#Doe Dupre

[widowshill]

tag drop part 2.

[hazelfoureyes]

A Doe in Fall (Part 12)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie📍

Part 12 Eddie

Brady tried to cut some corners to bring you and Alastor down but ends up just hurting himself.

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem!Reader, still not smut cuz we’re waiting for the special moment, po-po, 5-0, down at the gun club, not an accurate portrayal of 1930s New Orleans Leadership, mystery kisses, brief thoughts of violence, illiteracy, @minkdelovely」

MDNI 👮 🚓

Edward Freeman met Kenneth Brady when the younger man was partnered with him. He was bright eyed, and had a sense of justice Freeman appreciated. He was already tired of the rigamarole of police work, so the fresh energy reinvigorated his early days and long nights. It was rather pointless though, police work, given the people in charge weren’t fans of cracking down on the illegal booze business. It was making too much money under the tables and in handshakes.

The nation was still reeling from the crash of the market nearly two years prior. Any way to get ahead, to stay with your chin above the rising waters, well… what harm is there really in feeding your family? The end justifies the means, right? And Brady didn’t seem to disagree too much with that sentiment. 

So when the typically stringent, but otherwise soft spoken and relaxed, Brady began to…devolve into someone a little too myopic, Freeman wasn’t quite sure how to handle him. They’d been rather laissez-faire about the morality of things for so long. They tried to keep violence at a minimum so their fellow citizens could enjoy their city. That was the extent of it. But, Brady was becoming obsessed. 

It started normally enough. Brady bringing up a missing husband. Later on, a missing bartender. Soon he was snooping on to other’s cases, convinced something was connecting them. 

But, given the times and the character of such people, well, Freeman couldn’t quite understand Brady’s fervor. Sure. Some of them probably ended up under backyards and in the water. Hell, quite a few of them he’d have helped do away once he got the real dirt on them. A conspiracy? Or a mass killer? That seemed implausible at best. There was simply no indication of a grande scheme. 

Brady kept pushing. Walking the streets at night with ears open and eyes peeled, for any inkling of what was going on. 

He just couldn’t accept that sometimes people leave town or jobs. Very few of them were actually reported by loved ones, even the ones that had them.

Then came along the widow Dupre, watery eyed and shaking about her missing adult son. Who, from what they’d uncovered, was a real piece of work.

Freeman let Brady start his investigation, but as it became clear he was adding it to his pile of random disappearances, Freeman had to step away. He could see the obsession ruining his friend. 

At a rare dinner with the families, the stress on Brady’s wife’s face was visible for all to see. She cornered Freeman in the kitchen when he went for more coffee, asking if Brady was stepping out on her or if he truly had been working so hard on something big. 

He hardly knew what to say. Neither were true. He’d been working late, but on a wild goose chase. 

When he dragged a clean cut and confused woman into the station, Freeman knew he’d really lost the fucking plot. 

“She’s his accomplice. I know it. Her fella is the man. I’ve got him fingered.” Brady pointed at you through the closed door. You weren’t listening to their voices in the hall, the name still ringing in your head. The name you'd both sacrificed to keep secret. 

Alastor.

Freeman hissed, “You can’t arrest people for knowing a guy! A boogie man at that, Kenny. Come on.” 

“I have her confession for prostitution. It’s all clean and by the book. And, I have a witness.” Brady tapped Freeman’s arm with the back of his hand and led him down the hall to another room, “He saw her and her guy throw a body in the river.”

Well, shit.

“You found a body? The Dupre son?” Freeman considered what he’d said. The river? Why the river? Bodies didn’t always make it to the sea. It’d be a sloppy misstep for this supposed murderous mastermind.

Brady sighed, his parade a little rained on. “...No, but I have a witness right there. And, I got the name of her fella. I just need to find which station he’s at and I’m off to the races. I bet you my house this guy’s good for it.”

Ah, so. He had next to nothing. Freeman just nodded and took a calming breath. “Alright, are we starting with the woman or this guy?”

“Oh, for sure her.” Bready turned to open the door, but Freeman shot his hand out to stop him. 

“And this is the one who gave you the runaround?” Freeman had heard so much about you already, he wanted to prepare himself for whatever tricky shrew was waiting for him. He followed his partner through the door and took you in fully. Your stare was distant and glassy. You’d been crying and you seemed to be shaking slightly from the cold of the room as fall’s night air slipped in through the window. 

You could, reasonably, be his daughter. A similar age for sure, similar build, same hair color. Same penchant for the wrong kinda guy, apparently.

He recalled all of the ways Brady had spoken about you. The image in his head was a bird faced woman with sharp eagle eyes and tight lips. Someone decidedly ugly with a permanent scowl and mischief behind quick glances.

And here was a woman, vulnerable and quite nice to look at it. Hair obviously groomed well when not manhandled by cops, and a rather handsome dress which indicated a good personality by the current standards. The shoulders had flat bows that let their ribbons fall onto your bare shoulders. Feminine. Suitable. Not much skin showing. otherwise. A burlesquer seemed to the kind who didn’t wear clothes often, but he supposed everyone has a work uniform after all. Even the nude dancers. Who was he to judge you for your professional clothing requirements? You were here and modest and that’s what mattered.

He took a seat, sliding the folder Brady had set down into the space in front of him. “I hear you’re not too fond of disclosing your personal information.”

It had been several hours since you’d arrived, and now they chose to grace you with their presence? You’d been tossed into a room and left alone for so long, it seemed more like punishment than bureaucracy.

Brady’s bright blue eyes only get clearer and darker with every ounce of anger you inspired in him. An angry sea churning up violently behind his mean mug. He was practically sneering at you. 

“Can you blame me? The men in this city are certifiable. Case in point, this hound you call a cop.” You had the forethought to keep your shoulders pulled inward, gesturing with your chin.

“Detective.” Brady corrected. 

“Same thing, jackass.” Eyes rolling, you pushed back against the chair causing the front legs to lift for a second. Returning your glare to him, you honed in on the messy details. You remembered his hair well from that first meeting in front of the cafe. It clearly had become oily and weighed down from less frequent washing. The skin under his eyes was looking dark and thin. “You look like shit, by the way. Should sleep instead of bothering honest performers.”

“Ha, there you are. True colors shining through finally.”

“How was my mom? Not much of a talker.”

“Fu-,” Brady flinched forward, chair squeaking against the linoleum floor. It took a tensing of your arms to keep from openly reacting.

“Ya’ll, enough. Now, don’t be too sour with us. We’re just working off your own words,” Freeman opened the folder to find your confession. It had been typed nice and neat and labeled DOE, JANE. He turned it to you briefly, eyebrows hitching as if to ask if you remembered it. You glanced at it long enough to see the conversation and names and nodded. Yes, you’d had that conversation. Brady must have typed it mostly from memory, you thought, or he had some quick shorthand. He brought it back to face him and as his eyes roamed the sheet, his shoulders stiffened. He wasn’t seeing what he was expecting. “Could you-?,” he motioned for Brady to point out the part of your last conversation that constituted a confession. Brady tapped a line of text. 

BRADY - Tell me about the dates Tommy arranged. DOE, JANE - Apparently many of the dancers agreed, got a cut. I had no idea about it until he introduced me to a man who was very forward. I insulted him and ran off. Lost Tommy good money, apparently. BRADY - And who was that? DOE, JANE - S something. Mister Stein? I honestly wasn’t listening much after I realized what was happening. BRADY - And then he knocked you around? DOE, JANE - Yeah. Got me good. BRADY - And… the next date. Last time anyone saw Tommy. Tell me about that. DOE, JANE - Tommy said he’d kill me if I didn’t go. So I did. Promised me he’d stay with me for protection. But as soon as he got his money he left.

Freeman’s head lifted slowly from the paper to look at you over the folder, across the table. Your arms were crossed, makeup smeared and running with long dried tears. Your hair mussed. His head turned with a crawl, weighted down with a steel ball of apprehensive horror, to look at Brady. He was leaning on the table with both elbows, staring at you like you’d busted out his car window and shot his dog. 

“Can I speak to you for a moment?” He pushed back, resting his hand on Brady’s shoulder and walking out. In the small room that looked into the interrogation room where the male witness fidgeted, he set the folder and your words down. 

He motioned for Brady to close the door behind him. As soon as the latch clicked into place, he smacked the table. 

“That isn’t a confession! It’s a fucking victim statement, Kenny.” He looked through the one way glass at the man seated, “And he wrote a witness report?” He gestured with his head, the man Brady called Joseph sat quietly waiting for their return. His clothes were pulling at the seams, his fingernails crusted with dirt. 

Brady nodded, “Yeah. He came in yesterday and after he told me what he saw he wrote it down there and signed.” He was pointing to a piece of paper he’d left on the same table Kenny was now trying to use for stability. Trying was the keyword. His disbelief was dizzying. 

A small laugh, petulant and bordering annoyed, left his lips. He grabbed a pen, wrote something down, and brushed past him. Freeman marched into the witness room, Brady closely following behind.

“Sir, do me a favor and check I’ve spelt your name properly on this paperwork please.” He held it up. The man looked, found where Freeman's finger was pointing, and nodded.

Freeman looked at Brady with dead eyes, the shutdown of his feelings was an automatic attempt by his body to try and keep from grabbing Brady by the shirt in a fit rage, and turned the paper to reveal the name written to Brady. 

Josanna. Written neatly in block letters. 

Without breaking eye contact with Brady, “And just refresh my memory, sir, what was your statement in regards to again?”

Joseph cleared his throat, “I saw it happen. Down by the river.”

“Saw what happen?”

“The crime.”

“What crime?”

“The one with the guy and the girl. It’s all in there.”

Freeman shoved the written statement into Brady’s chest, “You have half a second to get to the captain’s office before I do.” 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“That man can’t even read his own name let alone write. From what I can tell he’s a random homeless you plied with confiscated booze. What is going on with you?” The gray haired man bellowed from his chair, hands resting on a large pot belly. 

“What does that matter! It’s an illegal hooch den! Naked dancers! Race mixing! She admitted she-,” Brady was pacing a small three foot by three foot square in front of the desk. Freeman had his arms crossed while seated.

“A victim told you she was assaulted. And I-,” the captain leaned back in his chair, “You know exactly how we feel about the wet spots in this city. The, uh, race thing is another issue but— Kenny, you’re one more rogue act from losing your beat. Do you not get that?”

“Rogue? I’m doing legitimate police work. I’m investigating crime! What the fuck is happening here?!” He stopped pacing long enough wave an apology to his boss for the language. 

Freeman sighed, long and heavy. A huff of breath that somehow conveyed his disappointment better than words.

“I decide what constitutes police work and this is not that.” His boss shook his chair side to side, thinking about how to get Brady in line. “It comes straight from the commissioner and the mayor above him. We aren’t to hound the bars under our purview.”

‘I’m not!” He started up pacing again, hands up and open in genuine confused frustration. 

“You’re harassing their dancers! Stalking around their establishments at night freaking people out!” He laughed in disbelief, “Her manager is outside now. Had to shut down for the night because of your little show.”

Brady put his hands on his hips and faced away from the captain. His face enough alone to have him dismissed. 

“I know she’s involved. I know her guy did it. And I know someone’s killing people. Lots of people.” He said it confidently into the corner of the office.

“Kenny. Enough.” Freeman shook his head and stood to leave. 

“One complaint about you and you’re being chained to a desk. Cut her loose, apologize, and go home. I don’t wanna see you anymore tonight. Your freaky little eyes are getting under my skin.” His captain removed his small rounded glasses and rubbed his hands down his face, exasperated his life had come to telling men to stop doing their jobs.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

While you were here anyway, and Brady shooed off Joseph, Freeman decided to speak with you again. He offered you a nod and took Brady’s seat.

It was hard to be friendly, you found. Every minute or so you had to sniffle, nose running long after the tears dried up. Your eyelashes stuck together when you blinked.

“I’m afraid I didn’t get your name, sir.” You sniffled again, hands warming your arms.

Freeman leaned over and offered you his hand, “Detective Eddie Freeman.” You shook it, keeping your hand rather limp to give the appearance of weakness.

“I just-,” he laughed as he set his hand on the table, clicking his ring twice out of habit, “I gotta ask. Did your fella kill Tommy? Are you in some kinda trouble?”

With a scoff and a shake of your head, you found yourself, “No,  but I wish he had. What’s the point of being good if people assume the worst of you anyway?” Reaching out for his hand again, you held his large one in both of your smaller ones, “At least if he’d killed him I’d be sure Tommy’s never coming back to keep his promise.”

Your mother always taught you to make yourself small. Remind the people you needed to believe you that you were not a threat. Play the part they always pigeon holed you into. It was easier than fighting the assumptions. There was power in deception. 

“Your pal is really ruining my life. Even more than Tommy.” You squeezed, 30% strength.  

When you looked up at him, he could only find you to be the image of pitiful girl, “Let me check some things and I’ll have Kenny sending you on your way, miss-?”

“Doe.”

“Right.” His ring rapped against the bright wooden door frame, two times, and your brief time knowing Freeman ended. 

The paralysis set in as soon as the door was shut. You could hear Alastor’s name echoing around in your head, the sound so sharp it made fresh tears well. Brady had heard it, of course. It was for nothing. You worked so hard, kept his name off of your tongue despite the way it always felt so good there. 

Conjured images of Alastor barging into the police station haunted you. What would he say in anger? Brady wasn’t crazy, he was smart and lucky. Nothing could be worse. Alastor could say anything while mad, and Brady could make conclusions he had no business jumping to.

And then he was there in the room with you, and you had to return to the moment and try to calibrate yourself. Who were you now? He already knew you weren’t the damsel in distress, he knew you weren’t weak and frail. Right?

Maybe you’d just be yourself, like you’d let slipped earlier. Your mouth opened and his hand flew up, “Don’t. Shut it.”

“Excu-”

“I’ve been told to apologize and send you home.”

“Oh? And are you?”

Brady smiled, and for a moment you forgot how scary that should be. “No. You’re a liar and you’re aiding a criminal. But you work in a place I’m not supposed to bother. Luckily for me, Alastor’s work surely isn’t one.” Your eyes rolled. Hearing him say the name was like hearing a dog sing opera. Unsettling and unnatural. Perhaps a little impressive from a distance. Unfortunately you were front row and center.

Time with you felt so rare, he wanted to keep you a little longer but couldn’t think of what to say or do. Briefly he entertained grabbing you and violently shaking you until you confessed. He managed to find the strength to bury that down, mouth opening instead in preparation for words he didn’t have yet. 

“Can I go home now?” Rubbing your arms to make it clear how uncomfortable you were, you cut him off like he had you. Not that he had anything to say. 

Brady motioned with his thumb down the hall and said, “Your guy isn’t here to pick you up. Funny name by the way. I got a complaint for an Alastor last week. Socked some man for no good reason. Sounds like a violent fella, kinda guy with a temper when someone speaks I’ll of his lady, or fiancée, I’m told…Anyway, dropped the case since the guy wouldn’t give any more information but maybe I should follow up.”

“Are you so sure I have one, a guy that is?” You simply couldn’t admit Alastor was yours. Never. Not for Brady. “No one’s coming for me. No one’s punched anyone for me either. Though, I’m flattered you think I’m worth the charge. Am I free to leave?” The little tug of your lips into a halfhearted grin warmed you. It was thrilling, lying to his face when you both knew the truth.

He didn’t move. He couldn’t let you take this moment from him. He’d made a massive victory in this personal war and your nonchalant attitude was making something in the back of his skull itch. Somewhere beneath his bone. A new sensation.

A brief and violent flash of knocking the smirk off your tear stained face startled him. You noticed him swallow hard, expression shifting from amused to bewildered. From the outside, all you could read was a frightened widening of his eyes.

“Brady…? If you’re waiting for some man to collect me, I’ll be here all night.” Your voice was softer now, while you couldn’t uncover what was happening in his head, you could tell he was in some kind of turmoil.

A man unable to control his face was often a man unable to control his hands.

His legs lifted his body up and dragged him over to the door.  He opened it, slowly, before leaning against the wall beside it to ensure you passed him in close quarters. He knew he couldn’t keep you there forever.

Maybe this Alastor was a real rough fellow. So cruel he wouldn’t even care if his dame was in a bind. The kind of man to abandon his closest allies when cornered. Maybe he really wasn’t coming for you. Which was fine, he told himself. He’d be seeing him soon.

Following you out, he took the walk as an opportunity to warn you again.

“This won’t end like you think it will.” He said it too loudly for how close he was to you, “It never does for the women.” He stopped at the station’s front desk and leaned into the glossy wooden counter, “Oh! I almost forgot! Congrats on the engagement.”

Turning to say a harsh good night, you caught yourself and turned back, exiting through the station doors without another word to him. No need for polite pleasantries anymore. The game was well and truly over for you. 

“Oh thank god,” Johnny was sitting on the steps of the station and jumped to his feet when you came out, a sight you weren’t expecting. You stopped, confused. He smiled seeing your brows knit and eyes wander past him in search of someone else, “I was going to bail you out but they said there wasn’t any need. Alastor is waiting for you.” 

Like a leak in the hull of your iron-sided ship, it seemed the second Ruth so sweetly dripped that name into Brady’s waiting maw the ocean was spilling in. Every time you heard it fall from another person’s mouth the breach in your metal barriers tore wider. If the Titanic could sink in calm weather what luck did Alastor and you have in the tempest of Brady’s fervor?

“Oh…,” you tried to hide the dejection. He sent Johnny? That was smart, but, why did it sting?

Perhaps it was his six sisters, or maybe he was genuinely a good man, but Johnny’s heart ached at the pitiful tone. He leapt up two steps, “He wanted to come! But I told him it was a bad idea. Tempers and all that. Don’t need any more issues for you tonight. Though admittedly he didn’t seem mad, necessarily.”

A slow nod. Johnny told Alastor what to do? Your eyes looked to the left, that was an odd mental image.

“Thanks, Johnny. I need to return to the theater first.” Your hand reached out for his arm and gave it a squeeze, “I appreciate you.”

“Dont mention it. And your bag is with Alastor.” He let his hand come to yours, “He’s kind of a mess, that one.”

You tensed, accidentally pinching his arm in a flit of panic before drawing it back, “Did he drive home like that?”

He shook his head and handed you the card, “He said,” a pause as his eyes rolled up to search for the exact words, “to tell the host you’re there for him. Called it the Golden Dish, but the card doesn’t mention anything like that…. Sorry, I didn’t think to ask more questions. Like I said, he seemed out of sorts.”

You looked down to inspect it, nervous at the sudden introduction of a paper trail. Nodding, you finally took it with both hands. The face was rather plain: an address in the corner with just the number and street, and an interlocked G and D in the center. Turning it over, you found a pink lipstick kiss stained haphazardly across the back and a small squiggle. Your thumb ran over the clipped right bottom corner. 

What was the Golden Dish? And who was kissing Alastor’s business cards?

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:･

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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[wildflower-otome]

Clover no Kuni no Alice ~Promise Red~ Light Novel Translation (Complete) Summary: Sequel to White Calling. By arrangement with the Boss of the Hatter Family, Blood Dupre, Alice is now living temporarily at Heart Castle until the Assembly period is over. However, for some reason, the Prime Minister, the White Rabbit Peter, is behaving strangely and suddenly starts to avoid Alice….. Despite not knowing what he’s thinking, her feelings for him continue to grow—In the midst of their estrangement, what fate does the bewildered Alice choose!?

Prologue ACT 1 – What awaited after falling was a white rose ACT 2 - Phantom silver, secrets of the roses ACT 3 – Heartbeat that calls for a singular red ACT 4 - Taking a breather, ash-coloured love ACT 5 - Hearts that must be spoken to be understood ACT 6 - Inseparable person, beloved family ACT 7 - Red eyes make a binding promise Epilogue

[deathsbestgirl]

Please talk more about how not fine Dana Scully is, people really tend to underestimate how fucked up she truly is, honestly the way she manages to hold onto her kindness and integrity through so much violation is kind of miraculous

sometimes it makes me a little crazy. like, dana scully was so light in season one. she smiled and laughed a lot, she teased mulder, she loved working on the x files with mulder and it was obvious. even on the days she would get frustrated with mulder for doing something crazy. and i think that's true throughout the show, until the later years where it meant losing mulder, giving up her child, going on the run...

but. for me, a change occurs in beyond the sea. probably more for the audience than scully or mulder.

scully sees her dad's ghost before she even learns he's gone. she had her parents over for dinner and wanted him to be interested in her work, instead of being disappointed with her career choice. he only asks how it's going right before they walk out the door, and then he's gone. part of her wants to believe she really saw him, but it's also really scary. she almost looks for x files with similar happenings but as she finds them, slams the door instead.

she buries herself in the case as soon as the services are over. she believes boggs as mulder nearly begs her not to. when mulder is shot, she loses it on boggs. and in the end, she tells mulder she's afraid to believe.

scully was afraid to believe before she was abducted. after her abduction, believing is more terrifying. she clings to skepticism and focuses on proof. in their line of work, only what you can prove really matters. it's what mulder needs her for, and later on, she clings to it harder even though she can't deny there are certain fantastic things she believes in.

after her abduction, everything is heavier for both mulder and scully. we saw how lost he was in 3, how self punishing & self hating. and when scully comes back, she's determined to get back to work. she won't take any time before heading back because that would mean sitting alone with what happened to her and she can't possibly deal with that. fear of the unknown to the extreme.

scully never believed samantha was taken by aliens. then she was taken like her, returned completely battered an inch from death with no memory of what happened. whether that was the work of whoever (or whatever) took her or her own mind...either thought is terrifying.

in firewalker, mulder is so cautious with scully. he can't bear her disappearing on him again. he tries to keep her safe and it ultimately puts in a dangerous position. but she's quick, and she saves herself while the girl handcuffed to her dies on the other side of the door.

mulder was so gentle with her after her father died, calling her dana for the first time that we see. he does it again in lazarus when jack willis/dupre kidnapped her. he's careful with her feelings whenever she's vulnerable. after her abduction, in firewalker, when he finds her alive, he cups her cheek like he did in beyond the sea. she is so precious to him, they're best friends. and she tells him she's fine over and over again.

in irresistible, the case already disturned scully on a core level. she couldn't comprehend the violence and violation of what donnie pfaster did to the dead, and later his victims. as a pathologist, she can't imagine desecrating a body. what she does, she does because she cares about people and justice. she can't save them when they're already gone, but she can find the truth and honor them.

in season two when they're separated and she's teaching again, she goes on about the man lying dead in front of her.

"what this man imagined...his dreams, who he loved, saw, heard, remembered...what he feared...somehow it's all locked inside this small mass of tissue and fluid."

and her student calls her spooky.

although scully doesn't love people the way mulder does -- untethered, unchecked -- she loves humanity & her country, and she wanted to do something important with her life. she decided in squeeze to be on the victims' side, like mulder. with mulder.

all through irresistible she is so disturbed and trying to be strong and hide her feelings from mulder, so she goes back to d.c. for a therapy session & to get them some leads. and then as soon as she comes back to work the case with mulder, donnie pfaster makes her a victim again. so shortly after her abduction and almost dying in firewalker. karen kosseff tells her how vulnerable she was, and it's like it almost doesn't seem real. because she doesn't remember, she healed, and if it weren't for the missing time & everyone around her having lived those horrible months without her, it would be like it didn't happen.

she fought like hell against pfaster. injured from a car accident, bound & gagged, in a house she didn't know. hallucinating him as other evil men & the devil. she was spiraling and she only had herself to depend on in the moment. hoping that mulder & co would find her in time. but ... the man worked quickly.

she didn't seem too affected after lazarus, but she believed it was her friend and that he was sick. after her abduction, she didn't have anything to cling to. after pfaster, she had mulder and she only leaned on him when she was completely overwhelmed & he wouldn't let her deal with it alone.

she has new fears.

she loses her sister and mulder loses his dad. both murdered by the same people. aliens or the shadow government, when they decide scully is a problem they have her abducted or attempt to have her killed. and she can't really do anything to prevent it when she has no idea what or who she needs to protect herself from.

there are a few moments that really stick out for me, that i just think it's clear she's not okay. scully bottles things up and keeps her pain close. she doesn't unleash it, does her best to hide it & bear it alone.

but in piper maru, skinner tells her they're letting melissa's case go inactive. cold. she's opened her eyes to government conspiracies. and she flat out tells skinner "if i may say so, sir, it has everything to do with interest. just not yours, and not mine."

there's no reason they couldn't solve her sister's murder. they have the weapon, and like scully says, they can catch people with much less. and then she goes down to the basement office where mulder is working on a case. he's going through everything, actually doing some normal pre-investigation things. and he won't ignore what's going on when so many men have suffered and may well die, just because the government is trying to sweep it under the rug.

and scully loves him so much for this.

(side note: i always love when mulder does this. it's like "do you think i'm spooky?" he wants her to think of him as well as he thinks of her. they're best friends. it matters to him what scully thinks of him. a rarity.)

then there's wetwired. scully watches all the tapes they find and very quickly becomes paranoid about mulder, specifically. now, i don't think she really believes it, i think it's a thought that scares her when she's at her lowest. but she was assigned to the x files to debunk his work, he gets neck deep in alien & government conspiracies. she didn't always understand the specific dangers of their particular work. she's so ashamed when she's back to herself, and mulder doesn't blame her at all. and when she starts talking about what she remembers, mulder takes her so seriously. mulder believes she saw something, but like the others, she misinterpreted what she saw because of the heightened paranoia & anxiety. one woman thought she saw her husband cheating with a blonde, and it was her neighbor with his golden retriever. so it's very possible she did see someone having a meeting with the cigarette smoking man outside their motel, or at least someone involved with their case.

scully is always afraid to be taken again, to be murdered. she knows the smoking man has something to do with all of it. she knows she stayed because of mulder. and she will continue to work on the x files with him. because it isn't just about him anymore. she needs answers too.

and then there's the cancer arc. i wrote all about memento mori already, and i think that all says a lot. but then there's gethsemane. kritchsgau told scully the shadow men gave her cancer to make mulder believe. it guts her, it almost kills him, but they know where her cancer came from and they haven't been able to do anything about it. i can't get over the way her voice cracks in redux. mulder is waiting for her in darkened bedroom and tells her that everything goes back to the fbi. her abduction, her cancer. she wasn't ready to face where her cancer came from, and mulder tries to help her. and any time she almost has a grip, another thing makes it come crashing down around her. the men who had her abducted, her sister killed, gave her cancer being part of the same institution she is...that's unbearable.

scully grew up with a father in the navy. they love their country, they trust their government & military & law enforcement. the x files turns everything she's ever known and understood about the world upside down.

and then there's seasons 8-11. i don't have anything to say except: scully is NOT okay. she gave up her son and has never forgiven herself. she thinks about william everyday and prays he's safe, that she did the right thing. as if there even was a right thing. you never see a more raw or vulnerable scully than in the revival. and if mulder wasn't there holding her together and doing what she couldn't...i don't think there would be a scully.

[agent-troi]

after many years, I just rewatched Lazarus.

Was Mulder a bit jealous of her relationship with Jack? She does seem to be distracted with Jack when Mulder went to rescue her.

Then, when she asks Mulder "what does it mean" in reference to Jack's stopped watch, he answers "it means what you want it to mean". He doesn't give her any comfort or assurance to help her feel better.

Perhaps I have misread their interactions because I have seen the whole series and have certain expectations from Mulder. I wonder what it was like to watch this episode when it first aired and the audiences didn't know what was to come.

i think perhaps he was a little bit... maybe more curious than jealous, as i think this is the first time in the series he learns about any of scully's past romantic relationships (this was just after beyond the sea too, so maybe he begins to connect the dots re: older male authority figures).

i have to disagree about the "it means whatever you want it to mean" line tho, although i think my initial reading was more in line with yours (my thoughts on a lot of things have shifted over time through rewatches and consuming other people's meta lmao). i think he said that specifically to reassure her, because he knew she was afraid to believe willis had really been possessed by dupre, and he wanted to give her space to process that and also space to grieve, because she lost someone she cared about. whatever mulder's personal feelings about willis and scully, he's gonna show her compassion because that's just the kind of guy he is. scully did the same when mulder's old partner jerry lamana died, and even when diana died, because what matters most to both of them is the other's happiness. when one of them loses someone they care about, the other one will put aside any grudges they may have to comfort them❤️

also, when mulder says "dana, are you okay?" and "this one's important to me"🥺🥺🥺 top tier early msr moments fr❤️

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E15: Lazarus

Case: Scully's ex-boyfriend (and ex-professor, which is a bit of a theme for our girl, as we'll learn later on), Jack gets a tip on a bank robber case he's been working day and night on. Scully helps him set up a sting operation to catch the robbers, but in the process, Jack and the robber—Warren Dupre—both get shot. At the hospital, they flatline at the same time, except that, due to Scully's stubborn insistence, Jack is resuscitated. Or, at least that's what everyone thinks. Well, I say everyone. Mulder, unsurprisingly, is the only one who suspects that something soul-switchy might have happened when Jack and Dupre were in the ER together, but that's an especially difficult one to convince your skeptic partner of, so instead he just heads a manhunt to search for said skeptic partner, after her good friend definitely-Jack holds her hostage as he attempts to reconnect with his/Dupre's beloved ("beloved") wife. (If it sounds confusing, that's just because it is.) Scully desperately wants Jack to remember going ice fishing with her, Jack desperately wants Scully to stop calling him Jack, that one agent wants everyone to stop being so mean to Spooky (so valid, king), and I want the FBI to stop spending so much money on sound equipment so that they can buy fucking whiteboard markers that don't sound like the noise equivalent of pulling a dry tampon out of your vagina.

Does someone die in the cold open: Y-yes? I mean, kind of? Ig? Technically parts of both of them die AND survive. :/

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Nah, Mulder's not a part of the overarching case, just the manhunt to find Scully, so no PowerPoint prezzies today.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: I... don't know how to answer that. I think it's like Beyond the Sea, where the case evidence is there, but there is no evidence of any supernatural occurrence bc the person experiencing the alleged supernatural occurrence is gonezo by the end.

Whodunit: Lulu and Warren Dupre, and Jack/Dupre in Jack's body commits a few felonies as well.

Convictions: Everyone's dead, but there would have been a trial if they hadn't been.

Did they solve it: I mean, yes? I'm hesitant to give this to them bc technically it wasn't even Mulder and Scully's case, but since they both did do work on it, and bc they have so few wins in life just sort of in general, they can have Lazarus.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Knowing the medical needs of the body you're possessing.

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***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 7 (streak (reluctantly) restarted)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me" Phone Calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5 (kind of want to do a stat for how often she is kidnapped and/or tied up, bc i can think of four more right off the bat, but ig i'll just count them as mortal danger)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 7 (mulder was sort of bitchy all episode bc scully refused to believe him when he said that her ex-boyfriend was being possessed by a dead bank robber. i don't know why she wasn't immediately swayed)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2 (she made the medical call to continue with the resuscitation, so she gets a point)

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 5

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 4 ½ (as far as i can tell, this all happened in D.C./Maryland? someone tell me if i'm wrong)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals: Way Down

Geoff's cover of Way Down was released on the 4th of June, 2022, and it is one of my 3 favourite videos (no particular ranking/order) on his channel so far! I might hit image limit for this one, I'm not sure, but I'm not gonna try and be conservative with my screenshot taking, because this video is too much fun! So let's go!

This was filmed at Pattycake Productions Studios, and I wanna know who was in charge of/helped with set design for this one. Was it Geoff? Was he the one that made the mess? 😝😂

Ayyyy

(And yes, that genuinely is the track image/graphic for the track on Spotify and other music streaming platforms!)

*looks left, nobody there*

*looks right, nobody there*

"Alright down I go!" 😂

Thumbnail moment! (Also he kinda looks a bit different with his hair like that doesn't he?)

Geoff says in the description of this: "I had a LOT of fun making this one, and I hope ya'll enjoyed it too, despite the um...terrible dancing." It certainly does look like he had a ton of fun with this one, but I beg to differ on the "terrible dancing" bit! He enjoyed himself, he looked amazing, and I love every second of this video! Terrible my foot!

He just looks so happy in this video!!!

Honestly I kinda sorta wanna learn this choreography (or at least parts of it) myself, but I don't exactly have enough empty space in my house to be spinning around a broom like he does at one point here 😅

(And of course I have to give a shoutout to Eli "lighting whiz" Jacobson for the lighting design!)

Speaking of Eli, that's a hella strong eyebrow raise! Eli got competition! 😝

(Also kinda jealous because my eyebrows absolutely refuse to work independently of each other like that, rip)

Right, so the first glove comes on at about 1:24...

(Also lighting change on the curtains in the background!)

Hey there, Jeff! Nothing to see here! 😁

Hi, Jeoph! 😋

I'm not posting a screenshot of it, but if you've seen the video (of course you have, that's why you're here reading this), you know FULL WELL what Jeoph and Jeff are reacting to here 🤣

Geoff really did that, he really put it in the video and everything! (We have to stan, obviously)

Geoff did the chair-walk(?) dance move thing! Not easy to do, especially with chairs like that on a smooth, glossy/shiny floor, and it looks like he only just landed that based on the way it cuts away, but still, I'm impressed!

Jeoph and Jeff are impressed/surprised, too! 😄

And the whole janitor outfit/uniform gets removed at about 1:58, meaning those gloves were worn for just a little over 30 seconds 🤣

(Also nice shirt 👀)

Rip Jeff

Jeoph: Waayyyyy dooowwwnn

Jeff: "wait since when could you sing like that? And when were you going to tell me?" 😂

(Joke stolen from a Youtube comment, just too good)

No amount of screencaps could do it justice but goddamn Geoff's hips do not lie in this video! He got moves! (Sure, he has people to help him with choreography (shoutout to Chris Dupre for this one!), but knowing a choreography routine is one thing; being able to do it and do it well is another)

"Oh uh, hey there boss! What a surprise to see you here! Nothing much happening right now, totally!"

*swoon*

Someone in some Youtube comment, on a reaction video I think, referred to Geoff "flirting with the camera" in this video, and I was like "hey yeah, he's totally flirting with the camera here!" (do it more)

Man, if I had a nickel for every time there was a brown-haired dude living in Florida who was good at singing and sometimes did songs with "clones" of himself, who had different names/nicknames and interacted with each other, well, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice!

(Even weirder is that the other guy used to be one of my previous hyperfixations, and when I eventually got around to watching this video last year, I kind of got a feeling of "oh no it's happening again!" 😂😅)

Yes I love him, what about it?

So apparently the names/nicknames for these three came from the various incorrect ways that Geoff has seen his name spelled. And it's like... okay, "Jeff", yes, I've seen that on a couple or so Voiceplay videos (his name is literally in the description! And there are always comments that talk about him! (but it is still the somewhat more common spelling of the name I guess)), "Goff" is likely just a missed-letter typo, but "Jeoph"? Jeoph??? Who the heck came up with that misspelling? 🤣

"Way onnnnn d o o o w w w n n n n" (subharmonic C1!!!!)

And yes, I've officially hit picture limit, so no screencaps of the mini bonus scene at the end - you'll just have to go (re)watch that part yourself! 😁

Can you believe that Geoff does not only the singing and performing on screen, but also the arranging, producing, and editing for his covers too? And he directs or co-directs them!

This video is 3 minutes of complete and utter serotonin and I love it. I really hope we get to see more of Geoff dancing in 2024, whether on his channel or with Voiceplay. And honestly with the super-wide variety of music content across the two channels, it's entirely possible!

[hellshire-harlot]

Ok people, this is ur invitation to talk about your TES protags/OCs and their coping mechanisms for dealing with The Horrors. I’ll go first!!!

So immediately my girl Discordia is an age regressor. She has been for a while, but didn’t regress often because it’s involuntary and she needs to feel safe to do so. After she’s Guildmaster and things settle a little, she begins to really drop into little space hardcore. All the stuff that Mercer did to her took its toll.

She has three CGs who help her while she’s feeling small- Brynjolf, Karliah, and Vex! The whole Guild knows by this point, but Vex was the first person outside Discordia’s polycule to find out because she finds out about everything eventually. Every once in a blue moon the Guild will be treated to their little Nightingale racing around the Ragged Flaggon with a stolen bit of candy, cackling while one of her carers gives chase.

She’s entirely nonverbal when she regresses, save for laughter and crying. She’s also incredibly mischievous, and loves to grab at stuff and take things randomly, especially food. She has a MASSIVE sweet tooth. Hide your sweetrolls, the little storm cometh. Thanks to her caregivers, she’s able to enjoy happy, peaceful regression, but it’s not always fun and lighthearted. Sometimes she wakes up from nightmares fully regressed, and given the content of her nightmares she is understandably extremely upset.

Oftentimes, the more messy side of her regression happens in private, and Karliah tends to be the one to take care of her. She’s an expert in soothing Discordia when she’s in this delicate state, and Bryn and Vex are of course on standby if they’re needed. Discordia also has a plethora of stuffed animals and comfort items to self-soothe with. She likes to wear light, frilly nightdresses and onesies when small, particularly in yellow or lavender. Her favorite stuffy is a little cloth doll of Nocturnal!

Other than Discordia, Solaria is easily the most visibly scarred by her experiences. This displays itself mostly in avoidance- due to her witnessing the death of Alisanne Dupre, the Listener of Cheydinhal, and the raid of the Falkreath Sanctuary, she has an intense and extreme phobia of fire. Even candlelight makes her uncomfortable to look at. Her homes are primarily lit with magic or firelights that aren’t easily visible, and never by fireplace.

She’s also highly claustrophobic. In between the fall of the Cheydinhal Sanctuary and the events of Skyrim, Solaria joined a cult of Daedra Worshipers for companionship and direction. It was here she completed her transition with the help of magic, and met her first lover. But one of the cultists turned out to be a Vigilant of Stendarr in disguise, and during the night, the sanctum was razed. Solaria hid, terrified, in a niche in the cave walls that was typically covered with banners, and watched as her friends were slaughtered. Enclosed spaces remind her of that tiny niche she forced herself into, particularly the Night Mother’s coffin. When she first was asked to hide inside it, she was absolutely terrified, and almost passed out were it not for the comfort of the Night Mother’s voice. And during the raid, when she had to hide inside the coffin to survive again, she immediately broke down sobbing and hyperventilating from the stress.

She’s no soft-hearted victim by any means, but her scars are deep. Cicero and her Initiates are her main source of support and comfort, along with Babette and Nazir. She rarely breaks down in public (unless something extreme or severe happens to trigger her), but she does tend to lock up. Her main way of venting this tension is through killing, when she channels that terror and trauma into a deadly focus. This is how she killed Gaius Maro. She also takes a great deal of comfort and catharsis from being Cicero’s caregiver when he regresses; a part of her that was lost in her childhood is healed through it.

[carefulfears]

do you have any thoughts on jack willis (and scully and mulder)?

mmm yeah i need to rewatch lazarus but i feel like jack kind of gets overshadowed by daniel a bit (in the same way that phoebe is overshadowed by diana) just because scully was a smidge older and they had a more committed relationship but like...he was still her teacher...and still significantly older than her.

WILLIS: No. It's real. I’ve been on this long enough. I know the difference. Besides, I can feel it. I can feel them. I'm inside their heads.

SCULLY: Just as long as you keep yours.

in their first interaction, willis has brought scully on to his big case, and it's clear that it's because they have an understanding of each other. they're very in-tune with each other, and they get on well.

but she quickly utilizes that understanding to express that jack perhaps has a tendency to "lose his head" (and her first line is "relax")

this is something she reestablishes later to mulder, when she claims that jack's change in personality after his near-death experience could be explained by "the stress of the case...the trauma of being shot...jack's personality..."

MULDER: How well do you know him?

SCULLY: (forced casual) We dated ... for almost a year. He was my instructor at the academy.

(SCULLY keeps walking, MULDER stops and looks at her.)

MULDER: The plot thickens.

SCULLY: (walking back toward MULDER, remembering fondly) We even had the same birthday. We used to celebrate in some dive in Statford that had a slanting pool table. But it was always so hard for Jack to relax. It was impossible for him really. He was always so intense, so relentlessly determined.

lol lol lol. do you think the syndicate knew they were sending miss "i just have to fuck my teacher" to spy on mulder

(how many times over the years does she describe mulder as "relentless"?)

it's almost cute here how she kind of slyly smiles and creeps back to tell him all about her past escapades. she's been very impatient in this episode: someone close to her is hurt. she doesn't want to go talk to mulder's wackjob scientist friends about body-swapping. and she's never told him anything this personal, or about her past, before. they're friends. it's the predecessor to seven years later, her kicking her shoes off on his couch, to tell him all about daniel over tea.

when she sees jack later (it might be dupre in jack's body, but she doesn't know that), she initially demands that he go to the hospital, but quickly acquiesces to what he wants her to do.

and she continues to defend him to mulder, unwilling to believe that there may be anything else going on, other than what she accepts as jack's erratic “personality.” (she would rather accept that jack forgot her birthday, and those times they spent it together, than that he's gone.)

when "jack" calls her to meet him, she comes, despite her misgivings. (she questions him about missing evidence that he'd been carrying). and when he holds her at gunpoint and throws her handcuffs, she restrains herself.

(it almost reminds me of small potatoes, in kind of a twisted way. scully has great instincts. sometimes she quiets them, sometimes she purposefully ignores them.)

it's pretty clear at this point that "jack" isn't actually jack. mulder's theory is most likely correct, he "swapped" with dupre when they both flatlined at the same time. when he interacts with dupre's wife, he knows every personal detail about her, and jack would have no reason to pretend.

i love this part here:

MULDER: (tense) Forget it, Bruskin.

AGENT BRUSKIN: Plus which, the manager just ID’d him and Scully.

MULDER: (really tense) I said forget it, Bruskin.

AGENT BRUSKIN: This isn't one of your X-File theories, is it?

MULDER: It doesn't matter what I think. We’re still after the same thing. 

we talk a lot about the last scene (and i will) but it's already being enforced here. it doesn't matter what i think.

this is the first time, i think, that scully might really be in serious danger?? and it just doesn't matter, it doesn't matter to be right, or to be believed. (there are different kinds, of relentless men).

SCULLY: (into phone) Mulder?

MULDER: (on phone) Dana, are you okay?

SCULLY: (into phone) Don't --- (WILLIS pulls the phone away)

MULDER: (voice, on phone) Dana?

she's "dana" here, for a moment, and i just have to point that out every single time. earlier, she was his friend on a staircase, telling him secrets about her ex-boyfriend. now, she's tied up against a radiator, and he doesn't know where, and they're afraid.

scully starts trying to reason with "jack," using personal details to try to coax him back into himself. (she also says here that he was born in '57, making him exactly 7 years older than her, and in his early 30s to her mid-20s when they dated).

when she tells the story of their fishing trip to his family cabin in a snowstorm, jack flashes to a memory of the snow. she's almost got him. it gets a little dr. jekyll/mr. hyde, as she speaks to him as a loved one, through the lens of the murderer who's overtaken his body.

i love this analysis here:

Yes, I am imagining young Scully bundled up with an older man in the mountains in a violent snow storm, letting him teach her how to fish in the ice, making love in a cabin in a cold dark woods, him wrapping her in a blanket when she got too cold. I love this image as a backstory. It’s so real and human and adds depth which prevents her from falling into the ‘uptight science nerd prude’ she could have been. She's a young woman. Her life is three-dimensional and rich in passion and mistakes.

she's a young woman. her life is so filled with whirlwind affairs. married professors that she runs from. fbi instructors who still wear her love confessions on their wrists. unfailingly relentless men that she follows into basements and alleyways forever and ever.

it makes me think of what she says in never again:

I’ve always gone around in this, uh ... this circle. It usually starts when an authoritative or controlling figure comes into my life. And part of me likes it, needs it, wants the approval. But then at a certain point, along the way, I just, you know .... (makes a STOP motion with her hand)

which....i agree with this post here, i don't think she's talking about mulder, when she says there are "other fathers." he doesn't actually have authority over her, except for what she gives him. (whole other can of worms!)

but it does drive her crazy that he doesn't fit the mold that her father built. for as similar as he is to men like jack willis and daniel waterston, there are 100 other conflicting ways that he's different, and that's what makes it so hard. (first of all, that he's not sleeping with her, even though he could be. he could've been from the motel room in bellefleur. and, especially as the years go on, it's both frustrating and entirely captivating that he's not)

being very brief on All That because i think it's another post entirely, but it's relevant here too. she admits herself, it's a cycle. she is obsessed with authority. she is eternally trying to make her father proud. and here, with jack willis, it's only been a few weeks since she admitted that he died disappointed.

since she admitted that the reason she doesn't believe, is because she's afraid.

and so, now, in lazarus, she's bleeding and handcuffed to a radiator, and she continues to negotiate with her captor as though he's an old lover ("you're my friend. you won't kill me, jack.")

(this is also when mulder listens to the tapes of jack's notes on the case he was working, where jack describes the murderous violent marriage of warren dupre and lula philips as "a love affair i almost envy," for it's disconnect from consequence)

lula reveals herself as the one who turned dupre in, and starts to let jack/dupre get very sick, taking away the insulin that could save him. as mulder starts to close in on their location ("And for those of you who don't know already...this one's important to me. So, uh, let's do it right. Thanks.")

in the morning, as jack dies, he starts to remember. snow. a red stove. wrapping dana in a blanket when the wood ran out. this is the tangible memory that their relationship is rooted in, and it's what returns him to himself, as he flickers in and out, and eventually passes.

SCULLY: (sighs, looks away and sits) What am I supposed to tell myself?

MULDER: (starts to leave) Good night.

SCULLY: (looks at watch) It's not working. It stopped. At 6:47.

MULDER: (turns back to her) The exact time that Jack went into cardiac arrest at the hospital.

SCULLY: What does that mean?

MULDER: It means ... It means whatever you want it to mean. (gently) Good night.

in the end, it doesn't matter. it means whatever you want it to mean. (keep your head.)

[ironicxblue]

Why The Mad Hatter Character Fits Izumi Sena So Well

I said I’d to a whole essay on this and I’m here to do so. Obviously this counts as a headcanon for this as an rp account. But I’m tagging it with the character in general, because it is something that other IzumiP’s might want to read. Or I at least hope so. I’ve got piles of books next to me for this.

So, let’s start off with the basics. The Mad Hatter was a character from Alice In Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. They were originally published in the Victorian times.

Due to the time of writing, it’s often thought that the Mad Hatter was mad due to his profession. Hatters would commonly wind up with mercury poisoning, which could also affect their brain. There’s no confirmation of this within the text. Especially when you consider Wonderland to be a very whimsical world.

The modern adaptation of the Hatter has often taken on a darker tone. Rarely is he shown as whimsical, instead his pride and bad attitude are lifted from the book and instead you tend to find a much more attractive, and sometimes quite brooding character. The possible mental instability also remains, so Hatter is often a dangerous character. From Jefferson in Once Upon a Time, to Blood Dupre in the Alice in the Country Of series, The Mad Hatter is often seen as a character that you don’t want to mess with.

Now, you might be wondering, how does all this relate to Izumi. As a character, Izumi is both incredibly popular but also commonly hated. He’s proud, is supposed to be a yandere but often presents more as tsundere and is often rude to those many consider to be innocent. Sound familiar?

Here are some quotes from the original book that wouldn’t sound strange coming out of Izumi’s mouth.

“Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiousity, and this was his first speech.

“You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; ‘so I think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well- eh, stupid?”

“I don’t think-”

“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear.

(Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll)

As well as that, Hatter enraged Time at a concert for the Queen of Hearts where he was singing on stage. Now, I imagine he wasn’t supposed to be a good singer, but it does highlight that the character was a performer.

So with the Hatter we have a blunt, rude character who has been known to take a turn on the stage and has made important figures mad. The character already fits Izumi.

Now, moving onto the modern interpretations. 

I’ve mentioned how they’re often quite dark, and there are definitely those that fit the yandere trope quite well. These are characters who have quite often lost something and are mad about it. Something has pushed them to brink where others might decry them as ‘mad’ even if their actual mental health isn’t in question. Something has happened to them to make them a ticking time bomb.

That is something we have with Izumi.

We know he’s a difficult character. We know he still holds onto his anger from the war-era. We know he feels guilty about Leo, and there’s also his relationship with Makoto where he’s vastly trying to overcompensate it.

These are aspects of his character which haven’t really been touched in the !! era though. Though Izumi has seemingly moved on from a lot of it, there are definite aspects that he never had closure on. We’ve seen that he still hates Eichi in Sudden Death and the guilt over Leo was still somewhat there in Next Door. Which is the whole reason he dragged him back to Italy with him. 

There is a darkness and a selfishness to Izumi and he feels terrible about it. He has regrets in the past, he has somewhat experienced loss and the way he reacts to things often has people looking at him like he’s strange because he does overcompensate.

At the end of the On the Beautiful Golden Drop music video, we had Izumi pull a horrible face. As someone who likes to be seen as beautiful, this might seem hilarious and out of character. But it works for the role he’s playing. A role he might see as fitting of him. And we also know from Butlers that when it comes to acting he’ll take as many takes as he need to present the character exactly right. So this could just be part of the role. And hell, the Euthanasia story and Little Romance didn’t exactly line up.

But other character stories and center songs since have.

Naru dealt with her feelings for Kunigi and we had a Swan Lake theme for Mystic Fragrance.

Leo’s story for Coruscate Breeze was about how he’s struggling less because he has his friends around and he’s healing. The song and the video was cute, and fun.

So it would make sense that for this Izumi center that we’re dealing with his darker side again. And the Mad Hatter is a great way to showcase this.

We have a beautiful man who sometimes shows an ugly side, who’s mental stability is maybe a little questionable who has lost something in the past and is still dealing with that anger. But hey, he’s still moving around the table, so it doesn’t really matter if someone else gets a worse end of the stick.

This could be great for Izumi and we could see him begin to move on and heal from some things.

But we could also see him go in the other direction, as the Hatter often does, and that too is very exciting.

[midnightlee25]

Random Yandere Headcanons: Having a darling that fights them at every turn

This is set after they take their darling and their darling isn't too happy about their ‘new home’ always trying to hurt the yandere any time they come close. (hitting, kicking, cursing etc.)

Peter White:  

It does hurt but he deals with it believing that one day they will love him. 

He takes whatever they dash at him whether it be words or items that were thrown at them. 

He still stays very sweet with them to try to show he means no real harm. 

He really hangs on to that ‘one day’ they will love him which could make things worse than what he means. 

Blood Dupre:  

He sees their ‘tantrums’ as he likes to put it as making things more fun…. Depending on the day. 

Sure, he would like a sweet darling but one that still has some fight in them does something that makes things different. 

Every day is different since he never knows what they will do or say next. 

However, there are some days when he won't tolerate their “moods”. When those days happen, it's going to be miserable for everyone.   

Vivaldi:  

She would much prefer a sweeter darling and not one that was so….” sour”. 

Yes, she does still love them but will not put up with their words or actions meaning that there is a high chance of many harsh punishments.  

However, after every punishment or a few hours after she will cuddle up to them.  

It's a very messy time when it comes to her having this type of darling. 

[ghostoffuturespast]

Fascinated by "SIG". Tell me more

WIP Game Here

Everything I've written is pretty much already out there, so I'll share something fun.

SIG - So It Goes

Which is the V/River long fic I've been working on lol. It's the only current active writing wip I have at the moment, everything else is just notes.

Fun fact though, some of my favorite things to write are action sequences!

V slid to the side, catching Dupres off guard and off balance. She hooked her upper arm into the crook of his elbow and shit-whipped him into the group of cops and gutter-punks that was passing behind them. They toppled over like bowling pins.

I've been practicing aikido, which is a Japanese martial art, for a decade (10 years, I suddenly feel old) and have a black belt, so it's actually been fun practicing that technical knowledge in a different format. I get a kick out of choreographing things and well Grandpa definitely inherited some of my dance moves, since it's what I know.

In the above snippet, V is doing a technique called sumiotoshi, which is a no-hand elbow throw. I almost never name the techniques when I use, since most readers aren't going to know, so it's been interesting to translate what I feel when I'm practicing into words that'll make sense for other people. Not everything she does is an actual technique, most fights aren't very pretty that way, but it's always fun when I get to sneak one in!

Thanks for the ask! 🧡

[wildflower-otome]

[Translation] Clover no Kuni no Alice ~Promise Red~ Light Novel - Chapter 1

Writer: Sana Shirakawa Artist: 文月ナナ Summary: Sequel to White Calling. By arrangement with the Boss of the Hatter Family, Blood Dupre, Alice is now living temporarily at Heart Castle until the Assembly period is over. However, for some reason, the Prime Minister, the White Rabbit Peter, is behaving strangely and suddenly starts to avoid Alice….. Despite not knowing what he’s thinking, her feelings for him continue to grow—In the midst of their estrangement, what fate does the bewildered Alice choose!?

ACT 1 – What awaited after falling was a white rose

Ever since she had come to this world, she had thought she had already become pretty used to its complete lack of common sense.

It was the case for everyone that lived at the Mansion where she had been staying up until now. A fickle Mafia Boss who was always drinking an excessive amount of tea. A large rabbit who was always craving orange coloured food.  Innocent gatekeepers who loved sharp, pointed objects. Servants who were all equipped with guns. No matter how you looked at it, their behaviour was the furthest thing from what Alice took to be common sense.

However, if one were to continually experience such nonsensicality, you would eventually become accustomed to it. In that sense, Alice had thought that she was fairly adaptable…..though that was both a good and bad thing, to her mind.

That she was becoming gradually less surprised at this situation every time it happened, probably wasn’t good though.

‘Hey, why are you in my bed again…..Vivaldi?’

‘…..Hu-…..ahh? “Why” is rather a cold question, is it not, Alice? As fellow women, there is nothing wrong with us sleeping together, is there?’

‘Now wait just a moment, this is my room after all…..although I am staying here for free.’

Anyone would be surprised to dreamily turn over in their sleep, only to find a black-haired beauty comfortably sprawled next to them.

Nonetheless this wasn’t the first time the Queen of Hearts had found her way into Alice’s bed. 

‘It’s fine, is it not? There is no disadvantage for you in it, is there?’

As she drew Alice nearer and hugged her, Vivaldi smelled, as usual, of roses.

Different from the master of the Mansion’s, a dense and somehow alluring scent of flowers emanated from her entire body.

‘No, but even I’d be startled having someone sneak into my bed over and over again-…..not to mention-‘

When she stretched out her arm a little from within Vivaldi’s embrace, and pulled back the sheets….. the head of yet another person appeared.

The short brown hair made a ‘Mmn?’ noise as it turned around. The voice sounded sleepy, but with Alice raising her voice at a close distance, there was no way he was asleep. He was also another person who was perceptive to the presence of others.

‘Why are you here too, Ace-!?’ Don’t tell me you two planned this together-‘

Alice’s tone was harsh as she complained, and Ace gave a bright laugh as he answered.

‘Hm~, it’s a shame, but I wasn’t thinking about getting friendlier with you and her Majesty, you know? I just got lost while I was in the Castle and ended up in this room by coincidence. Hahahaha-‘

‘Do not joke, we would never plan anything with this one. Even if he got down on his knees and begged, you know we would just drive him away, of course? And if he kept being persistent, we would cut off his head.’

The deep displeasure in the Queen’s voice echoing at her back was clear, but for Alice stuck between the two of them, the whole thing was a massive pain.

Since the first Assembly had ended and she had moved to Heart Castle, about twenty time periods had passed. Alice continued to sleep at night as she had before, but just how many more times would she have to experience this when she woke up?

Even if this was a stay officially sanctioned by her household head, Alice didn’t have the kind of whimsicality to be able enjoy a situation like this.

‘Vivaldi. Please let me go already. I’ve got to get up now…..Isn’t this the evening time period you like so much?’

The sky visible from her window had already changed to the vivid colours of twilight. In this world where the weather remained stable, the colour of the sky always indicated which period of time it was.

‘Hm…..so it is, but…..it feels just so comfortable holding you like this. Let us chase away the nuisance, we wish to nap for just a little while longer.’

As the Queen, still hugging Alice, laughed, the Knight who had just been called a nuisance, complained, ‘You’re so mean, Majesty.’

‘…..You guys…..’

Just as she was thinking on how she could escape this impossible situation-

Bang! With a loud noise, the door to the room was opened. 

Alice was startled as there hadn’t been so much as a knock in warning, but the other two didn’t seem too bothered.

‘What is it, White? We are spending time with Alice. Take this knight that doesn’t know when not to interrupt and get back to work.’

‘…..I do not wish to told that by the chief reason there is so much work left unfinished, your Majesty.’

Bathed in the colours of the setting sun, the White Rabbit was sighing as he looked at his superior and coworker.

The red gingham overcoat he wore appeared even more bright red than usual.

Having come right up next to the bed, the Prime Minister of Heart Castle, Peter White, spoke bluntly.

‘Please hurry up and get out of there. You’re causing Alice trouble.’

‘…..How rude, were it not evening, we would have your head. Right, Alice?’

‘It’s fine, Vivaldi. If you’ve got work, you’d better go.’

Alright? As she spoke with a cute tilt of the head, Vivaldi reluctantly got up. The nightwear she wore displayed her soft curves in a way that even Alice, who was of the same sex, was entranced despite herself.

‘Tch-…..We came here to escape from all that bothersome work, but if you say so, we suppose we must return. But, Alice. In the next break period, you will have tea with us, will you not?’

Red fingertips stretched out in a single smooth movement to trace the girl’s jaw, as she caught Alice up in her gaze.

Lightly touching her hand, the girl gave a shy smile. If the tea party was after she had finished her work, Alice had no reason to refuse.

‘Sure. It’s a promise. So, make sure you finish up quickly.’

‘What a naughty child…..You know well how to motivate us.’

Vivaldi had reluctantly come out of the bed, but the remaining intruder had stayed there lying on his side watching them talk.

‘Ace, hurry up and get back to work too. That’s an order.’

 ‘Aw-. But unlike you Majesty, I don’t have any unfinished paperwork to do?’

‘You also had a match scheduled with your subordinates, did you not? You’re in charge of the military, yet you’re always lost, please at least do the work that’s been given to you.’

‘Tch-…..Guess I’ve got no choice.’

Once Vivaldi clicked her fingers, her outfit had changed to that of her usual red dress.

When Alice turned around, Ace was no longer in the bed. He had picked up and put on the coat that had lain discarded on the floor and was now stretching.

‘It’s nice to give everyone some training now and then or they get bored…..perhaps it’s good timing. See you then, Alice.’

Waving goodbye, Ace left the room, following after Vivaldi.

‘…..…..’

‘Ah.’

This left only the White Rabbit and the girl in the middle of her temporary stay over.

‘Um…..thanks, Peter. You helped me out.’

‘Not at all.’

Once she had said her thanks despite feeling awkward, Peter smiled and shook his head.

But the smile he gave was also awkward. He had never smiled that way up until now.

If he had been as before, and Vivaldi and Ace had snuck into Alice’s bedroom, she wondered what would have happened.

‘It’s unfair, Alice! Why are you sleeping with her Majesty and Ace, and not me!? Please sleep with me-!’

Is probably what he would have said as he barged in.

He didn’t even once try to get into the bed. Rather, he was making an effort not to get any closer to Alice than necessary.

Even though up until now he’d always been following her around, causing her trouble.

Alice herself felt bewildered at how restless she felt having him put distance between them.

‘Peter…..um, after this-‘

‘I’m sorry, Alice. I still have other errands I need to-…..’

‘Huh?’

‘I’ll come again. See you then.’

‘W-wait, just a minute, Peter-‘

Without turning to look back at the hand she had stretched out toward him on reflex, he left the room.

‘……….’

The sound of the door closing with a bang echoed strangely loudly across the room.

‘It happened again.’

Peter had been acting distant ever since Alice had come to stay temporarily at Heart Castle. Even though all her visits until now had begun with him saying stalker-ish stuff like, ‘I love you,’ they hadn’t really spoken, outside of exchanging the bare minimum of greetings.

No—it wasn’t just that, each time he saw Alice’s face, it would end with him hurriedly running away. Like he had just now.

‘…..As if you actually plan on coming by later…..’

A room that did not fare unfavourably compared to the one she had at Hatter Mansion.  A bed that had been installed in the empty space that was far too vast. There Alice sat as she drew her knees up against her and sighed.

Despite being the one to say that he would take her home with him even if it was against Alice��s will at Clover Tower.

She didn’t understand why he had so suddenly become aloof. The fact that she felt lonely at not understanding  him only confused her further.

‘…..Peter…..’

What came into her mind was the face of her first love, and the words he had said to her.

—I’m sorry, Alice. I’ve-…..—

She wondered if she would end up hearing the same words from Peter as well.

Had she hurt him in some way? Or perhaps he hated her now.

‘It can’t be, not Peter, of all people…..’

I like you. I love you. You are the only one I love.

The words of love he had repeated again and again. She had heard those romantic lines any number of times up until now, as if he were a broken record. The words she had always let go in one ear and out the other, thinking nothing of them, now felt nostalgic, almost as if she missed hearing them.

‘…..…..’

The one to guide her to this world had been that White Rabbit. It had also been him who had made her drink the bitter medicine and gotten her caught up in the Game.

It had all begun with Peter.

Following her around like a stalker. The things she said never getting through to those long ears. A clean freak, but for all that, indiscriminately wanting to touch her.

‘…..…..’

It had never occurred to her before.

That Peter would ever put space between himself and Alice.

‘Peter.’

—Weren’t you going to stay with me forever?—

Despite the fact they were now living in the same place, he felt even further away than when she had lived in the Hatter’s territory.

She couldn’t help but feel that even the spark she had seen in those red eyes the night she had been attacked now existed only in her memories.

‘Peter.’

A voice that didn’t reach even when she called out to him, and a back that did not turn around to look at her.

Chilled fingertips that were not held.

Alice still didn’t understand what this stinging feeling, like claws digging into her chest, was.

***

‘Lord White, is it? Yes, I believe he should be in his room at this time period.’

Because he was carrying documents from the trial from the time period just before.

One of the castle’s maids readily answered when Alice asked Peter’s whereabouts.

Though she was currently in the half-baked situation of temporarily staying at Heart Castle, while still being a resident of Hatter Mansion, an enemy territory, there was no change in how the maids whom Alice was friendly with treated her. Rather, it was as if they welcomed her presence.

Not only did she have the traits to be liked by the people of this world, but when she was there the Queen was always in a good mood. 

Nevertheless, they weren’t over the top in their treatment of her. When it came to that sort of thing, they were well acquainted with how to maintain an appropriate distance. 

‘I see, thank you. Sorry for interrupting you at your work.’

Alice was a guest, so it didn’t seem right for her to be getting in the way of the maids’ work. When she apologized for making her stop walking, she vigorously shook her head and said, ‘Not at all-! I am very honoured just to be able to talk to you. It makes me happy.’

‘…..Really?’

‘Yes.’

Her face difficult to see, the maid was one of those called the faceless. However, right now, her cheeks looked as if they were tinged a faint red.

‘It’s said that the people of Heart Castle seem heartless, but right now I feel kind of happy.’

She smiled broadly.

The woman wearing the black maid outfit smiled happily as she spoke and nodded.

Outsiders were those who had the special characteristics to be liked by the people of this world. She had, of course, already experienced being liked by people that weren’t role holders.

‘Is that so? But if I interrupt your work too often, I’ll be a bother to you, won’t I?’

‘Of course not- Please don’t worry, call out to me at any time. You would not be a bother at all.’

Laughing a little awkwardly at the maid’s insistence, Alice quietly began to walk.

The place she was headed was the room of the White Rabbit.

It was a place she had been to many times when she had been at Hatter Mansion. However, since she had started staying at Heart Castle, Alice had not yet entered the gingham checkered room.

The reason why was simple. The owner of the room had not invited her there.

 “Alice-. Ah, you’ve come to see me again! I’m so happy. I was just thinking that I wanted to see you, this must be a miracle of love indeed!”

Up until now, when Alice had visited the Castle, he had often brought her into his room while saying things like that. She had been resistant at first, but halfway through had given up, realising it was futile.

Peter’s face as he gazed at Alice as she rambled on about whatever came to mind seemed so happy you would not think he was the same Prime Minister of Heart Castle infamous for his cold-heartedness. Even if the things she talked about didn’t always properly get through to the long ears, the good will Peter felt for her was obvious to anyone who saw them.

No, perhaps it was already past the level of mere good will.

After all, he was the kind of Rabbit to say, ‘I love you’ over and over regardless of where they were. It wasn’t just once or twice that he had come at her with stalker-like persistency.

Alice had come to Heart Castle almost half-dragged there by that persistency. Since she had come to the Castle, the time periods had already changed about twenty times. It was the first time she had stayed such a long period of time somewhere other than the Mansion.

Alice had never spent more than five time periods away without returning since being in the Country of Hearts, no, ever since the move to the Country of Clover.

Until now she had had her job to do. No, outside of work, she had also made promises to have tea parties with her fickle employer and to play with the twin Gatekeepers.

I have to return to Hatter Mansion by this time.

The limits she had imposed on herself as if it were only natural now no longer existed.

—I don’t mind if you stay over at Heart Castle temporarily.—

During the Assembly period the conflict between Mafia organisations had intensified. Alice hadn’t found the suggestion her head of household had made in consideration of the fact that she had been targeted twice in a row to be a disagreeable one.

However, if she had imagined the situation would be like this…..she wondered whether she would even have come to the Castle at all.

When she came to Heart Castle she had expected that he would spend all his time following her around. She had thought he wouldn’t leave her side for a single time period if she didn’t prompt him not to. She had even imagined herself smiling wryly calling him a troublesome Prime Minister.

However, the level of contact she had with the White Rabbit had suddenly declined ever since she had come from Clover Tower to stay at the Castle. She wondered if she had offended him in some way.

He had never felt this remote to her up until now. And that it made her feel lonely surprised even her.

Of course a person would find it odd if someone who had been acting like a stalker towards them suddenly distanced themselves without any warning. That was why Alice had always thought that it was Peter who was the one who was behaving strangely.

‘Ever since I came to Heart Castle I haven’t really gone out all that much. I haven’t gone to the Forest doors even once either…..maybe that’s why he doesn’t follow me around anymore.’

He couldn’t leave Alice on her own since the doors were leading her astray. He could not entrust her to Hatter Mansion in the state she was in.

That had been what Peter had insisted when he had forcefully brought Alice with him to Heart Castle.

Worried herself about the White Rabbit’s unstable condition, she had gone along with her master’s considerate suggestion but…..she had no idea why Peter had suddenly become distant.

No matter the reason, Alice didn’t want to keep on feeling awkward like this. She had thought she had to talk to him at least once, but it appeared the White Rabbit’s ears were highly efficient at odd times. Whenever he sensed her presence, he ended up disappearing before she realised it.

She certainly did not feel like interrupting him when he was in the middle of work, but she couldn’t remain unbothered when he was purposely avoiding her to this extent.

‘…..-‘

Alice stopped walking at the thought that had risen unbidden into her mind.

‘But that means he’s definitely been avoiding me, for sure.’

Peter, avoiding Alice. Peter, trying to distance himself from Alice.

The words didn’t seem to fit that stalker-ish Prime Minister at all.

So thinking, once she had gone down the familiar corridor she arrived at Peter’s room.

Come to think of it, whenever she had visited before Peter had always been with her, so entering like this by knocking on the door was a first-time experience for her.

Normally it would be the other way around. However, the White Rabbit, who had always welcomed Alice’s visits, had appeared to be delighted to ask her there himself.

But now it was different for the both of them.

The fact that her body had unconsciously tensed was also part of it. She took a single breath to calm herself, then steeled her resolve and raised an arm.

Knock knock.

Standing quietly in front of the door, she knocked. The sound echoed, but there was no response from within.

‘Peter, are you there? I just want to talk for a bit.’

She tried calling out, but there was no response or any signs of someone moving around inside.

From what the maid had said earlier, he had brought his work into his room with him, so if he was really there, there should be some kind of sound. But it was completely silent.

‘……Maybe he isn’t in?’

‘Whatcha doing there, Alice?’

‘-!!’

Hearing a voice suddenly call out from behind, she flinched and shrank in on herself,

turning around in a fluster. 

‘Ace! Don’t get so close and call out from behind me out of nowhere like that!’

‘Hahaha. But even when I got close to you, you didn’t notice me at all. Was just wondering what you were concentrating so hard on, is all.’

Unabashed, the Knight as he spoke nonchalantly appeared to be the same as always. He had a remarkable talent for getting lost, so that was most likely why he was wandering around the Castle yet again.

Because Ace was always continuously roaming about whether inside or outside the Castle, she always ended up meeting him in places she had not expected to.

‘I wasn’t really concentrating or anything like that.’

‘Really? Didn’t seem like you noticed me when I saw you and called out though…..or where you ignoring me?’

He grinned.

His smile seemed as friendly as always, but his eyes looked somehow scary. Like he was only smiling on the surface, but there was no emotion behind it.

She couldn’t help but feel as if she were talking to a mask.

‘I wasn’t ignoring you. I honestly just didn’t notice you were there…..’

‘Then, that means your mind was completely full of something else. If you weren’t ignoring me, that means I wasn’t able to get you to pay attention to me. That’s cold of you, Alice.’

‘…..Ace?’

Using the difference in their physiques to his advantage, the red-wearing body had all at once pushed Alice against the door.

When she averted her gaze to the side, she saw grey-coloured gloves. Both his sturdy arms had been placed on either side of her, causing her to be unable to move.

What Alice saw as she turned her head back towards the Knight to complain were faintly amused looking red eyes.

‘I thought you were just as lost as I am, but looks like I was wrong. You’re no fun at all.’

His voice sounded discontent, yet at the same time somehow lonely.

Hearing him sound that way was so unexpected, Alice’s eyes widened.

‘What, are you saying, Ace?’

‘Well, you know, I had heard that you often got lost in the Forest of Doors. I’d thought for sure that meant you were lost too.’

‘…..No matter how lost I get, I could never be as bad as you.’

The doors’ voices often led Alice astray. The doors of the Forest, and the doors of the Tower…..neither were good influences on her.

‘Anyway, that said…..I’ve got business with Peter. Don’t get in my way.’

‘With Peter?’

‘This is Peter’s room!’

As she tapped the door at her back, Ace looked around him, saying ‘Ahh,’ as he gave a vigorous nod of understanding.

‘I see, so this is Peter’s room. Man, I didn’t realise at all. I had thought this place looked familiar, hahahaha-‘

Hearing the bright sounding laugh, Alice at last relaxed.

She didn’t understand why. But she had unconsciously been afraid of Ace when he had trapped her against the door.

This world had very few people with common sense in it to begin with. Despite knowing full well he was another person that wasn’t normal.

‘…..…..’

For just a moment she had genuinely thought she would be killed.

It wasn’t something she could easily say aloud.

‘Well then, if this is Peter’s room, the training grounds should be somewhere on the level below. I’d better hurry, or everyone will get bored.’

‘By “training”, you mean you haven’t gone yet?’

It was natural for Alice to be surprised. Since he had talked about training and the like in Alice’s room, about ten periods had already passed. Even if he was the Knight of Hearts that could get lost even within the Castle, it was too much.

‘Hahaha. I mean, this Castle really is too big. I get lost before I know it, what a pain.’

‘…..There are limits to things you know.’

At the very least he hadn’t left the Castle.  If he had, since this was Ace, he probably wouldn’t have been able to return for at least ten time periods. Exasperatedly shrugging her shoulders, Alice reluctantly instructed him.

‘If I’m remembering right, you should be able to get to the training grounds if you go straight down this hallway and go down the staircase at the end. Hurry up and go already.’

‘Wow, Alice, you sure know a lot. It’s kinda like you’ve become completely used to this Castle.’

 ‘…..…..?’

There was nothing strange in what he was saying, but to Alice there was something that felt off about the words.

It wasn’t just Peter, Ace had also been a little different ever since the move to the Country of Clover.

Alice didn’t know him well enough to be able to point out exactly what it was, but her intuition was probably not incorrect. Although he was just as friendly as always, recently she had the feeling that he was irritated somehow.

‘You’ve become used to the Country of Clover, and Heart Castle too…..you’re really adaptable. I’m envious.’

‘Ace?’

The expression on his face was cheerful as always, but it felt as if he were being sarcastic.

Why that would be, Alice did not know.

Not responding to the questioning tone in the girl’s voice, the Knight finally backed off with a slight smile. The red eyes that had been a close distance from her a moment ago had now moved away.

‘Well, guess I’ll head on over to where my subordinates are. For my own training, it’s a bit of a worry our soldiers aren’t up to my level but…..guess it can’t be helped.’

Just as Alice was wondering whether to show him the correct route or not as she watched the Knight begin to walk off in the complete opposite direction-

‘Ah, that’s right. Alice. If you’re after Peter, he isn’t in his room.’

‘Huh?’

‘Just before…..not long after the time period changed, I saw him headed towards the garden. Hahaha, there isn’t another rabbit as unique as him in our Castle, so I knew it was him right away.’

Although, I don’t know if he’s still there now.

Leaving those words behind, Ace departed.

‘! Thank you, Ace.’

Even before he had disappeared from view, Alice had begun to descend the staircase she had just come up from.

The reason she instinctively quickened her pace was because of what the Knight had said.

She had no choice but to believe that Peter was purposely not staying in one place for too long. If she didn’t chase after him quickly, he might go someplace else yet again.

‘Peter…..’

I want to be with you forever, always, and at all times-!

That had definitely been what he had said as he tugged on her hand at Clover Tower. That he wouldn’t give over his role as guide to anyone else, that he’d be with her forever and protect her from the doors, those had been his words.

‘Don’t just say whatever you want…..and then go and leave me-‘

The bitter memories of her first love still remained within Alice.

She couldn’t believe that Peter would leave her just as he had. She didn’t want to believe it. She thought that she would be sad if she couldn’t have him close by as a friend.

He didn’t listen to what other people said at all. He immediately shot anyone he didn’t like. But for all that, it was only in the times when he was with her that the White Rabbit seemed unbelievably happy.

You are the only one…..I didn’t want to have disappear on me.

The words she couldn’t say were building up inside her chest. There was a stinging pain in her heart.

A part of her knew that it was odd to feel this way over a sudden change in a friend. But she didn’t care about the reason.

That Peter really might leave her.

Right now, that was what she was tremendously afraid of.

***

Alice left the garden—in the empty space surrounded with red roses the figure of the White Rabbit was already nowhere to be seen.

The gardens of Heart Castle were vast. So much so that just an hour wouldn’t be long enough to search them from top to bottom. She had tried asking the maids and soldiers she knew one after the after, but by the time she realized that at the very least he was no longer in this particular one, the time period had changed.

‘…..Dammit…..Where did he go-‘

She had searched for an hour, but in the end, Alice had been unable to find even so much as Peter’s shadow.

By the time she had arrived at the west garden, having been told that he had been seen there, it was completely deserted.

When she dashed to the south fountain, hearing that he was in the middle of giving instructions to the soldiers there, the soldiers were already carrying out their duties, the person in charge long gone.

Even if she had the stamina of an average person, Alice did not have the endless energy someone like Ace had to be able to continuously wander around.

Having spent so much time walking about without stopping, her legs had begun to swell. They felt too heavy for her to be trying to walk back to her guest room.

In order to recover her strength, she sat down on a bench that had been placed in the hallway.

‘Since this is Peter we’re talking about, I don’t think he would have left the Castle…..wha-!?’

Just as she was muttering to herself. Alice’s green eyes widened in an instant.

A shadow had been reflected in the large mirror at the end of the hallway. Alice definitely had a feeling she had seen a red shadow pass through the hallway she had just been walking in a moment ago.

‘It couldn’t be-…..!’

As she got up, the heaviness of her legs forgotten, she immediately began to run. She knew that it was bad manners to run inside the Castle, but right now she couldn’t afford to be polite.

 Sprinting back down the hallway she had left just a few seconds ago, she looked to the left.

There—she saw the figure of a young man with long ears wearing red clothes. Perhaps not having noticed Alice, the familiar white hair was walking away at a relaxed pace.

‘Peter!’

‘-!?’

Her voice came out louder than expected as she called out, determined to stop him, but it had without a doubt reached his long ears.

Alice did not fail to notice that the white ears had twitched and trembled.

‘I want to talk to you, do you have a bit of time right now to-…..huh!?’

Whereupon an unexpected development occurred before her eyes.

‘P-Peter! Where are you going-!‘

There was no way he hadn’t heard Alice call out to him, but of all things the White Rabbit had broke into a run, continuing on in the same direction he had been headed. He hadn’t even so much as turned around.

‘W-Wait, Peter!!’

For just a moment she had frozen in place at his reaction.

Who would have thought. That the person who had always been chasing after her, would suddenly run away without even looking at her…..there was no way she could have predicted such a sight.

She chased after the White Rabbit who had panicked and begun to run, but he was faster than she was. Little by little, the distance between them grew.

‘…..-, Please wait, Peter, stop!’

Having already spent so much time searching for him, Alice was reaching the limits of her strength. Her legs seemed about to give out from under her, and even her hair was a mess.

 Even so, she didn’t stop pursuing the White Rabbit she had at last found.

‘…..…..’

He was fast. The phrase “fast as a fleeing rabbit” existed, but the speed at which he ran was abnormal. Even so, perhaps she could say that it was rather impressive he didn’t bump into any of the soldiers or maids that he passed by on the way.

Alice on the other hand, sweating profusely, didn’t even have the time to apologise to the people she had run into.

Scolding her trembling legs, Alice once more raised her voice.

‘If there’s something you want to say to me, then say it-!! Don’t run away-!‘

He had to have heard her. Each time Alice’s voice echoed out, the long ears reacted slightly.

‘-!’

‘Peter!’

Don’t leave me behind.

Alice could have said the words. However, she wasn’t able to.

If she said that to him, and he still didn’t stop. If he pretended that he hadn’t heard her.

“Alice, I’m so sorry, I-….”

“I’m sorry, Alice, I’ve-….”

‘…..…..-’

It was déjà vu. It frightened her that it wouldn’t be wholly unexpected if he were to say the same sort of things as those phantom voices.

However, the White Rabbit didn’t stop running.

At this rate, it would be a matter of which happened first, Alice reaching her limits, or him making a successful escape. It would probably be both. Either way, it didn’t appear that Alice had any chance of catching Peter.

There was now no longer any trace of the girl’s usual composure. Desperately forcing her legs to move, rallying her body as it seemed on the verge of collapse, Alice was running.

She wasn’t thinking at all about what she would say once she caught up to him. By chasing him, and seeing his face—she just wanted to lessen the distance that had opened up between them, even if it was by just a little.

It might be because Alice didn’t want to accept that there was any distance she couldn’t close, no matter how she were to run and run.

‘…..Alice.’

Perhaps the White Rabbit had noticed that the girl hadn’t stopped chasing him despite her flagging strength. After turning around for just a moment, he suddenly dove into a nearby room.

Completely absorbed as she was in running, Alice didn’t have the capacity for calm decision making. The person she was chasing had gone into that room. That was the only fact her mind was able to register.

‘Peter-! I’m not letting you get away-!’

Despite being a guest, she was fairly knowledgeable when it came to the layout of the large Castle. The room he had entered was one of the guest rooms. And, although she wasn’t sure exactly which level they were on right now, at the very least she knew it wasn’t the ground one. He wouldn’t be able to escape by running outside.

Bang!

Opening the door with all her strength, Alice at last came to a stop.

‘P-Pe-…..ter…-. Wh-Where are you-…..-!?’

Her voice seemed to stick in her completely dried out throat. The metallic taste spreading throughout her mouth was probably blood that had gushed out from where capillary vessels had split. She felt awful, but right now she didn’t have the time to leisurely be drinking tea.

Still breathing hard, she looked around her, but the bright red clothes wearing White Rabbit was nowhere to be found.

‘Wh-Where…..did he…go?’

Roughly wiping away the sweat pouring down her forehead with the back of her hand, Alice looked from side to side. Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it. Her arms no longer had any strength left in them and felt heavy, as if they didn’t belong to her.

If he were a normal person, the number of places he could hide would be limited, but in any case, Peter had another form he could take. Just as the Gatekeepers had child and adult forms, he could change from human to rabbit form.

If Peter were in rabbit form, starting with the closet, there were an infinite number of spots that he could hide.

‘…..…..’

As to be expected of a guest room of Heart Castle. Just like the room Alice had at Hatter Mansion, it was more than big enough.

She took a general look around, underneath the tables and in all the storage spaces, but didn’t find a trace of either the white ears or the red clothes. She had made sure to close the door, so if he had left the room while Alice had been concentrating on her search, she still would have noticed straight away.

In other words, either he was still in the room or—he had gone outside using a hidden route unknown to her. It had to be one of the two.

‘If I’d known this was going to happen, I would’ve asked Vivaldi about hidden passageways-’

‘…..…..’

Perhaps because it was a noon time period, the light coming from beyond the curtain was warm and gentle. There was no obvious shadow reflected behind it.

While thinking that it couldn’t be, when she put her hand to the window, she noticed that it was unlocked.

‘Peter, are you there?’

Klack.

Opening it, she went out onto the balcony. Red roses were in full bloom in the garden below her, but the White Rabbit she was searching for was nowhere to be seen.

However, the fact that the window had been unlocked meant that someone had to have opened it. The maids of the Castle were all diligent in their work, so it wasn’t likely that they had carelessly forgotten to do it. In a situation where the enemy Mafia group might come to attack them at any time, it was impossible they would do something so negligent.

 As she leaned against the balcony railing to look down on the garden below, there didn’t appear to be anyone else around. 

Height-wise she was probably about three floors up. Alice certainly couldn’t see herself jumping down from this kind of height, but when it came to the physical abilities of those called role holders, her common sense didn’t apply. Peter probably would have been able to jump and land safely without any problems.

Feeling her heart rate settle down a little at last, she gave a small sigh.

‘Peter….why are you avoiding me like this?’

Before, even when she had come here to see the Queen or the Knight, he had always shown up uninvited and clung on to her.

Even when she’d told him she didn’t have any business with him and to let her go, he didn’t listen saying, ‘Alice, I love you. I love you so much-‘ again and again.

Even though back then when he’d been stuck to her like glue, he’d just been a pain, and truth be told, an annoyance.

Now, simply not having him close by was making her anxious.

Even though he had brought her to Heart Castle with such a worried look on his face.

‘…..You’re an idiot, Peter.’

Alice’s thoughts kept getting more and more negative.

Maybe he really did hate her now. No, if that was the case, considering his personality, he probably would have pointed his gun at Alice for chasing after him.

Along with a cold look in those red eyes.

Alice still didn’t know what he wanted to do, and at the same time neither did she know what she wanted to do with him.

It was just, at this very moment, she strongly felt that she wanted to see the White Rabbit. See him, and then have him smile at her, just like he always had until now.

If he had really meant the words he had repeatedly said, ‘I want to be with you forever’-

Then, she wanted to see him—right now.

‘Where are you, Peter?’

Sighing, she turned away from the balcony railing. The sky above her as she looked up at in a daze was so bright that it irritated her. Unresolved feelings still within her, it almost seemed to be laughing at her.

However, she was disillusioned with herself for thinking such a thing. To be taking out her emotions on even the weather, there were limits to how pathetic one could be.

Just at the moment she was shaking her head with self-loathing-

The girl’s long hair gently blew upwards. Surprised, she tried to hold it in place, but was unable keep all of it down.

‘…..The wind.’

Before the move, the wind rarely blew. In this world that was always good weather, rain did not fall, and there was usually not so much as a cloud in the sky.

It was very strange for the wind to be blowing like this. Remembering what the master of Hatter Mansion had said, perhaps it was an effect of the Country itself having become unstable due to the land having moved.

The wind was by no means chilly, but she had a feeling her sweat-drenched body had suddenly become much colder than before.

Just as she let go of the railing as she shivered, thinking it might be time to head back inside-

Whoosh, a stronger gust of wind than any she had ever felt before blew right at her.

‘Kyah-!’

The sudden high wind lifted her whole body. Panicked, she tried to grab hold of the railing, but exhausted as she was from all the running she had done, there was no strength left in her arms.

At the moment she realised her field of vision had tilted, Alice’s body had already been pushed out from the balcony.

‘!!’

An empty space, with nothing to tie her down.

Her apron dress billowed out, but she didn’t have the leeway to hold it down.

As her field of vision whirled round and round she saw a red garden, and a red castle. And—a blue so vast it seemed about to crush her.

Surrounded by the many different colours—she was falling towards the ground.

‘Kyaah-!?’

Body frozen, a scream spilled out from Alice’s lips. She reflexively closed her eyes.

What would happen if she fell from three floors up. It was obvious. If she was unlucky, she would die instantly, but even if luck were on her side, she wouldn’t be able to avoid serious injury. And not just that, since she had expended almost all her energy running around, she was unable to take up a proper falling stance.

Just as when she had first come to this world, it appeared that Alice and falling had a fated connection whenever Peter was involved. Although that was a fact she was not at all grateful for.

‘-‘

So that she would at least not hit her head, she hunched her shoulders, tightly curling her body in on itself. Although mid-air, she was not necessarily able to move herself into position as nimbly as she would have liked, it was better than doing nothing.

After all—Alice still hadn’t been able to say anything to him yet.

Searching, running.

Even if it meant chasing after him herself, unlike the first time she had fallen into this world.

She had to catch the running Rabbit.

 ‘Alice!’

‘-‘

Just as she closed her eyes against the feeling of falling, she felt she heard a strained sounding voice call out. The almost phantom-like voice came from below her.

When she opened her eyes that had been so tightly closed, she saw a white rose blooming in the red garden.

No, it wasn’t possible the red Queen would have allowed a white rose to exist in the Castle she ruled over.

‘Peter!’

The White Rabbit she had not been able to reach, despite all the time she had spent chasing after him, was now below her eyes.

Whether the reason she had unconsciously stretched out her hand was to grab hold of him, or to seek his help. That was something not even Alice knew.

‘…..-‘

The only thing she knew was that despite her expectations of a hard impact, something soft and warm had caught her up.

Landing with a loud thud, she had fallen down onto the ground. However, it did not hurt.

‘Alice, are you alright!? Ah, you’re completely covered with dirt…..A-Are you hurt anywhere, Alice?!’

Despite being considerably more dirt covered than her, pinned as he was beneath her, as usual, the White Rabbit only saw Alice.

Brushing back hair that gotten on the girl’s face with his fingers, he stared intently at her.

Red eyes that only reflected Alice in them, to the point that it was frightening.

The girl drew a breath at the depth in that gaze—and then, gripped tightly onto his clothes.

‘…..I’m not hurt. What about you, are you alright?’

‘It doesn’t matter about me-. Besides, catching you is but a trivial-…..Gwah-!?’

‘Ah, I see. Very good then.’

Smiling broadly, Alice yanked the tie Peter wore around his neck, pulling it tight.

‘Not even I would want to interrogate an injured person. But if you’re fine, looks like we might be able to have ourselves a nice chat.’

Glaring head on at the White Rabbit as he made noises as if he were finding it hard to breathe, she brought her face closer to his.

She was smiling on the surface, but on the inside, rather than relief, emotions that she had no name for had been whirling around in her chest for quite some time.

Until she’d seen Peter’s face, she’d been so anxious she couldn’t stand it. She had been afraid that he had grown tired of her and would reject her.

However, she could tell. Right now, Peter was the same as he had always been, the Rabbit who revolved his world around Alice, not caring even about his own self.

That was why, even though she’d been so anxious a moment ago, she was able to question him with her usual confidence.

‘You’ve been acting weird ever since I came to Heart Castle. What, do you hate me that much? Do you not even want to see my face, Peter?’

‘Wha-! Wh-Why would you say something so absurd!? I love you-! Has someone been telling you bad things about me-…..-Guh-!’

‘Don’t put the blame on someone else!’

Once more pulling tight the necktie she had let loose, Alice closed in on Peter, still lying on top of him.

‘You’re the one who’s been running away every time you saw my face. Even when I was having tea with Vivaldi and the others you never showed up. You were always running up to me as soon as you could, but now you don’t even want to be near me.’

‘Alice…..’

‘Well, I suppose you were always over the top with the hugging and stuff to begin with, so maybe this is only normal but…if you were going to dial it back, don’t do it so suddenly, um, that is……’

Her voice was gradually growing smaller and smaller.

As the words she was saying fully registered in her mind, Alice was able to think a bit more clearly.

Even though he’d always been persistently clinging on to her, he had suddenly become distant. Without saying why, or what he meant by it.

However—it had been Alice herself who hadn’t liked that he’d distanced himself.

What she was saying now made it seem like she’d missed him. As she realized that, her face turned bright red.

‘You’re the one that said you’d protect me forever.’

This was all strange. It shouldn’t have been this way. She was pretty much acting like a sulky child.

That she’d been lonely without him, made her feel that there had to be something wrong with her.

‘…..I’m sorry, Alice. I wasn’t avoiding you.’

‘You’re lying.’

When he saw her face, he had turned his back on her.

When she’d called out to him, he had acted aloof and walked away.

What other way could such behaviour be described, other than avoiding her?

All the same, as Alice glared at him, the White Rabbit quietly shook his head.

There was dirt on his white cheek. The Rabbit who was white as snow, had gotten a little dirty. The Rabbit who loved cleanliness more than anything, who did not taint himself with anything other than her.

‘I was just…..so happy, I didn’t know what to do.’

‘Huh?’

‘I was so happy…..I couldn’t even think.’

A dirtied face. There was a single speck of dirt on the face of the White Rabbit, who never had a single speck of dirt on him.

She wondered why she hadn’t noticed up until now that his cheeks were slightly flushed.

‘Alice,’ calling her name, Peter stretched out a hand. The white gloved hands brushed her hair back.

‘Ah.’

She felt as if her heart had skipped a beat as his fingers combed through her disheveled hair, trying to smooth it down. She was unable to take her eyes off the face in front of hers.

Seeming bashful, yet smiling as if happy, the White Rabbit continued to speak.

‘You’re here at the Castle. You did say that it was just temporary, but all the same, to be living in the same place…..I was just so happy when I thought about it…..that I grew afraid.’

‘…..…..’

‘I thought that I wanted to make you happy forever. If you are in this world, you can become happy. That was why, I was glad just to have you in this world.’

Red clothes swayed in her line of vision.

‘…..Peter.’

As he quietly pulled her close and hugged her, she became unable to see his face.

The face she had wanted to see so much was on the other side of hers. Even though she had thought that when she saw it, she would question and scold him.

She was enveloped in the warmth of his body close to hers and the sound of a ticking clock.

‘But, having you so near…..when I thought that I wanted to stay this way forever, to be even closer to you, it frightened me. Not knowing what to do to have you by my side for even just a little, I couldn’t approach you.’

A warm embrace.

There was a clear difference in the way he held her from when he had hugged her without holding back in the past.

Like he wanted to imprison her inside his arms, but was frightened, not wanting her to hate him, that was the kind of heat they had.

‘I’m a greedy rabbit, aren’t I.’

‘That’s…..not true.’

At his voice sounding as if he were giving a pained smile, Alice could only shake her head slightly.

There was nothing greedy about it at all. It was normal.

To wish for the happiness of the person you loved.

To feel as if you wanted to become a little closer to them.

The anxiety of not knowing what to do.

Alice herself had also felt similar emotions.

‘I get the same way too.’

‘…..You do?’

‘Yeah.’

Nodding yes, she closed her eyes.

—She wondered why. Whenever she was with Peter, she felt the same atmosphere as those gentle Sunday afternoons.

Her smiling sister, and the acceptance she had felt despite the feeling of disquiet she had had when with her.

When she was with him, she became conscious of the space that should have been dearer to her than anything else. Though she should have known herself that there was no longer any going back.

‘But…..if you suddenly grow distant, it makes me more anxious instead.’

She wanted to wrap her arms around his red clad back. That was what she thought, but she held herself back.

She mustn’t hug Peter back. If she did, he would respond.

Because if she embraced the White Rabbit, after that, Alice wouldn’t know what to do.

‘I told you before, that I’ll be at Heart Castle until the Assemblies are over. While I'm here, if you keep avoiding me like now, even I’d feel sad.’

Because we’re friends.

It was different from being best friends. Although it wasn’t the same, Alice was aware that the affection she felt for him was the kind you felt for the person closest to you.

But, this wasn’t love. She didn’t want to think that it was love.

She liked him, and he was important to her but—she didn’t want her feelings to become that sort of emotion.

‘Be like you were before. And I'll do the same.’

‘…..Alice…..’

‘Alright?’

Moving back a little, she put her hand to his white face. As she wiped away the dirt that was still on it, Alice smiled.

‘I’m by your side right now, aren’t I? Peter.’

She musn’t let this white and too pure Rabbit love her, who was not pure at all.

She didn’t want to dirty him. She wanted him to stay pure.

But, she did want to know what he was thinking. She wanted to know why his thinking had become cowardly, why he’d suddenly grown afraid despite clinging to her so often in the past.

Though once she did know, the things Alice could do wouldn’t amount to much. Even so, to repress her desire to know would require considerable effort on her part.

Once she found out the truth, Alice would doubtless make another mistake. That was why she forced down the anxiety and doubts she felt inside her.

‘Don’t distance yourself from me, Peter.’

That's right, if they could maintain the same distance as before, she would be fine with that.

Because if she were to get any closer to such a white being, she would surely taint him.

[deathsbestgirl]

okay it’s time i talk about LAZARUS. i just think this is a very underrated episode. cuz where fire showcases the differences between scully & phoebe green, lazarus does the opposite and broadcasts mulder’s & jack willis’s similarities — painting mulder as scully’s ~type~ and it makes me want to scream. it is SO aggressive. and while i think cc didn’t want the romance to overtake the show (he knew very well their relationship & chemistry were extremely important) the fact this episode made it through him & aired is no accident. (also team cc was in love with dd & ga and was just as into mulder & scully as any of us. but he’s stubborn & was too steadfast in not sexualizing ga/scully [mostly] or their relationship but i digress.)

the first scene actually kills me. her conversation with willis sounds so much like one she would have with mulder, and i’m not good at identifying straight flirting whatsoever (mulder & scully do NOT fall into that category lol)

i can feel them; i’m inside their heads.

just as long as you keep yours.

message received, agent scully. loud and clear.

THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM. the way he says this is FLIRTING. and as serious as he can be about it. more him than her but i love it because it’s not about taking it anywhere. it’s the flirting of two people who used to date & know each other & still have a good friendship. like idk, it’s just so sweet. (and like the foreshadowing — as in obviously the whole case but later when mulder is listening to his tapes?? he already didn’t ~have~ his head. AND this is another reason i love this case, because at the end of the day, the viewer gets to decide what the “truth” was. because i think everything lines up for willis being in so deep & the trauma causing his erratic behavior OR it very well could have been dupre as mulder believes.)

what i love about scully is she dated this man, she cares for him, they have maintained some kind of friendship & professional relationship — and it doesn’t seem like she holds anything against him. like she genuinely still likes & cares for him and i love seeing “failed” relationships where there’s no animosity between them. they just. didn’t work out romantically and they accept each other as they are and ??? this actually is a little gay. but anyway. what i really wanted to say was how scully’s sincerity & genuine caring always blow me away. i love her.

SO when dupre shoots willis — scully shoots the man THREE TIMES. and the look on her face. she is absolutely enraged. it wasn’t merely professional. that was personal. (and it pales in comparison to what scully does for mulder but a little taste, showing it’s something consistent with the men in her life.)

[side note — i’ve watched this a million times and every time i was confused by dupre’s real face lmao every time i was like “who tf is this guy”]

[scully’s type: older, some authority over her, extremely intelligent, passionate, driven. who she greatly respects & typically respects her. workaholics. good hearts, tender souls. the three men we actually see fit this in their own ways but literallyyyyy jack & mulder are so similar it’s A Lot.]

i love that anytime scully walks into a medical setting, she acts like she owns the place and she does whatever she has to to override the actual doctors in charge. incredible.

i’m a doctor. go up to 400 or i’ll do it myself.

and i extra love this one because obviously she was assisting on this case to help her friend, but not working with mulder is already extremely wrong at this point (after squeeze) that she immediately brings mulder in as soon as she has a good excuse. incredible.

i love every exchange with mulder & scully in this episode because the way the butt heads over theories is just. THEM. and i’m sorry but scully’s make perfect sense & they fit and this coming on the heels of beyond the sea and “i’m afraid to believe” is really special. she’s most afraid to believe (i think?) when it’s close & personal. for her or for mulder. and we get to see the fear up close & personal this time around, and yeah, hidden behind some skepticism but i think this is the first time it’s obvious that it’s fear.

two men died in that crash room, scully. one man came back. the question is…which one?

sometimes it seems like mulder is being an ass, so obsessed with the paranormal & lacking empathy. but really, he only focuses on the paranormal & pushes his theories when he really thinks he’s right (which is a lot of the time, but he is willing to concede [thanks to sculy] when the evidence truly doesn’t line up). and it works because they both compartmentalize and scully needs that on a case like this.

[also, it seems unnatural for scully to call him willis. jack rolls off her tongue so intimately and it feels similar to mulder & scully using their last names. an intimacy for them, and a very private, special intimacy when they use each other’s first name. they don’t typically let anyone hear them say it. do you know what i mean? the way they make names so personal & intimate on this show is kinda wild to me. especially interesting in season two when mulder meets her family.]

the humor when they go see dr. varnes is top tier. he tells the story about the pilot (a truly horrible thing) and mulder just says “that’s a nice story” lmaoooo

(i also always want to know if the science is accurate. scully talking about near death experiences? what varnes says about the burst of energy? i know absolutely nothing about any science but god i wish that was a special interest of mine sometimes lol)

and my favoriteeeee part. scully telling mulder about willis.

…jack’s personality.

how well do you know him?

we dated for almost a year. he was my instructor at the academy.

the plot thickens.

[scully takes a second to decide on how to proceed — it’s so cute] we even had the same birthday. we used to celebrate in some dive in stafford that had a slanted pool table. but it was always so hard for jack to relax. it was impossible for him, really. he was always so intense, so relentlessly determined.

do you believe he’s predisposed to this type of psychotic episode?

i believe it’s a long way from saying jack had a near-death experience to saying his body’s been inhabited by warren dupre…a long way

like. we see mulder open up about his personal life, and they typically answer each other’s personal questions. but this conversation exposed so much. who is scully describing — jack or mulder? it’s just so good. also!! mulder’s little smile as she talks.

[willis showing up at lula’s brother’s place — jack would know about him]

when willis actually shows up at the scene as the investigative team is there — scully doesn’t seem surprised by jack’s behavior [her frustrated ~jack~ as he’s ranting about the case] and he listens to her about the medical evaluations. like yeah, dupre could have been a decent actor & good at reading the room but that moment looked a lot like the jack we saw in the first scene.

mulder playing his tricks, trying to get evidence for scully. and learning her birthday if he didn’t already know it. two birds, one stone. very mulder lol (see also: stakeout dates, weekend case dates, dinner & going over casefiles)

and their fingerprint evidence is gone…obviously jack had it. (tbh this whole thing reminds me of episodes in other cop shows where the investigator gets in too deep & “becomes” the perpetrator. happens later on the x files too, grotesque?) mulder is exasperated. because he’s trying so hard to speak her language — science & evidence. (but it isn’t anger or resentment!!!!!!)

and what’s so special about these two — scully is always listening to mulder even when she doesn’t agree or believe what he does. because she values him & what he has to say. she knows he’s a good investigator even if his theories are “out there” and he still finds important information & evidence that will lead to the truth / closing the case.

and SO she asks willis about the missing fingerprint, and she goes off with him to find lula. (he actually asks her, so was he already plotting to take her? and she goes despite being confused by his behavior at this point. not the same as her earlier concern for his well-being…)

the little bit of capable woman helping useless man in a typical couple way — willis doesn’t remember the address or name of the guy and she has to tell him. this is such a couple thing it kills me. also…has this not happened with mulder & scully at some point too? which is just funny because mulder’s memory is obnoxious. but he definitely absorbs information he ~cares~ about a lot better.

his dopey smile when he sees lula is a red flag FOR SURE. but i think scully can find it believable because of how long he’s been working the case, determined to catch them.

but god i hate this. because scully is so hurt by everything that happens next. this is a man she cares about deeply, taking her hostage, physically hurting her, being cruel. something i don’t believe jack ever did to her. and i think she doesn’t know what to believe, but she can’t believe it isn’t jack. that is terrifying because her chances of getting through to him, of escaping mostly unscathed, of surviving … greatly diminish. so through it all, she calls him jack, tries to remind him of who he is, talks about their relationship, uses her medical background to help him, etc etc.

and god. agent bruskin. i really like him. he starts to question mulder about his x time theories, and mulder is just. so great. “it doesn’t matter what i think. we’re still after the same thing.” and he keeps going along with mulder.

willis calling mulder from her phone…

let me talk to her

mulder?

dana, are you okay?

don’t…

dana?

one of the only times he uses her first name in front of someone. and only the second? time we see it. the first time being beyond the sea…

(okay wait the way she tries to convince him he’s jack — she starts with facts. his name, his address and then when he isn’t moved, she goes more personal. she’s so sad & scared when he presses the gun against her. and when she realizes he’s drinking soda, she plays into him being dupre just a little to try to save him.)

mulder !!! listening to willis’s tapes. “i feel myself getting into their heads and i’m scared by what i’m feeling. the intoxicating freedoms that comes from disconnecting action and consequence. theirs is a world where nothing matters but their own needs, their own impossible appetitive and while the pleasure they derive from acts of violence is clearly sexual, it also speaks to what warden jackson called their operatic devotion to each other. it’s a love affair i almost envy.” this whole thing — for one thing, i think it sheds so much light on why scully believes what she does. so at the very least, he’s understanding her perspective more. and i think he understands how willis could have gone too deep. we don’t ~really know what profiling & vcu we’re like for mulder, but i bet there are threads of it he empathizes with. i think mulder was able to do it without becoming it, his issues were something different, but i’m sure he witnessed at least one agent going over the edge.

i’ve talked about it before but i love mulder in this episode and how he operates once she’s missing & then confirmed willis has her. yes, he believes it’s dupre. but he slips back into his profiling & vcu days — more typical investigation, trying to play well with others, following protocol…and he is the one who finds what they need to find her & save her. and his emotional state is a stark difference to her season 2 abduction. he’s still frantic, but quietly. with his panic face.

you listen to me — you lay one hand on scully, and so help me god

literally the number of times they say “scully” in such a short conversation — her name carrie’s so much meaning. he will do ANYTHING to get her back. and i think that’s why he falls back on what’s reliable in these cases. he’s so good at this. his golden boy days and i LIVE for when we get to see this mulder. i wish it happened more. because he’s a damn good agent. and he can follow the rules. but the rules aren’t always helpful and that’s how he ended up on the x files. yes, his sister. but also because he’s willing to go as far as it takes to help the people the world’s forgotten about & buried.

bruskin defending mulder to the other agents !!!! yes, good man. as mulder deserves.

for those of you who don’t know already, this one’s important to me. so, uh, let’s do it right. thanks.

literally his panic face is steadfastly in place the entire time she’s gone. if you don’t know him, you don’t know this. but i think bruskin has picked up on it and he *does his damn job*

the relief, the glimmer of happiness scully gets as jack starts coming back to her…the way he falls unconscious and she ~sees~ dupre taking hold. PAIN just so much pain. “no, no”

but they’ve found her, they’re so close when jack grabs the gun from lula. and scully desperately wants to stop jack murdering this woman.

as soon as mulder sees dupre & lula aren’t a threat, he goes to scully. and she’s honestly traumatized…

now this last scene. he brings her jack’s watch, a gift she gave him. she tells him more about jack. she doesn’t know what to tell the kid jack was a big brother to…

what am i supposed to tell myself?

good night.

it’s not working. it stopped: at 6:47.

the exact time that hack went into cardiac arrest at the hospital.

what does that mean?

it means…it means whatever you want it to mean. good night.

i’m not sure if i interpret this differently than others — because yeah, i think mulder is disappointed she doesn’t believe when it seems so obvious to him, and after “jack” took her hostage, how could she not believe — but i think mulder remembers their conversation in beyond the sea. he knows this isn’t the time to push her, she’s grieving and struggling. but at the same time, he can’t be the person she leans on. he can’t help her with this. so he does the only thing he can and let’s her know it’s okay to believe what she wants to believe. this was personal to her. and while believing in beyond the sea was a small comfort, the idea she could hear one last message from her father, this is a very different case. believing the fantastic wouldn’t be any comfort except that maybe it wasn’t jack causing her pain. but the idea that she lost him in that er, that she didn’t even come close to saving him — that completely shakes her foundation. he saw her anguish over this loss firsthand.

i honestly don’t know if mulder saw the similarities between him & willis, but i find it hard to believe he didn’t. and seeing what this man did to her (like emotionally) is probably a lot to swallow.

SO i love this episode. i think this one of the best cases of ~you decide who was right. you decide what the truth is~

but no matter what, there is no way mulder resents scully for not believing his theory. he is kind & thoughtful, he knows she’s afraid. he isn’t trying to force his beliefs on her. they are both trying to find the truth & prove it. that’s their nature, that’s their work, that’s their relationship. and it works because they both bring the necessary pieces to do it.

[maguro13-2]

The Dark Beginnings ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 0 (5/6) ~

[Scenario : Courage - Fumie Kumatani, Warsaw Philharmonic]

*Rumbling+Perfect Chaos Roar*

Eruka Frog : I don't like the sound of it! If she combines the anger and Sadness to unleash the power of Shattered Resonance, we're history and so does PSO! We can't let that happened!

Ashley : Right! Which is why need to find a way to calm Kimial down before Shattered Resonance will be unleashed and this entire place inside of an MMO will be cleaned out! I gotta find a way to calm Kimial Down! [thinking] What to do? What to do?

Eruka Frog : Hurry! There isn't much time left! We need thinking thoughts straight and get ourselves in the game! Rupika, do you know how can you find a place to calm herself down?

Rupika : I know just a place!

[scene later transits]

[Rose Confession - Hideaki Kobayashi, Yutaka Minobe]

Ashley : Huh? This place? It feels familiar. So this is...where the Humarl was at. Rico was it? An NPC who went missing after being possessed by the big bad himself, Dark Falz. I heard that she was one of the first known HUmarls that wanted to be a part of the Hunter class, but Sonic Team denied when Sonic himself reported Rico was the missing Humarl that fans of Sonic really need. But thanks to Dark Falz's shenanigans, Sega love to have the nerves to make female characters dead. That's why equality is the thing we needed before the law.

Rupika : Uhh, that's referring to the state of Nebraska.

Ashley : Right, which is necessarily not in order. So, here we are. This is where we need to calm our nerves down. I mean, Kimial's nerves down. Hopefully calmness will help her lower her Shattered Resonance. This might help her do some therapy. I heard that one secpter that has the power to control the four vibes. The Vibe Secpter.

"Long before the Ohkuboverse was created, outside of Real World AU, there was a powerful Sorcerer that offered Angel vibe to give him the powerful staff that control's one vibe and he call it the Vibe Secpter, it is a powerful weapon that has granted it's own wishes by uniting the four vibes into one great warrior. So with the Vibe of Light's aid, Vibe secpter became a great success as it is the most powerful to control anyone's powerful vibes that are the emotions of hearts; Burning Rage, Sorrowful Sadness, Joyful Glee, and Calmness. These vibes can bring such power that will ultimately unleash into a powerful warrior that is a princess. However, despite it's creation on it's failed attempt of destroying the old world, Shinra foiled demon vibe plans and gave Soul World it's very foundation with the Kusakabe Legacy, that was simply a family tree of his own. Then the Time Eater arrived as it begins to destroy his world that he created was a facade and started an extermination event, but the last one survived and went insane. The witch that started it all was Inca, the first of the Kasugatani and true mother of Witchkind.

"As before the Ohkuboverse's destruction was being erased in half, Inca used the vibes of Rage and Gloom to combine a deadly force that has the power to shatter things and including the hearts of all, the one she calls it Shattered Resonance. And thus, the Shattered Meister was created and as well for the Shattered Soldiers. And they are forever remained in secrecy by the Men of Shinra's influence."

Ashley : Now what I really understand that the rumbling and that roar of a god of destruction, Shattered Meisters are actually people who gone into the despair and causes nothing but destruction. Maka, that girl and self-proclaim hero of Soul World, was the one that started the explosion on four-fifths of Japan's population, and the second explosion that started in Tokyo which is my partner. That's where the vibration and that roar is coming from.

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : True. Because the Kusakabe thinks that Inca's or her people were leeches, but that doesn't mean a single thing. Shinra and his people were killed by the hands of the Time Eater, and I was not the one that is a tool to the devil's will. I used to be a fire soldier in his old world, but then the Time Eater removed me from the Ohkuboverse and brought me into the real world, where I became the member of the Phantoms of Society! Shattered Meisters are very equivalent to the Shattered Soldiers, and Kimial is one of the Shattered Meisters as well. The Great Phantom knew that the Shattered Meister I found in Vermont are linked with each others, by connecting one's heart or one's soul. With them following on their path to destruction, Shattered Meisters will break us free from the will of Kusakabe, relcaim the Kasugatani name and her position! That is what we were ordered by the Phantom to look after the Shattered Meisters and we must protect them from ever bringing destruction on the planet. I wanted her smile to be protected and we are the only ones who can protect her smile.

Kimial Diehl : (in Joyful Glee) Jacqueline, promise me that you'll finally be what I wanted for our future. The sky is peaceful, the birds are singing, and I'm in a field of beautiful flowers! My only wish that I would be together to start a future for the ones that I loved, to cherish and protect. And you would protect me from of all bad things that will ever happen to me. You certainly who you really are, Jacqueline. I consider you to be my hero.

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : (blushes) Oh, ummm...It is my duty to protect you as a hero, I won't let you cry and neither you'll be angry, You stay perfectly as a good girl that I would proclaim you as a my future bride. You knew the place that where we first met...on that day in the Green Hills of Vermont, You and I, the tree where we made our love at first sight. Desperate to be forbidden that is a forever a secret.

Kimial Diehl : (Joyful Glee) You finally knew our secret honeymoon! I want a perfect person that I wanted to be my type, and you Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre, is the person that is the love of my life! (holds Jacqueline hand) So hear me out! In our futures, in our dreams, we could start a life! We would be groom and bride, you and I! But if you still hadn't figured it out that I was one of the Shattered Meisters, I'd still be the one you loved dearly.

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : ....Kimial. (comforts) I'm glad that you finally answered. When we do something for our marriage, I will do an Equivalent exchange, I'll give you half of my life, and you give me half of yours. That is what Edward predicted our marriage.

Kimial Diehl : (giggles) Jacqueline...

Eruka Frog : So much romance and drama, I might be better to get going then. *heartbeat echoing* Hmm?

[The Nearest Place to the Heaven (Quiet) - Hideaki Kobayashi]

Eruka Frog : That's strange. I don't remember that heartbeat echoing through the sound. Is that another resonance, or I wonder if there's a person inside?

(Kimial and Jacqueling laughing togther)

Ashley : (looks at Eruka) Wait, what are you doing now? That monument...!

Eruka Frog : Hey, guys. Since Kimial and her "hero" is a having romantic conversation, I'm just gonna sit over here on this nice...

Ashley & Rupika : DON'T GO NEAR ANYTHING, YOU TWIT!

Eruka Frog : What, guys? Go near what? Relax, fellas. It's not like that I'm not gonna do anything...(touches monument which changes the flora into a field of faces) stupid?

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : That doesn't look good.

[The Nearest Place to the Heaven (Attack) - Hideaki Kobayashi]

Kimial Diehl : Eruka! What did you do!?

Eruka Frog : I don't know, man! I was trying to go over here to have a seat at the monument! It-It's not like that I triggered something anything to rise an attack!

Kimial Diehl : You idiot! You did not go near the monument to take a seat, you triggered Dark Falz's defenses! And now he's going to wake up to find out that we're here! Any idea how are we supposed to deal with this mess!? We need some fire power to take these spinning things out of the field! This entire place has become one deadly booby trap!

Ashley : Of course, partner! If only that froggy idiot would never go near the monument and awaken the Final Boss of this MMO, we would've left here before she completely blew it off! Now we're gonna be in deep sh*t! Now help us out and get rid of these spinning spiky things that are Dark Falz's Defenses! I'm gonna need to cast a fiery spell on this!

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : Leave this one to me! I've always prepared to fight with the power of the flames! So here I go! I'm gonna make this game to the next level! Feel the power of flames, evil must be perished!

~ Prologue 24 : Falz's Land Stand Pt.1 ~

[lunarot]

made mr dupres very own scone recipe......... i didnt expect the tea flavor to come out as much as it does. its too subtle to compete with whatever jam u might put on there but really nice!!!