#Dua For Missing Person

[mandosaur]

New Rules (Miguel O'Hara / Reader)

Fandom: Across the Spider-Verse

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara / Reader

Word Count: 11,320

Estimated Reading Time: 40:58

Summary:

“No.”

Her voice is firm and she jabs a finger at your chest.

“Do not do that. Hit ignore. Block him. Toss the thing at the wall. Do not answer.”

Lyla calls again and sends an alert that Miguel is trying to contact you.

“Hit ignore! Don’t do it!” Gia reaches out for your watch.

You stand abruptly. It’s a stupid, stupid choice. You know it is. Gia is right, you should just chuck the thing in a garbage bag.

But you still fish your phone out of Gia’s purse and toss some cash at the bar.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize.

Your on and off again friends with benefits arrangement with Miguel comes to a close, but you just can’t seem to let him go.

Loosely based off “New Rules” by Dua Lipa.

“One: Don't pick up the phone You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone Two: Don't let him in You'll have to kick him out again Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him.” “New Rules” by Dua Lipa.

—————

The outfit you’ve picked out for yourself tonight looks great. It’s a red little number that’s been in your closet for ages aching to be worn. You weren’t sure when you bought it how it would look like on you, but it makes you feel great when you catch a sight of yourself in the mirror. You look attractive, hot, and it steels some of your resolve as you head down to where you and your friend agreed to meet.

If you were being honest, you’ve really needed a confidence boost these past few days. The heart ache nestled deep in your chest wouldn’t go away and simply touring New York looking for villains of the week to fight wasn’t cutting it.

A sigh leaves your lips as you find yourself in a bar downtown. Gia, your roommate, has selected a bar for you both to have dinner at. It’s relatively quiet tonight with only a handful of people, yet it still offers plenty of distraction. You may not have been enthusiastic about going out, but you can appreciate having something else to put your mind to.

Although you can’t tell Gia the truth about your recent stint with heartbreak, she knows the details. She knows you had a little fling going on with a guy who checked all your boxes but just wasn’t willing to commit. He’d take you into his bed then leave before the sun rose. It was a never ending push and pull.

Gia didn’t understand why you couldn’t just block the guy and be done with it. She had already chastised you for your “lack of self control” and “frustrating addiction” to pain.

Of course, she didn’t know Miguel.

Miguel. The man who had come into your universe and invited you into his elite little Spider-Man task force to hunt for anomalies. The man who seemed to understand what loss was better than anyone and made you feel seen. Perhaps the only person who knew you better than you.

Gia didn’t get the song and dance you had around him because she didn’t know what it was like to exist as a masked vigilante losing everyone around you. She didn’t know how lonely it was or how sometimes you couldn’t tell who was under the mask. Or if there even was a part of you left that wasn’t just tied to your responsibilities as a hero.

Miguel was the only one who got you. The two of you had clicked like puzzle pieces after meeting. He favored you over the others and had moments where he seemed like he loved you back. Being with him was like finally finding a piece of yourself that you hadn’t realized was missing.

When the two of you had started sleeping together, you had been hopeful. Perhaps the little arrangement between you both would lead to something new. Hell, there had been plenty of moments where he had seemed softer outside of the bedroom and quite a few times you’d catch him staring with a look of affection-

But then everything would go wrong. The moment the two of you got close outside of a biblical sense, he’d pull back. Close you out and end things with you. You’d go days without speaking to each other feeling miserable and heart broken only to be suddenly called back by him.

He’d pull you back in like a magnet and sleep with you over and over again until the next time you ventured too close and he shoved you aside once more.

It was a very painful back and forth, yet you couldn’t find it in you to end things permanently. Not when he took up a large part of your heart, and not when he was your boss of all things.

Currently, you were on the outs again. He’d called it off a few days ago after a bad mission. He’d come back to HQ in a horrible mood and everyone else had suffered for it. When you’d walked up to his office to check in on him, he had snapped at you to leave. His words had been harsh and cold. He had ordered you to stop acting like his girlfriend, constantly checking in and taking care of him like a child, and reminded you that nothing existed between you other than two adults satisfying some urges.

His words had been a blow to your heart and you had left HQ suppressing tears. Gwen and Hobie had watched you go with sympathy, and Jess had mercifully delayed your missions for a while to give you time to recover. Either that or Miguel had ordered her to keep you away from him.

So, naturally, your best friend had suggested you go out for some drinks. Gia didn’t know about your alter ego or quite who Miguel was, but she knew enough to declare him undeserving of you and promised you’d find someone else.

You look up briefly when Gia arrives. She looks stunning in the neon dress she’s wearing and has done her hair in an elaborate style. There’s a happy grin on her face as she slides in the booth opposite of you and you envy her joy.

She calls your name and hugs you over the table.

“You look hot today!” She remarks.

You offer her your best smile which isn’t much. Already, you can feel some of your earlier apprehension return. You have no energy to be out and about with people. Tonight would have been so much better had you been able to curl up in bed with a box of tissues and some ice cream.

“Meet any cute people?” Gia asks. She rummages through the fries you’ve ordered while scanning the bar.

There’s a group of guys in one corner who eye her with appreciation. You think you catch one looking at you too, but you turn away uninterested. The guy seems handsome, but his eyes aren’t red and he doesn’t have two sets of fangs. He’s not the one you desperately want.

“I’m not feeling too social today,” you admit. You twirl your straw wrapper pensively.

Gia gives you a look with a deadpan expression. You know what she’s thinking. She finds it frustrating you can’t just let Miguel go. She doesn’t get why you’re so hung up on him.

But you are. You genuinely have fallen for him in your time working together. He’s showed you parts of him he’s never showed others. He’s told you about Gaby and how he raised her as a single father in her dimension for months before losing her. He’s told you about how he got his powers and the doubts that come with it. He’s shared his canon events with you and opened up to you about the stress he’s in with holding up the entire multiverse.

He’s let you in where he’s shut others out. You know he feels something for you, are sure of it deep in your bones, but he’s just not willing to admit it to himself. That’s what makes it all so frustrating. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is torture, but loving someone who does yet won’t allow it for themselves is a death sentence.

Gia sighs and the sound rouses you out of your thoughts. She pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes tightly.

“You have really got to get back out there, babe. He’s not the only man in the world. He’s not adding to your life,” she shakes her head.

You look down at your hands.

“You know I can’t,” you murmur.

A part of you wishes you could. If you could flick a switch and let him go, you’d do it. You’d be better off forgetting all about him. It would save you so much heart ache, but your feelings run deep. He’s captured you completely, tangled you up in his web, and you can’t let him go.

Gia thrusts a hand out at you with a look of impatience. She wiggles her fingers and waits expectantly.

“Gia-“

“Ah, ah, you know the drill. Phone.”

You give her a glare but pass your phone over. Gia has insisted on confiscating it since your last break up. She doesn’t want you to be tempted to call Miguel. Of course, your watch is the only real way to connect with him because of the differences in universes, but you’re certainly not going to tell her that.

Instead, you purse your lips when she slides your phone into her purse and watch as she leans forward. She has a gleam in her eye when she surveys the bar. She’s watching every person carefully trying to assess who’s worth your time.

Eventually, she zeroes in on the guy from before. He’s broken off with his friends and is now sitting alone at the bar. Nursing a glass of something amber, he catches Gia’s eye as he throws another look your way.

You don’t even have time to react before Gia is yanking you up by your hand. She’s pitching you forward before you can even blink. You half wonder if she’s the one with superpowers and not you when you suddenly find yourself in front of the guy.

Gia waves the bartender forward and not so subtly shoves you towards the guy. You catch yourself on his chair with a hiss of her name.

“You alright?” The stranger blinks up at you in surprise.

“I am so sorry,” you hold your hands up, ���My friend is drunk-“

Gia swoops in and tosses an arm around your shoulder. She has the same mischievous grin she wore back in college every time she had some idea terrible she was cooking up. It’s gotten you into some trouble before and scares you now.

“Hey, you look like you could use some company. My friend here just left her asshole ex. Why don’t you two catch up while I get us some drinks?” She pats your shoulder and is gone in a whirlwind of energy.

You could melt into the floor out of humiliation.

“OhgodGia,” you groan. You don’t even want to look at the stranger out of sheer embarrassment.

The stranger coughs lightly in surprise before offering you a smile. He blinks in Gia’s wake before offering his hand.

“Oh wow,” he remarks with his own blush, “Well that was subtle. But, please, sit. I-My name is Tyler.”

Knowing that Gia will kill you if you don’t at least try, you slide into the stool next to him slowly. Maybe if you entertain him for a few minutes you can satisfy Gia and convince her to take you home. Then you can proceed to strangle her in a dark alleyway away from witnesses for putting you in this situation.

“I am really sorry about her-again. She means well she’s just a lot,” you run a hand down your face and introduce yourself with your name.

The stranger, Tyler, seems friendly at least. He grins easily at you with his own embarrassment. You can tell Gia has put him on the spot too. At least the two of you have that in common.

“Well, at least she broke the ice for me. I saw you a while ago and thought you were really pretty. My own friends were teasing me too,” he offers.

You wave down the bartender and place an order. You definitely won’t get through Hurricane Gia without a drink.

“So, a break up?” Tyler offers a sympathetic smile, “Been there. I just broke up with my fiancée a few months ago. I think I spent an entire month living off of frozen pizza rolls and watching terrible documentaries just to take the edge off. I definitely know how awful it feels.”

His words put you at ease some. You swirl the ice around your glass.

“Breakup is maybe not the right word. We weren’t really together. I wanted more and he didn’t.”

It hurts to say it out loud. It sounds so pathetic when you put it that way, but you can’t help it. The truth is a brutal knife to the ribs.

Tyler makes a noise of sympathy.

“Well, he didn’t know what he missed out on. It’s his loss,” he lifts his glass to you.

You glance away and see Gia staring from your old table. She mouths for you to keep going. You flip her off when Tyler turns around.

“I’m really sorry about my friend. She’s determined that the way to get over heartache is to find someone else. I’m not really interested in that,” you admit. Better to lay your cards out now.

Tyler leans in like he’s about to tell you a secret.

“Don’t worry, I’m not either. My friends dragged me here tonight too. The one in the gray suit is getting married next month and wanted a chill night out. I’m not here to meet someone. It’s too soon, but maybe we can be friends? Breakup buddies and all that.”

He offers you his cellphone and asks for your number. You bite your lip but decide to take the plunge. Why not? It’s not like you owe any loyalty to anyone.

Once you’ve exchanged information, Tyler’s friends call him over. They’ve decided to move on to another bar across town. Tyler has no choice but to go.

He gets up and gives you a friendly wave.

“Don’t be a stranger,” he turns around then hesitates and turns back to you, “And, for the record, that ex of yours is an idiot. I wouldn’t have let someone like you go.”

Once he’s gone and you’re feeling bashful again, Gia slides into the seat he just occupied. She’s munching on fries like she didn’t just humiliate you. You aim a hard kick to her shin and feel better when she shrieks.

“Never do that to me again,” you warn.

She doesn’t promise you that. Instead, she presses you for info on Tyler.

“You two going on a date soon?” She urges.

“He just got out of a breakup too. He’s not interested either. I’m not going out with anyone.”

Gia sighs.

“Look, the important thing is that you let this mystery guy of yours go. This on and off thing is for high schoolers who haven’t developed their prefrontal cortex and have zero impulse control. You’re an adult. I don’t want to see you so broken up about him. You need to get him out of your system.”

You look away.

It sounds easy, you admit, but forgetting Miguel isn’t an option. He invaded your senses. You remember what it’s like to be held and kissed by him every time you try and push him aside. You remember the way he laughs when you manage to crack through his walls, the way he smiles when he thinks you aren’t looking, and the way his voice gets softer when you call. Even if he’s been yelling at someone moments before, his voice always gets soft when you appear.

He loves you. You know it. He probably knows it. Everyone in the agency knows it. It’s just that he’s not willing to take that final plunge.

Before you can say anything more, your watch begins to glow. Lyla is trying to patch a call through.

Gia doesn’t know much about your watch, but she knows enough to guess you’re being called. She narrows her eyes at you when she sees the way your body tenses.

“No.”

Her voice is firm and she jabs a finger at your chest.

“Do not do that. Hit ignore. Block him. Toss the thing at the wall. Do not answer.”

Lyla calls again and sends an alert that Miguel is trying to contact you.

“Hit ignore! Don’t do it!” Gia reaches out for your watch.

You stand abruptly. It’s a stupid, stupid choice. You know it is. Gia is right, you should just chuck the thing in a garbage bag.

But you still fish your phone out of Gia’s purse and toss some cash at the bar.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize.

The look Gia gives you is murderous. She puts her head in her hands like she’s fed up with you. In her place, you’d probably be fed up too.

Still, you slip out the bar and hit your watch. A little projection of Lyla appears as you duck into a secluded area.

“Lyla?” You tilt your head.

Lyla hums, “Miguel wants you at his office. Says he hasn’t seen you in a while. Poor Miggy is worried for you. You don’t usually spend so much time away from HQ.”

She patches a portal for you. You look around to make sure you aren’t being watched then slide in. Gia will definitely tear you a new one for this tomorrow, but can’t resist the urge not to go back to him.

———————————————

Miguel is standing by his computer when you arrive. He’s reading some reports when you pop in. His eyes glance at you as you emerge and his eyes widen.

You’re still in your outfit from the bar. It’s a little ego boost to see the way his eyes scan you from inch to inch. If nothing else, you can find comfort in the fact that you still have the power to drive him crazy.

“You called?” You voice.

HQ is empty this time of night. Most people are either back in their own universe or staying in some of the dorms on the other side of the building. For now, it’s just you and Miguel.

Some anticipation builds in your stomach. This is how a lot of your late night meetings have started.

Miguel straightens up from his chair. You don’t miss the way he swallows when he sees you.

“Did I interrupt something?”

You can’t be sure but maybe there’s just the hint of an edge to his voice. He sounds a little miffed, like he’s jealous. It’s a nice change from his usual aloofness with you.

“I went out for drinks,” you admit, “What is it?”

It’s been days since you’ve last seen him and you missed him. It’s so easy to miss him. He has a hold on you that you can’t possibly escape from. He’s magnetic without trying, has a good heart even if he hides it behind a facade of anger and coldness, and he cares about people. He’s a good person. You’ve glimpsed it all and have fallen hard. Being without him hurts more than any broken bone or injury.

Miguel hesitates when he looks at you. You take stock of him.

He has dark circles under his eyes and looks stressed. A part of you hopes it’s because your last argument has also been keeping him up. If you aren’t the only one hurting, you think it’ll make you feel better. Then again, there’s a mountain of paperwork on his desk and his computer has a ton of messages unread. Maybe it’s less you and more the job itself that has kept him up.

“Jess said you needed a few days off because you weren’t feeling well. I just wanted to make sure you were healthy,” he turns away from you, “Yet I’m sure you are. If you can go around drinking, you can go on a mission.”

A prickle of irritation fills you.

“Did you just call me here because of that? This could have been an email.”

You hope your face doesn’t show the disappointment you feel. For a second, you had been expecting him to have changed. To have admitted he was wrong and hadn’t treated you fairly. Then again, this was Miguel. Miguel wasn’t exactly known for being sentimental or emotional.

“What else is there?” He doesn’t even turn around before he’s at his computer, “I’m assigning you a case this week. Your little vacation is over. You’re dismissed.”

Indignation fills you. You shake your head firmly.

“Come on, Miguel. Give me a little more than that. I haven’t seen you in days and all you do is assign me more work? That’s it?”

You step forward towards him.

He turns around and glares. His eyes flash with a warning.

“That’s it. Go.”

He’s got the voice he uses for the other recruits. The one you’ve heard him scold Hobie and Peter B. in plenty of times. It’s not one he tends to use on you, and you bristle.

“Why did you call me here? Lyla wouldn’t open a portal for me if it was just for work.”

Miguel’s jaw is clenched.

“Well she did that without me asking. I didn’t want you here.”

His words are a blow to the stomach, and your anger grows. You jab a finger at him and glare.

“You’re not even going to apologize? You insult me days ago then want to be professional again without apologizing-“

“Why would I apologize?” His own anger is rising, “I meant what I said. You knew what this was when we started. I’m not sorry you forgot.”

A huff leaves your lips. You shake your head and take another step forward.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re annoying.”

You meet each other half way. His face is clouded with anger. You can feel your heart race in your chest from you own rage.

“I can’t believe you won’t admit that you want more between us.”

“And I can’t believe you’re testing my self control showing up here in this dress and pointing a finger at me,” he retorts. His eyes go down to your lips. You can sense what he’s about to do.

You lean in first and he devours you. The kiss is full of fire and anger. You’re both pent up and stressed. It burns and consumes you in a way you’ve been longing.

Anger fuels you and you take his hair in your hand giving it a firm tug earning a hiss from him. He picks you up and sets you on a nearby desk. The files scatter on the ground. Neither of you notice.

“You’re not going to apologize?” You hiss it between breaths.

He makes a sound at the back of his throat, “I’ve got nothing to apologize for. My intentions were always clear.”

His mouth goes for your throat. Your rebuke is lost as his hands begin to inch under your dress. The words he’s spitting out at you hurt, but his fingers soothe the sting when he explores your body.

This is a mistake. Gia is right. You should shove him off you and walk away. You’ll never get over him if you’re still sleeping with him, yet you can’t seem to do that. Your body amidst the haze of ecstasy won’t allow it.

Instead, you close your eyes and give in. You let him fuck you in his office all while telling yourself you’ll deal with the fallout in the morning. You don’t think of the consequences or how much this will hurt when the sun rises-

And it does.

It hurts like hell when you blink awake after dozing off in his chair and find him gone in the morning. He’s left for the day and a note near you is the only thing he leaves behind. You read it then throw it into the waste bin with tears running down your face.

In his messy scrawl he’s written, THIS CHANGES NOTHING.

———————————————

Gia has her arms crossed when you return to your shared apartment. She knows where you’ve been. She can see it in the bites he’s left along your neck and shoulders. The walk of shame you just took burns.

“You slept with him, huh?” Her eyes are narrowed in annoyance.

You sign and bury your head in your hands. She isn’t done with you yet. Her judgement feels thick against your skin.

“And he left again, huh? Right after he got what he wanted.”

The question makes you cry. You burst into tears feeling regret and heartbreak. Gia sighs and her gaze softens. She wraps her arms around you and holds you close.

What’s worse is that the pain of his rejection doesn’t hold a candle to the pain of missing him. It’s illogical and pathetic, but you and Gia both know this won’t be the last time you make this same mistake.

And it isn’t.

Days later, he appears at your doorstep and you welcome him into your bed again.

———————————————

Days after that encounter, you open the door to find Miguel bleeding in the hallway. He has a large gash across his side that looks painful. He stumbles inside before you can even react.

“Miguel?”

You close the door behind you as he hisses in pain.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come, but I need a first aid kit,” he groans.

You’re grateful Gia isn’t here. You don’t think you could explain why Miguel is bleeding in his spider suit. That or why you let your ex back inside again.

Deciding to shelve your personal feelings, you hurry him over to the kitchen and set him down on a chair. There’s a first aid kit under the sink. You’ve used it plenty of times before when you come back from fighting crime.

Miguel is strong and puts on a brave face as you go about patching him up. The gash at his side is the worst one, but his knuckles are also bleeding and there’s a tiny cut on the side of his chin that looks painful too. It doesn’t look like he’ll need stitches, but it does look bad.

“What happened?” You look up at him.

“Anomaly. I took it down, but it got me on the side. I didn’t even think before coming here. I’m sorry.”

He looks away as you work. You wish you could tell what thoughts are running through his mind. Your own are consumed with the fact that he’s here.

HQ was just a click of the watch away. Lyla could have called him to the medics there and gotten him help. Why had he showed up at your place? You haven’t spoken since the night at his office.

The memory of it stings and you purse your lips.

This is probably a mistake. The second mistake you’ve made this week. Things won’t end well if you don’t develop a sense of self control, but you’re not sure you want to let go. Despite everything, there’s still a little nag of hope that’s rooted itself deep into your heart. You don’t want to give up.

“You weren’t at HQ these past few days either,” Miguel speaks up. He suppresses a wince when you finish his side. The skin there is already starting to heal over. A testament to his powers.

The bruises on his knuckles look worse than they are. It takes just a bit of treatment to get them to start healing too. Soon, the cuts are just dark bruises.

“I did my mission. I let Hobie do the report for me,” you explain.

The mission he had assigned you on had been easy. You and Hobie had taken the anomaly down without question. It was just another villain of the week. At the end, Hobie had offered to go back to HQ without you to check in with Jess and Miguel. You had fled back to your universe certain that you couldn’t face people there just yet.

A muscle on his jaw works as he tightens it, “You don’t have to avoid me. I’m sorry for what happened earlier.”

His words make you ache. You hate feeling this way. Always dancing around the truth but never able to fully face it.

The final cut he has is on his chin. You have to look at his face to tend to it. His eyes are trained on you and the depths there take your breath away.

There’s trepidation and nervousness there along with something else. It’s soft and meek like he’s trying to shield it. You think it’s a cross between longing and affection.

He does love you too. You believe it strongly. He just doesn’t want to admit it. Miguel is the kind of man who can face hordes of villains and never falter, but ask him to open up and share his feelings and he panics. He can’t even be honest with himself.

Your fingers trace the planes of his face as you apply a thin layer of ointment on the cut.

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” you whisper. It always seemed like he wanted you as far away from himself as possible. You had agreed to give him that even if it slowly killed you, “Why did you come here tonight? Really?”

Lyla wouldn’t have sent him to you if he hadn’t asked. For all of her teasing of him, she is mostly obedient. She would know not to send him where he doesn’t want to. The fact that he came to your door means a part of him did.

Why? Why tell you to keep your distance then show up at your home anyway? Could there also be a part of him that finds you just as impossible to be away from? Or are you clinging to him and seeing what isn’t there?

A faint trace of color has spread through his face. You blink. Without realizing it, your fingers have been stroking his chin. It’s such a habit that you never even noticed it.

An apology forms on your lips and you drop you hand before he intercepts it. He takes your hand in his and stares down at it. The muscle in his jaw works again.

“I wanted to see you. Hobie said you had been injured on your mission. I nearly came here then and there,” he admits. It’s a quiet breath into the night like he can’t believe he’s admitting it. Your heart picks up.

The injury in question had been a simple broken rib. Your powers come with accelerated healing. By the time you had noticed it, it had already started repairing itself. Hobie and Miguel both know this, yet he had been worried. A part of you dares to hope again.

And then you remember the way he had left you in his office. The note that had broken your heart. The way he took and never gave anything back. An ugly feeling twists in the pit of your stomach.

“I really don’t know why you’re doing this to me,” you breathe out.

It hurts to be led on. It hurts to be discarded. Maybe Gia is right. Maybe you should just let go. Resign from the agency and ignore the thought of him forever.

You pull your hand free and turn around. His eyes follow you as you begin to pack your first aid kit.

When he calls your name, his voice is soft and hesitant. It fills you with a yearning that aches.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he admits, “We just can’t-“

“We can’t? Or you can’t?”

Miguel is brave but there is one fear he can never face. He’s lost so much already and is afraid of losing more. That’s why he keeps people at an arm’s reach. No one is allowed into his heart because he’s lost everyone thus far. His own daughter, or at least in another universe, had disappeared in his arms. He won’t let anyone else in.

A rational part of you knows it. You know he’s pushing you away because he’s scared. He doesn’t want to lose you to the danger of your jobs or the universe that keeps you apart-

But doesn’t he see that he’s losing you anyway? That pushing you away is slowly killing your worse than a villain ever could?

By the time you turn around to look at him, you are surprised to find him right behind you. His hands slot around your waist and he presses his forehead to yours. It’s an affectionate gesture he doesn’t do often. Perhaps the adrenaline from the fight he just came back from is still coursing through his veins and making him more vulnerable.

Your name falls out of his lips like a prayer. You barely have time to react before he’s kissing you.

This kiss is different from the one at HQ. It’s full of fear and adrenaline. He kisses you like he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to do it again. Maybe you should never let him do it again.

It’s addicting. You cling to him like he’ll disappear if you don’t. Surely he will disappear if you don’t. It feels like home when the two of you touch. You’re two halves of a whole never truly feeling satisfied if you aren’t together.

Life would be so much easier if he just admitted he loved you too. If he took a chance on you both. It would save you so much heartache.

It’s a really bad idea to do this tonight, you think. You haven’t discussed anything. You haven’t come to an agreement or settled out your feelings. The two of you are merely working on instinct.

But that doesn’t stop you from leading him to your bed. His injuries don’t stop him from sleeping with you. The darkness of the night offers some cover for what you’re doing. Some way to hide from the emotions you are trying so hard to evoke and he so hard to restrain.

It’s a long night for you both. By the time you’re done, you’re exhausted and he has to go back to his world. You don’t say anything as he turns to dress. Sleep is slowly creeping up along with the smallest whisper in your head that chides you for doing this again. Falling back into his web without measuring the consequence.

Before he leaves, he kisses your forehead. It’s a soft piece of affection he’s never done before after sex. If you weren’t so tired and sleep weren’t already dragging your eyelids shut, you would have asked him to stay.

Still, before he leaves, you swear you hear him whisper an “I love you” into your skin. You can never be truly sure of it. Perhaps it was a dream your subconscious did to ease your heartbreak, but you want to believe it’s true anyway.

It isn’t until the next morning that you wake up alone again and hate yourself for putting yourself through this once more.

———————————————

Avoiding HQ isn’t doing you any favors. There’s a mountain of work with your name on it that you haven’t done in a while. Jess has been patient thus far, but you hate to add more stress to her plate.

You’re an adult. You can do professional. Even if your ex is the leader of the agency, you know you can keep calm and work.

So days after your last encounter, you ask Lyla for a portal and set off for HQ. Gwen nods at you as you pass by and you detect a hint or worry on her face. You offer her a weak smile in turn and hurry to your desk.

Paperwork is tedious. You’ve always hated to write mission reports, but it keeps your mind occupied. You breeze through five entire files before your fingers begin to cramp.

The sun in Miguel’s universe is starting to set by the time you finally give up. The workload has eased some, but you’re stuck on one particular file. The document needs some information that Miguel has in his computer. Lyla doesn’t respond when you call her, likely helping out with another mission some other team has been sent on, so you have no choice but to go to his office.

A pit of anxiety forms in your stomach. You dread walking up the stairs to where his office is. It’s been days since you last made the mistake of letting him in, and you’re not eager to see him again. Still, you can’t just shirk your duties because you’re heartbroken.

So you make yourself a promise not to sleep with him this time and go up the stairs. You tell yourself you won’t let him back in for once. That you’ll cut him off cold turkey and be out of his hair before he can even react. Maybe if you copy the document fast, you can get out before he even has a chance to speak-

But then the sound of voices reaches your ear. You can make out Miguel’s voice and someone else’s. Peter B.? It seems the two are talking in his office.

It’s wrong of you to listen in, you know it, and you almost go back down the stairs deciding to come back tomorrow-

But then Peter B. says your name and you freeze. For a moment, you panic that maybe they know you’re here. Maybe one of them has detected you with their senses or maybe Miguel has smelled you. However, it later becomes apparent they’re just talking about you.

Curiosity burns and you hesitate. It’s wrong, an invasion of their privacy, but you can’t help yourself. If they’re discussing you without your presence, you think you’re owed some rights to hear what they’re saying.

So you inch back to the door and listen in making sure to keep yourself discrete.

Peter B. sounds serious for once. It’s uncharacteristic for him. He’s talking to Miguel and you can hear something in his voice like he’s upset.

“-ow long are you going to keep doing this? You’re both miserable.”

He’s scolding Miguel. His words sound both sympathetic and exasperated. He reminds you so much of Gia that you almost roll your eyes.

“This isn’t your business,” Miguel’s voice is a growl. You recognize the dark tone he uses. It’s a tone he’s used on you before in arguments. He uses it when you pry too close and he gets frightened.

“I’m your friend,” Peter B. argues back, “I’m just looking out for you.”

There’s the scrape of a chair like he’s flung himself into a seat. You can practically imagine them both sitting across from each other. Miguel skulking and trying to ignore him while he talks while Peter B. chastises him.

Since they’ve met, Peter B. has called himself Miguel’s friend. Miguel denies it vehemently and claims not to have friends, yet he doesn’t kick him out when he intrudes. He always seems to let him talk or lets him bring Mayday to work. It’s likely that, like your situation, Miguel does think of Peter as a friend even if he would never admit it.

“We are not friends. You should go home,” Miguel bites back.

Peter makes a sound like he’s shaking his head. You hear him sigh and the chair creaks as he shifts his weight.

“Look, I get it. I do. I was divorced once, but come on, Miguel. This isn’t healthy. You keep torturing yourself with this over and over again. When will you just admit the truth to yourself?” His voice sounds tired.

Miguel is silent. You wish he weren’t. You’d love to hear what he’s thinking.

Peter continues.

“You sleep with her, you ask Lyla to check in with her, you watch her on your screens, you send her out on the least dangerous missions, and you panic when she gets hurt. Why can’t you just admit you’re in love with her and let her in. We all deserve a chance to be happy, right?”

You manage to bite back the gasp that rises up your throat.

There. Peter has said it out loud. The one thing you’ve never said out loud or Miguel.

There’s a very tense silence that follows. Miguel refuses to budge. You can practically imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose the way he does when he’s upset.

Frustration fills you. You wish he’d say something. Anything. Finally admit the truth to someone even if it isn’t to you. Or at least admit the truth to himself.

You know he loves you. Everyone around you knows too. Jess, Hobie, Gwen, Pav, Peter, Ben…Everyone knows. It’s just getting him to say it out loud and do something about it that’s the hard part.

A hand slams on something. You almost jump. It seems Miguel has taken his frustration out on a monitor. You can hear the static chirping as the screen splits in half.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he hisses it out at Peter, “She’s just a colleague.”

Peter doesn’t give up. You hear his chair scrape as he stands.

“You don’t do everything you’re doing for a colleague. Look, I lost Mary Jane too once. She left me and I was miserable. I would have never have found happiness again or gotten Mayday if I hadn’t just let go of my fear. Someone once told me it’s all just a leap of faith.”

A leap of faith. You think you like that expression.

Miguel doesn’t.

“I’m not afraid and our situations aren’t comparable. Your wife was from your universe. You belonged to the same world. She didn’t have powers that made her risk her life daily. She wasn’t always in danger. You know our line of work. You know why I can’t.”

You hear him begin to pace. He’s going for his stage system. If he ascends up, he’ll brood forever and Peter’s efforts will be for naught. You hope he manages to stop him before that happens.

He does. You can hear when Peter clicks off the elevator’s button and when Miguel growls out a warning for him to quit.

“You are afraid, and that’s okay. You just can’t let fear destroy you. I was afraid to have Mayday and look at me! I love being a dad. You should let her in. Let yourself be happy. You’ve already lost enough.”

You think to Miguel’s daughter. The way he had broken when he had lost her. You think of his canon events and the people he’s watched die. It makes sense that he’s so terrified about letting you in. You get it.

However, Peter is right. Fear shouldn’t control him. You’re afraid too about loving someone in your line of work, but you’ve decided to be brave. In a world where you could die any moment, isn’t it better to die having have experienced a great love? Doesn’t the reward outweigh the pain?

Miguel mutters a string of Spanish. He’s irritated and beginning to shut down. Any moment now he’ll close himself up. You just hope Peter’s words were enough to get him to think.

Your hopes, however, are shattered when he next speaks.

“I’ll end things with her then. Happy? Set her free. She doesn’t deserve being strung along-“

“Miguel, that’s not what-“

Peter’s words are cut off as the elevator is turned back on. Your eyes burn with tears and anger floods you.

Stupid, stupid man. Too stubborn and cowardly for his own good.

“Don’t do this, Miguel, come on!” Peter practically begs him as the elevator begins to make its ascent up, “It’s not just you you’re hurting.”

“I’m going to end things once and for all. You’re right. This isn’t fair.”

Miguel’s words are final and the elevator clangs as he reaches the top. Moments later, you hear Peter drop into his chair out of frustration. That’s your key to leave.

You storm off HQ and call on Lyla. This time she answers. Whatever playful retort was on her tongue earlier dies away when she sees your tears.

You don’t give her a chance to ask what’s wrong. Instead, you demand a portal back to your world.

Emerging back into your apartment, you storm over to your cellphone. Gia was right, you think, you do need to get him out of your system. So you scroll until you find the text from Tyler all those nights ago at the bar and you send him a message inviting him over.

If Miguel wants to call things off, then you’re way ahead of him.

———————————————

Tyler is a great guy. He shows up at your apartment with some take out and doesn’t pry when he sees your poor attempt at concealing your pain. He’s entirely platonic and friendly when you invite him in.

He knows this isn’t anything more than a distraction. You two are break up buddies. There’s no romance or lust between either of you, so there’s no nervousness or tension when you sit down to eat.

Gia has left for the night pleased that you’ve finally taken her advice. You don’t have the strength in you to clarify that it isn’t like that and she doesn’t have to leave your apartment to give you privacy.

“Hope you like Chinese,” Tyler holds up some takeout boxes.

“Love it,” you reply. You try to sound upbeat and positive, but it falls flat. Tyler gives you a look of concern but doesn’t comment. He’s willing to give you space.

The two of you plop down on the couch and you let him choose a channel. He opts for a shitty B film with monsters. The acting is so poor that you find yourself snorting.

Tyler makes you laugh too. He makes it a game to spot plot holes and inconsistencies. The one who finds the most will get to pick dessert.

He’s good company. When you find yourself starting to think too long on what happened, he makes a joke to get your attention back. Perhaps if you hadn’t fallen in love with Miguel, maybe the two of you could have been something. In another universe, maybe you do end up with Tyler.

Still, in this universe, your heart is still broken.

At some point, you win and you decide on a key lime pie in the fridge. Tyler brings out some wine and you settle down into the kitchen table.

“I didn’t want to pry, but are you feeling better?” He looks at you over the rim of his glass.

“Better than this afternoon,” you admit. It’s not completely a lie.

You needed this. Being able to spend time with a friend is a good distraction. Tyler is a good guy. He doesn’t pry anymore after that question.

Instead, the two of you talk about anything and everything. You feel at ease. He makes you laugh and smile quite a few times. By the time midnight comes around, you’re surprised that you lost track of time.

He stands up and decides to call a ride-share. You tell him not too. It’s too dangerous for him to be out at night. You offer him your bed and insist when he protests. You’ll take Gia’s bed. She always takes yours when she has family over at your apartment. You know she won’t have a problem if you take hers for a night.

The two of you go to bed in your own rooms. You find your thoughts drifting towards Miguel, but you shut them down. You really don’t want to think of him now. Not when he’s decided that he’s going to end things once and for all.

At some point you drift off to sleep. You don’t wake up until the next morning when someone knocks on your door.

Your room door is still shut, Tyler is sleeping in. You don’t even think before opening the door convinced that it’s Gia coming back. However, the person standing in the hallway makes you freeze.

It’s Miguel, not Gia, who stands there. He’s wearing civilian clothing and looks miserable. There’s exhaustion on every plane if his face like he hasn’t slept a wink thinking. You hesitate.

“Miguel?”

He hangs back taking you in. You must look like a mess in your pajamas. If you weren’t still half asleep, maybe you’d be embarrassed.

“Can I come in?” He calls your name softly and adds a ‘please’ when you don’t move an inch for the longest time.

You glance at your room door hoping Tyler is still asleep when you let him in.

The last time Miguel was here, you two slept together. It feels maddening to have him so close again.

“What do you need? Lyla didn’t call me.”

You try to keep your voice even, steady. It’s an attempt to hide the turmoil inside you. Miguel hesitates when he sees the two wine glasses on the table. You had left them out yesterday. Still, he opts not to ask about it.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Miguel admits, “I haven’t been fair.”

You remember his conversation with Peter. Is he here to end things once and for all? You wrap you arms around yourself to keep you steady.

“I’m sorry,” Miguel murmurs, “For everything. You didn’t deserve it. I took advantage.”

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do,” you shake your head, “It’s not taking advantage if you were honest from the beginning. I just got my hopes up.”

The words feel bitter in your tongue. You look down at the floor.

“But I wasn’t honest,” Miguel admits. It’s a quiet whisper that makes you look up. He looks like he’s struggling. He’s never been good at vocalizing his feelings or talking things out. This is a major effort for him, “I lied. I wasn’t being honest.”

He takes a step towards you and you stare blankly at him. You don’t want to get your hopes up.

He calls your name again. A plea.

“I wasn’t honest when I told you I didn’t want anything between us. I was being a coward. Peter B. poked his nose where he didn’t belong and talked some sense into me. Jess chewed me out too last night. They both made me realize how terrible I’ve been.”

So Jess had talked to him too. It was probably after you had left. Having been on the receiving end of her scolding before, you can imagine it was a harsh awakening for him. It must have been if he’s deviated from his initial plan with Peter.

You wait patiently as he gathers his thoughts. This is a huge effort for him, and you know it doesn’t come easy. Some hope rises in your chest.

“The truth is, I’ve been lying to the both of us for a long time. I-it isn’t just sex, alright? It was never just sex.”

He takes a step closer. You watch him closely. His eyes are open to you now. You can see the emotions there. The affection, the heartbreak, the yearning, the fear, the love. It makes your breath hitch.

“Miguel-“

He cuts you off gently. His hand goes for your cheek. He hesitates just briefly, his fear wanting him to bolt, but he fights it back. When his skin touches yours, a little spark has you both feeling dizzy.

“The truth is, I do want more. I’ve wanted more since you walked into HQ to begin with. I kept pushing you away because I was scared. I know you probably don’t want anything to do with me, I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to leave, but I want you to know the truth. I don’t want you to think it was something you did or that you were never good enough.”

Silence reigns between you both. Emotion chokes your words. He leans in briefly.

“I want this,” he breathes out, “You terrify me, this scares me, and I hate feeling this sense of panic, but I can’t stand it anymore. I don’t like seeing you cry or pushing you away.”

“I-“

The words die in your throat. You think about how you want to tell him that you love him, that you want this with him too, and that you’ve been waiting for this moment. This dream of yours has finally come true and you feel like you can finally breathe again. You want to pour everything you feel into your words so that he can understand everything you’ve gone through. You just don’t know how.

To his credit, he waits patiently. His eyes are warm when he looks at you. It’s the type of look he’s only given you before when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Your heart races in your chest.

Just when you think you’ve found the right words to respond-

The door opens behind you. A half asleep Tyler stumbles out still unaware of his surroundings.

The world stops.

You see the moment Miguel turns his head and spots him. He realizes he’s coming out of your room. Slowly, you see everything start to fall apart.

You want to beg him to listen, explain to him that it isn’t like this, and tell him that nothing happened. Yet he’s already moving away from you. His eyes cycle between betrayal, jealousy, heartbreak, and fury before he closes himself off. He takes a step back and an entire chasm opens up between the two of you. Whatever progres you two had just made is now gone.

Tyler blanches when he spots Miguel. You see the wheels churn in his head and he realizes what happened. What he’s just done unintentionally. The last of the sleep disappears from his system and is replaced by shock.

“Oh god, sorry,” Tyler blanks.

For a moment, you think you see Miguel tense. He’s like a coil waiting to spring. You suspect he’s getting ready to launch himself at Tyler. You take a step between them to try and stop him and try to explain-

It’s too late. Miguel reins in his self control and doesn’t strike. Instead, he straightens himself out and turns away.

“I didn’t realize you had company,” his voice is a deadpan growl much more terrifying than anything you’ve ever heard before. You move before you can think. Your hand snags his sleeve to try and explain what just happened-

He firmly tugs himself free of your grasp. His voice is cold, detached, and guarded when he answers back.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you two get back to it. This was a mistake I won’t make again.”

He storms out of your apartment with his entire body practically seething with anger. You try and follow only to see him disappear in the middle of the hallway. Lyla closes the portal before you can follow.

Tyler is incredibly apologetic when he leaves. He feels terrible he’s ruined things for you. You half heartedly tell him it’s not his fault. It’s all yours, really.

By the time he’s gone, you feel like someone has taken your heart and crushed it in the palm of their hand. You crawl back into Gia’s bed and sob until your head begins to pound. Everything feels ruined.

———————————————

Gia finds you there sometime in the morning. She smiles and opens her mouth to tease you about your date when she catches sight of your face. Immediately she pales and rushes forward.

“What’s wrong? Did Tyler hurt you?” Her hands come around you and she holds you tightly.

You shake your head.

“Then what happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she fusses over your tears. Her eyes are wide with surprise. You reckon you’re giving her a terrible fright.

In between sobs, the story pours out of you.

You tell her everything. How Miguel had come to tell you that he wanted a romantic relationship between you, how you had been about to tell him that you loved him too, and how Tyler had given him the wrong idea.

You’re practically shaking by the time you’re done. Gia presses her lips together and holds you closer.

Your heart has never broken quite like this before. It’s in millions of tiny pieces. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to pick them back up. Not with what happened.

Gia holds you until you’re done crying. She’s pensive as she stares out the window. Finally, she sighs.

“Call him.”

It’s such a deviation from her old advice that you blink at her. It pains her to say it out loud. She looks like she bit into a lemon when she does, but she powers through.

“Look, this guy got the wrong idea, right? Go see him and explain things. Don’t let him get away. It sounds like he genuinely cares for you.”

You wipe away at a tear on your cheek and glance at her.

“You hate him,” you mumble. Gia helps you clean up your face. Her hands are gentle.

“I hated him because I thought he was just a booty call leading you on. It sounds like he does love you back. You shouldn’t let him go after a misunderstanding, right? At least explain what happened to him and go from there,” she bites her cheek, “If you’ve been fighting for him all this time, what’s one more battle? Give it one last try.”

Her advice seems so simple. You sniff until some of your tears finally dry. Your head is pounding but it’s nothing compared to the agony that is in your chest.

Gia helps you dress and gives you breakfast. She wishes you well. When this is all over, whether it ends in tragedy or success, you’ll have to thank her. She’s put up with so much on your behalf.

You tell her you’re going to his apartment. Trepidation fills you as you round a corner. You call up Lyla on your watch.

When she greets you, her face is downtrodden. You miss her cheery and teasing personality.

“It’s not a good idea for you to head over there right now,” Lyla hesitates, “He’s in a mood. He’s been smashing things and throwing stuff in his office all morning.”

You wince wracked with guilt. You hurt him. Sure he probably deserved it after how badly he’s hurt you, but you still never meant to do that to him.

“Lyla, please let me in,” you beg.

Lyla looks away.

“He told me he didn’t want you anywhere near HQ for a few weeks. You’ve been put on leave.”

Panic grips you. You need to speak with him. You hold the watch up and beg.

“Lyla, please. Please let me make things right. He’s got the wrong idea.”

It takes some more begging. Lyla looks torn. She doesn’t want to anger Miguel further after this morning, but she also doesn’t want him to hurt himself on a misunderstanding. Finally, she wilts and opens a portal. You jump in before you have a chance to second guess yourself.

———————————————

Lyla had understated the sight of Miguel’s office. It’s a complete war zone. His monitors are smashed on the ground, his desk is half way across the room, and there’s broken glass everywhere. He’s destroyed everything in his wake. You wince as you step over broken wood and metal.

Jess has opened the door for you. She tells you to leave immediately if things get messy. Miguel really doesn’t want to see you right now. Lyla will be on standby ready to send you home or anywhere else if you ask her to.

You wave them both away as you search for Miguel. His elevator is on the ground which means he has to be somewhere on this floor.

After a while, you find him. He’s staring out the window and his entire back is rigid. He senses you before you have a chance to speak.

“Get out.”

It’s a harsh bark of an order that makes you wince. You stay rooted to the spot.

“Miguel-“

“Lyla, get her out.”

He taps on his watch and Lyla appears. She looks between the two of you before shaking her head.

“No can do. Jess has me working a different mission. Sorry, Miggy. Guess you’ll have to talk things out like adults.”

She winks out before Miguel can press her again. You hear the sound of anger he makes as she disappears. He still doesn’t turn around to look at you.

“I came to speak to you,” you hear yourself say. You’re surprised your voice sounds so calm. You certainly don’t feel okay. Your ears are roaring and your heart is going a million miles a minute.

“I don’t want to hear it. See yourself out.”

This time he does turn. His face is completely devoid of expression and he moves away from you.

You spin around to follow.

“What you saw isn’t what it looks like. Tyler and I are just friends.”

Miguel huffs something that sounds like a laugh. It sends shivers down your spine. He says Tyler’s name under his breath like a curse.

“It doesn’t matter,” he waves you away, “You and I are just coworkers. Nothing more.”

His words ache but you don’t let them land. You know the truth. He’s told you it just a few hours ago.

“Miguel, stop,” you come up behind him. He’s completely tense when you grab his hand to stop him.

“Enough,” he says your name with a warning, “Go home. There’s nothing more to say.”

You don’t budge. There’s a terrible voice inside your head that tells you that letting him go now would be a mistake. That if you don’t clarify things, you’ll lose him forever.

You try again.

“Nothing happened between us. I only care about you. Please look at me,” you plea. You try to sidestep him to put yourself in his direct field of vision.

He turns around.

“It wouldn’t matter if it had, you owe me no loyalty. We were never together,” he argues back. It sounds like he’s trying to convince himself of that. Perhaps he’s been turning those words over in his head all morning.

You won’t let him leave. He needs to know the truth. If he decides afterwords that he still doesn’t want you, fine. You’ll give up and resign from the agency. You’ll go back to your old life and force yourself to let him go, but he needs to know the truth at the very least.

“Nothing happened at all. We slept in separate beds. There is no one else but you,” you move forward, “I was going to tell you then that I do want you. That I’ve always wanted you.”

He still won’t look at you. You manage to stand in front of him and force him to see you. You want him to look and see the sincerity in your gaze. The love you hold for him burns bright when you meet his eyes.

Some of the tension from his body leaves. He sees that you mean every word. That if Tyler hadn’t interrupted, you would have told him you loved him then and there.

But he’s still afraid. He’s warring with himself over what to do. His instincts tell him to push you aside like he’s been doing. To save himself further pain by cutting you off once and for all. Another part of him is crying out for him not to. The part of himself he had bared for you this morning wants him to give in. To hear you out and be honest with himself.

You hope that other part of himself wins. You need that part of himself to win.

“Please believe me,” you whisper, “It’s only ever been you.”

His eyes close as your hands trace his face. You have to stand up on your tippy toes to reach him.

After a long pause, he sighs.

“Do you know how much it killed me to see him? To imagine him touching you? I almost killed him. The worst part was that I knew it was all my fault. That you owed me nothing and it wouldn’t have mattered if you had decided to move on because I pushed you away.”

“Do you know how much it killed me to be pushed away?” You murmur. It’s not a rebuke or retort. There’s no poison or malice behind your words, you just want him to understand that you’ve both been hurting.

He winces anyway. His eyes trace every inch of your face as if looking for something. You aren’t sure what he’s searching for, but you do know there’s more you haven’t said.

“I want to be with you. I’ve been fighting for you since the beginning. If you don’t want me, then tell me. Tell me once and for all, so that I can move on because I’ve been suffocating these past few days,” you slowly withdraw from him to give him space, “I love you, Miguel. But I can’t keep doing this. You’re breaking me.”

Silence descends in the room. Your heart beats wildly in your chest.

There. The ball is in his court now. He can either accept or reject you. Either way, this game between you will be over.

He’s quiet for so long that you suspect he’s made his choice. You try not to show how heartbroken you are when you take a step back. You’re about to apologize for wasting his time when he surges forward.

You don’t have time to react before he’s picking you up. His mouth crashes against yours and his kiss steals your breath away. He pours everything in it. His heartbreak, his longing, his love of you. It’s so powerful that you feel your self start to melt. You respond in kind kissing him back just as fiercely.

He holds you to him as if afraid that you’ll disappear if he lets you go. You two meet again and again. In between breaths, he pants your name. It isn’t until both of your mouths are bruised that you manage to come up for air.

He leans into you almost immediately after, kissing your throat and murmuring against your skin.

“I want you. I’ve wanted you since the beginning. I’m sorry,” he kisses your mouth gently in another apology, “I don’t deserve this.”

You cut him off before his thoughts can spiral again.

“I love you,” you repeat. His eyes close like he can barely believe it so you say it again. When he opens his eyes, you see the love for you in them. You’ve always known he loved you. Now, you finally have a confirmation.

“I love you too,” he responds. It takes your breath away. You’ve been waiting for a really long time to hear those words.

The next time you kiss, it’s less frenzied. This time, you both know you have time to pace things out. You’ll have all the time you need from now on. You’re both done pushing each other away and breaking your hearts.

His heart is racing against you and you feel your own beat against your ribcage. Still, you press forward. Declarations of love spill forth between heated kisses and nips. You’re drowning in each other.

For the first time in ages, things slowly start to fall into place. The darkness looming over you is gone replaced by a beautiful sunlight. You feel yourself smile into the kiss and he kisses you more softly as a result.

The two of you will have to talk at length more in the future. You’ll have to discuss what you being in an official relationship will mean in terms of your jobs and your different universes, but that’s all a problem for tomorrow. For now, you’re both content to be with each other and to celebrate the fact that you are now together.

The road ahead will not be easy. Nothing in life ever is. Yet you know you can both weather it if you fight for each other the way you’ve been fighting each other. There’s nothing the two of you can’t survive if you work hard.

Together.

[waywardsalt]

ok so if possible i would give each of the einherjars a personal skill based on what would either bolster their own performance or otherwise be helpful to the others, and slightly based on what ive perceived as their personalities.

ippei (samurai) - competitive

jitaro (archer) - pragmatic

minori (shrine maiden) - sisterhood

shinobu (spear fighter) - playthings

goro (ninja) - rallying cry

musashi (diviner) - triple threat

nanaki (oni savage) - fierce mien

konoe (sky knight) - in extremis

hachio (apothecary) - perspicacious

unil (mercenary) - perfectionist

dua (fighter) - fearsome blow

trim (troubadour) - rose’s thorns

quatro (cavalier) - healing descant

penvo (outlaw) - opportunist

xestu (dark mage) - highwayman

hepto (knight) - chivalry

octu (wyvern knight) - quiet strength

quick reasoning for each:

ippei is pretty good for a generic unit, but could always use the crit and attack/defense boost from this skill, and nearly all of the einherjars are paired up. ippei does come off as slightly competitive to me through his animations, and as he’s paired with unil, i see him as being the more lively of the two.

jitaro usually ended up as one of the better generics, and pragmatic works well enough with him as a bow-user, probably more likely to be picking off already-damaged units, and it could be helpful in finishing off units that would otherwise be harder to kill, like high-defense armor knights. jitaro gives focused hunter vibes, like he’s cool and confident, so a skill that makes him do more damage to injured targets feels just right; not to mention, it works well with a few passive damage-dealing skills that a few other generics get.

minori could always, always use some more damage, and would also benefit from this skill’s damage reduction. she’s a support unit first and foremost, and though likely quiet, greatly benefits from trim’s companionship in combat. are they dating? maybe. she probably prefers the company of women.

shinobu is another decent einherjar, partially because he has access to some good class skills; iirc, he’s a good damage-dealer by the end. plaything’s 5-damage penalty to adjacent enemies is simple and effective, and i think it fits in decently well with how the spear fighter and spear master animations seem to include flourishes; he’s dramatic and effective, probably handles crowd control well and knows it.

goro having rallying cry as a ninja is slightly unorthodox, but useful considering that he may likely be near other units, and it would work well in tandem with the debuffs inflicted by shurikens. he’s probably a bit loud for a ninja and cocky about his abilities, and fancies himself a bit of a leader, more than happy to improve morale and egg everyone else on.

musashi getting triple threat gives him a bit of an edge over melee fighters, he’s likely to be a bit more vulnerable to them and so having the triple threat retaliation could be a useful tool. musashi generally comes off as more… stuck up? especially with the diviner and onmyoji win animation, so a skill that is very similar to a counter or divine retribution fits well enough.

nanaki gets fierce mien because his accuracy is always hurting and he could really use the boost. it’s fitting, anyways, considering the masks he wears for his class options. it works well for a brute-force club-using fighter. he just really needs the accuracy boost.

konoe is alright as a sky fighter, especially since her high speed can make up for lackluster strength, and in extremis could work pretty well to bolster that damage with a higher crit rate, plus sky fighters can be a bit fragile, so it’s probably not a stretch for her to drop into that 25% or less range.

hachio is the only einherjar without a pair-up buddy (he has no clear nohr parallel, i’m not sticking him with octu, and he’s one of the best generics anyways), so the way perspicacious has an effect on every deployed ally works extremely well for this. every single generic tends to struggle with accuracy, so that skill’s little hit rate boost is needed. hachio fits well in a support role, and as he’s the odd one out, he’s a bit of a defacto leader and strategist.

unil with perfectionist is based less on him struggling with accuracy, and more on his chance for self-healing with the sol skill, so it’ll keep him at max hp for longer and make him just a bit more effective. he comes off as much more serious than ippei, and perfectionist furthers that idea as he works best at peak condition and takes his work seriously.

dua gets the trademark fighter high strength, so why not lean into him as a hard-hitter and give him fearsome blow’s effect to make his ability to kill enemies all the more useful? he’s a very hard-hitting unit and likely an imposing figure, so nearby enemies taking damage when he kills an enemy gives the impression that he’s a bit of a force of nature in battle. it actually mixes pretty with with jitaro’s pragmatic.

trim is a solid unit with surprisingly good offense, as strategists usually turn out, so rose’s thorns’ boost to nearby allies’ attack and defense slots in nicely with her as a support-based class with a good range of movement. she’s probably a bit cold and firm in her support, so a more offense-based passive boost skill works, so she offers healing and a damage boost.

quatro has little need for a boost to his own skills, especially with the paladin’s defender skill, so he’s a good unit to give healing descant, especially since he’s got high movement as a mounted unit. taking into account his class animations, quatro comes off as a little gentler and especially caring of his horse, and might actually have a bit of a soothing and reassuring presence- also backed up by the defender skill- so a passive heal is useful and fitting.

penovo is basically the perfect unit for opportunist, both due to the nature of his class and due to the fact that he tends to struggle the most to do damage. he’s a thief unit who picks off enemies from a distance, of course he’s going to put more strength into it when he’s not in danger. it also adds to the idea that he’s sneaking up on enemies or catching them unawares when he attacks and they can’t counterattack.

xestu with highwayman is another unit who matches well with an underhanded personal skill, and the strength and speed debuff benefits him greatly as a slower unit with less defense. he’s not dying for attack power the way penovo is, and this skill even gives the impression that he curses enemies who can’t counterattack. he’s a dark mage, of course he’s going to take any advantage he can get.

hepto only really needs chivalry’s damage boost because he never doubles, and it fits him very well as a general since he is likely to be on the front lines and approached by uninjured enemies, so this skill’s attack and defense boost against enemies with full hp is a good little advantage. he’s visually the oldest einherjar, so i feel like chivalry is a skill that fits him well in that regard, and he comes off a bit as experienced enough to respect and not take lightly enemies who are at their peak.

finally, octu with quiet strength is an interesting skill for an offense-focused wyvern knight, but a defensive skill that benefits from his high movement and status as a flying unit. since his face is covered in his portrait and he appears affectionate to his wyvern, he comes off as a bit quiet and gentle outside of battle, and him having a skill to negate a little bit of damage feels just right.

im still thinking abt that generics-based fire emblems fates revelations thing i want to do with each of the generics getting personal skills and the aptitude skill. maybe i’ll make a list of what personal skill i’d give each generic

[thatsdemko]

you belong with me - l.hamilton

t- swift inspired works masterlist

full masterlist & part two full masterlist

requested: n

pairings: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader

warnings: hints of jealousy

a/n: I SEE TAYLOR SWIFT TODAY!!! so in typical fashion, here’s a Taylor swift inspired work!

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

Lewis Hamilton is known for his infamous amounts of connections. from the Latina pop singer shakira all the way to lebron james; Lewis Hamilton has connections and it’s no surprise to you that he’d date someone famous.

you expected it this whole, having grown up with him you know him from his favorite songs, to the wild dreams he’s had as a kid. he didn’t tell this stuff to just anyone, only his best friend. and that’s all you’ve ever known yourself to be.

Lewis Hamiltons best friend.

the girl on the phone that’s got him upset doesn’t know that he can’t live without looking at photo of Roscoe before bed. she doesn’t know he’s accidentally called your mom his mother. and she most certainly does not know that you dream of being his. you keep that to yourself.

it’s almost slipped. constructors cups, world championships, or pole positions. they’ve all almost led to those words sneaking out your lips.

you were so sure he didn’t feel the same way. he didn’t look at you like he did with Versace models or when dua lipa asked him for photo. you politely stand to the side with a smile on your face as the cameras flash into his sunglasses. why can’t that be you by his side? why cant you just toughen up and tell him?

oh that’s right, because he’s in love with another girl.

—

“hey, sorry about last night. I really let that argument get out of control.” he plops down on the patio furniture. he places a friendly pat against your thigh before quickly pulling his hands into his lap, “we worked things out now, she’s coming in tomorrow.”

“for the race?” you ask beginning to fiddle with the cap on your water bottle. you weren’t opposed to his new girlfriend joining you in the paddock, but you certainly wouldn’t be joining her in the garage. not with the way she made him feel yesterday.

he nods wrapping his arm around the back of the cushions, pulling himself closer to you, “I think you guys will get along. will you promise to be nice to her?”

“lew, of course I will.”

he laughs, “and don’t call me that in front of her. I’m really trying to impress, I think she could be the one.” his elbow nudges your arm, jokingly. he always loves the nicknames, especially since that one was from childhood when the letter ‘s’ was hard for you.

“I’ll call you whatever I want to.” you let out a hmph as you lean further against the cushions, slightly into his arms trying to pass on the hint. you’re sure he doesn’t notice it, he hasn’t for all these years what will change?

—

she shows up decked in Gucci and Louis Vuitton, things you could never afford. you feel small and out of place beside her, in your jean shorts and one of Lewis’ old Mercedes t-shirts. your personalities are so different, and maybe she was more fit for him. after all, they did meet at a fashion show and you met him on the playground kicking up dirt.

“good luck!” she calls out from beside you, arm waving in the air trying to catch his attention, but it’s useless. he’s too zoned in to pay attention, the race is the only thing that matters to him in this moment.

the only person he locks eyes with, is you. it’s usually right before he slides the visor down and he always does it. you never miss a race, which means he never gets superstitious, but today you’re not there. your placement is somebody else— a nobody to be precise, someone who will mess up his game.

If you could see that I'm the one

Who understands you

Been here all along

that’s what in it really does hit him. that he could have any girl or person in his garage, but the one person that matters is you. the one person he cares about isn’t standing there like you’re supposed to be.

so when he crosses that finish line in third place, he doesn’t celebrate the top ten win with her, he goes to find you. the person who he belongs with.

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor

All this time how could you not know, baby?

You belong with me

You belong with me

[srbachchan]

DAY 5938

Jalsa, Mumbai May 21, 2024 Tue 11:18 PM

🪔 ,

May 22 .. birthday greetings to Ef Lily Pitts .. Ef Sugam Dua .. and Ef Rajesh Rathod from UK 🇬🇧 .. 🚩🙏🏻❤️

May 20 .. belated birthday greetings to Ef Hassan Ali from Egypt 🇪🇬 .. 🙏🏻🚩❤️

And .. yes the birthday of Ef Aish is on May 24 .. corrected .. confirmed .. love .. ❤️

I have started the writing but am just going to another work issue and shall be back in a short while ..

So stay .. 🙏

AB

Back at 12:04 .. but shall keep it as the 21st of 11 od pm ..

So there shall be disappointments , but most of them do resolve for the better some day .. many a times the disappointments are born by the disappointment seen on another of the same issue ..

You may have reconciled or had to bear the wrong, or missed, or the incomplete, or that which did not go as per the expectation .. but the moment you observe another expressing disappointment , your own increases ..

Strange .. but true ..

Particularly if the person seen is looked upon affectionately and with sincere feel ..

On the stadium of the cricket game or any game the looks of failure and disappointments are immense .. but when you observe the effect it has had on the others , somehow it gets greater ..

Wonder ..?

Is it because you found a sympathiser .. ?

Quite possible .. life looks for that sympathiser , the one that feels and thinks like you .. they immediately become your close .. its a transfer of emotion to the other .. suddenly from being alone , you found a companion that addresses you loneliness with a nod of appreciation and acceptance ..

Acceptance is the key ..

In all walks of life ..

Accept my look .. my gait .. my clothes .. my family .. my work .. my social status .. my car .. my worn out jeans .. my unwashed T .. my devil may care attitude .. my less that modest home .. my non riches .. my ordinariness .. my no one knows you attitude .. my unable to buy that box of pencils or shoes .. my street lamp education .. my pointed wrongs of society .. my undistinguished speaking accent .. my unaffordable auto travel .. my location of my stay and living .. my unrelenting disregard of my standing .. my uncultured habits .. my unwanted creativity, and its unwanted understandability .. my unwanted lack of knowledge about what is culture , and uncultured ..

I am unwanted now .. I know .. so my unwanted GN 😴

Amitabh Bachchan

[callahanisms]

pink ensembles

pairing: miguel o’hara x gender neutral! reader

word count: 994 words

ao3 link: 💗💗💗

summary: the spider society is holding a very special barbie disco party!! miguel doesn’t have an appropriate outfit. thankfully, you have the perfect solution for your partner. and you’re awesome at dressing people!

for vibes: “dance the night” by dua lipa

notes: there are no detailed descriptions about the ensemble reader is wearing. it’s just something that’s all pink! anyways who’s excited for the barbie movie? i’m seeing it over oppenheimer.

“Wait, you’re not coming?”

“Well I didn’t say that. I said I wouldn’t dress up.”

“That’s as bad as saying you’re not coming! If you’re not going to dress up, why come at all!”

“(Y/N), that’s literally not what I meant.” The man was trying to enjoy his lunch in peace. “If I don’t come, it looks pretty bad. Especially as the person who founded the Spider Society.”

“And I just believe you should look the part.”

Miguel sets his arepa down. “I don’t think you get it. I’m not dressing up because my wardrobe...” He sighs. “You’ve literally been in my wardrobe. You steal my clothes all the time.”

It finally hit you. “Oh. I see. It’s because you lack color in your wardrobe. That’s not a problem!”

“What...What do you mean? I literally don’t have the clothes for it.”

“And I do! I think I have the perfect outfit too. Come on! We’re going back to my place!”

Miguel rushed to finish his lunch and even took the last remaining arepa with him. He’d rather die than let a good arepa go to waste (also because wasting food was something he was taught not to do). The two of you made it back to your place where you revealed your closet. It was definitely a closet from a Barbie dreamhouse playset. Your closet was even color coded and was very satisfying to look at. There were even shades of colors he didn’t think existed. You were going through your pink section, putting different shades of pink against his arm and even looking at the veins of his hand. “Perfect! The ensemble I have in mind is the right pink!” You were giddy about this and pulled out the set.

He wasn’t phased by the outfit but rather that you seemed to have it in his size. “How long have you had this?” He asks.

“For a while. I bought it in hopes of us doing matching outfits one day.”

“How did you get my size?”

“Lyla helped.”

He’s not the slightest bit annoyed. Instead, a small smile crosses his face and he walks over to you, giving you a gentle kiss on your lips. You kiss back and take in his presence. It was always nice to just be with him. “I’ll put this on.”

When Miguel comes out, you almost fell over. Because your partner was just...hot. So, so, so, so hot. The sleeveless top allowed you to see every single fiber of muscle as he moved his arms. His pecs were popping out from the neckline. The flared pants hugged his waist nicely, rising quite high, and framing his butt better than his Spider-suit. The white cowboy hat really topped everything off. But despite the beauty that was your partner in this outfit, you still felt he was missing something. Maybe something around his neck? That would be quite hot. “I look like a vaquero. Except without the equipment.” He says.

“I mean, it is Western inspired. And it was vaqueros that were the base for the Western cowboy.”

“We definitely did it better.” He takes a spin, watching the way the bottom of his pants flared out.

“You have white boots?”

“They’re the most colorful thing in my closet.”

“Great! They’ll go with the outfit. Now, you’re missing something.”

“Am I? I think it looks great.”

“You just need one more bit of pizzazz!” You rub your chin for a bit. “Lyla!”

“Here!” The AI appears besides Miguel’s shoulder. “I knew he would look good.”

“Lyla, do you think you can find the star patterned pink bandana?”

“Oh.” She winces. “It’s not here on this Earth. But it is available in these Earths and at these storefronts, from what I can gather.” Lyla expands the map of the multiverse.

“Well, we can start there. I’ll be back soon Miguel.”

Miguel was...very surprised to see you come back with a ton of scratches and bruises. But you were beaming brightly and judging by the bag in your hand, you had succeeded in your mission. He should’ve figured that you were willing to fight tooth and nail for the last fashion accessory for your partner. After all, what was better than getting to dress him up? “Geez! What happened (Y/N)!” Lyla cleans her glasses to make sure it wasn’t dirt blocking her vision.

“I fought people for it. Turns out everywhere in the multiverse is looking for this? It’s the biggest multiversal fashion trend.” You pull the box out and toss the bag, before removing the top of the box. “It’s like fresh!” You approach your partner with the bandana and he lets you tie it around his neck. When you step back, you feel your eyes water. “It’s perfect!”

“Awww. Should let (Y/N) dress you up more. They know what they’re doing.” Lyla looks at her watch. “Got to go. I’ll catch you two at the party!” The AI disappears.

“Okay now I have to get ready!”

“Take your time cariño.” His voice just purred softly. And you needed to prevent yourself from just melting at the way he spoke to you.

When you came out, your scratches and bruises were gone (mostly). And you had dressed up in your cutest pink ensemble. You looked like a Barbie doll! And honestly, Miguel was feeling like he was just a Ken. He looked nowhere near as good. “I like what you did beneath your eyes.” You had put small stones to complete your makeup look.

“Thank you! I’m happy you like it.”

“I always like what you do.”

“You’re going to make me collapse from how cheesy you are.”

“I’ll just catch you.” Miguel pulls you close to him and presses a gentle kiss on your cheek. He’s careful not to ruin the makeup.

“Shall we get going?”

“I don’t know. How about we just stay here for a little longer? No one arrives to a party on time anyways.”

[eternal-ascensionism]

Song Fic maybe???

Hii! I have a request for you, its a Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader idea with the song "Love Again" by Dua Lipa. Where maybe reader has been through some tough/ toxic relationships and swears off of romance once they joined the avengers but then when Bucky returns from Wakanda the reader begins to develope a crush on Bucky as he flirts with them after having a crush on her from the moment he met them. Maybe the reader thoughts align with the lyrics of the song and in the end the reader lets their heart open and starts dating Bucky after he knocks down all of thier walls :) (Also reader can be female or GN and I tried to give you some like guide but didn't want to restrict you!) Hope you have a good day :D

Ok first anon I love you sm for puttin me on this song it BANGS and I love this idea sm!!!

This is technically more like avengers assistant!reader because I suck at finding cohesive ways to fit an original character into the avengers team ((I have tried since I was 16 LMAO)) but hopefully it still works! Hope you enjoy!

Heaven’s Right Here, Baby 

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Themes: Angst, comfort, fluff

Warnings:Angst; discussions of: war, PTSD, abusive relationships, trauma bonding, etc. (if you pick up on any I’ve missed pleeease let me know!!)

💗

I glance upward as I hear the rumble above, eyes squinting against the sun’s rays. For some unknown reason, I’d been expecting some grand aircraft; a sleek jet or maybe one of the large helicarriers I’d seen in the hangar back at the Avengers’ HQ when I first arrived. What I was met with was a rather modest plane I’d estimate could fit ten passengers at best. It didn’t really matter, I knew the man aboard couldn’t care less about materialism or prestige. Still, he was one of our team’s brightest and most respected members. It simply felt odd to receive him back via such underwhelming conditions. 

Up until this point, I’d only ever worked basic civilian jobs or the occasional temp gig. However after a particularly traumatic breakup, I’d decided that being miserable and barely living above the poverty line wasn’t cutting it anymore. It took a good few years and a considerable amount of ass kissing, but I eventually got offered a role as an assistant of sorts for Nick Fury in New York City.

Natasha was the first person I’d found myself bonding with; the first night I’d spent in the tower was a long one, and she had spent a large chunk of it comforting me by making me laugh with her Captain America impression. Funnily enough, I’d meet Steve Rogers the next morning in the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen and shook my hand, exchanging names and pleasantries with me as the rest of the team filtered in. I watched anxiously as they all began to dig into the food; I couldn’t pinpoint why, but I found myself desperate to impress each of my new coworkers.

Introductions were made, meals were finished, and I beamed at the compliments toward my cooking. To my surprise the conversations seemed to flow naturally. I couldn’t help but linger on one man in particular, though. His metal arm gleamed brilliantly in the lighting of the spacious dining area. He was a man of few words. Bucky, they called him. The next month consisted of me making a fool of myself through several missions, distracted each time by that smolder and the tortured look behind his eyes. It was a look I knew all too well. Still, I didn’t dare approach sergeant Barnes out of fear. Whether it be fear of authority or my lingering fear of men, I wasn’t sure. Didn’t make much difference; the less interactions, the better. The last thing I needed was to get in over my head during what’s meant to be my fresh start.

Today was his return from the last stage of a program for training and rehab that began long before I came into the picture. From what I understood, it all began a few years back when the late King T’Challa harbored Bucky; partly as a favor to Steve, and partly out of respect for the sergeant. He saw James Buchanan Barnes beyond the outgrown hair and the guarded demeanor. He saw someone worth fighting to save. By the time I’d arrived, his reserved nature had let up a bit. We both exhibit similar acts such as hypervigilance, but I suppose that’ll always remain in some small way. We’re part of the team tasked with ensuring the safety of earth, after all.

I wave a hand to Bucky as he steps off the walkway, a bag slung over his shoulder. When he sees me and the team, he shoots us a small grin. It wasn’t until he made it halfway across the asphalt that I registered the changes of his left arm. The once scuffed and faded titanium had been replaced with a new, higher quality gold and silver prosthetic.

“Vibranium,” Bucky offers, having picked up on my stare. “Shuri helped me.”

I felt a pang in my chest as he looked at it proudly. It was the same ache I’d gotten every time I’d bore witness to sergeant Barnes letting pieces of his real self shine through. I could try and lie to myself, but I’m grown. I know what it means to have feelings for someone. As much as I’d fought to stay neutral from the beginning, something about Bucky had always pulled at my heart. I would never let him know, but he’d melted some part of me that I’d spent years freezing out. Still, I’d vowed to keep to the professional relationship I’ve created with the former soldier. I couldn’t risk letting something like random feelings of fondness jeopardize my job. I am here to help others and to run away from my demons, nothing more and nothing less.

-

“I never thought that I would find a way out, I never thought I’d hear my heart beat so loud. I can’t believe there’s something left in my chest anymore”

-

Upon our entry to the tower, we were met by the quiet humming of music. Puzzled, we all made our way to the lounge area where we found Tony behind the bar in the corner. He raised a glass of amber-colored liquid in our direction as a greeting. “Welcome back, Barnes. Dig the new scrap pieces.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and pointed to the speakers built into the tall ceiling overhead. “Thanks. What’s with the music?” Swinging around the bar to stand in front of us, Tony smirked.

“What? Can’t we have a little homecoming celebration? We missed you, bud.” Before he could reply, Natasha interjected, grabbing Tony’s free hand.

“In that case, let’s dance. You’ve only got six months before your wedding and Pepper is gonna kill you if you step on her white heels.”

I watch in glee as Nat drags Tony away to the open space near the couch to practice his moves for the big day. Everyone branched off into pairs, leaving me standing at the bar with a can of soda while Bucky perched on the arm of the recliner. These little moments of joy made being alive less painful each day. I continued observing my teammates for a while before hearing someone clear their throat from beside me. “Wanna dance, doll?”

The low timbre gave him away without so much as a sideways glance. It was sergeant Barnes. Asking me to dance. With him. Ignoring the cold sensation shooting through my veins, I threw him a smile and nodded. Offering me a hand, we make our way over to the spot where the others are swaying to the crooning of an early 1900s love song. With the way Bucky and Steve perked up as it came on, I’d be willing to bet they were grooving to it back in the days of its first release. The thought warms my heart, and I risk placing my head on Bucky’s shoulder as we let the music guide us. Maybe trusting him for one dance wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it’s okay to let my guard down just this once.

-

“I never knew I had it in me to dance anymore, but god damn, you’ve got me in love again.”

-

Love. That’s what it was. I hated to admit it to myself, it scared me to the point of lost sleep and vomiting, quite frankly. But I couldn’t bear pretending any more. Bucky had been back in New York for all of two weeks before we started being sent on missions together to gather intel on a potential threat. I didn’t know the details, they only ever told me what was absolutely necessary to carry out a job. They explained it was so that if I were to be caught, I could play dumb as a simple civilian caught up in bigger matters on accident. You never know what tactics someone may have to pull the truth from you, but there’s nothing to be extracted if I truly know nothing. However, at the current moment, I wished for little more than to be pulled from this room and dragged elsewhere. I tear my eyes from my debrief notes to stare back at the disheveled man sat across from me. I had yet to fully process what he asked.

“What?” His frown deepens, and I almost regret asking him to repeat himself.

“Do you think I’m someone you could love?”

I was completely taken aback. Sure, the sergeant and I had some pretty deep conversations in the past. We weren’t incredibly close before his return, both of us being highly traumatized and reserved people; but pair long missions with hours spent staring off into the night watching for movement and we had begun to fill the void. He relayed stories of war and torture, and I recounted memories of toxic relationships and a traumatic childhood. It only seemed natural that we eventually progressed into becoming each other’s confidant over the last few months. When we accepted the latest task I expected us to exchange banter, maybe make up some new inside jokes. I didn’t expect it to devolve into a raw and emotional conversation about our past hurts and shortcomings. Bucky had opened up about the women he’d met before the war, branching off into a story where he’d tried to make something work with a woman he’d met briefly in Romania before he’d had to go back on the run. I could see the pain in his expression, I could hear the slight waver in his voice as he tried making sense of where he’d gone wrong in life to deserve it all.

Then he looked up at me, those big grey-blue eyes shining with unshed tears, and he asked me the one question that I know will change everything. Is he someone I could love? When he asked, I realized I already know the answer. I already know I love him.

“Yes.” He blinks at me, seemingly in shock, but I just continue. “I don’t have to think about it, Buck. I love you because you are worthy of being loved. I love you because you are inherently lovable. I love how you care about people, I love how you fight fiercely to protect them. I love how intelligent you are, and how you never use that against others. I love how you make me feel safe. I love how you’ve never given me a reason to question your motives like all the other men I’ve let into my life. I love you, and I didn’t even think I could love again.” I dabbed my sleeve over the wetness pooling under my eyes, chuckling at my own intense reaction. Discussing my feelings was never easy, but it just came naturally with Bucky.

Two hands came up to hold my cheeks as Bucky looked at my face, perhaps studying me for any sign of deceit or sarcasm. I meant every word, though. He wrapped me up in a tight hug, and after he pulled back, I felt a sudden confidence. I leaned in and pressed a soft peck to his stubble-covered cheek, delighting in the light red tint that washed over his face.

“I love you too, doll. I didn’t wanna scare you away, you mean the world to me. Just didn’t imagine you’d feel the same. Not that I’d blame you, with what you’ve told me about the others I wouldn’t blame ya if you never spoke to a man again.” Bucky laid a gentle kiss to the back of my hand that still rested in his. “Honored to be the one you trust.”

“Never have I ever met somebody like you, used to be afraid of love and what it might do. But god damn, you’ve got me in love again”

—!—

HELLO I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS WHAT YOU WANTED! I’m sorry it took me so long to finish I kept branching off with different ideas before settling on one cohesive concept and hopefully I did a decent job following your prompt! Thank you sooo much for the request this was super fun to write and honestly kickstarted my productivity which has been in the shitter since like pre 2020 lmao bless you guys <333

[heechwe]

𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐰𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 '𝟐𝟒

It has been a crazy year, folks! I got back into writing, rejoined kpopblr and fanficblr, and have made so many amazing friends and read a ton of incredible fanfiction. I have not only been welcomed strongly by my new friends, but also new people following me who are excited to see what else I bring to the table.

I am so grateful for every single one of you on this journey with me. I still think I have a long way to go, and this is just the beginning. Thank you for being on this ride, and I only hope to grow further and go farther in 2025. Next year truly feels like it's going to be one for the books—let's make it an awesome one.

౨ৎ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬 ౨ৎ

number of fics posted: ngl stopped counting after 19 (excluding drabbles and short form content) but i put in work this year fvjndjkf

number of fics in progress: 30-40 i did not count ferjkfgedj

౨ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ౨ৎ

but daddy i love him — 1st place, 2627 notes

posted: oct. 14

pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader (enhypen)

favorite comment: fic so good i thought i fr married jaeyun😭 - @sleepy-yn

so high school — 2nd place, 2131 notes

posted: sept. 23

pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader (enhypen)

favorite comment: THIS SHIT HAD ME TWEAKING SO BAD IN OUR DISCORD CHAT - @loserlvrss

lost in wonderland — 3rd place, 804 notes

posted: nov. 14

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader (enhypen)

favorite comment: Honestly, this will be one of my "read again and again and again" fics. - @pars-ley

౨ৎ 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 & 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ౨ৎ

𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕 — lost in wonderland (12k)

posted: nov. 14

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader (enhypen)

𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕 — beam me up (as a new moa i think i killed this)

posted: dec. 21

pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader (tomorrow x together)

౨ৎ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ౨ৎ

miss americana — legit don't want to change anything about this one

posted: sept. 28

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader (enhypen)

I think this fic is everything I want to encapsulate as a writer: characters with the ability to grow, a romance that may bend but not break under circumstances, and also just a portrayal that is authentic to real life. Yes, it's a basketball story but I truly love this idea and the execution of it. The only thing I wish is that I had made it a tad longer in one scene specifically. But other than that, I think this one edged out "Lost in Wonderland" by a smidge because I truly love how the beginning until the ending flows so well. And it's hard for me to give myself compliments okay so let me have this djnfkjd.

౨ৎ 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ౨ৎ

I have so many but I'm gonna try and whittle it down to ten fjnvjg (moot or not so many people came out with incredible fiction this year and I tip my hat to y'all because every single person on this list has my upmost respect and gratitude for these gems). they're in no particular order btw!

fast forward by @asahicore — park jeongsong / enha

all the things i never said by @stllmnstr — lee heeseung / enha

that's me, baby by @yvnempire — lee heeseung / enha

flamin' hot lemon by @yzzyhee — lee heeseung / enha

the lighthouse by @jjunieworld — park sunghoon / enha

oops, juno? by @moonheecore — sim jaeyun / enha

liquid sweetener by @intromortal — sim jaeyun / enha

meddle about by @bratzkoo — hansol vernon chwe / seventeen

giftwrapping by @hyukascampfire — choi soobin / txt

office hours by @hyukalyptus — choi soobin / txt

౨ৎ 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ౨ৎ

yes, and? — ariana grande

miracle — boys like girls

hiss — megan thee stallion

fortnight — taylor swift

good luck, babe! — chappell roan

down bad — taylor swift

femininomenon — chappell roan

BOA — megan thee stallion

training season — dua lipa

౨ৎ 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 ౨ৎ

finishing all the series i set up but never planned to complete apparently (dream daddy and all in the craft have entered the chat fdjnvrfkjg)

read 52 books (i slacked and only did 20 this year ugh)

try to write a 100 words at least once a day (get my creativity flowing ya know?)

read more work and create some new stuff for the groups i've recently gotten into (ateez specifically hehe)

Thank you to Raven @shadowkoo for tagging me in this, this was so fun to look back on my year on Tumblr even though I came like more than halfway into the year again in 3-4 years jfnerg nevertheless I'm so excited for 2025! Check out Raven's post here.

Tagging anyone who wants to join, who I've mentioned above if they want to do this as well as my other pals: @sungbeams @jayparked @babeyun @haologram @seokgyuu @yvnempire @heesuncore @p4ranormaluv @hyukascampfire @loserlvrss @hursheys @senascoop @intromortal

[sukisheadlights]

MAKE ME STAY!

landonorris x famous!oc

summary: where she sends the Internet into a slow spiral after releasing a song out of the blue (except it’s not out of the blue, it’s papaya)

part 1: make me stay, series masterlist

faceclaim: dua lipa 🫶

rory’s voice mail 🎧: PART 1! hope you guys like this, it’s obviously going to be a slow burn but I’m really excited to write it for y’all <3 ALSO the first two chapters are gonna be a little slow to set up the story and a strong base for it 😚 LOVE YOU SAY IT BACK

@TMZ • 2 hours ago

Exclusive: F1 phenom Lando Norris spotted leaving Las Vegas after-party with a mysterious redhead!

Rumors are swirling that F1 racing superstar Lando Norris may have found a new love interest in Las Vegas!

The 22-year-old McLaren driver was spotted leaving the after-party of the FIA Formula 1 Las Vegas Grand Prix with a gorgeous gal on his arm.

Our source spotted Lando and the mystery woman leaving together and said the pair appeared to be "flirty", as Lando "wrapped his arm around her" and they "walked off into the night."

@THEHOLLYWOODFIX • 2 hours ago

It looks like F1 driver Lando Norris is getting back into his dating game!

After breaking up with his long-term girlfriend last year, our favorite driver was seen leaving the Formula 1 Las Vegas after party with a mysterious red-haired woman dressed in a form-fitting black leather dress.

We're not sure if this is just a one night stand, or if Lando has his sights set on someone new. Either way, we wouldn't blame him - the Formula 1 Las Vegas parties are known for being a hot spot for celebrities and models alike!

liked by paisleysterling, zendaya, and 8,75,784,894 others

lizcolton miss me?

paisleysterling no girl gtfo of my house 🙄

lizcolton stfu you love me

paisleysterling god I hate you

lizownsme UH YES?!!?! THE RED HAIRR???? ITS GIVING NEW ERA 🫣

user654 the world is NOT READY for whatever lizzy is cooking rn

user849 literally buy me

taylorswift stunning as always!! ❤️

tittieswhere BOTH MY MOTHERS ARE HERE OMFGGG TAYLOR GET HER TO OPEN FOR YOU

lewishamilton pic creds to me, btw.

lizcolton he took the pictures, or whatever 🙄

user4 EXCUSE ME WTAF ARE YOU DOING HERE

user9 @user4 it’s giving “excuse me what the actual fuck are you doing in my house—”

isoldmysoultof1 WHAT WHAT WHAAAT

isoldmysoultof1 @f1wags NEW F1 WAG POSSIBLY?!!?!!

@TMZ • 45 mins ago

Pop Sensation Liz Colton is Back!

Liz, who's long been hailed as a retro-pop phenomenon and one of the biggest social media stars, has just announced her return to the spotlight after a two-year break! Liz had been absent from public life following her rough breakup with actor Jacob Elordi.

Now, the queen of pop has set the Internet ablaze with a photo of herself sporting a sleek new red do and rocking an all-leather look, accompanied by the caption 'miss me?' Fans are abuzz!

In addition, Colton has been recently spotted interacting comfortably with Formula One superstar Lewis Hamilton in her social media comment sections! Hamilton, who is a known celebrity himself, has even asked Colton to give more picture credits, making fans hope that she's ready to expand her network and step into the world of Formula 1.

Could this mean the start of a whole new era for Liz?

liked by paiselysterling, sabrinacarpenter, and 9,34,748,830 others

lizcolton the face of a person keeping secrets 🤐

comments disabled.

@TMZ • 1 min ago

BREAKING NEWS!

It looks like Jacob Elordi, the "Euphoria" heartthrob who recently broke up with longtime girlfriend Liz Colton, was caught in a compromising position.

Just months after Liz and Jacob decided to split, details have emerged that the Australian actor cheated on his girlfriend multiple times. While neither Liz nor Jacob have commented publicly on the situation, fans have been quick to blast the actor for his apparent indiscretions.

With a successful career and multiple projects in the works, it looks like Jacob's reputation is about to take a dip.

liked by alexademie, sydneysweeney, and 8,59,499,484 others

lizcolton kisses to my exes, out 8pm tonight 💋

paisleysterling ATE

paisleysterling first picture’s for someone special?? I KNOW YOU BITCH

liked by lizcolton

lizcoltonsslave MOTHER ISNT SINGLE ANYMORE!?

lizcolton @lizcoltonsslave single as HELL baby!! Y’all haven’t lost me yet dw 😚

lizcoltonsslave @lizcolton bye I’m about to go die in a hole now

lewishamilton roscoe is ready to stream

lizcolton @lewishamilton thanks ig 🤨

wagintraining @lewishamilton LEWIS LIZ OMG LIZ ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THE DRIVERS!?

lizcolton @wagintraining no comments

coltonhq headphones are ready!! 🎧🤍

lizcolton @coltonhq love u admin 😭💋

lizismother18 oh this is gonna EAT

[speed-drive]

2024 Top 8 F1 Drivers//2024 Albums

Max Verstappen- ‘brat’ by Charli xcx

There was no other choice. Max is brat. From the team radios to the swearing fiasco to Interlagos (even the baby announcement!), he has truly embodied every aspect of this album this year. Also ‘Von dutch’ and ‘Spring breakers’ are literally his anthems. Don’t sleep, don’t eat, just do it on repeat indeed.

Lando Norris- ‘Short n’ Sweet’ by Sabrina Carpenter

A breakthrough years in the making. This year, Lando really cemented himself as one to watch and delivered some great results. Plus, I find Sabrina and Lando to have the same charming, cheeky personality so it’s fitting. ‘Come right on me, camaraderie’ from ‘Bed Chem’ sounds like a joke Lando would make lmao.

Charles Leclerc- ‘All Born Screaming’ by St. Vincent

I feel like I always associate Charles with angsty projects but I can’t help it. Just the whole idea of the album about finding joy in pain just screams Charles. And him narrowly missing out on P2 in the championship just nailed it for me. ‘Broken Man’ could be the soundtrack playing over that picture of him chugging water against the wall in Abu Dhabi.

Oscar Piastri- ‘Big Ideas’ by Remi Wolf

A fantastic sophomore album for a fantastic sophomore year in F1. One thing that really sticks out to me about this album is how confident in itself it is, which I believe something Oscar is too. Just exciting to witness. Plus ‘Kangaroo’ reminds me a bit of him, so. Can’t wait to see what both of them do next.

Carlos Sainz- ‘What Now’ by Brittany Howard

This is a bit of a wildcard, but I do feel like it fits. It was Carlos’ last year with Ferrari, I can’t help but feel like it must have been a conflicting experience for him. There’s themes of letting go and learning how to move on running throughout the album that I really love. The track ‘What Now’ has big Carlos energy, I can’t explain it.

George Russell- ‘Manning Fireworks’ by MJ Lenderman

George had a really solid year, very consistent throughout. This album is similar, just 10 straight solid tracks with great production and songwriting. I feel like it’s also been a bit underrated especially in a year with such great music, even though it’s been hailed as one of the year’s best. Kinda like George imo.

Lewis Hamilton- ‘Bando Stone and the New World’ by Childish Gambino

This reportedly being the final Gambino project felt fitting for Lewis’ last year with Mercedes. The album didn’t reach the highs of previous Gambino projects but it is still a very strong showcase of what makes him so unique, with all the different influences and styles. I would also make a Lewis edit to ‘Lithonia’ if I knew how.

Bonus option for Lewis- ‘No Name’ by Jack White… I don’t have much of an explanation for this, I just got major Lewis vibes from this album.

Sergio Perez- ‘Radical Optimism’ by Dua Lipa

Just like Dua, Checo had radical optimism that he would have a seat next year lolll jokes aside, apart from some songs, personally this album was kinda underwhelming overall just like Checo’s performance this year. Wish the best for him for his future endeavors, but it was just an unfortunate season for him.

[bisexualbrainrots]

sooo I was in the shower listening to dua lipa and got this idea. it could follow the kiss probably, but in short: oliver and lou had a fling but fought around november, they’ve been away since then and oliver traveled across the country, lou gets a call around the week he’s back in l.a.

The book wasn’t bad, not at all, but Lou was regretting the spur of the moment purchase of a self-help book. He tried to concentrate, he really did, but his mind kept drifting away to the same reason he bought the book in the first place.

He reached for his phone, about to log onto his Instagram, until he got a call incoming.

He was calling.

Lou cursed under his breath, Why haven’t I blocked his number yet? he thought

Because you still miss it.

Despite the way his body was screaming at him not to answer, he swiped green and put the phone on speaker, the book in his hands as he tried to get back to it.

“Hi”

He rolled his eyes, “And why the fuck are you calling now?”

Lou knew he sounded hostile, But what more could you ask when the last time they talked it was through an unresolved fight? When the asshole didn’t admit he had been in the wrong, when he didn’t want to admit that this pattern was damaging for both of them.

“Well nice to hear from you too Lou, I’m doing good, thanks”

There was no way he was going to concentrate on the damn book if he kept hearing that stupid voice. Lou threw the book on the bed and laid flat on it, feeling the softness of the duvet.

“Oliver I’m not in the mood to entertain whatever this is, What do you want?”

He heard a sigh and something else he couldn’t pick up on, but it didn’t matter to him.

It wasn’t supposed to matter.

“Okay, uh, Lou I was calling to apologize, like actually apologize”

Lou was baffled “And you wanna do this over the phone?”

Oliver scoffed “Hey at least I want to talk, you're the one who cut contact with me”

He ran his hands through his hair, this guy was making him crazy.

It’s true that Lou cut contact with Oliver after their fight, he thought it was the logical step. Who cares if they were sleeping together? Who cares if they’d spent months of their lives, an entire summer, learning all their weak spots and how their bodies moved? Who cares if Lou had ultimately caught feelings for somebody he knew was never going to reciprocate them?

“Yeah, because I thought I could trust you”

There was a silence a little too long, and Lou thought he had hung up.

“I’m sorry, okay? I-I know it was shitty of me to say all those things to you, and, I understand now you were struggling so much it’s just… I’m really sorry Lou”

He bit his lip, his eyes wide shut “You know what’s so fucked up about this?... I had to show you all the things they were saying about me so that you could believe it, a-and you knew about it”

“I didn’t know all of it Lou, I just—”

“You just what? Knew all your co stars were being harassed and did nothing? I get it, it’s not your job to defend me, but I thought that we… that I could be…” Lou sighed, feeling his eyes burn as he fluttered them open “I thought that the fact that we’d been fucking meant something to you”

He heard a hitch in Oliver’s breath and a muttered “Of course it meant something Lou, for fucks’ sake” 

“Then why… forget it, I’ll hang up”

“No! Please, Lou, bloody hell you’re like a mule sometimes” he sounded exasperated, like Lou was the most stubborn person he’d ever met.

Lou blinked “That is not making it any harder for me to hang up, jerk”

He heard a deep breath “Look, after we ended things I did something… I traveled”

Lou frowned “Like abroad? I mean, good for you if that’s—”

“No, not fucking abroad, I… went across states on my van”

Now Lou was confused, a surprised laugh escaped him “You what?”

He could see it though. The mental image of Oliver travelling across the country with a car, his camera and a dream made him smile, which quickly turned into a frown as he realized what he was doing.

“Yeah, I don't know, I just… I wanted to be in with my thoughts for a while” any other day Lou would've rolled his eyes at the phrasing, but right now he was intrigued “And I thought that traveling on a van would be good a-and it was… and so I had time to think, about us”

Lou sat up on his bed, looking intensely at his phone “And?” he asked, elongating the word.

He heard a nervous chuckle “God, I miss you, I miss… this, and I know I was an arse there's no doubt about that, but it's just… I'm really sorry”

Lou clenched his hand around his shirt. It was all so painful still, avoiding Oliver for over a month only helped to bury his feelings, but it was like burying them in sand. And now the ocean was bringing it back to the surface.

“Lou, you there?”

“Y-yeah it's just… shit, I miss you too”

He was a weak man, there's no other explanation for what he was doing. 

Lou knew Oliver was smiling on the other side, he could just feel the corners of his lips curling up and his teeth showing through the phone call. And it was making him feel things.

Things he hadn't allowed himself to feel for weeks.

“If you wanted, maybe we could meet up one day, and have a better conversation than this” Lou nodded, even though Oliver could not see his face. 

“Okay, sure”

He heard Oliver exhale deeply, like he had finally found a bit of peace after all this time. Lou was envious of that. 

“Lou?”

He hummed as a reply, loud enough for him to hear, as he laid back on his bed. His cheek resting on the heel of his hand.

“Don’t you miss it sometimes?”

He frowned, looking intently at his phone “Miss what?”

“My hands on your body”

He heard the record scratch in his brain, feeling a little… offended? Conflicted? Aroused?

Aroused was definitely in there, but his pride was stronger at that moment. 

“Oliver are you serious—” he stopped when heard a groan that made him grip at the bed “What are you– Oliver”

“I’m not really doing anything, just… reminiscing” he pulled his reading glasses up to his head and covered his face with his hands when he heard that voice, the one Oliver did whenever he wanted to get something from him. 

Which always ended up being related to his dick somehow. 

Lou pushed the heels of his hands to his eyes, shaking his head at the ideas that were forming in it, “You cannot just… damn it Oliver, where are you even?” 

Oliver chuckled, now he really wanted to punch him “I’m seated and safe if that answers your question”

“It really does not” he threw a short laugh, letting his hands rest on his belly “... What are you wearing?”

He was just a man in the end, a weak one, but a man nonetheless.

Oliver's soft laugh felt like music to his ears “Just, a simple shirt and sweatpants… nothing under if you were asking yourself that”

“I was not, thank you very much” he sighed, his hands finding their way under his shirt, caressing his happy trail “I do miss it”

“W-what?”

“I… I miss your hands on me, I miss your body and the way you used to say my name, Oli”

He hasn't called him like that in a long time.

“Fuck, Lou… I miss all of that too, I-I really miss all of you it's… fuckin' hell” he heard a hitch in Oliver's voice, and now Lou was definitely wondering what was going on on the other side of the line. 

So he pressed.

“Touch yourself Oli, over your clothes” he heard a whine on the other side and chuckled “Now that's another thing I missed about you, I missed hearing you desperate for it” 

His own hands traveled to his crotch, pressing on it with the heels. His toes curled when he heard a moan come out of Oliver.

“Shit, I… I'm not desperate” he liked to do that, to fight Lou off and bicker until the only thing they could do to shut the other up was with their mouths.

“Sure you aren't”

“W-where are you right now, Lou?” he looked around, appreciating the fact that he was completely alone at the moment. 

“My bed, obviously, I was actually trying to read a book when you called” there was a pause on the other line.

“You have your reading glasses on?” Lou adjusted the glasses and smiled, remembering the times Oliver had seen him with them on. 

“Yup” he said, exaggerating the p sound.

Oliver groaned “God, you look so hot with those glasses, makes me want to…”

Lou smiled as he heard the soft sigh come out of Oliver’s mouth. The younger had a thing for Lou’s glasses and it was sort of endearing. Even though it always ended up with the older’s soul getting sucked through his dick, but it wasn’t something he couldn’t manage. Sometimes he put them on on purpose, just to tease.

Lou took off his shirt, his body heat making the layer of fabric feel uncomfortable “Touch me? Fuck me?” one of his hands went up to his chest, caressing the area.

There was a whimper, and Lou moaned softly at the sound “Fuck, yes, I just… I just want to feel you once again Lou”

“You could if you were here”

Oliver snickered, “Is that an invitation?”

Lou rolled his eyes, smiling playfully “Not unless you find a way to convince me that is a good idea” the thought of the younger coming to his place made him sigh in content, arching his back as he lowered his pyjama pants down to his thighs. His free hand went towards his hard cock, and started to jerk himself off.

“The thought of me inside of you wouldn't be convincing enough?”

He moaned loudly, throwing his head back on his pillows as his hips rolled against his hand, going a little faster at the idea “Oliver… fuck”. The images of the younger lifting his hips to get a better angle and touching every part of his body made him squirm.

“What are you doing right now Lou?” Oliver’s voice reached a new level of deep, making Lou rock his hips with an intensity that made the bed squeak.

“Fucking my fist Oli, I also… I also don't have my shirt on” he cursed under his breath when he heard a needy sound come straight out of Oliver's throat. He smiled knowingly, the fact is that the younger also had an interest in the older's chest, the dozens of bruises he left in the past were proof of it.

“God… grab your pec Lou, do it like I would, c'mon” 

He did so, grabbing one of them with a tight grasp and then kneading it like dough as he stimulated his nipple. 

“Oli… Oliver I don't know if your hand's still over your clothes but pull your dick out, fuck, I want to hear you”

“Lou— shit, ah, okay yeah I'm… fucking hell, I want to be there with you Lou, you have no fucking idea what I'd do to you” a wet sound made Lou's eye roll and bite his lip in a way that made him taste blood, his palm slick as it was being covered with precum.

“I know you’d love to be here Oliver… to have your head between my legs as I fill your throat with me, and you'd… you…” He couldn't find the words, the pleasure making his brain melt out of his ears.

“I’d let you fuck my throat Lou, pull my hair and keep me there until you’re satisfied”

Lou moaned loudly, blabbering a trail of yes yes yes as he stilled his hips up, pumping his cock with a firm grip.

“... Then I'd fill you up, fucking you until you come a second time, fuck, h-how would you want to take me Lou?” Oliver's breathing was agitated, he was close, so close, and Lou was too.

Lou whined “Riding you in reverse, bouncing on your cock while you leave marks up to my shoulders— holy shit, I-I’m gonna come”

“Come for me Lou, c'mon do it baby”

And the pet name does it. He arches his back so much it could snap, and comes in a guttural scream, spilling all over his hand and lower belly as his body spasms. He rides the orgasm wave as he hears the loudest moan come out of Oliver, and milks himself dry. 

“Did you… did you just call me…?” his chest was heaving, body covered in a layer of sweat as he stared at the ceiling, dumbfounded.

“I did, yeah… w-was that okay?” Lou's cheeks blushed. They had never called each other by any pet names, too intimate for the kind of relationship they had. 

He smiled and looked at the phone before taking his leap “Baby… I like it, would you like that I—”

“Call me like that, please” Lou heard Oliver sigh, and it only made his smile grow wider. 

They were idiots.

Lou sat up, leaning towards the nightstand and opening the drawer to take the toilet paper he kept for situations like this. He cleaned himself and giggled as Oliver complained about his cum stained clothes “Hey, you could've taken them off like I did Oli”

He heard a grunt and knew the younger was probably rolling his eyes, “Maybe, but I—” a noise made Lou frown, and he turned off the speaker, pulling their phone towards his ear to listen well, without much success. 

“What was that?” he asked when the younger returned to talk to him..

Oliver chuckled nervously “Oh, just… one of your neighbors”

“What?!” Lou looked out the window as he straightened up, wide-eyed “Where are you?”

“In my van” he sounded embarrassed, and Lou couldn’t really blame him, even though it all felt unbelievable to him.

“Oliver… you've been outside this whole time?”

Oliver chuckled “Can’t seem to stay away, right?”

He laughed, almost hysterically. He couldn't believe the younger had been there this whole time instead of knocking down his door. Though he supposed it made sense, in a weird way that he understood.

He doesn’t think he would’ve dared to knock on Oliver’s door had the tables been turned.

Once he’s calmed he pulled up his pants and walked out of his bedroom “Come in”

��Oh I will, baby” Lou rolled his eyes but laughed softly, shaking his head as he approached his front door.

“Shut up”

And they were back to where they left, tangled bodies and whispers in their ears.

Neither of them knows if the cycle will repeat, or if they’ve found a way to break it. All they know is that they couldn’t stay away from each other for too long.

Not even if they could help it.

read on AO3.

[geniousbh]

⸻ 𝒍𝒔𝒅𝒍𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔 📖✒️

( parte 1, parte 2)

parte 3 (e última): francisco romero e matías recalt

obs.: olá misses bumbuns, todas bem? quero avisar que esta semana meu cachorro e minha mãe ficaram doentes ao mesmo tempo o que me fez entrar num estado de melancolia onde eu só conseguia ouvir car's outside e pensar em scenarios tristes, e a corda estourou pro lado do francisco, então já aviso que a prompt dele saiu direto da sadolândia, ok?

obs.²: minha próxima canetadinha será com ele, emabaixador dos muleques piranha, matías recalt, mas não vai sair tão rápido quanto a kukufer x student porque preciso fazer aulas da pós e ler "a interpretação dos sonhos" do freud. mas irá sair! além disso, muitíssimo obrigada pelo apoio nos últimos dias, me sinto muito feliz de poder escrever e ter pessoas que apreciam, significa muito pra mim <3

tw.: nenhum.

𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒏: first love + wrong time, right person

quando você o viu pela primeira vez tinha oito anos de idade. neto do caseiro da propriedade dos seus avós. mesmo para a idade, ele já era considerado bem alto, mas não era isso que lhe chamava a atenção. seu coração de menina se encantava sempre que ele ia com o avô consertar as cercas ou cuidar de algum animal nos celeiros. os cabelos loiros com alguns cachinhos e os olhos azuis cristalinos que te faziam lembrar de banhos de piscina e verão, ainda que fosse começo de julho.

depois de duas semanas de férias na fazenda, você e ele eram inseparáveis. gostavam de explorar toda a região, desde os currais até a beira do rio onde ele sempre te provocava sobre ter sapos, cobras e de uma vez que ele jurava ter visto um jacaré. era tão leve e inocente, tão doce, estar na companhia dele. mesmo da vez em que você tropeçara e um ralado enorme e feio abrira em seu joelho, porque isto o fizera lhe carregar de cavalinho até em casa, ou então quando sua mãe te excomungava, berrando e gesticulando, por chegar completamente enlameada pro jantar, porque minutos antes era o rapazinho quem te acompanhava na aventura de procurar poças para pular enquanto riam juntos.

no ano seguinte era a mesma coisa, a amizade de vocês se nutria por vários meses, ansiosos para que chegassem as férias e pudessem contar tudinho um ao outro sobre o que tinham passado, sobre brinquedos novos, sobre a escola e coleguinhas. você tinha até mesmo comprado um diário para escrever seus dias, com a promessa de que levaria para a fazenda e leria junto com ele para não se esquecer de nada.

no entanto, no inverno do seu décimo aniversário sua avó descobria uma doença, e a propriedade era colocada à venda a fim de custear o tratamento, o que significava também que você não mais voltaria lá nas férias seguintes ou em qualquer outro ano. seu único consolo fora quando, no último dia de estadia lá, antes que seus pais ajudassem seus avós com o restante da mudança, o loirinho pedira que você o acompanhasse até um ipê rosa enorme e florido nos fundos do pasto.

você em prantos enquanto a mão maior que a sua te puxava até debaixo dos galhos da tal árvore. a cada brisa mais forte pequenas pétalas e flores caíam sobre as duas crianças. ele se curvava e enxugava seu rosto com as mangas da blusa comprida. "ssshhh, tranquila, tranquila", o garoto soprava baixo, na tentativa de te acalmar. "me duele verte llorar así, hm?", e na verdade você queria entender como ele poderia estar tão calmo?

francisco romero, que já era dois anos mais velho, te abraçava e então pegava algo no bolso de sua calça. sutilmente, segurando sua mão pequena e colocando um anel feito de cordas e fibras de trepadeira, que ele mesmo tinha se dado o trabalho de fazer, em seu quarto dedo direito. "esto no es un adiós! te encontraré en el futuro, nena!", seguido de um selar muito breve e salgado (por causa das suas lágrimas); seu primeiro beijo.

e não só fora seu primeiro beijo, como também seu primeiro amor. nenhum dos dois precisava dizer que era, até porque não saberiam naquela época. mas ainda tinha a memória vívida de quando ele correra por vários metros acompanhando o carro onde você deixava a fazenda, gritando "hasta luego"s e "cuidate"s e de como as férias do ano seguinte haviam sido horríveis, e de que você não mais tinha escrito em diários desde então.

por estes motivos, vê-lo ali, depois de quinze anos, na sua festa de noivado, era como estar numa espécie de sonho induzido. o rosto não mudara tanto, tirando que agora ele sustentava um bigodinho ralo, e obviamente também tinha crescido ainda mais, mas os cachos angelicais e os olhos ainda eram os mesmos.

francisco caminhou até você que se levantou exasperada, caminhando apressada e dificultosamente por conta do vestido longo que usava até que o abraçasse. os braços longos não tardavam em retribuir e uma das mãos agora pousava na sua cabeça, afagando seus fios. até mesmo o cheiro de terra molhada com um aroma doce de flores nele continuava igual. e, como se regressassem anos, não disseram nada, nem se explicaram, já que ambos sabiam que faziam parte de uma trágica história de amor.

contudo, quando a festa ia se encerrando e a maior parte dos convidados já tinha ido embora, e seu noivo estava conversando com amigos perto do bar, francisco reaparecia com uma caixa de madeira e se sentava ao seu lado na mesa de toalhas brancas. sorrindo sem jeito e colocando o objeto sobre a superfície antes de empurrar na sua direção.

você o fitava curiosa, uma sensação de cócegas dançando bem na boca do seu estômago, e quando finalmente abria, via ali dentro vários cadernos. tinha de todos os tipos, todas as cores, alguns estavam visivelmente mais desgastados e manchados do que outros. "son diarios... después de que te fuiste, pensé que sería más fácil poder escribir como si estuviera hablando contigo", um riso nasalado o escapava enquanto seus olhos se enchiam de lágrimas, como da última vez em que tinham se visto. "nunca dejé de pensar que te volvería a encontrar".

e bem ali estava, o segundo eu te amo que vocês trocavam. seu choro era comportado, embora a vontade fosse de sair correndo e esperniando, os dedos com as unhas feitas com francesinhas agarravam e puxavam a caixa para si. você murmurava um obrigado fraquinho e ele se inclinava para selar sua bochecha antes de sair e deixar o buffet.

dia 5 de abril de 2024, a última nota do diario mais recente "nena, me contaram que você alugou a antiga fazenda dos seus avós para ter sua festa de noivado! confesso que mesmo depois de tanto tempo essas notícias ainda me pegaram de surpresa. enfim, eu escrevo esse último recado não só para parabenizar a mulher que você se tornou e a sua conquista, mas para te contar sobre aquele dia de julho anos e anos atrás. você me perguntou se eu não iria chorar e por que eu estava tão calmo, e eu menti. foi a única vez que eu menti, eu não estava tranquilo e eu queria muito chorar... eu chorei depois que o carro sumiu de vista! naquela época, com 12 anos, eu ainda não sabia o que eu sentia, não sabia o porquê de ficar com as mãos suadas quando andava até a casa principal pra te chamar pra brincar, não entendia porque ouvir sua risada me fazia querer rir junto, hoje eu sei. eu sempre vou te guardar com carinho. te amo. seu, fran."

➵ (/me escondendo de vocês com vergonha, toda capenga, manca e anêmica) e a pior parte foi que você não tinha tido a coragem de dizer que até então havia guardado o anelzinho de plantas, hoje já todo seco, na sua caixinha de jóias, mas quem sabe numa próxima vida ele seja a sua pessoa certa no tempo certo...

𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊́𝒂𝒔: enemies to lovers + fake dating

seu mês estava começando da pior maneira possível e você tinha quase certeza que era por não ter gravado aquela maldita trend no tiktok "it's the first of the month". não existiam explicações racionais pra que seu ex estivesse na cidade e ainda por cima com a nova garota dele. ficava muito pior quando você descobria que seus amigos, que ainda eram amigos dele também, tinham o convidado pra resenha de mais tarde.

desde que felipe tinha se mudado para outro estado e cortado todos os laços contigo sua vida não tinha mudado em absolutamente nada. nada que ele pudesse olhar e pensar "uau, ela tá diferente", e isso estava te deixando fula da vida. você ainda era universitária, ainda não tinha arrumado a merda de um estágio e morava no mesmo bairro desde que se reconhecia por gente. o que te levava à sua segunda dor de cabeça do dia: matías recalt.

saiu a passos pesados de seu quarto, batendo chinelo até estar na porta da casa do garoto, espalmando a mão no portão e batendo, na esperança de que ele fosse ouvir com o som que ele tinha colocado no último volume. a música era diminuída e passos ocos soavam antes da passagem ser aberta pelo menino que vestia apenas bermuda. a carinha de pilantra e o sorrisinho canalha de sempre. "ay bebita, así terminarás haciendo que la puerta se caiga", ele implicou enquanto cruzava os braços e se recostava no metal. "que pasó, eh?".

matías tinha a mesma idade que você, tinham frequentado o fundamental juntos, mas foram para colégios diferentes no ensino médio, ele era seu completo oposto. você era reservada, ele conseguia resumir todos os eventos da vida dele para um uber numa corrida de sete minutos, você gostava de ler, ele preferia jogar pes e fifa, você curtia umas músicas melancólicas e alternativas, ele colocava funk e reggaetton pra vizinhança toda ouvir quase todos os dias. a competição que vocês nutriam enquanto crianças foi evoluindo pra algo ainda mais idiota depois de mais velhos, fazendo com que ambos só não conseguissem ficar no mesmo ambiente sem se alfinetar ou brigar.

contudo, quando ele deitava a cabecinha de lado, te medindo ali, uma ideia péssima surgia em sua cabeça, e sua falta de opções provavelmente faria com que você falasse em voz alta. ele tinha planos pra mais tarde? se ele prometesse não abrir aquela grande boca de sacola dele, ele bem que podia fingir seu novo namorado, né? coisa boba, só pelo tempo que vocês ficassem na resenha.

o outro erguia as sobrancelhas e abria um sorriso de fora a fora quando você terminava de falar, pensando que era muito bom pra ser verdade. aquilo seria motivo pra ele te açoitar pro resto da vida, até que vocês fossem bem velhinhos e ficassem na mesma casa de repouso por ironia do destino. "a qué hora te recojo entonces, mi noviazita?", você revirando os olhos com a escolha de palavras antes de dar as costas e sair dizendo que mandaria no whats dele.

o que o recalt não contava era que quando ele fosse te buscar às sete você estaria tão absurdamente linda, além de cheirosa pra cacete. o vestidinho de alcinhas que cobria quase nada das suas coxas roliças apesar de ter alguns babadinhos na barra, e a maquiagem que você tinha feito, toda delicadinha com um batom corando seus lábios faziam ele apertar o guidão da moto e morder o inferior engolindo seco. nenhum comentário sobre foi feito, ao passo que ele lhe fazia se segurar bem nele com a desculpa de não acabar caindo e te observando pelo retrovisor de minuto em minuto.

quando chegavam, você entrelaçava seus dedos nos dele, que por alguns segundos não se lembrava de acordo nenhum e sentia o coração ir parar no esôfago. mas ele aguentava bem, fazia uma batida de morango pra vocês dois dividirem e se apresentava pro seu tal ex, falando exatamente a historinha que você tinha inventado e mandado junto do endereço e horário pra ele no celular. ainda que não precisasse realmente, já que o pobre coitado claramente gostava de você há mais tempo do que se lembrava, mas sempre preferiu ficar no joguinho de gato e rato que vocês começaram num dia qualquer da quarta série.

isso, até que você fosse dançar com as suas amigas na pista de dança improvisada, jogando o quadril na direção onde os meninos, e pipe e a namorada nova estavam. o moreno observou durante uma música inteira, a expressão se fechando e não gostando nada quando ouvia um comentário sórdido de um deles sobre como você andava mais gostosa. caminhou até você e te segurou o pulso com firmeza, arrastando seu corpo até o estacionamento, aos protestos e tapas no ombro, mas no primeiro muro que via te prensava contra e te tomava os lábios num beijo profundo.

as mãozinhas parando de bater e tentar se soltarem até estarem relaxadas sobre os ombros dele, a boca se entreabrindo pra receber a língua quente e curiosa do vizinho irritante e um olhar de implorando por pica quando se separavam do ósculo, ainda que você perguntasse o porquê. "eres una tonta, cuántos besos necesito darte para que lo entiendas?"

➵ e no terceiro beijo, muito afoito, que vocês deram essa noite, matías teria te convencido de ir pra casa dele. vocês teriam fumado umzinho ouvindo alguma banda grunge da sua escolha e no auge da brisa você iria propor que ele continuasse "fingindo" ser seu namorado no dia seguinte na praia com a galera, até que o fingimento não tivesse prestando de mais nada e ele aparecesse com um punhado de flores (usurpadas de um canteiro alheio!) na sua porta. "isso não faz parte do acordo, recalt", "porra de acordo, menina, vai se arrumar que vou te levar no cinema".

[ynx1]

‎Beautiful explanation of why Du’a is delayed:

‎Ibn al-Jawzi رحمه الله said,

‎“I think part of the test is when a believer supplicates and receives no response, and he repeats the dua for a long time and sees no sign of a response. He should realize that this is a test and needs patience.

‎What a person experiences of waswaas (whispers from shaytan) when the response is delayed is a sickness which needs medicine ? I have experienced this myself. A calamity befell me and I supplicated and did not see any response, and Iblees started to lay his traps. Sometimes he said:

‎“The generosity (of Allah) is abundant and He is not miserly, so why is there a delay?”

‎I said to him:

‎“Be gone, O cursed one, for I have no need of anyone to argue my case and I do not want you as a supporter! Then I told myself: Beware of going along with his whispers, for if there was no other reason for the delay except that Allah is testing you to see whether you will fight the enemy, that is sufficient wisdom.”

‎My soul (nafs) said:

‎“How could you explain the delay in the response of Allah to your prayers for relief from this calamity?”

‎I said:

‎“It is proven with evidence that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, is the Sovereign, and the Sovereign may withhold or give, so there is no point in objecting to Him.”

‎The wisdom behind that is proven in definitive evidence. I may think that something is good, but wisdom does not dictate it, but the reason for that may be hidden, just as a doctor may do things that appear outwardly to be harmful, intending some good purpose thereby. Perhaps this is something of that nature.

‎There may be an interest to be served by delay, and haste may be harmful. The Prophet ﷺ said:

‎“A person will be fine so long as he does not become impatient and says, I prayed but I did not receive any answer.??

‎The response may be withheld because of some fault in you. Perhaps there was something dubious in what you ate or your heart was heedless at the time when you said the dua, or your punishment is being increased by means of your need being withheld, because of some sin from which you have not repented sincerely.

‎So look for some of these reasons, so that you might achieve your aim. You should examine the intention behind this request, because attaining it may lead to more sin, or prevent you from doing some good, so withholding it is better.

‎Perhaps losing what you have missed out on will cause you to turn to Allah and getting it will distract you from Him. This is obvious, based on the fact that were it not for this calamity you would not have turned to Him, because the real calamity is what distracts you from Him, but what makes you stand before Him is good for you and is in your best interests.

‎If you ponder these things you will focus on what is more beneficial for you, such as correcting a mistake or seeking forgiveness or standing before Allah and beseeching Him, and forget about what you have missed out on.”

‎[Source: Sayd al-Khaatir [59-60]

[notetaeker]

RAMADAN CHALLENGE 2024:

Welcome to this years Ramadan Challenge! This is something I've been doing for the past 3 years and it has been so beneficial to me so I hope it is the same for you. Everyone is welcome to join! Please also let me know if u have any suggestions / notice any mistakes ;_;

Special thank you to @nuuralshams 💕 and @laikastudies ✨

RULES:

Reblog this post to let me know you're in! (and to have as reference)

Pls use the tag '#RamadanChallenge2024'

I will be rb-ing every post I see in there (unless it's spam bots)

You can do a question per day or batch them together if you like

You can also do some questions out of order if you want (like answering the surah kahf question on a friday)

Feel free to skip any question or just post abt how ur ramadan went that day / what you ate for iftar / anything tbh

You are also welcome to start late (or early! If you want to use some of the questions as a countdown to Ramadan!)

I also included some Ramadan Prep questions + Eid post if you'd like! ( Very optional!)

I will be starting the challenge when I personally start Ramadan but if Ramadan starts a day earlier for you- you can just start then!

I added a bonus day in case Ramadan is 30 days lol but you can skip it if you want if Ramadan is only 29 days

I will try my best to queue your posts but knowing me I might just mass-reblog 🤡

Anyway Allahumma Balighna Ramadan!!! / Ramadan Mubarak !!!! (based on when you're reading this)

Let me know! If you want to be tagged / reminded when we start!

PREP QUESTIONS (Optional):

Prep day 1: One thing you're looking forward to this Ramadan

Prep day 2: Anything you are scared of / worried about for this year?

Prep day 3: List one thing that would help future-you get the most out of this Ramadan, and go do it now! (if possible)

RAMADAN QUESTIONS:

Day 1: What are your goals this Ramadan? Possible suggestions: 1 habit to build, 1 habit to break, and one accomplishment you hope to gain!

Day 2: What are your other obligations this month? How does it compare to previous years? How do you balance them with ramadan?

Day 3: What is your favorite act of worship? Has it always been your favorite?

Day 4: Ramadan is the month of the qur'an. What is an ayah from the Qur'an that has changed your view of things or impacted you deeply (this year)?

Day 5: Share a treasured ramadan memory

Day 6: Biggest life lesson or advice you would give to others

Day 7: Best iftar item?

Day 8: What is a suhoor necessity to get you through the day?

Day 9: Share a hadith you’ve been thinking about recently or try this link that gives you a random hadith. How does it relate to you? (Does it?)

Day 10: First 10 days end today! Share a taraweeh tip! If you haven't prayed Taraweeh before, what is something that feels difficult about it?

Day 11: How has your experience of Ramadan changed over the years (Has it?)

Day 12: Most challenging thing about Ramadan and how do you try to overcome it?

Day 13: What aspects of the qur'anic science have you explored, and how did that go? (e.g tafsir, translation, memorization, tajweed, recitation)

Day 14: Favorite lesson(s) from the surah kahf stories?

Day 15: Any islamic lecture series / podcast / book that you would recommend?

Day 16: Favorite time to read qur'an during Ramadan? What about outside of Ramadan?

Day 17: What is your Ramadan Routine this year?

Day 18: the second 10 days is almost over! Are you part of any islamic communities during Ramadan? What about outside of Ramadan?

Day 19: What is something you are grateful for this Ramadan?

Day 20: Have you ever done i'tikaf or qiyamul-layl in previous Ramadans? Are you doing any this time?

Day 21: Any feel-good dua acceptance stories to share? It could be your own story, a friend's, or even from a lecture that you heard

Day 22: What is something you always miss about Ramadan when it's over? / What do you think you might miss this year?

Day 23: Are you making dua for anything specific? (Any dua you want us to make for you?)

Day 24: Share an Eid memory that sticks out to you! What kind of Eid traditions do you have?

Day 25: Who is a sahaba (companion of the prophet ﷺ) that you feel inspired by? Can you share the story that inspires you?

Day 26: Your Laylatul-Qadr worship routine! Dhikr? Dua? Salah? Tell us!

Day 27: Mention a favorite story about the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, or which of his qualities you look up to the most.

Day 28: Think over the last month and the Ramadan that you've spent. Is there something you wish you had spent more time on? There's still 1-2 days left! What's your plan?

Day 29: Ramadan is our honorable yearly guest who is now preparing to leave 💔 What are 3 gifts Ramadan is leaving for you as a parting gift until we meet it again (inshallah) next year. It could be habits

Day 30 / BONUS DAY: If you were given an extra day to live, what would you do on that day?

EID: Eid Mubarak! Post a 3x3 or a 3x2 photoset of your eid celebrations! (Optional)

[sinisxtea]

MOOT TAG: What genre of music does your moots remind you of ?

im honestly not a very big genre specific person, i listen to whatever slaps so i don't usually choose music based on genre lol... but these are just my thoughts!

psychedelic pop/acid pop - @ldh0000

everytime we talk i lowkey feel like we're both high as fuck and honestly psychedelic pop really fits ur vibe idk... haunting hippy??? love u, let's not get a divorce

kr&b - @aquaphoenixz

if the walk album is anything to prove lol… you definitely have a thing for r&b. (ahem seori ahem cough cough seori) but valid… i love r&b as well <33

hyperpop - @syatchy

this isn’t even a discussion lol. love u 🫶🫶

disco - @lyvhie

girl you give off such 70s vibes but with a modern edge kinda? like the whole, “stop thinking, let’s dance!” thing that bruno mars, dua lipa, lady gaga (kinda) have got going on!

indie pop - @polarisjisung

or the genre i like to call mental illness /j (for legal reasons that's a joke don't come after me) no bc you embody this feeling of nostalgia? that's kind of like peaceful and calming, but also can definitely turn up the volume if needed? i'm thinking lana del rey, mitski, tv girl, maybe some 21p in there too.

afrobeats/amapiano - @riri4andy

although the genre has recently blown up, you have to really feel the vibes in order to like this genre of music, from what i've noticed it's usually a hit or miss if someone likes this style, but the vibes i get from you really embody the soulfulness of the genre.

y2k pop - @chenlesfavorite

you might not listen to a lot of y2k pop, but the y2k vibes are really coming from you! you seem so stylish, classy and fashionable! your creative endeavors are all over the place! it very much reminds me of that period in between the 90s and the 00s, although some modern songs have that vibe (stream midas touch by kiof 🙏)

house music - @galacticnct

when i thought of music genres for u the first thing that came into my mind was "gay people getting it down in the club" which i was then like. idk what genre that is, but i think i've managed to just place it upon house music. think bibora...

alt r&b / indie rock - @spiderm444rk

honestly i couldn't decide between the two lol. i feel like you fit the alt r&b aesthetic more than the indie rock vibe, but i'm only keeping indie rock on here bc of... mark lee!

synth-pop - @yeonzzens

tbh i know we have similar music taste, so i was thinking of how i could categorize it as? synth-pop is quite broad actually, and there a lot of different sub genres under it, but i feel like it really embodies the type of music that you like.

city-pop - @lotties-readings

city-pop but purely for the vibes. <33 it's so cozy and comforting, but also feels like a blend of the past and present. both seem so nice and peaceful, that it's almost like you're perfectly content with where you are right now. (did not mean for that to get poetic um i just yapped)

kpop - @nanaxwi

SDJSKDJKS I GAVE UP i tried. i wanted to pick a unique category but honestly i can't get a vibe for what type of music you listen to. kpop is broad and embodies many different genres and music techniques and it's very experimental and open to new things, which embodies you as well!!!!

[luminouslywriting]

I know you get a million anons for MOTA, but! Do you ahead any headcanons on what the guys would be like in the modern era? What types of jobs they'd have, their taste in movies/music/books/TV shows? Personally I think Gale would listen to a lot of podcasts, and Bucky would somehow know all the Gen Z slang even though he would be firmly a zillennial (I say as a zillennial, with love). Also, Brady would have a dating profile that the guys set up for him without his knowledge, and Rosie would be into country music and think it was a secret, even though everyone knows.

^^Gif is not mine and credit goes to carnevol!^

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since you requested this sweetheart! I'm just getting around to it and these asks have been rotting for a while, so my apologies! But I hope you enjoy! As always, my requests remain open and I don't mind spam!

Gale Cleven:

-For work, I either see him doing some sort of landscaping/construction business or being in teaching at the local college.

-He's still an old-fashioned sorta guy, even today—so that means that he isn't big on social media

-He loves audiobooks and podcasts, especially ones on mental health and history

-He definitely doesn't really get into sports, but he religiously watches the Olympics each year and that's his roman empire

-Could spout off the most random of historical facts all while on a date

-Definitely bisexual, but only his closest friends know that

Bucky Egan:

-ZILLENIAL FOR LIFE

-He's always trying to keep up with the slang because he's not necessarily still in the age group that's making the slang, but bless his heart, tiktok teaches him what he lacks

-Speaking of tiktok, he runs a random prank account (that mostly details his pranks on the rest of his friends)

-In a non basic way, he loves starbucks and going to the gym every morning....and yes, he probably posts about it on his story

-A sweet pansexual who just wants some attention

-Probably also the type of person who randomly decides he's gonna do some good deeds and pay things forward while at the grocery store

-For sure listens to Dua Lipa haha

Robert Rosenthal:

-Claims that he loves jazz and old music but secretly listens to country music and Taylor Swift when he's alone

-Probably some sort of professional athlete who has a successful podcast where he talks about music and books

-He's a well rounded man who likes to kick back and enjoy nature

-So he'll randomly go live when he's in the middle of a hike and no one understands what he's saying

-Still gives off grandpa energy--but mostly because he cannot understand GEN Z slang to save his life (though Bucky does try to educate him)

-Definitely the type of person to highlight different charities and causes in person and online to try and help others

John Brady:

-Has a music tiktok where he promotes his own creations, both instrumental and vocally

-Definitely has a dating account that he doesn't know about and gets sent on these dates ALL of the time without knowing it

-Also solidly a Zillenial, leaning more towards Gen Z—he really likes doing morning meditations on his account, but knows way too much about the Area 51 Raid for no reason

-For work, I definitely see him doing something sensible while he's working on his music career; so maybe he's a barista or doing accounting while he's trying to get things to take off

-Misses the college days because life was easier

-Definitely the one who organizes the social events for the boys in the Hundredth (right under Bucky's watchful eye haha)

[skyechild]

Home for the holidays

𖤐 pairing: Seonghwa x Reader (M/F)

𖤐 genre: smut and fluff

𖤐 warnings/kinks: nothing really for warnings, kinks though...breeding kink bcuz its Hwa, collars (f) handcuffs (mentioned), blindfold (mentioned), dom!Seonghwa, sub!reader, marks, crying, squirting, pussy drunk!hwa,

𖤐wc: 4.7k

𖤐trope/au: est r/s, idol verse

𖤐 summary Seonghwa comes home early the day before Christmas Eve to surprise you and with the roads being closed to all the snow you were not expecting anyone at your door at 9pm..

𖤐 A/N: This is for 16days of smutmas! Thank you to @staytinyville for beta reading <3

𖤐 Playlist:: _World by Seventeen, Christmas Evel by Stray Kids, Cheers by SVT Leaders, Puppet Show by XG, LALALALA by Stray Kids, Crazy Form by Ateez, Swim by Chase Atlantic, Lavender Sunflower by Tory Lanez, Pretty Please by Dua Lipa, Dirty Thoughts by Chloe Adams, Need to know by doja cat

𖤐 special tags: @kwanisms @anyamaris @millennial-fangirl / @kpop-stories-21 @yoonguurt @twisted-tales-of-all @stardragongalaxy

𖤐 tag list: @cultofdionysusnet / @kikouku / @spooo00oky / @yoonjonguwu /

Seonghwa was obsessed with your hoodie. It was your favorite, huge on you but fit him just perfectly. It smelled like you and it was soft. He always took it with him on tour, trading it with one of his. He had told you that he probably wouldn't be back in time for the holidays. Would probably miss Christmas and New Years. 

It felt like a stab to the heart.

But you had to expect it with dating an idol–they were busiest around the holidays. The weeks from October to January seemed to be when Seonghwa and the boys were extra exhausted, even if they tried to hide it from you and fans.

Christmas was your favorite holiday after Halloween, because you got to spend it with your boyfriend. Being able to curl up on the couch, coffee traded for hot chocolate, the tv playing a cheesy hallmark movie you and Seonghwa always made fun of but secretly loved, feather light snow dusting the ground and roads that would be molded into snowmen and women.

You loved sitting outside, curled up into a blanket and Seonghwa’s softest hoodie, hands around a mug as you watched cars and trucks try to make it up and down the hills, quietly cheering when they made it up or down safely. You had made a few snow rabbits and placed them on the railing of the porch.

You smiled, eyes trailing out the window from your spot on the couch. The streetlamps had turned on and it casted a pretty yellow glow on the snow that had already accumulated on the ground and roads. The roads had to be close to closing soon. Your eyes trailed back to the tree you had set up with the help of a few of your friends before settling on the presents under it.

You had been getting deliveries almost everyday that were possible gifts for you–Seonghwa’s name on the package as the sender. He had texted you earlier saying you could only wrap the outer package to the shipping box so it didn't look bad under the tree.

You smiled softly, eyes closing a bit as you rested your head against the back of the couch, humming quietly to the song that was playing in the background of a movie. You sighed, looking up at the ceiling, taking in the decorations.

The sound of a knock on your door caused you to sit up in confusion. You haven't heard any sound of tires or seen any headlights shine inside the windows. 

Your blood went cold. This was how all Christmas horror movies started. 

Slipping your phone up you checked the cameras as you pulled the blanket around your shoulders tighter and got up, waddling to the door. You stopped in your tracks when the camera opened up and showed pink hair. The person's head was down but you would recognize that figure anywhere.

Running the rest of the way to the door you yanked it open, Seonghwas head popping up at the aggressive motion, startled before he laughed lightly. He released his luggage and bags just in time to catch you. "I thought you wouldn't make it! Aren't you supposed to be in Europe?!" 

He chuckled, hugging you tight to his chest. "I needed to see you." You shifted, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist and he adjusted to hold the blanket around you as he stepped inside. 

"Hold on." He leaned down, grabbing his bags as he kicked the door shut behind him.

Shoving your face against the cold skin of his neck you nuzzled your nose against his pulse point, smiling faintly at the shiver that went down his spine at the difference in temperature of your skin compared to his. Your stomach clenched in excitement and happiness. 

Seonghwa was home for the holidays. You felt like you were going to explode with how your stomach and chest were fluttering. You wanted to wiggle in Seonghwa’s grip but not while he was carrying you. That just seemed like a bad idea. You grinned softly, tightening your hold on him.

"Hwa, I can't explain how I feel right now. 'n knowing that I'm not dreaming and you're actually here." Your bite your lip as you pull back to look at him. 

His nose almost matches his hair with the soft pink it is from the cold. "I know baby." He whispers, hugging you rightly and waddling to the couch, never releasing you. Sitting down he peppered kisses around your face, pulling giggles from you.

Sitting back on his lap more comfortable you sighed, resting your hands on his shoulders and taking in more of your boyfriend. The tips of his ears were pink as well as his nose and you pressed a kiss against his nose and the tips of his ears. "It feels like it's been years since I last saw you. Pictures 'n videos never compare." 

He smiles softly, taking off his gloves and holding your hips. "Facetime doesn't help you either–so much more breathtaking in person. Seeing you this close..." His hands move to your cheeks, stroking the skin softly. "I’m so lucky."

You giggle, placing your hands over his as turning your head to kiss the palm of his hand before nuzzling into it. 

"I love you." You smile, eyes closing as you rest your head in his hands. "I love you too baby." He murmured, eyes soft as he watched you. "I brought you more gifts." He whispers after a bit and you sigh teasingly, resting your head on his shoulder. 

"You already got me so much." Your breath fans across his neck and you feel him shiver. "I could barely keep up with the presents I was getting you." 

He chuckled, rubbing your back as he looked at the tree and at the pink packages."Is pink this year's theme?" 

You shifted, wrapping your arms around his neck, humming quietly. "Your hair is pink." You stated, hinting at the obvious reason. 

"Does that mean every year the theme is whatever color my hair is?" 

You nodded, nuzzling into his neck. Seonghwa chuckled, scanning the decorations he had set up, noticing the small touches he bet his mum did. "Baby, did mum come over and help?" You nodded and pulled back to look at him a bit. "How did you know?" 

He chuckled, a soft smile on his face. "I’d recognize my mum's decorating anywhere." You feigned a pout before you dropped a kiss on his forehead. "It's very discreet, but I'd be able to recognize it. But what is that tree over there?" He motioned to a smaller tree in the other corner, a bit dimmer than the main tree.

You followed his gaze and found the red tree you had also decorated. "Oh! It's for the boys! There are some gifts I got for them under that tree. I kept them separate because I didn't know if they were coming over since we did last year." 

Seonghwa nodded, stroking the skin of your back as he slipped his hands under your shirt. "They're coming here this time." You nodded, tightening your hold on him. "I have to cook for them." He chuckled.

"We are going over to your parents for Christmas eve right?" You nodded. "I was planning on it, i didn't know if you were coming to be home this time." He nodded then grinned. 

"So you're good to go to my parents on Christmas? I might have told them we would..." He trailed off and you nodded. “I was gonna go even if you werent home.” He gasped, as if he was scandalized. You smiled before you snuggled against his chest.“I just want to cuddle with you now." You whispered. He hummed as he stood up with you, you yelped and wrapped your legs around his waist, clinging to him tightly. "You gotta warn me next time."

Seonghwa pressed a kiss against the side of your head as he moved to let the blanket fall fully onto the ground. Moving his hands he gripped the backs of your thigh with one and the other was a soft weight on your lower back as he walked towards the bedroom. Your smile had not left your face and it was making your cheeks ache but it didn't fall when Seonghwa let you fall back onto the bed, it only caused you to laugh as you bounced faintly.

Seonghwas own grin was growing on his face. He loved when he caught you watching him. You looked at him like he hung the stars and moon just for you. He would pull a star down just for you if he could, he'd give you everything you wanted if you just said the word. But you never did. You always returned his gifts with one for himself. You said you always wanted to be even.

You smiled as he slipped off the outerwear once he made it to the bathroom, shirt easily following. He was fine with the couch getting wet but the bedroom was a no. The mirror was positioned just right to where you could see him and he could see you. 

But you didn't notice when he slipped a small box to the side out of view so he wasn't surprised to see your eyes locked on his form. You watched as he shook his head, getting rid of the small remaining melted snow in his hair before he looked in the mirror. 

"I have something we can have now." You sat up a bit on your elbows as you watched his scurry out the door to the living room.

He was back before you had time to follow. Dropping his backpack by the door he dug through it and pulled out matching sets of silk pajamas. "Here I got us matching pajamas." Your smile melted and your face softened. God he was so cute. 

"Hwa...." You shuffled once you got up, wrapping your arms around his waist. "That's so cute." 

He feigned a pout before it broke into a wide smile, an arm wrapping around your waist as he swayed side to side, humming as he tossed the pajamas on the bed before he wrapped his free arm around your upper back and bent over enough to pepper kisses on your face, drawing the giggles he loved so much from you. 

“You're so cute.” He murmured.

You pushed him back for a second before you wiggled out of his grip to wander over to the dresser, grabbing something out from the back of the bottom drawer and hiding it behind your back as you turned back ground. 

“I have something we can have now. It's for both of us.” He tilted his head, looking like a confused cat for a moment. “Can you sit on the bed Hwa?” He followed, brows furrowed in wonder as you walked closer. 

“Close your eyes.” He closed his eyes as you dropped the wrapped presents between the both of you as you found your place on his lap, his hands automatically finding your hips from reflex. 

“This is for right now.” 

You could already feel the dampness of your panties sticking against your folds as you settled your weight onto his thighs. You didn't want him to feel how wet you were yet. How you got wet from just seeing his shirtless form. Your hands fell onto his shoulders, thumbs stroking the skin slowly. 

“You can open them now.” You whispered, watching as his eyes opened and he glanced down towards the gifts. 

His hands slid off your hips to start unwrapping his gifts. He had a faint idea of what types of gifts they would be when he saw you get them out from the bottom drawer.

The first one had his breath hitching. Pretty little handcuffs that would mostly be around your wrists unless he had a bad day and just wanted to be taken care of. 

The second had his eyes darkening a bit. “Oh sweetheart.” His voice had dropped an octave and your hands slid from his shoulders down to his stomach and tenses for a moment under your touch. The acrylics you managed to get before the roads got bad gliding across his skin. 

You bit your lip as he pulled out a pink lacy blindfold. You had both talked about a new blindfold, the current one getting distressed from the about of use.

He preferred the color pink against your skin. He said it made you look like a pretty doll, especially when he had you gasping and whining when he went past the overstimulation. ‘What a pretty fucked out looking doll. Aren't you beautiful.’ He would coo once he saw a few tears slip past the fabric.

Glancing back up at you he licked his lips, eyes scanning your face and a smirk pulling at his lips when he noticed the pink flush on your cheeks. 

“Are you getting shy?” He whispered and you had to force yourself to not look away. Seonghwa loved eye contact–craved it. 

“You have a few more.” You murmured. 

He chuckled at the diversion attempt. 

You slipped your hands up to his neck, nails brushing against his nape up into his hair. His motions stopped a moment at the feeling of your nails in his hand and against his neck. He couldn't wait to feel them scratching down his back. His eyes fluttering and head falling back into your hands for a moment before he quickly finished unwrapping the other gifts. A bullet that you know he will love using on you and a collar that had his initials on them.

He placed them on the bed beside him and flipped you both so he was hovering over you, a smirk on his lips. “I haven't even been home for a few hours and you already want to be on my cock? Did you miss me or my cock more?” 

You can hear the amusement in his voice as he bends down to leave a quick kiss on your lips, snickering as you try to follow him back. His hand presses down against your chest, keeping you against the bed.

 “Hm…What should we use first?” He hums as he licks his lips, his eyes catching on the collar. “Let's do just this for now. I want to watch as you fall apart on my cock, leaving marks on my back with these pretty nails.” 

He easily slips off your shirt, taking in the soft skin of your stomach and chest. “Oh, how I missed these.” He purrs, sliding his thumb over a nipple, watching as it hardens before he ducks down, easily slipping one into his mouth. 

Your groan echoed through his ears as your fingers tangled in his hair, gripping the locks tightly. He hums against the bud, pulling a whimper out from you before he switches to the other after blowing air against the wet nipple, smirking at the sharp gasp that he managed to rip out from you. 

“Has it been so long that you're this sensitive?” You huffed at the teasing before he slipped the collar around your neck. 

“Well my fingers and video calls only help so much, and your fingers are longer than mine-” You choke on the rest of your words at the feeling of Seonghwa’s hand slipping past the hem of your sleep shorts, and his fingers brushing against the damp spot on your panties. 

“Look how wet you are sweetheart.” He murmurs mockingly as rips off the rest of your clothing, humming at the bare sight of you, eyes roaming your body as you squirm, trying not to cover yourself.

 Seonghwa liked to admire you sometimes but it always made you self conscious. You bit your cheek, you weren't going to slide down that rabbit hole with your boyfriend in front of you. 

“It's all for you Hwa.” 

He lets out a pleased noise at the mention of your body's reaction to him. “Yes it is. All of you is mine–just as all of me belongs to you.” He whispers, fondness seeping into his tone. “I love you so much little one.” 

You smiled widely at him. Those words coming from his mouth always distracted you, made you feel like it was the first time you had whispered the words to each other.“I love you too Hwa!” He smiled widely, a soft look on his face as he dropped a kiss on your nose. 

Then his eyes darkened, his fingers pressing against your clit after giving a quick swipe through your folds, humming quietly and your choked out whine of his name. He chuckled as he brought them up to his lips and popped them in his mouth. 

“God, I almost forgot how good you taste.” He murmured as he shuffled down the bed, pushing your legs apart more. “Keep them open or I'll get the bar.” You hated the bar and he knew it. He had adjusted a spreader bar so you couldn't close your legs around his head–even if he liked it sometimes.

He watched as you nodded before dropping kisses on your inner thigh. You bit your lip in quiet anticipation. You loved Seonghwa’s tongue, especially when it was on your pussy. You loved when he gave oral and he loved giving. 

Pulling one leg out his way he smiled against the skin of your thigh before he nipped at the skin, chuckling as you squeaked, leg jerking away. He fixed his position, pulling your legs back and over his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around the back of your thighs and jerking you closer to his face, legs being pressed against your stomach from how he was positioned. 

“Such a pretty little thing.” He murmured, eyes locked on your pussy before he dropped his head, nose brushing against your clit as he slipped his tongue through your folds, eyes fluttering shut.

You let a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the feeling of his tongue on you. He hummed at the taste, the vibrations sending a shiver up your spine. You whined as his fingers crept closer, spreading your folds and slipping his tongue from your entrance to your clit and giving a harsh suck on the bud. You twitched in his hold, hands gripping his hair tightly and tugging faintly.

 “Fuck, Seonghwa.” He hummed, making you shiver. 

Seonghwa’s eyes opened to flick up and meet yours, pleased to see you already looking at him. “Good girl.” He whispered, lips already wet with your arousal. 

He ducked his head back down, eyes sharp as they stayed locked on yours. His eyes were dark as the indecent sounds of slurping filled the room. Your legs twitched on his shoulders and he narrowed his eyes, a threat in dark eyes.

Close your legs, I dare you.

You could almost hear his voice in your head and judging by the amusement that took over the place of challenge in his eyes told you that he knew. You jolted, yanking his locks as you felt his tongue press inside of you, slipping against your walls. 

You loved this, most of all, you knew he loved it. Especially by the way his eyes got a bit hazy. You were sure this wasnt going be just him eating you out then fucking you. No, the haziness in his eyes told you that he was planning to get drunk on you, then maybe fuck you if you didnt have to ride him–you wouldnt be complaining. 

You shifted, pulling his head more into your pussy and humming as he pressed his nose against your clit, taking his time licking through your folds and flicking his tongue against your clit before sucking on it before shifting you to get his tongue as deep inside you as he could. 

The sudden tightening of your stomach and the feeling of your orgasm hitting you like a brick wall had you gasping, fighting between the feeling of pulling him closer or pushing him away. But by the way he tightened his grip on you left you knowing he had made your choice for you. 

He was planning on having you squirming on his tongue, whining and crying before he got you on his cock. The small glimpses you got of his face, the orgasm had got his chin and lips wet, what mostly had you pushing at him was the almost drunk look in his eyes.

He could break you like this. It had been a while since he had been able to give you oral but when he looked up at you and watched you push at him, it had you stopping. He wasn't going to stop unless he got you squirting on him. 

He pulled you against him tighter, refusing to let you move or try and push him away. With him doubling his efforts and how you were still sensitive from your first orgasm it hit you just as hard as his fingers were added into the mix, pressing against the edge of your entrance.

Your hips jerked out of his grip once it loosened as he closed his eyes, smirking hazily as he got you to squirt on his tongue. He pulled back, eyes still slightly hazy as he climbed up closer, pressing your lips together. 

You groaned at the taste of you on his tongue once he licked into your mouth. Your chest pressed against his as you tugged him closer., letting him press his weight against you, pressing you into the bed. 

“We would use the toys, but it's been a while and I want to see you.” He murmured as he pulled back a bit, words fanning against your lips. A fond chuckle fell from his lips, as you unconsciously tried to follow his mouth.

“Plus, I want to feel your hands on me.” He dropped a few kisses on your lips.

You moved your hands from his hair to his shoulders, nails leaving faint pink lines as he sighed. He pressed a kiss to your cheek before he stripped off his pants and boxers and climbed back onto the bed between your legs, sitting back on his heels as his eyes roamed over your body. 

“God you're so pretty baby.” He murmured quietly as his hands slid down your thighs, smearing the wetness on your inner thighs a bit, grinning at your whine. 

Your hands found their way back onto him as he lifted your ass onto his thighs, letting his cock rest on your stomach. “God, sometimes I forget how big I am compared to you.” A corner of his lips curled up in amusement. He let you wrap your legs around his waist as he pulled his hips back.

“We have to make sure your tiny pussy is still made for me.” He teased as he pressed his cock in slowly, placing his hands by your head once his hips met yours, a soft groan leaving his lips as a high pitched moan left yours. 

Looking down at your stomach he closed his eyes quickly. “Fuck I forget sometimes….” He trailed off as he licked his lips. You quickly looked down as well and whimpered quietly as you pressed a hand on the slight bump in your stomach. 

“God, imagine when I manage to get you pregnant.” He murmured, almost to himself and you clenched around him and his gaze snapped towards you, a brow quirking. 

“Would you like that?” He teased, teeth showing as he gave you a smirk. 

You feel your cheeks head up in embarrassment, a mumbled ‘maybe’ leaving your lips as he grins. “Maybe I'll just try. We could try everyday. I make enough money for both of us…” He grinned, snapping his hips, cutting off whatever you were about to say as you let out a whine. 

“Fuck, Hwa please.” 

He groaned softly, dropping from his hands to his elbows,kissing your forehead before he started moving his hips consistently. While being very talkative he wasn't very loud in bed–soft groans and moans, slightly louder whines and hisses. 

He growled low as he bit down on his bottom lip as your nails raked down his back once his hips sped up. “So pretty for me baby.” He whispered against your cheek as his kisses moved down, kissing the spot behind your ear before leaving light hickies down your neck until he got to where you'd be able to cover them, marks getting darker the lower he went. 

You whined softly once his lips brushed against a sensitive spot on your neck and he hummed as he gave more attention to that spot. It was cold outside, and a scarf would cover the marks. He grinned before he left a darker mark.

He groaned as you clenched around him, one hand moving down to your hip. “Keep squeezing me and I won't last much longer…” He mumbled and you giggled slightly as you dug your nails into the skin of his back, dark red marks appearing, causing him to arch his back for a moment.. 

Gathering what little strength you had you flipped the both of you, sighing as it felt like he cock slipped further inside. “Fuck Hwa…” You moaned softly, nails already slipping down his chest. Seonghwa always loved when you were on his lap, even more when you were riding him. He gripped your hips tightly as he met your hips with his own. 

“Lean on me baby.”

He let your hands rest on his chest as he held you up a bit once he noticed your movements slowing down. Following his words you placed your hands on his chest, the move making you lift off a bit but it was quickly changed once he bent his knees, feet on the bed and snapping his hips up into you. You choked on a gasp as the tip of his cock hit the sensitive spot inside. “There it is.” He murmured as he noticed the change in your face. “Don’t close your eyes, keep looking at me, I want to see your pretty eyes.” He purred softly.

You struggled to keep your eyes open as you let yourself be engulfed in the feeling of your boyfriends cock hitting the sensitive spot quickly. “Touch yourself.” You groaned. “Lean back on my knees baby.” He added quickly, sharp eyes watching your hands as one went to rub your clit quickly, the other pinching your nipple and you shook on his lap. 

“Can i cum? Please?” You whimpered, looking down at him again.”Almost there baby, lets cum together yeah?” He groaned as you clenched around him. “Fuck, im gon’ fill you up so well with my cum, make sure it takes.” He murmured, more to himself but you heard it and jerked, walls tightening around him and eyes rolling back, your orgasm hitting hard. It set off Seonghwa’s own orgasm, his hands pinning your hips against his as his cock twitched inside you, warm ropes of cum coating your walls.

“I'm going to make sure it takes.” He pressed his tongue against his cheek once you both came to. “We can stay like this for a bit, then ill clean you up.” You nodded tiredly, laying down on him, head under his chin. “Dont fall asleep.” He whispered after a second before he smiled softly, stroking your hair as you nuzzled against him.

If you did he would just carry you. Seonghwa let you both rest for a few minutes before he was sighing and sitting up, holding you tightly. “You awake baby?” You rubbed your eyes with one hand. “No.” He chuckled at the blatant lie. “C’mon, lets go get cleaned up.”

-

The night ended with you both curled up in bed wearing your matching pajamas with a cheesy hallmark movie on and hot cocoa, even if you had fallen asleep after finishing the drink, Seonghwa stayed up a bit longer to scan over your face as you slept. He thinks about the box he had hidden in the bathroom.

“I cant wait to marry you.”