#Doctor swaps pronouns very suddenly

[zigzagspam]

I’m dumping my Doctor who (Oc?) fanfiction on y’all and then going to bed so I don’t have time to be embarrassed. Fair warning actual writing quality is probably mediocre at best because I’m rusty.

Basic idea is that the Doctor is regenerating and his(her) current companion is not very happy about it.

———————————————————————

“DOCTOR!?”

Two women burst through wooden blue doors out of breath and panicked. One, a brunette limped toward a console in the center of the room and the other, a blonde rushed after her, frantic.

“DOCTOR SLOW DOWN YOU’RE INJURED!!” The blond screeched as she lurched forward to catch up with the other woman

“I’m more than injured, Marley” The Doctor said wryly, turning to slump down against the console. Her words carried a humor to them despite the dark implication.

“What are you saying?” Marley said crouching down to meet the Doctor’s eye level.” The medbay is only but a couple paces away. I can, I can get you patched up!” Marley stammered as she reached out to grab the Doctor’s wrist with her shaking hands.

“No, the Viramoth’s toxins are too far into my bloodstream now.” The Doctor let out a weak cough as if all the air had just been taken from her lungs. “My nervous system should be completely shut down within the next minute and a half.”

“Your nervous system? No! Doctor you can’t die now! I’ve watched you survive so much worse.” Marley took notice of her companion’s state. Clammy skin, racing pulse, labored breath’s and a brow beaded with sweat. The Doctor was right, the poison transferred from the gash on her left arm was killing her, and quickly.

“Shhh shh- It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“Timelords, we keep a little trick up our sleeve for moments like this.“

“What? What could yo-“

Before Marley had a chance to finish her sentence she noticed what seemed like gold glowing dust particles start to emerge and cover the Doctor. They were stunning yet sorrowful in a way that she couldn’t quite explain.

“I’ll survive but I might not look the same, or be the same as you remember me now. I’ll still be me of course, just different.”

The Doctor, felt a wave of pain and nausea wash over her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tilt her head up to lean back further on the console.

“Different?! Doctor you can’t. You can’t just SPRING this on me! You’re saying that you’re going to change into a whole other person yet still be you??” Marley felt tears pricking at her eyes, threatening to spill over. This wasn’t any better than death, she thought. Her beloved Doctor, the one who she had grown the know so intimately, was being replaced by a stranger! “You can’t…”

She hung her head for a second as she squeezed the doctor’s wrist.

“I’m sorry Marley.”

The Doctor shifted her head back down to try and make eye contact with Marley. “If I had a choice…”

“Heaven’s, I wish I could just stay with you as I am, continue looking at you with these eyes. It almost feels selfish to think.”

The Doctor raised a hand to cup her companions cheek.

Marley met the Doctor’s gaze, eyes red from crying. “Well if this is that last time I’m going to see your face, this face…” Marley trailed off as she looks at the doctor. Her eyebrows knitted and she let out a breath before lunging forward to press her lips to the other Woman’s.

Golden light illuminates them both, bright enough so that even if they opened their eyes neither would be able to see the other. Beneath the gleaming mist Marley could feel the doctor’s hand shift to the back of her head and her head tilted to kiss Marley back. It wasn’t until the light had died down and subsided that Marley noticed that her neck was positioned back into a very awkward and uncomfortable angle. Had the Doctor gotten taller?

After a second Marley finally broke away from the kiss and opened her eyes. A gasp escaped her as she saw what was now a Raven haired man sitting in front of her. Her face flushed and she scrambled backwards, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Being told exactly what was about to happen didn’t make the sight any less shocking.

“What’s the matter?”

“Am I ugly?”

———————————————————————

The Doctor was now a dark haired, green eyed, pale, and slender man. His facial features were long yet delicate like a raven’s sculpted from marble. His skin was nearly flawless and his hair swooped naturally to the right. His clothes, now a size too small, clung to his body uncomfortably. He turned around and pressed his hands down onto the lip of the center console as a way to push him off of the ground. His arms and legs trembled beneath his weight as if they were too frail to carry him. He made his way over to a full body mirror in a corner of the room leaning on miscellaneous furniture and walls to insure he didn’t topple over. Marley made a mental note that it made total since that someone who had just died would have a hard time walking.

“Doctor?” Marley called out hesitantly.

“Well this is a sight isn’t it! I haven’t been this tall in a good while. And the hair too, still not ginger but it sure is pretty.” The Doctor twisted and twirled around in the mirror like a young girl trying on her Sunday’s best.

“Doctor!” Marley repeated more sternly.

The Doctor turned toward Marley and away from the mirror seeming quite content with his new form.

“…It is you right?” Marley asked timidly. the thought that she may now be trapped in a timeless void with a strange man was not appealing.

“Oh I’m sorry dear I should go get changed. You shouldn’t have to see me so unsightly like this.” The Doctor attempted to make a move towards the hallway but was halted by him limbs once again struggling to keep up with the rest of his body.

“That doesn’t answer my question!” Marley could feel her temper starting to boil but it was quickly extinguished when she noticed the Doctor about to topple over. Instinctively she rushed over to support him.

“Should you even be walking right now?”

The Doctor only answered her with a sly smile. “How about after I get dress we pop over to your home planet? Say nineteen seventy… err one?”

“Oh you are just as insufferable as the first day I met you.” Marley huffed letting go of the Doctor. Part of her hoped he’d lose his balance and face plant into the deck of the ship.

“I’ll be back in a tick!” The Doctor gave Marley a small pat on the back before once again making his way out of the room.

Back in a tick? Since when had the Doctor started saying that? Marley questioned as she waited for his return. As she stood in silence she started to wonder what this new form meant for the future, and what I meant for their relationship. Oh goodness she had kissed him! She’d kissed him and now he was acting like it never even happened. Sure maybe it was just that the whole new body thing was more pressing but she thought he would have at least mentioned it. Panic started to to consume Marley but before it got a chance the Doctor came back into the room with a flourish.

“What do you think?”

The Doctor was now wearing an open pink collar shirt, well fitted black pants with white threading, some matte black dress shoes and was carrying a simple wooden cake with a golden raven skull on the handle. His shirt shimmered almost iridescently, turning blue briefly when the light hit it.

“You look… utterly ridiculous.” Marley tried to keep a straight face but a twitching at the corners of her mouth betrayed her.

“You think I look handsome.”

“I most certainly do not.”

“Oh come on, not even a little bit?”

Marley folded her arms and squeezed her lips into a line in one final attempt to keep her composure. “Go on, do a little spin.”

[ironunderstands]

Not a question, just very happy it's not just me loving IP3 (or trans Ratio for that matter). Yap away on both

Ugh I love them both so much

Most of my headcanons are when I find something to be better and/or more interesting than it is in canon, or something that’s a great extension of canon, and that’s exactly what trans Ratio is to me.

It takes his already present insecurities and squares them, as now the doctor has to contend with not just being a SMART enough man, but being a smart enough MAN, and adding that extra layer of misery and complexity is just so delightful.

By taking a character racked by self doubt and adding another layer to it, like Ratio being trans, you complicate his current insecurities and give new perspectives to look at them from.

Like in canon Ratio exercises so much because he wants to be the most perfect, best version of himself and has been doing it since a very young age (middle school).

But then you add him being trans to that, and suddenly he’s not just combating being perceived as not good enough, he’s combating being perceived entirely, attempting to try and get others to view him the way he really is, and attempting to live up to whatever masculine ideal that would push away his dysphoria, something prominent within his life from a young age.

I’ve kinda dived into this within my fics about it, but I like the idea that Ratio keeps this a secret from everyone- and I mean everyone. He already doesn’t live up to his own expectations of himself, so to have the rest of the galaxy find out that he doesn’t live up to their expectations of him either (ie being a cis man I mean you cannot tell me there aren’t like hundreds of people in universe begging for his uh- yeah), it would crush him.

I mean considering how guarded he is already, adding another thing to hide behind that alabaster mask would be fun, even if I think Ratio is likely at least a decade post-op + post-transition, so it’s not like he has to bind or anything, but the threat is still there. Especially considering his well known love of baths- imagine if he avoided the public baths at his home planet (considering how heavily Greek/Roman inspired Ratio is), and how that might affected him growing up, or just the tendency of shirtlessness in general.

There’s just a lot of possibilities and intricacies to it that makes me really like this particular headcanon, and it will always be canon in my heart haha. I have some more silly things behind it, like me wanting to give Aventio and Ratiopaz biological kids because it would be cute, or just the inherent joy of the big buff guy actually being the trans one rather than who you would expect it to be/who it’s stereotypically made as- Aventurine, as I like when characters have traits you don’t expect them to possess.

I also tend to dislike Aventurine being made ftm because he’s implied to be an SA survivor and rep for amab victims is already kinda abysmal so I don’t like taking it away, also I just think it’s boring tbh, at least for me it just doesn’t interest me.

Trans Topaz is a whole other discussion, personally I think she’s mtnb, and more femme presenting (I’d make her use she/they in my fics it’s just pronoun swapping when writing polyamory is miserable and anybody who’s ever written it can attest to that 😭, it’s there in spirit I promise!)

I honestly don’t have deep reasons behind this one, it’s just pure vibes. Someone was like, “Topaz gives nonbinary” once on here and I’m like yeah, yeah she does 😭. She reminds me of Childe a lot and I also view him as nonbinary so she’s kinda in a similar boat.

I think she’s very motherly but like in the way Mother Nature is if that makes sense? Mother is mothering but she’s also a creature tm* and certified tax collecting humanity loving entity. Also I have a close friend who’s a trans woman and Topaz reminds me of her so like, bam ur trans now lol (hi Alice if ur seeing this).

As for Aventiopaz, I fear I’d need a whole other post dedicated to why I like them. You guys know why I like Aventio, Avenpaz also require a whole other yap session, and Ratiopaz is the best rarepair ever fight me. Generally I like it because it’s really sweet, the dynamic is hilarious, they are the power trio of all time, they have great gameplay synergy, and their designs complement each other a lot- being primary colors and all.

I also enjoy their individual unique relationships to the IPC and how that might affect their interactions with one another, both in canon and in my brain. Moreover the trio of coworkers who are well known around the office for a) getting the job done and b) being absolutely obnoxious around one another (in a good way) is incredibly fun and I enjoy the idea of all the shenanigans they would get up to.

Perhaps my next Aventiopaz fic would be them going on a mission together or something, as I definitely want to write another one, and also update my slideshow of the parents au, I’ve just been so busy and a bit unmotivated 😭 so hopefully I can get to that soon

[lets-try-some-writing]

A concept for you:

Cybertronians are much more respectable about gender preferences because in a society where anything can be changed by a visit to the doctor's office, gender isn't as controversial to them as it is to humans.

Imagine Miko talking with a friend with Bulkhead nearby, possibly listening in, and as they drive back to base Miko refers to the friend with "They". Initially Bulk's confused since as far as he knew humans only used he/him and she/her, but as Miko explains, he thinks it's cool that humans didn't limit themselves if they thought the default didn't fit them.

Miko thinks it's cool too, but idly mentions that it'd be cooler if there wasn't a lot of controversy around it.

This stops bulk in his tracks, "What do you mean?" he asks, but Miko says she would rather discuss this further at base because... she's been thinking about using they/them along with she/her but worries about how it would affect her relationship with her friends.

So it's safe to say that she's floored by all the support she gets from not only her fellow humans but Team Prime as well when she finally speaks her mind.

Interesting concept. Hope you don't mind if I use this as a chance to make more lore up on the spot. But don't worry, Miko still gets her support, its just more toward the end of this post.

Cybertronians and Gender

Cybertronians as a general rule, do not care at all for gender like humans do. As Cybertronians do not actually have any physical differentiations that would give them reason to have gender, they didn't bother coming up with a set of terms for any. As such on Cybertron there was only ever one symbol used to speak of, describe, and refer to a bot. The way they differentiated each other was not through using separate terms, but by adding special tonal indicators in their glyphs that pointed toward a more feminine or masculine nature in an individual. Cybertronians only really used pronouns when interacting with other races, mainly to make themselves more relatable and appealing to possible allies.

Simply put, they had no males, females, or whatever other classifications came from other species among their people. They merely adapted to better suit their environment as needed. When not on missions, Cybertronians fall right back into using their universal designators. But since the bots arrived to earth, they have taken the time to research human customs to create designations, pronouns, and even voices that would best fit the world they have come to see as a second home of sorts.

Everything the bots presented to the humans was catered and altered to best be understandable, right down to tone, body language, and speech. Like the best actors in the galaxy, everything they did was thought out and carefully mulled over in sub-processing routines to ensure the clearest communication. Still, they did not forget their origins despite playing such an intense game of pretend. So when Miko came to base speaking of a friend who wished to go by different pronouns, the bots were a little put off but not startled in any way.

Miko: I have a friend who uses "they" as their pronouns.

Bulkhead: They as in plural?

Optimus: Is that not incorrect grammar?

Ratchet: I thought you humans only had two sexes?

Miko: Um, well they refer to themselves that way because they don't feel like either gender. And since there isn't another word for someone who doesn't feel like either, we use "they".

Arcee: And why is this such an issue?

Miko: Most people don't like it when a person deviates from the normal he/him and she/her. So it's a bit scary trying to ask others to use new pronouns.

Bumblebee: That's ridiculous! We swap genders all the time and its no big deal!

Miko: Wait, what?!

Jack and Rafael who had previously been paying little attention were suddenly very invested in the conversation as the bots shrugged like it was completely normal. When asked what they meant by that, Optimus stepped forward to explain.

Optimus: We are autonomous robotic organisms. We have no components that set us apart biologically like organics do.

Jack: So you don't have genders?

Optimus: No we do not. On Cybertron we all use the same symbol to refer to one another.

Rafael: Then why use pronouns here?

Optimus: Other species have trouble comprehending that while we use the same words to refer to one another, we still recognize our individuality. So to make things easier, we take on the designations used by whatever species we are interacting with.

Miko: So when Bumblebee said you swap genders all the time he meant that-?

Ratchet: We adapt our behavior to suit our environment. Did you really think our voices naturally sounded this way or that we have the same body language as you humans?

The children were left a little dumbstruck once the explanation was complete. But it didn't end there, soon they began questioning more and the team had to explain to them why it simply wasn't a big issue for them. However after a few botched attempts to verbalize their reasoning normally, they ended up telling stories of their other experiences to make their point.

Optimus told the children of his experiences making deals with a species of techno-organic whose largest and most dominant citizens were all female. And so to get along with them, Optimus had taken on the pronouns that equated to she/her in their society, made his voice higher pitched, and did his best to meet their customs. He was dressed up in silks at one point and danced among the noble woman of their courts. He wore bright colors and adjusted his body language to be more feminine to get along. And he even went out of his way to perform what they considered more lady-like activities since all their ruling class were female. To the surprise of the children, Optimus didn't mind all that much despite preferring to lean toward the more masculine end of the scale.

Arcee then added to the tale by telling the children of her experiences with that same group of techno-organics during a mission she had there. Among their kind the males were all very small but highly agile and the most aggressive little things known to their sector of the galaxy. And Arcee being a small bot ended up taking on their version of he/him pronouns and worked her way into their society with practiced ease. She deepened her voice, adjusted her body language, and joined the males in their activities. She fought alongside them as a battle-brother, she performed their rituals of combat, and aided them in their duty of protecting their females and young despite their small size. And once again, the children were left a little bewildered as Arcee shrugged and stated that it wasn't an issue for her since she had been integrating into other societies for centuries.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack shared their story of the time when they were working with some organics who possessed both sets of genitalia needed to produce offspring. The wreckers had used both male and female pronouns interchangeably to make their companions more comfortable. They had adjusted their behavior and swapped between male and female body language and voice pitch every other day or so just like their companions. Wheeljack had been particularly fond of using feminine pronouns while beating tailpipe since organic species tended to find the idea of a female demolishing them in battle outrageous. He then found it equally entertaining to use masculine pronouns to make terrible dad jokes around the crew. Bulkhead on the other hand liked to use feminine pronouns while working on artistic pursuits since it made him feel more inspired. And at the same time he liked using masculine ones while fighting since it aided him in feeling confident.

The children for their part didn't find this particularly odd since Bulkhead and Wheeljack already gave them mixed wine aunt/fun uncle vibes. As such they nodded sagely as Ratchet threw in his own tale to the mix.

At one point the medic had been among a technological species that was built with a specific function based on two models that were akin to male and female. They viewed those who were not forged in either of these models as holy and to respected. So when Ratchet turned up to do some research during his medical schooling he found himself heralded as some sort of saint due to his effective androgyny. Not wanting to be bothered figuring out the specifics he took on the species' version of they/them and moved on with life. Although to keep them from being uncomfortable he evened out his voice, adjusted his alt-mode to something that didn't lean too far toward either side of the gender scale, and did his best to remain focused on his studies. He actually ended up enjoying being referred to by their version of they/them since it meant he wasn't obliged to do anything outside of his studies or comply with any of their cultural norms.

The children blinked rapidly in disbelief at hearing this but opted to not think on it too hard. Ratchet had always been so much like a dad, a grumpy uncle, and a tired grandpa that is was hard for them to see him in a more androgynous light. Jack and Rafael weren't all that invested in Ratchet's story, but Miko was totally enthralled at the idea of one of the bots going by they/them at some point. She only grew more interested when Bumblebee added his own experience to the table.

Bumblebee upon seeing Miko's excitement perked up and went on to tell her and the others all about his younger years. On Cybertron, to allow younglings and sparklings to discover themselves, they were not given gendered pronouns when interacting with other species no matter the situation. Bumblebee was always given the species gender neutral pronouns whenever he interacted with them or he was only referred to by the Cybertronian designation used for all bots. It stemmed from the belief that sparklings and younglings were pure and therefore should not be tainted with the sinfulness of the world around them until they had fully developed. As such he spent his entire sparklinghood using the Cybertronian designation or other neutral pronouns all while never being forced to be more feminine or masculine. It was his choice and only once he was grown in frame did he choose to use masculine pronouns when interacting with other races when possible.

Miko's eyes sparkled at this, although Bumblebee made sure to clarify that like the rest of the team, he did not care for gender like organics and would willingly swap as needed. Of course after every bot shared their stories, one question hung in the air.

Wheeljack: So kid, why did you bring up the topic of gender anyway? Something going on or were you just interested?

Miko: I was thinking of using they/them alongside she/her since I don't always feel comfortable only being seen as a girl.

Bulkhead: Cool. Do you want us to start using they/them now or a later?

Miko: Cool? You don't think its weird?

Arcee: Is there a reason to? We just told you about how gender does not bother us at all.

Miko: I'm an organic and I can't rearrange my body like you bots can. I don't know... I guess I was worried you would think it was silly for me to want to be seen differently.

Optimus: If I were you, I would take some time to do some "soul searching" as you call it before you make any changes to your body. But beyond that, we will gladly support you in your journey of self-discovery.

Miko: You mean that?

Bumblebee: Of course! It's better to be your true self rather than remain locked in a box your whole life! How can you figure out who you are if you never try anything new?

Ratchet: So long as you don't make your chosen designation your entire personality, I see no issue with you changing your pronouns.

Miko: Guys...

Miko was quickly met with casual and not at all overbearing support. The team didn't make a big deal out of her decision and quietly began referring to her as they/them every now and then to help her decide if she liked it or not. Optimus would take time with her on occasion and swap his persona around to match hers to make her feel more comfortable. On such days he would swap to using more non-gendered pronouns to show his support, even adjusting his voice, tone, and body language as he would with other species to show his support.

Ratchet took it upon himself to ensure Miko felt at peace with her feminine nature and female body to contrast Optimus's gentle teachings meant to safely help her explore this new idea that she was fostering. To ensure her desire was not due to her changing body and hormones, Ratchet sat down with June and walked Miko through a deep-dive of the female body (much to her boredom). Once that was done, he went through a series mental health questions to assess her and once again look for possible issues that could have caused a degree of dysmorphia. Then finding nothing serious he took the opportunity to also swap his pronouns, voice, and overall disposition around to give her a better idea of what she was trying to become.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack didn't so much as stutter as they rapidly began swapping through pronouns over the course of a few weeks. They both preferred sticking to a set, but they were willing to swap around to show their support and show Miko that gender really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. They made a point to still do what they always did even while adjusting their voices and body language. They didn't want her to feel that she was an outcast or that her choice of pronouns changed anything about her place among them. Miko appreciated their efforts and often enjoyed watching them present differently.

Bumblebee for his part didn't change his pronouns or anything. He was content to just give Miko words of affirmation and treat her kindly as he always had. There wasn't a need for him to make a big deal out of it since it really wasn't all that big of a deal. Miko wasn't altering her body or harming herself in any way, so Bumblebee was not pressed to make it an issue by being super outspoken about the whole thing. Although at one point he did teach her a few of the other alien versions of they/them that he had used over the centuries just in case she found one to be interesting.

As for Rafael and Jack? They literally did not care, but in a good way. They didn't change anything about how they treated her or interacted with her. They just gave her a thumbs up as she went about figuring out what she wanted to be called and continued on with their day.

[taxbywaxworth]

The Mother Doctor Riddle does not (exclusively) work because of patriarchal norms and inherent sexism

Don’t get me wrong, it helps, and the riddle would not work in the inverse for this reason, but there’s something very cool happening here linguistically that I think is worth talking about, because it’s a fairly sophisticated grammatical illusion that often gets overlooked.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, the riddle goes like this “a father and son are in a car accident, the father dies on impact and the son is rushed to the hospital, he is brought to a doctor who says I can’t operate on him, he’s my son. How is this possible?” And the answer is that the doctor is the mother, because women can be doctors. And all I ever see about this is how this shows inherent bias against women, and again, it does, have a mother die and her daughter be brought in and the doctor be the father and this doesn’t work. But that’s not the only reason this works.

Imagine this riddle, almost as is, but with a father and daughter. “The father dies on impact and the daughter is rushed to the hospital she’s brought to a doctor who says I can’t operate on her she’s my daughter” now obviously you know the answer, but I think it’s a lot easier to guess in this version, and I think there are 2 reasons for that.

1. OOPS! More Sexism: there is an assumption that if a character deviates from the “norm for society” that it’ll be stated, and it’s also the case that a character is typically viewed as more of a “normal Everyman” when that character is male, so the assumption when we have a story where we’ve only been introduced to male characters is to assume that every character is male. I saw a great post on here recently about someone who gender-swapped all the characters in a dnd module and there were suddenly so many women that the PCs thought there was some kind of conspiracy afoot, and I think that’s a great example of what this first point is all about. We’ve only been introduced to men so our instinct is that everyone else we meet will also be a man. Which is one of the reasons changing the son to a daughter makes the riddle easier. But what I really want to talk about is…

2. Pronouns Strike Back: every pronoun used in the original version of the riddle is a traditionally masculine pronoun, and more specifically there are a lot of “he”s and “him”s thrown out right around the word doctor. Now all of these pronouns are referring to the son, but your brain tries to take shortcuts. So your brain goes “HE blah blah DOCTOR blah blah HIM blah HE” and instinctively thinks that the doctor has been referred to with traditionally masculine pronouns. This is why even very progressive and feminist individuals have the first answer of “2 dads” rather than think that it could be the mother, not solely because of traditional gender roles, but also because they think that you told them the doctor was a man. This is also why the riddle doesn’t work nearly as well with a daughter, because your brain goes “SHE blah blah DOCTOR blah blah HER blah SHE” and your brain is way more likely to piece together that the doctor could be a woman.

Again, sexism definitely plays a part in it, and that’s super important to acknowledge. But another big part is that it uses smoke and mirror wordplay to force you into thinking there were statements made that were not. That’s a big reason this riddle has stood the test of time, because I’ve only had women doctors my whole life, and when I was like 8 and had only experienced women doctors, this riddle still stumped me for a couple minutes, because it tricks your information intake.

I just think it’s really neat, like you couldn’t scientifically engineer a more elegant riddle kind of neat. And yes, it demonstrates inherent bias that we have against women, but it does more than that, and to see it consistently broken down to only existing because of cultural context is a bit disheartening, because it transcends cultural norms to trick you in your subconscious, it fucks with how you process the world around you and that’s fascinating. I love riddles, I’m a huge fan, and this might be my favorite “simple” riddle of all time because of this trick that it pulls, it’s so unique and fascinating, and I just wish we would talk about it more.

Multifacetedness is what makes the world interesting, women can simultaneously be mothers and doctors, and riddles can simultaneously play into our inherent sexism and trick our subconscious by using illusory grammar. And I think that’s awesome.

[maxhirsch]

GENERAL.

full name:  maxine hirsch

age:  thirty-nine

gender:  cis woman

sexuality:  raging bisexual

pronouns:  she/her

residential area:  downtown vancouver

occupation:  cardiovascular surgeon

two positive traits:  hardworking, intuitive

two negative traits:  blunt, pedantic

length of time in vancouver:  28 years

faceclaim:  sophia bush

QUOTE.

“ i don’t have to forgive to heal. this anger has healed me in more ways than forgiving a person ever could. ”

BIOGRAPHY.

tw:  mentions of academic pressure, neglectful parents

her parents never legally married, and so they never attempted the traditional farce of staying together. if maxine thought about it, they hardly suffered one another’s company in the first place. the reason they kept her for was—well, no one really knows exactly why. she was never bold enough, or maybe cruel enough to demand an answer. perhaps they felt they wanted a child because it was the last bastion to cross, the last fence in the orchard of adulthood. the final magnet on the fridge of accomplished people. maybe they had simply seen a challenge, as it was so often their style, and launched headlong into it. they would approach child-rearing with the precision of mass reviews, as journalists do with great disasters, until it had the featherweight touch of a quantitative analysis: a rulebook to be followed to the letter.            

  they did all they were supposed to, adjusted maxine according to this litmus test. doctor visits, stellar extracurricular programs, language exchanges & debate clubs overseeing genovese lakes. they provided the bare essentials for this aluminum blueprint; anything superfluous, of course, would skew the results. maxine was the experiment they invested in, a uniform whole, rather than a sum of parts. if you judge it by any other name, the trial was a success. she had become the best version she could’ve ever been, all things considered. what if it was hollow, as all polished shells are? it was light enough to float. given the haphazard turns of her mind, the way it led itself to a fool’s gold chase that could’ve ruined her long ago—yes, given all these fatal flaws, her parents tempered as much as they could.          

   it was a twisted environment to live in, both the scion’s and the scholar’s; a microcosm of academic renown, foreign dignitaries, elizabethan plays instead of bedtime prayers. wealth, of course, and diplomacy went hand in hand, their fingers threaded together like the tails of small monsters. it was a world illuminated, but sterile—incandescent for all the wrong reasons. to her parents, everything remote required undiverted attention, even as it took place on the other side of the world; everything human grew tepid within seconds. the child learned to speak two, then three languages, and moved deftly between their unspoken rules—even as the deeper meaning eluded her. growing up, she would spend half the year in vancouver, where her mother had settled, and half in whatever place her father had a scholarship in. at times, a few months would get swapped in the schedule like tactical retreats—when a conference or a lawsuit came up, those unmissable, unmitigable things, maxine would suddenly find herself with more time to spend with one parent, and very little left to say. she never protested ; she learned this, early on, how to shape discontent into purpose, how to bevel disadvantage into a three-card trick.        

     she never protested most things—to her, feelings were best tasted in dreams, and even then they had to wear the face of others. she exuded a strange, stoical calm. there was authority, but there was also an ominous fire. as if she saw what might happen, and steeled herself throughout it all, even as her mind shied & sheathed back into itself. it was this air that got her through most of the situations where she had something to prove; that made up for her real, mercurial nature, which no one could even begin to guess at. it was this which acted as ransom, as guarantee, and bid others to follow her. an air of bravery which surpassed girlhood, and of wisdom which surpassed even will. above all, she learned to spin the narrative so that she was always turning. summers spent country clubbing in cambridge are long gone. the following years are spent in residency at john hopkins, and yet, she never managed to stray too far from home. with a newfound opening for the position, vancouver called max home like a siren song and she’s served as one of the lead cardiovascular surgeons since.  

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

ex-fiance  /  flings  /  exes  /  coworkers  /  best friends  /  drinking buddies  /  acquaintances  /  people that genuinely can’t stand her lmao  /  occupational rivals  /  past academic rivals

[arcticdementor]

Never encourage a child to keep a secret from her parents. That’s what we used to say, in decades past, when we believed a sacred boundary encircled every American home.

Last week, I spoke with another mother who discovered her 12-year-old daughter’s middle school had changed the girl’s name and gender identity at school. The “Gender Support Plan” the district followed is an increasingly standard document which informs teachers of a child’s new chosen name and gender identity (“trans,” “agender,” “non-binary,” etc.) for all internal communications with the child. The school also provided the girl a year’s worth of counseling in support of her new identity, which in her case was “no gender.” Even the P.E. teachers were in on it. Left in the dark were her parents.

This duplicity is part of the “plan”: All documents sent home to mom and dad scrupulously maintained the daughter’s birth name and sex. But Mom noticed her daughter seemed to be suffering. Although far from alone in declaring a new identity - many girls in the school had adopted new names and gender pronouns – this girl’s grades fell apart. She became taciturn and moody.

When the mother failed to uncover the source of the girl’s distress, she met with teachers, hoping for insight. Instead, she slammed into a Wall of Silence: no teacher was evidently willing to let a worried mom know what the hell was going on. (Finally, one did.)

When I wrote Irreversible Damage, I documented that California and other public school systems had adopted a policy of creating two sets of documents around minor students’ gender. Similar policies have cropped up across the country, modeled on the one created by the activist organization Gender Spectrum.

A “gender support plan” isn’t merely a secret held between child and teacher, which might be bad enough. This is no private student confession, the silent whisperings of a troubled teenage heart. A Gender Support Plan, or any similar scheme, effects a schoolwide conspiracy to create a secret name and gender identity specifically withheld from parents. I’ve talked to a mom whose middle school daughter slept in the boys’ bunk on the school overnight before she learned her daughter’s school had, for more than a year, called her by a different name and openly referred to her as a boy.

Teachers and activists who support this policy typically make two arguments in its favor. The first is that the very fact that a teen would want to keep her new gender identity a secret from parents is proof that home is an “unsafe” place for her; that is, her parents, if they knew, would abuse her. The second is that this gender declaration is a deeply held and personal decision of the child’s. The school, in this scenario, is merely a polite bystander—at most, a kindly chaperone. It’s not the school’s job to ask mom and dad for their approval.

The first is absurd; the second, dishonest. Why would a teen agree to keep a secret from her parents, if not for the presence of abuse? Well, as one sharp Twitter user pointed out in response to the documents I posted, one can think of a few things a teen might want to keep secret from mom: an eating disorder; her decision to join a religious cult; her dabbling in drugs; a decision to send or post nudes; or have sex with a much older boy. Teens tend to keep from mom and dad a wide variety of healthy and unhealthy teenage experimentations—sometimes to avoid parental protest; sometimes, just for the pubertal frisson.

And in virtually none of these cases is the primary motivation to keep secrets from parents necessarily fear of abuse. Sometimes it’s to avoid—groan—another lecture or even a conversation. Other times, teens keep something a secret just to avoid a “No.”

Which, in fact, is what the schools seem to want to avoid as well. The non-stop sex-and-gender celebration that begins in many public-school Kindergartens is an attempt to liberate children from any traces of sexual innocence.

…

A peculiar power imbalance has arisen between public school teachers and the parents for whom the necessity of work renders them too dependent on these schools to question them.  Parents discover radical materials pushed on their children by accident, like passersby happening on a crime scene. They are treated as interlopers, trespassers; they are made to understand they have no right to be there; information on the ideology pushed on their kids is revealed on a strictly need-to-know basis. When parents do object to classroom gender ideology, they’re treated as morally obtuse or child abusers.

The contempt shown parents would be inexcusable even if teachers stuck to reading, writing and arithmetic. In a time when so many public school teachers are properly described as activists, that arrangement strips children of their families’ protection. And families must indeed protect them from an ideology that would turn students against any adult who suggests that a seventh grader suddenly jonesing for hormones and surgeries slow down. I have more than once wondered whether public schools that would openly pit students against their families, turn them against themselves and each other, aren’t doing more harm than good.

I mean no disrespect to teachers when I point out the obvious: the moment a middle-schooler whom they’ve encouraged to transition graduates to high school, they more or less wash their hands of him. Soon after the janitors have stripped the lockers clean and rolled fresh paint on the walls, teachers will mentally and emotionally prepare for the next crop of students. They may remember a few fondly—but that does little for a child they’ve set on a medically perilous path toward a dramatic identity swap. If it backfires – as it will in so many instances – it won’t be the seventh-grade music teacher who contends for years with the damage.

All of which might make you wonder, how on earth are schools getting away with this? Is there no law that bars public schools from concealing a “coming out” to parents?  Actually, there really isn’t—not a good enough federal law, anyway.

…

For the past year, parents have been placed in the absurd situation of playing Whack-a-Mole with the worst excesses of Woke ideology. A book here, a curriculum there. It’s exhausting—and it’s a losing game of endless defense. Time for offense.

This is where the most critical cultural battle will be fought. Not with reckless doctors, for whom lawsuits are coming. Not even with the therapists—in many cases, a luxury, parents can walk away from. It will be fought with America’s activist teachers. Will we allow the activists among them unaccountable access to the next generation of America’s children?

…

For Pete’s sake, the state requires that teachers ask parental consent before they offer a child Tylenol. Maybe the state should require schools ask parents before inculcating a whole new identity for their child. Indeed, federal law should insist upon it.

Funny thing about this “debate” over parental rights: it cuts clear across party lines. Republican, Democrat, gay, straight—the Mama Bears of America have a very particular idea of what sorts of identities we’ll allow other adults to push on our minor children. Those insisting that teachers must “protect” seventh graders from their parents—they are rarely parents themselves. What they demand is continued unmonitored access to your children. It’s past time we stopped giving it to them.

[wee-guy]

                                 Why did you climb the mountain?

A rant sketch inspired by @insertdisc5​ post that I just reblogged. I haven’t been feeling great tonight and it’s always sat with me that these children climbed a big ass mountain without adult supervision. Especially Frisk. 

Below the cut is some headcannons for a kinda mental health AU? Idk, it was therapeutic to write.

It makes me think of a sort of AU were MC/reader purposefully goes to the mountain because of the rumours and obviously isn’t successful but meets a bunch of monsters who know why they came to the mountain and want to help.

Classic Sans: knows what it’s like to feel hopeless, to not want to get out of bed, how some things become so difficult to achieve. Knows what it’s like to have to hide how you feel, be happy and funny to make sure others don’t worry. If you need to do the thing, he will do the thing with you being “helpful” with his puns. He’s always there with soft encouragement and always praises the small things. Will probably make you those star stickers, “you got out of bed!” “you brushed your teeth!” “you managed social interaction!” “you didn’t cry today!”. Is interested in what you want to do in education and/or work. Will help you plan and work towards whatever that is. He knows some folk. 

Classic Papyrus: obviously is your personal cheer squad. Knows just how to motivate you but if it isn’t working and it’s a bad day knows when to calm down and let you take things at your own pace. Tell him your deepest desires, your biggest dreams, no matter how unattainable or silly it seems. You want to be an astronaut? You need to be physically healthy, go to school to get good grades and do training to achieve that? Pffft, that’s only three things, you can totally do that! Teaches you how to hold onto a dream and keep back the bad thoughts that say you can’t do it. You’ll show them! Will cook and bake with you while making some idle chatter. Afterwards will sit with you and watch MTT or something you’re currently interested in cuddled under a blanket.

Fell Sans (Red): the worst kept secret is that he is a softie. Will chill out with you and give you as much physical touch as you’re comfortable with. Little thumb strokes, hair strokes, hip bumps, squeezes and full on “you are now my personal squish, now chill out and watch the tv show”. Is your protector, there behind you to make sure no one walks over you or just there as silent encouragement when you need to do scary adult things. Knows what it’s like to have manic lows were the sadness is energetic and wants out. Knows how hard it is to stay strong when you need to be supported. Is there for you when this happens, even if he just silently holds you.

Fell Papyrus (Edge): you are the only one he is soft and gentle to. You know what that means? You are worthy of the terrible Papyrus! These other humans are merely jealous of your brilliance! Actual fashion icon who encourages you to express yourself however you want. Cut or dye your hair? Edge is there critiquing cuts and colours and of course approving of your choices. Your style is very much worthy of the terrible Papyrus’s approval. Humans are staring? Yes, how could they not? You look amazing! And the commoners are weak to resisting such style! Will absolutely call you by your preferred pronouns or name without question, although all skeles will do so too. Teaches you to be comfortable with yourself and that you are worth your own existence. 

Swap Sans (Blue): Another very energetic cheer squad! Preaches the importance of routine and activities. Won’t push you with exercise if you aren’t into that, gentle jogs or walks or swimming, anything calming and enjoyable. After all, what’s the point if you don’t enjoy it! Will help you figure out what the best times are you to do things, are you an early bird or a night owl? When do you get hungry? Do you have medication? When do you need to take them? He makes a very cool schedule with reminders on your phone so you don’t forget. Is very interested in your hyperfixations and is eager to learn all about it! Info dump your little heart out! Blue won’t judge and is 9/10 more likely to want to become involved too! He secretly knows what it’s like to not be respected for being yourself, whether that be for the things you love or how you look. He’s very well aware of what other monsters see him as. But! He will show you how the magnificent Sans achieves what he wants, does what he wants all the while being true to himself!

Swap Papyrus (Stretch): Another chill boy. He’s always there for you if you need to chill, talk or be distracted. No, literally. He always seems to be close to you wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, without actually moving at all...Is not at all a therapist but will listen to you when you need to talk or vent or explain something you love or have just learned. Will go with you to any doctors appointments or therapy sessions and be there for you, slouched down in his chair. Pull up a beanbag, pal, tell him all about it. Very good at distracting you with music or games or some sweet treats. A rock of a skeleton boy. Knows what it’s like to be so overwhelmed by your feelings being trapped inside you that you loose interest in things and become numb. Will show you coping mechanisms he learned himself and will always never let you forget that he is always there for you.

SwapFell Sans (Blackberry): This is a very smart boy. He clawed his way up to royal guard status without the usual violence, he doesn’t need to. Is an expert and obsessed with cheating the system and getting clever sneaky payback. Any trouble and he has it sorted, he’s both better and worse than a Karen. Will talk to a manager, teacher, professional and come out the victor. That person who bullied you? Strangely bolts whenever you are in their proximity ... Teaches you what you can do to help yourself in certain situations and how to come across confident in yourself even when you’re not. Somehow knows everything about everyone and is always doing things like reminding you that your medication is running low, you need to book another doctors appointment, even tells you that that thing you were eyeing up is much cheaper elsewhere and he’s already ordered it for you so don’t worry about it. His literal moto is “you don’t need to worry about it anymore, I’ll handle it.” But he knows when to slow down and teach you how to do things yourself. He is also a master at pet names. Darling? Sweetheart? Love? Baby? He’ll find out what you prefer and use it to his advantage, and you’ll love it. Knows how things can build and build and how sometimes the littlest thing can be the domino effect that makes everything crash. Shows you how to prioritise and take it one task at a time. 

Swapfell Papyrus (Russ): Just...a sweet boy. A little nasty, but sweet. Why do you sometimes have the urge to protect him and then suddenly feel submissive to his protection? Is a firm believer in therapy through action. You like art? He’s found this little group where you just be calm and do art and maybe talk about your feeling, lets both go. Is music your thing? Here, if you’re sad how about you press all the low keys at once? BOOOOOAAAAAMMMMM. Writing? Writing how you feel is very important to both understand yourself and how you’re feeling, to be able to reflect and point out things that triggered you and also be able to show a professional symptoms and explain how you feel without having to strain to remember. But you can also write for the pure enjoyment of words and the movement of your pen or the rhythmic click of your keyboard. Will help you with prompts and inspirations. Will never judge you for using a fandom or interest to help you get through this. Will definitely show you some of his own stuff. Knows how lonely you can feel even when surrounded by people, even when it doesn’t make sense to feel lonely or sad. Teaches you that it’s ok to feel these emotions but shows you when you need to stop in order not to become consumed by it. 

Horror Sans (Mars...?): Is deeply knowledgeable about trauma. He had a long road recovering from his. His trauma might make you feel stupid for your feelings but he will shut that down immediately. His broken leg doesn’t make your broken arm any less painful. Will be able to understand how you feel about your trauma and how that has affected you. He’s very careful to put down boundaries so neither of you trigger the other. He’s your mental health buddy, someone close who’s going through the same thing that you can talk to and know that you are fully understood. You can ask questions to help understand yourself and your own journey. Will show you how to focus and enjoy small things. Believes that people are either water people or earth people. Does the sound and sight of water make you calm? Just the rhythmic movement and sound drift you away while you both pick up cool looking rocks and smooth sea glass and sometimes even a shell! Or do you like big grassy parks or forests you can walk to your hearts content and just breathe? You both pick up some cool leaves to press between a book, take some pictures of plants and trees and sunsets. Whenever you need a break, whether you realise or not, he will whisk you away to just bask in silence for a while. A big cuddler, he has a blanket nest, hop on in and have a nap. 

Horror Papyrus (Sweetie): Knows deeply how hard it is to adapt sometimes, and how your adapting to situations can hurt you later. Knows what it’s like to be judged by how you look, especially if there are things you need to hide. Helps you with Edge’s quest, especially with clothes. He’s very good at finding unique objects that no one else has. Often comes back from thrift and charity shops with a few things he think’s you’ll like. Will cuddle up with you and listen to how you feel about yourself and the way you look. Helps you come to terms with yourself, accept yourself. Always has a compliment for you, building it up from small things so you can learn to believe and accept them. Knows ways to help you if you sometimes dissociate and especially if it’s triggered by photos or mirrors. If you need to go to the dentist or the doctor for operations or procedures, he’s right there with you holding your hand. He himself has some very cool braces for his teeth, some funky glasses and some support of his posture. Loves to teach you how to solve puzzles and will sit behind you and point out words he finds in the word searches. A very good bonding buddy. Also, he always has snacks, he is a snack mom. Sometimes he even slips food and water into your bag and pockets.