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thr0wnawayy · 3 months ago

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Midoriya's Delusion

This is post that builds upon my previous one, I've copied many of the points I made there to here. Albiet with some corrections and tweaks.

To summarize, I have a bit of a crack theory that chapter 430 isn't as real as we've been led to believe. (As for when this actually takes place, that's up to you but I like to imagine the start of his third year marks the beginning of his mental decline.)

(As an update, I find it dubious whether 8 years have actually passed or if that's also a part of the fantasy. I can see Midoriya becoming so attached to the lie that his reference of time begins to warp)

This theory mostly comes from some inconsistencies in regards to the hero rankings and some other things I've found.

Corrections:

It's left ambiguous whether Best Jeanist and Endeavor are still active. However the fact that people view these two in a postive light (especially after Dabi and the war) still seems absurd.

2. Midoriya wasn't outright abandoned, rather their busy schedules make it hard for their days off to coincide. This falls apart when you look at this panel

"The rate of new villains keep decreasing and the number of heroes have stabilized"

Besides Ochaco who's funding a quirk counseling project, the rest of the class should be able to make time. Again it's stated that they aren't actually fighting.

There's no real threat to face. Besides PR and Community Service there's bot a whole lot else (besides the occasional natural disaster)

One could argue it's because the scope of what heroes do is increasing, thus keeping them busy. But again, we see heroes doing exactly what they did before, PR, Advertising and (implied) Showboating.

This leads me to believe that the lack of contact is based in reality, to some extent.

Whether it was by choice or forced by their (1A's) respective PR teams to preserve their images (can't be seen around the "freaks" for too long, now can we?).

The lie comes in the form of busy schedules.

Now whether that's what Midoriya tells himself or what he's been told, I cannot say for certain.

Disturbia:

For those of you who didn't read my last post, you may be wondering, so what's going on?.

Simply put:

Midoriya's having a breakdown fantasy to cope with the fact that he won't be becoming a hero due to the loss of his quirk.

Im aware it sounds crazy but consider the following:

1. Midoriya subconsciously knows the way he's been treated was wrong.

This manifests within the escapists fantasy in Bakugo's drop in the rankings + the attitude surrounding him (as well as his damaged hand never fully healing)

He meets a kid who just so happens to be in a near exact same position as he once* was (and still is to an extent). One could take this as his mind's way of trying to cope and heal itself, by having Midoriya do what he does best and help others, henceforth working though his trauma by using the kid as a stand in.

*Even the kid's "bully" seems to be a warped version of Bakugo (perhaps this is how Midoriya tries to fool himself into believing how it was)

2. We see Kota.

I believe that here, Kota serves as what Midoriya thinks he could have been had he not failed. Kota is the idealized version of Midoriya here, the unobtainable.

3. A lesson ignored

Apparently people forgot the connection between Endeavor and Shoto. You'd think this would be a good thing as Shoto would be able to become his own person.

This falls flat when you remember that also includes people forgetting the reason and happenings behind Shoto's existence, it feels like Midoriya is trying to have his cake and eat it too

To elaborate, this is a major copout, it allows Shouto to be unaffected by his family's past bith career wise and emotionally. While also feeding into Midoriya's rather toxic belief that forgiveness is required to be a good person.

(The fact that killing Tomura violated this only adds to my theory that this whole thing is an escapist coping mechanism.)

(You can also add the idea that Tomura didn't forgive society for what they did to him and his friends. That likely broke all the "rules" that Midoriya knew.)

4. The Mech Suit is a massive cope, it's the dying whimper of Midoriya's childish hope that All Might will save the day.

This time there's no magic quirk, no garrish mech suit, no plot twist.

No. There's only Midoriya and the consequences of his, his classmates and hero societies actions. It doesn't matter how shiny and seamless the illusion, how sweet the lie.

You can't hide the blood.

Concerning Aspects:

That was mostly the revised stuff, let me introduce you to some new points

1. A Frozen Lake

Something I noticed was certain characters seem to be almost frozen in time, as if someone tried to continue a story using scraps of the original text.

The curious case of Rei Himura:

This scene seems almost stagnant, what was most noticeable was Enji's bandages still being on and Rei still being there.

It's as if Midoriya hasn't seen them in years (or perhaps doesn't want to acknowledge what happened). So his mind uses what he last saw/heard of them, creating a sterile, static scenario. Little better than props.

Those surrounding her (with the exception of Hawks) also seem to be stuck in the past.

It's definitely strange.

2. See No Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak No Evil

Shigaraki is a representation of Midoriya's repressed guilt and his fears. I believe deep down Midoriya knows that, inevitably the cycle will repeat, so long as the system is allowed fester and wallow in it's complancy.

I find the fact that he's behind Midoriya to be ironic, as if to say: don't look back, don't think about what you've done.

A Symbol of Stagnation:

I should warn you that it does get lengthy from here, however I think it's important to get the full picture. Even if I tend to ramble here.

It's implied here that Lemillion's the top hero. This is awful for a variety of reasons. Mirio is a horrible symbol.

All Might was flawed for a variety of reasons, but a majority of these were byproducts rather than directly being his own doing.

Mirio on the other hand, has such a cancerous philosophy that it actively harms all who interact with it.

Mirio is a follower, he follows orders first and asks questions never.

Eri is the best example of this. Even after Nighteye's death, Mirio never truly reflects on the damage his actions could have caused ( only saved by the narrative, seriously it's a miracle Eri trusts anyone besides Midoriya after being abandoned like that)

You see, the difference between Toshinori and Mirio lies in their actions and principles.

Mirio left Eri to die, all for the sake of the "mission".

For all the heroes knew, Eri could have been a trafficking victim and either have been killed or relocated. But no, appearances and "gotta catch em all" take priority even after knowing Eri is in the Yakuza's clutches.

Lemillion made the worst decisions possible. He followed a known murder into a secluded, restricted area (with a hostage mind you) bringing his pupil with him.

Willingly ignored blatant signs of abuse (just look at the girl) and played hooky with thre leader of a criminal organization, who is known for his short fuse and willingness to kill.

He did all of that, when he could have easily detained Overhaul at any point (his quirk being a direct counter)

Toroshinori would fight tooth and nail in that situation. Consequences be damned if it meant saving Eri.

Part of the reason Toroshinori was so effective as a hero was 1. His sense of justice and 2. His compassion.

Mirio is a symbol that can be controlled, a weapon if you will.

The fact that Mirio is at the top shows that things haven't changed and are even beginning to decline. So this brings me to my next point

You may be asking, if Midoriya's losing it in his own mind, what's the outside world look really like?.

Allow me to set the stage.

4. Speculation

Within Midoriya's muddled mind, Lemillion represents both his toxic optimism and a subconscious understanding that nothing has changed. It represents denial and acceptance, a dysfunctional middle ground that's easy enough for Midoriya to stomach.

The truth of the matter is, delusion or not, the reality is soon to sink in.

Something that I don't see discussed is the lack of reactions from other nations or really any insight into how they were affected by everything that happend.

Here's the idea: Most likely they are foaming at the mouth.

Particularly it's the countries who suffered under Imperial Japan in the past (Korea, China, Singapore etc), however this also applies to every nation Nedzu brow beat into aiding with the rebuilding efforts, albiet their reaction would be latent.

Not not only is the attitude painfully reminiscent of how Japan handles it's past atrocities, Japan has had them clean up their messes. seen below:

(you cannot tell me Big Red Dot over here is having a good time)

From an outside pov. The Commission never told anyone about AFO, rather they suppressed any information, locked him up in Tartarus and then sat on the whole situation until it blew up in their (read: everyones) faces.

He then proceeded to: kill over 8000 people (+ those killed during the Blackout period), kill the top hero of one of the world's most powerful nations and incite mass panic. Destroyed massive amounts of infrastructure and transport nationwide, broke thousands of criminals out of prison, destroying those prisons in the process.

Meanwhile the heroes:

Abandoned civilians in mass by quitting in the middle of a war.

Left the public in the dark for months and allowing crime and paranoia to grow rampant, even (forcibly) bringing someone they knew was being targeted by AFO and his forces to the one place they could find shelter.

Mutilated a seven year old girl. Who has a history of being mutilated for the gain of others and patted themselves on the back. (Also having no holdup on how that may effect her physically via her quirk or mentally via her trauma)

Mic: tried to kill a docile prisoner who could be considered in comatose, based off of his emotional attachment to a dead man + viewing it as justified if it meant Spinner couldn't get to him.

Used hospital staff and patients as meatshields (Central Hospital) during a riot.

Most had no qualms supporting a child beating eugenicist and implied marital rapist, even with his one of his victims exposed him and citing it as his main reason for turning to villainy.

Held an illegal questioning* with said abuser while ignoring his main victim (Rei, who is probably the most reliable source of information there)

(*which effectively is like conducting an investigation on yourself and declaring you are not guilty)

And so much more! (But this post is getting too long)

My point is by the time everything was said and done, it seemed everyone but Japan was paying for it.

It's outright stated that the US president risked national security by sending every hero they had to help Japan. (Impeachment worthy if you ask me)

Endeavor's little plan to kill himself and Dabi in a blaze of death ended up disrupting the weather. Very likely it'll end up resembling an El Niño phenomenon, only vastly off schedule and even more destructive than normal.

For Reference [https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/ninonina.html]

Very likely it'll lead to an agricultural drought in the northern America's and mass flooding in southern America's, likely starting at the west coast and bleeding inland. Leading to a domino effect where cost of living surges due to the sudden displacement of people and the rapid loss of products.

Worse still, because the US had no heroes (likely for months on end), crime has likely surged in the America's, which will further impact the rest of the world.

The rebuilding efforts likely emptied the wallets of most participating countries, leaving them unable to help anyone, including themselves.

Also keep in mind that Japan incriminated themselves with the Business Course footage. I don't think the general public (outside of Japan) is going to take too kindly to a known murder and abuse apologist being in charge of a system already known for it's corruption.

The end result is likely be a world that detests Japan, either from a moral perspective (Rei's treatment + the treatment of those society abandoned), a financial perspective (we can't afford shit and you contributed to that) or historical perspective (you do this everytime and ignore the consequences).

A world divided by struggle and united by an immense loathing for the Commission's Japan and the culture surrounding it.

Oh, don't forget there's no finding left for quirk research. Meaning that it's very likely no one will be prepared for quirk singularity to start manifesting in the upcoming generations (Thanks Nedzu).

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Update: Can I just say that Aizawa's lack of ownership infuriates me even though this is likely a fantasy and not grounded in reality.

Like what the fuck do you mean "with the way he talks, it was pointless" Fantasy Aizawa.

Because "Hey Asshole", You deliberately ignored his attitude and offenses!. And what? Now your just gonna shrug it off like it wasn't your fault. To hell with that you had two years, most teacher are said to only get one. As you so graciously mentioned at the start of this shit show of an epilouge.

Heres the moment I'm referring to btw:

While we're at it. Are you telling me it was too hard to get Momo some proper attire all three fucking years she was at UA for.

Not to mention Toru is still naked, how the fuck hasn't she died yet, she is literally exposed to the elements (and lord help her of she gets a cut)

Kirishima's costume is still his biggest liability considering it exposes his chest and back (also seeing as even when hardened he can't repell bullets)

Does Denki still fry himself with his quirk?

Before we move on Aizawa. How's that daughter you neglected, her horn still broken?.

Speaking of which let's look at the rescue team:

What the hell is this!?

Let's see, we got a guy who can only do damage (and his sweat detonates on contact, destroying whatever it touches.)

A brainwasher who only got into the hero course via nepotism and who can only brainwash people who directly respond to him!. A person trapped underneath rubble either frantic or groaning in pain isn't going to be able to respond or even just give consent.

(On a side note what are the laws regarding mind control quirks, does some sort of waiver have to be signed, can a person sue for being controlled against their consent?)

Oh, but wait there's more.

Midoriya running headlong with experimental tech that has, very likely never seen the light of day. Let alone preform in an actual high stakes situation before.

You're trying to carry someone and oops! Something malfunctioned or was miscalculated, now there's an even bigger mess (hooray!)

Who could forget Mezo "they'll come for your kids" Soji. Who climbed the ladder and pulled it all the way up.

Yeah forget that Heteromorph's were getting hate crimed long before the war, ignore the fact that you yourself were maimed by an angry mob after doing one of the most heroic things a person can do. Dismiss Spinner's comment about being sprayed with Pesticide for walking in public.

Nah screw it, let's all sing Kumbaya while the Creation Rejection Clan runs wild outside the reach of the cities, then ignore that the discrimination still is prevalent in the countryside and it's only a matter of time before somone gets fed up and takes matters into their own hands. (talons, claws, you get the picture)

But your a hero now Soji, you got your's. So fuck the rest of 'em

And don't even get me started on Hawks. Congratulations you ignorant bastard, way to kill time and by that I mean for everyone but the heroes.

"Yeah life is great!, everyone hates us, we're rapidly falling into debt from all that rebuilding 8 years back."

"Speaking of which some of those buildings are staring to fall apart due to being rushed to meet deadlines set within the month they were started."

"Social darwinism is on the rise and people are becoming more complacent that ever before due to heroes applying bandaid solutions on decade long, deeply ingrained problems."

"All so the average person doesn't have to think about what's festering beneath society's floorboards, so thank you Safety Commission. Here's your star of positivity ⭐️." - Some random anti-hero civilian

So much for greatest heroes, huh.

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UPDATE 2:

A dark thought I just had, is that the main reason Izuku killed Tomura was because Tomura broke the rule of "Forgiving Your Abusers makes you Good".

When Tomura refused to relinquish his hatred, when he stood his ground, that is when Midoriya decided he had to die. If not to "stop" him, then to preserve Midoriya's perception of the world .

Shigaraki + The LOV by their very ideals went against everything Midoriya has had beat into him by Bakugo and Aldera over the years.

Makes me wonder how'd he react to a person refusing to forgive their abuser. If he interacted with Natsuo or Rei, I could see that delving into a complete mess.

Now that I think about it, The Midoriya we know now, he would have never tried to hold onto Eri back when they first met.

Ironically, he became what he named himself after, a Deku. A puppet attached to thorns of liquid gold, glistening and burning hot.

A slave to his own biases and belief system, now trapped in a stage of his minds own making.

First bound by his past, then by legacy and finally, now by his own hand.

木偶.

#bnha critical #mha critical #hero society critical #anti bakugou #midoriya critical #just a bit #hawks critical #anti shinsou hitoshi #anti eraserhead #anti enji todoroki #anti endeavor #anti aizawa shota #anti aizawa #anti mirio #lov #league of villains

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 3 months ago

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This is complaining day because I realized there's more than one thing that got on my nerves lately and it's not just about the treatment of a kpop idol's mother. Let's begin.

Please, stop refering to Jungkook's mother as mama Jeon. I know the tendency is to ignore so many of the cultural differences that exist, but in SK, people don't change their surname after marriage. It just sounds idiotic and westernized in a ridiculous way.

So, Jungkook's mother loves all BTS members. She LOVES them all. How does army know that? How? I'm genuinely curious and genuinely asking. Because they say it as a certainty. Or, forgive me if my memory is faulty as well, but the only instance that we as outsiders were privy to in which we heard that woman speak for the first time, it was in early 2021 on another phonecall with Jungkook when she said I love you to Jimin.

Of course, the same ot7 narrative came as a buldozer at that time too. Damn, does that mean Jimin = BTS? Sometimes yes, but only when Army wants to diminish Jimin's importance and doesn't allow him to stand out individually too much. Musically or otherwise. But back to this Big Love that Jungkook's mom is supposedly feeling for everyone and which has been invoked once again when that woman mentioned Jimin twice while talking to Jungkook on the phone. Cause she already knew they were in Jeju. I bet she didn't have to find out randomly from a schedule group chat.

So what happens? An assumption is turned into certainty because of small people being extremely insecure. Because they see that one person is once again given more importance on a personal level and we can't have that. No sir! So in a panic, they tweet, they post on tumblr, tiktok, youtube the old age, boring af, sounding like a broken record sentence: "Mama Jeon loves all seven". Fuck me gently with a chainsaw cause that sounds a lot better than the feeling of throwing up I get whenever I read such things.

No, she doesn't love all of them. That is not a fact. It could be true and it's not impossible. But it is not a fact based on the knowledge we have at the moment.

Also, it shows once again that an entire fandom is actively creating a reality of their own which is not even like some sort of simulacrum of the reality they must live through. In Army world, the mother of one member of a k-pop group must love all the members of such group. It doesn't matter than irl, our mothers a lot of the times don't even like all our friends, besties or partners. We might have the most incredible connections and it would mean nothing to our mothers.

In that same vein, another narrative that makes me want to pull my eyes out is the "awww, their bond is to die for, they are (like) siblings after all". Do any of them never had any siblings? Never saw other people and their relationship with their siblings? Or with their family?

I also had to read (which was followed by me blocking it immediately) how Jimin and Jungkook's relationship is the sum of the other relationships they have with other BTS members. I mean, why would I have any sort of expectations from any of these people when they are completely incapable of looking at JM and JK as actual people. As persons with individual minds and an intellect of their own. Let alone the fact that their world does not stop with the presence of 5 other men. In what realistic scenario does this translate in real life? That's not how it works. Yes, we are social creatures and a product of our surroundings, but it is not in the way in which these stans believe it to be. They think that living in a dorm for a few years and working together with other people, it means that those experiences are the only ones that actually shape the personality of a person. They are real people, not fictional characters. I've never heard such ridiculous theories in my entire life, to be used as talking points about someone's behavior or relationship with another person.

Maybe the need to create this elaborate fantasy comes from the lack of love in their life, which then gets projected into this Disney, kumbaya, capitalist heaven narrative in which everyone is a big family and they love each other so much and equally and all the parents of all the children love every single member and thus, harmony is created. Love is always platonic and ever present. The complexity of human relationships must not exist.

#m thoughts #jikook #bts army #jimin #jungkook

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lvnleah · 3 months ago

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Welcome Home Rory.

nervous about posting this but here it is! I tried to make this as accurate as possible with the adoption process but I’m sorry if it’s wrong 💗💗

MARCH 2023

Beth and Viv always knew they wanted kids, it was something that had been brought up on their very first date. So when the conversation about having kids came up one evening, the two weren’t shocked or unprepared.

They sat together on their couch, Beth resting her head on Viv's shoulder. "Viv, do you still want to have a child?”

Viv paused the TV, nodding her head, “Yeah I do, why Mijn liefje?”

“I want to have a baby. I don’t feel like getting pregnant right now," Beth began, "With our schedules and everything, it just seems so complicated and I don’t think I could be out for longer than I’m already going to be.”

Viv nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I’d love to have a child right now but I don’t think I could handle pregnancy. What about adoption? I think we’re ready for a baby but neither of us is ready to go through pregnancy.”

A warm smile spread across Beth's face. "I've been thinking the same thing. We could give a child a family, it’d work out well too because we’ve got time at the moment to get to know them."

The couple had both been out with their ACLs for around four months now, just weeks between their injuries, so it meant that they had a lot of extra time on their hands.

Beth reached for her laptop on the coffee table, "Let's start looking into the process. We have a good support system, and I'm sure our families will be thrilled."

Viv squeezed Beth's hand, "Absolutely. We should also get in touch with an adoption agency. I know it can take a while, but I'm ready to start this journey with you."

The couple spent hours that night researching the different types of adoption, they never knew there were so many choices. They could adopt from foster care, internationally or privately. They settled on foster care, something that felt right for them.

The next few weeks were long and filled with lots of paperwork. In between their rehab, they filled out different applications and went through many background checks and interviews to make sure they were suitable to be parents.

Their social worker, Sarah, carried out many home checks to see if their home would be right for a child. Beth and Viv had never been as anxious in their life as they showed the older woman around.

“Thank you for showing me around your home,” Sarah smiled as she gathered her things, “I’ll be in contact within the next few days but I can assure you that you have a very loving home. The child you adopt will be so lucky to have you as their parents. I’m more than certain you’ll be approved.”

Viv and Beth exchanged an excited smile, “Thank you, Sarah.” Beth politely smiled.

They showed Sarah out before closing the door. Beth stood with her back to the door, an excited smile on her face before running into Viv’s arms.

“We’re going to be approved!” Viv grinned as she lifted Beth off of the floor.

A few days later, their approval came through and they were officially put on the adoption list. Days turned into weeks as Beth and Viv waited, their anticipation growing with each passing moment.

They continued with their rehab, trying to keep themselves busy, but the thought of their future child was always at the forefront of their minds.

One morning in late April, Beth's phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. She glanced at the screen and saw Sarah's name. Her heart skipped a beat as she answered the call.

"Hello, Sarah?"

"Hi, Beth! I have some wonderful news. We've matched you with a little girl named Rory. She’s four years old and has been in foster care for six months after her grandmother passed away. Would you be willing to meet her?”

Beth's eyes filled with tears of joy. "Oh my gosh, Sarah, that's incredible! When can we meet her?"

Sarah's laughter came through the phone. "How about tomorrow? We can arrange a visit at her foster home, and you can spend some time with her."

Beth quickly agreed, and as soon as she hung up, she rushed to find Viv. "Viv, we've been matched! Her name is Rory, and we can meet her tomorrow!"

Viv's face lit up with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. "Really? That's amazing!”

The couple spent the rest of the day preparing for their visit, making sure they had everything they might need to make a good first impression.

They hardly slept that night and were anxiously up the next morning. They arrived at Rory’s foster home, their hearts pounding with anticipation.

Sarah greeted them at the door, leading them inside to a cosy living room where Rory was playing with some toys with her foster mother. She looked up with curious eyes as Beth and Viv entered the room.

“Rory?” Sarah called out, grabbing the attention of the four-year-old. Rory’s head turned around, “I have some people I’d like you to meet.”

Rory shyly walked over with her foster mom, her fingers in her mouth while her other arm held her stuffed teddy.

“This is Beth,” Sarah smiled, pointing to Beth, “And this is Vivianne but you can call her Viv.”

"Hi, Rory," Beth said softly, kneeling to her level. "I'm Beth, and this is Viv. We’ve been so excited to meet you."

Rory studied them for a moment before giving a shy smile. "Hi."

“Hi Rory,” Viv smiled, Rory’s face screwing up in confusion at Viv’s accent, “Who’s this little guy?” Viv asked, tickling the stomach of Rory’s teddy.

Rory looked up at her foster mom who gave her a nod, “Twix.” Rory mumbled shily.

Viv gasped excitedly, “That’s a great name! Want to know a secret?” She asked Rory, getting a small smile and a nod, “At home, I have a teddy! His name is Flip, maybe one day we can have a teddy play date!”

Rory nodded, jumping on the spot a little, “Yes, yes! Twix loves to play, do you like to play?”

Beth and Viv exchanged a smile, their heartwarming at how sweet Rory was, “We love to play!” Beth smiled, “What kind of stuff do you and Twix like to play?”

Rory’s eyes lit up and she thought for a moment, “We like playing hide and seek! Oh! And colouring, you like colouring?”

“We do!” Viv smiled, nodding her head.

“You colour with me now?” Rory asked, getting a nod from the couple before taking their hands into hers, “Okay! Follow me!”

They spent the afternoon getting to know Rory, playing games, and reading stories. Her initial shyness gradually gave way to giggles and laughter as she warmed up to them. Beth and Viv couldn't help but giggle at everything the little girl did.

As the visit came to an end, Rory clung to Beth's hand, looking up at her with wide eyes. "Are you coming back?"

Beth's heart melted. "Yes, Rory. We’ll see you again very soon, okay?"

Over the next few days, Beth and Viv started to spend more time with Rory, which eventually progressed into full days together. Once Rory was comfortable, they took her to the park, enjoying picnics and playtime in the sunshine.

One day, after a full day of laughter and running around, Rory fell asleep in Viv’s arms on the way back to the car.

“Vivi!” Rory tiredly called out, her grip on Twix tight.

Viv looked down at the little girl. “Yes, mijn liefje?”

“I’m so tired!” Rory whined, stopping in her tracks. “Carry me, please?”

Viv smiled warmly, kneeling so she could scoop Rory into her arms. “Of course, sweetheart. You’ve been such a busy little bee today!”

As Viv cradled her, Rory nestled against her shoulder, her eyelids fluttering as she fought to stay awake. Beth walked alongside them, her heart swelling at the sight of them together.

“Looks like someone had a fun day,” Beth teased gently.

“Yeah,” Rory mumbled, barely opening her eyes. “Best day ever.”

Viv chuckled softly, adjusting her hold. “We’re so glad you think so! What was your favourite part?”

“Swinging!” Rory exclaimed, her enthusiasm barely contained even in her sleepy state. “And the ice cream!”

Beth grinned. “You were pretty impressive on those swings. You went so high!”

“I want to go higher next time!” Rory declared, her voice growing softer.

As they drove back to Rory’s foster home, the quiet hum of the car was comforting. Viv occasionally glanced back to see Rory peacefully sleeping, Twix nestled against her.

When they arrived there, Beth carefully unbuckled Rory and lifted her into her arms. “Let’s get you into bed, sleepyhead,” she whispered.

Rory stirred slightly but didn’t wake. They rang the doorbell before tiptoeing inside, Viv quietly followed, grabbing Rory’s blanket.

In her room, Beth laid Rory down, tucking her in gently. “Sweet dreams, little one,” she said softly, brushing a stray hair from Rory’s forehead.

Viv stood by the door, watching with a smile before the couple said goodbye to Rory’s foster mother. The couple climbed into their care before making their way home.

Beth turned to Viv, her eyes sparkling. “I can’t believe how much joy she’s already brought into our lives.”

“She’s a little ray of sunshine, isn’t she?” Viv agreed.

Beth nodded, “It feels like we’ve known her forever.”

“Right?” Viv smiled. “I think she’s already starting to feel at home with us.”

Eventually, once Rory was even more comfortable she expressed how she wanted to stay overnight with Beth and Viv. Sarah, their social worker, quickly arranged the overnight stay, excited about Rory’s growing attachment.

The night finally arrived, and the couple prepared their home to make it as welcoming as possible. They set up a cosy corner in the living room with blankets and pillows, creating a perfect little nest for movie night.

When Rory arrived, she was bouncing with excitement, holding Twix tightly. “I’m ready for a sleepover!” she declared, her eyes sparkling. “Can we watch a movie now?”

“Absolutely,” Viv laughed, brushing a strand of hair from Rory’s face. “What do you want to watch?”

“Can we watch a princess movie?” Rory asked, her face lighting up as they headed inside.

“Of course!” Beth replied, already pulling out a selection of their favourite films. They settled on Rapunzel, a classic, and soon the room was filled with the sounds of music and laughter.

As they cuddled together under the blankets, Rory sat in the middle as Beth sneaked in some popcorn, handing it to Rory with a grin. “Movie snacks are a must!”

Rory giggled, “This is the best!”

After the movie, they moved to the kitchen to make their mini pizzas. Rory was excited to help, spreading sauce and adding cheese and toppings with careful precision.

“Look! I made a smiley face!” Rory exclaimed, proudly showing off her creation.

“That’s amazing!” Viv cheered, giving her a high-five. “You’re an artist!”

As they waited for the pizzas to bake, they played games and chatted. Rory shared stories about her favourite things, from her love of animals to her favourite games at the park.

When it was finally time to eat, the pizzas came out hot and bubbling. They gathered around the table, laughter filling the air as they enjoyed their creations.

“This is the best sleepover food!” Rory declared, her mouth full of pizza.

After dinner, it was time for bed. Beth and Viv helped Rory brush her teeth and change into her pyjamas. As they settled into the living room with Rory nestled between them, they read her a bedtime story.

“Do you like this one?” Beth asked, holding up a colourful book that Rory had packed with her.

“Yes! Read it!” Rory said eagerly.

As Beth read aloud, Viv brushed Rory’s hair back gently. Rory listened, wide-eyed and engaged, making them both realise how far they had come in such a short time.

When the story ended, Rory yawned and snuggled closer to Viv. “Can we do this every night?” she murmured sleepily.

Beth exchanged a glance with Viv, her heart swelling. “We’d love to, Rory.”

Rory's eyes fluttered shut, and soon she was fast asleep, a peaceful smile on her face.

As Beth and Viv sat quietly, watching her sleep, Viv whispered, “I can’t believe how quickly she’s become part of us.”

Beth nodded and soon Viv scooped Rory up before carrying her to the room they’d set up for her. They both tucked her in, leaving the door on a jar before retreating to the living room.

Later that night, they moved to the kitchen to clean up. “We should plan more activities for the weekends,” Viv suggested. “Maybe a trip to the zoo?”

Beth smiled, already imagining the fun they would have. “That sounds perfect. She’ll love it!”

After everything was cleaned up, they settled on the couch, before heading to bed and checking on Rory, who was still sound asleep. “I think we’re doing great,” Beth said, a mix of disbelief and joy in her voice.

“Yeah, we are,” Viv replied softly, taking Beth’s hand in hers. “And it feels incredible.”

Finally, a few weeks later, Viv and Beth were approved to adopt Rory and officially became her parents. When Viv and Beth told Rory the news, it was like Christmas morning.

“Rory?” Beth said, sitting down beside the four-year-old.

Rory looked up, “Yeah, Beffy?”

“So, me and Vivi were wondering,” Beth started, “Would you like to live with us? Like sleepover, every single night and stay with us forever?”

Rory's eyes widened, and she blinked in surprise. The question hung in the air, and for a moment, it seemed like time itself held its breath. Then, with a radiant smile that could light up the darkest room, Rory nodded vigorously.

"Really, really, really?" she exclaimed, “I get to live with you like all my friends live with their Mummies and Daddies?”

Beth and Viv exchanged a glance, their hearts swelling with emotion. "Yes, Rory," Beth said, her voice steady. "We want you to be a part of our family forever."

Rory's joy bubbled over, and she flung her arms around both of them, hugging them tightly. "I love you, Beffy and Vivi!" she declared, her words muffled against their shoulders.

Tears welled up in Beth's eyes as she hugged Rory back. "We love you too, sweetie," she whispered. "More than anything."

Viv and Beth worked with Rory’s foster family on packing up all of her belongings, for one little girl there sure were a lot of clothes and toys. Rory said her goodbyes to her foster family before Viv helped strap her into the car.

The drive home was filled with Rory singing along to all the different songs Viv and Beth had put onto a playlist of her, a few of them being Viv’s favourite Taylor Swift songs.

When they arrived home, Rory was so excited to see before running off to her room to see how Viv and Beth had decorated. It was everything the little girl could’ve ever dreamed of.

The walls were pink just like she’d asked for and she had a true princess-style bed. There was a bookshelf in the corner, filled with all of her favourite books, as well as a little teepee for her to read in.

The couple spent the evening settling Rory in, after dinner they settled down onto the couch with Rory in her pyjamas and close by.

“Vivi, Beffy?” Rory asked.

Beth brushed back Rory’s hair from the spot she sat in between the couple, “Yes, sweetie?”

“My friends at school,” Rory started, anxiously playing with the ear of Twix, “they have parents and they call them Mummy and Daddy. What do I call you?”

Viv looked at Beth before speaking, “Well you can call us what you want. You can call us Beth and Viv, you can call us Mummy and Mamma or whatever you feel comfortable with!”

Rory hummed and thought for a second before speaking, “I like Mummy and Mamma!”

“Well you can call us that if you want, it’s totally up to you,” Beth smiled.

“Mummy and Mamma!” Rory smiled, “I like that! You my Mummy and Mamma!”

Beth and Viv exchanged a happy grin and eventually Rory fell asleep in between them. They carried the little girl to her bed before heading back to the living room.

Soon, a soft sound interrupted them. They looked over to see Rory standing in the doorway, her eyes still heavy with sleep. “Can I sleep with you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course, sweetie,” Beth said, smiling.

Viv walked over to Rory before she knelt to Rory's level. “You want to come snuggle with us for a bit?”

Rory nodded, her face lighting up. Viv carried her over to the couch, Rory still holding Twix tightly.

As they all settled in, Beth wrapped an arm around both Viv and Rory. “This is perfect,” she said softly.

Viv leaned in closer, planting a kiss on Rory’s head. “We’re so lucky to have you, Rory.”

#awfc #lvnleah #beth mead x vivianne miedema #beth mead #vivianne miedema #our little love

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ninyard · 6 months ago

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Heyy! You said someone should ask you about Kevin under this post about Kevin's struggles from the nest of which we don't know enough... So I'm asking you about Kevin! Please tell us your Kevin thoughts! You always make very good points and I like reading your thoughts!!

cody my friend I am so glad you asked but you might regret it. i hope you're prepared from an unorganised huge convoluted MESS of a ramble

i've been thinking for a few days about this one like... what would a kevin POV look like? what is he hiding? how does he cope? WHO IS HE?

the kevin we ""know"" is a "coward", an insufferable bitch, an asshole and a hardass. other people's opinions and view of him makes up the entirety of our impression of who he is. but that's not who he is. that's just who we're supposed to believe he is.

kevin, born and bred to have this... borderline psychopathic lack of empathy, who can look his teammates in the eye after being told seth is dead or andrew is being committed and say, "what about the game?"

but when the raven's are switching districts; his sense of danger and fear is paralysing. he's three steps ahead trying to figure out how to please riko, how to keep himself safe, willing to put himself back into the centre of his abuse just to stop riko from finding him and killing him. he has to get blackout drunk to deal with any amount of riko. he's frozen with fear by being in the same room as him.

kevin knows where jean's mind and body goes to when hes panicking, knowing his worst place is right back in the nest being drowned by riko. kevin telling neil "do you know what he'll do to you?" and "he'll break you" when neil asks for his ticket. kevin's text to him before he goes into the nest, and staring at neil like he'd seen a ghost when neil returns after the nest (when he looks like the butcher). his comforting "i know what he's like" or "i know how he sees you, i know it means he did not hold back,".

kevin nervous breakdown panic attack day vs kevin smile for the cameras one track exy mind day

im so intrigued by him. how does he cope? his mother is dead, probably killed by the mafia family he was raised by. he grew up into a cult, he was only a child watching neil's father cut a man into pieces in front of him. how many other's had he seen?

how many other injuries cover his body, in places where the cameras can't see? how many rapes and assaults was he forced to watch in the nest? how many beatings was he forced to participate in? what did he have to say to jean in french that he didn't want riko to hear?

he needs someone with him all the time because of the nest. he's a "health freak" because of the nest. his sleep schedule, his anger, his anxiety.

did he say "what about the season?" re: andrew after drake because he doesn't care, or did he think "i've seen this happen too many times. and they've always kept playing,"? did he think "andrew is the strongest person i know. andrew is stronger than me. he would never let this destroy him," knowing that it has?

nobody has protected him in his life apart from the cameras and andrew.

he's scared. he doesn't know what love is supposed to look like.

he's only been a human for a year.

his scars are healing for the first time in his life and they're not being replaced by new ones, but every day he's afraid that that's going to get ripped out from underneath him. his entire life already got flipped upside down when he left the nest. of course exy is the only thing he "cares" about.

because it's the only thing that's been certain in his life, and even for those few weeks or months where he thought he would never play again, he trained and trained, and learned how to use his non-dominant hand because he can't lose this. he can't lose exy like he's lost everything else.

kevin has never had anything stable in his life except for violence and exy. now he has people he's supposed to care about, and he has to change his priorities. he has to learn how live a life that isn't fueled by self-preservation for the first time ever.

jean was only in the nest for five years; and look at him. look at what the nest has done to his social skills, his view of himself, his self esteem. look at what it's done to him, how he expects violence and contrition, coach and always waiting and waiting and waiting for the punishment to come.

kevin might not have had the same level of physical abuse that jean had, but he was there far longer. the ravens existed before him; their mindset and their abuse and their violence and their poison.

he's been drinking the raven poison since his childhood. the only difference between him and jean other than those things above is that kevin had more pressure to hide it, because he was half of the face of the ravens, half of the face of Exy; media trained or PR trained or a master at being a fraud and faking the way he speaks when he's being recorded.

kevin knows how to hide his abuse because he has always had to, and he's had quite a lot of practice at it.

kevin has only been a human for a year. kevin has only been kevin for a year.

so who is he? does he even know?

or is he just Kevin Day, Raven Fox starting striker, number two, six foot two, left handed right handed left handed, heavy racquet, stick size five? is that all he will ever see himself as?

anyways. or something like that. maybe he is just an insufferable bitch for no reason at all. who knows!

#just thinking about him okay....#something something baby girl #oh god im so sorry once again that this got so long LMAO #kevin day #aftg #tfc

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steakout-05 · 11 months ago

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technically it's actually 311223 where i live because we write our dates like normal people differently but the thought counts :)

#reblog #this is such a boomer thing to reblog but you know what? bugger off i'll reblog boomer stuff if i want #one of my special interests (garfield) could be considered boomer if you squint #also i put a reminder on my phone specifically to reblog this but i couldn't find the original post #so this one from someone who i think has pet chickens will do :)#i love chimkems......#also of you're wondering in australia we write our dates like day-month-year #it's in sequential order it makes sense and it's easy to quickly glance at when you need the date #why does america write them like month-day-year that's so weird #you have to look in the middle of the date just to know what day it is??? what????#do you know how many times i've gotten the dates switched and have had to swap them around #just to know what date it is because i realised they're written the american way.#actual pain.#like what's the difference between may the 3rd and the 5th of march if there virtually is none. i can't tell #may 3rd and march 5th look exactly the same in both countries ways of writing dates and i'm so confused #why not just use one way of writing dates that isn't confusing and doesn't result in people missing events #''just change the country then!'' why should i have to change the setting on a website-#-just to know when something's scheduled or when it's been posted!!!! that's dumb!!!!!#also sometimes you can't do that!!!!#ALSO why would you want a date structure like that. you gotta skip a number and jump to the middle of the date #just to know what day it is that's so clunky and confusing #just write them in chronological order. day goes first. then month. then year.#they're the less important bits of immediately needed information therefore they're at the end of the date!!#anyway..... what was this post about again...... oh yeah it's 123123 #sorry for going on a rant about dates in the tags lol i'm oddly passionate about it #new years goals: revolutionise date order structures globally so no one has to be confused anymore #can't believe its the end of 2023 already... this wasn't even a year for me bro #2023 was separated into two sections for me: life before dropping out and life after dropping out #going to school this year felt like it was last year that's how long ago it was #like i went to school this year??? no fucking way

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ssivinee · 1 year ago

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✧Picture Perfect✧

BEBE! Bada Lee x Model! F Reader: Bada is scheduled to send a choreography demo in 2 days, and with the members of Bebe by her side, they've been preparing for the filming day. You decide to stop by their studio to give your little sister and her friends some food, but get more than just a thank you.

Word Count: 5k

Note: First fic, and it's Bada??? Was gonna wait to post this but I got way too excited. Half-proofread.

Character Vision Board

It was 5 p.m. in the JustJerk dance studio, and Team Bebe's Lee Trio spent the whole day brainstorming ideas for their upcoming project. Well it was mainly Bada doing all the work as she was the lead choreographer. She had just been given the opportunity to work on Rover by Kai, which she gladly accepted.

By now, Bada had been Kai's favorite choreographer, as she slowly becoming an in-house choreogrpaher for multiple SM groups. The two loved working with each other, and when Bada worked with him, she always had Lusher and Tatter by her side. As Bada was Kai's main girl, Tatter and Lusher were Bada's.

Yet somehow, after knowing them for so many years, Bada was surprised to hear about Tatter's unkept secret.

"You have a sister?" Bada questions, almost yelling, as she paces around the studio. The younger girls eye her. They look at each other in concern and a glint of mischief.

"Yup, and unnie is your age," Tatter says as she sends messages to her older sister, sending her directions to their bulding and the room.

"Why do you seem so worried, unnie?" Lusher teases, and Bada raises her arms in defeat, "I'm meeting your older sister, who I didn’t even know existed, for the first time, and I look like a mess right now." She sulks, and the two giggle.

Bada, noticing Lusher's lack of reaction, points at the girl accusingly, "You knew she had a sister?!" The brunette shrugs nonchalantly, "I met her a few times already. The other day, I saw her at the mall, and she bought me this stuffed animal key chain. She's basically my girlfriend now." Lusher grabs her keys, showing them off to the two.

Bada's eyes widen at the statement, walking up to the younger to inspect the key chain. It was a stuffed Pororo head, and she couldn't help but smile at the resemblance of the chain to her fellow dancer.

Tatter rolls her eyes hard, smacking Lusher's forehead lightly. "You and your delusions about my unnie."

"A girl can dream," Lusher says, lying on the floor as she scrolls through her phone.

The door then opened and revealed a tall woman who held a bag of food in her hand. She looked as if she had just gotten off the runway.

If Bada was worried about looking like a mess due to her dancing, she had other problems now. Her face couldn’t hide the stunned look that formed.

The smile on your face had the studio's energy go in reverse. Upon seeing the woman, Bada's usual gaze turned into puppy eyes, looking ever so helpless.

She knew to expect someone pretty since Tatter was stunning, but she didn't expect this. You looked like a goddess, as a specific energy radiated off you, and Bada couldn't pinpoint what it was.

Tatter jumps up, seeing her older sister, and pulls her towards the two. "Yah, yah, you're gonna pull my arm off," you joke to your sister, swatting her arm away. Your eyes meet a familiar pair on the floor, and you crouch beside the younger girl, patting her head.

"Lusher, how have you been?"

"I've been good unnie, just tired." Bada watches your interaction with smiling eyes as she sees the pout form on your lips. You give Lusher a warm and long hug as she sighs, relaxing into your body.

Tatter takes the bag out of your hand and begins pulling you again, but this time towards Bada.

"Y/n unnie, meet Bada unnie. Bada unnie, meet Y/n unnie." The blond introduced you two frantically, and you chuckled at your sister's high energy despite knowing she’d been dancing all day. Bada's eyes meet yours, and you can feel a sense of warmth engulfing you.

"Bada-nim, I've heard a lot about you," you give her a gentle handshake, and the tall dancer wanted to melt right on the spot. Your hands felt soft and warm despite the weather outside having a cold breeze.

She only jokes, "Hopefully, only good things," trying to cover up her nerves. "Of course, thank you for taking care of my sister," you tell her genuinely. Your statement makes Bada feel fulfilled for some reason.

"We should eat now?" You question the three, and the two younger ones just cheer, both racing to the fried chicken you brought for them.

This causes the two girls to sit together and chat, so you and Bada have no choice but to get to know each other. You deemed it to be a good thing, though. You'd finally meet the woman your little sister admired so much, almost to the point that she couldn't shut up about the sisterly love they had for each other.

"So Bada-nim-"

She cuts you off, "Please just call me Bada." You nod at the sincerity of her voice, and you smile, seeing her face show anything but. Her eyes held a sense of nervousness behind them as she fiddled with her fingers.

"So Bada, how long have you been dancing for?"

"God, for as long as I can remember. I'd say I started around 9 years ago."

You looked confused as you chewed on some chicken, "Only 9? Seems like you've been doing this for longer." Bada's brow raises in interest, "You've seen how I dance?"

"Who hasn't? It also doesn't help that Tatter shoves your videos in my face after every filming."

Your sister hears you and gives the two older ones an innocent smile, and you threatened her by pretending to hit her. "So you know about me, but I don't know anything about you."

"Well, have the pleasure of getting to know me, Bada," you kid, but she looks at you in sincerity. "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a model under YG KPLUS," you say as you sip on the water. Bada's eyes widen, but she then chuckles, "That would make a lot of sense."

"How about hobbies?" She asks, and you glance at her, seeing she pays so much attention to you as you speak. You try to cover up your flustered state by eating more chicken, "I like to read and paint as well."

"Oh, and dance." You say it as if you forget, despite ironically being in a dance studio.

That almost set Bada off into space. You had a sense of humor, seemed intelligent, genuine, caring, had a pretty smile, AND you like to dance? Let's remember the fact that you are gorgeous as well.

In Bada's eyes, you had it all.

"Would you wanna try what we're working on?" Bada asks, and Lusher's eyes linger on the two. It was an unspoken rule amongst dancers to refrain from talking about a piece you working on as it has to do with an unreleased song by an artist. Yet her stern teacher was willing to break that rule just for you.

"Don't you think Bada unnie is acting weird around your sister?" Lusher whispers to the blond as the two watch the model and oldest dancer stretching in the center as they talk. "What do you mean?"

"I mean-" Lusher can't finish her sentence as Bada begins teaching you by counts.

Bada's gaze never left your body as you executed every move she showed you. Your outfit exuded idol energy, and your height enhanced the power you added to each movement. Her ears listening to your heeled boots clacking with almost every step.

She then presents the fast-paced portion of the dance, hitting every move with a manly sense of feeling. This was supposed to be the most challenging part of the song, yet you copied it perfectly in one go.

"Do you get your skills from your unnie, Taeyoung-ah?" Bada jokes at the younger girl, even using her real name, who can only respond with a faked, irritated face.

She turns on the music and counts the both of you in, and you go off. Even with solid hits and many dynamic changes, your body flowed elegantly, taking a more fluid approach with every movement.

Bada can't even be upset at the style you chose to stick with. It suited you the most.

"OMG, Unnie!" Tatter squeals as you finish, pleased at the results you showed after learning the choreo of the final chorus in less than 10 minutes.

"I knew you could dance, but I didn't think you'd get it that fast, unnie," Lusher tells you, and you begin feeling shy.

"Hey, I might not do it for a living like you guys, but I love to dance too."

"Do you dance often?" Bada asks, and you nod, "Yeah, I usually dance at YGX with Lee Jung in my free time since it's convenient."

Bada looks at you, a bit offended. "You've been dancing with Lee Jung and not with us?" She gestures to the three of them with her hand, and you giggle at her action. "As I said, the KPLUS building is 30 minutes away from here, so just going to their studio saves me more time."

"Come here from now on," you're taken aback a little, Bada's tone more demanding. You look at your sister, who gives you furious, encouraging nods as Lusher gives you a double thumbs up.

You smile, turning to Bada, who looks pleased even if you haven't answered. With an eye roll and a tiny chuckle, "Fine."

You had an off day on Friday and decided to stop by the JustJerk Academy. As your sister told you about one of the classes today, your mood instantly boots, wanting to feel the freedom of dancing again. Styling yourself in a more comfortable baggy look, you enter the building, seeing a few faces you recognize from Street Man Fighter.

The one you were closest to, J-ho, sees and greets you with wide eyes. "Y/n? What are you doing here?" You hug him as his friends look your way. "I decided to take a class here today. Tatter wouldn't shut up about it all week." You tell them, and your eyes meet the two others.

J-ho realizes you're meeting them for the first time and brings you over to the two. "Y/n, meet Howl and Young-j. Guys, this is Y/n. She's Tatter's older sister." You shake their hands, and Young-j gasps, "That's why you looked so familiar," you giggle at the over-exaggeration.

"I thought you usually dance over at YGX?" You shrugged in response, "A certain someone wanted me to come here from now on."

"Tatter?" You shake your head at your sister's name. "Lusher?" You shake your head again, and the guys begin wondering curiously, but Howl's eyes look at you suspicously, eliminating all other choices, "Bada?"

"Ding ding ding!" You exclaim, and Young-j looks over, surprised. "Bada inviting someone to her class? That's not something you hear every day."

This piques your interest, "Why not?"

J-ho looks at the window door where the lesson would be held, "She usually doesn't invite people. We kinda just show up every now and then." You nod at the new information.

"Well, let me head in before my sister bombs my phone with messages."

They wave you off, and as you enter, your eyes meet multiple students ranging from many ages. You are astonished by the variety of people in the room. Many foreigners, teens, and adults joined Bada's class, demonstrating the woman's immense popularity.

Seeing Tatter and Lusher in the corner, you mingle your way over. The blonde's eyes expand, and you giggle at her jittery reaction. You loved how your sister got excited, as you were usually too busy to hang out with her despite living in the same apartment. The two girls hug you, and Lusher stays by your side, leaning her head on your arm due to the height difference.

You check around, not seeing the tall teacher, and wonder, "She's not here yet?"

"J-ho and the guys are waiting for her so they can join us today."

"Oh, that's why oppa was outside?" They both nod. "Well, what song are we doing today?"

"Bada unnie is teaching Shirt by SZA again," Lusher grumbles, and Tatter only laughs at her partner. You look at the girl with a fond smile, "Does she teach it often?"

Tatter acknowledges, "Yeah, it's one of her most popular choreographies. It's basically high in demand amongst students."

As you three begin to stretch and chat, Bada walks in a few moments later with her phone, water, and the JustJerk boys following behind her. She was fitted with one of her iconic jerseys, some black cargo pants, and a basic black cap.

During your time modeling, you've met many attractive people ranging from the short, petite, girly women to the tall, elegant, sophisticated types. Yet Bada was seemingly different to you.

Women in Korea typically liked the cute or sexy feminine aesthetic, but the tall dancer was on the opposite spectrum of that. You'd expect to not be fond of her style due to the clothes you modeled for, but you can't help but find Bada irresistible, likely due to her height.

Mind you, the two of you had the same stature.

When Bada's eyes meet yours, her face looks satisfied. "Y/n, I'm glad you decided to join us and not Lee Jung this time," she quips. You decide to tease her, "Well, I was just thinking how someone might get mad at me if I didn't."

"I don't think I'd be mad," Bada ponders but then smirks, "Maybe jealous." You smack her arm lightly and giggle. This woman knew how to make a woman feel wanted, and god, was she good at it.

"We'll start attendance in 10 minutes, so make sure you're all warmed up by then." The latter announces, and everyone gets to stretch. "You think you'll be ready for this?" She asks in a jesting manner. "I'm born ready, Bada." You say in the same tone, but it holds more sincerity. This excites Bada, who wants to see you dance again like last week.

The class began, and it was the most fun you felt. Bada made her classes feel liberating; you wouldn't have it any other way for dance. Your eyes never left her body, always following and copying every movement she did without hesitation.

Everyone begins to notice your presence once you start practicing in the mirror near the edge of the room. Some even recognized your face, causing everyone to whisper amongst one another. You had connected everything Bada had taught and spaced into your own world. Tatter looks at you, admiring your passion, and Lusher looks at you with a simple smile.

On the other side of the room, Bada tried to help dancers who asked, but her vision always traveled to you. She focused on how you marked your movements and positions, using little energy. You gave off perfectionist energy, and Bada could tell as she was one herself.

This causes Bada to contemplate. She wanted to dance with you, but she also wanted to watch as you go full out. After thinking for a while, she decides to film by herself, then let you, Tatter, and Lusher film as the last group.

"You okay with that?" She asks you, and you become eager. "Of course. I haven't danced with my sister in a long time," you say as Tatter stays by your side, hugging your waist ever so tightly.

"Alright. Everyone, we'll begin filming soon! After my take, I'll call some people for groups."

Everyone takes their places in the back of the room, and you, your sister, Lusher, and the JustJerk boys stay more on the sidelines, wanting to watch the front view of Bada's expertise.

Once the music turns on, Bada grooves until the bass hits, and the music begins taking control of the dancer. The control and power this woman had on her body amazed you. Her lines and angles were crisp. The small jolts that led to fluid movements caused an impressed smile to form on your face.

As she ends the piece, she points at you with heavy breaths, your face now flustered by her gesture. Luckily the lights in the academy were dim, or else Tatter and Lusher would be on your ass about it right now.

If Bada wanted to play that game, you'd oblige. Nearing the end of filming, you three were now up, and needless to say, Bada was waiting for this the entire time. You were in the center due to your height.

As the music begins, Tatter hypes you up a little before getting into the groove, and you weren't one to disappoint a crowd, ever. You hit the moves exactly and start to enjoy the spotlight a bit more.

Blood stain on my shirt, new bitch on my nerves.

When that line comes in, you feel up your body more than Bada initially teaches, and the crowd cheers at the new flavor you added. The choreo looks more sensual in the direction you take. Your sassiness, attitude, and vibe made Bada look affectionately at you as she squatted on the ground, watching you three.

Bada felt a little guilty, yet her gaze never left your body despite her dancers being right beside you. You extended your body in ways the tall dancer couldn't comprehend, seemingly like you had prior ballet training. Now she wondered why you were a model if you were this amazing at dancing. But once she looks at your face, she realizes why you may have made that choice.

Let you all in my mental, got me looking too desperate Damn, you ain't deserve.

Your body turns, preparing to move your hips. You smirk over at Bada, who has all her attention on you. Your gaze uttered pure seduction as your hips hit every tick of the song. You drag your thumb and drag it to your waist and feel your midriff up.

Everyone cheers at your sexy ending, and you bow, beginning to feel the aftermath of the dance. Bada's claps grow intense as she smiles at the three of you. Having no restraint, she hugs you tightly, and you let out an airy laugh, adoring the reaction.

The next few weeks followed, and you had been returning to the JustJerk studio almost every Friday. It made Bada look forward to the end of her week as the two of you had gotten closer.

In the second week, Bada began filming with Tatter and Lusher in her group and you. You diversified the style of dance the group brought in every video, and the people loved it. The views began to gradually increase as your appearances became more regular.

You entered the studio on a random Tuesday morning, expecting to be along for the day. Wanting to feel the freedom of dancing by yourself. Connecting your phone to the speaker, your body grooved to the shuffled songs, mainly freestyling. Bada, on the other hand, came into the studio, planning to work on some new choreography until she read that one of the studios was being used.

She was puzzled, aware that no one had a schedule that included classes on a Tuesday. Out of curiosity, she peeks her head at the window and sees your familiar figure. Bada opens the door a little to hear the song you are currently dancing to, and her ears begin to be filled with L.A. Love by Fergie and YG.

You swayed, not using your usual style, and Bada became more intrigued by you. She had only ever seen the elegant and sexy side of you, but you showed many more aspects of hip-hop, and Bada's slight smirk unconsciously widens. You were just capable of everything, huh?

Your body flinches at the claps, and you rest a hand on your beating chest, shocked at Bada's company. "Dude, you almost gave me a heart attack."

She comes in and sets her stuff down in the front. "So you had that in you, and you weren't gonna even show it?" You chuckled heavily, still feeling tired from the freestyle. "It's not a style I'm super confident in performing," and Bada's jaw slacks at your statement.

"Not confident? Impossible," her face shows the confusion that wavers in her statement.

"Come on," she lends a handout, and you accept it, but you grow bewildered as she pulls you into the other room with your guy's items in hand. "What are you gonna do with me?"

Bada's thoughts spiral at the question, knowing you didn't mean it in that way. "I want you to help me for the next class."

"How so?"

"Let's make some choreo together." She simply states as she stretches on the floor. Now your eyes widen, "Bada, I've never taught a class before, let alone make a dance," the anxiety growing in your voice. "If you can dance as well as you do, you can do it. Besides, you're not alone here. You have me." She gives you the cutest smile ever, and you just want to squeeze her cheeks but refrain to avoid embarrassment for the both of you.

She puts on the song, and you hear BILLIE EILISH by Armani White. Your face immediately brightened at the music, and you began grooving, moving into the freestyle. Bada secretly films you, leaving her phone on the floor in your direction. She then joins you, the two of you moving differently, but it works too well. Your duo dynamic seemed to get stronger as the song repeated repeatedly.

Bada could control your body while you could play with hers. Using the usage of your baggy shirts, the two of you touch each other up more than ever. Once 30 minutes go by, Bada stops the filming, and you gasp lightly. "You were recording the entire time?"

"It'll help the ideas come in. Watch." She gestures you over on the floor, and you two begin to watch as you sit beside each other. As it gets to the point where you two become touchy, both of you develop red in color. You peek over at the girl, not realizing the close proximity of your faces, and your breath hitches. Bada's eyes meet yours, and you know you can hear each other's hearts pounding against your chests.

Bada leans closer, but before she gets even close enough, loud music plays from the speaker, scaring the both of you away from each other. Almost feeling as if the two of you had just got caught. Two flustered dancers occupied the room, and Bada coughed, breaking up the slightly awkward silence.

"We should use a lot of the moves from the final dance," you nod, not even having recovered from the previous interaction. The two of you began working, and by the end of the day, you had a successful dance for Friday's class.

Both of you began packing your bags, and Bada looked at you, "You wanna get something to eat? I'll pay?"

"Free food? Count me in," Bada chuckles at your enthusiasm. The two of you stop by a cafe near the studio. It was puppy-themed, and your eyes twinkled at the cuteness of the space. You two sit, order, and eat as Bada makes conversation.

"I just need to ask why you decided to be a model instead of a dancer."

You laugh at her face as she asks you with soft eyes and a mouth filled with bread. "Well, I was scouted by YG about 6 years ago, and it was supposed to be a part-time gig for the most part, but by my first years, I was too deep in to back out. I started getting contracts from other companies, so I decided to stick with it. Dancing became just a hobby for me at that point."

You thought more deeply before elaborating, "Don't get me wrong, I loved dancing with all my heart and soul. I took so many classes when I was younger. My mom signed Taeyoung up for jazz while I mainly focused on ballet, but everything happened, so I stopped."

Your voice began to fade, feeling the heaviness of the confession for the first time. You had a particular passion and drive for dancing when you were younger. Yet when you were given greater opportunities, that love began to wither to the back of your mind. This sense of disappointment in yourself started weighing on you, but being the optimist you are, you shake your head at the thoughts.

"After 4 years of no dancing, I met Lee Jung, and she invited me to their studio at one point. I fell back in love as soon as I stepped foot in that studio. It just felt like home for me."

Bada beams at you, understanding the feeling, but her heart goes haywire again at your words. "I also want to thank you, you know? I don't know what it is, but dancing with you makes me feel..."

You couldn't put it into words and absent-mindedly look at her. "It makes me feel like the old me." Bada's heart swells at the thought you felt grateful for her. That statement made Bada's year.

"Well, let's keep doing great things together," The both of you grin at her words.

And the two of you did just that. Your presence in the dance studio was so constant that you strayed away from modeling a little. You and the tall dancer made more dances together, and you even started teaching some of the classes with Bada by your side.

After multiple classes, you two would hang out almost like you couldn't live without each other's company. You watched movies, went shopping, and went to an arcade with Bada. The both of you loving the friendship that had formed. You even took Bada to a picnic at the park, where you guys ate snacks and painted on mini canvases.

Safe to say, the two were in love after knowing the other for about 3 months.

The latest piece was what changed the course of your relationship. You guys decided to do a duo choreography, but the song is what set off everything.

PILLOWTALK by Zayn.

The preparation for the song was filled with pure sexual tension and heated moments. It got to the point where you thought it may be too much, especially for some students, but Bada shuns away the thoughts, saying, "They're gonna love it, don't worry."

It was finally the day to teach, and the two of you were nervous yet not openly exhibiting it. Your sister and Lusher were aware of the dynamic between you, too, seeing the loving and caring eyes you had for each other, but as neither of you did anything about it, they didn't say anything either.

Though, this week, Tatter was suspicious of how you acted. You showed much more compassion, lovingness, and happiness. Not that this was anything new from you, but Tatter couldn't shake that it was more prominent and likely due to Bada.

The class went smoothly, other than people gasping or being in awe of the move you two developed together.

Everyone felt the intimacy you two radiated.

"I feel like we're interrupting their moment," Tatter jokes to Lusher, but the two were happy at the relationship you two had established right now, even if it wasn't to the point the two wanted for the both of you.

When filming for JustJerk's channel began, it felt like the room was set ablaze. You rested your hands on Bada's abs while she rested her arm around your waist. Both of you wearing crop tops, so there was nothing but skin-to-skin contact. Your warm bodies mixed with one another, both hands not leaving each other's body at any point of the choreo. When you two end, the pose had your arms wrapped around Bada's neck, her hands gripping your waist, foreheads resting on each other.

In that instant, it felt as if you two were the only people in the room, but the moment was interrupted by everyone's claps and cheers. You two bow with hand in hand.

You, Lusher, Tatter, and Bada were left in the studio at the end of class. The younger girls were already done packing and were about to go until the blond and brunette duo pulled their leader to the corner of the room.

"Bada, you need to ask out my sister, please," Bada takes a step back in surprise as her eyes look over to you, who lay on the floor just scrolling through Tiktok. "Seriously, unnie, you two not dating is killing us two," Lusher adds, and Bada lets out an airy laugh.

She looks over at you again, smiling as she sees your cheesing grin from the video you watched. "Fine," she mumbles to the younger girls, shooing them away secretly.

"Y/n unnie, we'll be heading out now," the two wave off, and as the door closes, Bada approaches you, helping you up from the floor.

"You wanna head out to get some food? I found a new place about 20 minutes away," You speak up, but Bada doesn't respond. "Y/n?"

You look at her, worried at her serious tone, "What happened? Are you okay?" You hold her arms in concern, but Bada pouts. "I'm not."

Your puppy eyes form, and you grow even more uneasy. "Why, what happened? Why are you so sad?"

Bada's head looks down, but she forces herself to grab your hands, "I think I'm in love with you," she whispers, and your heart feels like it's beating at 100 miles per hour. Your faces were almost as close as your ending pose for the dance, and your breath got shaky.

Fuck, was all you thought, and you pulled her in for a kiss. It felt as if every emotion and feeling you both had came crashing down.

Bada is surprised but falls into it slowly, resting her hands on your waist. Your vanilla-tasting lips had Bada hooked as she drowned in your scent. Your warm hands are left on her face as you pull away. "I'm in love with you too," you whisper, and Bada smiles.

This was the happiest moment you both wished for, and it finally happened.

A/n: This is my first fic, and it was super nerve-wracking to post this, but this was the first fic I was ready to release.

I have so many drafts, some of which aren't Bada either, but we'll see if I ever release anymore.

I'll also be posting. I have some mood boards for each OC, which I got inspiration from @1luvkarina. It tells a lot more about the character that you guys may not be able to get from the story.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it!

-sivine

#bada lee #swf2 #bada lee x reader #street woman fighter 2 #street woman fighter x reader #swf 2 x reader #gxg #bebe x reader #bebe #bada lee x fem reader #JustJerk #wlw #ssivinee

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destinationtoast · 3 months ago

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*waves shyly* Hello!! First off, I absolutely adore all of your stats and get excited when you post new ones -- thank you so much for all that you do!

Secondly, a friend and I have been discussing fandom longevity lately, and I wondered if you have thoughts? Subjectively, it seems to us that new fandoms tend to have more quick bursts of fandom activity when a new season/movie/book/etc comes out that fades quickly with time, whereas older established fandoms have more staying power. I'm curious if you have any insight about whether this is objectively true in most cases or not, and as to whether or not the type of canon source material matters (eg show-based fandoms vs book-based fandoms). I hope you're having a great day <3

Hi there, and thanks! :D This is a great question, and one I have been having a bunch of conversations about lately.

I share this subjective experience -- it sure seems like the attention span of fans and lifespan of fandoms is shorter than it used to be, when I think of how quickly people stop talking about a bunch of newer movies and TV shows these days. And then I see some of the older fandoms like Harry Potter still producing a ton of new fanworks, and I think, "Wow, maybe new fandoms just don't have the staying power of older ones." At the same time, I also question how objectively true/simple that story is for a few reasons, including:

Memory bias: When we look back on the past, the fandoms we remember most are usually the ones that lasted a long time. So our estimates of past fandom longevity may be overly generous.

Changes to fandom size: Maybe any changes to fandom lifespan are mostly due to some other change, like fandom size... Attention is more splintered these days than it used to be across more streaming services/etc, and I think there are more, smaller fandoms than there used to be. Maybe if a fandom doesn't get really huge, it's just not likely to last that long.

For TV fandoms -- changes to canon release schedule: most TV shows used to have seasons that lasted most of the year, so they had a lot more reason to stay in the public mind longer. Now many seasons are shorter and sometimes drop all at once. Perhaps if we compared popular TV procedurals with 22 episodes/season from now vs. ~a decade ago, we'd see similar patterns of fandom activity?

I've been thinking about ways to try to gather quantitative data about the changes, and testing out a few methods. A few ideas I've had:

Look at the Tumblr official lists of top fandoms and see whether the top fandoms tend to leave the top 20 rankings faster now than they used to. (The Tumblr rankings go all the way back to 2013 on a yearly basis, at least -- I'm not sure how long they've been releasing the weekly lists; those may have started later.)

Look at AO3 fandom activity after new canon infusions - how quickly does activity drop off after a new movie/book/video game release, or after a TV season ends? How has the rate of activity dropoff changed over the years? (And how much of that seems to be explained by other factors, like fandom size?)

See how quickly AO3 authors/creators tend to migrate to new fandoms, and how that's changed over time - many authors tend to be active in multiple fandoms, so we'd have to define what it means to migrate to a new fandom, but I think we could do so in a way that would allow us to look for changes.

Look at Tumblr, Twitter/X, and/or Reddit activlty after new canon infusions - same as AO3, but on a platform where people are posting shorter content and there's more of a discussion. (This data would be harder to collect, though.)

I'd love to also hear other ideas. I think I'm going to need some volunteers to help gather data if I do any of the above, though... Readers, if you'd be interested in helping to gather data for an hour or more to help investigate this question, please reply/DM and let me know! And/or join the new fandom-data-projects community.

Also if any readers know of anyone else who has looked into this/similar questions, I'd love to hear about it!

#fandom lifespan #call for volunteers #I'll also post more details later #but it would involve doing AO3 searches or other searches and copying numbers into a spreadsheet #questions for the tumblmind #asks #toasty replies #fandom stats #toastystats #50

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homestuckreplay · 1 year ago

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Do you remember when tumblr was overrun by kids in grey body paint and horns speculating over how their story would end, when browser extensions would ping almost every day alerting people to a webcomic update, when the anticipation of the next plot twist had people inventing chaotic AUs and sometimes other, completely fake webcomics?

Do you want to do it again?

On April 13, 2024, I will turn on New Reader Mode in the Unofficial Homestuck Collection, and I will not turn it off again until April 13, 2031. Every day, I will post to this blog which pages were originally posted on the corresponding day 15 years ago, and read those associated pages - and if anyone else wants to experience or re-experience Homestuck in real time, I invite you to read along.

A few months back I had the idea of 'what if Dracula Daily but for Homestuck' and I considered how to make Homestuck work in email format - I think it's possible, but would be a lot of work and still wouldn't be as good a reading experience as the Unofficial Collection. So I modified the idea and just made a big spreadsheet of which dates every Homestuck page was posted on, and I'll be scheduling the page ranges to post day by day for myself and anyone else to follow along with in the app.

I came to Homestuck towards the end of its original run, so I've never had to wait for updates on the main comic - which I've heard is a very different reading experience to getting a few pages a day and having to endure long pauses in the last few thousand pages. I can't turn back time and start reading in 2009, so this is the next best way to get the real time reading experience. I am really interested to see if this will change my opinion on any aspects of the comic, as I like a lot of the things I know other fans hate, and I am extremely committed to seeing this through, even when it means not looking at some incredible moments for many years.

Will this be a good way to experience Homestuck? Will anyone else think this is a cool idea? I have no fucking clue, but ai'm excited to see how it works out. If other people are interested, I have other ideas including a Discord server in the style of r/stuck10yearsbehind, otherwise, I'll brave the solo journey.

Happy Cascade Day, Homestucks grab your strife specibi, go forth and be cringe 😎

#homestuck #homestuck replay #413 #1025 #cascade #chrono

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otdiaftg · 7 months ago

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WHAT'S NEXT:

The out pouring of love for this blog has swept me off my feet. I knew the logic behind the follower count, but this weekend proved to me without a shadow of a doubt just how much this fandom cherishes these characters and this story.

I am overwhelmed with adoration towards every. single. one. of you.

I took the weekend to finally recoup after the whirlwind of this past year but wanted to take a moment now to answer some of the questions I've seen pop up and to inform you all of what my plans are for what's next.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

WILL YOU CONTINUE THE ACCOUNT THIS YEAR?

This took me a long time to ponder and I wanted to make sure I was in the correct headspace to answer it. Short answer: No.

Long answer: All For The Game is near and dear to my heart. And the reason I began this account was because the dates for 2023 matched that of the dates they were meant to be in 2006. To continue it in the year 2024 would mean the dates would be completely wrong and a lot more logistics would have to occur beforehand.

But also-- I'm not the best when it comes to technology, especially when it comes to BOTS so every post that was published was typed out, formatted and scheduled by hand by me. I did not have help. I did not have proofreaders, or editors, or managers. I contacted all the artists myself, sorted through every single page of the artists to find matches to the story, read and re-read the books for exact or guesstimation of dates/times, and made a hell of a lot of typos on the way through all that.

There was probably an easier way that I could have done all this. But I didn't/don't know it. So that all boils down to: It’s a long and tiring process.

Don't get me wrong, it was worth all the hours. And all the sleepless nights I had getting everything done and out. I already thanked my support network, but without my wife and my best friend being there to make me another cup of coffee, walk our dog, do the chores and generally make sure I didn't crumble from the pressure -- none of this would have happened.

So, putting myself through that again, after everything that has happened this year alone-- felt like it would cheapen the experience I had when the dates won't even match.

That being said.... 2034 isn't that far away. >__>

WILL YOU BE DOING AN OTDITSC?

Short answer: No.... sorry.

Long answer: As stated, it is VERY hard to organize what and how I did. HOURS spent researching, organizing, scheduling, etc. Time spent away from my family and other hobbies. NOT time I regret (need to keep prefacing that) but time I want back now. At least for a little bit.

It also doesn't sit right for me to start an OTDITSC when I know some people are still waiting for their copies. There are so many of us out here (as I've come to find out) and I don't want to exclude people's enjoyment and connection that this account gives. I also feel like the more posts about TSC out there, the harder it is for those who are (lets say) waiting for the physical copies to block/mute spoilers. We can say a tag is enough, but this is the internet. And that's not always true.

And lastly, personally, TSC is still SO VERY NEW. It's not even complete yet and we don't 100% know when the next one will be published. I don't want to start something, get to the end of the timeline, and than have a huge gap between posts that will potentially be moments in the second book. It doesn't feel fair to their story, to myself, or to the followers of this account to have incorrect information for something I love so dearly. If I'm doing it. I want to do it right.

SO, WHAT'S NEXT?

Well. A lot. For me personally, as well as this account. I don't want to leave everyone in such a finite way. I love this fandom. I love its art and writings and the abundance of talent and joy that it exudes.

So first, for myself, as well as those artists who agreed to help with this account, I want to post, for the next 40 days Artist Highlights (that means this account will still be active until Friday, June 7th).

Every day, I will post about an Artist and the work that I wanted to post but couldn't fit in. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, these artists are the reason this account thrives. Art, in a multitude of forms, speaks in a way words can not. And these artists prove that.

I'm excited to show them off for a couple more weeks at least. They are all wonderful people.

AND, FINALLY:

To also tie us over, I am opening both my personal account as well as this account to questions.

Questions regarding the process, the story, the best movie out in theaters, whatever. I will be answering your questions (as fast as I can) until that last Artists Highlight day (Friday, June 7th). After this day, I will leave the questions answered up for a week, and then remove/delete them from this account. I want to make this more of an archive of sorts and will be updating the Timeline Page as this progresses as well, so you can move freely within the timeline.

Keep in mind that I am only one person, have a family and a full-time job-- so answers may be sporadic, but I will answer them.

This has truly been such a pleasure. And whether I get questions or not, I see you and I appreciate you. I hope your life is filled with everything you ever want, everything you need, and that you never let it go.

🦊 🧡- Kelysium

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #tkm #the kings men #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #palmetto state university #psu foxes #andreil #on this day in aftg #otdiaftg #palmetto state foxes #otdi all for the game #nora sakavic #the foxes #on this day in all for the game

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leidensygdom · 7 months ago

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Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

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