#ENJOY THE VISUALS OF SONNY IN ALL HER WORLDS

[snnynaturalarch]

endless edits of sonny munroe all her verses: main, apocalypse world, demon, huntercorp, and endverse personals don't reblog mutuals may interact + reblog

[canmom]

Animation Night 109: Short Film Night!

Hey friends! It’s the time of week where we watch animation!

Tonight is something of a successor to Animation Night 9: web animators and 48: independent/web animators 2, as well as 99: Love Death and Robots.

For there has indeed been a new chapter of Blur Studio and friends’ animation festival, and I’ve been holding off watching the new entries to enjoy them with you~ There’s also been a new crop of CalArts student films, and I thought it would be fun to dig into those as well, plus show a few more gems of the web. And if that’s not enough of a runtime, I still need to show you Belle after we didn’t have time two weeks ago...

So, Love Death and Robots! Honestly, as much as I have found many entries in this series underwhelming compared to classic package films like Robot Carnival, Memories and Short Peace, and the approach to sexuality and violence frequently unimaginative despite the effort to be shocking, I am glad the series exists. There are very few ways for shortform animation to reach a wide audience, and it is good to see these studios get to make something under their own direction rather than to promote a franchise.

No Robert Valley this time, alas. Hopefully that’s a sign he’s doing some more exciting things elsewhere. We do have some enemies that suggest some fascinating imagery, like Alberto Mielgo’s film Jibaro about a deaf conquistador fighting a siren:

Mielgo directed one of the ‘artier’ entries in the first season, The Witness, in which a man pursues the witness to a murder he committed through a city streets and a sex club, trying very forcefully to explain his innocence. I’m not sure if we knew what to make of it back then; it fell rather awkwardly in the running after Blur Studio’s very goofy and heavy-handed Sonnie’s Edge and the polarising Three Robots, so ‘benefit of the doubt’ was in short supply. Nevertheless, it definitely established that Mielgo has quite the visual library and approach to expression and colour, so I’m looking forward to seeing what he does this time around.

For traditional animation fans, the main attraction this year seems to be Jennifer Yuh Nelson’s film Kill Team Kill, which seems to follow in the footsteps of Studio La Cachette’s film Sucker of Souls in season 1 in seeing (stop me if you’ve heard this one before) a bunch of soldierly types fighting a scary monster. Visually it’s going for a very 80s vibe...

For all that it’s a familiar story, it absolutely is the case that Titmouse have some seriously talented animators, so I’m sure it will have quite a lot of appeal visually. As for Nelson, she’s had quite a career; she’s probably best known for directing the Kung Fu Panda movies at Dreamworks, but the one that jumps out at me is that she was story director for Ralph Bakshi’s bizarre horny sci-fi series Spicy City. Her entry in Season 2 was a dystopian noir film leaning heavily on Blade Runner, about a world of immortals in which a cop shoots anyone found to have kids but has a last-minute change of heart upon finding a nice little family, which was... ok, I can’t really defend that premise on a thematic and metaphorical level, but a fascinating window into some sort of anxiety.

Another promising entry is the cel-shaded CG adaptation of a Swanwick story, The Very Pulse of the Machine, directed by newcomer Emily Dean with Japanese CG studio Polygon Pictures - known for their work with Mamoru Oshii on films like The Sky Crawlers (Animation Night 38) and GitS 2: Innocence (Animation Night 39). As a CG studio, they have a bit of a mixed legacy: I can’t say I love their work on Knights of Sidonia or Ronja, the Robber’s Daughter, but a lot of that might be the pressures of TV animation production so it would be good to see what they can do with more time to work on their animation. The clips of this one definitely look cool, at least!

Also returning is Jerome Chen, who in season 1 directed Sony’s very reserved mil-sf film Lucky 13, which invited you to feel sad about the tragic death of an aeroplane - something which honestly worked a lot better than you’d expect, if only because it was one of the few films that didn’t rely on squick factor to sell its beats. This time around it seems that he’s once again returning to that territory, with a bunch of space marines fighting some kind of eldritch abomination. We’ll see.

Oh and, if you’re one of the side who liked Three Robots last time (and, I’ll admit, I feel like I was too harsh on it), there’s a sequel to that! And, of course, Blur themselves have a lot of entries. In all honesty, I think it will be like the last two seasons: one or two absolutely standout entries and a lot of others that are just so-so, but that’s always the risk you run with original short films, and I’d rather try and fail than not!

For our second block, we’ll be making use of this helpful playlist of every CalArts Character Animation student film this year.

To briefly introduce for those unfamiliar, CalArts in California is one of the most prestigious three international animation schools, alongside Gobelins in France and Sheridan in Canada. All of these schools are ridiculously selective and demanding, but they are also one of the surest routes to a job in the animation industry (typically these days in work like storyboarding and character design). In the past we’ve watched a lot of Gobelins films, but this time let’s take a look at what’s going on in @mogsk​‘s neck of the woods~ <3

Like Gobelins, the students make a short film each year; unlike the Gobelins approach where the students generally divide into small teams, at CalArts the rule seems to be that each student makes their own film, typically around 1-2 minutes long, for which they do all the animation (typically not music or voice acting). So the animation may not be as ridiculously polished, but also that means more possibilities for people to try out novel things.

I haven’t yet watched more than a few of them and won’t have time before tonight, but here are a few I’ve enjoyed so far...

Operago by Rayna Buxton: two girls whose design resembles a medieval tapestry battle a gigantic opera singer. Extremely cool visual style and the action choreography is very well handled; not surprisingly this one has been blowing up on Youtube.

After the Rain by Chelsea Yijia Li; a sweet atmospheric animesque film about a migrant returning to see her friend in China. Strong voice acting and direction; I like the bilingual dialogue.

Mahou Shouject. This one’s cute. An egg (or maybe a boymoder...) sees a magic butterfly and does a magical girl transformation sequence.

The Pretty Duckling - fun little musical one, you can see the twist coming but it’s nicely executed. Also technically another entry for ‘hard vore night’.

Opera by Janelle Feng - this one fully feels like a Gobelins film, and not just because they also made one about performers preparing for a show. Anyway, the dialogue is really strong, and the character animation has a lot of subtlety; those simple eye movements do a lot to expressing the main character’s performance, and it does a great job showing the many different feelings of a group of Chinese opera performers performing for a foreign audience without really knowing on what level their performance is received.

...and with that I’ve reached the video limit for my post, RIP. But do also check out NOHARM_INTRO by Wesley Joseph for some very fun stylised dance animation - not sure if rotoscoped or just closely referenced.

That’s barely scratching the surface, and I’m looking forward to digging into the whole list. Since I would like to continue posting Youtube videos, let’s put this out now and continue in a reblog~

[blue-eyed-giant]

my opinions on the in the hights movie (part 2)

patrick page has become "the capitalism guy" for me lmao he has a character type that's for sure but he is a linen salesman why does he want rosario's?

again i don't exactly remember where this belongs but what is the purpose of sonny's father? he shows up for one scene, says a few words and doesn't add much to the story. why did they add him?

so kevin didn't actually fire benny and since camilla isn't around and kevin is a drastically changed character neither him selling the business nor nina dropping out are huge deals. so there isn't any actual family drama. and benny and nina are good. what. the. fuck.

anthony kinda lost the awkardness usnavi has during the club scene but i'll allow it it's just one song.

benny didn't get fired but still talks about getting fired. what the hell at least cut it out.

no drama between benny and nina. the fight also doesn't happen. between this and blackout the whole thing is a badly cropped and sticked mess and nothing makes any sense.

the dancing tho. it is the only thing that makes the scene tolerable.

blackout is a mess. there are so many things wrong i can't even get my thoughts straight. kevin doesn't search for nina. benny and nina don't have a fight and make up, since there is no conflict in their relationship there won't be a resolve do the relationship stays very one-dimensional. the whole "you abandoned me" thing with vanessa and usnavi seems so shallow because usnavi didn't run to abuela as he should have and was with vanessa the whole time. the shop isn't at danger, which is a bad strike for graffiti pete's character and on top of that we don't see how dangerous this blackout is, the whole tension is scrapped away.

"hundreds of stories" is gone. it was a very nice and comedic song i think they should have kept it somewhere as a comedic scene. it also explains usnavi's name way funnier than a simple dialogue.

everyone coming together at abuela's home was very heartwarming 🥺 even though i didn't like how they made the situation more fun than scary in blackout i enjoyed this scene very much ngl

paciencia y fe was the only song i couldn't forgive the writers if anything happened to it since it is such an emotional song for me. i can gladly say that i was not dissappointed this version of paciencia y fe is the only song i like better in the movie. the visuals were amazing and olga merediz delivered the song as wonderfully as always. the theme of abuela travelling all her life and finally reaching a destination where the options are home and death was poetic cinema as i understand the term lmao. and her seeing everyone being happy without her help and understanding her goal and job on this world is accomplished was incredibly emotional. i have to confess, i cried for the first time in a long while when watching a movie.

as a note, i have a feeling if they didn't get olga merediz for abuela she wouldn't be such a powerful character in the movie. imo she is the best abuela there is and captures the essence of the character better than anyone else. not being on a stage alone for her solo but with a huge ensemble and lots of settings and props could have affected any other actress's performance but they only strengthened olga merediz's.

with "sunrise" out of picture people teasing benny about him and nina is pointless because they've been together for a long while??? it's nothing new??

so the actually important songs get cut but "when the sun goes down", a song that could be easily replaced with a sinple dialogue stays for the cool effects? smh

champagne is in past tense because of the time skip lmao dunno why i found this so funny

i like how in the movie we see vanessa and usnavi's stories get wrapped up but the uncertainty in the stageplay was also a different kind of vibe. makes me sad that usnavi couldn't realize his dreams so he imagines his barrio as his bar tho that kinda broke my heart but seeing him be happy with vanessa and their daughter immediately fixed it :) i wish we had seen what happened of sonny too

some end of movie thoughts:

i feel like they focused too much on the younger generation of the barrio and not enough on the older generation. of course the today is important but the elders (abuela, kevin, and camilla) told us the story of the past which is equally important. they carried the cultures of their homes and told us about where this barrio came from but the young ones couldn't because they spent all their lived in the us. they tried to load all that onto abuela but it just didn't feel right because her experience wasn't the same as the rosarios'.

the other thing is wardrobe choices. in the stageplay the clothes showed us the socioeconomic situation of the barriovery clearly but in the movie all the women are dressed like models which doesn't make sense when they start talking about the economic struggles they face. i especially noticed this with vanessa because she seems to wear the most pricey clothes while supposedly being the poorest.

and lastly: how the fuck did this movie end up just as long as the stageplay when all these stuff are cut out????

[storekn1fe]

Favorites of 2021

Quick overview of my favorite media I read/watched/played this year!

Witch Hat Atelier ⚠️ TW for: sexual assault and harassment, verbal and emotional abuse ⚠️

Witch Hat Atelier is about a young girl named Coco, who accidentially uses forbidden magic and turns her mother to stone. She is taken it by a witch named Qifrey and begins to learn to use magic. Shirahama Kamome is genuinely such a fantastic author and artist. Literally very page of this series is beautiful. The way she handles serious topics is also done very well, in a way that is often not explored in manga. I really can’t express my love for this series adequately, and if you haven’t, I highly recommend you read it. 

Rest under the read more!

Chainsaw Man ⚠️ TW for: heavy gore and violence, pedophilia, grooming ⚠️

Chainsaw Man is about a boy named Denji, who dies and merges his heart with his devil/dog, Pochita. He becomes a devil-human hybrid, and is asked by a mysterious women named Makima to join the Public Safety Devil Hunters. I tried reading CSM late in 2020, but I dropped it after 30 chapters. Later, once the anime got announced, I decided to give it another try, and it quickly became one of my favorite manga. Something about the way Fujimoto writes characters just feels so human, and there are many moments I’m still thinking about, many months after first reading the series. I also read Fire Punch and the one shot Look Back, which were both emotional rollercosters in completely different ways.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure parts 5-8 + Purple Haze Feedback ⚠️ TW for: pretty much everything you can think of ⚠️

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is an series following various members of the Joestar family and their adventures, divided into (so far) eight parts, with a ninth in development. This year ended up with me getting back into Jojo! I had read halfway through part 5 several years ago before losing interest, but once I heard part 6 was getting an anime, I decided to dive back in and finish the parts I hadn’t read. I think Jolyne is now one of my favorite characters of all time, and I’m really glad I decided to read part 6. I also ended up reading Purple Haze Feedback, and I’m currently slowly reading Jorge Joestar. I’m not sure if I would really recommend Jojo to anyone, but I certainly enjoyed it, and I’m excited for part 9!

I also read Shadows House, several Junji Ito story collections, as well as Sensor, and some continuing and new Shonen Jump series

Oddtaxi ⚠️ TW for: abuse, violence ⚠️

Oddtaxi is about Odokawa, a walrus taxi diver in Tokyo, and the conversations he has with his passengers. There’s so much more to Oddtaxi then that, but I really reccomend just jumping in and watch it. It’s a really well done mystery, and it had really interesting and fun characters. I really can’t say anything anyone else hasn’t said, so I’ll just tell you to go watch it one more time.

Sonny Boy is about a group of middle school students getting mysteriously transported to a strange, deserted world. Things only get stranger as the students attempt to return home. Sonny Boy is a beautifully done anime, with interesting visuals and fantastic visual design. I also really enjoyed how the series didn’t really have much music: it made the scenes with songs that much more impactful. I did find is sometimes confusing, and I think I should probably rewatch to fully get it.

Ranking of Kings ⚠️ TW for: depictions of abelism ⚠️

Ranking of Kings is about Boji, a deaf and mute prince, struggling to become a king with the help of his first real friend, a shadow assassin named Kage. Ranking of Kings has made me cry several times, and only the first 11 episodes are out! All of the characters are really interesting studies of typical fairy tale characters, turning the viewers expectations on their head. I’m so excited for the rest of the season.

I also really loved Paranoia Agent, Vanitas, VIVY, Iruma-Kun, and the second seasons of Magia Record and Dr. Stone. 

Some movies I enjoyed this year include House (⚠️ TW for: blood, nudity ⚠️), an incredibly delightful and surreal haunted house movie, Angel’s Egg, a movie about a young girl protecting an egg in a dystopian landscape, and Perfect Blue (⚠️ TW for: rape, nudity, unreality, blood, stalking ⚠️), a movie about an idol turned actress and her deteriorating mental health.

Arcane (⚠️ TW for: blood ⚠️) was an amazingly animated and written series. Everything, from the plot to the animation to the sound design to the voice acting was done with such care and attention. I really home more western adult animated series are like this in the future! 

Star Trek Lower Decks + Prodigy + Discovery. This was really a Star Trek year! I really enjoyed Season 2 of Lower Decks, and both Prodigy and Discovery S4 are good so far. I also watched What We Do In The Shadows, Midnight Mass, and Squid Game this year.

The Locked Tomb Series (⚠️ TW for: gore, blood, body horror, suicide ⚠️). The Locked Tomb is literally so fucking good go read it right now. Genuinely I have no notes. There’s lesbians, there’s necromancers, there’s horror, there’s space travel, there’s tragady, literally everything I’ve ever needed in a book.

Discworld. I started to slowly read the entire Discworld series this year. My favorites so far are Wyrd Sisters and Guard, Guards, and I’m currently on Moving Pictures. I also read the Haunting of Hill House, which was both terrifying and hauntingly sad. I also reread The Sandman for the first time in several years to prepare for the tv show.

Deltarune. Normally I don’t play any video games outside of Super Tux and Tetris, but I decided to play this when Chapter 2 came out, and I had so much fun. I’m so excited to the rest of the game to come out!

[big-girl-toaster]

Emily Sonnett - player analysis

A compilation of Sonnett‘s strengths, weaknesses (cause everyone has them) and general observations from Portland and USWNT games (mostly from 2018 and 2019) ft. my irrelevant opinion.

Enjoy!

Before I’ll start a few notes:

I’m obviously not a professional soccer analyst person or whatever, so please don’t come for my ass. These are just patterns or reoccurring things in Sonnett’s game I observed while rewatching tons of PTFC and USWNT games. 

I will focus on a few key points, that doesn’t mean that she has deficiencies in other aspects, sometimes it’s just hard to show them and I tried to avoid stating arguments without giving visual evidence. (All the links and credits are below the gifs)

I would love it if you gave additions, feedback or criticism to this post but all in all I just hope that you enjoy reading a bit about Sonnett’s more professional side and soccer tactics in general.

Please let me know if the format is weird, I’m still figuring out how to make big posts.

I sincerely apologize for the low quality of gifs, as I said, I’m figuring things out and I wasn’t able to upload proper clips.

And lastly, Sonnett is a precious little bean and I enjoyed making this more than I should have. Also, did I use this as an excuse to spend days on end rewatching old games? Yes I did.

I will start with three main strengths I think she brings to the pitch:

Communication / Leading the back line                                               (this is in regards to her position with the Thorns, I will talk about the differences between PTFC/USWNT later on)

As a center back you naturally have a more responsible role in terms of shifting players that are in front of you and communicating things to them they can’t necessarily see. Sonnett embraces that role completely and at 25 years old she is at the level of world class CBs in that regard. A lot of players take on that role much later in their career. Her college coach Steve Swanson for the University of Virginia said about her:

"There is a standard of focus and intensity that Emily demands of the players that play around her. She’s not afraid to hold her teammates accountable in that regard. That was one of the unique aspects of our team dynamic this year, is that Emily's style of leadership is different than the team was used to. I think the team has recognized that the qualities Emily has, we need.“

http://www.espn.com/espnw/news-commentary/article/14100802/virginia-emily-sonnett

This clip I wanted to show you is from a situation that is very common for a defensive line but overlooked bc we as viewers naturally tend to look at the movement of the ball. It’s the intentional shifting of the back line in the exact right moment to let an opposing attacker run into offside. In the original video you can hear Sonnett shout “DROP THE LINE“ and Menges and Kling follow her movement which results in Alex being successfully caught offside at the side line. 

((Tumblr won’t let me upload video clips, so here’s a crappy gif (look at Sonny and Menges), click the link to get to youtube, it’s at 21:30))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JGM6Nju0b4

A simple moment but a very crucial part of back line coordination.

      2.    Box positioning

A.k.a. one of the most important parts of good defending. Sonnett covers runs from attackers almost always with textbook precision. She anticipates passes and is able intercept balls which makes her a proactive rather than a reactive player. When she does have to go for a tackle she brings a feistiness that she probably learnt from a certain Kelley O’Hara I can imagine. She usually opts for slide tackles and that decision could be debatable if you’re the coach but it’s just so good to look at tbh

(credit to @geekmythologys for the last gif)

But anyway, her box positioning. Having watched a lot of games with my eyes glued to number 16, I can of course safely say that Sonnett knows what she’s doing. But I’ve been thinking more and more that she often has a sort of intuitive approach when it comes to box positioning in particular. For this next clip I’m gonna need your opinion. Normally I wouldn’t tell Sonnett to abandon her player in that moment, especially bc it creates a 3v2 situation on the attackers left side and also considering the angle in which Dunn is facing the goal. However, she steps in and is able to block the ball.

to see it properly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ev3SFCmbqQ  at 15:40

What do you think?

Oh and this is just excellent clearance work. AD was certainly hyped about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvcOuadyFu4

    3.   Offensive effort

Sonnett is one of the highest scoring CBs of the league but her offensive efforts aren’t measurable in just goals. For corner kicks she likes to do the near-post run Julie Ertz style and has been successful in the past, most notably the 2-0 in the semifinal 2017 against Orlando (which resulted in this gem of a gif):

She likes to stay up top for a bit when her position is covered by someone else and tbh I’m living for these moments.

Here she encourages quick playing and would have gotten through with it if the nwsl had good refs. She didn’t even touch her. (get it? haha) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOIDLJ4ZL1A

Here she drives the ball after winning it, even if her teammates are pushing up late and then she stays up front to participate in the counter attack. Unfortunately nothing evolves out of this situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ev3SFCmbqQ

Right. Those were the strengths, in terms of weaknesses, I don’t wanna pick apart the smallest things but this is what I found:

Misjudged midfield positioning

We’ve talked about her excellent positioning in the box, however, a huge part of modern soccer is having the Center Backs pushed up to the half-line (as well as inverted outside backs but that’s another point). And what I’ve noticed is that sometimes during turnovers Sonnett goes in to put pressure on the player and with that an even wider space opens up behind her that the opposing team could exploit. Like in this picture.

Blue is the ball movement, red (Sonnett) goes in when in my opinion green (Lindsey) should have been the one putting pressure on the ball bc now Daly can run into that open space. 

Luckily Sonnett’s speed prevents Houston from getting anything out of it but Daly tried it several times during the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOIDLJ4ZL1A

My second example is that iconic tactical foul against ARod that we all remember.

Her positioning isn’t optimal, Klings pass isn’t the best, ARod gets her off of the wrong foot, she can’t turn around fast enough and has to stop her with a professional foul which is (I’ll say it again) demanded by coaches in situations like that. But anyway, tumblr has talked enough about this game rip

      2. Determining the biggest threat

This is a minor one, because Sonnett is usually really good at reading the game and making the right decisions. However in this game against Australia, she tries to cover the space behind Dahl which is technically reasonable but considering how wide open the Australian is, she should have closed her in earlier. That little hop inside the center of the field made the difference and the opposing player was able to score. 

I think it’s safe to say that stuff like this comes with age and experience. And again, Sonnett is only 25!

(The whole game against Australia is awesome for spotting strengths and weaknesses, plus we get tons of Sonny close-ups thus I can recommend rewatching it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBNvE3owllY

Two more things I wanted to include are two risks that could be relevant in the future.

From time to time she doesn’t control her arm movement in the box.

This is obviously the natural thing you do when you make a move like that but with the new rules by Fifa, defenders are more and more limited and this would have been a penalty if it had hit her arm. Idk it could bite her in the ass at some point.

      2. Intuitive positioning 

We’ve talked about this and people might have different opinions on it. I personally think though that this might make the difference between a great and a world class defender. So I say go for it Sonny.

Phew, I’m almost done guys, congrats for getting this far, I hope it’s interesting at all.

The last thing I wanna mention is this: The difference between Portland Sonnett and National Team Sonnett, a.k.a. CB Sonnett and RB Sonnett.

Even though as a right back your role is more offensive, I feel like Sonnett has to be pushed to go for it. She rarely does those runs in behind the winger and towards the end line. When she does it it’s great but compared to Kelley she simply isn’t there yet. It also seems to me like for Portland she takes more liberties in pushing forward which maybe is a confidence thing as well. She is a given for the Thorns but had to fight to regain that roster spot for the NT in 2017 after not being called up for several months. Maybe the fear of making mistakes bc of being out of position hinders her a bit? (I’m saying this while being aware that I of course don’t know what the coaches want her to do and what the different game plans require of her.) Anyway, I love her 1v1 defending as RB. I think she is underrated and absolutely deserves a spot on the Olympic roster next year. 

One last low quality gif because we gotta stay on brand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBNvE3owllY

Well that’s it, I hope you enjoyed it. Again, I’d be grateful for additions, opinions, feedback, whatever. 

Thanks for reading :)

[doomonfilm]

Favorites : Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)

I love martial arts movies.  I love revenge films.  I love the films of Quentin Tarantino.  I’m pretty sure this is why sometime in 2001 or 2002, when I heard the news of Kill Bill being in the development stages, I knew I was in for a treat.  The premise sounded strong, the cast connected to it at that time was already stellar, and Tarantino was hitting a stride unparalleled in regards to his creative abilities and box office draw.  Needles to say, Kill Bill Vol. 1 hit the general viewing public like an atomic bomb, firmly cementing Quentin Tarantino as a legend.

B------ (Uma Thurman) is dead set on revenge after being left for dead by her former lover Bill (David Carradine) and her former team, the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.  After recovering from being shot in the head by Bill, B------ revives her Black Mamba (former code name) mentality in hopes of crossing names off of her literal kill list.  (NOTE : due to the serialized format of the Kill Bill saga, Vol. 1 focuses on Black Mamba’s recovery, her search for a sword crafted by legendary smith Hatori Hanzo (Sonny Chiba), and her encounters with Oren Ishii (Lucy Liu) a.k.a. Cottonmouth and Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox) a.k.a. Copperhead).

To use a cliche phrase I use more often than I’d like, this film really hits the ground running... it is jarring from the start, and it never truly lets up to breathe, only to readjust.  Quentin Tarantino was clearly running on high cylinders in terms of style and inspiration during the production of this movie, as it has some of the most focused and intense energy found in any of his films.  Ultimately, what we’re given is a high-voltage mix of revenge thriller and ‘lone-wolf, lone-cub’ setup story.  The highest respect and regard to history is shown to the martial arts film genre, including a beautiful nod to Bruce Lee’s iconic outfit from Game of Death during the go-home section of Vol. 1. 

Again, there is an infectious energy found in all aspects of this movie, from the diversity of cast down to visual and sound design.  On top of this, there is an amazing plethora of locations and sets, which expands the world of the film, and by proxy, the lore, as the entire presentation comes off as larger than life.  Despite the non-linear presentation, the raising of stakes plays in a very linear nature (minus the initial shooting prior to the opening credits).  The sequence leading up to and including the Crazy 88 is easily some of my favorite filmmaking I’ve ever witnessed.

Amazing choreography and use of environment is found in every combat scene, thanks to the work of legend Yuen Woo Ping and his team.  Like and Tarantino film, there is plenty of humor to be found, even in the most tense moments.  A completely mind-blowing animated sequence emerges from thin air, but helpfully desensitizes the presentation of otherwise problematic subject matter in the form of gratuitous violence and pedophilia found in the backstory of Oren Ishii.  Like the many locations, there is an impressive variety and implementation of weapons to also be found and enjoyed.  Tarantino manages multiple musical reappropriations of material connected to other properties that perfectly help set tone or pace scenes.  Several breathtaking camera moves and cuts are present, many of which are overshadowed by the pure spectacle of the film as a whole.

Uma Thurman’s commitment to both the glorious and the less than flattering aspects of the role completely sells the film, making it impossible to not find a connection to her character or the motivation for her journey.  Vivica A. Fox helps thrust the movie forward with matching motherly energy, proving herself to be dangerous while validating Thurman’s character’s abilities.  Lucy Liu embraces her boss role, carrying a dignity and quiet ferocity she’s always let boil under the surface in past roles.  Gordon Liu shines as the boss prior to the final boss, setting us up for a wonderful dual-role payoff in the following film.  Chiaki Kuriyama nearly steals the show as the sadistic and vicious Go-Go.  Sonny Chiba continues his string of roles as the wise and inspirational legend, continuing to help blur the line between the man and the myth, with plenty of wonderful support from Kenji Oba.  James and Michael Parks bring a natural connection to the screen that permeates, making their brief appearance one of the most memorable.  The restraint with which Tarantino uses David Carradine, Michael Madsen and Daryl Hannah in Vol. 1 sets them up perfectly for larger appearances in Vol. 2.  Julie Dreyfuss, Ambrosia Kelly and The 5.6.7.8′s also make special appearances. 

As wonderful as Kill Bill Vol. 1 is, it is honestly only half of a film, if taken at face value.  I always found myself bothered when people would refer to this as ‘the better movie’, as this film is only the inciting incident, main character background and rising action of what would be a complete story.  It is for these exact reasons that I cherish both films, and I secretly wish for there to be a Criterion Collection Director’s Cut one day, where Quentin Tarantino restores his original vision and unites the films as one. 

[reviewmedia]

I, Robot

Disclaimer this review contains spoilers for I, Robot (2004).

“What does this action signify ;)”

Bio

I, Robot is a sci-fi thriller, released in 2004. Set in 2035 the story follows Del Spooner, a detective with a chip on his shoulder as he investigates the death of scientist and founder of USR, Alfred Lanning.

Acting

Will Smith (who plays Del Spooner) clearly gave this his all and it’s one of his better performances. It doesn’t matter if he’s delivering one liners (which there are plenty) or giving an emotional performance because Smith hits the right notes. Similar can be said for his co-star Alan Tudyk (who played Sonny). Unfortunately, Bridget Moynaha (who played Susan Calvin) performance fell a bit flat but does improve through the course of the film. While I didn’t have an issue with any of the other actors’ performances, I was disappointed with the lack of time spent with these characters. This became frustrating as I was curious to get to know these characters but the film never got further than outlining their relationship with the protagonist and demonstrating how Spooner was alone in his distrust of robots.   

Writing

For the most part I didn’t have an issue with the writing. The characters all had clear opinions and felt unique. Smith is given a lot of jokes to work with and I found these to be genuinely funny. That being said the writing wasn’t perfect. As mentioned above the side characters were severely underdeveloped and to a lesser extent so were the lead roles. An example is that Lanning (portrayed by James Cromwell) hints that his relationship with Spooner isn’t normal, yet we never find out why. We know he worked on Spooner’s prosthetic arm but it felt as if there was more history between them that wasn’t explored. There were also some inconsistencies such as Spooner being afraid of heights near the end of the movie, but leaning over the edge where Lanning had been killed at the beginning of the movie. The later scene would have been more consistent and tense if Spooner had displayed how uncomfortable he was in the beginning of the film when he was in Lanning’s office.

Story

At its heart I, Robot is a crime story in a futuristic setting and for the most part it’s done well. I liked that Sonny was originally portrayed as an antagonist. I thought it was convincing due to his introduction and the chase that followed. I also really enjoyed how the story was told, seeing Spooner investigate Lanning’s death never felt like a chore. This was of course due to how fast pace it was, which was at times to its detriment. Certain elements could have been explored more. But the positive was that the film never stagnated and remained engaging. The villain’s motive was nothing new or ground breaking. I personally liked that V.I.K.I’s goal wasn’t to end mankind, but was a misguided attempting to protect humanity as a collective. My biggest complaint in regards to the story was the lack of themes explored and the lost potential. For example, V.I.K.I (portrayed by Fiona Hogan) claimed that humanity was destructive and was set on its own extinction. Yet we see no evidence of this in the film, in fact the lack of world building is such a shame because the movie would have really benefited from it. We see many examples of how society trusts robots and I really do like how they’re implemented into the world. But we never go beyond that, leaving the world feeling two dimensional. The other issue I had was Lanning’s overall plan relying too much on chance. He essentially kills himself with the assistance of Sonny and expects Spooner to figure everything out. I also didn’t understand why he had to die as at the time of death the NS-5’s weren’t connected to V.I.K.I. Meaning there wasn’t much threat of being attacked. The film tries to suggest no one would believe him, but even if that was the case (which I don’t know why they wouldn’t as he’s a well-respected expert in that field) he could have just gone rogue and killed V.I.K.I himself, sure he’d be sued and lost lots of money but he’d be alive. The final issue I had with the story was the lack of consequence, by the end of the movie the only characters to have died (excluding Lanning) were the villain (V.I.K.I) and the antagonist who we had been lead to root against until the climax of the film.

Cinematography 

In regards to cinematography I, Robot takes inspiration from The Matrix. This is defiantly one of the films strengths. Seeing Smith wield a giant futuristic machine gun, tearing apart robots. While the camera moves around the interior of a sky scrapper, showing not just how outnumbered the hero is but also how easy it would be to fall was disorientating in the best kind of way. Fortunately, there are many moments like this that do a really good job at creating tension and setting the right mood. There are some truly epic action sequences that kept me on the edge of my seat. The director (Alex Proyas) proves he’s capable at pulling off more than action scenes. With flashbacks, tense chases and even a montage, all of which I’m happy to say still hold up.

Visuals

The visuals for I, Robot are a real mix, the NS-5’s and other robots have aged surprisingly well. Obviously if the movie was released today, I’d expect them to look better than they did, but fifteen years later I’m defiantly not complaining about their appearance and similar can be said about the vehicles. This being said, there is a very heavy reliance on CGI and it shows. Not only does some of the CGI not hold up (exterior of USR building) but the arguably over reliance meant that places that weren’t CGI looked out of place as these scenes didn’t match some of the other scenes and as a viewer this constant switch between CGI and none CGI became jarring. Costumes like the soldiers and S.W.A.T police also looked really cheap and un-tough, resembling something closer to a laser tag outfit.

Audio

Sound design was really good. Marco Beltrami has added so much emotional depth with his music, it doesn’t overstay its welcome and is one of the highlights of the film as it’s cleverly used to create tension. The guns and cars sound believable, with no real negatives to speak of. The audio was clear and impactful with certain moments being very satisfying to hear, such as Sonny using a wire to ping himself to save Calvin.

Misc

I had an issue with how Calvin was treated. When Spooner is first introduced to her, he laughs at her and doesn’t take her seriously. While you could interpret this as Spooner being arrogant and it being an area that we’ll see him grow away from, I wasn’t convinced. This is because near the end of the movie Farber (portrayed by Shia LaBeouf) openly sexualise Calvin in front of her and the only part that Spooner objects to is the use of the word “shit”. This to me comes off as the leading female role being objectified and really didn’t need to be included, it makes for uncomfortable viewing and took away from the experience.

While I, Robot is the name, product placement is the game. I personally didn’t mind this too much and found it humorous. However, the Audi logo sticking out from Spooner’s headrest just seems kind of uncomfortable, but that’s just my opinion.

Verdict

To conclude I rate this film 4/10. I, Robot is a very enjoyable film that’s funny, action packed and is well paced. I had a blast watching this and there really is a lot of fun to have with this film. However, I was really disappointed in the character development and lack of world building and as enjoyable as this movie is, it doesn’t take full advantage of its setting or explore the themes in a meaningful enough way. The reason I, Robot isn’t spoken about as much as other films from 2004 or earlier isn’t because the visuals don’t 100% hold up, it’s because it doesn’t make you think. Sci-fi is a genre where you can explore the impossible, get lost in complex socio-political structures that as alien as they are reflect our own reality. And go beyond the questions of what a soul is. But unfortunately, I, Robot doesn’t do that, instead the film plays it safe with underdeveloped character in a 2D world. The movie has other issues too like some mild sexism (compared to other movies), plot holes, some pretty awful costume designs and CGI, an in-consequential ending and some minor issues like the occasional bit of inconsistent dialog or some bad acting. 

Recommendation 

Would I recommend this film? That depends what you’re interested in. If you want a fast pace action movie in a sci-fi setting, then yeah you won’t be disappointed. But if you yearn for a film that makes you question if humanity is going too far creating artificial intelligent and whether or not robots/AI should be entitled to the same rights humans are or other similar question. Then I’m afraid no, I cannot recommend this.

 PUNISHMENT: Converse all stars vintage 2004

[thedreadvampy]

So Love, Death and Robots...

Ok, like the first 4 were all, in different ways, really pretty good, and there are a couple of other good offerings in the mix, although a lot of the otherwise good ones fumbled the landing a little and left me feeling slightly unsatisfied.

Sonnie’s Edge was a solid opener, not my favourite in the world (and the accents felt really fake if I’m honest - if you say they’re from Newcastle give your characters Geordie accents, you cowards, none of this ‘generic working class Brit’ bollocks), but the twists were good, the characters had some life to them, and while I am a biiit eeehhhhhh about the Rape As Backstory element, it wasn’t egregious and the story was well put together and rattled along at a fair pace. I would have liked a bit more information about where her anger came from, since she shrugs off the idea that it’s from her Traumatic Backstory, but that’s really my only criticism. Animation-wise I’m not the biggest fan of photorealistic scifi animation, and the monster designs are fine but not mindblowing, but it’s doing what it does solidly (although I don’t know why that one character has her tits all the way out in her regular costume, it’s a bit Teenage Boy Scifi but it’s still a cool costume and I like the blacklight effects). The theme for me here is competent - nothing in the story or the animation was stand-out exciting for me but it was all done well, paced well, animated and designed very well, but it all sort of hit a “good but not great” note for me if I’m honest.  4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀

Three Robots was fun and engaging, if a bit superficial - it’s more of a series of stitched-together vignettes than a story, and other than the central characters, the world, and the cat very little connects the scenes, but that’s fine, it’s a worldbuilding exercise and it does what it’s doing pretty well. I really dig the character designs, especially the big blocky triangle robot - I’m a sucker for highly variable robots existing in the same world and I always appreciate effective non-humanoid character design. Also I did really enjoy the closing twist, that gave me a giggle. 4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 

The Witness was also really good but missing something. I loved the animation and character design, the comic book sound effects were occasionally a little clunky and distracting but the Comicsness of it was really working for me. I liked the story - it telegraphed part of the ending very deliberately but kept you guessing about the details and then pulled a pretty effective twist at the end anyway - and the characters managed to convey a lot of personality without a lot of explanation. There was a pleasing sense of inevitability to it, and while I kind of wanted a bit of explanation I think it was probably the right decision to leave it ambiguous. I did leave it feeling a little unsatisfied in an indefinable way, but looking back I think it would not have been made better by being any more explicit about what it was trying to convey.  4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 Suits, the one with the redneck mecha pilots, was far and away the tightest and most satisfyingly put together in the whole show for me - I liked the animation style a lot for it, it was funny and emotionally engaging, and while it wasn’t breaking much new ground it was beautifully paced, kept you invested and made you care about the characters, and was probably the only one which I had absolutely no complaints or lingering disappointments at all with. 5/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖��� .........aaaaaand then it all went wrong a bit for me because the episodes I genuinely solidly enjoyed got much fewer and further between as the bulk of stories got increasingly adolescent and superficial (I know, I know, it’s called Love, Death and Robots, it was always going to be a bit Teenage Boy, but the first 4 were all solid enough that I was feeling positive about it) Sucker of Souls was...fine. Characterful animation, uptempo pace, good character design (although GOD those ACCENTS, please stop and hire Actually British and Actually Irish voice actors if you’re planning on having British and Irish characters). It just felt completely hollow, though. Like, why do I care about this happening? Most of the characters are reasonably likeable if pretty stock, but the actual protagonist has nothing to him except Gruffly Macho Mercenary #4518B, and the plot is paper-thin and utterly unsatisfying. Monster exists, hubris of man raises monster, monster does something gratuitiously gory (if well-animated), people run away from monster, kill monster with guns and explosions, oh no what a twist we’re still in trouble, cut to black. And there was just nothing added to that, nothing clever or imaginative or unexpected, and the only twist they managed was that their Big Triumphal Moment was totally pointless. I thought they were going somewhere interesting with the cats thing and then it just got dropped and we went back to guns and explosions. I get doing something like this as a character piece but a) the characters just aren’t interesting enough to prop it up and b) the stakes aren’t balanced right for it to work (heh, stakes). It feels like this was just ‘I have a cool character design for Dracula and a couple of setpiece ideas’ and the whole short was just a vehicle for that, but while those things were cool they weren’t cool enough to make half an hour of TV feel worth it. It’s nice to see 2d animation but the animation style is only really ‘fine’ to me. This episode feels like someone really liked Hellboy but is not nearly as good a writer as Mike Mignola. 2/5 robots 🤖🤖💀💀💀 When The Yoghurt Took Over was fun enough. It didn’t have much more to it than ‘it would be funny if yoghurt took over the world’ but sometimes that’s enough. The animation’s cute and the idea is original enough to be funny and indepth enough to keep you engaged - I like a lot of the visual gags, even if they were a bit on the nose, and I enjoyed the vibe of it. It felt like a really odd fit with the rest of the show, though, and I’m not sure what tone the ending was trying to strike. Overall, 3.5/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖💀💀  (imagine I can emoji half a robot) Beyond the Aquila Rift, like Sonnie, is wholly competent and also pretty rote. The twist was telegraphed from a mile off, and imo the episode only manages to fill a full 15 minutes because like 3 of those minutes are just sex scenes without much substance. Again, photorealistic animation isn’t my bag, but even that considered the faces were carefully-textured enough that mid-tier animation made it all feel a bit Bioware and got in the way of me empathising with the characters. The story is an absolute off-the-rack sci-fi classic, and there’s no real twist on it - if I’d never seen this story played out before it might have worked, but I have seen approximately 20000000 versions of it and this just wasn’t bringing anything new. I liked the navigator character, when she was in it, and the design was competent, but it just did nothing for me because it all felt deeply generic and so the episode just dragged on with nothing new or exciting. 2.5/5 robots  🤖🤖💀💀💀 Good Hunting is another one where I liked bits of it but felt like it didn’t really go anywhere with its premise. I like the idea of contrasting traditional fantasy tropes with scifi, and I do like to see steampunk that legitimately grapples with the colonial baggage, but it just felt like it didn’t have much room to grow. The mechanical animation was really pretty - I especially liked the scene with the automatic hare - and the story was solidly paced, plus I do like when stories have a go at recontextualising traditional Seductress Monsters, buuuut to be honest it felt like a bit of a letdown. Where it hit, it hit solidly - I liked the throughline about how she felt like she’d become what he had thought her mother was, and the parallels between his experience of working for the British and her experience of sex work for them - but I think the issue for me is that, while I liked Liang and felt like he was well fleshed out, this felt like it should have been Yan’s story and it just wasn’t, really. Also I’m not very clear on what the point of the robotics work was - symbolically it works on some levels but I don’t know if it actually helps along the core theme, although the more time I spend with the idea the more it’s working for me. Still, I think we could have done with cutting the wuxia-ey scene at the beginning in half to make room for a little more meat at the end. 4/5 robots  🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 Ugly Dave. It’s fine. Nothing to write home about. The gag is pretty clear from the off, and doesn’t really build up into anything other than the obvious, but the animation is nice, the character design is strong and the jokes are adolescent but well-delivered. 3/5 robots  🤖🤖🤖💀💀 Shape-Shifters. I don’t know how this one was because it bored and annoyed me so much that I skipped to the next episode after 5 minutes. Ugh. Yeah. They’re werewolves and their squad is mean to them even though they’re real good at war. I assume that the only reason this isn’t called Dog Soldiers is because there’s already a film called Dog Soldiers about werewolf squaddies which the target audience of this short film, edgy teenage boys with a hardon for modern military propaganda, already like (side note: I didn’t get to the bit where presumably they eventually transform. but I flicked through a few frames on the tracker bar and they looked like incredibly generic wolves). My guess is that probably at the end they a) save their squad despite being discriminated against or b) the more annoying one gets killed by his own side. probably both. idk, I noped out because it was just wanking off the concept of the modern military and our two protagonists were two obnoxiously macho army men talking about how unfair it was that nobody appreciated how GOOD THEY WERE AT KILLING FOR ‘MURICA mission accomplished etc. Oh, and the animation style was another incredibly uninteresting photo-realistic but video-game animated pile of boring. 0/5 robots, too bored to actually watch it  💀💀💀💀💀

However, luckily just as I was getting Very Bored of Shooty Shooty Bang Bang adolescence, there were a succession of really nice character pieces

Helping Hand was a great small-scope short story. A lot of the episodes are really bombastic but Helping Hand is small and contained and character-driven and I liked it quite a bit. The animation is once again photorealistic, but to be honest that works well for me here because the movements are really believable, there’s a good reason to use animation instead of live actors (because it’s a situation where you’d either need a really expensive shooting setup or to mostly animate it anyway), and I think that the personal struggle would have had a lot less impact if the animation was more stylised. It’s a bit gross but beautfiully paced and tense (and the character’s Irish accent isn’t ear-burningly awful this time!) I will also say that of all of them, this character design feels the least male-gazy and the most like an actual person.  4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 Fish Night was unexpectedly gorgeous! I really don’t rate the animation style of pseudo-cel 3d with heavy lineart, and I was all set to find this episode ugly, but it’s honestly stunning. It feels like some of the best Nobrow comics, I can almost smell litho ink and feel heavy paper. It’s just got such a beautiful artistic sensibility. Storywise it’s a little weak - the characters are solid and the wonder is real but it just doesn’t really go anywhere, and it just sort of ends, it could really have done with a few seconds of closing scene because it felt like it just cut itself off  - and I’m not sure it’s anything meatier than a beautiful piece of visual work, but it’s allowed to be that and it does it stunningly!  4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 Lucky 13 isn’t really up my alley (although Samira Wiley puts in a great performance and I love her) and it’s another one where I sort of think, you know, why is this an animated piece if you’re just going to mocap everyone and set most of the action in cockpits and in a hangar, but it rattles along well and does what it wants to do, which is to be a solid Hero Pilot And Ship story. I just don’t actually want to be watching military dramas, but at least it’s much, MUCH better executed than Shape-Shifters both in terms of animation and storytelling, the characters are likeable, and the pacing is good.  3/5 robots  🤖🤖🤖💀💀 Zima Blue. LOVE LOVE LOVE this story, brought down only by the fact that I, uh, kind of hate the art style? A lot? It’s a matter of personal taste but that angular, geometric, leggy thing does nothing for me, although the environments are really nice. But the actual story is clever, original and a little bit silly in all the ways I like my scifi to be, plus it explores some interesting themes of consciousness and happiness. And the twist in the tail is really nice and fairly unexpected.  4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 Blindspot is dull, dull, dull, desperately dull and generic. We’re back on the adolescent Shooty Boom Boom bullshit, with poorly established stakes that never really get resolved, uninteresting and unpleasant characters, and a completely textbook story. The female character is apparently only there to make brain-itchingly bad Sassy Oneliners and have one scene where she shoots some guys, all of the characters have taken their personalities from the 15 Year Old Boy’s Guide To Being A Cool Rude Badass, the character designs are cluttered and not amazing, and there’s nothing original or exciting happening, it’s just a series of different shaped guns. The ending at least has a strong idea of what it’s doing, and almost works, but it’s dragged down by the fact that it relies on me being sad that these characters have got stomped, and I’m afraid that’s a lot to ask with characters as annoying and unpleasant as these. 1/5 robots  🤖💀💀💀💀 Ice Age. It’s a fun little concept. I’m not sure it really goes anywhere much but it’s quirky and very nicely put together, and it gave me a chuckle.  3/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖💀💀 Alternate Histories feels like something I’d see on Newgrounds in 2004, but slightly polished up and expanded on. Ha ha ha Hitler gets killed in various ways, which was definitely hilarious when I was 12. It’s much more interested in coming up with funny ways Hitler might die than it is in exploring any alternate histories that might result, despite the framing device (and also weirdly seems to imply that Nazi victory would be a good thing in one scenario?). I’ve used the word adolescent a lot here but this one isn’t even really adolescent in its sensibilities, it feels aimed at 10-13 year olds. 2/5 robots  🤖 🤖💀💀💀 The Secret War closes out the series in a way that feels consistent with the overall sense I got from Love, Death and Robots, in that it’s solidly made and not particularly original. But I did like it - the animation is stunning (although I stand by imitation not being the point of animation, it is aiming for realism and it does that almost flawlessly) and it’s surprisingly emotionally engaging. It keeps its focus on the experiences of the soldiers as people rather than on the concept, which is for the best as the concept is pretty generic, and it produces something with a bit of genuine emotional weight and stakes. It’s basically the exact same base story as Suits, even down to a lot of elements of the monster design, but set in a very different place with very different core characters, and as both Suits and Secret War are really character pieces, they make two very different but very strong stories out of it. This one is really hammering the GRITTY button as hard as it can, but it pulls it off, and while it still felt very pointed at teenage boy sensibilities it was a genuinely engaging and immersive story. If Soul Sucker desperately wanted to be the Hellboy comics, Secret War solidly evokes the Hellboy films but certainly isn’t just trying to be something other than what it is.  4/5 robots 🤖🤖🤖🤖💀 Overall thoughts - like all anthology shows tend to be, Love, Death and Robots is very hit and miss. A lot of episodes are really, REALLY rooted in a teenage nerd boy idea of coolness, and it doesn’t have much interest in criticising or examining what that means, but when it manages to get away from that a lot of these short films are fantastic. I will say that like a lot else, it’s dominated by both white male writers and white male protagonists and/or Strong Female Characters, and again, the best episodes tended to be ones that broke that pattern. From the title and trailer, I was worried about it being a lot more sexualised and gratuitous than it ended up being (although it definitely had its ehhhhhh moments), and I was honestly pleasantly surprised that of 18 episodes, only 2 featured rape-revenge plotlines, and none (maybe one?) were about Evil Seductresses, because given the title I had Concerns. However, it is still overwhelmingly white character-wise, which is a shame - I counted 2 episodes with Asian protagonists and 2 more with Black protagonists, which is relatively good, but there were probably only about 10 named/centred characters of colour all told. I dunno. I’d recommend taking a punt on it but I have Criticisms of the show overall. The good episodes are REALLY good though and I will definitely be rewatching 2 or 3 of them.

[theethird]

My Episode By Episode Review of LOVE DEATH + ROBOTS (SPOILERS, OBV)

SONNIE'S EDGE : What's better than Mecha? Flesh-Mecha. Loved the protagonist and the twist was delivered pretty well, although the ending was more abrupt than I would've liked. I'd watch more of this though. 8/10

BEYOND THE AQUILA RIFT : It's like Dead Space had a baby with Aliens. I liked everything about the ships, the interpersonal relations were a bit meh though. The punchline was a little too much for me as a 15 minute short, probably would've worked better as a prequel to a video game.

THREE ROBOTS : This is comedy gold. I could watch these guys tour the wreckage of our failed world for an entire season, maybe two. If you thought Wall-E would've been better as a PG-13 movie or ever wondered what R2-D2 would sound like in Basic, this is your short. 9/10

SUITS : Old Mac Donald had a farm, *plasma rifle sounds* Art style was great, character dynamics was very good for something so short, appreciated the implied interracial couple and the ending only made me love the entire thing more. I need a mini series of this please.

THE WITNESS: Timeloops and Nudity, I mean if you're Rian Johnson or Joss Whedon, you probably love this entire premise, bonus points for the Asian woman lead. Also worthy of note that it's designed very similarly to Into the Spiderverse. Unfortunately for me, looking like an Oscar winner isn't enough. it wasn't what I wanted, and while I loved the moments of sex positivity, there wasn't a story, just a pseudo trippy chase sequence with no substance. 5/10, skip if you can.

GOOD HUNTING : I loved everything about this story and could easily watch an entire series built from it. The interactions made sense, there were very real stakes and also growth. The payoff didn't take me out of my immersion, and despite the racial and sexual violence triggers present, I think it's one of the stronger entries in this anthology. 9/10

THE DUMP : Grumpy Old Men at a landfill. You've seen this before, you didn't need to see it in CGI. Save yourself the trouble. It's not bad, it's just not good. Honestly doesn't belong next to some of these other shorts on a good day. 6/10, probably skip.

SHAPE-SHIFTERS : This one's a personal favourite, as ive roleplayed plenty of scenarios like this one on message boards back in the day. Upfront, if you hate soldier narratives, this isn't your episode and you should skip it. It's set in the Middle East during what very much appears to be the so- called War on Terror. I liked the camaraderie between the "dog- soldiers" and felt like what I was shown of their relationship to the humans around them matched what ive heard about prejudices in the military. I'd give it an 8, mostly because there wasn't enough world building to justify some of the emotions shown in a short window.

FISH NIGHT: Visually stunning, kinda bored me to be honest though. Didn't much care for either character and didn't really feel a need to rewatch it. That's not to say it's a throw away. If you want to watch a painting and a dream sequence put together, this is your moment. As for me, not enough umph. 6/10

WHEN THE YOGURT TOOK OVER: Straight up 7.5 out of 10 and MOSTLY because it's so short. I was laughing my ass off watching this, it's quirky, it's satirical, it's great. Fuck it. 8.5 out of 10 and fight me on it. I'd watch 10 more episodes about the future that sentient Yogurt built.

ZIMA BLUE : Breathtaking. Lovingly put together and so well presented. It's trippy in a good way and I teared up throughout. It's really an art piece for artists and not in a condescending way. It really speaks to the search that creators go through both within themselves and around them for meaning. 10/10, don't need a sequel but would love more content like it.

SUCKER OF SOULS : I mean it's a fun take on Dracula but then again, Castlevania was already a masterpiece, idk if I needed the 2000s animated version of Team Fortress goes to Transylvania. 7/10 but only because I laughed alot. It's skippable.

LUCKY 13 : Give Samira Wiley ALL the awards. Cast her in every sci fi project you can find because she NAILS everything about this short. I love pilot stories and she really captures the love a pilot has for their ship as well as their unit. 10/10, give me more damnit.

THE SECRET WAR : It's a great war meets the supernatural story. Too short honestly but I enjoyed it fully. It's been done before but I'd still recommend it because it's got alot of heart in it. I'd only allow a skip if you just aren't into WW2/ Cold War era stories about Russian soldiers. 7/10

ALTERNATE HISTORIES : Started off fun, went left and stayed left. I'm kinda over the Hitler jokes by now. 6/10.

BLINDSPOT : It's Borderlands meets Fast and Furious but with ROBOTS. I'd play the hell out of a video game about this crew, would watch a season's worth about them, honestly my only gripe with it is that it didn't blow me away like i was led to believe. It's fun, it's not revolutionary, but please give me more. 8/10

ICE AGE : If you've ever wanted to watch a world grow at your fingertips, if you're a fan of Civ and The Sims but don't know what to do when the game finally ends, this is your story. It's the only live action entry but it's worth the watch. Kinda missed watching Topher Grace in things. 9/10

HELPING HAND : It's gravity but with more blood and a fiery red head. Nothing new to see here folks, totally skip if you aren't down to watch someone lose an arm to the vacuum of space. 6/10

[everyshipneedshiscompass]

The Star article: Moir and Virtue make elegant tandem

February 5, 2010

Rosie DiManno

In one of his goofier moments – and those are frequent – Scott Moir claimed that Tessa Virtue has been crushing on him since they met.

She just rolled her doe eyes, fluttering long lashes.

The team has got this kind of Sonny and Cher shtick going, for those who can remember back that far, when Chastity was still a baby and, um, female. He's the zinging wiseass; she's the long cool glass of water.

Together, they've struck a skating and character balance that vaulted the Canadian duo from world junior champions to Olympic gold-medal prospects in what passes for a nano-second in ice dancing's glacial evolution.

Truth is, they are not now and have never been romantically involved, though expressively looking the part in sensuous programs that capture both artistry and athleticism, taking the sport to heights of dazzling contortion never quite seen before. Yet there's a classical elegance in their style that has captivated judges since the tandem burst on the senior circuit, rewarded silver and bronze at the world championships in this recent Olympic quadrennial.

Four years ago, for Turin, the then-teenagers didn't make the Games cut, which stung, but Canada already had long-reigning national champions in Marie-France Dubreuil and Patrice Lauzon, who might very well have pulled down an Olympic title had she not gone flying in a ligament-tearing lift.

"As soon as we found out we didn't make the team in '06, that really resonated,'' recalls Virtue. "We made it a goal from that day that we wanted to be a strong part of the 2010 team. It was a tough thing to go through. But looking back, it was one of the best things that could have happened to us because we were able to come on to the senior team the following year and make a splash.

"Maybe we wouldn't have been able to do that, had we competed at the Games. But, for sure, when you're so close – it was right in front of us and we were reminded of that so often in our training the last four years.''

They've been skating together for nearly 15 years, since Virtue was 7 and Moir 9, growing up just a few blocks apart in London, Ont. Usually, elite dance teams are assembled later in life, often matched up from wide-flung hometowns by bird-dogging coaches looking for talents that complement each other. At the Olympic level, this sort of bred-in-the-pre-pre-pubescent bones is a rare symbiosis.

Their narrative is nearly duplicated however by U.S. champions Meryl Davis and Charlie White, who've been yoked almost as long. Ironically, the Americans are their training stablemates in Canton, Mich., and primary challengers for Olympic gold.

"We're fortunate enough to train with Meryl and Charlie so we can compare ourselves on a daily basis,'' says Virtue. "That really pushes us in training, seeing them do a run-through. There's that kind of battle.''

Friends, colleagues, but make no mistake – adversaries.

"We feel like we're the Olympic gold medallists and we have the opportunity to bring that gold home,'' Moir states bluntly. "That will be our goal and short of that we would probably be disappointed.''

They've come this far by finding their own groove, their own distinctive presentation on the ice. It combines feather-light delicacy, blurring speed and inventive athletic razzle-dazzle.

It eschews the Vegas sleaze which ice dancing had largely become in the past decade. After experimenting with a cutting-edge Pink Floyd free skate routine last season, they've gone back to a classy signature look with Mahler's Fifth Symphony.

She has a Gibson Girl beauty that furthers their visual charm, yet the team has wickedly difficult and complex manoeuvres – testament to the inventive virtuosity of coaches Marina Zoueva and Igor Shpilband – sometimes belied by a deceptive quiet in execution.

Such smoothness devolves from the yin and yang of a prolonged partnership, an instinctive synchronicity.

"I think maybe the reason we've lasted so long is we respect each other as individuals and, you know, we love each other,'' says Moir, simply.

It's like a close business relationship or, in some ways, a lengthy and comfortable marriage, minus the connubial intimacy. Of course there have been disagreements over the years but never a clash.

"Now we know how to work through those so we don't even get to the point of having an argument,'' says Virtue. "We never get there because we can see it coming from miles away and we know exactly how to handle it.''

Adds Moir: "At this point, this is our job. But, that said, we do care so much about each other and we love each other and we're friends. We have the best of both worlds.''

They're not joined at the hip, which helps. Each has their own set of non-skating friends. After six hours a day on the ice, they find relief in individual social calendars.

"We have lives outside the sports,'' says Virtue. "That's kept us grounded, really helped us keep perspective.''

While Moir is dating another member of the Canadian skating team, there are no jealousies afoot – though some in their family circles still hope that romance might bloom with the dance couple.

"Anybody that Tessa and I end up with in our personal lives would have to understand how much we love skating and how much we love being together on the ice. If they didn't understand that, then we wouldn't be with them,'' says Moir.

Each is the youngest child in their family and both clans have worked hard to deliver their kids to Olympic excellence.

Moir, son of a chemical plant employee and skating coach, has two older brothers. Virtue has a sister and two brothers. Her father is a lawyer, her mother – until moving to Michigan with her daughter for training – used to work in the bar admissions office of the Upper Canada Law Society.

With Moir nodding agreement, Virtue observes: "This is as much their journey as it is ours.''

In Vancouver, the most crucial leg of that journey, all of Canada is invited aboard to enjoy the ride.

[alexanderwrites]

Thoughts Roundup - Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 13

“What Story is That, Charlie?”

Last week, when we were given an episode that was slow, withholding with its information, and for many, very frustrating, I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t worried, because I knew it was just a strange, brief detour and that we should focus on the journey rather than the destination. I also didn’t worry because I thought the next episode would be better, and thankfully I was right. I’m no Angelo Badalamenti, so I won’t toot my own horn too much but I think now, hours after watching it, I’m realising that I was very right, because this isn’t just a better episode, but is one of the all time best Twin Peaks episodes. It keeps that steady pace, but there’s an alchemy of all the ingredients that’ve made this season so great, which tonight forms a cohesive, exciting and deeply involving hour of television. 

. It’s party time for the Mitchum brothers, and party time for the soundtrack producers who give us one of the wildest and weirdest cuts yet. I don’t know how to describe it other than it being a demented casino style nonsense song, and I might be wrong, but the percussion pattern sounds a lot like a sped up version of the drumming in The Bookhouse Boys, a track from the Season 1 soundtrack. It’s nice seeing Coop enjoying himself, and it’s funny how happy he has made the Mitchum brothers, Janey-E, and his boss. The fact that he can still manage this despite being a silent, largely unresponsive man who walks into glass doors, speaks to the innate happiness that Cooper has always brought people, only this time it’s accidental. People want him around, and I think it’d be quite a bittersweet ending if he does wake up and leave for Twin Peaks. Yes, it’d be satisfying for us, but Janey-E wouldn’t have her husband anymore, Sonny Jim wouldn’t have a dad, and The Mitchum Brothers wouldn’t have anyone to buy pie for. Before it becomes the Everybody Loves Dougie show, Anthony steps in to put an end to him, but even he can’t bring himself to poison Dougie to death! So Dougie-Coop has his sharp black suit, a black coffee and a piece of cherry pie. Whereas we once would’ve said “THIS will be what wakes him up!”, we’ve stopped expecting it and instead learned to enjoy the pleasure he takes in scoffing the stuff down. While it can feel melancholy when signifiers from his past edge him towards who he used to be, some of these episodes hint at the idea that maybe he’s happy where he is. We want him to get back to his old self, but do we want that for him or for us? He’s had the food and drink that he loves, he’s walking around amazed by everything, and even uncovered a considerable crime. Everything about him is there, really. And I’m beginning to feel like that’s enough for me. Then the Fusco Brothers attain a crucial piece of the puzzle that’d help get Cooper back home, decide to throw it out, and I laugh “FOR FUCK’S SAKE”. Dougie’s prints reveal that he was an FBI Agent and broke out of a maximum security prison, and away this is tossed because of its unlikeliness. It’s funny, really. Because it is unlikely, it is absurd, and that such an important fact has been discovered and thrown out immediately by the police is hilariously frustrating. I loved this moment, Eric Edelstein’s weird and distinctive laugh commenting on how ridiculous this all is.

. I love how adoringly Janey E looks at Cooper when she opens the car door for him. They’ve come a long way since she was angrily cramming him into the car, and it’s nice to see her not suffering the financial burden that the original Dougie left her in. Naomi Watts is really effective when painting Janey E as someone rediscovering feelings for her husband, and it’s actually kind of touching. And Sonny Jim’s Gym is so fucking bizarre. Why does it play music-box versions of Tchaikovsky? Why does it have a prison-style search light? Why anything? I love it.  

Continuing in the lovey-dovey, not-so-bad-after-all vein of things, this season has had a lot of characters turn out to be not quite as awful as you expect them to be. The Mitchum Brothers showed a kind of generosity, Ben Horne is an altruist, and Anthony has a breakdown in front of his boss and Dougie, claiming he wants to be a better man. I mean, you can’t call him a good person just because he didn’t MURDER COOPER, but it’s nice to get a variety of technically bad people who, when it boils down to it, don’t really want to be that bad. It’s not such a bad world after all, hey?

. Actually yes it because fucking Doppelcoop is on the warpath again, and this time he’s getting what he wants via arm wrestling, just like Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top. And just like Sly claims himself to be in Over The Top, Doppelcoop is a machine, and the amount of control he displays in this scene is really quite frightening. “It hurts when you had my arm like this. Let’s go back to starting position. It’s really much more comfortable”, he says, arm-wrestling a boss of a bunch of bastards so that he can get to bad old Ray. He demonstrates that he has the entire arm-wrestle under his control, and can position his arm wherever he wants without exerting force. He can win, and kill, without trying. This is who Doppelcooper is, and why he is such a formidable force. He rarely exerts power, but when he does it is effortless and unstoppable. He will get what he wants, and every piece of his journey has been carefully manipulated and decided by him, and that’s what this scene shows. The gang watching on heavily resemble the spirits above the convenience store in FWWM, and I think this is a purposeful visual metaphor, a way to tie them visually to the evil that lurks upstairs. When Doppelcoop wins, he gets Ray and the scene that follows is an immensely satisfying one. 

The ring that we’ve seen numerous times gets a visual explanation, sort of. Ray wears it when he is killed by Doppelcoop. It then disappears to the black lodge, where his soul shows up shortly after. It seems to say quite clearly that wear the ring when you die, and you end up on that famous zig zag floor, with fucking Mike. What a bummer he’d be to spend eternity with. Before Ray snuffs it, he talks about Phillip Jeffries, who sent Ray to kill Doppelcoop because he has something he wants, which is Bob, who is in hot demand this season. I’m glad to hear Jeffries mentioned again, and part of me still holds out hope that David Bowie filmed a super duper secret cameo before he passed away, but i’m not counting on it. Maybe the closest we’ll get to seeing him is that mysterious blinking box all those episodes ago. But, Ray claims that he was last seen at a place called The Dutchman’s, and this is all Doppelcoop needs to hear. Ray’s death feels big, not necessarily because he was an important character, but because they discuss Jeffries, the ring and Major Briggs, which all ties into the mythology of the show, a mythology which was also discussed last week with Albert. Now listen, i’m easily pleased when it comes to the Twin Peaks lore - say the words ‘lodge’, ‘blue book’ or even ‘Owl’ to me and i’ll begin jittering in excitement. I may even sick up. But this is more important and integral to the storyline that simply chucking out bits of lore, and that makes it so much fucking cooler. Doppelcoop is working towards it, the Bookhouse Boys are heading towards it and the FBI are heading towards it. The idea of them converging is too fucking exciting to process. So. Ray is dead (Nobody Loved Raymond), and Doppelcoop is on his way to either Twin Peaks via the coordinates that Ray gave him, or The Dutchman’s, wherever the hell that is. 

. Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh are still driving around and i’m guessing, will hook back up with Doppelcoop soon. Their scenes are usually very short, but they’re both such great actors that i’m fine to just hear them shoot the shit for a couple of minutes. 

. Back in Twin Peaks, Becky is still having domestic issues, and Shelly is still being a warm and kind Mum, telling Becky to get to the Double R and have some pie. It’s strange seeing her serving there all these years on, and strange seeing Bobby at the counter, especially because all the camera angles that used to capture the diner are absent, and we’re seeing the place in a completely different visual manner. It feels much more like a legitimate restaurant now, and this is developed with Norma discussing business options with who seems to be her boyfriend. So, no. She didn’t end up with Big Ed, and like Bobby watching Shelly and wondering what might’ve been, Ed watches Norma from a booth further down. He can see her clearly, but she’s a world away. There’s a deep melancholy in seeing Big Ed alone, things clearly not having worked out with either Norma or Nadine. The past, when things looked hopeful, feel like a million years ago, and everything has changed since then. Except for him. Bobby has grown up and become someone his father would’ve been proud of, Norma is franchising, Nadine has perfected the silent drapes. But Big Ed is still pining across the shiny tables for Norma like it’s 1990. 

And Norma is trying to keep things as they are, too. She’s encouraged to change the name of the restaurant, but she wants to keep it as it is, the way people know it. It’s an argument that summarises the attitude of The Return: do you give in and listen to what you’re being told people want, or do you follow your gut and make choices you are passionate about, in the way that you decide? Thank god Lynch and Frost didn’t listen to anyone. Norma knows what the Double R means to the people of the town, and she knows how much people need it, as a source of comfort and of solace. And she can franchise, and have restaurants popping up that try to be the real deal, but there’s really only one Double R, and there’s only one Twin Peaks. And in these scenes, that feeling of solace and comfort feels close yet a million miles away: unmistakably warm, but shot through with that heartrending, small town melancholy. There’s nothing quite like it.

(A little thing I noticed about Bobby - he says he found his dad’s old stuff “today” - but they found his stuff several episode ago, and since then Bobby has been seen at night. So is this Double R scene not chronological, and is actually set a few days back?)

. The reason that the comfort of the Double R feels somehow distant, unattainable and kind of false is because of scenes like Audrey’s in this episode. We can’t sit in the diner and pretend everything is okay in the town, when we know a storm is brewing outside. The argument has moved on between her and Charlie, from being about what has happened to how Audrey feels. And how she feels is heartbreaking. Like she’s not herself and that she doesn’t know who she is, and Charlie’s reaction? Scorn. Condescension. Treating her like the teenager she was when we last saw her. The scene has moved away from feeling frustrating and into nightmarish territory, the wood panelling of the walls making the room feel like a cabin in purgatory, or a real life black lodge. And Charlie’s words become more vague, and more frightening. He speaks of ‘ending her story’, and the discomfort of this scene really brings into the question the dynamics between the two, who he really is, and where they really are. The scene develops an emotional core to the storyline, and we begin to desperately want Audrey to get out from between these two worlds that she’s stuck in, and to leave that horrible room. Like Big Ed, like Cooper and like so many others, she is trying to return, but is stuck. 

. How they’ve managed to make the Palmer living room look more frightening than it did before is beyond me. Sarah drinks and smokes in the sickly darkness, watching a 15 second loop of an ancient boxing match which repeats ad nauseum, like the electric bear that spoke the words “Hello Johnny, how are you today?” endlessly a few episodes back. It feels nightmarish, and you want it to end. But it is stuck. Are we sensing the theme in play here again? The room feels angry and oppressive, and it’s reasonable to expect something evil and awful to materialise in it at any moment. But the horror is not Bob, or the ceiling fan, but the situation of Sarah: a woman who has lost everything, and whose life is full of dread and solitude. 

. Nadine and Dr Jacoby’s interaction is lovely, and feels like a genuine moment between two old friends who haven’t seen each other for many years. Except one has an eyepatch and a silent drape running shop and the other sells golden shit shovels via his angry livestreams. The point is, it feels real, and Wendy Robie still beautifully imbues Nadine with that almost schoolgirlish nervousness and innocence. She is pure in her exuberance towards Jacoby and her drapes, and she seems star struck by her former doctor. I’m so fond of Nadine, and there is a moment that hints at a sadness or darkness in her past, when Jacoby remembers seeing her on her hands and knees in a supermarket trying to pick up a potato. “There was a storm that night”, he says, and she looks afraid, and sad. What happened to her? What happened to all these people in this town? What has time done to them, and why do they all have to live with such pain? 

. And before we know it, we’re back at the Roadhouse, and this week we have probably the most divisive (read: unpopular) performer yet. Yes, it’s James Forehead Hurley, singing Just You and I. I can’t pretend to feel how i’m supposed to feel as a Twin Peaks fan and hate on this, because truly, I loved this moment. I loved it more than any roadhouse scene yet, and I have a big soft spot for James. The poor bastard had a rough time of it, and yes, he was a moody mope, but I feel for him. I was moved by seeing him received so well by the audience, and seeing him perform that song (which I will now have in my head for the next fortnight) made him look young and happy again, and I found it massively touching. It was a bittersweet moment of nostalgic melancholy, elevated by the image of Big Ed back at the Gas Farm, eating his Double R soup all alone. 

There Ed sits, thinking about how things were, and how they are now. Or maybe it’s us that’s thinking about it. Because we can listen to old songs, and sit in the Double R eating cherry pie, but we know evil forces are on their way to town, and already exist there. There is a goodness too, in the log lady, the bookhouse boys, in Ed, Norma, and Nadine. But they’ve been through too much to have that innocence, and the questions that The Return brings us is how can we ever go back to the way things were? And how much power do we have to prevent the bad things from happening again? I’ve been thinking of the song Ohm by Yo La Tengo, where they sing:

“Sometimes the bad days maintain their grip Sometimes the good days fade...

But nothing ever stays the same Nothing's explained”

That feeling, that we might never get back the good days, and that it doesn’t always happen for a clear reason, is prevalent in tonight’s episode, which explores how the characters that populate the show feel. It might not be explained exactly what has happened, but as well as starting to piece together the mystery, Part 13 interrogates the deepest emotional wells of the show, and it results in a moving and beautiful episode that deftly blends darkly satisfying plot progression and emotional complexity (I know it’s weird to call an episode where someone is punched in the face to death “beautiful”, but i’m sticking with it). 

“I’m not sure who I am, but I’m not me”

[litbits]

2018 Books, #16-21

My annual reading round-up of fiction and non-fiction, in my personal ranking, based on how much I enjoyed it, scope of impact on the life of the mind and imagination, and how likely I am to re-read and recommend it. Here’s the tail-end.

16. The Pisces by Melissa Broder (Hogarth, 2018)

Broder is a fantastic, inventive poet, so I was looking forward to seeing what she would do with the novel form, language-wise. It is fantastically smutty, disgusting and really funny at times – all things I appreciated. At its core, this is a story about the despair of compulsion and sex addiction.

Provenance: American Book Center in Amsterdam Fate: Passed on to a friend

17. Minor Robberies by Deb Olin Unferth and 18. Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape by Sarah Manguso (McSweeney’s, 2007)

I’m pairing these two short collections of flash fiction together as they came in a lovely little boxed set published by McSweeney’s (together with a third book of flash fiction by Dave Eggers, and no, I didn’t read his!). The Manguso pieces captured small ignoble moments of childhood – lies, envy, mean deeds. The form leads her to a flat, matter-of-factness in the prose, which works some of the time. My favorites in the Olin Unferth collections were her longer stories, which made me think her style is more suited to longer forms.

Provenance: I won this box set at a poetry reading in Bushwick in 2010 on a second date with Dan. Fate: Unsentimentally donated it to the Boekenzolder; Dan said it was OK, he prefers to be a minimalist.

19. The Godfather by Mario Puzo (1969)

I picked this up during the Kavanaugh hearings and it was a good way to disappear from this world for a while, an absorbing distraction. I would recommend this book only to serious fans of the films. It proves the hypothesis that mediocre books make great films. It’s a pulpy, sometimes clumsily written book that was cut and shaped into elegant, visually rich cinema masterpiece. At its best it feels like novelized DVD extras of cut scenes. Like for example, Tom Hagen’s back story. At its worst there were what I can only guess were attempts to be modern and racy through multiple descriptions of Sonny’s giant schlong; gratuitous side stories of Johny Fontaine’s Hollywood debauchery; and a truly weird extended description of Sonny’s bereaved mistress’s vaginal reduction surgery, including medical terms (the implication being that her vagina was irreparably stretched out by Sonny’s giant schlong??). However, I will give Puzo due credit for putting his finger directly on what fascinates about the mob: the elaborate rituals and code of honor, the will of some men to achieve power and status despite being born to a marginalized class, coupled with the straight-up murderous violence and crime (and misogyny and racism).

Provenance: A gift from Dan to encourage me to read more fun and lighter stuff. Fate: In the “to donate” pile

20. Art Theory: A Very Short Introduction by Cynthia Freeland (Oxford, 2001)

Admittedly, art theory is a really hard topic to distill into “a very short introduction,” but this book didn’t quite do it. The writing was labored despite attempts to simplify ideas, and I want to say it’s almost outdated given its focus on art controversies of the 80s and 90s. (It was published in 2001).

Provenance: Purchased at Van Stockum bookstore in Leiden (R.I.P.) Fate: Donated to Boekenzolder

21. The Risen by Ron Rash (HarperCollins, 2016)

I have mixed feelings about saying harsh things about living writers, but this guy seems to be doing fine, while here I toil in obscurity. So: this book was terrible. I suspect some of his other novels are better - my mom recommended him because she lives in Western North Carolina and he captures life there. (That wasn’t the focus of this particular narrative.) Paper-thin characters, unearned pathos. An alcoholic protagonist -- we know he’s an alcoholic because he refer to the fatal clinking of ice in a glass no less than three times in the course of the novel. A fucked-up hippie girl who initiates him into sex, drugs and alcohol and ends up a dead girl. That kind of thing. 

Provenance: Lent by my mom, who got it from the library Fate: Back to the library

Books I abandoned

Vernon Subutex by Virginie Despentes: A clever cross-section of contemporary Parisian society. I think I fell off because it’s rather bleak, and also includes a lot of French slang, so was slow-going as my French lexicon withered over the years as I mostly just use it for work. This is the first in a celebrated trilogy by Despentes and I hope to get back to it at some point.

Little Fires Everywhere Celeste Ng: I saw this book everywhere and only read good things about it, but I couldn’t get into it, I only made it about 80 pages in. The 90s references were a little too on-the-nose, the teenagers didn’t sound like teenagers, and there was a kind of emotional distance in the voice that didn’t convince me. I saw some readers on Goodreads compare this to young adult fiction in terms of its style – something to think about (what does this mean?), and maybe that’s what bothered me, the kind of psychological flattening at the expense of the narrative.

[ultraericthered]

Y’know what? I ought to present my own version of this, but for anime shows only.

- UPDATED AFTER 2020 -

A Place Further Than The Universe: One cours perfection. 10/10

Ace Attorney: The Animation: Watched both seasons of this at the same time I was getting into the visual novel series. While neither season are as good as the games themselves, they mostly do great at adapting the original and best trilogy of Phoenix Wright. 7.5/10 overall (S1: 7/10, S2: 8/10)

Akame Ga Kill!: Watched this in 2016. Ridiculously try-hard with it’s edginess and bleak, torn-up world. There are some good characters and action scenes to be found, and you can have a lot of fun with its stupidity, but overall it’s not even as good as it’s manga, which wasn’t that much better anyway! 5.5/10

Angel Beats!: Watched and finished it very recently. Absolutely loved it while it lasted, it was hilarious, emotionally resonant and gutpunching in all the best ways. I even got it on Blu-Ray after finishing it, it is that good. The biggest drawback would be that yeah, its storyline was meant to have gotten the two cours treatment in order to properly develop the characters and arcs, as the intention for so much more clearly shows at points. 8.5/10

Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day: First watched this last year and re-watched it this year. Incredibly well done emotional tale of loss, grief, friendships fractured and renewed, growing up and moving on with life even in the wake of tragedy. Menma is among the most precious anime characters ever. Only loses a point for some parts not hitting as strongly as they should’ve, which was thankfully a rarity. 9/10

Assassination Classroom: Seiji Kishi hits it out of the park again with probably the biggest show I’ve seen him direct. Korosensei is an iconic anime character and Sonny Strait plays him to perfection in the dub. The biggest drawback would be that a lot of the student characters are interchangeable and scarcely explored or developed as their own individuals, especially compared to the manga which had more time and opportunity to do so. 8/10 overall (S1: 7.5/10, S2: 8.5/10)

Attack On Titan: Saw some of this in 2016 but haven’t really kept up with it since, but from what I’ve seen and heard, it gets profoundly good. 8/10

Bakugan: Battle Brawlers: Can’t really consider any of the other Bakugan series’ to be ones that I “watched” ‘cause they’re just awful, but this first one was actually pretty enjoyable. This would’ve gotten a solid 5 had it not been for a single character and a single plot twist regarding her, which boosts it’s score considerably. 6/10

Berserk: Haven’t actually watched this in full, but I know enough about it to give it both my respect and my overall disinterest. 5/10

Beyblade: Never really sucked me in. It was mostly pretty stupid. 2/10

Beyblade V-Force: It’s not exactly good, but it’s a notable improvement over the first series. I could actually find myself engaged with this one, particularly whenever the Saint Shields and Zeo Zaggart were around. 4/10

Beyblade G-Revolution: Meh, not as good as V-Force was. 3/10

Black Cat: Watched this in 2014. It was an overall decent Shonen anime with an enticing setting and fun characters, but it really went off the rails from it’s manga counterpart towards the end and that just felt off to me. 7/10

Black Lagoon: A Tarantino style anime, and all that entails, for good and for bad. I find I’m only really watching it for Dutch and/or Revy anyway, and I’m probably hardly alone there. 7/10

Bleach: This series was actually really good in it’s first four or five seasons, but man did it ever go to shit afterwards due to having to adapt a manga that did the same. 4/10

Blood -C: Saw this in 2016. It was...bizarre. Probably one of the most WTF-inducing experience I’ve had with an anime, but it sure left an impression. 6/10

Blue Exorcist: Saw some of this last year, will probably be watching more of it at some point. Pretty weird premise, but I enjoy what gets done with it and its characters. 7/10

Candy Candy: Old anime I’ve only watched some of. At it’s best it’s alright and certainly not anything terrible, but the writing is pretty simplistic and it got drawn on for a bit too long. Not helping is that it was apparently not a pleasant experience for the people making the damn thing. 4/10

Carole & Tuesday: A Netflix exclusive Shinichiro Watanabe anime that I like to imagine takes place in the Cowboy Bebop galaxy. It’s first half was so fucking solid - what the Hell happened in the second half? 4.5/10 overall (S1: 6/10, S2: 3/10)

CLANNAD The Animation: Jun Maeda’s VN Magnum Opus was adapted into an anime that covered both the initial VN and After Story. Filled with endearing, likable characters and a well developed narrative across years of a life lived and shared with others, it’s overall very strong, emotional, thought provoking, wholesome, beautiful, and just gets better as it goes along. 8.5/10 overall (Initial Series: 8/10, After Story: 9/10)

Code Geass: A well put together and infectiously entertaining series with a compelling main cast of characters in it’s debut season, but not very thought through as a narrative, which ended up costing it towards the end. The second season was a trainwreck and nothing that’s come after it has been any good. 6/10 overall (R1: 6.5/10, R2: 4.5/10)

Cowboy Bebop: A 26 episode masterpiece of animated storytelling. First watched it in full in 2013 and my love for it has not diminished since then. 10/10

Danganronpa: The Animation: Scary, intriguing, and super fun animated adaptation of a delightfully twisted visual novel. 7/10

Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope’s Peak Academy: FUCK this one, though! It seemingly seeks to actively diminish, desecrate and destroy everything that worked about the plot and cast of characters in the original two visual novels, and it’s just abysmally written all around. Has zero reason for existing. Am not a fan. 1/10

Darling In The FranXX: It started off fun and has things in it that I enjoyed (Zero Two and Ichigo are both so bae), but after 16 episodes it just fell apart completely and was overall Studio Trigger’s weakest outing at that time. 5/10

Death Note: Excellently dark crime drama and psychological thriller series starring one of the greatest villains to come out of a Japanese medium, but am I alone in finding the anime adaptation to be wanting in many areas? I like the manga and even the two Japanese live action films better. 8/10

Digimon Adventure: An absolute classic of a children’s fantastical adventure anime that even adults can enjoy, and it still holds up all these years later. Whether I see it subbed or dubbed, it’s just delightful. 9.5/10

Digimon Adventure 02: Following up Adventure with a direct sequel wasn’t the wisest idea, and the writing gets majorly sloppy, especially in the show’s second half. Despite this, it’s entertaining and has a good heart to it. 6.5/10

Digimon Tamers: This is to Digimon series’ what Evangelion was to the mecha anime genre, and contains the most appeal for mature audiences. 10/10

Digimon Frontier: A neat Super Sentai gimmick, some great villains, and a Digital World with an excellent lore behind it is wasted on a series that’s mostly poorly structured, poorly written, and a downright chore to get through. 4/10

Digimon Savers: While it had a very strong middle section, it’s always weighed down by hitting off these by-the-numbers Shonen series cliches and leading to a truly terribly conceived final arc. 6/10

Digimon Xros Wars: It started out just plain fun, then it actually got super engaging and epic. And then that “Young Hunters” season fucked everything up. 7/10 overall (S1: 6/10, S2: 8/10, S3: 1/10)

Digimon Adventure Tri: A revisiting of the Adventure universe several years later was a nice idea. Too bad it was absolutely let down in execution by poorly stylized animation and fanfiction level writing. 2/10

Digimon Universe: Appmon: Is more kid friendly even than most other entries in the franchise, but it overall succeeds at being what it sets out to be. 5/10

DN Angel: A standout anime-exclusive character and an intimidating villain just barely saved this anime from total disaster ‘cause otherwise, it is BAD. Read the manga instead. 2/10

Dragon Ball: A Shonen anime classic that started strong and finished strong, featuring some of the most memorable characters, gags, and fights in manga/anime history. 7/10

Dragon Ball Z: My gateway anime, so it’s very fondly remembered. It started even stronger than it’s predecessor, but somehow finished weaker and while mostly entertaining, it was too bogged down by filler that made this ball drag on. 6/10

Dragon Ball GT: Needless. It had some good ideas and moments of fun and humor at the start when Aya Matsui was writing for it, but afterwards it became a stale replication of DBZ that almost feels like bad self-parody. Not a fan. 3/10

Dragon Ball Kai: It’s original 98 episode run was the quintessential Dragon Ball Z anime, trimming the needless filler and keeping the sagas moving at a good pace. The “Final Chapters” series that only covered the Buu Saga wasn’t as good ‘cause it’s the Buu Saga, and even so, they half-assed it. 9/10 overall (S1: 10/10, The Final Chapters: 7.5/10)

Dragon Ball Super: Always fun to watch for the characters, the fights, and the ideas that Toriyama has brought to the table for others to work with, but the franchise can never quite escape it’s Buu Saga slump at this point, especially when it’s all the Goku and Vegeta Super Saiyan Super Show. 6/10

Duel Masters: In terms of the dub, I was with this Yu-Gi-Oh! rip-off turned Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged predecessor for it’s first season, but it lost me in it’s latter two. 4.5/10

Elfen Lied: Shows promise in the first couple of episodes, but then just turns rancid and is a poorly written, poorly executed, not at all pleasant anime to sit through. This is another case where the manga is infinitely better. 4/10

El Hazard: The Magnificent World: One of the finest anime OVA mini-series’ I’ve ever seen in terms of artwork, storytelling, and creativity. 7/10

El Hazard: The Wanderers: Y’know how some animated movies get shows spun off from them? That’s what this feels like, and while it’s not quite as strong as the original OVA, it’s still irresistibly entertaining to watch. 7/10

Eureka Seven: The journey is slow and rough, but the ultimate destination makes this anime a masterpiece and an experience you don’t regret once it’s done. 8.5/10

Eureka 7: AO: No goodwill it built up early on can redeem this steaming garbage pile for taking an absolute shit on everything that made the original as good as it was.1/10

Excel Saga: The best pure comedy anime I’ve watched. Shinichi Watanabe is a strange, twisted, maniacal genius and I am so here for what he turns out. 9/10

Fairy Tail: When it starts out, you’re totally with it. But then as it goes on you realize that this is just another poorly realized Shonen series that’s not worth your time. Or at least, that’s how I saw it. 4/10

The Familiar Of Zero: I gave this one three strikes and it was out. Set pieces for an interesting action-fantasy comedy are completely wasted, I could give no shits about the plot and characters, and the main romance is based in domestic abuse. This anime is vile and should be avoided at all costs. 1/10

Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Ilya: A magical girl spin-off of Fate: Stay Night starring Ilya Von Einsbern in the lead role with Rin and Luvia as sidekicks. I certainly got enjoyment out of it when I watched it in 2017, but it’s overall just okay. 5.5/10

Fullmetal Alchemist (2003): Always been torn on this one. What it does well, it does very well. But when it goes wrong, it goes frustratingly wrong. So I could never fully get into it like I’d wanted to. 6/10

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood: Now this is more like it! 10/10

Full Metal Panic!: Saw some of this in 2016. It’s fun when I watch it, but aside from the main characters and their antics, it doesn’t stick out in my memory most of the time. 5.5/10

Future Diary: It begins as total dirty-wrong trash, but you quick get the sense that it’s deliberately, calculatedly so, which makes it easy to have fun with it in spite of some bad writing here and there. It’s endgame really saves the whole thing, and Yuno Gasai is Iconic(TM) for a damn good reason. 6.5/10

Hellsing (2001): What the BLOODY Hell is all this deranged, gritty nonsense? 3/10

Hellsing Ultimate: Now this is more like it! One of the best horror anime of all time. 8/10

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni: But not THE best. If you ask me, THIS is THE best horror anime of all time. It gave me chills when I first watched it in 2015 and it does so whenever I revisit it. But despite all the misery and scares, it’s got such a great heart to it and is so well thought-out, intricately plotted and incredibly written. 9/10

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Kai: Not quite the memorably scary spectacle that the first season was, but it’s story escalates to the point of perfectly done closure and emotional catharsis in the end. 8/10

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Kira: 4 episodes of goofiness with the Hinamizawa cast. How can you go wrong there?  7/10

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Rei: This was alright, but I actually enjoyed the silly first and last episodes more than I did the main story in the middle three. 6/10

InuYasha: The anime’s first three seasons were solid, so it was upsetting to see all of it’s potential go to waste as the show dragged out and stagnated. “The Final Act” at least finally brought things to a worthy close. 6.5/10

Kill La Kill: Seconding animebw on this one, except my score’s not quite as high. 8/10

Little Witch Academia: A fun outing at a discount Hogwarts for witches, with main characters whose antics you find yourself not tiring of as it goes on. 7/10

Love, Chunibyou, and Other Delusions: Pure madcap high school romcom FUN from start to finish, with a good amount of heart to it too, particularly in the initial season. Far surpasses it’s own source material in every regard. 7/10 overall (S1: 8/10, S2: 6/10)

Love Live: School Idol Project: A nice, breezy, down-to-earth, oftentimes funny and sometimes seriously emotional school idol-based series. 7.5/10 overall (S1: 6.5/10, S2: 8.5/10)

Love Live Sunshine!: Same as above, but even better! 8.5/10 overall (S1: 9/10, S2: 8./10)

Magic Knight Rayearth: Yeah, this one’s a famed mahou shoujo class for a reason. 7/10

March Comes In Like A Lion: 8.5/10 overall (S1: 8/10, S2: 9/10)

Marmalade Boy: Saw some of this in 2017. It’s alright, but falls a bit short of it’s potential despite the nice chemistry of the lead characters keeping it afloat. 4/10

My-HiME: This one needed to come together much better than it did. It was fairly enjoyable in it’s first half, but it’s second half was a tonal mess. 6/10

My-Otome: Meh. It’s alright, but not even as good as My-HiME. 5/10

Medabots: Watched this from time to time a long time ago. It’s decent fun. 5/10

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: It’s first season, when watched in proper order, is a fantastic bit of absurdist comedy meets slice-of-life meets science fiction in one big chaotic mess, with the lead characters of Haruhi and Kyon really giving it it’s appeal. The second season was a disaster that killed any chance of this anime getting any more content. 7.5/10 overall (S1: 8/10. S2: 3/10)

Mobile Suit Victory Gundam: I got some enjoyment out of this one because it’s so bad. It goes so relentlessly grim and depressing that it becomes hilarious to watch unfold. 4/10

Mobile Fighter G Gundam: This is what Gundam, and most mecha anime in general, should aspire to be - an infectious balancing of over-the-top action, campy humor, and actual sincere heart and drama to it’s overarching plot. 9/10

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing: One of the most well known Gundam series and one that I find just alright overall. I mainly enjoyed the most memorable characters like Duo, Relena, Zechs, and Trieze. 5/10

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: Has exceptionally good themes, messages, ideas and characters. Had it only been executed just a little bit better overall. 7/10

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny: Y’know what? I’ll take all the flaws of the first SEED series over whatever the Hell this crap is. 3/10

Mobile Suit Gundam 00: The first season was another case of a good idea with lackluster execution, and the second season was so bad it killed any and all interest in Gundam that I had going forward. 3/10 overall (S1: 4/10, S2: 2/10)

Monster: A psychological thriller/morality tale masterwork, as an anime and a manga. 10/10

Mushrambo: How...how am I supposed to properly judge this one? My only memories of it are from it’s dub, “Shinzo”, which was downright incoherent half the time. ???/10

My Bride Is A Mermaid: Watched this in 2015. Half the time it felt like it was trying too hard to be an Excel Saga type of show, but the other half of the time, it’s weird and wacky charm won me over. Watching these weirdo characters getting into mishaps is a lot of fun. 7/10

My Hero Academia: Pretty much the One Piece of the new era. 6.5/10

Nadja of Tomorrow: A competently done take on what’s essentially a young woman's’ novel in animated form. Mostly enjoyed this one for Rosemary, though. 8.5/10

Nanana’s Buried Treasure: Watched this just a while back. The idea behind this series is so intriguing, so what a fucking letdown that it both doesn’t go all the way with it and only lasts for a measly 11 episodes, ending with no resolution to the story that had been developing whatsoever! 4/10

Naruto: It was alright in it’s first series and could even be entertaining and exciting, especially during the Chunin Exams. Post-timeskip, I don’t think I’ve seen a Shonen series that I consider to be more wretched and terribly written. Kishimoto is a hack author and a shit person. 2/10 overall (S1: 3/10, Shippuden: 1/10)

Neon Genesis Evangelion: You know I love this one! Another 26 episode masterpiece of animated storytelling, one that deconstructed and redefined the mecha genre and was very influential on both mecha anime and anime in general. It’s impact cannot be denied or understated, ever. 10/10

Nisekoi: The first season actually managed to work for me in spite of some truly lousy writing for it’s main story, and the second season plus OVAs were actually not quite as strong in spite of discarding said story. But overall, it’s a pretty charming and entertaining affair with a very fun and engaging female lead. 6.5/10 overall (S1: 6/10, S2 + OVAs: 5/10)

Noragami: Share animebw’s sentiments here, except I liked the first season better ‘cause it had more Hiyori involvement. Hiyori is super bae. 7/10 overall (S1: 7.5/10, S2: 6.5/10)

One Piece: Loved this one back when it was in it’s prime, got so damn fatigued with it afterwards. Can’t say it’s bad, but it’s gone on so long that it’s well past the point where I see it as good and worth my time. 6.5/10

Ouran High School Host Club: Not much story and character development going on here, but the comedy was on point and the characters just plain fun and endearing in how over-the-top they could go. 6.5/10

Pokemon (Original Series): The Gen 1 section of the original series is an absolute classic in it’s imaginative writing and consistent quality entertainment value. The Gen 2 section just went on too long and got more and more stale until it at least managed to stick a good landing in the end. 7.5/10 overall (G1: 9/10, G2: 4/10)

Pokemon: Advanced Generation: The same formula established in the previous series but with a new coat of paint. It was average at best and had some particularly good episodes in the Battle Frontier arc. The score gets bumped higher than I’d give it otherwise due to the sole factor of May and her development as a character, which was excellently done. 6.5/10

Pokemon: Diamond And Pearl: The same ol’ formula but with more gimmicks and ongoing storylines added, doing nothing to detract from the fact that the paint was starting to dry here. Mostly not very fun to watch or look at, and overall a badly written vanity project for a hack writer. PokeAni at it’s absolute weakest. 3/10

Pokemon: Best Wishes: This one took a soft reboot approach and shook up the formula, being the breath of fresh air that the anime needed, and I love it for that. But the writing wasn’t always top notch, and the series as a whole peaked early into BWS2. Following the Episode N arc, there wasn’t much reason to engage with it anymore and it’s final year was overall a trainwreck that sent the series off with a whimper. 7/10 overall (S1: 8/10, S2: 5/10)

Pokemon XY: For it’s first two years, it was Diamond And Pearl all over again except it did some thing even worse. But some of the stuff it gradually set up did bear fruit in its third year, XY&Z, which had a captivating main storyline to it that concluded in a spectacular climax. I’m overall not a fan of it, though it has more to do with it’s fanbase than anything it actually did. 4.5/10 overall (XY: 3.5/10, XY&Z: 5.5/10)

Pokemon: Sun and Moon: This has to be the most drastic and welcome reboot that the anime’s had yet. With an overhaul of the writing team now led by Aya Matsui and a fresh approach totally free of the usual patterns, this is the best and freshest that PokeAni has ever been since it started and I’ve been enjoying it immensely. 9/10

Pokemon Journeys: 7/10 overall. (Main series: 7.5/10, OVA: 5/10)

The Powerpuff Girls Z: It’s not Craig McCraken’s series, but it’s clearly not trying to be, and for the most part I thought it did alright at being it’s own thing. 5/10

The Prince Of Tennis: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE. 1/10

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: This is to the magical girl genre what Evengelion was to mecha anime and what Digimon Tamers was to Digimon. Deliciously dark, cruel, and intense the more it goes on, but also effectively emotional and with some good spiritual, moral themes to it. 9.5/10

Ranma 1/2: Like Inuyasha, its first three seasons provide some quality enjoyment before it goes to shit in the following seasons. I still gladly take it over the manga, but the dated dirty humor, sexism, racism, and homophobia that pops up frequently is wince-inducing either way. 5.5/10

Rave Master: Actually a really good manga. Not so good an anime. I remember more about the silly dub and it’s cheesy music than I do about the anime itself. 5/10

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Haven’t watched it in full, but what I have seen and what I do know about it is that it’s quality Shoujo with much to enjoy and appreciate. 9.5/10

The Rising Of The Shield Hero: It’s not easy to adapt something from a source material that was putrid garbage written by an incel with serious issues, but boy is it fun to watch people try. While not as good as the manga adaptation, I think this anime came together pretty well and is a guilty pleasure. 5/10

Rock Lee and His Ninja Pals: Better than anything else in the Naruto franchise, proving that Rock Lee makes a better underdog lead than Naruto Uzumaki ever did. 6.5/10

Rurouni Kenshin: An action-filled and dramatic yet also humor-filled and charming anime series, and one of the all-time classics of Shonen. 8/10

Sailor Moon: If you want a straight-up magical girl anime that provides the best of what the genre could offer, you cannot ask for better than Sailor Moon. One of the all-time classics of Shoujo and a very well put-together series. 8.5/10

Sailor Moon R: Almost as good as the first. Has a very rough middle section with a very bad subplot featured, but overall an ideal follow-up and a classic in it’s own right. 8/10

Sailor Moon S: This is where the Sailor Moon anime begun to lose it’s luster. Was solid in its first half but got downright miserable in its second half, with even a stellar climax leading into some shockingly awful final episodes. Saving graces were an iconic lesbian romance and an excellent main antagonist. 6/10

Sailor Moon Super S: Well I do enjoy it, mainly for the fun Circus baddies, but...it’s really not good. Too much formulaic filler fluff and not enough story or character development, with Chibi Usa’s character getting way more time and attention than was necessary, becoming an unwanted irritation as a result. 4.5/10

Sailor Moon Stars: Yeah, it’s really sad how low Sailor Moon sunk as an anime by the end. I’m hard pressed to find any redeeming value in this one besides top-notch animation and some enjoyable villains here and there. 1/10

Sailor Moon Crystal: A more manga-accurate Sailor Moon adaptation. The first arc was adapted and animated pretty atrociously, the second arc was adapted and animated marginally better, and the third was an amazing improvement and a thrill to experience. 6/10 overall (S1: 4/10, S2: 6.5/10, S3: 8/10)

School Live! - A silly, cute, wholesome and light-hearted 12 episode anime that encapsulates the School Life/Slice of Life subgenre in anime. No Zombie Apocalypses, psychological horror, and emotional pain to be seen here, no sirree! Though if it did have such things, I supposed that’d make it worth 8/10

Scry-Ed: Saw some of this long ago. It had some fun points in a “So Bad, It’s Good” way, but more often it was just horrendously plotted and aggravating to watch. 2/10

Shaman King: A fairly average Shonen anime on the whole, but it actually ends great when compared to how its manga source material ended up. 6/10

The Slayers: Watched this in 2005. This, years prior to it, was everything that “Familiar Of Zero” failed to be. Incredibly fun and absorbing in how it goes about things, with a deeply flawed yet lovable and hilarious main cast. 9/10

Slayers Next: Watched this right afterwards that same year. As great as the first one was, this one was even better, with a more tight overarching narrative, more comedy and further fleshed out character dynamics, and great new additions like Martina and Xellos. Slayers never got better than this. 9.5/10

SSSS Gridman: A dang good reinvention of the old Kaiju-fighting Tokosatsu hero, Gridman, for only 12 episodes. The action, atmosphere, and animation is never dull, and while some of the characters could’ve been better developed, the core arc given to the villainous Akane Shinjo more than makes up for it. 7.5/10

Star Driver: Watched this twice last year and have been revisiting it even now. There’s just something about how it’s setting, it’s soundtrack, it’s characters, it’s formula and it’s overarching narrative all click together that makes this campy and unorthodox yet sincere and thrilling take on a mecha anime a thing of beauty and an absolute joy to watch. In my heart it’s a 9/10, but for technicalities’ sake (that whole section with Madoka and Kou really made the show falter), I give it one grade lower. 8.5/10

Tenchi Muyo!: Another enjoyable, beautifully drawn anime OVA mini-series, where the writing and animation is always top notch.It spun off a whole bunch of other shows and really popularized the “harem anime” genre that I’m not particularly a fan of, but this here was the best that Tenchi could ever get. 7/10

Tengen Tonpa Gurren Lagann: Unlike animebw, I enjoyed the section of the anime where Kamina was around ‘cause of how knowingly stupid and fun the show was. and then it got even better following his tragic demise. It was the goddamn time skip and everything they did following it that took me out of it. At least the animation, action and effects were always superb. 6/10

Toradora: In it’s first season, it was as good as anime romcoms get. But I feel its second season really faltered by piling on more melodramatic angst and unpleasant complications than what should be possible for these characters, especially Minori. Plus, it all ended way too predictably. 8/10 (S1: 8.5/10, S2: 7.5/10)

Trigun: An anime classic to this day for certain, but I think it’s also kind of overrated. 7/10

Umineko No Naku Koro Ni: Strong material, utter travesty of an adaptation. 4.5/10

Vinland Saga: One word properly describes this one: EPIC. 10/10

Vision Of Escaflowne: A well remembered fantasy-action Shoujo series from the 90′s. Quality entertainment with a very unique heroine and some very touching emotional bonds at the heart of it all. 7/10

WataMote: I enjoy it. Don’t know if I can put into words what it even is, but I do enjoy it. 7/10

Wolf’s Rain: Another 26 episode (actually 30 episode) masterpiece with the writing talent of Keiko Nobumoto. But damn, this one’s depressing as fuck. 8.5/10

Yu-Gi-Oh!: First adaptation of one of my favorite Shonen manga. Even for a late 90′s anime, the animation budget is cheap, yet there’s just enough charm, character, well structured storytelling and enjoyability for me to forgive it. It feels like what an anime version of a Disney Afternoon cartoon would be. 8/10

Yu-Gi-Oh!: Duel Monster: Second adaptation, and the one that made it’s way to the West to become a phenomenon and get me into the series. It’s first two seasons are overall faithful adaptations of the manga despite many notable divergences on the path of the same basic story to the same destination. From the Noah Kaiba filler arc and onward, things started to get more and more dumb and off from the manga. But it’s still a solid series and certainly an entertaining one. 7/10

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: The first Yu-Gi-Oh! spinoff that at first acquitted it’s own existence by being a partial spoof of itself, but it got seriously bad and less fun in it’s latter half. 4.5/10 overall (S1 & S2: 5.5/10, S3 & S4: 3.5/10)

Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds: The second Yu-Gi-Oh! spinoff was even dumber than GX yet took itself super seriously. It’s first two seasons had it’s bright spots, but it’s third season was a needless dud. 4/10 overall (S1 & S2: 4.5/10, S3: 3.5/10)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V: The fourth Yu-Gi-Oh! spinoff (ZeXal was so bad, I skipped it over). Surprisingly good in it’s first season, still engaged me in it’s second despite some ideas just not working, but a flaming, exploding trainwreck in it’s third and final one, making it more clear than ever that Yu-Gi-Oh! spinoffs can’t ever do shit right all the way through or stick the landing. 4/10 overall (S1: 7/10, S2: 5.5/10. S3: 2.5/10)

Yu Yu Hakusho: Absolutely excellent action Shonen series with thrilling and creative fights, a wonderfully progressing narrative, great characters, and an anime that’s, for the most part, even better than it’s manga source material. It doesn’t get a perfect score only because of that Three Kings arc that came in between Chapter Black and the series finale. That was stupid and ultimately pointless as fuck. 9.5/10

Zatch Bell: A slightly more imaginative, quirkier and better version of Shaman King. Very easy anime to enjoy, but one that takes a while to get a big plot going and one that just kind of fizzled out in it’s last 50 episodes as it got cut off just before the manga’s climactic points and final arc. 7/10

What I’ve Already Watched

This is a list of anime I’ve watched prior to starting this blog. For shows I watched during it, check out my other, upcoming list!

Keep reading

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One Night in Miami Review: Regina King’s Triumphant Directorial Debut

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It’s a strange sight. Fresh off witnessing his pal Cassius Clay become the heavyweight champion of the world, soul singer Sam Cooke sits alone in his room. Actually, it’s a motel space Malcolm X has rented out for Cooke and several other Black luminaries at the center of 1960s American culture, but Cooke is the first one to arrive… and he looks more comfortable here by himself, finding peace while strumming a guitar, than moments earlier when he stood in the ring with Clay, holding hands up after the new champ’s TKO victory over Sonny Liston.

But then that is one of the remarkable strengths of director Regina King and writer Kemp Powers’ One Night in Miami: It approaches four larger than life figures who loomed tall above the mid-20th century and reveals each to be, in his own way, an introvert. Yes, weeks before he changed his name to Muhammad Ali, even Clay drops boasts of being The Greatest to concede “I’m good,” admitting to self-doubts over the Liston bout.

These are the benefits that come from King and Powers—the latter drawing from his stage play of the same name—using extreme artistic license to put Ali (El Goree), Malcolm X (Kingsley Ben-Adir), Sam Cooke (Leslie Odom Jr.), and football star Jim Brown (Aldis Hodge) alone together for most of One Night in Miami’s running time. But while the situation may be fictional, the textures and paradoxes it reveals among these four real-life friends is luminously authentic. It’s also a feat more lasting than traditional biopics, which posit themselves as allegedly true accounts of a person’s entire life. Instead One Night in Miami, which just premiered at TIFF, prefers examining the legion of pressures facing Black artists and leaders who hold the double-edged sword of America’s undivided attention.

At one point in the film, Sam criticizes Malcolm, saying he’s greater than just the fiery persona seen on television. “Maybe [that’s you], but you were also so much… more.” One Night in Miami seeks to explore just how much more.

The construct of the psychological deep dive is simple enough. On the night Cassius beat Liston after six rounds, Malcolm arranged a small party with his aforementioned friends and celebrities. Each is at the top of the world in their given field: boxing, football, music, and politics. Yet none realize when they arrive to the motel that it’ll just be them, plus two Nation of Islam brothers standing outside as security.

Malcolm is using this get-together to announce among friends that Cassius is converting to Islam, and that Jim and Sam should also get on board with the good work. This is not to say he necessarily means conversion, though he’d clearly welcome it. But Malcolm himself is less than a month away from leaving the religious and political movement he’s successfully courted Cassius to join—much to Clay’s soon-to-be anger. Indeed, Malcolm is using this night to slowly hint at his own plans of breaking away from NOI leader Elijah Muhammad, and his hopes for each man to do more to help their Black brothers and sisters calling for change. The conversations that arise are not spoken gently.

By adapting Powers’ play, King reveals a flair for direction and, perhaps not surprisingly, working with actors. An Oscar and Emmy winning thespian whose credits include If Beale Street Could Talk and HBO’s Watchmen, King is not new to directing; she’s helmed episodes for numerous television series before. Yet One Night in Miami is her first directorial effort intended for the big screen, and with it, she announces a visual confidence that can overcome the stagebound quality that bedevils most play-to-film transitions, including this one. For Powers’ screenplay can occasionally be heavy-handed in the film’s first act while the picture lays a vast expositional foundation.

However, King overcomes these limitations with as much visual distraction and ringside panache as needed to get them to where the heart of the movie is, and where Powers’ script begins to sizzle as all four outsized personalities butt heads in the same space. It’s also where King allows her ensemble to sing, even if Odom’s dead-on imitation of Cooke’s velvety vocals is the only actual crooning.

Each of the four key performances recreate the well-known tics of their historical personages. And in this arena, Goree is a delight. With wind in his sail after winning the heavyweight belt, his Cassius is so nimble in his dancing and prancing that it’s a wonder his feet ever touch the ground. Yet whereas most biopics, particularly in the last few years, have leaned into the legend of its subjects, One Night in Miami seeks to imagine a psychological truth that’s far slipperier, and far more rewarding.

In this context, Ben-Adir’s Brother Malcolm may be the most revelatory. In contrast with Spike Lee and Denzel Washington’s electric depiction of the civil and human rights activist, there is something slightly subversive about King and Ben-Adir’s interpretation. Here is the firebrand who preached African American separation and just several months before the film’s February ’64 setting referred to JFK’s assassination as “chickens coming home to roost”—a statement that gets him no shortage of grief from his friends in One Night in Miami—yet beyond his moral disgust at Elijah Muhammad’s affairs with young secretaries in the NOI, this version of Malcolm is full of second-guessing anxiety and a pained inner-life just bubbling behind the horn-rimmed glasses.

He wants to do right by the Black community, but just as he challenges Jim Brown and Sam Cooke’s lack of political activism he is challenged by their rebukes; if he’s the political leader hanging with the artists and athletes, is he little more than the nerd trying to run with and influence the jocks? Of course the verbal conflict between Malcolm and his brothers is greater than that.

At its heart, One Night in Miami is the eternal struggle about the different sensibilities pulling at any Person of Color with social power, be they intentionally political or not. Unlike the athletes among them, Cooke attests he’s the only Black man here not taking a paycheck from a white man, owning his own recording masters and producing other Black artists. But at that point in ‘64, none of his songs were about how a change is gonna come, nor were his personal aspirations higher than winning the approval of white audiences and tastemakers on the pop charts.

Conversely, Cassius is in his own way an entertainer, but one who enjoys playing antagonistic heel to white mainstream sensibilities. In this way, every one of them is confronted with the uncomfortable power afforded from standing in the crossroads of American pop culture—and is being pulled either toward art or commerce, moral clarity or the innocuous soft power of apolitical affability. No matter which way they go, however, the destination of Black Power feels within reach.

There’s no easy answer about which is the right direction for the characters or the audience, especially as the film is haunted by the beleaguered feeling that 60 years after these men’s struggles, ones which would take Malcolm’s life, Black leaders and entertainers are still having the same debates. Still trapped at the same intersection. Despite the tough decisions, big and small, these men made, the full change is yet to come.

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One Night in Miami premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on Friday, Sept. 11.

The post One Night in Miami Review: Regina King’s Triumphant Directorial Debut appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[audiofixationnews]

#OverloadMonday: Singles, Visuals, Projects & Tours! Oh My!

Here's some overload for your Monday blues. Check out what went down this past week, Jan. 22nd-28th.

Singles

Apple

Royce 5’9”, Joyner Lucas, and Black Thought - yes, you read those names right - have teamed up to tackle one of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s tracks off his 2016 Hamilton mixtape. While the original featured Nas and Dave East, this new remix stars the trio with Aloe Blacc on the hook. Listen above.

Gucci Mane comes through with new music. He teams up with Tiesto and Sevenn for his latest track “BOOM.” Pick your poison and enjoy: Apple Music or Spotify. 

We’ve also seen team efforts from the likes of Dice Soho x Will Peters, Rich The Kid x Famous Dex, Lil Baby x Kenny Gee, and Cam O’bi x Smino. 

Clearly, Meek Mill was busy leading up to his incarceration, and Joyner Lucas has been pretty busy out here in the world. Check out their team effort along with Timbaland on the new track, “Run It.” 

Instead of releasing his EP, Woke You Up, Sonny Digital decided to release two new singles over the weekend: “Keep It Real” and “Love My Plug.” Check them out. 

We got new music from T-Pain, R-Mean, YBN Almighty Jay, and King Los. 

Lil Jon linked up with 2 Chainz and Offset for his newest joint, “Alive.” After posting that picture of him and Jermaine Dupri in the studio, you have to ask: Is Lil Jon gearing up for a comeback? We shall see. 

With his new project on the way, scroll down for that, Skooly dropped the first offering, “Dirty Dawg Insane.” 

As more Pro Era is demanded, shall Joey giveth with Pro Era’s CJ Fly and Nyck Caution.

While we wait for the release of their collab project Can’t Feel My Face, Lil Wayne and Juelz Santana drop for their newest joint track, "Bloody Mary.” The new track appears on Lil Wayne’s newest release, scroll down to “Projects."

And when you thought the team efforts were done: Maroon 5 x A Boogie, Ralo x YFN Lucci, and Young Thug x Gunna x Hoodrich Pablo Juan. 

A$AP Rocky dropped two new singles just a day apart, “5ive $tar$” and “Above.” His newest singles give a peek into the new sounds he’s “testing” for his upcoming third studio album. Also, he may or may not be testing out a title for the upcoming album. All of the artwork on his SoundCloud has been changed from that Testing cover to now a bright yellow background with Dummie in the middle. You can find it above in the cover photo. 

Check out the snippet 50 Cent dropped off his new single with PNB Rock, “Going Crazy.” First, he dropped one via Instagram, then followed up with another snippet the very next day. Produced by Frank Dukes, check the previews out and let’s hope this drops soon. 

Visuals

Apple Music, Spotify, TIDAL. 

After finally releasing their joint project, Friday On Elm Street, Jadakiss and Fabolous have dropped the project’s first visual for “F vs J Intro.” They followed up with another visual, this time for the fan-favorite “Soul Food.” A tough project featuring the likes of Future, Swizz Beatz, Teyana Taylor, Styles P (of course) and more. A must listen, so pick your poison and definitely check it out.

Following the release of their sophomore album CULTURE II, Migos dropped a visual over the weekend. Well, more like an action-packed short film, watch “Stir Fry” starring the song’s producer, Pharrell.

New visuals from Moneybagg Yo and YBN Nahmir were dropped this past week.

Catch producer Sango’s first visual offering from his upcoming project, “Sweet Holy Honey” featuring Xavier Omär.

Jhene Aiko dropped a visual treatment to her fan favorite “Sativa,” featuring Swae Lee - but with a twist.

We also got to see visuals from K Camp, G Herbo, and Downtown Dion.

In 2018’s first week we saw a sudden release, One Week Notice, from Dizzy Wright, Jarren Benton, Audio Push, Demrick, Emilio Rojas, Reezy DJ Hoppa, and Kato. The crew gave themselves a total of 7 days to put together and drop the project. Now they drop a visual treatment for, according to Kato, “one of the group and fan favorites off the project,” “Get Up N Go." Check out the visual here, and go back to the #OverloadMonday for One Week Notice.

Projects

After releasing Dedication 6 for Christmas, Lil Wayne is back unloading the tape’s sequel, Dedication 6: Reloaded. The 20-track tape follows the release of three singles that of course made the tracklist. Featuring the likes of Juelz Santana, Gudda Gudda, Drake, Lil Twist and more. 

Returning with his first project in four years, Evidence dropped a new solo LP over the weekend. Weather or Not is a 16-track project that features the likes of Styles P, Rapsody, Alchemist and more.  A project you do not want to bypass: Spotify or Apple

Former G-Unit member, Spider Loc reemerged this past week with The Lost Tapes. The 15-track album features the likes of Jay Rock, E-Note, Mack 10 and of course 50 Cent. Reminiscent of that old G-Unit sound from the early 2000s, and I’m here for it. It’s definitely worth a listen, so pick your poison: Apple Music, Spotify.

Ghostface Killah and Apollo Brown re-released their ’13 effort The Brown Tape: Bandcamp, Spotify or Apple.

While Migos released their sophomore album, CULTURE II, this weekend, Justine Skye made her official debut with ULTRAVIOLET.

Coming Soon...

Tory Lanez…about damn time. The Toronto-native has finally announced the release of his highly-anticipated album, Memories Don’t Die. Via Instagram, Tory shared a trailer that reveals the album is slated to drop March 2nd. Watch the trailer above and stay plugged. It definitely builds up the hype, and we’re all waiting.

Producer Sango’s forthcoming project, In The Comfort Of, is slated to release March 6th.

And they’re back! Beginning with their 1993’s Bacdafucup, Onyx released seven studio albums along with mixtapes, and let’s not their solo careers. Now the duo is back with their first project in years titled Black Rock. The project will feature the likes of Optimus, Skyzoo, Sickflow, Snak The Ripper, and R.A. The Rugged Man. They took to Instagram to reveal the project’s tracklist along with artwork. Black Rock is slated to release February 17th.

Reports are flooding in that Black Thought is teaming up with 9th Wonder for a new project. After the intense and viral freestyle, this move to drop some solo music outside of The Roots seems strategic. Via Nodfactor's Twitter, a video was released of Black Thought revealing his work with 9th Wonder: “It’s the first of a series of joints that I’m gonna be putting out called Streaming Thought. Be on the lookout for the music that we’re about to hit y’all with.” And 9th followed up by semi-confirming with an obscure tweet. Stay plugged for updates.

Well, since everyone is taking to Twitter, Lil Pump just recently tweeted out that his next tape, Harvard Dropout, is “coming soon."

Producer Jahlil Beats took to Sway In The Morning to announce that his debut project will be released this summer. Titled Gratitude, his debut compilation project will feature the likes of Meek Mill, Dave East, Kendrick Lamar, Anderson .Paak, Beanie Sigel and more.

DJ Carnage is all set to release his highly anticipated sophomore album, Battered Bruised & Bloody, and is set to release March 2nd.

Check out the releases slated to drop this week, specifically February 2nd: Justin Timberlake, Man of the Woods; Skooly, Don’t You Ever Forget About Me; Skyzoo, Bring Back God II; Brain, Amen.

Check This

TDE presents The Championship Tour! TDE’s big players, and little newbies, will be hitting the road. This includes the likes of Kendrick Lamar (duh), ScHoolboy Q, SZA, Jay Rock, Ab-Soul, SiR, and Lance Skiiwalker gallivanting their way through all of North America. The tour will kick off on May 4th in Vancouver, and end in June 16th in Pittsburgh. You don’t want to miss this. Tickets are already on sale via Ticketmaster. Check out the full tour date list to see if the champions will be in a city near you. 

While we’re talking about TDE...SZA has confirmed that she has new music on the way from her collaborations with Mark Ronson and Tame Impala founder Kevin Parker. During an interview with NY Times, TDE’s leading lady revealed that she had been working with the duo and three tracks have been recorded. Any day now, yasss. 

While we’re still waiting for Jay Electronica to drop his highly anticipated album, the Roc Nation lyricist has revealed that he will be heading out on tour starting this week. Starting in Chicago this Thursday, Feb 1st, and end in New York for Governor’s Ball, June 1st-3rd. It will be an eight-city run, let’s just be thankful he’s hitting the road at all.

Both Royce 5’9” and J. Cole were spotted filming a music video for an unreleased and unnamed song. HNHH posted a snippet of some BTS footage via Instagram. With PRhyme 2  (PRHYME = Royce + DJ Premier) out March 2nd, it’s a good assumption that the single may surface on the self-titled collab album from the duo. We will have to wait and see.

With the surprise release during Scary Hours, Drake broke records with his single “God Plan.” First, the single had the most single streams on Spotify. Drake then moved on to break Apple Music’s first day streaming record with 14 million streams. Yes, 14 million streams in just the song’s first day. Jeez.

Donald Glover penned a deal with RCA over the week that will give us new music from Childish Gambino. Chairman and CEO of RCA, Peter Edge, had this to say: “Donald is undoubtedly one of the most talented, multi-faceted, young entertainers of this era. We are excited to join forces with him and Wolf + Rothstein to usher in the next phase of Childish Gambino’s musical career.” Amen. The deal between RCA and Glover’s agency/label, Wolf + Rothstein, for his upcoming album that will drop sometime this year it looks like. 

Stay plugged

That sums up this past week in Hip Hop. Come back next week for more.

[sending-the-message]

Sob Story by PastasaurusRex

“I remember each and every detail vividly. It was right in front of me. It's hard to forget such a sight, you know.

“I opened my eyes to a visual straight from a psychopath's wet dream. I felt horror for the first split second, but it was followed by intense grief and sadness. I did not want this to happen, you know.

“She was hanging from the ceiling. I'm speaking euphemistically, but I guess I don't need to do that here. She was hanging by a metal chain wound multiple times around her neck, linked to a hook in the ceiling. She was completely naked, and there was a puddle of blood right below where she was... hanging. A crowbar was lying on the floor, red from either rust, or blood, or both. The blood had leaked out of her shoulder blade, where she had tried to penetrate herself, I'm supposing, with the crowbar. When she couldn't get the whole thing inside her, she had resorted to pulling out her ribs with it, one by one. What was left were the grotesque remains of a woman with a constricted throat, a hole in her shoulder, and multiple ribs poking out from her chest. It made me incredibly sad.

“It was, all things considered, a very brutal suicide.”

The detective banged both his fists on the interrogation table and jumped from his chair, sending it flying. He was livid.

“Do you really expect me to believe that bullshit!? How the fuck could anyone do this to themselves!? This is murder as plain as the fucking day outside!”

I could see he was really angry. Whether at me, or the situation, or his failure to crack the case within record time, or the system, I couldn't tell. But, truth be told, I didn't expect him to believe that bullshit. I don't expect any police officer in the world to believe this. Hell, it's too hard to believe for myself!

“Have you found my prints on the weapon, detective?” In hindsight, I believe emphasising on the word ‘weapon’ wasn't a very smart move.

The detective glared at me as though his eyesight might just turn me to ash. He picked up his clipboard, ruffled through a few papers, and threw it away angrily. After what seemed to be many minutes, he grunted a gruff “No!” which was followed by an equally gruff “But the forensics team is still running tests on it! I will keep them awake for as long as it takes, but I'll make sure they find your prints, so that I can nail your ass in federal prison!”

I closed my eyes in defeat. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. I also wished that would somehow calm the detective down.

When I opened my eyes, the detective was sneering at me. He had unholstered his service pistol and had kept it on the table, bang in the middle. He had kept both hands on the edge of the table and was leaning on it, as if almost taunting me to spill the beans.

When he spoke, it was with an almost mischievious tone. “So tell me. How exactly did she commit the suicide?” Mocking my previous emphasis didn't go unmissed by me.

I took a few more deep breaths, taking all the time in the world to make sure that the words escaping my mouth next make as much sense as possible. But no matter how I form the sentence in my head, it seemed as far-fetched as finding platinum on the moon.

“She wanted to know my story. I refused. She urged me to. I didn't want to. She was so beautiful. She cajoled me and told me not to worry. I warned her that it won't end well for her. She convinced me to tell her. She had it coming. I couldn't help it.”

My voice cracked at the end of that. The detective was looking at me as if I'm some clown asking to be taken seriously. His expression was an intriguing mixture of bewilderment, anger, and disbelief.

“What the fuck are you rambling on about, man!?”

It felt like he wanted to continue, but thought better of it. I realised he was expecting a response to that short question.

I had no other option. This wasn't going to end well.

“I thought of visiting one of those underground S&M bars. I'd heard a lot about them, and all those Rock & Roll videos made them look super sexy.

“I was just sitting at the bar, enjoying my drink, when this very attractive woman walked over to me. She was piss drunk, and she had to latch on to the edge of the bar so that she wouldn't fall. Despite her drunken state, she came across as quite hot.

“She looked at me, then she looked me up and down. With a mischievious smile on her face, she whispered in my ear, ‘I'm into masochism. Wanna come home with me?’

“There was something very seductive in her voice, which I couldn't refuse. We went to her place, where she offered to grace me with a lap dance. I had forgotten my worries momentarily, but then...”

“But then what!? Go on, you pussy!”

I sighed heavily. I was setting myself up for murder charges. But I went on because I wanted to live, to tell my tale.

“She asked me what my story was. And what a good-looking man like me was doing sad and alone at an S&M bar. Like I mentioned before, I didn't want to talk about it. But she told me that the lap dance will only happen if I speak up. I refused and started to get up to leave. She pinned me down, cuffed my hands to the railing behind the couch, and blindfolded me. Told me she had a high tolerance rate. Masochism and all. I figured that there was no way outta this, so I started speaking.

“The next thing I saw was when the team of cops arrived and ripped open my blindfold and I saw her... like that.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I had to turn and blink them away.

The detective was utterly confused now, and rightly so. How could anyone explain this bizarre chain of events? It made me sad that the English language was so limited when you truly wanted to speak what was going in your mind.

Defeated, he pulled up the chair and sat opposite me.

“Listen, man. I'm not going to ask you again. I've had enough of this. At least have the balls to tell a half-convincing lie. What the fuck am I supposed to understand by the shit you just spouted!? You told ‘your story,’” – he made air quotes – ”and the whore just up and proceeded to impale, defile, and asphyxiate herself!?”

“Not that order, I think –”

”I don't give a fuck what you think! Jesus H. Christ! I'm not even close to being convinced!”

He looked at me for a long time. Then at the CCTV camera in the corner of the ceiling. Then he leaned in close to me and whispered, “Look, asshole. I don't give a fuck about the authorities or what shit the system piles on me. You have two options right now. Either you tell me what you really did, or I riddle your brain with the contents of this killing tool.”

I believed him. I could see he meant business. But I didn't know how to make him believe me. I was as far from murder as a baby in a crib.

“Either you tell me your story right now, or another murder happens tonight. In this room.”

“I wouldn't advise –”

“You don't advise me about shit, sonny. You tell me your story. Or you die. Make a voluntary decision. This is it. My patience is running as thin as your lies.”

This was really it, then, wasn't it? No other way out. If he wanted to know my story, then so be it. I don't understand it. I doubt if he will.

As I begin speaking, I see the detective's eyes widen in horror, then fill with tears. Sobbing uncontrollably, he proceeds to pick up his pistol, cock the hammer, and place the barrel to his temple.