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mollywog · 3 months ago

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Tomorrow

A prequel to Complicated (can be read as a stand alone) Set the night of the 74th Reaping

She’s wandering home when her ears perk at the sound of heavy footfall approaching. Silently slipping into the shadows along the path, a figure appears several paces in the direction of the still buzzing festivities. The light is low but the broad shoulders and blond waves unmistakably belong to Peeta Mellark. She watches with interest as he meanders alone. Though the path is clear and straight, his feet are unsteady.

She frowns: He’s drunk.

It’s not that surprising, half the kids their age are probably worse off than him, it’s the night of the Reaping after all. With her sister’s first reaping safely behind them, even she had stopped by the celebration, though she hadn’t had more than a sip of white liquor.

She and Peeta aren’t friends, they don’t even know each other really, but she still feels a twinge of disappointment at his current state. She’s always held him in higher regard than the other boys at school.

In the next step he stumbles; Unable to correct his footing in time, he tumbles to the ground, grunting as he lands. He rolls to his back and sits up, cursing under his breath as he inspects his knee.

“You alright?” she says, emerging from her hiding spot.

He startles at her voice, eyes widening as he spots her. “oh, Katniss, hey. I didn’t know you were there.” He pulls himself to his feet, wincing when he puts weight on his left leg.

“You okay?” She repeats, looking him over as she approaches; there’s a tear in his pants just below the knee, but she doesn’t see blood and he was able to stand on his own: all good signs.

“Ah, yeah, nothing hurt but my pride.”

“Good thing no one saw you.”

“You saw me.”

The usually confident boy looks bashful, and she wonders why he would care: She is no one, at least to him. “I won’t tell,” she says in reassurance. His lips upturn in a poor imitation of a smile and she scowls. “Promise,” she adds defensively.

At this, he shakes his head and laughs; unlike the smile, it’s genuine, “I believe you, Katniss.”

Her stomach swoops at the sound and she turns her head to conceal her own smile. “Well if you’re okay...” she trails off, not really wanting to leave, but not knowing what else to say.

“Could I walk with you for a bit? Make sure you get home safe?”

“Seems like you might be the one in need of an escort.”

He chuckles, “maybe so, but I can’t go home just yet… not like this.”

She frowns. Her parents would be none too pleased to see her in his state, but their lecture would be nothing compared to the back of Mrs. Mellark's hand. She shrugs her assent before turning towards the path, looking back to ensure that he follows.

It takes him a moment to register her response, when he does he jogs a few paces to catch up, “I don’t usually do this, you know?”

She doesn’t know: It must be written on her face because he continues, “Drink too much... or at all really,

She shrugs despite feeling a small bit relieved.

“Today was my brother’s last reaping; he wanted to celebrate and was feeling generous... I don’t know, I think he thought he was doing me a favor.”

“By giving you a hangover?” she raises a brow.

“Nah, he wanted me to loosen up. Relax enough so I’d talk to someone.”

She snorts.

“Hey, are you laughing at me?”

“I didn’t suppose you’d need help talking to anyone.”

“It’s a girl.”

Her heart sinks, “You talk to plenty a girls.”

“Not like this.”

She looks down at the plumes of dust her boots kick up as she walks. “So, did you? Talk to her?”

He hums an affirmation.

“And how did it go?”

“Not very well I think. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m a drunk… or an oaf, or a clod… probably all three.”

She frowns. A very small part of her thrills at this; Had he succeeded, he might be off with this girl right now rather than here with her. But the greater part of her feels his disappointment. “I’m sorry.”

He grimaces, “and now she pities me, so definitely not good.”

Her eyes go wide and snap to his as realization dawns.

“I should have known the first time we spoke I’d make a fool of myself,” he adds as if in confirmation.

“Me?” Giddy laughter bubbles up, until a breathy giggle escapes.

He groans, “you’re laughing at me? This keeps getting better.”

“Not at you. I’m just… surprised?”

“You know what; Nevermind. Can we just… forget it?”

But she doesn’t want to forget…

Back when she was eleven, her father had been terribly ill but determined to return to work, her mother disagreed. Her parents had argued that night; they never did that. The fight ended with her mother conceding and making their evening tea. But what her father hadn’t known was that she’d added a double dose of sleep syrup to his cup. He slept straight through his shift, only waking when the siren’s had sounded all across town. A section of the mine had collapsed and a number of his crew had been lost along with it, but thanks to her mother’s deception, her father had not been among them.

She’d watched the families that hadn’t been as lucky as hers struggle that winter: some driven to the bottle, others to Cray, and worse still were the children sent to the community home; their neighbors unable or unwilling to help.

She had been among the helpless crowd until the day she noticed the baker’s youngest son sneaking rolls to the starving children that begged at the merchants’ back doors, despite his mother’s ire.

His kindness had taught her that even at eleven she was not powerless to help. As someone who could depend on two meals at home, she had begun forfeiting her lunches to the children at school who had none. Her father too had taken notice, offering guidance and foraging knowledge to any who dared venture past the fence. It was imperfect but it wasn’t nothing.

Ever since that day, she’s kept an eye on Peeta Mellark with a growing fondness she never imagined he could return.

But he does. She doesn’t doubt his sincerity; those years of watching have only strengthened her certainty of his goodness.

They walk in silence for half a minute as she gathers her courage, “So what was your plan? Before your brother decided to help?”

He sighs, “I don’t know. Offer to walk you home, minus falling on my face. Talk about something other than what a fool I am; like our favorite colors or the best time of year to visit the meadow. And by the time we made it to your door, if all had gone well, ask if you’d want to do it again sometime…”

“That sounds nice.”

“What would you have said?”

“Hmm?”

“What if I had asked you out? If things had gone… better than this, do you think you might have considered it?”

They’ve stopped in front of her porch and she stares up at the house to find it quiet and dark: same as the rest of the street. “One minute. Wait here,” she bids instead of answering his question. Ducking in the house, she silently sorts through her mother’s jars until she finds what she’s looking for, measuring and parceling the herbs with practiced hands, the familiarity helping to steady her nerves.

Reemerging, she’s relieved to find him still there. “Make a tea with this tomorrow,” she says as she hands him the packet, “in the meantime drink plenty of water. It should help the headache that’s coming.”

“Sure thing Doctor Everdeen,” he gives a half hearted smile, “thank you.”

He turns to walk away, but her hand shoots out to stop him, landing on his arm, firm and warm under her fingers. His eyes flit from her hand to her face, holding her stare. Her heart flutters, “What if you ask me tomorrow?”

His brows knit together before shooting to his hairline, “yeah?”

She nods, and because the odds have been in her favor so far today, she pops up to her toes, kissing his cheek, “see ya tomorrow Peeta.”

Complicated | What If

#everlark fanfiction #complicated #this would have happened anyway #TWHHA #in Panem #never reaped AU #Mr Everdeen lives

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tay-tay-everlark13 · 9 months ago

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YOU BELONG WITH ME

I stand by the window and watch him talking to his girlfriend. She's upset. She probably didn't understand the joke he told her and took it personally.

Again.

‘Cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do.

Taylor Swift's song plays in my headphones. Definitely not the type of music she would like. Too girly. Which is weird, because of the two of us, she's the one who acts girlish while I'm the complete opposite.

So here I am - Katniss Everdeen in love with her best friend Peeta Mellark, who is dating the beautiful Julia Collins.

I sigh and rest my chin on the windowsill when I hear the sound of the new message.

Let's go out somewhere. Please.

15:36

I smile to myself and look out the window to see him with his phone in his hand.

kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkp

We are walking down the road to the park. Peeta is wearing his worn-out jeans, in which he looks so handsome. But I cannot stop thinking this is how it has to be.

Peeta and me. And no one else.

And I'm just more sure about this when I finally see his beautiful and shine smile, but then he gets massage and everything is gone.

"Are you alright?," I ask.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," he answers, but I don't believe him.

Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?

And for the next time I'm compering myself with her. She wars short skirts and high heels, while I'm wearing normal T-shirts and sneakers. She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers.

And what makes me more sad and my eyes are starting getting tearly. I'm dreaming of the day when he wakes up and find that what's he's looking for has been here the whole time and she has him now. Maybe forever.

And that makes me lie to Peeta and go back to home. Of course with him, because she would never let me go back to home alone when I'm not feeling well. Actually he never lets me go back home alone.

kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpk

I'm half asleep when I hear something knocking to my window. I open my eyes and see him. I'm shocked but I open the window and let him go inside.

"What the hell are you doing, Peeta?!," I yell at him but not so loud, so I won't wake up Prim or mom.

"I have to talk with you," he says.

I'm about yelling at him even more, but then I see his eyes filled with tears and my heart is broken.

"What happened, Peeta?," I ask and get him to hug me, and he wraps his arms around my waist tightly and clings to my shoulder, so I can easily run my fingers through his soft hair soothingly.

"I'm no longer with Julia," he answers and I want to cry and celebrate at the same time.

But then I'm angry.

"She broke up with you?," I scream loudly, not caring that it's late at night.

Peeta pulls away from me, surprised by my outburst, and strokes my arms soothingly to relax me. He's touch distracts me and leaves behind hot marks that burn me and make me focus only on his rough, strong hands.

"Actually, I did it."

This shocks me even more.

"I broke up with her, Katniss."

"Why?," I manage to choke out.

He doesn't answer right away, so I suggest he sit down and cool down while I make him some tea.

As I go downstairs, I thank heaven that my scream didn't wake anyone else but this old cat that I've had to cook for years

Good for you, I think.

I prepare two cups of warm drink for me and Peeta and go back upstairs to join him.

"Here," I give him the dish and he puts it on the windowsill next to my bed.

"Okay, you don't want to drink," I mutter to myself, "So you wanted to talk about something." I remind him his words.

He looks up at me and slowly gets out of bed, walking towards me. He took the cup from my hands and set it next to his, then took my hands in his.

"I broke up with Julia," he finally says, looking into my eyes and rubbing my knuckles.

"I know," I can't say more.

"But it's not everything," he says mysterious. Then he does something I don't expect.

He kisses me. First, he gently takes my face in his hands and lightly presses his lips to mine. However, when he feels me kissing him back, he starts kissing me harder and more greedily. He licks my lips, asking for entrance, which I mindlessly allow. His hand goes from my cheek to my waist, circling it possessively as he presses me against him, and I can't help but think that I like what he's doing to me and how he makes me feel.

Because I feel wonderful. A flock of butterflies fly out in my stomach and I feel like it's my first kiss. Because it's true - it's the first kiss that really matters to me and while I really feel something.

When he breaks away from me, we are both panting, our lips red and swollen from the long and intense kissing. We're both blushing and I don't know what to say.

So Peeta starts. He was always wonderful with words.

"I did it for you," he says low. And this voice makes me weak on my knees.

God, I'm so weak because of Peeta fucking Mellark, I think. Only for him.

And then I actually realize what he just said.

"What?," I ask stupidly.

"I said I broke up with Julia for you."

"No, no, I understand but...," I say and look at him. "Why?"

I don't and can't understand how he could do it for me. I mean, brake up with Julia. He adored her so much. He had a crush on her for ever. Well, he never said that he loved her, but I guess it's hard to fall in love in a few months.

"God, Katniss, don't you see that?," he asks and stares at me waiting for me to say anything.

But I don't understand what he wants me to say. I don't understand what he's saying.

"It's you, not her, that I want," he says, caressing my cheeks with his hand, which makes me even more confused. "Okay, listen to me, Katniss. I remember driving to your house in the middle of the night when I'm sad or happy or anything. I remember you making me laugh, when I know I'm about to cry. You're the one who care about that simple things like my favorite song, my dreams," he stops for a moment and look down on his shoes, but his hand is still on my cheek, and the other is on my wrist.

When his eyes come back to mine I see more fear in them. And I'm sure about that I have to know what he was about to say, so I do the only thing I've got stuck in my mind right now.

I kiss him. I grab his face and press his lips to mine, just like he did before. His hand tightens around my waist and his other hand goes from my cheek to my hair, which I left loose for sleeping. He tangles his hand in my curls and I let out a soft sigh in response.

When we pull away, we're flusher than before, and there's a huge smile on his face. It takes me a moment to realize that I, too, am smiling so hard that my cheekbones start to hurt.

"I did it just to know what you wanted to say," I'm trying to look like I don't care, but I'm blushing with a big smile on my face, so he just laughs.

"What I was trying to say was that I think I know where I belong," he pauses and look me straight in the eyes, "I think you know it's with you, baby."

And then we spend all night long kissing and touching ourselves on my bed.

#everlark #katniss and peeta #thg series #the hunger games trilogy #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #we love we stan peeta mellark #everlark fanfiction #taylor swift x everlark #taylor swift x thg #taylor swift #you belong with me #you belong with me (Taylor's version)#Spotify

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katnissmellarkkk · 1 year ago

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Oh I love this part ngl. I have the exact section right here but since I’m bored atm I’ll also annotate it for fun!

I want to ask them more, but lunch is announced. I look for Peeta, but he's hanging with a group of about ten other victors, so I decide just to eat with District 3. Maybe I can get Seeder to join us.

(Katniss being like “my fiancé is too popular for me, I guess I’ll just sit with the weirdos”)

When we make our way into the dining area, I see some of Peeta's gang have other ideas. They're dragging all the smaller tables to form one large table so that we all have to eat together. Now I don't know what to do. Even at school I used to avoid eating at a crowded table. Frankly, I'd probably have sat alone if Madge hadn't made a habit of joining me. I guess I'd have eaten with Gale except, being two grades apart, our lunch never fell at the same time.

(I love how Katniss just casually accepts and is content with the fact that they’ll be eating separate but Peeta’s group is like “nope” and she’s like “great 🙄 I’d rather have eaten without you at all than in a crowd, Peeta”. Also it’s my headcanon Peeta suggested dragging the tables together 😂 idk why)

I take a tray and start making my way around the food-laden carts that ring the room. Peeta catches up with me at the stew. “How's it going?”

“Good. Fine. I like the District Three victors,” I say. “Wiress and Beetee.”

“Really?” he asks. “They're something of a joke to the others.”

(Peeta : “babe, can you not bond with the weirdos please? Bad for my rep”)

“Why does that not surprise me?” I say. I think of how Peeta was always surrounded at school by a crowd of friends. It's amazing, really, that he ever took any notice of me except to think I was odd.

(Lolololol Katniss suddenly remembering she’s engaged to the prom king jock.)

“Johanna's nicknamed them Nuts and Volts,” he says. “I think she's Nuts and he's Volts.”

(Peep Peeta’s already budding friendship with Jojo)

“And so I'm stupid for thinking they might be useful. Because of something Johanna Mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling,” I retort.

(The last part is so unnecessary??? Like Katniss are you jealous??? Girlllll)

“Actually I think the nickname's been around for years. And I didn't mean that as an insult. I'm just sharing information,” he says.

“Well, Wiress and Beetee are smart. They invent things. They could tell by sight that a force field had been put up between us and the Gamemakers. And if we have to have allies, I want them.” I toss the ladle back in a pot of stew, splattering us both with the gravy.

(Katniss : “stop picking on my little weird old blorbo people!”)

“What are you so angry about?” Peeta asks, wiping the gravy from his shirtfront. “Because I teased you on the elevator? I'm sorry. I thought you would just laugh about it.”

(Peeta finally snapping lololol “what’s your problem, bro/babe” but for real, Katniss’ still being butthurt over the elevator scene is super relatable)

“Forget it,” I say with a shake of my head. “It's a lot of things.”

“Darius,” he says.

“Darius. The Games. Haymitch making us team up with the others,” I say.

(Not mentioned here but this part reminds me, I find it interesting that Katniss said the night before that “Darius and all the sadness towards him being made into an avox belongs to her and Gale and maybe Haymitch but not Peeta. Peeta doesn’t get to be upset because he didn’t know Darius that well because Peeta was a merchant kid.” Because after Mockjngjay, after Peeta is held captive with Darius and witnesses his and Lavinia’s brutal murders, I’d say Peeta is more connected to Darius than Katniss or Gale or Haymitch ever could be.)

“It can just be you and me, you know,” he says.

(Peeta : always can be counted on to charm her attitude away)

“I know. But maybe Haymitch is right,” I say. “Don't tell him I said so, but he usually is, where the Games are concerned.”

(“Let’s listen to Haymitch. Let’s not tell him we’re listening to him though.”)

“Well, you can have final say about our allies. But right now, I'm leaning toward Chaff and Seeder,” says Peeta.

(A little sidebar but I love how Katniss and Peeta both somehow separately grew a fondness for Seeder. They’re both attracted to good people. 🥹🤧 I mean, obviously. That’s how they found each other.)

“I'm okay with Seeder, not Chaff,” I say. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Come on and eat with him. I promise, I won't let him kiss you again,” says Peeta.

(Okay, on one hand, adorable how Peeta says he’ll protect her 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹. We love to see it. 🥰 On the other hand though, I always hated how Chaff kissed her that one time and no one, including Peeta, did anything about it? Or even said it wasn’t okay or it was creepy? Idk that’s one incident where I’m annoyed with even Peeta. Like babe, cute that you say you’ll protect her here but you didn’t last night??? Anyways, I digress)

There’s a lot of things that I love about the hunger games but one of them is that the main romance, at its core, is the ‘weird girl/cool guy who’s obsessed with her’ trope

#samantha gives commentary 🥰🎀💅🏻🦋✨

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years ago

Photo

Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch are slowly becoming a proper team! No more secrets! (for the most part)

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 4-6 are below the cut.

heart

Losing that comfort of sleeping in each other’s arms after the Victory Tour must have been hard for Katniss and Peeta! Up until Katniss hurts her ankle, they probably didn’t really do much about it, just trying to make it through on their own... After she hurt her ankle and Peeta’s spending more time over at her place, I can easily imagine him staying over, at least until she’s fallen asleep, which might help a little... Since they are living only three houses apart from each other, I like to imagine that they can see each other’s bedroom windows from their bedroom (how else would Katniss know that Peeta sleeps with the windows open? I can’t really imagine that they would be able to open the windows of the train they were on - y’know, for “safety reasons” (i.e. making sure nobody can escape)); maybe they’d both light a candle and put it by their window, as a signal they are going to sleep... It’s not the same, but it helps a little

mind

I mean, aside from the systemic rigging of the reaping system (i.e. poorer people generally having more entries, so they can have some food), I can easily imagine there being a manipulation of the “odds” when someone becomes too vocal or troublesome for the local authorities, such as someone trying to unionize a district’s workforce, for example

soul

In the districts, their impact has to be big - their win alone was a huge defiance of the Games as they used to be... sticking together and sticking up for each other ultimately led to them defeating the Capitol’s rules! In-between the Games and the Victory Tour I don’t think there was much noteworthy going on (although maybe the fact that, so far, none of the new victors’ loved ones had been hurt - Prim, Mrs. E., but also Gale and his family would be visible during the celebrations, I’m sure, same probably goes for the Mellark’s - might tell the people in the district that Snow and his cronies were aware of the attention any assassination attempt would gather and that this, in turn, might actually could become the last straw that would spark a revolution. In a way, that was proof that the people on top were at least a little afraid of what the people in the districts would do...) And then, especially during the visit of D11, with Katniss expressing her thanks and Peeta reaching out to share their winnings with the people from D11, another district than their own - it must have provided a lot of inspiration, I’m sure.

As for the Capitolites, maybe some of them would notice for once how unhappy/riled up the people in some of the districts were... or at least stop to think about how this time, a show of love and companionship actually provided more “entertainment” and intrigue than the brutal gore and bloodshed from previous Games (also, longer lasting - there is actually much more “story” to be had from the star-crossed lovers from D12 than from any individual winner of previous Games, if you think about it... Their “love story” is still on-going, with an upcoming wedding and the promise of a family... it’s still creepy and voyeuristic as hell, though)

Chapter 4

Everything he [Haymitch] said was true about the Capitol’s expectations, my future with Peeta, even his last comment. Of course, I could do a lot worse than Peeta. That isn’t really the point, though, is it? One of the few freedoms we have in District 12 is the right to marry who we want or not marry at all. And now even that has been taken away from me. - God, this sucks so much! As Katniss rightly points out, her misery isn’t about Peeta at all - it’s about her (and also his, just pointing that out) agency being taken away! She’s being stripped even of that little sliver of agency that inhabitants of D12 usually have (choice of whom to marry, or whether to marry at all)

I wonder if President Snow will insist we have children. - Eugh, just the idea of Snow being the one to have the last word on that subject... 🤢 The invasion of privacy here... - The only person who should get to decide whether Katniss should have children or not is Katniss herself! Period!

My mind searches frantically for a way out. I can’t let President Snow condemn me to this. Even if it means taking my own life. Before that, though, I’d try to run away. - Boy, Katniss is even contemplating taking her own life, rather than to submit to the life the Capitol wants to force on her; it’s not her first choice (she’d rather run away), but it shows the desperation she’s feeling

Could I even manage to take everyone I love with me, start a new life deep in the wild? Highly unlikely but not impossible. - Later we will see that Peeta and Haymitch also belong into the category of “people Katniss loves” 😊(as well as her family, Gale, and his fam, of course)

“And Peeta’s team is probably still asleep.” “Doesn’t he need prepping?” I ask. “Not the way you do,” Effie replies. What does this mean? It means I get to spend the morning having the hair ripped off my body while Peeta sleeps in. I hadn’t thought about it much, but in the arena at least some of the boys got to keep their body hair whereas none of the girls did. - Gotta love that everlasting sexism that, even far into the future, still won’t allow women to have frickin’ body hair (y’know, like most humans do 🙄)

I can remember Peeta’s now, as I bathed him by the stream. Very blond in the sunlight, once the mud and blood had been washed away. Only his face remained completely smooth. Not one of the boys grew a beard, and many were old enough to. I wonder what they did to them. - Katniss seems to have committed every single detail about Peeta to her memory, including how his body hair looked when she cleaned him in the last Games... okay 👀😏 On a more somber note, what is it that the Capitol is doing to these poor kids?! The boys couldn’t grow beards and - I’m assuming - the girls wouldn’t get their periods while in the arena (since the Games can last for weeks, it would be a huge disadvantage if any of the girls also had to content with cramps + periods - aside from worrying about getting murdered, I mean); it’s such a violation of one’s autonomy over one’s own body, yikes

Flavius tilts up my chin and sighs. “It’s a shame Cinna said no alterations on you.” “Yes, we could really make you something special,” says Octavia. “When she’s older,” says Venia almost grimly. “Then he’ll have to let us.” - Eeek, no thanks!😦 And frankly, it really shouldn’t be Cinna’s call to make but, y’know, Katniss’s!!! I don’t know, I get real panick-y just reading this exchange (I have never even gotten my ears pierced - my mom wouldn’t let them be pierced until I could make my own decision on that subject matter and as someone with skin issues and bad experiences with needles, I really don’t feel the need to have any unnecessary metal inserted into my body, so... I’m good)

His [Peeta’s] apology takes me by surprise. It’s true that Peeta froze me out after I confessed that my love for him during the Game was something of an act. But I don’t hold it against him. [...] “I’m sorry, too,” I say. [...] “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You were keeping us alive.” - That apology of Peeta’s... *chef’s kiss*; it was totally understandable that Peeta was upset and needed some time apart from Katniss after her confession, which had caught him completely by surprise, not even Katniss blames him for that... But his apology shows that he really made use of their time apart to work out his emotions and to reflect on both their situations - that’s some emotional maturity to be envious of! Plus, his apology is a good move to get their communication channel opened up again

It would be nice if he’d come to me with this earlier, before I knew that President Snow had other plans and just being friends was not an option for us anymore. But either way, I’m glad we’re speaking again. - Come on, Katniss, cut this boy some slack! He can’t read minds - how is he supposed to know about these things if you don’t tell him anything? It’s nice that you’re glad that you guys are on speaking terms again, but communication isn’t a one-way street, y’know?

I remember the tiger lily cookie and, now that Peeta is talking to me again, it’s all I can do not to recount the whole story about President Snow. But I know Haymitch wouldn’t want me to. I’d better stick to small talk. - Katniss really should have listened to her instincts here - Haymitch might have a better idea of how the Games/Capitol works, but he knows little about teamwork, which is an important factor in their specific (and unprecedented!) situation; I’m not blaming Katniss for relying on her mentor here, but this entire approach is going to crash and burn in the next chapter

It’s good to feel his fingers entwined with mine again, not for show but in actual friendship. We walk back to the train hand in hand. - Not to say that you can’t have friendships where you frequently hold hands - you totally can - but it is noteworthy that I don’t think I can recall Katniss holding hands with any of her other friends... (somehow, I can’t really picture Katniss holding hands with Gale casually like that... nor with Madge or Finnick later on)

At the door, I remember, “I’ve got to apologize to Effie first.” “Don’t be afraid to lay it on thick,” Peeta tells me.- There is something about this exchange that speaks to me... maybe because it reads like some sort of an inside joke between them? Or because it shows that, despite being on good terms with Effie, Peeta’s totally aware of how high-maintenance/over the top Effie is... I dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peeta has painted the Games. Some you wouldn’t get right away, if you hadn’t been with him in the arena yourself. Water dripping through the cracks in our cave. The dry pond bed. [...] Others any viewer would recognize. The golden horn called the Cornucopia. [...] And me. I am everywhere. [...] “What do you think?” he asks. “I hate them,” I say. I can almost smell the blood, the dirt, the unnatural breath of the mutt. - These are the pieces Peeta meant to exhibit in the Capitol, right? I wonder if he hoped that these paintings of his impressions/memories of the Games might actually connect with some Capitolites and might even move them to feel some empathy for the Tributes? Maybe he hoped that they would be more receptive for that kind of thing if he packaged it in art?

“All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you’ve brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?” “I see them every night,” he says. [...] “Me too. Does it help? To paint them out?” “I don’t know. I think I’m a little less afraid of going to sleep at night, or I tell myself I am,” he says. “But they haven’t gone anywhere.” - I do wonder, whether and how painting out these moments could have therapeutic value for Peeta - on the one hand, the act of painting out specific intrusions/flashbacks might be helpful because he’d end up focusing on the more technical side of painting, y’know? Focussing on mixing the right shade of a certain color might help create some emotional distance from the moment itself... also, since painting usually takes some time, Peeta would actually spend a considerable amount of time facing these moments head on, rather than trying to avoid them (avoidance tends to increase the frequency of flashback/intrusions) and maybe spending so much time on them could also help him contextualize them within the broader narrative of his life, which is the basic principle behind Narrative Exposure Therapy, which is said to be pretty effective at treating PTSD... just my two cents

I can’t believe the size of District 11. “How many people do you think live here?” Peeta asks. I shake my head. In school they refer to it as a large district, that’s all. No actual figures on the population. - Perfect example of how tightly the Capitol controls the information the people in the districts have about the other districts... which is basically nothing. Let’s keep them in the dark so they are less likely to connect with each other and band together...

Cinna comes in with a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. I think how much Peeta will like the color. - Lol, Katniss bringing everything back to Peeta because she definitely hasn’t a crush on the guy, I see 😉

And then he [Peeta] hesitates before adding something that wasn’t written on the card. Maybe because he thought Effie might make him remove it. “It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we’d like for each of the tributes’ families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives.” - Peeta, the rebel! Talk about an act of radical kindness! I’m so proud of him. But also, I think this is another excellent example of how he and Katniss are on the same wavelength (this took me some time to find, but here you go): I silently say good-bye to Thresh and thank him for my life. I promise to remember him and, if I can, do something to help his family and Rue’s, if I win. (Ch. 23, THG)

I look at Peeta and he gives me a sad smile. I hear Haymitch’s voice. “You could do a lot worse.” At this moment, it’s impossible to imagine how I could do any better. The gift... it is perfect. So when I rise up on tiptoe to kiss him, it doesn’t seem forced at all. - Peeta: does anything that exemplifies his sense of morality; Katniss: *swoons* - but honestly, it is so beautiful how Katniss is so attracted to Peeta’s goodness and kind heart - it also tells us a lot about her (she is quite pure, as Peeta will point out later in this book) and what she values

“Wait, please.” I don’t know how to start, but once I do, the words rush from my lips as if they’ve been forming in the back of my mind for a long time. - And then Katniss launches into one of her spontaneous, heart-felt, and inspiring speeches/acts, expressing her thanks, sympathy, and a sense of kinship with people beyond the borders of her district, beyond the superficial barriers the Capitol has been trying to maintain in order to weaken the ‘common folk‘ and keep the exploitation going

The full impact of what I’ve done hits me. It was not intentional - I only meant to express my thanks - but I have elicited something dangerous. An act of dissent from the people of District 11. - Again, Katniss has done something that will solidify her as a symbol of the revolution without intending to do so and that’s the point, I think - she inspires people through her genuine displays of caring for others (which, in Panem, is already rebellious on its own)

Chapter 5

“We’re going!” says Peeta, shoving the Peacekeeper who’s pressing on me. “We get it, all right? Come on, Katniss.” His arm encircles me and guides me back into the Justice Building. - Protective Peeta! Also, I think it’s interesting to note the wording of Peeta’s arms “encircling” Katniss and then “guiding” her - his arms surround her, and he’s leading her away from harm (at least to the extent that is in his power - can’t really be safe from harm in Panem, can you?), but it doesn’t seem smothering or oppressive to Katniss in any way -”guide” has more of a connotation of giving direction without force, imo; in contrast, when Katniss talked about her kiss with Gale she mentions she’d never imagined how those hands [...] could as easily entrap me. (Ch. 2, CF); granted, these are two very different situations - the phrasing just stood out to me

“What happened?” Effie hurries over. “We lost the feed just after Katniss’s beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard gun fire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!” - Very telling how a clueless Capitolite like Effie wouldn’t register the rebellious aspect of Katniss’s speech; by keeping the Capitolites in the depths of sweet, sweet ignorance while simultaneously harshly trying to curb any spark of rebellion by cutting off the feed, the government is actually drawing the attention of the ignorant Capitolites to the act of rebellion itself (and also letting the people in the districts know that there was something censor-worthy going on); kind of shooting themselves in the foot here

As far as I know, Haymitch has only been here once, when he was on his Victory Tour decades ago. But he must have a remarkable memory or reliable instincts, because he leads us up through a maze of twisting staricases and increasingly narrow halls. [...] Eventually we climb a ladder to a trapdoor. When Haymitch pushes it aside, we find ourselves in the dome of the Justice Building. - I wonder how Haymitch has come to know this part of the Justice Building? Has he been to District 11 more often than Katniss supposes (he is friends with Chaff, after all), did his mentor take him there for some private conversation, or was there a moment during Haymitch’s Victory Tour where he felt so overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and powerlessness that he fled to the most desolate, solitary place he could find?

“I was supposed to fix things on this tour. [...] Calm things down. But obviously, all I’ve done today is get three people killed, and now everyone in the square will be punished.” I feel so sick that I have to sit down on a couch, despite the exposed springs and stuffing. - Obviously, all of this is awful and no one - especially a traumatized, 16-year old girl - should have to suffer carrying such a burden... But also, here we see one of the downsides of Katniss taking sole responsibility for everything - she totally forgot that Peeta might feel responsible too, only that he didn’t even know what’s at stake - which leads us to-

“Then I made things worse, too. By giving the money,” says Peeta. Suddenly he strikes out at a lamp that sits precariously on a crate and knocks it across the room, where it shatters against the floor. “This has to stop. Right now. This - this - game you two play, where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I’m too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them.”"It's not like that, Peeta-" I begin. "It's exactly like that!" he yells at me. - When kind, gentle Peeta’s mad, you know shit has hit the fan 😳 But also, being passed over/kept out of the loop seems to hit pretty close to home for Peeta (while I would like to know what his home life looked like before the Games, I have to admit that at this point, I’m somewhat afraid I might not be able to handle the truth...). I just think this scene is an important moment that leads to an end of (most of) their detrimental secrecy (hello end-of-CF-Haymitch!) and establishes their little team as such (hence the drawing)

“You’re always so reliably good, Peeta,” says Haymitch. “So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. I didn’t want to disrupt that.” “Well, you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today.” - Remember the last time someone overestimated Peeta (Foxface and the berries)? That ended in someone’s death as well... And, Haymitch? ‘Never assume’ applies to you, too!

“Do you think I gave them [Rue’s and Thresh’s families] a bright future? Because I think they’ll be lucky if they survive the day!” Peeta sends something else flying, a statue. I’ve never seen him like this. - Considering that his rebellious act of kindness is now threatening to become a sword of Damocles, hanging over those towards which he wanted to extend his kindness - simply because he’s been kept out of the loop (again)- Peeta’s anger is quite understandable

“Look, boy-” Haymitch begins. “Don’t bother, Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I’d have wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we’re very good.” - Peeta doesn’t really care if it’s just his life on the line, but if other people’s lives are at risk? He takes no shit (it’s admirable in one way and deeply concerning in another); also, Peeta is right - while there still is a game to play, it’s not the Games, so different circumstances and rules apply

“From now on, you’ll be fully informed,” Haymitch promises. “I better be,” says Peeta. - Peeta generally is a very cooperative fellow, but don’t ever think he can’t be forceful and stand his ground when it matters!

“Did you choose me, Haymitch?” I ask. “Yeah,” he says. “Why? You like him better,” I say. “That’s true. But remember, until they changed the rules, I could only hope to get one of you out of there alive,” he says. “I thought since he was determined to protect you, well, between the three of us, we might be able to bring you home.” “Oh,” is all I can think to say. - This is such a quiet, sweet moment and also shows that Katniss, Haymitch and Peeta have been some sort of team from the start (also, in their team effort they actually managed to get the both of them back home!)

Everything is happening too fast for me to process it. The warning, the shootings, the recognition that I may have set something of great consequence in motion. The whole thing is so improbable. And it would be one thing if I had planned to stir things up, but given the circumstances... how on earth did I cause so much trouble? - Lol, you’re giving yourself a little too much credit here, Katniss ;) Frankly, the Capitol has been the one to create this powder-keg they are sitting on in the first place - all it needed was a little spark... All these injustices, the humilitation, the pain inflicted... it’s like an elastic rubber band that’s been stretched and stretched - until it snaps

“I’m something of an expert in architectural design, you know?” “Oh yes, I’ve heard that,” says Portia before the pause gets too long. - Bless Portia’s heart, making sure they avoid that awkward silence 😂

Effie looks so distressed that I spontaneously give her a hug. “That’s awful, Effie. Maybe we shouldn’t go to the dinner at all. At least until they’ve apologized.” - Aww, Katniss doing something nice for Effie!😊

Peeta and I join hands. “Haymitch says I was wrong to yell at you. You were only operating under his instructions,” says Peeta. “And it isn’t as if I haven’t kept things from you in the past.” - Peeta sorta apologizing, even acknowledging that he also had kept secrets from Katniss? We love to see it👍 - [...] “I think I broke a few things myself after that interview.” “Just an urn,” he says. - Peetaaa... stop diminishing your own physical injuries! Good thing that Katniss won’t let him: - “And your hands. There’s no point to it anymore though, is there? Not being straight with each other?” I say. “No point,” says Peeta. - Gasp! Honest, open communication as a good basis for a successful relationship? It’s more likely than you think!

“Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?” I’m so startled I answer. “Yes.” With all that has happened today, has that question actually been preying on him? - Peeta, you sly dog! Your priorities 😂

Some crowds have the weary-cattle feel that I know District 12 usually projects at the victors’ ceremonies. But in others - particularly 8, 4, and 3 - there is genuine elation in the faces of the people at the sight of us, and under the elation, fury. - I do think that it’s interesting how D4 is one of the districts being elated to see Peeta + Katniss and displaying such fury, despite being a Career district; just goes to show that, just because their odds are better at winning the Games, doesn’t have to make them more simpatico with the Capitol’s cruelty... (Considering how Finnick knows how to perform CPR, it’s highly likely that people in D4 are also used to awful and precarious working + living situations... maybe that’s exactly why they generally are so robust and do well in the Games; and maybe they are simply not that above joining the other Careers as long as it improves their chances of survival, like Katniss or Thresh had been... worked for a while for Peeta, too)

Effie starts giving me pills to sleep, but they don’t work. [...] Peeta, who spends much of the night roaming the train, hears me screaming as I struggle to break out of the haze of drugs that merely prolong the horrible dreams. He manages to wake me and calm me down. Then he climbs into bed to hold me until I fall back to sleep. After that, I refuse the pills. But every night I let him into my bed. We manage the darkness as we did in the arena, wrapped in each other’s arms. - 😭 Also: Very telling how Capitolite Effie just throws pills at the problem (with the best of intentions, I’m sure), which is an immediate, unpersonal, and superficial solution at best, whereas Peeta holding Katniss, offering comfort, understanding, a sense of safety, and human connection is so much more personal, intimate, and effective (for both of them!)

I personally killed the girl, Glimmer, and the boy from District 1. As I try to avoid looking at his family, I learn that his name was Marvel. How did I never know that? - You know why, Katniss - I suppose that before the Games I didn’t pay attention and afterward I didn’t want to know. - Still, not knowing his name didn’t stop you from humanizing him, Katniss, and that’s important, too

Whatever we do seems too little, too late. Back in our old quarters in the Training Center, I’m the one who suggests the public marriage proposal. Peeta agrees to do it but then disappears to his room for a long time. Haymitch tells me to leave him alone. “I thought he wanted it, anyway,” I say. “Not like this,” Haymitch says. “He wanted it to be real.” - Come on, Katniss, don’t be so callous; Peeta’s just as much of a prisoner here as you! Also, it’s all about being real or not real with these two, isn’t it?

Chapter 6

... you would think that at this moment, I would be in utter despair. Here’s what’s strange. The main thing I feel is a sense of relief. That I can give up this game. [...] That if desperate times call for desperate measures, then I am free to act as desperately as I wish. - Honestly, I think it was pretty short-sighted of Snow to let Katniss know so clearly that she didn’t succeed in her task; she did her utmost and it wasn’t enough - might as well fling caution to the wind now. All bets are off. If there had been still some small chance she could have ‘made things right’, she probably would have been trying harder to comply to his expectations. (I’m sure Snow thought the upcoming implementations of his stricter regime would be enough to keep Katniss in check, but pride comes before a fall ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

It’s essential to get back to District 12, because the main part of any plan will include my mother and sister, Gale and his family. And Peeta, If I can get him to come with us. I add Haymitch to the list. - For such a ‘loner’, Katniss sure has a lot of people that are important to her... And how ironic that Peeta, who she isn’t sure she’ll be able to convince in following her will be a much more willing participant that Gale, who Katniss is pretty much banking on joining her

“You’ll probably have to pass a new law,” I say with a giggle. “If that’s what it takes,” says the president with conspiratorial good humor. Oh the fun we two have together. - The dynamic between Snow and Katniss is so strange; despite the obvious antagonism there is definitely some vibe of interacting with each other at eye level and it’s weird (Sidenote: Is there any law in Panem preventing minors from marrying?)

“I want to taste everything in the room, “ I tell Peeta. [...] “Then you’d better pace yourself,” he says. “Okay, not more than one bite of each dish,” I say. My resolve is almost immediately broken at the first table, which has twenty or so soups - couldn’t have happened to me; I hate soup (like, thick soups I maaaybe can get behind, but clear soup/broth is just flavored water to me, no thanks - then again, I’m a picky eater)

Peeta and I make no effort to find company but are constantly sought out. We are what no one wants to miss at the party. I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food. - Well isn’t that a mood for every social gathering ever (one person I enjoy talking to and lots of food I like? Perfect.)

I pick up a small roasted bird, bite into it, and my tongue floods with orange sauce. Delicious. But I make Peeta eat the remainder because I want to keep tasting things - Katniss seems to like the combination of meat and fruit, huh? (the lamb and plums, now bird and orange sauce) Personally, it’s a combination that’s on thin ice for me; there are only a few dishes with that component I actually like and it took me forever to tolerate them (I don’t know if it’s the texture or the taste, but something makes me apprehensive about it); anyway, Katniss making Peeta eat the rest is such a casual, couple-y thing to do (or at least something you do with someone you feel very comfortable with, I think)

Peeta looks at the glass again and puts it together. “You mean this will make me puke?” My prep team laughs hysterically. “Of course, so you can keep eating,” says Octavia. “I’ve been in there twice already. Everyone does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?” I’m speechless, staring at the pretty little glasses and all they imply. - Oh boy, I have a lot of thoughts on this part: A) I just noticed how this is the second delicate/fancy glass/drink that’s bringing about a jarring revelation: first that orange juice with the frilly straw in THG, now these tiny wine-stemmed glasses, B) “Everyone does it” + “how else would you have fun?” are the shittiest reasons I’ve ever heard at a party for doing something stupid you probably don’t want to do (I’m having flashbacks to all the times I had people trying to pressure me into drinking alcohol as a teen - it was even legal, btw - although I insisted that I didn’t like the taste (which I still don’t, to this day); it was tiresome 😑), C) “everyone does it” - the people in the Capitol must have some messed up teeth if that’s a regular occurence (sure, they probably bleach their teeth all the time, but also... they’d really need to, D) the obvious: how effed up that they just puke to stuff in more food when in the districts people literally are dying from starvation?! (and yeah, unequal distribution of resources sadly isn’t just a thing in Panem, I know... but there is something about actively purging yourself just for funsies that’s just extra, well, sick)

All I can think of is the emaciated bodies of the children on our kitchen table as my mother prescribes what the parents cannot give. More food. - God, how awful! How powerless they must feel 😟

And here in the Capitol they’re vomiting for the pleasure of filling their bellies again and again. Not from some illness of body or mind, not from spoiled food. - Ooh, I’ve never noticed before how this passage not only recognizes physical reasons for purging, but also mental reasons! Wouldn’t have necessarily expected Katniss to acknowledge eating disorders like that, tbh... She has become a lot more cognizant and sensitive when mental health issues are concerned

One day when I dropped by to give Hazelle the game, Vick was home sick with a bad cough [...] he still spent about fifteen minutes talking about how they’d opened a can of corn syrup from Parcel Day and each had a spoonful on bread and were going to maybe have more later in the week. How Hazelle had said he could have a bit in a cup of tea to soothe his cough, but he wouldln’t feel right unless the others had some, too. - Aww, Vick is such a sweetheart! Hazelle is raising her kids right!

“Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment,”I say. “Really, this is nothing by comparison.” “I know. I know that. It’s just sometimes I can’t stand it anymore. To the point where... I’m not sure what I’ll do.” He pauses, then whispers, “Maybe we were wrong, Katniss.” “About what?” I ask. “About trying to subdue things in the districts,” he says. - Peeta’s rebellious nature coming through again!

“Sorry,” he says. He should be. This is no place to be voicing such thoughts. “Save it for home,” I tell him. - I know Katniss means D12, but her phrasing of “home” evokes a more domestic, couple-y connotation again 😊

I don’t want to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. I don’t want to feel his hands, one resting against mine, one on my hip. I’m not used to being touched, except by Peeta or my family, and I rank Gamemakers somewhere below maggots in terms of creatures I want in contact with my skin. - It’s telling that, while Katniss is not big on being touched aside from her family (does that include Gale? probably? although they hadn’t even really hugged until Katniss had been reaped, so... I dunno), she’s totally fine with Peeta touching her (more than that: remember how good she felt holding his hand again in Ch.4 and how she’s feeling safe in his arms when they are sharing a bed), it says a lot about how comfortable she feels around him

Plutarch steps back and pulls out a gold watch on a chain from a vest pocket. He flips open the lid, sees the time, and frowns. “I’ll have to be going soon.” He turns the watch so I can see the face. “It starts at midnight.” - Honestly, this very subtle hint/foreshadowing of the clock setup of the Quarter Quell arena is simply brilliant! And also, midnight is going to become an important point in time as well from here on out (lightning tree, in the hanging tree song, saving Peeta and the others from the Training Center in the Capitol)

It’s another mockingjay. Exactly like the pin on my dress. Only this one disappears. He snaps the watch closed. “That’s very pretty,” I say. “Oh, it’s more than pretty. It’s one of a kind,” he says. - The disappearing mockingjay on the clock is interesting because A) Plutarch can’t really be flaunting the symbol of rebellion as Head Gamemaker, duh, but also B) the clock arena will be the place where the Mockingjay will disappear (until the rebellion will be able to use her for their cause); and that last comment by Plutarch clearly is aimed at the Mockingjay (Katniss) herself

When I open my eyes, it’s early afternoon. My head rests on Peeta’s arm. I don’t remember him coming in last night. - Okay, Katniss must feel hella safe and used to Peeta joining her in her bed, because apparently she didn’t even wake up when he did, like... I’m a fairly heavy sleeper, but I can’t imagine sleeping so deeply that I wouldn’t jerk awake if someone crawled into my bed while I was snoozing

“No nightmare,” he says. “What?” I ask. “You didn’t have any nightmares last night,” he says. He’s right. For the first time in ages I’ve slept through the night. - Telling how the first time Katniss sleeps through the night is after Snow let her know her performance wasn’t enough; she’s must have been so tense and on edge, desperately trying to calm down the districts and convince Snow, that she hadn’t been able to sleep properly, aside from the obvious sleeping issues she’d have from the PTSD (I’m often that way before an important exam - especially if it’s an oral exam; I get tense just thinking about it 😓)

“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay though the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.” “Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead. “I don’t know. We never arrived,” I say. “But I felt happy.” - Interesting how in Katniss’s dream, the mockingjay is Rue - lending further credence to the hypothesis that maybe Rue was originally meant to be the Mockingjay (would make Plutarch’s comment of the mockingjay being “one of a kind” a bit more hypocritical/exaggerated/dramatized, which still fits with his flair for propaganda/showmanship... and ultimately, Katniss as the Mockingjay was unique, but that doesn’t mean that the rebellion couldn’t have made someone else their symbol if they needed to); also, Peeta brushing Katniss’s hair off her forehead is so sweet and intimate 😊

After I got home, we [Madge and I] started spending time together. [...] It was a little awkward at first because we didn’t know what to do. Other girls our age, I’ve heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I aren’t gossipy and clothes bore me to tears. But after a few false starts, I realized she was dying to go into the woods, so I’ve taken her a couple of times and showed her how to shoot. She’s trying to teach me the piano, but mostly I like to listen to her play. - Honestly? I’d love to read a fanfic about Katniss and Madge figuring out their friendship (let me know if there already are some!); it’s cute how they end up including each other in their hobbies 😊 Ah, the classic “I’m/We’re not like other girls”, which often is especially prevalent during your teen years (I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been gulty of this in my past 😅)... Katniss might actually would have benefited from talking with Madge about her boys’ troubles, though... And it’s so funny how Katniss admits that she has no interest in clothes, despite it being her supposed “talent”, while she also admits that she does admire Cinna’s work

... there’s a mob scene. The square’s packed with screaming people, their faces hidden with rags and homemade masks, throwing bricks. Building burn. Peacekeepers shoot into the crowd, killing at random. I’ve never seen anything like it - I... I have. At least on tv... In different places, at different times, but... yeah...

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #everlark #thg meta #my sketches and drawings #honestly there were so many scenes in these 3 chapter that I wanted to draw... but I barely had the time for these 2 #Catching Fire is just chock-full with interesting/important moments... my book is more post-it notes than pages at this point

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alliswell21 · 3 years ago

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Why do you think Peeta has said that he's going to take Annie if Finnick doesn't take care of her in MJ ? Also do you think Peeta has had an affair with Annie before joining Katniss in District 12 like some suspected ?

Hi Anon, thanks for the ask.

To answer the first question, there are several levels:

1) Peeta’s hijacking twisted his memories of Katniss and probably everything they went through in the arenas to the point his feelings for K were poisoned. He sees her as a threat and untrustworthy and dangerous and a liar. He’s led to believe she was either cheating on him or using him and leading him on… whatever it was, he doesn’t trust her and sees her as duplicitous girl who had him and Gale at the same time, and maybe in his mind is not too far of a stretch she’d had something with Finnick as well (that last one is a head canon of mine concerning this specific passage, because why else would he attack Finnick too if he didn’t think Finnick was part of the affairs? But I digress), so he is first of all acting like a scorned, self righteous, angry boy who was wronged by the girl he loves.

2) He IS his mother’s son, and he does have an angry streak. He’s very capable of lashing out and rage and throw stuff across the room like we saw in CF, which in my opinion, he was right to be angry then, not that it’s an excuse for him to break stuff that aren’t his— people, in the real world, a boy/girl/lover destroying your belongings or stuff in general in a fit of anger is VERY bad news, stay away! — Normally, it seems Peeta controls his anger pretty well and maybe because he’s got first hand experience with an abusive, volatile person, he tries to keep his temper under check (again, personal opinion), but seeing as he’s not in his right mind when the Annie comment happens, we can think he’s not bothering to keep his temper anymore, so he lashes out with his words, which as we all know, are his best weapon.

3) His intent is to HURT Katniss. But as I said under #1, his jab is for Finnick too, maybe because he’s jealous of him or in his mind Finnick might also be another rival, just like Gale. He also knows Finnick “betrayed” him by not telling them about the rebels’ plan and for leaving him behind. He probably knows by now how all most of the tributes in the Quarter Quell where trying to protect Him, in order to keep Katniss tether to the group until she could be broken out, yet, Peeta was disposable in big scheme of things, while Katniss was the importar piece, and Finnick was an active part of the whole thing, plus, he managed to be rescued as well, while Peeta and Johanna got left behind. I know this one is a bit of a stretch, but it comes to reason.

4) This isn’t really Peeta, but his “mutt” persona talking. He has been programmed to kill Katniss, cause her stress, maim her, disable her in any shape or form he can, so she can’t lead the rebels. This is the part that breaks my heart, really, because this right here, is where we can see how much of a piece in the Capitol’s game is become, and he’s unwittingly doing everything the Snow sent him to do, without him knowing it. The real Peeta never would’ve deliberately used Annie in such an objectifying way. She’s innocent in all the mess, yet he brings her in knowing what his words will do, and that’s just not Peeta’s nature at all, this is pure Capitol venom tuning through his veins.

Now, about your second question: No. there’s no indication Peeta had any contact with Annie while in the Capitol, outside that meeting Coin had with the Victors.

The idea that Peeta would’ve pursued an affair with Annie is very appalling to me 😡

First of all, Annie is dealing with whatever mental health issues she’s had for years, plus she’s grieving, newly widowed and pregnant to top it all off. She’s very much in love with her dead husband, and I totally doubt she would ever want to be with another man after what she’s been through. To think that Annie would’ve gone into an affair like that is just 😖 to me feels almost abusive to suggest Annie had an affair with a guy who left her so quick (a couple of months at best). She’s not emotionally or mentally able to engage in that stuff before Peeta went back to 12, and by the way he says that Dr Aurelius had only signed off on his leaving for 12, means he was eager to come back home.

Second of all, Peeta was undergoing mental health treatment while he was in the Capitol. Any Dr worth their salt would’ve advise his patient to steer away from romantic relationships until he was in a stable place mentally. Plus, we know Peeta was still very obsessed with Katniss during/after the hijacking.

So, there’s no way Annie and Peeta had an affair before he went back to 12. The idea is ludicrous, seeing how Annie is in no way ready for such a thing, and Peeta is just trying to get better as fast as he can to go back home to Katniss.

Hope that helps, and I’m sorry if I sound like I’m mad or anything… I’m not, but I just feel outraged on Annie’s behalf that people would just think to lump her into a relationship so carelessly like that.

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katnissdoesnotfollowback · 10 months ago

Note

Although I will not deny there is in all likelihood a Send Nudes situation for most of the remaining guessed fics, I'm going to cut myself off with this last response to an incorrect guess. Mainly because I have other things to work on, but also because a lot of the others would be fun to write but wouldn't add much to the... uh... conversation here. Anyways. In a few days, I'll be posting an expanded version of the original drabble that'll make it obvious which fic it belongs to. Until then, enjoy a hefty amount of second hand embarrassment.

Send Nudes: A Case of the Honeymoons edition

This day is fucking endless. This conference is fucking endless.

I smile slightly at the text from Katniss as I shut the door to our apartment behind me and toss my keys onto the kitchen counter. And open the fridge to grab the orange juice. I pour myself a glass as I answer the texts that came in on my way home from work. Katniss first.

What would make it better? Maybe you should go get a massage at the hotel spa.

Then I answer Finnick in our group thread about plans for this weekend, after Katniss gets home from her work trip. I’m in the middle of making a sandwich when my phone chimes and I read the text on the screen, from Katniss.

Send nudes.

Holy shit. Did Katniss just ask me for a dick pic? She must’ve hit up the bar after her sessions today, but who am I to deny her what she wants, even if it is a drunken request. Besides, she’s been gone several days already. I miss her so fucking much, for more than just the sex. But honestly, I’d have to be insane to not miss our sex too. I’m already sporting a semi just thinking about her being horny enough to ask me for nudes, imagining what she’d do if I sent one.

Abandoning my sandwich, I unbuckle my belt and work my pants down my hips along with my shorts.

“Oh, fuck,” I moan softly as I wrap my hand around my cock. I have to steady myself on the counter with one hand as I stroke slowly, imagining her laying alone in her hotel bed, wearing just a shirt and her legs spread wide open on the sheets, her fingers slipping in and out of her pussy. I imagine her wet, dripping and moaning my name.

And what about when she gets home? If we think of this as foreplay? I imagine her teasing me. Maybe whispering her lips over the tip of my cock before she pushes me back on our bed and straddles me.

I have to stop now and take a few deep breaths. Still holding my throbbing cock in one hand, I fumble with my phone and take the picture, attaching it to a reply to her request.

Does this help? Make yourself come thinking about all of this inside you.

I send it with a smile. I pull up my pants, wincing and finally deciding I’ll just have to leave them unzipped while I finish my late lunch. And then my phone chimes. I stare in horror at the picture of himself that Finnick has sent -- shirtless and posed provocatively with a thumb tugging down on his swim trunks, clearly just getting off his shift as a swim instructor. Quickly followed by a flurry of nightmare texts.

Finnick: *image attached* Why, Katniss? Do you need a distraction?

Johanna: Damn, Kitty. #Respect. Never knew you had it in you to demand nudes.

Johanna: Also how tf do you walk right after riding that jumbo breadstick? 😜

Finnick: So we’re in agreement here that the odd part is Katniss asking, not Peeta whipping it out and sending within minutes

Johanna: She straight up COMMANDED and got the D pronto. Slay, queen.

Finnick: Are we sure this doesn’t count as a Brainless moment?

Johanna: You feeling a bit insecure there, Odair? Or do you got some competition for Blondie's King Size Baguette?

Annie: Stop teasing them. It was obviously an accident.

Annie: But also Katniss is clearly in massive dick withdrawal. And can we blame her?

Johanna: Oooooh burn. You gonna defend your package, Odair? Come on now. We can all play.

Johanna: *image attached*

It takes me a second of slack jawed staring to realize I’m ogling Johanna’s bared breasts. “Fuck!” I shout and move to delete the thread.

Katniss: I will murder every last one of you and enjoy it.

Johanna: Except for your Sugar Loaf. You’re too attached to that cock to kill him.

Johanna: And you’re the idiot who sent the demand for nudes in the group thread.

Katniss: BLOCKED AND DELETED

I delete the thread and set my phone aside, choosing to bow out as gracefully as I can after sending a dick pic to my wife and several of our close friends. Another text comes in from Katniss.

We are not going to the lake with them this weekend.

That’ll just make it worse. They’ll spend the whole time talking about how it’s obvious we bowed out just to fuck.

Don’t make me regret my choice to stay at home and fuck you until we’re both Brainless instead of deal with their shit all weekend.

Well alright then. If she can handle it, so can I. I move my fingers to respond and then groan in renewed horror at the text that just popped up in my conversation with Katniss.

Finnick: So I’ll take that as your regrets for this weekend. Enjoy your Sexapaloosa!

Johanna: Link: Buy High Quality Personal Lubricant in Bulk at The Lion's Den online!

Have any of the AU Peeta’s you wrote about in your fics ever was the first one to ask for nudes and/or the first one to send it?

(I kind of can see Peeta asking, Katniss thinking it's a joke, but going with it anyway, and then boom, dick pic)

A continuation of this ask, I presume.

I can think of a couple of my au Everlarks this might fit, but here you go, Anon. Katniss texts in bold italics, Peeta’s in plain italics.

+++

Missed you last night

Didn’t sleep too well without you here

You missed me? That’s so cute.

Rude. I tell you I didn’t sleep well and you call me cute?

Can’t help it. You’re cute when you scowl at me.

Am not. I’m ferocious.

Bet you’re scowling right now.

AM NOT!!!

Prove it. Send a pic of you wearing a smile. A real one.

And nothing else.

Did you just ask me to send you a nude selfie?!

Well I can’t ask you to wear nothing but me right now, so I figure a smile is second best.

You are unbelievable

Unbelievably in love with you 😘

You don’t think I’ll do it.

I mean… I know how you are in bed. 🥵 😜 😏 But sending a picture of yourself? ��

*Image Attached*

Katniss… fuck.

Where’s mine?

*Image Attached*

All. Yours. 🍆

Unfair, Peeta. You know how I feel about plump eggplants.

I’ll make sure it’s ready and waiting for you when you get home, my love.

+++

A/N: Peeta did not send a picture of an actual eggplant.

#words are peetas thing not mine #i regret nothing #and i regret everything

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katnissmellarkkk · 4 years ago

Note

General #7

Hiiii! Okay, well I bet you thought I forgot about this! Or, more than likely, you forgot you even requested this back in Decemeber. But never fear, my child. I remembered and have been thinking of this fic and what to write for months.

And so I’m so sorry, I’m a total perfectionist and I started and discared like 3 ideas for this before deciding on this oneshot sooo if this sucks, I’m at least comforted by the fact that I accomplished something in writing this itself? That sentence made zero sense but... I’m tired 🤷🏼‍♀️😅.

Prompt : General # 7 :

“Is that blood?”

“Yes but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-”

“You are literally bleeding.”

Anyways, thank you for the prompt and here we go!

Whispers Of Light

I don't know exactly how I got roped into this. How exactly Delly Cartwright, Peeta's best friend—and alright, my friend now too—managed to convince me to help her and Leevy and about three dozen other members of the community with sorting boxes.

Sorting boxes. Organizing contents. Decorating with "found treasures".

The type of activities Prim loved doing with our mother. The type of activities I refused to do after my father died, to punish my mother for her depression.

The type of activities I now kick myself for walking out on, that I'll never be able to take back. I'll never be able to get those moments back with my sister. I'll never know what those hours between her and our mother entailed, because I chose to exclude myself, just so I could hold onto my petty anger for something that was out of all our control.

Maybe that's why I agreed to help Delly and the others with sorting through boxes upon boxes of debrief, of the items that scarcely survived Twelve's bombing almost two years ago. Maybe I only agreed out of guilt, both for never doing this type of endeavor with my sister and for being the direct cause of the bombing itself.

But whatever my reasons were, I agreed to help nonetheless, and I always follow through my promises. If there was one part of me forged in the war, if only one minor aspect of me was amplified in the smoke and haze and blood of revolution, it was the importance of keeping your promises, against all odds.

The dire consequences of a broken promise has long lasting aftereffects, beyond anything either Haymitch or I wish to dwell on.

"Katniss!" Delly calls, holding up an old, half-ripped paper book that is completely void of a front cover. "Look! I think this book is from the old Apothecary Shop!"

I squint at the dusty, decimated item, not entirely convinced. "I don't think so?" I murmur, unable to even decipher the words on the now melted, conjoined pages. "I'm pretty sure my mother kept the only apothecary book in her family?"

Kanon Bagley turns to inspect the battered item in his girlfriend's hands as well. "I don't think this is a medicinal plant book, Dells," he says sheepishly, a small smirk playing on his lips.

She gives him an incredulous look. "What do you mean medicinal?"

I peer up at him too, not comprehending his meaning any more than Delly. "What kind of plants do you think are in here?" I ask, taking the nearly destroyed object myself and flipping through the worn pages again, seeing odd herbs that neither of my parents ever mentioned or had on hand. "These don't look like the poisonous ones my father told me about?"

Kanon bites back a laugh now and I can't help feeling a little perturbed. As kind and soft-spoken as he usually is, I'm foreign to the feeling of him laughing at me. "What?" Delly snaps at him before I even can.

He still chuckles though, in spite of both our nasty glares. "You guys, it's a book of plants that'll get you high."

It takes a full minute for the meaning to dawn on me. Long enough that Leevy and a couple guys I used to go to school with come over to inspect the book as well. Long enough that they confirm Kanon's assessment just as I realize we're talking about plants that'll make you feel akin to how the morphling made me feel while confined for I killing Coin.

While everyone else snickers—and Delly full on chortles—I pass the book back to Kanon, sliding out of the crowd and moving towards a brand new box of savaged items.

It's not that the mention of plant-based drugs is a trigger for me. It's not something I ever truly gave any thought to before, to be honest. My father likely knew of them but it's not like he was about to bestow that kind of knowledge on his eleven-year-old and my mother perhaps felt it was inappropriate to mention.

No, it wasn't the subject in itself that hit a sore spot for me. But like so many times before, it's where the subject led my mind. It's where the topic took me back to.

Snow's Execution Day. The day I chose to kill President Coin instead. Being thrown back into my old tribute room. Getting high on the morphling.

Trying to forget all that I'd lost. Trying to forget my little sister becoming a human torch before my very eyes. My district engulfed in flames. The ambiguous loss of my best friend.

The connection between me and Peeta that I believed then would be permanently severed. That I believed then to be irreparable.

I suppose I believed then I was irreparable too.

And I miss Peeta suddenly, even more than I already did. Because he always knows what to say when my thoughts turn dark, when I'm suddenly triggered out of the happy, every day events and suctioned backwards to a war torn bird with her wings clipped.

But he's not here to talk me down or scare away the ghosts haunting my mind. He's not here to comfort me or even shoot me a supportive glance. No, he's at his very busy business today.

Peeta's bakery—the Mellark Bakery—has only proven to withstand the test of time these past few months. Since someone accidentally burned down the place, with nothing more than a croissant and a fancy Capitol toaster, the rebuilt bakery has been nothing but a success.

And also extremely time-consuming, I grumble internally, as I begin to pull out stuffed toys that once belonged to dead children.

"If any of those are still intact, we can donate them to the community home," Leaf John says as he opens the box across from me.

"And what exactly are we supposed to be use as decorations from these boxes?" I murmur, peering into another cardboard container, full of half-charred papers and cloths.

The general idea of today, as Delly had pitched it to me last week, was to help the community of Twelve finally sort through these boxes, donate what we could to those in need and decorate the new Justice Building with the leftover contents inside.

Somehow though I can't imagine pinning up terrible drawings of plants that'll inebriate you or headless teddy bears is going to bode well with the district.

Delly rolls her eyes in my direction—a whole new kind of response that I never thought I'd be receiving from the girl who skipped through the town square until she was fourteen years old—before nodding towards boxes on top of the ladder. "We're decorating the Justice Building with the surviving photos from those boxes, Katniss."

"Oh." Then why am I sorting these grimy, dirt-covered playthings? Why didn't anyone give me more clear instructions on today?

And why has it taken almost two years for Twelve to get a group of people together to organize the surviving items from the bombing?

I have no idea how Peeta's managed to get two bakeries built in the time it's taken for thirty-eight of us to come to the Justice Building and look through fifty cardboard boxes. And if I'm being honest, I have no idea why I'm even still here helping. I'm clearly not contributing much to the event. There's definitely more than enough volunteers without me.

And, of course, I could be at the bakery right now. Without a doubt, I'd be of more service there than I am here, digging through dusty knickknacks. I could be helping Peeta and Thom and the other part-time employees, exerting more knowledge and authority than I have here.

After all, Peeta did say the bakery was partially mine. In his mind, at least.

The ulterior motive of getting small, fleeting moments with my boyfriend, of basking in the feeling of safety with him beside me, of the occasional stolen kiss or hand squeeze when no one is looking, runs through the back of my mind.

And sways my decision immensely.

I open my mouth to tell Delly and the others that I'm about to head out, that they clearly have it covered here and I'm just in the way, when at the worst possible second, Leevy kindly murmurs, "Katniss, do you mind starting on the box on the ladder? Seeing if any of the pictures are in decent enough shape?"

I hesitate for a long moment, realizing immediately my predicament. It'd be rude to leave right after someone just essentially assigned me a task. I did agree to be here today, to help out with this tedious project. Leaving right now would only come off as rude and inconsiderate.

This is the reason I never did enjoy group assignments in school. The longer I'm here, the more I'm rediscovering this fact about myself. The division of the workload, the bore of the standing around, not knowing if you're doing the right or wrong thing, the lack of total control.

But I still nod after waiting a beat too long and agree with the nicest flare in my tone I can manage.

I'll go through the one box at the top of the ladder and then subtly make my exit afterwards. The image I unintentionally conjured up of Peeta and the bakery is still pulling at me, making me anxious to get back to him, to see him again even though we were together only three hours ago.

Since we officially became a couple a few months back—though Haymitch scoffs at that notion, claiming we've been together since Peeta first started sleeping over in my bed—I've found myself growing far more clingy to him than I ever could have anticipated. I hate when he leaves for the bakery in the mornings now, even as I still revel in the solace I find inside the woods. I look forward to his return home every night. More than even look forward to it, I'm usually at the bakery around the closing hours, helping him clean and inventory, asking him when he's coming home. Maybe looking somewhat unconsciously flirtatious as I say it.

I grab the box sitting on the ladder's top stair and pull it open, easily maintaining my balance one rung down, the same way I maintain my balance on a tree branch while hunting.

Inside pours out a plethora of photographs, mostly of Twelve's now past citizens. Near the top of the pile I see images of Greasy Sae's daughter, Dolly. The mother of her granddaughter. The daughter who died of croup a few years before the war.

Those photos must belong to Sae, I realize. Which means more of her items are probably scattered throughout the boxes here. And despite the fact that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she'll tell me not of be impractical, that if she's made it two years without these things she doesn't need them now, I still make a mental note to return her lost items. If nothing else, I make a mental promise to give back to her the photos of her daughter.

I know better than anyone what kind of comfort photographs of the deceased can provide.

As if in line with my thoughts, as if I alone manifested it somehow, the next image that catches my eye is one I entirely do not anticipate.

It's a shiny photo, on the kind of glossy paper my family could never afford. In the image is a blonde man with broad shoulders and a tall build. Wrapped in his embrace stands a petite girl, with long blonde curls and mascara accentuating her already long lashes. The couple both have eyes that match the color of the sky and are dressed up in some of the nicest clothes in all of Twelve. A white dress with lace. A gray suit with a black vest. The pretty girl wears jewelry and lipstick and there's a familiar glint in the male's eyes and I find myself mesmerized.

And I can't pretend I don't see my boyfriend in both of their faces. I can't pretend Peeta isn't the spitting image of both his parents.

He has his mother's smile, I realize with startling assurance. I never saw the witch smile personally, at any point in my life so I suppose I wouldn't know where he got his charming, sweet grin from.

The mannerism looks so out of place on his mother. The kind smile Peeta has, the one that could light up a blackened sky, doesn't bode with the woman in the picture, even on her wedding day. The charming smile doesn't fit with what I know of the woman's character. With what little about her Peeta chooses to share.

But I'm even more surprised to find how much Peeta has come to resemble his father. How much Peeta has grown to favor the now deceased man.

The last time I saw the baker—the original baker, that is. Haidon Mellark—before the Quarter Quell, I resented the fact that Peeta wasn't as tall or as broad as his father. I privately believed if he'd inherited those traits, he'd be even more likely to win the games again and I could worry about him less.

Peeta was always taller than me and was always remarkably strong, after working in the bakery since childhood. But his father was a whole different level. Haidon Mellark, I'd forgotten until now, had a body that could only rival my own father's.

And as it turns out, Peeta did inherit Haidon's physicality. He just also happened to be a late bloomer. Like his mother, I imagine, staring at her tiny frame in the picture.

The change in Peeta's form occurred so gradually I barely even noticed until a couple months ago, when I woke up with my head against his heart and abruptly realized just how broad he had become. Until I couldn't even reach to kiss his jaw on my tip toe. Until he started laughing at me and had to lift me up in order to properly embrace the way I like.

"Katniss?" I hear Delly beckon, trying to bring me back to reality. Trying and failing, that is. I hear her but only in a vague, distant sense. My mind is still stuck on the image in my grasp. Still stuck on the novelty that I managed to find a remembrance for the boy who still at times questions if his memory is full of lies.

"I still cry about my family and somedays I can't even remember their faces."

I never even considered the possibility of finding a token of Peeta's departed family here. It never occurred to me, the potential finds in this box at my fingertips, that I could take home to my boyfriend. I never imagined finding him something to hold onto when the inevitable dark day came again like a storm cloud, full of thunder.

I'm so entranced what this could mean for Peeta, so lost in my own little world, that I'm barely even hanging onto the ladder. I'm definitely not as steady as I should be, standing near the top rung.

And I'm definitely not steady enough to hang on when Delly gives it a rough shake, trying to catch my attention.

The boxes break my fall. Sort of. Kanon and Leaf John had taken the liberty of placing the empty cardboard, already looked through and emptied, beneath the ladder.

Falling headfirst into a large, void box is better than falling plainly onto the filthy, concrete tile floor. But not ideal. Not as helpful as falling into a box of surviving clothes or toys would have been.

Delly apologized profusely for shaking the ladder. She'd even begun to cry when she noticed the blood seeping from my forehead.

Thankfully Kanon was there, as I didn't have the energy to console her much. I don't even know how I managed to cut my head at all, but it stung a fair amount and it provided me the excuse I wanted minutes prior, to escape the group project and head for the bakery.

Even after the fall, my mind still was cemented on the newfound treasure. My first instinct was still to show this memento to Peeta as soon as possible.

Kanon though, like a good friend, insisted on walking me home, despite my many protests that it was unnecessary, that I was just fine, that I could walk home blind if I had to. He insisted, foiling my intention to walk directly to the bakery and not wait for Peeta's return home, which still remained hours away.

Kanon was surprisingly stubborn when he felt strongly about something and I chose to relent, to give in and allow him to accompany me back to what used to be Victor's Village—where he now resided with Delly, inside Peeta's old home—without much fight.

Fighting for your independence and autonomy doesn't exactly present you as rational when there's a bloody gash in your forehead.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Kanon asks as we make out way up my porch.

I look up, maybe a little startled, from Mr. and Mrs. Mellark's wedding photo. "My head?"

"Yeah," he says carefully, looking at the blood like it's a mutt in an arena.

I shrug, doing my best not to indicate how dizzy I actually feel. Either from the fall or the blood still dripping out despite my attempt to plug the wound up with old cotton rags someone sorted into the trash box. "I've had worse."

He chuckles, a little sardonically. "Yeah, so have I."

I thank him for walking me home—for it was as inconvenient as it was sweet—and close the door slowly behind me, before leaning my ear against the wooden frame, waiting. Waiting for him to climb the steps down from my porch and make his way back to the Justice Building. Waiting for him to be far enough out of sight that I can sneak back out without him also trying to accompany me to the bakery.

It's not that I don't appreciate Kanon and Delly and all of my other friends' concerns. It's the fact that I wish to bestow a likely loaded item upon my boyfriend and I really don't need an audience to do it.

It's not the easiest feat, to slyly time it so Kanon won't hear me opening and shutting my front door again. And it's probably not my smartest plan, to walk alone along the rocky cobblestones and the uneven concrete, with a less than level head and body.

But I make it to the back door of the bakery still, just as I knew I would. It takes three times as long, but I make it there nonetheless.

Still clutching the photograph of his parents between my fingers too. Still with the same primary focus on my mind. To give him a token of remembrance, a token of the imperfect family he lost so tragically, that he still greatly missed, even when he can't say their names. Even when he can't conjure up their faces.

"You don't remember your family?"

"Sometimes I do... I'm not so sure other days. My memory isn't exactly top notch, if you know what I mean."

I push open the heavy-weighted back door, using all the energy my body can muster up. To my relief, Thom is already in the back room, sweeping flour off the floor.

"Hi, boss," he greets slyly as I walk in, barely glancing up at me. I shoot him an over-the-top eye roll, though I can't help smirking myself at the stupid nickname, when he beckons Peeta. "Hey, your girl is here!" He yells loudly. Too loudly to be packed with customers at the counter.

I take that to mean the daily rush has come and gone. Which would be very convenient, as it means I can present Peeta with my finding that much faster, without having to worry about his business—or our business, as he teasingly calls it—being held up.

I hear the sound of my boyfriend's quiet laughter from the front. The sound that I akin to my father's singing or my sister's squeal of delight. The last sound still alive that can make my heart do a flip.

But it dies out the second he peaks his blonde head into the back room. The moment his baby blues, the same color as both his parents', meet my silver ones and then trail upwards.

Almost as if remembering the gash in my head, I reach to my forehead, to ensure the makeshift cloth bandage is still in place.

"Katniss?" Peeta says, his eyes looking far more nervous than I anticipated. Which I can only take to mean the red liquid has seeped through the plain fabric. "Is that blood?"

I don't want him to focus too heavily on that fact though. Like I told Kanon, I've had much worse injuries in my life. Me and Peeta both have.

Just look at his prosthetic leg.

"Yes," I reply easily, before moving closer to him, pushing the glossy photograph towards him. "But that doesn't matter right now. What does matter is-"

"You are literally bleeding."

I sigh, feeling slightly perturbed now. "Peeta, look," I insist, thrusting the image of his parents towards him, waiting for it to take anchor.

And it does. It takes a beat longer than I expect, but it happens nonetheless. I watch silently as the image captives him, as the shiny photograph takes him back to a time when this exact location was the only home he'd ever known and this business was run by the two people inside the picture.

He touches the photo, as if to test it's realism, before looking up at me in disbelief. "Where did you find this?"

"The Justice Building today. Inside the boxes, with all the things lost in the bombing."

There's a long pause as Peeta process this. The silence makes me antsy, finding myself abruptly uncertain of what could be going through his mind.

Finally, he whispers softly, "I never thought I'd see this picture again."

And the awed, tender smile that spreads across his face swiftly encompasses me in its warmth.

And I suddenly don't even feel the gash in my head anymore.

Read The Rest On AO3

#everlark #thg #the hunger games #everlark fics #fanfic #everlark fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #play with me 🥰

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browneyeddevil · 4 years ago

Note

Hunger Games prompt?: if Katniss and peeta had a happy district 13 reunion (no hijacking)

Hello anon! I am sorry it has taken me so long to get to this, but here it is. I did my best with it, and I hope you enjoy!

(Some things have been lifted directly from Mockingjay, obviously they do not belong to me).

Peeta.

Alive and well - maybe not well but alive and here. Away from Snow. Safe. Here. With me. In a minute I can touch him. See his smile. Hear his laugh.

Haymitch’s grinning at me. “Come on then,” he says. I’m lightheaded with giddiness. What will I say? Oh, who cares what I say? Peeta will be ecstatic no matter what I do. He’ll probably be kissing me anyway. I wonder if it will feel like those last kisses on the beach in the arena, the ones I haven’t dared let myself consider until this moment.

My heart pounds against my chest unnaturally fast, as I walk swiftly past the bustling nurses and doctors. Undeterred by the chaos around me. I can feel Haymitch keeping pace only a few steps behind me, but we don’t talk. I find that I only have one goal, the same one that I had in those last fateful minutes in the arena. To get to Peeta. To make sure that he is safe. To protect him at all costs.

He’s already awake when I sweep into the room, looking bewildered as a trio of doctors surround him. Reassuring him as they poke and prod him, shining lights into his eyes. I would have liked to be there when he woke up, to have been the first face he saw upon awakening, but he sees me now. I watch as his eyes widen in shock and disbelief. He makes to get up, but the doctors, albeit gently, push him back down. A look from one of the nurses at hand tells me that I have to behave myself if I want to stay in the room, they don’t care if I’m the Mockingjay or if we’re the star-crossed lovers from Twelve. They have procedures to get through, and they won’t hesitate to throw me out of the room if I’m getting in the way.

I allow myself to take him in, there are dark bruises under his eyes - from lack of sleep I imagine - and his chest falls and rises with each intake of breath. I can see the bones protruding in his hands, those capable and strong hands whittled away to only skin and bone. Haymitch comes up behind me with a chair, and I hear myself laugh. Not because I find any of this particularly funny. But because of how absurd and bizarre this situation is. Peeta is finally here, and I can see him, almost touch him. Almost. But I am expected to sit, and wait patiently for my turn.

Somehow I manage to do it though, I sit and wait on the hard plastic of the chair. Haymitch fidgets beside me. But I only sit and stare watching every move of the doctors, baring witness to every wince and flinch. I hear questions being asked of him, “Can you feel this?” “Does it hurt when I do this?” “How about here?”, but it is muffled behind the sound of blood rushing in my ears. He looks over at me a few times, and each time he looks just as shocked as the first time. As if he cannot believe I am actually sitting here. I can’t believe I’m sitting here, every part of me is itching to shove the doctors aside, and tend to him myself. I’ve done it before. But I know that doing so would only delay our reunion.

So, I sit and I wait, until at long last the doctors leave the room. The door is left open, and I can hear the chaos outside. Inside the room, however, there is complete still. Time seems to have stopped, or at least slowed, because for a second it is only the three of us in the room staring at each other. Breathing in each other's presence. And then the spell breaks. I am the first to lunge off my seat, knocking it backwards to the floor. He’s sitting at the edge of his bed, and before I can even fathom what has happened, I have wrapped myself around him. My arms are like a vice around him, and I’ve buried my face into the crook of his neck. I think I might be crying, I feel a dampness on my cheeks. My mind is racing at a mile a minute, and I wish it would slow down. If only for a moment, so that I could at least make an attempt to take all of this in. But all I can comprehend is the surreality of the moment.

I manage to laugh through my tears when he says, “Easy there, I’m a little fragile.”

The familiar timber of his voice is what breaks through the haze in my brain, and I realise that I am hurting him, even if he’s making light of it. I back off immediately, taking a few steps back and wiping my eyes, embarrassed at how I’ve lost my cool so easily. I hear Haymitch chuckle from behind me. He says he’ll be back later, and I watch as he leaves the room.

It is only us now, though for how long I do not know, the beeping of monitors the only thing keeping us company. Peeta reaches out for me, and this time I venture forth with more caution. As soon as I reach him though, he pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me in a bone crushing hug. I stand taller than him with him sitting on the bed, and even more so when he lowers his head. He talks into my ribs, and I hear only singular words from his murmurings and mutterings. I don’t care though. I busy myself with stroking through his matted hair. Tangling through the nots. It’s soothing. I’m not sure how long we stay like this, but it feels like hours have passed before Peeta raises his head. I look down, and our eyes meet. Blue on gray. I’m transfixed by his, they look tired, exhausted even, but I can see the elation in them too. The stupid kind of happiness, that make one want to laugh and cry at the same time.

“I’m so sorry, Peeta,” I whisper, biting my lip to stifle a sob, “So, so sorry.”

He shakes his head at me, “Don’t apologise, you are not to blame.”

“But I am, I swore that I would protect you,” my voice breaks, “I swore.”

Peeta only shakes his head again, but I can’t stop talking. I gasp for air under the weight of it all, the tears already starting to fall, “I should have stayed with you, should have forced the others to let us go, should have left earlier in the day.”

I’m on the edge of hysteria, and I’m kicking myself for it. I take a deep breath, and manage to calm myself, if only by a thin thread.

“It isn’t your fault,” Peeta reiterates, his voice earnest.

The beeping of the monitors is once again the only thing making noise in this room, and the steady sound of it reminds me of the ticking of a clock. I guess it’s Peeta’s clock. The one that lets me know he is in fact alive. Tik tok, it goes. Steady, and controlled, whereas mine is beating frantically in my chest. Tik tok. I smile a little, and even though he doesn’t know why I’m smiling he smiles back at me. I think I might want to kiss him. The thought feels like a stranger in my head, I’ve never really wanted to kiss him without a camera there to make it count. Except for the two times I did, but then again those were for the cameras. For the Capitol, and the sponsors.

I lean towards him a little, experimentally. It feels right. Natural. Like this is the right thing to do. Not because it’s expected, but because maybe, just maybe, I want to. I want to kiss him like I did on the beach, or in the cave. I survey his face, he looks a little confused. Which is just as well, because I am too. I’ve done this about a million times with him before, but for some reason I cannot figure out what to do next. My face is hovering a good ten centimetres away from his face, and I wonder if I should ask him first. My cheeks redden at the mere thought of it. Either way, it’s Peeta, I don’t think he’ll mind if I kiss him. Will he?

I cup his cheek in my hand, and decide to just go for it. I press my lips to his, and stay there for a second, but he does not respond. I pull away, ready to apologise and make my way from the room, never to be seen again. But when I raise my head I am met only with his stunned expression. I can feel it. This is a tipping point for us. He tilts his head in question, and I nod. It is in that one motion that everything shifts, the entirety of the construct of our relationship up until this point changes paths. It is as if the floodgates have opened. He pulls my head back down to his, meeting my lips in impassioned desperate frenzy. I have almost no clue as to what I am doing, so I let him take the lead. He nibbles and bites and sucks on my lips. When he runs his tongue along the seam of my lips I gasp a little, we’ve never really done that before. Through my gasp my mouth has opened a little, and he takes it as invitation, slipping his tongue into my mouth. We’ve only ever done this a few times, and it feels just as strange as the first times. But I can’t deny that it awakens something within me, something that has been lying dormant since his capture.

It isn’t long before all coherent thoughts are carried away in the wind, at some point I crawl onto his lap, straddling him. In the back of my mind a little voice reminds me to be careful, I might be too heavy for him, but if I am Peeta does anything but show it. He holds me to him with one hand, the other tangled up in my hair. I cradle his face with my own, and all we do is kiss. Kiss to make up for lost time, and botched plans. Kiss because we might as well. Kiss because we need to remind each other that we’re here. Truly and really here with each other.

We kiss until our lips are red and swollen, and even then I want more. Crave it, even. But I can tell that our time alone is probably coming to an end, the doctors will want to come and check up on him again, and I know that Haymitch will want to speak to him. I press my forehead to his, breathing heavily, smiling despite myself.

“I should stay away more often, if that’s the sort of welcome I get,” Peeta teases, eyes still dark with desire, but twinkling up at me.

“Don’t you dare,” I tell him, holding onto him all the more tighter for it.

Peeta begins to laugh, and I smile a little at how it sounds. I missed that.

“Together?” Peeta asks, sobering, and I’m reminded of all the things that are still expected of me, and perhaps even us now.

My heart rate quickens, but Peeta’s hand finds mine and squeezes it reassuringly. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough.

I nod my head at him, “Together,” I whisper. Maybe, if the odds are in our favour, we can get through this, together.

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posthungergamessyndrome · 4 years ago

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so here’s my long overdue review of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes that no one asked for. I finally read the book, well listened to the audiobook, coz i dunno how to read a book anymore.

This book was everything I expected it to be and also not. Definitely the first two parts was easily predictable, we all kinda assumed that was the general arc that story would take. So while I found the first two parts enjoyable, learning more about the history of the games and learn more of Capitol, i wasn’t really hooked until the third part.

But let me say this first tho, Ms. Suzanne Collins, you never disappoint. Also I have questions and I hate that she wasn’t able to go on a book tour (I haven’t read her Q&A tho).

I still have the same qualms as i did about the prequel as i did before I read it. While I get the early records of the games were shoddy, and the 10th Hunger Games was erased but for one copy hidden in some vault, that doesn’t matter, what matter is Snow knows.

So If Snow had that relationship with the Games and Lucy, the first victor of d12, a lot of the decisions he made in the trilogy made no sense.

I get it, he wanted to forget, it’s decades until Katniss came along. While there might be parallels, Lucy and Katniss are very different characters. But all I can think off is the reason he didn’t kill Katniss sooner, was it really because she would end up a martyr or rallying cry for the district, which happened anyways, or he was practically disassociating the moment Katniss was reaped?

Were Katniss and Peeta unintentionally triggers to so many of his hidden traumas that’s why he made so many misteps? Katniss singing the meadow song to Rue, triggered. Peeta mentioning the Valley song, triggered. Mockingjay, triggered. The Hanging Tree, triggered.

Was he so busy crying in the shower that he wasn’t able to stop Seneca Crane from making bad calls during the 74th Games? Two winners from the same district, would Snow really okay’d that himself?

And also, I’ve always thought that anything he did towards Peeta was coz he wanted to hurt Katniss. But no, he wanted to hurt that boy. Peeta reminds him of his young self, at least the young person everyone saw him as, charming, smart, and loyal. And in a way, had Peeta been born in the Capitol and was among Snow’s contemporaries, Snow would have seen him as his ultimate rival.

Coz Snow was smart and knows how to manipulate people, but Peeta does it a lot better and a lot more successfully. With Snow, it’s right in front of his face and he still misses it. Often he is so close to getting it. How could he not have thought of the star-crossed lovers angle? How?? When one Peeta Mellark thought of it?

Which idk if there’s fanfics of that yet, but I need to read them asap, Katniss and Peeta and teen Snow, make it happen.

(But I was looking at my notes and I wrote probably the reason Snow didn’t think of the star crossed lovers angle because it was about his survival not about Lucy’s. Lucy was at best, seen as his possession. Even at the moments he was honestly in love with her, he still saw her as someone belonging to him only. )

Snow had two relationships going on: with Sejanus and with Lucy. I did find his relationship with Sejanus more interesting, because I think it’s that relationship that shaped him more that his relationship with Lucy.

I did like and even at some points enjoyed their Slytherin-Hufflepuff BFFship going on, coz despite how Snow let us know what he really thinks versus what he actually says, he was drawn to protect Sejanus, even though he’s reluctant about it or insist that he was made to do it or it’s also to benefit himself.

And I’m not saying there’s queerbaiting in this book, but certain pairings in this book makes more sense to ship than Johanna and Katniss.

With Lucy, i know many were wary or didn’t want Snow to have a relationship with her. For me i was open to it, at least intrigued to see where it will go or how will it be handled.

Honestly while it is still better written than most YA romances, I found it very insta-love. Again, my sense of timeline in this novel might be different coz I was listening to the audiobook instead of reading it, but they fell in love pretty quick.

While listening to the audiobook, i thought, if their relationship is at this point it must have been weeks since the reaping and the games haven’t started yet, and then Snow says it’s just been five days. They were making out I think by day 3 or something.

Maybe because I knew they relationship was doomed from the start and we know how Snow ends up, I was amused by certain moments in their relationship, coz all I can think about it is, oh honey no.

but also, I am mad that Ms. Collins is capable of writing amazing fluff moments in the midst of a dystopian world, and she wastes them on Snow and Lucy? Where was all that for Katniss and Peeta? i was given crumbs in the trilogy, Snow and Lucy made out so many times, at one point I even thought they were going to sleep together, like how dare you Ms. Collins.

For the many years we debated the meaning behind The Hanging Tree, Ms Collins, said no hun, this is what the songs means, let me tell you it’s origin story. And omg Suzanne, that was fucked up. Thanks.

One of the things I was worried about for this prequel is that while it is set in the future, the messages in it will seem outdated because a lot has changed since the trilogy came out.

But she wrote this book well before it was announced in 2019, before it was released in 2020, but she still made it very relevant for today and I think the messaging of this prequel would be more resonant in the future, like the trilogy is.

She touched upon how we really value children, and that immediately reminded me of school mass shootings and how we haven’t done anything about it. She lives in Sandy Hook when the shooting happened so this makes sense she makes a statement about it. And now we are sending kids to school in a middle of a pandemic for political reasons not because we are concerned about their education.

And there’s also mentions of a pandemic in a middle of a war, let’s say it was a whole mental experience alternating between listening to the audiobook and watching the news on January 6.

I also loved the lines: “why do people think the only thing they need for a revolution is anger?” and “we pour money into industries not people.”

While it’s almost unbelievable that the modern hunger games was merely a student group project by a bunch of privileged rich kids and one person who thinks slavery is okay ended up writing the whole thing anyways, that’s basically how this country and our system of governance was founded.

Dr. Gaul is also every Security and Development professor I had in grad school who teaches that war never ends and it’s not about winning it’s about control to a class of future leaders at the state department, white house, and pentagon. i mean, it’s the cornerstone of US foreign policy since end of WW2.

While also listening to this book, I am dead sure that Suzanne could write a different version of Catching Fire where Katniss and Peeta were mentors and they uncover the hidden 10 hunger games tape, and it still will be a be hella of a story.

It also makes sense that the two characters that could possibly tell us or Katniss the connection of Snow to Lucy were the ones who can’t talk: Mags and Tigris.

obviously lucy ended up in 13, possibly related to Alma Coin coz where else will she get that personal hatred against Snow?

Snow could have at least picked Clemensia or Lys, but Livia? i guess make sense since her offspring ended up being Plutarch’s assistant.

I feel like if i read the prequel before the trilogy, it would be a different reading experience. But at the same time, Snow, while he had his moments, is an unlikeable character even as an anti-hero, and his moral stand point is something i dont agree with, coz you know, he’s basically a republican. it’s like reading a book about a young Mitch McConnell, doesn’t matter if the system hurt him sometimes, as long as it hurts others more and keeps him in control, and i gag. I don’t think i would finish reading the prequel if i started with it instead of the trilogy.

but it does solidifies my theory that Snow’s evil is not because he is out of touch with the rest of panem, he knows suffering that’s why he knows how to exploit it. He is not oblivious to the problems, but he arrived at different conclusions or convictions, because again he supports the system that controls his enemies, even if the system is cruel to him too. Again, a Republican. Don’t be one, don’t date one.

I do wonder tho if he made good with champagne tuesdays when he became president.

I don’t see how this prequel works as a movie adaptation tho, even if turned into three parts. It makes more sense for it to be a series, so if lionsgate hasn’t declared bankruptcy before they can adapt this into screen, maybe with the state of movies right now due to the pandemic, they will be more convinced to make this into a series for Netflix or to launch their own streaming service.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #the hunger games

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aila-reads-stuff · 4 years ago

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Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

The Huge Divide

What really boggles me the most with Hunger Games is that it really accentuates the huge divide between the working class and the rich people.

It's absurd that each district works to provide the elite class their needs. The coals, the fisheries, those kinds of stuff and yet what do they get in return? A tribute that is essentially just a sacrifice for the sole entertainment of the rich.

A sick, twisted way of instilling fear to people.

People from the different districts sleeps in rough beds, hunts for additional money and food, and is too busy trying to survive to care about fashion. Yet, here are the rich people with their high-tech rooms, scrumptious meals, and with their lavish and colorful clothing. They even have a pill to help you throw up so that you could fill your bellies with more food during parties.

I feel like the fashion of the rich classes is a huge statement. You wouldn't bother about being fashionable if you're still worrying about what and how you're going to eat your next meal; Yet with the presence of their extravagant clothings, it implies and emphasises that they don't worry about those things and is more bothered if their colored hair matches with their clothes or if their accesory complements their body. It's a privilege and a leisure that the working class (the districts) do not get to have.

Government

Evil.

That's the word the encapsulates its government.

Evil in a way that treats the common masses as slaves to them.

Evil in a way that it will do any form of violencevto oppress people furthermore-- to instill fear more to people in hopes of lessening or even eradiating dissent.

And I hate that this kind of concept is still reminiscent to my country's type of government.

Hates dissent so much that they're very willing to kill an old man for whistling.

Katniss is right, the government is too fragile that it was broken for a couple of berries.

Mockingjay's Ending

I know I’m supposed. to be happy with how Mockingjay ended because Katniss and Peeta essentially had a good. ending. They had kids. They live peacefully now. But I just can’t get this one thing out of my head: The capitol cannot give back the childhod, the lives of the tributes, their loved ones. They can never reverse the scar that they left on Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, Johanna, and every person in the district.

Yes, Katniss can sleep peacefully now but nightmares of the past will still contiue to haunt her. But atleast, she got Peeta and now their children by her side to cuddle with when the nightmares get too scary.

Other Hunger Games Tribute

Although I do love Katniss, I often wonder while reading the lives of the other tributes. Finnick and Johanna and even the morphlings were the characters that I was fascinated so much.

Johanna Mason

Johanna because she went through so much hardships that it's already so hard for her to form new relationships. Her individuality almost torn apart that the act of Katniss giving her a few bundle of lumber made her cry because that's the only personal belonging that she had.

Her being ferocious was the only thing that the capitol couldn't almost take away from her. Almost. Imagine not being able to shower for the memories of being electrocuted comes with it. She was supposed to be fierce, yet she trembles at the sight of a harmless rain. What's worse is that she has no family to share these with.

Finnick Odair

The great heart breaker of District 4. Only 14 when he won the 65th Hunger Games. Desired by many, especially the capitol. But desire is not always a good thing. Because of this, despite being a victor, he did not live as one. What kind of "victor" does not even have any autonomy with his body? At only age 16 he was sold by Snow to different Capitol citizens to be a prostitute. Known as the heart breaker, yet little do they know that these so called lovers were nothing but mere customers. Not exactly what a 16 year old should have gone through.

But even all of that, atleast he still managed to create meaningful relationships with having Katniss, Johanna, and Mags, her mentor, as his life-long friends. Also, especially Annie. I was so happy for him when he got married with Annie because she was his life. That's why it was so heartbreaking when he died near the end.

[ Although it wasn't in the books, the scene where Annie wrote Peeta and Katniss a letter and a picture with their son, I absolutely loved it. Also because in the books you don't have the answer as to what happens to the other characters ]

Haymitch Abernathy

Winner of the 2nd Quarter Quell by taking advantage of the forcefield, thus making the capitol look like idiots. A guy who spent so much time trying to numb all the pain that the capitol has given him by dinking himself to waste. Having the annual trauma of being close to the yearly tributes only to be looking at their brutal death on large screens.

I know that all these characters are fictional and therefore their pain is not real, but I if I could I would give all of them a huge warm hug. (Mainly maybe for my sake because reading all those storied definitely hurt)

[ALSOO

They were not accentuated much in the books, but the tongueless Avoxes were also really interesting. Pollux 😭]

#book review #books #hungergames #hunger games #finnick odair #johanna mason #katniss everdeen #haymitch abernathy #catching fire #mocking jay #too much feels man #revolution #suzanne collins

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jlalafics · 4 years ago

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“Lesson Learned”-Part 2 of ?

Wow! Your support is amazing!

And, I’m still not sure when this will end, but it’s possibly...4?

Anyway, enjoy this next part.

Summary: Sometimes Katniss asks too much of Peeta. This time she’s gone too far. College Everlark. Katniss and Peeta POV’s. Rated M.

If you’re catching up, you’ll find Part One here.

_____

This is it.

Peeta steps in into the living room, his eyes on me in my robe.

I spent the day getting ready—waxing, showering, exfoliating places on my body that I had no idea existed. Johanna has already left for the weekend, before going she wished me luck and told me to remember to pee…after.

“Why?” I had asked.

“Nothing is worst than getting a UTI after your first time,” Johanna informed. “Trust me, I know.”

“Duly noted.”

So that’s all I know so far about intercourse, you must urinate after.

“Katniss?” My eyes go to the man standing in front of me. “You okay?”

I smile, trying to shake myself from my stupor. “Uh, yeah why?”

“Since I’ve been here, you’ve just been staring into space,” Peeta replies, his eyes full of concern. “We don’t have to do this.”

That brings me back to reality quickly.

“No.” I look to him, stomping my foot firmly. “We are doing this…now clothes off.”

Peeta raises his hands up. “Slow down.” He peers at me. “Why are you in such a rush?”

“Because…” I sit down on the couch. Peeta follows sitting next to me. “…I don’t like dealing with pain.”

And I just don’t mean the physical pain of when he’ll break my hymen.

Last night, I thought of what this could mean for Peeta and I.

Would it be weird after? Would it change how he sees me? Or the way I see him?

I just don’t want us to fall apart, because the thought of that is what hurts the most.

His hand reaches to cup my cheek. “Pain happens, sweetheart, but its momentary.”

“Where did you hear that from?” I ask him, a smile gracing my lips.

“Finnick keeps one of those Five-Minute Journals in the apartment to impress his girlfriend, Annie; there’s always a quote at the top of each day, I think that was one of them,” Peeta says. “Or I made it up.”

I punch him in the arm. “You idiot!”

The tension has broken, and we are laughing as we usually do.

We sit back on my sofa, heads together and feet up on the coffee table.

“Promise me something,” I start. “Promise me that—throughout all of this—you tell me everything good and bad about anything I do.”

“I promise,” he replies. “You do the same.”

“Promise,” I whisper. “Now…can I try to kiss you?”

Peeta swallows nervously, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he does. “Okay.”

I shift, sitting up and look down at him. His blue eyes stare up at me fascinated, and my hand reaches to run through his golden hair. It’s a little matted by the pomade he used, but the scent is nice, juniper and sage.

Leaning down, I line my mouth to his and pillow his bottom lip between mine—it’s surprisingly smooth. Peeta opens up slightly and my tongue moves in, tasting and enjoying the mint of his mouthwash.

So far it’s…okay. He tastes good, but his kiss is…muted. Like he’s just following along with my enthusiasm.

I pull away abruptly. “What the hell was that?”

He’s breathless, his chest heaving as he sits up. “What do you mean?”

“The lackluster kissing!” I reply crossly. “You’re not really this bad, are you?”

“I am not! Call any one of my exes and ask!” he protests.

“No way am I calling 1 of your 2 girlfriends. I’m sure Delly Cartwright wouldn’t give me any conducive commentary on your kissing technique, anyway.”

“You want commentary?” he bristles. “Stop with the tongue jabbing! My whole jaw is painted with your saliva. I mean I enjoy enthusiasm, but not that much!”

Taking a deep breath, I take in his words. I wanted honesty—and I’m getting it.

Then again, at least I’m getting it from someone I trust.

“Fair enough,” I reply. “But you’re a bit of a dry kisser if we’re trading notes.”

Peeta nods. “Alright. Point taken.” He moves closer to me. “Let’s try again.”

“I’ll pull back and you take a little initiative,” I agree.

This time, Peeta tilts my head gently. “Close your eyes.”

I comply, closing my eyes, feeling his warm breath ghosting my lips.

When he finally presses his lips to mine, I open my mouth just slightly, biting down my instinct to thrust my tongue to taste. In turn, Peeta slants into the kiss, his own tongue sweeps artfully inside my mouth to taste it hungrily.

A moan escapes from between us and I’m not too sure who did it.

Pulling apart, I’m embarrassed realizing somehow, I’ve wrapped my arms around his neck and I’m sitting halfway on his lap.

I move off him. “Sorry.”

“No, that was better!” he exclaims.

I beam at his praise, wetness suddenly between my thighs and I feel my face warm. “Um…”

Peeta gives me an encouraging smile. “Honesty, remember?”

I got a little wet when you told me that,” I admit.

More than a little wet, actually.

His eyes flare at my words.

“I’ll remember that,” he says tightly. “For later.”

I nod, my stomach flipping at the thought. “For later.”

“Now,” Peeta starts, his hand going to the belt around my waist as I stand before him. “May I?”

I nod. “Please.”

Slowly, he undoes the belt, letting the robe fall to the ground.

++++++

“What the fuck is that?”

The words leave my mouth without the thought.

Because Katniss is standing in front of me in a pair of cotton panties (it’s Friday and they’re her Wednesday pair, according to the print covering her mons)—and a sports bra.

A fucking sports bra.

“It’s my underwear,” she informs me. “Johanna said that I should be comfortable and make you work for it.”

“Do you have anything lacy?” Katniss shakes her head. “Maybe something with that see-through mesh fabric?” Another shake. “How about something cotton with a little bit of push-up?” She shrugs. “Katniss, love, I know you want me to work for it, but that—" I wave my hand at the black bra with thick straps and round neck. “—is a fortress.

“Well, I like it!” Katniss protests. “And I think it’s…attractive.”

“Fine. Take that off—seductively,” I counter as I rest back on the couch.

Katniss stands in front of me and reaches to pull it over her head—wow, she has great nipples—and there’s a bit of struggle before she reveals her flushed face.

She’s panting by the time the monstrosity is in front of my feet and practically hyperventilating at the exertion. “There.”

“Not even close,” I snort, and I see her face fall. “But really—” I wave my hand at her chest. “—why are you hiding those?”

Gleefully, Katniss cups her breast and I bite back my groan. “Really? You like them?”

Her breasts are round and full, shaped like teardrops with nipples that are a dusky rose. They look like they have some bounce of them and that perverted part of me imagines them jiggle mid-thrust. My eyes draw down to her bottom half—my mind was purely focus on her breasts that I didn’t even notice she took her panties off—where neatly trimmed hair covers her center.

“Without trying to sound like a complete pervert, they’re the kind of tits that I’d want to smother my face in.”

The image of me motorboating those glorious breasts flashes in my mind and I go completely hard.

Katniss blushes. “Well, thank you.” She clears her throat. “Your turn.”

++++++

I’m sitting naked on my couch.

Should I put a towel underneath? Johanna and I never really talked about the logistics of whether we allowed sex in the public parts of our apartment. However, something also tells me that if there was a rule, she’s broken it many times over.

Gross.

Expectantly, I wait for Peeta to begin removing his clothes and primly place my hands on my lap.

“So, did you want me to do this slowly or just get naked?” he asks, his face red.

“How did you do it with other girls?” I reply.

The thought of him with other girls causes a twinge to my chest. I know he’s not mine, but I always felt a little bit of him belonged to me. The thought that one day, another woman will take my place makes my stomach turn uncomfortably.

“I…uh…guess I’ll go slow.”

Peeta reaches to the hem of his grey t-shirt pulling it up, slowing revealing a firm abdomen and smooth skin. He tosses it down to the carpet to join my clothes before slowly reaching to the button of his jeans.

I swear my breath catches when I see that single button undone.

His fingers drag down the zipper and before I know, his hands go to the sides of his jeans to yank them down.

“Good so far?” he asks.

I’m sure he knows this dumb, slack-jaw impression is because I am totally into it. Trying not to look too eager, I nod, and he toes off his sneakers before stepping out of the pile.

Peeta is wearing white boxer briefs; I can see the outline of his cock against the stretchy fabric.

“Take them off.” My voice, desperate and breathy, doesn’t even sound like me. “Please.”

Grabbing hold of the waist, Peeta slowly moves his boxer-briefs down to his ankles before pushing them off to join the other discarded clothes.

There it is—Peeta Mellark’s penis—just staring straight at me.

“Hmm…” It looks normal, not like I’ve seen many penises before, but I imagine that this is pretty standard in terms of cocks. “It looks…friendly.”

“Friendly?” Peeta looks amused. “Like Mr. Rogers friendly or friendly like you wave to it, but never go into personal stuff?”

“Don’t worry, Peeta,” I assure him. “You have a very friendly neighborhood kind of penis.”

I kneel to look at it more in depth. It looks like it matches his skin tone (does that matter?) and there’s a smattering of pubic hair before his testicles. I’ve always been interested in this part, usually it’s all dick but I feel like I shouldn’t neglect his southern neighbors.

“Tell me.” My hand reaches to one testicle and Peeta hisses sharply. “Are balls important to most men?”

“In terms of human reproduction, they’re very important,” he starts. “I mean I wouldn’t exactly protest if someone was fondling them—or had them in their mouth.”

“Mouth?” I look up at him, my hand still moving along the flesh, trying different pressures to see if his reaction changes. “How does that work?”

Peeta shrugs. “Probably the same way it would be…if I were sucking on your—” His eyes dart down to where I kneel, focusing on my breasts. “I imagine it’s like that.”

For all the bitching he did about my sports bra, he really does like my boobs.

Moving my hand off, my eyes go to his cock which is now flaccid.

“I mentally had to calm down,” he says when I look up at him.

“Do they all look like this when they’re not hard? He’s just hanging there…kind of lazy looking of you ask me,” I tease.

“If you look at any flaccid penis on the internet, I guarantee it looks exactly like this!” he argues.

“Really?” I reach for my phone on the coffee table and finding my search app, I quickly type. “Flaccid penis…”

Peeta snorts. “You’re seriously looking?”

Going to the image tab, I find one and look it over, comparing it to the one in front of me.

They do look the same…I’ll admit Peeta’s is nicer.

“I guess you’re right,” I say. “Though I wonder how you know what other flaccid penises look like.”

“Gym class…I have brothers…Finnick is not at all particular about being naked in our apartment,” Peeta informs me. “Almost got him kicked out once.”

“He and Johanna should meet,” I tell him. “They seem like they would get along. She’s not one for caring about nudity too.”

We lapse into silence.

His penis is still right in front of me and curiously my hand reaches to hold it. The surrounding skin is surprisingly soft, and the head does look like a mushroom. I’ve read some erotica (Johanna keeps a stocked collection in her room) and they all pretty much talk about the head—must be pretty important, if it’s being mention.

Peeta speaks first. “Do you have questions?” he asks hoarsely.

I smile to myself remembering that he used to sound like that when he was going through puberty, slightly cracked with the beginning tones of the deep timbre he has now.

“Yeah.”

I stand up and look into his eyes. They’re safe and warm.

For a moment, I fancy myself in love with Peeta.

“How do I get it hard again?”

#Lesson Learned #Part Two #college!Everlark #Everlark Fanfiction #Everlark

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ilguna · 4 years ago

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Metanoia - Chapter Eighteen (f.o)

Summary: you will be crowned victor of the 75th hunger games.

Word Count; 2.4k

Warnings; swearing, meanery

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

You pace in front of the windows, staring out into the city. Every now and then, you’ll stop because you forget what you were doing, but then you quickly make up for the lost time.

There’s nothing really peculiar about the city that you’re looking at. Just staring at the Capitol is enough to make you blank out.. With how their buildings are shaped, placed and constantly refurbished. You’d think that they would be done at some point, but they’re always implementing their newest technology.

Take the whole Tribute Center as an example.

You pause your movement again, placing your hand on the glass as you stare at the building. It’s the tallest, in the heart of the city. And it holds nothing but grievances. You wonder if Coin will bother to burn it down, or if she’ll keep it.

If she doesn’t burn it down, you will. Right along with all the other apartment complexes and houses that discomfort you. You’ll make the Capitol your home, one way or another. It all starts with getting rid of all those places that you’d had to visit in your teen years.

How will arson be for refurbishing?

“Miss Rosecelli, you can sit--”

You look over your shoulder at Coin, who’s staring right at you. The two of you take a moment, and there must be something about your emotionless gaze that makes her drop it. Because her eyes drift downwards, and eventually away from you.

“She’s just nervous about the conversation she’ll be having with Finnick later today.” Johanna says, clicking a pen on the table, “About whether or not they’re gonna be a couple.”

Peeta looks at Johanna, you roll your eyes, Annie shifts uncomfortably in her chair.

You cross your arms, pursing your lips, “You’re a fucking bitch.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Johanna mutters.

“I could, but Finnick isn’t here to strap you down like last time.”

“That’s really rich, coming from the person who lost it on a peacekeeper.” Johanna snorts.

“Maybe that’s enough.” Haymitch says.

“Maybe?” you ask, turning around to see Johanna. Your face puckers up when you realize her back is to you, and taking the opportunity of a lifetime, in one swift motion you slap the back of her head on your way to your seat, at the other end of the table.

“You fucking--” her chair teeters from how hard she’s gotten up.

The door opens, and you look up to see that it’s Finnick.

“Good.” Peeta says, “Control your mutts.”

You turn a harsh eye to Peeta next, since you haven’t even passed him yet. And with the maturity of a middle schooler, you crack your knuckles right in his face.

“That’s fucking hilarious, considering you’re a Capitol bitch, yourself.”

Haymitch has had enough, and he doesn’t wait to see what Peeta does. He reaches over with one arm, yanking you away from the end of the table that you’re not welcome on anymore, considering the people. Johanna, Annie and Peeta. The only reason why you belong on the other side is because Beetee tolerates you and Haymitch doesn’t give a shit.

Or so you thought.

“Knock it off.” he warns.

“Go back to drinking your vodka-infused tea.” you hiss, going for the chair next to Peeta.

“What did I walk in on?” Finnick asks.

“A war zone, apparently.” Beetee has his glasses in hand, he rubs his face tiredly.

Finnick looks at you for a real answer, “What happened?”

“Johanna.” is all you answer, yanking out the chair as you sit on it.

“All I said was--” Johanna’s batting her eyelashes innocently.

“No one gives a shit about what you said.” you cut her off, “Shut the fuck up already.”

She clenches her jaw, giving you a nasty look. However, she doesn’t bother trying again. Finnick just places his hand on the back of your chair, and begins to talk to Peeta as if you didn’t just say the shit you did to any of them.

You cross your legs, and then your arms as you sink in your chair. You bite the inside of your lip and cheek, trying not to say anything that might get you in a deeper hole than you already are.

Although, it’s not like you’ll have to speak to any of the morons ever again after this. This meeting was required, Coin will crown herself as the next dictator later this evening, and then you’re free to choose a place to live. Beetee will likely stay in the Capitol--as for all the others, they’ll likely scatter.

Except for Finnick. He’s going to negotiate an agreement with you.

You told him simply; either you’re living in the Capitol with the rest of the circus, or you’re living so far off the grid that they’ll have to hunt you down for months just to find you.

And Finnick wants to live back in District Four. It’s where he was raised, and he finds comfort there. You can’t really blame him for it. You’d be going for District two, yourself if it weren’t for everything that has happened there. Victor’s village is a ghost town, and you found out the other day that not only are you the only surviving victor from two--your childhood home was burnt down.

So, if you go back to District Two, you’ll have to deal with the reconstruction of the main town, and buy yourself a freshly painted, picket-white-fence house. Or you can go to your fucking victor house that reeks like rotten food and spoiled milk.

However, if you don’t choose there, you can certainly start all the fucking way over in the Capitol. The only thing that would even slightly suggest your background are those apartment complexes. And the more you think about it, the more you’re beginning to consider burning them down.

Of course, you can’t touch the mansion. But everything else can go. They’re not a vital part of your history, and they certainly don’t deserve to continue to stand anymore.

As you’re staring around the room, Johanna catches your eye again because she’s staring straight at you. You’re about to roll your eyes and look away, but she mouths something.

Your eyes narrow, “Say it aloud.”

Finnick’s words falter and he looks down at you, “What?”

You ignore him, “Go on, say it Johanna.”

“What? Can’t read lips?” Johanna says.

“You’re a pussy.” you tell her, “If you can’t say it out loud, you’re a fucking pussy.”

“Is that right?” she grins.

You sneer, “You can enjoy yourself now, but the moment we leave the room, I’m going to fucking kill you.”

She snorts, “Yeah, right.”

You stand, slamming your hands against the table as you lean forward, “You want to see me actually lose it? Because this time I’ll do a lot more than smash your head against a fucking rock!”

“(Y/n).” Coin’s looking at you with wide eyes, “For your sake, I hope that’s an empty threat.”

“It wasn’t.” Finnick tells her, and then his attention is turned, “If you think that I’m going to stop her, you’re wrong.”

“It’s cute how you pretend to care about her, when she clearly doesn’t care about you.”

“Say that to all the times she saved my life on the way here.” Finnick tells her, “Sit, (Y/n), please.”

“I swear to god, Johanna. Say shit one more time and I’ll settle for killing you in here.” you sit back in the chair, elbows on the table as you clench and unclench your hand.

Right after, the door opens again. Everyone turns their gaze to who’s joined you all.

“What’s this?”

“The remaining victors, won’t you join us?” Coin asks, motioning to the table and the one single chair that’s open for Katniss. It’s right between Peeta and Haymitch.

It takes a moment, but she slowly makes her way around the table, taking her spot. Everyone else follows her lead, taking a seat in their chairs and their different poses.

You watch as Annie blankly stares at Finnick, until her eyes shift away once she realizes you’re watching.

“I have invited you all here for several reasons. But first, I have an announcement, I have taken the burden and the honor of declaring myself interim president of Panem.” Coin says.

Your eyes drag to her. You can’t say you’re surprised, you literally called it just a few minutes ago.

Haymitch coughs like he’s choking on his own spit, “Interim? Exactly, how long is that?”

“We have no way of knowing for certain. But it’s clear that the people are far too emotional right now to make a rational decision.”

“Maybe you should consider a council instead.” you suggest, but your voice is hollow, “Y’know, so you’re not taking this burden entirely?”

“We’ll plan an election when the time is right.” Coin says, indirectly answering your statement, “But I have called you all here for a far more important vote, a symbolic vote. This afternoon we will execute Snow. Hundreds of his accomplices also await their deaths, Capitol officials, peacekeepers, torturers, gamemakers.”

You bite the inside of your lip again, trying to bite your tongue. You want to criticize everything she says. There’s so many flaws, and the others have to see this too, right?

“But the danger is, once we begin the rebels won’t stop calling for retribution. Thirst for blood is a difficult urge to satisfy. So, I offer an alternative plan. Majority for may approve it, no one may abstain.” She says carefully, “My proposal is this; in lieu of these barbaric executions, we hold a symbolic hunger games.”

Haymitch slowly lowers his tea cup.

Silence fills the room instantly after. As well as the looks on the other’s faces. Mainly the horror that Annie expresses, the little smirk forming on Johanna’s face, and the deadpan look that Katniss hasn’t lifted since she sat down in her chair.

Then, Johanna starts laughing, “You want to have another hunger games with the Capitol’s children?”

You dig your fingernails into the skin on your thumb.

“You’re joking.” Peeta says.

Coin shakes her head, “Not in the slightest.”

Haymitch scoffs, “Is this Plutarch’s idea?”

“It was mine.” Coin says.

Johanna clicks her pen once or twice, the smile on her face growing.

“It balances the need for revenge,” Coin reasons, “With the least loss of human life. You may cast your votes.”

“No.” Peeta nearly overlaps her speaking, “No, obviously not, this is crazy.”

Johanna leans forward, “I think it’s more than fair. Snow’s got a granddaughter. I say yes.” She looks at Peeta after, like she’s trying to strike a nerve.

“Johanna has a point.” you say, which makes a lot of heads turn, but your eyes are on Coin, “My vote is yes.”

“You guys, this way of thinking is what started the uprises.” Peeta says.

“I vote no, with Peeta.” Annie says.

“I vote no too.” Finnick says, and he looks at you, “After everything that happened to you? You really want to say yes?”

You lean towards him, “Some of those motherfuckers have sons and daughters. My vote stands.”

“No. We need to stop viewing each other as enemies.” Beetee says, you nearly forgot he was there because of how quiet he’s been.

It’s down to just Haymitch and Katniss. Katniss is staring right at Coin, “I get to kill Snow.”

“I expected no less of you.” Coin says, a smile hinting at her lips.

That rubs you the wrong way, and you can tell it does the same for Katniss, even if nothing physically changes. It’s the way Katniss pauses before speaking next, that gives it away, “Then I vote yes. For Prim.”

“Haymitch?” Coin asks, Katniss slowly turns her head to him.

They stare at each other for a moment before he decides his answer, “I’m with the mockingjay.”

“That carries the vote, excellent. We’ll announce the games tonight, after the execution.” Coin says, a smile is on her face.

You get up from the table, “Sounds good to me.”

Your eyes land on Finnick, eyebrows raised. He catches the drift and gets up from where he’s sitting.

“We’ll see you guys later.”

The two of you leave the room with no comments from anyone else. The moment that the door has shut behind Finnick, he’s on your ass.

“You seriously voted yes?”

“I’m out for blood.”

“I can tell.” Finnick says, he catches up with your pace, “I’ve been thinking about what you wanted.”

You slow a little, allowing him a chance to speak without it being rushed.

He takes this as a sign to keep talking, “Before you get mad, I know what you said, alright. You want a fresh start, away from people you know. District Four is like that.”

“Except for the fact that your ex-girlfriend is going to go back there too.”

“She isn’t.” he says.

You look over.

“She’s going to stay with Katniss’ mom or something. I talked to Annie last night to make sure I heard everything right. District Four is ours for the taking. It’s a fresh start to you, and it’s home for me.”

Finnick’s got a look on his face, and with the way that he’s already calmed you down immensely--he’s been getting better at it, lately--you can’t help but to be compliant.

“What happens when your neighbors hate me?” you ask, “Or we fight?”

“Easy, we get you a vacation house here.” Finnick’s proud of this one, he’s got a smile on his face, “You’ll be able to come here whenever you want. Live your life of luxury, and then come home.”

You stop walking now, “You’re sure you want me to go there, though? You want me around?”

Finnick laughs, coming closer. He’s gentle with the way he cups your jaw with one hand, looking down at you, “Honey, I’ve been chasing you around this entire time. I’m not going to stop now.”

You squint at him, “Honey?”

A smile appears on his face, and you can’t help but to smile too.

“Don’t let it get to your head.” Finnick says, running his thumb over your cheek.

“I let everything get to my head.”

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair metanoia #metanoia #metanoia chapter eighteen

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mtk4fun · 5 years ago

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Katniss Everdeen’s Mental Health Toolbox

I’ve probably read The Hunger Games trilogy at least a dozen times now. And what’s become more and more apparent to me with every reading is the vast quantities of mental health advice that author Suzanne Collins has woven throughout the books. In these particular times, it might be useful to remind ourselves of the things that helped Katniss survive the circumstances she endured. Below is a compilation in no particular order. Katniss pays attention to the good. So I focus on the one really good thing that’s happened since I landed in the arena. I have a bow and arrows! (THG p. 19)

She uses self-talk to calm herself. I use a technique one of the doctors suggested. I start with the simplest things I know to be true and work toward the more complicated. The list rolls in my head…

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is in District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me. Peeta has been taken prisoner. He is thought to be dead. Most likely he is dead. It is probably for the best if he is dead… (Mockingjay p. 4)

She mentally stops scary thoughts until she is better able to deal with them. I push the thought (about Cinna’s death) away because it’s impossibly painful to dwell on without losing my fragile hold on the situation entirely. (Mockingjay p. 12)

She uses activity as a distraction. “Want to hear them do a real song?” I burst out. Anything to stop those memories. (Mockingjay p. 122)

He (Finnick) sits under the safety light in his space, knotting his rope, not even pretending to rest…“The more you can distract yourself, the better, he says.” (Mockingjay 154 &156)

She uses happy memories to calm her troubled spirit. I sit on the side of my bed (after discovering Darius is an Avox), elbows on my knees, forehead on my fists, and watch the glowing suit in the darkness, imagining I am in my old home in District 12, huddled beside the fire. (Mockingjay p. 218-219)

She uses the technique of acting “as if” to give her courage. I want to run away...But there’s no one here but me. I try to capture the calm demeanor my mother assumes when handling particularly bad cases. (THG p. 256)

She stills her fears through sensory means. I know velvet because my mother has a dress with a collar made of the stuff. When I sit on the (velvet) couch, I can’t help running my fingers over the fabric repeatedly. It helps to calm me…(THG p. 34)

I sit back on my bed cross-legged and find myself rubbing the smooth iridescent surface of the pearl back and forth across my lips. For some reason it’s soothing. (Mockingjay p. 33)

She recognizes that physical touch brings comfort in times of distress. Finally, Gale is here and maybe there is nothing romantic between us, but when he opens his arms I don’t hesitate to go in. His body is familiar to me. (THG p. 38)

…the warmth of Rue at my side, her head cradled on my shoulder, have given me a sense of security. I realize, for the first time, how very lonely I’ve been in the arena. How comforting the presence of another human being can be. (THG p. 209)

We manage the darkness as we did in the arena wrapped in each other’s arms, guarding against danger that can descend at any moment. (CF p.72 )

I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me. (Mockingjay p. 388)

She recognizes that she has emotions and takes an inventory of them. I dig around inside myself, trying to register anger, hatred, longing. I only find relief. (Mockingjay p. 384)

She feels her grief. Out of nowhere, the tears begin to pour down my cheeks. “She’s dead.” (Mockingjay p. 386)

She spends time in nature, relishing its healing properties. The woods became our savior, and each day I went a bit further into its arms. (THG p. 51)

We could be above ground. Out in the woods. We could be ourselves again. (Mockingjay p. 36)

It is the old Katniss’s favorite kind of day. The woods awakening after the long winter. (Mockingjay p. 385)

She understands that after loss basic necessities, familiar belongings, and pets can bring comfort. …there were more than enough clean, white living compartments (for the refugees from District 12), plenty of clothing, and three meals a day…..They were safe. They were being cared for. (Mockingjay p. 8)

My mother hugs the wedding photo tightly against her chest and then places it, along with the book of plants, on our government-issued chest of drawers. I hang my father’s jacket on the back of a chair. For a moment, the place seems also like home. (Mockingjay p. 19-20)

Prim just sits on the floor weeping (happy tears) and rocking that awful Buttercup, who interrupts his purring only for an occasional hiss at me. (Mockingjay p. 19)

She values her relationships knowing that they keep her centered. I drink in his (Peeta’s) wholeness, the soundness of his body and mind. It runs through me like the morphling they give me in the hospital, dulling the pain of the last weeks. (Mockingjay p. 22)

This is one of the few good things about 13. Getting Gale back…..we’ve managed to regain our friendship. (Mockingjay p. 28)

She practices her passion, and even views projects as a way to heal. We hunt, like in the old days… it’s about as close to happiness as I think I can currently get. (Mockingjay p. 53)

“Doing the cake was a kind of therapy.” (Mockingjay p. 228)

I tell him (Dr. Aurelius) about my idea for the book…. We (Katniss and Peeta) seal the pages with salt water and promises to live well to make their lives count. Haymitch finally joins us. (Mockingjay p. 387)

She keeps herself busy. I try to follow Dr. Aurelius’ advice, just going through the motions… we learn to keep busy again. Peeta bakes. I hunt. Haymitch drinks until the liquor runs out, and then raises geese until the next train arrives. (Mockingjay p. 387)

She practices forgiveness. I’ve been trying hard to mend my relationship with my mother… My time in the arena made me realize how I needed to stop punishing her for something she couldn’t help, specifically the crushing depression she fell into after my father’s death. Because sometimes things happen to people and they’re not equipped to deal with them. (CF p. 31)

I had to forgive Finnick for his role in the conspiracy that landed me here. …it takes too much energy to stay angry with someone who cries so much. (Mockingjay p. 12)

She accepts the reality of a difficult situation. Just accept that it will be a bad night I tell myself. (THG p. 279).

And yet there’s something calming about the idea that this torment could come to an end. (Mockingjay p. 167)

She learns to live in the present. “That’s one thing I think my head doctor might be right about. (says Johanna) There’s no going back. So we might as well get on with things.” (Mockingjay p. 239)

She learns to avoid self-pity. Finnick and I sit a long time in silence…”How do you bear it?” …“Better not to give into it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.” (Mockingjay p. 156)

Katniss counts her blessings. …on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I’m afraid it could be taken away. That’s when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I’ve seen someone do. It’s like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years. (Mockingjay p. 390)

#mental health #Katniss Everdeen's Mental Health Tools

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hockeysweetheart · 5 years ago

Photo

My thoughts while reading The ballad of song birds and Snakes... ( I’ll be refering Coriolanus to Snow in this because I am not about to write that name who know how many times) ( Please note Many many spoilers ahead)

How do I say these names... Flips through the book yeah I’m screwed..

Trigis is Snow’s Older Cousin Didn’t see that coming

What’s this... Am I actually Feeling sorry and bad for snow... ( lets see how long this lasts for)

Point 2 seconds a little upset you have to mentor Lucy gray from District 12 then your over it once she shows her vaule...

Lucy Gray wow you sure know how to make an entrence. I like you...

Is she the first winner from District 12?

Did that really happen...

Roses on the roof really...

Okay that was kinda sweet ( showing up to the train station with the rose)

Wait what it’s not the luxury that is seen in the other books.They are treated like well zoo animals. anywhere outside of the zoo ( before a certain point they are in handcuffs also they are literally all in the same cage at the zoo and people can visit them too) ( Not fed/ mot trained basically they go into the arena as they look and wear the same clothes too) (( I am doing this in one big point so then I don’t do like 50 points on this)

No wonder there is a law “No fighting with the other tributes before the games start”

Who the actual **** is this Dean Guy...

Okay thats sweet Snow is actually trying to make Lucy Stand a chance.... Whats this Snow is actual kinda sweet what are you doing to me..

Sejanus Is feeding them too...

Okay the Picnic was kinda sweet..

He knows Marcus... Oh wait I forgot hes from District 2

Well that escalated Quickly...

How didn’t these games get cancled... I said this to myself about 10 times...

Okay you did what to that girl because she told a lie...

Dr Gaul I have so many questions but frankly I am scared for your answer..

Okay Kids lets go on a field trip where you will die in a few days..

What is this arena...

Boom....

How is this guy on the loose...

Then I realized the games haven’t even started yet...

About the public humlationn really you treated them bad enough... but now the dead... ughhh

Okay Snow is being sweet again. Why am I blushing..

Okay I am convinced this Lucy Gray is related to Katniss somehow...

SUGAR COOKIES PEETA MELLARK....

Okay that was sweet for Trigis to help out for the interview cleaning her dress and making sure lucy was washed up a bit...

Is it that hard to find a gutair....

It’s not over until the Mockingjay sings...

Lucy Grays Interview wow.. BRAVO BRAVO..

Wait a second. Snow you didn’t just say that You own Lucy Gray.... Just because her interview was amazing... and she’s a bigger shot then you... Takes a sip of a drink... Well I should of seen this coming..

Okay its okay to let Lucy Gray cheat in the games But when Katniss pulls out those berries its like oh hell no...

Now I see why they check the Tokens from home befroe they are approved for the arena..

She really kissed you and we were about to whitness a makeout session... ( I almost yelled get a room)

Now the games are gonna beggin actually I was like is this a false start..

Oh its Happening...

Whats the point of throwing Marcus pretty much dead in like that...

Who is Lucky Flickerman and this guy with the camera in there faces...

What in the actual were those Parachute gifts...

Guess there are no trackers on them...

How in the hell. Did Sejanus get in the arena... Why are you making Snow go and get him... Grow some and get in there your self... I just defended Snow whats wrong with me...

Snow actually Killed a tribute... what the....

Why is guy from 11 Making a morgue....

Laughing a little when other tributes grab the gifts

Oh a little Jealous of Lucy Gray and her District partner

Okay did I really just read the words STAR CROSSED LOVERS.. your killing me here..

OH wait.... Okay that was kinda sweet.. What the mentor for the male of District 12 did to save Lucy...

Well that Alliance is over...

Rat Poison....

District 11 your no fool...

So let me get this you can only send gifts if you can see them where the hell are all the cameras...

Really messing with the snakes so they don’t attack Lucy... ugh... so you can win the prize to pay your way... Pops another bottle

Lucy Gray looks like this snake whisper....

This morgue is weird...

I like my town with a little drop of Poison...

How the hell did she Poison that pond...

Well Lucy gray is the winner... ( As expected..)

Oh shit now Snow is in trouble...

And how in the hell he got approved to be a peacekeepr in district 12...

Okay it is kinda sweet he is going after someone he loves...

Snow one step in District 12.. Oh my god air nature get me outta here... Me rolls eyes....

Thank god Sejanus is here.

Are you are you coming to the tree...

Snow sees one Mockingjay and is like Oh hell no... Me Katniss Everdeen ....

Maybe once he sees Lucy he will change

The only Days free is Sunday ....

The Hob really...

trading Sejanus Ma’s goods...

Hmmm they are kinda looking like the peacekeepers from 12 around Katniss’s time... Kinda chill..

Okay Maude Ivory shes cute.. The Covey Love them..

When you think oh they are finally going to meet face to face again Bam... Billy Tate and Mayfair Lipp ruin it.. ‘

You really went to the bakery... HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND..

During this point I thought Snow you have seen how food doesn’t come by really good here....WHY HAVEN’T YOU FED THEM BETTER IN THE 65 DAMN YEARS.. .

Really from the seam... ( Starts to make a list of every possbile place that Belongs to Katniss Everdeen)

Not only does Snow Find Lucy Gray in the medow ( Deep in the meadow) But with a goat too... ( adds it to my list) and shes Sing the song she wrote the hanging tree... adds to my list....

And now they start making out/ Which basically almost ends up in make out session every single time they meet up.. ( Now i was okay with this since I am sucker for a love story)

Did Lucy Live in the same house as Katniss did....

Snow also realized real fast how the Districts don’t watch the games too much...

Billy whats his last name and Sejanus hmmm Hiding a map but wait Snow saw it... That could of happened smoother...

Snow has this plan to Kill the mockingjay.... ( Sweetheart that didn’t work 65 years later)....

They go to the lake in the woods on a sunday no less... damn 3 things to add oh my god Katniss everdeen list...

Snow literally 2 seconds into the woods oh hell no... ROLLS EYES...

Now your swimming in the lake and in the “house” Keeps writing down)... and the Deep in the meadow song is sung... I am going to need a bigger piece of paper..

Finds Katniss plants... now at this point i am not surprised...

Gets approval to Kill the Mockingjays because they care me BIG WOOF....

Trapping the jabberjays... why is snow so interested... Oh shit the scientist knows me..

Sees Lucy again at singing at the hobb but he has a little before the show if you know what I mean.. then he notices Sejanus sneaks out ( which he clames he was going to the bathroom... which was a lie)

Maude Ivory is Wearing a buttercup dress... whats next Primrose is gonna make an apperence...

Snow really looking threw Sejanus stuff... ( I was so like hes gonna take the money and run)

Sejanus oh my dear Sejanus He played you like a fool ... He recorderd the whole damn thing... at least he cannot get worse then that... your kinda like the idiot in those movies that lays out the whole evil plot to someone to only 10 seconds later get caught for it....

What the actual BEEEP happened in that shed.. Please let this be the first and last gun Snow ever gets his hands on...

The fact that Maude Ivory found the bodies is not okay...

The gossip at the BASE is gold..

At least snow felt Guilt for his killings...

are you are you coming to the tree

Well Sejanus Sorry to see you go..

Now a little make out session at the commarders party when the Covey sings... She really wrote a song for him okay thats kinda sweet..

Now Lucy asks Snow to run away with her.... ( Writes this down) And he says yes... he literally didn’t make it five miles... but then he found out he passed a test the day of but attemps to run away with Lucy... but....

Before this tho Snow sends all of Sejanus Money to trigis ( oh yeah i forgot to add basically they are loosing there place)

Now in the Woods...

5 seconds in snow is like oh hell no....

Lucy Figures out that Snow is the reason Sejanus is dead...

Lucy says shes gonna get katniss plants and then she get the hell outta there this is after Snow finds the murder wepons...

Snow gets bitten by a snake... ( Sips wine)

Who in the hell Let Coriolanus Snow touch a gun... he is shooting left and right...

Lucy Grey GAME ON.... ARE YOU ARE YOU COMING TO THE TREE.... and then bam gone...

My reaction to those events was what the actual hell did i read there.. Oh it gets better...

So snow makes it back thinking hes gonna die from a non poisnous snake bite... and hes outta district 12.. But back to the captiol to where Dr Gaul said you passed the test...

Now here is the part I literally almost threw my book...

When Snow used Sejanus Parents to his full advantage... never telling them oh he is the reason there one and only son is dead.. and Basically the parents “Adopt snow..” pay for his schooling now, makes sure he is well fed and dressed..” I was beyond pissed at this point...

So now my last point Snow said the games must go on which duhh ( since we meet Katniss everdeen ) and that they will be better and everyone must watch... and more twists and turns in it...

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes spoilers #tbosas spoilers #tbosas #bbs #bosas spoilers #bosas #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #sejanus #spoilers #my reaction #sorry not sorry

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