#Doofy is still my number one but I love the other two as well <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lieutenantselnia]

Updated my header image so it includes all 3 of my faves :3

I love my sad evil men and they deserve more attention <3

[recurring-polynya]

Bollywood Review Time!

Today, I am going to talk about Om Shanty Om, a very good movie that was Not For Me.

Let me back up. People recommend stuff to me a lot and I try to watch it and talk about it, and I always feel bad when I don’t like it. This one was recommended to me by my friend @serene-faerie​ I want to make it very clear that you, reader, may like this film very much! It was a strange perfect storm of Things I Don’t Care For, and I actually rather enjoyed the experience of picking apart what I didn’t like about from what I did, because honestly, I am always interested in the ways stories are told and what stories say about themselves.

Cut for spoilers and also length

First off the bat-- this is not a film for the Bollywood beginner. It’s sort of a meta-narrative, with a ton of cameos from famous stars and jokes about Bollywood tropes and directors and such. There’s a ten-minute dance number in the middle that’s just famous people showing up to get down and everybody cheers every time someone new rolls in. I have only actually seen a handful of Bollywood films, mostly made after this one (it was made in 2007), and I could tell that there were a ton of gags and references that flew over my head. I got the sense, both from watching it, and from reading reviews, that this was all very well done and funny, I just didn’t have the proper frame of reference to appreciate it.

The main character, Om, is played by Shah Rukh Khan, an incredibly famous Bollywood star whom I had never heard of before watching this film. In the beginning, Om is a somewhat-bumbling movie extra, dreaming of stardom, flipping his hair, and falling in love with a beautiful starlet on a billboard. I… was not taken in by his charms. I feel like I really missed out by not knowing who Shah Rukh Khan was ahead of time. That was sort of an interesting thought to me-- that a famous actor brings the good will of all his previous roles to a movie with him, and that it was very interesting to me to watch a film stripped of that context. I was literally shocked when halfway through the film, he rips off his shirt and had killer abs, I was absolutely not expecting it.

The deal of the movie is that, through a series of coincidences, Om meets Shanti, the actress of his dreams (from the billboard). She is played by Deepika Padukone, who I fell for immediately. She is gorgeous and had a ton of charisma. This movie seems like it’s going to be a love story, but it really isn’t. Shanti is charmed by Om’s sweetness, but she’s already in a doomed secret marriage with a scumbag director, Mukesh, who ends up murdering her when she wants him to publicly acknowledge her, which is kinda time sensitive, because she is pregnant. Mukesh had planned to have her star in a lavish movie spectacle called Om Shanti Om, but when she forces his hand, he burns the set down with her locked inside. Om witnesses all this; he tries to save her and dies in the process.

Om happens to die in the same hospital where a famous director’s child is being born, and he is reincarnated as the baby, and grows up to have the life he always wanted-- that of a Bollywood superstar. His name is still Om, but his nickname is O.K., so I am going to call him that to distinguish between 1977 Om and 2007 Om. He meets Mukesh again who is now a super-successful Hollywood producer. O.K. gets all the memories of his past life back, and decides to Get Revenge by proposing to do a remake of Om Shanti Om. He finds a wanna-be actress, Sandy, who looks exactly like Shanti, and has her haunt the set in order to make Mukesh think he is going crazy (and maybe also confess? It’s not a terribly clear-cut plan). You might think that Sandy is the reincarnation of Shanti, but Shanti’s ghost shows up in the grand finale of the film, so I guess she wasn’t?? You also might expect O.K. and Sandy to have some romantic feelings, but they really don’t, and in fact, O.K. is actually pretty mean to Sandy, even though she is extremely sweet and I don’t see how anyone could possibly be mean to her.

The movie is lush. The costumes are elaborate, the sets are lavish, the dance numbers are many and long. There is not a single scene without an off-screen fan to dramatically tousle the actors’ hair. I actually rather liked the last act of the movie where they were gaslighting Mukesh and it was over-the-top, scenery-chewing, Hamlet--play-with-in-a-play madness. A chandelier falls on someone. A lot of the end doesn’t even make a lot of sense or exist in any sort of linear time, cutting between the film-within-a-film and dance numbers and what’s “really happening” and I really had no problem with any of this. I actually really liked the amount of meta that was happening and the breakdown of boundaries, and I found the end to be reasonably satisfying.

So what didn’t I like about it?

The entire film relies on you being charmed by Om and I did not care for him. We all have this set of trope personality types that we enjoy and fall for, and “young person who dreams of making it big on the stage/screen” is a huge swipe left for me. Give me a stolid second-in-command who has been stationed at an ice wall for 30 years to protect his homeland. A incredibly tired dude muttering “fuck” as he wades into a swamp to fight a bog zombie, because who else is gonna? My dude turn-ons include duty and self-sacrifice and really good posture. I couldn’t watch Naruto because everyone spouted off about “their dreams” too much, and I thought Om should have cut his losses and gotten a real job. I am who I am.

There’s a weird fine line between “meta,” that is, stories about storytelling and presentation and media, and movies about being in love with making movies. I like the former a lot and I do not care for the latter one bit. I did stage crew for a high school production of 42nd Street and I have a very distinct memory of thinking “this is a play about putting on a play. Why on earth would anyone who is not an actor want to watch this?” I also hate books where the main character is a writer (yes, Stephen King, this is a call-out). I also hate biopics about musicians and actors. I honestly do not care about the craft, and the “magic of cinema” has never been a thing I have found remotely compelling. 

What I love about reincarnation storylines is the period where the characters recognize the feelings and memories that are tied to their previous lives-- where they see someone and can feel their old emotions for this person, but without knowing why. This is where I live. I eat this with a spoon. I want this to prolong the emotional burn, because the characters don't know what are their own feelings and what comes from their past lives, and that there are conflicts that must be resolved for both lifetimes. Alternatively, you can also use a reincarnation storyline to skip the emotional burn entirely, by just having the character “get all their memories back in one fell swoop.” This is… the opposite of what I want. This is what Om Shanty Om does. I felt deeply cheated.

Relatedly, the entire theme of the movie was "When you want something badly, the whole universe conspires to give to you", a sentiment I wholeheartedly disagree with. I love stories about the conflict between agency and destiny, I think this is a really meaty subject, but once again, the movie used it as an excuse to let the characters sit back and do nothing and have a solution to their problems drop into their laps. I am sure you could make an argument for the charm of this viewpoint, but it is not for me.

I like dance numbers all right, but they are not why I watch Bollywood films. This movie is over two hours long and a lot of it was dance numbers. I was very tired of dance numbers by the end. That being said, the titular song was a bop and I had it stuck in my head for days. “Disco of Distress” was my second favorite.

I do not really feel a lot of nostalgia for the late 1970s, which is when the first half of the film takes place. If noisy patterns and kitsch and big winks and goofy hair is your period aesthetic, you will enjoy this part a lot!

Here’s what I did like!

Sunglasses. There were so many good sunnies in this film. So many. A parade of excellent shades.

Deepika Padukone. She is so adorable, for one, and she charmed me in every way that Shah Rukh Khan did not. I loved her both as the melancholy starlet Shanti and the doofy, gum-chewing Sandy, and also the Angry Revenge Ghost at the end. I would say this movie is 75% Om and 25% Shanti, and I would have liked it a lot better if it were the other way around. Sandy had basically no agency whatsoever; the second half of the plot was basically about O.K. getting revenge on Mukush... mostly for himself? I liked that the first half of the movie didn’t make Shanti fall in love with the puppy-like Om just because he was devoted to her, but it would have been a nice reversal if the jaded O.K. had softened toward Sandy more in the second act, and that there had been a bit of a love story to temper the revenge plot.

The idea of the plot. The plot described in words is very cool to me, and there was a period of about 3 minutes in the film when O.K. recognizes Om’s mother when I got real excited about where this was going, and then I realized it wasn’t going where I wanted and was sad again. I think I might have liked it better if the movie started out with O.K. and revealed Om’s story slowly, through flashback, but nothing about this movie catered to my narrative aesthetic, so I eventually gave up with ways of trying to fix it.

Anyway, as I said, I can definitely see how someone could love this movie! If you are a big Bollywood buff and you love dance numbers and silliness and Shah Rukh Khan, I would recommend it in a second! It was strangely almost tailor-made to hit some of my pet peeves, and I was mad because I wanted to like it more than I did.

That’s my review! @serene-faerie​ I hope you still love me even though I didn’t like your movie. I am always trying to expand my movie knowledge and I learned a lot watching this one, and I don’t regret watching it, even though it wasn’t my fave.

[entergamingxp]

Ultimate Knockout Review — Don’t Get Eliminated!

August 6, 2020 2:30 PM EST

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout is a joy to play, fun for all levels of video game players, and will only get better from here.

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout was always going to hold a special place in my heart. Around the time my late grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, the two of us got really into the Japanese version of Ninja Warrior and Ultimate Banzuke. I would come home from college and we’d spend all day watching marathons on G4. So, seeing someone make a video game partially based on my last good memories with my grandpa was pretty awesome. What makes it even better is that Fall Guys is really good.

If you haven’t seen Fall Guys in action, it’s a 60-player battle royale. Except, instead of trying to murder your fellow blob men, you’re hoping to outrace or outlast them in the most ridiculous virtual game show since Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax.

The game currently has about 25 stages that range from races through falling, giant fruit to a four-team version of tag to several climatic last stages. My favorite of which will remind 90s kids of afternoons watching GUTs on Nick. It’s a smorgasbord of absurdity that is a joy to play.

Each round, a certain number of players are eliminated. As far as I can tell, that number changes based on which stage you’re on. I’ve made the final stage several times and almost always had a different number of new frienemies joining me. I assume there are maths involved, but who really has the time for that?

“Fall Guys takes minutes to learn and then gamers of all sorts can hop in for some good times.”

For most competitive games, tight controls are of utmost importance. You never want to feel like you don’t have control over an outcome in a game of Rainbow Six Siege. Sure, you might get outplayed, but you can understand why.

In comparison, Fall Guys is a floaty mess. The little jelly bean people flop all over the place. You point the stick in a direction, but the little dudes feel like they’re reluctantly meandering in the direction you’re pointing rather than you having full control. That left stick is more a suggestion to them.

On paper, that sounds terrible. But somehow, like magic, it works. Between the art, the premise, and just the general vibe Fall Guys gives off, this is a game where you can fail into success. If you had more control over your jelly bean, it just wouldn’t be as special.

Now, to be clear, there is involved. Good players will absolutely have a leg up in most instances. However, the floaty controls and randomness of the levels ensure that everyone has a chance. For me, that’s a big selling point. Fall Guys takes minutes to learn and then gamers of all sorts can hop in for some good times.

Of course, it’s not a perfect game. Fall Guys had some serious server issues on launch day.  At the time of this writing, they’re getting much better though aren’t completely ironed out. That said, when you’re a small indie studio whose game hits the #1 most-watched slot on Twitch your first day out of the gate, it’s to be expected. I’m not going to knock them for it because I fully expect them to work it out by the weekend. However, it’s worth mentioning.

My actual issues are, frankly, minuscule. The camera can be a little wonky at times. I think the way your jelly bean person falls down when they jump from too high makes See Saw more of a crapshoot than it should be. At least, I think that’s what’s happening. It’s not completely clear, but it is frustrating. And the game has microtransactions in addition to charging an upfront fee (if you don’t get it through PS Plus).

That last one is a bit of a personal sticking point for me. Sure, the things you can buy are purely cosmetic. However, charging an upfront fee and having MTX and utilizing a battle pass just seems like too much. So, while buying Kudos (the game’s currency) isn’t as scummy as something like buying packs in FIFA 20, it’s still something I don’t love. Though it does help the devs keep working on the game for the foreseeable future. Which leaves me a bit torn on how to feel about it. You and your wallet will have to make your own decision on that front.

“[Fall Guys] is just sublime.”

With those small things out of the way, there’s one more “problem” I want to bring up. Obviously, Mediatonic had to stop building out the game at some point to actually ship something. That said, this game is begging for a local multiplayer mode. The pure glee I would have sitting on the couch and playing with my friends is off the charts. You can join parties and play together online, but it’s just not the same. If Fall Guys were playable locally, it would finally be the game that supplants Gang Beasts in my group’s rotation.

In almost every other way, the game is just sublime. I mean, look at the levels on offer. Of the 20+ there is maybe one stinker (Hoopsie Daisy is just so meh). Other than that, they are all great.

Levels are broken into three basic categories: Race, Survival, or Team. Then, there are three others that can serve as the game’s end. As far as I can tell, you always start with one of the races. While the goal (making it to the end) is always the same, no two races feel anywhere close to similar.

One has you mastering spinning discs. Another is just a series of doors. Some of them open, others don’t. You have to make your way through as quickly as possible. Sadly, there’s no giant samurai man waiting to spook the pants off of you. Yet another is just a huge series of tiles. Seems easy, but most of them fall out from under you. You have to find the secret path to the end to make it.

From there, every other level is thrown into the hopper and one is randomly selected. In my early time, I feel like I’m seeing a good bit of variety, though some levels don’t seem to pop up until you make it to later rounds.

“Seriously, just take Fall Ball on its own and it’s some of the most fun I’ve had playing video games in 2020.”

Which is a shame. Games like Fall Ball would be a riot if you had huge teams. The game is basically Rocket League without cars. Technically, that’s just soccer. However, since you’re using your body as a homing missile to kick the ball around, Rocket League seems like the more apt comparison. Also, there are two balls on the field. And sometimes the ball is a football. It’s wonderful.

Seriously, just take Fall Ball on its own and it’s some of the most fun I’ve had playing video games in 2020. It might be the most exhilarating 90 seconds I’ve ever experienced. Which, maybe is an indictment on my thirst for adventure, but whatever. Heck, I nearly had a heart attack on a video we put up during the beta.

Then you add in 20 or so more games and you might as well forget about it. Fall Guys is absolutely the game fans of shows like Takeshi’s Castle, Ninja Warrior, and It’s a Knockout have been dreaming about.

It’s like the team at Mediatonic took those shows, added a wacky color palette, and then just mixed it all together until they could bake a cake made out of pure bliss. Even in defeat, I always have this doofy grin on my face. Sitting here typing out this review, all I can think about is playing more Fall Guys.

Truly, that’s what you should take from all this. Fall Guys is, by far, the most fun game that’s released this year. Maybe even this console generation. It’s also something that’s going to hold a special place in my heart for recapturing the pure joy I had sitting down with grandpa on a Saturday afternoon ready to see how Makoto Nagano and the Sasuke All-Stars would do in this year’s version of Ninja Warrior.

So, in a year full of big releases like The Last of Us Part 2 and games that are uniquely up my alley like Desperados 3, it’s hard to see anything beating out Fall Guys as my favorite game of 2020. And remember what we always say: “Don’t get eliminated!”

August 6, 2020 2:30 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/08/ultimate-knockout-review-dont-get-eliminated/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ultimate-knockout-review-dont-get-eliminated

[satelliteofmstielove]

K18 The Million Eyes of Sumuru

                                 Like Fu Manchu, but with more sexism!

General notes

          So, sorry it took me like four months to get this next entry out. School got busy faster than I expected. But last time it was almost a year and a half, so at least there’s that…anyway…

          The Million Eyes of Sumuru is a 1967 British spy film about a scary lady and her army of scary ladies. It’s based on a book series by Sax Rohmer, a man whose name sounds like the title of a film-noir western about a jazz musician wandering in the desert. He also wrote the Fu Manchu books, which explains a lot. Also, it was directed by a guy named Lindsey. This movie includes some celebrities (sort of- does Frankie Avalon count as a celebrity?) and was produced by our other Castle of Fu Manchu friend, Harry Alan TOOOOOWEEEEERRRRRRRSSS. Wilfrid Hyde-White is in this, he played Colonel Pickering in the movie version of My Fair Lady. (I only mention that because I somehow didn’t recognize him until most of the way into this movie, even though I’ve seen My Fair Lady several times.) It also stars George Nader, from the famous and hilariously terrible Robot Monster, which we’ll get to watch later on in Season 1.

          The main interesting note about this episode is that Tom Servo leaves partway through the movie. Again, it’s a case of Josh needing to be somewhere at the same time they were taping. He’s still in the host segments, because they always taped those before the movie part. Now, let’s get to Sumuru. (I don’t have a link for this one because it’s not on YouTube, but you can find it at Club MST3K.)

Prologue

I don’t know if I ever mentioned that I like the little tentacle things in the KTMA doorway sequence.

Oh man, continuity! That’s unusual for this show in general, not even just KTMA. They did a “previously on…” sketch as the intro for The Deadly Bees [905], but that one purposefully had nothing to do with anything that has ever happened on the S.O.L. They also did general premise recaps fairly often in Season 1 and occasional other times, and some story arc recaps in Season 8 when they were forced to have a story arc. This is the only episode I know of, thought, that has a classic “previously” bit, separate from the rest of the host segment, that recaps with a clip from the previous episode. Neat.

Also, does anyone recognize the voice-over voice? Josh or Kevin are the usual deep-voice go-tos, but this doesn’t sound like either of them. The musical sting comes from Fugitive Alien (I thought it was Time of the Apes at first, which goes to show how well I don’t know my Season 3 episodes).

After the clip, we join the Mads trying to get a look at Joel floating outside the satellite. They confirm for us that he is not floating naked in space, but is actually wearing underwear (which we could kinda tell from that very accurate action-figure Joel model). I had to look up what “BVDs” were, though. I had to look at this so now you do, too:

Whatever camera they’re using to look at Joel must have really good zoom if they can tell his cheeks are blue.

Has he been out there for a whole week? That’s impressive. Much later, in Time Chasers [821], the S.O.L. seemed to maybe have a Tardis-like air bubble-forcefield thing around it when it docked with Pearl’s van, so maybe that’s how Joel managed. Of course, a week in the cold of space with no food or water doesn’t really leave him very well off even if he had air, but those are all science facts. More likely this episode and the last one just take place closer together that that. (My default headcanon assumption is most episodes take place roughly in real time with when they aired, but there’s exceptions to that for sure). But again, I’m more than willing to relax about this kind of thing. I just speculate for fun.

The Mads are 2001-loving dorks, and we love them for it. As characters. As people, they’re jerks.

I think this may the first occurrence of weirdly affectionate Dr. F nicknames for Joel. We’ve had a few weird insults in previous episodes, but I think this is the first of this particular kind.

I didn’t know the Mads could open the S.O.L. doors from down on Earth. But I guess they control all sorts of other things from their lab, so why not the doors? Larry doesn’t actually press any buttons, but Joel gets inside anyway. Maybe he pressed it under the desk.

Joel is putting on his jumpsuit as he comes onto the bridge. The bots must have left it right by the door. Why did Joel take it off to go outside in the first place? Was he in the middle of changing and got sucked out the door? Actually, a random semi-nude spacewalk doesn’t seem too far outside something Joel might do on purpose…

Joel also thanks the Mads for letting him inside. It’s good to be polite to your captors, I suppose. In some episodes, rudeness does result in punishment, so probably a smart idea.

 Locked you out again? How many times has this happened, Joel? Maybe you need to get another key. Although if he’s going out into space in only his underwear, he might not have a good place to keep it…this is getting weird, let’s move on.

Trace’s weird expressions in this segment keep making me laugh.

The Mads are really enjoying taunting Joel this week. I like their doofy handshake. I can imagine them doing that in the halls at Gizmonic and other mad scientists just looking at them like they can’t stand them.

Joel’s response is actually much more sarcastic than usual for him (outside the theater). 3-12 weeks? What’s he talking about there? Anyone know? Did KTMA have multiple seasons?

Poor guy, he sounds really done. Being stuck out in the vacuum of space for a while probably does that to you.

The Mads’ movie intros are starting to sound more like they will for the rest of the series. Also, Larry tells Clay to get the movie, and he does. I sometimes forget that Dr. F and Dr. Erhardt were portrayed mostly as equals during KTMA. The junior doctor/henchman thing didn’t really get going until Season 1.

I never know what to make of angry Joel. It happened more often in KTMA, but still not that much. Also, his hand gestures are weird.

We didn’t see the bots in this segment, probably because they’re off hiding from Joel and their impending punishment.

Movie pt. 1

Wow, the Mads were right; this is a really washed-out print.

Joel comes into the theater dancing to the parade music from the movie. He seems to have forgotten about being angry. Maybe the bots got an earful on the way down.

4:32, time and temp: 6:04 and 67°. The episode originally aired in early May, so I’d assume this is sometime around then, if not the exact night. I don’t know if TV23 re-ran these or not.

Crow mispronounces “emperor” at 4:39, and corrects himself, which makes Joel chuckle.

At 4:43, Tom tries to apologize for locking Joel outside, saying they “didn’t really know it was [him].” Joel understandably doesn’t respond.

During the opening credits, they do a lot of “relative of famous person with same last name” jokes. Those became a staple during credits for the rest of the show, especially the Joel seasons.

Servo doesn’t know who the Buddha is at 7:27. Also, Joel’s Wisconsin accent really comes out when he says “Buddha.”

At 7:46, Joel starts a riff that just sort of peters out. Something about the plant in front of the camera, but I’m not sure what he was trying to say.

8:13, Joel makes a pun and asks Crow if he likes it. Crow doesn’t seem overly enthused, but he says it was cool, anyway. Tom then tells him should laugh at it, since Joel’s upset with them. He hasn’t been acting too upset since they got into the theater, but maybe he’s been glowering or something.

Crow and Joel both talk at the same time at 8:31. They’re usually pretty good at not doing that, considering it’s improv.

At 8:35, Joel says “whoops” and looks down. It looks like he was just moving out of the way of the movie, but maybe he hit Crow’s arm or something.

Movie thing: I know it’s not even 10 minutes in yet, but the editing in this is really bad.

At 11:52, Joel tells Crow a terrible joke, which he kinda laughs at, but it seems to make him a little bit sad. Joel laughs, though.

Servo’s Frankie Avalon joke at 12:27- does that come from somewhere or did Josh just make that up on the fly? It’s very clever. Josh always has been the best of the MST alumni at off-the-cuff quips. Crow and Joel groan, though.

At 13:01, I’m not sure what Joel’s laughing at.

Joel bats at the old man at 13:16.

Movie thing: Gosh, 60s white-people dancing is always so second-hand embarrassing. Also, along with being washed out, the sound is really bad in this, too. I’m having a hard time understanding what anyone is saying.

I appreciate their Batman riffs at 15:43.

At 16:36, Tom makes fun of Frankie Avalon for being in the movie, but since Frankie’s hugging a pretty lady on screen at the time, Crow disagrees with his assessment. His enthusiastic follow-up about Frankie’s hand placement makes me laugh, along with Joel.

Josh calls commercial at 17:22, while making fun of Colonel Medika’s line delivery.

The guys are talking over each other a lot this week. I guess they’re just full of riff ideas.

Joel’s delivery at 17:45 is kind of adorable, for some reason.

All their riffs about the van starting at 18:26 are really funny, but what was that, Joel? Freeze him and make him into little bongs? Bombs? Huh?

I’m sorry, but WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

You can’t really see it because the quality is so bad, but at 19:27, Joel and the bots lean along with the car-chase cam.

Terrible pun from Joel at 20:20ish.

Some more of the Crow attitude we know and love at 22:20.

At 22:29, Servo complains to Joel about hearing voices in his head. Joel sounds a little concerned, but then Tom drops it.

Joel starts poking at Frankie’s giant chin at 22:57.

Crow just can’t let the poor framing in this scene go.

Tom’s confused about the number of Sumuru’s eyes at 26:10.

Joel gives the naked woman two thumbs up at 26:52, then stands up to look down at her chest! Unexpected from him. Things are getting awfully blue in here…

Crow starts a game of tag with Joel as they leave the theater, which is cute. Joel takes a huge obvious step over Trace on the floor, and mumbles something. I can’t tell whether he says something to Trace, or say something about “chase”. Either would make sense in context.

Host Segment 1

 We go right into the host segment, skipping the doorway sequence. It’s hard to tell with these VHS recordings whether that’s how the episode was made, or if the person just cut it out. It does look like a little bit from the beginning of this segment is cut off.

Joel is still mad about being locked out of the ship, so he’s attached “idioprobes” to the bots. They look like strings, and apparently administer pain while attached. That seems a little harsh to me, but I’ve also never been stuck out in space in my underwear, either. I like the way Crow sidles sideways into frame.

When Joel rips the idioprobes off the bots, you can clearly see the string on Servo, but he just pretends to grab something off of Crow. They didn’t have any extra string for a prop?

After Joel removes them, Servo starts trying to give the “we didn’t know it was you” excuse again, saying they thought it was any of several dead musicians. (All the people in the list are drummers, except for Elvis.)

Joel’s not having it, and threatens the probes again. I’m not really sure why they’re called probes; they’re not really probing anything.

Tom demands a trial by his peers, and Joel says that he’d build them more peers if he could. Interesting- does that mean he’s used up all useful robot building parts on the ship already? That would explain why he stopped at four, besides the fact that four is more than enough to deal with.

Then Joel asks where Gypsy is, and the other two hem and haw and finally admit they left her stuck in the spiral-on-down, which I think is the way to the theater? I know they’ve used the term before, but infrequently. Anyway, Joel’s not happy about that, either. Servo’s defense is pretty reasonable, since his arms don’t work. Crow’s in trouble, though.

Apparently you can unstick Gypsy from the spiral-on-down by pressing a button on the little control panel thing. I wonder if that unsticks her from anywhere in the satellite, or if it’s just for that one spot. Crow calls it a robo-purge button, which kind of makes it sound like the former.

I love Gypsy’s screech when she gets released.

Joel seems so done with the bots and everything by the end of this segment. He can’t do anything but smile and (metaphorically) wave. The cheesy grin isn’t usually his style; that’s more of a Mike thing.

Movie pt. 2

Still 67° at 6:38 (am or pm).

Joel sings a little Sumuru song at 35:48. I’m not sure if the tune comes from somewhere or if he was just making it up on the spot. Anyone recognize it?

At 36:20, Joel and the bots mess with the car dashboard.

37:33- Tom makes another off-color joke. I have a feeling more are on the way, given the content of the movie.

At 44: 20, Servo brings up the slant-6 Swinger car again, the one they mentioned in a few previous episodes.

He also calls commercial at 44:45.

Joel’s sounding extra sleepy in a lot of his lines.

Ah good, it’s time for the movie to dial up the sexism again.

By 51:11, Crow’s lost patience with the kissing scene.

At 52:04, Tom tells Joel he needs to leave, because he needs to go bake brownies for the Pinewood Derby. The real-life reason was mentioned at the top, but I’m thinking in-universe, Servo was just tired of watching this movie. Joel’s fine with him leaving, as long as he agrees to show up for the sketches between the movies segments. Tom promises, and wonders if they have eggs. Just a pointless thought, since it doesn’t matter how they eat (or breathe), but I always assumed either the Mads send them supply shipments, or they have some kind of food synthesizer that makes it for them. They definitely have the latter by the end of the series, since Crow mentions it in Soultaker [1001], but earlier than that, it’s not clear. Maybe both?

Host Segment 2

Joel tries to hold a trial for the bots, but, as usual, everything is a joke to them. They just won’t go along with anything he’s trying to do. The courtroom thing reminds me of Crow’s trial for cheating in Wild World of Batwoman [515].

The bots go off on another word-association tangent, which leads to a game show sketch, while Joel just looks on impatiently.

He uses the button panel as a gavel.

Even Gypsy gets in on making life difficult for Joel. It looks like maybe Josh was throwing his voice to do Gypsy from the other side of the desk. Either that or they recorded that part in post. Either way, Trace or somebody else must have been operating her.

Time and temp comes up on the host segment this time; Still 67° at 7:07. The updates are more frequent this week than last time.

Joel gives up on getting order in the court, and picks up Tom and kisses his head while misquoting Jimi Hendrix. What else can you do but give into the madness?

What is that on the desk besides the papers? It looks like an upside-down mug, maybe?

I like the weird noise Crow makes when Joel calls Movie Sign.

Movie pt. 3

 As Servo mentioned, he doesn’t go back into the theater with the others. Joel was holding him as they ended the last segment, so I guess he must have put him down somewhere on the way to the theater.

Joel and Crow try to move away from the spraying champagne at 55:10.

I agree with Crow at 56:27, please stop.

Man, Crow keeps saying what I’m thinking.

At 59:45, Crow calls back to the oceanic opening credits from the Gamera films.

Oh goodness, again with the Brain That Wouldn’t Die-style KPORN saxophone…also, so does security want to like, check her bag or anything before she goes in to the president? No? Yeah, see, that’s exactly why security exists.

Wait, he did get shot? Huh? It would be nice if they would SHOW us what’s happening! And this is the most ineffectual political security ever.

Host Segment 3

As promised, Tom is back for the host segment.

I love Crow’s flowers on his net.

Joel was out in space for five weeks? I guess it was longer between episodes than I thought.  That’s what I get for not checking first.

It amuses me that the bots are just now asking about this, even though they obviously thought about before, since Servo did calculations. But Joel’s got a guitar and he’s ignoring their questions, sort of like how they ignored him earlier when he was trying to put them on trial.

Time and temperature again, 7:28 and down to 65°.

Joel and the bots sing us a lovely part of the theme song to remind us to just relax about the eating and breathing thing. I’m guessing they anticipated people calling/writing in with questions about how Joel survived. As much as this episode guide exists to overthink things, that kind of science fact I am quite relaxed about, and I don’t mind being reminded.

I wonder whose guitar that is. It might be Josh’s, since I know he has musical inclinations. It doesn’t look the same as the guitar Larry has during the Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn song in Women of the Prehistoric Planet [104], but that doesn’t mean it’s not still his. Also, do you think Joel’s really playing the guitar here? It sure looks like he is, but I’ve heard him say in interviews that he doesn’t play the guitar. Maybe he just meant he doesn’t anymore, or very much.

I think Crow is just moving his mouth, not actually singing. Nice harmonies from Tom, though.

Movie pt. 4

Haha, she’s running to her inevitable death, it’s funny! These highly-trained assassins sure jog at a casual pace, don’t they? I guess they’re probably in heels.

At 1:08:21, Joel mentions that he likes a movie with lots of midriff. This one ought to make him happy, then, no midriff shortage here.

Classic “oh wow” from Joel at 1:12:28, and another at 1:12:39. I don’t know if I’m going to note all of them. Maybe I should, and then someday someone can make a pointless compilation video or something.

Wizard of Oz reference #16 at 1:12:46. Maybe someday someone can make a pointless compilation of these, too.

Crow makes Joel laugh at 1:12:53.

The guys have no patience for Frankie’s fourth-wall-breaking joke at 1:13:01.

Wow, what a pointlessly prolonged scene leading up to nothing. They did in two minutes what they could have done in 30 seconds. That’s padding Roger Corman could be proud of.  

Also, that cut. This movie can’t decide if it wants to be a comedy or not. Not that it’s succeeding at comedy, but sometimes it’s sure trying.

“I know it’s best” because I’m a man, albeit a wimpy, useless one. Man, just like City on Fire, this movie annoys me so much I can’t leave it alone, even though that’s not what this guide is for. (I also think it’s easy to start filling in riffs yourself in KTMA, when it’s slow.)

I just noticed Joel’s leaned way back in his chair.

He calls commercial at 1:21:07.

Sumuru’s mines are operated by switches? That seems far less effective than normal mines…

Joel keeps talking about midriffs. I guess he really is a fan. 

I’m sorry I keep talking about movie things, but why the heck is Frankie here? Isn’t his character just some rich playboy with no actual skills? Did I miss some line near the beginning that explained his extensive military training? I really might have, the sound was terrible.

Joel’s riff attempt at 1:32:26- he pauses to get his sentence in order, then still says “fooms” instead of “films”. I find that way funnier than I should.

Is Joel okay? He’s having a really hard time getting over Trace on the way out, again. Maybe they’re squished closer to the wall than usual?

Conclusion

 Apparently Servo’s mouth is broken now, so Joel moves it for him and makes him sing.

Joel mentions they’ve got 900 people in the fan club. That’s extremely impressive for a dinky little puppet show on local UHF. Seems like people could tell from the beginning that MST3K was destined for greatness.

The fan club newsletter is called The Binding Polymer? I wonder why. Just science-y sounding, I guess.

Why does Joel need to move Servo’s mouth to talk when he’s not even onscreen? Maybe he can’t talk at all if his mouth doesn’t move. That seems like an odd design choice for a robot, but then again, so do most aspects of the bots. Speaking of Tom’s mouth, is KTMA Tom’s mouth the same as regular Tom’s mouth, but upside down? I’m probably just crazy.

Crow seems shocked by Joel’s sudden button press.

As he often does, Joel looks offscreen before the camera cuts away. He really does seem tired this week, doesn’t he? Hope he went home after this and slept.

Kevin’s listed under “Puppet Operation” in the credits. Maybe that means he was running Gypsy in the second host segment.

Thoughts on the Movie

          Wow. You know, after reading a little bit about it, I had hopes that The Million Eyes of Sumuru would be a little bit higher quality than the past few movies we’ve seen. In some ways, that’s true.

          But overall, I have to say…WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MOVIE?! I have so many questions: Why can’t George Nader and Frankie Avalon stop being smug and sardonic and cutesy for three and a half seconds? Why did they frame shots so half the time you can’t tell what’s going on? And President Boong? First of all, Boong, really? Second of all, Sinonesia? What? Third of all, he is clearly a white guy in eyeliner and all of this is supposed to be remotely acceptable to the audience!? I mean, Fu Manchu was racist, too, but at least they made some attempt to suspend audience disbelief.

          And the really big one: how do you think they fit this much misogyny into one film? Remember, even if a woman hates men and has dedicated her whole life to destroying them, she still becomes instantly smitten if touched by a man, no matter how unattractive. Also, even if she is a trained martial-artist-assassin, she will not make any attempt to stop said man from touching her, because she is a woman. Yes, women exist solely as sexual creatures who could never desire anything more than to be dominated by men, no matter what they may try to convince themselves otherwise. In fact, every human being is motivated only by sex at all times! And was that significant glance between Helga and the other chick at the end there supposed to redeem anything? Sax Rohmer, Harry Towers, Kevin Kavanagh (screenwriter on this fine, fine film)- y’all have issues.

          This movie has plenty of other stupidity which I’m not going to bother to get into. I think I’ve expressed my feelings adequately. It’s not unwatchable in the way Castle of Fu Manchu is, but it’s plenty more offensive. Let’s just move on with our lives.

Review

          This one was okay. As I said before, Josh thrives the most on the improv riffing, and the second part really starts to drag once he leaves. I still laughed out loud at several riffs, (favorite riff- Crow: Does she always make that noise when she walks?) but there’s a lot of dead space in between. Compared to the past few episodes, it definitely has less energy, which also makes it easier to get caught up in the badness of the movie.

          Overall, had good parts, wouldn’t put it in my KTMA top five, by any means. Still, with every episode the guys seem to figuring out more and more the feeling they want in the movie and host segments. You can see it moving towards its destination.