#Don't say it

[carmenized-onions]

in celebration of my move goin' well, here's a couple more CK bits, specifically made for last chapter!

lot of carmen centered content this time.. get this fucker out of my comp

little better. ANYWAYS GOODNIGHT BABIES, do me a favour, flood my inbox while i sleep. love you!

[its-prachi]

[irat-that-s-me]

quiet!

shhhhh

[princessheatherblossom]

She knows you're right

[lovesickgoose]

I'm sensing a trend

[unichrome]

Hey. Hey you guys know IBM right? The big old tech company right? Listen, here's an extract of information from one of their many top of the line products, particularly regarding security. Qradar is their multimillion USD product that they sell to governments and corporations to gather possible security breaches for us mere malware analysts to look into. I give you the quintessential Qradar™️ experience:

"Payload Information: Malware" (thanks for narrowing it down for me)

"action=Detect" (you sure did buddy)

"Source Asset Name: N/A" (you... You can't even tell me which machine this is about?)

"precise_error=unknown error" (thank.)

In conclusion: you haven't configured your tumblr app to view this information

[zippyzstuff]

[mbrainspaz]

me (ace): It's just so difficult, you know? Not being attracted to anyone. It's so hard when you're trying to date.

friend (bi/pan): No I don't know because I'm attracted to EVERYONE XD

[duncan-rohanne]

personally, i think that when darkling comes back in season 3, he should fight with nikolai over who gets to date malina. i really think that it’s a great idea and they should definitely do that.

[midnightmoonbeams]

Here's what the results screen looked like. The ink colors remind me of mustard and ketchup.

From January 16th, 2021

[prussianmemes]

finding my neighbor's chinese headphones on google and i can't take it anymore

[carmenized-onions]

review

chip is the biggest fourth wall breaker and i love it for her - time is definitely linear 100% we didn’t just read a tenet vibe flashback forward around and sideways episode that isn’t what happened?

her and carmy are so skinny not breaking the counter

any shoes left undropped? oh how i love your continued motifs

BEFORE YOU KNEW ME YOU CALLED ME CARMY???? completely and utterly feral. she found him charming!!! teehee. she is such a tumblr girl #parasocialrelationshipvibes

she found him charming teehee

chip is simultaneously the second most awkward and the least awkward and carmy is consistently the most awkward

okay the car incident was a month ago, good to know because the fever dreams are ongoing

promised to ask you out (when he’s mentally stable) LOL WHENS THAT HAPPENING

god you are so good at talking about throats i never knew that the feeling of someone’s throat could make me feel emotions

HE IS A MORON oh my god but he isn’t a bad guy (tumblr needs to see this after their comments on season 3 carmy)

carmy i beg do the fucking work i need you two to have sex now x

i love the way i can’t exactly tell who’s thoughts these are/ the respective it’s being written from - like some lines are so chip then some are so carmy and some are also giving me michael vibes (could be completely off parr with this and you didn’t intend for me to read into it this much).

for example

- [ ] “you squint like he’s a moron” is so chip, but then the “he is” is so mikey

- [ ] and then the “of course you want him to change” is so carmy and the “he sucks” is so mikey

stop thinking about food carmy oml wrap it up,

oh carmy you could definitely be better but

NO CHIP YOU COULD NOT BE BETTER NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT “insert rodrick saying deny deny deny”

jk chip is a flawed character but also so likeable and that’s why we love her

the peoples princess did go hard to be fair this is so random but my ex boyfriend always said i was a fixer like chip but he never called me the peoples princess and the reason why is insane… HE DIDNT KNOW WHO PRINCESS DIANA WAS. bear in mind this boy was a fucking genius, going to one of the hardest degrees at a very good school and we are both british how in hell do you not know who princess diana is you fucking weirdo

i knew he was a making a dish in his head, and what does he do, go and prove me right and make a dish in his head

ITS EASIER TO MAKE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE FOR YOU,,,,, ABOUT YOU WTF

me with a chronic nail biting problem and a therapist 👁️👄👁️

you are both little morons i need richie (ideally mikey but that’s obvs no possible) to come and tell you this

finally they are back in sync

this proving yourself thing is kind of crazy but it’s also carmen so EVENTUALLY THANK GOD

it is definitely weird to have the same therapist

the cat analogy is so good i feel it in my bones

i would say i love you tbf, too soon but she was MIKEYS PICK

such a cat response

i’m glad we have reaffirmed that she will still work there because i need to see this happen

with you??? wtf do you mean you two need labels istg

he has receipts like idk what to tell you it’s fucking carmy and when it comes to chip he’s finna be in the pit (be prepared)

my reaction to carmy v fields…. oh yeah:

- THIS IS TOO GOOD WTAF

- i needed this. i needed this so fucking much

- WALK HIM LIKE A FUCKING DOG

- THIS WAS ON THE FUCKING ROADTRIP - GOD I WISH I WAS THERE RVEN FUCKING MORE WYG

-GOD YOU ARE SO FUCKING CHEKHOVS GUN

- i was chilling with dirty details and NOW ITS THIS YOU ARE AMAZING

- head of the head of the head IN THEIR HEADS

- PROZAC RIDDLED FUCKS LIKE ME… are you actually on prozac… no?

- WHY IS FAK BERE?? GO FUCKING HOME

- best friend FAK? we will talk about best friend fak later

- i love this website commentary- i had to make a website once and it was the worst experience of my life

- of course chip would learn web design

- GET HIM CARMEN FUCKINF GET HIS ASSSSSS

- WE DONT PLAY IN CHICAGO (this is so my city vs london in the uk)

- ROAD TRIP SQUAD OH MY FUCKING GOD

- i was wondering what he meant by dusty and dead… i get it now

- tip your servers and don’t ask for their numbers

- one thing richie believes is fuck the feds (even the paramedics)

*deep breath*,,, moving on

they need to kiss rn like they just do while he imagines food she imagines drinks. i would say i love you? so just fucking say it AND FUCKING KISS ALREADY

your writing, like it really is fucking amazing

oh my god

THEY KISSED TEEHEE TEHEE I AM LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET

i love the bear fandom all uniting on the fact that carmy likes having his hair pulled. like there is one consistency across all fanfictions and it is that carmy will whine when someone pulls on his hair

*chekovs gunshot* she gets headaches when she smokes, she likes the taste of his mouth, he wants to fly her to paris. these were all in one sentence YOU ARE TOO GOOD

“I want you to be permanent and carved in my tables and I want you to wear my jackets and I want you in my kitchen and in my menu and in every dumb fucking conversation I have at Christmas tellin’ family what the fuck I’m doing— I want you in every sentence.”

i’m going to do a full analysis on this… this is fucking literature i don’t know what else to say.

FAK GO AWAY I WANT THEM TO FUCK COME ON DUDE

another thing consistently in the best fanfic. carmen is a biter

the mood is not dead FUCK ALREADY

i was so worried the vibe ending would be the end of the chapter and i would have cried THANKYOU FOR WRITING SO MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR RIDICULOUS WORD COUNTS

SYD IS HER OLD CAT, this is why her and carmy are so good as coworkers

you are genuinely unbelievable

“get your weird little hands off my chip you perv “they’re not weird little hands” “why is that what you dispute” they are children

i don’t feel that i can really say anything on how you wrote the scene of richie and chip after because it cannot suffice in saying how good you are at this

go away dee dee i just got a smudge of happiness

oh sugar how i’ve missed you

the. first. christmas. without. mikey.

only the girls who babysat get chip

fucking rich boy carmy thinks he’s bad now he got payed. OKG I SAID THIS BEDORE I RVEN READ THE CHARMIN LINE WE ARE THE SAME (jk you are better than me)

he wants her soooo bad

OH MY GOD. she is making him watch ratatouille. carmen you literally are a weird rat . like you are THE WEIRD RAT

of course she’s a makeup cleansing balm user that is my queen bitch. also she wants to wear converse she’s so cringe i love her

he wants her on his team!?!!

aw he’s thinking a normal carmy amount like he’s helping her plan outfits and he’s ensuring they include her accent colour so say yes to being on his team pls

yeah carmy wants the apron to be easy to take off too LOL

richie the certified on god boy

you are the queen of stupid and meaningless (not stupid at all) stuff that is actually very meaningful

he is so big brother energy (richie)

the younger siblings taking turns to sit in the console i love this it is so real

they say they’ll be happy about it but they’ll curse you behind your back

you recognise all of it. it’s nearly enough to make you cry. - ouch

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE. HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE 10 TIMES

AND DONE

this chapter was the emotional relief i needed fuck

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS!!!!!!!

sometimes. we simply need a reminder that time is linear LMAO. listen. is it fourth wall breaking or just dissasocciation? Maybe both. Maybe it's mabelliyne.

NOT SKINNY LMAOOO as a plus size girl, I truly was considering writing in somewhere a moment of Chip awkwardly having to crawl up on the counter (how do people do just jump on the thing? i do not have that power)

I fear I'll never let go of my shoe motif. I fear I'll actually never let it drop.

Parasocial Chip my beloved,,, man I gotta write blurbs of her in her crush era when she didn't know Carm yet. SOMEONE REQUEST IT How are you NOT supposed to find this Denmark Virgin with a LOT of jean jackets hot??!?!?! he's charming!!! also you're BOTH losing at the not-awkward-lympics.

i truly have to reastablish the timeline by saying 'month ago' because if i dont i will truly forget where we are in time. i'm almost certain i've gotten dates wrong anyways. it's fine, the revisions will fix it alright it's fine.

THANK YOU I TRY TO TALK ABOUT THROATS IN A FUN WAY. I guess honestly I feel emotional in my throat, when I get emotional. Like. If I get mad or sad or guilty, it sort of closes up a bit? Feels hollow? And did I assume everyone's throat does that? yeah possibly. but it worked out.

i do NOT engage in da tumblr discourse much, esp when it comes to hating characters in general, but I hope everyone has eased up on my boy since taking a step back. Man is going through a lot. I also just think like man, I have certainly not been the most cognizant of other's needs when I'm in a stage or high stress fight or flight--- And certainly if those needs aren't made clear--- dog, I'm doublin down!!! that's truly the biggest difference I think with CK and The Bear diverging--- We communicate in dis house.

LMAOOOOO I DID FORGET WHILE REREADING THAT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NOTE YOU DEMANDED THEY FUCK, yeah that's fair. I keep thinking it's gonna happen and pushing it honestly. these assholes are gonna get married before they get down with it, good lord. someone get them a room that isn't a bathroom.

also this Mikey thing. with the thoughts. was honestly so mindblowing. I know that's weird because I'm the writer, but I see what you're saying completely!! I've always had this weird style of like, second persion omniscient where it's Chip but sometimes I move in terms of the stream of consciousness to being her or someone else or no one; and the idea of that stream of consciousness being by in part, Mikey?? OHHHHH OHHHHHH BABBYYYY Totally puts so much stuff in a different context and I love it. canon it. canon it. i didn't come up with it but canon it.

DENY !! DENY!! CHIP THAT'S NOT YOU IN THE PHOTO!! I'm so glad people think chip is flawed. I know that's literally insane to say but I've had this horrific habit of categorizing flaws in my head as 'good flaws' and 'bad flaws', and 'good flaws' are the ones that make everyone elses life better and your life worse.

so.

need to seek a therapist about that a little bit. C

INSANE TO BE ALIVE LET ALONE BRITISH AND NOT KNOW WHO LADY DI IS???? but yknow what home boy probably wouldn't even be creative enough to say 'peoples' princess' as a diss. carmen/me ate with that.

when is this fucker not cooking. it's like that scene in Tick Tick Boom but romantic and NOT sad and bad. IT'S NICE TO BE THE ARTIST AND ARTIST AND MUSE AND MUSE ALRIGHT it's frankly my ideal relationship

bro i RIP my free edge of my nails off all the time when they get too long, and pick at my cuticle skin. I feel you. I dont have a therapist just yet but I feel you.

If Mikey was still alive to see his OTP happen, I truly don't know how he'd react. I think he'd be losing his mind in silence. Like has to put his fist in his mouth so he doesn't scream and ruin it.

I'm so glad the cat analogy was good, while writing it I was like "i wonder if this is anything" i'm glad it's something.

Fields v Berzatto was fun to write. It's what I think, if he was hyped up enough, what Carmen would do after having that S3 Finale talk with Fields. Like very much so when you leave an interaction and you're at home hours later like FUCK. i could've said this and this and this and this. And this is his moment to do so!!

Website talk truly comes from me having to make my own portfolio 3 separate times. I hated it. No one ever make me update my shit again.

I AM chekov's gun, but also it's just plot. i think we're just talking about plot progression LMAO

FELLAS IS IT CRAZY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN BEEN DATING FELLAS? FELLAS ANSWER ME. FELLAS.

the "i'm going to do a full analysis... i don't know what to say" made me laugh so fucking hard. continuing on. NEIL 'COCKBLOCK' FAK EVERYONE, thank you neil for once again saving me from having to write intimacy, you're my hero

man if i need to end at 20 chapters like i'm goaling to, THESE CHAPTERS NEED TO BE LONGGG I HAVE TO GIVE SO MUCH. so. this pattern of ridiculous word counts continues.

the two cats!! feline gang. get your PAWS off MY CHIP!!!

Can I just. so briefly touch on. I know my timeline is off in CK, because I think it's May/March 2023 in S3? Can't remember. It was dated in episode 2. But like. I am so mad about this. Because that means they skipped/didn't acknowledge:

November 15th, Mikey's birthday, first one without him. (Which, fun fact, and incidental, timeline wise in CK, this would probably be the day Carmen/Chip met since it's mid-late December for them?)

The First Christmas Without Mikey.

AND February 22nd, his Death Anniversary. are you fucking KIDDING ME? WE JUST SKIPPED ALL OF THIS IN THE RENO SKIPS? ARE YOU FUCKING JOSHING ME? THESE ARE SUCH INTEGRAL MOMENTS. NOW I HAVE TO MAKE EM UP MYSELF?!?!?! HELP ME OUT STORER PLEASE.

anyways. carmen thing's he's bad or wtv. too bad he's a weird rat.

i think carmen honestly loves dress up. like he owned so many jean jackets and jeans and also lived in denmark and New York. Like. he'd love to style Chip, truly. also wants her to be on his team and have an easily removable apron but that's neither here nor there.

I love stupid and meaningless that is deep with meaning!!! that's my memo baby that's my number!!

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFEEEEEE WATCH THE TAPES BACK HE KIND OF DID.

I would say more, but I HAVE to go put together chapter 15 and put it out for you. this is all to say thank you so much for your thoughts i remember reading them in the morning and gigglin and being late for work. good times. i always love to read your brain!!

[observercamus]

Ishq bol raha hai, Samajhdar chup rahe \\

[mxtomituck]

[niyavanilla]

DON'T SAY THE G WORD

IF YOU SAY GAY ON TUMBLR THE LESBIAN CHATBOTS COME AND HUNT YOU

[marrymepickering]

Pretty Smitty (thank you @chuckschippedchomper for providing me with content)