#Dumbass

[miasmaia]

you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[sapphic-design-is-my-passion]

It's called X because you should close it and go outside

[your-local-femboy-bitch]

Is this fucking eepy enough for your dahsboard! YOU FUCK FACE! FUCKING EEPY THEN! FUCK YOU!

Here! Dumbass Marcille for your dashboard!

[zenniefox]

Great catch methinks

I love webfishing yous gotta buy it on steam

[de4thpunch]

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Some of you didn’t seem to understand how magic works in the sense of how you can access it. I’ll explain again.

If you gain magical power from making a deal with a more powerful being, you are a warlock. Sneaky lawyer.

If you gain magical power through teachings and studies, you are a wizard/artificer. (Artificers usually gain power through experimentation.)

If you gain magical power by pledging yourself to a cause, being, or idea, you are a paladin. Pretentious bitch.

If you gain magical power by praising a higher deity (and not making a deal), you are a cleric. Heal someone.

If you have magical power and you didn’t do anything to gain it, you are a sorcerer. Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. The rest of us had to work for our shit.

If you gain magical power by protecting nature and caring for plants and animals, you are a Druid. Fucking hippie.

If you gain magical power from your desire to entertain and also fuck, you are a bard. Stop trying to seduce my dad.

[izutoast]

she tried and failed!

[ventique18]

~ Malleus doesn't understand verbal cues (very mildly suggestive) ~

It's 🐉🌸 first sleepover with just the two of them. They're at the lounge, eating burgers and popcorn while watching some comedy they copied from Ace.

🌸: "It's getting chilly... Do you want to move somewhere else?"

🌸, peering at him with all the seductive energy they could muster: "Somewhere...hotter?"

🐉: "That won't be a problem." *Magicks a thick blanket over them*

🌸: "I mean, do you..."

🌸, breathing heavily, not believing what they're trying to say and do: "Do you want... To... To... Have a bit of fun?"

🐉: "Fun?"

🐉: "Why, I am having much fun, indeed. This is a comedic film, after all."

🌸: "I mean!"

🌸, voice shaking and face red from embarrassment: "Do you... Do you... do you waaaaant, to sleep! With me!"

They felt like crying after blurting that out.

He paused for a few seconds, studying their face quietly.

🐉: "Are you already drowsy? We've yet to finish the film, but your health is much more important. Stand up for a second. I will rearrange this makeshift bed so that you may sleep comfortably."

🌸 cried.

---

Years later

🐉 suddenly jolts awake and exclaims: "By the seven!"

🌸, sleepily: "What's going on? Are you okay?"

🐉: "You wanted to make love to me that day!"

🌸: "What?"

🐉: "During our first sleepover five years ago. I cannot believe I only realized this now. I feel like an utter fool."

🌸, sighing: "Goodnight."

[religiousvomitt]

messages nikolas cruz sent to his exes new bf😭😭

[dogsstew]

Something about making sure your art looks like a Polaroid that I constantly fall victim to. Oh well, here’s too loser dweebs.

Alt vers below! V

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[rejectingrepublicans]

[nando161mando]

This never gets old

[reality-detective]

The ignorance of Kamala’s voters could contribute to the end of our country. 🤔

[zenniefox]

Grown ass dog

someone throw a glass of water at him

[patokascribbles]

me when i see my instalock duelist teammate swap to Star-Lord after I pick Adam Warlock