#Dracula: ‘Yesterday I dreamed about forcing him to talk with me until dawn while I implied his dinner was made with leftover child meat.’

[see-arcane]

After rebbloging that comic now I think that a good horror-comedy adaptation would include the Weird Sisters giving Dracula the "honestly what the fuck is wrong with you" face in a scene about the Count doing something to torment Jonathan.

On the one hand, they’re probably used to some version of this. They got Dracula’s creep mode treatment too once upon a time. Comes with the gothic horror damsel territory.

But now the Count’s getting Weird-weird about this guy. Who literally just came over to sell a house. And he did it! House sold! Great!

TWS: “So you’re letting him go in a week or so?”

Dracula: “No, he’s staying a month.”

TWS: “…Why?”

Dracula: “For psychological torment reasons. And nothing else.”

TWS: “Wh—“

Dracula: “ALSO YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM TOUCHING HIM. DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT HIM. EVER.”

…Okay, whatever. But then they actually See young and strong Mr. Harker in person on his little napping chaise and dots start connecting like 👀👀👀

Followed by Dracula getting Extra Mad when they try to get a bite of that sweet English countryside. Full snarling THIS MAN BELONGS TO ME mode (👀👀👀!!!) Then:

Dracula: “Also he is staying for two months now. You can have him AFTER I’m done doing. Important business things. With him.”

TWS: “Oh? What business is that? :) :) :)”

Dracula, sweating: “None of your concern shut up and eat your sack o’ baby”

tl;dr: I think it’d be less concern from the Weird Sisters and more of them being in an ongoing state of heckling Dracula for his psychosexual torture crush on the cute real estate agent he won’t let leave and can’t stop thinking about* (*intimate torments for <3)