#Duolingo will take your family if you don’t take your Spanish lessons

[clarity2electricboogaloo]

The outsiders as things my friends & family (and me) have said/done:

Soda accidentally adding a shit ton of salt to rice while he’s cooking

———

*a mosquito flying around in the kitchen*

Soda: thats my best friend, his name is Leroy

Darry: well I’m gonna fucking kill Leroy

———

Pony: what’s exercise

Cherry: exorcism!

Pony: yayy!

———

Johnny: is humans edible

Pony: yes. Anything is edible—

Dallas: no. Well only the British.

Pony: ……..anything is edible if you try hard enough

———

Pony sticking a sticker from an apple onto Darry’s back and him barely noticing it like 8 hours later

———

Dallas: fuck off

Two bit: fuck you!

Johnny: you’re gonna fuck him???

———

Soda: why you changing with the door OPENNN??

Pony: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CLOSE IT—

Soda: GOBLINNN

———

Younger soda: *spits out tooth*

Younger pony: wHAT 😨😨

Younger soda: BAHAHHAAH

Younger pony: *starts laughing so hard he starts coughing*

Younger soda: I TOLD YOU SWISHING WATER HELPS ME GET A TOOTH OUT

———

Darry: mY LORD IM GONNA KILL SANTA

—

Darry: I HOPE SANTA KILLS YOU TOO

———

Cherry: All I’ve ever wanted-

Marcia: All I want for Christmas is you

Cherry: …

Cherry: All I’ve ever wanted is some big shorts-

Bev: All I want is love that lasts

Cherry: -like down to here

———

Two bit: who you talking to?!

Pony: discord-

Two bit: FRESHAVOCADO

———

Johnny: guys I don’t like Taylor swift

Cherry: and Taylor swift doesn’t like you

———

Darry: I threatened to throw my little brother over the border today which was fun

(I hc the Curtis brothers as Mexican)

———

Dally: hah short

Pony: I will bite ur ankles and steal your kneecaps

———

*two bit pointing out sign that says “topping is harmful to trees*

Dallas: good thing I’m a bottom!

———

Darry: both of u left me w a kid on my own

The Curtis parents: mb gang 😔😔

(Ignore the fact there’s two kids)

———

Soda in June: I forgot I got you this

Pony, who is not out to anyone yet: lol what?

Soda: it’s a rainbow ikea bag :DD

———

Johnny right, pony left

———

Darry: why the hell is everything in spanish?

Pony: ¿tú no hablas español?

Darry: shut your damn mouth

(Mexican Curtis bros are real guys trust)

———

*pony going to take a shower*

Pony: no ones in here right?

Darry: ahh, just George

Pony: George Washington?

Darry: yeah, his ghost

———

*darry burns himself*

Darry: MOTHER FUCK- OW

Soda: did you call me?

———

Pony right, two bit left

———

Soda right, pony left

———

Pony screenshotting all the gay translations in his Duolingo lessons

That’s all. These take a while to store up jeez

[anadiasmount]

HEYY fellow Latina here (Mexico) can you do something with like helping jude with his Spanish

HAII! 🤍 i’m from colombia 😋!! and ofc ofc! i did a fic sorta based with the idea of slightly teaching him spanish here!

“jude you have roll your r’s,” you say then show him again with your tongue. “rhss…” he attempted that made you grimace then laugh. “stop making fun of me! i’ll never get this!” he groaned and got up from his seated position headed to the kitchen. “yes you will! just watch how i do it, it’s simple just be kind sassy with it.”

“rrrrr,” he tried again slowly, taking a sip from his water bottle. “they’re you go! okay now slowly say this, ‘la rosa es roja’,” you motioned with your hand for him to say it slowly and to feel the r in his tongue. “la rosuh ez rrrojuha,” he moved his head while saying but getting wrong, making you smack your forehead.

“rosa has one r not a sassy r,” you reminded him hearing a ‘blah blah’ drop from his lips.

“try that again. and then we will say ‘me puedes ayudar a encontrar este restaurante’, okay?”

while your move to spain was a easy and smooth transition for the two of you. jude insisted and found it hard to communicate in spanish, already knowing and learning the basics like “hola. cómo estás? muy bien. gol. buenos dias, tardes, noches.” he just wanted to jump in and already know the language.

jude had not known you had latin/hispanic decent till you told him your full name and background. if he wasn’t in love then, he fell for you more. wanting to know about your traditions, beliefs, culture, food and dance. he would ask you later on to teach you spanish. but the spanish you spoke was slightly different to the one in spain. he didn’t care, he just wanted to communicate with the media, but most importantly one day with your family.

jude did not anticipate for the lessons yet to come. you taking it completely serious and printing papers of the alphabet and numbers, and some sentences to repeat over and over again. your afternoons that are once filled with cuddles and movies, now we’re sitting in the kitchen and going over the material.

you found his accent absolutely adorable, the cheeky grin he would have, how his íntense gaze stared into yours, his index finger guiding him as he pronounced the sentence and going over the words. “let’s make a deal. for every sentence you say right, i’ll give you a kiss. but if you don’t, then we’re going to repeat it in another way. so focus.”

this was way better than duolingo jude thought, paying attention to how you said every sentence and keeping in mind which words you said with power and aggression. out of the five sentences you wrote down for him he got three right. but you couldn’t stand the small pout so you just gave him a kiss to feel better.

over the next few months he could understand you, either asked you to slow down or repeat it, and you would try your best to make him understand. “okay jude, para la cena quieres carne o pollo? también puedo hacer una ensalada?” you said in spanish hearing jude’s footsteps follow you to the kitchen.

jude thought about his answer before slowly responding back to you, “yo quie-e-ro pollo con ensalada. per-r-ro no lechugaaa, mejor espinaca.” you gave him a shocked looked before peppering kisses all over his face.

“LO HICISTE AMOR! ESTOY ORGULLOSA DE TI!”

jude’s heart warmed when you called him “love” and told him you were proud of him. “gracias a ti,” he thanked you before going over and retrieving the chicken and spinich to make dinner.

if you thought his spanish was better then, it was even better now. seated at your parents anniversary, jude’s leg bounced up and down. “relájate, todo saldrá bien,” you reassured him, jude giving you soft eyes and placing a kiss to your temple. “segura? mi español todavía no bueno.”

“eso no importa. ya te aman, y vas aprendiendo.”

when you started dating he couldn’t understand anything you or your parents said. he felt left out and often wondered what exactly you were talking about but now? here he was talking in complete sentences in front of your whole family. your cousins staring at him in a daze, your mother smiling at him, your dad talking to him about football.

“if it wasn’t for you, i wouldn’t be able to do this. this was all i wanted. to communicate with your mom and dad. so thank you so much princesa, te amo de aquí hasta la luna si no mas,” jude whispered along your lips, making you bite your lip as you teared up.

“te amo a ti, mi bello.”

[elizabeth-karenina]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I wasn’t tagged for this, but I saw it on a mutual’s blog and thought it would be fun to do. I haven’t done one of these in a while, so why not? 

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I was named after a great-grandmother as well as my paternal grandmother—Dorothy Elizabeth (my great-grandmother) and Jeannette (my grandmother). I adore my grandmother, so I’ve always been honored to share a name with her. I never knew my great-grandmother, who died tragically young, and I’ve always been a little sad that I never knew her. 

2. When was the last time you cried? 

About a week ago or so. Look, I cry all the time nowadays, so I can’t even accurately tell you. It’s not even a bad thing, mind you. I cry at cute things as well as sad things; at this point, if I’m feeling the emotion, I just let it take over! 

3. Do you have kids? 

I don’t. I wouldn’t mind having one or two, maybe three, someday with a committed partner. But I am definitely not having children for the sake of having them. If I’m going to be a mother, then I’m doing it because I’m ready. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

It depends on the situation. I tend to only do so with my nearest and dearest, and in a humorous sense. I’m of the opinion that sarcasm has a time and place, because depending on the situation, sarcasm can be very rude. 

5. What sports do you play/have played? 

I used to play sports a lot when I was a kid. I used to play kickball and baseball with my cousins and my friends in my neighborhood all the time. And I played on a local soccer team with a bunch of school friends when I was 9. I even went to a basketball camp at my dad’s recreation center when I was 10. 

I didn’t keep up with any of this as I got older, mind you LMAO! I’m just not as athletic as other people. But I do love watching sporting events, especially the World Cup. 

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? 

Their faces, especially their eyes and their smiles. 

7. What's your eye color? 

Dark brown, like polished mahogany or melted chocolate. 

8. Scary movies or happy endings? 

Happy endings, for sure! As much as I love a good spooky story, I appreciate and care about happy endings more. 

9. Any special talents?

I can sing well enough, at least among my friends and my family. I tell stories really well; I do everyone’s voices and everything. I’m pretty good at cheering people up and knowing what to say in any given moment. I’m also pretty good at baking, especially cookies and cakes. 

10. Where were you born? 

In America, in Maryland to be exact. 

11. What are your hobbies?

I’ve gotten back into reading lately, which is wonderful, because I think reading is probably my favorite thing to do. Usually I like reading about history, but I’ve also decided to step out of that and try to read some book series this summer. I’ve been learning French on Duolingo for about 3 years now, and one day I’d like to learn Spanish, Russian, Greek, and Mandarin one day too. I like listening to music and podcasts on the weekends, and when I can plan it, I also like going to the movies and go shopping afterwards. 

12. Do you have pets? 

For about 13 years, I had a Latsah-Otsah/Maltese dog named Ringo. Unfortunately, he died last year and it was a hard thing to go through. I would love to have another pet, but I live with my family, so if we do decide to get one we’d ALL have to agree upon it. And right now, my family doesn’t feel like it’s ready for anything else, so SADLY I am petless. :(

13. How tall are you? 

I am five feet tall! I’m literally a hobbit. 

14. Favorite subject in school? 

English lit, world history, my Spanish classes, and my chorus class. 

15. Dream job? 

So many! I wished I had kept up with my music lessons, because I wish I could be in an orchestra or a choir. I used to want to be a radio DJ, too, but that dream fizzled out real quick lmao! 

Here’s who I would like to tag: @1980s-jean-ralphio, @miumiumacaron, @stcndupeight, @nellygwyn, @magalis, @roamwithahungryheart, @pocketwish, @octoberinflorence, @grand-duchessa, @midnightinjapan, @wifeofbath, @spicytchai90, @stray-kaz

[purplesurveys]

1655

Name all the pets you've ever had. We had a number of goldfish when I was a kid but I had always named them all Goldy hahaha I was never creative. We had Tobi (rabbit), Kimi (dog), Mitch and Andie (lovebirds), Arlee (cat); and currently we have Cooper and Agi, both dogs.

Are you on break, or do you still have a couple days of school left? I haven’t been in school since 2020 and have no plans on going back.

Do you like Stephen King novels? I’ve never read his books, but I’ve seen a handful of film adaptations – The Shining, Carrie, The Shawshank Redemption, and Misery.

Have you ever had a macaroon? I’ve had both macaroons and macarons and never had a positive experience with the former, largely because I hate the taste of coconut.

One of my friends dislikes animals in general. Are you like her? No. But seriously? All animals??? Even cats or dogs????

Do you prefer being on time, or do you not mind being late? I’m early or on time for the most part, but I’m not nearly as anal as I used to be about punctuality. I fully credit that to the pandemic and how it taught me not to take things so seriously, and these days I never really put myself in a rush anymore.

What is one adventurous thing you'd be willing to do? (ex: skydive) Travel to outer space.

Have you ever made a bucket list? Not really; I feel like that would just pressure me more than anything. I have a couple of major life goals I mentally keep track of, but it’s hardly a bucket list.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Chemistry, physics, calculus, and trigonometry.

How many cell phones have you gone through up till now? My current is either my 8th or 9th, if I’m not mistaken.

Italian food or Chinese food? Chinese.

Do you have more than the standard earlobe piercings? Nope, I have exactly just the earlobe piercings you mentioned.

Ever studied a foreign language? I guess I can count English as something I had to study? since I was raised speaking Filipino and very little English. I took up Spanish on Duolingo during the pandemic but never got past the tenses; and I’m self-taught in written Korean.

Don't you hate it when your family eats all the ice cream at home? Nah, never was too big on ice cream anyway. They do finish the tubs all the time though and very quickly too; you were very accurate on that.

Ever been in a near death situation? If so, what happened? I wouldn’t say so. Worst thing that’s ever happened to me is probably either a dog bite or the time my cousin inadvertently dragged me further underwater while I was already struggling to breathe, but I wouldn’t call either of these near-death scenarios. Traumatizing, but I was nowhere near death.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? No, I always found that method to be so wasteful on paper. I used to just rewrite all my notes on a yellow pad so I remember the lessons, then capitalize what needs to be capitalized and highlight what needs to be highlighted.

Favorite flavor of gum? Just your plain spearmint does the trick for me.

Do you tend to be frugal, or are you more comfortable spending money? Depends on the situation, which isn’t the smartest. I’m ridiculously frugal now that I’m preparing for a trip to Thailand, but if I didn’t have any plans like that on the horizon I’d probably be spending money on food deliveries and clothes rn.

Do you have a connection to any religion? I’m Roman Catholic on paper and will probably be so for the rest of my life, but I’ve been atheist since I was 10.

Ever played a team sport, or are you not sporty at all? Nah. I play table tennis but the most team sport-y that ever gets are doubles.

Do you put posters on your bedroom walls? Yeah, I do. Since having my room renovated in December and having all the posters taken down, it hasn’t been a priority though; I like the way my room looks now.

Do you sleep with one leg sticking out of the covers? No, my near-25 year old ass remains a proponent of the whole monster-grabbing-your-foot so I never do that hahaha. These days though I do tend to wake up with my blanket already entirely kicked off since it has started to get hotter where I live.

I have extremely weird, frightening dreams. Do you? I only get nightmares when I’m depressed, and thankfully I haven’t had any nightmares in like, two years. Says loads about my mental state as of late. :)

Has anyone ever told you that you're a good singer? No, because I am not.

Ever been to the Big Apple? If not, do you want to visit? No, and sure! New York and Illinois are the only two states I’m looking to visit; otherwise I’ve got no plans to travel to the States.

Opinion on Gangnam Style? I absolutely despised the song during its heyday, but my stance on it has considerably softened in recent years when I realized how talented Psy is. I will say he has other songs I find better though! New Face is really catchy, and of course there’s That That which I can never ever ever EVER dislike.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No, I always irrationally hated those lmao. Always seemed a little bit pretentious/condescending to me.

Did you ever watch the Lizzie McGuire movie? I LOVE THAT MOVIE. It’s all I watched when I was 5. If you popped it on for me at this moment I could probably still recite a good 70% of the lines.

If you did, do you know what the guy that played Gordo looks like now? (ew) Damn, why ew? Unless he’s since been exposed to be a gross pervert or abuser I think that’d be a pretty harsh way to refer to him haha.

How many email accounts do you have? I have one work email and two personal ones.

Ever shamelessly played Farmville on Facebook? I never did get to play Facebook games; I wasn’t allowed to make an account during the time when the games were crazy popular. I don’t feel like I missed out though.

Are you a big fan of dessert? Nope. Not too big on sweets.

Ever had a brush with the paranormal? If so, describe. No. I don’t actively believe in it just so that I also don’t end up being paranoid all of the time.

Were you one of the popular kids in high school? I’d hate to call myself popular but I was in one of the more-recognized cliques, I guess? One that was also associated and regularly hung out with the popular cliques in and out of school; I think it’d be fairest to say that.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. JV.

Do you know the band Vampire Weekend? Yup.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? Sketchy.

In general, do you prefer going out or staying home? Going out.

Biggest trouble you've ever gotten into at school? Does it count if it happened in kindergarten? LOL my friends and I were called out in a sermon because we were excluding some kids from joining our circle, and they ended up crying about it which is how it came to light. 

Apart from that I never got into much trouble...in high school I did try to provoke the teachers by being super vocal about my same-sex relationship at the time (Catholic school, I’ll let that speak for itself) because I wanted to test what lengths they were willing to go to do something about it, but for some reason we were never confronted about it, never got called to the counselor’s office.

Do you own one of those "professional" DSLR cameras? I did, but I turned it over to my sister when we realized it was she with the talent for photography and cinematography, and she ultimately took it with her when she enrolled in a film course. Then she accidentally dropped the poor camera to the ground during a shoot, smashing it to pieces :( and that was the last I heard of it.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? Maybe not bothered, but shocked? just because it would be such a jarring sight compared to my own experience when I was in Grade 6. I know phones and laptops are pretty much a necessity now, even in school; but that was definitely not the case when I was 12 in 2010. Getting caught with a phone or even a damn iPod back then literally brought the entire batch into a standstill and had everyone subjected to an inspection – bag inspection, body frisking, taking off your shoes, the whole shebang.

Favorite pair of shoes? My Ivy Park Forums.

Where were you on 9/11? Probably being put to bed. I was 3 at the time, was living on the other side of the planet on a different timezone, and had no clue what was happening. Any food in particular you just can't get enough of? Sushi, takoyaki, chicken tenders, anything truffle.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Eh, the thing here is you only get yearbooks when you’re in the graduating class because only the graduating classes would get shot for photos, so it was never something to collect unless your family is SUPER extra and wanted to get every single yearbook for the hell of it. And nobody ever did the latter.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? I do. It sucks. Nope.

Are you a fan of British Youtubers? (Marcus Butler, JacksGap, etc) I was pretty much the ambassador for the crew back in the day. What a time. It was Zoe Sugg, Joe Sugg, Caspar Lee, Alfie Deyes, Tanya Burr, Jim Chapman, Oli White, Marcus Butler, Niomi Smart; by extension Jack and Finn, Jacksfilms, KickthePJ, Dan & Phil, Will and Arden, Louis Cole, Louise Pentland, hell even Pewdiepie and Marzia too...and then didn’t the crew even have an EXTENDED extended version? Hahaha like Grace/Mamrie/Hannah, Tyler Oakley, Connor Franta, and Troye Sivan who would collab with them from time to time. It was genuinely an awesome and fun phase to spend my teenage years on. I even saw Joe/Caspar/Oli when they visited Manila in 2015 :)

Jalapeños: yay or nay? I LOVE jalapeños.

Did you ever play Minecraft? Nope, never understood how it worked.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I never played it. I tried it once, but it didn’t appeal to me.

Favorite concerts you've been to? Did you scream until you were hoarse? I do make it a point to scream as much as I can for shows I get tickets for, because I don’t go to a lot of them anyway. Favorite show I’ve been to so far was Paramore in 2018.

So where were you when the Boston Marathon bombing happened? I was at home, on Tumblr, knee-deep in the wrestling community, watching the events unravel in realtime and deathly worried for my mutuals who I knew were living in Boston or near the city.

Rainy days on the weekend: yay or nay? Any rainy day is an instant yay for me, unless I’m driving lol.

Do you look down on girls that wear shorts with Uggs? No, but then again nobody ever wears Uggs here so.

Californian girls talk and dress a certain way, don't they? Idk.

Ever crushed on a teacher? If so, what subject did he/she teach? Yeap, 2nd year high school, biology.

Ever take an art class? If so, what'd you think? I took an art studies elective in college and loved every bit of it.

[incorrectitachi]

Itachi quit Duolingo

Sasuke: Itachi, I came here for the truth. What really happened on that night.

Itachi: I lost my 101 day streak and stopped taking Spanish lessons.

Sasuke: …

[positivelypositive]

Any advice on how to deal with jealousy/inadequacy? Lately I’ve been trying to learn my father’s native language in order to better connect with my heritage. The language is usually taught in schools as an optional elective, so I have friends who already know the language better than I do, even though it is not in their heritage. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with that, but I find myself being jealous of them because I feel like I should already know that language.

hey anon,

i haven't been in your position so i can't say i completely understand you here. all i can say, is common between us is that i too want to learn multiple languages.

anon, it's not a very tricky situation. Ayou already know why the others know the language better than you do. there's a valid reason. the only thing that's not making sense to you is your reaction to the situation, right?

that's okay. emotions can be complex and they don't always make sense. but we can work on them and feel better. yes, you are at a disadvantage here but i think it'll work better if you remember why you're doing it. the others probably did not have much of a choice in learning the language. yes, it was an elective but maybe they were asked by parents to learn it or did it out of peer pressure.

in contrast, your reason to learn is so beautiful. you want to connect with your heritage! that's a good thought anon. so even if it takes you time, it's still okay. take your time. don't pressure yourself. get help from family if you can. use apps/programs that incentivise the process of language learning and go about it in steps and levels (for eg, duolingo)

anon, there will always be something that we don't know but somebody else does. you can either learn it too or not. you may get as good as them or maybe not. it doesn't matter. i think the best thing is the will to learn new things and keep your mind and heart open to new opportunities and knowledge. you're doing good.

sending you love and positive vibes ✨

p.s. i'll take ypu ask as a sign to restart my spanish lessons, hehe. so thanks for sending this!

[currentlylurking]

Phic Phight: Still Better Than Google Translate

Danny asks Vlad if he could teach him Russian. It gets… a bit out of control.

(Based on a Phic Phight 2020 prompt by @ecto-american)

(WC: 2389)

Still Better Than Google Translate

Vlad was decidedly impressed when he saw that his next appointment for the day was with Daniel Fenton. Typically, when the boy wanted to challenge Vlad’s latest ‘evil scheme’ he’d burst in and start shouting. This showed some forethought that had absolutely come from his mother’s side of the family.

“Daniel,” he said with a grin. “Please, close the door and have a seat.” Danny did, with a surprising lack of protest. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

Danny took a deep breath in. Vlad wondered which of his so-called schemes Danny had uncovered this time.

“Will you teach me Russian?”

That… wasn’t any of them. “Excuse me?”

“Ugh, fine. Will you teach me Russian, please?” Danny huffed, crossing his arms.

Vlad had dreamed of the day Danny would ask him to train him since the boy turned him down that first time. As they grew apart, that dream had seemed more and more unlikely – and yet, here they were.

With one glaring flaw.

“What makes you believe I know Russian?” Vlad asked.

Danny rolled his eyes. “Uh, your name is Vlad and your ghost form looks like it crawled out of Transylvania? It’s not exactly calculus.”

“I believe the term is ‘rocket science.’”

“Whatever. Look,” Danny sighed, and ran a hand down his face. “I tried looking stuff up online, but then there was that whole thing with Technus and the duolingo owl escaping the internet, so that was a bust. I know you know it, and I know you want to teach me other junk, so will you do this one thing, with no strings attached, please?”

“Of course,” Vlad said automatically. “I’m just curious as to why you want to learn Russian.”

“…You have to know English and Russian to be an astronaut.”

Vlad smiled. “Of course. Clear your schedule for Monday after school, and enlist your little friends to handle any ghostly interference. We’ll meet at my mansion.”

“Wait, seriously?” Danny said, standing up. “You’ll do it? And you won’t be weird about it?”

“Of course, Daniel,” Vlad replied. “We’ll consider this a trial run so you can get a feel for my methods, and I can see how you learn best. It’s clearly not in a classroom setting, if your grades are anything to go by.”

“Annnd I am leaving now, goodbye.” Danny said, automatically switching to his ghost form. He floated out of the chair. “See ya, Vlad. You’d better not turn around and attack my dad after this.”

“I would never hurt my biggest political supporter,” Vlad said. “And use the door, Daniel. My assistant saw you come in.”

“Oh. Right.” He returned to his human form and dropped, landing on his feet beside the chair. “…See you Monday?”

“See you Monday, Daniel.” He waved the boy off, and waited until the door was closed.

He had much to prepare – namely, learning Russian.

Despite the weight Danny’s theory held, Vlad was not Russian. He was a third-generation American citizen, with ancestors on both sides of the family who had both come from western Europe, not eastern. His mother, allegedly, had simply been a fan of the name Vlad. Vlad himself was fluent in French and Spanish, due to the copious amount of time he’d had alone after his accident.

He wasn’t sure if he even knew anyone who spoke Russian.

.-.

Vlad had to scour half the Ghost Zone for the ghost he was looking for. Apparently, he’d been released from Walker’s prison and then moved his manor so he wouldn’t be disturbed. It was incredibly inconvenient.

After a few wasted hours, Vlad finally found the manor and invited himself in. The ghost met him in the foyer.

“Hello, Ghostwriter,” Vlad said.

“Get out of my house,” Ghostwriter said.

“There’s no need to be rude,” Vlad said, “I’m simply here in the pursuit of knowledge.”

“Knowledge for what? How to release more tyrants from prison? Get out before I turn you into the side character in an Agatha Christie novel.”

Vlad relented, and took a step back. He wasn’t sure how Ghostwriter knew about his quest for the ring and crown – but now was not the time to ask. “I wanted to ask if you knew of anyone who could teach me Russian.”

“Absolutely not. Go away.”

“Come now. I thought you wanted to spread knowledge.”

“Yes. The knowledge that I don’t want anything to do with hybrids again.” Ghostwriter said, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If this results in anything of mine being broken, I will report you to the Observants for releasing Pariah. Why did you want to learn Russian? And why did you come to me, instead of any human tutor?”

“Daniel asked me to teach him.” Vlad said, and smiled at the other ghost. He did not smile back. “I had to agree. Our first lesson is on Monday.”

“So, you agreed to teach him a language you don’t know, and your first lesson is in four days.” Ghostwriter said, deadpan. “Impressive. You’re an idiot. You don’t need my help; you need a miracle. Have you tried tracking down a Timekeeper?”

“I don’t have time to chase down a fairy tale,” Vlad replied, and Ghostwriter rolled his eyes.

“Learning a language well enough to teach it in four days is a fairy tale. You’re an idiot.”

“Yes, yes, you’ve made your opinion of me crystal.” Vlad said. “What can you teach me within four days?”

Ghostwriter scoffed. “I won’t be teaching you anything. I don’t like you. I understand that you’re too fancy for words like that, so let me rephrase; I despise you. I find your personality and face revolting.”

“So you have said,” Vlad seethed. “I came here on peaceful terms. I am a very patient man.” Ghostwriter snorted, “but if this continues I will make you regret it.”

His threat was clearly effective, because Ghostwriter dropped the attitude. “You can’t learn a language in four days. That’s not physically possible. I could try and see if I know anyone willing to teach you the basics, but that’ll take a couple of days. I could trap you in a Russian novel and you can learn on the fly?” Vlad scowled. Ghostwriter shrugged. “Otherwise, I think your best bet would be some translator contacts and a lot of lying.”

“I’m not teaching Daniel through google translate.”

Ghostwrite took a long, unnecessary breath in. “These are a ghost invention. They don’t use ‘google translate,’ they use an actually functional language database created and catalogued by the Observants. Just – here.” He pulled a glowing contact case out of his jacket pocket and offered them to Vlad. “Just use these.”

Vlad grinned and took the offered artifact. “Thank you for your time,” he said. He left, feeling rather satisfied with himself.

On the other side of the closed door, Ghostwriter rolled his eyes. “What a dumbass,” he said. He’d have to get another gag gift for his brother now – and, much more urgently, move his manor once again.

.-.

“Megan?”

“Who even is that?”

“Redhead girl, freckles, glasses?” Tucker elaborated. “Kind of cute?”

“Obviously it’s not someone he doesn’t know, Tuck.” Sam said.

“That’s just what he wants us to think,” Tucker said. “What about Wes? That guy probably knows Russian.”

Danny swung his backpack over his shoulder and closed his locker door. “Who the heck is Wes?”

“Yeah, if you don’t know we’re not telling you.” Sam said, deadpan. She took a step back to avoid being hit by Danny’s overfilled backpack. “Seriously, Danny, is your tutor human or ghost?”

Danny gave a vague hum which, really, could have meant a lot of things.

“And he wonders why we’re concerned,” Tucker said dully. “Do I need to break out the boo-merang in case you get kidnapped?”

“…Potentially,” Danny admitted, “but I’m not leaving Amity, so I think it’ll be fine.” He checked his phone, “I have to go, guys, I’m gonna be late.”

“Don’t die,” Sam said.

“Don’t crash Duolingo by releasing an evil owl on us again,” Tucker said.

“No promises!” Danny called, already running out the door.

.-.

Vlad put in the contacts right before Danny phased through his door instead of knocking and managed to avoid jabbing himself in the eye. They got settled on either sides of a table, the spread of paper between them.

“Now,” Vlad said, and opened his own book. Beside the English word, he could see the proper pronouciation. “I thought it’d be beneficial to go over some basic sayings before we delve into the grammar. For example, ‘hello’ is pronounced ‘unbju.’” Ah, apparently the contacts helped with speaking as well. Fascinating.

Danny frowned. “I thought it was, uh,” he cleared his throat, “zdravstvuyte.”

“Don’t be absurd,” Vlad said. “It’s unbju. Repeat after me: unbju.”

Danny did.

Vlad grinned. “Very good.”

He’d have to pay the Ghostwriter back for the contacts – perhaps he could set the ghost up with some human publishers.

.-.

Danny phased through his sister’s door and flopped down on Jazz’s bed.

“Who’s there?” Jazz said, not looking back from her computer. “Oh, Danny? Thank you so much for knocking, come on in –”

“Does Vlad know Russian?”

Jazz looked back with a frown before she turned back to the computer. There were a few clicks. “The internet says no. Just English, French, and Spanish.”

“Ugh,” Danny groaned, putting his hands on his head. “Knew it.”

“Did you ask him to teach you?”

“He agreed,” Danny huffed. “Then what the hell was he telling me? We just spent the past few hours learning stuff like how I introduce myself with ‘yeban’ko maloletnee’ and how Mom’s ‘Baba jaga.’”

“I think that last one’s a type of witch that eats children,” Jazz said, and turned to face him. “That, at least, might be Russian?”

“Survey says: not comforting,” Danny propped himself up on his elbows. “Do you think it’s a ghost thing? Like, some sort of ghost language or whatever?”

“…Huh,” Jazz said, and tapped her chin with an uncapped highlighter. “It could be. But have you heard any other ghosts speaking in a weird language?”

“There was Wulf and Esperanto, and uh… nope. That’s it.” Danny groaned. “I could’ve been learning real Russian, and instead I’m stuck with stuff like ‘Jri govno i zdohni’ and whatever ‘Otlez’ gnida’ means because I’m pretty sure it’s not ‘goodbye.’”

There was a knock on the door. Both siblings automatically fell silent. Jazz looked Danny over, confirming that he was fully human.

“It’s open!” Jazz called.

Surprisingly delicate for a man who’d smashed a chair over a ghost owl less than a week ago, their dad slowly opened the door. “Hey, uh, Danno,” Jack said. “My Russian’s a bit rusty, but you were uh, saying so pretty harsh things there.”

Danny stood up. “You know Russian?”

“Those were Russian?” Jazz asked.

“Russian swears,” Jack said. “You know how your old Grandpa Fenton studied languages, I picked up some from him. Why, Danno? You looking to learn?”

“You need to be fluent in both English and Russian to be an astronaut.” Danny said, “Can you teach me dad, please? I’ll do all my chores on time and get home an hour before curfew every night!”

Jack laughed and clapped Danny on the back. He nearly fell over. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Danny-boy! I’ll have to brush up, but I’ll see what I can do. And hey! If you decide you don’t want to be a spaceman, it’s great for catching ghosts!”

Danny heard a distant, ominous hoot and had to disagree.

.-.

Vlad jabbed his thumb into his eye. Durak neschastnyi, he thought, which was a horrible sign. It meant this was spreading.

He’d tried to pull the contacts out after the lesson was finished. When he’d had difficulty, he’d decided it wasn’t a major issue. He’d had an important video conference, which halfway through this cursed artifact had ruined his business deal. Now, he couldn’t get it out. Contacts were supposed to be removable! When he found Ghostwriter… oh, nu vse, tebe pizda.

His wall exploded. Danny had returned.

“You taught me the wrong Russian!” Danny said, and threw his hands in the air. “Dude, what gives? I came to you nicely, why’d you have to – why is your hand in your eye?”

“Past’ zabej, padla jebanaja,” Vlad growled, whatever that meant.

“Rude.” Danny said. “Dude, I already know you don’t know Russian. Turns out my dad does, though.”

Jack? That Balvan? “Poydi k chertu,” Vlad said.

“Yeah, yeah, bless you. Anyway, if you want to learn and need a study buddy, then I’m willing to pretend that this,” he gestured to Vlad, “didn’t happen. Also stop with the eye thing dude, that’s weird.”

“Otlez’ gnida,” Vlad growled.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘goodbye’ to you too. I’ll go.” He held up his hands, “Once you say something in English. Like a cheesecake swear or something. I get it’s another language and all but dude, this is weirding me out.”

Vlad huffed, and grabbed a piece of paper. He scribbled a simple message on it – Find Ghostwriter.

Danny took it and raised an eyebrow. “Uh,” He turned it back to Vlad. He’d written in English, and somehow it had ended up in the Russian alphabet.

“Ti menia dostal,” Vlad growled.

“Yeah, now I’m kind of worried.” He waved a hand in Vlad’s face. “Hey, Vlad? You understand me, right?” Vlad smacked it away. “I think that’s a yes. Is this a ghost thing? Nod if it’s a ghost thing.”

Vlad nodded.

“…A normal ghost thing or –” Vlad shook his head. “Oh. Yikes. Well, have fun with that!” He started to fly out the hole he’d left in the wall – Vlad grabbed him by the ankle.

Ghostwriter was a zjulik and he would pay!

.-.

Ghostwriter sat down with a nice book on his sofa, a steaming hot cup of coffee beside him. Today was a good day. Plus, he really liked the location his lair was in now – it was close enough to Undergrowth’s garden that he could get fresh beans! Really, today was a very good day.

And then his door was kicked in.

“Ghostwriter!” Phantom yelled.

“Popal!” Plasmius screamed.

Ghostwriter took a sip of his coffee and set his book down. “Ah,” he said, “shit.”

***

Prompt: Astronauts have to know English and Russian. In hopes of getting ahead of the game, Danny asks Vlad if he could teach him Russian.

No, I don’t know how I got this from that either. I’ll reblog this in a second with a link to where I got all the russian swears from, so feel free to dig through that.

[hms-chill]

Secondly: Alex always saying sweet things to Henry in Spanish but won't tell him what any of it means, and he's always google translating them and awe-ing at how cute Alex is and then like maybe he learns how to say something adorable to and says it to Alex and Alex just like melts or something

I present to you: “Speaking My Language”

“¿Lo amas, cierto?”

“Por supuesto. Lo amo más que a nada.”

Henry, resting his head on his boyfriend’s lap, blinks up at Alex and hums a question. He’s too jet lagged to be paying attention to the Diaz conversation happening above him, even if it was in English, but Alex sounds so happy. Henry isn’t used to that tender tone being used for anyone or anything other than him, but Alex just strokes his hair and says, “It’s nothing, baby.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“Nah; we’re talking policy. Boring American things. Sleep, Corazón.”

That hadn’t sounded like Alex’s politics tone, but Henry is too tired to care too much in the moment. Instead, his brain sticks on the last word, and he asks, “What’s that mean?”

“It means I love you.”

“I love you.” Henry turns his head to kiss Alex’s wrist, and as he closes his eyes, he hears Alex say, “Papá, lo amo tanto. Más de lo que nunca pensé que podría amar a nadie en el mundo.”

“Y yo los amo a los dos, mijo. Mis hijos.” Oscar comes to sit on the couch next to Alex, pulling him into a hug, and Alex is so full of love he thinks he might burst. Henry feels Alex’s hand stop moving through his hair and presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s jeans, and Alex squeezes his shoulder gently before going back to playing with Henry’s hair. Just before he falls asleep, Henry hears Alex start to sing in Spanish, Oscar joining him. The last thought that crosses Henry’s jet-lagged mind is that he should learn Spanish.

-

He starts with Duolingo, just like anyone else who wants to learn a language, building his vocabulary in pieces on the way to the shelter or in other stolen moments. Some of the kids at the youth shelter speak Spanish, or are taking it in school, and he practices with them, fumbling his way through sentences and making sure they take him off any princely pedistels they might have him on. When he can, he’ll get lessons from them or, occasionally, from June over the phone. He holds onto the things that made Alex happiest, and once he figures out which kids will tell him the truth, he asks one of them what “Corazón” means. She grins.

“That means ‘heart’. It’s a term of endearment sometimes, like ‘sweetheart’, but without the sweet part and more personal? So more like 'you’re my heart’? It means the person who said it loves you a lot.” Henry smiles, and she asks, “Where’d you hear it?”

“My boyfriend. He and his dad were speaking Spanish, and I asked what they said. He said it was nothing, but I’m not so sure. I think he’s just shy. What about “amo”? I heard that a lot; what does it mean?“

"That’s 'I love’,” the girl says, smiling at him, and Henry blushes. He’s heard that word quite a bit in Alex’s Spanish conversations.

“One more? What… what does "hijos” mean? His dad called us that, and it made him really happy, but I think I keep spelling it wrong when I try to translate it.“

"That’s… 'sons’, translated literally. Or like… 'boys’? But not like 'those boys over there’, more like 'kiddos’ sort of? Did you hear any context?”

“I think it was just 'mis hijos’.”

“'My sons’ or 'my boys’, then. What?”

“It’s… thank you. You’re the best,” Henry says past the lump in his throat.

“Henry? You okay?”

“I’m fine; thank you, really. How’s your homework coming? Want me to proofread your essay?”

“Sure. Then you should tell me more of the things your boyfriend says about you.”

Henry laughs, turning to her essay. Still, there’s a warmth in his chest that he hadn’t expected.

Mis hijos. My boys.

-

Bea finds out what he’s doing, probably from June, and she’s the one who gets him connected with a tutor. It’s a birthday gift, and she makes sure to find someone who can be flexible and chat when Alex isn’t around. Somehow, the lessons feel like something Alex doesn’t need to know about. If he knew, he might stop murmuring Spanish phrases before they go to bed. He might stop talking to his family or the kids at the shelter in Spanish, or at least, it would feel less secretive. Plus, personally, Henry wants to wait until he’s conversational to reveal his newfound ability.

The bonus of Alex’s not knowing Henry can speak a bit of Spanish is that Henry gets to hear his say things he’s too embarrassed or shy to say in English. “Te amo”, I love you, is a common one, murmured before bed or in response to a morning coffee. “Dios mio”, my god, isn’t rare, and neither is “puto/a/x” (fucker/bitch). But then there are things like “me encantas”, which his tutor translates as “you enchant me”, or “eres mi mundo, mi cielo, y todas mis estrellas”. That one comes late enough that Henry can translate some of it on his own, and he makes sure to google “cielo” and “mundo” on the way into work the next morning. He melts in the back of the car. Apparently, he’s Alex’s world, his sky, and all his stars.

-

He’s thought about when to reveal his new talent. He’d considered proposing in Spanish, but being married to a prince could be detrimental to Alex’s career, and they’ve already promised each other forever. They’ve talked about it, but no matter how desperate the world is for another royal wedding, neither of them feel the need to jump through every international legal hoop. They love each other, and besides, Henry’s already given Alex a ring. It hangs around his neck every day, a constant reminder of their promise. Alex had noticed him rubbing the skin where it used to sit and picked up a simple gold band, just big enough to fiddle with, so perhaps they’ve already gotten accidentally engaged.

Instead, he considers Alex’s birthday, waking him up with kisses and Spanish terms of endearment. It would make a nice gift, and it’ll give him time to clean up his conjugation a bit.

As it turns out, he slips up well before March.

Henry never celebrated Thanksgiving before he started dating Alex, and last year, he had to be in London so he could be in DC for Christmas. He knows about the holiday and its turkey-based chaos, of course, but they don’t celebrate it in England. So when he and Alex get dressed up and board the train to DC with a big plate of biscuits and David in a carrier, he’s not entirely sure what to expect. They’re supposed to be meeting Oscar at the train station, then going to the White House for some sort of family dinner tonight and a public appearance or two tomorrow, but beyond that, he’s unsure.

“Henry? It’s going to be fine. My family loves you; there’s no reason to be nervous.”

“I know. I know it’ll be fine; it just feels a bit weird. I’ve never celebrated Thanksgiving.”

“Right, well, I got you something for that.”

Alex pulls out a gift bag, and Henry takes it with a slight frown. “What’s this?”

“Open it.” Alex’s grin is shit-eating, and he beams when Henry sees what’s inside. It’s a tiny t-shirt that says “My First Thanksgiving!”.

“Thanks.”

“There’s a bib too; it came as a set. And as a bonus, I commissioned one in your size, and you’ve got to wear it tomorrow.”

He’s pulled out a crew neck sweatshirt with the same design as the baby shirt, complete with a cartoon turkey holding a knife and fork. It says “Stuffing” on the back, and when he flips the smaller one over, it says “Cornbread”.

“It’s after the turkeys who made me call you that first time. But for real, I thought maybe David could wear the baby one, since it’s his first Thanksgiving, too. And you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want; Nora and I were on Etsy together and–”

Henry cuts him off with a kiss, then says, “I’ll wear it. Es perfecto.” It’s perfect.

“¿Te gusta? ¿De verdad?“ You like it? Of verdad?

"Um, sí?” It comes out more of a question than he was anticipating, and Henry gets the distinct joy of watching Alex’s brain catch up to the rest of him.

“Wait, you know Spanish? You don’t speak Spanish. Do you?”

“Un poco.” A bit.

“You son of a bitch. How long have you known Spanish?”

“Um, a few months? Maybe? I wanted to learn after that night you called me 'Corazón’. Your… you sounded so happy, and I wanted to know what was happening.” And your dad called us his boys. I wanted to know what he said that made you so happy, and it was that he called us his boys.

“You little shit. I love you so much.”

“Te amo,” Henry says, watching Alex’s smile shift into something quieter, more personal. More full of love.

“Te amo para siempre.”

“I… you love me forever?”

“And ever and ever and ever,” Alex says. After a moment, he adds, “Does this mean we can talk shit in public now?”

“I’m not very good yet, but maybe? Right now, I can tell you I love you more publically.”

“That’s more important. Holy shit, now I can tell you how much I love you in front of your family. Henry. Te amo. Te adoro. That’s 'I adore you’. Um, let’s see, what else.” And for the rest of the train ride, Alex teaches Henry the basic Spanish he needs to know, which consists of a lovely mix of insults and terms of endearment.

When they get off at the station, Oscar is waiting for them with a massive grin, big hugs, and a cheer of, “Mis hijos!”

Henry feels Alex tense up for a second before he’s swept into Oscar’s hug, and he makes a mental note to ask about that. But then he’s getting a hug, too, and Alex is opening David’s carrier and getting his leash on, and they’ve got an excited beagle to deal with, and they’re all piling into a van to the White House. Things are equally hectic there, down to the two new turkeys (Potatoes and Green Bean) who’ve taken up residence in Alex’s room.

It isn’t until they’re in bed that night, trying to ignore Green Bean’s stare, that Henry gets a chance to ask, “Everything alright?”

“Everything’s perfect. Tomorrow I get to watch you wear a stupid sweater and eat loads with my family. Why?”

“You… you tensed up when we met up with your dad.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I… it’s just… he called us hijos, and you… do you know that one yet?”

“Yeah, I… one of the kids explained it to me.”

“I just… I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it. I know he’s used it before, but I also know you miss your dad a lot, and I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to be okay with it; I can ask him to stop if you want and he’ll get it. He doesn’t mean to replace your dad or anything; I know he doesn’t. But he loves you a lot. They all do. We all do. Them not as much as me, obviously, but seriously. You’re… we all think of you as family.”

“I… I know. And it makes me happy. When your dad calls us hijos, I mean. It… it’s nice.”

Alex grins at that, cuddling in closer. Then Green Bean gobbles, and Alex lets out a quiet, “Dios mio.” Henry laughs.

“You sure you don’t want to sleep in my room?”

“I think that might be wise. I thought I could beat them this year, I really did.”

“Hold on a second; get the lights on?” Henry asks. Alex does, and Henry opens his instagram stories.

“So, I’m in the White House, it’s around midnight, maybe? We’ve got to be up for an appearance around nine tomorrow morning, and I’m going to show you all my very favorite Thanksgiving tradition. It’s when this one,” he flips the camera to Alex, who’s eyeing Green Bean suspiciously, “insists on keeping two live turkeys in his room instead of letting them spend a night in a hotel. Then, he gets scared–”

“I am not scared! I’m wary. Intelligently so; I’ve seen Jurassic Park.”

“He gets wary, and he calls me to protect him. That’s right, Alex. Let the motherland look after you. I’ll keep you safe from these vicious American monsters.” He stops the recording on a shot of himself hugging Alex protectively, and Alex agrees to let him post it on two conditions: “You wear the 'my first Thanksgiving’ sweatshirt on live TV, and I get a recording of you speaking Spanish.”

“I’ll butcher the Spanish.”

“It doesn’t matter. If you post that, I get a recording of you speaking Spanish.”

Henry agrees as they make it to his room, falling into bed together, happy to be out from under Green Bean’s watchful eyes. Alex falls asleep first, and Henry reaches for his phone. He’s not sure how often Alex uses voice memos, but there’s a recent recording, so Henry starts another titled “Corazón” and says, softly enough not to wake him, “Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz, eres mi mundo, mi cielo, y todas mis estrellas. Me encantas, y te amo. Te amo muchísimo. Eres el novio de mis fantasías, y soy la persona más feliz del mundo contigo. Te amo, corazón.”

Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz, you are my world, my sky, and all my stars. You enchant me, and I love you. I love you so much. You are the boyfriend of my dreams, and I am happier than anyone in the world with you. I love you, my heart.

On AO3

Notes:

Please excuse my Spanish; I was mediocre four years ago and haven’t practiced since. But here are some (intended) translations for the first conversation, which I believe is the only untranslated bit:���You love him, yeah?”“Of course. I love him more than anything.”…“Dad, I love him so much. More than I ever thought I could love anything in the world.”“And I love you both, son. My boys”

Edit: A massive shoutout to @felinarealista for fixing my Spanish; you’re an angel

[medlangs]

For the langblr asks: 2, 25, 26, 41, and 49

Thanks so much!

2) what languages are you studying and why?

Spanish- it was offered in middle and high school and is rly useful in the US. Once I finish med school, I intend to become a certified medical translator for Spanish

French- I got bored with Spanish in high school so the French teacher let me take home the French 1 book and said if I could pass the national French exam then she'd put me in French 2 next year. I definitely understand more French than I can say lol

Irish- my family is Irish and my granda speaks it so I thought it would be fun

Russian- I have a few friends who speak it and I took a Slavic folklore class in undergrad and became really interested in the culture and how shaped the language has been by it.

Japanese- boyfriend wants to go live in Japan for a year so I'm trying to learn enough to get by

25) what are some language resources that people rave about that you don't like?

For me it depends on your end goal and how you like to learn. Duolingo is really hit or miss imo. I think it's good for practice, and I think if you just want to learn enough to get by for a short vacation then it's fine. But for languages with complicated(ie- very different from your native language) grammar concepts, I don't think it's very good.

26) what are some language resources you feel not enough people talk about?

Descriptive grammars. I love them and find them far more helpful than regular textbooks. BUT they're not very accessible. They look at languages from a linguistic perspective, so they really go into the history and development of grammatical rules. This is great for languages with lots of "exceptions to the rule" or grammatical forms that you just straight up have to memorize, because there's usually a historical reason for the modern form and if you learn that then it makes more sense. But if you have no linguistic background then these resources can be very hard to understand.

41) how easy is it for you to find media in your target language? Does that impact your language learning?

For some it's easy, like Spanish and French. But I'm also at a higher level with those where I'm more maintaining my level than I am actively trying to learn more. So not rly affected.

For Irish, Russian, and Japanese, I'm at very low levels and the writing systems for these are more complicated so I actually mainly stick to reading and writing. I live in Ireland so I hear and read Irish around town all the time. For Japanese, I use Lingodeer which has good little stories at the end of each lesson for listening practice. And for Russian, well, I haven't been practicing Russian except at holidays since med school started :(

49) language goals for 2021?

My main focus is Japanese at the moment. But I'd actually like to start learning ASL again bc I think that would be so useful as a doctor.

[lovemesomesurveys]

How often do you…

check social media?  I check it throughout the day, daily. 

sleep in past noon? Everyday. Somedays I don’t get up until like 430PM, which is almost evening. :X

do your makeup?  Never anymore. It’s been a few years.

straighten or curl your hair?  Never.

brush or comb your hair?  Every other day.

take meds?  4-5 times a day.

weigh yourself?  It’s been a few years.

use the toilet? [just estimate]  Like 5-6 times.

drink water?  Various times during the day.

put on deodorant? Once a day.

change your clothes?  1-2 times a day.

eat breakfast?  Very, very rarely. I like breakfast foods, though, which if I have any it’s usually for a late lunch or dinner instead.

work?  I don’t.

go to school?  I don’t, I’m done with school.

take vitamins?  Gah, I’m supposed to be taking iron, B12, and vitamin D daily, but I haven’t been. It’s been awhile. :X

play phone games?  I haven’t played any in like a year.

watch YouTube videos?  I watch several a day.

log onto Bzoink?  Never.

check your email? At least once a day, sometimes more. 

drink soda? I don’t drink it anymore except for the little bit I have to take my medicine with.

drink tea? [either iced or hot]  Very rarely.

drink juice? Never. I don’t like any kind of juice.

drink energy drinks?  I drink a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink almost everyday. :X

eat frozen meals?  Not too often anymore. I used to.

eat nicer restaurant food?  We get takeout a few times a week.

cook?  I cook ramen every night.

bake? Never.

go on walks?  Never.

read?  I do a lot of reading.

write in a journal?  Currently, six days a week for the Bible study I’m doing.

post on social media?  Not very often. I go on and check out what other people are posting and “like” stuff. Occasionally, I’ll share stuff, but I don’t post very often myself with the exception of Twitter.  eat snacks?  I’m not a snacker anymore. I used to be.

exercise?  Never.

do laundry? I personally never do it, my mom helps me with that. It would be hard for me to do.

do dishes?  I rinse off whatever I use, but I don’t actually do the dishes or load the dishwasher. My mom or dad takes care of all that.

make your bed?  It stays made cause I sit and sleep on top of the tucked in sheets. I have a throw blanket I keep to the side and use if needed.

shower?  Every other day.

floss?  I’m not good about that.

brush your teeth?  At least once a day.

wash your bedsheets?  Every couple weeks.

watch TV shows? Daily. My TV is on a lot for just background noise, but I do have shows I watch.

watch movies?  It really just varies. 

play video games?  I’ve been playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons regularly the past few months.

pray?  Not often enough.

see your parents? I live with them, so I see them all the time.

see your grandparents?  My maternal grandparents sadly passed away over a decade ago. It’s been a couple years since I’ve seen my paternal grandparents. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to visit them. It’s hard because they live out of state. They used to travel here every summer in their RV and stay a few months, but they’re no longer able to do that because of health reasons.

see your significant other?  I’m single.

see your friends? I don’t have any friends.

see your siblings?  I see my younger brother all the time, we live together. It’s been a few months since I’ve seen my older brother.

see your aunts/uncles/cousins?  I last saw one of my aunts and cousins back in February. I haven’t seen any others in awhile.

go to movie theatres/drive-ins?  I haven’t been to the movies since February either. Everything went to shit and shutdown in March and we’ve been going through it ever since.

go grocery shopping? I don’t, but my mom does twice a month for our big grocery shopping trips. She makes quick trips to the store in between then for a few things.

use ridesharing services like Lyft/Uber? The first time I used Uber was during my Disneyland trip back in, you guessed it, February. We ended up using it several times during that trip. I haven’t used it since.

use a food delivery service like Instacart, Postmates, Grubhub, etc?  Never.

go to doctor’s appointments?  Once a month now. I used to have two doctor appointments a month, but since covid happened I haven’t been going to one of them. I only go the one I go to because it’s the only way I can get my pain medicine.

go on vacation?  At least once a year, sometimes more. Only once this year, though. I can’t believe my family and I had our big Disneyland trip this year, it feels like forever ago now. Who knows when we’ll have another vacation. :(

do outdoorsy stuff like camping or hiking or bicycling? Never.

take lessons like dance, voice, an instrument, or a language? I I’m not taking any.

play sports?  Never.

write anything like stories, poetry, or songs? Never. I used to when I was a teenager.

listen to, watch, or read the news?  I’ll check the news a few times a day on my news app and I see stuff shared online. I’ll catch some on TV sometimes. 

eat sweets?  I have a Hostess coffee cake everyday with my coffee. For the past month or so I’ve been having a lot of cheesecake as well.

eat junk food?  I eat fast food, takeout, and ramen all the time.

eat veggies?  Not very often. :x I have spinach sometimes with my scrambled eggs.

eat fruits? It’s been a really long time since I’ve had any fruit. :X

eat meat?  Just about everyday, usually chicken tenders or boneless chicken wings. Meatballs sometimes.

consume dairy products like milk, cheese, or yogurt?  I have cheese everyday cause I like to have shredded cheese with my ramen, which I eat every night. If I have scrambled eggs I’ll add shredded cheese to that as well.

go on dates?  It’s been a few years now since my last date.

wear costumes or do cosplay? I used to dress up every Halloween, but I stopped a few years ago.

speak another language besides English?  I practice my Spanish sometimes. More so lately cause my mom has been learning Spanish with the Duolingo app and I’ve been helping her and brushing up on it in the process.

[nonbinary-androids]

darjeeling and butter tea!! :DD

Darjeeling tea - What languages do you speak?

I speak English and French, as well as a little bit of Spanish. (I used to be fluent, but then I missed a Duolingo lesson, and if I go back now, then the owl will kill me and take my family hostage.

Butter tea - Show / Tell me about one thing i your room you find awesome.

Oh my god. So, I haven’t changed my room very much at all since I moved into our house, back when I was in FIRST GRADE. My favourite colours were pink and blue and I had a bunk bed. Guess what? I still have a bunk bed, and I have pink walls with blue polka dots and a blue ceiling. TO THIS DAY. I don’t even like either of those colours very much any more XD

[barfzal]

What about trying to learn French with PLD?

oh my gosh i was wondering when someone was gonna request one with lulu!!! i’m so happy, and also i literally don’t know a single word of french besides oui and je m’appelle so if you're fluent in french, pls don’t be insulted. i took like 6 years of spanish and still don’t know that either. 

so it actually came about one night when pierre was in the shower, you figured it was a good time to bust out duolingo and do your little french lesson. pierre kind of hears you from beyond the door sounding the word “apple”out to yourself and he walks in chuckling 

his towel is hanging off his hips and he is ruffling his hair with the other towel in his palm “what are you doing over there?” he asks with a slight grin as he turns to the dresser and pulls on some boxer briefs while you look at your screen 

“none of your business” you say with a little smile while you mute the french translations and pierre walks over quickly grabbing your waist while laying next to you and squeezing you, gently tickling you at your sides making you squeal a little 

“no, p, stop” you say while giggling and he quickly snatched your phone from your hand, while you crawl over him to get it back, he sees the app open and laughs “why didn’t you just tell me you wanted to learn french? i could teach you,” he says with a grin

“just cause you can speak french doesn’t mean you can teach it” you say taking the phone from him and locking it, “plus i wanted to maybe surprise you one day if i get good enough” you say and he smiles and turns over to face you in bed 

“why?” he inquires, pushing back strands of your hair while kissing your forehead “i dunno” you shrug sheepishly “i want to like be able to speak with your family and stuff in french too, it sucks that you guys have to speak english around me” you explain and pierre’s fingers are grazing your cheeks 

“hey, i didn’t know you felt that way” he says slightly softening his tone and pulling you to him to kiss you “come on i can teach you if you really want to, but you know that they love you, and they don’t mind” he explains rubbing your back in small circles while kissing your cheek gently over and over 

you smile a bit and bite your bottom lip “so you’re gonna be my teacher” you ask while kissing his lips once more and he squeezes your waist while dragging you into him more “yeah but you have to put on one of those little skirts” he says while laughing and you laugh with him 

you both kiss each other slowly and he pulls his lips from yours with a slight groan “good thing there’s no policy about sleeping with my student huh?” he says while kissing over your jaw and you nod your head, moaning at his warm kisses over your throat 

"fuck i’m really never going to learn french this way,” you say with a soft giggle and you both laugh together before pierre kisses you again 

“not much the first few lessons, but we’ll manage” he says while spanking your butt and pulling you on top of his chest to continue your lesson 

[talk-geek-to-me]

All the ones you didn't do in the last ask!

So I’m finally getting around to doing this. and you fUCKING HATE ME. This is gonna be hella long.  (she asked for all of them)

This is for the WaterColor asks that I posted last night

Zinc White: how are you really feeling today? I’m very tired tbh like all i wanna do today is sleep rn. very tired

Cadmium Yellow: When you think of the word “happy” what's the first thing that comes to mind? ummmmm probably my boyfriend and the very funny moments you and i share

Lemon: What’s your comfort food? Ben and Jerry’s Brownie Batter Core Ice cream. that shit makes me feel better immediately

Hansa Yellow: What’s your guilty pleasure song? honestly idk, but i will tell you the song that I cant get enough of and its All Time Low by Jon Bellion. like i honestly cant get enough of it rn

Yellow Ochre: Name an artist/band whom you just discovered and cant get enough of. right now its the song that I just said in the last ask. but the band? shit ummmmmm, idk but i’ve been listening to anything in my liked playlist from spotify. so it varies

Naples Yellow: where do you feel most at home? uh, i dont really know. I moved to Idaho so i haven’t figured that most yet

Raw Sienna: with whom do you feel most at home? my boyfriend. I miss him so much and I honestly cant wait till i see him next

Golden Ochre: describe the relationship with your closest friend. JESS *insert random thing that im currently screaming about*

Golden Deep: what’s your favorite season? fall, i can wear converse and hoodies and be comfortable

Cadmiun orange: What do you like to do on your days off? i love to do things that have to get done. like today, i did more homework than i thought i was gonna do and cleaned my bathroom. it’s been a good day.

Orange lake: do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? I listen to music and not do my homework, just focus on me

Titans: do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? tbh i think i prefer slow mornings cause im not a morning person so that gives me time to sleep in

Shaknazaryan Red: are you currently binge watching anything? CRIMINAL MINDS

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? i think i’m a bit of both

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? not really theres a picture i really like tho. here’s the link! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/46865652355803785/

english red; what animal do you relate to most? honestly, a raven

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? british, like tom holland and tom hiddleston british

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? ....jess you know. but for those of you who don’t know, its the bad boy type... seriously, bucky barnes, loki, and according to jess its the dark-haired, chiseled features, built af, don’t worry, she made a point, like all the famous people im attracted to... all contain the same things that my boyfriend contains. my boyfriend is dark haired, chiseled features, thicc 

scarlet; describe your current crush/es. DARK HAIR, CHISELED FEATURES, BAD BOY TYPE BOYFRIEND

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? honestly, i dont have one

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? dont have one

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? considering i kissed my boyfriend within the first hour of meeting him, sure

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? im actually keeping up with school rn and im fairly proud of myself

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? sleep

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? windows. so many windows big kitchen, comfortable

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? not really, i’d settle down anywhere as long as im with the man i love

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? traveling

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? honestly, i havent been there yet

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? ummmm, im kinda always in a good mood?

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? [redacted] [redacted] [redeacted] [redacted] [redacted]

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? 2 or 3 kids, 2 dogs and hopefully a cat. married to my boyfriend

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? NO it’s too common, its why i prefer people call me meg or megs. i hate my name.

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? vanilla

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? lipton pure leaf raspberry tea, and it has to be cold

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? literally anything that i could water every once in a while and it still be alive

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? no, my life is really boring

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. curves, well built, purple red hair. honestly, im super comfortable with my body

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? ya know that scene in vampire dairies when Damon is comforting Rose as she’s dying? yea it looks like that

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? im pretty comfortable with it, just wish my boyfriend was with me

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? ready? you’re gonna laugh jess, Romania, Ireland, England

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? so my mom is from Chile, and she’s native in spanish, but im native in english and cant speak a lick of spanish, but i have been doing the duolingo spanish lessons and its like my latina side has woken up, but i cant speak spanish, i can read it and hear it and probably translate it for you

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? Stalking Jack The Ripper by Kerri Maniscalco

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? no, im too busy with school and work that i dont have time to read anything and its making me sad. but i always have a book in my backpack just incase

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? the first Avengers

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? clean my fucking greasy ass face

umber; have you drank enough water today? nope, thank you for reminding me tho

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? you, cause you always provide the best advice and make me feel like my emotions matter to you too

sepia; name five things that always make you happy. Superheroes, music, my boyfriend, my friends, and books, etc

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? today, i was sitting in my car ordering my drink from dutch bros and someone told me that they liked my hair even tho he couldnt really see the color of it. But i get a lot of compliments from my boyfriend about my eyes

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? shit, uhhhh, superhero murderer? 

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful! I’m gonna share with you the one that has my boyfriend going crazy 

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.10, “The Quacks”

The episode picks up not long after the last episode ended, with Buffy asking her friends just what in the hell that Secret Society scheme was all about.

Her friends, who were super excited to help Walker out last week, waste no time throwing him under the bus now.

Jonah didn’t like the Secret Society stuff.

Cyrus didn’t like the robes.

Andi thinks it was kind of a sick way to ask someone to a dance.

Walker watch out for the bus oh my god he has airpods in he can’t hear us! oh my god!

Buffy reels off a list of the things she didn’t like about what happened: no to surprises, no to being put on the spot, and no to predictability. The candles were cool though.

Andi asks if Buffy still likes Walker and she gives a resounding ehh. Buffy explains that Walker made her shoes like how he made Andi shoes once, a long time ago. Andi thinks that is so wrong. Buffy says it’s his “signature move.” Andi and Buffy imagine Walker’s given shoes to every girl in town.

Am I going crazy here? He’s an artist? He makes artsy gifts for people? This would be like getting mad at Andi for making you a craft gift. It’s what she does! It’s not like Walker’s going around giving everyone cheap store-bought gifts like horrible little gnomes or neon green shoelaces. As long as he didn’t copy the exact mural he made with Andi that one time, what’s the problem? It’s a homemade gift. He had to spend time working on it. It’s still really nice. By this standard, would he have also not been allowed to make a drawing of Buffy as a gift? He’s already done that for Andi so that’s off the table. Find a new way to be creative, Walker. Make a necklace out of discarded soda can tabs or make a headband out of an old belt or something. I know art is your thing, but, sorry, you’ve played that card. It’s over now. Move on.

By the way, Andi and Buffy assume, with zero evidence, that Walker is going around town giving shoes to every girl like an unfixed cobbler in heat. Why?

They also assume all those girls would wear those shoes he gave them as gifts to public places like the school dance, despite not being in a relationship with him. I do feel like most people wouldn’t wear something an ex gave them while currently being in a relationship with another person. That’s so thoughtless. Wear shoes Walker gave you as a romantic gift while hanging out around your current boyfriend? Who in the world would behave like that? That would be crazy. A monument to poor decision making. I simply can’t imagine.

Aaaaaanyway, Cyrus assumes that’s it then. Buffy’s breaking up with Walker. And Buffy’s like, yeah, we’re done. I’m ghosting him. Cyrus tells her that’s not good enough. Talk to him. Break up with him in person.

Feels like Cyrus could save himself a lot of energy by recording a voice memo on his phone that says “YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE!” and just playing it for his friends over and over again.

Buffy thinks Walker knows, but Jonah assures her he doesn’t because: “He’s a guy.”

The pinpoint accuracy of those three words rattles Buffy to her core.

At the dance studio, Cyrus... dances?

...has a seizure?

...gets attacked by a swarm of gnats?

...reenacts the Ides of March?

...is possessed by the spirit of an evil marionette?

I’m just not sure.

Amber shows up and asks if he’s rehearsing being electrocuted.

Ah. Damn. That’s a good one.

Cyrus tells her he has to come up with an original dance for his choreography final and perform it. Wild that he’s already got a final exam. His dance class was like a month long. No wonder it seems like all he’s learned to do is flail his arms about. Amber volunteers to tutor him in the art of dance choreography.

Wait, does Amber know how to dance? I mean, I guess she did at the house party that one time. But can she really teach Cyrus to capture the raw, super strange energy of this performance?

I have my doubts.

Over at Bex’s, Bowie presents Andi and Bex with a surprise.

That’s right! A plank!

Andi wants to know who the Quinns are. Bowie thinks they all will be, after the marriage. Bex isn’t so sure. (Maybe hyphenate?) Bowie thinks it’s important, bonding them all together as a tribe, but Bex also thinks it’s important for everyone to choose their own identity. (Hyphenate?) Mack is part of who Bex is. For example, it’s on her bowling shirt. (Hyphenate. Stitch “-Quinn” right on to the end of that bad boy.)

Andi proposes they mash up their names but they realize that would make them the Quacks and abandon that idea so quickly they never even consider they could also become the Mann family, which is pretty sweet.

Back at the dance studio, Amber asks Cyrus to touch his toes. He can’t, but in fairness, he’s only been at this dance thing for like two weeks.

Amber tries to get him to do some moves but Cyrus says it’s too hard, so Amber hair-slaps some sense into him.

At the gym for the first Spikes game, Buffy watches the opposing team warmup and settles into some depressing fatalism.

Her teammate, who the end credits tell me was named Kaitlin, says the team is well-aware of that because Buffy’s been saying it all week. Kaitlin tries to get Buffy to say something that builds confidence in the team but Buffy’s not interested.

The team’s coach shows up.

Her name is Mrs. Deborah Mendenhall. She’s the guidance counselor. She’s also late to the game, knows nothing about basketball, has the gait and posture of an elderly woman, and is dressed like a flight attendant for some reason.

On the bright side, she brought orange slices.

So at least no one will get scurvy.

Kaitlin points out that the good news is they don’t have enough girls to even play. Buffy’s shocked no one else is coming and wants to know why. Kaitlin tells her it’s probably because Buffy’s spent the entire week telling everyone they were going to lose and be humiliated.

Look, say what you will about TJ as a team captain, but he only went after one player on his team. Buffy recruited this girls’ team, then spent several weeks alienating and insulting them and eventually got 2/3s of her team to quit before they even got to play their first game.

I hope she’s cleared her calendar for a ton of redemption arcs.

Buffy says the loss would have been really embarrassing, but now they’re going to have to forfeit, which she feels is way worse.

I disagree. You can forfeit with some dignity. Floundering around the court while the other team beats you down leaves barely any room for that.

It’s like this. Say you’re going to a party, but right before you get there, you get mud all over the back of your pants. Huge stain. Can’t get it out. Just go home, right? Forfeit the evening. You walk into that party and everyone’s going to think you had a horrible accident. You can desperately try to explain it’s mud, or you can try to own it in some weird way I can’t even imagine, but let’s be honest, all you’re going to get is a mean nickname and an unflattering reputation about town.

The lesson, kids, is if you have a chance to forfeit, forfeit.

Buffy decides, instead, she’s going to try calling the team.

Up in the stands, Andi asks Libby if she’s still planning on breaking up with Jonah. Libby is. She then points at Jonah and mimics him texting like a dope. Jonah, who is good at picking up subtle hints, wonders if these two are talking about him.

Buffy has no luck convincing anyone from the team to come get publicly humiliated. I say call TJ. Tell him to grab a wig and race down to the gym. Worth a shot.

Instead Buffy looks into the stands to try and find a replacement. She spots her artsy friend who’s shown almost zero athletic ability over the years...

...and thinks, yep, there’s the ticket.

So, Buffy drags Andi out of the bleachers and to the locker room to change as Jonah and Cyrus head up to sit next to Libby.

Cyrus greets Libby with sign language.

Oh, by the way, Cyrus also knows sign language now. Where did he find the time? I can barely commit to the 10 minute Duolingo Spanish lessons on my phone.

Jonah asks Cyrus to do some translating. He wants to know if Libby is mad at him. Libby wants him to learn sign language. Jonah apologizes through Cyrus, but Libby walks away.

Cyrus tells Jonah texting Libby used to be an okay way to communicate, but now the two have been going out for a while. Perfect opportunity for him to pull out his phone and play the “YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE!” message.

Also, a while? It’s not been like, a couple weeks? Cyrus’s dance class is over already, Buffy’s team is just now having their first game of the season, Jonah and Libby have been dating two years and I’ve lost complete understanding of the timeline again.

Jonah says he hasn’t learned because he’s afraid he’ll be bad at it.

Cyrus says it’ll be enough if he’s making the effort, but I just want to put this back on the table: forfeit the relationship. Take your mud-stained pants and go home.

At Bex’s, Bex approaches Bowie to do some compatibility testing of their relationship by asking some big questions and jotting down some answers to compare.

Bowie asks her about calzones. I’ll take this one, Bex. It’s pizza with excess bread. It’s hard to get a good cook on the stuffing. The toppings are rarely dispersed in a satisfying way. Not worth it.

Oh? Guess Bex and I are more compatible than I thought.

Bex wants to play seriously though, so they jump in. Bex asks if Bowie would ever want to have more kids, to which Bowie is like...

I mean, why not? If it all goes wrong, Celia’s still around, right?

Buffy brings her newest basketball recruit out to the gym so the game can finally begin. Things don’t start so hot.

Andi gets a pass and then takes off running with the ball like a halfback on a football team.

She forgot about dribbling. Bad sign. Dribbling is probably the second rule almost all people know about basketball behind knowing that the ball has to go into the basket to score points. God, I hope she remembers that at least.

Things don’t get much better from there. The public humiliation of the basketball team happens just as it was foretold.

Mrs. Mendenhall, meanwhile, spends time handing out snacks to the opposing team.

I’d normally be mad about this but she clearly has too many oranges. There’s only five people on Buffy’s team. Might as well not let them go to waste.

Andi gets the ball again and immediately turns it over.

Buffy was worried about being embarrassed, but honestly, Andi’s taking the brunt of it here. Maybe stop giving her the ball? Save her from herself.

Buffy mercifully calls a timeout to think things over.

She pulls the team into a huddle. They think she’s going to chew them out, but instead, she thanks them for showing up. She apologizes for being a bad captain and says she’s realized losing is not the worst thing ever. It’s great that those who showed up are there and that they’re in the game.

Or, basically, isn’t it nice to just be alive and doing stuff? Which is a decent message for life but a really low bar to hurdle for team sports. Congrats to us all on not dying.

They start playing again with a newfound, joyous outlook. I’m glad they’re happy with this, but their play is hurting me physically.

Kaitlin catches a pass and goes up for a lay-up from about a foot away from the basket and nearly misses not just the hoop, but the entire backboard.

It thuds off the side of the backboard and makes a noise that’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. This should be a wake up call for Kaitlin to get her vision checked. Or some kind of medical checkup. Something’s wrong.

Andi gets a pass, then, for some reason, spins, runs the wrong way, and hucks a wild shot up from half-court at the wrong basket.

It goes in as the game ends. Everyone celebrates for different reasons. I’m light headed.

Are we really sure that wasn’t worse than just leaving early? Are we really going with the lesson here of: “Kids, it doesn’t matter how terrible you do, as long as you do.” I hope no one growing up to be a doctor or pilot feels that way. Please, do those jobs well or don’t do them at all. No one’s gonna cheer you if you put the wrong organ inside your surgery patient or get lost and crash land into the ocean.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie review their answers and find themselves to be really compatible.

I think the biggest sign of their compatibility was that neither of them thought to ask the other any of these big, important life questions before agreeing to get married.

Lack of forethought and an improvisational approach to life problems suits them well, I guess.

Jonah meets Libby outside the school. He asks her to teach him sign language in sign language.

If he really wants to learn, he should hunt down the 5th grade teacher who made everyone else so fluent.

Libby agrees to. She tells Jonah she likes him.

Jonah says he likes her, 2. They seem to have reached a good level of understanding in their relationship. Amazing what COMMUNICATION! can do.

At Cyrus’s dance class, Cyrus prepares to deliver his final. Amber psyches him up, he heads out onto the floor, and...

Guys. It’s no good.

I mean, he’s doing this march walk thing.

And this scuba move like he’s dancing at a party from some 1960s beach movie.

And the robot.

His big finale is the sprinkler, of all things...

...followed by the Glee throw-your-fist-up-and-look-to-the-sky move.

I just don’t see how Cyrus passes this.

How do you watch that as a dance teacher and not go, “That was the laziest collection of basic, stock dance moves I’ve ever seen. Did you learn nothing? Did you even practice?”

Is this all another lesson about just showing up and doing a terrible job and being happy with that? Again, it’s good to have a positive attitude, but that’s not going to save your GPA.

At Bex’s, Bowie sits Andi and Bex down for a new surprise.

That’s right. Another plank!

Bowie probably should’ve learned to get everyone on board with his decision first before committing to a plank. That “The Quinns” plank is basically expensive firewood at this point.

But Bowie wins Andi and Bex over with this one.

And the news that he intends to take the Mack last name. It really was a foregone conclusion. Doesn’t he know what show he’s on? It’s called Andi Mack, not Andi Quinn. There’s already all tons of merchandise. What are you going to do, render that stuff worthless? Pfft. Good luck going up against the Disney Corporation’s profits, bud.

Bex wants to know if he’s sure he wants to be a Mack, and deal with all of the things that come with being a Mack. But Bowie’s in.

So, the Quinn names dies with Cookie. Long live the Quinns.

At school, Buffy takes out her phone and makes a call. The person on the other end of the line picks up. Buffy’s like, hey, last time I saw you, I don’t think I handled things very well and can we please meet up to talk?

And who’s on the other end of the call?

This guy!

Oh, who is this guy again? God, it’s on the tip of my tongue. It was a weird name. The kind of name they stopped giving babies in the 1950s.

I wanna say Harry? Ronny? Ralph? Was it Ralph? I feel like there was a Y in there.

Let’s just call him Not Walker for now until I can dig through the Andi Mack wiki for answers.

[purplesurveys]

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

[chaoticmultiverseblogger]

Shaking, and trembling within his little boots, Ralsei was whimpering, hiding away underneath a small pile of clothes, inside of a closet. As Kris did the same. Large beads of sweat rolled down the both of their faces, mostly Ralsei's in the end, though.

Ralsei; K-Kris I'm scared...

Kris, holding Ralsei close; I-I... m-me too. Me too.

Suddenly, there was a sudden, very loud creak. Ralsei shrieked out loudly, climbing to the top of Kris like a mountain until he made it to his head.

Ralsei and Kris, speaking simultaneously; POR FAVOR NO ME MATES...!!! (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME...!!!)

Susie; ...?

Susie; Umm...

Susie; What are you two doing?

Ralsei; I... umm... it is a very long S-STORY HOLY SHITNDJENDNSMS F@#CKING H#LL.

....

=)

The environment went dark... it felt very cold. Susie froze up, her eyes wide, slowly turning around to see...

An... an owl...? Kris and Ralsei began to cry harshly, fat tears cascading down their cheeks, before Susie joined in, immediately closing the closet, locking in shut.

Susie; WHAT THE HELL IS THA---

Ralsei, slamming a hand onto Susie's mouth very quickly; I kindly ask of you to SHHHHHHHHHH.

.........

There was a knock on the closet door... they all shuddered.

Duolingo; Looks like you missed your spanish lesson, today.

Doulingo; You know what happens now.

The crying in the closet grows louder. A threatening knife emerges from the ground and into Duolingo's left wing.

Doulingo; Now beg for your life in spanish...

Kris vigorously shook his head for a 'no', choking on his tears that profusely ran down his face, clinging onto Ralsei, who was passed out from the traumatic scene.

Doulingo; What's that? You're crying? Come on. Don't cry.

Doulingo; Just one more lesson until you can see your family again.

Doulingo; M a y b e this will motivate you. =)

A light flashes... as Doulingo reveals two dead bodies. No longer able to take this, Susie ran away, very quickly.

Doulingo; They broke their streaks, so I broke their le----

Susie smashes a conveniently placed nightstand over Duo's head; DIE BITCH!