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dxxdhood · 4 months ago

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drains me slowly

pairing: wade wilson x gn!reader

summary: deadpool finally invites you, the coworker he has a massive crush on, over, which means the two of you end up doing more than just watching a movie.

tags: smut (18+), sub!wade wilson, dom!reader, pain kink, use of superpowers to fuel a pain kink, light masochism, teasing, gentle dom, hand job, scratching, body worship

wc: 3.3k

a/n: fic inspired by the new deadpool movie coming out!!! also, title is from love me dead by ludo.

No surprise that Wade wasn’t exactly anyone’s favorite– that goes for among the heroes he’s worked with and throughout his life in general. He’s – to put it in the kindest way anyone’s ever told him – fucking annoying. Oh, he’s more than aware that he’s a little too out-of-pocket, abrasive, impulsive– a nightmare to interact with, really. And those were just the recent comments made by the closest thing he has to coworkers! The shit he heard from people growing up was leagues worse.

Look, having a rough start in life isn’t uncommon and he’s sure as hell not gonna get the tiny violin out for himself and throw his own little pity party, but he’s grown enough since his healing factor got beat out of him to acknowledge that he’s had it tough over the years.

He’s still going, though! Yeah, he may not always be the best at doing his laundry quick enough to get any clean clothes to wear, or at stopping his room from becoming cluttered with too many half-empty water bottles, but he’s still making it by, day by day.

But, well, it’s still really hard to constantly put himself out there, get assigned – or infinitely more likely, just shove himself into – whatever jobs or missions he feels like taking on when everyone treats him like Jar Jar Binks.

That was until you came along. So, obviously you’re crazy hot – he’s gotta get that out of the way first – but more than that, you were confident. Competent, too, and those rarely coincide in Wade’s experience. You mostly worked on call, joining the occasional mission, battle, or investigation because your mutant powers came in handy often, but you also still kept up with your day job. Honestly, Wade thinks the reason why you weren’t always present in fights was to stop the other mutants from being out of a job. Your ability to slowly deteriorate surrounding biological tissue, while horrifying and a pain in the ass to control – your words – was basically winning on easy mode.

But no, you were adamant about keeping your involvement with the X-Men infrequent– only joining when your presence was absolutely necessary. Apparently nonstop high stress situations aren't good for your mental health– who knew?

And he wants to pretend he became obsessed with you because of all those things, and of course they helped, but really, you had him at hello. Or well, you bothering to say hello and actually talk to him in the first place, to ask him questions about his life in moments of downtime where usually he’d be left with an unenthusiastic audience instead of a warm-hearted listener who actually laughed at his jokes.

So, of course, he has to go and fuck it up.

…

“So, glad that’s over, huh?” Wade says through a smile, the whites of his mask squeezing as his cheeks rise. “Speaking of over, you wanna come?”

“Over?” you shake your head a little, flashing your teeth as you try and comprehend him. “Right after we took on a whole crime ring?”

“Well, what a better time to unwind, am I right?”

“Oh?” you raise your eyebrows. “We’re unwinding?”

It’s small, but you swear Wade ups his talking speed, “Well, yeah, you know. Watch a movie, order in, show you my Pokemon cards, the works.”

You hum, pretending to consider it, “Depends, you got a holo Charizard?”

And now, for sure, he exhales his relief. “You insult me.”

The two of you enter his apartment not long after you’re dismissed from the mission, and Wade briefly excuses himself to change out of his suit. Making yourself at home, you take a seat on the couch and glance across his living room. His apartment is surprisingly nice. The kitchen and living room are one large, open space with a sleek, modern design. Also, you’d assume someone as chaotic as Wade would keep their house in a messier state, or hell, at least a little dusty, but the living room is spotless. Maybe he cleaned recently? What, was he planning on inviting someone over?

Snorting as you shake your head, a small click from across the hall catches your attention.

You’ve only seen Wade on the job, so naturally he’s always been wearing his red suit, but for some reason, you never stopped to picture him wearing civilian clothes. Actually, now that you’re seeing him in a sweatshirt and sweatpants – awfully warm for this weather – you’re struggling to reconcile the image of him you had in your head with the person right in front of you.

Well, at least until Wade brings up a fist to cover his mouth, illustrating his nervousness, and the tension fizzles out. Only Wade has body language that cartoonishly exaggerated.

“Nice sweats, green looks good on you.”

Wade pauses for a moment, registering your words before he giggles softly, arm falling to his side, “I’ve been thinking about changing the color of my suit. You know, hiding all the blood is great and all, but sometimes I gotta wonder – could this thing be more flattering?”

He walks over with a spring in his step before sitting by your side. Cutely, he wraps you up in the larger blanket first before settling the smaller, throw blanket over himself. You try your hardest not to show your confusion outwardly, but seeing Wade up close now has you questioning his outfit all the more.

He’s a bit tall, so the sweatpants don’t go all the way down to his ankles, but Wade’s wearing calf socks, as if he specifically were trying to avoid them being uncovered. Also, his hoodie’s easily a size or two larger, which makes it the perfect thing to wear to lounge around and watch a movie in, but also, the sleeves cover his entire hand sans his fingers. From the little you can see of them, they look puckered in scars.

But obviously Wade’s hands are scarred– he’s a mercenary. He’s handled all sorts of weapons and been in hundreds of fights over the years. You weren’t expecting his skin to be baby-smooth.

What’s interesting to you is why he’d go through all the trouble to hide it.

Also, yeah, the most obvious pointers were that the hood of his sweatshirt is up even though you two are indoors in his own home and – how could you forget this one – his Deadpool mask is still on.

Was he just uncomfortable with sharing his identity in general or was he specifically trying to shove distance between the two of you? Whatever, if he doesn’t want to take his mask off with you, he doesn’t have to. You feel a distinct pang in your chest, but you try not to let it color how you respond to him. He’s more than in the right to only share what he feels most comfortable with.

Wade’s been fiddling with the remote while you’ve been – hopefully – subtly looking him over, and the screen finally changes from a streaming service page to the opening of the movie.

“We’re watching The Princess Bride? I didn’t take you for a romantic.”

He bats his eyes – at least, you think he does, given the mask– and speaks in a sweet voice “Why, me? Oh please, I know romance. I’m not going to invite a lovely, gorgeous, incredible person over and force them to watch Die Hard on the first–”

His back straightens out like he’s been electrocuted before he forcibly relaxes his posture to finish his thought.

“Hang-out.”

Okay, you want to go easy on him, especially because he seems so tense, but you can’t just let that one slide. You close the small distance remaining between the two of you, causing your entire side to press against his. Even through his sweatshirt, you can feel how warm he is.

“Mmm, just a hang out?” you mumble, sliding your head onto his shoulder. You’ve done this before, either for comedic effect or just in an attempt to push his buttons the same way he always tries to push yours – which, despite his best efforts, always ends up endearing him to you instead of bothering you – but never in a context like this.

He inhales sharply, and you count the seconds until he finally lets himself release it. Sometimes, you think he takes his healing factor for granted.

Turning his head to peer down at you, Wade considers you for a moment, keeping his face and body language deceptively neutral. You try your hardest to keep your eyes focused on the movie and your body loose and comfortable.

“You want this to be a date?” he says, flat.

“Why, thank you for asking, dear sir,” you copy his sweet voice from earlier before returning to your normal. “Yes, Wade, I like you.”

“I–” he starts, but the words get caught on their way out. His fingers bury themselves in the material of his sweatpants, and the movement draws your attention to them again. Shades of blotchy red and pink curve all across his skin.

Wade doesn’t say anything, which is concerning enough on its own, but following your confession, you feel like he’s more than out of his element.

“That’s why you invited me over, right?” you try and help him out. “You feel the same, too.”

And then, feeling bold, you turn your head to face his still mask-covered head and kiss him lightly on the cheek. Instantly, you see fireworks go off inside him, because Wade hurriedly shuts the TV off and runs off to close the blinds. There’s barely enough light in the room now to make out shapes, but apparently Wade doesn’t take any issue because he peels his mask back and kisses you on the lips.

His lips are textured, and your intuition flashes quietly in the back of your mind, but for right now, you focus on how energetic he is. If his body is warm, his mouth feels like it’s on fire. He’s constantly moving, trying to experience all of you as fast as possible.

It’s making your face heat up, how quickly he demands your complete attention and how relentless he is in grabbing it. Wade bites your bottom lip, causing you to gasp into him, and he uses the opportunity to explore across your own teeth and tongue. After a few more seconds, you break away, needing the space to breathe.

“Holy shit,” you whisper, voice rough.

“You’re telling me,” Wade coughs out. “We could’ve been doing that this whole time?”

“Well, all you had to do was ask.”

And although you can’t see him, which you know is the point, you understand something in him has shifted. He gets up from the couch, takes you by the hand, and leads you towards his room. His pace is so quick, you barely comprehend his actions until you’re both standing right in front of his bed.

“Is this okay?” he asks, quiet. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him stifle the amount of words he let loose before.

“Yes, of course it is. But Wade, we have to turn on at least a lamp or something in here.”

“We do?”

“Yeah,” you pause to give him a second to think. “I can’t see you at all like this.”

“What if – and you're just going to have to trust me on this one – you’d prefer it this way,” Wade’s voice is light, but it feels like it’s cracking at the edges.

“And why’s that?”

Not like you’d be able to see, but the anxiety radiating off of him makes him sound wide-eyed, “Huh? Oh, I– uh…”

“Look, if you’re worried about how I’m going to react to you having a bunch of scars– don’t. I don’t mind,” the sound of fabric rustling in front of you makes you think he just flinched. “I figured it out. You’re not sneaky.”

“You say that, but…”

“Wade, I don’t care. And I mean that kindly! Really, it doesn’t bother me.”

Wade starts pacing in front of you, nearly tripping on the leg of the bedpost, “Look, I appreciate the whole hero act you got going on here – really fits you good, you should totally quit your day job – but you don’t have to force yourself, I–”

“Wade, you either confront your insecurities head on or I’m not doing this with you. I told you what I think, the only person who’s going to worry about how you look here is you. We either have sex with a light on or not at all, okay?”

No one speaks for a few seconds once you finish saying your piece, and you cringe, realizing how forceful you must have come off. You’re about to speak up again to apologize when you hear a shudder-filled exhale from a few feet away.

“Jesus H. Christ,” he groans. “You’re so hot when you're putting people in their place.”

Your lips curl into a shaky smile, “Yeah, what else do you think is hot?”

And you can practically hear the gears turning in his head from here.

…

It’s actually happening. No fucking way he didn’t dream this up. But you were pretty adamant about him getting his head in the game in order for you guys to actually get down and dirty, so for you, he tries to keep his train of thought as focused as possible– a big ask.

“Bossing anyone – everyone, especially me – around. You using your abilities–” you reach over and find Wade’s hand before running your fingers up his arm. “Shit, umm, using your abilities in general, but, umm, I really like when I’m there.”

“Oh?” you giggle. “When you get to watch, or?”

“When I get to feel.”

Your hand moves over to the nape of his neck, reaching under his hood and mask, to rub at his rough skin. Wade’s nerves light on fire as he waits for you to respond– for some reason, it never feels like your words come out fast enough.

“You got a thing for pain, Wilson?”

He chuckles, “You’d be surprised.”

“Okay, but are you sure? I can try, but it might not be all that good for you.”

“Don’t worry,” he thinks back to all those times he had a hard on while the two of you were fighting together. “It’ll be great for me.”

You hum, “Alright, then, but you tell me to stop the second you don’t like something, okay?”

“Aye, aye, captain,” he salutes, though you probably can’t see it. “And, same goes for you.”

“What a gentleman, letting me destroy him and giving me an out.”

He’s blushing something furious and he’s never been more grateful for the dark, “Anything for you.”

Those are the last words he whispers before he begins undressing. He knows you probably meant for him to strip with the light on, but he’s really not so sure he could stomach being looked at like a bug under a microscope. The attention, while electrifying, was already starting to get to him, so he lets himself stay in his comfort zone a little longer. As a treat.

Once his sweats are off, he hesitantly peels off his mask before slipping into bed, keeping most of his body under the covers. After shutting his eyes, he clicks the lamplight on.

You’re not saying anything. That’s– a sign? A good one, a bad one, Wade doesn’t know. He’s trying so hard to keep his breathing steady, but he can feel his body start shaking all on its own.

You join him on the bed, kneeling next to him, before your warm breath falls across his cheeks as you kiss his forehead. Only then does he open his eyes, and you reward him by cupping his cheek in your hand.

“There,” you say. “Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Wade gets the strong urge to snort, and so he does, but your eyes narrow. There’s a soft scratching at the back of his skull as you snake your hand over, and quickly you dig your nails in slightly. Wade has to bite his tongue to keep the noise in.

“I’m sorry, is that funny to you?”

“No!” he whispers sharply as you bring your hand down to scratch along the line of his neck.

“Good, seems like you’re learning.”

You kiss him, teeth clacking together at first before Wade melts into it. Your hand is still slowly exploring his body, running along the line of his shoulder and towards his upper arm. When you reach his bicep, you very obviously squeeze the muscle there, and you let out a pleased sigh as you begin groping in earnest.

He wants to turn to hide his face in the pillow, not sure how to react to all the positive attention and appreciation, but you catch him trying to turn away, and you kiss him deeper.

While one hand begins to explore his pecs and abs, your other hand scratches down his v-line, softly caressing the skin of his inner thighs before moving around to squeeze his ass.

Wade rewards you with a small whine, and you carefully trail a finger down his dick. You move in to whisper in his ear, “You’re so hot, I’m not forgiving you for hiding for so long.”

Trying to stifle the embarrassing moan that he knows will come out, he bites down on his lip hard, but you take the hand not teasing his cock to gently pry his lip away.

“From now on, I get to hear you, okay?” you say and Wade nods rapidly.

You take the moment you wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and after giving him a second to ready himself, you ask, “I’m going to use it now. Tell me if you want to stop.”

“Okay–” he responds before he feels the sweet sensation of you jerking him off coupled with your power. It’s a humming, dull feeling of pain resting in the background– almost like the sensation of being choked except it’s affecting his entire body. Wade feels like there’s a weight pinning down each of his limbs and it’s so freeing– so relaxing.

He sighs and turns his head to the side, letting out a deep moan when you up the pace of your hand and bring the other to fondle his balls.

“How is it?” you ask, sweat dripping down your brow at trying to control your ability. Sure, it’s powerful and at times pretty horrifying, but Wade always loved how he was essentially immune. At the same rate you could destroy the flesh around you, he could heal his own right back. Just knowing that made him feel good, somehow, like he was made perfectly for you.

“It’s good– so good, I–” he nearly shouts, forgetting about the neighbors.

“Yeah, baby? What do you need?”

At hearing the pet name, he straight up whines as he tries to bury his hands in the sheets instead of his own thighs.

“Not sure, umm, a little more–”

And he doesn’t know which god he has to thank for putting you on this planet, but he’s willing to pay them all a visit. You read him like he’s not some mess, some walking disaster nobody bothers paying attention to, and you give him what you know he needs.

From the base of his chin, you drag your hand in a deep scratch across his neck, chest, and stomach, your eyes watching the pink lines blend in with his scarred skin. It’s a flashing pain, sharp like being scalded and it feels so good mixed with the blunt feel of being under your power.

“I’m gonna–” he says, and of course, you seem to already know. He cums with a deep grunt, rutting his hips into your fist before he thrusts his head forward to kiss you again.

As soon as he comes down, he pulls away only slightly, just so he can say what he’s been wanting to say since he met you.

“Thank–”

You cut him off with another kiss, because sometimes, he really does need to shut up.

#deadpool #wade wilson #deadpool smut #wade wilson smut #deadpool x reader #deadpool x gn! reader #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson x gn! reader #marvel #marvel smut #dom reader #sub character #gn reader #smut #deadpool x you #wade wilson x you

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foldingfittedsheets · 5 months ago

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When I was in third grade I got Weird with writing. It makes sense in hindsight. Oppressed people find their own ways of carving out space for themselves.

The first bit I did landed me in trouble more immediately. I was given, god knows by who, one of those enormous giant pencils. I loved it. My tiny nine year old body was consumed with love of this pencil that was roughly 1/3 of my height. I insisted that I would only use this pencil in school.

It was an unlucky year to be stricken with whimsy. My third grade teacher was a tyrannical Japanese woman fueled by her dislike of children. I suspect the cultural divide between how she expected children to behave and the reality of American children broke her.

She was three foot nothing and getting berated by her was the first time I’d ever looked down at an adult. I also saw her once standing next to her white 6’ behemoth of a husband and tried to conceptualize how two such disparate people had sex. I never could.

If you think I’m exaggerating her wrath it’s worth noting that my best friend at the time developed a stress disorder from this woman and I fell into a bizarre stutter that cleared up the moment I was out of class. In her classroom breaking down crying was a weekly occurrence.

But despite the frigid conditions, I persevered. I stayed silly. I brought my enormous novelty pencil to class every day. It was an act of rebellion that I sank my teeth into and refused to let go. I could barely sharpen it because its girth defied standard sharpeners the way I defied my teacher. This was my pencil.

When she attempted to confiscate my giant pencil I rose an unholy ruckus. This would not turn into the confiscated holographic Charizard, my tamagotchi, or my little pop frogs that she never returned to me. No. This was my goddamn pencil. There was no rules against enormous novelty pencils and after a heated week of debate she finally conceded I could use the hated thing.

It was stolen by my kleptomaniac friend a week or so after that a fact I’d only discover at the end of the year. But my tiny mind was convinced the evil teacher had stolen it.

In retaliation, instead of resuming normal behavior I decided that I would do all my writing upside down and backwards. No one, least of all myself, could explain why I felt this was necessary. Maybe I felt I’d be cool like a spy, maybe I just needed to buck the teachers hateful authority, or maybe I was just a little autistic kid.

When taking notes or writing essays I’d arrange the paper to be upside down. It may surprise you to know that my penmanship was actually quite decent, albeit I wrote a little more slowly than my classmates. That’s why it took the teacher a while to realize what was going on. There wasn’t a drop in the quality of my writing.

Unsurprisingly she hated it when she found out. She lambasted me both privately and in front of the class to write normally. I asked if my writing was illegible. She had to admit that no, it was not. I shrugged. I did not see a problem.

Like the pencil my new writing fixation was cited as being a distraction to the other children. But similarly she didn’t have an easy way to make me stop. She marked me down, gave me several talking tos, and generally bullied me into writing like everyone else.

All attempts at correcting me simply ran off my back. I had found a way to cope with how miserable she made all of us, by inflicting misery back upon her. I was unswayed for the rest of the year.

When I graduated up into fourth grade and had a teacher I adored it suddenly stopped. I looked at the paper and thought, Well that’s silly, and flipped it the right way round.

I can still write upside down, though, a testament to my worst year in public school.

#ramblies #ffs foibles #funny #story #novelty pencil #writing

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xxtc-96xx · 3 months ago

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Speaking of the movie events, it is interesting to think about which movies were reported on or who knows about the events:

The second movie affected the whole planet and was reported on.

The third movie also had reporters which apparently made big enough news to reach Kanto (or wherever Charizard Valley is located).

The only documentation of 4 ever and Heroes would be the arrest of three high ranking Team Rocket members.

Destiny Deoxys affected a whole city and The Rise of Darkrai affected a whole town, so those would make headlines.

Master of Illusions, Ash and Co tricked the main villain Grings Kodai into confessing his crime of city wide environmental damage on tape.

In the black and white movies a whole castle is moved, so if that wasn’t reported on then it would create loads of confusion for tourists who wanted to visit the castle.

Hoopa and the Clash of Ages is a similar situation to Destiny Deoxys and The Rise of Darkrai where the events affected a whole City.

Volcanion and the Mechanical Marvel main villain Alva is a councillor, so his actions and his arrest for attempted mass murder would have definitely made the headlines.

As for the films post gen 6

The Power of Us has a city go through a whole crisis so that would definitely make headline news.

Koko/Secrets of the Jungle, Dr Zed would be in the news for both the environmental damage he caused and the double murder that was uncovered by the whistleblowers known as Jessie and James.

All other movies only Ash, his companions, and the handful of new friends Ash makes in those movies get to experience the events due to the events taking place somewhere remote, or conveniently no civilians discovering that legendary and/or mythical Pokemon are fighting in the middle of a large populated area.

The exception being the first movie where Mewtwo wiped everyone’s memories of the film’s events, thanks Mewtwo.

Wiping memories was the dumbest decision they could have made to reset Ash and friends to the status quo considering they already forget everything they went through whenever a big event happens

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highvern · 7 months ago

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Seventeen as Pokemon Trainers

Genre: humor, crack

Note: partially inspired by @ugh-yoongi bts as pokemon gym leaders v fun way to break up the fic im working on. thinking about doing ateez if i get the inspo

m.list

Seungcheol

our leader but also the biggest baby girl. retired champion and uses the same team from his youth to this day. He’ll randomly show up places like some old man, talk about the good old days, and wait for someone to challenge him. The only person whose managed to best him is Jeonghan and his damn clefairy

team: charizard, dragonair, bronzong, spiritomb, lapras, aerodactyl

Jeonghan

If you’re in the woods alone, Jeonghan will approach and ask for help while his pokemon pickpocket you. He likes the cute pokemon and has maxed them all out so he can scam people into battles and oneshot their entire team. Word on the street is his jigglypuff is wanted in multiple countries for tax evasion

team: tinkaton, jigglypuff, espeon, tandemaus, mime jr., clefairy

Joshua

Gym leader and one of the first gyms you encounter. Copied the elite four in the sense that once you enter his gym you can’t leave unless you defeat everyone. Bug types are weak so he makes up for it by being a lunatic. Likes bug pokemon bc they freak people out. He’s more interested in people’s reaction to his team than winning but that doesn’t mean he’ll let up

team: vespiquen, drapion, gardevoir, dustox, parasect, galvantula

Jun

Cats and cat adjacent. He’s literally just some guy that hangs around town and feeds the stray cats in hopes they’ll follow him home. So fars hes be successful. likes to have a staring contest with espurr that usual ends with them both falling asleep with their eyes open.

team: espurr, litten, purugly, glaceon, liepard, delcatty

Hoshi

Gym leader and electric type enthusiast. Arcanine is the exception bc tiger is life. You hear him before you see him and if you do see him it’s probably because he's flying thirty feet in the air from a well timed thunderbolt courtesy of his Jolteon he can’t help but pet when thinking. one of the best gym leaders, also defeated the elite four but by then cheol was champion and hoshi learned a valuable lesson on why you shouldn't brag about winning with a one type team

team: luxray, jolteon, arcanine, electivire, zebstrika, emolga

Wonwoo

All of his pokemon are from when he was an edgy teen and thought they made him look more intimidating because he wanted to be a gym leader. He’s mellowed out now and mostly battles for fun. A lot people think he’s scary but then he opens his mouth and goes on a 45 minute spiel about his absol’s favorite bedtime story and why hydreigon is simply misunderstood

team: hydreigon, absol, garchomp, mismagius, banette, lucario

Woozi

Works out with his team so it's survival of the fittest. People think he’s intimidating because he is but actually very chill. Constantly asked why he doesn’t become a gym leader and the answer is always the same: he doesn’t w4ant to. He is content to sit back and watch Hoshi act like a psycho. Doesn’t really battle much but when he does his opponent is in for a world of hurt.

team: poliwrath, metagross, gallade, gigalith, hariyama, infernape

Seokmin

Every pokemon he has starts with “well its actually a funny story…” dodrio just started following him home and seokmin was too scared to tell it to leave, same with lickilicky… and marill… and pikachu. But they’re basically a captive audience for his shenanigans and he sometimes will busk with chatot and makes a good amount of money

team: meganium, lickilicky, chatot, dodrio, marill, pikachu

Mingyu

Aims for balance. Very bro with his pokemon except Cleffa who is carried around in one of those child wraps. Not on the journey to become champion, more so just wants to see the world with his besties. You can find him sleeping in a cuddle puddle with his team after sitting around the fire and eating too many marshmallows.

team: raichu, empoleon, emboar, tauros, cleffa, steelix

Minghao

Appreciates the beauty of pokemon, especially ghost/dark/fairy. they fit his aesthetic. Has a few randoms to throw people off. You can find him sitting in a field under a full moon while they all meditate or just standing in a cave marveling at the nature (right before he sends you hightailing the way you came)

team: toxicroak, gengar, musharna, murkrow, houndoom, drifblim

Seungkwan

My island boy… also a jock. Not a gym leader but a notoriously difficult trainer you meet later on the beach. His team is as sassy as he is and has no issue KO’ing everyone, including you. Hope you know how to swim!

team: blastoise, lopunny, ambipom, azumarill, milotic, blaziken

Vernon

Average Mr. Chwe. Sometimes he’ll compete in tournaments if he’s bored or one of his friend’s drags him around. His team gets odd looks given he picked a few because they make him laugh but ngl they love him and are shockingly good in battle.

team: sudowoodo, slugma, squirtle, munchlax, mr. rime, combusken

Chan

Living his ash ketchum fantasy. Next champion but Seungcheol keeps threatening to come out of retirement just to fuck with him. Josh sought him out just to KO his team before he even reached the first gym town. Hoshi found him on a random beach and let him win just so when he got to his gym Hoshi could destroy his team several times before Chan managed to land a single attack.

team: ivysaur, ninetales, krookodile, shelgon, gyarados, larvitar

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tinygenderfluid · 8 months ago

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You know what's kinda insane to me?

The fact that Ash Ketchum isn't famous in the pokemon universe, like in-universe.

You mean to tell me that a ten-year-old going region to region, meeting multiple legendaries and solving insane problems with his recognizable as fuck pikachu isn't atleast twitter famous? Not even considered a cryptic that when people say that they met him, he beat their asses in a pokebattle, then continued to also beat a legendary/an evil league/team rocket, that people online don't go: "oooh another region/world wide incident that can go on the conspiracy board, time to put new red threads between this major world-impscting event and the fact that this kid might me god."

I mean, he atleast should be famous in Kalos from the jumping-off-the-Prism-tower-fiasco alone but he also sorta stopped an artificial apocalypse set up by an evil pokemon league using an unidentified legendary and a previously long lost mega-evolution form from a starter pokemon. (It's been a while since I watched the anime, don't get on my ass).

I mean, pokemon champions are kind of considered famous because people recognise them in-universe right? Shouldn't someone online have recognised him from hanging out with so many champions alone? You mean to tell me that if some random ten-year old started showing up in news articles with famous people even if he was just in the background, no one in the entire world would make a reddit post saying 'hey look at this funny coincidence, this kid has been spotted with 5 champions or something' ????????

Buzzfeed unsolved episodes have been made about less.

I get it that he wouldn't become well known from the mewtwo incident - because mewtwo erased the memories of everyone involved if I remember correctly - but you mean to tell me no one remembered him from the three legendary kanto birds and Lugia (saved the world), Entei, Celebi, Latio and Latias and literally every other movie? Sure, say those aren't cannon. WHAT ABOUT THE TIME HE LITERALLY GOT KIDNAPPED BY A THOUGHT TO BE EXTINCT POKEMON IN THE FIRST SEASON?? THAT DINO-ASS FLYING POKEMON THAT FORCED CHARMELEON TO EVOLVE INTO CHARIZARD SO THEY COULD FIGHT IT? HE'S NOT ATLEAST INFAMOUS IN KANTO FOR THAT??

Also you can't tell me that there are a lot of ten-year old who fight in multiple major pokemon leagues in contention for the title of regional pokemon champion.

There has to atleast be one autistic 5-year old and their mother in the pokemon world who know all about Ash Ketchum because his adventures are low-key insane.

#ash ketchum with legendaries #pokemon #ash ketchum #pikachu #like seriously Ash would have a Percy Jackson level of in-universe internet fame at the very least #his name would be dropped here and there in interviews from atleast twenty different famous people spread across regions

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 10 months ago

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Hiiiiiii

If it’s not too much trouble, could you do a platonic team star x team star member!reader who became a dragon type specialist squad leader and joined because they got bullied for being a fan of other famous dragon type users like Lance and Raihan?

(Sorry if this is too specific)

Oh no worries, I like specific so it's all good!

..........

"I'm gonna be just like them one day.." Sighing dreamily, you sat down at the cafeteria table, watching a video on your rotomphone while chowing down breakfast.

It was footage of a fierce Pokémon battle in Galar--a showdown between two of your idols, who were among the most famous dragon trainers of all time: Lance and Raihan.

Of course, you looked up to many other dragon type users in Paldea, but these two in particular kickstarted your dreams of becoming one yourself, inspired by their interviews and fierce determination.

You also hoped to meet them and have a battle, although that was a little too farfetched for you right now..

Yet you didn't let that discourage you from forming your own dragon team, using your studies at Uva/Naranja Academy to teach them all the best moves and remember type matchups.

Tatsugiri was your main partner, and when combined with your Dondozo..it was an absolute powerhouse in double-battles--albeit this academy usually focused on the traditional single battles.

You were also currently raising a Drakalok, Cyclizar, Arctibax, and Sliggoo, and you cherished all of them dearly. Tatsugiri was a bit of an attention hog at times, though, and always wanted to stay out of its ball and on your shoulder.

You didn't mind it, of course. Whether you're heading to class or to a tournament where dragon trainers were going to participate, you always went together.

Life was perfect.

Except for-

"Still prattling on about being the next famous dragon gym leader, huh?"

-one of your bullies already ruining your day before it could even begin.

For some reason..a few kids at the academy really had it out for you simply because you admired famous dragon trainers. You didn't think there was anything wrong with looking up to your idols. But apparently they thought you were being too "obnoxious" about it and sought to make your life utterly miserable.

It only got worse when you spoke up about it to a teacher, as that bully got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist--that being to train their Pokémon as "punishment".

By sheer convenience, they had ice and fairy types. And that teacher only gave them the chance to make their team stronger and further intimidate you...to the point where you're afraid to go outside, fearing they'll drag you into a battle.

You've kept silent since, hoping to avoid them at all costs and try to keep your grades up. But unfortunately, Arceus wasn't smiling upon you today...and quite frankly, you were tired.

Huffing, you switched off your phone and scowled up at the bully. "Still following me around campus, huh?" You mocked, with Tatsugiri hopping on the table and mimicking your expression. "That's kinda creepy if you ask me."

"Well those stupid fangs of yours are creeping everyone out." They sneered, pointing out your sharp teeth. "Halloween is over, y'know."

"I've already told you..these are canines, and they are real."

"Yeah? More like real freaky."

"Look, just leave me alone before you anger Tatsugiri." You warned, watching as their gaze shifted to your ace, falling silent for a moment or two...

Before erupting into laughter. "Oh wow, I'm soooooo scared of your stupid sushi roll! What ever will I do??" They shook their head. "If you want my advice, dump this thing and get yourself a real dragon. Like a Charizard or-"

"You don't get to decide WHO I can have as a partner!!!" Your hands slammed onto the table as you stood up, fists clenched with anger. Even though you could see people's heads turning in your peripheral vision, you didn't care. "Tatsugiri may not look it, but it's more powerful than you'll ever know! You don't know our bond, so just back off already!!"

"Oooooh, I didn't know you knew Outrage..better not hit yourself in confusion." They snickered.

"...why are you like this?" With slumped shoulders, you frowned at them. "Why do you keep tormenting me day after day?! I've done nothing to you. Is it a crime to admire my heroes? To wanna be like them?"

"No, but you'd be an embarrassment to every future dragon tamer. I mean who'd wanna see a pathetic thing like that in the Elite Four? Or on a Champion's team? Raihan and Lance would laugh in your face and crush you if they saw-"

"STOP IT!!" You finally snapped, hitting the table again before taking out one of your pokeballs. "Do you want a battle?! Is that what you want?!! Then you'll get it-!!"

"[Y/n], what is the meaning of this?"

Hearing the voice of the director made all the color drain from your face. The bully just smirked as you slowly turned to Harrington, seeing him looking at you with a frown.

"This is the second disturbance you've caused in this same area. You know battles aren't permitted inside the academy."

It's only then did you realize everybody in the cafeteria was staring..and you shrunk back in embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry, Director. I didn't mean to shout. They were just-"

But when you tried to point out the bully, they were gone.

How convenient.

"From how it looks..you were intimidating them. And you should also know we have a zero tolerance policy for such behavior."

"But I wasn't..they-!" You tried in vain to defend yourself, yet the look on Harrington's face told you he didn't wanna hear any of it.

"We can discuss this further in my office. Return your Tatsugiri to its pokeball and follow me, if you will."

"....yes, sir." Defeated, you gathered your things and put Tatsugiri back into the pokeball (much to its dismay), before commencing the long walk of shame to the director's office.

Maybe he will believe you.

.......

"He didn't believe me either. What's the point of "standing up for myself" if I'm just gonna get in trouble?! What's the point if they're always gonna get away with it while I face suspension?!"

"Suu.."

"I know I kinda let myself go back there, but...th-they kept pushing me and pushing me! Why couldn't he understand that? Why doesn't anyone here understand-?!"

"Tasu!"

Calming yourself down a little, you looked to Tatsugiri, who sat on your bed and looked up at you with sad eyes, wishing you weren't being so harsh on yourself.

"....well, I know you understand me, buddy." You quietly sighed and sat down, bringing it into your hands as it nuzzled your cheek. Immediately your shoulders relaxed. "I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm just...it's been frustrating. But I swear I'll never replace you for any other dragon. Not even for a shiny Charizard."

"Yip-yip?!" It cried out.

"Believe me! I won't." You chuckled, although you stopped as you thought over this morning's events...

And suddenly you felt sick to your stomach.

Just thinking about going to your afternoon class today made you feel ill, wondering who was going to harass you two next...and if you'll be able to do anything about it without getting into trouble with the director.

Now that you've gotten your second strike, you had to be careful not to lash out like that again.

But what else were you supposed to do?

Let them continue to bully you around and make your poor partner feel absolutely worthless? How was that fair to either of you?

At this point, you've ran out of adults in this academy to talk to...besides the nurse, of course, although she seemed more adept at healing Pokémon than counseling students.

Even if she was willing to listen, you doubt anything would change.

Nobody here took your side or could possibly understand what you were going through-

"Roto-to-to~"

Your rotomphone started ringing, displaying an unknown caller ID. Normally you'd ignore it, although Tatsugiri had a better idea and decided to slap the screen with its fin, answering it.

"Tatsu!" You grumbled, pulling it away from your phone before addressing the stranger, feeling embarrassed. "Sorry! My Pokémon-"

"Greetings, am I speaking to [y/n]?"

".....uh...yeah?" Your eyebrows furrowed with confusion, not expecting to hear a distorted voice on the other end of the line. "And who am I speaking to exactly?"

"My name is Cassiopeia. Leader of Team Star."

"Team Star?" You blinked, remembering all of the rumors you've heard about this organization. They were a small group of kids who got bad grades, skipped school often...and sometimes harassed others into joining them or pulled pranks on teachers.

Why would their leader contact you?

Or better yet...how did they even get ahold of your number?

"Correct. We've been watching you for some time, and we see your pain. It must feel awful...being pushed around and intimidated all because you admire some famous trainers. And when you finally have the courage to defend yourself and your Pokémon...suddenly you're the bad guy? It's so unfair."

"How do you.....l-look, um..Cassiopeia. I got a lot going on right now." You mumbled, hoping to end this conversation quickly. "I'm facing suspension if I cause one more scene, so I don't think I should be talking to delinquents like-"

"That is a lie. Team Star isn't a group of delinquents. We're so much more than that." They interrupted you, sounding a bit annoyed. "The truth is that WE are the victims. We who were shamed and excluded for the crime of being ourselves. The system has failed us, [y/n], and we formed this group as a way to stand up and stand out."

"...ah, I see." Now you were growing a bit more understanding and sympathetic towards them. You always had a feeling that your classmates overexaggerated how "evil" this team really was, making comparisons to Team Rocket and organizations that were legitimately evil and criminal.

But obviously, you never put your two cents in. You were already getting bullied enough just for saying Lance and Raihan are cool dragon trainers you wished to meet.

You were already getting bullied enough just for admiring some famous dragon trainers.

"So...obviously you're trying to sell me something." You huffed, kicking your feet up on the desk. "You want me to join your team as one of your goons-?"

"Oh no. I actually have something much better in mind." Cassiopeia cut in once more. "We've seen how you battle with dragon types. Very impressive, I must say. You never back down from a challenge. You're fierce, protective..and you demonstrate incredible leadership."

That felt flattering to hear, considering all the times you've gotten criticized for your battling techniques during Ms. Dendra's class.

Recently, she actually made you apologize to your classmate, whose Pokémon was actively bullying yours and provoked it into using a powerful move that knocked it out in one hit.

Why was that such a problem?

Because you weren't supposed to be battling, but the bully kept pushing you into one--and of course, Ms. Dendra didn't see that part.

Only the part where you broke the "No-OHKO" rule she had written into her lesson plan for that day.

Now you were struggling to get your grades back up in battle strategies, which was hard since you gained a reputation as being "too aggressive"..when in reality you were just so afraid and fed up that no one would listen to you.

So hearing this complete stranger give you praise felt genuinely good.

"Oh! Ah...thank you." You decided to bite the bullet. "So what's your offer?"

"We believe you're a good fit to be a squad leader. We have one more slot available. Interested?"

Your heart immediately jumped at the opportunity, although part of you was still holding back.....wondering if it was worth getting mixed-up with people like Cassiopeia and Team Star's revered leaders.

This could very well throw away your entire future and your goals of becoming the next dragon type gym leader. You could be expelled for sure, or even blacklisted from partaking in tournaments.

But at the same time, you were so tired of living in fear and dealing with all of this alone.

Why should you have to? That's setting a terrible example for your Pokémon--they shouldn't have to see their trainer living like that. You had to be brave and stronger, but that was almost impossible if you were just going to suffer repercussions for trying.

Cassiopeia took your silence as hesitation. "I know this is a lot to think about. But trust me, [y/n]. Team Star can do more for you than the Academy ever did. You'll get to train without limits. Your name will be known by all, and nobody will mock you or Tatsugiri ever again. That is what you want, isn't it? To grow stronger together? To stand up against those who wronged you?"

Hearing them mention your partner made you look to the Mimicry Pokemon in your lap. Seeing the way they put their fin on your hand and gave you a small nod ultimately solidified your answer.

You weren't turning back now.

"We can discuss this tomorrow if you'd like-"

"No, I made up my mind. I'll take it. When do I start?"

..........

"Looking sharp as always, Revavroom."

With a sharp-toothed grin, you gently patted the head of your Starmobile--specifically the Revavroom attached to it, as it rumbled in happiness.

Then you hopped onto the vehicle, climbing up to the stage where you could survey the rest of your camp, observing your goons hanging out by the vending machines and driving around on their Cyclizars.

This was the Achird Squad base stationed at Casseroya Lake, and for about a year or so...you've also called it home.

The location was perfect for a mighty dragon leader such as yourself, allowing you to keep watch over the Tatsugiri and Dratini herds you'd see in the waters from time to time.

It was far better than the cramped dorms of the Academy. They would never have let your dragons roam free like Dragapult, Baxcalibur, and all the rest were doing right now..

Ever since joining Team Star, you never looked back and never regretted your decision. You became fast friends with the other bosses, with Atticus even designing some cool armor plates for your outfit that resembled a Kommo-o's scales.

Although things have been...rather weird as of late.

Especially since it was the anniversary of the incident.

Back at the Academy, you and all of the leaders came together with the ultimate to confront your bullies once and for all. It was meant to finally settle who was the strongest, and how you were sick of being pushed around.

Least to say..the tables have turned, and everyone knew your names.

The bullies ended up running scared, barely putting up a fight themselves before scrambling to heal and recall their Pokémon.

You felt pretty good about it, especially when you knocked out that jerk who made fun of your teeth and admiration for dragon trainers in one fell swoop.

But then you looked around and saw everyone's scared faces. Many were recording the battles, spreading them all over social media, or shielding their own Pokémon from potential harm--even though you never intended to hurt them whatsoever.

It turned into a huge scandal over who was in the right or wrong, although in the end your bullies played the victims, dropped out of school, and ended up being listened to the most.

They made you out to be monsters who just attacked them for no reason..and it almost got you all expelled.

However, Cassiopeia took the blame, and while you were pardoned, Harrington, the deputy director (who tried erasing all records of the scandal and bullying to "preserve" the Academy's image), and many teachers left, guilty that they didn't do more to prevent this.

It would have been a bittersweet victory for Team Star---had your leader not also vanished, their last message being a call for the organization to disband.

To this day, none of you understood why they'd do that...or why they think you'd ever wanna leave this team and go back to your studies.

How could you after the faculty messed up this badly?

How could you after they still sided with the bullies?

How could you after they tried to cover up what really happened?

In the end, you all promised to stick together, abiding by your codes and living out on the squad bases. You occasionally met up for discussions and battle plans, although you always held onto hope that if the team kept going long enough....Cassiopeia might come back.

You've tried contacting them through various means, yet none of your Rotoms could retrace their calls nor social media posts. Everything was gone.

As though they wanted you all to forget ever meeting them..

It never made sense to you, considering you could really use a leader back then.

But what's done is done, and you winded up assuming a de factor leader position, given your team was the strongest out of all of theirs. Of course, Ortega was less-than-pleased about holding a vote on it, but you won the majority and he eventually got over it.

Now you've been training your Pokémon more frequently, and only because there's something called "Operation: Starfall" going around--and apparently some Paldean trainer was going around tackling each base with the hope of claiming their badges.

One of the codes was that being defeated in battle meant surrendering it, and that means...

Someone was dead set on shutting down Team Star for good.

But you wouldn't let them. The other bosses were your friends, family..and you'll be damned if you lost them, too.

"Boss! The others are comin' in!" You heard one of the grunts shout, and you looked towards the horizon in surprise.

She wasn't kidding.

Ortega, Mela, Eri, Giacomo, and Atticus were at your base's entrance, waiting for you. Although you were eager to see them after being occupied with training for so long...it didn't concern you that all of them chose to show up at once.

But you refused to show any sort of alarm, huffing as you jumped off the stage, mounting your partner Cyclizar. "Let's ride!" You barked, allowing it to sprint towards the group at full speed.

Your cape fluttered in the wind as it leaped across a small stream, all while Tatsugiri--who was resting in a small basket attached to it--held on for dear life.

Upon arriving, the bosses stopped their chatter and turned as you slowed down, stepping off Cyclizar. You gave it a small pat on the head, assuring that it could rest, before looking at the group.

"So we meet again...what's with the sour faces?" Your eyebrows furrowed at their expressions. When nobody was immediately speaking up, you huffed. "Come on, out with it. You can't come all this way to my base just assume I can read your minds-"

"We come before thee bearing..a warning." Atticus muttered, bowing his head in shame. "The student you've spoken of hath proven to be quite the adversary."

"Is that so? Surely they haven't claimed all of your badges, have they?"

"........"

"Why is no one talking-?"

"Because we got our asses handed to us." Mela bluntly stated, clenching her fists. "We got absolutely smoked...and now you're the only one left."

Your eyes widened in shock and horror, although you didn't get the chance to respond as Ortega cut you off.

"Now before you freak out on us all..we did try our best. We did everything you and Cassiopeia taught us. But this kid....they're good. Almost too good. And this guy named Clive was helping them out the whole time, getting under our skin and everything...."

"Well I wouldn't say that." Eri looked at the fairy trainer, crossing her arms over her chest as she frowned. "He wanted to know where we're coming from and why we're doing all of this."

"...and you just told him?"

You could see everyone tense up, and you just scowled, wondering why they would do this.

"What makes you all think he would care...or why anybody from that academy would care about us now?" Your eyebrows furrowed as Tatsugiri sat on your shoulder, mimicking your expression. "Nobody cared when they hurt us...nobody cared when we were literally begging for help. Look, I know keeping this group together was hard, but it's no excuse to-"

"Honestly...I'm kinda tired of this charade. At least someone's willin' to listen to us now.." Giacomo remarked, frowning a little bit. "But here's the lowdown, [y/n]: we got beaten into the dirt and followed our code, so now we're here to give ya a little heads up before this kid comes after you next. We're sorry. But we tried."

"And we still don't know who's really behind this sting operation.." Mela grumbled, shaking her head in worry. "Someone wants to shut us down for good, and it's definitely not either of those new students. They're just being used to carry out the dirty work."

"I might have a good idea on who it is...and I swear, they'll answer for this." You bared your teeth. "But I'll save my dragon rage for this trainer. Wherever they are, whatever they're doing...I hope they know I'm ready. Because I'm gonna defend Team Star...defend us....until my last breath."

"Su! Su!!" Tatsugiri trilled in agreement, nuzzling your cheek, to which you couldn't help but smile a little bit.

"Well whatever happens next, you have our full support, [y/n]." Eri smiled as she patted your shoulder. "Badge or no badge, we stand behind you."

Everyone else chimed in with agreements, smiles on all of their faces as well--although Atticus' wasn't immediately noticeable, you could see it in his eyes.

Knowing this group still cared about you and believed in your battling skills made all the tension leave your shoulders.

"Thank you, my friends. Hasta la vistar ~☆"

""""Hasta la vistar, and good luck, [y/n]!! ~☆""""

#clanask #anonymous #pokemon x reader #pokemon sv x reader #pokemon scarlet x reader #pokemon violet x reader #team star #team star x reader #platonic #pokemon cassiopeia #pokemon mela #pokemon ortega #pokemon eri #pokemon giacomo #pokemon atticus

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officialdaydreamer00 · 1 year ago

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worm juice time

Lemme get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

Protective reader x everyone's favorite fucked up blue gamer charizard (idia)

Idk maybe some hcs? +10 points for height difference. I feel violent and wanna fight people like a not knight like knight. Screw being fair I'm stealing your life force and then eating chips with my introvert

time to cause chaos :3

reader isn't yuu, gender neutral reader, reader is shorter than idia, implied established relationship, tw for violence, short bc i decided to juice enough worms to put me to sleep

idia didn't know when it happened.

the one time he decided to get out of his safe haven, you just spawned next to him and kinda adopted this introvert.

and now he had a bitey gremlin with a tendency for violence following him around.

they sometimes bite him and use him as a heat pillow to snuggle, but will bring him snacks and just stay by him whenever depreciating thoughts caught up to him.

they also plot revenge against those to talk bad about him, the violence meter depends on how badly they fucked up.

a handful were sent to the infirmary, some were sent to ER, the other few lived in fear of retribution for the rest of the year.

they were suspended, of course, but were set free just a month later. i will not elaborate, they just do.

actually, now that he thought about it, it wasn't that bad.

they didn't do much that gave him the ick, they were... tolerable. surprisingly.

they are quite affectionate to him, but manage to stop themself before they make him uncomfortable.

they like to cuddle with him whenever he games or just generally there in one place. much like a cat, a feral one to be precise.

eventually, he decided he (somewhat) enjoyed their company, and let them do as they please.

in conclusion: you cause chaos for him, he accepts your affections and tolerates you enough to let you be near his personal space.

taglist🏷️ @dove-da-birb @edith-is-apparently-a-cat @cave-of-jade @twistwonderlanddevotee @vioisgoinginsane + idia kissers

remember to reblog is you enjoy my works! ^-^

#irene's writings ♡#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst fluff #twst x reader #idia shroud #twst idia #twisted wonderland idia #idia shroud x reader #twst idia x reader #idia x reader #idia shroud fluff

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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 19 days ago

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Just started playing Pokemon Go again and I was wondering, which of the skeletons would play? What kind of player are they?

Do they really want to catch them all, who’s only after shiny pokemons? Who sucks at it?

Just picturing the lazier ones just going around in a car instead of walking is really funny to me

Love your works, by the way 😘

Undertale Sans - He just started playing and somehow that lucky bastard has only shinies. Papyrus is losing his mind. Sans only has to take two steps out of the house to catch a random shiny Evee, just hanging there. He doesn't understand why everyone is so shocked. Isn't it how you play the game?

Undertale Papyrus - Papyrus has a small huge addiction to the game. He goes to run every morning to catch new Pokemon, he goes to random places the game tells him to go to catch rarer Pokemon and he's determined to catch them all. The problem is that his luck is so bad. He can catch 2000 Rattata in a row but not be able to catch the only different Pokemon showing up because his Pokeballs don't work. He's getting frustrated.

Underswap Sans - Blue is not exactly a good loser. And there's no way this arena is falling into the hands of some kids. His Pokemon are overpowered and he's so proud he's making all the neighborhood's kids give up on the game because it's impossible to beat him. Except that one time someone did and then Blue ragequitted the game, so mad. He reported them just because he could.

Underswap Papyrus - This is not a good game for Honey. Sure, it's fun to see him lazily ride his tricycle in the street looking for Pokemons until he sees one, forgets there's a sidewalk between him and that Pokemon, and then falls head first on the floor. He has the attention span of an oyster and can't drive and catch Pokemons simultaneously.

Underfell Sans - He played once, lost against a Rattata, classified it as "a game for the babies" and never touched it again. He's playing REAL games on his computer, games that he doesn't lose, actually. He loses interest right after for Pokemon Go.

Underfell Papyrus - He doesn't get it. What's the point to capture monsters virtually??? He can do that in real life and way better than these shitty games. Tiny balls to contain a giant whale, really? That's so unrealistic! He's going to show the dev how to capture things properly by capturing them all.

Horrortale Sans - Oh, a pretty bird, he wants that! But... Uh... After catching the pretty bird, he looked up and now he has no idea where the hell he is. Oak completely dissociated while chasing pokemon and now he's just lost in the middle of the forest. Maybe he should call Willow for help. Not sure "there's a tree" is a good indicator of where to search though.

Horrortale Papyrus - The notifications are stressing him and he can't walk too much outside anyway because of his painful back. So he opens the app and prepares to uninstall it. ... Wait, is that a shiny Charizard? OMG! HE NEEDS IT. And here he goes. He wants not to be addicted to that game but that's too late.

Swapfell Sans - Yes, he caught one of these things. Now what? He doesn't understand what is the point of the game. Why would you need to capture virtual creatures again and again? What do you even gain from this? You can't even train your creature properly! What's the point of catching wild animals if you can't use them as weapons? He's confused.

Swapfell Papyrus - Is he the only one realizing that the devilish app is just trying to make him do sports? Because he knows when someone tries to manipulate him. He's definitely not going to walk outside to catch Pokemon, he's taking Nox's car to do it without effort. See? He's more clever than the devs! What are you going to do now?

Fellswap Gold Sans - You think he has time in his day to think about that? Wine played for maybe 10 minutes, got bored, and never touched the app again. He doesn't have time for this and he's judging so hard anyone who has.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He wants to play the game, he really wants to, but his phone is too old to be compatible with the game. Coffee is just lying in bed, head faceplanted in the blanket, so frustrated about that. He's mad. Let him catch Pokemon...

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #sans #papyrus #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

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inor-8 · 21 days ago

Text

Regarding Lily's top 20 Pokemon video (Part 2):

Ok so most of my individual posts from the video are from this section. So, I'm gonna try my best to articulate my thoughts as well as I can.

Again, as much as we disagree with her, all her favourites are valid as everyone deserves an opinion. Even Lily Orchard.

So without further ado....

Number 10: Froslass

Ok so we start her top 10 and how does she begin this section? By complaining about gender specific evolutions, especially, Gallade.

I don't know how but Lily seems to have conjured up this crowd of "90's Pokemon fans" that hate Gardevoir because it's strong and feminine. And also that GameFreak has made Gallade specifically to appease this crowd.

And to that I say: Huh???? Lillian Orchard are you delusional??? As far as I've seen there's no one complaining about Gardevoir's feminity ever! In fact the whole community seems to love it. And you think Gardevoir being male is gonna deter fans? Lily??? Do you know how popular femboys are??? Male Gardevoirs are a treat for them if anything.

And I find it bizarre that she she seems male Gardevoirs can somehow not exist anymore? You do know that getting a Gallade needs a rare evolution stone right?

But moving on from that, let's get to Froslass. Now, as Lily hates gender specific evos, she also initially disliked her. But what made her warm up to the Pokemon is very disturbing to me. She seems to like it because it eats the souls of men. Now, don't get me wrong. She does mention her love for snow and ghosts but still... Hearing her say "It eats men!!!" with such glee is disgusting to me. I always suspected she was like those puritan twitter rad fems but this has just made my suspicions stronger. You really hate men, don't you? You little misandrist!

And what makes me sas is I love Froslass' design and the lore behind it. It's based on a yokai (a supernatural spirit in Japanese folklore) called Yuuki-Onna (snow woman). If you've grown up with Japanese cartoons like Doraemon, Shin-Chan or Ninja Hatori like I did, you'd have seen glimpses of this yokai in the episodes featuring snowstorms.

Yuuki-Onna is the spirit of a woman who died in a snowstorm and now hunts for travels who get lost in the snow. I absolutely love it. I even used it in Platinum and it one-shot Cynthia's Garchomp. It's so sad to see it reduced to "violent man eater".

Anyways moving on...

Number 9: Pidgeot

Now, there's really nothing to say here. She just explains why she likes it and honestly it's a solid mon.

Number 8: Magmortar

Same as Pidgeot, nothing really to day here.

So instead I'll leave you with a fun fact: Magmortar's Japanese name is Booburn.

Number 7: Sceptile

Now, this is where Lily's "I'm not like other girls" attitude shows up again and this time her victim are the other evolved starters of Ash.

I don't know what you've heard Lily but Sceptile is veeery popular and an awesome one of Ash's Pokemon. But you somehow take it not being the second coming of Pikachu as a crime.

She calls Charizard "Mr. Overrated". Cope and seethe, Lily. This is Charizard nation.

And Infernape as an "angry monkey man". Well, Lily as for why Infernape is so popular is because he had a whole arc about him. His initial trainer, Paul abandoning him for being weak, to Ash rescuing and training him, to him defeating Paul and proving his strength. That's why people love Infernape.

As for Greninja, I don't know man I didn't watch that far into the anime. Ask @voidshogun the number one Greninja fanatic.

Number 6: Agron

Now again, nothing out of the ordinary. Except the fact that Lily has only changed her rooster 5 times in 7 generations. Yeah we could tell, Lilian.

Number 5: Lilligant

Now, as is expected of her, Lily shits on gen 5's story. Wow You're so different and cool Lily!

Then, she says that Petlil needed to have an introductory scene like ralts because the whole area was filled with Sewaddle (how dare you belittle sewaddle in your video Lily?!?) And then she complained about a dex entry.

Now here comes another "I'm not like other girls" moment. She mentions how she doesn't use competitively viable Pokemon because she values design and trains her Pokemon like a real trainer should. Wow, Lily? People playing with their favourites? Who would have thought?!? God you're soooo cool!

Number 4: Milotic

Another garbage take of "GameFreak took gen one's shitty edgy adolescent designs and made them better in gen three!" No they didn't Lily, you're hallucinating.

This is where the whole "gyarados is a result of 90's gritty toxic masculinity" take is from. No it isn't, Lily. You purposefully ignore the lore behind these designs and undermine them. God i hate this woman. I've already said what I wanted to about the Gyarados comparison in a previous post, so I'll leave it there.

And then she says she's one of those weirdos that enjoys Pokemon contests. Oh wow! You're so #quirky🤪 for enjoying a feature that is in the game for you to enjoy. Real special thing you've got going on there, Lily.

Number 3: Mismagius

She complains about gen 2. Lily, ma'am you would have gotten to play with Misdreavous in Crystal, if you played fucking Kanto!!!

And then she says what a stubborn little bitch she was for playing competitive with her favourites instead of researching builds....

I'm not even gonna say it this time. How many "I'm not like other girls" moment have we had so far?

Number 2: Butterfree

More of "Oh! She's weak but I love her! Aren't I do different and cool!?"

She actually mentions Madhouse in this segment, so archive this video in case she decides to lie about it and deny she made that too. Not like having proof would make her admit she made it.

Now, to no one's surprise....

Number 1: Gardevoir

Oh I don't have much to say about this one.

Just look at some of my observations from this segment:

(i) Lily can't shut the fuck up about how powerful and mighty and strong Gardevoir is.

(ii) Lily depicts Gardevoir as a monstrous banshee because she's an edgelord and thinks it's cool instead of using it's canon depiction of a loyal protector as pointed out by @manilovescp166 in my asks.

(iii) Lily is so obsessed with Gardevoir that she bases her purchase of a Pokemon game on how easily and early she can get a ralts in said game.

(iv) Lily thinks Gardevoirs as a species have the deepest bonds with their trainers and are the best companions. (Okay, I guess?)

(v) Lily genuinely believes that "She (Gardevoir) is lowkey implied to be the single most powerful Pokemon in existence. Given that they have the ability to create black holes if they're desparate enough." (Sure buddy)

(vi) Lily believes that there's this insecure crowd of Gardevoir haters that hate it because it's feminine. (She made them up in her head)

(vii) Lily thinks it's shiny is bad, also she hates all shinies so there's one consistent thing I guess?

*Sigh* this is genuinely disturbing.... Just how fucking obsessed are you with Gardevoir, Lily?! I don't even have words. Honestly I think the observations are enough to tell you how deranged this woman is when it comes to Gardevoir.

#lily orchard critical #lily orchard #pokemon

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