#Dream- you broke every rule! Tommy- you could have got over that we could’ve been friends

[bleue-flora]

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

Loss of a Hero

Hi, Admin Anesthesia here :). I’m so sad. Still crying over Tommy. Based on this. There's also a reference to the wonderful song letter to a dead friend by Precious Jewel Amor.

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Summary: After Dream kills Tommy, Sam tells everyone. How will all of them deal with the loss of a hero?

Trigger Warnings: Implied Suicide, Spoilers, Death

Content Warnings: Swearing

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Sam was pacing around the prison area as he tried to look for the woman.

“Sam...you okay?” Puffy asked as she appeared behind him with worried eyes.

Sam jumped before sighing and nodding, “Puffy...I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He continued to mutter.

“Sam, what happened?”

“I failed him. I promised that I’d protect him and I didn’t. I waved off the idea because I didn’t think he was capable.”

“Sam?” Puffy asked, fearing the worst.

“He’s dead, Puffy. Dream killed him because I didn’t want to kill Dream.” Sam couldn’t look Puffy in the eyes, “I’m sorry...I know I promised I’d protect him.”

“Tommy?” Puffy’s voice was a whisper, not wanting to confirm the truth.

Sam’s little nod made Puffy’s heart sink. “Oh...Sam, you couldn’t have known.”

“But I did. I could’ve stopped it.” Sam finally faced Puffy, tears streaming down his face, “I’m sorry, Puffy. He was just a kid.”

“I know, I know,” Puffy replied, pulling Sam into a hug as her tears started to come down as well.

-----------------

Sapnap first heard about Tommy’s death when he was talking with Quackity.

“Hey, babe.” Sapnap smiled, kissing the top of Quackity’s head. He thought Quackity was praying because Quackity was kneeling down, but upon closer inspection, he knew that wasn’t the case.

“Hey, Sapnap.” Quackity gave a small smile to his fiance as he looked up at him. Quackity’s face was strewn with tears.

“What’s wrong?” Sapnap’s face immediately melted into worry, “Who hurt you? I can-”

“Tommy died.”

“Wait...what?” Sapnap’s worry turned into denial, “It can’t be. Dream didn’t have any weapons. Tommy could easily fight back.”

“He was just a child. He was my friend.”

“He...couldn’t have died. Tell me you’re joking….please.”

“Sam told us this morning. Dream beat him to death. That sick fuck even looked happy about it.”

Sapnap didn’t like Tommy that well, but the few times they got along, Tommy was a good teammate. He was just a kid. He had so much to experience still.

Tommy reminded him a lot of his younger self. Aspiring to be more than fate wrote him. So when he felt something roll down his cheek, he knew he was grieving for the boy that could’ve been so much more. The boy who would have achieved a lot more than Sapnap did.

“I have to go do something.” Sapnap muttered as he walked away, “Dream...what did you do? I told you not to do anything bad, and here you are, wishing for your death.”

-----------------

Tubbo didn’t believe that Tommy was dead. Why should he?

Sam had told Tubbo that he was alive and well the day before. The last time he thought Tommy was dead, he ended up being alive and well. Sam was probably just trolling with him. Besides...

Dream didn’t have the balls to do this.

Tubbo, at least, thought this until he had gotten Tommy’s compass from Sam.

“I think Tommy would’ve wanted you to have this,” Sam whispered as he gave the compass to Tubbo.

Tubbo’s smile faded as he pulled out his own. The compass was spinning nonstop and it didn’t land on Tommy’s anymore. It was broken.

“Sam...Sam...why is it doing that?”

“Doing what, Tubbo?”

“Ghostbur gave it to me. He said that it pointed to Tommy’s compass. Theoretically, it should still work, right?” Tubbo asked, “Tommy’s not dead. He isn’t! How could he be? Dream’s never defeated him before.”

“Tubbo... I don’t know if you want me to answer that.” Sam looked regretful.

“Please...tell me.”

“They were bound to your souls. Once one of you die, it breaks because it has nothing to bound to anymore.”

Then a heavy feeling was placed on his shoulders as he realized that his best friend was gone. And he never got to say goodbye to him.

He was too busy trying to compete against the Big Innit Hotel and goofing off with Ranboo that….he didn’t pay enough attention to Tommy.

Tommy told him that he was going to face his abuser one last time. Tubbo was so proud of him. Sam told him that Tommy was stuck in the prison with Dream. That was fine, Tubbo knew that Tommy could fight through it. After all, it was only one week.

Tubbo thought that Sam was joking when he said that Tommy was dead.

“Sam….I never got to say goodbye to him.” Tubbo whispered as he crumbled to the ground, looking at his broken compasses.

“I know.” Sam sighed, “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should’ve protected him from Dream. I’m sorry.”

Why wasn’t he crying? His best friend just died. Did he not care enough? Why did he feel so insensitive?

“Tubbo?” Sam asked as he knelt down beside the shaking boy.

“Sam, why am I not crying? He was my best friend and I don’t even care about it. Why am I not crying?”

“Tubbo, you don’t have to cry to show that you’re grieving. You’re just a boy still. Just...come here.”

Sam pulled him into a hug and that’s when Tubbo felt his tears come out.

“He’s gone. I was supposed to be there for him when he got out. And he’s gone.”

“He died protecting you.”

“WHAT?” Tubbo asked, standing up.

“Dream threatened Tommy that he’d kill you if he got out, and Tommy died to his hands, telling him that he’d never lay a hand on you.”

Tubbo felt everything rush to his head. It was all too much. How could he? How could Dream?

He felt angry. He needed to get his revenge. So he pulled himself together and started walking back to his base.

“Tubbo, where are you going?”

Tubbo smiled, “I’m going to finish what Tommy started. I’m going to make Dream lose his last life.”

“Tubbo-”

“Sam, he killed my best friend. He manipulated me. I’m tired of playing his games. It’s time I made the rules.”

Sam sighed and before Tubbo could leave, Sam just handed him the compasses. “Keep them safe. After all, Tommy’s compass still works, right?”

Tubbo sighed, “Right.”

-----------------

Quackity was sitting on the signature bench and he had Wilbur’s guitar in hand. He guessed that it was about as a good time as any to sing for the soul they had just lost. The strums of the guitar echoed throughout the entire Dream SMP area and soon, people were gathering around him.

“I heard there was a special place, where men could go and emancipate the brutality and tyranny of their rulers. Well, this place is real you needn’t fret, with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Eret. It's a very big and a little bit blown up L’Manberg.”

“My L’manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg.” Tubbo started to sing, sitting down next to Quackity as he started to sing with him.

“For freedom and for liberty, our nation sought to build on these, a victory for all under democracy. Well, the darkness came, and then it went, we built a home and watched it sink, and there from rubble, there emerged L’Manberg.” Quackity sang at the same time that Tubbo had sung the verse of the ad-libbed on the day L’manberg was destroyed.

They both laughed it off as they started to sing again.

“My L’manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg.”

Tubbo had to stop because he had started to cry. “Tommy….”

Quackity just continued. He knew that Tubbo wanted him to continue the symphony. Tommy would’ve liked to hear it.

“With bloodied hands and weakened knees, our people rose like the phoenix, our empty fields and canals ‘round L’Mantree. With sweat and tears we armed our ranks, we laid foundations in our land, and from every lips fro here up to infinity.” Quackity looked at Tubbo to make sure he was okay.

Tubbo just nodded as he continued to wipe away the endless stream of tears.

And as they came to the final verse, everyone around them started to sing with them.

“We sing L’Manberg. We sing L’Manberg. We sing L’Manberg. To our L’Manberg.”

As soon as the song was done, everyone went to hug Tubbo, grief surrounding all of them.

No one thought that Tommy would be gone so soon, especially Tubbo. The one person Tommy cared about more than the discs.

-----------------

“Ranboo….what’s wrong?” Technoblade had asked as soon as he saw Ranboo’s defeated face. “Who hurt you? Was it BBH again? I can-”

“No...nothing like that.” Ranboo shrugged it off, “It’s just….Sam told me that Tommy died today.”

Technoblade snorted, raising an eyebrow, “You know he’s probably joking, right?”

“I don’t think he is.” Ranboo whispered, “Sam told me to give this to you.”

Techno raised an eyebrow before Ranboo dropped something small into Techno’s hand. Something splattered with blood.

“It can’t be.” Techno’s voice was barely a whisper.

No...that was the friendship emerald Phil had given Tommy. Techno had seen Tommy wear it as an earring during his exile time period. Techno knew that Tommy still wore it. There would be no reason for him to lose it, and more importantly, lose it with blood splattered on it.

“I’m sorry, Techno.”

Techno felt a heavy weight on his shoulders. He knew that Tommy wasn’t ready to go just yet. Techno never got to say he was sorry for betraying the boy.

“Why are you sorry?” Techno laughed, “It wasn’t you that killed him, was it?”

“He was like a brother to you, right?”

“Tommy meant nothing to me.” Techno replied coldly as he sighed, “But I’m sorry for your loss, Ranboo. I know that Tommy was your first friend.”

Ranboo just broke down, “I never even got to say goodbye to him. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. Tubbo and I were going to compete with him with our hotel. And-”

Ranboo was caught off guard by a pair of arms wrapping around him. Technoblade was hugging him.

“He meant a lot to me too,” Techno whispered as Ranboo wrapped his arms around Techno as well.

They stood there in silence, just hugging each other for the longest time until finally, Ranboo separated. “Techno...I have something to admit.”

“Your enderwalk state was the one to trap Tommy in the prison? I know.” Techno sighed, “But that’s not you. And you can make it up by coming with me and helping me kill the green Teletubby.”

Ranboo smiled as he took the sword Techno passed him, “Let’s do this.”

-----------------

“Niki, I don’t think I want to do this plan anymore.” Jack sighed as soon as he saw Niki approaching him with plans to try and kill Tommy.

“Why not? Are you really backing out?”

“Niki, look at us. We were blaming a child for something that he’s already trying to fix. You’re blaming him for Wilbur’s death, but you know just as well as me that Wilbur was not in his right mind. He chose to die at the hands of his father.”

“Jack, where is this coming from?” Niki scoffed.

“Dream killed Tommy today. Beaten to death by his abuser in a tight space, according to Sam. It got me thinking.”

“Wait...what? Tommy’s dead.”

“Niki, you never wanted Tommy to be dead, did you? You just needed someone to blame while you were grieving.”

“No, no, no, no, no, he can’t die. We still have plans to make. We were supposed to make his death happy. He was supposed to see Wilbur and face his consequences. What do you mean Dream did it? That could’ve been the worst way for him to die.”

“Niki, we just wanted to feel important to him again. He ignored us, so we forced ourselves into his story. Look back…”

“Wilbur...did choose to die, didn’t he? It wasn’t Tommy’s fault. Oh god…” Niki sobbed, “I tried to kill him. And I couldn’t focus on having fun with him. Now he’s dead.”

Jack nodded, “Me too…”

Niki just went to hug Jack, “How can I ever forgive myself?”

“Time,” Jack whispered, knowing fully well that he needed to forgive himself too.

But for now, they felt ashamed of their actions and thoughts leading up to Tommy’s death.

“At least Dream did it instead of us,” Niki whispered. “That way, we saw clearly before we made the mistake.”

“He was just a kid, Niki.”

“I know...Tommy, we’re sorry.”

-----------------

“Tubbo...did Sam tell you?” Ranboo asked as soon as he entered the Bee N Boo hotel.

Tubbo nodded, holding up the broken compass he was looking at. “Please tell me we’re just in a dream and that Tommy is still in the prison alive, waiting for Sam to let him go.”

“I’m sorry, Tubbo.”

Tubbo slumped down, “I never even got to say goodbye to him. We thought it was over when we put Dream in jail. Sam told me he was still wearing his compass when Sam went into the cell.”

“He was my first friend.” Ranboo whispered, “Of course, we immediately got into a war crime, but he was still nice to me. I’m sorry.”

Tubbo just stood up, “Can we go and get some more blocks to finish the hotel? I don’t want to think about it.”

“Sure...come on.” Ranboo gave a small smile, “We can even go and get some red and white dye to have a memorial for Tommy in the hotel.”

“That sounds nice,” Tubbo mumbled as he allowed Ranboo to pull him towards the flower field.

-----------------

“Hey...what’s up with you two? Why so gloomy today?”

Ranboo looked up at Phil, only holding out something red.

Phil raised an eyebrow as he took it, only to realize it was the bandana he gave Tommy a long time ago.

“You guys are fucking with me, right?”

Techno shook his head as he took out Tommy’s friendship emerald, “Dream killed him in prison.”

Everything came crashing down at that point. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he can’t be dead. Tommy’s the main character. He was supposed to show me the hotel after he got out of prison. I promised myself that I’d be a better father for him and that I would move on from Wilbur’s death. What do you mean that he’s dead?”

“I’m sorry, Phil. I know how much Tommy meant to you.” Techno sighed, putting a hand on Phil’s shoulder. “We’ll leave you alone to think about this.”

“Thank you, Techno.” Phil sighed.

Before Ranboo could leave though, Phil asked, “Did Tommy ever tell you anything about me?”

“He told me once that he missed the dad that was there for him. He said he knew you were getting better and still healing, as was he, but he was tired of you leaning on his misery in order to cope. He just wanted to have a dad again.”

With that, Ranboo left the room, leaving Phil to collapse on the ground, caving in to the voices that were telling him that he was a bad father.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Phil sobbed, “I failed you, Tommy, and it’s all my fault.”

-----------------

Tommy opened his eyes to see that he was somewhere. And nowhere at the same time. He didn’t know where he was.

“Tommy?”

He heard Wilbur and he turned around to see his brother. “Wilbur, where are we?”

“Oh, Tommy, when I meant see you soon, I didn’t mean this soon.” Wilbur pulled Tommy into a hug, “You’re in the afterlife.”

“That son of a bitch did it, huh?” Schlatt snorted, “I can’t believe he did it.”

“Schlatt-”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.” Schlatt rolled his eyes, “But I can’t believe that Dream killed you. To prove that the book is real.”

“Is it real?” Tommy asked.

“Nah, I’m a drunk alcoholic. How the fuck am I supposed to get a necromancy book? No...I gave him something else.”

“What?”

“A script.”

“A script?”

“Our script. See, Tommy, I was supposed to be the idiot, but I managed to be one step ahead of Pogtopia. Because I knew what was going to happen. So I gave the script to Dream in order for him to win. I knew I would die in the end and that you would get a happy ending. So I needed you to continue losing. So he became self-aware. He kept causing problems and blowing things out of proportion so that there would still be a story. Without one, he wouldn’t exist. He needed you to continue doing stuff. So in the end, he knew it was him or you. And he decided to choose you. To keep the story going for a bit longer.”

“Schlatt, you sick fucker. You never told me that.” Wilbur hissed at Schlatt.

“Well, there was no reason to. We might as well become friends again in the afterlife. There’s nothing to do here. But-”

“Tommy, we’re going to get you back and you’re going to kill that son of a bitch because it isn’t your time to die.”

“How though?”

“By the same way Dream convinced you to let him live. We’re going to guide the people to find a necromancy book and we’re going to bring you back to life.”

“Wilbur, what about you? What if I just like being with my brother again?”

“You have forever to talk to me when you die, but you still have unfinished business with the rest of the Dream SMP.”

Tommy smiled, hugging Wilbur, “Okay...let’s do this then.”

They were going to help the others revive Tommy.

-----------------

Tubbo walked to Tommy’s house. Dozens of flowers laid across the doorway and items of value were on the ground for Tommy. Tubbo was the last person to not put something there.

“Hi Tommy.” Tubbo gave a small smile, “I’m sorry it took me so long to visit your house. Everyone seemed to already give you so many flowers. I don’t know if you’d like more, but I picked them out for you.”

He knelt down at the doorway, placing the flowers.

“I also got you some of the things I’ve kept. Like blue premium bonds, blaze powder flavor therapy, signs from our pranks, swords I grinded for, blocks from my house, and-”

Tubbo couldn’t continue as he held back a sob.

“I miss you so much, Tommy. Why did you have to go?”

He put the items down before walking towards the bench. It felt empty next to him.

Opening his ender chest, he found one of Tommy’s discs in there. He put it into the jukebox next to him as a familiar tune came up.

When Tommy and Tubbo had reunited, Tubbo had shown Tommy his letter he wrote for his best friend he presumed dead.

Tubbo took out the crumpled paper from his pocket.

“I miss you. The memories flashed back tonight. I want to tell you, but I’m sure you’re alright. I can’t move on from the pain and the loss that I gave you. My world is silent right now. I finally live in peace, but it seems like everyone’s been fooling me. I thought that I was fine, but now that you’re gone, I wish I had more time. Don’t you remember you call me your Tubbo? I once assured you, together we’ll grow, but now I’m alone and I don’t know what to do. Everything just leads back to you. I miss you as I sit by the horizon myself. It’s not true, I won’t forget the good times we shared. You told me it was us against the world and I’m sorry I have left you all injured and hurt. My world is silent right now. Don’t you remember I call you my Tommy? I used to tell you that I’ll never leave, but now that I did, and I don’t know what to do. I’m sure everything will lead back to you.” Tubbo read out loud, the tears dropping from his face onto the paper.

And for some reason, he couldn’t stop reading the last sentence. It made sense.

“Everything will lead back to you. Everything will lead back to you.” Tubbo sobbed. Everything he had done was for the good of Tommy or L’manberg. He just wanted to be back with his best friend again.

“Sincerely yours, Your Tubbo.” Tubbo whispered as the song ended and he put everything back into his ender chest.

He felt exhaustion come over him and he laid down on the bench, his tears still flowing down his face. Sleep came over him soon as he cried himself to sleep.

Tommy was gone for real this time and Tubbo couldn’t do anything to reverse it.

[86-was-his-year]

I’m Not Letting You Go| E.W. (Spoilers for Part 2!!)

Summary: You won’t Ellie go on this mission by herself even if everyone else tells you no.

Warnings: Mentions of Death (Spoilers), Swearing, PTSD mentions, Ellie being mad but being cute at the same time, little nsfw (oops) a lot of angst like no joke

A/N: I loved The Last of Us Part 2 (Most of it anyway) and I wanted to show more love to Ellie cause nobody writes about her and I need it for my bi-sexual ass. 

.

The snow gathered thickly around the edge of the small mansion that we followed the horse tracks to. Shimmer was wandering around the area aimlessly and I knew Ellie was still here, Shimmer would never leave without her. They’ve bonded over these couple of years and I know Ellie would be upset if anything happened to her. 

“Guys, I found Shimmer! Search the fence for a way in!” I yelled to Jesse and Dina while looking around the area to see if there were any openings on the bottom of the fence. A pile of bodies were around the beginning of the fence and I didn’t doubt that was the expert work of either Tommy or Joel. Maybe they got caught in the storm and had to find a way to keep themselves from freezing to death. 

I followed the faint tracks and it led to a little opening in the fence. Maybe Ellie took this way and had the same idea. Maybe she was warming up by the fire with Joel and Tommy while they just waited out the storm. I know that Joel and Ellie haven’t been in the best of places but I also know that she was trying to forgive him. I kept thinking back to the day at the hospital.

I was waiting for my surgery and he burst open the door in front of me. He looked me up and down and saw the large bite and cysts on my ankle, just under my blue hospital gown. 

“Please take me with you. Please I don’t want to die.” He looked at me and nodded. 

“Do you know how to get out of this damn place?” We wondered through the halls and checked every room. The alarms began to get louder and louder, they were alerting everyone that we were escaping. I didn’t want to go back, I over heard them talking and they were going to kill her and me just because we didn’t turn. The world didn’t deserve our help, the world deserves to burn.

“You have to take a left here and then a right. There’s an elevator at the end of the hall and it leads to a parking garage on the bottom floor we can get a car and get the fuck outta here.” 

It wasn’t hard to get to the garage but it was hard to see Marlene standing there with a gun pointed at Joel. I shimmied myself behind him and gripped onto his shirt. I watched and listened as Marlene tried to convince Joel to let us go. She was explaining the logistics of taking two young girls on a trip across the country as if she knew where we were going.

I saw the handle of his gun glint off the light and it sparked something in me that I had never felt before. I wanted to protect Joel and Ellie, there was only a matter of time before the rest of the fireflies alive would come after us and all of this would be for nothing. The handle was cold in my hand I took three quick steps to the right and shot straight at Marlene. She fell to the ground as she started groaning in pain. 

“Get to the car now.” He jogged to this truck and opened the back door urging me in before stuffing Ellie in along with me. “I’ll be back.” He slammed the door and walked over to Marlene. I put Ellie's head on my lap and began to stroke her hair. I jumped in my seat as I heard a single gunshot and I knew this would be all in the past. 

“Ellie!” The back door was open and the blinds were rustling uncontrollably. The snow crunched behind me and I drew my gun turning around way too fast for my brains liking. Dina and Jesse were standing there with their hands up and I turned back around without any regard for them. I needed to find them and make sure they were okay. Part of me had this silent dread built inside, they would never leave the door open like that. 

“Ellie!” I took off immediately, searching every room and every closet that I could see, I had to find them. Dina and Jesse were going back to check if I missed anything in my haste to find them. My search was turning up empty all the closets were empty and all the rooms were turning up blank, they were no where to be seen. I walked into the kitchen, the last room that needed to be checked and found an open door. I looked down and immediately ran down the steps. I flung the door open and took in the sight before me.

“Oh my God.” I looked down at the lifeless body by the blood splattered window. I watched Joel leave in those clothes this morning. Ellie was at my feet knocked out cold with blood running down her face, she was here. Did they make her watch as they killed her or did she get here and attempt to fight back after the fact?

“T-They’re down here!” I slid down to my knees and dropped my gun to the side. Ellie was shifting around and groaning in pain. Her face was banged up but her nose wasn’t crooked so that meant it wasn’t broken, at least from my slim amount of doctor knowledge. As Ellie shifted herself awake I grabbed her head and brought it into my lap, I knew this was going to be a shit storm when she woke up so I wanted to comfort her while I could. 

“Fuck!” Jesse walked down the stairs and went to check his body, there was blood all over the window and his coat wasn’t moving up and down with soft methodical breaths. It was the one notion that would tell us that he was alive and it gave us no sign. I could feel my chest tighten up as I en-graved the image of Joel into my brain. All the times that he helped me overcome something, all the times he spent cracking jokes with Ellie and me when we had bad dreams, It all was ruined in this moment. I would never get to see him again. 

“No.” I looked down to see Ellie turning her head to look at Joel. 

“Ellie don’t look.” I pulled her face away and made her look at me. 

“I had to see it. I could’ve done something.” Her tears ran down her face and I felt my heart clench in my chest. I sat her up and held her to my chest rocking her back and forth as I let myself sob over my loss.

.

I held his shirt between my fingers, the warmth was leaving it but the smell was everything I needed. It was the last thing he wore before that day, he had coffee in this shirt, he played guitar for me in this shirt, and I couldn’t help but think that I’ll never have those moments with him again. I’ve stayed in his bed this past week, I’ve only moved to take a shower and eat a little bit of food. 

People have been knocking on the door trying to give me casseroles and get well soon cards but I didn’t need their sympathy, it won’t make me get back what I’ve lost. Ellie hasn’t come by yet and I really don’t want to see her face right now, I’ve spent so much time watching her and Joel bond every time she would crack a little joke she would try to include me. I took a whiff of his coat and let out a sob, my heart was clenching and my chest was tightening in on me, Its felt like I couldn’t breathe these last few days and it won’t go away. 

The door rattled and my eyes shot open, I didn’t want to see anyone right now. Maybe it was Maria coming to see if I would clear his stuff out and move away, or maybe it was Tommy trying to get any info that could lead him to the killers. He said one of them was Abby and they were from the Washington Liberation Front but I couldn’t care right now. The steps up the stairs were rhythmic and soft, but I couldn’t rule out that they were going to kill me, like they did to Joel.

I grabbed the gun form under my pillow and shot up out of bed only to see Ellie looking at me and the look on her face utterly and completely destroyed me. The tears ran down my face harder and I could see the war going on between her eyes. I lowered the gun and put it back under my pillow before turning over and gripping onto the shirt again.

“You know he used to lay with me when I had bad dreams?” My eyes were hot and puffy from crying, my nose was clogged with snot, my cheeks were wet and sticky, and my throat was hoarse from screaming into nothing. I couldn’t stop crying it was like my body was just acting on its own and I couldn’t pull back the tears or the sobs anymore.

“He would, wouldn’t he?” She walked closer and sat on the edge of the bed. Her hand rested on my ankle and I felt myself flinch back, she knew about my bite mark long ago but it never stopped me from trying to hide it. Her fingers brushed the edge of my leggings away and rubbed the raised area of my bite. 

“Yeah, when I would scream at night he would be there as soon as I woke up. His pajamas were always so cute, little blue pajama pants and a graphic t-shirt. I would dream about us dying.” I pulled the shirt closer to me and listened to the sound of Ellie breathing. 

“I remember when we found those. We got it for his birthday right? Not exactly designer but it was something.” She took her hand away and my heart dropped as she broke contact. I thought she was going to leave me to just cry my eyes out. I would like to think she would have come earlier but I didn’t tell anyone I was here so I doubt she knew.

“You know you could’ve told me where you were.” She crawled up on the bed and made her way over to me. She really is able to read my mind sometimes, even if I din’t like it. I moved the shirt and let her lay down next to me, the bed springs squeaking with age. 

“I’m surprised he even made his bed.” I ran my hands across the now ruffled sheets and smiled. 

“I know a hardened survivor and he does house chores.” She put her hand next to mine and we just stayed there. 

“He wanted to do right by you. He didn’t mean to lie but he wasn’t wrong.” I ran my hand down her arm and across her chemical burn. She did it when first got here God, the smell was in her room for weeks. Burning skin and chemicals mixed horribly and I can just remember Joel’s face when he walked in to her screaming. 

“I know. I just wish you guys would have told me sooner.” 

“Ellie!” The jolting of the horse wavered my voice as it ricocheted off the tall buildings. We knew where she would go, it’s where she always talked about going back and finding out the truth about what happened to us.

“There she is!” Joel urged his horse into a gallop and I followed him closely. Shimmer was standing next to Ellie as she looked through her bag. “Stay here, kiddo.” He hopped off his horse and I let them talk. I could hear her crying as she gripped her chest. Of course she was hurt I mean I would be too, if I didn’t know the truth.

She refused to talk to me for weeks but we grew up together and of course I knew how to make her talk. I brought her new music and a bunch of new movies which I totally almost got my face ripped off for. She laid her head on my shoulder and ranted about how she felt and it was good. She finally opened up to me and I felt how she felt. 

“You knew the whole time? Why didn’t you just tell me?” She took her head off of my shoulder and turned on the couch. The pain in her eyes was real but there was something different swirling in those beautiful emeralds. 

“I wanted you to trust Joel. He lied to protect you. He knew that if he told you the truth he wouldn’t have you anymore and I know how much that tears him up. He loves you, Ellie.” I put my hand on her arm and watch her process this. 

“Jesus, you sound so grown up.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. She chuckled and looked back at me.

“You Missy, should know more about anyone else about growing up way too fast.” I poked her should and she fell back on the couch. 

“Oh yeah?” She got back up and flung herself onto me. It knocked me off balance and I fell back, pulling both of us down to the floor. I landed on top of her and started laughing.

“Oh shit, still got the upper hand!” She grabbed my arm and pushed me over. She brought my arms above my head and pinned them there. 

“Now who’s got the upper hand hm?” She brought one of her hands down to my face and traced my features. 

“Looks like I’m your prisoner.” I tried wiggling out of her grasp and found that I really couldn’t. “What are you gonna do to me?” There was a taunt to my voice and a smile stretched across her face. My heart was racing too fast to be normal, not normal with Ellie though. Sometimes I would look at Jesse and get these butterflies but only with him. I mean that fucker was way too handsome for his own good. 

“I had a couple of ideas.” She shrugged the best she could with one shoulder and brought her thumb to run across my bottom lip. It was something that I never thought I would experience not with Ellie at least. She slowly leaned forward and planted her lips on mine. I’ve had my first kiss already so it wasn’t a new feeling to me. This kid I knew back in a QZ liked me and I liked him so we kissed and then he said I had cooties so that was that. 

This kiss was something different, not only because Ellie knew what she was doing but because there was something actually there. Her lips were wet with spit, hers or mine I really couldn’t tell but it didn't matter we locked our lips together and it feels like neither of us wanted to go. It wasn’t fast or rushed we were just intertwined, we took our time and never really wanted to leave. But alas we need air to breathe so she pulled away and leaned against my forehead. 

“I think your sentence has been carried out dutifully and therefore, I’m letting you out on good behavior. She let go of my wrist but pulled me up with her. I could feel my lips and they were swollen, I can’t imagine what they look like though. My heart was still racing and the butterflies were still knocking around in my sternum. 

“Does this mean you forgive me?” This time I leaned my head on her shoulder and we just rested there watching the movies last seconds. The hero spares the villain and lets him go with the promise of never returning. 

“The jury’s still out on that one but I’ll get back to you.” 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Ellie pulled me away from my fantasies and I smiled. I sat up and quickly rolled on top of her, grabbing her hands and putting them into the pillows that Joel so carefully made. 

“Got the upper hand now didn’t I?” I cocked an eyebrow at her and watched as her eyes swirled with amusement.

“Are you threatening an officer miss?” She put on her best cop voice and put her head to the side. 

“And if I am?” I leaned closer and closer with each word. I could feel her hot breath on my cheek and I bit the corner of my lip. 

“I guess I’ll,” She grunted with effort but easily turned me over, “have to take you prisoner.” She was straddling me now and I felt all those feelings come back for the first time in years. I never forgot about them, no, but I let them go only because I wanted Ellie to have someone else. Someone better than me.

“Officer please!” I mocked the ladies in the old horror movies and put on my best damsel in distress voice. 

“Can’t get out of this one that easy, sugar.” It’s embarrassing to say but I felt arousal pool on the inside of my underwear. Hearing her call me a pet name was all I needed to finally lean up and try to connect my lips with hers. She leaned back and smirked a bit before slowly leaning down.

I finally had what I was missing all these years, her lips on mine once again. The rush in my stomach all came back at once and I let out a tiny whine as I tried to move my arms. She pulled away and looked down at me, shock turning to wonder and then smugness. 

“You got a cute set of pipes on you. Let’s hear you use them.” She whispered the last part in my ear and I let out a big breath. This girl was going to torture me, all I wanted was to feel her lips on mine again and she was trying to take detours. 

“Ellie? Are you in here?” She shot up in alarm before relaxing. 

“Coming Maria!” She looked at me and scrunched her nose. “We aren’t finished yet.” She pointed between the two of us and fixed her hair.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Officer.” I blew a kiss and watched as she rolled her eyes before leaving. I sighed and turned over to find the shirt no where to be found. I could feel my calming heart pick up it’s pace again. I threw myself off the bed and found that it wasn’t under me. I searched under the pillows and under the bed sheets. 

“No, no, no!” I frantically looked at the foot of the bed and finally dropped to my knees in defeat.Tears welled in my eyes and that made it even harder to see while I searched for the prized possession. I felt my hands around the ground and a piece of fabric ran under my fingers. I snatched it and brought it close to me, looking at it and then smelling it. It was his alright. 

“Y/N?” Ellie was in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, her stance meaning she was closing off again. Once I looked up at her and she saw the tears rolling down my cheeks and the shirt wrinkled between my fingers she dropped her arms and came to me. “Come on, get on up.” She gently grabbed my arms and got me off the floor, sitting me on the manhandled bed sheets. 

“I thought I lost it.” I leaned my head into her chest and sobbed. I couldn’t hold back anymore, I needed him here not in the ground. 

“I know kid, I know.”

.

We slept there, in his bed. It felt just normal to sleep with her by my side but I kept dreaming about him. Seeing his blood all over the window and on the ground. I kept imaging his final moments, did he say his last words to Ellie? Did he say that he loved her like he always wanted to? He talked about the way that he would do it but I guess he never really got around to telling her. 

I heard him pleading in my mind. He was begging me to help him, yelling in pain as they hit in with the golf club. Ellie told me that’s what they used but she really didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I didn’t make her. I was in the room as a ghost the faceless people talking to Joel about who knows what. I couldn’t see their faces or hear their voices but I watched them hit him endlessly and brutally.

My eyes opened and tears were already piling up onto my pillow. I guess I was crying in my sleep, wouldn’t put it past me. The bed was cold behind me and I shot up, looking around the dark room for where Ellie went. She was sitting on the chest by the end of the bed while putting her shoes on. 

“Ellie?” She jumped at the sound of my voice but looked back at me. Her demeanor seemed angry or distraught. 

“What are you doing up?” She pulled her pant leg down and stood up. She had the same clothes that she had on yesterday which wasn’t a surprise. We didn’t get to go home and change and I really didn’t want to leave. 

“I had a bad dream, where are you going?” I sat up and took the blanket off of my body. The leggings I wore were becoming sweaty and twisted around my legs but I dealt with it and picked up my shoes from the edge of the bed.

“Nowhere, you can lay back down Y/N. I’ll see you in the morning.” She got up and moved towards the edge of the bed to sit down next to me. 

“Why do I feel like I won’t?” I laced up my boots and looked at her, “You’re going after them aren’t you?” I stood up and went to Joel’s closet picking out a random shit before throwing it on over my tank top. I looked around the closet to see if there was anything else that I could use. His backpack was just sitting there no use for it so I took it over my shoulder and walked towards Ellie.

“You shouldn’t come. I don’t want you hurt.” She put her hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes. 

“This is my fight just as much as it is yours. I’m coming with you Ellie.” I held her wrist and leaned my head against her hand. 

“Alright. Maria said I can leave on Shimmer but I guess I could spare some room than bring you along. For Joel.” She pulled me closer and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. 

“For Joel.” 

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Burned Part 27

Summary:  Alfie Solomons is in need of a secretary. Tommy Shelby mentions a young woman in need of employment. From there the two step into a dangerous dance together.

Part 27: Tommy Shelby delivers a present, Alfie writes a letter. 

          “Can you believe it, Teddy? Aye? An MP.”

           Teddy was on the floor, pushing a wooden train around the rug. He was a fairly quiet little boy and could entertain himself longer than most toddlers. The soothing atmosphere of the office kept him at ease. His father constantly smudging the ink on the paper, mumbling incoherent curses, and Cyril watching from his bed in the corner.

           The three-year-old giggled, oblivious to what Alfie was actually talking about. He beamed up at his father. “Daddy, look at my train.”

           Alfie smiled. “Yeah, that’s your train. Where’s it off to then?” He grunted as he heaved himself up out of the leather desk chair. He held the paper in his hand as he painstakingly lowered himself down to sit on the rug beside his sun.

           “I dunno.” Teddy lifted his shoulders dramatically.

           “How ‘bout…” He winced as he tried to adjust how he was sitting to alleviate the pain in his hip. “It’s off to visit Cyril.”

           The little boy giggled and pushed the train over to Cyril who was watching Teddy from his well-worn bed. His chin rested on his paws, his sad eyes half-closed. Finally, Teddy gently tapped the engine against the mastiff’s nose. Cyril hardly even flinched. Instead, his tail started to thump happily against the floor.

           “Choo choo!” Teddy crowed happily.

           “Alright, bring it back then, back to dad.” Alfie leaned back on his elbow, scanning the rest of the article about Tommy Shelby becoming an MP. A landslide they called it. Clearly the popular choice for the labor party. “Crazy gypsy.” He muttered under his breath. Politics was the absolute last thing Alfie would ever want to be involved in. Sure it brought a lot of power and weight in the game, but all the regulations and rules. Not to mention how much time it probably took up. No thank you. Alfie was quite content with spending time with his family.

           Of course, Tommy Shelby wasn’t dying. Or he wasn’t dying as fast as Alfie was. Course the Blinder could be shot down any day, but he highly doubted it after everything he pulled with the Italians.

           Teddy scampered back over to Alfie, running the train over his legs as if they were hills. Alfie chuckled. “Bumpy track, aye?”

           “Bumpy.” His son mimicked.

           “Well, at least I’m not a fucking MP like Tommy Shelby.” He sighed.

           Teddy sat back, pressing the soles of his feet together. His blue eyes looked up at his father. “Fucking MP.”

           Alfie’s eyes widened and he realized he’d really done it that time. He should’ve realized the day would come, Teddy echoed him day in and day out like a parrot. Louise was stern with him, saying he needed to cut back on the swearing while in Teddy’s presence or he’d pick it up sooner or later. Apparently, it had come sooner.

           “Fucking MP,” Teddy said again.

           “Hey, hey, can’t say that.” He was not the disciplinary of the household. It nearly broke his heart to scold the little boy or tell him no. Ollie often teased him for being such a pushover. Leave it to a three-foot toddler to make him go soft.

           Teddy tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Why?” Since he was so curious, he always asked that. He was never content with just accepting things the way they were. He wanted to know where the sun went at night. He wanted to know why horses and dogs walked on four legs. He wanted to know how cars worked. Often times, Alfie was at a loss under his intensive questioning. Sometimes he had to make things up on the spot just to satisfy his inquiries. He prided himself on being pretty clever, but when Teddy asked where babies came from; he had to stammer his way through a bullshit excuse about storks.

           “’Cause it’s a naughty word.” Alfie tried to explain, hoping that was enough of an explanation.

           Of course, it wasn’t. “Why?”

           “I dunno, just is.”

           Teddy frowned, clearly displeased by his lack of an answer. “Why?” He pressed again.

           Alfie couldn’t help but chuckle and tousle his hair. “Because someone a long time ago said so. Can’t say it, at least not around mum.”

           He smiled, a little mischief glinting in his eyes. He loved keeping little secrets from his mother. Secrets just he and Alfie knew. Like how Cyril would always get a few table scraps when Louise wasn’t looking. Or how Alfie let him stay up just a little bit later to read another book together. What they didn’t know was Louise was well aware of their secrets. She just simply chose to look the other way. She adored seeing the bond between father and son.

           “Okay.” Teddy put a finger to his lips. “Shhh.”

           “Yeah, shhh.” Alfie smiled and checked his watch. Louise was due back from her ride at any moment. He stood up, shaking out the pins and needles in his legs. “There she is.” As if on cue, he looked out the window and saw his wife riding Paris down the gravel drive. The two foxhounds trotting after the mare’s feet. Louise usually rode a loop around the property, where Alfie thought she’d be safest, from the stables to the front gate. Despite the remote location, Alfie still insisted she brought the dogs with her who were trained to attack humans as well as animals and that she carried her handgun. Old habits died hard and a gangster, even if retired, couldn’t help but always look over his shoulder.

           Alfie stretched his stiff back. “How’s about you and me go out to greet mum? Get some air?”

           Teddy smiled and lifted himself up. He followed his father to the front hall grabbing at his pant leg.

           “Gotta get your coat on, mate, don’t want ya to catch your death.” He retrieved Teddy’s baby blue coat and knelt down to get it on. “Right, looking handsome now, just like dad, yeah?”

           Teddy giggled. “Handsome.” He tugged at the collar of his coat.

           “That’s right,” Alfie grunted as he stood up. “You hold dad’s hand now, don’t want you running off, aye?” He had to stoop a little to let his son take his hand. “Good lad.”

           The two stepped out as Louise was dismounting. Baby and Ollie came rushing over to see them. Teddy squealed as the hounds licked his cheeks affectionately.

           “Right, you two. Leave him be.” Alfie shooed them off to the direction of the stables.

           “There are my boys.” Louise smiled warmly and walked over with Paris plodding beside her. “Finally come outside?”

           “Well, had to come out and see you.” He smiled and rubbed the mare’s cheek. “How are you, lass?” He’d warmed up to the idea of horses a little more although he still wouldn’t dream of getting on one.

           Paris nickered softly and lowered her head to sniff at Teddy. He giggled and reached up to gently feel the horse’s whiskers. She exhaled, the warm air blowing through his dark hair. “Par.” He cooed and touched his cheek to her muzzle. The little boy was fearless when it came to animals. It got to the point where Alfie had to be extra careful he didn’t go running off toward any of the wild animals that happened to pass through the lawn. Teddy was positive the fox that lived at the outskirts of the forest would love a good cuddle. Alfie was positive that he would not.

           “Let me set her out in the pasture and then we can have tea on the terrace,” Louise suggested. “How’s that sound, my loves?” She bent down to kiss her son’s forehead, using her sleeve to wipe dog slobber off his cherub cheeks.

           “Sounds good to me.” Her husband nodded. “Let’s see the goats, eh?” He squeezed Teddy’s hand gently and followed Louise and Paris back to the stables.

           While she untacked and brushed the mare, Alfie brought Teddy over to the pasture fence where a few goats and a mule kept Paris company. The goats bleated as they approached. They usually expected treats when Teddy came over.

           “How’s ‘bout you give them those dandelions?” Alfie pointed to the thatch of grass beside the pasture. “Get the weeds, two birds with one stone, yeah?”

           Teddy crouched down and yanked up the yellow dandelions. He walked over to the goats, who already had their heads poking out between the fence posts, their lips smacking.

           “Careful of their teeth,” Alfie said as Teddy held the dandelions out and let the goats greedily snatch them away. The little boy clapped his hands together with a beaming smile, bits of dirt sticking to his palms. Then he lifted his hand to stick his fingers in his mouth, as toddlers often do. “Ah, ah, no, nasty innit?” His father stopped him. “Come on, let’s get you washed up. Mum will be done soon.”

           As they walked back up the gravel drive to the house, Alfie heard the distinct sound of a car driving up. He wasn’t expecting anyone for a visit so it was highly unusual. He instinctually tensed and scooped up Teddy. His large frame holding him securely, the man always ready to take a barrage of bullets for his son if need be. He peered a bit and saw Tommy Shelby driving up with Johnny Dogs and Charlie in the car with him.

           Alfie relaxed a bit but kept Teddy in his arms just in case he ran off towards the car. He saw a trailer was hooked up to the car, which was just as strange as the Blinder coming to visit unannounced. Since he was retired, there wasn’t much need for interaction with Tommy. But they crossed paths every so often. Some charity events he and Louise attended, they chatted with him. Every so often, Alfie would catch news about Tommy’s business. Legitimate or not. But since the men had left on good terms, and Alfie had stayed true to his word and remained retired, there wasn’t any more bad blood.

           He waited as the car pulled around the circle drive and stopped near the path that led to the stables.

           Tommy got out, Johnny helping Charlie out. “Alfie.” The Shelby walked over to him.

           “Unexpected surprise, nearly put a fucking bullet in your windshield, Tommy,” Alfie said tersely, already forgetting he had to quit swearing in front of Teddy. But Tommy brought out that side of him more often than not. “You could’ve called me beforehand.”

           “Been out all day, didn’t have time.” Tommy smiled when he saw Alfie in his now natural state of being a father. “Hello, Teddy. Look at how big you are. Look like your mum, you do.”

           Alfie always felt a sense of pride when people acknowledged what a precious little thing Teddy was. “Got me eyes though, don't he?”

           “Yeah, can see that.” Tommy nodded in agreement. “Charlie, that’s Teddy, just a bit younger than you.

           His son smiled shyly and remained close to Tommy’s leg. “Hi.” He said softly.

           “Is Louise ‘round? Got a present for the both of you.” Tommy said as a sharp neigh coming from the trailer.

           Louise walked from the stables, tugging off her gloves. “Tommy, what a surprise.” She smiled. “Hi, Charlie. Look at you, handsome boy.” She cooed and remarked at how big the boy had gotten.

           “Mr. Shelby has a present for us,” Alfie told her. “Keeping us in suspense, I s’pose.”

           “Johnny, will you go get him?” Tommy asked and pulled a cigarette out.

           “Don’t smoke around my fucking kid, mate.” The Jewish man grunted firmly.

           Louise put her hands on her hips and gave her husband a look. “Don’t swear around him.”

           Teddy pressed a hand to Alfie’s mouth. “Naughty word!” He scolded.

           Alfie sighed. “Sorry, sorry.”

           Tommy chuckled and tucked the silver container away. “S’your home, I’ll respect that.” Of course, the Blinder found the interaction amusing. Used to be you couldn’t count the number of times Alfie swore in one minute on both hands. Now it appeared domestic bliss was really taking a toll on his vocabulary.

           Alfie grunted and let Teddy down. “Go show Charlie the goats, Ted.” He shooed the boys off but kept an eye on them.

           Johnny came around the trailer leading a handsome, well-built, dark bay stallion.

           “Oh, Tommy, he’s gorgeous.” Louise gasped softly. She approached the horse, stroking his shoulder and inspecting his legs and hooves. He was well-muscled and looked strong.

           “Retired off the track, name’s Birmingham’s Jewel, we call him Burr,” Tommy explained. “Still young though, a thoroughbred mixed with Arabian. I’d like to see if he can sire a few foals, see if any of them could make money on the track.”

           “You want Paris to foal?” Louise asked glancing over at the pastures. Her beloved mare grazing the lush grass, her stunning black coat shining in the sun.

           Alfie frowned and stepped in. He didn’t know much about horses, but he knew enough about wagers and racing to catch on to what Tommy was suggesting. “Hold on, I ain’t letting you use her mare to make you money, mate. Not making ties with you Blinders.”

           Tommy stuck his hands in his pockets. “It’s all perfectly legal, Alfie. No need to fix races anymore.” He explained steadily. “All for sport now. Thinking we could half and half on the horse if it makes it anywhere. May Carleton can train; I’ll pay you for that as well as any other expenses.”

           “Yeah?” Alfie weighed the offer. He knew how much Louise loved horses and figured it might be a joy for her to have foals around. But he still considered it a risk. Anything with Tommy usually was. “Right, what if Lou wants to keep the foal? She can decide whether it races or not, very fond of her horses she is. I think that’s fair if she decides.”

           “It’s okay.” She touched her husband’s arm. “I trust they’ll treat them well on the track. When they’re retired you can bring them here. We have plenty of stall space.”

           “Fair enough.” Tommy nodded. “Meanwhile, you can have Burr to ride. He’s still sound, got hot blood though. Doesn’t spook often but can be strong on the bit.”

           “Hang on, you passing off your devil horse to my wife, Shelby?” Alfie didn’t like the idea of his wife riding a horse with Birmingham blood in him.

           “Alfie…”

           He shook his head calmly. “He’s not dangerous, I’m sure she could handle him.”

           Alfie muttered under his breath something about gypsy horses. But decided it wasn’t worth getting into an argument with the Blinder.

           “I’m sure he’s lovely, I can handle it.” Louise cut off her husband. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Tommy. I’d love Paris to have a beau of her own. Don’t you think, dear?” She gave an extra flutter of her eyelashes to make her husband cave in.

           “That alright with you, Mr. Solomons?” Tommy asked.

           Alfie scratched at his beard. It was painfully difficult to say no to Louise just like it was saying no to his son. Of course, she knew she could get him with those doe-eyes. “S’her decision. But if that beast gives her trouble, you’re taking him back. Won’t have that mess here.”          

           “I can do that.” The two sealed the deal with a spit and shake.

           “Go on and let her in the enclosed paddock, Johnny. I’ll keep them separate until they’ve become acquainted.” Louise suggested and walked over to the fence. “Paris is used to the goats and donkey. But May will sometimes come out for a ride with me. She gets along with the mare that she has.”

           Johnny led Burr over to the paddock and slipped off his halter, letting him loose. Burr took a few cantering strides out into the grass, scoping out his space. His hooves beating strong against the firm ground. He stopped at the fence and took a few laps around the enclosure, his nostrils flaring and ears perked forward in curiosity. His long legs stretched out as he trotted, showing off a bit. His head kept tossing about and he decided to trot over to the fence closest to where Paris was grazing.

           Tommy, Alfie, and Louise watched as Paris lifted her head when the stallion whinnied to her. She dutifully plodded over to him, taking her sweet time through the ankle-high grass. She decided to take a detour, going over to the goats that were eating grass from Charlie and Teddy. The mare nudged the goats aside and stuck her head over the fence to sniff at Teddy, affectionately running her muzzle over his hair.

           Burr looked expectantly and called out again as if to hurry her along. Paris lifted her head and began walking back over. The stallion nickered softly as she came to the fence separating them. He stretched out his neck to try and sniff her. But Paris paused and let out a low snort. Her ears pinned back and she turned away from him, walking away without a second glance.

           Burr whinnied loudly to try and bring her back but she ignored him.

           Alfie was positively chuffed at Paris’s indifference and chuckled. “She’s a heartbreaker, innit she? ‘Fraid it’ll be a while ‘fore you get your foal, Tommy.”

           “Oh, he’s so sweet. I’m sure she’ll warm up to him soon.” Louise nudged her husband. But she did look amused at the interaction.

           Tommy smiled and shook his head. “Well, I guess we’ll see if he wins her over anytime soon.”

           The stallion tried to coax the mare back, pacing up and down the fence, strutting his stuff, his tail lifted to accent his Arabian traits. Without so much as a glance, Paris continued grazing beside the donkey. Burr snorted in frustration but eventually gave up and lowered his head to nibble on the grass.

           “Alfie told me about the elections,” Louise mentioned. “What a responsibility.”

           Tommy nodded and watched Charlie wander over to Johnny who was chatting with the stable hand near the paddock where Burr was held. “Certainly won’t have a lot of free time but it’ll be worth it.”

           “Tommy Shelby, OBE, and MP.” Alfie shook his head. “Knew you were crazy, mate, but not this crazy.”

           “Politics can be used to help people, Alfie,” Tommy replied.

           “Mphf.” He simply grunted. “Whatever you say.”

           Teddy came over and tugged on Alfie’s pant leg. “Daddy, potty.” He requested urgently.

           “Alright, let’s go inside. You two better make sure that Paris don’t kick off.” He chuckled and began to walk Teddy back inside.

           “How’s he doing?” Tommy asked. The Blinder wouldn’t ask Alfie about his condition to his face. Most likely, it would incur wrath or simply a ‘fuck off’. Especially since the man had attempted to die much sooner than God intended.

           Louise sighed. “He hasn’t worsened as much as the doctors expected.” She chewed on her lip and watched Paris out in the pasture. “But he hasn’t gotten any better either. I just thought that…he’s lived longer than they expected. So maybe they got it wrong, or it’s not as serious as they initially said. But he’s still in so much pain. Won’t take medication to help with the aches or his lungs.” She shook her head. “Doesn’t even want to see the doctor anymore. Says he’s just ready to handle it how he handles it.”

           “Well, that’s certainly the man I knew.” Tommy agreed. “He seems happy though, happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

           She smiled and nodded. “I can be thankful for that. I think sometimes I push too hard to look into treatments. I forget that he just wants to spend time with Teddy and me.” She swallowed back tears that were starting to form in her throat. “I just want to give him the most time he can.”

           Tommy felt sympathetic for the woman. Losing Grace was difficult but he wondered if it was worse or better to know that your other half was dying. It couldn’t be easy knowing they were in so much pain. At least Grace went fairly quickly and relatively painlessly as far as he knew. But Louise was watching her husband suffer every day and there wasn’t much she could do about it. Tommy knew what it was like to stand there helplessly. You could call out for help all you wanted but there was no response.

           “Anything I can do?” Tommy asked even though he knew there wasn’t anything he could do within his power.

           “Afraid there isn’t much any of us can do.” She whispered. “As long as he’s happy and he’s living the way he wants to. He knows how he wants to die. I think he’ll know when it’s time, time to go to Margate.” She took a deep breath. Every day she tried to put it out of her mind that she was going to lose Alfie. But it was becoming more and more impossible to turn a blind eye. One night he was nearly in tears because of how much pain he was in. She often stayed up late some nights, just watching him breathe, hoping, praying he’ll keep breathing.

           “Mummy!” Teddy came running back outside across the gravel path.

           Louise wiped away the sadness on her face and bent down to pick up her son. “Hi, love.” She kissed his cheek.

           Alfie lagged behind, not able to keep up with Teddy’s pace anymore. He relied more on his cane those days and had a harder time breathing. But nevertheless, he persisted.

           “Mummy, new horse!” Teddy pointed at Burr.

           “Yes, isn’t he handsome? Let’s go say hello.” She offered and walked over to Johnny and the groom.

           “Be careful,” Alfie called after her. He didn’t want the unfamiliar horse chomping off a few of Teddy’s little fingers.

           “You’re living the dream, aye, Alfie?” Tommy asked and held out his cigarette pack as if asking for permission.

           “Yeah, yeah.” He nodded and let the Brummie light up a cigarette. “S’pose I am. Cancer isn’t ideal.” The Jewish man shrugged as if he didn’t give a care about the diagnosis. An obvious coping tactic that could be attributed to the man’s past behavior of being indifferent towards death. But there was no mistaking the obvious heartache that Alfie felt for leaving his beloved family behind.

           “If there’s any way I can help…” Tommy offered.

           Alfie narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Mate, if you make a move on me wife after I’m dead, I’ll fucking rise from my grave and strangle you. I can fucking promise you that.” He jabbed a finger at the man who was notorious for being a womanizer.

           Tommy just chuckled and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, Alfie, you know that.” He replied.

           He grumbled. “I guess I sometimes worry about people taking advantage of her.” He admitted with a disgruntled sigh. “She’s smart, but I’ve still got enemies out there who probably love to think that she’s an easy target.”

           “Well, she’s still under the Peaky Blinders’ protection.” He informed him. “We don’t forget our debts. She paid us for protection a long time ago but it still stands.”

           Alfie was a little surprised that the man remembered the payment all those years later. In a way, he was grateful that the Blinders rarely forgot a deal. Perhaps they could offer him another measure of peace that she would be protected. “No messing about with her? ‘Cause I’ve got people in Camden who’ll still watch over her too. Family who would be mighty unhappy if they found out you were taking money from her.”

           “I’m a man of my word, Alfie.” Tommy glanced over at him with a firm nod. “We’ll keep an eye on her, by order of the Peaky Blinders.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     “Dad, what’re you writing?”

           It was summer in Margate. Teddy, now five-years-old, had wandered into the little study. Louise and Alfie had to make a few adjustments to the cottage, adding an extension to make a little bit more room for the three of them and three dogs. Now Teddy had his own room and Alfie had a cozy office. Not that he had much paperwork to do anymore. But he liked overseeing finances and documents at a desk; it made him feel more like himself.

           Alfie glanced up over his half-moon glasses. A small smile formed on his face. Teddy must’ve gotten bored with baking with Louise. “Writing a letter.” He answered and beckoned his son over.

           The young boy rounded the desk and crawled up onto Alfie’s lap. “Why? Can’t you just call ‘em on the telephone?” He asked.

           “You youngins and your technology.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m writing a letter to you, mate.”

           “To me?” A funny look crossed Teddy’s face as he looked up at his father. “Why? I’m right here.”

           Alfie put the paper aside and found the envelope he’d already pulled out. “See that?” He pointed to the words written on the front of the cream envelope. “Says it’s addressed to Theodore Tovi Solomons.” He read out, the tip of his finger tracing under each word so Teddy could follow along. “To be read on his eighteenth birthday.”

           Teddy frowned. “Eighteen? But that’s a long ways away. That’s ‘lmost how old you are!” He exclaimed.

           “Well, I’m flattered.” Alfie smiled and tousled his hair. “But you’ll hafta wait. Can’t read it ‘til then. See that, September sixteenth, 1944. That’s the day you turn eighteen, innit?”

           “That’s like a million years away.” He groaned. “Can’t I just read it now?”

           “Trust me, time goes a lot faster than you think. You’ll be eighteen ‘fore you know it and you’ll be able to read it. F’ya read it now you’ll just be bored.”

           Teddy sighed and rested back against Alfie. “Kay.” He gave in. “What’re we gonna do on my birthday?”

           Alfie wished more than anything he could be there. But his cancer was ready to take him, he could feel it. Breathing was becoming more and more agonizing with each passing day. He was in constant pain and there was little to relieve it. Some parts of his skin looked like it was being eaten away.

           “Whatever you want, Ted.”

           “It’ll be fun. Birthdays are always fun. Mum makes me chocolate cake.” Teddy rambled on, fiddling with the pen Alfie had left on the desk.

           “Yeah, she does.”

           “You get me presents. Maybe when I’m eighteen you can get me a horse of my own.” He beamed up at his father.

           Alfie smiled and nodded. He was positive Louise would continue to spoil Teddy after he was gone. So giving him a horse wasn’t too far fetched. “Sure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

           Although there wasn’t much Alfie could do to alleviate his pain, he did enjoy the salt air. It might’ve just been psychological, but whenever he was out on the beach, he felt just a tad bit better. He could breathe easier and the sound of the waves could pull his thoughts away from the ache in his bones.

           When they were at Margate, if Louise couldn’t find Alfie in the house, she was guaranteed to find him outside. Down the dunes, past the pier, standing by the shore. Cyril by his side.

           After Teddy turned five, Cyril lost most of the energy he had left. Alfie said dogs his size rarely lived past eight-years-old so it was a miracle he was going on eleven.

           One morning, Louise woke Alfie up in a panic. Cyril was lying on the end of their bed and it didn’t look like he was breathing. Alfie simply nudged the mastiff with his foot and he awoke, tail wagging happily.

           Louise wasn’t ready to lose either of them. But she did everything she could to contain her worry and grief. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Teddy or make Alfie feel guilty. She learned to simply take each day at a time. And when that failed, she started to go by every hour, then every minute. All she had was that minute. Alfie and Cyril were fine and alive. She had them forever in that moment. The minutes and hours and days ahead were unknown. All she had was a minute. A second even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Late one night, Louise woke to find the bed next to her empty. It wasn’t uncommon. Alfie often got up to walk or simply sit on the beach. Sometimes the pain was too much to stay in bed. Apparently, he’d left Cyril behind because the mastiff could be heard snoring from Teddy’s room.

           Louise slipped on a thin sweater over her nightgown and walked outside. She traveled down the well-worn path through the dunes, passing by the spot where he’d proposed to her.

           Alfie was standing by the shore. The moon was nearly full and there wasn’t a cloud in the night sky. The beach was illuminated enough to see his figure. The moon reflected off the calm waves that lapped at the shore. The sand still held some of its warmth from soaking up the summer sun all day.

           “Alfie…” Louise called a few feet away from him so she wouldn’t startle him. She knew he would be deep in his thoughts.

           The man turned and smiled when he saw his wife. “Cyril’s snoring wake you up?” He reached out a hand to her.

           “I think so.” She giggled and took his hand. “Or maybe I could sense you’d left.”

           “Maybe.” He’d discarded his coat onto the sand, unnecessary in the warm air. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying some of the worst of his cancer. He used his cane to lower himself to the sand. Louise followed, curling up beside him as he stretched his legs out. He let out a long sigh, inhaling the salty air.

           “Have you finished your letter to Teddy yet?” She asked quietly. The two had talked about his legacy, as hard as it was. But they agreed that Alfie would write a letter to Teddy and she’d give it to him when the boy turned eighteen. That way, Alfie could explain a few things in his own words.

           “Just about.” Her husband nodded. “It’s hard, I’m worried I’ll leave something out.” He admitted and wrapped an arm around her.

           “You’ll make sure to add everything you need to. You’ve already spent at least a month on it.” She reminded him.

           “Just want it to be perfect.”

           Louise hummed in agreement and cuddled closer into his side. She looked up at the clear stars up above them. “Maybe we become stars when we’ve passed.” She whispered.

           “Stars?” Alfie tilted his head to see where she was looking.

           She shrugged. “Maybe. So that we can always look down on the people who miss us.”

           Alfie didn’t expect much after death. His religion was more focused on what you did during your lifetime rather than what happened after it. But he didn’t want to tell Louise that he wouldn’t be there for her. Because whether it was just a thought, he wanted to always be in the back of her mind. Whether it was selfish or not, Alfie didn’t like the feeling of leaving her behind. So he didn’t plan on it.

           “That’d be nice.” He agreed quietly and kissed her cheek. “I’d like that.”

           “Yeah, me too.” She looked away from the constellations and pressed into the crook of his arm.

           “Or maybe you go back to a time you’ve really enjoyed. Reliving that moment over and over again.” Alfie mused. “What’d that be? What’s your favorite moment?”

           His wife was quiet for a moment, sifting through all the lovely memories she had with him. “The moment you held Teddy for the first time. The love I saw in your eyes. It was perfect. I was so worried when I found out I was pregnant; I was worried you would doubt yourself as a father. But I saw it in your eyes that you didn’t doubt yourself. You knew how to be a father. It was just in your blood.”

           Alfie had to walk himself through a few deep breaths. His chest had tightened so much that he was afraid he would lose his cool if he spoke. Finally, he composed himself, focusing on Louise’s steady breathing. “Y-yeah…I’d pick that moment too.”

           “Good.” She sniffled and dabbed her eyes. “I’ll see you there then.” Her whisper barely rose above the sound of the gentle waves.

           “See you there, love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

//So next part will be the epilogue. I have a few one shots revolving around the Burned universe so to speak that I can post afterward. 

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Masterpost

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[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Don’t Trust the Lady, Chapter Three-Peaky Blinders Series

Requested: No

Warnings: angst

A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone for so long! College has been insane! 

 That night I looked good, real good. I used the time after the meeting with Alfie to comb all the shops in London for the best dresses and makeup. When I got back to the hotel, I spent hours getting ready. It was typical for me to take my time to look good for social events, but usually they were more glamorous than having dinner with a gangster. However, dinner with Alfie was a special occasion.

  The sleeveless magenta Elsa Schiaparelli dress I’d bought accentuated my slim build as well as my dark skin. My black hair was in soft waves that rested just below my chin. I slipped on my camel coat and left for Alfie’s place.

   Alfie’s home was simple and not too far off from the bakery. It wasn’t extremely lavish or gaudy as some gangster’s houses are. The house was mostly bare save for some neutral colored furniture in the parlor and sitting rooms. He was wearing a different shirt than he had been earlier, but not a jacker nor a hat. In fact, he answered the door with a white apron tied around his waist and quirked an eyebrow at me.

   “You’re early,” Alfie said. 

   “I’m usually fashionably late, but if I did that for tea, they’d always be cold,” I said.

   Alfie nodded and stepped aside. “Well, tea’s almost on.”    I walked inside and let him take my coat off my shoulders. “Smells like bread.”

  “Happens.” Alfie paused. “You look nice for dinner.”

   I half-smiled. “Thank you, Alfie. What’d you make for dinner?” 

   “A roast.”

   “S’not Sunday.” 

   “You can have roast at any time, sweetheart.”

   I hesitated. “I know that, I’m just used to waiting till Sunday to enjoy one. Waiting for things makes finally getting them so much sweeter.” 

   “S’pose it can, but doin’ what ya want when ya want is a fine way to live.”

   “Of course.” 

    Alfie was never tense that night. He told stories and spoke around business over tea. He did not speak with his mouth full-----something I half expected him to do. I did my best to steer him towards business, but he was certainly not biting. On the other hand, the best part of my job was the dance----the dance of conversation, that is. There was something exhilarating about the other person not having the slightest idea of my intentions. By the time they realized what I’d done---if they realized what I’d done---it was too late. One would assume that Alfie would know what I was on about since he worked with so many “bad” people, but I’d gotten my way with men like Alfie before.

   “That must have been astounding,” I said.

   “I’d hardly call the war astounding, but I suppose that story was,” Alfie said before having some whiskey.

   “No, I’ve always thought the war was horrid, absolutely horrid.” I swished the wine around in my glass. “The...the dread of knowing a dear friend or family member had gone to fight and never knowing if they were all right or if they’d come back. “

    The wine was dry but it went alright with the roast. I looked down at my half eaten food, forcing myself to look pitiful. It wasn’t too hard to pull off considering the best way to tell a lie was to insert a bit of the truth.

    “I heard that Tommy and the rest of ‘em fought in the war,” Alfie griped. 

    “Yes, they did.”

     “But so did someone else you knew.”

     “Yes, my brother----he was older, Tommy’s age, actually.”

    “What was his name?”

    “Edward, but everyone who was mates with ‘im called him Eddy. He was tall, dark, and handsome as well as one of the smartest people I knew. When he got drafted, he and Tommy promised me that they’d come back. I prayed and hoped every day he would come home.” I hesitated. “Then, the train came in and Eddy didn’t come off it. Tommy told me that Eddy had been killed in a tunneling explosion and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

     “I’m sorry, love.”

     “Did you kill him?”

     “No.”

     “Then you have nothing to be sorry about.” I finished the rest of the wine. “Is there a particular reason as to why you gave me wine?” 

     “Women like wine.” 

     “Most wines but not all women solely drink wine. I, for example, wouldn’t have minded gin or whiskey.”

    “No rum?”

    “Not the piss you make.”

    It was a risk and for a second, my heart lept up to my throat. Then, Alfie’s mouth broke into a smile and he chuckled. 

    “I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you have that, love, but don’t think you’ll get to go around talkin’ about my product like that.” 

     “I wouldn’t dream of it. Could I have some more?” I lifted my glass.

     “Course.” Alfie re-filled my glass.  

     I took another sip and watched Alfie take a sip of his third glass of whiskey. One rule of thumb I’d learn to follow was to never match the other person in drinks. One should always stay one and a half behind the other person in order to keep one’s head.

     “So, Alfie, I believe the time has come for me to ask you just why you invited me to dinner.” 

     Alfie’s expression grew more serious as he leaned forward on his forearms. “As I said before, I wanted to get to know the woman I’ll be working closely with for the forseeable future.” 

    “You have no ulterior motives?”

    “No.” 

    “I find that hard to believe. Everyone has an ulterior motive, even if they don’t know it.”

    “Then what’s yours?” 

    “I saw this as an opportunity to get to know the man I will be working so closely with for the forseeable future. Also, I wanted to take advantage of the free meal.” 

    “You are an interesting woman, Theodora.”

    “Thank you.” 

    “Theodora, where does a girl get a name like that?” 

    “My father read a lot and he came across it in a book of short stories.” 

    “Hm, and no one calls you by anything different?” 

    “My brother called me Teddy and it stuck.”

    Alfie lit a cigarette and leaned back into his seat. “Teddy and Eddy, what a pair.”

    “Yes, we once were.” I sipped some more wine, feeling my mind wander a bit. “Why rum? You could sell anything to America---vodka, whiskey, beer, gin---but you chose rum.”

    “The only other place they can get rum is from the Caribbean and it’s a far riskier operation than buyin’ from me.” 

    “Ah, but you could still serve to learn something from those Caribbeans. Rum should be sweeter than what you’re selling.”

    “They drink what I give ‘em and they like it. Takes more time to distill sweeter rum anyway. The way I run the distillery is like a tight ship and one change,” Alfie held up one finger, “could make it fall apart.”

     “Distillery’s a delicate thing,” I said. 

     “’S practically a glass house.” 

     Alfie had no idea that he had just shown his trump card to me, but if he did, he was better at my game than I was. My stomach churned at the fact that I would have to tell Tommy everything once I got back to the hotel and I usually never felt that way. If anything, I felt giddier than Christmas morning. I shouldn’t be feeling this way, especially since I barely knew Alfie.

     The rest of the night was civilized and I thanked Alfie after dessert for tea.

     “It was lovely and I appreciate it.” 

     “I appreciate it as well, love. You could’ve been out at the pub gettin’ any bloke you want but you stayed in with me.”

     “It wasn’t so bad, sometimes the pubs are as dull as the dead.” 

     He walked me to the car and kissed the top of my hand goodnight. A shiver ran up my spine as I slid into the car and leaned my head against the seat. 

     I could not and would not continue feeling this way about Alfie. Sure, he had brute strength and was handsome in his own right, but he was business partners with Tommy and I had to remain professional around him. Besides, Alfie was not the kind of man I preferred.

   Twenty minutes later, I was walking over to Tommy’s suite and knocked on the door. There was a bit of rustling before he opened the door.

   “What?” The door was barely open and he was blocking my line of vision. To most people, Tommy still looked neat but his hair was too mussed to have been done on his own. 

    I gritted my teeth involuntarily. “I just got back from Alfie’s and wanted to give you my report.” 

   “Fine, we can do this later.” 

   When I looked away, I saw it: a flash of curled blonde hair. I knew that hair like the back of my hand. The woman who owned the head of hair had been the bane of my existence and ruined everything. My heart thudded in my ears and everything moved slowly as I managed to brush past Tommy. There she was, sitting on the velvet couch, wearing a blue silk dress and looking shameful: Grace bloody Burgess.

    “Grace, I believe congratulations are in order,” I said facetiously. 

    “Hello, Teddy,” she said quietly, her eyes aimed on her hands in her lap.

    “Teddy, get out,” Tommy said.

    “No, Tom, I’m quite fine here seein’ as I’m supposed to be here. You’re not supposed to be here, are you, Grace?” I asked as I took a step closer. “No, you’re supposed to be with that fine American man you married. He’s extremely respectable where he’s from.”

    Grace’s eyes snapped up to peer into mine. “How did you know that?” 

    “I have connections everywhere. I had connections at the museum where you and Campbell used to rendezvous back when you worked for him.”

    “That’s enough, Teddy,” Tommy said.

    “No, it isn’t.” 

    Grace stood. “You should listen to Tommy.”

    “Do not tell me what to do.” I stepped closer to her. “I suggest you leave now.”

     “Or what? You’ll kill me.”

     “I would never waste a manicure on you. However, I do have ways of getting information to anyone and everyone I please.”

    Grace’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

    “Do not test me. I told you to leave and never come back a year ago and here you are, back with him. Don’t you see that you ruin ‘im? That all you’ll ever do is ruin ‘im? He does not need you.”

     “Teddy!” 

     “If I ever catch you in Small Heath or near him again, you will wish that you never left Ireland.” 

     Slowly, Grace grabbed her things and walked out of the suite. Tommy was absolutely seething, but I couldn’t have cared less. He would never lay a hand on me unless he wanted Polly, John, and Arthur taking turns strangling him. That was why when he whirled around once Grace left, I didn’t move from my place. He stormed over to me, the anger rising in his face. 

    “That was none of your business!” Tommy snapped.

    “It was all of my business, Tommy! She was using you to get information and take the whole family down, me included! She’s only back because her husband isn’t exciting or dangerous-----she does not really care about you!” I snapped.

    “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!’

    “YES, I DO!” I breathed and shook my head at him. “People like us don’t get to be happy, Tom. We don’t get to fall in love and care about people----not when all we do is rob, kill, and destroy our enemies.”

    “Who told you that?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

    “You did.” I swallowed thickly since the tension brewing between us was practically suffocating. Grace had always been a point of tension between Tommy and me since she became a barmaid. I didn’t trust her and I was right to. So, when the time was right, I told her to leave Small Heath and never look back unless she wanted her life ripped away from her. She’d tried to appear strong and accused me of being jealous of her and Tom, but the next day, she was gone. Sure, Tommy was upset and withdrawn for a long time, but he got over it. He would have been completely over her if she hadn’t found out that he was in London.  

    Tommy sighed and poured himself a drink. “What makes you think I didn’t call her over here?” 

    “Because you didn’t know she was in the country and I did.” 

    Tommy narrowed his eyes at me but said nothing. “What do you have on Solomons?” 

   “He didn’t give me much besides some war stories, but the distillery is a glass house. One rock thrown at it will make it shatter into bits.” 

   Tommy nodded and took another drink. “Imagine what a grenade would do.”

   “Irreparable damage.” 

   Of course, I immediately knew that Tommy was going to throw a grenade into the distillery or, at the very least, make a threat to do so. A part of me wanted to warn Alfie, but a larger, more logical part of me told me to keep quiet and do my job. Destroying other people’s businesses was not my expertise anyway.