#Don't decide to suffer just because you're feeling pleasure

[chainmail-butch]

One time I ate probably way too many mushrooms and I could feel my trip going bad. So, I turned to my roommate and I said something along the lines of,

"I feel amazing but I feel like this sensation has a price and I'm about to pay it."

To which he responded, "What are you, catholic?" And that knocked me so firmly out of my mental state that the rest of the trip was hands down the best time I ever did mushrooms.

[moremaybank]

KISS IT BETTER , jj maybank

── KINKTOBER: PERIOD SEX

"kiss it better, baby." ─ rihanna, kiss it better.

jj maybank x gf!reader

(18+) unprotected sex, period sex, use of a vibrator, praise, extra sweet!jj

your period is ruining your day and jj makes it all better (like only he can)

KINKTOBER , OBX MASTERLIST

the very second jj pushed inside you, you instantly felt at ease. like all your problems and discomfort were melting away solely because he was flooding your senses. you both shuddered when he buried himself all the way. jj's eyes flickered to yours, and he licked his lips.

"love how easy it is to slip inside your pussy when you're like this, baby."

jj had never been shy about period sex. in fact, he made it a point to show you that he craved it. the way your body grew even more responsive. the way the sensitivity of your most knee-weakening spots multiplied. he'd kiss you and you'd mewl for him. pawing at him every few mintues when you needed his attention. needed his lips on your skin and his hands in frisky places.

and also, he had no clue why, but something about it was just so...intimate. and it was crazy becase everyone on the island knew that jj was not the type to use the word intimate.

come on, now.

you were special. you had to be with the way he treated you and eased all your pain like it was second nature to him. he always told you, i got that magic touch, pretty girl. and now, you really, really believed him.

"'n your body's so much more tender, right, baby? almost came when i was licking those pretty nipples, huh?"

jj's hips continued to rock into you with a soothing motion. every inch of him rubbed at your walls, massaging and wringing out every last bit of agony before replacing it with sheer and utter pleasure. your cunt squelched even louder than normal onto the towel laid out beneath you due to the obviously different circumstances, but god, your body was on fire with delight.

even so, you couldn't help the doubts from creeping in. typical hormones.

"j," you whined, though you clawed at his thick shoulders. "s'makin a mess."

jj simply shook his head at you, leaning downward on his forearms. they caged you in while his forehead kissed yours. his eyes never left yours as he spoke. "don't sweat it, mama. focus on me, 'kay? feel that cock slidin' in 'n out..." he smirked with pride when you cried out for him. "yeah...how's that? you feelin' good, my queen?"

"s-so good," you assured him. your lips brushed against his, before you pulled back to look at him with every ounce of desperation you had. "need you, j. need you so bad."

"don't worry, baby. i got you, yeah? gonna make it all better for you. promise."

for a moment, jj's hips came to a halt, and you were left whining in protest. your legs wrapped around his waist securely, just in case he decided to up and abandon you. lucky for you, though, all he did was reach into your night table and grab your vibrator. he switched it on with ease like he'd done many times before, and drew it down the middle of your torso. you sighed as it buzzed down the valley of your breasts, the length of your stomach, and then all the way to rest on your clit. you hissed at the sensation, the sound growing louder as jj started to move inside of you again. he kept himself propped up with his other arm, staring down at you with near heart eyes.

"goddamn, my girl's pretty when she's gettin' fucked."

"fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck. i'm gonna cum, j. shit," you rambled, feeling your high creep in you faster than expected with the added sensation. your tits rose and fell heavily as you panted, tempting jj to go temporarily insane.

"go for it, baby. soak my fuckin' cock." you nodded at his encouragement, limbs clinging to him like a koala while he fucked your cunt. all of your hormonal aches and pains were long forgotten as he talked you through it, showering you with love in typical jj fashion. "s'not fair. love you so much, mama...hate watchin' you suffer. y'deserve to feel good all the time. lemme help you."

[amysubmits]

Owning Me Is Complicated

Occasionally I come across content that makes it seem like being a Dom is easy.

Order her around, make her do the things you don't want to do, do whatever you want, "win" all the disagreements because you're the dom - or even silence her from disagreeing with you to begin with. Get sex exactly how you want it, exactly when you want it. She's just a living, breathing object that can and will do whatever you want. She has no needs other than to make your life easier. She's your own personal robot, but with a body you want to fuck. Being a dom is like a regular relationship but without the emotional labor. I'm sure there are other gender versions out there too, but I see the M/f version most often. It's so funny to me how absurd that all is compared to real life.

Owning me is complicated. Owning me means doing way more emotional labor than a vanilla relationship would require, not less.

Yes, I do what he says - but he's responsible for making the best decisions he can. He's in charge, so keeping me physically and emotionally safe is his responsibility. It's a huge part of how he earns my submission. It's no small thing to make decisions when making them well is part of how he keeps me safe and keeps me open and trusting towards him. Yes, I'll try to push my sexual limits for him - but I have complex emotional needs that accompany physical intimacy. Use my body without having respect for my physical and mental health and it'll fall apart real quick. And once again, making a reckless decision here that would leave me damaged and could forever damage our dynamic. Sure, he can take his cock out anytime and instruct me to suck and I will, but that doesn't mean it's all fun and games. He has the burden of double and triple checking that he isn't pushing me too far, or taking too much as to leave me empty. Yes, he gets the final say in disagreements, but he earns that by hearing me out. He couldn't keep me submissive if he didn't respect my feelings. I can't feel respected if I'm not heard. So he has to hear me out and really listen. And then his job is to attempt to get the best outcome for both of us. He has to try to balance our needs, because if either of us gets neglected, we individually suffer and then the relationship suffers. So he sometimes deals with the weight of threading the needle between his needs and mine, his wants and mine. His shoulders carry the weight of those choices. Yes, he can deny my wishes - and even my needs for a time, if he chose. But I am human. How long can he deny me things that bring me pleasure before I start to feel unwanted, unloved, disrespected, thrown out? Resentment would set in eventually. Self-protection would kick in eventually...and it might be too late by then, the damage may be done by the time I would wake up to look around and decide I didn't want to live like this anymore. Why would he want to even find out, given that he loves me? He wouldn't. He has a sadistic streak, so he likes to deny me things I like so that I long for them even more for a while. He likes to see me eager, desperate to get it when he decides to give it. He likes to watch me tolerate discomfort for him. Playing with these ideas require a deep understanding of my needs and limits. He has to know where "desperate for you 🥺 " starts to fade and "That goblin in the back of my head is starting to worry I'm not valued" starts to enter my thoughts. Yes, I look to him to guide and lead, and he has a lot of power and control - but that comes with the ability to destroy and damage. There's nothing easy about ownership if you feel the weight of the responsibility you're carrying.

[ivysangel]

expanding on this post except it's where dick, roy, jason, and wally fall in the frat ranking and why (this is just for fun, don't take it too seriously)

DICK

is ranked number one every year until he graduates (duh) because he's a borderline nympho and can't go a single night without getting his dick wet

pledges aspire to be him but he's seriously contemplated attending a sex addicts anonymous meeting because he skipped half his classes last semester to fuck girls on greek row and his grades suffered

has a collection of underwear he steals from girls to keep as trophies and had to change the spot where he keeps them because one of his frat brothers found them and went around the house telling everyone that dick wore women's panties

fucked that guys ex to spite him and got away with it because he's super hot and also the frat president (defintely a legacy pledge too)

has told girls "i love you" and "you're the only one for me" to get in their pants and has either ghosted or messaged them "it's not you, it's me" immediately after leaving their dorm

there are multiple hate posts about him in the gotham university subreddit and all of the upvotes are from girls he’s fucked

ROY

ranked in the lower half of the top 10 but is on a mission to break top 5

gets a lot of play just from being hot but also keeps a list of girls dick rejects so he can be the first to console them and subsequently get in their pants, has "i can make you feel better"ed his way into many hook ups

has a thing for girls with dark hair who play hard to get and has unironically sent to the frat group chat "i need a goth bitch in my life"

scared away multiple girls by wanting to fuck them in the ass and always follows it up with "aw come on??? it was a joke!" even though it's not a joke

came too fast once as a freshman and got nicknamed speedy

is still bitter about it and sometimes sends to the gc "lasted 2 hours, who's speedy now?" and everyone's like "still you."

JASON

isn't ranked at all and not because he doesn't get any play, just because he doesn't kiss and tell

fully thinks the ranking is corny but also takes pride in knowing that if his bodycount was made public he wouldn't be at the absolute bottom

hasn't slept with that many girls but has had so many blowjobs that he's sometimes wondered if his dick will start pruning like wet fingers

felt dumb wondering that so he doubled up on his bio classes the next semester and then hooked up with his ta because she was hot and smart

is like the only guy in the frat that cares about safe sex and has had to let his brothers know on multiple occasions that their junk isn't supposed to be red or itchy, and has had the pleasure of accompanying more than a few of them on trips to the std clinic

never tells anyone that he's dick's adoptive brother, so every time they go home together over break and he decides to text a girl, she always responds with, "you're not gay?"

WALLY

would be ranked low because he's a loser and has zero game/cannot function normally around hot girls and will make a fool of himself 97% of the time but his oral skills cancel it out so he's somewhere in the middle

is one of the first places girls go after breaking up with their shitty bf's because he's sweet and will go down on them for hours without expecting anything in return

once had a conversation with jason where he reffered to his girls as clients and jason said he "made it sound like prostitution"

once had a conversation with jason where he said his jaw was getting tired and he was thinking about charging for his “service” and jason said, "that would be actual prostitution"

has cum too quick on multiple occasions but didn't get a nickname because nobody was surprised

once hooked up with another ginger, and roy had to sit him down to tell him that it was fundamentally wrong and that he was never allowed to do it again or else he'd be kicked out of the frat

[strwberri-milk]

hihiii, hope you've been staying hydrated!!!

i have had brainworms about touch-starved genshin men being extra sensitive in every way possible when it comes to being close/intimate with the reader - cuddling, casual affection, sex, etc. etc. obviously write what you're feeling, but i was thinking about diluc, dainsleif, kaeya, and alhaitham!!

Diluc doesn't realise how badly he needs your attention until he's suddenly deprived of it when leaving for a business trip. Upon his return to you he refuses to let go of you. You end up walking around with his arm around your waist or his chin resting on your shoulder.

He doesn't seem to be able to get enough of you, spending the day holding you and the night making you forget everything but his name. He kisses you with a vengeance, hands running all over your body and squeezing you tightly, not leaving an inch of your body untouched.

He'll be a little embarrassed about it when his brain is less fuzzy with need for you, refusing to admit that he missed you as much as he did. It's really a moot point though considering the fact that he's still holding your hand, not wanting to let go of you.

Dainsleif isn't super into physical affection - his preferred method to show you affection is through acts of service. However, sometimes he does look at you and just decide that he needs to squeeze the shit out of you but like, in a loving way.

You squeak a little when he comes up behind you to wrap his arms around you, holding you close. You give him a confused look when you feel his grip tighten around you a little. He's worried he's already hurt you, backing offYwhen you pull his arms back around you.

You don't mind that he's staying attached to you. It's a little awkward with how big he is and how he's hanging off of you but you decide not to question it. He's not normally this affectionate with you but you really like it, not wanting to drive too much attention to it in case he gets too in his head about it.

Kaeya also suffers from cute aggression and when he looks at you it's terminal. You know he wants to hold you when he stares intensely at you, not saying anything but his hands almost twitch a little. He wants you to come closer but he doesn't know how to ask, staring at you longingly until you sit yourself down on his lap.

His arms wrap around you, sighing happily as he cuddles you up, You let him lightly pinch and tease you, letting him work out some of his feelings towards you through other physical means. That ends up with you underneath him, Kaeya deciding not to tease you too much right now in favour of drawing as much pleasure out of you as he can.

His stamina is normally pretty good but now it seems endless. He's holding you tightly, wrists pinned above your head as he has his way with you. His voice threads itself into your ear, cooing sweetly as he praises you for taking him so well. He's pretty happy with himself when it seems that he's melted your brain a little, peppering your forehead in kisses so sweetly it's like he never fucked your brains out.

Al Haitham's neediness manifests very subtly. You can barely tell that he's craving you until you feel his sigh on your shoulder as he pulls you into his chest. He puts his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling against you a little as he leans against the counter while he holds you.

He remains fairly quiet, not really responding to anything you say to him because all he can think about is how much he missed you and how badly he needs to feel you pressed up against him. He turns his head to press some kisses against your cheek, telling you quietly that he missed you after a while.

You end up directing him to the couch so he can hold you in a more comfortable manner. You manage to convince him to put his head in your lap, running your fingers through his hair and talking at him about nothing. The noise allows him to relax, closing his eyes as he takes all of you in, subtly nuzzling against you as his brain goes quiet for once.

[tinandabin]

SAGAU but the the reader is the ACTUAL creator

Thorny love: part 5

Previous part: part 4

a/n: am I back from the dead? I dunno, but yesterday night I felt like writing and wrote another part. so, I decided to publish it here also!

________

"Yo-Your Grace... You are finally here.." Ei spoke, her eyes wide and her legs shaking a bit. It almost looked like she was gonna cry. However, her face hardened up as soon as more people started gathering around you and her. Perhaps, you were the only one to catch a glimpse of her expression. She is an Archon, she too has a reputation to uphold in Inazuma, after all. "Hello, Ei. How have you been?" You smiled at her, hand going up to ruffle her hair. Revelyn still hadn't let go of your robe, her hold on it tightened a bit.

Ei's breath hitched as soon as your hand messed with her hair. "I'm..." She tried to find the right words to express her feelings, but she couldn't. How can she explain that she felt as if a part of her had been torn from her when you left her? It felt as if...she had been plunged into never-ending despair and loneliness. She missed you, very dearly. The place where her heart should have been, felt strangely empty without your embrace, your smile, your eyes, you.

Your hand retreated soon enough, "You don't have to answer, Ei." You gently told her, sensing her inner turmoil. It hurt you to leave your creations suffering and in agony, it truly did so. But some actions are sadly enough, necessary.

Ei smiled and nodded, hand coming to hold yours when she saw another hand grasping your robe. Immediately, she looked at the culprit only to see the face of the impostor. How dare she even show her face here after all she did? The thought made her scoff. She not only deceived the Archons but even you. The nerve of some people.. And now she acts all angelic and needy when you show up? But of course, Ei won't say anything. Not in front of you. 

"And who might be the coward behind you, Your Grace?" Ei gestured towards Revelyn behind you. You smiled beamingly, gently prying Revelyn from behind you. "Oh, come now, Ei, you don't remember her?" You asked her innocently, quickly realizing the jab she was throwing towards Revelyn, but brushing it off. You don't wish for an argument to start over here, of all places. 

Ei stared at Revelyn for a moment, taking your hint to not taunt her. "I do, Your Grace. How could I not?" 

"I'm glad to know so, " You put your hands on Revelyn's shoulder, your touch sending an electrifying shock of pleasure through her body. "Everyone misunderstood Revelyn. She's a very sweet and angelic girl. I'm sure she will fit right back in, hm?" 

Revelyn stood awkwardly, clearly wanting to be anywhere but here. She decided to keep up her act of cowardice until you left. "Um.. Hi," Her meek voice spoke up, a slight tremble to it. She batted her eyelashes at Ei, smiling softly. "I'm Revelyn.. Revelyn Aniela. " 

The surname struck some nostalgic feeling inside you. You had a brief feeling that perhaps you had heard this somewhere before, that perhaps someone dear to you held the same surname. Someone close to your heart, your mind, your soul- but who? Who was that? You can't recall. Aniela. Aniela. Aniela. So familiar, yet so distinct. Maybe it was simply the name of a friend long gone, you would love to give yourself this benefit of doubt, but you're not the kind of person to do that. You're the Creator for fuck's sake, if you're remembering something, then that must be because it's important! It was of significance, you wouldn't just remember a random surname, right? Right...?

You shook your head, deciding you're indeed giving yourself the benefit of the doubt because you're too old to deal with this detective stuff. Frankly enough, if you think about it more, you'll probably just get a headache. Best to leave it be, now. You'll just ask Seraphina to play detective, like always. You cleared your throat. "So, what are we waiting for? Shall we go?" 

Ei nodded right away, grabbing your hand and Intertwining your fingers. "As you wish, Your Grace. " 

Revelyn was left behind to catch up. 

__________

A few days passed in Inazuma without much commotion. You spent most of the time with Ei, Revelyn of course stuck around so long as you were there. Personally, you were tired of both of them. They need to stop clinging to you like you're their mother. Ei, you understood why she clinged to you, considering she didn't see you for months on end, but Revelyn, who lived with you for like... the past month, it wasn't very understandable. Lile be for real, Revelyn. You not tired yet? Like. Girl. Stop embarrassing yourself and get some self respect and go where you're actually wanted. 

So, for both your sanity and their's (Lie), you decided to leave both of them together to socialize and become the best of best friends. (Lie. You just wanted time to yourself and wanted to meet Yae Miko.) Of course, you were, for the first time, surprised to see both Ei and Revelyn unite together. Merely for the purpose of notetting you leave but hey, progress! They atleast united for a common goal, no matter how troublesome that may be for you. 

Their combined forces weren't enough to deter you, in the end, you won and they were forced to talk to each other or sulk together, or maybe, a rare possibility, but have a heated make-out session. Who knows. Whatever works, works. They're on their own now and you're on your own, to meet Yae Miko and have a heated make-out session with her perhaps. It won't happen, maybe, but the thought is entertaining though. You're like, 93% certain Miko would agree if you asked. It's not like she hasn't suggested that before. Ah, enough thoughts. You're here. 

"Good grace, it's such a heavy task to climb these hills to just be graced by your presence, Miko, " You let out a whine, leaning against one of thr shrine. "You should know my old bones can't hold for long-" A book was placed against your lips and a fluffy, really fluffy and soft, tail caressed your thigh sneakily. "My my, Your Divinity, you ought to know, I don't fancy you saying those words. You look very beautiful, and ravishing, might I add. " Yae Miko said, leaning in close to you with a smirk on her face. 

You placed a hand on her wrist, gently removing the book. "I'm happy you think so, but might I say, you look even more delightful, " You replied back with a grin. This flirty playful banter was always your favorite thing to do in Inazuma, apart from watching Revelyn and Ei be at their throats, of course. "Oh please, Your Divinity, you flatter me. But we both know, you're the most beautiful-" You placed a finger on her lips. "Ahhh, shhh. Nothing more to speak of this topic. You can't argue with me on this, you're, of course, the most stunning woman in Inazuma, " 

Miko let out an offended gasp, "Inazuma only? Is that my beauty's worth to you, Your Divinity? I'm offended, " She pouted, clearly putting up an act just for you. 

"No no, my dear. I meant in whole Teyvat. It would be a crime for me to think your beauty isn't other worldly, " 

And this playful banter continued on. 

_________

On the other side, Revelyn and Ei were indeed having a heated make-out session. Not the kind you're thinking of. 

"Oh, so as soon as my graceful creator leaves, you suddenly drop the act of cowardice?" Ei stared at Revelyn, a cold and unrelenting aura around her. 

"Your creator...? Psssh," Revelyn let out a mocking laugh, "Please. Your words are blatantly false!" She glared at Ei, her fists clenching at her sides. 

"Shut up, you witch, you casted a spell of sorts on my graceful creator, didn't you? That's why she is completely and utterly fooled by you!" 

"Oh? I'll cast a spell on you too and turn you into a monkey if you don't shut up!"

You walked in with a smile. "Guys. I just had a make-out session with Miko-"

________

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a/n: hi! if yr name is cut, then that means I couldn't tag you. if in the next part I won't be able to tag you, then your name will be removed from the taglist. please ask me to tag you again in the LATEST part to be readded to the taglist! thank you (❁´◡`❁)

Masterlist

[writing-zelda-brainrots]

Have some more apothecary![Name] because I have Apothecary Diaries brainrot. Season 2 hype! I swear to fucking god, at some point I'm going to turn this into an actual fic. Please, someone shoot me, I just don't know how to stop.

I imagine that similar to in the Apothecary Diaries, [Name] has lived in the red light district their whole life and was working as an apothecary there. Until they got kidnapped and sold off to the rear palace as a simple servant. They were planning on just working there until their contract expired, but then the universe decided that they haven't suffered enough. Through some shenanigans, they end up being promoted from glorified laundry maid to the lady in waiting for one of the Emperor's concubines.

And that's when the Chain fell into their life. Literally.

During a trip home on one of your rare days off, a girl from one of the pleasure district's brothels comes running to you in a panic, saying something about a group of strange men that need medical attention.

And things kinda spiral from then. You cure one of them from poison (you think his name was Wars? Strange name, really. But, still, none of your business), hand them some medicine and are about to head out until you get roped into solving the 'mystery' behind this little incident. The universe just loves telling you to play detective.

And when you led them out of town and see them off, you somehow end up getting pulled into one of these 'portals' that they kept talking about when they thought you couldn't hear.

The Chain is kind of more trusting of you in the beginning, you did save Wars from almost dying after all, but your stand-offish personality and obsession with drugs is a little worrying. Still, you do your work, don't complain, don't cause fights and lend a hand when needed. And your medicines do wonders when potions run out and Hyrule's low on magic. You're passive in a way.

"I'm a simple servant, lowly of birth." You say when questioned. "I know where I stand."

Bruh you're going to give them trauma flashbacks every time you put something in your mouth. Especially if you're the only human and they have no idea what things are poisonous to you vs them. They always have some emetic agent on them in case you decide to indulge in your 'hobby.'

I could really twist the knife with how the romance would go in this. The Chain knows that you're not the most extroverted person, but they wish that you didn't scoot away from them when they want to get closer to you. Maybe it's because you've grown up in an environment where the lines between 'love' and 'lust' are more than a little blurred - both celebrated and made irrelevant, both idolised and abused at the same time - where the lives of lower class people are tossed aside without a thought, the way your family life hasn't exactly been the most 'normal'... Maybe that's why you're so adverse to romance, why you insist that 'love' is an emotion that you are incapable of feeling.

In a way, they want to save you. Not from Ganon or monsters with sharp teeth (though they will save you from those, too, of course), but from this shadow looming over you.

[darkest-depravity]

Two Forms of Desperation

I'd love to keep you in a chastity cage for weeks, and tease you every single day. You're a kept woman, of course, but that doesn't mean the teasing needs to stop when I go to work. I'll leave you with a remote vibe inside your cage and a plug in your ass and steadily edge you all day, every day. You'd better not fucking fall behind on your housework because of this. But you're such a good girl, and I know that you fear me even more than you want me, so you don't.

I'll watch you deteriorate as a human being. Watch you debase yourself, so frantically desperate for any kind of release. Watch you devolve into wrenching sobs as you cling to my feet, not daring to glance up at me for fear of meeting my cold eyes, indifferent to your suffering.

Then, one day, you're doing dishes. Your whole face feels puffy and tight from crying, but still, the tears flow down your cheeks as the pain in your cage remains unbearable. You look so broken. That's when I decide to take you. I grab a fistful of your hair and drag you to the living room, throwing your body to the ground and your face into the carpet. You feel an overwhelming surge of relief as I unlock the cage, and all you can do is whimper, "Thank you, Goddess" over and over in a frail, choked little voice. I don't start slow. I fuck you harder than I've ever fucked you before. I keep the vibe on you and turn up the intensity to its maximum. The effect is instantaneous. The most incredible orgasm you've ever experienced in your worthless little life and fresh tears of joy stream down your face as you're completely overcome with pleasure the likes of which you never could have even imagined.

But then I don't stop. I slow down and lower the vibration just enough for your body to recover between orgasms, then ramp it up to maximum again. Over and over, shuddering tidal waves of pleasure burst through your entire being. Your body convulses and you feel like every single one of your muscles is spasming out of control. It's too much. It's too much. Soon, each wave begins to decline in pleasure and the sensation shifts to pain. It hurts now. Every thrust sends a stabbing pain through your body, and every orgasm depletes you more and more of energy you didn't even think you had left. You beg me to stop. I ignore you. You scream and wail and cry and beg and feel as though your body is being torn apart. All of your senses seem to blacken and some instinct drives you to get away, to please make it stop, but I'm just so much stronger than you and I've already left you so weak. I hold you down and push your face into the floor, then fuck you even harder. Somewhere in the only minute rational corner of your mind you have left, you wonder how I could possibly be fucking you harder than I was before.

This goes on for what feels like hours. What began as heaven has twisted into hell. Eventually, your screaming ceases and you become silent, accepting the piercing pain that rips through your body with each thrust. This is what penetration feels like. You forget who you are. You become an unthinking husk.

Finally, I stop.

I collapse on the floor next to you, pulling your small, violently trembling body into mine, and kiss your neck so softly. I stroke your nipples and caress every inch of your round softness so gently. I tell you over and over how perfect you are, how wonderfully you did, and how much I love you. I know you're not strong enough to stand, so I lift you up in a bridal carry and take you to the bed. I make you drink water and I cook you your favorite meal. We watch one of your comfort movies as you melt into my arms and freshly sob. I coo reassurances and stroke your hair, and you cling to me so tight that your knuckles turn pale. Finally, mercifully, the emotion slowly subsides and you drift off into the heaviest and most restful sleep you've ever had.

When you wake up the next morning, you find two things: a plate of breakfast and a hot cup of coffee on the nightstand made just how you like it, and the chastity belt locked around your waist.

[macsimagines]

what about alpha!kisaki, like do you think his yandere tendencies would be worse if he was an alpha? you’re very consistent btw, I love your blog 🥹🫶

(Finally Alpha!Kisaki <3!!! Thanks for the request and compliment this will be one of the last ABO requests I do so I'll try to make it good. Also I feel like an ass because I went overboard on this one... oops can you guys tell I have a favorite)

Yandere!Alpha Kisaki

Met you through a Rut Aid service. Sort of...

Kisaki was taken aback when he presented as an alpha. He was pleasantly surprised and was at first excited to be apart of an elite. Then his ruts hit and apparently they're out of control.

After a few doctor visits he's diagnosed with over producing dominate pheromones. Its apparently common when a young Alpha is surrounded by other very strong and dominate Alphas.

Because he is so much younger than most of the gang members and finds himself in a leadership position his body is trying to overcompensate.

When his ruts hit is when domineering pheromones' overproduce and cause him to have hyper aggression and feral behavior. His room was in complete shambles and he actually tried to fight his own parents.

Its decided he will be going on intense suppressants and will be having his ruts at a private facility where he will be supplied with artificial omegan pheromones that should calm him down.

They don't. Nothing fucking works for years and years. He's an adult now, and not one thing has helped. He just eats suppresants like they're candy and prays to god he can keep it together.

Nobody else notices his issues though. He keeps it under wraps and when he needs to rut, he usually has his lackeys prepare him a special room.

He's almost killed omegas that volunteer to help him through, he hopes one will actually work but they all smell like shit and his Alpha just wants to rip them to shreds when they get too close.

Then comes a new service that provides alpha's with fresh real omegan scents for their rut. If he likes one then he send his own scented item in. If you're a match you two will begin an anonymous pen pal service.

The idea appealed to him, because he was a very dangerous and private man. He needed his anonymity. It was worth a shot at the very least...

They send him a box of samples filled with items like plushies or sweaters (some freaks send their underwear wtf-)

Kisaki has gone through at least 4 boxes and he's about to give up when he stumbles upon a hoodie. Your hoodie. With some inane cartoon or video game (insert favorite cringe character here)

He throws your bag across the room hard as he can because he's so annoyed and it snags on the edge of the table and rips. Then he smells it.

The most perfect soothing calming thing he's ever had the pleasure of smelling in his life. And its your hoodie. He buries his face in it, drinks it in like its water and he's been dying of thirst.

Oh yes, thank fuck, dear god. You're perfect.

If he had a little more restraint he'd be embarrassed at how fast he comes that night. He's not even in rut but he's fucking his own hand like he's 12 again...

Calls the service the next day and tells them he's incredibly interested in your items and wants them all. Exclusively. He also asks (demands) for your personal profile.

They tell him "Thats not how this works sir." and he almost burns their headquarters to the ground, but decides against it. He has to be smart and safe about this. He can't loose his omega.

Plays along with the service, has his best cashmere sweaters and silk shirts sent out to you.

Its a match! Of course it is. You're all but mated to him at this point, and its decided then that for your heats and his ruts you'll be exchanging scented items.

While that happens he has his men infiltrate the company and find you. Finally gets his hands on your information and wants to puke.

There's nothing wrong with you, its just the circumstances.

You suffer from a pheromone diversion disorder and a pheromone deficiency. Your body has a hypersensitivity to alpha pheromones causing you reject the majority of them and your body produces a miniscule amount of omegan pheromones because of being unable to handle others.

Its like you were made for him. His perfect match...

You're younger, and poor. At least by his standards. He can't stand the fact that you send him your cheap shirts and sweaters. Not because he finds it to be pathetic, but because he knows you deserve better. You need what Kisaki, your alpha, can provide.

Lets you go through one heat with his scented items and gets a letter from you explaining how thankful you are.

"You were the only alpha to like my scent, funny right? Saved my butt though, your smell was the only one I liked too."

Kisaki decides that's it. He's gonna make you his Omega soon. He's got an imported collection of hand crafted luxury collars on the way, you'll pick one out when you're ready he just wants to have them prepared and he plans a meet cute.

He had his men tracking you for weeks, since the first time he found out your name and address. Knows you like to just listen to music and walk in the park. You'll bump into each other, smell one another on accident, and fall in love.

The guy is so dedicated to this that he even wears casual clothes, (Vicuna Wool isn't casual you pompous shit), and when it happens he loses himself for a moment.

Your shoulders brush, your eyes meet, and for once in fucking years, he feels at peace. He doesn't even say what he was planning on saying and you take the lead (that wasn't supposed to happen shit-)

"Uh, heya stranger," you smile at him cocking your head, "Smell'ya around?"

This was easy, you two hit it off. You make it easy... Your personality is incredibly calm compared to his own highstrung one. The only problem is that he doesn't want to wait. He needs you now.

Fate is finally on his side, and you ask about the item exchange. He says "What if we just...Shared our heats and ruts together.

He has you convinced it's a good idea. When else will you meet an Alpha whos smell you actually love?

The key to his plan. You're going to bond Kisaki. He's going to get you so high on his over production of pheromones that you're going to go feral and bite him right on his mating mark.

You'll wake up after your heat and feel like a total monster, while he's on cloud nine. That was the best week of his life, his knot felt so at home snuggly inside you...

Kisaki will comfort you. Tell you its not your fault, that he should've done something... Don't worry baby, he knows you'll take responsibility.

[fushiguroshotwife]

HAUNTED HOUSE

TW: unprotected sex, deep throats, blowjobs, gagging, a little age gap between reader and Toji, RAPE-PLAY kink!.. Ve's note !: This needs more warnings but idk 😭— Honestly I don't like how I made the theme of this i kinda think it doesn't look good but I finally made smut so idc hehe, Again, even if you're not a minor; if you're not comfortable with Rape-Play DNI. But both partners have given consent!.. What happens?: Toji gives in to acting for your kink after you begged him for your little fantasy of Rape-Play in a haunted house 🏚️ ... [Luv] WC : 1,002 words! This is for @fuyuswifey 's 31daysofhalloween collab 🏚️

MDNI 18+ CONTENT HAPPY EARLY SPOOKY SEASON 🎃

It was late at nighttime when you and your female friends visited a haunted house, and the only reason you went there was simply because you had gotten extremely bored.

While your so-called buddies went to the locations where the workers, also known as the folks costumed to perform jump scares, were, you headed to the darker, more deserted areas of the old house.

The moments were slipping away like wind because you were overwhelmed with boredom.You decided to pay a visit the nearby cornfield maze because it was just a short trip away.

As you approach the maze's entrance to see how things are going, you notice that no one is present. Instead, everyone has entered the haunted home to see if they would experience any fright.

You didn't mind it all that much because there was no one to annoy you in the maze—there were no crying infants or crying little children, nothing at all.. just nothing..

As if you were in a scary movie, the night grew progressively darker until it seemed as though you could not see anything else. However, you could see things, but darker than usual.

Then a dark tall man wearing a black mask and black lose shirt and cargo pants with quite the strong figure walked up to you intimidatingly, you panicked and thought nothing of it and hoped it's just another man going to the maze, but oh.. how you're mistaken..

Next, the man crept up a little bit. He grabbed you by the neck, held you motionless, and slammed you onto the hard, cold ground.Panic increased as you panted from the unexpected movement.

When you felt his hot breath on your neck, you froze and shivered. You said, "Sir, p..please don't hurt.. me," in a low toned voice.

"Are you trying to command me, little girl?" he snorts. He cluckles like a psychopath, and you plead, "no.. b..but.."

Before you could complete, the masked man sits on the ground at your height because you are unable to stand up at all.

His eyes widened as he ripped off your crop top, revealing nothing but your bare breasts within. As you pant in anxiety, he nibbled on your nipples.

As he spoke while groping you, you pant helplessly."What's up, kid? Not being able to speak? going to cry now? "Poor thing," he spat and laughed maniacally.

You only manage to contain your tears as you wriggle in his arms and feel his hands touching your exposed breasts.

You start to sweat profusely from the tension, and you let out a quiet, low moan. His eyes widened again, and he pulled off his undergarments and trousers, saying, "Take it all, kiddo." He cluckles like a lunatic and thrusts his large hairy, veiny dick into your mouth. As you spit it out, he moves it back and further in. "Take it all, or I'll make you suffer pain if you don't." He spat laughing .. Over and over, it makes you gag.

You repeatedly sucked his dick clean up until.. "Take everything in your mouth, and perhaps I'll reward you for being such a good little girl." He laughed like though a psychopath in the blood, When you followed his instructions, he came right into your mouth and commanded in a stern voice, "Take it all down there, kid."

Not that you had a choice, you obeyed.

He entered your mouth, tore off your miniskirt, and dove right into your sex as you gasped with such pleasure. You thought, 'I'm not supposed to like this. Am I?,' as he inserted his finger directly into the small opening that was deep within your sex.

You groan loudly as he fucks you vigorously and hits all the right points because, after all, you need him. You pant and squirm as he does it. "Feelin' good, kid?" he chuckled with his deep raspy voice.

You groan deeply in a more intense, softer voice like a pornstar; it was too much for you to bear. "It appears that someone may be enjoying this a little too much, are we? " He responded in a hoarse, deep, low voice..

"Fu- fuck! Toji m' cumin' mm!" You barely had said, he was a tad bit surprised.. "are you not on control?.." he asked as he rose up to look at you on the ground..

"y..yeah.. m 'sorry .. " you replied a soft toned voice.. "alright then.. did I scare you, princess?" He cluckles the same as before, "maybeee!.." you replied.. "alright.. I did your little fantasy ya' weirdo.. " he laughed.

"I am not weird! " you protest. "Oh I'm sorry— should I call you a fuckin' down bad little pussy for me? " he replied with a sarcastic grin..

"because to have such a fantasy like yours is unusual, ain't it, my dirty lil slut?.." he says.. you pout in return, "don't pouts brat, I did what ya' asked." He says with a smirk, "or do you just want a round 2 already, what a needy brat, aren't ya darlin'? "

"what.. mm.. n..no.. " you replied stuttering like a dork.

"then get up and lets go back home, kiddo." He said in a raspy voice

"okay.. fine.." you pout, as you tried to get up.. you couldn't..

"awwh did I fuck you so hard you can't stand on two legs anymore?.. how cute.." he smirked, you say, "just shut up and get me off the floor!.." he helped you off the floor and carried you away like a groom to his bride..

You lay next to him on his bed at home and cling on to him as you think of the whole thing that just happened..

You completely forget you left your friends right inside of that damned haunted house thing that you all went, but none of that matters, all that matters, is Toji.. toji fushiguro is the only thing you care about, you didn't give a shit about them anyway.. let them be there.. they will find a way out sooner or later, right?..

FUSHIGUROSHOTWIFE2023/2024™ all rights reserved, do not translate, copy, use my layouts or ideas, do not repost my work even on different sites, do not steal any of my work. Do not claim any of my work as yours, like shit ain't nice.

[yanderes-galore]

Colm with prompts 26, 29 by An-ambivalent

11/10

-🧨

Out of all the Colm ones I got? This one is definitely the most tame, for better or for worse. You were in the Van Der Linde gang and implied to have been involved with Dutch in some way.

Prompts Here

Yandere! Colm O'Driscoll Prompts 26 + 29

"I can make all of your pain go away. You just have to say the words."

"Say you love me."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Blood, Torture, Obviously there's violence between you and Colm, Sadism, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Restraints, Abuse of power, Swearing, Mature themes, Graphic descriptions, Branding, Forced "relationship".

"Say you love me."

Those were the words that have been continuously barked at you for what feels like weeks now. A command that's often uttered as your captor smacks into you. This definitely wasn't about love...

This was about control... about a feud you wanted no part in.

Colm wanted you because Dutch had you. For years you had been running with the Van Der Linde gang. Dutch had done his best to keep you away from Colm, feeling you're too important.

How's it feel to know Dutch couldn't protect you?

Colm and Dutch have been at each other's necks for a long time. Colm's brother was killed... Dutch's previous sweetheart was killed in return... and Colm felt Dutch hadn't suffered enough.... Especially when the Van Der Linde decides to hide a pretty face like you.

Now here you were, captured by his boys and dragged into his basement. He didn't bother hanging you upside down, you were instead tied in the corner for his amusement. You were attractive before he took you in...

But in Colm's sick mind, he felt pleasure seeing you covered in bruises and wounds.

All those wounds were no doubt caused by him when he interrogated and ordered you around. If any of his boys harmed you, Colm made them his next victim. The man wanted to be the only one you saw now... the only one you felt.

"Is it so hard to admit your leader isn't good enough?" Colm snorts, nudging you with his foot while you groan. "You'd be so much better off with me. We have more money, more men, and once you agree... I'd be a better man than Dutch could ever be."

"Fuck off...." You snarl, acting like a cornered animal while Colm laughs at your defiance.

"You fight is adorable, sweetheart. But it isn't going to get you anywhere." Colm steps closer to grab your chin in a tight grip, causing you to flinch at the sore feeling.

"The only way you're getting out of this is if you say those three little words." Colm growls, eyes glaring into your defiant ones before he roughly shoves your head away.

"It's been a while, darlin'." Colm hums, pacing about the dimly lit room. "Aren't you hungry? Hurt? Those wounds are gonna get infected if you don't listen to me."

"Go to Hell." You spit, only for Colm to kick you onto your side. You hiss, wincing in pain as Colm clicks his tongue. He's getting impatient with you.

Breaking you would be yet another victory against Dutch.

"I can make all of your pain go away. You just have to say the words." Colm grins, pulling out his hunting knife and hovering the metal over a candle. "Tell me you love me... that's all... and I won't have to brand you as mine."

Part of you wants to continue to struggle, to tell him off again. Death would be a mercy to you at this point. Unfortunately, Colm would never do such a thing...

You're already so tired.

"Tell me you love me." Colm repeats, holding onto the heated blade as he grabs you closer.

"I love you...." You try to spare yourself the pain, but Colm hovers the blade over your thigh.

"Say it like you mean it, doll." Colm warns, the heat from the knife dangerously close to your skin. "Tell me you love me, bottom of your heart."

"I love you. I prom—!" You try again, yet your words are cut off by a loud scream leaving your throat.

The pain is unbearable, the knife cutting through your skin like butter as Colm grins. He's tracing idle patterns with the knife, just to see you cry. Just go see your skin burn.

"Sorry, honey... I couldn't help myself!" Colm laughs, soon engraving his initials into your thigh as you begin to plead. The smell of burnt flesh reaches your nose... the smell and the pain making you nauseous.

"Say it. Say you love me!" Colm coaxes, causing you to whimper.

"I love you..." You whisper, sobbing. "Please... I love you...."

"... We'll work on that..." Colm grumbles, putting the knife aside. "You'll mean it soon enough. Dutch ain't gonna help you, doll...."

Colm then pulls you upwards, listening to you whimper as he looks over your wounds. The sight is pleasing to him... it shows you're his.... but you need to be tended to. Colm clicks his tongue, looking over the open wounds and scarring burn.

"You fought me well, darlin'..." Colm chuckles, grabbing the blade again as you flinch. He heats it with the candle before pulling you closer. "No need to look so scared... you're an O'Driscoll now. Or at least, you will be..."

Colm hovers the blade over a gash on your skin, squeezing the wound closed before inching closer.

"Don't look so scared... I'm just tending to your wounds." Colm chuckles as you begin to shiver, about to pass out from the pain.

"Then right after this... you'll be all mine..." Colm whispers, right before burning your wounds closed as you squeal again.

"Not even Dutch can save you now, doll...."

[shaynawrites23]

I feel like Sirius Black was classically taught how to dance. Could you do a HC based on the reader not being good at it so when somone asks her to the yule ball infant of her friends she said no then tells the marauders she can't dance so she won't be going.

I Don't Dance... Or Do I?

Sirius Black x reader

Word count: 877

A/N: i turned this into a fic instead bc i was feeling the format more than a HC, hope you don't mind! it also turned out longer than expected lol

You love and hate the Yule season.

Love, because all the most gorgeous ballgowns go on sale, the excitement is palpable in the air, and the school grounds always resemble a winter wonderland straight out of a fairytale.

Hate, because the big event is a ball, and you can't dance.

Well, strictly speaking, you can. You're not very good at it, though; you always end up at least two steps behind your partner even when you swear you did everything exactly as all the other girls did. It's a sight, watching you flounder on the dance floor attempting to catch up, and it's a sight you refuse to give Hogwarts the pleasure of.

So usually, you skip the ball.

Or sometimes, you sneak in for a few minutes, just long enough to soak up the atmosphere before you go back to ensuring nobody asks you to dance. Which they can't if you're far, far away from the dance floor. The harder part, honestly, is coming up with reasons not to go if someone asks you to the ball.

This year is no different. You manage to dodge the few invitations you receive; your potential dates suffer the case of disappointment that so often accompanies (gentle) rejection, but you know they'll get over it. And as the Yule Ball grows ever closer, you're beginning to believe you're in the clear for yet another year. Your secret is safe, just as you wanted it to be.

Until someone asks you in front of your friends.

The boy—you can't even remember his name, that's how little you've spoken to him—takes your answer as expected, and while you do feel a twinge of guilt for turning him down like that, your fear of humiliation is stronger.

"You're not going to the ball?" Is this the first time your friends realize you aren't going? See you turn down a date to the biggest event of the winter season? Judging from their reaction and the three pairs of incredulous eyes on you, it probably is.

"No," you huff, sitting back down on the floor of the common room, where you'd been sitting when what's-his-name approached you, and you lean your head against Sirius' thigh. Sirius, who only smiles and pets your head affectionately from where he's taking up half the couch.

When you don't offer any further clarification, the boys share a look, and you swear you can pinpoint the moment they decide they want to hear the reason.

"Well, why on earth not? You love Yule, and as Sirius here always says, you'd look beautiful in a gown." James skillfully dodges the pillow Sirius throws at his head. Sirius concludes James has had too much practice dodging bludgers during Quidditch.

"Would you believe me if I said I just don't feel like going?"

The reason feels weak already on your tongue, and you gather from their similarly raised eyebrows that the answer is no. Darn it.

"You don't have to go," Remus starts, "but if you don't, we'd like to know why so we know you aren't missing on the fun over a small thing we could have helped with."

Fun. The Yule Ball does sound like fun, a lovely night off among all the beautifully dressed students and faculty alike, enjoying the decorations and the music and the atmosphere...

"I can't dance," you groan into Sirius' thigh before you can help yourself. "I can't dance, and it's a ball, and I don't want to humiliate myself in the middle of the dance floor."

Because the fear of the embarrassment far outweighs your desire to take part in the festivities.

"Is that all?" You look up for just long enough to see Remus' surprised expression, mixed with something that looks half-smug, the way he does whenever he wins complicated debates. "See, I knew it'd be something solveable. Just have Sirius teach you. Then you'll know how to dance, and you can come to the ball."

"Sirius?"

"Despite what you might think, princess, I am qualified to teach ballroom dancing. Or to take you to the ball. Or both," the boy in question chimes in with a wink. The disbelief must still be plain on your face, because he adds, "All members of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black are formally trained in more styles of formal dancing than I want to count. You've heard tales of my mother, do you really think she'd be able to live with anything less?"

That is a good point. Sometimes, it's easy to forget Sirius' high-society upbringing. And honestly, what do you have to lose?

"You'd really teach me?"

"Would the condition of going to the ball as my date be pushing my luck too far?"

That one, you don't even have to think about. Who wouldn't want to go to the ball on Sirius Black's arm?

"No, Siri," you laugh, using your hand on his leg to help you sit up. "But you better teach me properly."

"Don't worry, princess," he chuckles. "You won't be disappointed."

That evening, when you receive your first dance lesson from Sirius Black, you can only conclude he isn't as good a teacher as he made himself out to be.

He's better.

[fincalinde]

for your ask meme: wei wuxian?? 👀

Since I've got some new followers over the past couple of days (who knew what branching out from Xiyao would do for my reputation!), I'll once again add the disclaimer that I write MDZS meta and not CQL meta. I'm aware that in CQL, WWX is characterised somewhat differently. I have thoughts on that too, but I'm not immersed enough in CQL to commit to sharing them publicly.

Since WWX is the main character and appears in almost every scene, I won't attempt to write a thesis statement on him. (You cannot afford my hourly rate.) Instead I've decided to focus on an aspect of WWX that I feel is often overlooked or sanitised. That is to say:

WWX is extremely annoying.

He's not just irritating, or overly exuberant, or a touch too arrogant. He is infuriatingly obnoxious.

Obviously WWX is also brave and often well-meaning. He loves deeply, even if he consistently lets down the people who care about him. He's strong-willed enough to abide by his own sense of morality in the face of overwhelming disapproval and danger, and arrogant enough to make unilateral decisions when it would be better for all concerned if he took a step back. He's bad at big picture thinking and rarely considers the full ramifications of his actions, but he's also incredibly adept at getting out of scrapes, and he has an admirable if also somewhat depressing ability to shrug off pain and suffering that is the result of his difficult days on the streets and his mistreatment by YZY. 

And he's obnoxious.

I do think it often gets forgotten, because Wangxian is intended to be a love story and it's much more tempting to write sweeping romance and charming banter than hark back to all the canonical moments in which characters, including LWJ, genuinely want to throttle him to death.

He never shuts up! He's constantly laughing far too loudly and for too long. He's the sort of person who thinks it's funny to pull the rug out from under someone in a conversation so they end up discomfited and embarrassed. I fully understand that a large part of his hectoring LWJ is a precursor to his later romantic interest and is in line with his flirtation style, but the fact remains that he goads LWJ beyond the point of endurance on multiple occasions. LWJ just happens to be a weird dude who's really into it.

A good example of what I mean is when Wangxian encounter each other at Phoenix Mountain. WWX asks LWJ if he's ever kissed someone, then proceeds to speculate that LWJ has never been kissed and will never be kissed. LWJ doesn't seem to mind this at first, and only becomes angered when WWX lies about having been kissed before himself (oh LWJ), but it's important to remember that WWX has no idea that LWJ has any interest in him whatsoever. From WWX's perspective, he's just having fun belittling someone else over a topic that for most young people is a sensitive one. I don't want to oversell this moment and claim that it's bullying, actually, but I do want to use it to highlight that WWX is not always a considerate person and this type of behaviour is teeth-achingly thoughtless and cringeworthy.

I could go on, but if you pick any given scene including WWX you're likely to see dialogue in which he's being actively annoying to other characters, intentionally or otherwise. This isn't an attack on him, just an observation that in order to write him in a canon consistent manner he should be not just witty and chatty in a way where other characters simply roll their eyes and keep going. He should genuinely actually aggravate them and it should have consequences within the scene. Characters such as JC and WQ care about WWX but also find him infuriating, and that's with good reason—never mind the juniors, whom WWX takes pleasure in messing with. There are many characters who feel great respect and affection for WWX, and every single one of them also regularly feels deep frustration and irritation towards him too. There should be some meat on the bones of any back and forth between them.

[classicintp]

This advice isn't going to be for everyone, so consider it and decide for yourself. I just want to say that, you know, there may not be a profound reason you're alive. Your life may never culminate to some grand conclusion that justifies your pain, that makes your suffering worth it to you. I mean, it very much well might, but it may not.

A lot of people find a purpose in their life and they pursue to fulfill that purpose with all of their determination for all of their lives. Sometimes they regret spending their life single-focused, sometimes they die happy.

A lot of us instead have not found that purpose. Maybe we never will. Some of us are happy to not feel bound to a purpose, others of us struggle so hard to figure out why we're here, especially during a life of suffering. I won't be the judge of whether your suffering is for a reason, of if your life has an unrevealed purpose that your pain is required to fulfill.

When we become so desperate to make sense of the constant daily struggle whether it's physical pain, emotional turmoil, mental illness, financial woes, and so many more problems, we tend to ask in that desperation.. Why are we here then? Why are you alive?

You're alive because you are. Full stop. That's the start and the end of it. Maybe it was just random, or maybe your story has been written and destiny waits to guide you, I don't know and I don't pretend to know, but what is true is you are alive, and you can understand these words. That is more than good enough.

Make your own purpose. In my desperation I chose to define what makes a life worth living, I chose to modify hedonism to meet my values. To seek pleasure and to indulge in the senses all the way up to before it causes harm to others, up to before it knowingly causes my life to shorten, up to before it causes temporary or permanent pain or discomfort in the future. If I'm going to be alive then I'm going to feel as good as I can for as long as I can. I changed my views on sex, on art, on food, on money, on addiction, on everything that prevented me from fulfilling my chosen purpose. And how I chose to live my life isn't going to work for everyone, it doesn't have to.

You could choose to resist because fuck them, whatever that's supposed to mean. You could choose to create despite the destruction you experience. You could choose to learn. You could choose to entertain. You can choose to do multiple of these things.

And if you need just one more reason to choose your purpose, to fill up yourself what you perceive as a void left to you by fate, then do it out of spite.

If you didn't have a reason before, then you have a reason now. You're alive because you are, so get to it.

[deramin2]

Bell's Hells are so stupidly reckless and refuse to communicate even though they're breaking down from the stress and have all decided their lives aren't worth living so they'll fatally gamble for the cause. But also they love each other very much from the trauma bonding of the last 81 days and if any of them died the others worried destroy the world in their grief. They are walking disasters who should not be relied on to make cookies for a pot luck but have just been tasked with one of the riskiest and most critical scouting missions in history that could be the only thing that stops or mitigates a second Calamity. They might end up fighting each other to the death.

I love them so much. They are each my blorbos that I endlessly rotate around my brain. I'm having fun with seeing where this goes precisely because it feels unpredictable. Or like Uncut Gems where the whole appeal is that the main character is digging himself into a deeper and more dangerous hole with every decision and you're just curious how far he's going to get. And because it feels so real.

Love my representation for people that are mentally ill in very realistic ways where you really do just continually sabotage yourself and suffer through it but that always feels like what you deserve in the moment. The desperate need to prove your worth while feeling like you've lied to anyone who deems you worthy and they're going to figure it out any second now and everything's going to come crashing down. It NEEDS to come crashing down. But like, it doesn't and all that does is dump all your baggage all over the floor and some of it breaks and is sticky.

Exandria Unlimited: Calamity was fun because three explicit premise was the heroes were going to fail and the world would be destroyed because of it.

Campaign 3 is between Calamity and Vox Machina. Vox Machina were chaotic but it was a deeply heroic fantasy story where good is supposed to triumph over evil. There was always the risk they could fail, but that wasn't the favored option. Calamity they were doomed to failure and couldn't win.

But Bell's Hells feels like there is 50/50 odds on whether they win. It's far more challenging and urgent to stop Ludinus. And crucially the CHARACTERS are meant to be more challenging to have win. They are getting in their own way as real people do. They're all teetering on three edge of a corruption arc.

Corruption is what doomed The Ring of Brass. Covering up experiments. Trusting the wrong god because of incredible hubris. Manipulating the truth. Enabling others to do the same. They were so focused on their own ambition that they ignored or minimized the risks in their calculations.

Bell's Hells' greatest weakness is they're all self-sacrificing and willing to embrace dangerous powers to make themselves stronger at whatever cost to themselves or each other. They don't think they're good enough but they desperately need to be because there is no one else. Chetney voiced what they all believe: that their biggest asset right now is they're expendable.

And that's not really something you talk about with your friends because it sucks when you verbalize it like that. Your friends (of they are friends) are going to try to talk you out of that line of thinking even if they're deeply empathetic about why you're feeling that way. Just voicing their fears was a lot. Imogen feeling disappointed with Fearne because she didn't take the shard was really that Fearne was more afraid of sacrificing herself (and giving into corruption) than everyone else.

What if the heroes weren't heroic? What if they were in touch with their feelings on the surface but struggled to ever talk about it or change? (This is a theme in a lot of queer media.) What if they aren't good enough? What if they could be but there's no guarantee. Everyone agrees in advance that failure is just as interesting and pleasurable and fun here as succeeding. Just to watch the world change as a result of your actions. It's a very different tone.

Three Mighty Nein were nobodies who largely stayed nobodies even though they had a profound impact on the world. Bell's Hells are nobodies getting a crash course in becoming somebodies caught up in a nightmarish struggle, and they're crumbling under the weight of it. That's the story that rarely gets told even though it's far truer than heroism.

This is in line with the kinds of stories being told in Candela Obscura where mortality and heroism are more troubled in the face of unending nightmares. D&D's Epic fantasy is just a rarer setting to tell that story than horror. Personally I find that more mature and nuanced storytelling. Equally enjoyable but here there's more room to say something less often said and progressively more exploded than power fantasies.

This is like an evil campaign where every one of them is a mostly good person that has the capability to do great harm that others will curse their name for. They're desperately trying to pull out of that nose dive while the winds of change push down on them.

Tybee point isn't to make optimal decisions, it's to make interesting decisions. Press the big red button just to see what happens. Be brave enough to fail and see what happens when your character falls down. As Travis said her plays by following intrusive thoughts.

I'm having a lot of fun with this one because I get to follow why the characters made a decision and by what twisted logic that felt like a good idea even though it's very likely to blow up in their face. It's juicy. It's dramatic. It reflects a mindset I struggle with. It's different.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

pmd9 do you have any advice for keeping yr head up + staying afloat when there is so much suffering in the world? i really struggle sometimes 😓

i understand...i can try to offer suggestions, but i don't know if they're good, this is just how i've been operating ;

Basically just, take care of yourself, in any small way u can, not in a hedonistic way to achieve ignorance of the world suffering, but on the basis that we are all connected & any healing thought or action you take impacts the collective, so if you can consciously try to encompass a compassionate attitude towards yourself & others in your immediate vicinity, it has a butterfly effect that radiates outwards..,

& it's important not to weigh yourself down with guilt that you can't save everyone, because no one can, despite that we desperately want to. For me, i just try to do my best each day to put something back out into the world that is "positive", be it prayers or posts or whatever, internal or external. i am trying to create balance. neutralize the hell parts of the world, and not just in a metaphysical way but taking material steps too like donating whatever i can afford, teaching myself more about the wars happening, talking to people, being ever-presently aware of the wars & willfully deciding to use my energy in that direction, materially, not disconnecting from it,

And yet at the same time i am like, purposefully not overly present online. really not scrolling much, there's certain aspects of technology i find it crucial to not be too sucked into , not just rn but always. once again its a constant balancing act.. Online is really useful when u use it intentionally , and spend a good deal of time doing other stuff, like sitting outside and staring very closely at leaves or ants. If you're taking in a lot online u have to have outlets to transmute it or it all just sits in you.

the wars make me feel like, it is my duty to retain a grateful attitude towards my own existence, and live purposefully, as a way of honoring those who are no longer able to be here.

Like every peaceful silent moment i experience, i can see how blessed it truly is. And i know this feeling if left untended can turn into guilt really easily, in which case you have to carefully guide yourself through that maze like you would a child.. remind yourself of the fallen ones, remind yourself that you're carrying on for them, maybe even invite them down to stare at leaves with you. keep them in your heart. we have to take care of ourselves right now because our generation is aging, in the future we will wield the political power, and we must not let this time period be forgotten or distorted or repeated.

So really yeah just take care of yourself, for the future! let emotions flow through you without judgement, allow yourself to enjoy simple pleasures, try to cheer yourself on. The world needs there to be a You, and it's important not to lose sight of that amongst the feelings of helplessness, U are important. Be in nature a lot, read, drink tea, yoga if you're into it, walking, being around animals, that's what makes me feel calm collected & grateful lately. Pray as much as you can.

Sometimes none of this will help and you still can't stop feeling the despair, which is OK too, like i said, dont judge it, U might have to sit in the void with it. Just be kind to it. that despair is not the essence of who you are. it wants resolution too. i hope this made sense and comes across with the sensitivity i am intending. And i hope you are able to feel more brightly soon. Be Well my friend <3 There is still hope. Love, PMD9 <3