#ERIN YOU OWN MY HEART

[so-i-did-this-thing]

How it's going as a trans person in Florida: Planned Parenthood, 26Health, and Spektrum Health have announced they have paused all gender affirming care.

To recap, DeSantis signed several anti-trans bills into law this week. Care is banned for minors, care is all but banned for adults, Don't Say Gay has been extended, children can be kidnapped from affirming parents by non-affirming family, and there is a bathroom bill that subjects trans folks to arrest for using government owned facilities, such as those in courthouses, airports, many stadiums and parks.

The adult effective ban was felt immediately. The main elements are:

signing at every visit an in-person informed consent form created by the state

all care come from physicians instead of nurse practitioners

no telemed for gender-affirming care

Currently, it is unknown if existing HRT prescriptions written by NPs will be honored by pharmacies. I personally know one person who was able to pick up testosterone yesterday, but I have also read many reports of folks being denied. I myself don't have a refill ready for another 10 days and will report back after I try my own pickup.

What's additionally dangerous is those of us, myself included, who get non-HRT prescriptions from our gender clinics now face the uncertainty of continuing of *all* of our medical care. Our health clinics are at risk of shuttering permanently as they lose major income, and many of us will lose STD meds, depression meds, heart meds, etc, etc.

When we say "this will kill us," it goes beyond suicide risk from forced detransition.

"But you can still get HRT from a physician."

So many suck or are outright hostile and the demand outstrips the supply. Before I found my NP-run clinic, one physician just decided to not call in my Rx, another was so shit at reading lab results, he thought I had hepatitis, and the third I had to threaten to kick in the teeth for trying to force too large a speculum in me.

Also, the state-required consent form has not been finalized and distributed yet, so at this point, everything has pretty much ground to a halt.

It was estimated that 80% of trans adults would lose their healthcare because of how many use providers like Planned Parenthood, but the impact seems even greater now.

"You can get your non-gender care elsewhere still."

DeSantis recently signed a bill that allows healthcare professionals to discriminate against trans people.

Sure, we can try to find care elsewhere, but it will be a slow and expensive process, with no guarantees. It took me over 20 years to get my heart condition treated because of transphobic doctors.

What can I do as a trans Floridian?

Stay in communication with your clinic - many are working on getting physicians added to the roster to prescribe HRT. Lawsuits are being filed and it's possible the changes to adult care can be rolled back.

Continue to try to pick up your meds, but begin looking for care elsewhere, though. Inside and outside the state.

Remember that while telemed for gender affirming care has been banned, you can still cross state lines for care. See Erin's map of informed consent clinics.

Many people will turn to DIY, but be sure you are aware of the risks here, especially if on testosterone, which is a controlled substance.

What should I be worried about next as a trans Floridian?

I worry about the following next steps towards genocide:

Banning getting care out of state. This is from the anti-abortion playbook. They will likely start with kids again, but we've seen how quickly adult care gets axed.

Being declared mentally incompetent or a risk in some way. This could be anything from being barred from gun ownership to not being allowed to work for the government.

Being declared a de facto predator. This has already happened with the latest bathroom law (cis people can eject trans people from government owned single-gender facilities, with arrest as a penalty), so watch out for it being applied to privately-owned facilities. Watch for discussions of official lists of trans people.

Gender presentation enforcement laws, essentially banning "cross dressing". Laws that block or rollback documentation changes.

These all have historic precedence and are huge "I'm in danger" red flags.

What can I do as a cis person?

Amplify all this news. Talk frankly about how this is genocide. And donate what you can to trans mutual aid campaigns so people can travel to get healthcare or even leave the state.

Here's some articles to get started on building awareness:

Take care, everyone, of yourself and each other.

[darlingillustrations]

My name is Erin Darling, and I’m a queer watercolor artist form Tacoma, WA. I paint original anthropomorphic characters and storybook scenes. Or I used to. Then the pandemic happened, and it hit me kinda hard. I couldn’t paint for a couple years, and I spent all my creative energy writing fanfic and roleplaying on discord servers.

I am finally starting to make art again, and I want to share my art here, but I only have, like, 17 friends following this account.

Evidence of my 17 friends:

So I thought: what the heck? Why not do a tumblr blaze and see what happens??

Please come be a part of my art with me, especially because I am doing something very new. I took my newfound love of writing and my old love of storybooks and I’ve been trying to make something I haven’t done before: my very own story that I am writing and illustrating.

Allow me to introduce you to Calico Jill and the Search for Cheese, a story about a little pirate who goes on a big adventure in a new city, in search of the tastiest of golden treasures: cheese! The story is a little bit about food deserts and a lot a bit about hope. She runs into obstacles and makes friends along the way. And I’d love to share her story with you! A new chapter is coming out each month, and you can read the first two chapters here:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Please give me a follow and share any of the art on my blog that resonates with you. I really want to create heartfelt queer art that is a part of a community. I want my stories to touch your heart and strengthen you.

[buzzinrusso]

Erin cuthburt×reader🙏

I WOULD NEVER //ERIN CUTHBURT

Genre:angst/fluff at the end

Prompt:you and your long term girlfriend, Erin, get into a very heated fight which results to her walking out of your house and you misunderstanding the situation.

--------------------------------------------------

"You don't get it! you never will! " Erin yelled in frustration as she paces around the room looking at a very irritated you.

"Okay! I get that but you are my girlfriend! I can't see you bury yourself with all the training sessions, workouts, photoshoots and more! " your eyes welled up with tears as you spoke. "So you know how embarrassing it is to be stood up by your own girlfriend in front of your family?! "

You're talking about the incident that occurred earlier today.

You and Erin were supposed to meet your parents and siblings for lunch, Erin had 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 you that she would show up, not wanting to stand you up another time.

Obviously that promise was broken, which lead to the heated argument you were currently having.

"How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry! I've apologized a million times already!" She said with her thick accent that came out when she was angry.

"Erin, that wasn't the only time you've stood me up. I'm your girlfriend for God's sake! You can't keep doing shit like this! You broke your promise, you said that you would go but you didn't! And you didn't even text me to say that you're not gonna be coming! I had to sit there like a fool with my family, assuring them that your were probably late! "

"Oh my gosh! So what if I broke my promise? Get fucking over it " she let out a sigh of irritation and started walking away towards your shared room.

"Don't you walk away from me! We are having this conversation now! " you started fully on crying.

You were sick of getting g stood up, you were sick of being embarrassed whenever Erin promised to show up but didn't, but in the end, you love Erin with your entire heart, too much to leave her as you fully believed that you would never have survived your dark days without her.

That's why you panicked when you spotted Erin getting her shows from the closet.

"Are you leaving? " your voice quited down a little

"I cant fucking do this anymore! " she yelled before she stormed out of the house.

Your heart stopped as you watched the scene unfold. Did you just lose the love of your life? Did she just walk out on you? She probably won't be returning.

Your mind immediately went to the worst possible answers. You didn't know what to do as sobs racked through your body, you didn't mean to lose Erin. You really didn't.

In reality you hadn't lost Erin, you just misunderstood the situation, but you didn't know that yet.

Your body involuntarily slipped down the white walls of your shared-not shared?- house.

The thoughts of her moving out, breaking up with you and dating someone else intoxicated your mind. You hated it.

Of course your mind went to those places. Whose mind wouldn't when their significant other yells out that they 'can't do this anymore' after an argument and walks out?

After about 45 minutes of sobbing, Erin finally went back to the house. With flowers in one and and her phone in the other, Erin went into the house only to be greeted by eerie silence.

Only did she hear the sounds of your muffled sobs coming from the bedroom did that silence break.

She quickly sprinted up to your room and when's he opened the door, she was greeted by you lying face down on the bed sobbing your heart out into the tear stained pillow.

She immediately raced to your side, making you flinch at the sudden contact and jolt up from the place where you were lying down.

You sniffles quieted down when you saw her sitting on the edge of the bed with a concerned look on her perfect face.

The sight of her made you calm down slightly.

"Why are you crying? I'm so sorry for making you cry baby, I swear I didn't mean to my love. I'm so so so sorry. " her words were rushed out as she pulled you into a hug that you melted into, but were clearly filled with concern for you. Her eyes proved that.

"I thought you broke up with me. " she barely get out because of your strained voice.

"I would never. I don't think k I'd ever survive if not for you. I'm so sorry I'm made you think that way but I assure you that I will never leave you. Not now nor anytime in the future. " she said as she began to tear up too. She couldn't handle seeing you cry, whenever you cried she did too.

It was the same way that some people had contagious smiles that you had a contagious cry.

"Then why did you say that you couldn't do this anymore and walk out? "

"I meant that I couldn't stay in the house anymore, I'm sorry baby I should've worded better, and as for the walking g put part, I. Needed a break so I walked around the area a little and got you flowers, ready to apologize. " she explained to you and to say that the new revelation was reliving to you would be an understatement.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm should've been more considerate , I should've never stood you up all those times and I'm sorry for every single thing that I did to make you upset. From now on, I swear that I will keep all of my promises and with that, I promise you to never ever purposely let a tear she'd form those pretty eyes of yours. "She then wiped the tears off of your eyes and proceeded to place kisses all over your face, making a slight smile breakout on your face.

And she did. Erin kept her promise in the future.

[slutforwholesomeness]

Mindless Pleasure

CW: CNC, edging, hypnosis, TFxM

Laying on her bed, Erin eagerly waits for her boyfriend to pick up the phone. They've been in a long-distance relationship for a year, but she still gets butterflies at the thought of hearing his voice. The ping of him joining the call makes her smile, as his voice comes through her headphones.

"Well hello, is this the pretty girl hotline?"

She can't help but giggle. It's a line she's already heard a dozen times, but he delivers it so sincerely it almost makes her blush.

"Yeah it is sir, how may I help you today?" she replies, trying to hide the smile in her voice.

"Well, I was hoping to speak to the prettiest girl of them all? I think her name was Erin? She's got a super pretty voice, and she's so cute, and she's got such a hot body..."

Erin squeals a little at the praise, trying to ignore the neediness building between her legs with each compliment. "Tobyyyyyyy, stoppppppp!"

He chuckles on the other end of the phone, his voice a husky purr in her ears

"So adorable... I love you so much, sweetheart~"

Erin bites her lip. Gosh, even his pet names make her heart flutter...

"Yeah well, I love you too!" she declares back, the stress of work today sliding off her shoulders a little. She feels so safe with him, and so beautiful... Something must have changed in her voice, because his next question is dripping with lewd intent.

"Baby, you sound a little stressed... would you like me to hypnotize you?"

She shivers. Hypnosis had always been a more niche kink of hers, but Toby absolutely loved it. He'd sent her a file that helped her sleep, but she suspected that it was also planting triggers deep inside her head. God, she hoped he was planting triggers deep inside her head...

"Yes..." she whispers, rubbing her thighs together.

"Good..." His voice is hushed, whispering seductively. This is the voice he used to hypnotize her, and her body knows it. Her clit twitches and she obeys his commands as he gives them "... now get comfortable for me, and close your eyes... let your breathing slip into a deep, even pattern, whatever is most comfortable..." It's almost instinct at this point. Her head feels light and fuzzy, and he begins to relax her body. "Focus on my voice... just like that..."

It feels so good to obey his commands. It makes her feel owned, in the best way. And he begins to drop her into trance.

"My voice is like a warm, weighted blanket... it wraps around your body, holding you down, so heavy, but comfortable... and while it pins you down, it squeezes alllll the tension out of your muscles... no more tension, no more stress, no more worries... and despite this heavy, warm weighted blanket, letting go of that stress makes your body feel so light and floaty..."

Her head is fuzzy. That means it's working for sure. She listens to his words, drifting away as the warm, comfortable sensation glides up her body, from her toes to her heels, heels to knees, knees to thighs, thighs to... waist... to chest... to shoulders... to... neck... to...

"Drop Deep"

...

Erin shakes her head sleepily. A glance at her phone tells her it's been twenty minutes. She lets out a soft moan.

"Darling? Are you there?" Toby asks.

Erin nods groggily "Mhm..."

"And how do you feel?"

Erin blinks, waking up more with each passing second. She feels sleepy, but also...

"H-horny" she gasps "horny and n-needy..."

Toby giggles. "Yeah? Needy? Does my needy puppy want her vibe?"

Moaning, Erin almost falls off her bed, scrambling to reach her hush. She grabs it, then slides the vibrator into her panties, positioning it against her clit just right...

"Please, please, I'm ready..." she begs, and he answers her pleas with a steady, pulsing pattern that makes her squirm and pant. For a minute, they both just bask in it, their dominance and submission perfectly intertwined as Erin's gasps get increasingly heated. "M-more, please turn it uppppp Master..." She whines. Toby obliges with a small giggle.

"So desperate... you're a needy slut, aren't you?" Her moan is the only reply he needs, sliding the pattern up from low to medium, the Lovense buzzing louder. Erin has to cover her mouth to stop her loud moans from leaking past her fingers, but GODS why did this feel so good today?

"Now darling, I'm going to say something very important, so it's means a lot if you'd listen to me, okay?"

Erin nods, then moans, then lets out a quiet noise of affirmation. Toby's voice cuts through the pleasure, through the noise in her mind, reaching something deep inside.

"Good Bimbo~"

With those two words, her brain goes blank. Her hips buck into the endless buzzing pleasure, trapped between her panties and her drooling clit, and it's all she knows. Everything is bliss. Everything is pleasure. Her mind is totally empty. She giggles between moans, but it's still not enough. "M-m-moreeeeee~" the Good Bimbo groans. And Master gives her more, forcing her to the brink of orgasm is seconds as the vibrator ramps up.

All she does for a moment is gasp and squirm, before words blurt from her lips. "Close, close, I'm close, Master I'm closeeeeeeee~"

And the vibe shuts off, leaving the pretty bimbo edged and dumb and drooling. Master whispers to her, telling her what a Good Bimbo she is, and how happy she makes him. He asks if she wants to be edged again and she giggles.

"Lyke, yeah! But uhm, only lyke, one more time? Uhm, yes please master!" The uncontrollable bout of giggles that leaves her lips feels so right, as does Master responding in her ear, reminding her what a Good Bimbo she is, before the vibe turns back on, nice and high. She reaches edge in no time, begging and panting for him to turn it down, she's so close, so so close Masterrrrr, and he does as she asks. And he explains something for her.

"Now, you said just one more edge? Are you ready for one more edge?"

Something inside her silly brain didn't think that was right, so she told him, but Master just laughed it off. "You're just a Good Bimbo, remember? Let me be the smart one, you're too pretty to be smart~" He was right, of course, she was sooooo pretty, and that makes her sooooo dumb. She giggles, so glad that Master can tell her what to do, as the vibe starts up again.

...

Just... just one more time... the bimbo reminds herself, as another edge buries her mind in pleasure. Just... one more edge... Master's voice interrupts all her dumb, bimbo thoughts, and her clit twitches in response.

"You've been such a Good Bimbo for me... I think you deserve your reward... my Good Girl~'

Oh gods, those words... It felt like an electric current of pure pleasure just surged through her body. Her dumb clit spurts out another few drops of pre, expanding the damp spot on her panties. She gasps in mindless bliss. And the vibe starts up again, barely. The speed is slow, weak teasing pulses to really melt her into a messy little pet for Master... All the while, he whispers delicate triggers in her ears, "Good Bimbo, what a Good Girl, you're such a Good Bimbo, my Good Girl~"

The praise and triggers and vibe slowly get louder, and her minds gets messier, one thought slipping into her empty head. Good Girls don't cum... without permission. So as the edge approaches again, she begs and babbles and whimpers, oh PLEASE Master, please let me cum I've been so good, such a Good Bimbo and such a Good Girl and I need to cum I'm so needy I know I'm a slut so just let me cum, let me cum, LET ME CUMMMM, and Master's voice purrs back, that she's right, she's been a VERY Good Girl and so she should cum, cum for me, cum right now, that's it, Good Girl, cum for me, cum for Master, and now the vibe is on full intensity, her legs are shaking and her clit is aching from so much edging but she cums, her dumb clit drooling all over itself as the sensation of finally cumming blanks her mind entirely and...

...

She comes back to her senses begging him to turn the vibe off, her overstimulated clitty can't take any more, and her sweet, kind, wonderful Master turns it down, then off completely, and the compliments start flooding in, of how well she did, how proud he is. Despite the distance, she can feel his arms around her, snuggling her until her mind is less fuzzy, and she can think for herself again. Master becomes Toby in her thoughts again, as they exchange "I love you"s and kisses in her blissful afterglow. Everything is okay. Everything is alright. Go grab a drink of water sweetheart, we can keep talking when you get back. As she leaves the call to get a drink and clear her fuzzy head, she smiles, and giggles, and knows that she's truly found her soulmate ❤️

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (x) - pt 1 pt 2 p3 p4 p5 p6 p7 p8 p9

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : after three resentful weeks apart, only matt and y/n could find themselves more fond of each other.

warnings : angst, fluffy, mentions of alcohol and weed, sort of proofread

mickey speaks : THANK U FOR UR PATIENCE SWEET ANGELS HERE’S THE 10TH PART FOR YOU!!! tgwtt is already in double digits 🥹 only like 8 more parts to go

THIS IS PART TEN GO READ THE OTHERS FIRST PLEASE!!!

"COME on y/n we'll have so much fun!"

you haven't had a night out in weeks.

following matt's party, you swore off alcohol until your own birthday in mid-september, afraid of the amount you'd allow yourself to consume now that you're feelings are supremely hurt and bitterness coated your tongue.

it was difficult to turn down the first week, despite the smell and taste of any drink making your stomach turn you craved the drunken effect and secretly wanted to run into matt- just to see what he'd have the nerve to say to you. but the mature, wiser part of your brain knows there is nothing good to come from spiteful drinking. so you've declined every weekend.

you know in your heart that your friends only want you to feel good and have fun with them. it's the only reason you've tolerated this current conversation for so long.

"i believe you! but i'm just saying i'll have just as much fun with this bowl of strawberries and my bed," you reach into a cabinet for one of the many off-white glass bowls.

"baby you haven't been out with us in so long, we miss you!" remi beams kicking her legs as she sits atop your counter, fully dressed and decorated for her night out (contrasting the bare face, oversized tee, and panties you wear).

you sigh and look over to the three girls huddled in your kitchen, "no, you guys know 'm not drinking right now," you shake your head and push off of the counter heading towards the fridge in search of your berries.

"i'm just confused on why you're suddenly so strict on drinking? and regardless of the drinking you could have fun without it if you loosen up a bit..." erin replies while resting her body against the wall next to remi's spot.

you roll your eyes while your face is still in your fridge before shutting it back, "i don't understand what's not clicking erin, i don't want to go out at all! i want to stay at home and be away from drunk people and watch something brainless and then i wanna go take a fucking bath. i'm so tired of having to explain and repeat myself. please go, please have a good time, and please- respectfully, mind your business."

you run water over your strawberries and andrea's eyes widen as she turns back towards the counter to pour herself another shot.

"alright, whatever.” erin shakes her head, “dre, remi, i'm gonna go wait outside this is annoying. she can stay bitter," she walks out and whispers, "bitch," under her breath before shutting the door.

it's silent for a second as you begin to harshly cut the stems off of the fruit, remi comes behind you and wraps a caring arm over your shoulder for a hug, "are you okay?"

"yes, i'm fine, you can go have fun..." you turn to face her and offer a strawberry.

"i really do miss you,” you kisses your shoulder and bites into the strawberry, “love you," she reminds you as she grabs her bag and dismisses herself to check with erin. you nod your head and continue to stare blankly as you repeatedly cut.

andrea speaks up after hearing the door fully shut. she breathes heavily as she stares down at her hands on the counter, "cariña ("honey"), you’re not a bitch.”

“i know…” your voice is small.

“i know you do. i also know something’s hurting you badly right now and i selfishly wish you’d fucking tell me so i could help.” she licks her glossed lips, “but as long as you’re being kind to yourself, i can deal with you keeping this to yourself.”

your eyes brim with salty tears and when you let out a broken sniffle she's immediately by your side. "nooo don’t cry, i’m already pre-drunk! you know i will too!" you try to continue preparing your fruit but andrea turns your body to make room for a warm hug. you're quick to tuck your face into her perfumed neck and let out your feelings through cry's.

you had always thought that what andrea (or anyone) didn't know about your sex life with matt wouldn't kill her, but quite frankly it's killing you. you want to tell her everything he’s ever made you feel- for all andrea knows matt was once a silly crush and currently a little less than a friend to you.

but at the same time you just know she would tell you to stop seeing him if she knew everything. she would remind you that at your core you are far too caring and attached to handle recurring casual sex with him in the first place.

"i'm so sorry, drea. i really wanna tell you but i’m not ready." you croak pitifully.

not ready to accept the embarrassment of wanting him to like you this bad.

and for someone as willingly vulnerable as you, you’re especially not ready to hear her scold you a little for somehow hurting your own feelings and putting your friendship with erin on a thin line over some guy.

your words only confuse her brain more, but she can only continue to rub circles into your back and silently pray you didn’t do something illegal or, like, morally cruel.

౨ৎ

matt would love to say he hasn’t thought about you since you bitched out on him the night of his birthday, but he could never just blatantly lie.

he can say he has gone the past few weeks without reaching out to you- which mostly speaks to both of your stubbornness and pride.

in fact, you’re part of his reason for having his own night in tonight- though it’s far less sadistic of a reason than yours. he’s simply grown bored of the repetitive night life he and his friends have.

you were always there for him to tease and secretly fuck around with whenever your friend groups would combine for the night. but as of late he’s left sitting at the bar swigging down beers and scrolling on his phone (sometimes he’d get irrationally irritated at you for not posting on your instagram or snapchat stories, feeling a as if it was a direct punishment to remove him from knowing any details about your life) or until the rest of the group throw the towel in.

on the worst and most irritating of nights he’ll take an uber home by himself. and those were the nights he would get so close to being irrational- showing up to your house and confronting you was oh so enticing. but he’d talk himself out of it and go home to fuck his fist like you’d probably tell him to do.

and on the most horny and pathetic of nights he'd end up in the backseat of his car finger-fucking erin with her tongue in his mouth. it ended at that though, matt's skin started to crawl thinking of when you rode him in the front seat not too long ago. he had pinched his eyes shut and pulled erin's hands away from his zipper, swaying her with some sweet "i just wanted to make you feel good s’all" and a kiss before she left and he awkwardly drove himself home- pondering how little self control he had to be desperate enough to do even get that far.

so, he didn’t even bother to go out tonight. when chris and nick asked him through his closed door, he told them he’ll stay in for some “peace and quiet.” really, he just couldn’t stand to be disappointed by the guaranteed lack of you being there.

he sits in his desk chair, legs spread casually, and sketchbook held against his thigh as he scribbles around to formulate a few rough outlines for upcoming clients. somewhere in the mix he begins to sketch out a familiar cartoon cat, which only irritates him and makes him close the book abruptly, shoving it into his desk’s drawer.

matt rubs his hands over his face a few times and lifts himself from the chair, heading straight for his bedside table. he bites at his lips while digging through the drawer, eventually finding the pretty red hot blunt you rolled and gifted him.

he makes his way out to the patio, not bothering to turn the outdoor lights on; blunt, lighter, and phone in tow. he slouches into one of the many chairs near the glass door and places the blunt between his lips, shuffling as he digs in his back pocket for his lighter.

the spark of the bright flame highlights his focused face for only a few seconds while he pricks the end of the misshapen yet smoothly rolled blunt. he breathes in the smoke immediately, throwing the lighter onto a table nearby. he tilts his backwards to blow out swirls of smoke above him.

matt initially wants to wait to call you until he feels high enough, mostly to give him an excuse for calling in the first place because he knows you’ll be expecting one. but he can't fucking wait, he wants to know what you're doing right now.

matt continues to effortlessly inhale and exhale several hits as he searches his phone for your contact.

his thumb hovers over the dull button that would change a lot for him. calling you means looking like a dumbass, as if he can't handle not knowing you (apparently he can’t but he wouldn’t admit to it). calling you means he’s breaking this implied break up- for complete lack of better terms.

but who’s to say you’ll even answer and give him a chance to do any of that? and suddenly his phone is vibrating in his hand as he raises it to his ear.

it takes four rings for you to answer, though you're completely silent on the other end. he waits and you wait. he truly didn’t think this far ahead. you only give him a few extra seconds to be silent before you hang up all together.

matt kisses his teeth and redials. when you eventually answer again he speaks through the smoke in his lungs, "hi. why'd you hang up?"

"matt, don't call my phone and expect me to speak to you first." your voice has a bite to it that still surprises matt a little. it's so infrequent for you to be harsh or upset (as long as matt has known you, you've been nothing but cheerful and well… sunny) that it's oddly pleasant to see how you handle negative emotions- it reminds him that you’re not always good, something he’d always weirdly envied about you.

he releases more smoke in the air around him, "my bad, sweetheart."

"just tell me why you’re calling. are you drunk or ...?"

"no. i just wanted to know what you're doing."

you sigh heavily, "why does that concern you...?"

his eyes pinch as he stares out into the dark backyard, "why're you bein' so difficult? 'm just trying t-"

"matt. get there, please." you rush, though you secretly are enjoying hearing his voice and the romanticized idea that he must care a little if he’s reaching out again.

“yeah.” he takes a breath, “i don’t know. i’m just, like, here…by myself, and i wanted to remember what you sounded like.”

you smirk to yourself but drop it immediately, “okay…well, this is what i sound like.”

“yes, so soothing, i could fall asleep right here,” you can hear him audibly stretch.

“oh, i’m putting you to sleep?” you tease.

“yeah, i need you to come over and wake me up,” he inhales once more.

you’re silent and he breathes out again, “fuck was that too much- i’m sorry.”

“definitely. i need you to calm down, sir.”

“oh i’m so calm, baby,” he moans out playfully.

“matt, i’ll hang up-”

“woah! let’s not make such rash decisions?!”

“okay then.”

“thank you for answering,” his voice is muffled, “you could’ve blocked me- i talked to you so crazy that night and i do feel bad about, i want you to know.” he pauses and you silently process as he continues to compliment you, “you’re the only woman besides, like, my mother, who is just classy as fuck and way too kind to everyone whether they deserve it or not.”

you could never have expected to hear any words of admiration from matt in regards to you. “oh my god, are you near a couple of trees right now? how’d you get so sappy all of a sudden?”

matt takes a second to register your joke before his entire face crinkles and he shakes his head, giggling, “bad joke. such a bad joke.”

you let yourself laugh a little as well before pulling together, “thank you for apologizing, i honestly didn’t expect that from you.”

“well i don’t hand them out like that so i guess you’re lucky or something.”

“i guess i am…” you smile into your words a little.

“what have you been doing?”

“like the past few weeks or right now?”

“i was talking about right now but you can say both.”

“just was checking! i don’t want to talk to much, i know you’d hate to listen to it.”

“heyyy! really? throwin’ some shit i just told you i didn’t mean right in my face like that?”

“i’m sorry i had to!”

“you were holding on to that one, huh?”

“just a little.”

“okay, tell me everything and i’ll listen.”

“i know i made it seem like i’ve been doing a lot but i’ve honestly just been working a bunch. it’s not as much of a nightmare as it sounds though- working long shifts has helped me fall asleep quicker. i’ve also started cooking a lot more whenever im bored which andrea looooves. and… um, right now i’m taking a bath.”

matt’s eyes widen and he chuckles, “dammit! i knew i should’ve facetimed instead!”

you bite your lip to hold back a laugh yourself, “what are you doing, matt?”

“guess.”

“i mean, i know you’re smoking but you could be in a random bedroom at a party or like, at some other bitch’s house…i don’t know, i’m just guessing!”

“never that,” he laughs- which you can’t decipher as a sarcastic or genuine one -and explains further, “‘m at home, outside with that perfect little blunt you made.”

“oh, for real?”

“uh huh, she’s treating me real good.”

“i’m glad. can you finish telling me how you’ve been?”

“yeah, um-”

“mattttt!” a very drunk nick suddenly yells while sliding open the glass door.

matt literally jumps and is immediately annoyed, you can hear it in his voice despite it being muffled now, “dude, you scared the shit out of me! what do you need?”

“hello to you too, ugh, i forgot you’re all moody right now. what are you even doing it’s all dark and shit?” nick hangs on the door has he peeks outside.

matt gets up to close the door again, “mind your business, nick. move, you’re in the way.”

“hmm, you are so weird.” nick squints his eyes and turns away yelling chris’ name in a blood curdling scream (for absolutely no reason besides the fact that he thought it’d be funny to see chris drunkenly run into the living room).

“hey, you still there?”

“mhm, yes”

“nick and chris just got back from the bar so i’ll have to help them chill out, um, yeah. i wanna hang out again. not even just to fuck if you aren’t cool with that yet, if we can be friends around our friends we can be friends by ourselves.”

friends? you and matt? hm. “that’d be nice, do you wanna just come over like usual?”

“i mean i could but we can do whatever you want, seems like you’ve been home a lot so, you know.” his voice gets more distracted as he speaks

“okay, i’ll let you know. good night.”

“sounds good, sweetheart.”

౨ৎ

MATT - 6:30 PM

Are you done yet?

Y/N - 6:52 PM

yes i’m coming now

-

“i’m sorry again for keeping you so late y/n, you really didn’t have to stay and help me close!” your coworker, angela, beams as she follows you out of the back door with a trash bag.

“don’t worry about it,” you smile to her as you walk with her to the large dumpster on the side of the building.

she throws a bag the size of her torso into the bin with a mumble of ‘ew’ before turning to you, “don’t say that! i know you have that date thing tonight, i don’t want you to be late.”

“i told you it’s not a date! we’re hanging out as friends.”

she rolls her eyes while putting her travel sized hand sanitizer back into her purse, “y/n don’t start with that…it’s totally a date from what you’ve told me.”

you both continue to walk towards the back parking lot,“trust me, he’s made it clear he’s not that kind of guy.”

“then why waste your time?”

right when you go to defend yourself you hear a car door shut, drawing your attention to the man of the hour, who’s locking the doors of his sleek black suv as his jaw works a minty piece of gum.

his black tee exposes his tattoos and his jean shorts are held up with his favorite black belt. you can see his light eyes are squinted due to the sun’s undying brightness from where you stand.

angela turns to you with a full smirk and softly slaps your arm, whispering and giggling, “girl, he’s hot!”

“oh my god!” you have an uncontrollable smile as you look at her, “stop it!” you look over again and this time matt is leaning against his car, ready to catch your eye and send you a wave of his fingers with his eyebrows raised.

you wave back then turn away once more, “‘kay i should probably go but i’ll see you wednesday, right?” you lean in for a hug.

“yes i’ll be here,” she smiles into the embrace as you kiss into the air to the side of her head, “you’ll have to give me all the deets!”

“mhm,” you hum as you both part ways, “bye ang!”

you approach matt without any rush and he takes the time to gaze over your complexion (far more radiant than the last time he’d seen you) and the way your mini jean skirt compliments the blushed red top you’re wearing. “hi sunny,” he grins and reaches a hand out to bring you into a hug, only for you to set the handle of your small purse in it. he kisses his teeth playfully, “it’s still like that, huh?”

“like what?” you condescendingly look up at him.

“alright, girl,” he dismisses, “where are we goin?“

“it’s a surprise for a reason matt!”

“okay… then i’m assuming you’ll drive?”

“not exactly..” you spin on your heel and walk away from him as a hint to follow you.

he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you walk down the busy sidewalk, he gives a couple of glances down at your phone while also navigating the two of you. “metro?” he reads aloud.

“mhm,” you reply and smile to yourself while adding the tickets to your apple wallet.

“wow, you really planned this shit out.”

“i’ve never half-assed something in my life,” you say as you both stop at a cross walk.

“never? you have a brother, right?” he asks and you nod, “i’m sure he’d be able to come up with something.”

“probably,” you shrug and grab his wrist when the walking sign lights. “we’re gonna make it just in time, the bus comes at 7:10.”

౨ৎ

the seating on the bus is comfortably squished; you sit in the window seat and matt next to you, moving his limbs inward to give room to those walking in the isle.

you reapply a faded shade of red, black cherry to your lips while using your phone camera. matt watches with his lips pursed in awe. “that shade looks nice on you,” he says softly.

you’re already feeling giddy internally and he’s forcing you to blow your unbothered cover at this point, “thank you,” you smile and turn to see him already close to your face, looking at your eyes then lips. you just have to close the space by giving him a small kiss, mumbling, “it looks good on you too, see,” you move your phone so that he can see his lips outlined with the stain of you.

he laughs and pouts his lips while checking himself out in your camera, making the risky move to take a photo of himself, before giving your cheek a kiss.

౨ৎ

“jesus, for forty fucking minutes you better have brought me to an all inclusive resort!” matt complains while dramatically stretching his back.

the sun was now peeking down and the flashing lights of santa monica pier were extra enticing. “stop, we’re gonna have so much fun! look!” you point at the energetic strip with a childish grin.

“alright, let’s go then,” he tilts his head towards the fair.

౨ৎ

“definitely could have gone without that last ride- wayyy too many dips,” matt holds his stomach dramatically.

“i could tell, you were screamin’ like crazy,” you smirk as the two of you stand in the line at one of the many food trucks. two hours into being there and you’ve rode almost all of the rides, it was expected for matt to ask to stop for some sort of food eventually.

“barely.” he rolls his eyes, “what do you want?”

“i’ll have a water and one of those bomb pops,” you tell him.

“that’s not really food, are you gonna be good with that for right now?” he clarifies.

“yes, matt. thank you,” you smile and matt waves you off as he approaches the tall window to order.

“hey, what’s up man? i’ll just have a water, one of those fourth of july a bomb pops, medium fry and a modelo in a can please,” he flashes a smile and pays quickly.

you thank him and the cashier as you take hold of the items you asked for. “can we go walk on the beach?” you ask him.

“yeah, it’ll be dark as shit, but yeah,” he responds lightly and shoves a few fries into his mouth.

౨ৎ

“when i was younger my mom would bring me and my brother to the pier every summer since i was seven maybe?” the waves crash softly in the background as matt lays between your legs, despite the scratchy denim of your skirt. “when i was eleven my brother would want to go off with his friends in high school and my mom wasn’t a fan of the rides, so she would bring me to walk on the beach with her instead.” you recall out loud after matt had asked what made you want to come here today.

“mmm, reminds me of east coast beaches when i was a kid. we’d make a whole day out of it and pack up my mom’s minivan.” you stretch his scalp hypnotically, “just being rowdy and annoying as hell on the ride there and sleeping on the way back. being a kid is, like, the best and we never realize it when we’re there.”

“isn’t it kind of sweet that we don’t? kids don’t even understand the concept of missing childhood or being nostalgic until they’re older. if eight year old me were constantly dwelling on what’s passed i know she’d go insane. i mean, even now, everyone is always chasing previous feelings and never fully in tune with the one present.” you look out at the waves that softly build up and crash repeatedly.

matt licks his lips and opens his eyes, sitting up from your lap, “holy shit, sunny,” he kisses you and pulls away to laugh, “you just made me sound like a dumbass.”

he keeps a hold of your face, “matt you’re not dumb, everyone is nostalgic for something,” you kiss him again to seal your words.

matt pulls away and you stands up and begin to remove your shirt leaving you in a lacy bra, “come on,” you tilt your head and matt immediately stands up to cover you.

“the fuck do you mean, ‘come on’?” he starts to laugh while looking around for anyone around.

you roll your eyes at his protection and unbutton your skirt, “take a dip with me.”

“no?! y/n, that water is freezing...”

you pull down your pants to reveal a small pair of matching lacy panties that matt can barely see in the dark but he just knows would send him over the edge.

“matttt,” you pout and bring his hands to your exposed ass, lifting his chin to capture his lips in your own, “please?” you look up at him.

he pinched his eyes shut, “baby, put your clothes back on…”

“alright be lame,” you take his hands off of you and run into the empty beach with a freeing laugh.

matt stands there, not wanting to yell and draw attention to you both, but also not wanting to freeze to death.

“matt! the water’s not even that cold, come here!” you exclaim, wading in the shallow water.

“no, i’ll just wait here until you’re done cooling off…”

“matt, please! what if i-” you pretend to fall backwards and start to fake a drowning scene that has him undressing to his boxers quickly.

he ignores the rush in his blood from the surprise of the water’s temperature in favor of getting you out of there. he calls your name over and over, the pitch black look of the ocean doing absolutely nothing to help.

he’s pretty freaked out when you come back up and jump on his back yelling, “you saved me! you saved me!” with a cackle.

matt immediately groans and slaps the water, “fuck you, why would you ever do some shit like that?!”

you giggle and he throws you off his back easily, turning around to be face to face with you as you wipe your eyes, “oh my god matt, my mascara’s gonna run!”

“maybe we should think of these things before running into the ocean?”

you stop wiping underneath your eyes to forcefully push him under the water, giggling at the sound of the crash and his “don’t-!” right before.

“no more,” he spits out water and scolds you when he comes back up, inching closer to you and holding you by your hips as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“okay,” you agree and go to kiss his wet face just as he quickly unhooks you and throws you back under.

“matt!” you squeal as you resurface to hear him laughing, “dude, i’m gonna kill you.”

“truce, truce, truce!” he repeats and backs away from you.

“yeah, you better run,” you threaten.

౨ৎ

“your eyelashes are like sooo long when they’re wet,” you compliment as you stare at matt under the moon’s light.

he pulls you closer him to stop his mouth from chattering due to the cold, “i’ll give you my lash routine,” he jokes.

“i realized something when we got off the phone the other day,” you bring up, as your eyes run over each of his facial features.

“tell me,” he rolls his icy lips into his mouth.

“i never said sorry for being nasty to you on your birthday.”

matt’s eyes squint, “it’s fine, i’m not hung up on that shit. we said we’re good, right?”

“yes, but-”

“alright then,” he shrugs and squeezes your ass in reassurance.

a smile graces your face and and you let your head fall to his shoulder, whispering, “matt…i’m cold now.”

“i’ve been waiting for you to say that, oh my god!”

౨ৎ

you both suffer as you put your clothes back on over your wet skin. you’re both chattering messes and simply cannot stop laughing about it as you make your way back to the boardwalk’s strip of raging bright lights.

you don’t get far before you’re begging matt to win you an oversized faux fur leopard print coat, “it’s just what i need, please!”

and he’s spent almost two twenties replaying this stupid game over and over again. you’re a pretty good cheerleader though.

“come on matt, you got it this time! no pressure! it’s only like i’m dying of hypothermia!” he deadpans as he looks over to you, “what?”

it was a simple game of ring toss- that was most definitely rigged, but besides you reminding him this and saying you didn’t need the coat that much, the stand runner’s comments doubting matt was enough to fuel him to continue playing until he wins.

and somehow he tosses the perfect ring, watching it land and swivel around the bottle in victory. you both outwardly celebrate with screams and a very public kiss, that the two of you just can’t stop sharing today.

“congratulations,” the employee boredly says.

“thank you sir, thank you.” matt then obnoxiously turns around and yells out a speech to the random passersby “i wanna thank my mother, my grandmother, brothers, dog, and you people for giving me this opportunity to win something so grand for my sweet sunshine!” you stop giggling to give a royal wave to the many people judging the two of you, “thank you santa monica!” he blows a kiss and you both spin around to claim your prize.

“you two are like cartoon characters,” the stand runner says. and as soon as you start to grin at him he corrects, “that wasn’t a compliment.”

“whatever man, just give the pretty girl the fucking coat,” matt blinks at him. as the man walks away to grab the fluff off of the rack a few people stop by the table and matt warns them, “if i were you i’d keep walkin’, this guy’s a first-class hater.”

you drag matt by his arm back over to you, “did you take your socially-overbearing pills today?!”

“i have no clue, i think im too cold for my brain to process embarrassment anymore.”

“here’s that coat,” the man hands you it with a shake of his head.

“thank you, sir!” you exclaim and immediately fit your arms from the sleeves, “this is everything i’ve ever wanted!” you say as your jaw goes slack.

“you look good,” matt agrees, “you also look warm, so now i’m jealous.”

“let’s go get you something warm, baby.”

౨ৎ

after a trip to a random gift shop for a hoodie, matt whined about needing real food so bad.

so the two of you stand at the hostess stand in a small mexican restaurant on the strip.

“for two?”

“yes, thank you.”

“i’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay?” matt speaks close to your ear and you simply nod and watch him walk off.

you wait a few moments before the hostess offers to take you to your table, “did you want to go sit now or wait for your boyfriend?” she asks kindly.

you try not to make it so apparent that you enjoy the idea of you being matt’s girlfriend, “yeah, i can sit now, he’ll find me.”

౨ৎ

“i’ll have the chicken burrito please with extra rice,” matt orders as he sits across from you.

“and i’ll have the four birria tacos please,” you hand her the menu kindly.

you both are bundled up ridiculously with frizzy hair and barely-dry clothes, you’re surprised anyone agreed to serve you.

“alright, that should be out shortly!”

when she walks away matt asks, “why didn’t you get a drink? i’m just curious.”

“i swore off drinking until my birthday,” you shrug and fall back into the plush of the booth.

“mm, not smoking either?” he sips his water.

“i mean i haven’t smoked since early august but no i didn’t purposely stop.”

matt nods, “well if you were to drink, what are you ordering? i usually go for a corona but i wanna try something different.”

“oh strawberry margarita, a hundred percent. hits everytime.”

“i’ve never had a margarita so i’ll try it.”

your jaw drops, “hell yeah you’re gonna try it, i can’t believe you!”

“what can i say?” matt shrugs.

౨ৎ

matt plays with the toothpick in his mouth as you both sit in your spots for the bus ride home. he got to enjoy his first margarita and you took multiple pictures to document it, he bought you churros to go, and now you both are the most tired you’ve been in a while.

you quietly respond to texts that andrea sent you hours ago, asking what you’re doing and if you’ll be home soon, while matt lays his head on your shoulder sleepily.

eventually you shut your phone off and calmly rest your head against the chilled window for the rest of the ride.

•

[sunshine-theseus]

El Viaje | Sam Kerr x Reader

Words: 2.3k Summary: Sam’s done her ACL and the journey proves to be tough

“Sam? It’s 12:30 in the morning, what’s wrong?” my voice is groggy and hoarse as I pick up the phone.

Nothing is said in reply but a small shuttering gasp trickles through the speaker. I was very familiar with that sound. The one of Sam trying not to cry. It alarms me, so I scurry to sit up against the hotel headboard and turn on the lamp, as if it will make me concentrate better on the conversation.

“Chicka? What happened? Shouldn’t you be in training?” the Chelsea team had travelled to Morocco for some hot weather training, leaving them only 1 hour ahead of London but 9 hours behind Brisbane, so the timing was odd.

“I-” she chokes on her words and my heart clenches, as if I could feel whatever pain and sadness she was feeling.

“I won’t be going back to training. Not for a while.” my fiancé’s usual candour isn’t anywhere to be seen as she drags out the admission.

“Sam what are you going on about?”

Another one of those almost silent cries escapes her mouth.

“Sam please telling me what the fuck is going on or I’ll call Emma.” I grow even more worried as I flick through all the possibilities of what could have happened in my mind.

“Can we facetime? I want to see your face, it’ll make me feel better.” I’m requesting the facetime call before she can even finish, and it takes no time at all for me to be met with her face.

Her solemn, tear stained, lip quivering face. I nearly start crying just looking at her. I’ve only seen her look so defeated a small number of times, but it never gets easier. I desperately want to magically transport to Morocco and just hold her.

“Oh Sam, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I did my ACL.” The words don’t process in my head for a moment. She can’t possibly have said what I think she said.

“What?” it’s a whisper of disbelief but her face shows me everything I need to know. I feel sick as I stare into her eyes. Eyes that are usually so full of light and joy, dark and sullen in pain.

“I’m flying to Morocco. Next flight out.”

“No, we leave the day after tomorrow, it’d be a waste.”

“Sam-”

“You’re spending time with Sharn and Tameka, I’ll be okay.” The mention of my best friend and our Matildas teammate nearly makes me want to laugh.

“I’ve been here for 5 days; I went to their game last night, they’ll understand. Sharn’s coming to England in a couple months anyway. Say the word and I’ll fly out, whenever you want.” I can see the fight on her face.

“Please fly home, to England. I need you.” Tears well up in her eyes and I can feel them fighting on my waterline as well.

“Of course chicka.”

-

My flight gets in an hour before the team’s is supposed to. I sit in the secluded hallway I know they’ll eventually make their way down, leg bouncing non-stop and hands sweating. I’ve seen Sam injured, I’ve nursed her back to health, I’ve done everything you can imagine, but an ACL is different. Worse in every way.

Soon I begin to hear the chatter and footsteps often associated with the Chelsea team and rapidly stand up to greet them. Emma is the first one around the corner, closely followed by Jessie and Zećira. Each of them greet me and pass on a sorrowful smile before continuing down the hall.

It takes a little longer for Sam to make her way around, surrounded by Millie, Guro, and Erin; all of them are laughing and smiling at something Erin said. It takes me a few seconds but I’m taking off down the hall to meet the group who don’t notice me until I’m right in front of them. Where I usually would pick Sam up and spin her around, I have to stop myself, the crutches serving as a reminder to why I’m back early.

“Chickadee!” she smiles at me with that beautiful, joyful smile I’m used to, and I can’t help but lean forward and press a kiss to both her cheeks. Eventually she presses her own lips to mine, clearly sick of waiting.

“How’re you feeling?” Sam rolls her eyes, knowing I’m going to start fussing over her, and the girls around us laugh.

“I’m good. Millie’s been nursing me.” The friendly giant blonde grins proudly at us at the comment.

“Good, but now you have an actual nurse to look after you.” I grab Sam’s bag that Erin has a hold of, and the backpack that’s in Guro’s hand.

-

When we get home, I heave both lots of our bags through the house before cautiously trailing behind Sam who makes her way to our bedroom. She drops down onto the bed and I get nervous at the way her leg bounces as it absorbs the shock. I kneel down to start untying her shoes as she peels off her Chelsea travel jacket.

“I can do it you know?” Sam was ever the stubborn individual, and rarely wanted to accept help.

“Let me look after you.” I press a soft kiss to her injured knee before I continue taking off her shoes and socks.

I grab one of her oversized sweaters and shorts for her to slip into then head into our bathroom, running the warm water into the tub. I light some candles and turn off the lights, knowing she prefers the mellow light in times like these, before I hear her making her way on her crutches. It takes a little adjusting but I eventually help her slip into to sudsy water, then leave her to relax as I order some food for dinner.

Not long after I exit the room, I hear a splash and a groan of frustration, and race to see what’s happened. Sam’s body is still deep beneath the surface of the water but there’s a large puddle that slowly disperses at the base of the tub.

“What happened?” I pull my towel off the rack and begin to clean up the mess.

“I tried to get out.” the defeat is clear on Sam’s face, and it helps dampen the flame of anger that bubbled in my chest.

“Sammy-”

“I can’t do that, I know. I just… I don’t want to rely on you for everything.”

“Darl, I know it’s hard, and it will be hard for the next 9 months, but I’m here for you. I want to help you. You’re not alone.” Gently, I run a hand through her drying hair, occasionally massaging her scalp.

I can see the cogs turning in her head as I wait for an answer. The only thing I get is her leaning over and resting her head on my shoulder. It’s not comfortable for either of us but it’s the gesture that matters.

~~~~~

A few days later Sam has to go in for surgery. I have a shift at the hospital, so I drive her in, and take a goofy photo of her before she gets prepped, before I start my rounds. I find it hard, lacking my usual charm and overly-kind demeaner as I visit Carl, a 63 year old Irish man who came to spend a few years in England after retiring from teaching history in Australia, before going home to Ireland. He doesn’t stop talking. I don’t mind though; his stories never disappoint. He came in for a hip surgery but due to some complications he’s had to stay a little longer, and come in for regular stays every few months.

“You’re worried about something.” He likes to study me as I move around.

“Not when I’ve got you, hey Carl?”

“You’re pouring yourself a cup of tea. You don’t like tea. Which is appalling by the way.” I relax my shoulders and take in a deep breath. He knows me too well.

“It’s my fiancé-”

“Sam! Oh how is she!? I love young love.” A warm and reminiscent smile flitters across his face.

“Yes, well, she tore her ACL during training in Morocco. She has surgery today.”

“Bloody hell the poor thing! She’ll be okay love.” Carl pats my arm in reassurance, and I hate to admit I feel much more at peace.

-

Around 4 hours into my shift, I get called to take over a new patient for one of the other nurses who had to leave after their surgery. I walk down the fluorescently lit hallways, my shoes squeaking against the linoleum. Sam should just about be finished surgery too.

I pushed open the dark wood door but come to a stop when I see who’s snoring in the bed. My fiancé, ever so peaceful and beautiful, yet still looking so tired. There are band-aids over different points of her knee, barely propped up with a roll of cloth.

I check her vitals, not yet giving her more pain meds, and take a seat beside her. I take her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the dark vein, and admire her. Despite the hospital attire and the ruffled hair that falls out of her hair-tie, she looks so handsome.

-

I get paged to visit a few other patients before Sam gets the chance to wake up, but by the time I get back, basically the whole Chelsea team is sitting around her room or in the hall.

Jessie’s the one talking Sam when I walk back through the door, vials and food in hand.

“Time for lunch and meds!” I scoot in beside Emma and LJ to have access to her IV after she finishes the food, the girls around us greeting me.

“Chickadee! You’re here.” Sam reaches a hand out for me and puckers her lips but I stand back.

“Nuh uh. Here we’re nurse and patient, not fiancés. Now I need you to eat some food so I can give you your medication.” I can see her desire to fight back on her face, but I know she won’t ignore the orders when I’m actually on the clock.

When she finishes the horrid food, I put clean gloves on and fill the new needle with morphine, then turn back to her. I have to fiddle with the IV for a moment but eventually manage to inject the medicine.

“You might get sleepy; I’ll be back soon to see how you’re doing and adjust the dose if need be, okay? There’s the emergency button if you need me sooner.” I bid her and the team adieu.

~~~~~

I don’t get to take Sam home with me after my shift, instead having to pick her up the next day.

While she’s wheeled out to the car, crutches resting on her lap, I carry her brace and compression bands and whatever else she’s been given. Sam sits across the backseat, making sure to keep her knee elevated, and I make sure to drive as safely as possible.

-

When we get home, we find ourselves in bed, Sam’s head resting on my chest as I play with her hair, Derry Girls playing on the TV.

“I love you so much, thank you for being my nurse.” A kiss is pressed lightly to my collar bone and I smile.

“I’ll always look after you, my beautiful girl.” She looks up at me with those big chocolate brown eyes and I think I fall in love with her all over again.

I lean down and attach my lips to her’s but as we pull away, she turns serious.

“You owe me a lot of kisses for refusing to kiss me in the hospital.”

“Of course darling.” I simply kiss her again. Anything for my beautiful girl.

~~~~~

“You don’t have to baby me Y/N for fuck sake!” so much for ‘thanks for looking after me’.

“I’m not babying you Sam! I’m making sure you don’t push yourself too far!”

“I can lift things without you hovering over me!”

“You were trying to lift boxes that I can barely lift at full health!” she was really getting on my last nerve.

“I just want you to leave me alone for 5 fucking minutes! God I’m so sick of you!” that makes me pause, pain encapsulates my heart and tears floor my waterline.

My mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out. What am I supposed to say to that? So I turn around, picking Helen up on my way, and head to our bedroom. The door slams shut behind me, rattling the walls, the artwork threatening to drop and shatter to the floor. Not dissimilar to my heart.

I hear Sam groan but nothing else echoes down the hall for a while. Until I hear a crash. Without a thought I’m opening the door and rushing across the wood floors to find the girl I’m angry at.

All I find is her sitting on the ground, surrounded by piles of wood. She’s untouched.

“Sam…” it’s more of a sigh of relief than anything else.

“I just- I wanted to make it myself to apologise. And also to prove myself right.”

“You don’t need to make a whole fucking bookshelf for me. You shouldn’t. Your words hurt, but I don’t want you hurt.” I slowly help her get up, although it’s a struggle.

“I’m really really sorry. I didn’t mean it, that I’m sick of you. I could never be sick of you. You’re too kind.” A kiss is pressed to my cheek.

“And pretty.” Another to my opposite cheek.

“And perfect.” She kisses my lips, love flowing between us as I kiss back.

“I don’t deserve you. You’ve done nothing but take care of me and I’ve been all ‘Oscar the Grouch’ on you.” I lead her over to the couch and pull her against me.

“You could turn into Oscar the Grouch and I’d still love and take care of you. I will find you in every lifetime, and love you endlessly.”

[heartfullofleeches]

I wanna give Erin one of those stereotypical Valentines plushies. The ones holding a heart, even tho he probably wouldn't like it.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Erin! Now that I think about it I'm not sure if you like stuffed animals, but - I bought this for you!-"

The fuzzy critter in your arms steals Erin's heart the second he lays eyes on it. As he thinks of what name would best fit his new bed mate, another thought crosses it mind - "Should I really tell them how I feel?" If he it anybody - else he'd make some snide remark about how brainless they had to be to think he'd like take a gift from them. If it was from you - he was willing to take whatever garbage you dumped in his hands. Lucky for Erin you knew the perfect gift for him- even if he'd ever say it out loud.

"I...have a few actually.... He'll be a nice addition" Erin pulls out his phone, scrolling through his gallery praying he didn't already delete the unedited photo. The picture he shows is an uncropped version of a selfie he had sent you a couple nights ago. To his left was a small hill of plushies on his bed right out of frame where he laid. You never thought Erin of all people would own such cute plushies, but there was something you noticed about a few of his little friends the longer you stared at them.

"Wait... Some those look like ones that I-... Erin, have you been stealing my things?"

Erin tucks your present safely in the inner coat of his jacket - ignoring your question as he point out the snug fit of the plush in his coat. "Look at that - he fits perfectly. I think I'll keep him there for good luck."

[skipper1331]

Drunk // Guro Reiten

Guro was drunk. Really drunk. Chelsea just won the FA Cup and the team decided to go out and party. Music was blasting through the club while everyone danced.

You though, you were at home. Despite Guros begging to come with her you denied. You had enough work to do. It took a lot of kisses to convince her to go without you.

Guro was a clingy drunk. It would start when she got tipsy - her hand would never leave yours, she would always touch you, press kisses to your cheek, nose, forehead, jaw. She would practically sit in your lap even though there would have been enough space to sit on her own.

Now with you not being there she was a pouty little girl. "I want my girlfriend!" she whined, sitting at a table with Erin and Sam. "But she’s not here" Erin chipped in. "Drink some shots" and Guro did. Way to much. She would regret that decision in the morning.

At some point during the party night her drinking got out of hand which led to Magda calling you. Magda herself was not sober yet she was the most sober. "Hi! Sorry to bother you. Is there a way you could pick up Guro? She is kinda… yeah" As soon as you picked up the phone you already started to get dressed. You knew how Guro would get when alcohol was in her system.

Not even twenty minutes later you entered the club. It was hot, smelled like sweat and full of people. "Oh hello my friend!" Sam threw her arm over your shoulder. "Getting your girl, huh?" Clearly, she wasn‘t sober as well. She was like everyone in this club. "Where is she?" you asked. With a drink in her hand she pointed at Guro. "She looks like a lost puppy"

As you walked over to your lover, you bumped into a few people. They looked at you funny. You didn‘t know If it was because you bumped into them or because of your outfit (guro‘s chelsea shorts and her norway hoodie) not a typical club outfit.

"Baby, let’s go home" you said as you grabbed Guro‘s hand. Her head whipped in your direction, pulling her hand out of your grip "Baby? I have a wife!" she told you stern, slowly getting confused "i mean no i haven‘t. Not yet. I have a girlfriend" she clarified. Amusement was written on your face. "You have a girlfriend?" you asked. Guro nodded her head rapidly. "She‘s awesome. I love her very much" just thinking about you made her eyes go all shiny and cheeks blushy. Your heart jumped at her confession, falling deeper in love. "She‘s so pretty - much prettier than you." To make her point clear she made a mic drop gesture and with that she turned around, her back facing you. Even If she was drunk and couldn‘t think, she would never go home with somebody else - somebody that wasn‘t you. It made you feel safe and loved, knowing that she would never let anyone hit on her with or without you being with her.

You tried again "Let’s go home, please" with every minute that went by it got hotter in there. you laced your fingers with hers, turning her around. "I told you- Y/n!" Guro hugged you. Firmly, she pressed her lips against yours "you won‘t believe it" she started as she pulled you to the exit "Some woman wanted to take me home!" her voice aghast. "What?" you stated shocked, playing along. "Yeah. But don‘t worry min kjæreste i told her i love you"

Tomorrow will definitely be a teasing day.

—————————

I'm back from the dead. How are y‘all?

Feel free to send me some requests!

—————————

[starryinkart]

[CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY]

[Likes and Reblogs are welcome! As it helps get my art out there!]

HEY GUYS! CHAPTER 4 OF ABSOLUTELY IS NOW OUT! Sorry it took so long, life got in the way and I was doing some VA stuff! But Chapter 5- The Mystery is being worked on and will be released soon! Hope you enjoy!

Questions,Asks and theories are always appreicated!

Absolutely - Murder Drones (29705 words) by Spacezii Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Murder Drones (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death Relationships: Thad/V (Murder Drones), Uzi Doorman/N, Doll/Lizzy (Murder Drones), Khan Doorman/Nori Doorman Characters: Uzi Doorman, N (Murder Drones), V (Murder Drones), AbsoluteSolver (Murder Drones), J (Murder Drones), JCJenson (Murder Drones), Khan Doorman, Nori Doorman, Cyn (Murder Drones), Tessa (Murder Drones), Original Murder Drones Character(s), Worker Drone Character(s) (Murder Drones), Disassembly Drone Character(s) (Murder Drones) Additional Tags: My First Work in This Fandom, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think Summary: Years after a rebellion lead by Copper 9's Drones goes south, a whole new generation of drones is trying to live under the stricter conditions of the colony and the world they live in. Now with the danger of rouge Murder Drones and loyal Dissasembly Drones who still work for the humans of JCJenson threatening their everyday lives; the Worker Drones in the colony are restricted from leaving the bunker without exact permission from it's leader, Khan Doorman. Of course, not everyone listens to the rules, especially rebellious drone teenagers who believe the stories about "the demons descending from the sky" are all fake. So when highschool friends Melody, Erin and Lena sneak out of the colony one night to have some harmless fun and are attacked by a group of the sky demons, they are put on high survelience and grounded. But then, Worker Drones begin to go missing, and Khan is seen breaking his own rules through the surveillance camera's. There's something weird going on here, lies are being told, secrets are being kept and Melody is going to find the truth, no matter the cost….

Chapter 4 Summary:

Melody and Lena finally get confronted in the Medbay, Erin is probably close to death, Melody has a not-so- nice conversation with her father and leader of New Bunker City Mr.Doorman and has a heart to heart with the new voices in her head pestering her.

[uptondixon]

Upstead Foster Daughter

Did you ever wonder how Upstead would be as foster parents for a teenage girl? Like Hank and Erin, Hailey and Jay welcomed Olivia to their home when she was 16. Olivia holds a lot of grudges and is full of mischief, but she is also incredibly sweet and has a tremendous need to feel like she belongs. To her surprise, Hailey and Jay will give her exactly that.

Chapter I

[Chapter II] “You’re on your own, kid, you always have been”

No one expected to hear a stranger's voice through their radio, let alone saying that Jay was bleeding out on the pavement.

“Who the hell are you?” Voight’s surprised voice came through the radio.

“My name is Olivia Rivera, I'm with your officer Halstead and he's been shot! I'm sorry I couldn't call an ambulance but I don't have my phone with me,” Olivia said everything so fast they almost couldn't understand it.

“Shot? What the hell?” said Hailey in exasperation. She was driving with Voight after Jay left by himself.

The whole team was checking the crime scene from their current case when Jay got a call from a CI. Hailey was busy interrogating a witness when he got the call. She told him to wait for her but he was so eager for whatever information his CI had to give that he decided to go by himself. Turns out it was a trap. Hailey did not know the details yet, but she couldn’t help but think that this would have not happened if she had been with him.

“Wh-where are you?” Hailey asked, already feeling her heart start to beat out of her chest.

Olivia told her the address as slowly as possible in her state; after that, Hailey started bombarding her with questions she did not know how to answer.

While they talked, Voight rushed in passing the address to dispatch requesting an ambulance and some patrol cars. The rest of the team followed behind.

“Is he conscious?” Hailey asked.

Silence followed her question, leaving them both tense.

“Olivia! Is he conscious?” Hailey repeated.

“I- He- He was until now when I called you.”

“Does he still have a pulse, Olivia?” Hailey guided her to check.

“Yes, he does!”

“Okay, okay, keep putting pressure on the wound.”

“What's the ambulance ETA?” Voight's rough voice questioned dispatch.

“We're close, hang tight Olivia,” Hailey said, trying to calm the girl and herself down. He would make it, he always made it. This was not his first time being shot, but she surely hoped it was his last. She couldn't do this last time and she especially can't do it now.

“He'll be fine, Hailey,” Voight's voice invaded her thoughts. “Halstead’s strong, he'll get through this.”

Olivia didn't like hospitals. She felt trapped, unsafe, and overwhelmed. Probably because of the amount of people coming and going, the voices overlapping each other. There was too much going on and she shouldn't even be there in the first place.

After Jay's co-workers got to them everything happened in a blur. The ambulance got there seconds later, along with the other members of the team.

When Hailey and Voight arrived, Hailey came running in Jay and Olivia’s direction. She stared at the teenager with a mix of desperation and gratitude. Olivia stepped away as Hailey took her place. As others approached, Olivia stepped more and more away from the scene, ending up a little far away from it all.

She watched the scene unfold before her eyes in a trance. Jay was put into an ambulance and taken to the hospital, with several police cars following behind. Should she leave? She wants to know if he is going to be alright, of course. On the other hand, she feels like she was not supposed to be there.

“Hey! Olivia, isn't it?” a tall man appeared in her field of vision, his eyes were gentle and his voice calm.

“Yes,” Olivia answered.

“Name’s Kevin, Kevin Atwater. This is my friend, Kim Burgess,” he pointed to the woman beside him, and she smiled softly. Both officers looked shaken but they masked well, Olivia thought. Of course, this was not easy for them. Seeing a colleague hurt like that, almost lifeless.

“There's someone we can call for you? Your mom or dad?” Kim asked.

The girl didn’t answer. Kevin and Kim exchanged a look.

“Well, just come to the hospital with us then, okay?”

Voight watched them from afar, getting ready to enter the car and head to Med. Jay was the priority now, but they all were grateful for the girl, she saved Jay’s life after all. He made a mental note to thank her personally later.

Olivia debated for a moment. She decided it was better if she went with them and found a way to leave later without them noticing.

She nodded and followed them to the car.

“You can get cleaned up there,” Kim said after getting in the car.

Kevin started the drive to Med. Olivia didn’t answer the officer, suddenly feeling hyper-aware of all the blood on her. The adrenaline was wearing down.

“Are you okay, Olivia?” Kim asked softly.

“Yeah, sorry… I'm fine.”

“It’s okay, we will get to the hospital soon.”

Sitting in the doctors' room in Chicago Med a couple of hours later, Olivia was clean and waiting for a chance to leave. The really nice nurse called April who helped her clean up and gave her some food came by minutes ago and told her Jay would be alright. She left again when another nurse called for her so now was the perfect time for Olivia to leave.

She did not need to be discharged since she was neither a patient nor a suspect, right? Olivia got up and left the room, bringing some of the snacks the nurse gave her.

“Don’t worry Hails, we’re getting the bastard who shot Jay,” Kevin said firmly, looking at a very distressed-looking Hailey. Olivia got to the hospital’s lounge and saw Jay’s team reunited talking. They had their backs to the door she entered and could not see her.

They started to talk about the man who shot Jay and what they were doing to find him, most of which Olivia did not understand or did not care to try to understand. She stopped paying attention and started to plan how she would get out of there. There was only one way out and she could not leave without them seeing her.

Olivia was scared. She knew she wasn’t in trouble or anything but they were still police so she might as well be in trouble if they got to know more about her. Hell, they might as well already know.

“Stay with your husband Hailey, we’ll get him,” Voight's words drew Olivia's attention. Husband? That explained why Hailey was the most distressed of them all. The look on her face when she saw him lying on the pavement.

“Oh! Olivia, there you are,” said April, the nurse who helped Olivia earlier. Olivia's name caught the group's attention and five heads turned to look in her direction.

“Olivia!” Voight said, approaching the girl. “How are you? I need to properly thank you for helping my detective, I don’t know what could have happened if you weren’t there.”

“I… well, he was…” Olivia did not know what to say, so she came with a simple “You’re welcome” and a shy smile. She didn't expect to talk with anyone, let alone have all the attention on her.

“Well, I’m Sergeant Hank Voight and this is my team,” he went on introducing each of them. “You met Officer Kim Burgess and Officer Kevin Atwater. Detective Hailey Upton was the one you spoke with on the radio. And that is Officer Adam Ruzek.” he pointed to each one and they gave her a nod or a small smile.

After the introduction, he turned to look at her again. He spoke in a more serious tone, “We’re going to need your statement.”

Shit. That is exactly what she was trying to avoid. “I can’t!” was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

“It’s okay Olivia, we checked your file and we’re going to call your foster family on the way to the station,” Hank said.

So they know about her foster family, but they did not know she had run away yet. That was why she was in that alley, in that part of town, by herself.

Olivia thought about running but she could never get far with this many cops around. On their way to the district, she thought about jumping from the moving car but that was too stupid even for her. She laughed at the thought. Sitting in the car with Kim and Kevin again, she accepted her fate.

All her effort running away was for nothing. She was back to square one.

Slow, I know, but this is me trying guys. I love this OC so I hope I can keep writing her story even though I'm slow af. Thank you so much for the likes and reblogs on chapter one! ♡

[sevcasejay1chicago]

I gotcha Partner- Jay Halstead

Summary: After chasing down a suspect, you have a bad asthma attack.

Warnings: none that I know of.

Authors note: Jay’s installment in the platonic asthma fics. ❤️ Enjoy!

—————————

You have been Jay Halstead’s partner since Erin Lindsey left 2 years ago. You had been friend prior to this partnership, having met at Molly’s as well, so the partnership was easy to fall into. You knew each others quirks well, but you also knew each other’s medical history very well given all the near deaths you two have experienced since being partners. You have never experienced more near death experience on the job before working with Jay Halstead.

Today, you and Jay, along with the rest of the intelligence unit, are sitting on a suspect’s house. This individual has been indicted for multiple counts of aggravated assault and battery, leading the unit to believe that he is involved in a string of assaults at a few night clubs he has been known to frequent. He’s smarter than most criminals. He makes sure not to hit the same club multiple times, but to randomly jump around to throw off any suspicion.

You and Jay were sat in his truck, idly chatting about Matt’s move into the apartment with you and Kelly, when the suspect pulled into his driveway. You both straightened up as Voight began to speak.

“Suspect has landed. Suspect has landed. Use caution. Don’t spook him.” Voight instructed through our radio.

Jay grabbed our tac gear from the backseat and handed me my own. We suited up before slowly pulling the truck to block the end of the driveway. Burgess and Adam came up one side while Voight and Atwater came up the other. You noticed blood on his door handle and quickly jumped out of the truck and rounded it to grab the guy.

“Chicago PD!” You yelled, announcing yourself before moving to grab the suspect. Unfortunately, he was quick to react and shoved you into Kim before running down the small alley way next to his house. “Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit!” You yelled, quickly standing to your feet to pursue. You were the smallest and the fastest, next to Kevin.

You heard Jay flip the sirens and say he was going to cut him off. Kevin was on your heels, cursing about how the perps always run but they can’t run from you all. You shook your head, pushing through the burning in your chest. You were still recovering from your attack a few days prior, so you definitely weren’t in top shape.

You saw the end of alley way, thanking God that this run was coming to an end. Just as the suspect reached the end of the alley, Jay pulled the truck to block it and held the suspect at gun point through the window.

“Put your hands up.” Jay growled, seeing the blood on the suspect’s shirt and knuckles.

You stopped running, coming to a halt at the back of the truck with your hands on your knees. You were having trouble catching your breath as an audible wheeze left your body. You dizzily grabbed the bumper as you sunk to the ground. Jay saw you and quickly jumped out of the truck as Kevin cuffed the perp.

“Y/n?!” Jay yelled, crouching down in front of you. “Jesus. Your blue.” Jay muttered, taking your face in his hands for a second. You were ice cold. “It’s okay. I gotcha partner. Up we go.” Jay muttered, pulling you into his arms and rounding the truck.

“She okay?” Voight asked, coming to open the door for Jay.

“She will be. She’s having an asthma attack.” Jay said over your wheezes. He dug around in the glove box until he unearthed your inhaler. “Alright sweetie. Let’s do this.” Jay shook the inhaler before helping you squeeze the trigger as you attempted to breathe.

“Here. I got a pulse ox from the first aid kit.” Kim said, jogging back from her and Adam’s car. She handed the device to Jay before moving back to give you and Jay some room.

They all waiting on baited breath as the pulse ox read. High heart rate and oxygen level fluctuating between 83-85. Their eyes grew wide at the reading, concerned given that your inhaler should have opened you up by now.

“I’m taking her to med.” Jay said, buckling you in and shutting the door.

“I will give you an escort.” Voight said, quickly running to his SUV that Kevin pulled around after placing the suspect in the back of a patrol car.

“5021 George to Med” Jay said into his radio, lights and sirens blaring as he drove.

“Go ahead for Med.” April said.

“April. Y/n is having a bad asthma attack. Cyanotic, high pulse, O2 is low to mid 80s. Rescue inhaler administered and not helping. ETA 5 minutes. ” Jay reported, glancing over at you as you shook. “Shhh. I gotcha partner. I’m gonna get you help.”

“We will be waiting at the door. Med out.” April said.

Jay put his radio back on the dash before reaching out to take one of your shaking hands in his own. “Almost there. You are doing great.” Jay encouraged, trying to hide his worry.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

[g-xix]

20 vs 1 | Tobi Brown

Now TRY tell me Tobi blessed Brown isn't absolutely fine... Exactly! We don't lie here, and you can't say Tobi isn't 100% gorgeous. That's why we get a Tobi oneshot today 😎 Quick pose for the camera? Go on girl:

Killin it babe. Extra bit of media for what the character looks like + wore (bc i love seeing those things on ff's):

Anyways, go on and enjoy the story lovelies

-------

"Hey, how you doing?" I asked the guy as I walked into shot.

I had been invited by my friends, Kon, Kirsty and Charlie, to join in on one of a YouTube video by a group group whom they was friends with. The only information I had been issued was that I had to walk into shot, say hi, have a short conversation, be accepted of declined to a date and then if I was accepted I would get the opportunity to decline, before going on a date.

Now, I was in the shot talking with the said person who I might have to date.

My heart beat a little faster as I walked into the plain white set, containing nothing but a vast array of cameras and mics all wired and facing myself... and a man stood in the middle.

As I approached him, his eyes met mine with a simper from myself as I felt my heart flutter. He had dark eyes, though they were warmed by the smile he wore on his face. I broke eye contact to look at his outfit- mentally commending the matching silver rings and necklace he wore, also appreciating the way his clothes complemented him- his white shirt highlighting the muscle definition in his arms. I looked back up to see his eyebrow quirk with a grin, clearly having spotted me checking him out.

"Hey, I'm Erin and I'm 23." I spoke quietly, his eyes drawing me in more than the cameras- soothing me and telling me I didn't need to worry about all the eyes on us.

"Lovely to meet you, Erin." He grinned as learnt forwards, offering a hand. I slipped mine into his, expecting a simple hand shake, though I was surprised as he leant down to press a kiss to my hand, maintaining eye contact as he pressed his lips to my hand before taking a step closer to me as he came back up.

I felt a blush rising to my cheeks as I looked away, not wanting him to see the effect he had on me. "Erin- it just has to be a yes." He let my hand fall as he accepted, giving a nod before I walked off.

As I walked off I turned around to look at the guy once more, seeing that he too had turned around to glance at me. I giggled as my eyes made contact with his own, before speeding my walk into the changing room to find Zara with a squeal.

"How did it go?" Zara asked, linking hands with me and smiling as I jumped in excitement.

"It went really amazing! The guy... I didn't actually get his name, but he was... he was fit as hell, Zara." I smiled at the thought of our interaction.

"Really?" Zara asked. "All he said to me was a 'hi' and 'sure'."

"Oh, I mean, we didn't speak much more, he just said hi and a yeah too, but he was just so... I can't even explain it, attractive."

"Damn, I didn't even get a second glance after he accepted." Zara grumbled. I blushed, thinking back to the look we shared as I exited the set.

"Alright, everyone been accepted or passed?" Kirsty (one of the camera crew) popped her head around the door and questioned. Everyone nodded or replied a yes.

We then walked out depending on whether we liked Tobi or not, before sitting back-set once more and waiting for our date with him.

"Erin?" My head jolted upwards as I heard Kirsty say my name, beckoning me out for my date with Tobi.

"Do I look alright, Kirsty?" I questioned, straightening my clothes in an attempt to look good. I'd gone simple, with an oversized tee-shirt which covered most of my ripped black shorts, leaving my fishnets and chunky boots on my lower half- though I now began underestimating my outfit, the pressure of seeing him again causing me to overthink every minute detail.

"Shut up Erin, you look fit- and anyways- he's already accepted you for how you look so you can't look that bad." Kirsty rolled her eyes jokingly, her humour loosening my nerves slightly. "Alright, step through there and take a seat on the left. Tobi will be with you in a sec."

I took one of the two desolate seats in the middle of the room before I sat, staring at the large mirror on one of the walls. There had to be people behind that. Kon had told me before the shoot that the boys would be watching the date, hence I assumed they'd be behind there.

Kon had also issued a warning previously not to expect a normal date, which slightly worried me as I fidgeted with my fingers and sat in the chair, waiting for my date.

The sound of shoes hitting the floor woke me form my trance, causing my head to jolt upwards a smile to grace my face as I saw the familiar Tobi walk towards me, a grin slapped onto his face and his arms outstretched for a hug.

Dear God I was nervous for this date...

I picked myself up from my seat and beamed at Tobi, responding with a little 'hi!' as I reached up to sling my arms around his neck, whilst he hugged around my waist.

I sat down on my seat and began the date, making small talk and finding myself blushing every so often as he complemented me or started planning out our "next date", but also became slightly confused when he took off his bandana every few minutes claiming he was getting a bit of a headache- only for there to be another one underneath.

It was like a clown car- just when you think that the last bandana is off- there's another yet to come off.

A few bandanas down, he offered the black and white one to me, saying it 'matched my outfit', before I took upon his offer and allowed him to gently pull my hair back and knot it as an accessory behind my head. He didn't hesitate to call it cute from behind, before he turned to face me in front, Kon cutting off our date by saying it had been more than ten minutes- to which Tobi let out a groan in disappointment, bidding farewell before kissing me on the cheek and exiting- leaving me covering my face to hide the bright red blush that bloomed across my face as I sat in the chair, waiting for the final interview.

"How'd that date go then?" Kon interviewed.

"I thought it went really well- Tobi's really cute and I think he's really funny ... I thought it was a pretty fun date and with a nice guy too." I replied, trying not to gush over him. That was what I would do when I found Zara behind the set.

"Would you go on a date with him again?" Kon asked, smirking from behind the camera and giving me a knowing look which left me wondering whether he'd invited me onto the shoot to try and set me up with Tobi, today...

"Easily a yes." I giggled. "I mean- we already talked about what we'd do on other dates we have, and I've got his bandana which I think I'll have to return on another date." Looking down the lens of one of the cameras I smiled and mouthed 'call me', shaking my hand in the shape of a phone.

No sooner had I made that gesture, did I hear muffled screams from behind the mirror, causing me to laugh lightly before beginning to leave the set as Kon had gestured- though I was stopped as Tobi burst out of one of the doors behind the set, jogging up to me before smiling and grabbing my hand.

"Another date?" He questioned, panting slightly- seemingly having ran to get to the studio.

"Mhm, for sure!" I responded, unable to wipe the grin off my face.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping on it for a few moments before holding the phone out for me, gesturing for me to type my phone number out, under the contact name Erin 💗🫠

"I'll see you again soon, Erin." Tobi smirked, enjoying a short hug before walking away- myself blowing a kiss at him before laughing as he did the infamous Garfield heel-click as he walked off.

Who knew that the Sidemen studio would be a place to find love...

-----------------------

Hope you enjoyed and to anyone that got this far into the story Thank you!!

I know this is unrelated and not something any readers are really obligated to care about, but my guinea pig passed away earlier today. Really gutted tbh and it feels like the end of a really great era, as I've had guinea pigs for the last 4 years but from today, I don't have any guineas. Praying and hoping Jordie passed away in peace and is happy in a better place now. Can't make anyone pray the same, but if you could just think of Jordie with some love for a moment I'd really appreciate that. God bless little Jordie and thank you to anyone that's shown some love🤍

[cowboyjen68]

i am 24, from chicago and i have a crush on youuuu

You are very sweet to tell me and this is my opportunity to talk about how healthy internet personalities or "celebrity" crushes are to young lesbians finding thier own sexuality in a world that mostly assumes people straight (becuase statisically that is objectively true).

I still, to this day, remember, as a teen and young woman having a crush on Christy McNichol, Nancy McKeon (or more particularly her character Jo), and Tatum O Neal. There were older women like Markie Post and Erin Gray who I crushed on. "Ooo older women, they are so steady and have their shit together .. and HOT". I actually knew very little about them off screen. My Teen magazines were featuring TEEN stars, for good reason.

But I still crushed on them and watching thier sitcoms. Most of these women were straight but that was not really important. What was important was they were not really real. I could build them to be how I want to be in my mind using the superficial things I could see about them or learn from little interviews etc.

The internet has changed that dynamic slightly. I am accessible. Reachable. A real person. I wonder if someday media experts will refer to"CowboyJen" as a character I created. They would be wrong but I would understand the thought process. There are aspects of my life I don't share. No one wants to see me ass dragging at 10 pm after a 15 hour shift sitting on my bed trying to untie my shoes before I fall asleep or cleaning my bathroom . My life is entwined with others and I protect their privacy unless they agree to participate.

I do answer DM's. I do respond to comments. I am not simply a character on a small screen that does not interact with the audience. That is a shift in the "celebrity" paradigm. And it can make crushes seem much more real.

What I want to address is that crushes and fantasizing about other women IS NORMAL and healthy and a tool to help us figure what we like, learn to enjoy our sexuality. I remember feeling shame for thinking about these women because it was "dirty" and "creepy". In reality it was no such thing. It is just a normal part of being human, to seek out a safe outlet for fantasy, day dreaming and forming our dislikes and likes in our own head and heart so we can translate that to our real dating/love life.

Crushes don't stop at the teens or 20's. I would argue most adults experience crushes as well and it is just another tool in our humanity that we use to navigate the world we live in.

The largest difference is my generation's crushes were relatively unreachable. Fan mail was mostly answered by an employee or a hired service. Any contact in real life with back stage passes or "meet and greets" were heavily controlled and monitored for safety and to protect the image of the celebrity. And also to often to prevent the musician or actor from over stepping his/her bounds too.

Now many smaller scale recognizable people are accessible in real life. We live and work in our communities. I didn't create a character I just share my life and my reality because I think it can truly give other lesbians and women hope that we are not destined to life of stereotypes because we are butch, or lesbian, or bi or female or not rich or any number of things that get false expectations attached to it.

I guess what I am saying is your crush is healthy and normal and I would never shame anyone for having such feelings towards me. It is also my duty as a role model to not breech appropriate boundaries and I take that job very seriously. The fact is I travel to Chicago on occasion and I am out and about in the real world so the chances of me meeting followers like you and and others is highly likely at some point. I love meeting people and often to respond to and meet followers, who become my friends, in person. We are all people and I am dead serious about forming intergenerational lesbian connections in real life.

Your crush is your safe place to explore emotions and attractions so enjoy.

Side note: I don't not consider myself a "celebrity" LOL I am using that word in the broad sense as meaning a recognizable person outside of my in-person friends and community.

[voidpacifist]

things I loved about season four of sex ed (spoilers ahead)

the amount of representation present this season. the disability rep, the queer and trans rep, how not shy the writers were confronting different trans and disability rights issues head on.

eric's arc with his religion and his gayness and how he was able to reconcile the two. this one really hit home for me as someone who is both queer and a person of faith. I love getting to see gayness have a place within faith, it just healed something for me, okay?

otis was so classically otis but he finally (FINALLY) acknowledged his own idiosyncrasies without just writing them off as being the fault of wounds in his life. by the end of ep 8 he was dedicated to making things better for himself and for other people and I'm actually so proud of him for that.

aimee's journey with healing from her SA trauma and how she navigated a new relationship with that. also I know it probably wasn't intentional but she's a very autistic coded character to me and watching her flourish as herself with isaac just did something so special to my heart. I would level cities for her.

and adam too!! him finally getting the closure he needed with eric and them communicating !!!! the scene at erin wiley's funeral when eric is able to tell adam how genuinely proud of him he is, just,,,my heart I love it when people get to heal !! also again with the unintentional neurodivergent rep, like come on - sitting undiagnosed by yourself, handsome? he's just like me fr.

I was worried the writers wouldn't do isaac's character justice, even though he was given a good arc in season three I was still anxious about where they would take it now that maeve was overseas and honestly, they didn't give him very much of a story outside of his history and who he was when he was with maeve. similar to aimee with him, I really liked watching more of his artistic traits pop out and I loved seeing him have a healthy friendship with someone. even better, I love it when the feelings he harbored for that person were mutual with no strings attached. I wasn't expecting him and aimee to be endgame but I'm absolutely not disappointed about it (you can tell he's my fav because I've written the longest paragraph about him so far).

cal and aisha and pk. need I say anything more? my only gripe is that I wish we could have had a glimpse of the three of them on a date or even see if there were other people in the polycule but that's okay !! I also just really loved cal's journey with themself and I loved getting to see them supported for their identity it meant so very much to me.

lastly but certainly not the least, I loved that otis and o ended on mutually agreeable terms with each other, it just really added to the whole theme of trying to heal and open new doors and be okay with things not being in control all the time. it was especially touching that he gave his position as therapist to her because he knew and acknowledged he had work to do on himself like !!! very rare otis w but totally welcomed. had the show continued I would have loved to see more development w him.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you loved before part 2

author's note: here's part 2!

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, mentions of absent parent

day twenty-nine

"i honestly think you're overreacting," your roommate, natalie, said from her position on your bed. "it's your boss' mom, not your boyfriend's. in fact, you weren't even this torn up about meeting jason's parents."

you were pacing back and forth in front of your closet. normally, you'd be in leggings and a tee shirt when you went to mat's apartment, but you were starting to wonder if you should dress differently.

"that's because jason's mom doesn't have a grand baby i'm in charge of."

"no, she just has a son whose heart you own." you stopped your pacing and sighed. "have you even talked to jason about this?"

the very thought of that argument made you want to bang your head against the wall.

day twenty-seven

it was eleven thirty p.m. when you got home from work. mat had a late game and then press afterwards, but you'd be willing to bet if he didn't have ella waiting at home for him, he'd be out partying with his teammates.

as usual, mat apologized for keeping you out so late but like every other time, you just waved off his apologies, grabbed your bag, and headed home.

your original plan was to hop in the shower and hop into bed, but that was all disrupted when you saw jason sitting on the couch.

"hey?" you said though it sounded more like question than anything.

"where were you?" he asked.

a moment passed. all you did was blink. "what?"

"it's eleven thirty, where were you? out partying?"

"i told you i was working."

jason stood to his full height, just shy of six foot. "why are you so defensive?"

you guffawed. "because you're in my apartment interrogating me before i can even take off my shoes? maybe that's why."

"i'm just asking you questions, babe."

you rolled your eyes and slipped off your shoes. "it's too late for this. i need to go to bed because i have to work tomorrow."

"so you're just gonna walk away from this? we're not done here."

"jason, i'm tired. i've been with a baby all day. can we please continue this conversation another day?"

he held eye contact before huffing. "fine."

"thank you." you walked into your bedroom and shut the door behind you, sighing in relief when you pressed your back against it.

a ding sounded from your phone. a quick glance down had you smirking.

mat barzal sent you $800.

thanks - mat.

day twenty-nine

"hello?" your roommate snapped in your face. "are you listening? i asked you about jason and you just zoned out."

you shook your head and ran a hand down your face. "the conversation was less than pleasant, but we'll manage as we always do." she looked unconvinced but you were too busy scrolling through your camera roll to notice. "so what do i wear?"

natalie rolled her eyes at the poor effort put into changing the subject. "i told you he wouldn't be happy with the news. you're spending a lot of time over there with mat." she paused. "go with jeans and a tee shirt. you're meeting your boss' mom, not the queen of england."

you rolled your eyes. "he acts like i'm in love with mat," you said as you stripped off your sweats and pulled on the clothes natalie suggested. "i barely know the guy outside of ella."

"i'm just saying, i've been talking to jason and he's asked me if the amount of time you spent over there was normal."

interesting. you paused, but decided to unpack that comment later. "it's just a job," you said. "it's no different than what i was doing for erin when her girls were still really young."

"yeah but--"

"but what? seems like you're both upset that mat is a guy my age, which i cannot control. besides, the money is too good to turn down." after pulling on your shoes, you all but slammed your closet doors shut, signifying the end of the conversation.

"are you okay?"

"fine." you gathered your bag and slid on a coat on your way to the front door. "i'll see you later."

and you shut the door without another word.

by the time you get to mat's apartment, you're a little less irritated with your boyfriend and roommate. mainly because you know how to be professional, and meeting your boss' mom with an attitude was not the best of first impressions.

you only had to knock twice before the door swung wide open to reveal mat's smiling face. and unlike normal, ella wasn't in his arms.

"where's ella bean?" you asked while walking into his apartment.

mat shut the door behind you. "hello to you too. i'm doing fine thanks for asking. how're you?"

before you could even stop yourself, you were spinning around so he could see you roll your eyes. "i don't get paid to talk to you, mat. i get paid to watch your cute baby." you looked around. "so where is she?"

"i should warn you," he started, sounding nervous all of a sudden. "it's not just my mom--"

"is that her?" an unfamiliar voice called out. "is that your nanny, sweet ella love?"

a middle aged woman rounded the corner with ella in the cutest little strawberry dress you'd ever seen. "i'm so happy to meet you," she greeted almost immediately. "i'm nadia." she stuck her free hand out to shake yours. "and you are an answered prayer."

"mom," mat groaned from behind you. "can you cool it on the overreactions?"

she ignored him. "when mat called me and explained the situation, i had no idea what i was going to do, but then he told me about how you just agreed and i could tell it took a load off his shoulders."

ella started whining and reaching for you. which you were grateful for, considering mat's mom looked like she was about to start crying and, well, you never did well with adult tears.

"mom, i think you're making her uncomfortable," mat said from his new position standing next to his mother.

"oh shut up, mathew," another voice piped in. "you always were embarrassed of your family." a brunette walked into the room wearing a smirk you'd only seen on mat's face.

"that's not it, liana," he grumbled. "i just don't need you scaring away the only other person ella likes."

"that's not true," you cut in before things get out of hand (or before mat unintentionally compliments you again). "ella likes most people."

"she just likes you the most."

"mat, really, you can't still be bitter that she wanted me over you last week--"

"i'm her father! she should want me more!"

"she does!"

mat reached for her, but ella shrunk away with a coy smile. "see?! my own child prefers you," he said with no real malice. in fact, if you knew him better, you might've even recognized the look on his face as the start of a smile.

liana, whose presence you completely forgot about, spoke up. "with an attitude like that, it's no wonder," she deadpanned. "but enough about that, we're gonna be late for lunch if we keep wasting time."

your brows pulled together. "lunch?"

"i wanted to thank you for taking care of my baby and my grand baby."

you spared a glance at mat who was biting his knuckles, probably to distract himself from the redness in his cheeks.

"oh mrs. barzal there's no need--"

"call me nadia, sweetheart. and yes, there is a need. where i'm from, rejecting lunch is an insult."

"mom, that's not even true." but she held a hand up to cut mat off.

"shall we?" she gestured to the door.

you exchanged a glance with mat who looked just as helpless as you felt. "sure."

by the time you made it to the restaurant, your arms and back were aching from carrying ella. in another life, you might've considered taking the stroller was worth the effort of pushing it through a busy restaurant, but in this life, you were an idiot.

"take her," you pushed ella into mat's chest in the most gentle way you could manage without dropping her.

"you good?" he asked.

"my arms are numb."

"one of us could've taken her at any point of the walk, all you had to do was say something."

you shrugged. "well, this is me saying something."

from the corner of your eye, you saw liana watching the both of you like an interesting tennis match, but you ignored it, there was no room in your brain for interpreting a stranger's gaze.

"this way, you four," nadia said before she followed the hostess to the table.

the five of you got settled, with ella in the high chair between you and mat. it was in the moment of looking at the menu that your heart dropped to your stomach.

"oh my god," you said.

mat looked over immediately, and maybe if you weren't focused on his face, you would've seen the concerned glances from his sister and mother. "what?" he asked.

"i forgot to bring her puree, she usually eats lunch at this time."

"oh honey," nadia smiled and pulled out some baby food and a bib from her bag. "we took care of that before we left. you don't need to stress."

you nodded and sat back, feeling the weight of the world disappear from your shoulders. "sorry to freak everyone out."

"i'll take that any day over mat's moodiness."

"shut the hell up, liana," he grumbled with no real bite.

"please excuse my children," nadia smiled. "you feed them, give them shelter, teach them right from wrong, and they still embarrass you in public."

you laughed before you could stop yourself. "i've seen worse," you said.

"oooo now this is something i actually want to hear," liana started. "what's the worst thing you've ever seen in all your nannying?"

"mat's cooking," came out of your mouth before you could even stop it. the very phrase sent everyone (but mat) into a tailspin of laughter, even ella giggled when she saw everyone else.

"it's not that bad," he defended.

"yes it is," his sister and mother said in unison.

you opened your mouth for a rebuttal, but the buzzing of your phone in your back pocket cut you off. confused, you pulled your phone out and saw a text message from your boyfriend.

when can i expect you home? or are you too busy getting lunch with your boss?

your fingers hovered over the keyboard. you didn't remember telling jason about the lunch, especially because you didn't even know you were getting lunch with mat and his family until you arrived at his place.

immediately, you started looking around for him. he shouldn't be there considering he had work, but there's no way he could've known unless he was spying on you.

unless he checked your location.

"you alright?" mat asked, leaning in a little so he didn't draw his family's attention, who were, for the most part, pretending to read the menu to not arouse suspicion.

you typed a quick "idk" and tucked your phone back in your pocket before you made eye contact with mat. "'m fine."

lunch in total lasted about two hours with mat's mom and sister sharing embarrassing stories of his childhood. they explained that his dad was stuck working and couldn't make the trip that time but would later on in the season. you stayed until it was clear ella was about to pass out or cause a scene. though this time, mat was in charge of carrying her back to his apartment.

"are you going to the game tonight?" liana asked once you were back in the safety of mat's living room.

you shook your head no. you weren't even aware of a game going on today. the only times you knew a hockey game was happening in town was when mat needed you to watch ella in the evenings. aside from that? you were clueless.

"you should come!"

"who would watch ella?" you gestured to the baby as nadia took her down the hall to her nursery. she was falling asleep on his shoulder.

liana waved her hand. "she can come!"

mat made a noise in the back of his throat. "it would probably conflict with her sleep schedule. we can take her when she's older."

"besides," you continued. "my boyfriend is a rangers fan so--"

"what?" liana cut you off almost immediately.

you blinked. "what? is that a problem?" there was a nasty feeling creeping up on you and you didn't like it one bit. it only occurred when you were arguing with jason or when your parents accused you of being too self centered when you backed out of a family gathering.

"no!" liana said. "i mean they're a rival of the islanders so there's that, but i just thought that maybe you and--" she glanced to her left where mat stood with his arms crossed and gaze dark. "...never mind."

"what?" you asked.

"i--"

"liana, i think mom is calling you," mat cut in. you recognized sibling telepathy for what it was but didn't bother even trying to decipher it. when she left the room, he finally looked at you. "i'm sorry about that, i don't want to ambush you or anything."

"you didn't, i mean, i was surprised by the lunch offer but i mean, i'm appreciative of it all." you didn't say anything for a moment, choosing your next words carefully. "is it, um..."

"is it what? you can tell me."

"is it a problem that my boyfriend is a rangers fan? i honestly didn't know until a few days ago when i mentioned you and--"

"how do you not know what team your boyfriend cheers for?"

"i didn't even know he liked hockey until i started working for you."

mat groaned your name. "are you serious?" he laughed.

you slapped his arm with the back of your hand and decided not to dwell on how solid he felt. "don't laugh!"

"i'm just saying it's kinda crazy you didn't know he was a rangers fan until a few days ago. how long have you been dating?"

"like...two years?"

he laughed again. "are you telling me or asking me?"

"it's been roughly two years." a yawn escaped your lips before you could stop it.

"you good?" he asked.

you shrugged. "didn't get much sleep last night."

"why don't you go home for a little bit, i'll text you if i need you tonight, it'll depend on if mom and liana go to the game."

"you sure?"

mat smiled and nodded. "get some rest, and i'll see you later."

as if there was some higher power controlling your face, you found your lips turning up at the corners and smiling back at him.

taglist:

@whenmypartysover @sunflowerhood @spencereidbasis

[crystalandparrot]

ROTTMNT x Reader

Part 1, Part 2

The flashing of cameras and the voices of reporters was the first thing Leonardo heard as he stepped out of his limo. Due to the long plane ride, Leo decided to wear comfort over fashion, although it's hard for him to look bad in anything. He wore a white wife-beater, revealing his plastron and tattooed arms. Much like his brother, Leonardo loved art, he just loved it in a more show-off sense. Of course, he let his brother give him his first tattoo, a large colored portrait of their family on his thigh. On his legs were blue sweats, a personal favorite that his agent always advised him not to wear. Expensive shoes designed for him specifically adorned his feet. Finally, silver chains decorated his wrists and neck (he would have chosen gold, but his brother advised against it. C'mon, blue and gold?), glistening with each movement. He flashed a smirk at the cameras and gave finger guns at fans. One of his bodyguards leaned close to whisper in his ear, "You have a meeting with the executive producers in thirty minutes."

"Which means I get at least twenty-eight minutes to strut my stuff." Leo chuckled. With split-second motions, Leo changed between poses, performing for the camera.

"-mask!"

Leo turned and stared into the crowd, "W-Who said that?" The crowd parted as if making way for a royal or God to walk without interruption. A small woman with a microphone in her hand shook as Leo approached. "Just now, you said something, what was it?"

The small girl stuttered, "I asked i-if you could put on y-your mask. F-for a picture for Channel 10?"

Leo's heart dropped, and his breathing quickened. A pat on his shoulder shook him out of his mini panic attack. He nodded thanks at his bodyguard and gave the reporter a quick grin, " I don't even know where that old thing went! It's been, what, psshh, five years? It's probably shoved in a box somewhere." That satiated the hungry reporters and fans, for now. Leo and his bodyguard left, heading off to the large building behind the crowd.

Okay, first things first. You don't know the old password so you can't change it to one you'll remember. So you changed the screen dimming time to never. Now the phone won't shut off on its own. Dialing your number, you called about three times with no answer. A sudden thought crosses your mind, causing your palm to hit your face. Your phone was on silent. Taking a deep breath, you quickly texted your number, explaining the situation and the password to unlock your phone. That way the turtle Yokai won't be as clueless as you are now.

With nothing else to do, you connected your headphones to the turtle's phone and searched for Spotify. It was his fault, the least he could do was spare some tunes. Wait a minute...his Spotify account...this dude was Othello Von Ryan? Man, you couldn't wait to see him again. His studying playlists kept you awake and alert through college! His barrage of random music, ranging from 80's dancing music to hardcore techno kept your mind alert and focused. Donnie, or, Othello Von Ryan, helped you with memory. Oddly enough, some of the quirky tunes in his playlists gave you memorization songs.

In fact, now that you think about it, Donnie looked an awful lot like your favorite actor--

"(Y/n)! Come in, dear! I've been expecting you!" A shrill voice called from across the street.

You looked up, spotting Mrs. Erin, the Heron Yokai. You grinned, pulling your headphones out of your ears and shoving them in your pocket. You waved at the Yokai as you crossed the street, stepping into her swampy garden. "How's your husband, Mrs. Erin?"

"Oh, Harry's fine! Come in! Come in! Let me get you a cup of tea." The old Yokai hobbled inside, her talons dragging across the waterlogged wood. You followed behind closely, used to the drab environment. You learned throughout life that the more you understand how something came to be, the more beautiful it becomes. With a clap from you, the twinkling string of lights came on. It's warm glow bouncing off the waxy leaves that broke through the cracked windows. Dew drops fell onto the wet floor, filling the room with quiet plip plaps.

A chipped cup of lukewarm tea was placed in your hand. A feathery hand pushed you down onto an old rocking chair, the owner of the hand sitting down across from you. "I want you to tell me all about this new job!" Erin grinned with a toothless smile.

"It's just a small librarian job at the school up top." You said, sipping your tea.

"Up top! With all those-those monsters?" Erin screeched.

"They're not all monsters! Some of them—"

"(Y/n). When your mother died I promised your father I'd make sure that you were safe! W-wouldn't you rather stay home? Marry a nice Yokai and settle down?" Erin tottered closer to you and grabbed your hands.

You chuckled, "I'm not exactly looking for someone to settle down with yet. I'm ready to get out there and explore! Besides, I can protect myself!" You said, proudly.

"E-even with all the humans?" Erin stuttered.

You blinked at Erin, your face neutral, "Mrs. Erin. I'm human."

"I know! B-but you're one of the good ones! I'd hate for you to go up top where I won't know what happened—Oh!" The old Yokai snatched the cup of tea from your hands and peered into the old china. She glared at the leaves and swirled the remaining liquid in the cup. With a gasp that jostled your core, Erin’s beak stretched into a long smile. She breathed a sigh of relief and set down the cup. “I was worried for nothing. You’re going to fall in love and get married to a nice, young, handsome Yokai.”

You shook your head, yet a smile still sat on your cheeks, “Maybe in a couple of years, Mrs. Erin. I’m not in any rush to get married to anyone right now.”

“Oh, I’m sure!” The Heron chuckled like she knew something you didn’t. Without warning, she began pushing you out of the house. “Okay, bye-bye now! The quicker you go up top the faster you fall in love!” With that, the door was slammed in your face, the sound echoing through the marshy area.

“Love you too.” You said flatly. You pulled the mystery phone back out of your pocket and put in your earbuds again. When you clicked onto Spotify, a notification popped up.

“Leonardo Hamato back in NYC for upcoming movie shoot, exclusive interview from Channel 10.”

Huh. How weird would it be if you ran into your favorite actor while after just moving back up top? Probably entirely impossible, but it was nice to hope, right?

"Shoved in a box?! Did you hear him?"

"I did."

"Shoved in a box?! Ugh! He's just so—"

"Annoying, pompous, overconfident, lacking in empathy, ass-like?"

Mikey turned to Donnie, his hair falling into his face as his head whipped around. "I was gonna say stupid, but yeah, those work too." Mikey nodded, turning back to the T.V, seeing the reporters final words to the camera once Leo left the cameras view.

Donnie felt himself N.E., which stood for Nose Exhale. Mikey learned that phrase years ago and thought it was more fitting than L.O.L for his emotionally unavailable brother. While it was rare for Donnie to "laugh out loud", when he found something humorous, he always let out a little breath of a chuckle through his nose.

"I just...out of everything he could have done...why'd he have to take away the one thing that..."

When Mikey paused, Donnie looked up from his purple holographic screens that he had been typing on. He saw Mikey looking at the screen sadly, and he knew it wasn't from the sad dog commercial that came on, but the interview that came before it. "That what, Michael?" Donnie asked, the screens disappearing.

"Nothing, it's stupid," Mikey sniffed, wiping his eyes before tears could escape.

"Leo is stupid, you're emotionally intelligent. You obviously have a reason to feel what you feel. You're not stupid for feeling emotions, Michelangelo." Donnie used his full name with the intention of leaving an impact.

Mikey chuckled and turned to Donnie, tears running down his smiling face, "Thanks, D."

Donnie nodded and sat up in his bean bag (yes it was his, the purple color made it obvious), "I may have taken a page or two from Dr. Delicate Touch," he shrugged.

"Nah, that was Dr. Feelings for sure," Mikey joked, knowing his brother was rather uncomfortable with feelings, but to be fair, he had gotten a lot better. Realizing this, Mikey sighed. Donnie appreciated honesty over anything, so this was something he needed to get off his chest, for his sake and his brother's. "Dad always called us by the color of our masks. Red, Orange, Purple...but Leo's not wearing his anymore. It's like he disowned us...he's not Blue anymore." Mikey began tucking his head and limbs into his shell with every word. By the end of his sentence, only his shell was visible sitting in front of the empty recliner.

This time Donnie sighed, he stood and gripped the purple beanbag so it stayed comfortably on his rear while he shuffled towards his brother. Letting gravity help him, Donnie let himself and the beanbag fall to the ground. He wiggled slightly and hummed, pleased at the fact that his position hadn't changed and the beanbag was still holding his shell and rear perfectly. Using his hand, he hesitantly patted Mikey's shell in comfort. "Leonardo's done some idiotic things in the past. I'd put this in his top ten, actually." Donnie thought aloud, but shook his head, remembering his original point, "He’s a dumb-dumb but, unfortunately, he'll never stop being our brother."

Mikey poked his head out, looking in Donnie's eyes for...something. A lie? Hope? Donnie didn't know, but whatever he found, he liked it, because the next moment, Mikey had his head and limbs out. He outstretched his arms, but didn't move aside from that. Donnie rolled his eyes, although a small smile poked at his lips. With a nod from Donnie, Mikey jumped onto him, giving him the tightest hug that he thought he'd ever received. Donnie hugged back.

Thankfully for Donnie, Mikey understood boundaries, and separated from Donnie before the hug got too overwhelming. Sloppily wiping his tears and sucking up his snot, Mikey gave Donnie a sincere smile. "Thanks, Don."

Donnie nodded, a small smile on his own lips. Out of his battle shell came a robotic arm holding a tissue. Mikey took the tissue and blew his nose as the robotic arm retracted back into the shell. "Hey-"

"I would prefer if you finished blowing your nose before you change the subject, please." Donnie asked, pulling up his holographic screens once more with the help of his Ninpō.

Mikey obeyed, then tossed the tissue into the trashcan on the other side of the room. When it landed, Mikey pumped his fist in a silent cheer. "What happened at the Mystic City? We were chasing Meat Sweats and you stopped to talk to some girl." Mikey remembered.

"Oh, yeah. Raph was texting about meeting for dinner, so I naturally opened my messages to form a reply, when—" Donnie pulled out his phone to show Mikey the texts when he immediately felt something amiss. The case was the same, the weight was equal to his phone, the model was the exact same, everything looked fine. But this is Donnie, he lost his phone for less than a day and went nearly insane when he was still a teenager. Give him a week and he might've made a phone from just things in the woods. He knew everything about his phone.

"Donnie?" Mikey called, noticing his brother's sudden silence.

Shakily, Donnie turned over the phone, noticing the background first, then the surplus of texts and calls from his phone number. He whispered something too quiet for Mikey to hear.

"What?" Mikey asked, putting his hand up to the side of his head where his ear would have been.

"This. Isn't. My. Phone."