#Donnie then shoots him off of the pile of rocks

[onejellyfishplease]

moments before Leo's death

[popculturebuffet]

Animation Reviews: SVTFOE: Camping Trip

Happy Father’s Day!  And today I decided to focus one one of my faviorite characters from star Vs King River Butterfly. For those unware or needing a refresher, River is star’s dad,  king of mewni and former prince of the johansons, another royal family on mewni that is rough and tumblr and fight happy, which shows as River is where his daughter gets most of her personality: A love for fighting, boundless energy, lack of boundries... lot of that comes from the poppa. I’ve loved the character but oddly I never got around to watching his second spotlight episode and with it fitting father’s day perfectly, I thought it was sabout time. So join me after the cut as I celebrate father’s day as it was intended: watching a crazy man try to prove his daughter still needs him even though he didn’t really need to. 

We open at some sort of national park in Echo Creek... they never really name this park. Weird. Anyway the diazes and star are going camping! Star instantly gets bit by a misquito and tries to use a “Cataclysmic Total Extinction Death BLast” on it forgetting it’s on her arm and apparently forgetting the spell for the rest of the series even when that’d be really useful.. unless that’s what she used on toffee.. food for thought. Anyways Marco stops her from murdering her own arm, and possibly the whole country, and reminds her this isn’t mewni and “Nature’s nice here”.Well he’s not wrong I mean this is also the spot where once every hundred years Donny Most rises from the mist. 

I miss when that show was tolerable. But Marco plans for a bit of fishing, a bit of hiking and then to see the local gyser Old Youthful errupt, which star is all hear for. While his parents ARE around and drove them there, they won’t be coming as they prefer painting their actions to slide shows. IT’s a good gag and a good explination. Before Star can ruminate on it being just the two of htem a metor crashes into a mushroom cloud which turns out to be River who screams CAMPPPINNNG and could somehow sense his daughter was going camping and rather than just portal in normal made one in the sky and meteored to the ground.. what a legend.  Naturally River joins up as he taught star to camp and is clearly not happy about Marco trying to teach her to camp earth styles, we’ll get to the why as we go. Marco TRIES to teach him to fish... but, despite what he’ll teach later, patience, like with his daughter is not river’s strong suit so he does what any conan would do: grab a rock and beat the water with it before biting up his own foot in a rage. Well when you love fish like he does you want them to die with dignity. 

Cut to the trio walking the trail, with Marco going slow because River’s foot is torn up because you know he bit it a lot and likely sharpens his teeth. River refuses any offer for help, does a handstand and offers his daughter a piggy back ride which she refuses before running off. Star tracks him by using her wand as an infared tracker.. which it can do.. and again never used again. She mary poppins her and marco up into a tree where they find an Eagle, with Marco understandably not wanting to get htem arrested while River is trying to break it’s spirit to fly them there before having a slow motion breakdown as why he came, and why he’s acting so weird become apparent as he , out loud so marco and star can hear: battles with his own inner monologue about possibly being replaced by marco, the possiblity of star dating, because he was apparently clearly in denial about her former relationship with tom despite his parents probably not being subtle about it, and is thankfully interupted by the local park ranger.  River pays off his fines iwth a pile of gold he apparently keeps in his loincloth.. or up his butt, probably both. With time running out according to the park ranger, the group set out again, finding a maze of trails. They choose poorly and end up 50 miles from the gyser and river, realizing this MIGHT just be his fault, decides to go get a ride.  Naturally given this is River he steals a bear and has to give the sherif his crown and more ass gold. Marco is upset they didn’t make it while Star finally calls her dad out for acting even crazier than usual and ruining Marco’s chance to see old youthful. We then get a nice moment as it turns out Marco has seen it at least 10 times,  it’s just with all the wonderful, impossible things star has shown him since she met.. he wanted to show her some special as a way of paying her back. I missed THIS marco: a good natured, normal kid who while he can kick ass deepd own is just a decent person trying to do the right thing instead of the selfish , jealous nightmare he’d be for 2/3 of season 3. And it says something that this moment is genuinely touching and mildly romantic versus .. well the entire last third of season 4.  River is touched and while Marco’s prepared to just go see it another time the park ranger says the gyser is drying up and this is the last time.. and the way he phrases it hits river hard, so he’d determined to piggy back ride those teenagers all the way to that gyser dammit! So river runs ALL THE WAY THERE, up waterfalls over rocks and past a war reinactment, before passing out as they reach it.. and it’s already splooshed it’s last sploosh. 

River is finally somehwat honest about his insecurity: he tells star she needs someone younger to take care of her like her boyfriend marco here.. and while it’s been obvious since his conversation with himself on the eagle’s nest, it isa nice conflict: while we’ve seen the “Parent is worried their older child will grow past them thing” dozens of times, hell disney even made a whole movie about it starring everyone’s faviorite dad Goofy, but this one feels unique, as River’s also clealry dealing with his age and his daughter growing up and being away from him. It’s understndable and takes what could’ve been, and at times still is a cartoon cutout ofa man and gives him a suprising amount of depth. It’s part of what made this show work when it did work: It had weird shit happening all the time but like say, Bojack Horseman, the characters still felt belivieble and grounded despite the weird as hell setting. 

Marco corrects her on the boyfriend part he poitns out how river just climbed up a waterfall and carried them miles in minutes, while Star reassures her dad she’ll always need him. After a daughter dad hug, awww, Marco playfully shoves river accidently knocking River into the gyser.. which errupts again, sending him into the air, sending star oooing and having the other ranger at the station tell the one we’ve been seeing to stop lying abotu the gyser, no matter how fun it is. River is thankfully alive and OH GOOD GOD... you know after THIS yesterday. 

I thought I woudln’t find anything more horrifying for a while. You know I mean look at Gregg and Drupe. You’d think I couldn’t top that... you’d be wrong. Behold freshly steam shaven burned looking like a new born baby river. 

That that’s burned in my mind now.... we also get a bit of the diazes showing paintings of this horror show climbing and the episode ends but just.. my eyes.. the goggles do nothing. Still better than waking up with mud on your dick... 

Final Thoughts; GAH WHY DID I PROVIDE THAT IMAGE I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO CONCENTATE. Here have abe simpson talking about sex I need something less horrifying to buffer that image. 

Okay good we have a buffer, i’m glad I finally watched this one. Itt’s damn good. River’s antics are funny, but dont’ go too far into unlikeable as we get where he’s coming from and he does get called out, Not much more to say, it’s funny heartwarming and as good as the series was at it’s best and focused on a character I love dearly for his antics, while giving him a good amount of depth, something later seasons would keep up every so often. So like this review if you enjoyed it, follow for more, shoot me asks about my reviews or with suggestions for future one and until next time, later days. 

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

Lost and Found

It had been a difficult past few months since the incident that had claimed the life of their leader Leonardo changed your lives forever. His resounding absence had left a gaping hole in the fragile moral of the small mutant family that resided below the streets of New York City. The usual boisterous brothers now barely spoke or left the lair and Master Splinter refused to leave his room leaving his bonsai tree to waste away. It was up to you to bring the remaining family what little joy you had left to share, bringing pizza and food to keep them nourished as much as possible. They knew your smiles were fake, they could feel the sorrow you shared with them. They knew what Leo had meant to you and just by returning to lair to keep the remaining three brothers and father motivated to keep eating and bath was a true testament to your love for them all.

 For you, the effect of Leo’s untimely death had hit you differently, you had loved him and had only just recently confessed your feelings to the leader in blue which he had thankfully reciprocated. It had only been a few glorious months being in his arms, tasting his lips, sharing your bodies with each other before it all came crashing down around you leaving those heated memories, his voice, his kisses a painful reminder of what could have been. That night, that horrible night would be etched in your memory for the rest of your days, remembering their three vacant faces at your window looking at nothing in particular. When the window was open all three slowly entered without making a sound and when you inquired where Leo was all three had tensed. You could remember the look on their faces, it was haunting and the news that followed had broken you beyond repair.

 A normal routine patrol that should have only taken an hour had ended in tragedy ripping all of your lives to sunder. It had only been a few Purple Dragons moving a small amount of guns, even Hun hadn’t been present. The fight they put up was another story, in the end the ammunition had caught fire which set a chain of events into motion setting off several explosions to engulf the entire hideout in flame.

 Like the heroes they were, they had remained to save a few slow moving or hurt gang members from their deaths. Donnie, Mikey and Raph were already on the roof feeling the tar under their feet begin to melt. Leo was the last inside doing one final sweep when Donnie noticed the last crate of ammunition about to ignite. The explosion sent all three of the turtles staggering back watching the erupting flames shoot from the skylight. The remaining glass shattered with the explosion and was sent up into the night sky like glittering diamonds. It would have been beautiful to watch if the horrific notion that their leader, brother, loved one hadn’t still been inside the building when detonation had gone off.

 They stayed as long as they could looking for any sign of his body, anything they could retrieve to bury, to have some sort of service for him but the fire had burned so hot there was nothing left. So they watched with tear stained faces as the building collapsed in on itself brick by brick encasing their eldest brother in his fiery tomb.

 When the sirens of the encroaching fire and rescue were heard in the distance they knew their time had run out. They needed to flee, to go home and tell their father the news that Leonardo would not be coming home. It had taken them two days before they got the courage to tell you, they knew the reaction you would give would rebreak their hearts all over again. And they had been right, all four of your spend the night huddled in a pile on your floor crying, trying desperately to console on and other knowing there was nothing that any of you could do to make the pain go away anytime soon.

 Months past and the healing had only just begun when you finally convinced the three brothers to get out of the lair. It was summer and the night’s air was clean and crisp filled with the familiar sounds of the bustling city below. Raphael had carried you up the stairs of the fire escape mumbling about you cutting yourself on the rusty metal but you knew he just wanted you near, they all did and you were happy to oblige the three mutants. You had gotten several bags of food from their favorite Japanese restaurant and the plan was to have dinner under the stars in the effort to bring all four of you out of the funk that had befallen your small family. After two hours the laughter from your conversations resonated over the tall buildings and it felt like magic. The light in Mikey’s blue eyes had begun to sparkle again and Donnie’s lopsided grin was making your heart beat a little too fast. Even Raphael had pulled you into his lap running his hands up and down your back pressing feather light kisses to your shoulder in between small bouts of laughter. It wasn’t a big step getting them outside but a small step for sure. They needed it, you needed it and for once in the past few months, the light in their faces was beginning to return.

 It was a sudden thumb behind you that made your banter stop, each other turtles tensed and were now on high alert. You were not alone on the roof anymore and dinner was now over. Raphael scooted you from his lap carefully and reached to the hilts of his sai and his two younger brothers followed suit. They were on their feet in seconds facing towards the intruders voice but the shadows of the night still concealed them.

 “I was wondering when you all would come out of hiding.” An oddly familiar voice hissed behind you. Alarms were going off in your head, something was wrong and you could tell by the looks on the three brothers faces they could sense it too. As the intruder advanced you could hear the rocks of the roof being kicked almost deliberately to intimate the three mutants. Then a low laugh made the hair on your neck stand on end….it couldn’t be, there was no possible way.

 The shadow was large as it crept from the darkness, it’s stature matching the three that stood to protect you. A mountain of green muscle and black fabric emerged with piercing blue eyes that were covered with a black mask. Two long glinting blades sparkled in the moonlight in all too familiar three fingered hands ready and waiting.

 All of your mouth hung open threatening to snap clean from your jaws as the breath you so desperately needed refused to fill your stunned lungs. It couldn’t be, he was dead, you had mourned, you had screamed. This wasn’t happening.

 “Now that you have come out of hiding, I can fulfill my mission. I’ve been ordered by my master to bring you three to him. He requires his property back.” The tone in his voice was raw and threatening making no mistake their guest wasn’t messing around.

 He sounded like him, he looked like him but it couldn’t be him. You stepped around the three stunned mutants and took a tentative step forward towards the lost mutant. His once dazzling eyes held no love for you, in fact it looked as if he didn’t even recognize you.

 “Leo?”

[toast-on-dandelioms]

Honestly I would do something like that with my sisters, just to annoy them.

Would I get bitten? Yes but it would be worth it

moments before Leo's death