#Dua To Get Your Ex-Lover Back
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saratinz · 2 years ago
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Maneater (Chapter 1)
pairing ➩ Ex!Bucky Barnes x Promiscuous!Reader (College AU)
series warnings ➩ drinking, asshole!Bucky, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers, love triangle, smut, slut shaming, cursing
chapter warnings ➩ cursing, mentions of sex, kissing, betrayal (because reader is very bad at self control)
synopsis ➩ Y/n fucks up.
word count ➩ 800
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“Truth or dare, Sophia?” says a drunk frat boy. You’re barely paying attention to the game. Instead you are focusing on the music that plays. You listen as it goes from The Killers to Kendrick Lamar. And from Kendrick to Dua Lipa. And from Dua to…
“Y/n?” Your friend, Wanda, pulls you out of your trance. 
“Truth or dare?” you hear a dude ask. The voice belongs to Thor, who definitely falls under the dumb jock stereotype. He’s not mean, but he also isn’t nice. It’s his ego that repels you.
“Dare,” you say without hesitation.
“Hmm,” he pretends to think. You already know he’s gonna tell you to kiss him. It’s written all over his face for one, he’s giving you major ‘fuck me’ eyes. “Kiss me,” and there it is. You walk over to him, grab him by the cheek, and connect your lips to his. It starts to get awkward for everyone as he sticks his tongue in your mouth as far as it will go. Not wanting to continue this uncomfortable embrace, you pull back and return to the spot beside Wan. Drinking your vodka and cranberry juice, you dare her to take a shot. 
As the game goes on you think about things. Like all those times Jane, your roommate, mentioned she had a thing for Thor. Well by the looks of it, he does not feel the same way. He’s a player and she should know that. The only reason he kissed you was the hope of sex. He’s not a keeper, so no, you don’t feel bad about your dare.
A half hour goes by and the game finally ends, leaving you to go back to your house. When suddenly, Thor pops by your side. “Can I walk you home?” He asks.
“Uhh, sure,” you give him a slight smile. A walk home is innocent, and you like the sound of having a football player by your side as you travel across campus in the dark. 
“So, I know we haven’t really talked that much, but I think you’re really cool and pretty, and maybe sometime we can go on a date.” He takes you by surprise, maybe Jane was right. Honestly, you had never expected the word date to come out of his mouth, and it’s really making you want him. What girl doesn’t like a little bit of attention?
“You know what, I’d really like that, but my friend is sorta in love with you.”
“Who,  Jane?”
“Yeah” You feel kinda wrong for telling him, but you’re not in middle school and it seems like he already knows. Your friendship with Jane is pretty superficial, she really just uses you for your notoriety among male students. But you’re not complaining, her dad pays for your housing. Of course you offered to pay your share, but he insisted.
“She’s spoiled and petty, but you, you’re perfect.” Shit. Fuck. Thor is saying all the right things. The silence that surrounds you is comforting, and you don’t feel bad at all, everything feels safe as you walk for a few uninterrupted seconds. 
“Listen as much as I want to kiss you, and I really do, I just can’t. I have to respect my friend, and she really likes you. You’re off limits”
“Wow, you’re a really good friend, sorry I don’t mean to make you feel pressured.”
“No, don’t feel bad. Shit, I made this awkward.”
He chuckles. “No you didn’t, just, I shouldn’t have asked you out” For three minutes, the two of you walk in silence. But being a good person was never your strong-suit. 
“What you said it isn’t true, I’m not a good friend.” He raises his eyebrows in curiosity. As you approach your doorway, your lips run to his, leaving the two of you making out right in front of your rental. His tongue is much more calculated than it was at the party, and his hands start to squeeze your ass. That’s when you pull back. You can’t do this.
“I’m sorry,” you say, disappointment evident in your tone. This is just wrong, you’re a horrible friend. You run to your door and slam the it shut. What the fuck did you just do? As you melt into the wall, struggling to breathe, you see Jane with the angriest expression you’ve ever seen. “Jane, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know why I did that.” 
Suddenly, your home is filled with screams of disappointment, anger, sadness, jealousy, and just about every negative emotion known to man. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” And you don’t bother reasoning with her, she will always get her way. 
Previous chapter / Masterlist / Next chapter
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pvffinsdaisies · 5 months ago
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Northumbria Playlist
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Spotify playlist | 68 songs | 4h 10m
< all songs by Northern English artists highlighted in blue >
Sound Of The Underground, Girls Aloud
Jump, Girls Aloud
Love Machine, Girls Aloud
Biology, Girls Aloud
Something Kinda Oooh, Girls Aloud
Call The Shots, Girls Aloud
Can't Speak French, Girls Aloud
The Promise, Girls Aloud
Something New, Girls Aloud
Sweet Melody, Little Mix
Between Us, Little Mix
Shout Out To My Ex, Little Mix
Touch, Little Mix
Wings, Little Mix
Black Magic, Little Mix
Secret Love Song, Pt. II, Little Mix
Love Me Like You, Little Mix
Power (feat. Stormzy), Little Mix, Stormzy
No More Sad Songs (feat. Machine Gun Kelly), Little Mix, mgk
Up, The Saturdays
Ego, The Saturdays
What About Us, The Saturdays, Sean Paul
About You Now, Sugababes
Push The Button, Sugababes
Round Round, Sugababes
Wannabe, Spice Girls
Say You'll Be There, Spice Girls
Stop, Spice Girls
Who Do You Think You Are, Spice Girls
Ugly Heart, G.R.L
Waterfalls, TLC
Here Comes The Sun - Remastered, The Beatles
All You Need Is Love - Remastered, The Beatles
I Want To Hold Your Hand - Remastered, The Beatles
Hey Jude - Remastered, The Beatles
Best Song Ever, One Direction
What Makes You Beautiful, One Direction
Night Changes, One Direction
Story of My Life, One Direction
As It Was, Harry Styles
Adore You, Harry Styles
Don't Look Back In Anger, Oasis
Wonderwall, Oasis
Forget About Us, Perrie
Tears, Perrie
Angel Of My Dreams, JADE
Mine (Taylor's Version), Taylor Swift
Cornelia Street, Taylor Swift
Lover, Taylor Swift
Promise This, Cheryl
Fight For This Love, Cheryl
Call My Name, Cheryl
Parachute, Cheryl
ceilings, Lizzy McAlpine
The Tide Is High - Radio Mix, Atomic Kitten
Whole Again, Atomic Kitten
Obviously, McFly
All About You, McFly
Let's Get Ready to Rhumble, PJ & Duncan
Levitating, Dua Lipa
New Rules, Dua Lipa
Rule The World - Radio Edit, Take That
Patience, Take That
Shine, Take That
Love Story (Taylor's Version), Taylor Swift
Fearless (Taylor's Version), Taylor Swift
Picrew
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hwanchaesong · 2 years ago
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SONGS PROMPT 2.0 REQUESTS OPEN!
a/n: i am back for now, so i've decided to open this prompt once more. the flow and genre of each stories that i will write will be based from the songs in the prompt list, so be sure to choose carefully!
🍀Steps for the request!!🍀
📌choose a member and a prompt
📌please do specify the genre and other things that you want me to include in the fic (if you want it suggestive, au, etc). as i want to write what makes you all comfortable
📌you can send me a message, ask, or just directly comment in the post
🍀Reminders!!🍀
📌requests will be open only for a week. after the deadline, i will no longer accept any requests
📌no request limit. one person can request as much as they want to within the time limit
📌it's okay if you want to request a song that is not included in the list. i'll still do my best to write based on it (it's also a chance to get to know some good music 🫶)
🍀GROUPS THAT I'LL BE WRITING FOR (All members)🍀
📌ATEEZ
📌NCT DREAM
📌TOMORROW X TOGETHER
📌SEVENTEEN
💿Playlist!!💿
English songs:
1. Hurts So Good - Astrid S
2. Shout Out To My Ex - Little Mix
3. Midnight Rain - Taylor Swift
4. Double Take - Dhruv
5. Cheating On You - Charlie Puth
6. abcdefu - Gayle
7. Good For You - Olivia Rodrigo
8. Angel's Like You - Miley Cyrus
9. Die For You - The Weeknd
10. Lie - Sasha Sloan
11. I Quit Drinking - Kelsea Ballerini ft. Lany
12. Reckless - Madison Beer
13. Limbo - Keshi
14. Hands To Myself - Selena Gomez
15. Falling - Harry Styles
16. Sunroof - Nicky Youre & dazy
17. Atlantis - Seafret
18. Swim - Chase Atlantic
19. New Rules - Dua Lipa
20. Still Into To You - Paramore
21- I Don't Care - Ed Sheeran
22. What Lovers Do - Maroon 5 ft. Sza
23. Kiss Me More - Doja Cat
24. Maniac - Conan Gray
25. I Like Me Better - Lauv
K-pop
1. Love Me Like This - NMIXX
2. I Don't Understand, But I Love U - SEVENTEEN
3. Can't Control Myself - Taeyeon
4. Stay - BLACKPINK
5. Sorry, Heart - NCT DREAM
6. Hype Boy - NewJeans
7. Impurities - Le Sserafim
8. That Feeling When - ENHYPEN
9. Sugar Rush Ride - TXT
10. All About You - The Boyz
11. Turbulence - ATEEZ
12. Eight - IU ft. Suga
13. Some - Bolbbalgan4
14. Euphoria - Jeon Jungkook
15. Cupid - FIFTY FIFTY
16. Talk That Talk - TWICE
17. Boys Like You - ITZY
18. Illusion - aespa
19. After Like - IVE
20. Teddy Bear - STAYC
21. Christmas Tree - Kim Taehyung
22. Hello, Sunset - Red Velvet
23. I Love You - WINNER
24. Love Scenario - IKON
25. Only - Lee Hi
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theweirdkidinside03 · 2 years ago
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Trending Hits of 2022: Harry Styles’ As It Was ruled the year
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1. As It Was - Harry Styles
2. Heat Waves - Glass Animals
3. Left And Right (feat. Jung Kook of BTS) - Charlie Puth
4. We Don’t Talk About Bruno - Encanto Cast
5. Anti Hero - Taylor Swift
6. Unholy - Sam Smith & Kim Petras
7. Super Freaky Girl - Nicki Minaj
8. Betty (Get Money) - Yung Gravy
9. About Damn Time - Lizzo
10. First Class - Jack Harlow
11. I’m Good (Blue) - David Guetta & Bebe Rexha
12. abcdefu - Gayle
13. Enemy - Imagine Dragons & JJD
14. I Like You (A Happier Song) (with Doja Cat) - Post Malone
15. Made You Look - Meghan Trainor
16. Bam Bam (feat. Ed Sheeran) - Camila Cabello
17. Sweetest Pie - Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa
18. because i like a boy - Sabrina Carpenter
19. Hold My Hand - Lady Gaga
20. Sunroof - Nicky Youre
21. Light Switch - Charlie Puth
22. Yet To Come - BTS
23. Boyfriend - Dove Cameron
24. Bad Decisions - benny blanco, BTS & Snoop Dogg 
25. Late Night Talking - Harry Styles
26. Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez
27. Oh My God - Adele
28. Woman - Doja Cat
29. Let Somebody Go - Coldplay & Selena Gomez
30. The Joker & The Queen (feat. Taylor Swift) - Ed Sheeran
31. Middle Of A Breakup - Panic! At The Disco
32. One Right Now - Post Malone & The Weeknd
33. The Outside - twenty one pilots
34. I Hate U - SZA
35. Sacrifice - The Weeknd
36. WYAT (Where You At) - SB19
37. PINK VENOM - BLACKPINK
38. Don’t Wake Me Up - Jonas Blue & Why Don’t We
39. That That (feat. SUGA of BTS) - Psy
40. Glimpse Of Us - Joji
41. Celestial - Ed Sheeran
42. Hold Me Closer - Elton John & Britney Spears
43. HOT - SEVENTEEN
44. Muli - Ace Banzuelo
46. Amazing - Orange Rex Country
47. Bones - Imagine Dragons
48. So Good - Halsey
49. Fast Times - Sabrina Carpenter
50. Bejeweled - Taylor Swift
51. Potion - Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa & Young Thug
52. Blow - Jackson Wang
53. Out Of Time - The Weeknd
54. Calm Down - Rema & Selena Gomez
55. Stay With Me (feat. Justin Timberlake, Halsey & Pharrell) - Calvin Harris
56. Where We Started - Thomas Rhett & Katy Perry
57. Falling Back - Drake
58. Maybe You’re The Problem - Ava Max
59. Churchills Down (feat. Drake) - Jack Harlow
60. Million Dollar Baby - Ava Max
61. Get Into It (Yuh) - Doja Cat
62. Nail Tech - Jack Harlow
63. Make You Say - Zedd, Maren Morris & Beaux
64. tears in the club (feat. The Weeknd) - fka twigs
65. DON’T YOU WORRY - Black Eyed Peas, David Guetta & Shakira
66. Sharks - Imagine Dragons
67. When You’re Gone - Shawn Mendes
68. COMPLETE MESS - 5 Seconds of Summer
69. Honest (feat. Don Toliver) - Justin Bieber
70. Copped Up (with Roddy Ricch) - Post Malone
71. Gasoline - The Weeknd
72. Forever My Love - J Balvin & Ed Sheeran
73. Loser - Charlie Puth
74. Music For a Sushi Restaurant - Harry Styles
75. The Loneliest Time (feat. Rufus Wainwright) - Carly Rae Jepsen
76. Lift Me Up - Rihanna
77. It’ll Be Okay - Shawn Mendes
78. When I’m Gone - Alesso & Katy Perry
79. That’s Hilarious - Charlie Puth
80. SUBSTANCE - Demi Lovato
81. Don’t Let The Light Go Out - Panic! At The Disco
82. Lost Without You - Kygo & Dean Lewis
83. Every Summertime - NIKI
84. Part Of The Band - The 1975
85. I Ain’t Worried - OneRepublic
86. Are You Entertained (feat. Ed Sheeran) - Russ
87. psychofreak (feat. WILLOW) - Camila Cabello 
88. Dueles Tan Bien - Bruses
89. Easy Lover (feat. Big Sean) - Ellie Goulding
90. ex i never had - LANY
91. Me, Myself & I - 5 Seconds of Summer
92. Like This - Marshmello & 2KBABY
93. Love It When You Hate Me (feat. blackbear) - Avril Lavigne
94. Humankind - Coldplay
95. Words (feat. Zara Larsson) - Alesso
96. 2step (feat. Lil Baby) - Ed Sheeran
97. Dangerous - Madison Beer
98. I Lost Myself In Loving You - Jamie Miller
99. For Your Love - Gunnar Gehl
100. Can’t Handle It - Brevin Kim
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islamictantramantra · 10 months ago
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Dua to Get Love Back
Losing your lover because of some misunderstanding, caste problem or family troubles is the saddest thing in the world. You want them back in your life at any cost. However, sometimes, mere talking and explanation don’t help.
For More Details Visit Now:- https://duaforexloveback.com/dua-to-get-love-back/
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marriageduaa · 2 years ago
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muslimdua · 3 years ago
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Dua for lost love back
Dua for lost love back
Love is a beautiful feeling that no one actually can defined ever. If you love someone by your heart you know it feels when you are in love. But loving someone is not always been enough. In corner of your heart, you do want to get loved and expect the same love that you have shown to your partner. But your expectation might get destroyed when your partner ends up on you and leave you…
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lovewazifaback · 3 years ago
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Dua to Get Your Ex Lover Back through the Power of Quran Kareem
If your lover has left you because of another girl, but you cannot live without her, you can do Dua to Get Your Ex Lover Back through the Power of Quran Kareem.
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islamictantramantra · 11 months ago
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Powerful Dua For Someone To Come Back To You
Assalam Alaikum Friends, This post is about a very powerful dua to get your lover back into your life. Believe me, it’s very effective. Today we will talk about Islamic dua to get lost love back in your life. Many youngsters consult us about lost love.
For More Details Visit Now:- https://duaforexloveback.com/powerful-dua-for-someone-to-come-back-to-you/
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islamicremedies · 4 years ago
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Dua to get your love back in 3 days
Dua to get your love back in 3 days
Dua To Get Love Back Are you looking for the ways in which you can restore your broken relationship with your lover? Do you want to know how you can use dua to get love back for reconciliation with your partner? Yes! Today we will be sharing a dua to get lover back through which you can get your lost lover back in your life. It is difficult to get reunited after a breakup because of a lot of…
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exlovebackastrology · 4 years ago
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Quran Ayat for Getting Love Back
Quran Ayat for Getting Love Back
hy you are suffering from the daily life problems? Sort these problems and make your life more colorful and pleasurable. Why you have made these problems a big issue of your life? In all over the world, there is no any issue which has no any solution. In addition to, there is no any problem who is not suffering from any type of issue. You just have the capability to get rid of all the issues from…
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Dua To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back in Your Life
For a young lady, falling head over heels is an exceptionally unique inclination and experience. One of the most outstanding sentiments acquires warmth and harmony in life. This glow or harmony doesn’t endure forever for some young ladies. At the point when a young lady’s relationship breaks, it is plain to see that she misses her sweetheart. The main idea at the forefront of her thoughts is the…
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thewarofdestiny · 5 years ago
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Wazifa To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
Wazifa To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Best Results Of The Wazifa To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
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Wazifa To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
There can be many reasons why your boyfriend had left you. It would work really nice for you to sit back and think of all the reasons that had caused your boyfriend to have a break up with you. Sometimes there is an estrangement in the relationship without any fault of the two of you and then you…
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cockslutpadalecki · 4 years ago
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New Rules (1)
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Summary: Y/N and Dean are strictly “Friends with Benefits”, however she soon finds herself falling in love and does her hardest to keep Dean at a distance to save herself from getting her heart broken, but he can’t keep away which just makes her mission practically impossible.
Characters: Dean x Reader.
Words: 5265.
Warnings: angst, age gap relationship (ish), squirting, female masturbation, multiple orgasms.
A/N: Based on song of same name by Dua Lipa. And yes, this has been adapted from an old fic I wrote for Negan eons ago which has been rewritten and split into two parts. Betas: @winchest09 and @deanwanddamons, but all the general bullshit is entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Masterlists can be found in my pinned post. Subscribe to Patreon and get access to fics, just like this one, two weeks before Tumblr for as little as $3.
The dull buzz of your cell vibrating against your nightstand pulls you from your already disturbed slumber, head slightly fuzzy from the one too many wines you had with dinner. Rolling over, you lazily reach for it and turn it on its side, the glare from the screen completely absorbing every ounce of sleep from your eyes. A too-familiar name flashes across it, and the pit in your stomach begins to flutter. You can never tell if it’s from excitement or dread due to the fact you know exactly why he’s calling.
Dean. 
You tap the screen almost cautiously, and bring it to your ear. 
“Yeah,” you mutter sleepily.
“Hey darlin’.” His voice purrs like a kitten and you know the tone in it instantly— one too many whiskeys as usual. “What’re you doing?”
Glancing at your alarm clock, you notice it’s far too late for this charade, and let out an uptight exhale. “It’s 2am, Dean, what do you think I’m doing?”
“Thinking of me?” he chuckles, and you’re thankful he can’t see you roll your eyes through the screen— you know exactly what thinking is code for.
“De—”
“Come over,” he interrupts rhetorically. 
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“Hasn’t stopped you before.”
“That was before I knew better,” you sigh. “Look, you’ve had a few, go to bed. You need sleep, okay?”
“I need your sweet little pussy,” he cajoles, and the way the word rolls thickly off his tongue down the receiver makes your cunt clench around nothing. Normally, you’d be telling him the same in return, but you remain tight-lipped— he doesn’t need extra fuel to get him even more fired up. 
“You need sleep,” you repeat, choosing to ignore his comment.
“Y/N—”
The way he says your name makes your chest ache, while your mind screams at you to hang up, and go back to sleep, but deep down you know that’ll never happen. Not now you know he’s at home desperate for you when you’re aching just as much in return. But when it comes to Dean, your body and mind are clearly on two very different wavelengths.
“I promise I’ll make you come real hard,” he begs, voice heavy with solicitation.
Sighing deeply, you quickly search for an excuse that would placate him, but nothing would come. However, if you take Dean on his word— which was usually gospel, you could be coming within an hour if you gave in to his dulcet insistence.
“I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”
-
Your obsession with older men began when you were sixteen. Infatuated with actors and musicians twice your age, you adopted the same ideology when it became time to start dating. Purposely seeking out relationships with those of a more experienced calibre, that tenet followed you right into your mid twenties, a small string of ex-boyfriends trailing behind you with the combined age of a hundred.
Dean Winchester was no exception. In his early 40s, he was at the older end of your spectrum of lovers, but with his rugged charm and audacious attitude exuding from every pore, he came across much younger than his birth certificate stated. With the considerable age gap there were moments when it showed— like trying to introduce to bands you’d never heard of, but with the relationship you have, that’s as deep as it got. 
You say relationship, but really, you mean complicated. Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies— whatever you wanna call it, that’s what Dean thought. You, on the other hand, were unreservedly and irrevocably infatuated by him and he knew it— using your inability to say no to him to get what he wants, and after he’s satisfied, you’re sent on your way until he calls again, expecting you to cave in instantly. And you usually do, much to the dismay of your own brain, but you can’t deny the unimaginable electricity and heat between you, pulling you in like a magnet, unable to detach yourself from it.
The first time he caught your eye across the dimly lit bar, raising his whiskey tumbler in your direction as the bartender placed a fresh glass of wine in front of you, muttering almost incoherently of where it came from, you were left completely blindsided. It wasn’t the gesture that made you weak, but the cocksure smirk that followed. 
You met in the conventional way—  you were out with friends, celebrating one of their birthdays, and while Dean had been accompanied by his buddy Benny and brother Sam to “shoot the shit,” as Dean so eloquently put, it was you he spent the majority of the night hovering around. When the time came, you ended up sharing an extremely heated cab ride home before fucking on his couch until the sun came up. 
Neither of you really expected for your rendezvous to lead anywhere, and it didn’t. You stayed friends, occasionally meeting up for a casual hook up, but it wasn’t until a couple of months later when you happened upon each other by accident at the same bar, and Dean spent the night fawning over somebody else that you realised you felt more for him than he did you. Jealousy bubbled up inside you watching him flirt unabashedly with the blonde, and when a offhand comment was made about you being his daughter, you left in a hurry. 
He had called you later that night, after his attempts to bed her had failed, and came crawling to you for release. You knew then in that moment when Dean pushed you up against the wall— not even bothering to take your panties off as he bottomed out inside you, that you were nothing more to him than just a piece of ass when he couldn’t score anything better. Used was the only word to describe how you felt as he fucked you that night— the first time you had ever failed to come for him.
That had been a year ago, and you were yet to learn your lesson. 
Dean still calls in the middle of the night, and you still always answer.
1. Don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling cause he’s drunk and alone.
-
“Seriously, you need to tell this asshole to just keep it in his pants, and stay outta yours.” Your best friend Jo grumbles at you, amid mouthfuls of your homemade bologna. Since you met Dean, she ends up at your apartment most nights, if not for a detailed breakdown of her day and the never ending tales of her boss’ messy divorce, but to eat you out of house and home. In all honesty, you’re just happy for the company. 
“It’s more complex than that,” you grumble. With the back of your fork, you mindlessly move the food around on your plate, despite the gnawing hunger eating away at your stomach. 
Two weeks have passed since you crawled to Dean’s, and you’re still punishing yourself for being so weak. It didn’t matter how satisfied you felt in the moment— Dean deep seated inside you as he fucked away your melancholy. What mattered was the cruel ache that sat in your chest when you left. The one that feels like you’ve been doused in acid, crumbling into pieces the further the distance between you and Dean becomes. 
“You gotta tell him how you feel,” Jo states matter of factly.
You scoff. “I can’t, he’ll laugh in my face. I’m just an immature little kid.”
“Well I’m here to remind you that you’re not,” she clarifies, “and that you’re really gonna have to start using night cream to, y’know-” using her fork, she points it at your face, and swirls it around in circles, “-work on those wrinkles.”
You raise an eyebrow at her, trying to stifle a smile. “Bitch.”
She laughs, lifting another forkful of spaghetti to her lips before steering the conversation back to Dean. “You can’t spend your life pining for this guy. He clearly only cares about getting his dick wet.” 
Listless, you watch her eat, wishing you had the same voracious appetite as she does, your stomach rumbling as if to taunt you further. You let out a little sigh, hating that she’s right. She always is. 
“Maybe I’ll just start dodging his calls until he gets the message,” you mutter jokingly, unsure who you’re trying to convince more— you or the blonde sitting opposite you.
“Ah! You cracked it,” Jo rejoices as you look at her quizzically, and she winks, adding, “you’re finally thinking like a man.” 
You both burst into a fit of giggles as the hunger pangs in your stomach overwhelm you just enough that you give in, and bring your fork to your lips, not before flashing Jo a smile to match hers.
-
An hour later, you wave the small blonde off, watching her drive down the street, as you hug your arms around you in an attempt to keep out the cold before stepping back into the warmth of your apartment.
Letting the door snap closed as you slump against it, a feeling of loneliness washes over you, suddenly wishing you’d asked her to stay the night. 
Get your shit together, your brain berates harshly. Stop acting like a lovesick teenager.
Pushing yourself from the wood with the intention of soaking in the bath with a fresh glass of wine, the sound of three small knocks against the door prevents you from moving more than two steps.
You turn back around quickly, grabbing the door handle and pull it towards you, half expecting to see Jo, but the face you’ve been trying to shift from your thoughts for days stares back at you.
"Dean, what are you doing here?” The shock is evident in your voice. He never shows up at your apartment. 
In fact, you don’t think he’s ever made it to your door— the sidewalk was always as far as he got on the rare occasion he’d actually care to drop you home. You figure it’s a power strategy— if he calls and you go running, he’s in control. But having him standing on your doorstep, it must be so far out of his comfort zone that you can’t imagine he likes it much.
“Can’t I come and see my favourite person?” Dean compliments, flashing you his trademark smirk. He leans forward to kiss you gently on the cheek before stepping inside without invitation, and as he passes you, the heady scent of his fading aftershave highlighted with soft hints of whiskey absorbs into your pores like a damp mist. 
In a daze, you shut the door behind him, and stand aghast at the audacity of the man before you— not only for showing up unexpectedly, but for assuming you were going to allow him inside in the first place. He starts casually looking around, no doubt judging your taste in possessions as you watch him eye with intrigue the Salvador Dali piece hanging above your fireplace. 
“You sure you’re at the right apartment?” you ask, a little guarded. 
The truth is, him being in your home has instantly put you on edge. What’s the motive here? There has to be one. Dean Winchester doesn’t just turn up out of the blue. He simply laughs as he shrugs off his jacket, and hangs it haphazardly on the back of a chair.
“What are you really doing here?” you question, tentatively following his footsteps.
Dean turns, slinking back towards you like a panther with eyes on its prey, tongue tucked subtly between his teeth. As he reaches you, he slowly stoops his head, and brings his lips to yours. “Well, you sure as hell can’t fuck your own brains out.”
Your knees almost give way hearing the words tumbling from his lips, and the combination of his breath on your neck. You strain to speak, but Dean’s mouth is already on yours and his hands are at the buttons of your oversized shirt, hurrying to undo them. 
Y/N, kick him out! your brain screams. Don’t do this. Don’t let him win. Stop him—
Your thoughts are too easily drowned out by the blood thundering in your ears as you hungrily kiss back, snaking your hands around his neck to pull him even closer against you. Dean groans as your tongue slides past his lips, and he suddenly leans down, grabbing hold of the backs of your thighs to lift you up around his waist. 
Everything around you melts into one big blur as Dean carries you into the lounge, practically running to get you to the nearest surface he can lay you down on. The couch is the closest, and he slumps against the cushions as you straddle his lap, accentuating the roll of your hips to make sure your damp cunt catches his swelling length through his pants just right. 
You know you should stop him— the ethical voice inside your head tells you so, but by the time he’s pulled your panties to the side, cock nestled deep inside your pussy, you’re too bewitched by his touch to conceivably think about stopping him from doing anything except fuck you.
2. Don’t let him in, you have to kick him out again.
-
Almost three months pass without a word from Dean, and you’re struggling to the point where you actually crave a phone call at 2am. You even itch for him to show up at your door, and nail you into the couch as you come screaming his name.
Each night you go to bed hopeful that maybe tonight he’ll make contact, but you find yourself lying awake, staring impassively at a blank screen until you fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, tears drying on your cheeks. 
You do what you can to take your mind off of him, even going as far as hooking up with someone else on a rare night out with Jo, but it failed to do anything. Didn’t even come close. His lips weren’t soft like Dean’s, his touch lacklustre in comparison, and the meagre orgasm— which you had to see through, with thoughts of Dean between your thighs, left you feeling more frustrated than satisfied. And as you walked home, leaving your one night stand passed out in bed— still in the same position he rolled off of you into, you resigned yourself to the fact that while Dean is in your life, or lack thereof, you’re destined to be alone. 
You’ve never been so happy to lay your eyes on your parked car after leaving a particularly hectic day at work, beyond ready to drive home, and polish off the bottle of white sitting in the door of your refrigerator. 
With your hand firmly wrapped around the door handle, you bring it towards you as a palm slams against the window, startling you. You glance up, about to give the arsehole a piece of your mind, but the sight of Dean standing beside you knocks you for six, and despite being dressed in a suave black suit, he looks horrendous. His usual stubble has grown to give his beard more definition, but it’s unkempt and in disarray while his eyes are red and bloodshot, not to mention the fact he stinks of alcohol. 
"Dean, what the— are you alright?” you ask shakily, your heart still thumping hard against your rib cage. Stumbling towards you with a lazy smile, the whiskey cloud above his head completely engulfs you. 
“Just,” he hiccups, “great.” 
“Well you don’t look it.”
"You mean, you don’t want this?” He slides his hand down his torso, grabbing his crotch with a smirk. 
“Oh, I’m certain,” comes your clipped reply.
Carefully you open the door, using it to create a barrier between you— the more distance the better, but seeing him look so dishevelled and somehow a little… lost, you take pity on him, and find the next words slipping past your lips before your brain has a chance to register them. “C’mon, let me take you home, you’re in no state to be wandering around on your own." 
What was that about the more distance the better? 
"I’m fine,” he spits defensively.
“Dean, get in the fuckin’ car." 
"No,” he huffs, face stiffening as he stumbles backwards to walk off, but you’re faster than he is in this state, and manage to grab him before he falls flat on his face. 
The whiskey smell is overwhelming, but through the alcohol, you can just make out his own scent — that sweet mix of leather and cologne, and it warms you in a way you wish it hadn’t. 
You struggle against him for a second before he gives up, allowing you to help him to the passenger side without a fight. You pull open the door, and he slumps down into the seat with a sickly groan. 
He better not throw up in the footwell.
You shake your head in silent rebuke, cursing yourself for being so concerned about the cost of getting vomit out of your carpet, as you slam the door behind him and round the car to get in yourself. You glance over at him as you switch on the gas, watching his chest rise and fall with shallow breaths. With his eyes tightly closed, mouth slightly agape, he’s practically unconscious as you slowly manoeuvre your way out of the parking lot.
-
Dean falls onto the couch with a loud thud, your arm aching from carrying him in from the car. As you leave him lightly snoring, you give your bicep a soft rub as you head to the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. 
The ride back to his apartment was peaceful, but you were so aware of him next to you, it was difficult to concentrate on the road, your thoughts continuously reminding you of what a bad decision it was.
You’re dangling yourself like a piece of meat in front of a starving lion that’s ready to pounce and devour you at any moment. 
Walking back into the lounge, you nudge him gently with the back of your hand. 
“Hey, wake up,” you say soothingly despite the slight grit of your teeth. “You need to drink something.” 
Nothing. 
Letting out a defeated sigh, you decide to change tactics. 
“Oh Dean, my pussy’s so wet for you,” you purr, bending to kneel at his feet. “Aching for your big hard cock.” 
Well, it’s not exactly a lie...
His eyes stay closed, but the sides of his lips pull up into a smirk. 
"I knew it, I can practically taste you from here,” he grumbles, shifting his weight onto his left elbow, his eyes slowly fluttering open. His jade stare keeps you at his feet and you hand him the glass, careful not to let his fingers brush yours. 
"Drink." 
He takes it, downing half in one go, his eyes on you the whole time. You suddenly feel uneasy— like you need to go and take a long, cold shower. 
"So, are you gonna tell me why you’re drunk at five in the afternoon?” you challenge. Dean fidgets against the couch, clasping the glass tight between his fingertips. 
"Nope,” he mutters defiantly before taking another swig, pulling a face as he swallows the final gulp.
“No?”
His lips draw into a tight line. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 
“Gotcha,” you reply curtly, and push yourself to your feet.
“Stop,” he snaps, reaching out to grab your hand. “Stay.”
You look down at him, trying to gauge and somehow predict his next mood, but his face remains impassive. “Not until you talk to me.” 
He sighs, “we are talking." 
“Forget it, De.” You attempt to snatch your hand from his grasp, but he’s holding onto you too tightly. 
“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, placing the now empty glass onto the coffee table before motioning for you to sit down, which you do hesitantly.
It doesn’t escape you that last time you sat on this very couch, you had your legs spread while Dean had his face buried deep in your cunt. You do your best to make yourself comfortable despite the very uncomfortable heat blooming beneath your clothes as he turns to face you. You can see from the anxiousness in his features that he’s toying with his words— opening and closing his mouth repeatedly, but nothing comes out. 
“I was at a funeral,” he eventually manages to croak, glancing down at his hands to avoid making eye contact with you. 
“Oh,” you say. “I’m sorry. Was it somebody close to y—”
He interrupts, the words coming out like vomit. “I had to bury my best friend in front of his entire family and kids.” 
Benny? 
“He had his whole life together, and poof-” he snaps his fingers, “-snuffed out just like that.” He takes a moment to glance up at the ceiling in an attempt to compose himself, but you can see the way his eyes glass over as the next words from his lips tumble out. 
“I have no-one.”
“I’m so sorry about Benny.” You gingerly reach for one of his hands, and entwine your fingers within his, watching as Dean’s eyes cast down at the simple act of reassurance in his lap. "But you have Sam,” you remind him, and after letting out a deep breath, you finally add, “and me.” 
His eyes flicker towards you— relief with a dash of confusion muddying his features.
Taking a second to look away, you immediately regret your words, wishing they hadn’t come out so… desperate. You glance back, prepared to give him a comforting speech before making your excuses to leave, but everything happens too quickly. 
Dean lunges forward, mouth hot and feverish against yours while his tongue seeks out relief past your lips, as his hands roam your hips edging towards the zipper on the back of your skirt. You find yourself reacting in a similar way— your hands hurriedly peeling off his jacket before urgently reaching for his suit trousers.
You can’t help yourself. Three months you’ve been craving just a slither of his touch, and now you’ve got a taste you’re like a ravenous animal who hasn’t eaten in weeks. 
Breaking the kiss, Dean slides off the couch, this time kneeling at your feet and strips you of your skirt, as you slump back against the cushions, watching him in awe as he expertly tugs the black material down your legs.
In your haste, you grab one of his hands, and guide it against your soaked core, allowing him the opportunity to tease you through the damp seat of your panties. Dean flicks a lazy finger up over your clothed clit, and you buck into his touch, urging him to continue with a frustrated whine. 
He smirks at the sound before pressing his lips to your thighs, placing a soft trail of stubbled kisses against your fevered skin, as the hand focusing on your heat moves to join the other working your panties down your quaking legs. 
Once exposed, you watch Dean pause, eyes trained firmly on your bare cunt before he kneels up, landing sporadic kisses to the small peeks of flesh available to him as he travels further up your torso— a delicate placement on your navel, a hungrier taste to your breast as he tugs your shirt and bra out of his way, tongue flicking masterfully over your pebbled nipple.
Your fingers snake around his neck when he finally reaches your lips, capturing them with prurient impatience. He grinds against you, the heat and thickness of his cock prominent through the fabric of his trousers. You buck against him once more when a perfectly placed roll of Dean’s hips catches your bead just right, and you clutch fervently at his tie, giving it a sharp yank in the hopes your rising coveting is obvious.  
He lets go of a small moan against you before pulling back, his lips still skimming yours as a small unscrupulous smirk spreads across his face.
“You like that?” His voice is crisp, ragged and with all the roughness of gravel, it sends ripples straight down to your core as Dean does it again. There’s always been a deftness to the way his hips move that never failed to take your breath away, and it’s no different now. A strangled inhale catches in your throat as he repeats it for the third time, and on this occasion his thumb accompanies it, rubbing over your throbbing pearl. 
Somehow you’ve forgotten how to speak. 
“And this?” he husks, tongue tugging at his bottom lip while his fingers nestle between your folds, tips breaching your heat until he’s knuckle deep. 
“Fu— ck,” you choke, feeling your eyes prickle hot with tears when Dean crooks his fingers inside you. 
“Right there, isn’t it?” 
You try to shake your head, but it’s no good. You swear he’s intent on breaking you apart one piece at time as his digits retreat before he’s duplicating the movement once more. Each nerve, cell and everything in between seizes inside you at the pressure and Dean’s chuckling against your lips. 
“Knew it.” 
He withdraws his fingers, a tumble of complaints falling from your mouth on a loop before you catch him suckling on them as if they’re covered in honey. It’s entrancing really, watching his tongue dart in and out of his lips while he licks your sweet elixir from his flesh, his jade eyes never leaving yours. 
Leaning forward, Dean’s mouth captures yours once more, the slightest hint of sweet brine clinging to his tongue reminding you of where his fingers have already been, and where you desperately ache for his cock to go. You claw between your legs, reaching for the open V of his trousers, hands eager in their search of the swollen length that feels like it’s been burning into your thigh like a brand this entire time.
Beneath his crinkled dress shirt, you fingers finally curl around his shaft, causing a low growl to rumble from the depths of his chest, and as you pull his throbbing shaft free from the confines of his boxers, his teeth tug gently on your bottom lip letting it pop back into place before he catches your lips in a zealous and messy kiss. 
Wet heat pulses against your own, a frantic pressure manipulating its way through your folds as the head of his cock breaches your entrance, and he slides inside you like he was made to fit. 
You cry into his mouth as Dean moans back, unable to stop himself from responding to the way your cunt spasms around him as he powers his way home, one delectable inch at a time. 
Despite the fervid haste to get you both to this very position, he takes his time in pulling out, making sure you feel every bump and ridge as he does so. You whine when you think he’s going to leave you bereft for good— knowing it would just be your luck to have him inside you for all of five minutes before he came to his senses and saw you out the door, more concupiscent than ever.
But just as unhurried as before, he drives himself back inside you and waits a few seconds— a lifetime to you— before ever so delicately, he begins to move his hips in that same agile way that almost has you coming before he’s even fucked you six ways from Sunday. Carding your hands through his hair, his head droops onto your shoulder, spreading soft kisses and starved nibbles along your clavicle. 
You whimper in delight when Dean suddenly leans up on his haunches, and with his hands curled around the meat of your hips, he practically tugs you off the side of the couch, all the while still impaled on his cock. Your feet lay flat against the plush carpet, knees clamped either side of his hips as he rises up between your spread legs, the shift in position leaving you vulnerable and completely at his mercy. 
The disparity in depth, the change in angle, even the way Dean adjusts the movement of his hips— it all merges into one flawless surfeit of sensations, ones you can barely piece together into a singular coherent feeling.
You know you’re not going to last— three long months without this level of stimulation, you’re going to come quick. And unforgivably hard. 
“Oh shit, De... I’m… fuck, I- I’m gonna... cum,” you keen, back arching off the couch. Dean mutters something in response, but you don’t quite catch it, only feeling the way his grips tightens around your waist and the rhythm of his onslaught increases. 
Three more bestial and vehement thrusts come in hurried succession, each more powerful and damaging than the last. You count each one pillaging your body, your limbs weak as you strain against him, struggling to hold on, but the last of the three is quick to claim you.
You fall silent as rhapsody rips through you, surrendering entirely to it as if you actually had a choice. Dean doesn’t let up, using the moment you’re at your most defenceless to fuck into you even harder, which in turn only causes your delirium to multiply and you find yourself coming again without warning.
You don’t know when you blacked out, but the next moment you’re aware of he is squeezing at your tits. His thumb and forefinger pinch your hardened nipple as he uses the grip to pull you off his cock before slamming home, while the thumb of his other hand is placed perfectly between your thighs, working your clit in a lazy figure of eight.
It’s too much. The overstimulation almost buries you into the couch cushions as a guttural scream bursts from your throat. All the bliss still left inside you squirts all over Dean’s cock, dripping down his thighs and onto the floor beneath you. 
As your body begins to cease its convulsions, his rhythm starts to slow and as if to marvel the mess between your legs, he glances down, a cocky smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. 
“What’re… you so… smug about?” you ask, voice thick and lust-dumb through his deliberate thrusts.
“Knew I’d… make you… cum that… hard one day.”
You return his proud smile as he slumps over you, placing another slew of sloppy pecks to your damp lips. You pull back, begging in his ear to come inside you and as you close your teeth around his earlobe, Dean does just that. 
He empties into your womb, hot and wet, trembling in your grasp. As he leans up on shaky arms, he regards you in a way he never has before— there’s a softness in his features, a longing behind his eyes and when he finally dips his head, he kisses you with an alien tenderness that leaves your lips bruised.
-
You wake the next morning in a daze, bed covers tangled around your feet, jolting upright in an attempt to try to figure out where you are. The dresser is familiar, but it’s not yours and neither is the closet on the other side of the room. 
Fuck. 
You know exactly where you are. 
Craning your head slowly to the right, your fears are confirmed. Dean’s sleeping soundly next to you, laid on his back with one arm above his head, his bare chest rising and falling softly in sync with his shallow breaths. 
3. Don’t be his friend, you know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
***
Supernatural: @angelofthetrenchcoats @ambthegamer @akshi8278 @becs-bunker​ @caspleasesavemyass @clemanime @deanwanddamons @deans-mind-palace @deanwinchesterswitch @deanloveboi @dawnie1988 @doctor-hp-mcu @ellewritesfix05 @fandom-princess-forevermore @flamencodiva @fanngirl19 @gayasslookinass @gabbywindsor @heavensangel45135 @hoboal87 @hobby27 @inlovewithspencerfuckingreid @katymacsupernatural @joseyrw @michellemxndes @mrswhozeewhatsis @peachyafshawn @patrick-hockslutter @pinkshenanigan @quxxnxfhxll @spnbaby-67 @stoneyggirl @sammykb1994 @sharp-cheekbones-locked @shylittlewolf @sidbecross @tumbler-tidbits @tvdspngirl314 @uncreativezx @vicmc624 @waywardbaby @winchest09 
Forever: @anaelsbrunette @akumune @amandamdiehl @buttercandy16 @crashdevlin @castiel-has-bees @daughterofthenight117 @donnaintx @dandywinchesterbras @dumbbitchenergy17 @death-unbecomes-you @doozywoozy @foxyjwls007 @hurricanerin @hoewkeye @heyyouwiththeassbutt @ilovefanfic86 @itsjustfics @itsthedoctah10 @imyournewfairygodmother @imcastiel-youassbutt @jewelswrites-ish @jenmisheels-bi-kid @letsby @letsdisneythings @multi-fandom-fanfiction @maddiepants @mogaruke @my-fav-imagines-17 @nightsbite @notyourtypicalrose @onethirstyunicorn @pink1031 @princessmisery666 @petitgateau911 @randomparanoid @ssworldofsw @sambucky8 @sea040561 @sillygoose6969 @sweeterthanthis @softie-socks @that-one-gay-girl @warriorqueen1991 @xoxabs88xox @zpandaqueen
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muslimdua · 3 years ago
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Dua Wazifa to Win Back Someone Love
Dua Wazifa to Win Back Someone Love
Their word Love is not just a mere word by the term but the way through which we disclose our feelings towards others. Love is one of the purest feelings ever that’s directly inherited through the blessing of almighty God and rejuvenate our heart full of happiness and makes it to beat for someone else. When you fall in love with someone, your whole world starts revolving center around the…
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haikyuuuuuhypeeeee · 3 years ago
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Scared to be Lonely
Miya Atsumu x Reader (wc 4.1k) Inspired By: Scared to be Lonely (Conro Remix) - Martin Garrix, Dua Lipa, Conro ⚠️WARNING: Vulgar language, brief mention of inappropriate drug use (taking cough medicine to go to sleep), brief mention of suicidal actions (the act is mentioned in an argument but is NOT acted upon) A/N: This story has been banging around in my head for MONTHS now and I finally got it down!!!! I absolutely love the song and this particular remix, feel free to put it on repeat and drown in your feelings! It jumps between the past and the present but there are notes of when the jumps happen! Enjoy! :)
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Now
A soft knock at the door wakes you from your restless sleep. Next to you, your yellow labrador huffs, sitting up and staring at the front door with her ears perked. She doesn’t bark, doesn’t move until you sit up. She descends from the bed and bounds forward - the nails on her feet tap tap tap against the wooden floorboards in your apartment. She sniffs at the crack under the door and even in the dark you can see her tail wagging back and forth.
It's like clockwork.
You don’t even bother checking the peephole (a habit you really ought to get back into) before undoing the locks and turning the door handle. You have to shuffle your puppy out of the way lest she gets bonked by the door but she eagerly moves, her whole body shaking as the door opens and she takes in the visitor.
You on the other hand are not as excited.
Because on the other side of the door is Miya Atsumu. Your ex-boyfriend.
You stare at each other - your face blank and his expectant. Wordlessly you move aside, the invitation clear. He steps over the threshold and joins you in the dark of your apartment.
It's like clockwork.
~~~~
Then
You and Atsumu were close in high school. You never took the leap and dated, despite your clear affections for each other. You didn’t really want to deal with the messy and wholly unnecessary drama that would ooze in toxic clouds from his fan club, and Atsumu was putting as much time and energy into volleyball as he could. But you still went to his games, still cheered him on, and still longed for the day where you could call him yours.
It was Atsumu who made the first move. He presented you with his uniform button at graduation, and for the first time in your life you felt you would burst from all of the happy emotions in your chest. You accepted his confession and you both began dating. All throughout your years at uni, all throughout his years playing for MSBY, you remained devoted to each other. You carved out as much time in your busy schedule as you could, and you knew that he did the same.
Needless to say, you were both so in love.
It was the kind love that was too much and not enough at the same time. It was the kind of love that filled your waking thoughts of Atsumu, Atsumu, Atsumu. It was the kind of love that made you feel comfortable and safe. So it was a no-brainer that after your uni graduation you moved in with each other. Atsumu had always joked about playing house with you someday, but this felt less like playing and more real.
Life was complete bliss. Waking up next to your lover and your best friend, bustling around in the morning because you had extra snuggles in bed, coming home to cook dinner together before going to bed in each other's arms. You really didn’t know what could make it better.
~~~
Now
After Atsumu walks into the apartment, you close the door. Relocking the locks bought you some time to get your emotions under control. He wasn’t a surprise visitor, but everytime you see him you’re filled with a bitterness that leaves you unsettled.
You hear Atsumu petting your dog, the dog that was once yours and Atsumu’s. She’s excited to see him, basking in the head pats and belly rubs.
You try not to think of her as a traitor. She’s just a dog.
You leave them to their reunion and make your way to the bedroom. You don’t have to look behind to know that he’ll follow you. This routine you’ve both developed is like clockwork.
And sure enough, as you’re settled back under the fluffy down comforter on your side, you hear footsteps walk through the apartment towards your room. You don’t turn to acknowledge Atsumu, and he doesn’t ask you to either. You feel the bed dip as he takes his place behind you. There’s some shifting of the covers and soon an arm is wrapped around your waist.
“Thanks.” The simple gratitude is whispered in your ear. This routine is so established that you’ve been able to train your body to not break out in gooseflesh at the whisper. Instead you remain quiet but let yourself shift back and further into Atsumu.
~~~
Then
Couples bicker and argue and nag each other all of the time. Especially two people who are passionate and stubborn. It wouldn’t take much for you to snip at Atsumu, usually about a dirty sock or plate in the sink. And he had no problem pointing out the drawers left open in the bathroom and the empty carton of milk you had left in the fridge. You would both apologize, promise to do better and move on.
Until one day, you couldn’t.
Looking back you weren’t sure if it was you or Atsumu who couldn’t let a little argument go. And what was worse was that you couldn’t even remember what the stupid argument was. What you do remember is Atsumu raising his voice and calling you a lazy bum. And you vividly remember how much that had hurt, and how you wanted him to feel just as bad. Who was he to have such control over your emotions and wield them so dangerously? So you opened your mouth to reply just as scathingly.
That was the first time you had slept on the couch and Atsumu slept in the bedroom.
The next morning you both moved in stuffy, sleepy silence. Sleepy because you hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep and stuffy because you refused to apologize. You both left for your respective jobs and you had spent the day wondering what hell would await you once you got back.
But instead, Atsumu had set up take-out on the coffee table, queued up your favorite television show, and waited for you to return. He gestured to the setup once you came into the apartment and that night you both sat side-by-side, laughing at the show and enjoying the food.
It wasn’t until you were both in bed, snuggled together, that you realized neither of you apologized for the argument. He didn’t apologize for his hurtful words, and you didn’t apologize for yours.
~~~
Now
You startle awake as the bed shakes but you relax once you realize it was your puppy jumping up in bed and getting comfortable. You watch her settle between your legs and Atsumu’s - she spins in place twice before plopping down in a tight coil. But she immediately closes her eyes, so you can’t imagine it’s that uncomfortable.
You look away and your eyes land on your ex-boyfriend, sleeping soundly. You can’t help but frown as you see the dark circles under his eyes and the way his body is completely lax as he slumbers.
I wonder if he’s not sleeping well. You wouldn’t put it past him - in fact, you would sympathize with him. It’s only been a month and a half since your split and the sleepless nights are adding up. You tried everything - new pillows, new sheets, soothing scents spritzed on your pillowcases to lull you to sleep, reading, sleepytime tea. There’s nothing in the world that has helped you get to sleep, and then stay asleep.
The one stupid (very VERY stupid) time you thought it’d be smart to take night time cough medicine to knock you out proved to be a very bad idea as your dreams were plagued with snippets of your memories with Atsumu, warped in a way that the drug makes dreams seem. It was a lesson learned and you didn’t try that again.
As you watch Atsumu sleep you wonder what he’s done to try to sleep, if anything. Maybe more late practices at the gym, or watching game tape until his eyelids won’t stay open. You hope it’s something, something other than the remedy you need to sleep.
~~~
Then
It was wishful thinking to hope that the argument was a one-off.
Because if anything, you had more of those arguments. The ones that left you shaking with anger as you both lashed out at each other. It left Atsumu storming out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him while you threw pillows across the room.
In your mind, the fights were always Atsumu’s fault. He was never home, he didn’t get any dinner ready for you both, he didn’t hang the laundry so now your clothes smelled weird - the list went on and on. In your mind, rarely were you to blame for the start of the fights.
The escalation of those fights, on the other hand…….you weren’t blameless.
But damn were you frustrated. You’ve been putting so much time and energy into this relationship that you both supposedly wanted to be in, but it wasn’t easy anymore. Real life made sure of that. But the one part of it that was always supposed to be easy was being the most difficult portion of all.
And to you, it seemed like that portion didn’t care.
So yeah, maybe you were a bit harsh when you fought. Maybe you used specific barbs tailored to sting. Maybe a part of you relished in seeing the hurt in Atsumu’s eyes, because then it for sure mirrored the hurt and anger in your eyes.
But Atsumu didn’t back down nor did he cower. If anything he took the hurt he felt and shoved it back in your face with an extra side of “fuck you.” So thus a bizarre game of volleyball began - it was a special version you both concocted. You played this detrimental game for nearly six months, spiking mean jabs at each other and receiving those hurtful words on arms bruised beyond belief. The game ran you both ragged but you’d be damned if you gave up first. And Atsumu was way too competitive to throw in the towel.
You endured. You persevered. You played that fucking game because you still loved Atsumu, and you hoped to god that he loved you too.
However with each “game” you played the court beneath you both crumbled away. It withered into kindling, piling at the foundation of your relationship. Each argument was fuel added to the pile. And it grew, and grew, and grew. Until whatever remained of the “court” was balancing on a precipice of kindling and fuel, and instead of a “volleyball” you hurled at each other you passed a lit match back and forth. One wrong move and kaboom.
You both knew how precarious your relationship had become. Both of you knew that one more argument, or one more nasty snip said at the wrong time could be the end of you and Atsumu.
But it didn’t stop the match from falling. It fell, and you didn’t know who was responsible for it’s fall. Your arguments started with you each pointing the finger at each other, but when the time came, you both had played your parts in the explosion.
And what an explosion it was. It was an explosion of seismic levels, of legendary proportions. It was so bad that you didn’t know how you and Atsumu escaped from the rubble unscathed.
Well mostly unscathed - your hearts and psyches took a beating that had left you hollow. Even a month later you’re still reeling from the aftermath. Not only had you lost your boyfriend that day, you had lost your best friend.
~~~
Now
You open your eyes again, your throat dry and eyes crusted. Your room is still dark but you feel way more groggy than before so a few hours must have passed. You reach for your phone on the bedside table and blearily read the screen - 4:42.
You set the phone back down and settle back into bed. You turn on your side to face a sleeping Atsumu. Just over his shoulder you can spot your dog pressed flush against Atsumu’s back, also fast asleep.
You can’t help but smile sadly. The sight brings you back to lazy mornings in bed, cooking in the kitchen together, running around the apartment playing tag. The memories rush back to you, not unlike a film montage of the happy and sappy couple in a romantic comedy who finally get together and jet off into the sunset together while a soulful soundtrack blasts through the speakers.
If only it were that easy.
Now your mornings are filled with silence, coffee is made for one, you take longer routes to work to avoid billboards showcase MSBY’s Monster Generation, and a numbing pang of loneliness follows you wherever you go.
You don’t feel that loneliness now, with Atsumu in your bed. But you feel another, uncomfortable emotion twisting your gut.
Regret.
You know this is wrong. Atsumu knows this is wrong. You two broke up because being together was slowly tearing you apart. It was better to be alone.
Even if being alone scares the hell out of you.
If your best friend, someone who you’ve known for eight years, can’t stand to be with you, then who could?
But between being alone and enduring screaming matches every other night, you’d take being alone. It was better for you, and better for Atsumu.
But you’re not alone now. As you settle closer to Atsumu, you cherish the moment. The next time you wake he’ll be gone, fully completing the ritual. So you take the extra time to savor having Atsumu here with you. You’re hoping it’ll be enough to ward off the aching loneliness that’s sure to come back.
It never is.
~~~
You wake up and know that something is wrong.
You don’t think you’re in danger (your dog would be barking up a storm if that’s the case.) But something is...off.
As you shift to sit up, the heavy arm around your middle shifts with you.
Your eyes widen and you quickly turn around. You see the arm that was around you belongs to Atsumu, who is still sleeping in your bed.
You blink but he’s still there.
What the fuck?
Atsumu never stays. He made that clear on the very first night of this sleepover arrangement.
“Just for tonight,” he had said. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. “I promise I’ll be gone before ya wake up.”
While he wasn’t able to deliver on both promises, he did manage to keep the latter. WIthout fail Atsumu would be gone, no trace of him to be found come morning.
(You had thought, at least. Until you walked out from your bedroom to a fresh pot of coffee and your dog’s water and food dish full.)
But he never stayed for you. He said he wouldn’t so he didn’t. Sometimes you thought that you had dreamt his arrival on your doorstep and the entire night spooning together in bed. But there’s no way a dream could soothe the ache on your heart like Atsumu’s physical presence could.
But instead of being soothed now you were filled with wary confusion.
You tense as Atsumu stirs and begins to wake up. You watch his eyes brlink open, looking around the room before finding you. His whole body seems to freeze, his eyes widening. Clearly he is just as surprised to find himself here as you are to see him.
“Mornin’,” he rasps out.
You clear your throat. “Good morning.”
“‘M sorry,” he says after a beat. “I know ‘m not supposed to be here.” He sits up and the comforter pools at his waist. You watch him raise his arms above his head to stretch.
“It’s fine,” you reply cautiously. He moves to the other side of the bed to stand. Your eyes are on him like a hawk. “But I don’t think you should come back.”
Your eyes widen at the words that flew from your mouth. Wait, why did I say that?
Atsumu is frozen, his back still turned to you. The air in the room shifted from sheepish sleepiness to attentive tension. You’re still reeling from what you said but you begin to prepare yourself for whatever excuse Atsumu will try to sway you with. Or whatever insult he chooses to fling.
He shrugs his shoulders and stands.
.
.
Huh?
“I understand.” Atsumu says. He reaches to the ground to pick up the sweat he discarded last night. You watch him slide it on, tugging it over his head. He’s not meeting your eyes.
“I’m sorry.” You end up speaking, unable to deal with the silence. “But I think it’s for the best.”
He pauses in fixing his hair and turns to give you a look. You recoil slightly at the intensity in his eyes.
“D’ya really believe that?”
His question has you jolting again. Your mind blanks and you have to shake your head to clear your surprise. What kind of question is that? Doesn’t he too believe it’s for the best? He never stayed, so he knew how bad this was just as much as you did.
In your confusion and surprise at Atsumu’s question you don’t reply right away. But he seems to take that as an answer in itself. He nods, his face going hard before walking out of the room.
Either the simple dismissal from Atsumu or the fact that he thinks he knows what you wanted to say from your silence makes your blood boil. That arrogance is his kryptonite that he refuses to reign in.
You’re on your feet before you know it, following him to the front door.
“Hey!” You snap at him. You catch him flinching imperceptibly but he doesn’t stop shoving his feet into his shoes. “Don’t act like you knew what I was going to say.”
He snorts. “I’ve known ya for eight years, Y/N. I think I can make a pretty good guess.”
“Fuck you,” you mumble. “Honestly, we know this isn’t healthy. If I didn’t say anything we would’ve continued with this delusion-”
“Delusion, huh?” Atsumu whirls around and meets your gaze, his eyes hard. “So now I’m crazy, is that what yer sayin’?”
“My god, don’t put words in my mouth. You used to do that all the fucking time,” you can’t help but laugh. “See? Do you see this? We broke up because of this!”
“It wasn’t my choice.” You hear him mutter.
You laugh again. “You had just as much say, Atsumu. Besides your garbage behavior, you agreed to us breaking -”
“I wish I didn’t!”
Your mouth drops open and you’re unable to reply.
Funny, it’s probably the first argument in your apartment since you broke up. And it’s the first time that an argument has rendered you speechless.
Atsumu’s eyes are also wide, but he shakes his head and utters a soft ‘fuck’ before standing up straight and facing you.
“I wish I didn’t agree to breakin’ up and I regret not fightin’ for ya more.”
You still can’t find it in you to reply, your throat completely dried up.
“I’m sorry Y/N. I miss ya. I miss ya so much.”
Atsumu’s quiet honesty is what makes you finally find your voice.
“But we fought.” You croak. “All the time. We were miserable.”
Atsumu nods. “Yea, but it was my fault. No,” He holds up his hand to stop you interrupting. “It was. We fought a lot, yea. But you were fightin’ for us. I was the one who didn’t put in any effort, and the fights were because I was bein’ selfish. I put too much into my team and I took ya for granted. And when ya tried to talk to me ‘bout it, I ignored ya.”
~~~
Then
“For FUCK’S sake YN, will you get off my back?!”
“No! Because this is the FOURTH time you’ve stood me up! On our anniversary, no less!”
“We have an important game comin’ up and I hafta prepare. I can’t have any distractions.”
“Oh so now I’m a fucking distraction? Jesus, why don’t you throw me out the door with the garbage then?”
“A bag of garbage would be less naggy than you.”
“Fuck you Atsumu. I know your precious volleyball team needs all the help it can get but when I’m coming to you and telling you how I feel you decide to shit all over me. I’m not gonna deal with it anymore.”
“My team is the fucking best, ok? Don’t be condescending.”
“Oho, the best?! Because of you?! What a joke. Do you really think you’ll ever be as good as some of those other players? Do you really think you’re good enough to be on the national team? They wouldn’t take you as a ball boy!”
“...”
“Hey, baby. I’m -”
“You’re such a fucking bitch. It’s a wonder I haven’t offed myself to escape you.”
“...”
“I’m going to Osamu’s, don’t wait up.”
~~~
Now
It’s a very different Atsumu standing in front of you now. Instead of the raging, nearly feral man you once loved you have Atsumu, standing tall and face full of remorse.
“What I did, and what I said - I know it’s unforgivable.” He sighs and shakes his head. “And I know it’s even worse that I realized it after we broke up. But I am so sorry, Y/N. I’ve done a lot of stupid shit in my life but none of it compares to how I treated ya.”
You truly have no idea what to say. How could you? This, your former best friend and soulmate, changed into some unrecognizable character hellbent on achieving his own goals at the expense of others. He became a monster that plagued your thoughts, day and night. But what was worse was that it made you a monster. You would be so angry and lash out just as hard for your own selfish pleasure. You hated the person you became when you were fighting Atsumu?
Were you destined to go down that path again?
“I promise to leave ya alone if you want.” Atsumu pledges to you. “I’ll leave and never come back, god I know I don’t deserve to even be here. Ya’ve been so kind, lettin’ me stay but I deserve sleepless nights for the rest of my life for how I treated ya. But if ya want to try again, I promise I’ll do all that I can to make ya feel appreciated and loved.”
You continue to stare at Atsumu, mute. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess, and you have no idea what to do. You have no idea what to say.
Atsumu takes your silence as an answer yet again, and nods dejectedly but accepting.
Yet again, you can’t believe the audacity of this man.
Atsumu turns away and moves towards the door.
“Wait,” you say.
He turns back to you, still despondent and trying very hard not to show it. Your thoughts are all over the place. You know you both will have to sit down and have a long, long talk. But you finally say what you’ve wanted to say since Atsumu has been coming to your door in the middle of the night.
“I’m sorry, for everything I did.” You pause, taking a shaky breath in. “Please stay.”
It takes Atsumu a minute to register your plea but once he does his eyes widen and he runs back to you. His arms wrap around you and he brings you close to his chest. You exhale sharply, from both the impact and from finally giving into what your heart desired.
“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” Atsumu whispers into your hair. You feel his shoulders shake as he breaks down in tears and you let a few escape on your own.
“Shhh, it’s okay.” You reassure him. You’re just as desperate to hold him in your arms and tell yourself that everything is fine. “It’s okay.”
“I was so scared,” he sobs into your hair. “I was so scared you’d say no and I’d be alone.”
“Don’t be scared.” You tell him. You pull back so you can meet his tear-filled eyes. You give him a gentle smile, one that has felt more genuine than any you’ve given in the past few weeks. “I’m here.”
You give him a gentle peck on the lips, feeling him reciprocate despite the wobble to his. You don’t hold the kiss for long before he breaks down in sobs again and clutches you.
You let him hold onto you, as desperate as he is, and you let yourself unwind. Both of you were terribly scared to be lonely, that much is clear. But you know that isn’t something you’ll ever have to worry about again.
END.
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