#Dutton

[raven-dor]

i'm too scared to say...

in which kayce dutton loses the girl he should've had…

PAIRING: kayce dutton x fem!reader, young kayce dutton x young fem!reader WARNINGS: young love, realization, ANGST ANGST ANGST, CRAZY amounts of yearning, cussing, arguing, regret, did i mention angst? (dear arthur letter) WORD COUNT: 4.4k

🎶 : when i picture you - chappell roan

when i picture you

AN: by young I mean 18, about to go to college young!! there is a second (modern) part of this, so stay tuned!!

The air nipped at Kayce’s cheeks as him, his father, and their search party trotted back to the ranch. It was nearly 10, at the least, he assumed. He could see a figure in the distance, her skirt billowing in the wind as she (he assumed) pulled his Carhartt jacket closer for warmth. He suddenly felt warmer knowing that she was waiting for him. Then worry ran through his veins. How long had she been waiting there for him? 

His father groaned. “Christ, Kayce. Just got back and she’s already waitin’ after you.” 

He fought the urge to snap at his father. “She’s excited, that’s all.” Kayce stayed diligently beside him, but he itched to race the rest of the distance and pull her into his arms.

“Well go on then.” 

Kayce grinned. “Really?” 

“I can see your mind moving a hundred miles an hour. Just-” He sighed, laughing as he spoke. “Make sure to bring her up for dinner.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

He waited for no further instruction, kicking his horse to gallop at full speed. There she stood, as radiant as ever, right at the gate. He jumped off, catching her in his arms. He grinned, kissing her rosy cheeks. “Hi, baby.” 

“I was worried about you.” She giggled as he kissed her between every word. “Was your trip- Mmph!”

Good, he thought. All he thought about since he’d left was kissing her, and her adorable speech was getting in the way fo that. Her eyes fluttered shut, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her even closer.

He tilted his hat up, leaning his forehead against hers. “I’m trying to kiss you, and you keep talking.” 

“I’m sorry, I just-” She laughed, pushing him away half heartedly when he inched toward her lips again. “Kayce!” 

“Let me look at you.” She rolled her eyes, obliging him by spinning in a circle. “Just as perfect as I left you.” 

“It’s been two days, Kayc.” She glared. 

“Really?” He smirked, pulling her and JR toward the stables. “With that welcome, you woulda thought I went to war.” 

“If you’re going to tease…” She muttered, releasing his hand and leaning against JR’s stable door. She’d always found it sweet, the way Kayce took care of his horse. Still, she couldn’t let him think he’d won. “Maybe next time, I won’t be there to welcome you.” 

He laughed, patting JR on the side before shutting her stable doors. He turned around, swinging his arm around Y/N’s shoulders and pulling her up to the lodge. “Empty threats, baby.” 

His smile was beautiful, she’d always made a point to tell him so. She enjoyed seeing his cheeks grow red, and words fail to leave his mouth. 

When they were younger, they’d get into mud fights, and she swore his smile had never been brighter.

She was wrong, of course. If you’d asked Kayce, he would’ve said his smile was brighter than when she was in his sights.

The lodge was eerily quiet, but then again, it had been that way since Beth and Jamie left. All that was left now was Kayce, Lee, and Mr.Dutton. 

And of course, Gator. Sweet Gator. 

Kayce took his arm off her, pulling her chair out. Y/N laughed, kissing his cheek. “You’ve raised such a gentleman, Mr.Dutton.” 

Lee laughed, taking a sip of his bourbon as he shook his head. Kayce glared at his older brother, sitting beside his girlfriend. “Why are you laughin'?” 

“You’re a gentleman.” Lee wiggled his eyebrows. “I never would have guessed.” 

“You wouldn’t know one if he stood right in front of you.” Kayce shot back. “I-” 

“Kayc?” Y/N interupted. “He’s just teasing.” 

Mr. Dutton rarely responded to her comments, let alone spoke at the dinner table. Instead, he opted to sit back and observe his children, and their occasional guests. He used to be rowdy, she reminisced on simpler times when Mrs. Dutton had made everyone giggle with ease. 

Even her now stoic husband. 

“How was the trip, Mr. Dutton?” Y/N asked as she cut her steak into pieces. “Did you find the lost cattle?” 

Lee winced, and she looked over to her boyfriend, his eyes wide. Shit. 

Mr. Dutton leaned back in his chair. “Found half dead.” 

“Oh.” The air felt thick, and she suddenly felt the urge to race out of the room. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

“Not your fault.” He forced a smile. “Suppose Kayce forgot to tell you then.” 

“Yes, sir.”

“How has school been treating you?” He pretended to be interested in her from time to time. This had been the fifteenth time that he’d asked her about school - this month. “Kayce tells me you're one of the smart ones.” 

She smiled shyly. “Well, I wouldn’t say that…” 

“Tell him how you can speak Latin, baby.” Kayce looked at his dad, proud as ever. “She can speak Latin.” 

“I can read Latin, Kayc, not speak it.” Y/N placed her hand over his. “I’ve applied to five schools so far. Should be hearing back any day now.” 

“What schools?” 

“I’ve applied to Yale, Stanford, NYU, Vanderbilt, and Montana State. Hopefully for Political Science, and then Law during grad school.” 

Mr. Dutton raised an eyebrow. “Montana State for law?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“For the last time, Y/N, it’s John.” 

She smiled. “Montana State is the best college in the state.” 

“It’s one of the only colleges in the state.” He laughed. “That can’t be your top choice.”

“It’s not, but still...” She hoped he didn’t dive further into the subject, she could feel where this was going. She’d only told her father this, but she only applied to MU to be closer to Kayce. “Just an option.” 

“Your father wants you closer to home then?” 

“My father encouraged out-of-state schools. Wanted me to gain experience in the ‘real world’ or something like that.” 

The older man laughed. “I told Beth and Jamie to do the same.” 

Kayce squeezed her hand tightly, and she looked over, whispering. “You alright?”  He nodded quickly, not even bothering to meet her eyes. She frowned. “Kayce-” 

“It’s alright, baby.” He let go of her hand so quickly you would have guessed it had been on fire. “Eat up, your steak’s gettin’ cold.” 

Kayce hadn’t looked up from his plate for the rest of the night. 

Unfortunately, that meant for Y/N (besides her boyfriend ignoring her) that she had had to make conversation with Lee and Mr. Dutton by herself. He just stared at his plate, picking at his food like he wasn’t hungry. After the hundredth time of trying to get his attention, she realized that she should probably just leave. She sat her napkin down, smoothing out her dress. “I should be getting home.”

Mr. Dutton nodded. “Tell your father I said hello.” 

“Will do.” She stood up and waved goodbye. “Lee.” 

“See you, Y/N.” 

She pushed her chair in, staring at Kayce. “Kayce?” He refused to look up, and she scoffed, storming out of the house. 

“You best go after her.” 

Kayce glared at his older brother. “Why?” 

“Cause you’ve been ignoring her all night, that’s why.” Lee leaned forward in his seat. “She is the best chance you got, and you just let her leave.” 

“We’ll talk in the morning.” 

Lee held his hands up in surrender. “Fine. It’s your funeral.” 

Kayce almost immediately stood up, following after her. Lee smirked. “Stupid kid.” 

“Y/N!” She rolled her eyes, stalking toward her car. “Baby, come on!” 

“Don’t baby me!” She yelled over her shoulder. “You just ignored me for two hours, Kayce John Dutton!” 

“Baby-” 

“I said don’t baby me.” She whipped around, eyes wild with anger or embarrassment, he couldn’t tell. “Or do your ears need cleaning out?” 

“My ears are just fine.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, okay?” 

“What exactly are you sorry for?” She raised an eyebrow. “Because you don’t seem sorry to me.” 

“I-” He groaned. “What do you want me to say, Y/N?” 

“Well, not that. Because that was the wrong answer, Dutton.” She laughed, although there was no humor present. “Come find me when you do know.” She turned back toward her car, unlocking it and pulling on the handle. She’d almost shut the door when his hand grabbed the top, stopping her from her escape. 

“We’re fine, right?” 

“Kayce, just let me go.” She let go of the door, staring at the wheel with a newfound interest. “We’ll talk when you know.” 

“I- I do know.” 

“Please share with the class.” 

“I don’t want you to have to settle.” 

That had shocked her. She looked up, staring into his eyes. “Settle?” 

“You’re so smart, baby.” He crouched down, taking her hand in his. “So smart, much more than me. You applied to Yale and I only applied to Montana. Hell, I might not even get in.” 

“Don’t say that.” She frowned, her exterior cracking as she turned in her seat, facing him and pushing a hair out of his face. “You’re every bit as smart as me.” 

“Don’t-” He scoffed. “You and I know that's true. It’s not a bad thing. You could probably run the world if you wanted to.” 

“Not a real job.” She murmured, laughing as Kayce glared at her playfully. “But I appreciate the sentiment.” She put her hands on his cheeks, caressing his cheeks. “You’re sweet for thinking that though, Kayce.” 

“Thank you-” 

“Just-” Her eyes looked sad. “Don’t put yourself down for me, okay? You really are just as smart. In different areas, sure. But…” She smiled, leaning down and kissing him gently. “Just as smart.” 

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He stood up, shutting her door and leaning through her open window. “Tell your father I said hello.” 

“I will.” He nodded. “And Kayce?” 

“Yeah, baby?” 

“I love you.” 

"I love you, too."

“I don’t know about this.” Y/N tensed up as Kayce led JR around the pen. “I feel like I’m gonna fall off.” 

“If you’re tense, the horse is tense.” He smiled, placing a reassuring hand on her thigh. “Just relax.” 

“That’s helpful.” She glared. “Why didn’t I think of that earlier?” 

“Sass doesn’t make the horse calmer either.” He laughed. “Put your hand on her side, and pet her gently.” 

She nodded. “Okay.” 

“Good, good. Now just feel her breath with yours.” Y/N visibly calmed down, and he fought the grin that begged to peek out. “See that? You’re one and the same.” 

“Yeah.” She smiled, humming and closing her eyes. 

“Might not want to do that, baby.” 

“Why not?” She hummed. “Because I’m not steering anymore.” 

“What?” Her eyes shot up, and discovered he was true to his word. Kayce was no longer leading JR, but standing in the middle of the pen, laughing at her. “That’s not funny Kayce!”

“I don’t know. It was pretty funny to me.” He yelled back. “Go a little faster why don’t you?” 

“How?” 

“Lightly squeeze your legs!” The horse sped up almost instantly, and he grinned. “Good job, baby!” 

“I’m doing it!” She practically squealed. “Kayc, are you watching?” 

“Yes, baby.” He laughed. “Yes, I’m watching.” 

“This is so fun!” She yelled. “Why didn’t you teach me sooner?” 

“Ms. Y/N!” Kayce turned around, Lloyd waving an envelope in the air. “Your father came by, said he had a letter for you.”

Y/N raced over to the other side of the pen, taking the envelope from Lloyd’s hand, and muttering thank you. Kayce sauntered over, looking up at her hands. 

“What is it?” 

She shrugged. “Dunno. I’ll look at it later.” 

He tilted his head. “You sure? If your dad dropped it off it must be-”

“Can we go on a ride?” She interrupted. Kayce didn’t miss the way she was skirting around the letter. But he could never turn down a ride, never. “Please?” 

“Sure baby. Scoot back.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t think you’re quite ready for a ride all by yourself.” 

She scoffed, sticking her tongue out playfully. “You don’t believe in me, you can just say it.” 

Their spot was perfect. There was a tree to tie JR to, a log to lay their heads on, and the perfect amount of shade thanks to the trees that loomed over them. The birds flitted from tree to tree, the creek babbling behind them as the sun peeked through the branches.

Kayce hummed. “You look gorgeous.” 

“Thank you.” She blushed, kissing his cheek. “Take that hat off?” 

“What for?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“I want to wear it.” She scoffed. “The sun’s gettin’ in my eyes.”

“What if the sun’s getting in my eyes too?” 

“Hmm.” She tapped her chin, pretending to think. “Come here.” Laying her head against the log, she tapped the crook of her neck. “You can lay your head right here, I can almost guarantee the sun won’t hit your eyes here.” 

He nodded quickly. “Yes, ma’am.” His hat had been too big for her since he’d gotten it five years ago, but she still insisted that she wear it from time to time. She looked down, blushing when she saw he was already staring at her. She turned her head away, giggling. 

“What’s so funny?”

“You- you just like looking at me, huh?” 

He nodded, kissing the crook of her neck lightly. “I do.” 

Her heart fluttered at the feeling. “I’m gonna explode if you stare at me too long.” 

“Well, we can’t have that.” He hummed. “Can you look at me?” She shook her head, and his eyebrows furrowed. “Why not?” 

“I’m embarrassed.” 

“Oh?” He smirked. “How come?” 

“I think you know why, Kayce. You always do this, you know you do.”

“What is it that I do?” 

The smug bastard. She turned back toward him, staring directly into his eyes, and whispered. “You look at me and I turn to mush.” 

He laughed, quickly kissing her lips before laying back down. “You do the same thing to me, baby.” 

He fell asleep (what seemed like) seconds later. Looking down at her boyfriend, Y/N couldn’t help but smile. He looked so content with his arm slung around her waist, occasionally pulling her closer in his sleep. 

Her heart broke the longer she looked at him. She’d felt horrible lying to him earlier, about the letter. When Lloyd had handed her the envelope and the address read Connecticut, she knew that would be the wrong place, the wrong time to tell him. 

She told herself that every time she got a letter from Yale. How would she bring it up? It would break his heart, as much as he tried to pretend it hadn’t. 

It didn’t help that they hadn’t talked about college since their argument in November. 

It was now late April, two weeks before graduation.

She had one week to accept her offer, and ever since she’d been admitted, they’d been bombarding her with letters. Her father had been furious when he’d found out she’d ignored them. He always went on long rants about wanting her to have more, more than he ever had, or ever could. 

And Montana, in his opinion, didn’t have that. 

But when she looked at Kayce, at their little life on the ranch, she knew he was wrong. Kayce would be happy for her, they could figure it out. She vowed then and there, she would tell him as they rode back. 

“Kayce?” Her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist.

He hummed. “Yeah?” 

“I need to tell you something.” 

“Alright…” 

“I-” She laid her face on his back, his jacket muffling the sound of her voice. “Just promise you won’t be mad.” 

“Why would I be mad?” He felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

“You remember the letter from earlier?” 

He nodded. 

“It was important.” Her voice wavered as she spoke. “It was from Yale.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I got in.” 

“What?” Kayce pulled JR to a stop, grinning. “You did?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I did.” 

“Baby!” He got off the horse, pulling her down so he could spin her around. “That’s great, that’s really great!” 

She giggled, throwing her head back as he spun her. “You’re not mad?” 

“Why would I be mad?” He stopped spinning her, lowering her until their lips were inches apart. “I knew you would.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah!” He nodded, tipping his hat up, kissing her so passionately she thought her knees would go out. “God, I’m so proud of you.” 

“Kayce!” She giggled. “I’m not done.” 

“What else is there?” He murmured, leaning his forehead against hers. 

“I don’t think I’m going to accept the offer.” 

His eyes widened. “Why not?” 

“I- I don’t want to leave you. Montana State is good, and I can get a great degree here… with you.”

“Well, that’s… wow.” He frowned. “Are you sure about this?”

“I’ve thought about it a lot, Kayc. A lot. I can’t imagine my life without you in it and I don’t think I can take moving across the country.” 

“And I can’t imagine my life without you either.” He reassured her. “But this is a big opportunity baby. I don’t want you to give it up.” 

“I’m not giving it up. I’m choosing to stay here. No one’s forcing me to do anything.” 

She put her hand on his cheek. “Okay?” 

“Okay.” He nodded, helping her back onto JR, but it ate at him, the fact that she was staying here for him. It was plain as day, even if she wouldn’t admit it. 

Still, if she wanted to stay, he wouldn’t push her away. He loved her too much for that.

“Where have you been?” 

Kayce jumped, clutching his heart. “Jesus, Dad.” 

“So?” His deep voice echoed through the living room. 

“Out with Y/N.” 

“Ah.”

He knew he shouldn’t have told his father, but he felt so proud, so immensely proud to even know her, he had to. “She got into Yale.” 

“Yale huh?” 

He nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

“I bet her father’s real proud.” 

“I don’t think he knows.” That had been Kayce’s second mistake. “She’s planning on staying here.” 

“Really?” John laughed, shaking his head. “Huh.” 

“What?” Kayce crossed his arms, staring at his dad. “I can tell you want to say something.” 

“She’s a smart girl, that’s all.” 

“I know she is, Dad.” 

“Really think she belongs here?” 

Kayce shrugged. “Dunno. But it’s not really my choice, is it?” 

“I suppose not.” He stood up, patting his son on the shoulder. “Sleep tight, son.” 

He hadn’t slept a bit. He knew his father was right, in a way. No way was he going to let Y/N stay here for him and him alone. 

And while he forced himself to eat breakfast, he came to a gut-wrenching realization. 

He had to break up with her. 

He jumped in his truck, racing over to her house as he rehearsed what to say. She wouldn’t take it well anyway he said it, but he had to do this. She deserved the world, and staying here would most definitely take her away from it. 

God, she was perfect. She was wearing his favorite sundress, sitting on the porch reading. He’d sat in his truck, honestly considering driving away when she looked up. Shit. 

She got up, walking over to his truck window, waiting for him to roll it down. “What are you doing here?” 

He sighed, rolling down the window. “Came over to talk to you.” 

“Oh?” She frowned. “Something wrong?” 

He couldn’t- He couldn’t do it. “Do you want to go walk by the creek?” 

“Sure…” Her eyes watched him suspiciously. “Did your dad say something again? You know he’s wrong, baby.” 

This time, he had been right. It killed him, it broke his heart, but he was right. Walking side by side in silence, they sat down by the creek, throwing rocks in haphazardly. “What happened Kayce?” 

He took his hat off, setting it beside him. “We need to break up.” His eyes widened as he said it. 

She hadn’t even reacted crazily. “What did your father say, Kayc?” 

“He didn’t say anything.” His third mistake of the day. “I think it’s best if we-” 

“You do huh?” She laughed. “What happened to yesterday? About being proud of me?” 

“I am proud of you. But-” 

“But what?” 

“You can’t stay here because of me.” 

“I’m not-” 

“Yes, you are!” He stood up, arms flying through the air. “You’re too smart, baby. You know this is a mistake, and you can’t admit it.” 

“It’s not a mistake.” She spoke calmly. He groaned, walking further down the creek. It wasn't until she placed her hand on his shoulder that he turned around. “It’s not just about you, you know. My dad’s getting older, and with Mama gone, I need to take care of him.” 

“Baby… Your father is 54. He’s not old.” 

“Kayce! Just-” She sounded upset. Now he’d done it. “Do you want me to leave?” 

“Yes! Yes, I do!” Her eyes widened, and he stuttered. “Not for the reason you’re thinkin’. Just-” He sighed. “You need to see the world, experience life! You belong out there, not stuck in Montana.” 

“I’m not stuck Kayce! I’m happy. Really happy.”

“And there’s nothing I love more than when you’re happy. But you-“

“You don’t get to decide what I do.” 

“I know that, but my dad-” 

“Oh.” She laughed, crossing her arms. “Oh, so he did say something?” 

“He did. But he wasn’t wrong. You-” He reached out for her hand, surprised when she still let him hold it. “Baby, listen to me. You are beautiful, and kind, and smart, and witty, and you don’t belong here as a rancher’s wife. You belong out there, showing everyone what you can do. I couldn’t bear it if you-”

“A rancher’s wife?” Her voice was small, so small he hardly caught it. 

“Really? That’s what you got from this?” He groaned. “Y/N, are you listening-” 

“I am.” Her voice was hard. “I’m hearing that you think I’m not thinking this through and that your father doesn’t approve. Well, guess what, Dutton? I don’t give two shits what your father thinks. This is my life, and you can’t tell me how to live it.” 

He could only think of one thing, one thing that would get her to leave. His heart fully died as he said it, but it had to be done. “I never loved you.” 

Her whole face had recoiled in shock, and she ripped her hand out of his hold. “What?” 

“You heard me.” He walked around her, grabbing his hat off the ground. “I’ll mail your thing-” 

She grabbed his wrist, pulling him around and looking him square in the eyes. “What is this? Is this some tactic to get me to leave?” She had this horrible ability to see through him.

He shook his head. “No, I just realized that I shouldn’t be wasting your time. Wasn’t trying to hurt you but-” 

Her hand had collided with his cheek before he could think.

“Fuck you Kayce.” 

He watched as she walked back toward the house, tears in his eyes. In part because of that firm slap, but mostly because he’d just torn his own heart in two. He put his hat back on, walking miserably back to his truck. Just as he’d grabbed the door handle, she shoved him, hard. 

“You’re dead to me.” Sobs wrecked through her as she screamed. “I can’t look at you.” 

He’d just let her push him. For a bit, it made him feel better, but when she tried to slap him again, he grabbed her wrists, pulling her close. “Stop, just stop.” 

She wrestled under his hold. “Let go of me!” 

“Baby-”

“Don’t call me that!” Her voice rang through the ranch as she ripped her wrists out of his hold. “Get out of here. I don’t want to see your face again!” 

He nodded, opening the door and starting the truck. Tears streamed down her face as she clung to the door. “We-re not- we’re not really done are we?” 

He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying. “Let go of the truck, Y/N.” 

“Baby- wait-”

He pressed the gas, roaring out of the driveway, leaving her covered in dust. “Shit!” He screamed, his sobs overtaking him. “Fuck!” 

My dear Kayce, 

You never showed up. And now, after looking at the news, I understand why. I hope you don’t lose the ranch, after everything that’s happened there. All the memories we share, all the memories your family built there. 

I don’t believe you will read this letter. I nonetheless, must send you this. 

Kayce, my dear Kayce. 

It was foolish of me to dream that dream. Rancher’s wife? How could I when the rancher doesn’t love me? 

I miss you, and I will always miss you. But you’re right. I cannot live like this. And it seems you cannot live any other way. When I’m with you the world makes sense, but when we are apart I see clearly that your world is not a world from which one can escape. 

I’m so sorry, for everything. For everything I said, and did, and for putting you in that position. There’s a good man within you, Kayce. 

A bad man would have let me stay.

I enclose in this letter, a ring that you gave me. Remember, the ring that you gave me at the rodeo some years ago? I remember.

It’s not because I don’t like it, but because it reminds me too much of you. I hope, by returning it to you, I can be free of you, just like you are of me. 

Goodbye,

Y/N

His shoulders shook as he read the letter. God, she had no idea how wrong she was. He wasn’t free of her, he never would be. But now, things were different. Now, after mere weeks apart, he’d made a mistake, one that was irreversible. 

“Baby? You comin’ back to bed?” 

He turned around, smiling. “I’ll be there in a second Monica.” 

She nodded. “Okay.” She sauntered over, and he quickly wiped the tears from his face. “Don’t be too long.”

“I won’t.” He waited until she left the room to look back at the letter. He walked over to his desk, placing the folded paper carefully in his bottom drawer. He couldn’t bring himself to throw it away, but he couldn’t look at it. Not when he had a family on the way.

taglist:

[thel0ve-ofyourlife]

story of us, and you.

pairings: kayce dutton x wheeler!sister.

summary: (y/n) and kayce’s son, tate wanted a bed time story but the only thing was that he didn’t want to read the books he had. instead, he asks you how you told kayce you were expecting tate.

word count: 1.3k

warnings- pregnancy talk, pregnancy, throwing up, tiny bit of cussing

in case you don’t know:

(y/n)- your name

(e/c)- your eye color

(h/c)- your hair color

(a/n)- authors note

——————————————

as the sun was shining bright on the horizon, the sounds of two horses galloping could be heard. a young girl with (h/c) hair and a young boy with blue eyes, both of them, eighteen were riding on their horses through the field on the dutton land. (y/n) was behind the boy who was ahead of her.

the ride had been silent between the two which wasnt uncommon but kayce and you liked to talk about anything and everything. well, it was more like you while kayce just listened. the two of you were out riding since john dutton wanted the two to check all the fences around the property on ranch.

(y/n) and kayce dutton had been best friends since the day john dutton brought you and your brother, rip to his home. you two had grown a bond that was unmatched to anyone else and eventually overtime, you guys had fallen in love with one another. they were too scared to admit their feelings to one another.

"kayce!" (y/n) called out from behind him. "kayce, slow down." she called out again as she caught up to him. "what is your problem?" the girl with (h/c) asked him, staring at him with her (e/c) eyes.

kayce was in his own world until his best friend started to call out his name. he glanced over with his blue eyes. "what? i was trying to enjoy my peace and quiet ‘til you started yellin’ my name."

"well, why are you ridin’ ahead and ignorin’ me?" you questioned, humming out to her best friend and crush. "because i can do what i want. i don’t have to talk if i dont want to." he stated out with an annoyed tone.

"you don’t have to be like that, kace. it was just a question. nevermind then, i'll just leave you alone." (y/n) said with an upset tone before galloping away from him on her horse to give him some space.

kayce’s gaze lingered on her as she rode away from him. he felt so stupid. he was trying to push her away so he didn’t hurt her since he was leaving soon for the navy. the boy was planning to go into the navy soon after high school to get away from his father’s ranch for awhile.

before (y/n) could get to far away, he was making his way to her on his horse. "this girl is going to be the death of me.." he muttered as he finally caught up to her.

you were off your horse and you had started to walk around the fenced area looking to see if any of the wood had rotted or had been broken.

"listen, i’m sorry.." he started to say before he noticed that she had walked away from him and over to a tree nearby to throw up.

is she okay? he wondered as he walked over. he sighed quietly as he held your hair back so it wouldn’t mix into the puke and get covered in the contents from your stomach. he looked away out towards their horses to not make her feel as embarrassed than you were probably already feeling.

when you were done, (y/n) wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand and stood up so she was facing him. her (e/c) eyes looking away from him. kayce tucked a strand hair behind her ear, looking down on the girl he had fallen in love with him.

"you feelin’ alright?” he was worried about her. more like.. terrified. he loved (y/n) more than anything even if he couldn’t admit it and he was very overprotective of you.

"well, i uhm.. i wanted to talk to you about that, kace." (y/n)murmured softly, looking back at him. your hands started to shake slightly. kayce noticed and took ahold of her hands. "talk to me." his blue eyes stuck on hers, with only love showing through.

"you make it so hard to talk to you when you look at me like that, kayce." the (h/c) girl began to confess what was going on with her.

six weeks ago, there was a party for seniors to end the year off since graduation was upon them. you two had went together since well, you were best friends. you guys had one too many drinks at this party. you ended up sleeping together.

"i’m pregnant." (y/n) whispered ever so quietly, gulping. her (e/c) eyes moving to look down at the ground. kayce’s hand pulled away from hers to rake his hand through his hair. that made you afraid. what was kayce thinking?

it felt like the air had been sucked out of kayce when he heard that. his heart was racing at her confession. you were pregnant?

"i’m so sorry.. i didn’t know how to tell you and i’ve only known for a few days. i had to go to my doctor to confirm and my brother doesn’t know and you don’t have to-"

(y/n) was caught off of her rambling by him smashing his lips against her. you hummed into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck while his hands rested on hers waist.

when the two pulled away, their eyes met and a smile formed itself onto her face. "that’s a uh- good way to shut me up." he chuckled softly at your words, smiling down at the girl he had fallen for.

"yeah, i should have done that whenever you ramble, huh?" he teased softly which landed him a light slap him on the chest. "oh, shut up.."

"make me.." he murmured to which she leaned up on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his pink lips. she pulled away and asked,

"so.. you- you’re okay with this though?" a laugh escaped his lips, shaking his head. "darlin, yes, i’m fine with this.. this might not be planned and we are pretty young but I’m not going to abandon you or this child, alright?"

"alright." his best friend said softly, nodding her head at his words. her dimples popping out when she smiled at him.

"and so, that’s how i told your daddy that i was expecting you, tate." six years had passed now and they had a little boy who they named tate.

you and kayce started to date not long after she told him she was pregnant. his dad was not happy that he had gotten her knocked up.

her brother, rip was going to tear kayce to shreds when he found out the news but his sister calmed him down after awhile. and after a year, the two got married with their little three month old by their sides.

a/n: hi! so this is my first story that i’ve published ever. so it probably isn’t the best! but i thought i would take a leap of faith and post one of my stories. there are mistakes in this so if you see any, let me know and i can fix it! if you have any suggestions too, please let me know!! i really hope that you enjoy this and i hope you have an amazing day:).

[frenchcurious]

Dutton Reef 2WD 2021. - source Car & Classic.

[twinghoulites]

I don't deserve this

[englishcarssince1946]

1994 Dutton Mariner

My tumblr blogs:

www.tumblr.com/germancarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/frenchcarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/englishcarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/italiancarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/japanesecarssince1947 & www.tumblr.com/uscarssince1935 & www.tumblr.com/swedishcarssince1946

[lgbtqreads]

August 2024 Deal Announcements

Adult Fiction Mary E. Roach‘s WE ARE THE MATCH, pitched as a sapphic reimagining of the Helen of Troy myth set in modern-day mobster Greece, in which Helen is the daughter of a powerful crime lord and Paris is the woman hell-bent on destroying her—if they don’t fall for each other first, to Lauren Plude at Montlake, for publication in summer 2025, by Claire Friedman at Inkwell Management…

[unsolicited-opinions]

"...their concern for Jews appears to me to be confected and self-serving...they have created an imaginary caricature of Jewish people to push their own political agenda. They use us as political footballs to stoke division, spread Islamophobia, attack the [liberal] party and push anti-immigration policies. In doing so, they make Jews less safe."

So, Dutton and the GOP seem to be using the same playbook.

Go read @emotionalsupportgolem here.

[boobasprite]

[raven-dor]

when i picture you

in which kayce dutton sees his childhood sweetheart after sixteen years…

PAIRING: kayce dutton x fem!reader

WARNINGS: ANGST ANGST ANGST, awkwardness, CRAZY amounts of yearning, cussing, arguing, regret, did i mention angst?

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

🎶 : when i picture you - chappell roan

AN: i do not endorse holding onto first loves, it's crazy and will only hurt you and everyone else in your life in the process!! THIS IS THE SECOND PART OF IM TOO SCARED TO SAY!!

“A call for you.” 

“Thank you, James. Did they say what it’s regarding?” 

He shook his head. “He just kept asking for you. I told him you don’t take unscheduled calls, but he… he said that you were old friends.” 

Y/N's heart dropped. He had some nerve, to call her after all this time. After pushing her away. 

“Would you like me to transfer them?” 

“That would be great, thank you.” 

“Alright. He’s on line one.” 

She took a deep breath, picking up the phone. “Y/N Y/L/N, partner of Phillips and Y/L/N, how can I-” 

“Y/N.” 

Her eyes widened, ignoring the feeling of disappointment building. “Mr. Dutton?” 

“I told you-” He coughed. “Call me John.” Yes, he had told her that. He’d told her that sixteen years ago. “I need you back at the ranch.” 

“Sir…” Her heart fluttered even thinking about Kayce. “After the way I left, I don’t know if that’s wise. Besides, I can’t just-” 

“Your boss is an old friend of mine.” She’d almost laughed. He still walked over her like it was nothing. “I already talked to him, everything’s taken care of.” 

“Well, that’s wonderful. If you don’t mind me asking, why haven’t you asked Jamie? He’s your current lawyer, correct?”

She and Jamie had always had a kinship; leaving Montana and going to law school so close allowed them to become closer than they ever had while at home.

“Jamie’s no longer on speaking terms.” 

“I see.” She squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t even imagine what shit they’d gotten into in the nearly twenty years she’d been gone, and she didn’t want to. Unfortunately, it looked as if she had no choice. “When would you like me there?” 

The sunset was magical, perfection in her opinion. While she’d fallen for the New York skyline, Montana’s view had been her first love. Montana held a lot of her first loves, actually. 

She walked through the arrival gate, smiling when she met Beth’s eyes. They’d never gotten along, but it was nice to see a familiar face after so long.

Beth looked as if she felt the same, smiling as Y/N hugged her quickly. “Little Y/N.” 

“Beth. How are you?” 

“Just dandy. Daddy’s dead, and I’m playing chauffeur.” 

“I-” He just called her, what did she mean he was dead? She frowned. “I’m so sorry Beth.” 

“He knew what he was doing, calling you. It's very impressive; the career you’ve built for yourself.” 

“Thank you.” She felt wrong smiling after learning the news. “I assume we’re going back to the ranch.” 

Beth nodded. “While we have it.” 

“What?” Beth turned around, and Y/N chased after her. “What do you mean, while you have it?”

The car ride had been quiet, not that she minded. Her flight had been full of crying babies and annoying passengers, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to Beth for an hour and a half.

Her breath caught as the lodge came into view; all her memories from the first 18 years of her life came flooding back, along with the realization that she would be seeing Kayce sooner rather than later. “How is he?”

“You know how he is. Pissy, but fine.” 

She didn’t know him anymore, that was the thing. She’d loved him for so long, and now he was just a figment of her imagination, a stranger. “Has he-” 

“Miss Y/N?” She looked out the window, grinning as she threw the door open, practically jumping into the man’s arms.

“Lloyd! Look at you.” She felt like a kid again. “You haven’t changed a bit.” 

“You have. All grown up now.” He smiled. “All the Montana’s left you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” 

Beth whistled, drawing her attention away from the stable hand. “I- I’ll see you around.” 

“Well, I hope so.” 

She grinned, kissing him on the cheek quickly. “You can bet on it.” 

Being here, it felt like she was transported back to 2007. It was like a museum, exactly as she’d left it, imagined it in her mind whenever she got homesick. The fire was still going, even though it was late July. 

Beth pulled her from her thoughts, walking further into the house. “You hungry?” 

“Not real-” 

“Don’t worry, he’s not here.” Ah. So Beth was aware. She even looked almost sorry for her. “I can have Gator warm up some leftovers.” 

“That sounds perfect, thank you.”

Beth looked tired, more tired than Y/N had ever seen her before. Normally, the ginger was a ball of energy, well, more like a bomb of energy, waiting for her fuse to be lit. Still, it was odd seeing a spitfire dimmed to a mere spark. “How have you been, since all of this?” 

“Fine. As fine as I can be.” She poured herself a drink, and Y/N ignored the fact it was only 2 in the afternoon. “I have a plan.” 

There was the Beth she knew. “I knew you would.” 

“Gator!” Beth called out. 

“Yes, ma’am-” The man’s eyes lit up, and he walked over. “Miss Y/N!” 

“Gator!” She stood from her seat, hugging him tightly. “It’s good to see you.” 

“You too.” He smiled. “Can I-” 

Beth cleared her throat. “Could you warm her some leftovers?” 

“Anything. Anything at all. Would you like a chocolate milkshake? Just a hint of coffee?” 

Her heart melted, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “You remembered.” 

“Of course.” Beth raised an eyebrow, and Gator nodded, walking back out of the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.” 

Y/N waited until the chef had left before looking at Beth. “Why am I here, Beth?” 

“Getting straight to business. What happened to little Y/N?” 

“Just wondering why your father called me days before his death to come back home.” She crossed her arms. “I feel like I’m missing something.” 

At that comment, Beth had cackled. “You have no idea.”

“What’s going on-” 

The front door creaked open, and Beth smiled. “In here, baby.” 

Maybe business could wait until later. Y/N smirked. “Baby?” 

Beth nodded. “Baby.” 

“I’m assuming baby is Rip then.” Y/N wiggled her eyebrows. “You two were always-” 

“Y/N?” 

She froze. Beth’s normal smirk grew tenfold, taking another sip of her bourbon. “Reunions are so fun, don’t you think?” 

“Y/N is that you?” 

She forced herself to stand up, turning around. “Kayce.” 

He was smiling, which she was surprised by. “It’s been a while.” 

She swallowed, nodding. “Yeah, it has.” 

Beth groaned. “God, can one of you just address it?” 

“Address what?”

She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. Y/N felt deeply insecure just being in the same room as her. She was effortlessly perfect, and the way she looked at Kayce- God, she was wearing a ring. Her head started to spin, grabbing the counter to center herself. Kayce’s eyes widened, and he stepped forward, reaching an arm out. “You okay?” 

She nodded, god that was all she could do right now. “I’m-” 

“Dad, who’s this?” 

Dad? She pulled her eyes from Kayce’s taking in the teenager that stood in front of her. He had to be fifteen, or sixteen years old. Just around how long she’d- pulling her arm out of Kayce’s hold, she fixed her blazer and cleared her throat. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to unpack.” 

“Y/N-” 

“Excuse me.”

Kayce waited until she’d gone upstairs to glare at his sister. “What the hell, Beth?” 

“What?” 

“Why is she here?” 

Monica looked lost. “Who is she, exactly?” 

“Yeah, Kayce,” Beth smirked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Who is she?” 

“Beth, what did you do?” 

“Oh, I didn’t do anything. This-” She waved her finger around in the air. “Is all Daddy’s doing.” 

“What do you mean-” 

“I mean, Dad called her before he died, and asked her to come back to the ranch.” 

She grabbed the first Carhartt jacket she’d seen, pulling it closer as she walked toward the stables. She couldn’t stay in the lodge any longer, knowing that Kayce and his wife and son were there. It was a hard reminder of what she could’ve had, what she should’ve had if Kayce hadn’t broken her heart that day. 

The stable was warm, the perfect respite from the cold of the afternoon air. Her eyes gazed at the names on the stall doors, desperately hoping one horse was still there from her time. JR. 

She pushed the door open, grinning as the horse almost immediately recognized her. “Hey, JR.” 

The horse nickered, rubbing its snout against her palm. “Wanna go on a ride?” 

She showed no sign of protest as Y/N removed her shawl, tightened the saddle, and led her out of the barn. “I’ve missed you, you know.” The horse just stared into the distance. “You’re an old girl now, aren’t you?” At that comment, the horse visibly protested, and Y/N laughed for the first time since her arrival. Hooking her foot in the stirrup, she hoisted herself up, petting JR’s side gently. “Let’s get out of here, huh?” 

She should’ve never came back, she thought to herself. She should have never rode out here either, without anything to protect herself with. She could hear the wolves howling in the distance, but she couldn’t find it in her to leave.

If she left she would have to see Kayce again. He was just as perfect as the day she’d left him, although, she laughed to herself, he finally grew that beard he’d always wanted. 

“Well look at that.” 

She’d thought she was going crazy for a second, but his voice was unmistakeable. She made no movement to turn around, she couldn’t look at him without going crazy. 

Kayce laughed, carefully approaching her until they were face to face. There went her plan of not looking at him. “I thought I’d find you here.” 

She scoffed. “I came here for some solace, Dutton.” 

“Oh, I’m Dutton now?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I don’t think your wife and child would enjoy me calling you pet names, now would they?” She retorted, enjoying his shocked expression. “Just leave me alone.” 

“Can’t do that, now can I?” 

“Yeah,” she jutted her hip. “And why’s that?” 

“So much catchin’ up to do.” His smile peaked through, and she fought the blush she knew was growing on her cheeks. He had this horrible effect on her after all these years. “Why’d you come here?” 

“I think you know why.” She glared as hard hard as she could at him, sitting beside the creek. Kayce got a horrible sense of deja vu as he watched her, but he continued on, sitting right beside her. “Are you happy?” 

He nodded. “I am.” 

She smiled. “That’s good. Really good Kayce.” 

He ignored how his heart fluttered when she said his name. “And you?” 

“I’ve been better.” 

“You got anyone?” 

She laughed, actually laughed. “No one’s interested.”

“Well, they’re missing out.” 

She looked over, blushing when she realized he’d been staring at her the entire time. “What are you doing, Kayc?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“What is this? Why can’t we just- let’s just not talk to each other.” She stood up, dusting off her pants. “Just pretend we never knew each other. Okay?” 

He sat there in shock for a moment, before following after her. “No.” 

“No?” She whipped around, and he almost smiled at the fire that blazed in her eyes. There she was, the girl he knew. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.” He stepped toe to toe with her. “I can’t go on like this any longer. I lost you sixteen years ago, and now that you’re back, I can’t do it again.”

“Yes, you can.” She nodded. “You can, because you have a whole life now. You can’t just leave because I came back once.” 

“Well, then what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to be the good man you’ve always been.” Her heart broke as she said it. “That woman loves you, and your son would never forgive you. I know it.” 

“What about the letter?” 

“It- That was a goodbye letter. It was meant for closure.” 

He laughed. “Well shit. It didn’t work, because all I’ve thought about for years was that letter.” He grabbed her hand, holding it over his heart. “It haunts me.” 

“I can’t do this, Kayce. You can’t do this.” Her voice was small. “You have a family, a son. Who suspiciously-” She laughed humourlessly, feeling like a broken record at this point. “Is about as old as how long I’ve been gone.” 

“You can’t- you can’t be mad at me for that! You told me I was dead to you, that you couldn’t even look at me-” 

“Well, you told me you didn’t love me!” She yelled. “What was I supposed to say? Alright with me. Fine? You’re a real bastard, Kayce Dutton.” 

“Well, shit, baby-” His eyes widened. “I couldn’t have you settlin’ for me-” 

“Well, it looks like your life went pretty well. Wouldn’t you say?” Tears were now streaming down her face. “By the way, fuck you for taking that away from me.” 

She whipped around, stalking toward her horse. He yelled at her disappearing figure. “That’s my coat you got on!” 

She gasped, pulling it off as if it was on fire. “Take it!” He stood there in shock, good. Served him right. Walking up to the tree she’d tied JR to, she pulled the reigns loose, walking her out of the woods. 

Kayce sighed, walking after her. “Come on. You’ll freeze without it.” 

“I don’t-” 

He grabbed it, trying to put it back on her frame. “Just-” 

“Kayce, stop!” She shoved him away, getting on the saddle. “Leave me alone.” Not even bothering to wait for his reply, she kicked JR’s side, sending her into a full gallop. 

“Y/N!” Kayce kicked the dirt, jumping up on his horse and following after her. “Goddamit.” 

JR was old, there was no doubt about it, but she was fast, and Kayce was struggling to catch up to her. “Just slow down, let’s talk-” 

“I swear to god-” She groaned, urging JR to run a little faster. “C’mon girl, just a little faster.” 

He reached out, grinning when her reigns laid in his hands. He pulled, and JR slowed down to a slow walk, much to Y/N’s dismay. She jumped off the horse, stalking up the hill. 

“Stop running!” 

She scoffed. “I should stop running?” 

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” He barked back. “Goddamit, you won’t even look at me for more than a few seconds.” 

“Do you blame me?” Tears were still falling down her cheeks. “You broke my heart, Kayce. Broke it completely in two. Excuse me for being erratic. You can’t just tell a girl you imagine her as your wife one day and then break up with her the next!” 

“We could have never had that!” He yelled. “You had too much potential, and I love you too much- I loved you too much to hold you back in life. I belong here, and you belong out there.”

“For the last time, you don’t get to decide that for me. I am a grown woman, Kayce John Dutton.” She pinched her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “I swear to god, that argument didn’t hold up 20 years ago, and it doesn’t hold up now.” 

"I was right, wasn't I? Look at the career you've built."

"I never wanted that. I wanted you!" She practically hissed at him. "You’re a coward. That’s what you are.” 

“Oh yeah?” He scoffed. “I’m the coward? You're the coward, returning your ring. Writing that ‘goodbye’ letter!” 

A sob wrecked through her. “It’s over, Kayce. It’s been over for sixteen years.” 

“NO!” His voice rang through the valley. “It’s not over. It’ll never be over.” 

“Kayce-” 

“Baby-” 

“Dont! Don’t call me that.” She pushed at his chest. “Just leave me alone-” 

“I can’t.” He whispered, holding her wrists gently. “All because of that goddamned letter.” 

“Get rid of it then if it 'haunts' you.” She leaned her head against his chest, tiring out. “I should have never come back.”

“Don’t say that.” 

“I mean it. You were right, when you pushed me away. We would have torn each other apart. We would have-” 

“No, we wouldn’t have. We would have been happy-” 

“Kayce!” She sobbed. “Just stop it. Stop the ‘would’ve,’ it’s not going to help either of us.” Reaching up, she pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Can you promise me something?” 

“Anything.” His voice sounded desperate. 

“Don’t think about me anymore. Love your wife, love her properly, without me in your mind.” 

“I-” His face looked positively heartbroken. “Why?” 

“You married her Kayce, not me! In the grand scheme of things, I was just a high school girlfriend. You have a whole life with her. I will not-” She hiccuped. “I will not be a homewrecker.” 

“I- I can’t.” 

“Yes you can.” She smiled through the tears. “Because you’re a good man, Kayce Dutton.” 

“I-” 

“Swear to me.” 

“I-” He sighed, kissing the inside of her hand that still lingered on his cheek. “I swear to you.” 

“Good.” She nodded, forcing herself to smile. “Now guide me back to the ranch. I’m lost.” 

“Of course you are.” He laughed, still standing in place, relishing in her touch for the first time in sixteen years. “I missed you.” 

“Stop.” She shook her head. “You swore.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” He muttered. “Let’s go back home, yeah?” Holding her hand in his, he walked them back down the hill, their horses waiting diligently at the bottom. 

“What’s her name?” Her voice was a whipser, he had barely heard it.

“Monica.” 

“She’s beautiful.” 

He smiled, nodding. “Yeah, she is.” 

“And your son?” She sounded like she was holding back tears. “What’s he like?” 

“Reserved. Kind. Loves horses.” 

She laughed. “Just like his father.” 

“Nah.” Kayce shook his head, hoisting her up on JR’s back. “He’s like his mother.” 

Y/N had left two days after that, figuring out his father’s will and saying her goodbyes in record time. She’d shook his hand, when she left. It almost made him laugh, their last interaction was a handshake. 

She’d smiled at Monica, saying niceties. When she looked at Tate, her eyes softened, and Kayce's heart almost broke all over again. “You’re a lucky kid.” 

Tate had laughed. “Thank you?” 

“Take care of your parents, yeah? You only get two of them.” 

Monica smiled. “You should listen to her.” 

Beth yelled out from the car. “You coming?” 

That was the last he’d seen of her. The first love of his life. He’d tried hard to keep her promise, but she was everywhere. She was in the letter, in the ring that lay on the chain holding his dog tags. The ring that got him through his tour.

“Kayc?” Monica called out. “You coming in? Dinner’s ready?” 

“Yeah, baby.” He smiled, tucking his dog tags back in his shirt. “I’m coming.”

taglist:

[lolitastories]

NOT A CHAPTER

Chapter 20:

“Are you sure about this?” I shake my head no. I am not sure about this or many other things but when I think of that one thing, it makes everything feel right. “You could always do it here at the ranch. I can tell all the workers to leave for as long as yall need” Rip bumped my shoulder with his and the glare I gave him set him back right again. “Sorry. Have to be careful with your state nowadays”

“Shut up or I am revoking your rights” he lifts his hands in defeat. “Plus it's still not set in stone until Kayce says yes” I turn around noticing Rip wasn’t following beside me anymore.

“So I am doing this for nothing?” I laugh looking at his stupid expression as he holds the last pieces I needed to finish what I had planned for Kayce.

“Your love for me should be enough” I continued walking knowing he would follow eventually. “It's not even that far away either” I roll my eyes looking at the distance. It is far but I wasn’t going to admit it knowing he would offer to ride the horse down to the water.

“You know what I just realized?” I don’t turn or respond knowing he would just continue talking. “Recently you have been letting yourself go” I stop at the remark, turning to look over at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” My eyebrow rised and a hand on my hip.

“Not in a bad way” My head turns a little to the side still waiting for him to continue. “You came down here with a wardrobe and it has gradually changed and it's good on you” I was still waiting. “You looked great before and it was what you were used to, do you like what it is now? You used to say you would never get used to this and how it wouldn’t look good on you” ah.

“Things changed Rip” I shrug, turning around to continue walking. “I certainly never saw myself staying in a place like this. I was born in the country but my heart always belonged to the city. A place where people don’t sleep. As early as 5 in the morning people are already out and about. You don’t need cars because you turn a corner and everything you need is there. But things change. I was never afraid to get myself dirty. I had boundaries and now it has expanded. Kayce made me love this place even more and settling here is what I crave more than anything now”

“Love changes you” I burst out laughing shaking my head. “Yes, big guy. Love does change you” Beth has certainly done a number on him since they got officially together. Before he could ask I left him with a bigger question in his head. “When are you two going to get hitched?”

“That's personal” I rolled my eyes.

“Aww. Is Rip the big bad wolf getting nervous?” I chuckle setting down what I had on the floor.

“I pick my timing. It's not time yet” He lowered his voice and I nod understandingly. What Beth and Rip has gone through hasn’t been easy and now that they are together, they aren’t rushing it.

“Alright big guy. Last trip.” I smile walking back to the ranch. By the time we reached the ranch it was 10 past 6.

“I will go ahead and take the last thing there and I will be on my way”

“Thanks” I smiled heading to the main house. I walk in seeing Beth, Tate, and John sitting in the living room talking. “Hey” I smile at them before taking a seat.

“I heard you’re doing something special for my little brother” Tate stands in attendance curious when he hears his dad mentioned.

“Something like that” I smile leaning further into the seat. I didn’t tell them what I was doing purposely. “I felt like it was my turn to do something for him. I know I am no romantic but I better up my beat if I don’t want to lose him”

“Trust that boy won’t leave unless he is ripped away from you” We laugh hearing the front door open.

“Can we have a talk in my office for a minute?” I look over at John and nod. We both stand heading to his office. I look back noticing it was Kayce walkingt through the doors. I leave him with a smile before walking into John’s office and closing the door. I turn around and take a seat before eyeing the folder he was sliding across his desk.

“Can you talk to me?” When John found out about Kayce and I, it wasn’t a pretty ride. It took months before he could even turn to look at me. But of course like a true Dutton he came to find me when he needed a lawyer who knew how he liked things done. I didn’t deny him since I owned him for everything I was. I still wasn’t going to stay if he didn't do something bad against me because I am still a person. But since then we have been getting closer and closer. He leans forward resting his elbows on his desk.

“When I saw you on my land years ago I wanted to do what I do with everyone else” Get rid of them one way or another. “I wanted to, but that was until I looked into your eyes. Scared. Alone. Broken. I saw that look constantly in my kids” They have had their share of it. “When I decided to bring you in I was going to make you a cowboy but I knew with those clothes you wouldn’t last a minute” I laughed knowing he was right. “You gave so much prospect to someone who belongs in a place like this.” He stands up reaching around the desk to lean against it infront of me. “And one day when I saw you and Kayce speaking. I saw the conversation unfold and it was like seeing two old people '' I furrowed my brows unsure on where he was going with this. “I didn’t want anyone messing with his future since he left. I wanted him to learn when he decided to leave this land that he wasn’t going to get better.” Tingles in my legs start moving all over my body. “I knew you being here would change his mind” I stood up and was a little dumbfounded.

“So you paid for my schooling to teach Kayce a lesson?” This has to be a cruel skit. I don’t know why I was angry. I believe in things happening in the right time so I wasn’t angry at the missed opportunity to be with Kayce years ago, I was upset that I was part of a lesson.

“You have to understand that back then you were just a little girl who came into our lives. A chess piece” I let out a frustrated chuckle shaking my head. “Since that day I saw the attraction between you two and my eyes were blinded with anger to see Kayce just give up”

“Wasn’t that what you wanted years ago? It would have made him come to his knees and beg you to come back” I sigh letting the upsetness defuse. I go to take a seat again. “What is your point in telling me all of this?” He takes the folder and places it on my lap as he kneels infront of me.

“I wanted you to know everything. You are about to be family although I considered you family for a long time "I look up in disbelief. “I was telling the truth when I told you, you are better than this place. You were already broken and this place would finish breaking you but when I saw how Kayce helped you and how you helped him I realized you two are strong enough for eachother to stay together.” He moves to open the file and reveal papers that needed signatures. “And for it to work properly with no further headaches I need you not to be attached to us professionally.”

“You’re firing me?” I was shocked.

“I need you to make your own choice. If you want to continue with the Dutton Ranch you are more welcome but if you decide not to, you are still part of this family regardless” I smile nodding my head.

“Either way I am here to stay” I close the folder and throw it on the desk. “You will be receiving an updated contract in a couple of days. I can’t let my number 1 client go” I smile standing up.

“Send it to my lawyer” He smiled gently, motioning me to follow him to the door. He stopped me by my arm as soon as I tried to open the door. “Thank you” I only smiled at his words, nodding before I left towards the living room.

“Is everything okay?” I nod going over towards Kayce and wrapping my arms around him.

“Everything is fine.” I look outside seeing the sun setting. “But nothing will be for what I have planned if we don’t leave right now” It was already past 6 so I was running behind schedule.

“You know you can’t get rid of me right?” I nudged him a bit as we walked down the path.

“Not like I have an option now” He furrowed his brows looking confused at my comment. I hold up my hand. “I would have to return the ring and it's too pretty” I smile, grabbing onto his forearm.

“So all it took was a pretty ring” I shrug

“Yeah! You put a ring that sparkles in front of a girl and a man with pretty eyes and they would fall to their knees in a second”

“I didn’t have to put a ring in front of you to get you on your knees those other times” I turned around shocked.

“Shut up” I slap his arm pushing him away. “And for your information I wasn’t as happy those other times” I cross my arms and speed walk to get to the destination faster.

“You seemed pretty eager” I try my best not to chuckle as I feel him wrap his arms around me making us tumble a bit until he caught balance.

“Yeah well, I was pretending. It helps the moment” I look away. I hear his low chuckle and his head falls inbetween my neck. I almost melt to the touch of his lips placing careful kisses.

“Baby,We both know that is a lie but.” He grabs on to my jaw making me look at him. “If you don’t like it, I am more than happy to be the one on my knees all the time” I held on to what I could but my legs were functioning less and less as he pulled me closer.

“If you don’t stop we won’t get to the surprise” I whisper as he hover over my lips. I want him to kiss me. Just like a couple hours ago.

“Alright” He sighs. I cursed at myself. I wanted him to see the surprise I had for him but the feeling for him was stronger. “Ready?” I nodded with my eyes closed trying to take a deep breath in and suddenly those strong feelings slowly started turning to sadness. “Are you okay?” He cups my face as I try my hardest to hold in the tears. “My love, talk to me” I shake my head as I tried to speak but no words came out. I feel his arms pull me into a hug and that is when the tears start to spill. “Whatever it is we promised to talk about it and figure it out together” I feel a kiss on my head before he pulls me in closer. “If you are not up for it can we go back? I won’t be disappointed” I lift up my head to look at him shaking my head no. He goes to remove the hair that was now sticking to my face due to the tears. “You sure?” I worked too hard on this and it was something important to not due today because if I wait any longer I will die.

“Am sure” I grabbed his hand and removed myself from him and continued on walking. “Am okay” I say, feeling his eyes on me. “I don’t understand my emotions right now but I can tell you that showing you your surprise will make me feel much better” I look back sending him a smile and pull him closer so I could wrap myself in his arm.

“Baby-”

“Shh” I quickly quieted him seeing the lights lit up. Fairy light hanging around the closest trees. A blanket on the floor with pillows just like he set up for me. But with the exception of something big in the middle of the set up.

“You got me a horse?” I laugh seeing his expression. His small smile with confusion trying to be nice to me. I grab on to his hand and pull him forward. “Baby?-” I roll my eyes walking around the young horse and pull the rag around his neck so Kayce would see it. I lift my eyebrows trying to give him a hint to go on and read what it said. As he walks forward I walk around to move behind him. I wait and I wait for a good 5 minutes.

“Kayce?” The humor in his reaction soon became anxiousness. I was worried to look at what reaction he had to the words. I took a step forward but soon froze as he turned to look at me.

“You are not joking with me right?” I shake my head quickly. “Because if this is a joke, it’s one cruel one” Soon I was on the verge of crying again.

“It's not a joke Kayce” I walk forward taking his hands and placing it on my stomach. “This is real”

“A baby?” A smile finally appeared in his face allowing the stress and fear to slip right off my shoulders.

“Our baby” I smiled bigger, pulling his eyes to look at me.

“Our baby” He connects our lips for a short second before wrapping his arms around me. “You are having our baby” I laugh feeling even happier than when I found out. “A baby,” He whispers, still holding on to me. “Really?” He pushes me back carefully to look at my face.

“Yes Kayce. I confirmed it with the doctors last week”

“You went to the doctor without me?” I roll my eyes laughing at his sadness.

“I just went to confirm there was a baby. I promise, you didn’t miss anything that important. You will be invited to further doctors appointment when it really counts”

“I better be. That's my baby in there.”

“Sure is Cowboy.” I smile grabbing onto his face to pull himin for a kiss but he takes them off but doesn’t let go. He only pulls me around so my back is now leaning against his chest.

“How are you feeling about it?” I sigh. I was content. There was nobody else I would rather do this with. He is caring and respected my wishes to wait until I was ready. Truthfully when the positive test came I forgot how to breathe. Tears came and I fell to the floor crying. It felt like hours before I could stand up and take another test to make sure. Once that one came out positive too, that was when the tears were happy tears. Saying I wanted to have a baby was one thing. Knowing it actually is happening and now it's a reality, it stomps you. “I can’t lie and say I was 100 percent ready. My heart stopped and all the confusion and uncertainty came to mind.” He rubs my hands and arms listening to me. “But then I came to feel happy. I realized that I wouldn’t be doing this alone. This baby is going to have a wonderful father” I look up smiling at Kayce. “A crazy family”

“Yeah they can count on that” I laugh.

“You forgot to mention me!” We looked out to the darkness as now the sun had gone down and the only light was from the fairy lights.

“Tate?! What are you doing out here?” We looked left and right and didn’t see any small figure.

“Oops” I hold in my giggle looking over to Kayce. “Forget I am here!” That was when I lost it.

“He is part of this. I felt it wouldn’t be right without him here” I whisper. “But he was supposed to come way later when the food arrived” Kayce smiles. “You can come out bud” We turn our heads hearing footsteps.

“Did I mess it up?” He came out shyly towards us.

“Of course not” I motioned him to come closer. “Do you want to tell him about that” I point at the horse.

“Yeah!” He takes Kayces hand and starts pulling him. “I picked it all by myself for my baby!” I smiled hearing him call the baby his. Of course I had to tell Tate about the baby. Well truthfully I had no other choice. I was in the bathroom for too long. He came to check on me. He wasn’t oblivious when I told him the test was a thermostat. Since that day he has been calling the baby his baby and I couldn’t be more happy about his reaction. I smiled at Kayce who looked back as Tate ran around the horse telling him how he is going to prepare and train the horse for the baby. As Kayce turns his attention to Tate again I tell myself this is what I needed. I needed someone like Kayce to come into my life. So I could love and be loved and getting Tate is a bonus.

[ericaand]

i am so sorry for the comment i left, i was jus too excited!! no seriously though, i apologize. but since your taking requests for Kayce Dutton…

I would love it if you could write a bsfs to lovers??

Like maybe reader grew up on the ranch with the Duttons bc she had some connection to one of the ranch hands or jus was bsfs with one of the Dutton siblings so she became Kayces bsf. Maybe he and Monica split up or they were never together (you decide) and maybe some SERIOUS AMAZING TENSION WITH THE BEST LOVE CONFESSION😍

again, thank you! and i’ll keep requesting as long as this writers block is here bc i need me and love me some Kayce!!

Seriously had a ton of fun writing this. Enjoy, and send MORE! Please.

Pairing: Kayce Dutton x Fem!Reader

Words: Almost 2k.

Warnings: slight mentions of blood. underage alcohol use. That's about it.

"You know, I hate how much I care about you." Kayce's eyes burn into yours, scanning from right to left continually.

He balls his hand into a fist and speaks through clenched teeth, "Because I know..."

He pauses, loosens his stance, and hangs his head sighing, "I shouldn't."

Earlier that day:

Driving down the familiar driveway, you began to reminisce on all the time you spent on the ranch as a child. With each spin of your tires, the car filled with dust; the smell taking you back to a time when things were easy, and playing with boys was just that: playing.

You hadn't returned to the ranch since your best friends, Kayce and Monika, married. It was too much. Too much pain. Too much hurt. Too much love.

In fact, you weren't even sure you could consider them your best friends anymore. Now, they were each other's best friend. And you? You were just the third wheel now. Sure, you talk to Monika on occasion, mostly through texting. But even that hadn't happened in months. There hasn't been any contact with Kayce at all. Except for the occasional grocery store visit. But even then, it's not like it used to be. Your hellos now feel hollow. But at least the goodbyes don't hurt as much anymore.

You weren't really sure what to expect when you got to the ranch. You knew John and Beth, and Rip would probably be happy to see you; you never really saw them at all anymore. The ranch hands were always fun to spend time with. But now, it feels different. Now, the childhood magic has drifted away, not just from the ranch but from you.

You continue to drive, spotting the tall white silo. Instantly, you're envisioning three little kids chasing after each other, round and round the silo. The side of your mouth curves into a smirk.

You put it in park and take a deep breath, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. When you've conjured up enough courage, you step out and make your way toward the corral. Your steps are slow, hands in your back pockets, head down; until you hear someone yell.

"Y/N! That you?"

You look up to see Rip, slowly trotting over to you with a smile. You tilt your head and smile with a shrug.

"Well, I'll be damned! If it ain't little Y/N." He swings his leg around the horse and graciously hops down. He wraps his arms around you, as you wrap yours around his waist.

He grips your shoulders and pushes you away from himself. "Let me get a good look at ya." He clicks his tongue a few times as he shakes his head.

"You look just like your momma. Beautiful. Whatcha doin' here, kid?"

"Well, looks like you and your boys are obviously starving." You say sarcastically, waving your hand toward the horse corral. "You're lookin at the new Dutton Ranch chef. John called me a while back and asked if I could come help out while Gator was away. I couldn't turn it down. I mean, who says no to John?"

"I sure as hell don't." Rip lets out a quick breath. "See ya later, kid. Can't wait for dinner. I always miss your mommas cooking."

You make your way to the house slowly, letting the wind flow through your hair. You stop dead in your tracks when you spot the small circle of Adirondack chairs in the front yard.

You recall it being the last weekend of summer, all those years ago. A soda bottle filled with whiskey from John's stash was being passed around between the three of you. The fire gently lights the faces of your friends. All that was heard was the crackling, the laughter, and the crickets.

"Dance with me?" The boy with dusty blonde hair reached his hand out to you. You took his hand as he delicately helped you out of your chair.

You draped your arms over his shoulders, as you began to sway slowly. Although the musk of whiskey was strong, you could smell faint bits of his cologne; pine began to fill your nostrils.

"I've gotta pee!" Monika shouted, stumbling toward the house.

You rested your head on his chest as you both continued to sway in sync, his hands resting on your hips.

"This is so perfect, Kayce. I don't want it to end. The stars. The fire. You." You mumbled.

Kayce stopped moving and lifted your chin with his finger. "What?"

"You heard me." You smiled.

Kayce slowly began to dip his head down, until you both heard Monika assert herself by asking when it was her turn for a dance. Kind and caring Kayce pulled you back into a hug and kissed the top of your head, barely whispering, "Me neither."

"You gonna stand there all day? Or are you gonna come cook some supper?" Someone hollared from the porch.

You blinked to reality, seeing John leaning on one of the stone pillars. You smiled as you began to walk towards him, him now walking toward you.

"How are ya, darlin? We sure have missed seeing you around here." John says, pulling you in for a hug. "I'm sorry about your Mom. She was my favorite chef, you know. Well, you might change that."

"Thanks, Mr. Dutton. I missed it here, brings back a lot of memories though." You spoke into his chest.

"Its John, especially to you. You know that. Where's your stuff?"

"It's, uh, in the truck. Should I -" He cuts you off.

"Eh, well have Rip grab it later. Let me just show you where you'll be staying real quick."

John escorts you up a log staircase and to one of the bedrooms. After informing you where everything was, he motioned for you to follow him to the kitchen. Nothing had really changed in the Dutton home. Maybe some updated furniture, but that's about it. You almost felt like it was a time capsule.

The kitchen was small but extremely functional. You walked through, gently grazing your fingers across the beautiful stove. You turned to meet John's gaze.

"Things have changed a bit, but this will work for you, right?" He asked.

"Absolutely." You said with a smile.

"I'll leave you to it." He said, turning and walking away.

You pulled ingredients from the fridge and various cupboards, chopping and prepping. You began to feel the frustration build in you from not knowing your way around the kitchen. You grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, popped the top, and chugged as much as you could down in one gulp.

You tilted your head back to finish the bottle and turned to put it in the sink, only to be met with another body next to you. There stood Kayce with his back and hands leaning on the counter, smiling cheekily at you.

"Just like I remember." He said.

"Hi, Kayce." You replied, placing the bottle in the sink and going back to the stove.

"You know, I thought I was seein' a ghost." He laughed. "What're you doing here?"

Not taking your eyes from the stove, you replied. "You're looking at the new chef. I'm filling in for Gator while he's gone."

He nodded with pursed lips. "Well, I'm gonna go get washed up."

You turned and nodded with a smile, as he began to walk away. Why was Kayce here? Last you heard he was living on the reservation with Monika.

You filled large serving dishes with the meal for the night and began to place them in the middle of the table, in front of John, Kayce, and Beth.

"Enjoy, guys." You forced a quick nod, wiped your hands on your apron, and moved to leave the room.

"Y/N, stay. Eat. Please. You're not just a chef here. You're family." John spoke.

"Oh...okay. Uh, thank you." You said meekly, pulling your apron over your head and laying it over the back of a chair. Kayce slid the chair next to him out and gestured for you to sit. You obliged.

As you sat and ate, everyone caught up with each other's lives and reminisced about the good times that were had years ago. You noticed that your wine glass never seemed to be empty, but you didn't mind. There were a lot of emotions going on, so a little numbness was welcomed.

You couldn't help but notice that Kayce continually touched your shoulder with his, and you seemed to be the focus of his attention tonight. During dinner, you found out why Kayce was here, and not with his wife and son. He expressed that Monika wanted nothing to do with the ranch and didn't feel it was a good place for Tate. She told him she needed space.

As dinner finished, you piled the family's plates on top of yours and began to balance them into the kitchen, only to realize upon standing that you were much more inebriated than you thought. Before you could even stop it, one plate fell right after the other; shattering on the ground.

The tears began to flow, out of embarrassment and fear combined. You quickly dropped to your knees and attempted to pick up the tiny pieces scattered all around. Unknowingly, while picking up the shards of plates, you were also cutting small slices into your hands. You felt hands on your shoulders.

"Y/N? What happened? Stop, stop. It's okay." Kayce shouted.

You stood and brought your shakey hands over the sink, small drops of blood dripped into the basin.

"I thought I could do this. I thought I could come back here. I figured it'd been enough time. I didn't know it would hurt so much. Between everything that happened with you. And now with Mom..." You cried.

Kayce stepped behind you, his chest pressed to your back. He turned on the faucet, took your hands in his, and gently rinsed each finger and cut slowly. You leaned your head back against his collarbone, wincing at the water stinging your nerves.

After he finishes rinsing your hands, he turns you around and blots your hands tenderly with clean paper towels.

"You know, I hate how much I care about you." Kayce's eyes burn into yours, scanning from right to left continually.

He balls his hand into a fist and speaks through clenched teeth, "because I know..." he pauses.

He loosens his stance and hangs his head sighing, "I shouldn't."

You rest your forehead on his.

"Why?" You ask.

You both pull away to face each other, the eye contact almost unbearable.

"Because I fucked up...I fucked up a long time ago. And if I didn't, well, maybe things would've been different." He shook his head and stared out the window behind you. "I wouldn't trade Tate for the world. But I don't know why I didn't just speak up. I didn't want to be with Monika. But we were having a baby, what was I supposed to do?"

"Hey, you did the right thing." You cupped his face in both your hands, forcing him to look at you again. "You were having a baby! What else were you supposed to do?"

"I was supposed to be with you. I wanted to be with you. I love you, Y/N. There's no one else I ever saw myself making a life with." He lamented.

You moved your arms to drape over his shoulders, memories of that night flooding back to you again. In the same fashion, Kayce hooked a finger under your chin to align his lips with yours. Warmth flowed to your cheeks. His lips met yours, soft and tender. It felt like home.

MASTERLIST

[roughridingrednecks]

Skrewloose Dutton

[englishcarssince1946]

1982 Dutton Melos

My tumblr-blogs:

www.tumblr.com/germancarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/frenchcarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/englishcarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/italiancarssince1946 & www.tumblr.com/japanesecarssince1947 & www.tumblr.com/uscarssince1935

[lgbtqreads]

Exclusive Cover Reveal: Mountain Upside Down by Sara Ryan

Today on the site I’m delighted to reveal the cover of Mountain Upside Down by Sara Ryan, a contemporary Middle Grade by the author of my favorite early Sapphic YA, releasing February 11, 2025 from Dutton Books for Young Readers! Here’s the story: A funny and heartfelt LGBTQIA+ middle grade novel set against the backdrop of family drama and a library funding campaign in a small town. Alex Eager…

[ijustkindalikebooks]

Review: Middle Of The Night by Riley Sager.

In the latest jaw-dropping thriller from New York Times bestselling author Riley Sager, a man must contend with the long-ago disappearance of his childhood best friend—and the dark secrets lurking just beyond the safe confines of his picture-perfect neighborhood.

Is it summer really until we have a Riley Sager book? I don't think so and I was intrigued by this one as I think this is the author's first male main character and so I was curious as to how the dynamic would work compared to his female led works.

I do think the plot was doing great things, the two timelines in this book make for a book that keeps you hanging on to every chapter and I really do appreciate the plot twists in this book, it certainly wasn't something I saw coming (maybe I don't read thrillers enough, but this one was good!) and when the story gets started it's very difficult to stop reading.

However I do feel the characters are a bit of a letdown, some of them lack personality which is replaced by being reminded what the plot is. I feel like so much more could be made from these characters and though I am glad that there is representation here, I feel like it would have been improved by the characterisation.

There are good things here, I think it's a very poignant book about how we deal with loss and letting go of the past, I think the tension is strong and the plot really moves fast that makes this book really gripping.

One of those books perfect for taking on holiday in my humble opinion.

(thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the arc for review)