#During the movie it was 22 though

[magicalmyths]

Okay but if you went to the eras tour what would your bathroom song be?

[euclydya]

[waves cheerfully!!] ask game ask game!! :3 <33 <22 24. What's your favorite piece of jewelry you own? 25. Favorite niche topic?

hello starlight!! <22 <33!!!

Probably our glow in the dark star necklace! We got it for Christmas a couple years ago, it... DID come from Temu or whatever, and it don't exactly glow in the dark, but it's blue and cute and we lov it HDSBSNDJFJS mom also got us a green one that we just found today!

Though shoutout to our pentagram earrings and our brimstone necklace, those pieces of jewelry are also very important to us even though we don't wear em all that often <3

Not really sure tbh! Perhaps obscure instruments? Or music boxes? We hyperfixated on both HARD a few years ago, hell, we based our whole identity around music boxes around 2019 or so—they're one of our favourite instruments to this day! We probably still remember a lotta fun facts about em and obscure instruments in general tbh but alas our memory is. Not good at all so who knows HFDHSHDJFJ

-Fids

[queenlawrenceskingdom]

I’m listening to the whole series on audiobook and then watching the movies, and tonight is Catching Fire. I think it’s been over five years since I’ve watched it. Other than disgracing us with a Gale kiss in the first five minutes, I forgot how much dialogue comes straight from the book. Francis Lawrence really was our saving grace

My inbox is open for discussion!

[simpjaes]

MILF HUNT! ― P.JS

Jay, a favorite among classy wives to hire during the hot summer season for a nice, thorough pool cleaning, seems to have a favorite wife of his own.  You.  Or the one where Jay was the pain-in-your-ass son of the family you used to babysit for, but now he’s making it his mission to be the pain-in-your-ass pretend husband that you never asked for, but very clearly need. 

minors dni 

PAIRING ― park jongseong x afab milf!reader  

WORDCOUNT― 18.9k

CONTENT―  age gap: reader is 29 and jay is 22, milf trope/single mother reader, college pool boy jay (turned part time babysitter), reader has 1 kid and jay really wants to give her another, reader has morals!! jay just doesn’t see it as a moral issue, he is actually very sweet 

!WARNINGS! ―  age gap, jay is somewhat of a manipulator, he’s gentle but won’t take no for an answer. dub-con in one instance. major breeding kink and kind of a mommy and daddy kink (domesticity), angst regarding reader and her ex husband, reader has huge tits 

NOTE ― this was supposed to be a toxic jay fic but it turned into this instead because i love him so bad…………. NOT PROOF READ, mind the typos. i'm insane for him.

nsfw tags under cut

nsfw tags― big dick jay, masturbation, small instance of dubious consent, tit obsessed jay, groping and grinding, mommy/daddy kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cum stuffing-ish, pussy eating, fingering, basically it’s jay doing stuff to you, this ain’t smut this is making love, also reader doesn’t shave her coochie and jay fucking loves it.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Having a stray eye isn’t typically something you afford yourself when it comes to men. Things tend to change with time though, that much you know is true. 

It was proven to you for the first time when your ex husband decided to up and leave you three weeks before your due date for a woman–well, girl, fresh out of high school. Years of trust and promises crushed with just a single sentence and a slam of the door. Time must’ve changed you for him to leave so heartlessly. Time must’ve changed him to become so cold. 

 It was proven again when you were able to heal despite never believing you could. Seconds of pain turned to minutes, to hours. Days. weeks. Months. Years of pain before being able to wake up and feel somewhat numb to it all. Like a flip switch in your head that told you that you can be happy now even if as a single mother. After all, the hard part was over. 

It took some four to five years, but it did happen. Time did change you, it healed you, it matured you. As your child grew, so did you. And for the better, you think. You count your blessings of living a life far more lavish than you ever could have anticipated given the circumstances that had been thrown at you. Even to the point of nesting, wanting another child, wanting a big and happy family. But alas, your ex husband had better things to do. 

At the end of the day, you’d never be able to call this home yours if you had stayed with your ex husband. He didn’t like this kind of “flashy” lifestyle, and to him, everything you wanted seemed too flashy for him. Perhaps he was right to some extent, as you recognize the brand name goods you now own, solely because you had promised yourself in the depths of your despair that you’ll get to a point in life where you can buy yourself everything you not only need, but want. So, here you are, owning an expensive home, in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car and a nice pool. 

Your daughter has everything she could want and need too, aside from a sibling, it’s certainly still more than what you had growing up and it’s all because of you. A fully decorated bedroom drenched in glitter, purples, creams, yellows, and pink, her favorite color. All sorts of play houses, costumes, dolls, a few lego sets, and even some plastic swords and knives for the days she wants to pretend to be her favorite movie characters. Clothes she can grow into, and a nice little fund building up for her as she grows up. Her first car, college, help for a down payment on her own first house. 

Both of you have everything you could ever want or need and for that, you’re so proud. Especially knowing your husband would have never believed you could make it this far without him. Still, despite having everything you could ever ask for, there’s something in you that feels empty.

Time changes things. 

Time changes a lot of things, you note more than usual, as the man you’ve been ogling for the past three weeks makes himself far more known to you than you ever wished he would.

The interaction with him was always so quick before today and given the fact that he was a complete stranger, you never quite invited him into your home considering–you know, small child and all. You had hired him over text. Jay, your neighbor said his name was. His handsome features didn’t offer you anything more than a clean pool and a wandering eye. 

Your neighbor apparently has a friend who has a cousin that has an even nicer pool than you do. Given, it’s only a nicer pool due to the fact that this young man, Jay, tended to it weekly and made damn sure it could be drunk out of if a person had a craving for chlorine. 

You feel like an idiot now that it didn’t dawn on you quick enough. Sure, he looked a bit familiar to you but who doesn’t when you’re always out and about seeing so many different faces on a daily basis? His name, Jay, didn’t ring any bells. Now though, the shame of staring at his sweaty pecs and biceps came crashing down the moment you realized who Jay actually is. 

He didn’t do a damn thing to remind you either, if anything, all he did was walk around all sweaty in the afternoon heat with his tank top either sticking to him, or off entirely. It appears that you had just been too busy running errands with your child, considering his shifts were always when you were home. Too busy cooking, cleaning, reading, lounging. Too busy looking at…well, not his face. 

Too busy to give the man a glance more than that of a slice of pie behind a bakery window. 

Jay. 

Since fucking when was that his name?

“Park Jongseong.” You whimper near mortified, three weeks too late as you hand him his pay with nervous hands. “Spray-cheese in my hair Jongseong?” 

“Ah, was wondering when you’d pick up on that.” He smiles at you with that crooked grin, a knowing look that any man at a bar would give you if he had caught you checking him out. Then, he pockets the hefty amount of cash that you hand to him. “I go by Jay more often these days.” He trails off, an amused smirk half-falling as he looks at your expression of realization. “You can call me whatever you want though.”

He’s well aware of how often you’ve checked him out since he started intentionally taking his clothes off. After all, it’s mid-july by this point and the sun baring down on him doesn’t quite call for a fucking turtle neck sweater. Or a T-shirt, or a tank top, for that matter. It calls for all skin baby, beautifully tanned and toned for you and any of your neighbors to look at if they so wanted to. 

Jay doesn’t work out for nothing, after all. Summer after summer, he’s found himself to be quite fond of the rich women that hire him for their pool services. Always wanting an attractive young man to wander around half naked and satiate their lack of sex life with their husbands, or boy-toys, or what have you. He knows all that extra pay isn’t because he does a good job either. He’s gotten winks, small comments, even a few offers of his body for more pay.

He’s turned them all down, of course. For a full-on affair, anyway. Jay has gotten a few blow jobs and quickies as a tip before though, and a lot of that is why he keeps getting referred to more women. Richer women. Never single women. 

Until you. 

He quite enjoyed catching you looking at him. Especially given the fact that he knew exactly who you were when you introduced yourself to him via text. That little childhood crush on you came back within an instant upon actually seeing you again. Truly, he had forgotten all about you up until that fateful day three weeks ago. 

If he’s being honest, he’s been pining something fierce since he first stepped foot on your property. Excitement swelled inside of him just to see you again. To see if you’re still hot, to see how you’re doing, what you’re doing. How your life is going.

 He knew you didn’t recognize his nickname through text, and he definitely knew you didn’t recognize him to be eating him up with those eyes of yours either. So, he played along, enjoying it while he could before it would inevitably dawn on you. Still, he remembers you so well from back then. Crazy to know that he rarely thought of you for the past twelve years or so, and how all those little butterflies of his came back in a far more mature way. He was only ten back then, but he’s a man now. 

Twenty two and perfectly sound as a man who knows what he likes. The fact that you happen to fall into that category is no fault of his own, honestly. It’s your fault if anyone’s at all. Jay is a man that likes a specific type of woman too. Woman. Not a girl, not a young lady, not a free spirit, nor a prude. He is drawn to the idea of experience, to the idea of settling down. It’s not easy to find that at his age, in college, surrounded by party girls and casual drug use. 

And, well, imagine his smile upon seeing your lovely, lavish home with the large pool, no ring on your finger, a whole fucking child, and your motherly instincts when you buckle her into the car for an errand. Oh and the broken fence in the far back of your yard.

You’re a single mom. 

A hot single mom who lives lavishly. One who could probably use a man’s help around your house.

He half expected you to be able to recognize him when he appeared for work the first time. He even had a monologue in his head on what to say to you, and how to present himself. You didn’t seem to take notice though, introducing yourself to him as if you hadn’t spent all that time in his childhood home when you were a teenager. Like you never mothered him, or put him to sleep with the soft lul of your voice when you let him watch all those scary movies before bed. 

 Clearly you’re too busy experiencing life to notice the way he fawns over you too. Hating how you’re more reserved than the other lavish, fixed-up women. You seem to have standards, or maybe it’s just priorities ... that's so hot. Truly, it only makes him want you more because by now, the other women would already be rubbing all over him. The ones who shouldn’t be wanting him the way they do. So, yes, he’s always stealing glances at you with sparkling dark eyes, fantasizing in his head that this pool is his to clean now, because that’s what a good man would do for you, right? With him around servicing your pool and lawn, you’d never need to hire or spend money on another broke ass college student again.

Yes. That’s how quickly he fell into this infatuation solely because you looked at him like you want it without realizing who he was. Hell, without realizing how perfect you are in terms of what he wants.

God, how are you still single? 

Like, why do you have a child and a house so beautiful without a man wandering around doing all of this work for you? Not that you couldn’t do it on your own, it’s just, you clearly have the means to make a man do as you please. Why haven’t you?

You happen to fall almost perfectly into the categories of what he’s looking for. Save for the fact that now you recognize him as that kid you used to babysit rather than the man who tries to be sexy while cleaning your pool. Which is a fucking shame, if he’s being honest, to be written off as that same ten year old child rather than a fucking man who very clearly has needs and desires. 

The point is– Jay wants you and he parades around your pool for you to look at him. So what if you used to babysit him? It’s not like you’re an old swamp-hag trying to lure him with candy. You’re just…a woman. And he’s just a man. 

“Well, thank you for cleaning again,” You trail off in an awkward tone, shifting your eyes to anywhere but him. He watches you though, smiling a smile you know all too well from his childhood antics. It must mean something different now, or maybe not. “I guess I’ll see you next week?” 

“Well, actually,” Jay offers, “Would you be opposed to–” You cut him off instantly with an awkward wave of your hand.

You don’t know why you make assumptions, maybe from that damned smile on his face, but you do recall your ex husband reminding you time and time again that it’s one of the things he hated about you. 

Assumptions. Always thinking the worst, or perhaps the most filthy of situations and expressions. To be fair, you feel guilty about how you’ve been looking at him, you can’t help but panic trying to pretend like it never happened, and that he never saw it happen.

“I’m not interested, Jongseong.” You respond hastily, pressing your thumb to your bottom lip to bite the skin on it, keeping your eyes away from him with the awkward words. After all, he knew who you were this whole time and paraded around like that? 

Even before recognizing him yourself, you know men well enough to know when they’re trying to flaunt. Is it so wrong to assume?

“Interested in what?” Jay tilts his head knowingly, seeing the way you buckle under the guilt of staring at the very man you used to tuck into bed every night. He can see the way you try to push those sexual thoughts you had away in the quick rejection to a simple assumption. 

 “I was just going to ask if you want me to fix your fence.” 

Ah, you did get ahead of yourself through the guilt, and you’re far too aware of it as you draw your eyes back to him and note the expression on his face. Amused, maybe a bit of concern in his eyes, even? 

“Ah, um–” You start, trailing your eyes down your fence line never once noticing a break in it. Jay is quick to point though, leaning to you with a whisper of “right there.” And well, you did not need to hear that tone in his voice the way you just did.

God, it’s so awkward.

“Well, how much would that cost me?” You question with an empty voice, staring at the broken fence. 

“Free.” He uses the same tone, leaning away from you now and smiling wide. “That is, if you provide lunch.” 

Well, despite the awkwardness, that break over there would cost you a pretty penny to fix, and your daughter needs the safety of playing in her own yard without random animals or worse, people, making their way in. Plus, you’re quite fond of saving money. How else would you be here if you weren’t good at it? And now, given that you’re most definitely not interested in Jay, what's the harm in making a few sandwiches for someone you already know well enough? It’s not like you’ve never made him lunch before.

The awkwardness will pass and your guilt will subside. You both will laugh at it over a cold glass of iced lemonade, surely. It’s not like you realized who he was anyway, it’s not like you’re just gonna keep looking at him like that. You should just push forward and it’ll all be fine. 

“Hell, I’d even watch the kiddo so you can have a break every now and then.” He watches your reaction, wanting to ask so many questions about why you’re single, who the father is, where he is, why he isn’t here. “After all, I learned quite a bit from you.” 

For a second you consider that too.

And there’s three reasons as to why you should. The first being that you were literally just looking for a new child care facility due to learning of the staff coming to work while sick. Your poor daughter came home with a fever just last week, and you’ve had little luck in finding a place with the same educational benefits for her. 

The second being that, well, while you’re not hurting for cash or anything, it wouldn’t hurt to be able to put a little more back for her college fund. Or for fun little vacations. 

And lastly, despite your guilt of lusting over someone you shouldn’t have, you know Jongseong and you know his family even better. No background check would be needed, your daughter could be in the comfort of her own home rather than a classroom setting that she’s sure to see for at least twenty years of her life in the future. 

So, yes. You consider it instantly, and Jay sees it. 

You only know of the childhood version of him and, well, the slutty pool-side version of him apparently. If only you knew of that other side of him and how fond he is of watching his own younger cousins. How good he is with children, and how much he clings to the idea of being a father one day.

Jay is great with kids, with or without them having a hot mom.

And well, he knows that he’s fond of looking at you at least. Besides, as long as you can work with his class schedules, he’d be willing to do just about anything to play pretend-husband, even if you’re unaware of it. 

“Is that so?” You finally ask, curious eyes looking at him with a furrowed brow. “Shouldn’t you be out living the life? College parties and such?” You add, wondering why such a great deal has managed to flop down on your lap. The idea of even cheaper childcare without the risk of unvaccinated children, and sick caretakers being far too good of a deal to pass up. 

“Well, yeah I guess.” He shrugs, leaning backwards to stretch and roll his shoulders. “Not really my scene though. I have classes Monday and Wednesday all day, Tuesday and Thursdays my classes are online. If you can work around that, I’d rather just be making money and chilling.” 

You think about it just for a second more when he continues. 

“I can be here on weekends too. Maybe you should be the one out relaxing and having some drinks.” 

“Well, I don’t quite need that, or for you to be here on weekends.” You think as you say it, knowing you have given up on going out to try and meet men two years ago. “I could pay you though, let’s say, thirty an hour?” 

Well, shit, that’s not too bad at all, especially considering he’s about to give up on cleaning the pools of a few women in his contacts for this. It’s a major pay cut, but still enough to get by comfortably if you’ll have him multiple times a week. That plus the pool cleaning money? And free lunch? 

“Oh, you don’t go out at all? I don’t see why not, could probably get a man in no time–” Jay ignores the wage offer and pushes to note the singlehood he had been noticing for the past three weeks. “and the pay is fine.” 

“Ah, well, the dating pool isn’t so great in this neck of the woods.” You scratch the back of your neck when you say it. “That aside, I'll have her in day care on the days you can’t be here, but it really would be a big help. Thank you for the offer, Jongseong. And for the fence too.” 

He watches you with a firm nod, shoving his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts, still entirely shirtless in front of you. 

“And the pool.” You add quietly after a moment. 

“I think you’d be surprised about the dating pool.” He smiles as he pushes the subject back to what you had previously said, hoping you believe those words before continuing. “So, when do you want me to start?” 

“Is tomorrow too soon? You’re okay to set up here with your online classes?”

“Tomorrow is perfect.” He smiles.

“I’m sure she would be so happy knowing she won’t be going to daycare–” You clap, feeling a bit less awkward despite the boldness of the man in front of you. You’re sure he’s just teasing you for knowing you checked him out. “I know I am.” 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It’s a little too perfect, actually.

After that first day of watching your child and making a lazy attempt at “fixing your fence,” he’s settled in like it’s home. He wishes it was, with the lavish lifestyle in a house far too pretty compared to his own living space with piles upon piles of laundry he’s too lazy to pick up for himself. 

It’s different for you though. Different when he’s here.

Truly, he feels like he’s living the life after a couple of weeks with decent pay and a comfy space to do his homework. He watches your child, which is arguably the hardest part of the job but she’s well behaved for him. In fact, she seems to have taken a shine to him.

He’s starting to be very intentional with taking far too long to work on your fence too, and still maintaining your pool. He’s trying to drag this out for as long as he can. Even if just to see if you still look at him when you come home the same way you did before recognizing him. You never do though. When his shirt is off and he’s wiping his forehead in the sun, you don’t look at him anymore.

Hell, he’s even considered breaking things in your home just to give himself more jobs to do. More things that make him feel needed, like a husband. More things that you thank him for fixing, even if it breaks again two days later.

And ah, the food in your fridge is always free reign to him, that large television in the living room too. God, sometimes he dreads going home, and by sometimes, he means all the time. Who in their right mind would ever fucking want to live outside of this lifestyle? He really can’t believe you’re single, nor can he believe that he has the opportunity to be in your home, close to you. It shouldn’t take too long now to convince you, right? That you don’t necessarily have to be single? That you need him around to live even more comfortably?

In short, Jay is in his head about how he’s practically just roleplaying as your stay-at-home husband before having to go back to his shitty little apartment and remind himself that he’s just a fucking college student with no interest in the people on campus. And like, even with the way you come home from work, all groggy and exhausted on the days he’s there, you always thank him before giving him his pay. What he likes best about those nights is when you’re too exhausted to even pay him and you promise to do it next time.

In his mind, that’s you promising to see him again. 

He could give less of a shit about the pay at this point, as long as he gets to be in this house, smelling your favorite candles and dish detergents, seeing you, being a semi-father to a child who deserves more love than the two of you combined can give…he’ll fucking do anything you want for free. 

It’s difficult sometimes, like he really can’t help it. Some days wandering around this house and imagining how the two of you could have landed on buying it together. How the rooms would be organized if he were here from the start. Claiming his spot on your couch like any dad would. Playing dolls with your daughter, laughing with her, letting her paint his nails and put his hair in little pigtails. He even cleans your pool as if it were his own, meaning, he genuinely cleans it. 

He has taken it upon himself to mow your lawn, confusing the yard workers that you apparently hired years ago. Did he accidentally fire them? Maybe, but any good husband would save you money, right? He checks your mail, waves to your neighbors and lets them make assumptions. 

And every single fucking night it’s harder and harder to go back home.

Especially after a full day of playing dad then seeing you come back home so tired. Turning off that switch in his head isn’t easy. He wants to greet you like the husband you don’t have. He wants to ease your hard days in so many ways. Tell you he’s proud of you, that you still look so pretty after an exhausting shift of whatever the fuck you do. He wants to serve you dinner, run you a bath, fix your hair, lay you down– oh, he’s fantasizing again. Unfortunately, he has to settle with seeing the relief on your face when he lets you know in a soft voice that he’s cooked dinner and he will heat it up for you before leaving, kiddo is in her room sleeping, no dishes in the sink, and laundry is folded and put away. 

He loves the appreciation in your eyes, and sometimes even sees a glint of sadness. He can tell you wish you had this from a person who isn’t here for pay. Someone who loves you, and loves your child, and feels joy in making your life easier. 

Fuck, if only you knew. 

And  you’d be lying if you tried to say Jay isn’t a godsend to you on the days he babysits. Many times you find yourself wishing he’d just move in and do everything that you can’t do. You’d pay him well, give him a guest room, whatever. But it’s just…not viable to support a full time employee like that, nor is it fair to your daughter. 

She needs a parent, not a paid college student who needs some extra cash. You have to be that parent, you have to make time for her and witness all of her joys in life. You have to protect her and never bring in faces of men who claim to want to be a father, only to run and break her heart more than your own. 

For now, you settle with this godsend of a little shit you used to babysit. Still you can barely believe that’s the same person, but again…time changes things. And thankfully, the awkwardness of what you did has died down drastically.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Today, you’re more thankful for Jay than you have been previously. After a heavy workload has been lifted off your back with the approval of this project, you need a night out. For the first time in years, you’re giving yourself a night out, all because you have someone you can trust to be here for your daughter.

He was so understanding when you called, even happy to come over right then and there to put her to bed and mostly just house-sit for the night. Even without an end time for him, and even without asking for extra pay, he just…accepted with an understanding tone and that stupid breathy chuckle he gives to you when you ask for favors. “What? You need me there right now? I’m putting on my shoes.” He had said.

It’s the fact that now, as he sits on your couch looking at you in your chosen outfit– he seems a little off. Maybe it’s because you asked him where the best spots in town are because it’s been so long since you’ve gone out, or maybe he just feels awkward seeing so much skin on your body. 

To be fair, he didn’t realize you were going out out. He thought that maybe you were gonna go stay with a friend to celebrate and have a drink or two. 

In reality though, he’s just awestruck. Already you look great even after your busy days at work but…this is a different level. The way your tits look in that push-up bra and tiny ass top, when he’s used to seeing you head out in some sort of business casual outfit without an ounce of skin showing save for your ankles or wrists…jesus. He’s struggling more than usual to keep himself calm around you, hopping up on one leg when you walk away to try and adjust the chub in his pants, and releasing a small sigh before you’re looking at him again.

His skin feels like it’s on fire knowing you’re going out looking like that.

“You sure you're okay to sleep over? I figure it’ll be easier since I’m not sure when I’ll come home, or if I come home.” You smile with a wink, your stomach in knots over the two shots you’ve taken for the first time in years. “I can call my friends and tell them not to come if you’d rather focus on your studies.” 

Jay shakes his head, waving his hands in defense for you as if he didn’t just see the way your tits bounce and squish against your shirt with each move you make. 

“No, no! Go on, have fun.” He says, encouraging you to go out despite hoping you come home with no luck of finding a man out there. 

Just, look at you. Fuck, he’s staring again. He hates knowing that he could be one of the guys at whatever bar or club you’re landing on tonight. He could be the person that makes sure you don’t come home, getting to plant his face right there. He could be whatever you want him to be if you’re looking like that. 

But no, he has to play husband again, which is normally something he’s all too excited to do. Tonight though, he feels like a fucking cuckold. After everything he does for you, after not mentioning how you’ve skipped a few of his payments, after slaving away for hours over your pool, your household chores, fixing and breaking that fucking dishwasher, cooking you dinner every single night he’s here just to make sure you have a meal when you get off of work…you imply you may not come home tonight?

And you’re dressed like that?

And you’re…

God, you just look so good right now. It pains him to know you didn’t dress like this for him, the only man who cares enough to make your life easy. He’s not mad at you, per se, but he’s pissed that you don’t see him as an option despite showing you time and time again that not only is he an option, but the right choice. 

This is what you look like when you want to impress a man? This is how you act? How you talk? Fuck, god, fuck– maybe he’s just too deep in his one-sided roleplay but it really, really fucking feels like he’s watching his woman go off and look for someone else to fuck.

“Thank you, Jongseong,” You smile, walking over to him with a saunter in your step and a gentle smile across your lips. 

He’s never heard you speak his name so sensually, the way his cock twitches forces him to wince away from you. He’s never even seen you saunter before. Fucking hell, somehow it feels worse seeing you act like this after how many times he’s imagined it, all alone in his room. 

A slow walk from you, with the strap of your shirt slipping off your shoulder, fat tits threatening to spill out, lifting the hem of your skirt, or dress, or whatever you’re wearing in his fantasy at that point. Your voice, so soft, so sexy. And you’re practically bringing his fantasy to life right now, except he knows you’re going to fucking walk away from him like this. Into the fucking arms of some random dude at a club. 

Probably some loser he’s seen on campus too.

“It means a lot.” You add, popping a quick, platonic kiss to the top of his forehead. 

Ah, lipgloss. That little kiss on him is enough to ignite him to the point of no return. He almost wants to skip the part of asking you not to go and straight up just beg that you pick him, that you choose him. It’s not just your home, or the luxuries that come with it. It’s you that he wants. You’re the fucking luxury and you’re just gonna go to some sticky-floored club and pretend he’s not clearly checking you the fuck out right now? Like he’s not about three seconds from dropping to his knees just to see you from the angle you deserve?! 

“It’s no problem.” Jay relents, dropping himself onto your couch instead and adjusting his body to sink deep into the cushions just to keep himself from arguing against everything he’s giving you permission to do right now. 

Hah. Permission.

“Be safe.” He adds in an even more monotone voice. “I’ll be here when you get back.” 

And god, he seethes in his thoughts after you close that door and hop into the car with your friends. You don’t look like a mother tonight, and he wonders if you’ll be upfront and forward with anyone you intend to hit on too. Probably not. He’s well aware of the men in this city, after all, he’s one of them.

It’s really not something he can control after seeing you like that either. Your child is already in bed and he’s just sitting here on your couch with a throbbing, fucking weeping cock thinking about you. What’s stopping him from taking care of it? You’re not here, after all. 

You’re not fucking here. But everything about you is. 

And that’s how he finds himself in your bedroom for the first time, barely making it a foot into the room before closing the door and dropping to the floor. The scent in your room is different. It’s feminine, gentle, like the energy is kissing him all over and sending goosebumps straight to the head of his cock. He couldn’t even pull it out, already holding his breath with his hand down his pants, vigorously trying to get what he wants so badly yet knowing that his hand will never compare to you. 

And it’s here where he feels like a husband. Spilling against his pants with a silent, choked back sob as he stares forward at your bed, and the way you didn’t make it this morning. It’s messy, and he wants to be in that mess of sheets with you more than anything. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jay hates that he’s now forced to get used to your late night ventures. Every weekend now. Every. Fucking. Weekend.  You ask if he’s willing to stay over so you can go unwind, and despite his better (or worse) judgment, he accepts. The only solace he finds in these ventures is knowing you consistently come back home right after usual closing times, and you’re mostly sober. Sometimes a bit whiny that you’re not lucking out, worrying that maybe you’re too old now, or maybe you’re just not as desirable. There have even been a few times where you’ve exposed your ex husband during your rants, giving Jay little hints to follow as to why you’re single, and how he left you. 

Still, he knows in your tipsy state that you usually wouldn’t talk about these things with him, but he’s all too happy to get the details once you come home. Mostly because it calms his rising rage at how you’re doing this to not only him, but yourself. It’s mostly because you’re technically coming home to him though. 

And every single time, you go back to your bedroom to grab his payment even though it could wait until morning, considering he’s been sleeping in the guest room– all he can think about is how he’s been in your room. He’s gotten off countless times by now by the smell of your room alone, still barely able to even reach your bed to lay in it himself for a better experience. God, he’s probably memorized each little fray in your carpeted bedroom floor by now with how much he’s zoned out on it mid-jerk off session right there on his knees at your door. 

He’s truly pathetic for you. 

This time though…three in the morning has passed and normally you’d have been stumbling through the door an hour ago. Normally, he’d be fighting back the need to tell you that you’re beautiful, not too old, and entirely desirable. Normally, he would be fisting his cock again in your guest room before sleep, getting off on the idea that he can cum in a house that you live in, smothered by the sheets you meticulously picked out to match the walls of the room. Moaning for you, practically crying for you to let him do it all. 

Have you really done it this time? Gone off with some man? Are you getting railed right now in some hotel, or car, or someone’s shitty man-cave? God, his mind is racing, both aroused at the fact that you must be horny to be constantly wanting to go out like this, but equally as devastated because like…he’s right here.

Who the fuck cares if you babysat him? He’s a man. No longer that child who sprayed cheese in your hair or dumped salt into the bag of sugar. He’s a fucking man, cooking you dinner when you work, parenting your child, cleaning your house, maintaining your pool and fence….He does everything for you, why the fuck don’t you see it?!

Click.

Jay’s ears perk up instantly at the sound. He sits up on the couch from his depressed slump of scrolling through his phone, quickly fixing his hair and clearing his throat. 

In you stumble, right into the little entryway table with a whisper-screams “Shit, fuck–”

Jay looks at your state before standing to his feet and rushing to you, helping you balance on your feet despite your footing not quite being grounded even with his help. You lean on him closely, letting out an alcohol scented sigh. 

His nostrils flare as he holds his breath, feeling your tit press against his arm, smelling the drinks, the sweat, and the dulled perfume on you. Then, a hint of something else. Musk. 

You’ve been with a man. 

He holds back a gesture at the way you lean on him. Nothing more he could want at this moment but to hold you tightly and tell you that he’s got you, despite the panic in his stomach at the way he sniffs out another man. Out of lust, love, desperation, frustration. This is the closest you’ve been to him for this long. You feel clammy and cold, a clear indication that you drank far, far too much. Your tank top is sticking to you, your eyes are a bit glassy–

“You’re late.” He says shortly.

“Late?!” You raise your voice before looking at him with drowsy eyes, furrowing your brow. “I don’t have a curfe-”

“Shh–” He shushes you, helping you get to the living room. “She’s sleeping and you’re going to have her make a fuss about waking up.”

You giggle to yourself as he drops you onto the couch, now aware that yes, you are not a single college student anymore. You’re a single woman. A fucking mother. 

You should’ve just gotten a hotel for the night and slept there to dream a little longer. 

“Right.” You laugh, slouching, spreading out wide against the couch and trying to fix your gaze on him. “Why’re you still awake?” 

Jay fixes his eyes on you, swallowing around a lump in his throat. The way you’re slouching…seemingly forgetting that you’re wearing a skirt and basically flashing your panties at him. God, the things could do to you right now. The things he could get away with if he wanted to. He tries to shake those thoughts for now, and instead, inspects you from head to toe.

He’s never seen you look so relaxed. Chest raising and falling with each breath, hair a little messy, lipstick stains smeared on the outsides of your lip line. He chooses to ignore the faint swell against your neck indicating someone has been sucking on you. But, well, he can’t ignore it. Both his cock and heart aches at the very thought.

“You’ve been kissing?” Jay tries to ask nonchalantly. 

“A lot more than that–” You smile, feeling a flush cross your cheeks before the disappointment hits you square in the gut. 

Jay watches your face fall, and he mimics it by falling onto the couch and sitting by your head…you know, allowing you to lay your head on him if you want to. You’d probably not notice his arousal anyway, given your state. 

“Oh?” He asks gently, the disappointment now showing plainly on not just your face, but his own.

“Thought I was gonna go home with him, turns out he decided to be done after a blowjob in the parking lot.”

Oh, the way his blood boils. Not for the fact that you were used or rejected, but for the fact that you found someone that you were interested in and genuinely intended to leave your home life in his hands for however fucking long. Really? Just gonna leave him here all alone? Like he couldn’t do better for you?

“It’s for the better–” Jay says as he shivers with irritation, struggling to keep his façade up. It’s definitely not what you wanted to hear, and definitely not what you’d have expected to hear from a college guy at all either.

“This happened last time too, except he didn’t even get me to the parking lot.” You huff, unaware of how much you’re sharing right now. 

He bites back the anger yet again, inhaling deeply before releasing a calming breath through his nose just to contain it. So…it has happened more than once? 

“Why don’t you let me take you out someday?” He says suddenly, well aware that you’ll probably never remember he said it in the first place. 

If anything, he’s testing the waters for his own sake. He’d hate himself forever if he didn’t at least take advantage of this moment a little bit. 

“Then who will watch my daughter?” You respond in slurred speech, not even comprehending who it is that’s asking you this question right now. Not even thinking about your history with him, or the family ties. 

He, on the other hand, is quite entertained by the way you don’t bring the history up like he expected. His cock twitches at it, bumping your head just a bit, not enough for you to notice apparently. Fuck, it would be so easy for him to pull it out right now, and just…tap your lips with it. 

Maybe you’d even open your mouth for him. 

“I’ll skip class on a Wednesday, we can go while she’s still in daycare.” He continues through an almost-moan, encouraging the conversation to stay positive.

“Jongseong–” You slur before clearing your throat and sitting back up in a dizzy show of how drunk you are. “You know I can’t do that. It’s too weird.” 

In all fairness, you know he has like…a thing for you. After all, why else would a college dude be spending his weekends here babysitting your kid? It’s not like you haven’t noticed the way he checks you out before you go out for the night. Why would he do all of this if he didn’t have some sort of attraction to you? Sure, you’re taking advantage of it as best as you can despite how you didn’t recognize him at first. 

Despite how deep down, you very well know how attracted to him you are too. 

“Only because you make it weird.” Jay rolls his eyes as he looks at you, spreading his legs out to adjust his comfort, noting the way you glance down to his lap and see it. “I’m a grown man–” He starts, spreading his legs wider, pressing his cock against his pants to the point you can practically see the outline. ”you know this.” He continues, trying to be bold now by reaching forward and moving a strand of your hair from your cheek. 

“You’ve seen it.”

You freeze, suddenly feeling entirely too sober to be talking about this kind of thing with him. With Jongseong. God, his mother would fucking kill you if she found out he’s in your house while you’re out trying to get fucked by whoever is willing to love you temporarily. 

Jay sees you thinking though, and continues to take the advantage now that he’s feeling brave. Now that you’ve seen the twitch in his pants and haven’t moved off the couch, or told him to go home. 

“I saw you watching me when I was cleaning your pool, multiple times.” He whispers snidely. “You stopped when you realized who I am. Why?”

“Jongseo–…” You trail off. “You know this isn’t okay. What would people think of me? There are rules, and I will not go down this route with you.”

A rush of air hits your face and suddenly, warmth hits your cheek. You feel him so close, closer than ever before. It’s dizzying. Jay is over you, hovering with one hand ghosting over your hip. 

“You want to though, don’t you?” He gets even closer now, darting his eyes down at your chest and unable to pull them away. “Knowing how good I am with your daughter? How well I clean up? How strong I can be–”

You swallow hard. For a moment, you almost lean into him. You almost melt right then and there, the need for intimacy so heavy inside of you after being left high and dry, knowing that you’d accept it from just about anyone at this point. But– this is Jongseong. You can’t. 

You really, really, can’t. 

The look of disappointment in his eyes kind of hurts when you’re pushing him away. That playful smirk falling faster than you think your sanity did the day your ex husband left you. 

“This–” You pause, realizing all too well how he’s used your drunken state against you for this conversation. “This is your last paycheck.”

“I don’t think so.” The smirk is back now, except…it’s different. “You know I promised her a Barbie dream house next weekend.” He smiles fully now. “She’s a bit attached, you know, even called me dad by accident the other day.” 

You’re shocked. 

“She…what?”

“You know she’s attached to me already, don’t be selfish.” Jay shrugs at you while rolling his eyes, leaning against the couch again and turning his head to look at you. You try to pretend that you don’t see his hand slightly groping himself. “Guess she misses having a father around. Can’t be too easy for her, especially with her mom going out every weekend trying to fuck guys who would run the second they learn about her.” He ticks his tongue now, as if he’s pitying you more than your daughter. 

“Jongseong, that’s not–”

“That’s not, what?”

“That’s not what I’m doing…” You lower your voice to a near whisper, upset that you couldn’t even enjoy the drunken state you came home in, now feeling entirely too sober, and a little sick in the stomach. 

“Oh, so you haven’t gotten laid since I’ve been here–” He leans closer again now, trying to resume what he was going to do just moments ago. “They haven’t even touched you, have they?” His hands move to your thigh and presses down as if to hold you in place. “Why?”

“I try not to just sleep with anyone.” You lie, knowing you’d sleep with anyone just to feel wanted for once. And you’re trying to ignore his hands on you right now, trying desperately not to like it. It’s the first time a man has touched you in this house since your husband left you. As expected, you almost feel your knees buckle despite sitting comfortably. “I have to be careful, you know?”

“Mm, I know more than you think.” He leans into you, hovering yet again with his upper half over you as he whispers it. “Don’t need to be careful around me though.” He adds, this time trailing his voice right against your jaw, up to your ear. “You must be so frustrated.” He ghosts his lips there for a moment, waiting for you to push him away, or say something, anything, really. 

“Why would I be frustrated?” You lend the smallest of whispers, feeling the goosebumps against your skin rising at the mere thought of giving in just this once.

“Not having anyone to please you.” He adds now, landing a very slight kiss right under your lobe. “Always being used for someone else’s pleasure, maybe?”

You almost nod, feeling weak in your state and thoughts swimming with what if’s, morals, and anxieties. You’re frozen in place despite knowing a simple push would create the distance you need to breathe. 

“Your fingers will never be enough, will they?” He continues, essentially chaining you to this couch with his words alone. You can’t help the fight in your head, you need to feel wanted, and you want so badly to feel needed. “I bet you wish someone would love you for all that you are, not all that you have.” 

It’s silent as you feel his lips press down again, this time moving his body over you almost entirely. You can feel the couch dip a bit as he places all of his weight on a knee, moving his other leg to stand between yours.

“You must need someone to fill that hole in you by now, right? That pussy of yours?” He continues, his tone a bit more snide now as you give in to his hold with shaky breaths. 

And truthfully, Jay has never let himself come on this strong towards someone before. Usually the wives are doing this to him. They’re trying to convince him, encourage him. He’s so fucking horny right now though, with that daze in your eye, your legs spread around his knee, blinking up at him like a cheating wife. As if you want to apologize, as if you need him to forgive you. Need him to make everything better.

“I heard you the other day, you know, talking to your mom–” He smiles, tilting his head to look into your eyes, seeing a small shine in them. “You want another, don’t you?” He continues, moving his lips now just over yours as he, now, presses you firmly against the couch. “You must hate knowing that I’m the only person who can do that for you.” 

“God, Jay.” You immediately buckle, not realizing how suddenly he’s not Jongseong at this moment. He’s someone else. He’s Jay.

“Why don’t you go for girls on campus?! Don’t you have parties to be attending on the weekends instead of being here, trying to parent my chil–”

“Lower that voice of yours,” He whispers, eyes now hooded as he looks at you. “You know she’s asleep.”

God, he’s right. 

“Besides, why would I want them when I have you right here under me–” He tilts his head. “Looking so disappointed that you like it, too.” 

Right then, your moral code shines into the front of your mind at the consideration of giving in.

A weight on one shoulder chanting, “No! What would people say?! What would people think?!”, and then little to no weight on the other shoulder, echoing in a sweet song of “Finally! Someone who will love you! Finally! Someone! Finally!!! Finally!” 

You pause, not knowing at all what to do. Your body wants to push him away, even your mind and soul wants you to push him away. But you know deep down, you’d only push him away to see if he will try again. No man has ever tried for you like this, and you need more of it. 

To feel desired after so long of neglecting this side of yourself, it’s enough to make a person lose their footing in reality. To give in to just about anyone willing to look at you the way he is right now. It’s the fact that you go out to try and find it, and even with this alone, Jay has satisfied you more than any stranger promising to make you cum.

“I…don’t know what to say–” You stutter. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I do.” Jay smiles, glancing at your lips before meeting your eye again. “Why not hand over the reins and relax for a–” His hand dips under your skirt, cupping your sensitive cunt in one hand alone. “Ah, I knew it.” Then, his other hand finds purchase on your chest, lifting your heavy breast in his hand with a blatant, hard squeeze.

After a sharp inhale you look away from him in shame, afraid to admit it despite the truth of it leaking through your panties and onto his palm.

“Wet.” He smiles, no longer looking at you but flicking his eyes back and forth from between your legs, and to your chest. Still, he fumbles around the wet spot, wanting so badly to lift these fingers to his mouth and taste. He’s fantasized about it, about how you’d taste, how warm it would be, what your pussy would feel like against his fingers–

And just as he’s pushing your panties to the side, pads of his fingers touching right where you need them with his eyes hooded and watching you closely, something snaps.

You push his hand away, only to feel him push back, holding you down with more force, gripping your tit tighter, sliding his fingers in before massaging the slit with a blatant moan on his lips. Then, you try again, shoving him back only to hear him chuckle and continue his antics until– you jump to your feet. It felt too good, too grounding to have him touching you like this. You nearly stumble back over the coffee table, but you manage to stand tall and firm despite the fact that even though your mind feels sober, your body is fucking wasted.

“Jongseong.” You argue immediately, using his name the same way you did when he was a child. “Stop.” 

He throws his hands up in defense, raising his brows in surprise. 

“I–” He pauses, staring at you. “I thought you were enjoying it, my mistake.” 

It’s the fact that you were. You were enjoying it too much, and there would have been no defending your actions if you had given in to the feeling. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid. That’s what you are. 

Your ex husband was right all along. Out of everything you’ve accomplished since your heart was shattered, ripped to shreds, stomped on, you’d think it would take a lot more to break you. 

“You ask for too much.” Your ex husband had said once. “You can’t even stand to be alone for one day.” He had said a year or so later. Small digs on who you are and what you need sprinkled into small arguments, only to come more and more from the lips that you kissed and promised to kiss until you die. Until all of his words were to make you feel inadequate. Until everything he said to you stuck with you, forcing your confidence to bury itself six feet under. 

Are you to blame? As it stands, maybe. Why else would you be allowing yourself to consider it? Consider Jongseong, you mean. Never in your life would you have considered him of all people to be the one that you need. 

Never in your life would you have thought he’d be interested in a woman like you, in a situation like yours, with a child. Why did that night with him stick in your head more than every single mean thing your ex husband said to you? Why did his words seem more believable? 

Because you were drunk at the time? Wet, neglected, and drunk? 

Then why is it that you’re sitting here on your day off with your beautiful, bright-eyed daughter rummaging through your purse for whatever catches her eye….and you’re thinking about him? About what he's doing right now, how he’s feeling, if he’s eaten. 

Why is it that you’ve gone the entire week ignoring his texts, asking if you need him to come resume his job as babysitter? Why the fuck do you want to accept after how he took advantage of your state of mind? After he came onto you and tried to manipulate you? 

Despite all of his words ringing true in the back of your head. That was a dirty tactic he pulled on you. Yet, still…you want him back, and god fucking dammit you could cry knowing your daughter called him “dad.” You hadn’t believed him at first, but after this week alone it slipped from her mouth several times. 

“He’s not your dad, baby, that’s just Jay.” You remember correcting her more than once, and all she responded to you with was a confused expression. 

“Why not?” Is what her little voice gave back to you after her child-like brain decided it was fed up with you correcting her very right assumption of the guy who promised her the Barbie Dream House. 

Why not?

Why not?

Well, if you could have an adult conversation with a five year old it would be much easier to answer that. Because he sprayed cheese in your hair. Because you were seventeen and his babysitter when he was ten years old. Because you ogled him without recognizing him as your pool boy. Because of a lot of things.

“Uncle Jay.” You finally corrected her again. 

She shook her head, and continued doing and saying as her little mind pleased. It made you miss having a father around for her though. You think she needs it more than you do. 

And that fucking Barbie Dream house is what brings Jay back. 

Right at your doorstep today, with a gentle knock to the door and a timid smile on his face. He doesn’t even look at you when you open the door, and instead crouches down in front of you with the big, flashy box. He ignores you, tilting himself to look past you and straight at your daughter. 

You hold your breath when she runs to Jay, arms spread open and laughter shrieking in your ears. Your heart aches so much at this moment. 

Given your work schedule, you’d never gotten to see them interact much. He always came over as she was eating her breakfast, and you always came home after she was put to bed. You guess it’s fair that they have a bond now. She doesn’t even run at you like she does for Jay. In fact, the only time she ever did was when she had a bad day at daycare and had a tummy ache. 

She runs to you when she needs you, but she runs to Jay like she wants to. Like she genuinely is attached to him, and his kind smile, and his eyes, and probably that warm embrace that you’ve never let yourself experience.

You watch them, not allowing yourself to melt at the moment because you did not invite him over, nor did you give consent to bring that fucking doll house here. But you can’t say no now, as she clings to his leg when he stands up and looks at you with an almost irritated glint in his eye. 

His eyes trail all over you briefly too, as if checking for any new spots or marks that a man could have put on you. You feel seen, dipping your head to not meet his eye and scratching the back of your neck as if to hide a spot there. There isn’t a mark, it’s just…fear? nervousness? anxiety? 

And then he hauls the box in for her without saying a word to you. You watch him hard now that his back is turned. His voice sounds so loving when he speaks to your child as if she’s an equal. Plopping down on your living room floor with her and opening the large box. 

He Ooo’s and Aahhh’s with her as he pulls each piece out, connecting the walls, the doors, handing her little things to help him with. And both of them are so focused on the task at hand to create a safe space for all of her abused barbie dolls that… you feel invisible.

For the first time ever in front of them both, you feel like you are nothing but a ghost. That he is the single parent. As if you’re forgotten, less loved, not wanted, not even needed. 

There’s a bubbling in your gut when you tear up, reminding yourself that what Jay did that night was probably just, well, he’s a man. Men aim to fuck at all times usually, and you guess you should have expected it at one point from him because, again, you’re aware that he’s attracted to you. Even more aware now. 

But the way you feel right now outshines that. He’s ignoring you to keep your child happy. She is ignoring you because it seems Jay does a better job at it than you do. 

And, well, he’s not holding you down, whispering things in your ear, letting out frustrated little sighs at your drunken or drowsy words now. So, you say nothing. All you can do is go to the kitchen and prepare a snack, trying to force the tears to stay inside of you with quiet sniffles, hoping you can join their little picture perfect moment so that you can be helpful too. 

Your heart swells when they both look at you as you present a plate of snacks. You have to hold back tears again at the way their eyes shine, thanking you for the snacks. Jay’s eyes stay on you a bit longer though, as if saying “See? See what you’re making her go without?” 

You do see it. 

But…it can’t be him. As much as you wish it could be, you just can’t. There has to be another man out there just like him, one that doesn’t have a history with you that would cause whispers and questions. There has to be. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

That moment you witnessed seems to have solidified Jay’s place in your home. Whether it be for babysitting or simply so your child can see him when she’s asking for him (which is often.) It’s kind of an issue, actually, because now the choice isn’t yours anymore and it appears Jay knows that.

You hate that you’re forced to see him for what he is now. How he proves himself over and over again to be the man you need. The issue is that you still don’t want it to be him. The bigger issue is that he’s breaking down your walls, doing little things for you, looking at you with those dark eyes– your resolve cracks and reminds you every time he’s here that maybe it could work. Maybe you’ll give him a chance. Maybe you won’t have to go out anymore looking to fill a void that no one else fits into. 

It’s the way that now, you can’t help but to compare him to your ex husband. The man who you loved for so long, who you genuinely thought you’d spend your life with happily and safely. Now, compared to Jay, your ex seems like…nothing. Like a little crack in your resolve. He was older than you by just two years, took care of you for so long, impregnated you, and slowly but surely throughout all that time grew to resent you too.

You still don’t know why, but perhaps it’s just because you were growing into your own. You were becoming more independent, though he never had the capability to realize just how much you depended on him during the very time he left you. 

“I just don’t want to do this anymore.” Your ex had said to you on that fateful morning. 

Your belly was big as you tried to waddle up to him when he said that. You can’t help but think back now and wonder how pathetic you must have seemed when he yanked his arm from your grip, especially due to the difficulty of your pregnancy already. You were sick through most of it, only having a few good days here or there where that pregnancy glow would make your ex husband second-guess himself. 

The slam of the door after that was more exhausting than the months of pregnancy you’d gone through. It felt loud, so loud you could hear it vibrate throughout your whole body. You recall falling to the floor and carefully holding your stomach. It’s like all of the heartbreak pooled there. The loss of your husband three weeks before he got to meet the child he was supposed to love. Her little heart must have been breaking inside of you too. 

Double the pain.

And then you were mending yourself on your own. Going into labor early from stress,  your family helped take care of you more than her. You were needier. You were broken. 

And never, fucking ever, did you think you’d find yourself sitting comfortable in your lavish home realizing that your ex-husband didn’t deserve all of that pain from you. He left you for that girl, and not two months later did she leave him. 

Never did you think you’d find yourself thinking about Jay as a replacement either. Well, not a replacement, but like, maybe just…he’s the idea of a perfect dad if you pay attention to how your child talks about him. How they act together. How she cries for him before bed when he’s not there, asking you why you don’t read to her the way Jay does. Why don't you sing to her the way he does? Why don't you use the same voices for her dolls? Why you don’t cut her food like he does, why you don’t do this or that.

That’s what makes it click the most you think. The fact that Jay has given her something you never can. The love of a father. It doesn’t even feel like he’s babysitting at this point, he’s parenting, teaching her lessons, bandaging small boo-boos, fixing her hair,…cooking dinner, cleaning…existing here like he belongs.

Jay has done more for your daughter than your ex husband ever could have, more than you could have done for her too, you think. 

Even now, as you come home night after night and see him, you struggle to see him as anyone that isn’t who your daughter needs. Maybe who you need. 

His summer semester is coming to an end too, and it’s hard to see him as a college student now. He really does coursework and everything that needs to be done at your home all within a single work day? With no complaints at all? Lately, you’ve noticed that he’s been more focused on studying when he babysits too, but still your daughter listens to him better than she listens to you. 

Yet, still, it’s like you’re avoiding each other as you go through the motions, but you notice him more. You feel more discomfort because of it, mostly because you know your resolve about this is breaking. There’s a fear inside of you that revolves around him.

What if you missed your chance? 

What if it does end up being a mistake if he still wants you?

You don’t know what to do, but you know you want him. 

Some nights, Jay does sleep over due to exhaustion and you don’t even ask him to leave because you know he’s not doing it to try anything. The avoidance is loud. Lately, you come home from work and there he is, sitting up with his laptop on his lap but sound asleep, softly snoring. Each time, you remind yourself of how he’s sacrificing his study time to babysit. You know your child can be distracting and needy when she wants something too, but he doesn’t complain even a little bit. The least you could have done was bring him a blanket, which you did. And you woke the next morning to find him curled up on the same couch, laptop toppled over onto the floor.

Small, gentle acts of kindness towards each other but never face to face. You’ve woken to fresh coffee countless times, made exactly the way you like it because you know he’s watched you make it yourself. You’ve come home to re-stocked items, like milk and eggs, laundry detergent, and even toothpaste. It’s nice, and a small indication that he doesn’t resent you. Even through face-to-face avoidance on your part.

Tonight seemed different though, compared to all of the other nights when you can’t go out. You walked through the door to the smell of dinner and your child still awake, sing-songing at you the moment you walked in. 

“Dad said I can stay up late!” 

You quirk a brow, her calling him that now becoming a regular occurrence to the point it goes through one ear and out the other for you. You recall discussing her bed time though, with absolutely no exceptions.

“Did he now?” You hug her before taking off your coat, walking with her to the kitchen where you find Jay, placing down a small plate on the table with cartoon characters on it, right in front of two bigger plates with bigger portions of delicious looking food placed neatly on it.

Your heart swells, but your anxiety grows twice as big alongside it. This. 

This is what you’ve wanted for so long. This is what you never thought you could find. So, why is it that you still have push-back in your mind? Despite knowing that Jay has proven himself time and time again, you want to argue?! 

Perhaps it’s because you like the way he tries. Maybe you’re not ready to lose that feeling of being chased in some way, of being begged to let him stay. Maybe it’s because you begged your husband, desperate for him to keep you, but he left anyway. It feels like Jay gives you power over yourself, over your love-life, over everything, really. 

And if you were to actually accept his advances, even just a dinner on your table, what if he stops? What if he gets bored once he gets what he wants? After all, he’s still young, you can’t truly imagine he wants to do this forever. 

Not with you, and not with your daughter either. 

“What’s all this? Isn’t it a bit late for her to have dinner?” You question him instantly, anxiety bubbling up out of assumption alone. 

“We had a small snack a few hours ago.” Jay reassures you. “I finished my exams and had a burst of energy to celebrate, besides, it’s a Friday–” He goes to pull out a chair for you. “You don’t need to be up early either. A late dinner every now and then never hurt anybody.”

The way this is the first time the two of you have had a face-to-face conversation since…that night. His voice calms you, and that’s scary. 

You huff, happy because you could easily melt into this chair and pretend you’re having a family dinner, like you always wanted, like you never rejected a touch from him that you desperately wanted. You could just play along and pretend Jay is everything you need. Except, it wouldn’t even be pretending at this point. The whole idea of him has changed. But, again, that anxiety. You still have that little voice holding you back, no matter what you want, or what you need, you fear it’ll be ripped from you again if you were to let yourself be weak for another person.

“I’m really tired, Jongseong.” You explain, walking past the kitchen and towards your bedroom. “Thanks for dinner but I’m not too hungry and I just want to lay down.”

And with that, he watches you leave. No real appreciation, no congratulations on him finishing his exams, not even a kiss to your child’s forehead. Is he still expected to be the one to put her to sleep? 

Why is he even here? Why did he do all of this? 

His patience is running dry.

So, he eats with your child as your plate goes cold and he leaves it there. If you can’t even handle a dinner at the table with the person who cooked it, you can deal with your own fucking plate. Throw away your own fucking food, wash your own fucking dish. And if you can’t tuck your child into bed, he’ll do it, but you can shove that fake ass exhaustion right up your ass for all he cares. 

He knows you’re not exhausted. He’s seen you when you are. You’re just being an asshole to him at this point, trying to appear like you’re perfectly happy with the life you live when your drunken rants prove otherwise. You treat him like everything he does has an ulterior motive. Which, yeah, maybe it does, but he was genuinely excited to have someone celebrate the end of this semester with him. Maybe assuming you’d indulge him went too far. For the first time, he wasn’t doing it to impress you.

By the time Jay gets your daughter to bed, all tucked in with a little tune to fall asleep to, he closes her door and just stands there in the silence on the other side of it. 

You must really enjoy being a single mother, huh? This is why too. He always questioned it. You’re so attractive, so well-adjusted. You work hard, your daughter is a sunshine in this world, and you’ve not managed to find anyone to love you yet? He thought he was lucky to be the one getting to spend time with you. 

Turns out, you refuse to let anyone in despite Jay knowing, fucking seeing straight through you. You want something from someone. You need it, yearn for it, even. But it’s almost laughable at the way you refuse it. 

Excuses, excuses, excuses. 

It’s the fucking audacity you have taking advantage of him. You’ve practically led him on. You lend him everything he wants in life. That’s it. You lend it. From flaunting yourself before you go to bars, to exposing all the marks you allow other men to leave on you. Letting him stay in this house, father your child, cook, clean, mend, fix, heal. 

From being a faux-father to being minimized to a college student that you used to babysit. He’s offered you relief in so many ways including sexual, and all you fucking do is avoid, deny, fucking reject him. You still go out to bars, later and later you’ll come home with new swells against your skin, but always looking so empty and disappointed. Sometimes he thinks you try to make him jealous. Sometimes, he thinks you want him to try again. 

Sometimes, he thinks you get off on the fact that he keeps trying.

And he has tried. Albeit more gently lately, but he has. Small, lingering touches when he hands you your coat to help you get out the door and to work quicker. Starting your car for you before you leave. Fuck, he even opens the goddamn door for you. Anything to make you feel appreciated, respected, and fucking wanted.

The silence is loud in his ears due to the sheer irritation as he drops his head, staring at his feet and knowing it’ll only take a few strides to reach your bedroom. A room he still craves to be in.

He’s raided those drawers by now, because of course he has. Soiling your panties, your sheets, anything that still smells like you when you’re gone for the day, all so he can act normal upon seeing you when you come home. He’s laid in your bed by now too, wondering what it would feel like to have your weight beside him. He fantasized about anything and everything he possibly could in there.

And he’s always warmer. Always cums the hardest with weak, muffled moans as he stuffs your pillows into his mouth to keep quiet. All before cleaning every trace of himself there, closing the door, and wishing he was allowed to exist in there with you. 

Right now will be the first time Jay enters your room to your knowledge, and it sucks for him because he has essentially trained himself to get hard every time he opens this fucking door. Still, he composes himself, and it’s a bit of a shock if you’re being honest.  You thought he’d go home after this, you were kind of hoping he would after you made it so awkward. 

You felt guilty the second you saw his expression fall to your rejection of eating dinner like a big fucking happy family. You want it so bad, you want him so bad.

When you left the kitchen, you immediately went to your room and hopped in the shower, well aware that he wouldn’t follow you. You thought hard while the hot water made attempts to wash away your feelings. Would it have been so bad to just eat with him? With your daughter? With both of them? The way his eyes fell, it burned your heart a little bit.

Still, no answers came to you because you know part of you just wants to see what else he will do for you. Despite the history with him, and despite knowing his entire family would question and scoff at you for it…Is it really so wrong? To want to give him a chance just to see if he’ll leave you too? 

Just to see if it’ll hurt when he does it too?

Inviting him to your home almost every day of the week isn’t wrong, right? Forgetting to pay him all those times before, hoping to see him again and get that confidence boost, that wasn’t wrong. Letting your daughter attach herself to him when you swore he wasn’t permanent, no longer having the energy to correct her use of “dad” towards him… none of that is wrong.

 It’s all Jay. He’s the one in the wrong for willingly following along, not you. Right? 

And as you’re sitting on your bed in your towel, zoning out and staring at your floor, Jay swings your bedroom door open without a single knock, mindfully closes it, and immediately goes off on you.

Somehow, you really expected him to accept your rejection but your heart swells that he didn’t. You don’t think he ever will, and you’re exhausting yourself hoping he’ll prove you wrong.

He’s shown you enough by now. This is what breaks down that wall inside of you, isn’t it?

“What am I doing wrong?” He shoots his first question out in a desperate whisper shout, eyes searing into you before continuing without a single breath. “Because I do everything for her, and i do everything  for you, does that really make you so fucking uncomfortable?”

“J–” You try to respond, feeling your skin prickle at the sheer irritation in his expression.

He’s fighting for you.

“Isn’t that what you want?!”

“After everything I do–” He throws his hands up now, running his fingers through his hair as if you make him feel like he wants to rip it out. “After trying to make your life easy while making mine harder, for what? You to not eat the fucking food I made? For you to go to the bar all the time just to come back disappointed like I’m not right here waiting for you to come back?” 

“What ar-”

“Don’t ask me any stupid fucking questions, Just answer me.” He drops his hands, stepping up to you, placing both hands on either side of your hips, doing his best not to react to your near-naked body. “Why?”

You lean back, trying to create more distance to try and give him an answer that you don’t even know yourself, but he just keeps closing in. Not letting you escape this time. You’ve never seen him so riled up before, it’s…

Well…

“Because I came onto you? Because I tried to do what no one else will do for you?” His voice shakes when he says it, and you can feel the heat radiating from him. Is he…about to cry?

Only now, seeing him so close with an entirely sober brain do you realize an answer. Maybe not to his question of why, but to the same question you’ve been asking yourself. It’s because of that look in his eye. You’ve never been able to put a word to it, but now with him demanding you explain yourself so closely, you see it.

He’s desperate. 

Arguably as desperate as you’ve felt to fill the void. Except, he’s trying to do that for you and you won’t let him out of what? Fucking fear? Hell, at this point the history means close to nothing when it comes to all the new memories he’s made in this home, even without you. The history of babysitting him, the history of your ex husband leaving you. It doesn’t matter.

You think hard, so hard that you feel your eyes burn as you stare up at him. Glancing without intention to his jaw when he clenches it, to his neck when he swallows his words, to his lips, his eyes, the hair falling in his face…and you just–

You reach up, running a soothing hand through his hair to get it out of his face. Then you see those same desperate eyes somehow grow more desperate as he lowers them, leaning into the touch, as if you’ve been starving him the same way you’ve been starved for years. He falls silent too, cutting himself off mid-question just to feel you touch him for the first time.

“I don’t know.” You say, which seems like a better answer than having an excuse. What can you say otherwise? That it’s because it shouldn’t  be him? That you’re afraid he’ll realize he’s not ready to settle? To be a dad? He’ll ask why, and it’ll be the same answer you gave on that drunken night. An answer that you no longer care about. 

You babysat him when he was a child, but you were still a child too. 

You were still a child, and time changes things.

Your ex husband left you, and you’re afraid he will too, especially because he’s so much younger? Who cares?

Your answer seems to fly right past his head though, because he’s still leaning to feel your fingers in his hair, and he’s looking at you as if nothing you say will matter unless you make it hold some weight to him. 

“Jongseong–” You pause, scratching right at his nape, uncaring of how you can feel your towel loosening on your body. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Somehow, his name on your lips is what he needed to hear. The tone of it, the rasp in your voice, your fingers in his hair. Actions speak louder than anything the two of you could say right now, and he can’t help it. Nothing can stop him, not even you at this point. 

He hasn’t done anything wrong you say? It’s because he fucking knows what you need.

You inhale deeply, holding your breath when you feel your back hit your mattress, his warm hands instantly taking advantage of your freshly-showered state and tugging at the towel just slightly to let it fall open. You hear a slight breath from him at that moment, an inhale. There, he climbs onto the bed, nudging himself between your legs and trapping you there under him, both hands holding your arms down.

Like he’s afraid you’ll reject him again.

“You’re going to let me take care of you now.” He demands, though to him it sounds more like a plea solely due to the fact that he’s so fucking turned on it’s unreal. That feeling of when your fingers were in his hair? Seeing your naked body? Unshaved pussy? Being in this fucking room with you? It throws him into overdrive, especially with the way you just lay there blinking up at him in surprise. The anger melting away only amplifies it more. 

How could you do this to him? Genuinely, how could you have let him fucking suffer for you like this? 

Still, you blink up as if you’re a deer caught in headlights and it makes his heart thump against his ribcage. Your eyes are so bright, that glint of sadness he had seen so many times isn’t there right now. And there’s so much adrenaline inside of him, like he needs to move fast before you change your mind again. You’ve not let him do this for some fucking reason or another and now you’re just laying here for him.

 There, with your entire body on display, and you appear to be docile. Fucking obedient? Like he always knew you would be if you’d just drop the fucking act?! You were meant for him and him alone, and he’s going to show you why.

In all honesty, you’re tired of denying yourself by now. From the moment you saw him that day cleaning your pool for the first time, you’ve wanted him on some level. It wasn’t an emotional attachment, but a hope, a fantasy for you. And when you recognized him, you were more impressed with him than embarrassed. You tried not to let your eyes wander out of guilt, out of feeling like a pervert. 

And then, that day when he came onto you, he was just a man to you. Your faux guilt kept you from letting him, and your hope to be chased kept you from it too. As if you’ve never pleasured yourself to the thought of him, shamefully in this very bed. As if you’ve never called out his name with a silent breath. If you keep going at this point, you’ll lose him before ever knowing what he could really be for you. 

This is his last ditch effort to beat you at your own game, and you’re ready to lose.

  So, now, you let yourself get lost in him. In  his eyes and the way he pleads and makes his demands. He probably doesn’t recognize his strength against you right now, or how much it’s turning you on. With the way he has both hands on your wrists, probably bruising them, and there’s nothing you could do even if you wanted to. His weight holding you down feels better than you imagined. 

After so long, with so many failed hookups where you’ve told them of your daughter and all they’ve done in return is get their orgasm then leave…Jay. He wants to take care of you? 

He wants to…give you what you need?

Fuck, you know he can. That’s the fucked up part. He’s proved it so many times to you in so many ways. You’ve watched him, the way he moves and acts around you. He’s exactly what you need. You pushed him to this point, where his sanity is on the brink of crashing. Taking it away from him again feels wrong, because it’s exactly what you want.

And when he presses his leg between yours, he knows.

“Again?” He comments, now releasing your wrist from one hand and running it down, able to slip his fingers right into the slick of your bare pussy. “You’re wet.” 

You still just blink up at him with an intake of breath at the pleasure, thoughts running left and right on what to do, finally realizing you don’t want to do a damn thing. He’d do it all if you let him. Clean your house, be a father, fix all of the breaks, make you wet.

And you just feel him, the way his fingers play around with what he does to you. You can practically feel his confidence rise at the way you spread your legs a bit more, as if to give him more access. When you look at him, his expression remains harsh, but slowly he moves himself down, lips brushing over one of your nipples while keeping eye contact.

Still that irritated look, like he’s mad you haven’t let him do this before now.

“How many times are you going to pretend like I’m not the one who gets you wet?” He asks before rubbing circles around your clit, tongue flicking in the same way around your nipple. “Like I don’t have a right to take care of you?”

Your breath is still caught in your throat, trying to be careful about what you say right now despite knowing you can’t speak. You focus on what he’s doing instead, losing yourself to something you’ve not felt in far, far too long. 

He’s right. He’s gotten you wet more than once by now. More than he knows. 

And goddamn, he knew your tits could bounce, but the way they move without the support of a bra, the plush, soft feeling of your nipple growing erect in his mouth, all for him to bite and pull at. He does it too, listening to the little seething sound of pain from you when he pulls all the way back with your nipple between his teeth. Only to let it fall from his mouth and break eye contact with you to see the jiggle as it falls.

His cock twitches, at everything that you are right now, feeling more pleasure through seeing you like this alone compared to fucking his own fist on your bedroom floor. He notes how your legs squeeze him more at the nipple stimulation than his fingers too, memorizing the way your labia falls open between them. He smirks, flicking his tongue more, quicker. 

There. There it is.

A low rumble in your chest falls from your lips. Soft, a moan. A very small, delicate sound.

“You like this?” Jay asks, looking up at you, letting his tongue fall from his mouth again and flicking the erect nub. “When I play with your tits?”

You nod, throwing an arm over your face in embarrassment that this is actually happening. You’re letting him. Already you feel yourself heat up more, even when he takes his fingers away from your clit and instead, uses them to flick your other nipple. 

And he does this for a few minutes. Paying special attention to your tits, going back and forth with his fingers and tongue to each bud, trying so hard to not stop just to shove his cock between them and use them the way he’s always wanted. He focuses on drawing out more and more little sounds from you instead, slurping his own saliva from your painfully erect nipples, pulling back, blowing cold air, then warming it up again with his lips. All while simultaneously groping, flicking, and pinching with his other hand. 

“Jesus, Jay–” You moan quietly, chest rising and falling as he squeezes and licks against you. 

That’s right, say his name. Let him fucking know he’s doing what you like. Jay thinks, feeling his cock weep in his pants as he does it. Wondering just how sensitive you are to be reacting like this to simple nipple stimulation. God, he’s wanted to suck on these for so long, and now you’re letting him. They’re so big, so plush. He wants to fucking cover them with his mouth, he wants to bury his face in them, kiss them all over them. 

And if they were to get bigger? He moans at the thought, remembering that conversation you had with your mom. You want another. He bets they’d swell up–Oh, fuck yeah. They’d probably hurt to rub against your shirt. God, fuck, he can’t control his thoughts right now.

 Finally. 

Fucking finally, he has you and he’s not going to let you run away again.

He doesn’t fucking care if it’s forward. He wants what he wants, you want what you want. That want just so happens to line up. Besides, he’s already proved himself to you, he knows it. If you’re letting him do this, maybe you’d let him stay like this. 

“Did they get bigger?” He moans briefly as he swaps to your other nipple again. “So full, so heavy, were they leaking all over you?”

You listen to him, trying not to feel the pit in your stomach bubble with even more arousal at his blatant and dirty words, feeling your clit throb at the stimulation your tits are getting right now. 

“Makes my dick fucking throb just thinking about it. Fuck–” 

“Let me give you another,” He mumbles now, almost mindlessly before looking up at you with an intense gaze as he bites down, indicating that he’s not mindless about it at all. 

“Swell you up, make you glow–”

Oh. 

Why is that– why are you dripping?

He hears that moan you let out. Different from the others, almost desperate.

“Mm, yeah.” He encourages it, now allowing his hand to travel back down to witness how much wetter you’ve gotten at those words. So messy, so perfect. “Knew you’d want it raw.”

You can’t help the nod, as it comes before you even process his words solely because you feel his fingers slip inside of you. You haven’t been this wet in so, so long. You want to feel it. To be full again, of anything. Of him.

“Ye-” You start, interrupting yourself with a bite of your lip and your eyes rolling back. 

“That’s right mama,” He coos, tilting his fingers up and amplifying the pressure inside of you. “Gonna let me take good care of this pussy, yeah?” He adds, lifting from your tits and ghosting his lips over yours. 

He watches you closely, that daze in your eye. God, you look so horny right now. There’s nothing more he wants than to see this time and time again. To let you wake up every morning with his warm cum inside of you, to see your belly swell with his child, to see your tits grow until they hurt. 

He’d take care of you. He’d take good fucking care of you. 

“Say something.” Jay whispers against your lips, darting his tongue out against your lips, angling his fingers up and making you moan. “Say you want me to give it to you raw.”

You open your mouth, feeling his tongue lick and swallow up that moan you just gave him before you try to compose yourself. You can’t help it, you’re so, so sensitive right now and you can’t help but find it incredibly sexy to be here, laid bare, while he’s still fully clothed.

Like he really is doing this for you. He’s not trying to get his own orgasm and leave. You’re weak and those words of “let me give you another” shines in your head. Weak, you’re weak. You should be thinking about condoms, you should be thinking about the consequences of this. 

But you’re not. 

You do like it raw.

“Jay–” You stutter as you try to grasp the reality of his words, feeling his fingers repeatedly hit right where you need it. “I’m…not protected.”

He moans. Loudly, before huffing out an irritated groan.

“You must really want it then.” He narrows his eyes at you. “Going out all the time trying to get fucked–” 

He plunges his fingers in again, deep, and holds them there as he pulls back to look at you. To really look at you, then he glares.

“You’d really let just some fucking dude give you a baby?” 

You repeatedly shake your head. 

“No!” You retort, thrusting your hips up. “I just–”

“Mhm,” He pulls his fingers out now, sliding himself down so fast that you can barely comprehend him sucking your clit into his mouth before pulling back in a moan at the taste of you. “If mama wants another, daddy will give her one.” He says now, as if to pacify you.

As if to give you everything. 

And you’d argue, really, you would.  You want another child so bad, but this is– it’s too soon. You haven’t even established a relationship with him yet. Boundaries haven’t been discussed. His college plan– but fuck it’s not entirely your fault that you’re like, super turned on by the idea of it. To the thought of being so filled with cum that there’s no possible way you couldn’t end up pregnant. An indication that, no matter what, no man at a club could fulfill the arousal for you even if they cared to do it. 

You’d never have let them actually fuck you raw. 

Jay though…how can you keep telling him no?

How could you reject him again when you want it so badly? 

Fuck now, think later.

“Yeah–” You say against your better judgement, hands reaching down to his hair so you can grind up against his mouth, lost to the arousal as you mimic what he referred to himself as. “Daddy?”

You feel his mouth fall slack at that, as if you’re accepting him in full now. You feel your clit hit nothing in his open mouth, but it throbs harder. 

 He knew you were slightly into him for letting him do this at all, but now, you’re truly accepting it. Like you know he’ll fucking do it, like you want him to fucking do it.

“That’s right,” He moans against your clit as he licks at it, barely able to comprehend your voice calling him that but clinging to it all the same.  “Gonna let daddy do it all for you.”  

Yeah. You are. You’re gonna let him do it. All of it. 

And then, the room is enveloped in quiet moans, more from Jay than from you due to your breath being stuck in your throat. His tongue, licking every part of your sensitive cunt, his hands reaching back up to your tits, fondling, pinching, painfully tugging at them as he moans louder, louder, louder for you to want him.

He presses his hips up and against your mattress as he tastes you, so deeply it hurts his cock to neglect it like this. Each rub feels raw, twitching and pulsing to be let out, to be inside of you, on you, against you. Filling you up with his cum, plugging it in as a promise that you can’t leave him even if you wanted to. 

He’s going to fucking do exactly what he said he would. 

And only when you feel his tongue lap against your hole do you finally release your breath, “Daddy” coming out in a choked back sob. It breaks him, his body going into overdrive as he pulls back and just– stares at you with wild eyes. 

You stare back up at him, knowing that calling him that means something more than a cringe little roleplay kink. It means something deeper to him. He wants to be a dad, a real one.

“Oh yeah?” He finally says, hands going straight to his button and zipper. 

You can’t help it, biting your lower lip as you blink up, watching his shoulders move, the veins on his arms protruding as he rushes to pull it out and– oh. You moan at it, the way his heavy, slicked up, cock falls out, heavy, needy. 

“Daddy–” You urge him on, knowing that it’s driving him absolutely insane. 

“Mhm?” He shuffles himself off the bed, letting his pants drop as he lifts his shirt off of him and fucking glares at your tits. “You want daddy’s cock?”  He adds now, shooting his eyes up to you as both of his hands land on your legs.

Your mind goes blank when you feel him slide his hands around to the back of your thighs, pushing your legs forward, curling you in on yourself, forcing your pussy to be out and on display for him. 

And you watch him, the way he stares down at it. It’s embarrassing to be so seen right now, not having expected to get fucked open by anyone tonight, let alone him. You probably should have shaved or something, or like, not gotten out of the habit in the first place. But he moans at it, mouth falling open at the fact that you are entirely a fucking woman. 

A fucking mother.

The prettiest pussy he’s ever fucking seen let alone tasted.

And he moans, breaking the silence, forgetting only for a moment how long he’s been wanting this. It boosts your confidence more than you’ve ever felt. His reaction to this is more than your ex husband’s reaction to you when you were pristine and borderline pornstar quality. 

Jay doesn’t see you as used and neglected, he just sees you. And this. This is the pussy he wants. This is what he wants to put his baby in. 

When he flicks his eyes back to you, with that same open mouthed expression, it knocks the breath out of you. There’s so much love in his eyes, or maybe lust, you don’t care. You think you’re matching that expression for him too, because it’s like he can’t hold back anymore. He can’t just sit and look at you anymore. 

He just can’t.

And you feel it, his thick head pushing past the tightened, pulsing hole and not stopping. He pushes in slowly, painfully slow, to the point you’re both looking at each other with a slack jaw. Finally. The pain of it, the pleasure, the fucking need you’ve been trying to fulfill. 

That look on your face drives him wild too, he knows he has you by now. You like it, you love the way he slides in and makes damn sure you feel it the way he does. Every second of the slide pries you open, and he wants to remember this moment forever. He wants you to fucking remember too. 

Wants you to know that no one will ever fit inside of you so perfectly, so deeply.

When he finally bottoms out, he leans forward to keep himself buried deep as he ghosts his lips over yours. He feels the way you try to kiss him, but he pulls back with a confident smirk. 

“When was the last time you’ve felt a cock so deep in you?” He whispers hotly, knowing you need not answer. Knowing you won’t answer, not with the way you’re instantly lifting your head and kissing him. 

Your pussy pulses around him when you lick into his mouth, the first real kiss sending his heart soaring. He twitches inside of you with each squeeze, and kisses you harder, deeper. And somehow, it brings tears to your eyes. 

The way he kisses, the way he makes you feel him. Fuck, the way he makes you feel whole, so wanted, like you’re amazing to him. In more ways than just a body to fuck, but he’s stuck around despite all of your avoidance and rejections. You hope you’re making it worth it. 

Fuck, you need to feel worth it to him.

“You’d better not fucking pull out.” You groan through a breath, his lips still kissing you through your words as he finally pulls his hips back, fucking in once. 

Hard.

Honestly, could you have said anything else at this moment? He’s trying to make this last, he needs it to last. If you keep fucking talking, saying everything he’s ever wanted to hear– 

“Fuck,”  He moans, his hands moving up to your cheeks as he licks into your mouth. “You can’t–”  He continues, fucking in again, moving your body up with each thrust do to the sheer force of him trying to plunge in as deep as he can. “You can’t fucking say that to me right now.”

You’re seeing stars though, unable to say anything else as your eyes roll back at the way the head of his cock practically kisses your cervix with each push into you. He’s so rough, so desperate for it. 

You don’t think he expected you to respond either, with the way he keeps his lips on yours, his body pressed so closely that having your legs to your chest means nothing to him now. Mating press be damned, he’s lost his mind to the feeling, not the aesthetic of being a fucking dad. 

Your legs wrap around him instead, and he’s all to happy to feel it. Your legs hug him the same way your arms do, the same way your pussy does, and he’s fucking in love with you. 

He braces one hand back against your leg, holding it against his hips as he continues to fuck forward, still at the same pace. Deep and with purpose. Every few seconds the bursts of pleasure run through him, making him shiver and moan into your mouth. Little grunts, near whimpers for you to let him give you the world. 

More than this. More than fucking, more than taking care of you, more than anything he could ever possibly give you. He’ll find a way. 

And then, you’re clenching hard, matching his near-whimpers except moaning in full pants, babbling and drooling cries against his mouth. 

“Mama–” Jay soothes, continuing his pace as he tilts his head back to get a good look at that lost gaze in your eyes. “You’re crying?”

You nod with a laugh, tears rolling down the same way the wet of your cunt slips down your ass. You’ve never felt so good, so fucking full.  And for some reason, that does him in. Making it last be damned, he genuinely thinks he’s won you over. He can make it last next time, he can do more next time, he can–

He leans back all the way now, onto his knees as your legs try to hug him back to you, and his eyes go straight back to those tits. The way he made a promise. The way they bounce, slick with his sweat from pressing against you. 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He grunts in a breath, now quickening his pace and snapping his hips. Pulling out all the way briefly to plunge into your again. “Can’t get any deeper–” He continues, flicking his eyes from your face, to your tits, to that beautiful pussy of yours swallowing him up. 

Now his eyes roll back, hands going back to your thighs to push you back into position. No way in hell can he last, not at a pace like this, inside of a woman like you. 

“Don’t pull out.” You repeat again in a breath, seeing his face and the way he focuses solely on you. You know he’s going to cum, and you want him to. You want to feel it, every single fucking drop of it. 

“Yeah?” He nods his head with laser-focus on your pussy now, staring down as he points tight, short thrusts inside of you. “Momma wants my cum? Hm?”

Oh, he’s fucking gone.

“She likes it?” He continues to talk himself up. “Likes being so fucking full of it? Yeah?” 

Goddamn, fuck, he’s insane. 

“Yes, daddy!” You whisper-shout, fingers shooting to your clit, other hand raising to your mouth to silence the moans as to not be too loud. 

“Fuck, yeah you do.”  He lets out a near growl, his voice low and rumbled as he slaps your hand away, pressing hard on your clit with his thumb as he buries himself in you once more and stiffening his abs. “That’s right.”

And instantly upon feeling him pulse, that first spurt of cum painting your insides, you lose yourself with him. Your fingers drop from your mouth and you release a pornographic moan for him, rutting yourself against him, as if to fuck it deeper into you. 

It only prolongs the orgasm though, for both of you. 

Jay is silent, trying to keep his eyes open through the pleasure as you pulse and squirt around him, his thumb pressing so hard  into your clit, his cock cumming so deep, filling you up so well– He wants to see it. Wants to watch you fall apart for him. Wants to witness the way you let him do this. 

And he holds himself there, so hard and so full of pleasure for you. Keeping himself practically impaled against your cervix until your body falls slack. Still, he fucks it into you, holding you in place with a softer moan now. No longer guttural or deep from his chest. His breathing is rough, a soft, near feminine moan leaves his lips as he falls forward onto you. 

You wince along with him at the sensitivity, panting, a sweating tangle of a mess the two of you have become. And it’s the fact that it’s the first time you’ve ever gotten off at the same time as someone else. You feel…soft. 

Your hands find their way to his hair as his face squished against your tits while he regains breath, not daring to move his hips because your pussy is too warm to leave right now. You brush the sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes, running your fingers all the way back to his nap, and then slowly down his back to rub and scratch.

He shivers at the feeling, humming the same feminine-tone he had released previously. And all he can do is hear your heart thumping against your chest, even through these soft tits of a pillow he’s lying against.

Jay never wants to move again, not from this spot, ever. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“You know I’m in love with you, right?” Jay mentions briefly after a long moment of silence, looking up at you with his wet hair. 

Deep in the night, your food still cold and on the table, you’ve found yourself freshly showered and on your living room couch with Jay’s head on your lap. He made sure to have stayed long enough inside of you to implant…something if it was going to happen. So he didn’t argue a shower, and you didn’t argue letting him join you either. 

He had washed you, gently running his hands between your legs with what you can only describe as the softest, most alluring face a man has ever given you. Like he won the lottery, or found the answer to eternal life or something. You repaid him by letting him admire your tits again while you jerked him off, but that’s besides the point. 

“Like, I’m not going to leave. I hope you know that.” He adds with a soft groan to your hands still in his hair. His new favorite thing. 

You look down at him, hand moving to his cheek as the words hit you in the chest.

There’s anxiety along with happiness, at all of the boundaries and serious conversations that will need to be had now, but still, you feel like you’re glowing when he looks at you.

He didn’t even have to say it, and arguably you probably don’t need to say it back either. You think he sees it in you. Even if he didn’t, you think he’d take anything you give to him and cling to it. After all, it only took one time for you to break entirely for him. 

“Are you now?” You smile with a chuckle, looking back to the tv and pretending to watch it. “Well, that’s good. Otherwise I’d be making you go get a plan B or something.” 

His eyes narrow at you.

“Like hell I’d let you, even if I didn’t love you.” He groans. “But I do, so don’t ever say that shit again.”

You chuckle, feeling the calm in your home that once felt so chaotic. It’s quiet now, both inside and outside of your head. 

“Congratulations, by the way.”

He looks at you with question, quirking a brow.

“For finishing your finals, I mean.” You smile, going back to petting through his hair and feeling like you’re on top of the world, despite what you assume to become half of your world lying his head on top of you. 

“Oh, right.” He smiles, now turning his head to watch the tv. “I probably failed them.”

You don’t believe that, but even if he did, you think you could be what he needs too. He wouldn’t have to work if he didn’t want to.

If he’s really in love with you, all he’d have to do is…not leave. 

“Are you sure you want to be having these conversations with me? You can just call it a hook-up.” You finally say, hoping he means it, knowing it breaks your heart a bit to give him an out. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m going to trap you here just because I’m a little smitten too.” 

Jay glares, blinking up at you.

“I literally just tried to put a baby in you.” 

That’s fair. 

“And you’re not going to run off? Get cold feet?” 

“Can you stop doubting me and just let me do what I want for once?” He argues playfully. “Do you even know how much that barbie fucking dream house costed me? I couldn’t run even if, for some stupid ass reason, wanted to. I love her too.”

Silence for a moment.

“Maybe even more than I love you.” 

You really, really, want to believe him.

So, you do. ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ please remember to like and reblog! feedback would be lovely too, of course ; 3 ; i'm not below begging.

[northopalshore]

hiii Gaia <33

I have my asteroid union in my 5th house in pisces, what does that mean??

Hello!

I want to elaborate on this ask & just give the scenarios of meeting your future spouse through asteroid union (1585 ) in the natal chart. Where the 7th house ruler is in your chart will also tell you how you meet. You can still apply the contents of this post to that.

Asteroid Union in the Natal Chart

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Union (1585) is an asteroid used to interpret how you'll meet your future spouse. In this post, I'll be focused on how union will manifest in your meeting in the natal chart. Masterlist

In the houses

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ 1st house

Something about it could be rather personal & by that, I mean you'll be interacting one on one quite often (or during) the time you meet them. You could just be doing something on a whim as well. Somewhere where the main point is you (can manifest in a multitude of ways).

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚2nd house

You could be purchasing something when you meet them. You could also be at the comfort of your own home or anywhere with some sort of purchasable service i.e mall, shopping websites, etc. Money or some sort of transaction is likely involved. Could also be on dating sites (if aspected w libra or leo) or on the internet, somewhere with their faces voice or even writing.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚3rd house

Online, talking, learning. Your mind is being active, your mouth is also playing a part lmao. Could be related to short trips or unexpected travels as well. Bookstores, libraries, internet & school (early education). You could just be a few months/days/hours into a language learning app for example and meet them on the app. Meeting at a conference, through siblings.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚4th house

You could be at the comfort of your own home. Your home town, something related to your mother or family members. Though, you could also meet during childhood or at a time where you're rather immature/young.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚5th house

You could be around children, at school or somewhere related to entertainment. You could be the one entertaining, or seeking entertainment in general i.e movies, carnivals, theatres, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and whatnot. Meeting at concerts or celebrity related events even.

Ex: Ariana Grande has Union in Gemini (°22 Capricorn) in her natal 5th house. She met most of her partners through her career, or while they were working (including Dalton Gomez, he was working as her real estate agent), & usually also involves the arts (because she works w art & performances).

Looking at her 7th house ruler, it's in the 9th house in Libra w a Virgo degree. So everything tracks as well.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚6th house

Meeting at work, in your comfort zone. You could be going along with your regularly scheduled routine when you first meet them. You could start a casual relationship at first perhaps related to work or just someone you'll see quite often here & there. While receiving/providing health care.

Ex: Michael Jackson met Lisa Marie Presley at work & started off as friends. He met Debbie while visiting his regular doctor for his vitiligo.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚7th house

Meeting at work, on dating sites, while you're dating someone else, or even when signing into a new company. You could meet them during weddings as well. Providing a service, working with them. There is some sort of give & take here. You could be in a setting where you're one on one with them as well.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚8th house

You could be offering some sort of service. Since it's the opposite of the 2nd house (buying). It could also be related to something rather taboo or for something meant to be kept as a secret (surprises too). There is always something rather "controversial" around you & your spouse. Could be different religions for example.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚9th house

Teaching something. You could be teaching something or expanding your knowledge. It could be related to foreign things i.e religion, languages, geography or even philosophical knowledge/theory. Literally at university, or while pursuing higher studies/qualifications. Taking chances to broaden your horizons/reach.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚10th house

Meeting at work, when you're doing something big like a project that you're managing or getting a promotion. You could have been working in the same industry for a while before you met. You could meet in very public settings as well; dating shows

Ex: Zendaya has this placement. She met Tom Holland on set while they were working together. It just so happens that the characters they played as were love interests.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚11th house

You could meet them through mutual friends, or through online; communities, or fandoms or even just websites. Somewhere with electronics & technology; repair shops, car dealers, electronic dealers.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚12th house

Meeting from a distance, blind dates, online, through church or religious communities. On a getaway, around supernatural phenomena or just spiritual related things. While getting medication or some sort of treatment .

Note:

If union is in retrograde, you may have been thinking of doing something for a while or may have an inkling towards that person before you actually interact. Either that, or you may not notice that they are the one at first.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

In the signs & degrees

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Aries (°1,°13,°25)

Doing something for yourself, focused on yourselves; doing what you want. Something about it may be quick, you may be acting towards it or initiating the interactions. You're likely the one to make the first move, whether intentionally or not. It may feel rather sudden as well, like you have to act now, or everything is pushing you together quickly. Attraction at first sight.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Taurus (°2,°14,°26)

Similar to the 2nd house, usually money or a certain service is involved. Could be related to your work, or your voice or your words i.e writing. There's something to be gained through your interaction here. There could be a friendly vibe when you first meet. You may keep a rather professional act at first.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Gemini (°3,°15,°27)

Language, communication, directions, fast movement. When you meet, it could be in a busy setting where people are on the go or talking to each other. Could be online, in a classroom, at a public service office. You're immediately comfortable around each other. Being able to talk about anything & everything.

Ex: I have a friend who has Union (°17 leo) in Gemini 1st house rising at °12 pisces. She met her boyfriend (soon to be financé) online while she was bored. She started doing lives & entertaining people (but mostly herself) on Tiktok & met him through there lol. He lives in a different state from her.

Looking at her 7th house ruler (Sagittarius) Jupiter in the 3rd house (Leo) in a Leo degree. Again, she was entertaining herself, having fun talking to a few people on her lives.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Cancer (°4,°16,°28)

Your partners may be the first to approach you. There may be an immediate connection as well. Meeting while you're young, you could choose to get together quite quickly as well. You could meet somewhere comfortable, where you're used to. They could be from the same place you come from or even where you work. A restaurant, house listings, estate sales, etc.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Leo (°5,°17,°29)

Meeting while entertaining people, or when seeking entertainment. Related to excitement, or literally on dating apps. Tiktok, Instagram, games, Tumblr etc. Where people come to connect and have fun. Nothing really serious is going on.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Virgo (°6,°18 )

This is also a sign of working with them, so you could either work in the same industry or just happen to work where they frequent or have business with. At a clinic, a hospital, the gym, anywhere related to your physical wellbeing. Somewhere you frequent.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Libra (°7,°19)

Working with them, or working for them. Similar to the 2nd & 7th house; there is something to be gained from both parties. Could be related to art, beauty, aesthetics, law, a concept, some sort of service that you provide. Just offering something.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Scorpio (°8,°20)

Meeting alone or privately. There's a chance that you're also looking for something or investigating something. Could be related to anything occult or secretive as well. You could be alone when you meet or at least have some time to be with each other one on one to some degree.

Ex: Cristiano Ronaldo has Union in Scorpio (°7 libra) in his 10th house. He met Georgina (his wife & longtime partner) while he was in a Gucci store, & she was working there then lmao. Their meeting is quite infamous too. Everyone was posting articles about it at the time.

Looking at his 7th house ruler (Cancer), it's in his 8th house (leo) at °10 Capricorn. They kept their relationship private for the most part, their dates & conversations were kept on the low. Again, he met her at a "professional" setting; she was working, he was a customer.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Sagittarius (°9,°21)

Similar to the 9th House; through school, university or even religious cites. While travelling or at a place that's related to travel. Somewhere cultural even like museums or galleries. In a foreign country or a different state. While expanding something in your life like your knowledge, your possessions even.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Capricorn (°10,°22)

Meeting due to work, a public meeting. People knowing that you've met or people being nosey about the both of you when you meet. You could meet at a public setting as well. You could have a rather 'professional' front when you meet. They could be coming to you for advice or guidance as well.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Aquarius (°11,°23)

Meeting unexpectedly. While searching for something online, or while researching even. You could be curious about something, exploring something, doing something you've never really done before. There's immediately a mental connection, you feel that they match your interest.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Pisces (°12,°24)

Meeting online, unexpected meetings. Meeting through someone else, a third party. Meeting at foreign places, or doing something related to health or healing, hospitals, resorts, the ocean/any body of water. Through therapy. Somewhere with music or scenery or art. Concerts & music festivals are also possible.

Note: Remember. These are the circumstances of meeting your spouse/future partner. So there has to be an exchange of some sort i.e names, glances, conversations. It's not related to seeing them in dreams. It's MEETING them face to face whether virtually or physically.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧. ₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊

*** entertainment purposes only; reader discretion is advised***. /)/) (\(\

Thank you for reading ♡. ( . .) (. . )

@northopalshore

@northopalshore union asteroid 2024

[apheliia]

FAMILY, OF SORTS. — in which kafka, blade, and silver wolf are an odd but quite special found family to be a part of.

— trigger & content warnings. mentions of unspecified injury.

— pairings & notes. fluff, found family. kafka & teen!reader, blade & teen!reader, silver wolf & teen!reader. 1.3k words. reader is a stellaron hunter. reader is gender neutral (they/them pronouns used).

— author's notes. the sillies <3 APHE POSTING???? APHELION POSTING REAL AND TRUE????????? i had a request for this on my old blog (from my dear beloved moot @starryshinyskies <3) so i decided to finish it 💪 nd tagging @www-brontide since i know you were excited for this post HEHE anyways how are we feeling about this formatting? if you guys don't like it i'm very open to changing it back. i'm just experimenting with my post format is all 🫶

kafka seems strangely motherly to me. caring and doting in her own unique ways, but also quite strange and odd in those same ways. an enigma of sorts.

she is the kind of person to always send the stellaron hunters' youngest member texts throughout the day; these texts range anywhere from silly and inconsequential to sweet messages letting [name] know that she was thinking about them.

(her doting nature is not dissimilar to how she thinks of and regards the trailblazer... hm.)

KAFKA

My coat got stained again :(

Won't you help me clean it when you get home, little one?

[ 1:22 PM ]

KAFKA

I saw a new movie today.

It made me think of you. It was quite to your tastes.

Perhaps we should go see it together sometime, hm?

Ah, but you're probably asleep by now...

That's fine. You do need it more than the rest of us.

Sleep well, darling.

[ 11:34 PM ]

she thinks of her little one quite frequently and has been known to pick up little trinkets from different planets that reminded her of them. a phone charm, a set of rings, something more practical like a new weapon... she once returned with a nice coat that matches one of hers. her gifts are always unpredictable but nonetheless very thoughtful.

and when or if they get injured, she is the one who treats their wound(s) with a tender hand.

she does chide them, however.

"you are a stellaron hunter, little one," she reminds, pulling the bandages wrapped around their wound a little tighter, making them wince. it is akin to a slap on the wrist—not enough pain to seriously harm them, but enough to force them to take her words to heart. "if it is not a part of the plan, try your best not to get caught or injured, hm? silver wolf doesn't like to see you this way, and it causes a unique stir in bladie. your getting injured causes quite the unrest among us all! do be more careful next time."

if there is ever a night during which they are struggling to sleep, they are more than welcome to seek out kafka's company.

she would be willing to read them to sleep, if that is what they desired.

however... a far easier method that would ensure they would stay asleep? her spirit whisper ability, of course.

they know kafka would not use it to harm them.

kafka finds their earnest trust beyond endearing. the trust of a little one like them is quite an important gift! the least she can do, she thinks, is assist them when her assistance is needed.

and sometimes, that just means lulling them to sleep.

blade is quite a difficult person to read, regardless of whether he intends to be so or not.

some days, he is distant and prefers to keep to himself. others, less so.

this, though, should not be mistaken for a lack of care. in fact, he cares quite deeply. his care is simply very quiet and he desperately, earnestly, truly does not wish to cause [name] harm.

he is also most likely the one who spars with them and trains them in the ways of combat, which... he isn't exactly the gentlest at doing. training sessions can be quite frustrating in that they often emerge sore and with new cuts and bruises (but really, these injuries are small and insignificant; they are confident in saying that blade would never truly hurt them, nobody in their family would). he does mean well in his tough methods, though.

the universe is not kind or gentle. it will never treat them that way. therefore, he does his best to prepare them so that they can effectively handle the universe's cruelty and defend themselves from it.

one of the ways in which his quiet care manifests is through his treatment of the small wounds he gives them during training. kafka has said many times that she can treat them, but blade always insists on doing it himself.

out of all of their coworkers, blade becomes the most restless when they're away. he gets particularly antsy when they've been gone for a long period or when they're out there alone. kafka always giggles and points out to him how utterly restless he becomes when such circumstances occur.

(he should be assured that they can handle themselves, given that he is their mentor—there is surely nobody else who would know their skills as well as he would—but somehow he simply isn't.)

blade is also, generally speaking, the most protective.

should they come back injured... if it is anything other than a shallow scratch on the cheek, a rage hotter than the brightest star burns under his skin. in those moments, he almost does not dare to touch them, for fear that he might harm them unwittingly... but he does. his hands are somewhat rough when he snatches their face and tilts their chin around to get a better look at the blood (is it theirs? he hopes not) and grime dirtying their face. there is a terrifying threat present in his voice when he demands, not asks, "who did this to you?"

(if kafka was not present in these moments, he might worry that his mara would get the best of him. thankfully, kafka is intentional and present in such situations.)

unless the ones responsible for the wound have already been adequately... taken care of, he will do so himself. there is nowhere in the universe that the perpetrators could hide from him.

it's about protecting them, but it is also about sending a message.

something along the lines of "anyone who lays hands on them will suffer a fate worse than death," perhaps.

death is anything but a terrible fate to blade, but he knows that it is the worst imaginable to some. he will be certain to deliver something infinitely worse, something beyond imagination, to those daring to hurt his younger teammate.

silver wolf is perhaps the least enigmatic of their little family. she isn't an open book, per se, but she's easier to read than kafka or blade... at least, for someone like [name], anyway.

she never fails to harrass them to play a few rounds (which tends to spiral into many, many rounds...) of a game or two with her. why them, specifically? she insists that blade isn't good at them and kafka is kafka. really, it may very well just be that she enjoys spending time with them, but she—of course—will not simply say that.

however... she bullies them terribly about how bad they are. it comes from a place of affection!

she is also the type to win them every single prize at carnivals, just because she likes the joy it seems to bring them. when she encounters rigged games, however, she becomes all the more motivated by her unadulterated annoyance to beat them.

what do you mean she of all people can't beat this awful and horrible rigged game? her???? the silver wolf????? seriously????????

unfortunately, it does not always end in her victory, even when she is infinitely motivated by her anger.

...and she really isn't above just taking one of the prizes when the stall's owner isn't looking. she has done so multiple times for [name].

she would definitely try to teach them hacking (keyword: try) if they aren't already familiar with it. since it has come in handy for her, she figures that they might also find use in it. it's her quiet way of looking out for them.

(her more obvious way of looking out for them is often seen when she is on missions with them. most commonly, it manifests as her snatching their arm and pulling them out of the way of an enemy before obliterating said threat.)

silver wolf is totally the sort of person to pinch their cheeks (to different degrees, kafka and blade also do this!). they are very cute to her.

overall they are a weird but very special little family to be a part of <3

please consider supporting your writers by reblogging and leaving a kind tag or comment. it really helps me out!

[cheoliehansolie]

Lip Balm

Summary: You and Seungcheol spend the day together in your apartment and he notices your not so subtle obsession with lip balm.

Word Count: ~1.7 k

Pairing: gn reader x Seungcheol

Warnings: none, but just know that lip balm is written a total of 22 times 🫠

an: If you like reading this, make sure to reblog! If you have any suggestions or you just want to talk, send me an ask 💕

To read more, check out my masterlist

---

You and Seungcheol had been dating for a few months and one thing Seungcheol noticed about you is the fact that you kept lip balm with you at all times. He had grown accustomed to seeing you pull lip balm out of your backpack during lectures or while you were studying at the library. It seemed as though there was never a moment where you weren’t wearing lip balm.

The first time he noticed was when the two of you were sitting next to each other during class taking notes. He saw you rummaging through your backpack out of the corner of his eye. Distracted, he turned to look at what you were doing and he saw you applying lip balm to your soft, plush lips. It’s safe to say that for the rest of the lecture, Seungcheol was barely paying attention to the professor, instead choosing to take not so subtle glances at your lips every few minutes.

When you and Seungcheol went on your first date, he had taken you to a cafe on campus. The two of you had been friends for a few weeks before he asked you out, so he knew there wouldn’t be any awkward small talk, but Jeonghan had convinced him to do something simple and short for the first date just in case.

The two of you had finished your drinks and pastries but were having too much fun talking to each other to leave. Seungcheol was going on a tangent about how his roommates, Jeonghan and Joshua, were constantly teaming up to terrorize him. While nodding your head to show him you were listening, you opened your purse and grabbed your lip balm. You returned your gaze to your date and, while maintaining eye contact, applied lip balm to your lips.

It took every ounce of self control for Seungcheol to not lean across the table separating the two of you and place a kiss on your lips when you finished rubbing your lips together. 

Fast forward to today when Seungcheol came over to your apartment for the first time. Normally the two of you would go to Seungcheol’s place after classes since It's closer to campus, but since today’s a Friday Seungcheol decided to sleep over at your place. 

You and Seungcheol are cuddling on your couch watching a movie when Seungcheol loosens his grip around your shoulder and scoots away from you. You pout at him when you realize he’s trying to get up.

“Baby, don’t look at me like that. I’m just getting a glass of water and I’ll be right back.” he pouts back at you.

“Fine, but you better be back quickly.” you say as you untangle your limbs from him to let him get up.

Seungcheol can’t help but lean over and give you a quick kiss on your still pouting lips. You just look so cute sitting there looking up at him through your lashes with the cutest pout on your lips. The two of you can’t help it when you break away from the kiss and give each other the most love struck smiles.

Seungcheol makes his way to your kitchen and he wanders around, opening random cabinets to find where you keep the glasses. Could he ask you where you kept the glasses and would you immediately come help him find where they are? Yes, but you looked so comfy wrapped up in your blanket on the couch and Seungcheol couldn’t bring himself to ask. 

Luckily, he was able to locate the glasses on his second try and quickly poured himself a drink so he could return to the warm embrace of your arms as soon as possible. While he was chugging his water, he noticed a small pink tube on the corner of your kitchen counter. He sets his glass in the sink and looks closer at the small tube and he realizes it’s a tube of lip balm. 

Seungcheol slowly makes his way back to the living room where you’re (not) patiently waiting for him. He sees you returning a small tube, similar to the one he saw in the kitchen except this one cream in color, to the end table next to you. 

He smiles when you two are snuggled together on the couch again and the movie continues playing. He begins to wonder why you have random tubes of lip balm scattered around your apartment and he makes a mental tally of how many he’s seen thus far. Even if they don’t mean anything, it’ll be fun to tease you about your lip balm obsession.

–

A few hours later, you and Seungcheol are getting ready for bed. The two of you had spent the rest of the evening snuggling while watching movies, getting a few assignments done, and eating snacks together. Now you were in your bathroom doing your skin care while Seungcheol waits for you in bed, teeth brushed and ready to spend the rest of the night snuggling while you show him TikToks that you had bookmarked to show him tonight.

Seungcheol’s alone with his thoughts while he waits for you to join him in bed, and he starts reviewing how many tubes of lip balm he saw scattered around your apartment. It was honestly like a fun scavenger hunt for him to be able to see where you’ve placed them. He saw the one on your kitchen counter and the one on your end table while you were watching the movie, he saw one on your desk when the two of you decided to be at least a little productive and get some work done, he saw one in your medicine cabinet behind your mirror in the bathroom, and there’s one on your night stand. 

That makes for a total of five tubes of lip balm placed in seemingly random places around your pretty small apartment. Not to mention the lip balms he knows you have in your backpack and all of your purses. By the time Seungcheol finishes tallying all the lip balms around your apartment, you emerge from the bathroom ready for bed. 

While you get situated on your side of the bed, Seungcheol decides that now would be a good time to ask you about your lip balm obsession.

“Babe, I have a random question.” he says, waiting for you to acknowledge him while you get comfy under the blanket.

“What’s your question, Cheolie?” you ask, looking sweetly into his eyes.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you have tubes of lip balm in random places around your apartment. Is there a reason, or are you just so obsessed with lip balm that they’re part of your decor now?” he asks jokingly.

“Oh, those? I put them there so I can use them whenever I want. I like having lip balm on my lips so I don’t pick at the dry skin on my lips. It’s something I do when I’m anxious, but if I have hydrated lips, there’s nothing to pick at. Plus, even if I do have dry lips, I hate touching my lips when they have product on them.” 

“Why don’t you just put one in your pocket instead of having five around the house?”

“First of all, bold of you to assume my clothes have pockets deep enough to fit a tube of lip balm, that is if they have pockets in general. Second of all, I’m more likely to lose it if I take it everywhere with me. Knowing me I would leave it on a random table or it would fall out of my pocket and I would have no idea where it went.”

“You actually put a lot of thought into this. I thought you just kept them there for no reason.”

“Well, I just put them in places where I know I’ll want to use lip balm. But it’s also kinda for fun because I like the way they smell and I’ve been consistently wearing lip balm for so long now that it feels weird to not have anything on my lips.” you say.

Seungcheol smiles to himself as he listens to you explain. He loves listening to you talk, and he could listen to your voice for hours. But a sudden thought comes to his head and he smirks to himself as he himself is astounded by his brilliance.

“What flavor is the lip balm you’re wearing now? Can I try it?” he asks completely innocently where you don’t even realize what he’s planning.

“Yeah, I think it’s strawberry? Or maybe it’s cherry? I can’t tell. Here, let me grab it for you.” you say as you're about to turn to reach over to your nightstand to grab the lip balm that lives there.

Before you can turn your face away from Seungcheol, he grabs your arm and says, “It’s fine, I’d rather take it from here.”

Before you can fully process what he means, you feel his lips on yours and your stomach erupts with butterflies. This isn’t the first time that you’ve kissed, but you definitely were not expecting him to kiss you at this moment. His lips are soft against your own and the kiss is gentle. 

A few seconds later, you pull away from each other and Seungcheol says, “Definitely cherry.”

You feel heat rush to your face as you’re shy and flustered by his actions. Seungcheol laughs at your flustered state and you can’t help but reach over and smack him in the arm.

“What? You’re so cute when you get shy. Besides, you’re the one who said you like having things on your lips, so why not mine?” Seungcheol says, offended that you would hit your loving boyfriend who would do anything for you.

“Whatever.” you grumble as you try to calm your racing heart.

“I know you love me!” Seungcheol exclaims as he drapes his body over you, almost squishing you into a pancake.

You can’t help but laugh at his antics as you struggle under him.

“Yeah, you’re right. I do love you.” you say as the two of you burst into a fit of laughter.

[capquinn]

thinking about Quinn and family doing a holiday movie night… matching pjs, Christmas movie the kids picked out, holiday treats. How excited the babies are for it and lowkey the parents too. Truly was one of my favorite memories as a kid and still kind of now at 22 tbh LOL and my mom just told me the other day it’s one of her favorite things we do every year for Christmas even though we’re all older

The living room is a picture-perfect holiday haven. The Christmas tree stands tall in the corner, its soft white lights twinkling slowly, casting a warm glow over the room. The ornaments glimmer softly, a mix of hand-me-downs, mismatched baubles, and Bug’s latest preschool crafts. Outside, frost clings to the windows, the kind of biting cold that makes you grateful for the cosy warmth inside.

Every Friday night is movie night but on the first Friday of December, it's the official kickoff of the family’s Christmas movie tradition — something that began long before the kids, back when it was just you and Quinn curled up on the couch together, sharing a bowl of popcorn and a blanket as the glow of twinkling lights painted the walls. It had been your little ritual, a moment of calm in the whirlwind of life, gearing up for the busy holiday season.

And then Bug came along, turning your quiet little ritual into something bigger, brighter. Suddenly, there were tiny hands tugging at blankets, excited chatter about which Christmas movie was “the best ever,” and bowls of gummy bears added to the lineup of holiday treats. It wasn’t just about the two of you anymore — it was about her wonder, her laughter, her joy becoming the heart of the tradition.

Now, Bug is old enough to pick the movies, Cub is here for his very first holiday season, and it feels even more magical this year. The kind of magic that makes the tradition feel brand new, like it’s grown right along with your family. What started as a small ritual between you and Quinn has blossomed into something so much bigger. Something that belongs to all of you, something that will grow with them, too.

Bug has been talking about this all week, her excitement bubbling over like a pot about to boil. After days of careful deliberation — during which Arthur Christmas had been a close contender — she’d finally settled on The Grinch, her nearly four-year-old self treating the responsibility of picking the perfect holiday movie with the gravity of a major life decision. Quinn, ever the doting dad, had already promised they’d watch her second choice next Friday, but for tonight, the Grinch’s antics reigned supreme.

“Daddy, hurry!” Bug calls from the couch, her voice high-pitched with impatience as she sprawls across the cushions. Her little legs, clad in Christmas tartan pyjamas, kick aimlessly in the air, her feet landing every so often on the spot where Quinn will inevitably sit.

“I’m coming, Bug,” Quinn calls back from the kitchen, his tone laced with mock exasperation.

He reappears moments later, balancing a tray stacked with steaming mugs of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and marshmallows, a bowl of popcorn, Christmas cookies, and a small dish of Bug’s favourite red-and-green gummy bears. He’s wearing the matching pyjamas you picked out, a reluctant but ultimately endearing participant in your insistence that everyone match for the occasion. The flannel tartan pants, patterned in red and green, and the long-sleeved button-up shirt feel almost comically festive, but he wears them anyway, his protest never extending beyond a half-hearted sigh when you first handed them to him.

Bug’s face lights up at the sight of the snacks.

“That one’s mine!” she declares, pointing eagerly at the mug with the mountain of whipped cream.

“Of course it is,” Quinn replies, his tone warm and teasing as he sets the tray on the coffee table. He ruffles her hair playfully before finally sinking onto the couch beside you with a contented sigh.

Cubby, who had been nestled in your arms, immediately perks up at the sight of his dad. His little hands grab at the air, making soft, insistent noises until you lean forward and let him scramble across to Quinn. The eight-month-old settles happily against his chest, chubby cheeks squished against Quinn’s shoulder, one tiny hand clutching at the fabric of his dad’s shirt.

“Of course, straight to dad,” you murmur softly, your smile widening at the sight of Cub settling so perfectly against Quinn’s chest.

Quinn adjusts Cub carefully into a more comfortable position, his hand resting protectively on his tiny back as he presses a gentle kiss to his head.

“Well, can you blame him?” he teases, glancing at you with a playful glint in his eye. “I mean, look at me — prime cuddle material.”

“Okay, big guy,” you tease, rolling your eyes with a soft laugh as you lean into him, your head settling naturally on his free shoulder. Your hand drifts to Cub’s back, resting there gently, your fingers tracing lazy patterns over the soft fabric of his Christmas pyjamas.

Quinn adjusts instinctively, shifting slightly to tuck you closer against his side. His arm tightens around your shoulders, his hand curling lightly against your upper arm, fingers tracing soft, absent minded circles into your skin and you feel the warmth of his body, solid and steady, enveloping you in that quiet, unspoken comfort that only he can give.

Bug, sprawled at the other end of the sofa, suddenly starts to wiggle her way back toward the center of the action. She’s determined, her little feet finding their way onto Quinn’s lap as she nestles into the corner with all the authority of a tiny queen reclaiming her throne.

“Can we start the movie now?” she asks, her voice high-pitched with impatience but brimming with pure, uncontainable excitement.

Quinn glances down at her feet, then back at you with an exaggerated sigh. “Guess I’m a human footrest now,” he quips, his tone light and teasing, though the fondness in his eyes gives him away.

“You’re just so popular tonight,” you tease softly, your voice full of affection as you nuzzle closer against him, brushing your nose lightly against his neck. It’s playful, warm, the kind of moment that draws a quiet smile from him. He tilts his head against yours, letting the weight of it linger in the soft space between you.

Bug wiggles her toes pointedly against Quinn’s leg, her feet still sprawled across his lap. “Daddy, the movie,” she prompts, her voice a mix of impatience and innocence, entirely oblivious to the tender moment unfolding just above her.

Quinn huffs a soft laugh, shifting slightly to look at her, his hand giving her ankle an affectionate squeeze. “Alright, alright, hold your horses,” he says, his tone teasing but full of love. “You’ve been waiting all week for this, haven’t you?”

Bug’s grin is wide and triumphant.

“Yes!” she exclaims, leaning back dramatically as if she’s been terribly wronged by the wait.

“Then I guess we’d better get started,” you say, laughing quietly as you reach for the remote.

Bug's entire body leans forward as though that might make the movie start faster, her little fingers clutching the small bowl of gummy bears like a lifeline, her wide eyes glued to the screen as the opening credits roll.

“He’s so grumpy!” she giggles loudly as the Grinch makes his first appearance on screen, her hands clasped together like she’s witnessing the most thrilling moment of her life. She looks over at you, then Quinn, as though seeking confirmation. “Is he always like this?"

Quinn chuckles, adjusting Cub slightly in his arms as the baby nestles deeper against his chest. “Yeah, Bug. That’s kind of his thing,” he says with a grin, his voice warm and amused.

Bug doesn’t respond immediately, her wide eyes glued to the screen as though the Grinch himself might pop out of it. The bowl of gummy bears rests tightly in her grasp, her legs tucked underneath her. The twinkling lights of the Christmas tree reflect in her curls, making her seem even more alight with energy.

And then, with all the flair of a dramatic revelation, she gasps. “But why does he hate Christmas?” she demands, sitting up just enough to point emphatically at the screen. “Did someone take his presents? Did his tree break? Did—”

“Bug,” you interrupt softly, a laugh escaping as you reach over to rake your fingers gently through her unruly curls, smoothing them back from her face. “Just watch the movie, sweetheart. You’ll see.”

She huffs, reluctantly sinking back against the sofa, her head finding its new resting spot in Quinn’s lap, her feet tucked up beneath her as her wide eyes stay glued to the screen. But her little mind is clearly still at work.

“He’s just so mad, though,” she mutters under her breath, her tone brimming with quiet exasperation, as though trying to reason through the Grinch’s grievances herself.

Quinn glances down at her, his free hand absently brushing along her arm. He casts you a look — one that’s equal parts amused and adoring, the kind of look that says, can you believe her? but also, I love her so much it’s ridiculous.

“She’s really into this,” he murmurs, his voice low so as not to disturb her moment of contemplation.

“She’s been waiting all week for it,” you remind him just as quietly, your fingers still threading gently through her hair. “I mean, who can blame her? It’s the first Christmas movie of the season.”

Bug wiggles slightly, making herself more comfortable as she pipes up again, unable to help herself.

“I think maybe he needs a hug,” she declares solemnly, her little voice so sincere it tugs at your heart.

Quinn bites back a grin, looking down at her. “You think that’s it?” he asks, humouring her, his voice warm and indulgent.

“Yeah,” Bug nods firmly, her eyes back on the screen. “A hug and some gummy bears. That makes me happy.”

Her words spark a quiet laugh from you, and Quinn shakes his head fondly.

“She’s got it all figured out,” he says softly, leaning back into the couch, his hand resuming its gentle patterns along Cub’s back.

Meanwhile, Cub doesn’t last long, and as the Grinch starts hatching his plans to steal Christmas, he is completely out, his little body molded perfectly against Quinn’s chest. His tiny hands clutch at his daddy's shirt with a grip so sure it tugs at your heart, as though even in sleep, he knows this is the safest place in the world. His chubby cheeks are squished against the soft fabric, his face utterly peaceful, serene in the way only a baby can be. His soft, rhythmic breathing the only sound competing with Bug’s constant chatter.

“Why is he taking their stockings? He can’t do that,” Bug whispers urgently, her big eyes darting between you and Quinn.

“Because he doesn’t like Christmas, remember?” Quinn replies, his voice low and patient, his hand lightly resting on her back now. “But maybe he’ll change his mind.”

And by the time the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes, Bug’s eyelids are drooping, though she fights to stay awake, her little fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“I knew he’d like Christmas,” she mumbles sleepily, her voice slurring just a little.

Quinn glances down at her, his eyes soft, his free hand brushing over her curls once before settling her head more comfortably against his lap. “Told you,” he murmurs, his voice low and fond.

You smile, leaning into his side, your fingers still raking through Bug’s hair.

“Merry Christmas, Hughes,” you whisper softly, and Quinn turns his head to press a kiss to your temple, the kind of moment that lingers, warm and unhurried.

“Merry Christmas,” he echoes quietly, voice full of love.

[swingadingding]

Intoxicated (Kazuha x reader)

Happy New Year!! I've made it a goal to start my fanfic writing journey this year and this is my soft launch! This is part 1 of 2 because I don't know how people will react to my writing/story. But if this gets some love then I'll finish it out!

Synopsis: You and Kazuha have been friends for a long time now, basically childhood best friends.  The two of you get invited to a party that’s being hosted by a mutual friend of the both of you, Venti.  During the party, Kazuha gets a little too carried away by the drinks.  And it just so happens that a drunk Kazuha equals hot and heavy Kazuha.  

Trigger Warning(s)(?): I don't think there is any in this first part- Modern AUish? Mature audiences only! 18+ and MDNI!!

It was no surprise that those who were friends when they were younger, grow apart when older.  There’s only a few people who are lucky enough to keep their childhood best friend.  You ended being one of those people.  Your childhood best friend? Kaedehara Kazuha.  You grew up with Kazuha, literally.  Your father was Kazuha’s Dad’s roommate back in college.  When the both of them found girlfriends and eventually turned them into wives, they still kept contact.  No one could break their bond.  And it even just so happens that the both of them have children relatively the same age who they introduced to each other.  Kazuha just had to be older than you, albeit not too far apart.  Ever since  Both of your families adored the moments you and Kazuha shared.  Kazuha was a shy child who enjoyed reading and writing.  You were always a curious child, not trying to look for trouble but always looked at the world with big eyes and an open heart.  You two complimented each other a lot due to you guys growing up similarly.  There was never a moment where you weren’t with Kazuha and vice versa.  Everyone had always thought that the two of you would start dating or even get married but alas, nothing happened between the both of you.  It was no surprise that you gained feelings for Kazuha but being so close to him means if you crossed that line and something goes wrong, there’s no going back.  You can’t imagine your world without Kazuha so you sealed your lips to secure your future with him in it.  Hitting the fast forward button, 22 years go by and you and Kazuha? Still friends to the end.  Tomorrow was your guys’ friendiversary and the both of you wanted to celebrate with one another. 

You get out of the shower when you hear your phone give off a ping sound, signaling that someone had messaged you.  But it wasn’t just an ordinary ping sound, it was the specific one you gave Kazuha.  It started as a joke that you gave him a special ping sound but you always looked forward to that sound going off from your phone.  As soon as you heard the sound, you rushed over to your bed table to grab your phone to see what he texted as you plopped down on your bed despite the water still dripping from your hair.  

“Hey sweetheart” was the text from him.  

Your heart skipped a beat at the word sweetheart.  So endearing and sweet.  The both of you loved Howl’s Moving Castle and you jokingly said that he was like Howl.  Then he said that you were Sophie if he was Howl and so he started calling you sweetheart.  A lot of people misinterpret this as you guys being in a relationship, you couldn’t blame them.  You would misinterpret the situation too but you knew that he just called you that because of the movie.  

“Why hello there, you need something?”  You immediately texted back.  

“Our friendiversary is around the corner, Venti invited us to a party on that day.  Do you wanna go? I won’t go if you don’t though”  he shot back just as quickly as you did.  

You always took notice at how fast he responds to your messages.  He was never the one to leave you on read unless he’s doing something really important such as studying.  It never fails to make your heart beat fast with how fast he responds.  Staring at the message, you contemplated for a moment.  Venti was a good friend of the both of you.  You always have fun with him whenever he’s around.  You thought, “Why the heck not? What could go wrong?”  Quickly texting back,  

“Yeah sure, I’ll go.  We can celebrate there together and then we can get takeout afterwards, sound good?” 

“We should get your favorite for takeout and sounds good to me”

“Heyyy it’s not only my special day yk? Let’s also get your fav and we can have both” 

“How sweet of you to think of me, fine.  I won’t argue with you on that sweetheart”

“🥰🫶”

Something you loved about Kazuha was the way he texted back so fast.  He didn’t leave you on read or delivered, even if he did, he would immediately apologize for it.  Your friends commented that he’s whipped for you so that’s why he texts back so fast.  You ignored their comments, they were just silly thoughts.  In the back of your mind though, you hoped that was the reason for him texting so fast.  You wished that he liked you the way you did and that everything he’s doing from texting so fast to him calling you sweetheart was because he liked you.  You snapped out of your daydream when you felt your towel slipping from your body.  Quickly adjusting it back, you get up from your bed to go get changed.  You were going out with some of your girlfriends today to go shopping and catch up with them.  Being an adult was tiring so this was a nice breather.  Picking an outfit you felt comfortable in, you looked at yourself in the mirror before heading out and grabbed all your valuables.  You stepped out of your apartment and headed to your building’s parking lot to get to your car.  Once you got to your car, you put on your driving playlist before heading out to the mall you and your girlfriends agreed to.  

After a bit of a drive, you arrived at the mall and parked your car in the mall parking lot.  You hopped out of your car and started heading to your guys’ appointed meeting spot.  A few minutes of walking and it didn’t take long before you saw all your girlfriends gathered around waiting for you.  It seemed like you were the last one who needed to get there.  You gave your girls hugs and greeted all of them.  “Sorry I’m late girls, parking is a bitch sometimes.”  You say as you scratch the back of your neck.

“Don’t sweat it kid, you’re all good.”  Beidou replies with a smile.

“Guysss let’s go now!! Everyone is here!! Ready to start shopping?!” Xiangling exclaims in excitement

You all nod and start heading towards the first store.

You search through the racks at the first store to see what you could wear to this party when you get a text from Kazuha.  You giggle and cover your mouth at his message not knowing there was someone looking over your shoulder.

“I spy with my little eye someone who’s whipped for their best friend!~” Hu Tao called out while pointing, causing your girlfriends to turn towards the direction she was pointing.  A blush covered your face as you got embarrassed.

“Cut it out, Hu Tao.  You’re teasing the poor thing.”  Xinyan replied.  Ningguang and Beidou gave a simultaneous laugh as you turned your body away from Hu Tao, shaking your head.  

“Quit messing with me, Hu Tao.  And stop looking over my shoulder!! Besides, I'm not whipped for Kazuha.”  You replied as you got closer.  

“I didn’t mention Kazuha though!~” Hu Tao retorted and you got embarrassed, stumbling over your words as everyone laughed at your reaction.  

“Hu Tao just might be right, Y/N.”  Yelan commented while smirking, you cleared your throat and shook your head.  

“Whatever guys , are we shopping or are we gonna keep going with me?” You asked.  

“Alright, alright, we’ll stop.  Let’s get going before the day slips by us! Plus I still need to find something cute for Venti’s party tomorrow!” Hu Tao responded as she went into a shop.  

“You guys got invited too? Kazu and I got invited too.”  

“Yeah, everyone practically got invited to his party.  We’re all gonna go, we don’t got anything else to do anyways.”  Beidou responded as she followed Hu Tao.  You nodded and headed after everyone else.  

It took you guys at least 3 hours to shop for something for the party.  Ningguang picked a gold dress with a high slit, Beidou got a purple jumpsuit, Yelan picked out a blue suit, Hu Tao chose a pair of bell bottoms with a red top, and Xinyan got the same thing as Hu Tao as they wanted to match.  You picked a simple yet classy red dress, it was a bit short though.  It only came down to the middle of your thigh.  The skirt was a little bit flowy and was actually pretty soft so the material didn’t bother you despite it being so short.  The dress also couldn’t be worn with a bra because the back is essentially backless except for the strings you pull in order to make the dress fit/tighten.  You loved the dress since it fit in all the right places.  You had a good pair of boots to go with the dress, no way in hell were you going to wear some heels with the dress.  Plus you would trip over yourself in heels if you got drunk even though you didn’t plan on drinking, this was Venti’s party.  You knew that there were going to be a lot of drinks just because it was Venti’s party.  All the girls whistled and hollered at your dress, Hu Tao made a comment saying that it was gonna look good on Kazuha’s floor which earned a head smack from Xinyan and some giggles from the other girls.  A furious blush and embarrassing yell later, you all parted ways.  You just headed home, shopping was exhausting even if it was fun.  Once you got home, you set aside the outfit and laid in your bed.  You sighed feeling your comfy bed on your body, it felt so good.  Closing your eyes, you decided to take a nap but your plans got interrupted by Kazuha’s special ping.  Your eyes flew open and you scrambled to grab your phone.  “What are you wearing tomorrow?” He texted.  

“A simple red dress, nothing too fancy” 

“Can I see? Please :)” 

You contemplated for a moment if you wanted to send him a picture.  You thought of teasing him and saying no but he’s so sweet, you didn’t want to say no.  

“Sure, gimme a sec :)” 

“Take all the time you need, sweetheart” 

Getting up from your bed, you throw on the dress and head over to your mirror to take a quick picture.  You snapped a quick picture and took a look at it, you kind of slayed that pic.  Sending the photo with a small text saying “This is it! :)” you awaited a text back.  But that text never came which confused you.  

“Kazuuuu?” you texted but no reply.  You see that he has seen your message but nothing.  You shrugged off his odd behavior and took off the dress, still setting it aside.  Taking a look at the time, you decided to get ready for bed since you weren’t going anywhere else tonight.  You did your nightly routine, settled into your bed, and popped on a TV show before you drifted to sleep.  

You woke up at around noon and checked your phone.  As you checked your phone, you saw a text from Kazuha that was a few hours ago.  

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I fell asleep.  You look amazing btw, gorgeous even :)” 

Your heart skipped a beat, he was such a charmer.  Giggling a bit, you sent a text back. 

“Please, it’s just a simple dress.  It’s not even my color” 

“Red suits you though, it looks so pretty on you. You're so gorgeous” 

“Are you flirting with me, Kazuha?” 

“Maybe I am.”

“Very funny, Mr. Kaedehara. OH! Lemme see what you're going to wear” 

"Ah I guess that's fair, I did get to see my favorite girl in her outfit"

Without missing a beat, Kazuha sent a picture of him in his outfit. It was a mirror picture. You recognized the mirror as the one he got back in high school when he gained more confidence and started taking OFTD pictures. A black leather jacket with a red undershirt. The leaf necklace you gifted him back in high school was sitting proudly on his neck. His hands adorned with black fingerless gloves. His outfit hugged him in the right places and it even looked like he's been lifting weights so his arms look bigger in the picture. A blush immediately formed on your face. "Fuck he looks so good- what the fuck-" You thought to yourself as you stared at the photo.

"You look handsome as always"

"Not as gorgeous as you, my dear"

"Oh hush you"

"I'm only speaking the truth"

"Have you been working out more?"

"So you've noticed"

"The outfit is doing you justice my good sir"

"Haha ever always so sweet"

"'I'm only speaking the truth'"

"Using my words against me, sweetheart? I'm hurt"

"Haha look at who's flustered now"

“Oh btw, Happy Friendversary, sweetheart” 

“Happy Friendversary ‘Howl’ :)” 

While you love Kazuha with all your heart and being, he could be such a tease.  You can never tell if he was ever serious about his antics. Always keeping you on edge. Shaking your head at your phone, you decide to get up from your bed and stretch.  In just a few hours, you’d be going to Venti’s party.  You wondered what you were gonna do before the party but your train of thought got stopped when you heard the bell to your apartment ring.  Lazily walking to the door, you look through your peephole to see who it was.  It was Ningguang and Bediou, you opened the door.  

“Hello you two, what are you doing here?” 

“We’re here to help you get ready for the party, of course.”  Ningguang responded.  

“Ok? But why-” 

“To put it sweet and simple, we’re here to get you laid tonight whether that be by Kazuha or someone else.”  Beidou smiled as she spoke while walking into your apartment.  Ningguang followed suit.  

“Woah, woah, woah.  I’m not getting laid tonight-”

“Yes, you are.  End of conversation.”  Ningguang insisted as she grabbed your hand to drag you to your room.

“What am I getting into??…”  You thought as Beidou and Ningguang closed your bedroom door…

Author's note: I absolutely adored writing this all out!! I'm so excited to start this journey and hope you all enjoyed the first part!! <333

[ghostf4cesbitch]

shower sex with ethan 🤞🏼

anon ur a genius

sorry this took forever, i had some problems with my job that were taking my attention but all good now :p

warnings: 18+ minors dni, degradation, praise, unprotected p in v (1+1 should not equal 3 wrap b4 you tap), oral (male receiving), swearing, not proofread

the tv in your living room drones on, still playing the end credits of 22 jump street, as you dispose of the small mess that's been made. you invited your friends over for a movie night, a successful one in your opinion. chad had a pen you were all taking hits off of, only making the movie that much funnier.

and your boyfriend that much hornier.

of course ethan gets horny when he smokes, the boy gets it up as soon as he sees a mere sliver of your stomach.

he was the only one left with you in the apartment now, residing in the kitchen and washing the dishes from tonight. like the plate you'd used for mozzarella sticks.

ethan had snuck up on you while you were putting them in the oven, nearly giving you a heart attack after sneaking up and slipping a hand under your shirt and up your back.

you'd turned around to chastise him but he didn't give you a chance, pressing his lips on yours before you could say anything. it was a needy kiss, and that didn't surprise you. his hands were over you all evening. nothing too PDA, he was just always touching you no matter what you guys were doing. his leg laced under yours while playing a game, or his fingers moving up and down your thigh during the movie.

you nearly get wet again just thinking about it. it's so hot how he just can't help himself when it comes to you.

ethan comes into the room as you're throwing away the last of the trash. he's got on some sweatpants and a muscle tank, which you know he knows you love to see him in.

"can we go lay down now?" he asks.

"i just gotta shower real quick and then we can," you say, walking past him towards the bathroom and pecking a kiss on his cheek as you do so.

he groans, whining like a child as he says, "can't you shower tomorrow?"

he follows you into the bathroom, leaning against the doorway as you wipe your makeup off.

"i could, but i don't want to." you say. "i've got that presentation early tomorrow and i don't wanna have to worry about it."

ethan merely hums in response.

you can see him in the mirror, though, and he doesn't look like he heard anything you said. his eyes are fixated on your backside, trailing down to your ass and up to any skin being exposed by your tank top. feeling his gaze on you so intensely sends a shiver down your spine.

you walk over to the tub, turn on the shower (maybe bending over just a little more than necessary on purpose), then make your way back over to your boyfriend who's still leaning in the doorway and hasn't taken his eyes off you once.

his focus follows your hands as you ghost your fingers along his stomach, playing with the hem of his shirt. you look up at each other at the same time, and you don't even have to say what you were thinking because ethan's already reaching forward and slipping your shirt over your head. you do the same to his, and then your lips are pressed together and you're undoing his belt as he unclasps your bra.

you take a couple cautious steps backward towards the shower, ethan following each one. you rip his pants down and he does the same to your shorts.

he takes a pause to rake his eyes over your body, his breath getting caught in his throat because every time is like the first time when it comes to you.

"so pretty, angel," he praises, kissing you again.

prying fingers are slipping into your underwear, one of them running along your slit before the fabric's ripped down your legs. after stepping out of them completely, you kiss ethan one more time before slipping into the shower.

the sound of his boxers being pulled down is frantic, just like the way he rips the curtain to the side to join you. his hands are back on your hips as soon as he's in, pulling you in to kiss him again.

your hands trail down his chest to his dick that's already hard on your palm. ethan sucks in a breath that lets out in a groan when you run your thumb over his tip.

"shit," he hisses through his teeth.

he's been waiting for your touch all goddamn day. and god was it worth it - the feeling of your dainty little hand wrapped around his cock was sending a heat all throughout his body not even the cool water hitting his back could extinguish.

"on your knees," he spits out at the same time his hand comes to rest on your shoulder to push you to the ground.

you sink to the floor, knees making a small splash in the puddle below you. ethan's hand comes up to tangle itself in your hair, a little water from his wrist dripping down your face.

you look up at your boyfriend, soaking wet and breathing heavily with a sexed-up look in his eyes, and relish in the fact that you're the only one who's ever seen him like this. that you're the only one he would ever want wrapping their lips around the tip of his leaking hard on.

his eyes roll back into his head as you do so, his grip on your hair tightening. you play on the tip with your tongue a little before sliding slowly further down, licking a flat strip along the underside as you do so.

"good," ethan coos. "just like that, angel."

you continue your slow progression towards his base, reaching a hand up to jerk what isn't in your mouth. you see his leg shake a little and it sends heat through your own body, knowing how good you're making him feel. not that he's not telling you enough with the sounds he's making. the desperate little whimpers leaving his mouth are a heat source all on their own.

a moan echoes in your throat and around him, earning a downright guttural one from ethan. he can't help it anymore, he pushes your head onto him fully, tapping your cheek with his other hand while he laughs at you.

"you like that, y/n?" he asks as he guides you up and down on his length. "i know what a fucking cockwhore you are, how much you love it filling up any one of your holes."

you look up and moan around him, trying to tell him that yeah, you do love it. he seems to take the hint, smirking as he pats your cheek again.

"i know, baby, i know."

he's fucking your face now, holding your head still as he does most of the work for you. your throat is hot and you can feel him throbbing on your tongue. you swear you can feel him about to cum when he pulls out, a string of saliva still connecting you to his tip.

ethan nearly loses his mind at the view. he bites his lip as he helps you stand up, his eyes never flickering away from the lovely sight before him. your dick-swollen lips, wet from spit and the tears streaming down your face, and god your eyes - your pleading eyes that always let him see right through you, see just how badly you needed him.

"fucked out already, doll?" he knows the answer, but you still shake your head eagerly. "good."

quickly, he maneuvers your body so your back is pressed up against him - his tip grazing your skin before he takes himself in his hand to line it up at your entrance.

"wasn't done with you yet anyway," he growls as he pushes into you, the pressure against your walls making your back arch. ethan takes that to his advantage, grabbing your hair to pull you up even more. your hands are pressed against the shower wall for support even though you're sure he'd have no trouble holding you up with one hand.

"not 'till your pretty cunt's leaking for me," he says, giving a slap to your ass that makes you whine.

he's fucking you at a relentless pace, the wet noises coming from your pussy making that more than evident. ethan made a comment on them once, saying he loves when your pussy talks to him, tells him he's doing a good job. you nearly chuckle thinking about it, and how it's practically singing for him now.

he seems to read your mind, saying, "fuck listen to you. making those whore noises just for me. been waitin' to hear 'em all day."

then ethan's other hand is finding its way to your clit to rub feverish circles into it. immediately a hot knot is forming in your stomach.

"you drive me crazy, you know that? wearing those tiny shorts around for anyone to see. supposed to be mine."

"i - fuck- i am yours, e," you squeak out, your voice beyond shaky.

the pace of his hips is unforgiving as he snaps in and out of you, his fingers pressing harder into your clit. you're so close, and you know he is too - he always gets more chatty when he's getting ready to bust.

"yeah? wanna cum for me then? hm? come on, angel. coat my cock in your sweet cum, baby."

and that's all it takes for every muscle in your body to convulse as your high overcomes you and ethan's name to repeatedly slip through your lips in little whimpers. you can feel him twitch inside you, too, his hand that was previously on your clit coming to grab your hip so hard you're sure there'll be a bruise. he's making those sweet, guttural noises in your ear as he rides out his orgasm. god you could listen to them forever.

unfortunately, they eventually simmer down to heavy, ragged breaths much like yours. ethan kisses your head before pulling out slowly. you stay hunched over for a moment to regain your breath, feeling another kiss left on your neck as he wraps an arm around your chest to help you up.

"sweet girl," he mumbles into your hair, planting one more kiss on your head. "always so good for me."

you turn to face him, running a hand through his moppy locks.

"sweet boy," you repeat. "always so good to me."

he smiles and grabs a loofa, holding it up to you.

"want me to clean you up?"

[gatorbites-imagines]

Kinktober day 22

Steven grant, Marc Spector, and Jake Lockley + omegaverse

This is written in headcanon format, since I wanted to write about all three but couldn’t think of a way to involve all of them beside headcanons.

on the shorter side, but im still learning how to write omegaverse.

Kinktober 2023 masterlist.

Omega, but not the stereotypical omega. Hes fine taking care of himself, and isn’t weak or easily ordered around. Steven just likes to avoid conflicts, Marc and Jake wont back down from conflicts though.

Steven is an omega, so is Marc, but Jake is an alpha.

Physical body is omega, so even when Jake is fronting their body is still an omega, but Jake is immune to things like other alphas scent or when someone tries to scruff him or force him to submit.

Marc is mostly immune too, only buckling to you, his mate, but that’s because hes chosen to do so cuz he loves you.

Steven does enjoy making a nest in their bed, or wearing your clothes to cover himself in your scent. Marc doesn’t really make nests as a trauma response, and because he doesn’t feel as much of a need for it as Steven, he will bundle up some blankets though if he really needs it.

Steven’s scent is sweeter and milder than the other two, as I imagine their scent changes depending on who is fronting. The core smell is the same, but smaller changes happens so you can easily tell them apart, where others might struggle to do so.

Since their physical body is of an omega, they go into heat, but they tend to leave that to Steven since hes the only one who doesn’t despise it with his entire being.

Being in heat is uncomfortable of course, but Steven also enjoys it cuz it allows him to be taken care of by you and lets him put down his walls. None of them want pups though, so they always make sure to use protection.

Marc might front every now and then during heat when Steven is too exhausted, letting himself bask in his omega needs for a bit. Make sure to not treat him too stereotypically like an omega, he needs you to be rough and in charge, yes, but he will bite you if you try to scruff him or anything like that.

When Jake fronts during heats he just feels uncomfortable and very sweaty, so if he even does front, that’s when he showers and changes the sheets. That’s also when you can rest, as he just wants to cuddle and watch a movie or something.

Sex with them depends on who’s fronting. Steven likes to be taken with some power behind your thrusts, but he also loves slow and passionate lovemaking. Hes also the only one who liked being knotted, even if it won’t lead to pups.

Marc likes having some more power during, so he will ride you like a wild horse, growling and barring his teeth, making sure to scratch at your chest and leave hickeys all over.

Jake likes to do the fucking, be it bending you over the kitchen counter or up against the wall in the shower. He may not have a knot, but if you ever bought him a fake one to wear, he might bust right then and there as hed pounce on you immediately.

Your relationship would never lead to pups, as none of them want to get pregnant or would want you to carry. I just don’t think they’d be comfortable being parents, closest you’ll get is a pet, as they don’t wanna put an innocent kid in danger cuz of their night job.

This doesn’t mean your relationship is lacking anything though, as you guys find other things to find joy in, in your love life. It takes some time getting used too, but after a while it just becomes the norm, so no matter what others think you guys are happy.

[p3ndeja6]

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚

k.seungmin x fem! reader

navidad sin ti

summary: who knew a holiday could tear you both apart, leaving one of you the most broken.

content: angst, no happy ending

semi proof read (as always)

word count: 2.0k

inspired by: marco antonio solis’s navidad sin ti

a/n: intended hispanic reader but you can read it either way, I think it’s ass.. but wtv

Seungmin hated the holidays, he always did. Who cares about lights, and trees and the smell of freshly baked cookies. not him

but you, you loved Christmas. You grew up loving Christmas for all its joy of spending it with loved one. that was one of the few things you looked forward to during the holiday season. las posadas, el ponche, los tamales.. you loved it all

though you haven’t been able to enjoy your favorite holiday because of seungmin’s bad attitude, you tried and tried to lift his spirits up by showing him Christmas cheer and the meaning of it.

he couldn’t get it wrapped around his brain, what was so special about Christmas?

your first Christmas with seungmin wasn’t…well it was disappointing.

you thought he just played the “I don’t like Christmas act” real good but when you both celebrated Christmas together for the first time.. you saw that he really didn’t like Christmas. you did your best with the lights and the tree decorating by yourself, as well as buying him gifts.

maybe he’d understand the gift giving part, I mean he gifts you for your birthday.. relatively okay..

Christmas Day comes around and you’re excited for the day, you usually spend it with your family and participate in posadas but seungmin was against the idea and he was far from so… you stayed home with him on Christmas Eve.. enjoyed a dinner you made and watched Elf.

you both went to sleep around 10:22 pm, it was early for you considering the fact that you stay awake until midnight to give the “abrazo de navidad” but no.. seungmin fell asleep. So you went to bed

it bugged you but you pushed through it. Morning came along, 8:13 am. You got up and went to prepare breakfast, put another Christmas movie on and turned the Christmas lights back on, your spirit was good and were excited to give your gifts to seungmin, spent your hard earned money to make him feel special and show him how much you appreciate him.

He hadn’t woken up until 9:00 am exactly, grumpy and groggily

“mm ugh y/n turn that down” he said annoyed, “you looked at him and grabbed the remote quickly, turning it down to volume 13. “sorry, I didn’t think it was that loud”

he looked at you, and then looked around the living room. again lit up by those damn lights, and ugh that stupid kid who is always left alone is back in the screen.

“y/n I thought Christmas Eve was your Christmas Day” “well technically yeah but you fell asleep before 12 so we have to celebrate it today as well.. I mean it is Christmas” you said while putting the last gift under the tree getting up and going towards him, smiling softly and going to kiss him on the cheek. “Merry Christmas baby”

he groans softly and looks at you, he hated to admit but he loves when you kiss him, he smiled softly at you

“so do you wanna have breakfast first or open presents?” You smile at him

he groaned again

“eat, I wanna eat” You quickly put the already served breakfast plate on the table, “enjoy cutie” you said

he sat down and began to eat, taking his time eating and drinking his orange juice. You were getting impatient and wanting to hurry up so he can open his gifts.

after 30 long minutes he finally finished. Looking at you with a small smirk

“okay done? okay cmon let’s go by the tree i have things i wanna give you”

“ughh y/n please you don’t need to do that, seriously I don’t want any” that’s because from all the hating of Christmas he was doing he completely forgot to buy you gifts, only got you three gifts and they were things you didn’t even want or needed. Worse they weren’t wrapped or put in bags

“no cmon min, i wanna give my gifts to you” you said with a smile, making him sit down on the couch as you go towards the tree and reach for a couple of gifts for him to start off

“Open all of mine first okay?” The guilt started to get to him. Just the forgetting to get you gifts part, not the hating Christmas… he thought

“oh.. alright then” he said, you handed him the first wrapped gift, all nicely wrapped with a pretty metallic bow on top. The sticker saying ‘to min min from y/n :)’

he carefully unwrapped it, opening the box and seeing it was the sweater he’s been eyeing since thanksgiving.

“oh wow.. I- thank you babe..” he said with a hint of guilt

“It’s not problem” you smiled at him.

after that gift came another one and another and another and another. until he was all done with his gifts. All the things he loved and wished for

it was his turn…

you sat there smiley,waiting for him to bring you your gifts.

once he came back to the living room, he a bit shamefully handed you the items he bought you.. unwrapped or put in a gift bag

“oh…”

looking at your gifts, a rather distasteful cardigan. a pair of fluffy socks, and chocolates…

“uh… thank you baby.. i love it” you said with a weak smile

you wanted to be grateful he got you anything at all but.. it just stung when this was all he could come up with.

you smiled weakly and looked at the items, nodding and standing up to give him a quick hug.

you felt the spirits get crushed, not only did your boyfriend hate your favorite holiday but he made zero effort to show interest in something you loved no matter how much he hated it.

a year later and again the holidays were coming up. All was good not during the holidays but once Black Friday ends, it’s like a switch that turns on with seungmin

it pains you that it got to the point where it made you rethink about how you felt about seungmin. You love him you really truly do but it’s getting to the point where you can’t even mention Christmas or anything without him getting annoyed and storming out

12 days before Christmas and you finally decided the hard choice to break things off. You didn’t want it to come to this. God it was so stupid to break up over something like this but to you it meant a lot and he just couldn’t see it. He can never see it.

you chickened out and wrote him a letter instead

Seungmin, i know you’ll hate me for this and you’ll hate me even more for doing it this way. Though i want you to know how much i really do love you. More then anything, how id do anything for you… it’s just during the holidays, they’re special to me and you know how sensitive i am when it comes to Christmas. you never show any interest, even if you hate it. A slight bit of interest is all i ask for but you always refuse to give it to me. It genuinely hurts me when you act this way towards me. so what im saying is, our relationship cannot go from here. I don’t want to but it’s best for me and you for us to end it. You can live better without me bugging you about the small things I love, especially christmas.

He came home from work early, he was dreading coming home knowing 12 days before Christmas you started to decorate the apartment with lights and the tree and all that jolly shit

he opened the door, waiting to be hit with the colorful bright lights being hung up by you. When he opened the door to see dark. Pure darkness, quiet and cold.

he called out your name, no answer

he turned on the lights to look around, headed towards the bedroom, when he walked in to see it empty. Your stuff..? Where is it?

he say a note on the bed, he grabbed it and the crinkling of the paper being unfolded being the only sound in the house.

He read the letter, his throat feeling tight, stomach dropping and his heart breaking.

he wasn’t sure what to feel.. god he felt so stupid that he pushed you away with his attitude.. not only in general but especially during the most special time of the year for you.

he lost you… forever.

11 days before Christmas

he wasn’t sure what to do, especially not without you around him. You usually hang up lights around the place first. while watching your favorite Christmas movie

it hasn’t hit him that you are really gone

6 days before Christmas

the days are getting closer to Christmas and he’s “happy” that he doesn’t have to deal with that shit anymore. but all of that shit was because of you.

3 days before Christmas

he decided to maybe go for a walk.. in freezing snowy weather. His feet led him to your neighborhood.. seeing lights, families and kids running around. The sound of posadas, or mexican christmas caroling you explained to him. He didn’t realize he joined a posada, hearing them sing and laugh. Letting everyone in, including seungmin. Being offered your favorite holiday drink… ponche. He remembers the first time he tried it with you

“cmon just a sip min” you smiled, he reluctantly took the sip. Pretending to hate it but eventually had like five cupfuls of ponche by the end of the night.

he didn’t expect to see you but he was hoping he would.

1 day before Christmas

the apartment was dark, and cold… no joy, no Christmas cheer, and no one for him to be near.

his first Christmas without you

he couldn’t bear it.. but this was his fault. if only he tired a little harder to make you feel happy. If only he tried to be the best for you.. when all you did was make him happy even if he didn’t show it. He regrets not showing it.

A year has passed and the holidays are approaching; once again he has to celebrate your favorite holiday, by himself.. regretting everything that lead him to lose you.

he sees your ghost walking around his apartment, hanging up lights, decorating the tree, baking cookies, as well as making your favorite cultural comfort food.

he didn’t realize he started to cry.

“seungmin.. you did this to yourself” he said to himself. As he wallows in self pity… the darkness of the living room consuming him. His light was you, and he let that light get blown away.

the loneliness eating him alive, he wishes you were here with him… with him to celebrate Christmas..

he finishes putting the last ornament on the little Charlie Brown tree he bought. looking at the poorly put on lights, and the messy organization of the different colored ornaments he places around the small tree

he looks at it, the tree being the only source of light in his apartment.

He thinks about you often.. wondering what you’re up to, if you’ve moved on, if you still love Christmas, hoping he didn’t ruin it for you.

“Another Christmas without you y/n”

he sits there, looking at the tree once again.

sitting here in the loneliness, wishing you were here. I don’t know where you are but I’m hoping you’re happy.

I keep remembering the day I lost you

again christmas comes, and here I am without you.

I look at myself in the mirror, my pale skin, baggy eyes, as the holidays approach once again.

Sitting here, holding the gift you always wanted… now I look over at the picture of us sitting nicely on my coffee table… us happy and in love, forcing me to take that picture by the big Christmas tree.. even though I was at my happiest right there..

I lost that… I lost you..

the agony the holidays bring me, I never had a reason to hate it but… now.. now I do..

christmas comes and here I am, alone and without you. keep replaying the day I lost you.

I want nothing but the best for you

merry Christmas y/n…

[jessejaredstories]

Twisted Wish

Matthew was an average, everyday kind of guy from the suburbs. He was the 22 year old only child of happily married parents with middle class standing. He was also in his last year of college with a major in history. The only thing that helped set him apart was the fact that he was gay, but even his sexuality didn't really matter much in a big city full of twinks like him. All things considered, Matthew was a pretty ordinary guy with nothing particularly remarkable about him.

However, just because Matthew lived a normal life doesn't mean he didn't have his own set of problems. For example, he was 22 going on 23 and he was still a virgin who has never even had a real boyfriend. Sure, he had gone on plenty of first dates, but none of them ever went anywhere beyond the first date. It was the lack of romantic and sexual experience that made up Matthew's biggest insecurities. There were nights where he would stay up wondering if he would ever find Mr. Right. But what really made Matthew insecure was his roommate Dave. 

Dave was a player. He was a lady's man through and through. In the short year Matthew's known him, Dave had already gone through 3 girlfriends and was currently working on his fourth. But that was just the girls he's dated, Dave's had plenty of side chicks too. Everytime a new one popped up, Matthew already knew he was gonna get sexiled and made himself scarce without Dave asking him to. Despite how often it happened, Matthew honestly didn't mind Dave's horny habits. Though he would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Dave. If some frat bro like Dave could get laid anytime he wanted, why couldn't he? 

One Saturday night, while Matthew was by himself in the apartment, he spent the evening on his phone. He was endlessly scrolling through several social media sites while streaming some random movie for background noise. Matthew spent several hours online before finally getting tired of his phone. He began closing all the tabs, but during his clicking frenzy, he accidentally hit a pop-up ad. The pop-up took him to another website called "Reality Wizard." The ugly, gaudy colors of the website caught Matthew's interest just before he could exit out. Matthew took a moment to read the website’s welcome message. It read:

“Make a wish and the Reality Wizard will make it come true.”

From what Matthew could gather, the “Reality Wizard” seemed to be some online genie game. It seemed pretty straightforward albeit cheaply made. The little genie avatar had its arms open as if it was beckoning Matthew to make a wish. Something about its digital eyes made Matthew uncomfortable. He felt as if it was somehow looking directly at him despite it just being a static image on his phone. It was surreal to say the least. 

But instead of simply exiting out of the website, Matthew decided to play along with it. He didn’t have anything better to do after all, so why not play along and make a wish to a fake genie? Matthew laid back on his bed as he thought about what to wish for. Then after a minute of thinking, he typed in his wish.

“I wish I could get laid just as much as my straight roommate does.”

Matthew chuckled as he finished typing up his wish. While there was some actual sentiment behind it (he was a desperate virgin after all), Matthew found more humor in making the genie respond to something dirty and see what happens. He hit submit and waited. The screen reloaded after a second, but all that changed was the genie’s eyes were now closed. Matthew waited a while longer but nothing else happened. 

Once he was bored again, Matthew finally closed out of “Reality Wizard.” The night was still young when Matthew found himself alone with nothing else to do. That was when he decided to do what any other guy would do: jerk off! 

Matthew pulled down his sweats and let his soft dick flop out while he pulled up an incognito tab on his phone. He then went straight to PHub to find a good video to rub one out to. But unfortunately for Matthew, there was nothing worth clicking on on the home page. He then spent the next 10 or so minutes searching for a good video. By the time he found one, he had ended up in the MMF video category. Matthew didn’t mind a woman in his videos, he could just focus on the men after all. He hit play, skipped to the good part, and started jerking off.

Between Matthew and the trio in the video, moans and groans quickly began to fill the empty apartment as Matthew pumped away at his cock. Despite being a total bottom, Matthew still had an above average length clocking in at about 6 inches. Even though his dick never saw any fucking action, it still made jerking off fun as he used both hands to stroke himself. 

“Aww fuck yeah…” The trio had switched into a sandwich position with one of the men getting fucked while fucking the woman at the same time. Matthew was loving the man on man action. “Fuck that man ass! Make him your bitch!!”

While Matthew was jerking off, the wish he had just made to the “Reality Wizard” began to come true! But not in the way Matthew expected…

The genie’s magic began to take effect. Matthew was always a skinny twink, but the wish he made caused his body to change. His body was quickly gaining weight until Matthew had some heft to his figure. His arms and thighs filled in with the extra mass, as did his chest until he had big enough pecs to grab and squeeze. The same happened to his ass! Although he already had a nice, perky ass before the changes, Matthew now possessed the bubble butt of a gym rat. Even his cock and balls grew until he had an obscenely long and girthy member. His new dick was now 7.5 inches and hung low like a bull with how heavy his cum filled balls had become.

After the extra mass came the body hair. Matthew’s once perfectly smooth body began sprouting hair everywhere! His hair grew out until he had shoulder length curls like Tarzan. His face tingled as a full beard and mustache quickly grew in. His chest and midsection got covered with a fine layer of brown hair. Even his pit and pubic hair grew and grew until he had an unruly forest of hair in each area. By the time the transformation was finally over, Matthew had become an unrecognizable version of himself as he was now a testosterone-filled, hairy beast of a young man. 

But even though Matthew just went through a magical transformation, his mind was still focused entirely on jerking off to the video. The two men and one woman were still going hard at it in a line. The camera angles kept alternating between focusing on the two men and focusing on the woman getting fucked. Matt’s favorite was seeing the man’s cheeks getting clapped from behind. 

“Oh fuuuck I’m close..” 

Matt threw his head back against his pillow. He could feel the pressure building up in his throbbing cock as he was getting ready to shoot his load out. He picked up his stroking speed. He was getting sweaty and red in the face as he was getting closer and closer to finishing. 

Matt lifted his head again when he heard the woman begging for more. He kept his eyes focused on the video. The video had a wide shot which showed all three of them. Matt started with the two men, but as he kept stroking, he found his eyes unconsciously gravitating towards the woman. Matt wasn’t sure why he did that. He shifted his attention back to men, but found himself focusing back on the woman again within seconds. Suddenly, the woman was all Matt could focus on. Even if he tried to look away he just couldn’t! Even if he tried to imagine a hot man with a hung cock all Matt could picture was a woman with massive tits! Matt was panting at the sight of the woman’s tiddies bouncing up and down as she took a pounding. Her beautiful body was wet with sex sweat. Seeing her throw her head back as she let out a loud moan made Matthew tremble and twitch with anticipation. He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to burst!

Matt let out a guttural groan as ropes of warm cum shot out of his engorged cock. His hairy chest became drenched with his spunk. Even by the time he finished shooting load after load, his dick was still twitched and throbbing with how much cum he shot out. Matt sighed with relief as he threw his arms back to cool down after such an intense jerk off session. His body hair was dripping with how drenched it was with sweat and cum. On top of that, the room now reeked of a man’s sweaty musk, but Matt didn’t care. He was satisfied and content. 

Once Matt finally caught his breath, it was time for him to clean up the sticky mess he just made. His initial instinct was to gather up all his cum with his fingers and then swallow it all, but Matt stopped when he realized how fucking gay that was. He had absolutely no interest in ever tasting cum. After all, why would a straight guy like Matt want to swallow cum? 

Matt went to the bathroom and cleaned the jizz off his body. He then went ahead and changed his bed sheets too due to dripping all over them. Once that was done, Matt stood in his bedroom. He then lifted his arm up, letting the wild bush of pit hair hang free as he took a deep sniff of himself. Matt could smell some musk, but decided it wasn’t anything some cologne couldn’t cover up. 

“Yo! Anyone home?” 

Matt’s ears perked up when he heard his roommate Dave call out. He then walked out and greeted his best bud by dabbing him up. Matt and Dave were brothers from different mothers and were known for their unbeatable bromance.

“Dave, my man! What are you doing home so early!? It’s barely midnight!”

“I know, bro, but check it, Darcy just invited me to go check out this new club downtown with her. It’s hella exclusive, you gotta come with us, Matt! I need my shotgun brother there if I’m gonna club all night!! Plus, Darcy’s got a friend. Brianna, I think you’ll like her…”

“She cute?” Matt asked with an eyebrow raised. Dave nodded. “Cup size?”

“Double D’s, AND she never wears a bra when she goes out! Trust me bro, you gotta meet her, I know for a fact y’all are perfect together!!”

Matt was convinced the moment he heard “D.” He was always a boobs over ass kinda guy after all. Matt quickly got dressed, then went out to have the best night of his life at the club with his bro Dave, ending with them tag teaming Darcy and Brianna in bed. All while Matt was completely oblivious to the fact that the Reality Wizard had granted his wish. Matt definitely got laid just like his straight roommate Dave, just like he wished, although he probably didn’t expect the online genie to twist his carelessly worded wish. Not that Matt really cared about his former self, after all, he had a girlfriend with two very big reasons why he should enjoy the new reality he wished for himself.

[gunsandspaceships]

Is Tony REALLY addicted to coffee?

The poll shows that the vast majority of fans (84%) believe that Tony cannot live without coffee.

Nope.

Let's see what he drinks.

Iron Man (2008):

0:11:55 and 1:14:25 - Mineral water Perrier (a lot in the fridge), Espresso machine and espresso cups in the lab. He used to drink a lot of espresso.

0:12:15 - espresso in the morning.

Deleted scene "Tony & Rhodey on Stark Jet" - coffee and juice in the morning.

0:12:15 and 0:26:55 - tea and water in the cave (not many options there).

0:54:20 - working on Mark 2 - coffee mug on his desk and 0:56:55 - a few days later - there are 2 coffee mugs (white and black) next to the desk.

0:57:25 - perhaps the next day, Pepper brought him another mug (though he has a coffee maker in his lab, and he probably poured the previous cups and mugs himself), and at 1:05:25 - the same mug, half full of black coffee. Tony did not touch it for quite a while.

1:06:15 - Smoothie: Begins (there's a full blender).

Conclusion for IM1: coffee seems to be his favorite drink, he has an espresso machine in his lab, drinks espresso or black coffee and juice in the morning, 2-3 mugs of black coffee during the day, smoothie in the evening, sometimes drinks mineral water. Had to drink tea in the cave.

Iron Man 2:

0:18:20 - U makes him smoothie (he tries). You can see Dr Pepper and mineral water in the fridge. The espresso machine is still there, but the cups are gone. Tony switched from coffee to chlorophyll.

0:23:45 - chlorophyll all day.

0:49:20 - chlorophyll.

1:01:40 - coffee with Nick in the morning.

1:07:05 - mineral water with Nick.

1:09:25 - tried to get more coffee but Coulson said no.

1:13:20 - drinks Dr Pepper with ice instead.

Conclusion for IM2: Tony had to drink chlorophyll to reduce symptoms of palladium poisoning. He stopped drinking espresso. Drank coffee occasionally and only from cafes. Started drinking soda (Dr Pepper). Also drank smoothies and mineral water.

The Avengers:

1:39:45 and 2:12:55 - no coffee machine in Tony's penthouse. But the blender is there. Tony drinks his smoothie.

2:22:20 - the team is drinking something, maybe coffee, maybe not.

Conclusion for The Avengers: Tony didn't drink coffee, even in the lab. We don't see a coffee machine in his penthouse. But he drinks a lot of smoothies (which we can tell by the presence of the blender).

P.S. If Marvel wanted to show that Tony drinks a lot of coffee, they would have shown us a coffee machine, not a blender with smoothies.

Iron Man 3:

0:10:50 - Tony is in a restaurant with Rhodey and drinking water.

0:21:05 - water with dinner.

0:45:05 - Tony asked Harley for a tuna sandwich, but didn't ask for coffee or anything else to drink. He could just drink water from a sink.

0:52:25 - most likely water. Again.

1:12:30 - energy drink? He'll need it.

Conclusion for IM3: no coffee. Seems like Tony is addicted to water though.

Age of Ultron:

0:16:50 - looks like old pal chlorophyll.

0:20:40 - Dr Pepper.

0:20:45 - the only time in the movie we see Tony drinking coffee (probably). In several scenes in the lab there is a black mug, but it is Bruce's (0:41:42).

1:08:58 and 1:14:09 - lemonade?

Conclusion for AoU: Tony drinks anything - smoothies, chlorophyll, soda, coffee, lemonade. We only saw him drink coffee once here. There's only a blender in his space, no mugs around in the lab (only Bruce's one).

Civil War:

0:29:15 - Tony washed down a pill with water from an electric kettle.

1:17:40 - Tony and May drink tea. He could have asked May to pour him coffee, but for some reason chose tea.

Conclusion for CW: very very strange. Tony drinks tea. And doesn't drink coffee.

Spider-Man Homecoming:

Only (probably) lemonade at 0:37:30.

Infinity War:

No drinks.

Endgame:

0:34:17 - maybe cold coffee, maybe something else.

0:39:35 - something in his bottle, impossible to say what. Probably not coffee.

1:02:19 - coffee from a cafe.

1:05:00 - there are 2 cups on the desk, most likely for Nat and Tony.

Conclusion for Endgame: coffee is back as a favorite drink it seems. After 15 years of smoothies and water.

So, no addiction. Tony can drink anything, even tea.

[asksythe]

Dead languages and maybe Wei Ying is long-lost royalty

Today I had a discussion with @pakhnokh​ regarding why Wei Wuxian didn’t know the deeper layer of meaning behind the Lan forehead band. It was a long discussion on Twitter, so I figured I should just make a post here and leave this information out for anyone who might find it useful. 

To start off: The reason why Wei Ying didn't know the deeper layer of meaning of the Lan forehead band was in the book. But it was written in a very opaque way, in one single throw-away line. In the book, when Wei Ying had to copy the Lan rules, he specifically complained that the rules were written in seal script. 

The Useless Ye Olde’ Script

Seal script is a script that predated traditional Mandarin. It was infamous for being needlessly complex and having dozens, if not hundreds different dialects and writing methods. Some forms of seal script were entirely different languages altogether. When Qin Shi Huang united ancient China, he burned a lot of books and forced people to adopt a standard way to write, thus cementing traditional Mandarin as a singular language that is still used today, 2000 years after. A way to visualize how complex seal script was, is that there were 22 different ways to write the word 'sword'.

That is how mind-bogglingly complex it was. And worse, it was the source of much conflict in ancient times. To explain it simply, it was supposed to be one language. But if people could not even agree on how to write the same word, then how could they agree on more important things and cease warring against each other? 

Language standardization was one of Qin Shi Huang’s greatest achievements, if not the greatest, as it laid the foundation for more peace and eventual unification in later dynasties. 

This topic was made into an Academy Award-nominated movie, Hero by Zhang Yimou in 2002. 

(the word ‘sword’ that Qin Shi Huang decided on, thus wiping out the other 20+ ways to write the same word) 

Dating Mo Dao Zu Shi in real history (or, Wei Ying might actually be long-lost royalty) 

In a very interesting turn of events, MXTX has confirmed in her latest interview in Subaru magazine, that the events of MDZS happened during Wei Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties (commonly referred to as the Six Dynasties era by English-speaking historians, even though these two don’t perfectly line up).

Yes, the same Wei 魏 in Wei Ying 魏婴, Wei Wuxian 魏无羡.

So the events in MDZS took place in the era immediately after the fall of the Qin dynasty (caused by Qin Shi Huang’s death and his sons not being able to measure up). Therefore, Wei Ying’s generation is in a time after the language has standardized into a single form. 

The Lan rules, at least the first set and the meaning of the forehead band, were written about 500 years before Wei Ying’s generation, at the founding of House Lan. So that would put it squarely in the pre-Qin, pre-lingual-standardization era. 

So by Wei Ying’s time, the Lan rules were essentially written in a dead, kinda useless, and very very hard-to-read-because-it-has-some-hundred-different-dialect language. 

That’s on top of the fact that it was probably written in the highest level of 书面语 shumianyu (written language) possible. I.e. extremely condensed and truncated (with zero punctuation). 

So the Lan rules are more or less a very thick law book of a different nation written in the strictest, most condensed dead language that is in no way, shape, or form still in practical use for Wei Ying (and most other people not Lan). Do you feel like reading it? I don’t. 

And that is why Wei Ying never figured out the original meaning of the forehead band despite having copied the rules hundreds of times (first day in class, he was already punished and sentenced to copying the rules 100 times by Lan Qiren). 

Because he was just copying the words without really reading them. This was mentioned when Wei Ying asked Lan Wangji the meaning of the Lan forehead band, and Lan Wangji replied with, you have copied the rules so many times and you still don’t know?  

But isn’t Wei Ying really well-read and smart, and what about the Wen book?

1/ Wei Ying is smart and well-read. There was one throw-away line in the book that mentioned his having read all the books available to him in Lotus Pier, and that he had read all kinds of trivia (including the Thousand Sores and Hundred Holes curse that got put on Jin Zixun). But it was also stated that he favored practical things or things that interested him. Lan rules in dead, extremely hard to read language are… well… yeah…

There was never any mention in canon where he remembered specific Lan rules unless it was literally beaten into him by teenage Lan Wangji.

2/ In the novel, the Lan rules are singled out as the only materials written in seal script. The Wen books were standard issued to everyone who took part in the Wen education camp. So the chance that it was written in seal script is low to none.  

Wei Ying is not the only person who doesn’t know the meaning of the Lan forehead band

Jiang Cheng didn't know either. Jin Ling didn't know either. During the Wen archery competition, when Wei Ying pulled off Lan Wangji's forehead band, he did ask Jiang Cheng what the hell was that, when Lan Wangji and other Lan members reacted like he did something shameful. Jiang Cheng replied with, how the hell would I know? Their house has so many rules. Just stop poking them. 

Jin Ling didn't know until the other Lan teenagers told him. The only characters who know this in canon are all members of Lan house. The impression that Wei Ying is the only one who doesn't know is 100 percent fanon. Keep in mind both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling are clan heirs, so their education and knowledge of other houses absolutely are not low. 

In fact, the novel specifically shows that.....the rest of the cultivation world is not that clear on the actual specifics of Lan rules either. This is shown when Jin Zixun pressured Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji into drinking wine, a clear violation of Lan rules, and the rest of the cultivators in the banquet cheered him on.

 These cultivators were also heads of Houses or very high-ranking members. Many of them would have studied in Cloud Recess. So again, people who have high education… still know shit all about the actual specifics of Lan rules beyond a vague, general monk-like impression.

About the only other person aside from Wei Ying (and Lan members) who knew the specific rule that Lans do not drink in that banquet was Jin Guangyao, a character whose trademark is high intelligence and extreme social savvy (plus having roomed with Lan Xichen and taken care of him for unknown amount of time right before the Sunshot campaign)

Are there secret parts of the Lan rules?  

No. The Lan rules are public. The book is very clear on this. All Lan rules are carved into a massive stone placed at the foot of the mountain where Cloud Recess is, where anyone passing through or coming into House Lan can see it. 

This rule stone was first mentioned when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian met for the first time. Wei Ying complained that he didn’t know the rules and why are there so many things forbidden in the Lan rules? Lan Wangji replied with, rules are written on the stone. Go read it yourself. 

The second time it was mentioned in the book, was Lan Qiren’s first class. The first thing he did was complained that even with the stone and rules being in open space, nobody bothered to read. So he will read the rules now. 

The book mentioned at least two different sets of Lan rules that both need to be obeyed: 礼则篇 Lize Pian (Book of Rites) 上义篇 Shang Yi Pian (Book of Justice). Whether the rules are separated further into more sets or not is unknown. 

Why are some Lan rules better known than others? 

Because Lan rules are based on 克己復禮 Keji Fuli, a real-life Confucius asceticism that calls for the restraint/purge of one’s ego and to return to the core rites. This is also newly confirmed in MXTX’s new interview, though it has been more or less heavily suggested in the book itself, with House Lan being known as the House of Gentlemen. 

Gentlemen here is not the Western ideal of Gentlemen, but rather a Confucius ideal and set of values. Confucius is the person who created this ideal in the first place. 

So it’s not that some rules are better known, but rather the entire image of Lan House is a huge pointer as to how they live their life: with great restraint. 

[rottenpumpkin13]

Inspired by recent events - how would modern AGSZC handle long haul international travel? The airports, the flights and the inevitable jet lag

♯ Angeal always tries to find the positive and bright side of everything, so he's game for anything. He’s the one making checklists, planning every detail, ensuring everyone’s luggage is in order, and being just a little neurotic (just a little) he sees it as part of the fun and a way to ensure everything goes smoothly. Even jet lag can’t dampen his spirits! He views it as just another part of the adventure.

*Angeal kicks the door down*

Angeal: To whoever had the audacity to go up to the packing checklist I've helpfully pinned to the fridge and write 'calm down Angeal', I just want you to know that I'M FUCKING!! CALM! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO CALM IN ALL MY LIFE—HEY! GENESIS YOU GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN WHY I FOUND A WHOLE BOTTLE OF LIQUOR IN YOUR LUGGAGE? WE'RE GOING ON A BUSINESS TRIP, YOU DONUT, NOT TO A RESORT. IF I GET ONE WHIFF OF ALCOHOL ON YOUR BREATH I'M THROWING YOU FROM THE AIRPLANE!

*Sephiroth and Zack are watching from a distance*

Zack: Why is Angeal screaming at the wall?

Sephiroth: Don't look, Zack.

♯ Genesis loves traveling and views every aspect of it as part of the vacation, thanks to his aesthete heart. Packing is an artform to him, creating playlists for the car ride to the airport is essential, selecting books, and planning which episodes of his dramas to catch up on during the flight. Jet lag would be a downer for him, but he's rarely sleeping on vacation anyway, preferring to be out partying. But once he's back needs at least two days to recuperate.

*Genesis is sitting in the briefing room with sunglasses and a cocktail. Zack is fanning him*

Lazard: Commander, this is ridiculous. Your vacation ended two days ago.

Genesis: On the contrary, director. I'm still on vacation.

Lazard: Your theatrics are disrupting the workspace.

Genesis: No they're not.

*Sephiroth and Angeal walk in and immediately slip and fall on the sand that's scattered on the floor*

♯ Sephiroth is convinced that no one in the world hates taking trips more than he does. Work trips are terrible, and the 'getting there' part of vacations is dreadful no matter the 'distractions' he brings to keep his mind busy. Honestly, he'd be a happier person if teleportation were more widely used so he could just appear at places randomly. He's a homebody who loves the comfort of his own space and values his sleep, so jet lag hits him hard.

Zack: Hey, how are you—

Sephiroth: I haven't slept in 22 hours and if I don't drink something caffeinated and release my anger within the next minute, then I will be forced to enlist the help of the shadow that's been following me around all day to tape your mouth shut.

Zack: What shadow?

Sephiroth:

Zack, panicking: WHAT SHADOW?

♯ Zack loves trips, partly because his upbringing in Gongaga made him eager to see the world. He's just happy to be there, though he hates packing and always forgets to bring essential stuff like his underwear and toothbrush. But that's what Angeal is for! Jet lag is nonexistent to him because he can and will sleep through anything, as long as he has a comfortable enough space. The only thing he can't deal with about trips is the sitting still part... yeah, he needs to stretch his legs or else he starts to lose his mind.

*In the airplane*

Genesis: Are you alright? Your eye is twitching and your knees are shaking.

Zack: I can't take this anymore.

Genesis: Read a book.

Zack: I hate reading.

Genesis: Watch a movie.

Zack: I can't focus.

Genesis: Then do one of the two things I do when I'm bored—either poke Angeal with a back scratcher until he explodes or challenge Sephiroth to an arm wrestling match.

Zack:

Zack: Somehow I feel like Sephiroth breaking my arm is the safer option.

Genesis: It is.

Zack: Alright.

♯ IF Cloud survives the motion sickness, he will not be a happy camper during the trip.

Cloud: I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Sephiroth: Ginger is known to reduce nausea and prevents vomiting. Consuming ginger in the form of tea, candy, or even chopped pieces can be effective to combat nausea and vomiting.

Cloud: Do you have ginger?

Sephiroth: No.

Cloud: Then why the hell would you bring that up?

Sephiroth: It's always nice to learn something new, Cloud.

Cloud: *visibly annoyed*

Sephiroth: I realize I've made a mistake. I'm in the splash zone.