#EDIT: fuck it i put in the little details about harry's house enjoy that too

[partyinthemysterymachine]

I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THE SH ACTOR AU (per ur tags on the sh1 post), PWEASE,

LITCHERALLY SHAKES AND CRIES AND MOUTHBREATHES SO HEAVILY THANK YOU

SO i wrote a little bit a while ago, and there's even some art i did to go with it, as well as a piece i commissioned in its honor

however A LOT has changed since then lmao like So Much it's kinda insane. the first post i linked has a lot of incorrect information now, BUT i thought i'd slap it there for some basic ideas, and reiterate what’s still true here as well

THE STORY GOES that, because i love my own work, Get Out Of My Town (GOOMT) has been adapted into a Netflix series from the books series themselves. (yes; GOOMT is a published book series. how blessed and unfortunate for everyone ur welcome. WHICH LEADS TO AN

IMPORTANT NOTE: i, as the author, actually have no place in this. i don’t put myself in it at all, like i wrote it, published, and then fucked off lmao just blip bye y’all can deal with this LOL - not the “death” of the author but. yeah i’m just not involved, like an absent parent. this is ur problem, enjoy)

it’s advertised as a “inspired by Konami’s Silent Hill series” and some other legal mumbo jumbo that makes this possible, and to reiterate, it’s an adaptation of GOOMT. because of this it’s a little controversial on the notes that the two main male characters will end up in a romance; the various, deeply uncomfortable themes; why tf Netflix is choosing to take this big a risk; why the hell it’s getting a TV adaptation in the first place, etc.

so it’s getting a bit of publicity, to say the least.

there are four seasons planned, though, of course, the future of it is hinged on its success. they will move on to shoot s2 if it does well.

WELL GUESS WHAT IT SURE DOES AND HOWDY DO HERE COMES SEASON 2

(ALSO ALSO IMPORTANT NOTE: for ease and to avoid confusion, i refer to the actors (who actually have real person names) as their characters - even when they haven’t been cast yet.)

WE GONNA NEED A CUT HERE MY GOOD SUCKERS SO AWAAAAY WE GO

(no like seriously there's so much text under here lmao rip in fucking pieces all ye who dare enter)

the director cast a C-list character actor to play Harry, whose resume largely consists of minor roles in TV and barely known by name, more by “hey it’s that guy!”, and a new and upcoming actor to play James, who, thanks to his debut comedy film, has suddenly rocketed into fame and the public eye.

naturally, casting James for such a serious role directly after cementing himself as a comedy actor has people scratching their heads and already saying he’s going to nuclear bomb it. he’s brand spanking new to the big time entertainment industry, possibly on the way to being an A-lister, and he’s gonna risk career death already??? ur fuckin nuts but ok sure whatever dude

the doubts that he can even go on an Ambien-powered DREAM of doing a small serious role any justice are high, as when digging into his resume, his theatre credits are primarily comedic roles. he’s shown himself as pretty relaxed and funny as person in interviews while, to his merit, holding an air of maturity. he’s very fun and interesting to interview, and his social media is rather chill. he posts every few days, answers fan questions and general interaction, does the occasional expected promotions, his pictures/videos are a total delight, and seems to be taking near-instant fame pretty damn well.

James has loads of nerdy interests, mostly in prop replica, but include collecting playing card and baseball card decks, preservation of Las Vegas history, gambling machines (including pachinko! but not as much as American machines; and no, he’s not a gambler), SPAAAACE, and the evolution of toys.

on the other side of the concert hall, also casting an essentially no-name actor to play his first huge role is getting some chatter. people’ve dug up Harry’s credits and done some nitpicking, many believing that there’s no way he has the actual talent and range to do barely a pebble’s throw of a good a job as other main listers could. there were rumors of other well-knowns potentially slated to take on the role of Harry Mason, which were obviously all just that: rumors.

some speculate that he was chosen thanks to his SURPRISINGLY CONVENIENT natural, deep widow’s peak hairline, AND his left-handedness. (imagine that. what a coincidence. wow. what good luck indeed!!) Harry obviously nailed the auditions and if he didn’t, he was ready to retire from acting. he’s been in the business for decades, was tired of the small character roles. he stopped looking for his Big Break a long long time ago, and suddenly he’s Harrison Ford’ing it by getting a leading role in a Netflix show. Whew.

he hasn’t gotten to do an interview yet, only releasing a statement about how pumped he is (with some old photo from one of his TV roles for reference), so the public is left wondering what kind of a guy he is until he’s sitting across from some journalist.

so these are pretty gutsy casting choices, which pushes more publicity and anticipation onto GOOMT, ensuring a healthy viewership for, at the very least, the first episode. phase 1 of evil genius complete. suckers

James is 25 to his role’s 27; Harry’s 43 to his role’s 48. they tried to intentionally cast a bit younger without jeopardizing the “wrong look” of their characters, thinking ahead that, should GOOMT get its four planned seasons, it’s going to take years to shoot, and so James and Harry will age and “grow” into the look/age of their characters.

(this thought process was based on the evolution of the cast of Stranger Things; no, the adults didn’t really have much differences in their appearances to show for in terms of age during the years it took to shoot, and they of course have modern makeup to fix any problems, but they are working against time. this sounds very confusing and contradictory to the above “they have time to grow into their characters so cast young” to a lot of critics and such, but the director is so fucking weird that people have given up on trying to figure that one out.)

other changes include dyeing James’s hair from auburn to blond (which will then be decided that he’ll be wearing a wig to avoid killing his hair lmao), and dyeing the correct grey pattern into Harry’s naturally dark brown hair. neither have to wear contacts, as WOW LUCKILY ENOUGH, James bears green eyes, and Harry, brown. Harry does get to have prosthetics made for his ears to make them elfin :3c

Harry was required to gain weight for the role and, contrary to the first link’s information, was NOT as pleased. James just has to maintain. it sucks a little (lot), for, to the knowledge of absolutely NOBODY and they’d like to keep it that way, they both suffer from eating disorders. that are the opposite of each other. and they have no idea they’re about to be each other’s triggers lmao RIP IN PIECES KEK

i honestly flip flop between how they first meet: was it a part of their final audition process, doing a couple scenes together to judge their chemistry, or did they meet the first time when they met everyone else (crew, production team, big wigs, etc)?? i have actual scenes/ideas as to how both scenarios play out, but i’ll spare y’all for now LOL

IRREGARDLESS (god i hate how that’s actually in the dictionary now), they hit it off splendidly. they make a point to hang out outside of production time, text, get to know each other. Harry gets to enjoy (not) the paparazzi experience for the first time and thanks he hates it :) so now the public gets better pictures of him, unflattering and flattering, out on his own and also out with James. it really fucking sucks and it makes Harry so anxious that he’s This Close to actually backing out, but.. can’t do it, for a multitude of reasons; the show must go on.

he eventually gets used to it and, with James (and in the future, Douglas and Heather), get to have a bit of fun with the paparazzi, on their own terms.

Harry hails from West Virginia Appalachia. he worked hard to get rid of his VERY thick Appalachia accent, and somehow got out of that holler when he was seventeen, right out of high school that day. there isn’t a person out there that could confidently snitch on Harry’s “normal” American accent (aka, Midwest). there have been a couple roles he was able to use it for, though. these days he practices it in private, feeling attachment to it after being so ashamed of his roots for all his life, finally trying to preserve a bit of his own history.

he’s also mega fudged personal information in order to scrub himself free of being a deep mountain hick (which he’d say himself that he was.. is). but now that he’s stepping into the limelight, he’s just waiting for that shoe to drop, knowing how snoopy people are and how information can just be plucked out of thin air, and he’s always HIGHLY valued his privacy.

yeah. he hired a therapist. there’re a lot of triggers he didn’t even know existed for problems he didn’t even know he was repressing.

Harry’s lived in the Los Angeles area/suburbs for about twenty years now, and along the lines, bought a house. he paid off the mortgage on his house just a couple years ago. his house is time capsule frozen smack dead in the 70s and in the “ranch” style. it’s a modest, unassuming abode, with shingles painted brown and wood strips hatching diamonds onto the smaller windows. the door is an orange-yellow with four textured smaller glass diamonds in dark red, orange, blue, and yellow.

mustard yellow curtains shield the living room behind the large and wide front window, where built-in planters with the same white border and hatch pattern hold seasonal flowers. a huuuge old oak tree shades most of the lawn, which is kept such a pretty green, and even partially shades the lazy snake of a walkway. it’s cement and bordered by earthy, multicolored bricks, a few lanterns alternating in distance to guide the way, and annuals planted amongst them.

the house had seen an exterior remodel, and when he saw the original pictures, it drove him absolutely crazy LOL so he fully plans to get someone else in and DO IT AGAIN and return his goddamn house to its proper exterior glory. and fix a few things. anyway,

the most important thing about his house is that he has a conversation pit. thank you for your time

he also drives an old 1987 Toyota Corolla LE sedan in that wonderful light blue metallic (8D8), totally unremarkable, and he loves it so much.

James moved to Los Angeles from Portland, Oregon. he was born in Idaho and went to Portland at seventeen to try to get his foot in the door in doing some theatre, make friends, have weird experiences, meet a girl, break up with her, meet another girl and have an exciting two-year romance, dabble in plaster sculpting, get REALLY super into/discover the nerdy interests he has now, come to kinda super hate Portland,

he went to audition for the comedy movie on a fuckin whim. he was in San Fransisco of all places when someone mentioned it and he was like. okay fair when is it?

and he jokes about this a lot in interviews, how it was a literal race against time and all odds to make it to the audition before the cutoff, like he was in some late 80s-mid 90s feel-good movie. James had about no knowledge of what he was auditioning for other than it was comedy, had nothing prepared, a fly’s sigh worth of knowledge of the character, and blew it all right out of the park, home run, won the championship.

life has been BONKERS since then. he’s been nominated for awards, been on red carpets, getting starstruck meeting people he thought that the potential to be meeting them would be through a wild LSD trip - and so busy, and so stressful, and he’s turning back to unhealthy coping mechanisms. he’s seeing a therapist - and just glad he never got into substance abuse.

too much of that one at his childhood home.

James doesn’t like the flashy mansions - or any really huge house. it’s only gonna be him most of the time! truth be told, he’s no party boy, and the vibes gotta be good. he instead got himself a sweet little industrial/exposed brick wall/repurposed warehouse/firehouse type loft. a LOFT! with BIIIG floor space to skateboard on. (oh yeah; he does that. it’s kinda cute seeing him nyoom through the sets/backlots all dressed up as his character James Sunderland, backpack and all)

AND A FIREMAN’S POLE! FUCK YEAH he’s having a great time dressing up the place in all his nerdiness and yeah.. buying some expensive bells and whistles like telescopes, outfitting the garage into a workshop.. some collection items.. installing an enormous fish tank in the wall in his bedroom so he can have his bed right up against it and stare at the fish..

it’s weird and lonely and James isn’t sure how long it’s gonna take to get adjusted. yeah, he has friends over, has been making new friends, busy schedule, blah blah.. but just.. weird. he likes the fish though, and that he can skateboard indoors without anyone saying jack shit about it, and really didn’t like the Dolce and Gabbana suit at all……. not much of a fan of the brand so far, anyway….. god, rich people are stupid about brands. (hipster of him; you can take the man out of Portland, Oregon, but..)

James thinks that it’s SICK that his character drove a 1977 Pontiac Ventura but can’t see himself ever driving one. he can appreciate vintage/classic/hot rods/vintage muscle cars (Road Runners are fucking SWEET and they go MEEPMEEP and the Firehawks are REAL cool), but…… he likes motorcycles. yeah, he rides motorcycles - and he’s not about any discourse. straight up doesn’t care.

he owns a 2017 Yamaha YZF-R3 ABS that is custom painted with (yeah, sparkly) He-Man/KISS theme. look. he’s 25 and stupid as fuck and he unironically loves He-Man and KISS. actually he doesn’t really know about KISS, he just likes a lot of the KISS merch he always saw in Spencer’s and the pinball machine was cool. anyway, KISS

BUT ANYWAY

Douglas pops up out of total nowhere. GOOMT has wrapped its first season and they’ve already been green lit for s2. fame is comin to the cast and crew, and god pls leave Harry alone!!! he was doing his best to go incognito one night, wearing a stupid beanie to hide his hair (nothing can be done about his beak, rip), dressed casually and Not-Harry Mason (which he’s figured out has more of A Look than he thought it could), and for the most part, he’s been flying under the radar tonight.

so he was heading down the sidewalk after having dinner with James and his girlfriend (met her on set; was a monster girl extra lmao), going for his little car waiting for him at a meter. but parked a car ahead of his Toyota, there’s this REALLY stunning beige, four door Chrysler New Yorker, circa late 1960s.. but couldn’t tag the exact year. Harry’s not too much of a car guy, but he can appreciate a good looking car.

so he goes to take a look. it’s evening, about 9p. Harry doesn’t notice someone sitting in the front seat, so when he bends to look through the passenger window he gets a HUGE jump scare when he sees someone peeking at him lmao, and when this enormous, 6’4” dude (in his early fifties, Harry guesses, with beautiful, fully grey hair, built Ford Tough like kinda soft but undeniably STRONG underneath, whew) steps out Harry wants to die but for two reasons and the first one goes in the fucking trash—

anyway Douglas apologizes for spooking him, Harry says sorry for being creepy looking at his car, they have a little talk about the car. vibes are amazing. Harry, after that weird lull of silence after conversation you can’t figure out how to proceed with, says his thanks and goodnight and goes to leave, when Douglas is like hey wait. you wanna come to trivia night?

Harry’s like, h u h ? and Douglas explains that he was heading in to trivia night at the bar/lounge right up the street, he’s meeting some friends there, wanna come along? Harry bluescreens a bit, gets some anxiety about Being Seen but. doesn’t let that hold him back. his gut says go, so he says sure, drops quarters into the meter so his car doesn’t get towed and LA is HELL, and away to the bar

packed place. Douglas’s (rather big) friend group are wedged onto two couches (and perching on the coffee table) in the back. they all say their hellos - and, realizing he didn’t want to use his actual name because people are already giving him the curious ‘i think i recognize you’ squint, Harry grabs a name and profession out of the air to hide behind for the night.

Dusty Farlow the home carpet cleaner gets to know a great group of people during the Los Angeles History Trivia Night (with a bonus round of landmarks haunted by celebrities from the silver age of Hollywood!) he’s amongst a mixed group of people ranging from age 22 (it seems) to about 60 (it seems). and yet. none of these people (except a couple of amused/curious looks), not even the old-timers, recognized the pseudonym he chose for the evening.

guess no one watched Dallas.

ha.

anyway the night wears on and Harry learns that Douglas is a glassblower and he “moonlights” (as he calls it) in making glass tiles, glass paperweights, Crown glass for windows, and kaleidoscopes. he didn’t get to hear much more on that front and only got bits and pieces about him where he could cuz it was hectic, and loud, and the conversations were everywhere.

anyway eventually Harry has to make his excuses and ago, he’s kinda getting claustrophobic and super tired, and starts to say goodbye but can’t see Douglas :( probably went to the bathroom but hhhh he’s seeing a cluster glancing at him and whispering and not-so-sneakily holding up a phone so it might be time to make like a tree and scram

he gets out into the night and starts down to his car and Douglas catches up to him, apologizes for having disappeared into the bathroom at the wrong time, they say their “thanks it was great hanging out” and then Douglas asks for his number……. ……. and Harry surprises himself by giving it to him, and Douglas returns the favor, sent a text, now they have each other’s numbers for sure

another goodbye, shyer? shy from Douglas too? and Douglas goes off, leaving Harry standing there like. what the fuck just goddamn happened here on this one night and Yeah so There’s That

i can jump WAY ahead to how Douglas gets cast BUT GOD I’VE GONE ON SO LONG KDFLKSFGHSDIG

ANYWAY that’s essentially the basics of actor AU, it’s a TV show, shenanigans ensue, there’s So Much and by god it goes even HARDER on set and how their professional lives flow and all those other interpersonal relationships and i have so much lore it’s so stupid lmfao

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST AND GOD BLESS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS GREAT BIG MESS 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[vanillann]

unsolved (spencer reid x reader)

a/n: i was watching buzzfeed unsolved when i came up with this idea so enjoy. also i know it’s not exactly right but i didn’t feel like going back and watching the ep so.

warning: swearing, talk of cases, and sexual innuendos

word count: 3.3k

“Hi, Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved! We’re your host Ryan and Shane.”

I sat in a spin by chair between the two, my legs crisscrossed as I spun as fast as I could with Shane picking at arm.

“This is (Y/N)-“ when I heard my name I dramatically grabbed Ryan’s arm chair, smiling at the camera “a good friend of ours.”

“I had never spoken to either of them before today,” I spoke directly into the camera, the widest smile on my face when Shane gasped.

“She exposed us!” He pointed an accusing finger at me, Ryan slowly reaching out and grabbing his hand.

“We need her for this case,” Ryan spoke mysteriously, as if he was in a mob of some sort.

“Yeah why is that?” I rested my elbow on the chair, placing my chin in my open hand as I looked between the two.

I would normally be shoved in the corner of my desk trying to avoid another weird product video. I didn’t want to wear another weight blanket that made me almost fall to the floor.

“We are doing a case today and from the gossip around the office, you’d be pretty familiar with it,” Ryan said nothing more as he held a picture up to the camera.

I looked to the viewfinder, my eyes going wide as I recognized the mugshot immediately.

“That’s the Reaper!” I pointed at the picture, grabbing Ryan’s wrist so I could get a better look.

“Is that your boyfriend or something?” Shane added, looking over my shoulder at the picture in my hand.

“No, the BAU worked in this case!”

I didn’t know my intense knowledge of BAU cases would make it around the office, but I suppose when you have a printed article of you standing with Agent Gideon and Hotchner word moves fast.

“You actually know a lot about BAU cases from what I hear,” Ryan almost smirked at me and I was close to attacking him.

“Yeah-“ I turned to the camera, thinking I should explain myself before people thought I was crazy “so when I was young my mother had a stalker.”

The room suddenly went from light and breezy to scary and stuffy, something I hated.

“Anyways, when my mother died he disappeared into thin air. I then got an internship here at Buzzfeed and suddenly I was being mailed pictures of myself.”

I felt Shane give a knee a quick squeeze, which made me smile but I said nothing about it.

“It is really bad, I’m not going into detail, that the FBI got involved. Gideon was my savior that day, Hotchner too. Since then I’ve kept up with their cases and Gideon still sends me letters even after he left,” I finished my story, smiling down at the case file Ryan held between his fingers.

“Enough sad story, let’s talk about murder!” I clapped my hand, Shane laughing at my excitement.

“Okay, before we get started with this video I would like to clarify this isn’t a normal unsolved case. While the case was pinned to a murderer, the real unsolved piece is what happened to him,” Ryan got into character, slowly opening the folder and reading off the first words.

“On June 5th, 1996, Tom Shaunessy was called to investigate a murder in Boston. It was a couple, laided into their chair with multiple gun shots to their head and torso-“

“Wait, in the car in Boston?” Shane asked.

“That’s what I just read,” Ryan replied.

I smiled to myself, already knowing the editing that would take place with the black screen and the blue and yellow words floating across.

“Isn't Boston super busy?”

“It has like 700 thousand people,” I spoke up, wondering what color my words would be in.

“How do you just know that?” Ryan looked over his shoulder at me, his eyebrows raised.

“If you saw the article I was currently writing you would understand,” I shrugged, moving in the chair so I could get a better look at the case file.

Ryan coughed, looking back down at the file to continue.

“When another set of murders came in, this time an older couple, Shaunessy, panicked as he found the first victim, Harry Goodwill, watching at the scene.”

“That was his signature,” I held a hand up like a child in class, smiling as I already knew what came next.

“Bingo!” Ryan pointed to me, smiling at my excitement.

“When this happened again, this time alone woman, Shaunessy called in the BAU-“

“You mean the love of (Y/N) life,” Shane cut in, smiling when I hit his shoulder.

“If you saw a picture of them you’d be in love too,” I shrugged, not thinking much about my words.

“Agent Aaron Hotchner joined the team and worked closely on this case with Shaunessy.”

“So this man just texted the FBI,” Shane started laughing before he could get his words out.

“I’m pretty sure there are rules,” Ryan looked over at Shane, looking at me when we tried to understand why he was laughing.

“I’m sorry, death shouldn’t be this funny,” Shane took a breath, making a hand motion for Ryan to continue. I started laughing at that, keeping it low so Ryan could continue.

“After 18 murders, there were no leads. The only consistent thing was he mostly killed couples and he left an item from his last victim at the crime scene. The BAU conducted that he was most likely killing the couple because of his own failed marriage or possibly one close to him.”

“So he started killing because he hated to love? I bet he hates Valentine’s Day,” Shane shrugged, his smile breaking across his face when I spoke up.

“Nah, he seems more like a Halloween type guy,” I shrugged, laughing when Ryan hit his elbow on the table.

“Okay okay, back to the good stuff,” I pointed at the file, laughing when Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Now victims 19 and 20 is where the story starts to twist. Amanda Bertram and George Foyet-“ I shivered at the name “we attacked by the Reaper.”

“Did you say attacked?”

“Yes, while Amanda Bertram was killed in the struggle Foyet manages to survive with serious injuries.”

“So this dude just accidentally forgets to kill him?” Shane almost yelled, reaching for the file to read himself but Ryan moved it back.

“He saw the ghost of Valentine and just ran,” I played on the joke earlier, which made the two laugh.

“The heart-shaped boxes of chocolate really made him shit himself,” Ryan barely got the words out, his laugh slowly turning into a cough.

“We shouldn’t joke about a murderer when we don’t know his whereabouts,” I laughed along.

“Wait, you’re telling me they lost him!”

“Yep,” I popped the “p”, smiling when Shane looked to Ryan who only shrugged,

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Was all he said before he continued the case.

“After this no new leads were found, it was later discovered that The Boston Reaper sent Shaunessy a note that if the investigation was shut now he would stop killing,” Ryan read the words off.

“I bet he ended the letter with “xoxo from your worst nightmare” with a lipstick stain,” I spoke without thinking, covering my mouth when I realized what I said.

“Oh he’d definitely come at you now,” Shane pointed at me, wiggling his eyebrows in the process.

“No way! The BAU will save me,” I shrugged, smiling as I imagined the team busting in the door at the last minute like they always did.

“Oh yeah the one dude, what’s his name,” Ryan started snapping his fingers as he thought over his words “Sp-“

“Spencer Reid!” I practically yelled the name, my smile only growing large at the mention of the handsome Doctor from the BAU team. While he didn’t work my case, I heard a little about him and he called my house phone trying to reach Hotch.

To say I was infatuated would be a small understatement.

“Him?” Ryan pointed at him, smiling wider at me.

“Who is this Reid boy and what are his intentions?” Shane folded his arms on the table like a father, looking between Ryan and I.

“I hope it's dirty,” I blurted out, covering my mouth again as I looked at the camera.

“Cut that out,” I started laughing when I heard Shane wheezing beside me.

“No we’re keeping that, that was quality content,” Ryan was laughing, pushing my chair slightly as I slowly joined in.

“I’m so grateful he works a busy job and will never see this,” I started coughing, which made Shane pat my back.

“Please take the obsession back to murder, please and thank you,” I nodded to the case file once everyone has calmed down.

“Okay okay, the cast went cold after that. No new murders ever appeared and the BAU left the case.”

“Spencer went to (Y/N)’s house,” Shane commented quickly.

“Until 2009 when a murder took place right outside of Boston, a couple killed on a hill. While this seemed like nothing at first, an eye was painted on the side of the door and glasses were found on the victim’s face. The glasses belong to Foyet,” Ryan read in his special voice.

“So the dude got bored and was like “Fuck my promise”?” Shane looked between both of us.

“Let him finish,” I patted Shane shoulder, looking at the file again.

“It was later announced to the public that Shaunessy was dead,” Ryan read, looking at Shane with raised eyebrows.

“Ohh, you should have led with that!”

Ryan rolled his eyes, going back to the file in front of him.

“Hotchner took up the case with his BAU team-”

“Spencer had to leave (Y/N)’s house early to get there in time,' ' Shane pushed my shoulder, my finger slowly starting to play with the little ring on my finger.

“I wish,” I spoke up, smiling at Shane when he shook his head.

“The team quickly gathered all the information possible, slowly putting the eye signature on the car with the sign off on the letter.”

“He didn’t sign it xoxo?” Shane asked, I shook my head sadly.

“Sorry to get your hopes up,” I spoke gravely, my mask cracking when Shane started smiling.

“I was readying for him to sign A like that show!”

I started laughing, my hand covering my mouth as Ryan tried to explain the show he was talking about.

“Why do they have to be pretty liars, am I pretty when I lie?”

“No,” I said the words so seriously I was shocked with myself. We all three started laughing suddenly.

I hadn’t been at Buzzfeed long, I had only made a few friends and I pretty much got dragged into the video when they needed a test dummy. This was my first video that didn’t make me want to rip my eyes out, I actually was having a great time with Ryan and Shane with the jokes and all.

“Okay,” Ryan coughed, finally reading the file again,” Many tried to brush it off as a copycat but Agent Hotchner refused to drop the case.”

“That’s my bestie,” I smiled, remembering the photo I had with him when the local news decided to take pictures of us standing outside the station. The photo was awkward and I doubt he even remembered my case but I didn’t really care.

“Then a few hours later an older couple, Arthur and Diane Lanessa, were found stabbed and shot. When the earlier victim, Nina Hale, was found on Diane's wrist, people started to worry.”

“Wait I thought he left the one dude glasses, who is still weird to me,” Shane spoke up again.

“That’s what I’m saying! He had his glasses yet he’s a copycat? Cops can be so stupid,” I rambled, still pissed about that to this day.

“The BAU split up to find Foyet, who went into hiding after his attack, to get more details. Agent Hotchner and Agent David Rossi found him staying in a house in Boston.”

“Why would you stay in Boston?” Ryan was the one to speak this time, his nose scrunched up as he thought it over.

“Right, like yes I almost died here let me stay,” Shane mocked Foyet, which made me laugh.

“Later that night The Reaper boarded a busy bus and killed the occupants of it. Many had theories on why he changed his MO but nobody will confirm or deny.”

“I think he was made at Hotch,” I spoke up. I had thought about this alot.

“Why do you think that?”

“He didn’t quite like Shaunessy, I don’t blame Shaunessy, but still. He stuck around even when he could have walked away,” I crossed my arms, slightly proud of my theory.

“You think he gave the same deal?”

“You don’t?” I looked at Ryan, his arms shrugging before he went back to the case.

“There was a cryptic message left on the side the bus along with the Reaper eye,”

“Cryptic message? Is this real?”

“Unfortunately,” I nodded, looking back to Ryan as he spoke.

“The BAU managed to decipher the code into a line of Foyet addresses-”

“Spender did it!”

“And how would you know?” Shane looked to me, raising his eyebrow at me with a little smirk.

“Because he had an eidetic memory and has an IQ of 187,” I spoke proudly, as if I actually knew the person I was talking about. Okay maybe I searched them on the internet one too many times.

“How do you know that?” Ryan asked, laughing at me now.

“Google,” I shrugged, laughing when Shane looked up from his hands.

“What does he even look like?” I held up my finger, fishing my phone out of my back pocket. I quickly unlocked it, placing my thumb print and moving on, and tapped the searched bar. I quickly typed in his name, thankful it didn’t pop up in purple because I couldn’t handle that much teasing.

“Here,” I placed the phone on the table, laughing when Shane moved closer.

“He has a Wikipedia,” Shane looked over his shoulder at Ryan and I, speaking like a kid on Christmas.

“You both have Wikipedia,” I shrugged, not seeing the appeal of the whole life on display.

“You don’t,” Shane pointed out. I jokily pouted, acting all sad as I looked up to the ceiling.

“We can make you one,” Ryan patted my shoulder laughing when I smiled.

“Can we say I’m married to Doctor Spencer Reid?”

Both nodded at the same time, my hand going over my hand and I laugh at their telekinesis response.

“Okay finished this case so (Y/N) and I can stalk Mr. Reid,” Shane patted Ryan shoulder and I lightly smiled to myself.

He seemed like nothing but I finally made some friends, I mean friends I could talk to outside of work.

“Once they arrived at Foyet house they found gallons of blood pulled from the back of the house.”

“So they killed him?”

“Just wait,” I held my finger up, smiling when Shane deflated slightly.

“Multiple police were attacked, even Derek Morgan with the BAU. The specific are not out to the public but a nurse claimed that The Reaper stole Morgan credentials,” Ryan read off the paper, smiling when Shane gasped.

“That’s insane, this case is insane!”

I laughed along with Ryan, all of ours eye scanning over the paper now and we waited for the next bit of information.

“After looking over past cases filed, the BAU were confused on why The Reaper would kill Foyet. Their tech analysis did research to induce that Foyet had multiple aliases, claimed he had them to feel safe from The Reaper, actually had multiple assault charges, and his parents were killed when he was six.”

“Oh my, he killed them didn’t he!” Ryan and I both nodded, Shane’s hands flying up to his hair as he looked between us.

“It was him the whole time! No way!”

“That’s what I said,'' I looked into the camera for the first time in awhile, it felt nice and easy with them. The video was coming easy unlike trying to do awkward yoga poses with strangers.

“They managed to trace everything back to Foyet, concluding he was The Reaper. After more research, Foyet’s phone was tracked to Roy Colson's house. A journalist would recently wrote an article on The Reaper.``

“This feels like a Scooby-Doo mission at this point,” Shane sounded out of breath, looking to the camera with wide eyes.

“We got some work to do now!” I jokily sang the theme song, making the two laugh lightly before moving on to the end of the case.

“The local police arrest Foyet at the house, Colson thankful survived. Foyet was taken to prison immediately after arrest.”

“I thought they lost him?”

“If you don’t let him finish,” I joked, Shane laughed as we finally let Ryan finish.

“Foyet was found in his cell later throwing up blood and convulsions. As being rushed to the hospital, the ambulance was ambushed and Foyet escaped. No more information has been released on the whereabouts of Foyet.”

“They really lost him!”

Shane was in shock at the discovery, my hand covering my mouth quickly before I answered.

“I bet he’s working for the FBI, they hire people when they’re too dangerous.” I tried my best to be serious about the theory but I knew my smile was peaking thought.

“He’s probably the BAU’s personal hitman!”

I laughed with Ryan, my chair had slowly moved closer to his as I kept leaning to see the case file.

“Where do you think Foyet it?”Ryan spoke into the camera, talking to the people that would watch this in a few weeks.

“I think (Y/N) should call her smarty-pants husband and ask,” Shane spit out his last joke before the video ended.

“Yeah, Doctor Spencer Reid please call me with information about the case.” I pointed into the camera like Uncle Sam and winked dramatically.

“He doesn’t have your number,” Ryan reminded me. I let my finger fall, thinking over my words before I pointed back at the camera.

“Email my business email,” I nodded. Shane and Ryan both hit my shoulder. both hands going to my arm to cover them.

“Say bye to our favorite guest ever,” Ryan waved in my face.

“Bye!”

I laughed as the video played on my laptop, laughing when my voice was replaced with light green words floating on the screen. I scrolled down lightly, reading a bunch of comments. I smiled when most were asking if I would ever be on another Unsolved.

My phone went off beside me, my hand reaching for it as I paused the video and moved to my email. I was waiting for an email about an article I was writing and I couldn’t stop hitting refresh.

Shane: i’ve seen two ship edits of (y/n) and spencer reid on my instagram already

Ryan: i saw an edit of shane fall out a chair

I laughed at the messages, the group chat the three of us had formed titled “The Reapers Bitches” never stopped as we had grown a close bond.

I heard the little ding from my laptop, also most screaming when I slammed the refresh button and screamed when I saw an email with a little unread dot beside it.

I didn’t think twice, pushing the email and reading over it quickly.

From: reidemail@gmail.com

Hello, this is Doctor Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I recently saw a video of you mentioning me and my team about a case we worked on a few years back. While I legally can’t share any details with you in this case, I would be open to speaking with others. Please email me back!

I was going to scream, maybe cry, maybe both at this point. I read the email two or three more times, trying to comprehend what I just read.

He did see, shit he did see it. I heard my phone going off beside me, my hand picking it up and typing without reading what they were saying before.

Me: Spencer Fucking Reid just emailed me

I let my phone fall to my lap, reading the email one more time.

“Thank you Buzzfeed Unsolved,” I whispered under my breath.

join the taglist!

permanent taglist:

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criminal minds taglist:

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[darkdevasofdestruction]

Where they take you on vacation - 7 Brothers + Diavolo

Found out the edits are made by @devilgram​ who has such a beautiful blog and posts so many Obey Me! things that are so cool! You did a great job with all the edits! <3

LUCIFER

Lucifer would like to take you to Romania, mostly because of all the stories of the great Wallachian ruler Vlad Tepes/The Impaler and wants to find out more about his ruthless yet effective methods of insuring no crime happens in his country ( and hopes they will work on his brothers too ).

Apart from the gorgeous landscapes from the mountainside, the possibility to go to the seaside, or see the different types of regional architecture ( like the unique Black Church ) from different cities, he’d also like to get a full experience of the language, the music, the traditions ( customs, clothes, foo ) and feel for a day like a native from the old ages. 

Even more, he’d find it very nice if you were to try out one of the traditional outfits, and would take a picture of you at the mountains, on a nice field, and put the developed picture in his coat, looking at it whenever he is working and misses you.

He can get pretty salty about the fact that there are still people who believe the Bran castle is Dracula’s true castle, instead of the Poienari fortress and wouldn’t hesitate to express his displeasure, but would appreciate the castle and everything displayed there nonetheless.

Also, would be the first to go to the Horror house, holding your hand if you get scared, and would feel incredibly proud that you trust him and feel safe around him, but would get such a kick out of using his demon form while at it, to scare the actors there.

His whole aesthetic draws people near as if they would actually approach a vampire royalty, which allows him to puff his chest out in pride, so hey, you’re dating a vampire now!

Would take you out at the fanciest restaurant, just to feel how the life at this place is.

Would love to take long walks on the beach at the sea, your feet in the water, holding hands, and just admiring the moon and stars while waves are your music.

You’d mostly stay silent and enjoy the atmosphere, but sometimes you talk a few words, and that’s when Lucifer is the most relaxed, calm and tender.

He would saying that he loves you with such ease for the first time in so long, and the kiss on your forehead would be so soft that it brings you more butterflies than any kiss ever could.

Lucifer looks so ethereal in the light of the moon, it’s almost like he’s glowing, and when you tell him, he’d actually blush softly, before chuckling and stroking your hair, not denying, nor agreeing with your statement.

---

Mammon

Mammon loves to spend money and grab it, so what better place than Las Vegas?

He’d love for the two of you to dress super fancy and flashy, in matching colours if possible, go gambling, scam people and experience the luxury night lifestyle, go to clubs, loud music and expensive alcohol and all that.

But Mammon isn’t all about the flashy and exciting night time, instead, he would mostly love to just see the world with you by his side, and his goals is to make you happy, to he does everything he can to go sightseeing with you and reads in advance about whatever places you could visit and tells you some fun trivia about the place, he’s treating you to the fanciest food and drink places, and would spoil you rotten when going shopping, loving to see you do a little catwalk for him every time you get out of the changing booth.

He’d definitely insist on buying super cute animal Pyjamas.

He’s a huuuuuge fan of the “His Queen/Her King” trope and loves showing you off as much as possible, so get matching Tshirts or jackets and he would be SOOO proud and would laugh confidently and proud all the time, his arm around you, saying how cool you two are together and all that.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he honestly doesn’t believe he’s good enough for you, but when he sees how your dazzling smile is always directed to him and you cling on his arm whenever you watch the Lights Show on the big buildings, see the beautiful fireworks or watch the impressive singing fountain...Well, he can’t help but blush and kiss your forehead, feeling butterflies in his stomach.

He’s the kind of guy who would spam his DevilGram with either couple pictures in different places you visit, or just cute pics of you or you two messing around, and his account is actually very popular for the #CoupleGoalz trend.

At night, he would like to either cuddle with you and watch a movie, or go drive through the city at night, watch the night lights, and go on a cliff, stargazing and chatting openly about everything, because honestly, this guy is always dismissed and insulted by his brothers, it’s always a relief and a fresh air when he can be himself and just...Talk with someone. 

---

Leviathan

Levi is the biggest weeb in the world, so the first place you’d visit together is Japan.

Anime conventions, wearing cute kimonos while going to festivals or roaming the streets of Kyoto or Akihabara, couple cosplay (Henry and the Lord of Shadows), buying merch of your favourite anime/manga/game, going to Vocaloid concerts, buying the newest Ruri-chan figurines, trying out new video games that just came out and so on.

Actually wants to go to a Pokemon cafe and fangirls SO much about all the cute pokemon themes there.

He would get you all the cutest Pokemon plushies, especially if you’re not all that into Pokemon but want to share that interest with him, so expect a Skitty, Vulpix, Shaymin, Eevee and all its Eeveelutions, Milotic plushie, while he would already be collecting plushies for the rarest Pokemons, but he’s incredibly happy that you want to do this with him.

He also gets an Ekans just for the Lolz and let’s out his tail, mostly for troll purposes, but it makes you laugh and he could swear his heart stopped beating and his cheeks were redder than ever.

He secretly got you a maid outfit and would love to see you wearing it, but he’s too embarrassed to actually say.

He would blush SO much seeing you in a kimono with a nice hair pin and a fan, while going to see the Sakura trees blossoming and you look like the Sengoku type of heroines from the dating sims he plays so much (to get experience and not fuck up with you), but somehow, you’re so much beautiful than any CG he’s every seen, no matter how gorgeous the art is.

He would get lots of packs of Pocky and despite not saying it out loud, would put a pocky in his mouth and you’d get the hint and munch on the other end of the pocky, in the end kissing him softly.

Levi.exe stopped working.

He would love taking pics of you alone, because you’re so beautiful, and would edit them to look as ethereal as possible, if you want, to even have fantastic backgrounds, and would take pride in how popular your DevilGram/InstaGram is.

He also changed his Lockscreen to have you with your hand in a half-heart gesture, while yours has him with the other half, so whenever he looks at the clock, or sees a new notif, he sees you smiling, with a cute kitten filter.

His Wallpaper is the two of you kissing, edited with a few hearts, sparkles and a little “I love you” written in cursive in a corner (you edited the pic and suggested you both use it, but he denied, so you changed it yourself for him too, while he was busy gaming, and he liked it so much that he couldn’t change it back to Ruri-chan.)

---

Satan

Satan would choose England first for so many reasons!

He’s such a perfect gentleman and seeing everyone so polite and chivalrous there makes his heart bloom and would up his gentleman shills even more, wanting to impress you and make your heart skip with everything he does.

Loves to take you to different castles, see in real life everything he read in books and saw in movies or TV series, and he’s so mesmerised by the beauty of everything that he forgets he promised to be your guide, but his bright smile and the way his eyes sparkle in curiosity and glee make up for everything.

Besides, he’d definitely go back to you and explain in very precise detail the reason for his fangirling.

He’s a little nerd so bookstore dates are a huge YES, and more - CAT CAFES where you can read at your heart’s content. HUGE YES.

You’d both get our of there with tons of books that you will read together, cuddled up under the blankets while enjoying an aromatic tea that Satan prepared for you, together with some nice scones.

He’d want to go with you to Shakespeare’s grave, Dicken’s house, would like to see anything involving the Romantics and so on, since he’s in love with British literature.

Satan wants to go see the Harry Potter theme park so much, and would buy tons of merch for the two of you, and wants to go in full Hogwarts robes and wand with you.

Would take a gazillion pics of you together, that only you can see since it may ruin his reputation with his brothers for geeking out, but he’d love it if the universe was actually real.

He’d also take you to King’s Cross to take pic near the wall where you get to the 9 3/4 Platform.

And no trip to England could exist without a visit to Sherlock’s house, pretending to be detectives, and at Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum to admire all the figures and potentially take troll pics with them.

---

Asmodeus

Asmo wastes no time in taking you to Paris, of course!

And the first thing you do is have a coffee at the restaurant located on top of the Eiffel Tower.

He would, throughout all the trip, take tons of selfies EVERYWHERE, and aeshtetic pics of either you alone, him alone, or together.

He’s a Devilgram and Devilr celebrity, after all!

Loves going to all the little cafes and drink a hot beverage with you while looking and judging all the passer-bys, how they would never compare to how beautiful and fashionable you two are.

He takes you to the Versailles Palace while wearing the most glamorous outfits, and despite all the pics taken, he will tell you stories of when he visited the place long ago, and more, will tell you of the paintings displayed, since he’s rather knowledgeable.

Asmodeus will take you everywhere, but first, the Lafayette Galleries, all while streaming every second there, to shop everyone how amazing the place is.

Would pics the both of you sooo many pretty brand clothes, new skin care routine and make up products, that you almost wonder where he has all the money from, especially to pay someone to carry them back to your place.

Would take you to a lingerie shop where he’d make you try on all the cutest outfits and would buy them all, especially because he thinks they will make you more confident and wants to make sure you never thing bad of yourself, because if you’re dating him, then you’re obviously the most beautiful being he’s ever seen, inside and out. (he doesn’t count here, of course)

His wallpaper is a selfie of you two smiling and making a peace sign, from the top of the Eiffel Tower, seeing all Paris in the background, at evening, with the beautiful sky and the night lights all over.

Would take you on a cruise on Seine, serenading and drinking a glass of bubbly champagne, admiring all the buildings and the happy people sitting on the banks of the River, enjoying the scenery.

And of course, there’s no perfect trip to the City of  Love without some very tender and sensual love-making, with so many compliments, praises, soft touches and gentle kisses from Asmodeus, followed by a relaxing bath with milk, honey and rose petals, scented candles, bubbles and ambiental music, and of course, a lot of cuddling all night long.

---

Beelzebub

Beelzebub would want to go to Italy, since it’s the country with the best human food, and what better place to eat it them its home country?

Would actually love to go sightseeing with you and seeing all the pretty stuff there is.

He appreciates the architecture, statues and paintings of every historical place, loves to find out more about the country’s history and traditions and would like to take scenic pictures of all the places you visit...

And make a couple album where he puts pics with either you alone or together.

It’s his most treasured possession and nobody except Belphie knows about it, and while he is happy that his brother is happy, he would say it’s so cheesy.

Would have fun when doing the classic “Pushing the Pisa Tower” picture, would like to sing when you go on a Gondola ride in Venice, and pretend to be a gladiator at the Colosseum, while you’re his Caesar.

If you get him a necklace or a keychain, he’d never take it off and has it as his lucky charm, kissing it whenever he misses you or wants the day to go good.

After he understands how the food is made, he’d want to make it himself, so you cooking together would be so cute and fun, and the way you see the love and tenderness in his eyes as he looks at you laughing, while your face is covered in flour...

He’s such a precious and soft baby, and he loves you so much.

Also, he’d love to carry you around just for fun and because he loves holding you close to him, so either bridal style on on his shoulder, you say it, and he’s gonna do it.

Will also like to take lots of short videos with you two, just fooling around, giggling, laughing, making jokes, kissing, pretending to be kittens, having flour fights and all that, since they’re beautiful memories and whenever he’s sad, he watches them and he forgets the reason he was sad in the first place.

---

Belphegor

Belphegor would take you to New Zealand, because he saw how beautiful and green the landscape were, thanks to the Lord of the Rings movies, so he wanted to see what would be like stargazing on such a flowery field, or sleeping in a Hobbit hole.

He’s pretty sleepy all the time, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t take you to see the big cities as well, eat out, shop for souvenirs and so on, but his heart is taken by the simplicity and peace the countryside and forests hold.

Belphie would actually like to have his head on your lap as you stay at the bottom of a tree and read, much like Froddo Baggings would, waiting for Gandalf.

It’s a guilty pleasure of his, but he wants to see ‘Gandalf’s’ fireworks, and when a festival like that happens, he’d hold your hand tight, having a soft smile on his face and a tender look in his eyes.

Despite not saying it very often, he will confess his love for you.

It’s barely above a whispers, but it’s genuine.

It’s simple, small, but meaningful and beautiful nonetheless.

As you stargaze on the field, he’d tell you the names of all stars and constellations that you can see, and would tell you some trivia he knows about them.

Would take a few pics here and there, but his favourite one is one where you two are on the ground outside, both your heads on his favourite pillow, while looking at each other, both of you having such genuine and pure love in your expressions.

If he ever wakes up earlier than you, and likes to troll a bit, he’d get his tail out and tickle your noes, smirking at how cute your half-asleep reactions were, but would play innocent when you ask about it, only kissing your nose to make you forget and reassure you that it was only a dream (it wasn’t).

---

Diavolo

Diavolo is so easily excitable, despite his age and title for the next Devil Lord, but honestly, he wants to take you to Iceland to see the Northern Lights that you spoke so fondly about.

There are so many pretty things to see in the Devildom alright, but none of them quite as fascinating to him as how the sky lights up with so many different and beautiful shades of green, blue and pink, it’s almost unreal!

Who would have thought that the Human world could hold such natural wonders?

He could have sword you were a witch or something, and just wanted to impress him with your magic, as if charming him wasn’t enough, but this beauty makes him behave even more like a child, leaving him speechless and breathless.

Diavolo would kiss and hug you, spinning your around so many times, if you allow him, you forgot to count, which is his way of thanking you for showing him this place and he’s honestly just so happy that he can share this precious moment together with you.

You tell him some old stories about how they say the ancestors’ souls watch over everyone from up there, and that even the animals who died have their souls there, living in peace and quiet.

Despite knowing it’s obviously not true, the tales humans come up with are so creative and make so much sense to their beliefs, he’s genuinely fascinated by all these old stories and would like for you to tell him more.

Iceland’s landscapes are also to be taken into account, and Diavolo will take thousands of pics of you literally everywhere, just because you’re so cute and he’s so damn happy and wants many memories together.

Would like for you to take a selfie with his phone, while at the Northern Lights, and would make Lucifer frame it so he can have it on his desk whenever he’s working, and whenever he gets bored, tired, or just misses you, he’d gaze fondly at the picture and would occasionally kiss it.

[berrynarrybanana]

happy with you | H.S

A/N: For my darling wife @bfharry . I sincerely apologize for being late and I’m sorry this is so shit but I am stuck in a cabin in the mountains with terrible service and a horrible WiFi connection. I cranked this piece out earlier this morning for the #boyfriendathon fic challenge and I hope that everyone enjoys. Thank you to Olivia for putting this lovely challenge together. You’re aces babe and I love you!!!😘

P.S I did not edit but I probably will later!

It was juvenile really. 

After six months of dating and two months of living together through a pandemic, it was bound to happen at some point. Living together was a lot of fun at first. It almost felt like playing house at first, every day filled with fun activities and countless kisses stolen from each other. Every morning you would wake up together before spending a little too much time kissing on each other in bed. Occasionally, the odd blowjob or facesitting excursion would get in the way of starting your work day, but you really didn’t mind. From there, you would both wander into the kitchen for tea(him) and coffee (you) before starting breakfast together. 

Harry was a master chef, taking care of each and every minuscule detail as if it were surgery and someone’s life depended on it. You always sat back, clicking away at your keyboard until all of your work emails were sorted and answered. When breakfast was fixed, the two of you snuggled up in his breakfast nook while eating and talking softly. From there, your day consisted of buzzing around each other while you both tried to work without getting in each other’s way. 

But it was bound to happen. 

“You deleted my entire proposal, Harry!” The tone of your voice was harsh, a sarcastic laugh following your words. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now? It’s going to take me hours to retype that whole thing and it’s due in twenty minutes.” 

“It’s not like I meant to do it!” He tossed his hands up, exasperated and frustrated by your snippy tone. He had already apologized for it a million times. “Bloody christ, you’ve got such a temper! I can’t undo it, so why are ya still yellin’ at me!” 

“Because I’m so frustrated and at this point, I’m tired of seeing your fucking face!” It was out of your mouth before you could take it back. Your feet stomped along the tiles of the kitchen floor for a brief second before you were being pulled back into Harry’s chest. “Let me go!” 

“You’re tired of seeing my face?” Harry sneered, his eyes growing dark as his face turned the perfect shade of red. “Then maybe you should go home.” 

He released you then, stalking off somewhere until you heard a slamming door echo throughout the house. The sound flipped a switch inside of your brain, tears welling up in your eyes as you realized you overreacted just a little. You stood in his kitchen, sobbing as you tried to calm yourself down. You didn’t mean it and neither did he, but you were devastated that you upset him so much that he wanted you to go home. When you were done wiping at the tears on your cheeks, you sat down on the barstool at his kitchen island.

After a quick email to your boss, explaining why your proposal wasn’t sent and that you needed the rest of the day, you set off for Harry’s bedroom. The door slamming definitely came from downstairs and you assumed that meant he was either in his studio or he went for the pool house. You decided to give him his space as you crawled into his massive bed, resting your head on his pillow with a heavy heart and tired eyes. Maybe it was too soon for you to be living together like this? You loved Harry and you wanted your relationship to go the distance. But maybe things were moving too fast for you to handle. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to fight off another wave of tears that were building up behind your waterline. 

“Darling?” Harry’s voice startled you, his presence a lot closer than you expected when you opened your eyes. “You alright?” 

“No.” You whimpered, your lower lip shaking a little as you shook your head. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch.” 

“Hey now,” He tutted, climbing under the covers before he wrapped his arms around your body. “I don’t want to hear you say that again. You weren’t being a bitch, you were just upset. S’perfectly normal and I’m not upset with you.” 

“I didn’t mean what I said.” You cried into his shoulder, tucking your arms around his body as he cooed softly. “I love your face and I want to see it all the time.” 

“I know, darling.” He let out a soft chuckle, brushing a hand over the back of your head as his lips pressed over your forehead. “I know you didn’t mean it.” 

“I love being here with you and I really don’t want to go anywhere….but I’m scared.” You confessed, tilting your head back as you sniffled. Harry’s brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at you. He lifted his hand, pulling the sleeve of his hoodie over his finger before he wiped under your nose. “Gross.” 

“You were dripping.” He chuckled. “Why are you scared, love?” 

“Because this is all so soon.” You cleared your throat. “I don’t want us to fall apart before we even have the chance to start and I’m afraid living together is putting a strain on us.” 

“All because of one fight?” He said. “We’re going to fight, darling. It would happen even if we were living separately, I know it would. It’s only natural to disagree with each other or to be upset when something happens. We’re only human.” 

“So you don’t want me to go?” You asked. 

“No, I really don’t.” He confessed. “And I’m honestly surprised we’ve made it this far without going for each other’s throats. Think we beat Mitch and Sarah out on that one.” 

“Those two are so zen.” Your eyes widened. “They’ve been fighting.” 

“Sarah’s drumming is very disturbing to Mitch’s writing process and she doesn’t like the way he eats pasta.” Harry rolled his eyes. “We’re going to be fine, love. But if you really want some time alone or you’re thinking about going back-” 

“I don’t want to go anywhere.” You whispered. “I want to stay right here with you.” 

“I wouldn’t be upset if you wanted to go home.” He said softly, pressing his forehead against yours. “I want you to be happy.” 

“I’m happy with you.” With a soft kiss to the tip of his nose, you knew that everything would be okay. “But I really do have to say, Sarah has a point with that pasta thing. You know you slurp when you eat spaghetti-” 

“Oi! I do not slurp!” He cried out, pulling back to look down at you. “You cheat at Scrabble!” 

“I do not!” You laughed, shocked by his accusation. 

“Why are you always on your phone then!” A smug smirk settled over his lips as your cheeks grew warm. “I knew it!” 

“I don’t always know how to spell the words I’m thinking of!” You groaned, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. 

“Well, if we’re going on about things we dislike,” He started. “Let me say a few things about you that I love.” 

“Do tell.” You grumbled. 

“I love when you’re sleepy because it’s almost like seeing you drunk. You stumble around and you forget what you’re saying in the middle of a sentence. I love when you’re snuggling up to my side even though we haven’t left each other alone for the entire day. It’s like you’re still happy to see me...to be with me even though we’ve been together for months now.” 

“I am.” You whispered. “I love how thoughtful you are. Like, when you get out of the shower you leave the water running because you know I want to hop in before I get too cold. And I love the way you sing under your breath all the time, even when you don’t notice you’re doing it!” 

“I do that a lot?” He asked, a soft chuckle escaping him as you nodded. “You know what else I love?” 

“What?” You tilted your head back, looking into his eyes as he smiled. 

“You.” 

It felt as though the world stopped spinning. 

It felt as though you were the only two left in the world and that nothing else mattered because Harry loved you. Like earlier, your eyes began to water with emotion and your heart was pounding hard against your ribcage. You felt so full and warm and happy and loved. Surging forward, you pressed your lips to his with a wet giggle. He was quick to accept your sappy and tearful kiss, molding his lips with yours in a perfect rhythm. When you realized you hadn’t said it back to him, you pulled away with a quick gasp. Harry's lips trailed over your cheek as you spoke. 

“I love you, too.” 

And despite the annoying things about your boyfriend that got on your nerves, you really did love him with your whole heart. 

That alone was enough to ensure you that everything would be okay. 

[harryskalechips]

The rookie in the playing field

A/n This was really cute, i think it might be a fav! Anyways, this is just a one shot, I don’t think I’ll be writting another part unless someone requests LOL anyways, enjoy!

Harry has had the longest crush on his best friend’s sister, luckily for him a beer pong game got him just where he needed to be. With her. 

fluff and mentions of smut! ( not edited )

Word count: 2008

The loud music was blasting through the Alpha Sigma Phi frat house. It wasn’t a surprise since parties and raves were always occurring throughout the week for the boys to have some fun. Y/N however, usually never came to these parties. She knew better than to get pissed drunk in a house full of horny men.

Tonight though was different. It wasn’t the cliché story of her going to meet a frat boy who needed her to tutor him. It was her older brother who called her down to the house for an “emergency” yet she didn’t know what had actually happened. Thomas, her older brother made a bet with his best friend Harry, another member of their frat. The bet was just on a game of beer pong, being the competitive duo they are, Thomas bet his sister in exchange for Harry’s range rover. Too bad, Thomas knew exactly what his best friend’s weakness is; his little crush on his baby sister.

“Thomas!” Y/N calls her brother’s name as she catches a sight of him lying on the wall near the steps entering the house. “Are you okay? What happened?” She asks frequently, touching her brother and checking if he’s been hurt.

“Oh yay! My baby sister is here!” Thomas enthusiastically says as he trips over himself, trying to get up. He’s very well drunk.

“What’s wrong? Why did you call me?” Y/N couldn’t help but feel angry at her brother who called her to his house foolishly for no reason.

“You got to help me sis.” Thomas slurs as he drags his sister into the house. It was loud, the string lights that once hung on the walls now dragged on the wooden floors as college students danced and slobbered on one another. Thomas brings her to their living room as she catches a sight of a sober Harry sitting on the couch unamused, as he watches his friends play another stupid college game. “Harry!” Thomas yells as he drags you closer towards his best friend. “Look, I brought Y/N!” Y/N closes her eyes in embarrassment as Harry looks at her.

She knew Harry for two years now as he was a senior and she’s a junior. She met him a couple times when he would come over for family dinners or when she would visit her brother. He was very quiet though… around her. He never tried to get to know her, only catching him stare at her a couple times or little smiles from here to there. Yet, the funny thing is Harry didn’t mind being loud and friendly to her parents. He didn’t mind participating in the parties with her brother. He was also carrying the reputation around the university that he was indeed the hottest guy any girl can sleep with. She had a bit of a crush on him because he was so mysterious. She wanted to know who he was.

“Why did you bring her?” Harry asks unimpressed as he keeps a frown on his face.

“Our bet was-” Thomas slurs as he let’s go of his sister’s hand.

“I know what it was.” Harry interrupts. He didn’t want drunk Thomas to let Y/N know that Harry was interested in taking her on a date. He didn’t want Y/N to know he had this crush on her ever since she sat in the back of her brother’s car while he glanced at her through the rear mirror.

She was breathtaking, At least for Harry. He liked how simple she was. Her casual wear was just leggings and a sweatshirt. She didn’t wear too much makeup and she spent all her time in the library. She may be the cliché girl any frat boy can fall head over heels for but for Harry, he likes to think he was different. She was simple yet she was daring. She hides her dirty wild side that Harry wanted to see so badly. He heard Thomas once in a while skip over some details about her when she was in high school and he was interested almost suddenly. How little did Thomas know that his best friend and his little sister had so much in common.

“She shouldn’t be here right now, Thomas.” Harry looks at his best friend as the girl beside him took a few steps back. Y/N was definitely feeling the vibe Harry didn’t want her presence at the moment.

“You asked for her.” Thomas blurts out as Y/N widens her eyes. Harry asked for her to be here tonight?

“Not tonight though, There’s so many guys here who are way out of their minds, She’s not safe.”

“I think I can handle myself, Harry.” She interrupts their discussion as she steps up once again. “Why did you ask for me anyways?” Thomas laughed… like really hard. Their friends around them are smirking at the conversation being held between the three.

“Y/N, did you know Harry and I had a bet while playing beer pong today? He won but like I’m pretty sure he cheated.” Thomas yells over the loud music.

“Okay.” Y/N glances at Harry who was staring at the coffee table, clenching his jaw hard.

“Thomas, shut up.” Harry stands up and threatens his best friend to close his mouth. In reality, Harry was only acting this way because his secret would be blurted out tonight. Of course, he wanted to take Y/N on a date but not tonight! He wanted to do it romantically and not have his drunk best friend call her over not even 15 minutes after the game.

Thomas rolls his eyes. “Y/N, Harry has a crush on you!” Thomas smiles at his little sister as she widens her eyes, caught off guard. Harry likes me? Y/N thought to herself. The boy gave no signs whatsoever, he can have anybody in the world but he’s interested in me?

“I do-” Harry stutters trying to stare Y/N in the eyes but he can’t, especially when he knows damn well it’s a lie.

“Harry, it’s fine! I support it! Now you two go to a room and fuck so I can find some girl for myself!” Thomas waddles to his friends and lands on them, making them groan.

Without a word, Harry drags Y/N to his room upstairs leaving the party to the rest of the boys. Y/N stands awkwardly in his clean room, taking in her surroundings of the pretty drawings and paintings pinned up around his walls. Harry lets out a sigh as he locks his door and faces Y/N. He’s never really had a conversation with her. The real tense aura swirls around them both as Harry has his hands on his hips, what should he do?”

“So do you like me or not?” Y/N asks as she keeps her hands in the back of her jean pockets, biting her lip. What should she do?

Harry looks up at her and stares at her pretty mouth. Fuck, the things he can do to that naughty thing. “Yeah, I do.” He closes his eyes. One may probably wonder why it was so hard for a frat boy to confess his feelings to his best friend’s sister. You may probably wonder why is Harry acting like Edward when he first took in Bella’s scent. He’s acting as if resents the poor girl in front of him, even though that is far from the reality he faces.

“Why are you acting like that?” Y/N continues on, “Why do you always act like that?” Harry lifts his eyes to see her, standing in his room with a pout.

“Like what?”

“Like you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Y/N” He walks closer to her as he lets his shoulders fall. For the first time, they both enjoyed each other’s warmth. Something they both have been looking for ever since they met one another. “I’m just shy.” He smirks while she laughs and walks away from him so she can sit on his bed.

“Shy? More like avoiding being with me in the room almost every time.”

“I’m here now though, aren’t I.” He shrugs his shoulders and puts his hands in his jeans as he walks to sit beside her on the bed.

“You know I don’t know anything about you right?” Y/N smiles at him as she eyes his picture frames filled with his family, she assumed.

“My fault.” He laughs. “Look, I do want you to know more about me. I mean, I like you I really do.” he pauses, “Tonight, Thomas and I had a bet and he made the whole thing up, I wasn’t going to disagree with it because I kind of wanted it too.”

“What was it?”

“We made a bet on my range rover and me getting a date with you.” His cheeks flush red as he laughs. The first real emotion that Y/N had ever witnessed from him, at least for her anyways.

“So you like me?” She bites her lip.

“Well, you don’t have to like me back. Maybe go on a date with me?”

“What happens if I tell you…” Y/N teases as she makes her way in the center of his bed right before taking off his shoes.

“What?” He smirks at her as he watches her get comfortable in his bed.

“I like you too. Since the first time I saw you.”  He widens his eyes as he takes his shoes off too and hovers over her.

“You did, Baby? You thought I was cute too?” He teases her as he kisses the top of her nose.

“More like hot.” She licks her lips as she watches his breathing change.

“I wish I can take you here right now.” He whispers in her ear as he takes a hold of her hips right underneath her sweater.

“I wish too.” Y/N intertwines her fingers into his hair.

“Can’t though, wanna treat you right. Take you on a proper date first love.”

“Can’t we just say this is a pre date ice breaker.” She runs her finger mischievously down his throat.

“I don’t know about that.”

“Wanna feel you though!” Y/N whines. She may look like an innocent girl but Harry wasn’t wrong, she was a bit wild, she just never appears at the frat parties.

“You want me to touch you?” Harry runs his fingers to her core, biting his lip as he watches her bite hers too.

“I just want you.” She pouts. “I have to tell you something though.” She lets out a sigh. “I’ve never.. I haven’t had-”

“You’re a virgin.” Harry stares into her eyes seriously. He didn’t want her first time to be with him after she just found out about his major crush on her. She nods her head and fervently tries to reply.

“‘M not trying to tempt you or use you! I just want you to be my first. I really like you and you know you’re hot!” Her cheeks flush as she tries to hide in his pillows. Harry straddles her, careful to not put all his weight on her.

“I’m hot so you want me to be your first so you can tell all the girls you slept with me.” Y/N couldn’t tell if he was disappointed in her. He was right but in a way he was also wrong. She wanted it to be him because he turned her on so well. She was attracted to him and she wanted to have this bond with him, that even if they never get together and they forget each other, he’ll always have some type of mark on her.

“Well, basically?” She shrugs her shoulders as his smile re appears. He bends down to kiss me as I take in his soft plump lips.

“Okay, but let me take you out first.” He murmurs against my lips as we continue to make out.

“Alright.”

[julie1706]

Julie’s incredibly aesthetic incredibly autumny list of movies that she maybe recommends (part 2)

Oh sweet joy! It turns out that there are many more great, fantastic, cosy movies (and tv-series!) just absolutely perfect for autumn. By popular demand, I return with even MORE autumny recommendations, and this time, there might even be spell-checking. (Looking at you, “Silence of the Lamps”) (I won’t edit that, because that’s just funny.) 

Thank you for reading the previous one, and I hope you’ll enjoy this one too! We have some GREAT ones coming up. I hope! Maybe! But what I believe will really perfect this second list, is the fact, that autumn is close to being at its peak right now, with it being October! Woohoo! 

Pumpkins, Jack’o’lanterns, spooky movies, Halloween, tricks and treats, fog, rain, candles lit in the dark, delicious tea, and scarves, because the chill is back in the air! Amazing! The aesthetics are to die for! 

I’m on a small break from university, and have actually been having some allowed free time, to do autumny stuff. By this I mean I can do autumny stuff with my family and friends, and not feel guilty, because this time I’m not procrastinating. Well, I’m a little behind on some books, but it’s not that bad. You’re allowed free time on breaks! They’re supposed to be mostly free time, anyone knows that. I refuse to be a good student on breaks! 

This free time means that I have actually had time to watch some of these movies and tv-shows myself, and so I can feel a little better about recommending most of them, since I’ve actually seen them. Hehe. Still. I do have other, boring stuff to do, like reading for uni, emptying the dishwasher, cooking, vacuuming, etc., so there will be some of these I’m including, I have not watched, and those will be, again, backed by the power of optimism. Yay! Anyway! You’ve read enough not-halloween recommendationing, and is getting bored - Let’s get to it! (Also, these are still in random order, and I will put warnings at the end, again <3)

Coraline

I remember watching Coraline when it came out in theaters, years ago. I also remember that we had a little closet-thing in the wall, small and closed-up, but still very similar to the one she goes into, in the movie. Needless to say, this was not a favorite for little Julie, who was absolutely scared shit-less by this movie. I remember button-eyes, decaying puppets, and a very scary mom. Now, I have not watched the full movie since, but from bits and pieces through the years, I can wholeheartedly recommend this one. It’s stop-motion, the details are incredible, and wow, this movie is great. If you, like me, are no longer 9 years old, watch it! It’s wonderful, and surprisingly, very feel-good in the family aspect. A great movie!

Official synopsis: 

An adventurous 11-year-old girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets.

//Warning: do not watch this, if you are around nine years old. It will absolutely traumatize you about small closets in old houses. If you are not nine years old, I think you’re good! Just the right amount of spookyness, I believe!

Sense and Sensibility

I watched this with a good friend in february, I think. So I’m not sure why I think this has to go on an autumny list, but I stand by it! Maybe it’s the beige and brown, beautiful clothing, the many shots of nature, and the relationships between these characters, that fits very well with the cold and chilling air, we find ourselves in, here in lovely October. I don’t know. Food for thought. But this is a great movie, and I really think you should try watching it under a blanket, with tea and a good friend. We didn’t know the story before we saw it, and it had us guessing! And there is a part my other friend Sif told me, always makes her dad cry, and I think that should be taken as a compliment to this movie! It’s great! Love, sisters, crisis and period drama (and great clothes), this movie has it all! (also - Emma Thompson!)

Official synopsis: 

Rich Mr. Dashwood dies, leaving his second wife and her three daughters poor by the rules of inheritance. The two eldest daughters are the title opposites.

//Warning: It might make you cry. But I promise, it will be a good experience, in the end. It’s not scary, though.

Over the Garden Wall (animated series)

Well, this one, I’ve been dreading to add to my list. Now, you must not misunderstand, it’s not because I don’t like it. It’s because this series is so great, so weird, so beautifully drawn and made, that I’m afraid I could write a whole blog post dedicated only to Otgw, and still not feel that I have done it justice. It's just so good. It’s like the someone just decided one day, to make a series, that absolutely, perfectly encompasses autumn and halloween, and then did just that. The storyline is good, the art is good, the soundtrack is good. God, the soundtrack. I’ve also made sure to listen to this show’s soundtrack, since we left summer behind, and it’s just so good. There’s a reason tumblr went wild, when this show was first released. But since this is an AUTUMNY list, let me focus on those aspects. Big dark woods, scary noises in the dark, red and golden leaves, fantastical beings - this show has it all, and trust me, it WILL get you in the mood for autumn. I almost started puking leaves and pumpkins when I watched this with my friends, that’s how pumped it got me. This show has a special place in my heart, and if you promise not to tell all the other movies and shows on the list, I’ll admit something: this might be a favorite of mine. Maybe THE autumny favorite. 

Official synopsis:

Two brothers find themselves lost in a mysterious land and try to find their way home.

Warning: May be a little spooky, but I have it on good authority from a friend that is a true scaredy-cat, with nerves of whipped cream, that’s it’s fine. She  could handle it, watches it every year, and she’s fine. Good levels of scary.  

Corpse Bride

Believe it or not, that same scaredy-cat of a friend, I just mentioned, actually instructed a musical, based on this story. Is she a horror-fan or not? I have no idea, but her show was so well-done, that it actually made me like this movie a bit better. I have seen it before, but she convinced me, by telling me the original story behind this movie, that it’s pretty great. And by association, this movie became pretty great, too. It’s been some years since I saw this, but it’s a pretty good halloween movie, I think. Dead people tormenting the living. Classic autumn stuff, I would say. And it’s pretty well-made, I think, stop-motion again! I like the aesthetic of a corpse bride, though you have to admit the actual thing is pretty sad. The premise is haunting and scary, but it’s more morose, melancholic and depressing, I think. Poor Emily. But a good movie! Sorry, maybe that wasn’t a very enticing description, but I promise, it will do you more good than bad, to watch it. And then go google the original story, the movie is based on! 

Official synopsis:

When a shy groom practices his wedding vows in the inadvertent presence of a deceased young woman, she rises from the grave assuming he has married her.

//Oops, nearly forgot a warning! Warning: some people are dead, and therefore rotting a bit. If you’re squeamish, don’t watch. If you love sad love stories, definitely watch!

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Yeah, I’m not sure why this has to go on my Autumny List either, sorry. It just has to. I know it takes place over an entire year, but in my head, it jut fits very well with the whole magic, supernatural, foggy halloween times we find ourselves in. I mean, look at the cover! Maybe it’s the iconic scene, right before the troll is discovered in the girls’ bathroom (sorry, spoiler), with the floating jack’o’lanterns, and tables almost crashing undet the weight of candy and cakes, that convinced my brain, that this is a halloween movie. I don’t know. Just trust me on this, and watch the first Harry Potter movie. It’s pretty good. 

Official synopsis: 

An orphaned boy enrolls in a school of wizardry, where he learns the truth about himself, his family and the terrible evil that haunts the magical world.

//Warning: Nah, you’re good ;-)

Little Women (Important: 2019 edition)

Alright girls, we’re hopping genres again! This is another period-drama (sort of), about sisters, and wow, I cried to this. I bawled, I sobbed, I choked on snot, and was a little inconsolable, when I watched it with friends, at the cinema. One of the best experiences this year, and one of the greatest movies I have watched in a long time. I love everything about this movie: the family-bonds, the clothing, the many nature-shots, the developments of characters, (almost) all the characters, and just, wow. No good way to end that sentence, because I want to just keep describing all the good parts of this movie, because it's everything. It’s amazing, and yes, i’m exaggerating, but I can’t help it. I forgot to eat my popcorn or drink my water, when we watched this, that’s how mesmerized I was by this movie. I love Jo, I think I can empathize a lot with her, and if I could talk to her, if she was real, I would thank her for telling her story. This movie is great, you should watch it, because it makes you feel so warm inside. 

Official synopsis:

Jo March reflects back and forth on her life, telling the beloved story of the March sisters - four young women, each determined to live life on her own terms.

//Warning: Might make you break down crying. But in a good way. Very cathartic, actually.

Alien

I watched this for the first time last year, when I decided I was going to watch the classic older horror movies, and not freak the fuck out. I mostly succeed. And this movie was a joy to watch. That’s maybe weird to say about an alien horror movie, but wow I just love Sigourney Weaver, and the aesthetics of this movie. The story is thrilling, and I really did not like most of the characters, I thought they were hysteric and annoying, but I still rooted for them. It’s a different kind of horror movie, that’s for sure! But when I watched it, I totally understood why it has become such a classic.

Official synopsis: 

After a space merchant vessel receives an unknown transmission as a distress call, one of the crew is attacked by a mysterious life form and they soon realize that its life cycle has merely begun.

//Warning: Uh, yeah, Sif, this is not one for you. It’s gross and scary. Malin, I think you’ll like this one! Go ahead! Maybe we should see it together?

Edward Scissorhands

Haven’t seen this one! I want to, though. I think I’ve seen one scene, where this man accidentally pokes a water-bed, and younger me felt that was a very tragic thing, on more levels. Johnny Depp yet again, so it has to be good, right? I know this poor guy, Edward, has it rough, and was given some really not that practical hands. Man, he looks sad, huh? So maybe more sad than scary, yet again. Dont know! But I really do want to watch it. Winona Ryder is in this, too, so really, it’s a no-brainer!

Official synopsis:

An artificial man, who was incompletely constructed and has scissors for hands, leads a solitary life. Then one day, a suburban lady meets him and introduces him to her world.

//Warning: I don’t know? Maybe not that spooky? I think it’s more sad, to be honest.

Pride + Prejudice + Zombies

I mean, why the hell not - right? I love Jane Austen. I love Pride and Prejudice. And I really like halloween, so OF COURSE, I’m including this one. I’ve seen it, too. My friend Malin and I watched it a couple of years ago, and yeah, it’s good. It’s not high cinema, no, but I don’t need that. It was a fun, weird twist, and sometimes, that’s all you need. There is a very interesting scene with a corset, that was NOT in the book, and I think it really added something to this story. And Lily James. Whew. Great movie. Great for autumn. I will be watching this one again.

Official synopsis:

Five sisters in 19th century England must cope with the pressures to marry while protecting themselves from a growing population of zombies.

//Warning: I can’t really remember, but I think there’s some pretty gross scenes with zombies. Rotting flesh is NOT pretty. But just close your eyes for that, and  you’ll be good!

The Haunting of Hill House

I first watched this series when i came out some time ago. I never finished it, I don’t think my heart was in it, but by no fault of the show. Now, that the same creator has made another show, which my mom and I are hooked by, and almost through, I think I’ll be returning to this one - it deserves another chance! A great old house, ghosts, family secrets and INCREDIBLE aesthetics, mean there must be something here! Also, I think it’s based on a novel by Shirley Jackson, and it’s supposed to a classic horror novel, and Stephen King tweeted that he liked it, so yeah, it’s promising! The series I’m watching with my mom is spooky, but tumblr says the Haunting of Hill House is supposed to be much more spooky, terrifying, even, and I really want to find out if that’s true!

Official synopsis:

Flashing between past and present, a fractured family confronts haunting memories of their old home and the terrifying events that drove them from it.

//Warning: Very Scary! Faint of heart - Beware! Just enjoy this beautiful gif of Nell dancing by herself, and move on <3

Psycho

Another old classic! Woo! Have not watched, but really, I feel like that’s almost a crime by now. I HAVE to watch it. Soon, I’m planning to. Sadly, It’s old, and I grew up with the internet, so I’ve been spoiled oh so dreadfully, and knows all the bloody details and plottwists of this oldie but goldie. But I still want to watch it! It must be a classic for a reason - right? Also, I’ve never seen the full version of the famous shower scene, and that’s just embarrassing. Shame on me.

Official synopsis:

A Phoenix secretary embezzles $40,000 from her employer's client, goes on the run, and checks into a remote motel run by a young man under the domination of his mother.

//Warning: It’s a horror classic! It’s gotta be scary. Then again, it DID come out in 1960. Be careful about this one! Sorry, I have no idea, have never watched it.

Hannibal (the TV series)

It’s gross, it’s scary, it’s aesthetic, there is a danish elegant man eating people in snowy Baltimore, and you really shouldn’t pay him to be your psychiatrist. Hannibal! I first watched this as a young, edgy teenager, and all the blood and gore didn't get to me at all - I just enjoyed the cat-and-mouse game between Will Graham, our main character, very mentally unstable, and a dog-lover, and Dr. Hannibal Lecter, a renowned psychiatrist, elegant, high-society - and also, he talks like a mixture of the bible and an old greek sonet. What I'm trying to get at is that this show is weird. Good weird. But also, now no longer an edgy teenager myself, it’s really gross. A man’s leg is cut off and served to himself. That’s gross. I didn’t like that, and I definitely covered my eyes. Other than that, it’s a very vivid show, with great focus on presentation and symbolism. I would love for someone to analyse each episode, because there's so much attention to detail. It’s honestly impressive. And after having watched many, many shows about crime and murders, I must say, this show has THE most buckwild, creative, never seen before ways of killing people. How the hell do you come up with a murderer using people’s different skin colors to make a mural? I don’t know. It’s disgusting, but man is it different. I’m halfway through season two, and there is a lot to unpack! Also, have to mention, very homoerotic - that’s a plus. Don’t think I could’ve stomached all the blood, otherwise. I hate blood, and wow is there blood in this show.

Official synopsis:

Explores the early relationship between renowned psychiatrist, Hannibal Lecter, and his patient, a young FBI criminal profiler, who is haunted by his ability to empathize with serial killers.

//Warning: Yeah. You read how many times I wrote ‘gross’. Just trust me on this one, it’s gross. It’s good, but maybe don’t watch it. You don’t need to introduce your brain to this.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

Ooh boy. Ooooh boy. This series is very good. VERY good. I’m watching it with my mom right now, I think we’re at episode 7, and wow are we hooked. It’s spooky, it’s haunting, it’s thrilling, it’s mysterious, and wow is it scary. We both agreed to go together, the first night we watched this, and our dog had to be taken out on his night-walk. She didn’t want to go alone, and i didn’t want to stay back at the house, alone. So we went together, and I was so freaked out that I nearly peed my pants, when some kids screamed in our neighborhood. It’s so very much what I want a ghost-story to be, but it’s also a lot more, and much greater for it. I love all the characters, they’re all so well-rounded, and most of them are good. The big manor is spooky, and the woods surrounding it are foggy and dark, and yes, this is really a great series for autumn and halloween. It’s the second series made by Mike Flanagan. There are some similarities between the two shows, and surprisingly, some of the same actors! I think that’s very interesting, and it also made me very confused, as I watched the first episodes of the Haunting of Bly Manor, and could not, for the life of me, figure out where the hell I had seen these people before. It made it even more eerie in a way, and I appreciate that. I love this show, and I think I’ll be very sad when we’re through with it. I guess the natural thing to do, will be to follow up with Flanagan’s previous horror series, The Haunting of Hill House! Also, there’s lesbians in this one. Very nice. I appreciate that. Also, surprisingly - I love the children! They’re so cool and brave, and it would be very nice if especially Flora could go with me, the next time I’m going to a haunted house. Such a badass.

Official synopsis:

After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose.

Warning: It’s spooky. It’s the perfect halloween series, so of course it’s very spooky! This gif I chose is spooky, and I promise the show itself is worse. But if you can handle dead people creepily staring in the background, and maybe has someone to watch it with, I think you’ll be fine!

Alright! We made it! Another spooky, aesthetic, autumny list, for us to enjoy this crispy season! Woohoo! Also, I’m sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes or whatelse, I hope you enjoyed reading anyway! Thank you! Now go drink some tea and relax, you’ve earned it. I recently tried chili-tea, and damn, that’s another recommendation from me! It was amazing!

Hope you have a great Halloween, it’s close now. Watch out for the cold weather, remember to bundle up, and don’t let the impending darkness get you down. Light some candles! And also, watch some of these spooky tv-series and movies with your family and friends! And have a great fall! <3

Love, Julie

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

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Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old  friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

 It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.   

 My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough. 

  “oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.” 

 A flying toenail hit my eye. 

 “WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.  

 “Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

 “oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!” 

 “IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back. 

 I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

 I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle. 

 “All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

 “You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.” 

 “Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.” 

 I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.” 

 “Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?” 

 This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did. 

 After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. 

 And he didn’t. 

 And therein lay the problem. 

 It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

 “Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.” 

 “Ew, he smells like meat.” 

 “RENNY!!” 

 “I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

 “He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.” 

 She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window. 

 “Hey Renny?” 

 “Hm.” 

 A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?” 

 “Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

 “Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.” 

 “Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.   

 “Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?” 

 Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first. 

 “I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

 “The divorce or your virginity.” 

 “Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.” 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis. 

 “I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more. 

 Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?” 

 Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him. 

 “Maybeeee…?” 

 But then there was last night. 

 I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves? 

 “No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.” 

 Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.” 

 “Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this. 

 Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly. 

 But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him? 

 You were right, Harry. You are fucked. 

 I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh. 

 I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

 Renny was right.

 I needed therapy. 

 The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

 “Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?” 

 DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please. 

 I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

 “NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

 “Fine. I can keep a secret.” 

 I was getting a little too good at that lately.

 She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious. 

 “Yeah, more than you know.” 

 And I was serious, too. 

 --------------------------------------

 I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs. 

 Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery.  . 

 “Woah did you hear that?” 

 Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.” 

 It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

 The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next. 

 A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did. 

 “It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts. 

 “How’d you know that?” 

 She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance. 

 I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick. 

 Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away. 

 My hand wavered. 

 Odd. 

 Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors. 

 I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over. 

 “Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”   

 Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

 Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

 She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster. 

 “I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

 Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

 I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.” 

 Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too. 

 “Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed. 

 We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from. 

 “Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment. 

 My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?” 

 “Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-” 

 “My God,” David proclaimed. 

 Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven’t called to replace him yet.”

 It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.” 

 “Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass. 

 Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

 “Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased. 

 He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.” 

 We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

 Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left. 

 “Look closer.” 

 My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang. 

 “Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin. 

 The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot. 

 “Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

 “Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.” 

 “How so?” 

 “Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.” 

 He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside. 

 He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles. 

 “They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said. 

 A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.” 

 “Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.” 

 “Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

 His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him. 

 I felt him come closer. 

“Listen now,” he urged. 

 I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder. 

 “Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.” 

 I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed. 

 “Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?” 

 I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous. 

 “What do you hear?” he urged. 

 “I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped. 

But right when I was about to open my eyes-  

 I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter. 

 “Birds?” I opened my eyes. 

 “Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself. 

 “Why are there birds?” 

 “We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

 Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half. 

 My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.” 

 “All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes. 

 “Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.” 

 “What do you mean?” 

 She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow. 

 I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second. 

 I was naked. 

 In all of them. 

 One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.  

 Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet. 

 The wine had dropped.

 I’d dropped it. 

 I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb. 

 “Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked. 

 I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe. 

 He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

 The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees. 

 Because that’s what it was. 

 An exposure. 

 A stranger could pay to have me in their home. 

 The floor spun, vision spotting. 

 My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly. 

 “I didn’t want this.” 

 And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home. 

part 22

[ao3feed-larry]

there ain’t nothin’ common ‘bout us

by angelica_barnes

In the end, their love story is the simplest one there is. Despite how messy and complicated the plot may be, drama and heartbreak hidden around every corner, their story is simple. It was when it began, and it remains so.

Their story, quite simply, goes like this: five boys meet.

They fall in love.

  or,

  The world ends, and suddenly Harry, Niall, Zayn, Liam, and Louis are alone in a haunted house in the middle of nowhere.

Words: 13631, Chapters: 1/5, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of there ain’t nothin’ common ‘bout us

Fandoms: One Direction (Band)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Taylor Swift, Eleanor Calder, Ed Sheeran, Perrie Edwards, Gigi Hadid, Danielle Peazer, Sophia Smith, Simon Cowell, and an elephant

Relationships: Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (past), Zayn Malik/Liam Payne (past), Niall Horan/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (brief), Niall Horan/Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Niall Horan/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles & Taylor Swift, One Direction (Ensemble) & Taylor Swift, Zayn Malik & Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran/Taylor Swift, Eleanor Calder & Louis Tomlinson, Taylor Swift & Louis Tomlinson, Perrie Edwards & Gigi Hadid & Zayn Malik, Liam Payne & Danielle Peazer & Sophia Smith, Niall Horan & Ed Sheeran, Ed Sheeran & Harry Styles

Additional Tags: they're all asexual (sex-neutral/positive), why because i'm ace and starved for representation that's why, also because it fit the narrative but that's not important, see this is what happens when, i read Pride & Prejudice, listen to Taylor Swift’s “folklore”, and watch 1D crack videos all in one day, also "Canada" by Lauv & Alessia Cara and "Common" by ZAYN can be blamed for this, their sanity is questionable in this, ATTENTION EVERYBODY:, if you’re ever sad, just imagine Louis singing "The Principal" by Melanie Martinez to Simon Cowell onstage, or Zayn singing "I Don't Need Your Love" from SIX to the boys and Simon Cowell, WARNING: i have no idea how record players work so just work with me here okay, think the house from "Knives Out" but taller and more chaotic, I DO NOT CONDONE THIS IDIOTIC BEHAVIOR BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE A MENTAL OR PHYSICAL DISORDER SEEK HELP FROM MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, DESPITE WHAT BAD Y/A FILMS WANT YOU TO THINK LOVE DOES NOT CURE ALL, BE SAFE AND HEALTHY KIDS, take care of yourselves, this was supposed to be a 20k quick write, to get out all my feelings during my one direction relapse, and instead it turned into this, there’s a strong possibility i may’ve accidentally made Louis schizophrenic, no you don’t understand, i just wanted an excuse to write the boys wearing soft grey sweaters that are too big for them, watch as i overload you with symbolism and details (PAY ATTENTION), this is gay, i edit my own shit and die like a genderfluid legend, somebody please read this, i poured my entire life into this story for six months and if nobody reads it i WILL cry, some of the relationships in this are pretty unhealthy for awhile, But they get better, because communication is important and actually happens, what a shock, I know, i am going to put you through hell with this story, SO, ya know, apologies in advance, Implied/Referenced Acephobia, Internalized Acephobia, this was supposed to be funny, It is not, that, Louis eats messily because I said so, he stuffs his pancakes in his mouth until he’s got chipmunk cheeks, crying crying crying, and then some more crying, oh my lin there’s so much crying, Unconventional Relationship, Complicated Relationships, you have no fucking idea how proud of this i am, i mean i'm a little ashamed, because this is the first book i've ever written, and it's about one fucking direction, but whatever ya know love is love, alternatively titled: i relapsed hard into my one direction obsession, except i have since evolved as a writer, because i started writing these when i was twelve and they were 5k max, and now i’m sixteen and i have this shit on my hands, I’m sorry, i apologize for all of this, my bad - Freeform, this is apparently the kind of fucking shit i write now, I am so sorry, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, it's just 2020, Angst with a (Realistic) Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, i swear to you this was supposed to be a funny story, i don’t know what happened, why do all of my characters always end up being certifiably insane, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Getting Back Together, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Introspection, Reflection, Fluff and Angst, Domestic, Families of Choice, Unconventional Families, Magic, Magical Realism, yeah i really just came for everyone’s souls here, forgive me for stealing your livelihood, i didn’t mean to destroy you, also my bad if i gave any of you existential crises, it was mostly an accident, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Post-Zayn One Direction, Zayn Malik Leaves One Direction, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Suicide, Bulimia, Anorexia, Schizophrenia, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Panic Attacks, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Overdosing, i promise there's actually fluff in here, there's a lot of fluff in here, it's just always just a little bit sad, fuck this has so many tags, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author Regrets Everything, Regret, Guilt, Abuse, Unhealthy Relationships, Fame, okay i'll stop now i'm sorry bye, please please please somebody enjoy this, or at least parts of it, also there's a lot of soulmates and ghosts, a fuckton of introspection that i should probably apologize for, but am really not all that sorry about, okay i'm really done now promise

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/3nbKyj5

[austenpoppy]

A review of "The Wonderful Won-Won" chapter 4 (part 1 because I'm a fangirl)

@hillnerd I said I would do it after my exams to take the time to say all I wanted to say and so do justice to your work, so here I am ! I always keep my promises. But Tumblr would not let me reblog this particular chapter, that's why I had to do a separate post.

Edit : I have seen your post about your father. I send you my best regards and all the hugs. I know it is hard. Love you. I know it's not much but I hope it will cheer you up a bit.

So if you want to find the chapter I'm talking about, go see Hillnerd's blog or follow this link : https://m.fanfiction.net/u/666390/

I recommend you all the other fics written by Hillnerd, they're fantastic.

So... yeah, my reaction to your chapter when I read it for the first time...

OH MY GOD ! OH MY GOD ! OH MY GOD ! Oh mon Dieu !

I'm smiling, a huge grin on my face even if nobody can see it because I'm alone, in my student room, at 2am and I'm too lazy to revise. I'm squealing on my bed, my face is tear-strained because I cried, and I feel very emotional. I swear, my heart swelled at least twice its size !

This is definitely one of my favorite chapters in fanfiction ever.

Let's go back in time to see what happened :

"The brain's tentacles were ripping him to shreds and reality was warping around him as an unsteady pulse echoed in his ears. Spiders the size of houses walked over him while their young devoured his limbs, leaving him unable to move. Powerful convulsions constricted his chest and air bellowed over his shredded lungs. All he could feel was pain, a tangible darkness, and the sensation of being drowned, but backwards?"

It feels so realistic. You got all the sensations of being in great pain yet being unable to move. I especially love "the unsteady beat in his ears". The spider anecdote makes me shudder. How awful !

"The only real thing he could think about, besides the pain, was her. What was her name again?"

Oh man, Hermione is on his mind and in his heart at all time, even in his darkest hour. She's the only thing that can take his mind off pain *eyes water*

The convulsions struck again and again. He longed to be able to lose himself in the darkness, but something kept tethering him to the unimaginable pain. He was drowning again, and his limbs were back, stiff as lead.

No no no my Ronnie is suffering so much he wants to black out, and what if the darkness meant death ? How come this is totally canon ? How come I enjoy this ?

If he could only say her name one time, maybe all of this would end? It almost seemed like an answer to a riddle. He just couldn't think what the riddle was or what the name was he should say. It was like trying to hold a fist full of sand, with each grain slipping through his fingers until he only had a few grains left.

Argh, my little Romione heart. Touché. He tries to hold on to her, the key to happiness, the light in the dark, the fire of comfort.

"How long was he—"

It's nothing really. A tiny sentence. But the fact that the person who said it was unable to finish it is just so perfect, so moving - as if the idea of Ron suffering was unthinkable. *eyes water again*

Why could he not control his body?

Oh god, I know this frustration. Your writing is so moving, you are able to convey so much feelings in the simplest sentences.

Ron did as he was told, even though the light was so bright he could feel it throbbing in time with his heartbeat. A loud ringing tone pulsed in his ears, high and sharp.

I can feel exactly what he is speaking about.

"Can I… Can I touch him?" his Mum ask Pomfrey, sounding teary.

Aaaaaaaah you got me again. The hesitation in her voice when she probably wants nothing more, when she probably craves to touch him... That's it, my vision is blurry, I need to take a tissue (fortunately there's a box on my bedside table)

Ron tried to form a word, any word, to say to his mother, but as soon as he could so much as rasp a coughing fit took him. It rattled and tore through him unlike any cough he'd ever had before. Dark red blood exploded from his lungs and splattered the matron's apron. His lungs rattled as cough after cough shook his chest and tore through his throat.

I just felt a pain in my heart. A pang. It's so heartwrenching to see him suffer like this.

Ron had to concentrate, but was able to barely wiggle them and they felt whole enough.

Oh Ron, how can you make me laugh in a moment like this ?

He tried to wipe the back of his arm across his mouth, but his arm just wouldn't move off the bed, lamely twitching at his side. A slimy trail of sputum and blood oozed out of his mouth, but Pomfrey wiped it away with a handkerchief.

All is in the details. I'm picturing Ron, unable to move, his eyes open and unfocus, a trail of blood flowing from his mouth that he can't even wipe and MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT.

"We love you, sweet boy. We love you so much,"

Yes ! Give him love ! All the love ! I love you too Ron !

Ron began to panic as he tried again and again to make words. He couldn't. Tears came to his eyes and he started to breathe hard.

Nooo he can't speak my poor little Ronnie he must be so afraid and nooo he has tears in his eyes, my heart felt another pang why are you so good at this ?! That's it, I need a pause because I am actually crying. I am sniffing in my bed, tears have rolled off my cheeks and dampered the mattress. Damn you !

Ron tried desperately to say yes, but all that came out what a strange sound similar to the ghoul that lived in his attic. He tried to nod his head but it wouldn't do what he said and just barely moved to the wrong direction. What was wrong with him? He was trapped. Trapped in his own body unable to say or do anything!

I just want to hug you so much Ron. I can't but I really, really want to. That's one of the worst things in the world, being conscious but not being able to do anything.

"You are alright. What you are experiencing is temporary. You will be able to speak later. Maybe in a few hours. This is not permanent. The part of your brain that forms speech is injured, but will be healed - probably by the time you wake up tomorrow. You will regain movement in your body as well, but that might take longer before it's completely healed. Do you understand, Ron?"

You are such a good healer Mrs Pomfrey. And you need a raise.

"The bleeding will continue on and off again the next few days."

How come people think that the Bezoar erased every consequence possible of the poison ? Ron did not spend so much time in the infirmary for nothing !

"Hermione was here?" Ron asked, trying to sit up as quickly as he could. Instead his head rose off the pillow a few centimeters and he weakly collapsed back onto the bed. He gave another attempt to sit up, but the Matron of the hospital wing made it impossible to succeed.

He seems so surprised it is awful but so sweet. The fact that he tried to sit up twice pulled at my heartstrings.

"Did Hermione seem upset?" Ron blurted before realizing it was Pomfrey he was asking.

God the sweetheart somebody helps me !

Your heart stopped, and you weren't breathing for a few minutes, so it might take a bit for your memory to be back to normal.

HIS HEART STOPPED ! HE WAS NOT BREATHING ! OH MY FUCKING ALLMIGHTY GOD !

What happened? Why am I in the hospital? Who visited? Who poisoned me? Will I be ok? Was Hermione here? Where are everyone? Was Hermione upset? Is everyone else ok? Where's Harry? When can I leave? Will I be able to play quidditch? What potions do I have to take? Where is Hermione? Should there be all this blood? Are you sure this is normal? When will I be able to walk again? How am I going to the bathroom? Did anyone but my parents see me when I couldn't talk? When will I be able to sit up on my own? Why can't I use my hands? Do I still have to do my homework? Can't I drink more water than that? When can I eat? Can Hermione visit me again?

Oh. My. God. My heart swelled. I am once again crying thank you very much my bed is now full of dirty tissues. But like, this list is one of the sweetest and most heartbreaking things ever. I need to squeal. So I put my phone aside and do just that (which means rolling in my bed, laughing and probably looking like a maniac). "Did anyone but my parents see me when I couldn't talk ?". How perfectly insecuringly Ron that is (yes I invent words and no I don't care) ? "Is everybody else okay ?" . Man you just got poisoned, you are in unberable pain and you still ask for everybody else ? You're just so... so caring and I love you ! "Can Hermione visit me again ?" God the sweetest of sweethearts 2.

He coughed and felt some blood beginning to make its way down his throat. 

Somebody do something ! My little Ronnie ! Bad, bad Draco !

How could one person look so perfect and make him feel magically better?

He's so in loooove. That's why I love Romione : the raw love and painful need for each other.

 Well, better besides the feeling that he was choking on blood and couldn't fight off a possessed scrambled egg if he had to.

How dare you make me laugh again ? A possessed scrambled egg *snorts loudly*... I'm laughing through my watery eyes...

...he couldn't help but smile.

That's my sweetest of sweethearts Ron 3. He is in pain yet he smiles because the person he loves most is there and he's my little sun.

Last thing he wanted was the sight of bloody teeth sending Hermione away.

*snorts again* *then feels her heart pang again because it's an horribly sad piece of humor*

Ron could vaguely recall reading something about a poisoning, so nodded, hoping that would leave him alone with Hermione.

*shakes her head and smiles* That's so Ron. He just wants to be with the people he cares about.

"You're really here," Ron smiled hopefully. He thought he'd never have Hermione to himself again. She was biting her lip with worry, but she was there. She was beautiful, though a bit paler than usual. Was she in the hospital wing because she was injured? "How are you feeling?"

FOR F*CKS'S SAKE ! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME ! SH*T ! I NEED ANOTHER TISSUE ! AND I AM NOT HALFWAY THROUGH THE CHAPTER ! P*tain de b*rdel de m*rde ! It is so incredibly perfect and moving and Romione-y. The fact that Ron does not believe his eyes that she cares for him, that he smiles hopefully, that he thinks he would never be with her again, the fact that Hermione is biting her lip but does not say anything, and the selflessness of Ron who as usual does not think about himself at all but worries about his loved ones even though he just got poisoned...

"Better, now that you're awake."

My Romione heart swelled again.

Her hand gently made its way into his, sending a thrill through him like the first time he'd ever ridden a broom. He tried to squeeze it hard back, partly to ground himself that this was real, and partly to let her know something of how happy he was to see her, but all he could manage was a limp clammy hold. She didn't say anything to him, simply putting another hand on top of his one weak one.

I am at a loss for words. I am just so emotional. This image of them together is exactly why I love Romione so much. It is very poignant and moving.

"So… I kind of lied. I don't entirely remember what's been going on… I just wanted to see you," Ron said quietly.

At this point I just want to cherish this chapter forever and I definitely need another box of tissues, so I stand up and go search it. It's the "quietly" that actually killed me : picturing Ron, searching Hermione's eyes, whispering this to her is so sweet.

"Oh shit! Please don't leave. I'm so glad you're here. It's fine… I can catch up on this crap later."

He is so emotionally open I just... Hermione, cherish this boy.

He honestly didn't care if he sounded pathetic or desperate. She was the one thing he could hold on to when time was bending, and he wasn't sure of what was real and not.

My Romione heart does not thank you for the emotional roller-coster.

"I'm not going anywhere,"

Aaaah Hermione you pulled at my heartstrings. No, not you too ! I have enough heart pangs with Ron thanks !

"Sorry I'm so stupid right now. I just can't seem to keep a hold of things in my mind for long."

There self-depreciating Ron goes again... Like, am I hallucinating, or is he actually apologizing for not being well after having been poisoned ?? #Rontheboywhoapologizesforeverything

"You're far from stupid," Hermione said with her trademark scowl, and he grinned at that. "You were nearly killed. You had anoxia, where your brain didn't get enough oxygen. It's literal brain damage."

Yes, Hermione ! Tell him he's great ! Prevent him from being self-depreciating ! I love it so much when people let their appreciation of him shine through ! And she's so cute when she gets so anxious and worried that she has to ramble about facts, explain things and expose her knowledge !

He almost laughed at being brain damaged, but tears began to pool in her eyes.

Again so perfectly Romione-y. Ron sees the funny side of things, or the sadly funny side of things when he gets self-depreciating, and Hermione cries because she saw all the implications.

If it weren't for magic you might not be able to remember anything ever again, or talk, or move, and could have been mentally infirm the rest of your life. It wouldn't have been temporary. You'd not be yourself and I just — I just can't stand the thought that-that someone as alive and as - as wonderful as you could ever be struck down and unable to be yourself and I was so so afraid I was going to lose you and the last things I ever said to you were-were horrible, and I just —"

Oh my Romione. And my eyes are watering again. She's so devastated at the idea of a tetraplegic or diminished Ron, and I am too, that's the wrongest thing ever in fanfiction; and she's using the world "alive" to describe Ron and that fits him so well, and she feels so guilty that's awful even if it pleases me a little (I hate it so much when in fanfiction Hermione "accepts" to forgive Ron for Lavender. 😒)

"Oh, Hermione, don't—" he said while weakly raising his arms as high as he could so she'd come into them. 

My HEART ! YOU STABBED ME ! I NEED A F*CKING TISSUE AGAIN HE'S SO CARING AND SWEET !

~ Squealing time interruption ~

Hermione needed facts and figures to comfort her. "Hey, according to this parchment, I'm going to be ok, right?"

He knows exactly what to say to makes her feel better and that's instinctive. That's my Ron and I love him.

She gave a great wet sniff and nodded, though she looked even paler than before.

They're so terribly cute together. Hug her Ron, my girl needs it badly !

He'd have to humiliate himself a bit to get her to laugh, but it would be worth it.

So you are once again going to be very self-sacrificing, okay Ron, but what are you talking about ? How could you...

"And apparently there are some spells in place, so we don't have to worry I'll wet myself in the bed, even though I'm so mentally infirm," he said with a conspiratorial grin.

*jaw drops, eyes water (my fucking god I really am a mess and I look like I just had a heartbreak but okay), heart swells with enough Ron-love to fill a swimming pool*

~ squealing time interruption ~

Okay, I'm extremely moved and that's for a very personal reason. I have had 16 general anaesthesias in my life, yet I have always refused, even when I was seven, to use bedpans to... you know, because I am so proud; I hate admitting weakness and that felt so degrading, even if it's totally normal; so for Ron to humiliate himself like that just to make Hermione laugh is quite extraordinary and extremely selfless. I would never have done that.

End of part 1

[theparaminds]

Aimless. Drifting. Wandering. All words that summarize the fleeting moments before adulthood. For James Ivy, these words summarized the state he used to exist within. Yet now, he finds himself engulfed by the musical clarity he has continuously sought for. Finally, he is free from personal shackles and able to become an artistic individual of the most vulnerable and honest degree.

He admits himself that much of his music is aimed at conjuring up past nostalgia. But this is not simply so one can become reminiscent, no, it is also so that one becomes reflective. In the same way he’s had to trace his life and express the difficulties within his growth, he asks all to do the same. To find the voice tucked away behind walls of self-doubt. Of course, this is also in the pursuit of creating new memories, ones which are even greater than the past.

James Ivy isn’t just making music, he’s truly building a sonic landscape of understanding and expression. One that’s a warm hug on a cold day and a calming reassurance that all will be ok. It’s an environment where no mask is to be worn and where all can bare the depths of their souls without fear. It’s a freedom that all desire, and that all deserve. And if you were to currently summarize James and that landscape, you would simply say; hopeful, passionate and visionary.

This interview was recorded live in New York.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how have you been?

Good man, the day’s going good. I had class this morning and it's the last week of school before spring break. I’ve been just laying low a bit and, ya know, just living day by day.

To begin, one of my favorite things about you is your thigh tattoo of Bloo from Foster’s Home. When did you decide you were going to get that and what is the significance of Bloo to you?

I was always a big Cartoon Network stan. Disney channel not really, maybe some Nickelodeon, but Cartoon Network I always watched non-stop as a kid. I used to watch Foster’s Home a lot with my dad. I guess I don’t really care too much about the meanings of my tattoos, I have a house on my arm and it's just like a house, not really much more, just a cool house. The Bloo thing was sorta a spur of the moment where I was visiting friends in Austin, Texas and my friend Luke had just gotten the three line super S from when you're a kid on his arm, as kind of like a joke. And I was like, fuck, maybe I should get one. They egged me on and I just jumped to Bloo from Fosters’. They made it way bigger than I thought they were going to, and it was a super thick line too and hurt like hell. I mean, I guess what I told my parents was that in the show Bloo was the one imaginary friend that was never gonna be adopted because the kid who made him up, never stopped believing in him. So it’s a little corny but it is a cute sentiment about never losing your child side and your imagination.

While growing, what else was it around you and coming throughout your life that was impacting your personal, but more so artistic, development?

I guess I started piano lessons when I was 6 with my mom, and my dad was helping me get into sports at the same time. I learned for 6 years on and off and I was better when I was younger, having lost some the skill. But it gave me a basic understanding of music theory. I listened to a lot of music growing up. Some of it was trash because I didn't have an older sibling to show me the way. My dad showed me bands like Genesis, Yes and Rush. Bands like that. My mom showed me New Order and a lot of new wave dance music. So it was a weird mix of shit, but I ultimately started getting into hip hop and a lot of post-hardcore music. I think that has been the most shaping music to me as an artist which is kinda crazy because  I almost resent it in a weird way. I wish I had been brought up listening to the classics because I had to find all that on my own. I started producing when I was around 13 or 14 years old.  My older cousin showed me a Skrillex song at a wedding in Florida for one of our relatives,  and I just remember being like “holy shit this is nuts.”. I didn’t have an in-depth understanding of electronic music at the time, but when you’re young and impressionable, anything that’s new or different sort of entices you. I got into producing electronic music and had some fun with it, but as I got older it wasn’t really creatively fulfilling. It's been a weird journey for sure and I still feel I’m learning and catching up in some regards.

But how would you reflect upon the past year specifically and the challenges and growth you’ve gone through currently compared to those of a younger you?

I really feel that since coming here to New York I’ve had some of the best experiences of my life. I met some of my best friends in my life. I feel like through the people I’ve been around, I’ve become directly inspired by them. Being in an environment where you have friends who are into music the same way you are, not just over the internet, it's amazing because you grow together and it has become exponential the way we have been growing as artists. I even look at the stuff I was doing with Harry freshman year and I thought it was the best shit ever, and now we realize how far we actually have come. It's exciting.

In your honest opinion, what is the greatest album ever created or at least one you have been constantly coming back to?

Phewwww. Putting me on the spot. It changes all the time, and I definitely can't speak for the best ever created from an objective view. There’s this Dance Gavin Dance record that I’ve been listening to since I was a kid, so I guess I have nostalgia glasses on for it. It’s called Downtown Battle Mountain 2.  If I were to name one album that I’ve heard since coming to college that has been my favorite, it would be Heaven or Las Vegas by the Cocteau Twins. I can’t believe I was sleeping on that album for so long.. A lot of the writing on that record still blows my mind when I listen to it.

Going into these next months, where are you trying to steer your creative vision towards and what are you trying to say with some of the new work you're putting out?

A lot of my writing recently has been a real process for sure. I'm still learning every day and trying to improve. For a while, I was testing myself to write lyrics that are simple on paper but that can be impactful in context of the instrumental surrounding it. Some of my favorite artists, like American Pleasure Club and Dijon, have lyrics that aren't overly complicated but hit home for some reason. I think that's what I was shooting for. But more recently, I’ve been trying more to construct lyrics that mean a lot to me, because for a while I got into a bad habit of detaching from the music a little bit and creating stuff that was for other people, so to speak. A lot of the new stuff is based on memories for me. I want songs to sonically sound like memories that I have. There are certain songs for me that are places and events and time frames in my life, and capturing that nostalgia and bringing it into a form that’s tangible is what I’m trying to accomplish.

What was then some of your personal best memories growing up and why do they mean so much to your life?

The summer of 8th grade. Being on my bike and being a kid freely every single day. I grew up in a suburban town in New Jersey so there’s not much to do besides biking around going to the school to play basketball and swim in people’s pools. That was so fun.  The bliss you can experience during that period of childhood innocence is hard to emulate that at any other point in our lives. Summer before college is another really great memory in my head. It’s sorta like how you feel in middle school, but you’re way older, and it’s a lot different. It’s more coming of age shit that’s happening then.

Then would you say you create for yourself as a personal reflection and therapy and just see the way others take it as an afterthought?

I think it varies song to song. I think my stance on it is from this quote that said that there comes a time after you put out your music that it no longer is only yours. I think that's the best way to put it. There are songs that I can’t listen to anymore that I made, but seeing other people resonate with them means a lot, even if I can’t relate to that song anymore. But seeing other people enjoying it is the best feeling. For a while, I couldn’t even comprehend that people were enjoying my music, so when you really see that in action it’s like a dumbfounding feeling. There’s a youtube video of ‘Boxcutter’ and everyone's just telling their life stories in the comments and seeing that is such a trip. I feel like a lot of songs I write quick are therapy songs, like Sick 1999. I find with those I write a sort of stream of consciousness. I wrote Sick after a super raw and emotional moment in my life. I just sat 30 minutes later and wrote it and released it later that night. That's therapy because you're not sick of it yet by killing yourself going through the mixing processes and editing process and scrutinizing every detail. You just did it and you have to sit with it. It's cathartic. If it can help people also that's amazing.

As well, what are some of the goals and overall plans you hope to see through with your new work?

I’m stoked for this year. I’m finishing songs right now that have been in the works since last summer. Some of them have been as recent as last week. I’m just stoked to finish everything and I’ll just be able to release it. I don't want to set anything in stone but there will be music on the way. I also want to start creating more music videos, working on my live show more and really stepping back into the radar again after taking some time to figure out my sound. And then just roll from there.

Do you hope in the rest of your life to touch on other forms of art and into new avenues of music that you may not have thought of currently?

With music, I’d definitely love to try every part of the process. For example, for a while I didn't like my voice and tried to have someone else do it, but I couldn’t imagine that and had to push through the fear. I like having my hands in the creative process so I feel like I want to do everything. Whether that’s directing music videos for my songs that I have concepts for or even just cinematography and editing would be so exciting. I would love to take my music into scoring and films as a long term dream. I just want to be able to create and feel inspired by the world every morning. That's the ultimate goal.

If you could have any one individual, living or dead, come back and critique your music, who would you choose and why them?

Man. I feel like right away my mind goes to Rick Rubin. I just feel like it’s like, “That's the guy who listens to things and tells you what exactly to do!” I’m not sure if it's him definitively, though. I would love to hear what Justin Vernon would have to say or even like Kevin Parker to be honest.

You mentioned for a minute the opportunity of doing live shows. When you do explore that avenue more, how do you hope to make it personal to you and make it a worthwhile experience?

I just want people to have a good time and for them to jam out and dance their asses off. So, I’m trying to make music that’s danceable. I want to recreate the song as best to my ability while also incorporating live instruments. I really want to move forward with having a live band for the upcoming shows, while also incorporating some of the electronic and digital elements that can’t be recreated with an instrument live. I would hate for people to hear my music and come to my show and be like, this isn't as fun as the record. I just want my live show to be fun and I think right now that's what I’m focused on above all. I think performance art is also something I would love to incorporate later down the line, to see it become more cinematic as well. For now, I’m just trying to make it sound tight as fuck.

If you could play a show in one situation or location, where the money isn’t a question, where would you choose?

I don’t know really, maybe Mars? Call up Space X, like “Elon, send me to Mars so I can play the first set on another planet.”

As an overall, what do you want to be the landmarking importance of James Ivy when it’s all said and done? What do you want the first line of your Wikipedia page to say?

I want it to say: ‘James Ivy, the first Asian American artist to ever ‘do it’. Of course, there are a lot of upcoming artists like Joji and Mitski and Yaeji, but I think there's more room for Asian American representation within this scene as a whole. Anyone can do it now, literally, and I don't want to be defined by the way I look to not do something and I think other kids should be able to see someone who looks like them on stage.  And if I could do that for other kids, it would be the best thing, really.

Would you say then, the whole part of it is showing there’s no limit on creativity and art as a whole?

It’s something that I want to prove to myself. Something I’ve wanted for a while and it’s something I’ve wanted really bad. Part of it is proving it to myself, that I can do this and that pre-existing barriers don’t matter. Through that, you also prove it to others and I think that’s essential. At the end of the day, I would just be happy to live off music, but to be an inspiration for others in that position would mean the most.

Do you have anyone to shoutout? The floor is yours...

All my friends in New York: Harry, Caleb, Ally, my boys since freshman year. Shoutout to Been Stellar. Shoutout to Instupendo, Maxwell young, Stupidrichkid. They're all doing such great things. And shoutout to my friends from Texas, they know who they are and they’ve helped me a lot. And shoutout to Paraminds, man, thanks for letting me do this interview.

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Photos by Drake Li

Words and Interview by Guy Mizrahi

[trekkiepirate]

If the urge ever strikes ... I wouldn't say no to a fic(let) where Harry teaches Eggsy how to enjoy the finer things in life, how to pamper yourself (massage, straight razor shave, etc)

FOR YOU, YOU GENEROUS DARLING DEAR!

Also, this was less detailed on the finer things/pampering and more ‘Eggsy realizes how Harry woos a lover’, but I hope you like it nonetheless. :)

It took Eggsy longer than he wants to admit to realize that Harry was fucking courting him like some damn Jane Austen character.

Eggsy thought it was all perks of the job. It was all down to how to enjoy the finer things in life, innit? Eggsy was still playing catch up in some respects and Harry just wanted to erase that gap.

Booking him massages whenever Eggsy came back from a long or grueling mission; helping Eggsy hone his morning routine so that every bit of him, from skin to nails to hair gleamed in the manner of the very well-cared for (and buying Eggsy so many products that Roxy was forever taking the piss out of him for taking longer to get ready than she did); taking him to posh restaurants without trying to sneak in etiquette lessons like he used to; escorting him to every type of museum and show that took Eggsy’s fancy (opera had been more interesting than he thought, museums were best spent with Harry at his side providing his own tour, and the less said about the magic show the better. They were still banned from Magic Castle in Los Angeles).

It’s all Harry’s fault, of course. Did he, at any point, say “Eggsy I would like you to view all these presents and time spent together outside of work as tokens of my affections. By the by would you be averse to me shagging the life out of you after dessert, darling?”

No. No he did not.

So Eggsy had no bloody idea that Harry was trying to woo him until his mother (of all people, his bloody mum!) asked him if his boyfriend was joining them for dinner that Sunday.

Eggsy was already nodding in the affirmative before his mind caught up. “Wait, what? Harry ain’t my boyfriend.”

Michelle had frowned slightly. “Babes, I’m not actually blind, you know. I appreciate the effort you’re both taking to keep it on the down low, but you don’t gotta. I know what it means when a man is forever treating you to little gifts and tries to spend every waking minute with you, okay? It’s how your dad first won me over. Though,” Michelle said, casting an eye onto Harry’s latest present: an exquisite shaving kit, complete with a straight razor just like the one Harry had recently taught Eggsy how to use, “he did it mainly with buying me lemon sherbets and taking me to the pictures every week.”

Feeling on the back foot, Eggsy made a mental calculation of how often he and Harry spent time together outside work. It was an embarrassingly larger amount of time than Eggsy spent with his mum and Daisy. Next he tallied up how many gifts, whether extravagant and expensive or small and sentimental, Harry had presented him with lately. “Oh.”

Now Michelle look worried. “Eggsy? You are dating him, right?”

Eggsy just shook his head, still feeling off kilter from the revelation.

“Do you want to date him?”

Covering his face with his hands, Eggsy groaned. “I am the numpty to end all numpties, ain’t I? How could I be so fucking blind?”

Michelle smiled at her son. “Will you stop messing about and go get your man? And bring him to dinner Sunday; I’m making that pot roast he loves so much.”

Eggsy dropped his hands and started for the door before he turned back. Then back again, grabbing for the door handle. Once more, he faced back into the living from the corridor leading to the front door.

“You’re making me dizzy, what’s the matter?” Michelle asked, having gone back to collecting Daisy’s toys (several of which were also supplied by Harry and oh my god, Eggsy is the worst spy in the fucking world for not seeing that Harry was already accepting Eggsy’s family as his own).

“I should change,” Eggsy said, plucking at his lazing about the house clothes, a faded old tee and trackies. “Like, I was thinking I should change into my nicest shit and get cleaned up to show Harry that his presents weren’t wasted. That I know how to take care of myself now, because he’s been taking such good care of me.”

Tossing a final stuffie into the toy chest and shutting it, Michelle nodded. “Right, well. Go do that.”

Eggsy shook his head. “But then I was thinking, what if I just go as I am? To show Harry that all that stuff, the… the trappings or whatever, it ain’t what matters to me. That even if we never did anything more interesting than order takeout and watch telly for the rest of our lives, I’d still love him.”

“It’s love already, is it?” Michelle asked. “Five minutes ago you didn’t even know he wanted to date you.”

“I’ve loved him since the first time he smiled at me,” Eggsy said, the long-buried truth coming out in a breathless whisper. “It wasn’t even a big smile, not like he does now. He said I was full of surprises and he gave me this soft little smile and I about went to-” remembering just in time that he was talking to his mum, Eggsy curtailed the words 'my knees’ into, “jelly right then and there.”

Michelle crossed her arms and watched Eggsy war with himself for a moment more. “If you don’t leave this house right now, I’m filming this and sending it to Harry. Then I’m putting it on YouTube, yeah? Your bald friend taught me how to edit videos. I will add silly music and all, love.”

Eggsy was out the door within the next breath, thinking that he really should never have let Merlin and his mother become friends.

By the time he got to Harry’s door, Eggsy was doubting himself again. “What the fuck am I gonna say?” he asked in the air as he ran to Harry’s townhouse.

In Harry’s defense, opening the door to a sweaty man who shouted, “Do you wanna shag?” in your face was plenty enough reason to go speechless for a bit, which is exactly what Harry did as Eggsy leaned against the door frame and prayed for a time machine to take him back to when he wasn’t such a fucking idiot.

“I think I misheard you, Eggsy.”

“You didn’t,” Eggsy sighed, but that was what came up in my mind roulette as I tried to think of what to say to you regarding… everything I now know. Think I know. Shit.”

Harry stepped aside and let Eggsy in. “All right. Let’s try this again, shall we? Hello, Eggsy. Lovely to see you. How can I help you today?”

Eggsy took a deep breath. “I want to take you on a date. Tonight, if you’re free. Which you should be because Saturdays you want the Strictly Come Dancing episode you missed during the week. You should put that off to come on a date with me. And I’m calling it a date from the off, which is more than you’ve done, you confusing bugger.”

“Ahh,” Harry said. “I was working my way up to that.”

“We’ve been going on not-date dates for so long that my mum thinks we’re already together. And I want us to be. You in?”

Harry smiled, dimples on full display. “All in, darling.” He took a step forward, but was held off by Eggsy’s hand on his chest. “My apologies. You’re right. A gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date. I’ll see you tonight.”

Eggsy grinned and grabbed Harry’s jumper in a tight fist. “Oh no, in just a sec we’re gonna kiss until our tongues are numb for starter for ten. But I gotta remind you that we’re having dinner with Mum and Daisy tomorrow. Mum’s doing pot roast.”

Harry’s smile widened. “Wonderful! I’ll bring pudding, as per usual.”

Using his grip to bring Harry close, Eggsy whispered, “Oh no, we’re going to be far too busy making up for lost time until we have to head over there tomorrow. We’ll buy a cake on the way.”

“So I take it,” Harry said, nuzzling against Eggsy’s temple, his cheeks, his jawline, “that you accept my romantic intentions towards you?”

“At least for the first couple rounds,” Eggsy grinned. “In the morning, you can accept my 'romantic intentions’.” He winked and caught Harry’s laugh with his smirking lips.

[blueisunlucky]

1. more cereal than milk 2. no 3. a broken adventure time card holder given to me from the one that got away on halloween three years ago 4. i don’t drink coffee & i take my tea with two sugars, sometimes one and a half, depending on the size of the mug 5. yes 6. no, but i’d like to 7. - 8. words 9. no 10. side 11. shipping each other with males whom they have a vague connection with (e.g. makes a teacher laugh once, sees a random boy’s name on their Snapchat contact list that we don’t know,) 12. earth 13. my brother showing me a meme 14. spiral stairs, raw brick walls, a neutral colour scheme and warm fairy lights. lots of them. these fairy lights will be stringed across the walls and have candid poleroid photos pegged to them. tables covered in newspaper clippings, sketches of plants and fairytale creatures, cutouts from magazines and used mugs. strange abstract paintings from market stalls that we thought were funny, creaky wooden flooring and shaggy rugs on top. 15. 99% of our solar system’s mass is the sun! the sun is fucking huge 16. spaghetti without the sauce 17. blonde, but people think it wouldn’t suit me. blue seems intriguing 18. i used to write these cheesy erotic short stories about my friend and some guy (see no. 11) on scrap pieces of paper for my friends to annoy the said friend. these papers are now lost, but the memories of them aren’t 19. no. i have tried, but i always forget about it after a while 20. blue, for the first girl my heart latched on to. 21. i don’t have a specific bag, but an assortment of school bags that constantly broke or were horribly bulky that i kept pushing or bashing people 22. is anyone? 23. write, but i never get the time anymore 24. yes 25. me break into someplace? ha i’m a pussy 26. what is this question? my school shoes, because i’m obliged to wear black shoes? 27. bubblegum is already a flavour 28. sunset 29. one of my friends literally lights up from about 20 to 100 if you mention something she likes. she has such pure, childlike enthusiasm 30. yes 31. socks. I despise the rise of ankle socks. you’re paying the full price for half a sock. like?!!1!? otherwise, i enjoy all socks, frilly, knee length, comical, odd. maybe not sports socks though 32. i have never been out with my friends after 3am. sad times. 33. apple pie, no doubt 34. i had a stuffed tiger toy called “Tiger” but pronounced like “Tigger”. he wasn’t the Disney one. my father bought it for my mother, and she gave it to me. my younger self called him my husband and I liked kissing him. he currently sits at the back of my wardrobe. 35. i am the stationary whore. i steal and hoard pens, pencils, rubbers, coloured paper, paper clips, etc, that i find on the floor or abandoned in classrooms when the coast is clear. 36. coldplay 37. messy 38. the sound of chewing, saliva, and those sort of things 39. i’m not sure. if i had to choose, i’d guess grey? 40. i have a gold ring with a gold bow on it in the drawer of my wardrobe. back in high school, me and my mates had this inside joke that one of my friends and I were “married”, so one April she and the others came to my house and she joke proposed to me. 41. Thanks for the Trouble, by Tommy Wallach 42. i wish i had a small, pretty corner coffee shop to tell stories about, but i just don’t drink coffee. all i got is the Starbucks and the Costa’s i grab hot chocolates from when i’m outside and alone, or when my friends feel like it 43. probably my cat 44. AS results day. we all got crappy grades, and the four of us sat in a playground and laughed 45. no 46. compasses and protractors are banned from my school because they’re considered weapons of math destruction 47. peppercorns 48. i don’t think i had a fear when i was younger, but now i fear rejection and being seen as boring 49. i’ve never owned a record and the last CD i had was given to me during primary school. everyone uses online copies now, unless they’re being aesthetic ™ 50. stationary (see no. 35). 51. Jenny, by Studio Killers 52. is Hollyweed considered a meme? 53. nope. i’m uncultured swine 54. my mother 55. pretend to forget, like faking momentary amnesia, and boy, it was the worst decision i’ve made to this day 56. nicknames, gift giving outside of holidays or birthdays, remembering little details 57. chaotic, suicidal, but nearing the end, strangely peaceful 58. i’m the vodka aunt, for i spike my own tea with it, as an “experiment”. I’m yet to find the wine mom 59. religion 60. yeah, i like it. La Belle Dame Sans Merci, by John Keats, at the moment, but i haven’t read enough to make an informed decision 61. a toy cross bow for my father. he never used it, and i don’t know why i got that; i just wanted to get him something. for me, a penguin cuddly you from a girl i hardly talked to anymore. i was sixteen or seventeen i think? i don’t mean to be rude but why? 62. i don’t have time to drink in the morning. the exception would be when i was doing that vodka-tea experiment (see no. 58) 63. my books are currently in a rainbow colour order. if they weren’t, i wouldn’t care too much 64. a pale blue, with a smudge of purple-grey clouds 65. the first friend i ever made, Tusma. she moved houses at the end of year three. i haven’t seen her in about eight years 66. depends. i’m torn between going dainty and picking yellow: buttercups, dandelions, daisies, with soft clovers and the occasional purple wildflower, like a rugged, forest fairy. or standing fierce, a red rose crown, thick with thorns, holly leaves and berries, some crushed, scarlet liquid dripping down my forehead but eyes staring straight ahead. 67. powerful, invisible, stealthy 68. cold, bitter, sometimes dry like a cough or wet and uncomfortable. it doesn’t snow anymore 69. scrabble, monopoly 70. in year nine, some kids decided they wanted to use a ouija board. i was curious, and i walked into the science room they were planning to use when the teachers were gone and the lights were off, despite my friends’ protests. it wasn’t an actual ouija board, but an imitation, scribbles on a piece of paper. i can’t remember who did it with me, but i’m pretty sure some of them were the popular kids. we felt no presence, although everyone tried their best to scare each other. we never said goodbye. no ghosts have haunted or killed me yet. 71. earl grey, or normal tea with a sprinkle of ginger 72. i feel as if i’m going to forget and can’t handle things, but i rarely note things down. i seem to cope, just 73. daydreaming, procrastinating, not being able to keep my own secrets 74. shy, quiet bean, needs to be protected at all costs, their laugh is more of a giggle, good at art, baby of the group, secretly wants to get drunk and make out with people, i suspect a little bi-curious but i can’t be sure, has technology and food kinks (but not at the same time) 75. i have a black and white cat named Wallace, after Wallace from Wallace & Gromit, because he eats cheese. he has a wonky tongue because he cut it on something but we never found out what that something was. he’s eleven years old, so he’s getting on now, and i think there’s a rising rivalry between Wallace and a mysterious black cat that keeps popping up near our garden 76. revising, duh 77. have never tried pink lemonade, so yellow 78. hateclub 79. sent me a claraxeleven edit as means to make me stay when i was thinking of running away. i thought only those deep in the doctor who fandom watched those, and it may have suggested i was rubbing off on him 80. lilac. i chose it because when i first moved into this room i was sharing it with my younger sister, so i wanted to choose a colour that she wouldn’t hate that was also not pink 81. watery brown stone (cba) 82. yeah, i was usually in the top or second top groups 83. i don’t buy albums, so i wouldn’t know where to start 84. yes. a small TARDIS at the back of my neck. maybe a ruffled feather, despite it being a little cliché, it has a literal importance to me. something related to space on one of my thighs, and perhaps something with roses, or skulls 85. unfortunately, no 86. i don’t know what those are 87. The Imitation Game, High School Musical, Edward Scissorhands, Men in Black, Shrek, Home Alone, Independence Day, The Wizard of Oz, Harry Potter, Hidden Figures, the Star Wars trilogy, Freaky Friday, Titanic, Jurassic Park, Alien, Terminator, Jaws, Jumanji 88. dancing when i’m alone, and dabbing (sorry not sorry) 89. debatable 90. it isn’t a city, but my favourite place is the Isle of Wight. i first tried tea in a big blue breakfast room at the b&b and learned to play pool at a pool table you had to put a pound in to play. i fed a lamb and my brother wet the bed and we watched a Lara Croft movie in our little room and it rained most of the time but i loved it all so 91. no where 92. barely sprinkles 93. bedhead, sometimes brushed 94. yesterday, a boy who loves me but i ran out of love months ago 95. nothing unusual 96. procrastinate 97. myer briggs? what is this? capricorn, gryffindor 98. NCS, where we all hiked across the coast of Wales, and at the end of it i thought my legs were going to fall off and my feet were all numb. beautiful views though 99. If I Lose Myself, One Republic; Give Your Heart a Break, Demi Lovato; Get Out, Casey Abrams; Oh No!, Marina and the Diamonds; Spectrum, Zedd 100. past, because i know what i’d do

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS & CLAPS - THE GRIMSBY EDITION PART 2! (IT'S GRIM IN GRIMSBY).

Hello again. I am Chris Wilson, the official #GrimsbyGraps correspondent for Graps and Claps. Grimsby is quite a random place for dedicated coverage but until I can coax our Andy to visit the town with the third best football team in Lincolnshire (out of 3), someone needs to tell you how #GrimsbyGraps is taking over the world. Yes, really. Well, maybe.

It all started when some brilliant, creative genius invented the #GrimsbyGraps hashtag and-- Okay, fine, let's skip forward.

Since the last time we were here for BWR's Ignition, British Wrestling Revolution put tickets on sale for their next show, 'No Gods, No Masters'. It sold out in ten hours! This was for a bigger venue too: the first card at the prestigious - if a place for record, job and craft fairs counts as that - Cleethorpes Memorial Hall in 24 years. Unbelievable stuff. BWR then put tickets on sale for their April event also at the Memorial Hall, 'Dive and Kicking', possibly in hope of starting PROGRESS-style immediate sell-outs from now until the end of time. They have sold half their allocation so far. Pretty impressive for #GrimsbyGraps, but the difference between the two shows is one man alone. As discussed before on this blog, having the WWE UK champion Pete Dunne on the card guarantees an extra 80 to 100 ticket sales. He is a rare draw in the age of strongly-branded promotions themselves being the main attraction. 

BWR stacked the card for 'No Gods, No Masters'. Suddenly, a snowstorm in March. BWR came out relatively unscathed considering OTT and Discovery Wrestling have cancelled their plans for this weekend. However, BWR announced the morning of the show that Kay Lee Ray, Big T, Big Grizzly, and Tel Banham couldn't make it. And later in the afternoon, the weather had held down and choked Bram in Birmingham, meaning five matches would not go ahead as scheduled. The good news, though: the two big contests remained in tact.

So, let's get on with the report.

Firstly, you can tell I'm not Andy Ogden as my pre-show drinking involved a bottle of water to keep myself hydrated, followed by a severely-diluted protein shake due to my next shipment of powder being stuck in a van somewhere on the motorway (wouldn't have happened if Amazon used Simon Morris Transport). Yes, instead of pub crawling, I was in the gym until 30 minutes before bell-time. And that's why I'm only allowed to report on #GrimsbyGraps. 

'No Gods, No Masters' began with the ring announcer's opening spiel. Apparently "we're not jobbing to a snow storm" (actual words), and he used a variation of "the weather's cold outside but the action inside is RRREEEDDD HOT". Pop.

Out came Reese Ryan, doing his Nathan Cruz circa 2012 'Hollywood-with-a-thick-northern-accent' shtick. His advertised Blockbuster Announcement was in two parts: not only has he released Big T from his security detail and replaced him with evil choir boy Will Kroos, but he introduced the Real Wrestling VIP Championship. In wrestling, it seems you can bring your own title and it's legitimate. Jonny Storm appeared unannounced and challenged Ryan for the belt. What followed was a ten-minute bout in which Storm outclassed Ryan in between the referee somehow failing to notice the large evil choir boy attacking Storm. Kroos entered the ring and planted Storm with a DDT to ensure Ryan retained his "title".

Next, the Korn-dubstep antics of Guilty By Habit transcended Southside Wrestling as Robbie X and SUUUUUUUUPERTWAT Kip Sabian (replacing Big Grizzly) defeated The Proven's Caz Crash and Sam Wilder. This was a top-notch contest. I love how X and Sabian don't get along, as though they're only in GBH together because their mates are mates. An added bonus too: the match ended with a CHEEKY ROLL-UP and a CHEEKY HOLDING ONTO THE TIGHTS. #MyGraps.

Lana Austin was up next, accompanied by Eliza Roux and Jami Sparx. With Kay Lee Ray "too scared" to show up, Roux offered an open challenge on "her best friend Lana's" behalf. Little Miss Roxxy made her BWR debut by accepting. Although the crowd took a while to get into it, Austin and Roxxy put in quite a shift until everyone was emotionally invested. Roxxy finally gained momentum once Roux and Sparx were kicked out for their extra-curricular activities and hit a springboard knee-faceplant for the win. Roux and Sparx reappeared and left Roxxy laying on the canvas.

Before intermission, we saw the much-hyped hardcore match between Jimmy Havoc and local hero/silly boy Tyler Devlin. There were no pretences here: both men introduced every weapon they were planning to use from under the ring before the bell rung. Devlin's antics were mercifully less of his own doing this time, but he still managed to get thrown onto a ladder, bounce off a guardrail he had balanced from the ring, eat pins, get curb stomped onto pins, and falling after Havoc's rainmaker onto, yup, pins. Silly boy. Rewind a bit: the ultimate silly boy-ness came moments before when he executed a Jeff Hardy-style senton bomb from a ladder through a table outside the ring... and missed. It was the sickest spot I've seen in person since Death House. Silly boy. Havoc won with that aforementioned rainmaker. After the match, he got on the mic, said he was impressed with Devlin, "but you're just a Jimmy Havoc knock-off". Cue a kick to the nads. Bit harsh from Havoc. I'd say he's more a Clint Margera knock-off. 

Intermission. £1.10 for a can of Fanta Lemon went down very well considering I didn't know Fanta Lemon was still a thing. Meanwhile, the raffle was £1 PER NUMBER. Related note: Cleethorpes voted Tory.

After a forty minute break for some reason, we returned with Tyson T-Bone coming out. Originally he was meant to face Bram. His new opponent was... Gabriel Kidd. Every time I go to a show where someone pulls out, Kidd is the replacement. 3CW in November, PROGRESS Sheffield in December, now this. Never mind "Life Boat Man", he should be called "Answers The Phone Man".

Tyson T-Bone versus Gabriel Kidd sounded terrible on paper. Already in my head, I was going to dismiss the match. So, obviously, they fucked with me by having a blistering, hard-hitting brawl that went around the ring - including a sweet knee drop by Kidd onto T-Bone as he hung over the guardrail - and delivered more chops than a vegan's nightmare. It helped how the crowd were RRREEEDDD-HOT for this (take note, Sheffield Southside). T-Bone hit Kidd with a piledriver for the victory and both men were applauded. If it wasn't for the main event, this would've been my match of the night. Strange times indeed.

Next: Scotty Rawk, Cole Quinzel, Matt Myers, and Kelvin Kayton defeated Jimmy Mcilwee, Harry the Hammer Winston, evil choir boy Will Kroos, and (despite being fired in November) Simon Lancaster in a "Get the Lads on the Card" match. The crowd love Mcilwee's homeless, can't-get-a-BWR-contract-even-though-he's-on-every-card gimmick but there was nothing else noteworthy here.

El Ligero versus Tom Weaver versus Robbie X doing double-duty in place of Tel Banham. In a confusing series of events: the ring announcer said the following was a triple-threat match, Robbie X attacked Tom Weaver during his entrance, and he interjected himself into the match to make it... a triple threat match? The announcer tried back-tracking by saying he "suddenly understood" the original third participant couldn't be there, but it was a bit contrived (sorry, readers). This was another excellent contest. Weaver hit a shooting star press on X for the victory before Ligero approvingly shook his hand. I hope they find something substantial for Weaver - as a local lad, he deserves more high-profile fights at these bigger shows than winning throwaway - albeit great - triple threat matches.

In the main event, WWE UK champion Pete Dunne faced the World #GrimsbyGraps Champion Joseph Conners for the latter's title. With this being the third high-profile match between the two in seven weeks (PROGRESS, TNT, here), a friend joked they are this generation's Jonny Storm versus Jody Fleisch. And you can't help but admit they work really well together, telling a well-told story of the cocky AF Dunne stretching Conners as the World #GrimsbyGraps Champion got the crowd (who were evenly split) behind him to make his comeback. I admire how Dunne never half-arses a match, pulling out the same flips and top-rope stomps and high-octane brawling as seen in Fight Club Pro. Together they brought out a big match feel likely never seen in Grimsby/Cleethorpes. It's a massive credit to both men. But...

...let's quickly talk about Dunne's WWE UK title. I can't believe this has never been angrily discussed on Twitter. Can you name me one time other than PROGRESS Ally Pally where the current UK champion has taken a pinfall or submission loss at a non-WWE show? It's as though there's a contractual obligation or something. To be fair, I believed for a couple of near falls that Dunne would become the World #GrimsbyGraps Champion, even if I never believed Conners would cleanly retain the title. Here came the bullshit finish: Tyson T-Bone ran in and attacked both men. No contest. Conners and Dunne chased off T-Bone. Then Conners challenged Dunne to continue the match, only for Dunne to kick him in the nads and leave. Conners got on the mic again and teased a rematch between the two down the line to end the show. Finish aside, this was easily the best match in the era of #GrimsbyGraps to date. 

'No Gods, No Masters' as a whole, putting aside my local pride, was a top-shelf show. They overcame the weather and delivered one of the stronger cards I've been to for some time. The crowd was well up for the action, while the wrestlers brought their A-game. Cleethorpes Memorial Hall is a cracking venue for the graps too. Definitely worth the visit if you're coming from out of town. Just, you know, avoid going out in Cleethorpes afterwards if you enjoy your health and wellbeing. 

Here's hoping the momentum continues into 'Dive and Kicking' on April 20th. This event will feature a tournament to crown the first-ever BWR Cruiserweight champion - an odd choice for a division given all but three guys are cruiserweights, but there we go. Of course, your #GrimsbyGraps correspondent will be there in person, so I'll see you back on Graps and Claps on the 21st. 

Until next time!