#Dubi thinks

[dubiouscrow138]

These are legit all my thoughts and a couple more on the teaser.

BUT

As a person with experience firing single-load black powder muzzlelader rifles, the sights are WACK.

Pistols, now and especially then, are so much worse.

So the fact that Stede is RUNNING and manages to SHOOT the dude he's fighting without flinching, without fighting recoil, and with the gun going off first try?

STUNNING.

In that moment you see his skill growing and it's a fucking beautiful thing. The luck AND the ability. Assuming this dude has not fired a gun before S2 (which would be fair unless he was taught as a kid and likely hated it) the fact everything worked out and the dude went down is AMAZING.

Moving on.

I want to see what happens with Izzy, as well.

A few of the questions I have:

How well will Izzy balance after loosing his toe?? Why did we see him with Stede??? Did he ditch dear ol' Ed in Blackbeard mode after he had a knife thrown past him??? Will we see growth, character and respect and otherwise with Izzy and Stede??? Is he giving Stede lessons???? Is THAT why Stede turned to him all hyped and going "I did a punch!"???? When is Izzy practicing his sword skills with the candles??? Is this a him thing or a helping Stede thing??? How long is he shirtless???

LIKE AHHHHHH

I'm so feral for this. Go wounded me with S2 but this bitch cut to the chase in S1 so I will either be wrecked or overjoyed. Only time will tell.

Welcome to the documentation of hyperfixation, people.

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TEASER THOUGHTS AND SPECULATION POST™

Okay, to start off, I cannot BELIEVE we got this. I cannot BELIEVE we got a voiceover of Stede's note to Ed. We were all thinking it. We were all hoping for it. I CANNOT BELIEVE WE LEGITIMATELY GOT TO SEE AND HEAR HIS LOVE RIGHT OFF THE BAT. HE LOVES HIS ED SO SO MUCH.

Followed by this shot right as Stede is narrating. It's difficult to tell, but it seems like Ed??? The one-armed jacket and the fact that it's layered with Stede's narration makes me quite certain it's him. But ALONE??? AND COMING OUT OF THE SURF??? (There's a shot later that has me PARTICULARLY raising eyebrows at this moment. I'm thinking that he fell off the boat/was lost in that one storm shown later, and Stede of course is going to dive in after him or attempt to get to him in some sort of dramatic way. Which makes me think he and Stede are going to potentially talk feelings/reconcile on the beach)

And the fight choreography of this. Are you actually kidding me right now. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. GETTING TO SEE ED ABSOLUTELY KICKING ASS IN COMBAT??? NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS DID I EXPECT TO SEE A SHOT LIKE THIS BUT I'M HOLLERING SO HARD OVER IT (NOT TO MENTION, AGAIN, LOOKING AT THIS AND A LATER SHOT..........I'LL SCREAM ABOUT MY THOUGHTS WHEN SAID SHOT APPEARS HSKDLS)

Oh, they're PINING pining. They're YEARNING yearning. They're GAY gay.

They want to be back with each other so so so bad I'm losing my mind <3

"Fuck you, Stede Bonnet." The way he's JUST as dramatic as we were all thinking. The way he's hurting in a way WE ALL ANTICIPATED. LIKE, YOU HATE TO SEE IT, BUT MAN DSJKLDSSDKL. Also, the contrast of him saying that vs Stede's voice over is so so insane. The editors are INSANE FOR THAT ONE.

AGAIN, GOING BONKERS OVER ED'S CHARACTERIZATION BECAUSE HE SEEMS EXACTLY HOW I ANTICIPATED. Outwardly, angry, hardened, and cold. Inwardly, heartbroken, desperate, and wanting nothing more than to be back with Stede. Because hello, HELLO, HE'S NOTCHED WHAT I ASSUME TO BE HIS NUMBER OF DAYS WITHOUT STEDE IN THE WALL??????

HI OLU HELLO OLU MY DEAR DARLING OLU

but also screaming and crying and throwing up because this is ALSO what i was anticipating/hoping for. the crew being like "ummmmm lmao captain?? you really think you've got this under control???"

"You think Blackbeard's going to murder you?" I THINK NOT BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EVEN SHOOTING AT JSLDKS. OFF TO THE SIDE??? A WARNING SHOT????? Also the lighting of this and his look matches the ending shot so I'm very eyes emoji at this entire thing.

HOWEVER...

"MURDERER THRICE OVER?????????????"

Like sorry, that sign won't stop me because I can't read. Look at him. LOOK at him. You're telling me he stole the wedding cake toppers so he could PAINT HIMSELF ON THE BRIDE??? SO HE COULD MAKE HIMSELF INTO THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE HE WANTS TO BE????? SO THAT HE COULD PLAY PRETEND MARRIAGE BETWEEN HIMSELF AND STEDE???????

INSANE!!!

INSANE FOR THIS!!!!!!

Again, bonkers editing. The split screen. The CONTRAST between Stede's hopefulness and Ed's depression. The WAY THEY LINED IT UP TO MAKE ED LOOK LIKE HE'S TAKING AIM AT STEDE. THE WAY THIS PROBABLY PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THEIR CHARACTERIZATION IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES HSDJKLSDS LIKE BITING THE EDITORS BITING THEM BITING THEM

ALSO ED AND ALL OF HIS GUNS,,, NINE GUNS???????

It kills me because he's probably being exactly what he thinks people see him as. He's probably like "Oh, you want a monster? I'll give you a monster."

WHICH,,,, NO, HONEY. YOU'RE A SWEETHEART, SORRY ABOUT IT.

AND THEN LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT OUR DARLINGS!!! FANG'S FUCKING SPIKES ARE SO METAL. FRENCHIE'S WOLVERINE COSPLAY SHDJKLSHDLKS. JIM!!! JIM JIM MY BELOVED JIM, AND THEIR PAINTED BEARD. THEIR GENDER!!!!!!!

Honey hsdksjds the drama of it all. THE DRAMA. CRASHING WEDDINGS TO DISRUPT LOVE BECAUSE YOUR OWN WAS DISRUPTED??? SIIIIIIRRRR THE THEATRICS, THE SPICE OF IT ALL

excuse me ma'am that is a gay man shdkjshkls THAT IS A GAY MAN. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING,,,

kiss me instead like wtf

OKAY NOW THIS,,,

THIS.

PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: THE BABYGIRL IS FIGHHHTTTTIIIING

BUT IZZY WATCHING ON??? IZZY????????????

I have Genuine Thoughts™ about this. I have a feeling that the big arc/character development Con mentioned might pertain to him like, REALIZING what's important, and what Ed actually wants and needs. And a good chunk of that will be him realizing the consequences of his actions, and maybe potentially wanting to undo the damage. And also, in his Bitchy Izzy Ways™, he might also get very very tired of Ed's sulking/theatrics and want to rectify things for that reason too.

So I feel like he's going to sort of team up with Stede and show him the ropes for that reason?? So they ALL can work towards betterment???

WHICH IS NUTS LMAO. NEVER EVER EXPECTED THAT.

REGARDLESS, GO STEDE BABY GO!!!

HI REVENGE HELLO REVENGE PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC LIKE EXPLODE OR ANYTHING PLEASE BABYGIRL <3

yeah yeah the titties we've all seen them.

BUT AGAIN, AGAIN, STEDE OFF TO THE SIDE. STEDE WATCHING. STEDE LEARNING THE ROPES FROM THE MOST UNEXPECTED PERSON EVER SHDJKSDS LIKE WHAT!!!

AND HEEEEEEERE WE GO. HERE'S THE SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER.

THE SAME BLACK SAND BEACH. FIGHTING THE BRITISH. ED AND STEDE. ED WITHOUT HIS MAKEUP ON. STEDE IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT.

ARE THEY BOTH,,, FIGHTING TO GET TO EACH OTHER??? FIGHTING THROUGH CROWDS AND ENEMIES TO GET TO EACH OTHER'S SIDES???????

WHAT IF THEY FIGHT TO EACH OTHER AND THEN KISS HUH???

WHAT THEN.

HIIIIIIYYYAAAA JACKIE <33333

ALSO HELLO IS THAT THE SWEDE BEHIND HER???????

EXPLOSIONS FIRE EXPLOSIONS EXPLOSIONS FEELING VERY WEE JOHN CODED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

AND THIS IS YET ANOTHER SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER,,,

LIKE UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WITH ED ON THE BEACH, AND THIS SHOT OF SOMEONE FALLING INTO THE WATER,,,,,,

I HAVE A FEELING THAT ED IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING THAT ENDS WITH HIM FALLING OFF THE BOAT. MAYBE HE TRIES TO SAVE SOMEONE???

if he fights to save stede from going overboard or something equivalent i'm going to eat all the tiles off my floor <3

LIKE IT'S BAD BESTIES. IT'S BAD. IT'S DIRE. THE WATER IS SO FUCKING HIGH AND THEY'RE IN A STORM AND JIM IS SCREAMING AND I AM ALSO SCREAMING!!!

But then also, LOOK AT FUCKING WEE JOHN!!! IN DRAG!!! HE'S A FUCKING MERMAID!!! JIM ISN'T A MERMAID???? WELL, THAT'S FINE--WEE JOHN IS!!! LIVING HIS BEST FUCKING LIFE!!!!! AND WHAT IF HE MADE THAT COSTUME HIMSELF SJDKSDJLS <3

AND THE FINAL SHOT I'M CHOOSING, THE FINAL ONE OF THE SET,,, MATCHES UP WITH THAT LIGHTING EARLIER.

WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, ED BABE. WHAT'S THE TEA. WHO ARE YOU CLOBBERING.

IS IT US?

IT'S PROBABLY US.

BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE THING HAS ME SO SO SO DEAD Y'ALL

[cowardlycowboys]

over emotional older sisters and their confused younger brothers who have to deal with them

[tomchar]

hi im back gays

[puckpocketed]

leaving this for you :)

i am swimming in a lake of koolaid rn

you are one of three (3) people who have informed me of this . did you know. did you know!!!

sniffling wretchedly... i think they like himmmm.......

also this article which i CONSUMED this morning for the full quote + more:

hold a guy on his back... tom wilson you are saying so many words in such ways ! what did you mean by this. pierre-luc dubois pack mule of all time. hes so big and strong (he doesn't hit people) (if u make him hit people he may put poison into his leaves and roots and kill everything in a 50 mile radius)

i think dubie is winning this divorce (vs kingstwt and no one else. they will NOT stop talking about him btw i think its saur funny <3)

[operafantomet]

Hey Anea, do you have pictures of longer Star Princess dresses? I think Emmi Christenssen has one but I find some of the longer ones don't exactly have the best shape. Thank you so much!!

I agree that some of the longer West End skirts has been long due to a flatter underskirt / underlayers - or maybe that the main emphasis has been on the hem, making them triangular rather than bell shaped. The 2005-2020 skirts had this tendency. Some newly made ones for other productions has also showed this silhouette. Here's Emmi Christensson in West End, and Caitlin Finnie in the current World Tour:

Of longer earlier skirts they had a bit more oomph over the hips as well, making them a bit more bell-shaped. To the left Annaleene Beechey, and to the right Lisa Waddingham Duby:

Of other longer skirts... basically all the German ones. And none so long than some of Colby Thomas' later skirts in Hamburg.

But also later German skirts, as seen here on Anne Görner in Essen and Elizabeth Welch in Oberhausen:

Of other longer skirts I would probably mention the Canadian ones. To the left Kimilee Bryant, and to the right Susan Sereda:

In the same vein some of the early US ones, as seen here on Karen Culliver and Dodie Pettit:

Last, but not least: Some Christines wear a skirt from stock, and they are fitted with the one that is closest to their size. They fit as such, but may be a bit longer than what's usually seen in other costumes in the specific productions. Here's two examples: Ali Ewoldt on Broadway, and Ana Marina in the World Tour.

(there's probably also a lot more to post, these are some of the ones that came to mind)

[cerastes]

do you think arturia needs more chipi chipi chapa chapa dubi dubi daba daba mágico mi dubi dubi boom boom boom boom in her life?

In all honesty, I do. I think she would greatly benefit from this and it’d unilaterally help her in her grandest quest and ultimate endgame: Finding out who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp at long last. If they put the ram in the rama lama ding dong one more time, consequences will never be the same.

[the-ships-to-rule-them-all]

strollonso in mother carva 👀👀👀

hello friend! please enjoy 1.6k of horny, in love, idiots. I wrote this in a fever dream, thanks for the inspo to the discord chat

Before they leave the paddock at Silverstone, at their home race, after both he and Fernando have both gotten points for the first time in awhile, Lance hears his name. He turns to see Anna, one of their senior hospitality directors. Only she’s the one in charge of the Mother. And has been since his dad had started incubating a new one when he’d decided on the rebuild.

Lance slows down, waits for her to catch up. “Anna,” he greets her. “Everything good?” 

Anna just shrugs, lips pressed together in a way that tells Lance the answer is a mostly no. “We’ve figured out why the car is shit. We’re going to need you and Fernando in the factory these next two weeks before Hungary so there’s time for the babies to start forming during Break.”

“What happened?” Lance frowns. He remembers going in with Fernando right after Abu Dubi. He’d done all his usual routine, just with more kissing and more touching and actually enjoying the getting fucked. It had been nice.

Anna laughs a little. “Lance, you know how we affectionately call you a cat sometimes because you’re petty if you don’t get enough of Fernando’s attention.”

“Yeah,” Lance says slowly.

“The Mother gave you a bad car because you didn’t give her enough attention.”

Lance stares. What?

“Fernando won’t like that,” Lance says quietly. He loves his boyfriend but he also knows how possessive he is.

“I’ve already talked to him. And he wants podiums so he just has to deal with it. Cause this is how he gets them.”

Lance wrinkles his nose. He thinks back to the want he’d felt when they’d stood together in 2022, the admiration, the desire. The longing.

He nods. “You want us at the factory when?”

“By Tuesday afternoon.”

Lance is going to do something stupid. Reckless. It’s probably too soon for it. But he’s on his phone to the jeweler from his hometown as he walks to the car. By the time he meets Fernando in their apartment, his bank account is short a cool $2 million. 

The next couple days are weird. Fernando keeps going to touch him and moves away. Lance swallows down casual “love yous” before they spill from his mouth. They don’t have sex.

They do drive together to the factory together and Lance pauses the music when they’re about 5 miles out.

“I don’t think manufacturing longing is going to get us a better car.”

Fernando sighs. “No other Mother has been this,” he says.

“Jealous?” Lance asks. Fernando nods. 

Lance scratches the back of his neck. He hates acknowledging it but in this moment it’s actually important. He forges forwards, not meeting Fernando’s eyes. “Babe, she’s kinda, well, me.”

Fernando pulls the car over to the side of the road at that. “Explain,” he requests.

Lance chews on his lip, thinking. “I was with her when she first incubated. I was the first driver to touch her. I was the first driver to come inside her.”

Fernando stares at him. “You were there for the incubating?” 

Lance nods. 

Fernando swallows hard. “Okay, okay. Cool, cool, cool.”

“No doubt,” Lance adds, cackling, Fernando looks at him blankly. “It’s from Brooklyn Nine Nine, have you really,” Fernando shakes his head, “okay, we’re watching that on the flight to Hungary.”

“Sure,” Fernando agrees. His whole demeanor has shifted. The tension and stress replaced by smugness. It happened in a blink. Lance doesn’t understand it but Fernando drives to the factory, one hand on the steering wheel, the other possessively on Lance’s thigh.

When he gets there, pulling into the parking lot, he tugs Lance into a kiss with enough tongue it leaves him breathless and drops the car keys in his lap. 

“Mysterious bastard,” Lance comments to the empty car, even as the fondness threatens to overwhelm him. He takes a deep breath and eyes himself in the mirror. The team’s seen him look worse. Whatever. 

Besides, the entire afternoon is blocked off for the Mother. He’ll look even more of a mess when he leaves to go home. Getting out of the car, he makes his way towards the area that houses the Mother, the babies, the cooldown room for the drivers. Anna is leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“Can I go in?” Lance asks. He likes to say hello to the Mother, to sit cross-legged like a child and tell her what he’s been up to before the business starts. 

Anna shakes her head. “Your boyfriend is with her now. Said he needed to be alone.”

“Sure, that makes sense,” Lance says. It’s another 20 minutes until Fernando walks out, whistling. He presses a kiss to Lance’s cheek and squeezes his waist. 

Lance looks at him, raises an eyebrow. “Do I want to know?” 

Fernando shrugs. “I’ll tell you later,” he says, striding off in the direction of the higher ups offices. 

“He’s planning something,” Lance says. Anna just shrugs.

“It’ll be to everyone’s benefit. That’s how he’s been since he fell for you,” she points out. Lance grins, ducking his head. He feels warm, a little spoiled, a lot loved.

He brings that feeling with him as he says hello to the Mother, strokes her gently with his ring finger. She pulses, welcoming, the walls dotted with sweat. “How was Nando? He was good to you, yeah?” 

There’s no answer, not that Lance had expected one. The Mother doesn’t exactly communicate. “I bought a ring,” he admits, looking down. “Not even Dad knows. Hopefully that makes up for last year. Which, I’m sorry about by the way. We didn’t know.”

He grins. “I’m going to be an uncle.” 

It’s easy after that, sitting there, one hand on the wall, telling the Mother about his life. He stands up after a bit, goes and opens the door and finds Fernando waiting.

“Ready?” He asks. Fernando nods, eyes dark, teeth gleaming. He looks hungrier than Lance has seen him in weeks, pushing Lance until he’s caught between them. The Mother at his back, Fernando’s hand cupping his face. 

Fernando pauses, stares into Lance’s eyes, and then kisses him, fiercely, devotedly. Lance melts beneath it, cock jumping to hardness in the confines of his jeans fast enough it hurts. Fernando only kisses him harder, licks into his mouth as he gets their clothes off. Once he’s naked and Lance is down to his boxers, the kiss breaks. Fernando doesn’t go far, reaches down and tears open a packet of lube. 

Lance wants to sink to his knees, wants to get Fernando off with his mouth but the look in Fernando’s eyes stops him. He clearly has a plan. One Lance will enjoy as he’s spun around, his back getting goosebumps from Fernando’s chest hair. 

His boxers are stripped, fingers sticky with lube stroking his ass. “Gonna treat you nice,” Fernando says. Lance spreads his legs wider, pleading. 

“You always do. Always give me what I want,” Lance says, his voice low. He feels the Mother reacting, as though she hadn’t understood last time. As though she understands now. It feels like they’re being cocooned, kept safe. He feels the sweat from Fernando’s body sink into his own. Feels his cock twitch, precome leaking at the tip as Fernando slides into him. 

Lance groans at the feeling of Fernando’s hands on him, familiar and welcome. It feels like coming home. Especially as Fernando speaks to him in Spanish, ‘carino, quiero, amor’ repeated over and over. It doesn’t take long. Fernando’s teeth on his neck, his fingers wrapped around Lance’s cock. 

“Please,” he whines, pleasure spiraling through him as Fernando finds his prostate. He’s probably leaving nail marks on the walls of the Mother. He wants to apologize but doesn’t when he realizes that the Mother is letting it happen, flesh becoming malleable as Lance shakes apart. 

“Love you,” Fernando pants out, his voice rough, his body steady. Lance comes at that, his want exploding out of him. Fernando pulls out so the tip is resting against his ass and Lance starts babbling, needing it. 

It feels consuming, like nothing else has ever felt this good. Like nothing ever will. 

“Nano, please, come for me. I want you to,” Lance pleads. He arches his back, twists his neck so they’re kissing, pours everything he feels for Fernando into it. It’s biting. 

Lance understands why there’s a rule about coveting in the 10 commandments when he’s with Fernando, when he’s naked and vulnerable and all his. 

“Mine,” Lance breathes out, closing the gap again, swallowing Fernando’s tongue, stealing his air. 

“Yours,” Fernando echoes, a vow, his orgasm dripping down Lance’s thighs. Lance turns, wraps his arms around his boyfriend and buries his face in his neck. Fernando’s hands are gentle, stroking his back, his shoulders.

“Shit, that was,” Lance murmurs. 

Fernando nods, pressing a kiss to Lance’s forehead. “The car’s gotta be good.” 

Lance laughs. “How many do you think we can make?”

“We got nearly two weeks and the team has basically demanded we’re in here every afternoon,” Fernando smirks. He eyes Lance, gaze catching on where their seed has intermingled on Lance’s thighs. “Would she be mad if we bring props?”

Lance raises an eyebrow, twines their fingers together. “Why?”

Fernando shrugs, eyes glinting in a way that makes Lance shudder. “Car might be faster if I make you wait.”

Fuck. Lance nods, eager. He kisses Fernando again. The cocoon that formed around slowly backs away and Lance can see the door again. 

“Should we?” he gestures. Fernando nods. He pauses, eyes wide as he looks at where Lance had dug his fingers into the Mother. Lance follows his gaze and sees. Oh. Lines dragging down the wall of the carva, like scars.

They look old already, worn in. As though they were supposed to be there. 

“Uh,” Lance mutters, a bit dumbfounded. Fernando just grins at him.

[dvar-trek]

dubie? used his size and strength to out-muscle a guy? and protect the puck? i have not seen him do this before! do you think he knows he's big? i think he is like a great dane who believes in her heart that she is a lap dog

[chrisoftheeclipse]

i posted this on my side blog but I feel like my main has more reach so

NEW VOCALOID SONG FEATURING SYNTH V MAI!!!!

if some person goes "erm mai isn't a vocaloid" vocaloid as an umbrella term.

me and dubi are genuinely really proud of this and I think its my best work yet so you should listen if you like seeing funny fish song hahahahah fish fish fish fish fish drowning girl fish fish fish

[phoenixriaartemis]

Part 10 and a little break from doing this(and posting the sim)

CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA MAGICO MI DUBI DUBI BOOM BOOM BOOM🗣️🗣️🗣️

Ok sorry. Tbh I was expecting this song to be in this year game(popularity in the social media) and at first I thought that it would be like other trolls map in the past but man this one is actually fun(my sibling is going to dance to this one a lot)

Like the choreo it's actually fun to do. The background is simple but work since this song doesn't need too much and kinda happy seeing Kitta back in the game(also it's funny for me that the dancer is the same one as T-Bam,kinda like Neo, boy is mine coach, being the dancer of Traveler but that's a different story). (Edit:So apparently it's not same one as Traveler then probably Thibaut was recording just the little scene he appears but Idk I think In Your Eyes was like around March or May and then something on July but Idk)

Anyways I can't believe I'm going to say this but 10/10 for this map

[deedis]

i miss you babygirl

i miss you too... my juby duby doo 🐕........ sem ended today inshallah ill be round... saw a garfield yesterday and thoufht of you... thinking of you always in fact🫶🫶🫶🫶 us soon vv

[cking398]

Chapter 6: Revelation

So in 2003 when the stress became too much I developed a plan, I figured I could hire my ex-mentor. I was smoking too many joints and it was a shit plan. I respected Karim’s broking skills immensely. Although Karim had never really taken me aside and explained broking to me. I had worked it out by listening to him. People forget we have 2 ears and one mouth. There is a reason for that, you are meant to listen more than you talk. I figured I could just hire Karim and another apprentice. I would be able to extricate myself from the day-to-day running of the business. Extricate me from the horrible nightmare my life had become because of this one twat trader Vahe and my pregnant girlfriend Sophie. Attacked on two sides. On one side, I was being hit psychologically by my pregnant girlfriend and her bitter complaining, on the other I was being abused at work by one of the biggest players in the market. A man who wanted to control all option prices before him. I could have simply cut his line permanently. Once I really did. Resulting in a farcical situation where he would call Nick on his mobile to trade. I didn't really want to cut this bank's line, he was one of the biggest traders. Never losing a client had become a point of honour for me. Also, if I could no longer have access to his prices it would have meant losing that little bit of competitiveness compared to other brokers who still spoke to him. I felt attacked at work and attacked at home. Something had to give.

By 2003, I was living in Repulse Bay, Hong Kong island. On Belleview Drive. I had the penthouse in this block of flats overlooking the beach. It was 20 minutes from the center of Hong Kong. I had a jacuzzi on the balcony, and a small swimming pool on the roof. Table tennis. A plasma TV screen. A pool table in the living room. Beautiful fiancée with a baby on the way. Materially I had it all. By this point, I knew money did not make me a happy camper necessarily. I was smoking too much hash.

I set my plan into motion. My old mentor, Karim, was arriving from Tokyo for a weekend break, or so he thought, I had other plans to discuss with him. Business plans. Karim was due to appear around 10 pm. It was 7 pm. I was sitting with 'The Apprentice' in my apartment: Charles-Henri Rossignol. He asked Charles about his family background. He was a Christian. I had always relied on his instinctive sense to gauge the goodness in a man. I picked my friends carefully and I thought he could become a good one. Although Charles was handsome in the extreme, he had none of the personality baggage normally associated with the 'beautiful' people. I sat on my massive couch. Rolled up another dubie and started questioning Charles on his family background and then bam. It hit him. 

I never normally got scared. I had learned to control my fear. My life had been kind of scary. Indeed hardly plausible. But in that moment everything made sense. My upbringing, my name, my birthday, everything made sense. It was literally like an atom bomb but confined to my brain. The world around him remained unchanged. I thought a million different things, could I be Jesus reborn, but really, I had no idea. I asked Charles to check the computer. My hands were shaking so much, I could not type. I thought it would be as easy as walking over to the computer next to the TV and typing my name into Google. It was the 23rd of November 2003, 6 days before my 30th birthday.

The story of my Awakening

When I was around 7, my atheist mother asked me what I thought about religion. I have a vague recollection of this. Hers was better, she passed away in 2020 which is appropriate since she was born on the 21st of December 1943, the winter solstice reflecting the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. She told me that I turned, looked at her very seriously, and said “I don’t have time to think about that now, I will think about that later.” Little did I know that 23 years later it would consume a large part of my thoughts.

On a side note, my favorite book is “Reminiscences of a stock operator” by Edwin Lefevre, it is a book that details the experiences of the best financial market trader that ever lived, Jesse Livermore (interesting family name). There is a very interesting chapter in the book that details his trading experiences relating to the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake. Note: I had no idea that Sophie, my first wife, who had a new boyfriend but was technically cheating on me with her new boyfriend, would be one of the closest people to the epicenter of the Asian tsunami. Back in 1906, the time the ticker symbol of the stock that would be most affected by this tragedy would be Union Pacific. UP would go down. He had no knowledge that the earthquake would occur. But his being knew. He was in Atlantic City strolling along the boardwalk with his buddy. He was young and that day had no particular position in the market. They decided to go into his broker's (Harding Brothers) to look at the board where the quotation prices were. He looks at it, everything is pointing up. He focuses on the price action involving Union Pacific. Very strong. For a reason his friend does not understand he has the urge to sell it, in the hope of buying it back later, after it falls, and taking the difference as profit. He does not even understand why. He keeps selling until his position becomes so big he decides to return to New York. The Earthquake hits, the market does nothing, in fact, it goes down on the news but quickly rallies back to previous levels. His friend is amused. He tells him that was a hell of a premonition but that the market is always right. Jesse rebutts that the market does not always process information in the right way when the unexpected happens (the same thing happened with the emergence of the COVID virus, the market did nothing for a long time and then plunged). He keeps his position. When the full details of the disaster unfold over the coming days the market starts to sell off. A major American city has just been flattened. It finally plunges and like the good trader he is, he takes his profit. A major coup for him. How did he know that UP would go down? Same way I know I am the one the world has been waiting for. I just know. This chapter details what happened the day of my revelation and some of the moments, where I acquired knowledge, that I believe tilted me into knowing it was me.

“The Secret Book of Birthdays” is another book that led to my awakening. Great coffee table book. It's online now. Used to be free up until recently, but now they are cashing in. It’s written by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers. I believe what they did is, they analyzed famous people throughout history and then compiled personality traits of those individuals.

I was 27 and was invited to a dinner party. Can’t remember the girl's name who hosted. I fancied her friend Lisa. Anyway, when invited to people’s homes I tend to head straight for their bookshelf. You can tell a lot about a person by what they read. There was this serious-looking big book talking about birthdays. I thought this would be good for a laugh. So I grabbed the “The Secret Book of Birthdays”. Each page is A4 size and 2 pages are used for each day of the year to describe the person. I read the first line that described me; “has the ability to provoke conflict or thought”, anyone who truly knows me knows this is true. I change the status quo. Always have. I will not go into everything it revealed about me but needless to say, it is remarkably accurate. Even down to my main health issues, a weak stomach. I thought, right, total fluke. I checked my mother’s, my father’s, my brother’s, my best friend's. Basically all the people whose birthday I knew off by heart. All true. This really was a revelation to me. How could the alignment of the planets influence people's personality? It made no sense to me at the time. However, I knew it to be true. What I would come to believe is that the connections that exist in our Universe are of a complexity I had never imagined. Atheism was no longer the appropriate belief, but I could not see a reasonable alternative. My mind had truly been opened. I live in Lasne, Belgium. The owner of my local bar is Patrick, he has a couple of restaurants also. His personality perfectly reflects the description in the book. I have since checked many people. Really incredible. They also have a book dealing with “Destiny”; The Secret Language of Destiny. This gets specific about my goal: “To fully and in detail express their experience of the numinous”. I had to look up Numinous; divine will. Need I say more? I know who I am. I am a product of this Universe and I am here to tell you. Once you die, your soul lives on. So be good.

Back to the main story. Stress, it was 22/11/2003. 7 pm. Repulse Bay. It was 7 days before my 30th birthday, and I was interviewing Charles-Henri from Lyon, France who had just finished a work placement with a good friend of mine Eric Noyel (winner of Young French Entrepreneur 1997 and number 1 toilet brush supplier to the world). Charles was 24 and soon to be my new apprentice, I had 4 people working for me at the time. It was the 22nd of November, yes the same day as JFK got shot. Many would say the most infamous day of the 20th Century. On that day my awakening happened. A strange coincidence. God does not play dice with the U.

Charles was 25 years old. Sweet guy. I was in my big-ass apartment and asking him my regular interview questions for the time. The three questions I would ask as a general rule were: How many siblings do you have? Why did America invade Iraq? The last question I would generally ask is 17x19 in your head. 

People with many siblings are generally better communicators and I needed communicators, the job demanded it. They know how to get along with other people. The ‘only’ children I knew from school tended to be somewhat strange. I would ask about the difference in age and what their siblings were doing now to see if they maintained a strong bond. Family is important, so if they take an avid interest, the better the person tends to be. If they did not answer Oil to the second question. Forget it. Failure to list this as the principal reason would generally cause me to laugh in the candidates' face or get into an argument with them. Just logically, no dictator would allow terrorist cells to operate in his country. Made no sense. All the candidates I asked answered Oil. Later it would come out, no Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs), no link to al-Qaeda, just a continuation of the ‘Bush’ fire. The last question 17x19 in your head was to measure their mental dexterity. I would tell them that the speed of the answer was not important, although it was, the logic was more important. The quickest way for most people is 20x17 minus 17. A surprising amount of people answer 321.

He must have answered appropriately. I went deeper. I asked him about his religion. Never normally asked this question in interviews and I do not know why I did it then, but I did because I was genuinely interested. He was catholic. I started shaking, not because he was catholic but because I suddenly felt this immense responsibility that I felt I had been given. This shook me to my core. Charles was there and is still among the living. He is a witness. I won’t lie. Not on important stuff. Little lies are important for humans to function in society but I abhor big lies. The default position on the important shit, it’s to tell the motherfucking truth. Why Lie? For whom? Anyway, I don't. I asked him. He said Catholic and then I knew. Not that, that is the right religion. I just felt the pull of God.I just knew it was fucking me. My whole body convulsed. My hands started trembling. I was the man. And I was like fuck no. I knew in my being. I had no choice and I hated the position. My body, dominated as it is by my brain said no, no, no fucKING NO. Not me, please not me. I had everything already. NOT fucKING ME. That split second changed everything. One moment I was an agnostic, the next I believed in the Numen; God to most of you. 

In less than a split second I knew. I knew I had this important destiny. I just did not know precisely what if anything to do about it. Even now I cannot describe the feeling accurately.  It was like a nuclear reaction inside my brain. One atom hit another atom, but instead of the atom breaking, all atoms simply shook together knocking me to my very core. From agnostic to knowing for sure there is a god in one split second and on top of that knowing I was the one with a message to deliver. The messenger. It was all too much. In that instant, I changed irrevocably forever. That moment would define me and would lead me inexorably to the writing of this book 21 years later after the accumulation of a lot of knowledge.

Destiny, you can’t fuck it, you cannot fight it. It just happens. Why me? Ricky Gervais will say I am hallucinating, I am a dick, but I come from pure atheists and I lived the atheist creed better than him. Reason, Logic, my being was in open rebellion against itself. When your heart's intelligence does not work in accordance with your brain's intelligence, problems arise. David Servin Schreiber describes this problem perfectly in his book: “The instinct to Heal, Curing Depression, anxiety and Stress without drugs and without talk therapy”. He died at 50, I hope to have the same luck. Just kidding, although some nutter will probably kill me one day (I would advise against this course of action if you care about your soul in the afterlife). I am allowed to say whatever the fuck I want BTW; First Amendment US constitution and also in the UDHR. It’s a fundamental right. I read a scientific study recently that proves that a belief in God generally makes humans happier and feel better about their lives. It makes sense, we are all programmed to believe.

How to explain that moment on the 22nd of November 2003. The touch. It was like the film “Contact” with Jodi Foster. There was no proof. Just waffle, blah, blah, blah coming from me. The best broker I knew;, that was me. The one who was always able to choose his words carefully. The one who was normally lightning fast and spot on in his responses, even after a few beers at lunch. It’s not as if I heard voices or had been contacted. I just realized something all at once. It was as if every fiber, bone, tissue, and neuron in my body suddenly knew something that had always been within me and that I was meant to do something with my life besides making loads of money and that God existed. I was meant to be a messenger. I knew it. The problem was, for me, not the fact that I now realized that God existed and that I had been sent to deliver a message. The problem was I did not want the job. It was absurd. I was a club-footed, cannabis-smoking, binge-drinking twat who had never really grown up. People saw me differently. As a golden boy, a God of finance, someone to be looked up to. I knew differently. I had been stuck in my teenage years, with a teenage mindset and teenage dreams. 

That day, on the 22nd of November, the tables turned, how do you keep your emotions under control in the face of God? And if you are his messenger are you not supposed to have a message? I knew the war was wrong and Iraq was a travesty but how could I possibly influence world events? 

No, No fucking no was all I thought. I wanted the atheist position. I lived my life, grew rich, and had a good time, it was my playground, and then suddenly, everything, it, him, her, Yahweh, all at once. No, fucking no, fucking NO. I was happy with the thought that I turned to dust and that was it. Okay, I wanted children, but to provide me with happiness, not because God said I should or I was going to complete some mission or actually I was not on this planet to live for me but for IT or Yahweh/Jehovah, or whatever created me. And, fuck, it meant that my soul would go on… it meant I lived forever, a complete revolution. You think you die and it’s all over. No. Not correct. I knew it. What we did now actually mattered. Fuck, fuck, fuck and I understood that all at once. It’s not big brother, it’s not humans watching other humans, it’s fucking real what we do actually matters and it’s not about being judged by our fellow man cause there is a greater power that judges. It was an explosion. It actually is real. God is fucking real. It pissed me off, I remembered the ghost of Mary, I remembered the bloody plastic tractor, the Secret Book of Birthdays. I remembered laughing at the idiots who believed in God. I remembered planning my rise. I remembered everything but I never saw God coming just like the financial industry never saw me coming. I knew. Everything changed. Not only for me, but for all those around me, and not in a good way. My mind jumbled everything. I did not have enough knowledge at the time. All my body seemed to fathom was the enormity of the task but no clear way of achieving the goals. Not that I even knew what those goals were. I had a basic idea, bring peace to the world, how? I had no idea. 

[proton-wobbler]

Round 1, Poll 36

Pink-throated Twinspot vs Whiskered Auklet

sources under cut

Pink-throated Twinspot Propaganda

eBird Sightings - 1,165

IUCN Status - Least Concern

Location: Africa - South Mozambique, Northeast South Africa, and East Eswatini

"Just look at those colors! Those spots! If that's not a hipster bird, then I don't know what is!"

Whiskered Auklet Propaganda

eBird Sightings - 528

IUCN Status - Least Concern

Location: North Pacific Ocean - Aleutian, Commaner, and Kuril island chains

"beautiful, mysterious, tangerine-scented little guys that get ignored a lot, but i think some people would really love if they Knew!"

Image Sources: Twinspot (Dubi Shapiro); Auklet (Tony Palliser)

[puckpocketed]

[voice of an anthropologist] after careful research and data gathering (5 mins of dicking around on the pages of a bunch of kings replyguys/beat reporters/pundits) eye believe i may have cracked the code : u can tell how frothing mad someone on kingstwt is by what naming convention they use to refer to a player.

Non-exhaustive List:

nicknames them (i.e. juice, Q/QB, kopi, arvie, real deal akil, big save dave/BSD): good bet they’re pretty happy with the player, usually followed up by a clip of said player popping off or some reportage of a stat that makes the player look good.

last name: they’re in Analysis mode and want to seem objective — they aren’t. they never will be. yeah twitter user clarke for norris, you definitely have no biases here babe!!! (they’re just like me fr CALL CLARKIE UP TO THE NHL RN IM SO SERIOUS JIM HILLER)

initials+player number: they’re a tumblr sleeper agent and this is their dogwhistle? (<- working theory)

SPECIAL subcategory!!! Pierre-Luc Dubois Derangement: they never call him dubie (that’s reserved for the actual la kings players and the apologists girlies [gn]) but they will call him PL, PLD, Dubois, 80 — and no matter what, without fail, they will find a way to point out his contract.

using NUMBER ONLY: they’re killing this player/players to death with rocks and want to seem objective but likeee… it comes off as MAJOR overcompensating 2 me <3

common/key phrases:

engaged: vibes-based barometer of how hard they think my disasterwife PLD is trying during the game, varies from person to person but generally stays within the same neighbourhood of agreeing with each other

intangibles: ok i wasn’t present for this one when it happened but jim hiller/kings management is obsessed with Andreas Englund “having intangibles” , which means Clarkie can’t come up from the AHL and everybody disliked that to the point “intangibles” is a meme.

sidebar — things i know about englund: he’s a swedish guy who looks like he churns butter in an apron while living in a cottage, but is actually the kings’ playoff goon (???) he’s STAPLED to jordan spence, who is a much better dman analytics wise and also eye test wise (funniest shit ever is how well spence does away from englund, even funnier is how often kingstwt brings it up)

the 1-3-1: the la kings’ hockey system. 1 guy out the front, 3 guys clogging up entry lanes through the neutral-zone/their own d-zone, 1 guy hanging back. no1 on kingstwt likes it and has wanted it gone for years — still, when the discourse comes around they immediately close ranks to become the biggest 1-3-1 proponent EVER. they will protect the sanctity of their hockey god-given right to play whatever the fuck system they want to!!! even if it’s incredibly annoying <3

[carlos-in-glasses]

happy nice ask week! i saw that you like poetry, what types of poetry do you like and do you have a favorite poet?

Happy nice ask week to you! I do indeed like poetry 😍 My preference is for modern poetry - 20th century to current day. I think we're in a fantastic time for poetry right now. I need to start keeping better track of new poets popping up doing amazing things.

I have many favourite poets! Off the top of my head, I love: Carrie Etter, Ruth Padel, Angel Nafis, Mary Karr, Rodney Jones, Norman Dubie, Claudia Rankine, Kim Addonizio, Terrance Hayes, Tim Liardet, Mark Doty, DA Powell, Catie Rosemurgy, Anne Carson (for The Glass Essay! Goodness me!), Ted Kooser, Eileen Myles, Sheenagh Pugh... And there are more, always more!

Squishes for you!

[kazuhearted]

there are so many aspects in common between Genshin's ideas on time, space, cosmos and consciousness and the French historical school of Annales (and disciples) and their study of the medieval worldview. part of me thinks it's no coincidence that one of the first Fontaine NPCs we meet is called Le Goff. i kinda wanna do a post series on this but tbh it would turn more into a history lesson on Le Goff, Gurevich and Duby's work than anything genshin related.