locked chests that i do not own a key for

[worst-of-facebook]

so, you're finally awake, onii-chan