#Don't even get me started about the other dietary restrictions
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sommerbueckers · 5 months ago
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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝
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✰ 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮
✰ 𝐰𝐜 :: 𝟐𝐤
✰ 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭...𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧.
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EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY HOW it was supposed to be. All the guests had arrived on time and were clad in an array of pastel colors, the menu had been carefully crafted to cater to everyone's dietary restrictions, and the weather was forecasted to be warm and sunny throughout the entirety of the day. You should've been ecstatic, and yet you could hardly breathe.
You sat hunched over in a chair, a worn bucket positioned in front of you in case you needed to vomit. Tears welled in your eyes, on the verge of spilling down your cheeks and ruining your meticulously applied makeup. The prospect of falling ill just moments before walking down the aisle was a dreadful scenario, yet you couldn't compose yourself. You clutched your hand to your chest, your face contorting in a painful grimace.
"I can't do this..." you mumbled, more so to yourself than to the other women in the room, your bridesmaids, "I can't do it."
Your best friend, and maid of honor, had been at your side since the moment you started feeling sick. Her hand hadn't left your back, soothingly rubbing up and down as she barked orders at everyone. It was always like her to take charge and ensure things remained intact when you started to crumble, it was the reason you two worked so well together. It was the reason you could trust her to put you back together whilst you sat still and helpless.
"Somebody get Paige," she said aloud.
"No!" you cried, looking frantically at her, "No, no I don't want her to see me like this, she can't."
"Honey," she wore a look of sympathy as she spoke to you, "you gotta breathe. I'm gonna leave and she's gonna come in here, you're gonna be fine."
You could only nod in response. Morgan had always been adept at reassuring you, persuading you that everything was fine even when it felt like your world was unraveling. As the room gradually emptied, leaving just the two of you, you finally gave in to the tears, allowing the warm droplets to slowly trickle down your face.
Morgan held you tightly, her own eyes pricking with tears at the sight of her best friend in shambles.
You felt frustrated with yourself. Today was meant to be the happiest day of your life; after seven years of dreaming about it, you and Paige were finally getting married. It was the start of a new chapter you had eagerly anticipated. Yet here you were, on the verge of ruining everything because you couldn't manage your emotions. Why couldn't you just get a grip? Why couldn't you just focus on everything good that was to come instead of everything that could go wrong?
What if this doesn't work out?
What if she falls out of love?
What if she feels like you're trapping her?
Paige could hear your sobs through the door, and her own nerves rose at the mere sound of it. She hadn't been told why you were crying, all she knew was that you had refused to leave the room multiple times. Her hands shook as she grabbed the doorknob, twisting it open to reveal you and Morgan sitting in the corner. She could've sworn she felt her heart break in that moment, she had never seen you this pained.
Morgan stood to her feet, placing a kiss to your temple before approaching Paige at the door.
"What happened?" Paige whispered with furrowed brows, her eyes bouncing back and forth between Morgan and you.
"I have no clue," she shook her head, "she said she couldn't breathe and then she just broke down...I don't know what to do Paige." It was the first time in her entire life that Morgan had no idea how to calm you down, she was beginning to panic as well.
"I got it," Paige reassured her, watching her leave and then shutting the door after her.
As she carefully approached you, she could hear you mumbling frenziedly into your hands. Your bouquet was on the ground beside you, a combination of pink and white hibiscuses all tied together with a blush colored bow. The two of you had gone out to pick them yourselves, Paige wanted them to be just right for you. They were perfect, everything was perfect, why were you crying?
"'M'sorry," you sobbed, "'m'so sorry."
She comfortingly wrapped her arms around you, pulling you closer to her.
"What happened baby? Tell me what's wrong," she whispered.
"I can't do it," you repeated for the second time that day.
"Can't do what?" she frowned. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, to assume that by 'I can't do it' you meant marrying her. She couldn't lose you, she wouldn't.
"What if...if this is a mistake?" you panted, avoiding her eyes as she fought to catch yours. "What if later on you meet somebody else or you realize that i'm not enough for you?"
It was then that she realized this wasn't about you at all, it was about her. You were scared that she was getting cold feet, that she was having second thoughts, that her mind wasn't made up. She held you closer to her, kissing the top of your head as her own tears began to fall. She wondered if it had been something she had done to convince you that she wasn't all about you, that she wouldn't pick you in a room full of every other woman in the world.
She pulled away from you to get a better look at your face, holding either side of your face with her hands. "Stop talking like that, stop. That shit is never gonna happen and I know that for a fact. I can sit up here right now and tell you that falling out of love with you is several levels above impossible."
You blinked out more tears, staring silently at her as she professed her undying love for you.
"I am so in love with you it scares me. Every day that I wake up and can't be with you because i'm away for basketball or i'm out with some friends or anything else, all I do is think about you. And even when i'm with you, i'm still thinking about you. I can't even keep my hands off of you, like i'd need to be physically restrained for that to happen. You make me wanna do things i've never done before like jump out of a plane or swim in that little ass cage with the sharks around it because all I wanna do it impress you. I want you to stare at me with those big brown eyes and tell me how much you love me, and I wanna record your laugh so I can listen to it on repeat whenever you're not around.
I want you to force me to watch romcom movies that you've seen a thousand times and are only watching again because you want me to see them. I wanna come home really late at night and find you sleeping on the couch in my clothes because you missed me, and then in the morning I want you to tell me how you tried to stay up to see me when I came home. I'm planning to take you to all the countries that you've dreamed about visiting and just haven't had the time yet. I'm gonna be front row at your med school graduation with a huge poster of your face that blocks everyone behind me from seeing you. I wanna go back and forth with you over what to name our first kid, and I wanna combine all of our money so we can build an obnoxiously big house.
I swear to God, and I never swear to him so that's how you know I'm being so serious, I'll be damned if I spend my life with anyone other than you. Nobody else is worth my time. All I need is you baby, that's fucking it."
You and Paige were bawling together, both of your makeup needing desperately to be redone. It would push the wedding back for sure, but that didn't matter now, Paige loved you.
You pulled her in for a kiss, ignoring the way both of your tears were mixing together. She wouldn't touch anything other than your arms, not wanting to ruin your dress.
"I love you. I'm not leaving this spot until you understand that," Paige said firmly.
You nodded your head, swallowing the lump in your throat that had begun to shrink since the moment Paige stepped in here.
"I understand it."
"Do you still wanna do this?"
You shook your head, watching intently as Paige let out a sigh but nodded nonetheless.
"I'm kidding! Fuck, let's fucking do this!"
Paige playfully pushed your shoulder, narrowing her eyes as she stood up. "I'm gonna go grab that fancy makeup lady and tell her to get you right, and then i'm telling Morgan to work her magic and impress everybody with one of her weird talents to buy us time," she explained quickly, "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes! I'm fine, now go and fix the mess I made," you laughed.
She placed another quick peck on your lips, hurrying out of the room and leaving you alone with your thoughts again. This time however, they were a thousand times more collected than before. You laughed at yourself, you were silly to second guess Paige's love for you. She had never, not once, given you a reason to. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your face was a wreck and it'd take a miracle to hide the swelling of your eyes. But again, none of that mattered.
Paige loved you.
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chelemlem · 1 year ago
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For the prompts: 5 times Oscar takes care of Lando and 1 time Lando takes care of him Back!
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ty anon! hope u don't mind that i combined 2 prompts + made it LOVE ISLAND AU ↓ (why is this 1k)
"Watch your step," their driver says sharply, half a second before Lando's loafers slip on a particularly wet patch of earth climbing out the car.
"Cheers, mate," Lando says, heart thundering. Jesus. Fine way to start off his reality T.V career. Week one and out of the running 'cause he split his head open on some fucking rocks. 
Lando extracts his fingers from around the guy's bicep. Huh, not bad. He wasn’t trying to cop a feel, but.
"Anytime."
And he’s back to squinting at something on his digital notebook. Pale and rumpled, he looks out of place in the Majorca sunshine. There's a subtle furrow between his brows, like he’s got a long list of tasks to get through, and Lando’s just the first.
"That was close," George fusses, strategically sliding an arm around Lando's shoulder in a way that both highlights their height difference and show off his delts. One of those posh Cotswold types; harmless enough. Lando'd picked him for his first date because at the end of the day, they wanted the same thing—to win.
"Yeah, scary," Lando blinks up at him. Giggles for the cameras.
 
Lando's going to quit. 
Or like. Sue someone. He stares down at his pre-packaged meal, stomach turning. This was the one thing, the one thing he listed as part of his dietary restrictions, and still—
A shadow falls across his lap.
"Here," the PA from before says. Brown hair, thighs. Oscar?
Lando eyes the unmarked takeaway box hovering in front of him with suspicion. It smells okay. And anything's better than fish.
"Chicken rice," Oscar clarifies, handing him a spoon to match. "Thai okay?"
Oh. Lando gives him a smile, small but genuine. So someone did read the profile they made him write. Who would've thought?
Oscar clears his throat. "If you need anything else, just—I'll be over there."
He hightails it to where Luisa and the other girls are holding court around the firepit, sliding his headset back on as he goes. Nice arse too. 
Crew aren't allowed to speak to the islanders, if Max’s rudimentary Reddit trawl is to be believed, but whatever. Lando's not one for rules anyway.
He tucks into his chicken rice and tries to think of other things he needs. 
"There's a new bombshell arriving today," Oscar casually lets slip at mic-up. Quietly, under his breath.
The fuck? It's only been forty-eight hours since Nyck got here. Or maybe longer—who the fuck knows with the way time passes in the villa. There's nothing to do but tan and flirt, the sun setting on the same listless, lazy day forever. Forever. 
But more importantly—
"They hotter than me?"
Oscar's face does this put-upon little thing before sliding back to neutral. Instead of responding, he winds the mic pack around Lando's waist, bending down to secure it at his hips. 
Lando knows how to do it himself by now. Oscar knows Lando knows.
"By a fair bit, I reckon," he says finally, and escapes before Lando can call him a liar. 
"Also, you've got a terrible poker face. At least pretend to be touched when he surprises you with breakfast." 
"He made me eggs and toast, mate. Not exactly Michelin-star, is it?" Or chicken rice, for that matter.
Oscar sighs. "Next week's vote's going to the public. Just so you know."
Lando's not worried. He's survived this long—longer than Daniel, even, who won fan favourite, week two—so clearly there's something he's doing right.
He sort of wants out, anyway. He misses his phone. God, he misses sex. Everyone talks a big game, but when it actually comes down to it they're fucking, like, shy about doing it in front of the cameras. And the cameras are bleeding everywhere. Lando would know.
The only reprieve, or something like it, is—Oscar. 
He's not exactly forthcoming with chatter, but through the power of being cute and annoying, Lando learns a lot about him anyway. 
Like how he's a fan of the cricket. And he's got three sisters, none of whom give a fuck about the show. And how apparently being a former cub scout makes him some kind of authority on tying people up. 
"Just saying those knots seemed loose, is all." 
Lando feels a smirk coming on. "Watching, were you?" 
Oscar rolls his eyes. "I review the Hideaway footage to make sure it's fit for broadcast, yes."
"Kinky."
"Good job. Really defended my honour there." 
"Fuck off," Oscar says, surprisingly calm for someone with bruises trawling the side of their face.
"Dunno why you thought you could take him. He's got like two stone and six centimetres on you. And Charles heard he's done amateur boxing—"
"Got one decent one in there, at least?"
"Element of surprise, s'all it was."
Lando gives up with the bandages. He has no idea what he's doing—and his hands are shaking too much to be of any real use. Best leave it to medical.
"Oscar," he says, rubbing his eyes. His thumb comes away damp. Christ, this better not end up on telly. "The fuck were you thinking, mate." 
Oscar exhales long and hard. His voice is softer when he says: "Sorry. Wasn't really… thinking."
Lando punches his arm lightly—the good one.
"Next time, just. Ask me out normally, alright?"
"They're not firing me," Oscar's voice sounds stunned through the phone, coloured with relief. It's the most emotion Lando's ever heard out of him. Well, second most. "Did you—?"
"My agent said me and Carlos can call it quits two months after the finale," Lando interrupts. It's important, after all.
There's quiet over the line. He can hear Oscar breathing. In out, in out. 
"And what did you say?"
Lando leans forward, against the dash of his borrowed McLaren. The one he's being paid to drive around in, posting selfies with wine and roses in the passenger's. 
Runner's up is first loser and all that, but. It's still a pretty good deal.
"Told her I'll do two weeks." 
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maladaptive-day-dreams · 2 years ago
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Dollar Tuesday Movies
eddie munson x gn!reader, fluff, 744 words
I haven’t written fluff in a hot minute and was daydreaming about this scenario with my crush today so I figure I’d put it to good use (it's five dollar tuesday's where I'm at but I figure in Hawkins in the 80's $1 seems reasonable (don't @ me idk shit about inflation other than it sucks ass)
literally all fluff: first kiss, first ily, mention of reader having an unspecified dietary restriction (I most likely have PCOS so that was def a self-insert there LOL)
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You and Eddie "the freak" Munson have had standing movie nights for the last three Tuesdays in a row, and for an unnumbered amount of Tuesdays in the future. Doesn’t matter what movie is out, Tuesday’s are dollar movie nights at the theater in the town over so you take turns driving there once a week.
Your third movie night has just ended and the two of you are chatting about the film shown tonight as you walk to your car under the streetlight in the parking lot. The conversation continues as you get comfortable in the car. You sit and talk for at least another 10 minutes before there’s a lull long enough for you to move to turn on the engine, but Eddie’s voice stops you.
“Hey, y/n?”
You turn back towards him from how you’d rearranged yourself to face the steering wheel. “Yeah?”
“Have you ever thought about these being dates?”
“I mean they’re our Tuesday Movie Dates aren’t they?” you chuckle, confused at his question.
“I mean date dates.”
You search his face for a moment. All throughout high school, every summer, you hoped that your friendship might grow into something more but decided after a while to just enjoy Eddie as he was and nothing more. There was no point in pining for him if it could ruin your friendship. But you won’t deny that your heart fluttered when he first asked you to go to s dollar movie night, and then wordlessly asked again, and again.
His gaze is heavy on your face as your thoughts race, “y’know what, forget about it.” He laughs it off, “I was just wondering.”
“Yeah,” you breathe. “I’d like them to be date dates,” you hesitate. “If you’d want that too?” 
Eddie smiles wide, “yeah I want that too. Especially because now that we’re on our third date, I can ask if I can kiss you.”
You laugh and smile at the curly haired boy in your passenger seat. “Yeah, you can kiss me.”
And he does, and it’s soft and sweet and short. A perfect first kiss.
* * * 
It’s been three months since you’re first kiss and two months and two weeks of you “going steady” as Steve put it when he asked what you and Munson were. Tuesday’s are still your dollar movie dates but this Tuesday is Eddie’s birthday so instead of movie night, the two of you are headed two towns over for dinner at a nice restaurant courtesy of Wayne and the gang.
It’s your turn to drive—even though Eddie tried to get rid of that tradition once you two became an official couple—so Eddie is perched in your passenger seat, chatting about the latest DND campaign.
“Oh side note,” he breaks from talking about Dustin absolutely destroying a zombie, “I checked on the menu beforehand to make sure you could eat something there. They have a few options that should be ok and I wrote them down.”
He starts rummaging in the pockets of his jeans and the blazer Robin got for him to wear to the restaurant—not his usual style but it’s a fancier place so he figured he’d oblige.
“Oh my god,” you laugh, holding out your right hand between you, palm up so he can hold it while you drive. “You’re literally so cute, I love you.”
Eddie’s rummaging stalls and you can feel him staring at you. He looks at you as if you hold the sun in your outstretched palm and you finally register the words that just escaped your lips.
You’re terrified that you’ve said those three words too fast, that he doesn’t feel the same, that his lack of response is him ready to open the door and duck and roll out of the car and away from you; but instead, in your peripheral vision you see a wide-toothed grin find a home on his lips, as his left hand softly embraces your right and he pulls your intertwined hands towards his mouth.
He kisses the back of your hand and says,”I love you.”
And you let out the breath you were holding.
“Say it again.”
“I love you, Eddie.”
His smile is still so wide as he says, “I love you, y/n,” and kisses your hand.
There’s never a too. It’s never a just because or a reply to you. It’s his own statement, that he wants to give each and every time.
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aurore-parle-de-ses-idees · 26 days ago
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oh! you rebloged that ask list too! I got so caught up in answering my own inbox I forgot to send you numbers ^^;
let's see... how about 5, 9, 12, 28, annnnd 32 for Est (+ whoever else you want to talk about!) :3
asdfsd i didn't get around to any of it til now anyway haha; dw
5. how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?
exceedingly practical! this is enabled by the fact that what she finds most comfortable just so happens to overlap with things that are good for adventuring. she loves a good heavy-duty pants and sturdy boots and heavy cloak setup. every once in awhile she'll be in the mood for something fancier; then she likes real flowy stuff that doesn't cling to her or get twisted weird when she tries to climb a tree or whatever because she forgot she wasn't wearing pants lol
9. favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?
ohhh idk what her favorites are. she's not really picky, and she'll try anything at least once- she almost got used to Viznak Swamp Stew even haha. can't go wrong with a good soup. she likes making pastries a lot more than eating them. she doesn't exactly have access to things like fruit gummies or sour patch kids or whatever, but she wouldn't be a fan of how they get stuck in her teeth. she likes some spice, but it's not her favorite seasoning. there are a couple recipes she got from the zhelruka that she's actually really fond of, but they often don't come out quite right for her (enough differences in ingredients mostly). she doesn't see the appeal of mushrooms; they're fine but why do they inspire such strong opinions in some people?
12. how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?
oh wait is this. in world or out lol. in world she's somewhere between 750 and 800; i don't think i ever picked something more specific than that (and if i did i probably changed my mind three times afterwards). i may have picked a season for her birthday but?? i didn't write it down anywhere immediately accessible to me so [shrugs]. we'll say it's in the early summer this time. out of world she's a little more than five years old by now; i started writing her stuff in fall 2019 when i got to the end of the grey company arc and discovered my pc had grown a personality when i wasn't looking
as for est's opinions on birthdays... she enjoys it well enough, but mostly it's just another day. it's good for having another excuse to get some friends together and hang out, but other than that she's rather ambivalent on it (she Loved them when she was real little though lol)
28. how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?
est: feel free to talk about this thing you like for as long as you want :) of course i'll come with you; where are we going? do you want to learn a rune? please be safe. i'm right here, promise.
32. do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?
oh yeah. i wouldn't say it's odd that she collects rocks the way she does, really, but her criteria do seem baffling to most people lol. she also tends to keep notes on things her friends like and talk about a lot. she wants them to be able to talk all they want, but she's afraid of forgetting stuff and not being able to actually hold a conversation about it. she's also a little bit of a packrat about sentimental things especially, which is why her runebag is always full of random junk
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if-loki-was-a-fox · 1 year ago
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I just randomly found ur blog and am now OBSESSED with the whole avian!mumbo concept
…….tell me everything there needs to be known abt it please I want to draw little bird boy (even tho my main way of doodlin mumbo is vampire but I WANT BIRD)
(apologies for the ramble I live laugh love moustache man)
(here's the previous avian!mumbo post for anyone curious)
It has taken me far too long to get the chance to respond to this ask and I have been so impatient because adjsaklfhaskghjd someone actually saw and enjoyed my unedited babbling about avian!mumbo :')
anyways I think I already said most of what I have coherent ideas on, and the rest is just nebulous vibes and happiness and fluff and hurt/comfort potential, but! I can share doodles and also reiterate/expand upon stuff I have already said
(putting it below a cut so I can make it soso long)
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WING FLAPPIES!! I feel like this would definitely be something he'd appreciate about having wings, because I feel like it would be a more satisfying expression of emotion than like. stomping or bouncing or whatever. He would also totally struggle to control his avian body language, you can read his wings/ears/tail like a book, he's so unused to paying attention to and stifling his bird gestures. (Grian finds this beyond hilarious especially, because he can read Mumbo even better than everyone else being another avian)
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His wings are red and black, though I haven't entirely decided if I'm gonna switch which goes where to make it match Grian's wings better. Since Grian is a Scarlet Macaw, Mumbo really ought to be too, but that would look just. so goofy. with his color scheme
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AND SPEAKING OF LOOKING GOOFY- his wings look so silly for the first couple weeks. Until the feathers grow in properly, they're just kind of gradually more fluffy. raw chicken. wings. stuck to his back. because that's what baby parrots look like apparently! And then also pin feathers, before finally being pretty feathery bird wings
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He also just accidentally passively collects the other members of Boatem's clothes. Grian does this too, but intentionally. Mumbo just does it without realizing and then gets confused about it because he doesn't understand the whole nesting thing, so someone else has to explain it to him
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Oh and Mumbo tries to just go about his life without any changes or accommodations for his wings at first, because he doesn't want to ruin his clothes or generally have to change his routines. Grian and the others do not put up with this and persuade him to take proper care of the wings instead (<- this is a constant uphill battle for months)
On a more overarching note, Mumbo initially Does Not Like the wings, because they're just tiny and kind of ugly things that get in the way of his elytra and make him have to get all his shirts edited and they don't really do anything but cause him problems. Then once the wings start getting feathers and stuff and they have to start making preparations for learning to fly, it kind of becomes a bit of a bonding thing that brings Boatem together, with Mumbo starting to get used to them and accept them, and everyone else being able to help out with their care some (preening, stretches and exercises...).
Ultimately (probably sometime around HC 9), Mumbo ends up quite loving his wings in the long run. Once they're fully grown they're actually pretty impressive (since he's so tall they end up being a fair bit larger than Grian's, much to his annoyance) and Mumbo ends up putting a fair bit of effort into their upkeep and keeping them all nice looking (at least, when he's not too busy with other projects). He does still find a bunch of the other avian traits a little embarrassing (nesting, chirping, dietary restrictions, wings giving away his thoughts...) but he gets used to them.
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edwinspaynes · 1 year ago
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buckle up, buttercups, i'm about to tell you about the most insane two weeks of my life
okay. so to preface this, i have definitely had an edible or two. so it's going to have kinda weird prose.
when i was a junior in high school, i went with my chinese class on a 2 week long exchange program to china. it was a really amazing country, rich in history and culture, and i am so glad i went.
but there was a catch.
my chaperon - we'll just call her laoshi - was the absolute worst chaperone ever. like, literally, worst in the history of mankind. before we went to china, she refused to get a new cell phone sim that would work in the country. so we had absolutely no means of contacting her if we didn't know her whereabouts. she also failed to convey our allergy information and other dietary restrictions in china, so i was fed oily carrot soup. (she also deadass gave us alcohol several times)
but everything was worse for my raw-vegetable vegan roommate. we'll call her o. o was a wonderful person.
when we were in china, we were on a tour trip. so we got all of our amenities. part of that was one (1) bottle of water to last the entire day. laoshi failed to get us more water, and it was scarce in our locations. tap water isn't potable, so we were at the whims of street vendors with water bottles and they were not everywhere. even if they were, laoshi wouldnt necessarily let us stop. it was about 115 degrees farenheit.
she also did not tell us where she would be staying. we asked her to take us to the pool one night, she literally just told us to get in the van with a strange dude and went to her room qhere we had no way of contacting her. we declined the ride and the trip to the pool because we had to be responsible for ourselves.
two of the kids in my group started dating, d and k. they were staying in each other's rooms every night and having sex. the teacher, at the end of the trip ddid not know they were dating and they were super into pda.
my o the raw vegetable vegan has no choice but to eat meat for the duration of the trip. this inevitably makes her extremely sick. one night, she is throwing up from the other side of the hotel bed. over and over. she is so ill and so miserable. i am scared for her safety but WOOT WOOT can't call a teacher. so i, age 16, am now tasked with this situation. so i go down to the desk and ask the hotel manager where she is. they don't know. it is a nightmare. i ask for them to send a cleaner.
i go back up to the room. o thinks some tea might settle her stomach a bit and i agree, so i make a pot of tea. i am so exhausted. it is like 4 am. i have been cleaning up after o and helping her all night. so i am stupid and i pour the hot, BOILING water on my hand. i shit you not. i sustained third degree burns. but still have no means of contacting an adult.
the cleaning lady comes. she begins to vomit sympathetically.
i am in the worst possible position. o is crying and apologizing and i am crying over my hand. so i go down to the front desk to get burn heal cream. we also had a conversation about getting a laxative for my roommate. i don't know how to say laxative. i say 'you take medicine, you get diarhea' because laoshi had taught us those words.
the entire rest of the trip is me applying that (very good) salve and reapplying gauze in the bathroom so laoshi doesnt notice the serious medical issue emerging on my hand.
o is meanwhile still vilely ill. i'm sad because i love her. we are super close at this point because we've undergone this horrific experience together in 2 weeks.
the rest of our trip, she doesn't notice. we get on the plane. i ask d and k if they want me to change seats so they can be together. laoshi asks why
@thevagabondexpress
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modern-inheritance · 7 months ago
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Human Rider Changes
Brom wasn't altered the way Eragon was, but in MIC I'm gonna say even the human Riders were altered by the bond, beyond the slightly more elfish appearance and pointed ears.
Over time Humans start getting the more pointed tooth shape that unaltered elves are born with. It takes FAR longer, but they also start to grow a very thin version of the controllable tapetum lucidum, but most can't use it the way elves can at will.
Human Riders also begin to get faster reflexes, larger energy stores, slightly higher than normal strength and endurance for their physiques, increased night vision in general, and I really really want to say longer periods of high neuroplasticity (ease of learning, adaptations, etc) going further into adulthood (though neuroplasticity IS seen in adults, it's not to the extent seen in childhood, but don't quote me on that I haven't read up on it very much lately) but I don't have a reason for that really. I feel like elves naturally keep a fairly high level of neuroplasticity, maybe some effect of dragons ancestral memories (god damn i wanna explore that too and for some reason I think it would lead me to papers and fish and birds and I'm....I'm not up for that just yet).
Magic use can speed up these changes, though it's still a very gradual process. One of the risk factors, however, is that while their strength is not terribly increased, there's still a posibility that their strength can be dangerous to them. Magic use is typically restricted to practice and training while being taught by masters so that explosive use of magic won't lead to a far faster increase in strength, before the bones have adapted to it.
Elves, when they have access to it, incorporate a leafy green called Tinleaf into their diets, along with a variety of (currently unnamed, let me cook) fruits and other vegge that grow in Du Weldenvarden and were brought to the Rider's island. Tinleaf and these other foods are high in dietary titanium, nickel chloride/sulfate, and zirconium silicate, all used in their bone structure which incoperates alloys that allow them to be so resistant to their strength without shattering bones by walking and hitting things. When out of the forest/not around sources of these food/plants, elves have supplements they can take if without natural sources for too long.
wait what was i talking about
OH.
These changes are why Arya is still a bit baffled/confused when she's with the Varden and learning of all these things these humans can't do/don't have going on with their bodies. Brom's changes were still early stage, but he still had some, and she just kinda assumed they were all like that. She was practically a kid at that point, confused why the books she read didn't mention any of that stuff, and then Caleb, Sam, Simon and the rest are having to explain a LOT.
I also found it both jarring and a nice reminder when reading Murtagh (shhhh look okay I just want the fancy cover one and then I'll finish it the ADHD is not good with these things I can't just sit and read anymore it's painful and I don't know why. You know what, send me a hurricane, knock my power out for a week, and I'll finish it before the deluxe release.) that Eragon is NOT the norm for human Riders. He is not human anymore. He is more elf. His strength and energy stores are FAR beyond what human Riders were capable of, unless i just haven't reached some plot twist yet.
I would say that it made the Forsworn make so much more sense, but a VAST majority of the Forsworn we know were elves. Human Riders could have had so much resentment towards their elven counterparts, even with their partners by their side and all the gifts the bonding gave them, it could have been almost crushing to see what elf Riders could do even without formal training.
I wanted/want to put Murtagh on somewhat more even footing after the war in MIC. Without Galbatorix's spells, he's still far more human than Eragon, but he's stronger than any other human man of his size, stature and physique, he's faster, he learns faster, and he can maintain and cast spells well beyond what a regular human mage can, even with training. With more Ancient Language under his belt, more time with Thorn, more practice, he would be (and is) well beyond anything any human could accomplish even with both training for decades and a wealth of natural talent.
Maybe at some point a more significant though still gradual increase in strength, speed, ect, all the elfy things, is introduced to the Rider Bond using the Word/the Name. Resentment from the non-elven students is something I worry about if other Rider species/races are left with nothing to put them at an equal level.
this got off the rails. whoops.
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hillbilly---man · 10 months ago
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tell me all about your trip, what was your favorite thing you did, what's something neat you didn't expect, did you eat anything cool did you buy any souvenirs
Aaaaaaah thanks for asking! It's hard to answer so I've been thinking on it for a bit lol
My favorite thing I did:
Genuinely I don't know! I'm inclined to answer Ishinomaki/Tashirojima (Cat Island) though, mostly because of how off-the-beaten-path it was.
For some reference, most people who visit Japan for the first time (while technically it wasn't my first, it was my first as a tourist so I planned it like a first-timer) stick to a relatively small area: Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, etc, sometimes heading to Hiroshima.
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[not that I think you personally need a geography lesson Kas but just in case someone reading this might]
But this place was up in Tōhoku (inside the red heart on the map) so it didn't have that touristy feel.. which isn't a bad thing to have but I thought it was neat to get away from that for a bit.
But yeah! In addition to that incredible hotel I mentioned in my other post (Tama Hotel in Ishinomaki), the city was really chill and the island was gorgeous. It had this whole "old declining fishing village vibe" to it which was so interesting. Plus the views of the sea were incredible:
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Not to mention the cats! Which, despite the reputation of Japan's animal islands seemed to be in no worse health than your average stray cats I'd say. Several were also neutered. The island didn't feel overrun, it just seemed like a place with a whole bunch of them. And they were so friendly! We'd be walking down the street and a cat would see us and just start excitedly trotting towards us and beg for pets. My sister even got to hold a bunch of them! (You're not supposed to forcibly pick them up, so she wouldn't hold them if they showed even the first sign of wanting down)
A gif of them as a gift:
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Something neat I didn't expect:
I didn't expect people to be so delighted by us speaking extremely basic Japanese to them!
Well, I did kind of expect it a little bit I didn't think it would be SUCH A BIG DEAL.
I've been very casually learning Japanese for a while, but it's mostly Duolingo so it's not like I like, know the language or anything. I went there with some vocabulary and just enough confidence to use a word or two. But when I hit a cashier with a "daijoubu" (I'm fine) when they ask if I need a bag or even just an "arigatou gozaimasu" (thank you) at the end they seem to be so much happier about the interaction. I honestly wonder if they're used to white tourists being kind of difficult and stubborn.
By far the most unexpected bit of useful vocabulary I used was "douzo":
Exiting an elevator at the same time as someone else? Old lady gets on the bus and you want to give her your seat? Someone in a store reaches for the same product you were reaching for?
Just gesture to the thing you're offering, smile, and say "douzo" to let them know they can go ahead. Doing that got me so many smiles from people! One old couple was so happy about it that they talked to us for a little while (we didn't understand much of each other but I caught that they were in their 80s and they caught that we were going to the aquarium) and they even helped us find our next train!
Did I eat anything cool?
I felt like I didn't really get a chance to be very adventurous with food this time! My sister is very picky and refuses to eat pork (it's not a dietary restriction or anything, she just thinks it's gross), raw fish, or cold entrees. Also, we were both pretty sensitive to the smell of seafood during the trip. This meant we were really limited on things like ramen, bento, sushi, etc.
We relied a little too much on American chain restaurants I think. But we did get to eat some good Japanese food though!
We went to this one place called Yakiniku Like (it's a chain and I think it's kinda trendy on tiktok bc it's very tourist friendly). You get a small grill in your table and you order your meat on an iPad and cook it yourself. It was pretty good! Not very adventurous or interesting though.
Snack foods are good too! I finally got to try Japanese pudding (good!), coffee jelly (not my thing but I understand why that pink haired kid I'm always posting about likes it so much), convenience store fried chicken (heavenly), and those strawberry-whipped cream sandwiches they sell at 7-11 (why the hell don't they sell those here).
Also, so many green grape flavored candies! We should do that more
Did I buy any souvenirs?
A little bit!
I spent most of my money on food/transport/logistics so I kind of found myself hesitant to buy too much stuff. I did get a bunch of pins and magnets though!
My pins:
I'm not taking them off my bag but I've circled the new ones! I got a bunch of vintage Olympics pins at a flea market on our first day, and I also got some from the Ghibli Museum and Rabbit Island.
(also in looking at this, I just now realized that I have two Lake Placid 1980 pins on my bag....)
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And my magnets:
I collect refrigerator magnets when I travel even more consistently than probably anything else. Every time I travel somewhere I try to get at least one. I came back from Japan with several, lmfao
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OH! Also I won this ugly little guy in a UFO catcher and I love him
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rotpretty · 2 months ago
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Are you comfortable explaining your disability a little further? From one disabled bitch to another I'm just curious and you don't have to answer this if you're uncomfortable sharing those medical details ♡︎
oh I don't mind! I love amswering stuff about myself, and more info publicly available about disabilities is always important!
I have ulcerative colitis to start, and I don't have a large intestine! I haven't had one since I was 17. I still struggle with some of the symptoms even without the organ, like a poor immune system (covid would kill me), really sore joints, and a lot of dietary restrictions. Right now I cant have whole grains, solid fruits or veggies, and I have a few hard-no foods as well like any kind of cabbage, zucchini, and mushrooms (when I'm not in a flare-up I still eat mushrooms tho, I love them and will deal with the pain when I can tolerate it)
I also have some sort of fistula and open bleeding wound issue in tmi tmi places, gonna see a surgeon and gyno to get some surgery done. After a year of being in agony, and recently being unable to walk, sleep, or sit comfortably, someone finally believes me!
I'm autistic, which I always forget is a disability. I can't work because of it, and severely struggle with socializing in an "appropriate" way (I swear I don't act weird I have like one friend who loves hearing me talk and my partners love me).
I have PTSD and BPD, which is making me borderline agoraphobic due to the paranoia and delusional symptoms mixed with a really easily triggered brain. Doesn't help that men stare at me, I have one of my abusers living in my apartment, and I swear one old guy is basically stalking me because he is ALWAYS downstairs when I get in my bf's car to go to appointments.
Besides that, it's all the other mental health stuff. PMDD usually makes me sick or majorly depressed for a few weeks, this time it's sick probably cuz of everything else going on. OCD is also debilitating for me, especially due to my themes.
Hope this answers your question thoroughly enough!!!
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leiaorganicsolocup · 4 months ago
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why do so many people's pet peeves revolve around the ways in which people eat? it frustrates me to no end
for example, my coworker dislikes the sound of chewing. it's not misophonia, it's not related to mental anything, they simply do not like the sound. but they've said that out loud enough that now i feel self conscious everytime i have to eat at my desk, because our cubicles are open enough you can hear everything
my coworkers also complain about the smell of another coworkers pasta. but that coworker doesn't even work close to us, and we only smell the food when they're coming back from the microwave. but now i feel like i can't bring pasta to work, even though it's a cheap and easy meal
if you think someone's food smells bad? keep it to yourself! someone's eating in a communal area that it's okay to eat in? don't comment on it! at least that person is eating! and the amount of time you have to endure their meal pales in comparison to how long a comment about said meal will stick with a person! it is so hard to already be hyper-aware of food and then also have to take into consideration the pet peeves and loudly declared annoyances of others
obviously i'm not going to microwave fish in a community microwave or eat with my mouth open, but just once i'd like to eat a sandwich without being worried about how loud the veggies in it are
and don't even get me started on people making community food gatherings actively unsafe and hostile to people with dietary restrictions that they already knew about!! the amount of people who forget that the person they're making food for specifically has an allergy or intolerance baffles me
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mishafletcher · 1 year ago
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hi, and welcome to the 'frequently asked questions about cooking is terrible' post! some of these are scattered in other places around my blog, but i figured i'd collect them for ease of reading. if you want to read the promo post about the book, you can go here.
as always, purchase links are collected here, or you can go directly to the amazon listing.
is cooking actually terrible/how can you say you hate cooking/cooking is an art form and you're disrespecting it see, the thing here is that i'm actually a good cook! i've cooked for a living before, i'll happily pull together a meal for fifty with twenty-four hour notice, and i love a cooking project. i love cooking for community. what i fucking hate, though, is having to somehow produce food for myself, and then consume it, multiple times a day, every day, for apparently the entire rest of my life.
some people love cooking, and i genuinely admire you. sometimes i don't mind it or even enjoy it, and on those nights, i don't need this book. sometimes i'm too tired or in too much pain or too busy playing a video game or too depressed, though, and the idea of spending thirty minutes making food i don't care about makes me want to walk into the sea, and on those days, yeah, cooking is terrible.
is this book vegetarian friendly? yes! there are a handful of recipes where the point of it is meat, but probably 90% of the book is either vegetarian or has options to make it vegetarian. i was a vegetarian for about a decade, and still tend not to cook a ton of meat because the cost of messing it up is so high. there are a number of recipes that call for things like 'chunks of chicken or tofu', but tofu is cheap and delicious, so i'm just as likely to use that as i am chicken.
is this book vegan friendly? maybe. if you're comfortable with things like vegan cheese and plant-based yogurt, the answer is probably yes. the biggest issue for vegans will be dairy, but there are a lot of good vegan dairy replacements out there.
is this book friendly for [basically any other dietary restrictions]? yes again! everything is designed to be pretty flexible. if you're comfortable with the basics how to substitute things for your specific needs, you should be fine with this. (by 'basics of how to substitute', i mean 'tamari instead of soy sauce' or 'gluten-free noodles' or 'sunflower seed butter instead of peanut butter' level of substitutions.) i have severe food allergies, so am very much on board the substitutions train.
is this book useful for people with chronic pain and/or mental health issues? you are very literally the target audience, because i, too, am a disabled person with chronic pain and adhd and other assorted mental health issues. when i started writing this book, it wasn't a book—it was a text file that i could read over when my brain wasn't working well enough to provide me with instructions for complex tasks such as 'make sandwich'.
is this useful for people living in [almost literally anywhere in the world]? unless you live in a place where you can't buy staple foods like rice, beans, and vegetables, it's probably useful. i've personally bought everything mentioned in the cookbook at stores in the us and australia, and have also checked availability at tesco and rewe. there are sometimes minor differences in what things are called, and occasionally one thing or the other is entirely unavailable, but probably 99% of ingredients can be easily purchased in most supermarkets.
do i need to have fancy appliances for this to be useful? hard no. there is zero slow cooker, instant pot, stand mixer, or even rice cooker content in this.
i assume that you have a knife, a bowl, and a source of heat. some things are easier (or nicer) if you also have a $20 immersion blender (mine's from kmart), but that's as fancy as we're getting. i wanted to keep the barrier to food as low as possible.
is it easy to modify recipes in this? yes, and a bunch of recipes are either lists of suggestions (sandwiches! rice toppings!) or have variations listed.
what kind of recipes are in this book? there's a range of them.
stuff that needs no cooking at all—sandwiches, dips, smoothies, salads, etc.
bowls of stuff: pasta, rice, soups you can make in ten to fifteen minutes, oats, etc. using ready-cooked rice or pasta is 100% fine by me, so this focuses pretty heavily on quick and easy toppings.
stuff you cook while you watch netflix, like 'throw this into the oven and then ignore it for an hour'. more importantly, lists of ideas for how to use the things you cooked.
baking and desserts, none of which require more than about five minutes of hands-on work.
if this list is insufficiently convincing, i've also put up a couple example recipes here.
which storefront/format is best? honestly and truly, on my end, it doesn't matter that much—after various fees and things come out, it's within about 50c of each other for ebooks, and maybe a dollar for physical books. amazon currently nets me slightly more than other retailers, but that's changed in the past and will likely change again.
on your end, amazon is probably the cheapest way to get a print copy (and—in the interest of full disclosure—is slightly more money for me, as well). amazon's printing costs are significantly less than anyone else's are, so the book is cheaper there.
why are there so many price points? this is partly because publishing at this point is several business models in a trenchcoat, and partly because retailers can set their own prices and discounts. if you see very low prices, especially at big vendors like amazon, they've decided it's worth it to sell the book at a loss. i have no idea why, but i get the same royalties from it.
if you see very high price points—like $40+ for the paperback version—it's because the vendor is using a traditional-publishing business model and pricing accordingly. please do not buy this book for forty dollars. anywhere in north america and europe, the paperback should be between 10 and 20 of the local currency (dollar, pound, or euro); australians might see it as high as $22 because it costs more to have things printed here.
i want to reiterate: please do not buy this book for many tens of dollars. one, maybe two tens, fine. but forty is as many as four tens, and that's terrible.
is there a print version of this book? i used to get this a lot, and then there was an amazon-only paperback version and i got it less, and now there's a paperback version that you should be able to buy anywhere you buy books.
worth noting is that the available print versions are not spiral bound. if you would like a spiral bound copy and you feel strongly enough about this that you'd like to have it printed and bound yourself, the digital versions (most usefully the pdf from gumroad) have an explicit 'please feel free to print or have this printed' release.
and again—because i get called out for this not infrequently—purchase links are collected here, or you can go directly to the amazon listing.
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meditating-dog-lover · 7 months ago
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Exercise
So in the past I followed various eating and exercise plans. Some were unrealistic and too challenging/restrictive, others I loved, and some were doable but I could not see myself doing them longterm because they weren't my favorite approach.
I've done sugar free, keto, low carb, calorie counting, clean eating, etc... Now I do intermittent fasting and eat healthy and allow myself some junk food here and there. I take supplements to fill in any dietary nutritional gaps, which helps a lot with cravings. I don't eat low carb nor low fat and I eat sugar (I'd rather eat the occasional sugary treat than to overeat sugar-free processed junk like I used to in college). Having a chocolate chip cookie or a sweet coffee drink once a week is better than drinking diet Coke and sugar free lattes daily (again like I used to in college). I also don't count calories and just fast, which feels less restrictive and don't have to worry about numbers. I do eat high calorie foods (like nuts, avocados, seeds, dark chocolate) and I still lost weight. Those foods are rich in healthy fats and minerals, so you're better off eating them in decent portions than to exclude them because they're high in calories.
I've been doing IF for 5.5 months and still feel perfectly fine and not restricted. And I've had a really busy work schedule since January, and I don't feel exhausted nor hungry during my fasting period.
To burn additional fat, I do walk a lot. I pace a lot at work, walk my dogs, and go for walks myself. Walking burns more calories than you think, and I really enjoy it as a form of cardio. I've done HIIT, boxing, and running in the past for cardio which I unfortunately did not enjoy.
The only thing that's left is to challenge my strength, posture, and flexibility. I have been doing some yoga to help with this. I've done weight lifting before, which I really didn't love. And I've done bodyweight circuits which I did enjoy, but it was fast-paced, repetitive at times, and did not include comprehensive stretching. I want to be pretty flexible and do fun poses which would be great for stretching my muscles and fixing my posture (my posture is bad and I have stiff muscles here and there, especially my calves). I also like challenging my body strength by doing bodyweight workouts, which yoga does incorporate. I want to improve my upper body strength so I can do pushups (no knees), and even wheel poses. I found a Youtube channel - Yoga with Kassandra. She includes a bunch of yoga workouts with props like blocks and bands to improve flexibility and posture, as well as strength workouts that are yoga-inspired, but quite challenging. I just did a workout which was difficult, but I managed to get through half of it and do some poses and exercises well.
I don't want a yoga routine/video with only simple stretches like downward dog and cobra. I want workouts that will challenge my flexibility and posture, as well as improve my strength and help me get a good sweat. I'm not going to do challenging workouts daily, but I want to do enough to improve my strength(especially upper body).
Again I don't want to overwhelm myself with a lot of health and fitness stuff because I'm just transitioning to and starting a new routine. The IF is new, so is the healthy eating and the supplementing. It took me 6-7 years to find an eating and workout routine that I enjoy, but still promotes overall wellness. I've been walking for over a decade and this is something I'm still doing, which is great. I just want to add in more yoga for strength, flexibility, posture, and the occasional sweat. The strength training/more challenging workouts will help me with insulin sensitivity, and the more relaxing ones will help with stress management. So it all works out on the end, something I can do and enjoy it.
I'm so happy I'm incorporating more and more healthy habits into my life. It hasn't always been easy, but I want to be healthy and happy.
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worldsentwined · 9 months ago
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oooo 1, 7 and 17!!! what fascinating questions!!
Right?? These questions are fascinating but they are also COMING FOR ME SO HARD hahahaha
1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? Here is another one for my therapist lol, I feel like I am in a constant state of picking apart what made me Like This. In a fun turn of events, I now have 3 asks in my inbox and all of you asked this question, so each of you is going to get one third of this answer in your ask. So here's Thing Number One!
First and most Obviously Traumatic is getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 10, which has had a huge impact on how I think and how I manage my life. Pros: this has wired my brain to Stay On Top Of Things* and go to the doctor regularly and create routines that will support my overall health etc etc. I'm very good at managing it, to the point that I don't even realize how much extra work I'm doing until someone points it out, and it also makes me predisposed to handle other things in a similar way. Cons: if any piece of this careful system gets disrupted (lose my job and therefore health insurance, forget to pick up a prescription, insulin pump breaks**, etc) I WILL DIE. Or at least, some of these things could kill me, so that is what my anxiety tells me whenever anything disruptive happens. Additional con, I have SO much anxiety. Apparently this is what happens when your brain has to do the job of your pancreas. *while typing this last night I realized something had gotten Very Fucked Up with my insulin pump supply order, which so derailed me that I had to save this as a draft and come back to it a day later. Which gives a bad impression of the competence I'm describing, but the supplier for my insulin pump supplies is so incompetent that it negates all of my efforts on a regular basis. **my insulin pump breaking and the ensuing anxiety spiral around choosing a new one is the thing that finally got me to find a therapist. Which, thank god I did, but still.
7. what scares you the most and why? I didn't mean for the last question to segue into this when I started answering it, but see above for one of the top contenders. I'm afraid of a lot of things, to the point where I can't often articulate what specifically scares me about a situation, but "catastrophic failure of the medical device keeping me alive" is pretty clear-cut. The fact that I've been through it once and survived it does not seem to help. I do actually have contingency plans in place in the event of something like that happening again (I have to keep a whole separate kind of insulin around that I keep throwing away without using it just in case my pump breaks and I have to go back to injections. Which makes me furious, but that's another post) but it's still terrifying.
17. name 3 things that make you happy Thank god this question is last haha, I need to recover from the first two.
Singing! And music in general, but getting to be Part Of The Music is a nice bonus. It has been really good to have a group of people to sing with on a regular basis, and now that I live by myself I can just wander around the house singing whenever I want.
Going for walks in the park. I was so mad when I accidentally tricked myself into having a regular exercise routine a few years ago (this was also for diabetes anxiety related reasons) but yeah it turns out that going outside for my silly little lunch break walk is good for my mood as well as my blood sugar. Also sometimes I get asked for directions by tourists and it feels nice if I can actually help them.
Weirdly specific one, but people remembering my dietary restrictions (have to eat gluten free in addition to being diabetic) and cooking me food or choosing a restaurant to accommodate them without having to be reminded. Some of my friends (who cook a lot of stir fry and other rice-based stuff) keep a bottle of tamari around specifically so they can use it instead of soy sauce if I'm coming over.
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corpocyborg · 1 year ago
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i'll take a #9, #15, and #30 for valerie!
Thanks for the questions!
Ask game here.
I decided to try something different here, so I'm letting Valerie answer the questions herself this time.
09 favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?
"Ah, food," she said. "Something I can definitely empathize with Goro on—I appreciate high quality food."
"My favorite food is sushi. Goro was extremely wary the first time I invited him over to try a meal from my favorite sushi restaurant. I hadn't ordered from there in long time—too expensive after I lost my Arasaka salary—but I saved up in the hopes that I might impress him and maybe remind him of home. It actually paid off. He admitted there might be some decent food in Night City after all." She shrugged slightly. "I didn't mention it's technically imported."
"But despite my appreciation for good food, there's not much that I'd really be unwilling to eat. I don't have a least favorite food because... well, having a least favorite anything is just kind of a downer. I don't let myself get down about the state of the modern world. Yeah, I may have to eat pepperoni made out of locusts unlike the beef and pork my ancestors had access to, but I have access to technology that can let me dodge bullets. Honestly, it's a worthy trade-off. So, no, I'm not a picky eater. Oh, and I don't have any dietary restrictions either."
15 how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?
“When I was 11, my parents died,” she started. “Collateral damage of some robbery. It was unexpected. We lived in Charter Hill—wealthy neighborhood, pretty safe overall.” 
She paused, taking time to choose her words carefully.
“I lived in a government-run orphanage for a while. Fuckin’ shithole. Not for long, though. I had excellent grades. Had extracurriculars, leadership qualities, all that shit that looks good on a college application. And most importantly, both of my parents had held mid-level positions at Arasaka. I was 13 when they offered me a fast track that would eventually lead to the Academy in Night City. Apparently they keep an eye on the children of former employees, if they’re promising anyway.” 
“Look,” she continued. “My parents were good people. They loved me. But they were always… massively overprotective. Wouldn’t let me get any cyberware before I was 16, even though a lot of studies show you actually adapt better if you get it young. Wouldn’t let me get an after school job, even though there haven’t been child labor laws since before I was born. That kinda thing. A lot of corpos want their kids to follow in their footsteps, but to be honest, I don’t think my parents did.”
“Now, Arasaka Academy was completely different.” She grew excited, and she started speaking faster and more insistently. “They definitely didn’t coddle us there. A lot of our combat training was in virtuos, so we couldn’t actually be damaged, but they didn’t filter out the pain. Need something to motivate you to avoid getting shot at, don’t you? And cyberware? Well, we didn’t get it for free, but you could earn it. That and other kinds of useful prizes if you got first place in some exam or training exercise. Got my first pair of Kiroshi that way. The best part was, once you started earning cyberware, you tended to have an advantage against the students who didn’t have any yet. If you could get the proper momentum, it became easier to keep yourself near the top.”
She’d said all that so quickly that she needed to pause for breath.
“The only problem was sometimes I’d wonder if I should feel guilty. If it was wrong of me to be happier now that my parents were dead. But I was. It didn't take long for me to feel like Arasaka was my real family.”
30 do they smell like anything notable?
"Definitely cigarette smoke, for starters. Must be impossible for the scent not to cling to me with how often I smoke. But besides that, I think I mostly just smell clean. I don't really expect my scent would be particularly notable to most people."
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librarycards · 2 years ago
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ive been in recovery from disordered eating for some years now and would like to start observing kosher more thoroughly, but am concerned about the possibility of restrictions making it harder not to relapse. as a vegan, do you have any advice on maintaining a loving relationship with eating while still finding value in having rules around food?
thank you so much for this question! i think for me it's key to think about food and eating less as a set of discrete "behaviors" toward certain "safe"/"unsafe" foods (as it were) but rather as a holistic part of our lives intimately entangled with not only our social poitionalites but also our values.
for me, a vegan practice doesn't begin or end with food, and what i do or do not eat is not important bc of what certain foods "are", but instead the means by which they got to me, and the conditions under which they are / are not commodified/scraped of their connection to actual living things & systems of oppression. it's honestly hard to live a life with an actual vegan ethical framework while in what might be considered an "active" eating disorder - i know because i am trying to maintain this balance while also Not Getting Better right now. a fixation on the artificial stuff like calories, macros, and "health"-based moral measures is antithetical to an approach that considers the "how" and "why" of food, rather than the what.
i think that this has many parallels and overlaps with kashrut, which doesn't exist in a food-related vacuum, but instead among a constellation of halachic practices that help you feel more connected to gd, to your community/tradition, and more, and will help you materially live a life that will aid you in a more collective practice of tikkun olam. this isn't a set of restrictions designed to make you "perfect," after all. it isn't designed to remove you from community with others in favor of self-fixation. instead, it's a nonnormative way of thinking with what we eat, and imbuing food with a newfound connection to our broader practices of healing and liberation!
now, this is well and good, but what about practical matters? when on-the-ground shopping or ordering, it can be really helpful to go to aisles, spaces where everything fits a given guideline by default - that way, it's easy to catch yourself straying from checking to see if it's vegan/kosher and checking to see if it's "safe." same with spending time with loved ones who already make and incorporate these foods; there are tons of opportunities to eat spontaneously in ways that your brain might try to stop you from doing. i think particularly in the case of keeping kosher, if you pray, it's really important and nice to keep an open connection w/ gd in regard to the relationship between kashrut, harm, and healing. this is what i do each time a big fast day comes around, and inevitably come to the conclusion that the picuach nefesh mandate outweighs any excuse i can make for why i "should" fast. you will likely notice this if you find yourself using keeping kosher more as an excuse for restriction rather than a meaningful practice of connection.
what's important to remember is that so-called "dietary restrictions" are only restrictions due to an inaccess to alternatives, whether via inaccess to community/support or physical inaccess to the food you need. all communities that work, work based on shared rules/values/care practices -- so surround yourself with people for whom kosher is an act of care, not punishment. i think this is really the key: i don't view being vegan as a punishment, but an opportunity. for my comrades who also enjoy vegan food, it's also an opportunity to eat lots of food - including food that has challenged me in ed- ways. even though i am by no means a model recovering/recovered person (faaar from it) i find so much value and joy and liberation in the unrestrained, generous, and delicious meals we get to enjoy, whose excellence is only amplified by a grounding in intentionality and hope.
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gon-and-killuas-mother · 2 years ago
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i can't find the read more button on mobile so heads up, i'm rambling about sad personal things
i don't know why i keep getting surprised when Graham talks about the girl he's interested in. like. he very clearly told me he doesn't feel the same way for me as i do for him, and i've tried to accept that
except. a small part of me refuses. every time i remember his "I don't feel the same way" that part screams "YES YOU DO"
i think, in my defense, there have been some mixed messages. i highly doubt he did so intentionally, but it's been months of spending 75% of my time with him, and him showing genuine interest in whatever i was talking about, and giving me gifts bc that's how shows affection (it just happened to be my primary love language) and him always making sure i was fed regardless of my dietary restrictions, so of course i fell for him. how could i not??
the mixed messages though came after the gentle rejection, when he wanted to play Monster Prom, a multiplayer DATING SIM, on VALENTINE'S DAY. where we read the lines to each other, many of which were sappy.
so i don't think i can be faulted for letting a little hope back in, even though i tried to keep it down and contained.
still sucks to be hanging out with him and then asked to leave bc he has plans to watch a show over discord with the Other Girl, we'll call her Catie
i'd had the small and dangerous thought that Catie wouldn't be romantically interested in him. they've been friends for ten years, and she hadn't shown any interest before. but he believes he might have a chance now that she's single again and has moved back in town.
even before this whole Feelings for Boy started, and before i realized he was into Catie, she'd always made me a little uncomfortable. i had no reason to dislike her! and many people i trust have said she's an amazing person. but something about her unsettled me and idk if i can figure that one out
except for when she was kinda hitting on me??? in front of Graham??? like touching me and pressing up against me and whatnot. and Graham apparently didn't think anything of it, so maybe she's just like that. i am as opposite of physically affectionate as possible so that probably made a weird situation even weirder.
i'm rambling now. but i'm really frustrated that i will likely have to deal with the emotional sucker punches whenever he talks about Catie. idk if i can. i broke down last night after getting booted for her, how am i gonna handle it if they actually start dating??
how much of this can i tell him? if i have to take time and space away from him just to be able to move on, can i at least tell him how much he means to me? how cared for he made me feel?
i'm also just. frustrated bc i know he's one-of-a-kind. there's other guys in the world that could love me, yes, but what's the likelihood i'm gonna find another sweetheart who cooks for me and gives me gifts and shares hyperfixations with me???
sigh
i'll move on, eventually. it's not gonna hurt as bad one day. i'm just. tired of being the runner-up i guess
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