#Divorce Plan

[akanemnon]

Not only are you gonna fight a bunch of flowers, Susie. You're gonna fight a wedding bouquet!

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[linddzz]

no!! I'm not done talking about Viktor flipping the fuck out because Jayce denied that they were partners!! Bc I have been. losing. my mind. everyone is talking about how horny that fight was and oohhh the fingers almost in the mouth oohh the leg wrap oohhh Viktor so sensual smiling softly in the astral plane and then pouting all gay oohhh the pin to the table and choking

and it's CORRECT ok that is CORRECT and EXCELLENT content! I am not here to deny how wild and sensuously horny Viktor got even when he was an astral projection inside a literally sexless drone ok that is some exCELLENT food BUT.

you know what I haven't seen anyone on my dash talking about that I keep losing my mind over???? At first, Viktor's touch to Jayce's head is a gentle - pointedly gentle considering the speed he's moving with - brush that slows down to clearly tease at making the connection. It's teasing it's playful it's downright flirtatious.

But he pulls away and goes for the chest and chin grab. He wants Jayce to say yes to him. He wants to cradle Jayce willingly against his chest and have their idk grand romantic moments of being partners again and becoming truly melded bc he's a fucked up little guy who has had his fucked-up-guyness amplified by a hexcore

But Jayce doesn't give him his Yes. And there's a lot of very fast movement in 2 seconds where Jayce throws him off, then Viktor flings himself onto Jayce's back again in a high speed surge that's inelegant and rushed almost frantic.

And you can tell that he grabs at Jayce's head but I NEED....LISTEN IM LOSING MY MIND OKAY?? I don't care if it's obvious!! Everyone has slowed down and stopped that leg wrap and the wrist pin and I need you all to LOOK at the intimacy of this hold as he tries to force Jayce to see what he sees!! He's almost nuzzling into him while refusing to accept that Jayce isn't his partner in this.

VIKTOR!!! NO!!!! VIKTOR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ACTUALLY

[sototallynormaliswear]

Stiles: When me and Derek get a divorce, it WILL be in an IKEA. that place is built for divorces

Isaac: are. are you two married??

Stiles, hasn't even kissed him yet: ...no?

Derek: I don't see how that's relevant

[xxplastic-cubexx]

They got divorced again

[doctorsiren]

Also I must know, is Fiddleford in the Monster Hunter Pines AU at all? I ask because I love him. He seems like the kinda guy who would have loved to stay in the lab and make cool adventure gadgets. That man was destined to be The Guy In The Chair.

I am obsessed with the idea of the Stan Twins and Fiddleford being a weird little trio it delights me.

Okay okay okay okay so my main issue with having Fiddleford there is the whole Emma May situation. We all know how highly Stanley thinks of family, and I don’t think he’d be too keen on this science guy abandoning his wife to help them out, so he makes Stanford make Fiddleford make Emma May come along and she actually turns out to have skill in hunting and such, so she gets to join the twins and gets to use the crossbow :)

This is also because the original concept for this AU was made on the idea that Stanford and Stanley make up much sooner (because them fighting makes me sad ☹️☹️☹️) and I don’t like the idea of Fiddleford still abandoning his wife (and in canon, his son, who doesn’t exist in this AU because uhh its earlier in the timeline) and I thought she deserved to come along 😁

Stanford and Emma May bond over Fiddleford, Stanley and Emma May bond over being good with weapons and not getting what their respective nerds are saying, and Fiddleford and Stanley can bond over Stanford I suppose HAHA

[melonsharks]

i went. insane. LOOK. i know a lot of people realllyyyy wanted crowley to be the wedding dress designer LOOK I KNOW AND ITS OK u can make ur own au i promise but in MY WORLD. you need to understand me.

crowley owning a vineyard is personal to me. he is THE snake in the garden of eden, tempting is his JOB ok. he makes wines aziraphale indulges in, aziraphale designs dresses with crowley in mind. do you hear me. are you listening to me. i have everything from the second they meet mapped out OK i know what im talking about. listen to my delusions, boy.

[commonmexicanname]

But you don't have to! That's the point. Surely the great thing about being a demon is you can do whatever you want.

Mm, you sound jealous, angel.

Certainly not.

[wishchip106]

if we (unfortunately) take off our “cherik is canon” glasses i would still see this scene in a romantic lighting

the low lighting from the fire, a game of chess, drinks and talking 👀

the lack of music makes this feel a lot more tense then it should “technically” be…

wdym they’re supposed to be “just friends” 🤨 “as close as brothers” MY ASS COME ON…

if they weren’t having a disagreement who knows what would’ve stopped one of them from leaping across the table

actually idk why even the disagreement was stopping them… freaks get off on arguing fr…

[melbatron5000]

It's a 2-man Con

Listen, I think I know a thing.

When Aziraphale comes back from talking to the Metatron and is telling Crowley about being an angel, we've all heard the theory that he's speaking code, trying to ask for help. The more I look at that scene, the more that theory tracks.

Maybe less well-known is the theory that Crowley didn't miss a damn thing, he's answering in his own code. And again, the more I look at that scene, the more this also tracks.

(When my husband, annoyingly observant beloved partner that he is, saw the second season for the first time, he said, "That whole thing was a show for the Metatron. They have a plan. Crowley slipped something to Aziraphale when he kissed him." And I said, "Nah." But now I think he's right, and damn if he isn't smug.)

I'm gonna try to break down what I think they're saying here, because it takes just a hot minute to piece it together. I've been thinking this over for a couple of months now. I think I have most of it. I just don't know when Crowley puts whatever he's handing to Aziraphale in his own mouth. I need more eagle-y eyes, it seems.

First, Aziraphale comes back from his talk. He's pensive as he crosses the road, and anxious when he starts talking, and mouths "I need help!" as he's talking. He's acting like he does when he lies to the other angels, and once it's seen "I need help!" is pretty clear.

He does the whole thing about telling Crowley he could appoint him as an angel, like old times, but even nicer. It's all very uptight and not positive at all. My interpretation? "The Metatron is here, I think he knows we're up to something, we have to go to Heaven right now and put things right before he really does something awful to one or both of us. The time to spring the plan is NOW."

Crowley stares at him. At first it seems like he's staring in disbelief, but if you really look at his face, he's listening, hard, and interpreting as fast as he can:

He asks Aziraphale if he told the Metatron where he could stick it, then. My interpretation? "The plan has changed. I can't go with you to Heaven. You'll have to go alone."

Then Crowley starts his confession -- "We've spent our existence pretending we aren't."

Aziraphale looks at him -- not with shock, or surprise, or love, or hope, but with a "Why are you doing this now?" face. Not "Why did you wait til now to tell me, you love me, oh, I love you too!" But "Why are you telling me SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW while our ENEMY IS LISTENING??" :

He's confused, but also listening and interpreting. What I'm hearing/seeing: I don't think this is a love confession from our demon. I think they are both well aware they love one another. They can't say it in so many words, and it's a secret from Heaven and Hell, but it's not a secret between them. I'm hearing Crowley set the scene. "The Metatron either wants us together in Heaven under control, or separated. I have things I have to do here or the plan won't work, so we'll have to separate. We need to make it look good. I do love you."

I don't think Aziraphale likes this change of plan. And Crowley can't detail why the plan has changed, not with the Metatron listening. So Aziraphale insists, come with me. The plan we had will work. Do it my way. Crowley says, "You can't leave this book shop." It's easy to interpret that as "You can't leave me," but I don't think it's that. He's saying something about the book shop being safe, or even that he can't leave without whatever they've hidden in the book shop. (I THINK THEY HID SOMETHING IN THE BOOK SHOP!) Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever." I hear him saying the book shop is no longer safe, and they have to move/take whatever they've hidden and they can't speak freely there anymore.

Crowley replies, "No I suppose it doesn't. Good luck." He's gotten that much, but he is still set on his "We need to fake a break up because I can't go with you."

Aziraphale still doesn't like that. "Come back! I need you!" He's scared. Whatever he has to do in Heaven is big, and scary, and he needs and wants Crowley with him. He does not want to go into the mouth of danger alone.

This is when we get, "No nightingales." What I'm hearing? ESPECIALLY since if you listen, you can hear a LARK sing as Crowley goes out the door? It's the line from Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare, whose plays they both enjoy, though Crowley prefers the funny ones. "It's too late, that's a lark singing the dawn, not a nightingale singing to the night, we have to part. Our happy ending isn't yet."

Then the kiss. I do not believe this is their first kiss. I don't believe they've allowed themselves many, maybe not even more than one, but I do think they've kissed before. I'm not sure when, but I suspect 1941. (Season 3, come ON!!)

And when they part, Aziraphale stops himself from saying "I love you," and instead says, "I forgive you." I'm hearing so many things in that "I forgive you." I forgive you for leaving me on my own, I forgive you for hurting my feelings like this, I forgive you for changing the plan without telling me, I forgive you because you are forgivable whatever anyone else says, I forgive you because that's what I said when we split up at the bandstand and everything was okay in the end and I hope hope hope that everything will be okay in the end this time too.

Crowley says, "Don't bother." I'm hearing, "yeah, I hope it's all okay, too. Wish me fuckin luck. My part will be hard, too."

And as Crowley leaves, Aziraphale mouths, "No." And we hear a lark sing. A lark, singing to the dawn, and so fair Romeo must away.

Just because the break up is a ruse, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and isn't hard. It has to look real, and so it's going to feel real, too. Ouch. :'(

And then Aziraphale touches his lips. Not once, but twice. My bad, he only touches his lips once. The first long second is pure emotion. "Why now, I hate this, I want that so badly and I can't have it."

After that, though --

After he pulls himself together a bit, he has a bulge in his cheek. He shifts his jaw to move whatever he has in his mouth to his lips, and then his first two fingers go stiff for a moment as he palms something right before he takes his hand away.

And then, this.

Edit to add: someone on Facebook asked me why a kiss to pass whatever Crowley gave to Aziraphale, why not palm it or drop it in his pocket?

My answers: 1. The kiss is a message. "We're still good, I still love you, I still want this." 2. The item is too important to be dropped in a pocket and hopefully found later. 3. The Metatron is paying WAY too close attention, and will definitely see them touch hands. Seeing a kiss and the angel rejecting the demon, though? Well, the demon forced that kiss on him, the angel didn't want it. Clearly the demon thinks this relationship is different than it is. It's a bigger gesture that sells the ruse. 4. Houdini's wife used to pass him the keys to his cuffs with a kiss before the show. This is a message that magic-loving Aziraphale WILL understand: here are the keys to your cuffs, sneaked to you by your beloved in plain sight.

That's it. That's what I got so far. I still have questions.

What did Crowley pass to Aziraphale? What's the plan? Why did it change? What does Crowley need to do that he can't go to Heaven again?

[superbat-lmao]

Jason and Roy get married in all 50 states.

It takes them about 15 years, what with all the marriage and divorce paperwork that has to be filed, but they do it.

The first few marriages and divorces are a Vegas wedding, a New Jersey divorce, and Californian wedding, a Californian divorce, and a New Jersey wedding. Everything after that has been an ongoing bit the two of them can’t stop doing, much to the consternation of their families.

Bruce and Oliver always seem to be discussing upcoming wedding details and if any of the JL ask it’s always the same kids.

JL Member: I thought they were already married?

Other JL Member: I thought they were already divorced??

[waaanderingluna]

🥀 𝕯𝖎𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖈𝖊 𝕻𝖗𝖔𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖆𝖑

.

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《𝚆𝙴𝙱𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻》

[sherokutakari]

Hot take but I don't want AziCrow to have been "made" for each other. I want them to choose each other. Over and over again. Before The Beginning, Eden, The Arrangement, Armageddidn't, and on and on. I want them to never stop choosing each other but I want it to be a choice.

[mamawasatesttube]

peak timsteph to me is like, some situation where they are in the heights of their divorce era, but something happens that gets steph real rattled, and tim doesn't want to comfort her himself but he doesn't want her to be completely alone with it either. so she hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a plate full of steaming hot mashed potatoes. he's nowhere to be found but she knows no one else would've known what her number one comfort food is. the presence of the potatoes means something. so does his absence. who else knows her like he does? it haunts her every time she sees the scars on the nape of his neck. (not that she sees those often. there's a reason he keeps the cowl up and his hair long, these days.)

[marnertoads]

playing football with him, all the don't blink episodes, pranking him anytime he wants to use his shoes, the hours of cycling that his team has to do now because carlos is obsessed with it... yeah they love him

[luckyjorabbit]

running away again

[actual-changeling]

i crave the emotional catharsis that would come with crowley taking care of his plans, in so much pain but swallowing it down and pretending it's not real, finally having the mental breakdown he deserves.

he's taking care of his plants, a detached look on his face, misting them and making sure they're all healthy and have enough space to grow. after he returned, he stopped talking to them for the most part. they welcomed him back, they had missed him—shax is not the nicest or most interesting company to keep—and now they're worried.

crowley sleeps, paces, mists his plants, gets drunk, and sleeps some more. everything to stop feeling. until he sees a leaf spot on one of them. a tiny imperfection, barely worth a shout, and yet.

a tremor works it way through him, his knees always giving out, and he presses one palm against the wall to keep himself upright. wave after wave of shame, bright and stabbing in the middle of his chest, reminds him why he left.

not good enough.

crowley had tried, someone knows he tried. it's hard to regain a soul, harder yet to shape it into something worth loving, someone worth living for, but he had tried.

his fingers curl around the pot and before he can stop himself he flings it across the room, listening to it shatter. can't even do that right, can he? can't raise fucking plans, can't keep his STUPID mouth shut, can't make him stay because who would want to be stuck with him forever? no one, that's who, and after six thousand years, aziraphale had seemingly reached his blessed limit and taken the first chance to leave.

another plant follows with a scream, dirt and broken stems covering the floor and staining the walls, and then another and another and another until he can fall to his knees amidst the ruins of his life.

clay shards are cutting his palms open as he doubles over, sobs wrecking through him like thunder, and his tears carve clean paths down his dirty hands.

"i tried," he whispers, voice hoarse from yelling, "i'm sorry, i tried."

crowley's wings unfurl with an almost silent gust of air, blacking out the sunlight streaming in. he drags himself to the nearest corner before wrapping his arms and wings around himself, and curling up as tightly as possible.

"i tried," he keeps breathing into feathers and fabric, "i tried, i tried, i tried."

over and over until his voice fails him and then some more. it is almost a lullaby, the words taking whatever is left of his heart and gently rocking it back and forth. crowley falls asleep like that, exhausted and broken and lonely. just as sleep pulls him under, he stops his repetition, his mouth shaping phrase after phrase.

for the very first time since his fall, crowley closes his eyes and prays.