#Effective Content Marketing Tools

[onlinemarketingcash4ublogspotcom]

How To Win On Social Media In 2025 Gary Vee Q&A Session- Clip 3

In the ever-evolving landscape of digital marketing, staying ahead of the curve is crucial for brands aiming to expand their reach and engage new audiences. Our latest podcast episode delves into a fascinating insight: images are currently outperforming videos in attracting new users. This revelation is not just a statistic; it's a game-changer for brands seeking to refine their marketing strategies.

The discussion begins with an exploration of how images, as opposed to videos, are capturing a higher propensity of new users. This trend is particularly significant for companies looking to penetrate new consumer segments.

[2happyherder]

[mehmetyildizmelbourne-blog]

Substack Mastery Book: Chapter 9

How Do the Mighty BOOST Options Work on Substack, and How Can I Supplement It With Community Power? Dear beta readers, Thank you for your valuable feedback on the previous seven chapters, which is helping me refine this book and enhance it as a valuable resource for fellow writers. I have covered seven critical aspects that have helped many readers jumpstart their Substack journey. Receiving…

[transcriptioncity]

Global business communication services and Multilingual Transcription Services

Global business communication services and Multilingual Transcription Services Effective communication across languages is essential for global businesses. Multilingual transcription services convert spoken language into written text in various languages. This article explores the benefits of multilingual transcription, tips for selecting the right service, and how to implement these services in…

[nittyagi]

Step-by-Step Content Marketing Guide for Business Success

Content marketing is vital for businesses to connect with their audience and drive profitable action. This guide covers essential strategies, from setting clear goals and identifying the target audience, to content creation, distribution, and measuring

Content marketing has become an indispensable tool for businesses aiming to attract and engage their target audience. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll walk you through step-by-step content marketing strategies that can elevate your brand’s online presence. Whether you’re a seasoned marketer or just starting, this guide will provide valuable insights and practical steps to create an effective…

[isubhamdas]

Measuring Social Media Marketing Success

Unlock the secrets to measuring social media success. This guide reveals key metrics, expert tips, and real-world examples to track ROI and boost your brand’s online visibility. Continue reading for an in-depth exploration. Social Media Marketing SuccessWhy Measuring Social Media Success Matters?Key Social Media Marketing Metrics to TrackEngagement MetricsReach and Visibility MetricsConversion…

[pennzance]

Havelock Vetinari is literature's most dangerous tyrant.

Astute, learned, and wickedly clever, there are no ends the man will not go to in achieving his goals. There is no one he will not manipulate, no one too important to remove by a variety of means, and no one so powerful as to threaten his position.

And this applies, most importantly of all, to himself. Who watches the Watch, after all?

But Vetinari is literature's most dangerous tyrant because he is at once, yes, a tyrant, but ALSO literature's most dedicated civil servant.

He cares for the city. And ONLY for the city. It is from this position of being the man who truly only cares for Ahnk Morpork that he derives his authority. After all, who cares as much as he does?

Vimes? Perhaps, but he's a married man and a father with private concerns that should take his attention as well (even if Vetinari has to constantly remind him of that fact). He has other things to worry about, but good job that man for sticking to his lane: a sledgehammer sized scalpel for repelling threats and keeping the peace.

Carrot? Certainly, but Carrot cares more for the PEOPLE than the CITY. His mind is on the present, keeping the ones who are alive upright and breathing and getting justice for those tragically cut short. He is not concerned with the welfare of the CITY, as such. Not with the future the next generation shall inherit.

The guilds? Self-interested fools who were happy to take what Havelock gave them: stability and a piece of the pie no sane person would eat. They are content to squabble over portions of nebulous power, and all of them recognize that if Vetinari were gone... well, it doesn't much bear thinking about, really.

The nobles? Self-interested fools who are UNhappy with what Vetinari has given them: a slow walk to total obscurity and an eternal life in the back catalogues of Twerp's Peerage. Besides, they tend to only be effective when they can convince others to foolishly do their bidding, and the market for such men has seen a suspicious dearth in supply as late.

The wizards? Certainly not. Tried that before, thank you, and everyone seems much happier when gravity remains consistent and no one randomly becomes newts. Let them remain in their university, fat, happy, and most definitely NOT doing any bloody magic.

Lipwig? Maybe. In time. If he is convinced that it is in his own self-interest and things remain... interesting. But he also has Spike and the Bank and the Post Office, and a man can only juggle so much before suddenly there's a chainsaw in the front row and an awful lot of screaming. Best to keep him in practice of course, but... no. Not yet.

Vetinari uses all of them. They are tools in his box as he tunes and fixes and cares for the Disc's greatest city. The Turtle moves, but so does the Patrician, and it is a close contest on who shifts greater mountains. It is easy to imagine more than a few of the gods on Cori Celeste are keeping an eye on him and wondering what he's up to.

Except for the smart ones. They are doubtlessly taking notes.

[powerfulaitools]

The Importance of Keyword Research for On-page Optimization

🔍🎯 Don't underestimate the power of keyword research for on-page optimization! It's the foundation of your SEO strategy and can make all the difference in attracting high-quality traffic to your site. 🚀 #SEO #KeywordResearch #OnPageOptimization

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com If you’re running a website, then you’re probably already aware of the importance of SEO. You want your site to show up at the top of search engine results pages (SERPs), so that potential visitors can find and click on your site ahead of your competition. But did you know that one of the most crucial steps in optimizing your content for search engines is…

[prettyinpwn]

I know I'm gonna sound like a crazy old broken record... but hear me out. Lots of speculation as to the true purpose of the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com thing beneath the cut.

So... does anyone else feel like the ARG website is... odd? Like it's leading to something more coming? And before anyone screams, "Well, ackshully, Hirsch said he doesn't want to do a Season 3-"

YES. I KNOW. He said no Season 3 a million times. I was there when he told us Season 2 was it for the first time. But what he didn't say, however, was, "No more Gravity Falls anything... EVER.". Hence why we've gotten Journal 3, Lost Legends, and now The Book of Bill. Hirsch is veeerrrrry comfortable making more GF stuff.

And as someone that studied programming in college, I can tell you, this website does not seem like it was easy or cheap to make. It's effectively a single screen point and click game in a browser. Looking at the code, it seems they did use a framework called Bridgetown, lacing in looped animated MP4 files with clickable assets on top that make up the interactive elements (e.g the computer), with a lot of content made for the website itself from image files and text for each prompt a user might type. Sure, it's not the most difficult thing to program, but it's a lot more complex than, say, the searchfortheblindeye site back in the day.

That, and as someone who has worked in the corporate world, I'm sorry, but you don't pour this much effort/money into something that is just "lol cool things after product for funsies". If this was just for The Book of Bill, the smart marketing decision would have been to make the lofi album and the website, tease fans with both of them, and let them lead to an announcement of the book itself to tempt them into buying it, not the other way around. Like... Disney ain't gonna do that just out of love for fans. It's Disney, come on. They do things for money.

It's possible that Hirsch paid for it himself just for the fans, but I doubt it. Wanna know why? Because of the website's security certificate and ownership. Let's take a gander at this:

There are two odd things here. One, the range of the expiration. Most security certs last 1-2 years, at least they did at one of my previous places of employment (and we had like 50+ of them). This one expires November 7th, 2024. Odd, but maybe they only want the website up for a few months? Anyways, as an aside, everyone keep an eye out for November 7th, 2024. Could be nothing, could be something.

The other weird thing is the domain holder. Looking it up on ICANN, it gives this address:

Look that up on Google Maps, and it takes you to a company called Dun and Bradstreet. Long story short, the company does a bazillion things, but the main thing we're talking about here is:

Oh gee, Sales and Marketing. And their Sales and Marketing tools? Basically, they use data to tell companies who their audience is, so that they can market to them. Now, why would Disney care about this for a fandom for a show that's been done for almost a decade, just for a book that was released before said website (so we know they're not gathering marketing data for the book)?

Well, if I were to guess... long story short, all this stuff is a tactic to gauge who the Gravity Falls audience is now. Release the book, make some dough and fans happy, tie in a secret marketing data collection gimmick (AKA the website) using D&B as a vendor to hook the data into your CRM, send fans to a website to collect marketing data, and shabam. Now you know who the target market is all this time after.

And why in the hell would a company care about that? You tell me. Why care about who a target market is if you're not planning on marketing something to them later?

It could be that Disney is planning something similar to Gravity Falls and wants to gauge if there'd still be a market for that kind of show. Or... it could mean that Disney is planning on something more substantial related to Gravity Falls or Hirsch pitched it, and they were like, "Well, wait, let's collect data on this, first, so we'd know if it'd be a good business decision.". Not sure.

I mean, maybe I'm crazy, but doesn't this seem fishy to anyone else? If anyone else has any hypotheses as to why Hirsch and Disney have a Gravity Falls website owned by D&B, let me know, but to me... this smells... very... marketing oriented. And Hirsch doesn't seem like the guy to pour his own money into hiring an outside company to gather marketing data, that seems more up Disney's alley.

[artdotpage]

Problems facing modern artists & creators

I've talked with hundreds of artists and creators about the difficulties they face trying to earn a living from their craft.

This post covers two of the big ones (social media algorithms & bargain basement marketplaces), and what tools are available to grow your business despite these issues.

Social Media Algorithms and Audience Ownership

Social media platforms are a godsend for getting your work in front of potential clients and building a loyal fan base.

However as you will all have experienced, it can take a mastermind to figure out what kind of content the algorithm wants you to post, and if you don't do that you'd be as well throwing your content into the void as even your own followers might not see your post, never mind new viewers.

It also means you don't truly own your audience, if you post something slightly controversial your account could be deleted without warning, or perhaps a billionaire buys the site and everyone flocks to a new platform where you have to start growing your following all over again.

Solution: Build a mailing list

This is perhaps the single best marketing tool available to any business, and is sorely overlooked by artists and creators.

It's cost effective and because you own your mailing list it doesn't matter what's happening on social sites, you can always keep in touch with them.

The tricky part is converting people into mailing list subscribers. However I've seen plenty of creators successfully build one by offering incentives including free digital downloads, early access to content, discounts on your store etc.

Those who sign up to your mailing list would be considered high quality followers, someone who is much more likely to convert to a paid client and buy from you again in the future compared to the average follower on social media.

Tools

https://art.page/

https://substack.com/

https://convertkit.com/

Losing clients to undercutting competitors on the same platform/marketplace

If you run your business on a marketplace or platform, your clients are one click away from finding plenty of other choices who are willing to undercut everyone else to land a sale.

These sites have no incentive to make sure that traffic you drive to your profile actually purchase from you. Whether a sale is made through your listing or another seller, they collect their fee either way.

They also use uniform designs which reduce you to a generic product listing. Whilst this can simplify the customer experience, it means you have no control over the sales funnel and ability to differentiate yourself, making it harder to convert potential clients into paying customers.

Solution: Direct clients to your own site

Use your own personal website to make sales from, there are plenty of options with no monthly charge and lower fees than marketplaces. This lets you make dedicated marketing pages showcasing your best work to make a client excited about doing business with you, instead of just being a generic product listing.

Take advantage of marketplaces purely for their customer base. Don't rely on them as your sole business platform. This way, any fees you pay are worthwhile to generate sales you wouldn't have had otherwise. 

Tools

https://art.page/

https://www.bigcartel.com/

https://squareup.com/

Interested in more?

There's plenty more I have to share on this topic, including:

How to properly use Print on Demand without getting ripped off

Streamline managing your business so you spend more time creating and growing your business.

How to better utilize your brand to connect with clients and increase sales

So let me know if you’re interested and I’ll get writing!

Transparency

I'm building https://art.page to solve these exact issues, with the goal to create the best all in one site builder for artists and creators that makes running your business easy.

[centrally-unplanned]

Since I am blogging about it, I will outline my Tiktok "ban" stance - it is "fine", I have no objections and mildly support it, though I am not nearly as concerned about the tool as its proponents are and I approach it differently.

Fundamentally, "you can never impinge on freedoms in international relations" is a silly stance, because it leaves you vulnerable to exploitation by other parties. You do in fact have to "build" markets, rights, etc, none of them exist in the state of nature or whatever. China currently bans the large majority of western social media apps from the country as part of an explicit strategy for industrial policy for its own tech space and as information control on its citizenry. It is completely fair to go "samesies" in response, in the same way free trade agreements are signed by both parties. Now the US government didn't put a "until China lets Facebook in" clause in the bill or anything, but that is because everyone knows China isn't budging on this topic, I can't fault them for not bothering.

China also definitely does do the things it is accused of re: Tiktok. They aren't as heavy-handed as they are with their domestic platforms of course, but they algorithmically censor anti-China content, promote messages they care about, and share user data with central authorities. Now, I care about this less than others. Algorithms are perpetually overstated in their power, as users have agency, opinions, and also know what algorithms are and notice the rigging. The vast majority of people self-select their information consumption more than algs shape it. Tiktok is not a very effective tool in the CCP's kit. But it still is a tool, and again a stance of "the US government can never interfere with our speech institutions but foreign governments can go to town" is not practical stance, that isn't free speech at all. I find these crimes to be minor, but given that the punishment is "sell Tiktok to a US company at a fair price", that seems fine to me. The fact that ByteDance isn't doing that speaks volumes.

(I really don't care about the data stuff, as a bonus note. Data privacy is the perpetual "dog that didn't bark", and we in fact have large social costs from how religiously we try to protect it to avoid exaggerated harms. But it isn't of no concern, I am sure there are valid points in there.)

Still, I don't think people should downplay that it is legitimately awful for the community in practice. There are lots of wildly exaggerated numbers going around (no, 170 million Americans are not "active users" lol unless you stretch that word to the moon), but still, there are going to be millions of people who will have something load-bearing in their lives affected by a legal fight. The world is full of tradeoffs, I have no reason to think they should be happy about this. They have every right to lament it.

I do think this is another classic example of the US "legalism" policy dynamic - the idea of sitting down and just building the parallel infrastructure for US-hosted Tiktok once Bytedance refused to sell, and cutting them out of the loop entirely, was completely beyond us to consider, when that is the win-win solution to the dilemma. But w/e, in this case I recognize that is pretty idealistic, can't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

[sgiandubh]

Tools of the trade

Came home an hour ago from a reception I literally fled (busy week in this respect, unfortunately). And I kept being internally nagged during the short taxi ride, by what is probably at least this season's Anon. Landed in @bat-cat-reader's inbox with regard to Marple's most recent innuendo:

I had to know more about this, since I had no idea such deep diving tools were now available for pretty much everyone. Here's the gist of how it works, in pics and a quick review:

What Snoopreport promises its subscribers is to basically keep them posted on the targeted accounts' online behavior patterns...

... without the need to publicly follow them on Insta (sounds familiar?)...

...leaving no trace (zero accountability, because it uses only public data: this can be interpreted differently, in a different legal system/context, since several European countries, as I already discussed, have more protective legal provisions for a person's right to his/her own image)...

... at minimal costs (I suppose the most cost-effective, if we assume this is one of the used monitoring tools, would be the small business pack, allowing the super sleuth to track 10 different accounts, for peanuts):

A review of this product I have checked here (https://www.techuntold.com/snoopreport-review/) points out the obvious Achilles' heel of this app. Snoopreport obviously does not work for private accounts:

Which brings up a logical question: could the (in)famous 'resource' be S's private Insta account, in which case it would be very difficult for the sleuth to admit stalking it? Is it even technically possible to stalk a private Instagram account and remain unseen?

The answer to the latter is yes: other actors of this apparently very lucrative market, such as Glassagram (https://glassagram.com/), do not have Snoopreport's scruples and monitor even private accounts.

I think this is pretty self-explanatory and to be honest, it gave me the chills:

Serious reviews (https://www.techuntold.com/glassagram-review-spy-instagram/) are raving about this one, calling it the best app on the market, mainly because you can save all the snooped content on your own device:

... and the price, for stalking (their own choice of vocabulary, not mine, for once) an unlimited number of accounts is reasonable:

Best of it? They've been around since 2017.

In a nutshell: is it legal? it would seem so, in the US, not so sure about the UK/EU. Is it moral? It's up to you to decide what to think of a firm which has no problem admitting to encouraging stalking (but hey, don't listen to the nutcase here, huh?) and uses completely different real-life situations (infidelity, kids' monitoring) to assert its legitimacy and utility.

What I mean by this very long and illustrative post is this: you do not need inside sources/information to have one day the idea of crossing what is obviously (at least in my book) a red line. You just have to be able (lots of free time), willing (asserting power over a very thirsty and not so digitally skilled audience) and voilà: a Super Sleuth is born.

It is one thing to analyze and speculate, based on open sources, to your heart's content. It is a different affair altogether to obsessively monitor someone, with so much detail and personal (& financial) investment, over a substantial period of time. I will die on this hill and you will never change my mind on this one.

Is the emperor naked? I wouldn't venture speculating. What I do know, is that this emperor is a very, very sad one.

[nexstage]

Stars and Pyramids AU

The plushie

“And those were some of the effects of the instability of the USA economy during the Vietnam War. Now, as homework, I want a 10000-word essay about some of the most controversial methods used to improve the economy during that time. It’ll be for next Friday so take your time but don’t leave it at the last hour, ok? Good luck, kids!”

Right after the teacher bid them farewell, Mabel stored her stuff back into her bag pack and got up. The report for anyone, including her, resembled a giant looming on a defenseless village, but she had enough experience to face such huge tasks, especially because adapting to high school life without Dipper taught her to find ways to keep her grades decent no matter the subject. Although, if someone asked her, math and science were overrated at this point.

A piece of paper fell to the ground during her walk through the hallways. A bit of its contents warned her about the importance of the paper; her hand shot to to pick it up until another one grabbed it by the corner.

“Yeeesh, Mabes. You need to be more careful. Littering can be a big problem, you know?” A male voice teased her. The girl blushed a bit, thanking the boy sheepishly.

“Hey, Josh,” She brightened after recognizing him. “Excited for the new report?”

“Ennui and that are kind of the same thing. I bet that long, tedious essays will be the synonym for boredom one of these days.”

“Haha, yeah.” She smiled, scratching her head. Summer romance and romance in general had become a truck of good and bad memories, hidden in a corner of her mind. Meeting Josh in one of her classes, on the other hand, wasn’t that bad. She could admit she liked him but falling in love went to another level Mabel wasn’t interested in anymore.

She pondered endlessly if maturing and growing up had pushed away her desire for a romantic relationship. That fateful summer in Gravity Falls played in her head lots of times showing her Mermando, Gabe, the gnomes disguised, Gideon, helping Robbie get over Wendy, Dipper’s impossible crush on Wendy. The circumstances that built the romance around those memories were far beyond anything she had expected in a summer far away from home. From time traveler agents and devices to a hippy version of Cupid, you could say things were too messy for a real romance.

So yeah, in the past, romance was all over the place for Mabel. Now, bigger issues have replaced it. For example, keeping secret the fact that such a piece of paper possessed the design for Bill’s plushie.

“Hey, any reason why you were drawing a cartoonish version of the Eye of Providence? Are you into the Illuminati conspiracy theory or something?” Well, not that secret anymore, but Josh’s ideas were less than accurate.

“…Just a design for an experiment. I want to start my own business. A yarn plushie business!” She drew an arc above her to accentuate her words. “I think Instagram would be great to get everyone’s attention. Lots of followers and maybe one or two influencers!”

“Awesome! That gives me a cool idea! I have a cousin who has been working for an online business. She’s great at digital marketing and digital design. Maybe she can give you some tips.”

“That would be great,” Mabel tried to keep her smile as bright as she used to be despite the guilt from the lies. “But maybe later, Josh. There is a huge report to do and I want to get an A+. Anyway, have a good weekend!”

“You too,” he waved, grinning.

Mabel was relieved her hurry didn’t instigate any suspicion which worsened the guilt. She’d better begin with both things quickly or the weight of the lies would leave her unable to sleep.

============

One thing Mabel wished right now, as she was engraving ancient runes in stones she had picked on the way home, was to have those tools artists used to carve in wood and rocks. Maybe indelible markers would’ve been better than knives but if she wanted this spell to be cast smoothly, she had to take necessary measures.

“Ouch!” A few droplets of blood dampened the carpet. Thank goodness it was dark red. She hurried up to the bathroom, washed her hands thoroughly, and put a bandaid on the wound. “Just two more stones and then I’ll make the Spell Core.”

She snorted at that name. It was one of her ideas after Bill showed her the runes. While it sounded fancy and mysterious in a fantasy-like way, the premise was simple: connect all the rune-engraved stones with yarn. It would be a rustic collar but she would put it inside the plushie to serve as a battery once Bill possessed it.

Honestly, it was kind of weird and convoluted. Why not just make a deal with her to possess one of her dolls or plushies? However, she’d rather knit a body for Bill to inhabit than let him near her beloved stuffed toys. She’d have to ask him later.

4 hours of hand-crafting later and the collar and the plushie were done. A wave of pride washed over her at her creations; a conflict surfaced in her heart knowing who would benefit from this but as long as she pushed on the deal to be communicated with Bill, maybe he wouldn’t do something catastrophic. Anyway, it was time to fill the plushie with fluff and the collar, and then once she contacted Bill, the rest would be easy.

“Now… My homework,” her hands were kind of exhausted from the knitting and making the Spell Core; alas, that A+ wasn’t going to be obtained with complaining so maybe a few more hours of research and draft writing before a little break.

============

“You know, if you want our deal to be more interesting and beneficial to your love life, I could give you some advice on how to charm a guy. Or maybe make him fall to his knees for you~” Bill’s smuggy voice caught her by surprise. Since when they had made contact? Wasn’t she writing?!

Her eyes landed on the triangle who raised his hands, offended. “Hey, I love good mischief here and there, but my relocation is imperative so pissing you off is not the best idea. Besides, your desk and chair looked kind of comfy, didn’t they? No wonder we’re in the Mindscape right now.”

“Ugh! I can’t believe I fell asleep!”

“Look at the bright side, we can talk now. I’ve been getting a bit impatient, Star. You don’t wanna know how fast the Void is advancing.”

Mabel grimaced. “How long do we have until everything is a void?”

“A few months if we’re fast but I wouldn’t push my luck.”

“Then let’s put you inside the plushie already. I have some questions about it but that’ll be for later.” Bill suspected what kind of questions she would ask; he said nothing.

“Ok, step 1, draw a circle with my face and place the doll inside. Step 2, the incantation: leehw gnireets s’lliB,knil erihppas,llehs lairetaM.”

“Whaaaaaat? Is this another language?”

“No, I made the message backward. The original is ‘Material link, sapphire link, Bill’s steering wheel’.”

“How do you expect me to say an incantation backward?”

Shit. That’s right. This would be her first time using backward spells. “Ok, let’s make teaching you how to talk backward step 1. We’ll give it a few hours before you go to sleep and then we’ll begin the ritual.”

“Couldn’t it be on Saturday? What if Dad finds out about this? I don’t know how I will explain whatever I’m doing.”

“No no, Shooting Star, it has to be now. Trust me, this won’t cause a ruckus. Mistakes aren’t allowed in my relocation.”

She sighed. Oh well…

=============

3 am. Mabel had to congratulate herself for the feat of staying awake at such an ungodly hour despite the huge madness she was going to commit. And let’s not include who was her partner in this!

Bill’d better not scream in ecstasy because if he did, she’d burn the plushie with him in it. Wait, would that kill him? Never mind.

“Ritual circle? Check. Plushie and Spell Core? Check. Backward incantation? Kind of check? Ugh! Don’t screw this up, Mabel. Just focus.” She sat cross-legged in front of the circle, inhaled and exhaled deeply, and began. “Leehw gnireets s’lliB,knil erihppas,llehs lairetam. Leehw gnireets s’lliB,knil erihppas,llehs lairetam. Leehw gnireets s’lliB,knil erihppas,llehs lairetam. leehw gnireets s’lliB,knil erihppas,llehs lairetam. Leehw gnireets s’lliB,knil erihppas,llehs lairetam.”

She didn’t know how many times she repeated the sentence but the tip of her fingers felt a mix of glacier coldness and seething hotness. A spark of electricity popped out from the lines of the circle, an intense brightness emanated from the lines of Bill’s face and it crept into the plushie until it changed its color from yellow to dark blue.

Now the brightness has surpassed the levels of a neon sign from Las Vegas but Mabel didn’t let that distract her as she kept chanting endlessly. A few minutes later, her room and she were consumed by a blue-ish flash that went as fast as the blink of an eye.

A loud gasp was heard right after. “What the—?” Bill looked at himself. His cartoonish black legs and arms were now a mix of black yarn and thin rods. The rest of his body felt squishy and light. Even his eye had other consistency.

“It…It worked… Oh my gosh! It worked!!” Mabel exclaimed then clapped her hands over her mouth. She glanced at the door expecting his father to knock and ask why she shouted or if she had a nightmare. Thankfully, he didn’t.

“Welp, I have to hand it to you, kid. You have a talent for magic!” His hands touched the yarn-made top hat from his temporal body. More thin rods were also used to give it more structure like his limbs.

Aww, that was sweet! Even if it came from a maniacal, genocidal, talking nacho. “Good news is that no one else noticed this, but now that you’re in my house, you must stay as quiet. Super duper quiet. Also, tomorrow we’ll have an interview because there is something that isn’t adding up. For now, let’s just sleep.”

“Sleep?” Bill blew a raspberry. “Kid, have you forgotten—?” Too late. Mabel was already sleeping on the soft carpet.

Great. Perfect even, she is making him wait! Ugh!

===========

Meanwhile on Gravity Falls…

A high-pitched, loud beep echoed in the lab beneath the shack. A sci-fi-looking computer-radar showed in its black screen a singular point and a bit above it there was a sentence saying, “Unknown. Piedmont, California.”

[electrikworm]

Things Cal Kestis has Issues with: Hazardous Chemicals

Relationships: Greez & Cal Kestis

Content Warnings: Chemical Burns (mentioned)

Summary:

Greez learns of the worrying way the scrapper guild prevented outbreaks of parasites among their workers.

Word count: 2’028

Read on Ao3

Chapter Text

“Hey, Greez,” Cal's voice comes from beside the Latero, tearing him away from his cooking, “Where's your Sani-Alk?”

“Sani-Alk?” Greez huffs, dropping the knife he'd been using to stare at the Jedi. “Kid, the day I let someone bring Sani-Alk on the Mantis is the day I've dropped dead.” The mere thought that Cal assumed Greez must use that vile chemical is highly insulting. It's the absolute worst kind of industrial cleaner you can get your hands on. Anyone using it is either a miserable cheapskate that doesn't care about the condition of their equipment or a fool. It's the kind of stuff that has more safety warnings plastered on its label than anything else on the market. The only benefit it has is coming at a low cost.

“Okay, okay, I was just asking.” Cal raises his hands defensively, laughing somewhat awkwardly. Greez can't help but notice that whilst Cal's removes his harness and boots, he's still wandering about in dirty clothes. “What alternatives have you got?”

Thinking for a moment, Greez crosses his arms in front of his chest. He knows he's got heavy duty cleaner, knows what it looks like and where it's stored too, but he's forgotten the name. “It's with the tools for hull repairs. Semi-clear white plastic with pink liquid inside. Can't miss it.”

“Thanks,” Cal says, clasping his hands together, already turning to leave.

“Wait,” Greez calls after him, “what do you need industrial cleaner for anyway?”

Cal trudges back, leaning forwards to look back into the kitchen from the corridor. “Had to swim through some dirty water and I'm not convinced there weren't all kinds of parasites floating about in it,” Cal says.

Greez's mind leaps to the most logical conclusion. “So you're gonna wash BD?”

“Later, I'm cleaning myself first.”

Pausing, Greez inhales deeply. “I swear Cal, if you're going to tell me that you plan to use a highly aggressive chemical cleaner on your own skin, then I might just have an aneurysm.”

The way Cal goes still, glancing off to the side, tells Greez everything he needs to know.

“Are you crazy? You know the damage that could cause?” Greez snaps, perhaps a little too harshly, whilst pointing a finger at Cal.

The Jedi's face twists into annoyance and insult as he takes a step towards Greez. “I'm not stupid Greez, I know what I'm doing!”

“And what is that exactly? Please enlighten me on what you possibly want to achieve.” Dread has settles in Greez's stomach. He doesn't like where this conversation is going at all. Most of all because Cal really isn't stupid, so he must have picked this idea up somewhere. Greez gets the awful feeling he knows exactly where.

“I already told you, I'm trying to kill off anything that might have got on me in that water.” Cal stands there stiffly, arms at his side as he clenches his hands. It looks like he's trying to make himself look larger than he is. If he were still wearing his poncho, it might have been more effective. With out it, it's very blatant just how thin the human is.

“There are better ways to deal with parasites, kid,” Greez sighs.

Shoulder's hunching, Cal's face falls a little. He almost seems to shrink a few inches as his stature changes. “It's what we did on Bracca.”

Pure sabacc, Greez had guessed right. Not that it was a hard guess. Every few days they seem to learn of some new concerning fact that had been part of Cal's day to day life on Bracca.

“Sit,” Greez says, indicating one of the chairs around the kitchen table. Cal hesitates.

“I'm dirty,” he mumbles. It's always worrying when he gets so quiet.

“Doesn't matter, I'll clean later if I have to.” Greez watches Cal as he slowly does as asked, moving to sit on the chair with his hands resting on his knees after turning it to face Greez. The Latero leans against the counter, lower arms crossed. The vegetables he'd been cutting have been momentarily forgotten. "Now tell me, why'd you use kark like Sani-Alk to deal with parasites on Bracca?" Greez waits quietly, hoping Cal knows he only needs to share as much as he feels comfortable talking about. Cal shrugs, rotating the chair left and right a little as he thinks. "It's what the guild did. If there were any signs of parasite outbreaks among the workers, everyone had to do a once over with the stuff." Greez hums, watching Cal closely as he talks. Where the Jedi had been so certain earlier, when he'd told Greez what he needed the chemical for, he seemed unsure now. Questioning what he's previously accepted as fact has shaken Cal, making him sound like he barely even believes what he's saying. "Why not just use sonics? Surely that'd be cheaper and safer," Greez says, running a hand across his hair to distract from the anger that's started bubbling up at more information about Cal's previous workplace coming up. Cal laughs. The sound is hollow, almost entirely humourless. "We didn't have access to sonics. The parts didn't come to Bracca new, best case you could scrape one together from a ship wreck." Cal pauses, pushing his hair out of his face. It looks damp from the body of water the Jedi swam through earlier. "Not worth the risk doing that. A faulty sonic is damaging at best, deadly in the worst cases. Once heard reports of an apartment complex that advertised it's above standard facilities and charged almost double the credits in rent that's sonics failed. Gave off the wrong frequency of vibration and killed four through brain damage." Greez freezes up. He'd never thought about what would happen if a sonic malfunctioned. He'll have to run the diagnostic over theirs soon, just to be sure. "So what? They hosed you down with chemicals instead?" That gets an almost genuine snort out of Cal. "No, they'd have us shower with it." When Greez says nothing, Cal continues. "They'd sort us into groups of around twenty and lead us into the first of two room. There we'd shower with the chemical. You'd let it do its thing for a few minutes, then go to the next room and rinse it off. You'd be allowed to wear a rebreather throughout of course, but how you kept your eyes safe was your own issue." Sighing, Greez runs a hand across his face. Everything that just came out of Cal's mouth must violate at least a dozen health regulations. "And doing all that didn't burn you?" Cal shakes his head. "They diluted it. Worst you got was your skin being itchy for the next week, but it got rid of parasites every time." Greez wishes they could have the Jedi checked over at a medcenter, just to make sure there'd been no unseen damage to his body over his years on Bracca. But that's not an option they have. He's about to continue asking questions when Cal cuts in again. "But there was one time where they karked the dilution." Cal's waving a hand about casually, like he's about to share some amusing anecdote and not a recount of a serious risk to his health. Greez already knows that's he's going to hate the whole thing. "The stuff started burning the moment it hit your skin. When the overseer's noticed, they did actually start hosing us down, but with water. It still got all over my shoulders and back, bit of my head too. Part of my hair fell out after that, so I shaved it. Grew back right though, so no harm done." Cal laughs, touching the back of his neck with his hand like he's remembering. Knowing the guild, Cal barely got time off work to heal. Imagining him there, climbing wreckages in Bracca's either unbearably hot or uncomfortably wet weather whilst severely burned makes Greez feel a little queasy.

“How old were you?”

Cal hesitates again. “Think I was around fifteen.”

Greez doesn't even have the words to voice his hatred for the whole situation, for the guild. A kid that age shouldn't even have been working, let alone being exposed to such harsh chemicals and forced to work injured.

“I don't want to hear of you ever doing something like that again, got it? Just use the sonic.” The statement comes out a little accusatory, but Greez hopes Cal doesn't take it the wrong way.

“Will that be enough?”

“Should be,” Greez says. “If you're still worried after, we'll figure something out that doesn't involve hazardous chemicals.” Smiling, Greez tries to put the Jedi at ease. Cal still looks a bit off when he nods and hops off the seat, wandering off. A little while later, Greez hears the sonic running.

Wiping down the chair Cal sat on, just to rid it of any potential bits of drying mud, Greez returns to bustling about the kitchen. It serves as a good distraction from the concern. Greez didn't used to have such problems. All he had to worry about in the past was game strategies and the credits he had to finance his favourite pastime. Now he had other people to worry about, and his mind seems to treat doing so like a constant necessity. Greez would still take this over before any day. He was barely more than a hollow husk back then, desperately trying to cram the void in his chest with gambling and pointless distractions.

Greez does wish Cal would stop acting like making the Latero worry is his day job though. That would make his life a hell of a lot easier.

When Cal returns, he's wearing fresh clothes. The shirt is borrowed from Cere, the shorts used to belong to Greez, though they're significantly longer on the Latero than on Cal. Both items of clothing weren't worn often and as such, echo free according to Cal. Still, Greez makes a mental note to find Cal some of his own clothes soon. How tightly Cal has to draw the strings keeping his shorts up makes Greez feel bad, and not just cause the clothes fit badly.

BD-1 trails behind Cal, evidently done charging. He looks clean as well, so Cal must have gotten to that too.

“Almost done cooking, why don't you sit down whilst you wait.”

Cal's still too quiet for Greez's liking when he obliges. BD hops up onto the counter, settling near Cal and chattering away in binary. Normally, Greez would remind them that he doesn't want droids tracking dirt across his kitchen surfaces, but since BD's freshly washed and Cal's not holding up too well, Greez doesn't have the heart to do so. Greez offers Cal something to drink, but he declines.

When the food is simmering as it should, Greez sits down next to Cal. The Jedi is hunched, right hand resting on the table and tapping a rhythm with his pointer finger. Thanks to the short sleeves, Greez can see bruises forming around Cal's elbow.

“How you holding up?” Greez asks. Cal keeps staring off into the distance.

“Fine,” he says. Greez doesn't believe him.

“If you need to talk more, I can listen,” Greez offers, leaning forwards a little to try and catch Cal's eyes. BD-1 trills, making Greez wish he'd finally brush up his binary.

What ever BD says makes Cal smile. “Thanks,” he says, glancing over at Greez.

“For what it's worth, I'm sorry Cal.” Greez isn't good at this, apologizing is all he can think to do.

“Don't be,” Cal responds, and silence falls across the two again.

Not wanting to force anything, Greez leaves Cal to decide if he wants to talk. The Jedi keeps being quiet and withdrawn, making Greez question if he'd done something wrong.

But once Cal eats, he starts livening up a bit more, sharing what he'd been doing out and about with BD earlier. Greez still doesn't find his handling of the situation good, regretting not calling Cere for help, but at least his food seems to help improve Cal's mood somewhat. For the moment, it'll have to do.

[brittanyearnestauthor]

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