#Divine Soverignty

[ultrachoppedpenguinbouquet]

Ezekiel

[the-drokainian]

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Sunday Morning Sermon, May 5, 2024

Luke 2:1-7: "God in the Manger"

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IntroductionChristmas in May?The birth of Jesus is as central to the Christian faith as his death and resurrection. The truth of the virgin-birth of Christ is in the historic Christian creeds and is a non-negotiable of the Gospel.- All that the prophets foretold- All that the people anticipated- Is here in this storyThis was no ordinary baby in the manger.This was God in the manger.

‭Luke 2:1-7 ESV��

[1] In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. [2] This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. [3] And all went to be registered, each to his own town. [4] And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, [5] to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. [6] And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. [7] And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

A Divine SetupNothing "just happens" in this divine drama.- Humans act.- They act freely.- But God is sovereign over all.Everything happens according to God's absolute will and plan.

‭Luke 2:1-2 ESV‬

[1] In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. [2] This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria.

Image

Gaius Octavius (Caesar Augustus) reigned 27 BC - AD 14

There is some debate about who Quirinius was, when he reigned, and what census Luke is referring to.- Luke had no reason to fabricate.- Luke had everything to lose.Primary point: This is all rooted in history.- Real people- Real places- Real eventsAnd it demonstrates the absolute soverignty of God, even over the course of history, kings, and kingdoms.What was really happening in Bethlehem?

‭Luke 2:3-4 ESV‬

[3] And all went to be registered, each to his own town. [4] And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David,

‭1 Samuel 16:4 ESV‬

[4] Samuel did what the Lord commanded and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling and said, “Do you come peaceably?”

‭2 Samuel 7:12-13 ESV‬

[12] When your days are fulfilled and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. [13] He shall build a house for my name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.

‭Micah 5:2 ESV‬

[2] But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days.

This is no accident.- Puppets in God's hands- Unfolding according to his plan- All things according to his will

‭Psalm 115:3 ESV‬

[3] Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.

From the "big" stuff to the "small" stuff, nothing is outside of God's sovereign command and control!Every step is a "divine setup."- These events- Your lifeThe question isn't: Is God sovereign?.The question is: What is your relationship to his sovereign will?

A Wild BirthThey arrive in Bethlehem just in time.

‭Luke 2:5-7 ESV‬

[5] to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. [6] And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. [7] And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

This is no "silent night."- The busyness of the census- There is no place to stay.- They wind up near a manger."Wild"- Uncultivated and inhospitable- No room anywhere- Animals eat here.- This isn't how kings are born!But where else would the "man of sorrows" come?He comes to the rough, inhospitable, "wild," overlooked, dirty places because he comes to die.

A Glorious InvitationBut this isn't the whole story.While mortals sleep,The angels keep,Their watch of wondering love.Heaven is watching as this orchestrated plan unfolds in time and space. So that what appears to be so "wild" and audacious to us is a story penned by God himself, being told exactly as he planned.

"Bethlehem"- "House of bread"Manger- A feeding trough for sheep, oxen, and livestockGod places his Son here.- This is an invitation.- An invitation to you!Are you hungry?

‭John 6:32-35 ESV‬

[32] Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. [33] For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” [34] They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” [35] Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.

Are you burdened by your sin?

‭John 1:29 ESV‬

[29] The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!

Here is God: God in the manger.

‭Genesis 28:16 ESV‬

[16] Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.”

God comes, "wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."And his invitation to you is: "Come!"- Come to the manger.- Eat and be satisfied.- Here is God himself!

[ramrodd]

Civil War Confederate President Wasn’t Tried, Why It Matters In Trump Ca...

COMMENTARY:

The basis of the US Constitution is the syndication of the several states iby the Declaration of Independence, ratified at Yorktown, forged by fire and quenched by the blood of Patriots who were enlisted in a well-regulated militia. This syndication is a pretty much off-the-shelf unlimited liability underwriting that is eternal. It's unbreakable. The Hudson Bay Company is an identical syndication,

The Declaration of Independence is a blood covenant, right out of Genesis 15. It is unbreakable. It is not a divine document, but bi-lateral. An agreement between human persons to living , breathing social contract.

The essential fallacy of the libertarian logic of the Confederacy is that it may be legal to build a castle in the sky, but it would require the repeal of the law of gravity to do so.

The mission of the Federalist Society is to ensure that this legal argument would always win in any court, anywhere int America,  It's like the Heller decision, Scalia did for the US  Constitution what Thomas Jefferson was doing to Sally Hemings That's an example of Fresh Water economics.

Salt Water economics is based on Valley Forge.

Jefferson Davis was arguing a finite game was infinite. It's the basis of Supply Side seconomics It's what the economics of shite supremacy is all about: repeal the law of gravity where useful.

That's everything covered by the January 6 agenda and the Total Depravity Gospel of the Pro Life Evangelical chaplains subverting the loyalties of serving soldiers.

Jefferson Davis's States Rights theory of property, labor and the means of roduction are founded squarely on the willingness to suspend disbelief in the contingent repeal of the law of gravity.

On a related issue, Ukraine needs to settle for a victory in the defense of their soverignty and the need to let the United Nations enforce a cease fire and  begin to sort things out with NATO. As that is being accomplished, America can begin to shift from funding battle and begin funding Marshall Plan reparations. NATO can work out with Russia how to flow reparations into the region This is right out of the Dayton Accords hand book for actual beginning of the Peace Dividend GHW Bush promised and Clinton delivered.

There are 13 stripes on Old Glory. The White Streps are  graphic  and abstract representations of the essence of the the Declaration of Independence: the Ideals: Life, Liberty, Fraternity, Equality, Equity and the Pursuit of Happines. Basically, the Democratic Socialism of the shower scene in Starship Troopers. The White Strepes. That's what I am saluting before "Play Ball" at Nationals Park.

The Red stripes represent the blood spilled by the serving Patriots who gave their oath to defend and protect, This is a  graphic presentation of the moral content of the Ideals of the Republic, the white Stripes, being covered by the blood of the red stripes in a blatantly bibilcal symbol of a blood oath.. The Southern slave owners were totally committed to that proposition of breaking that blood oath of the social contract right out of Burke in order to keep their slaves.

Before the Federalist Society, a writ such as that which cold prevail before the Supreme Court would have never gotten past appeals. This is how Trickle Down economics continues to work out in Jackson, Mississippi or Montgomery, Alabama.

It's that simple.

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Reflections

Many people are aware that government corruption has happened in the past and continues to happen, but refuse to accept that the CDC et al has been and continues to part of that corruption. To accept that reality would shake their foundation, their sense of safety in the world.

Most people these days have more trust in a corrupt government to protect them than they do in their own bodies, in the inherent intelligence of their bodies. People in our society are indoctrinated from childhood to not trust our own bodies to keep us well and safe, to look outside ourselves for safety. Corporate interests benefit from this conditioning.

Most people are willing to trade their body sovereignty, their innate freedom, for an illusion of safety. When all the while the real safety is inside them, by divine creation or millions of years of evolution. They don’t just trade their own body sovereignty, they forsake everyone’s. And many of them belittle, even bully, anyone who refuses to make that trade, anyone who dares to step outside the house of cards and says, “No. I’m not buying what you’re selling with fear and coercion.”

I’ve witnessed the truth, and I’m not afraid to tell it despite being called every variation of “a fucking piece of shit.” I’ve witnessed the gaslighting, the cognitive dissonance. I’ve met the injured. I’ve heard their stories. In those stories is where it happens, the shift in awareness. That’s where truth can’t be denied or debated.

I used to wish I could go back to the me I was before this knowing, the me who waved an American flag and advocated for freedom, the me who walked into that Capitol 4 years ago armed with respect, data, and the constitution, thinking maybe that would be enough. But there is no going back, no blue pill, no distraction or addiction powerful enough to drop the veil back over my eyes.

I was very angry for a long time, but much of that anger has dissipated. I don’t judge people for slamming doors when confronted with truths that shake the foundation of their existence. I don’t judge people for closing their eyes to possibilities that would make them want to gouge out their eyes not to see. I’ve known the feeling. And by divine grace I know I can survive with my eyes open.

[definedbywhatilove]

seven months

hey taylor! this is a little story of my journey since the last time that i let you in to my inner world... its been seven months...(feels like 20 lifetimes of growth) and two months since I moved to California and one week since I left my grandest, most divine partner in L.A to continue my journey of self discovery, self awareness, self love, and self soverignty... and i wanted to mention something important to you -- a sign, an invisable string if you will. since i was a kid, your music always followed me and described my life experiences. as i began a deep journey of self understanding, i went away from the reality that i knew (much alike your time to yourself, away from the media) last oct/november. and i let myself fall deeply, and madly in love. you know the love i'm talking about. the red love. the deeply open and vulnerable heart love, despite all past burns to the heart. the one you write poetry and songs about. i know you feel deeply self worth inside. i know that you relyed on guys to help fill that void. same as me. same as so many beautiful woman out there. giving our hearts away.. loving so damn red. but loving so: fearlessly. bravely. courageously. vulnerably. openly. you can't regret a thing, can you? and the months piled up. nine months december 27 he came to Christmass dinner ten months january 27 this is... love eleven months febuary 27 this is home 1 year march 27 this is the 1 three days after, my life came crashing down. i wake up to coughing. masks. fear. my house turned into a graveyard a grounds of fear, pain, suffering sickness. not me. her. my dads partner. someone who i thought, in my own ego, i despised. in that moment, i knew i loved. two hours. it was less than two hours that i packed two suitcases, and a heavy backpack full of everything that mattered to me. i had practised this before. countless nights isoltated in my room, pretending to pack to run away. really considering running away. but never running. it was a blur. i don't remember much. a message to stay, but the knowingness that it was my time to leave. one last goodbye. no hug. a promise. with my father. knowing he would get sick. knowing that my father, my Rock, my stable Father could very evidently get sick and die. was this a goodbye forever? i didn't know but i left. i had to leave. by some greater plan from God, or whoever is orchestrating this magical universe, my partner moved to my city by chance through the winter and I went to him. i moved in; my heart afraid of moving in with somebody that i love because love had only ever hurt me. i moved in with my partner and allowed my dad the space to go through his own conscious awakening. thirteen months WILL HE DIE? i prayed everyday. i surrendered. i released the outcome. i surrendered to my partner and the relationship and accepted a deeper love than i have ever experienced during this time. i started my business. really, started my business. i started it in december but I didn't really know if I would ever get to see my dad again. through the fall and winter he provided for me whilst i recovered from being sick [reoccuring during fall/winter, peak in sept. same thing i felt during my journey in 2018]. how will i live as an adult on my own? provide for myself? what if he dies? i make my first 2k month. i surrender to love. i meet nature. fourteen months i called him for the first time. my dad. it was so painful to hear him speak. he was still sick. i began to slowly give grounded, healing advice. affirmations. colors. introduced the law of attraction. helping him know that his physical body was sick because his mind was sick of negativity. i move into my first apartment with my partner. its beautiful. he pays the rent. i get the entire room, he takes the living room. i was provided for. i continued my business. i held strong visions of travelling with my partner before the lease was up in august. it was my lifelong dream. i prayed for my dad and his partner. sitting in nights of fear and pain. letting go. trusting. rebuilding. health. NATURE. LOVE. date nights. park visits. lake visits. fifteen i saw my dad and his partner! in person! june 6, the first time since march 30. i went with my partner. i was nervous. i also get to see my cat ~~ who has always had siezures, that got even worse when they were sick... who i also had to let go of, not knowing if would survive.. but did! i gave him healing crystals. healing tips. love. hope. he opened. my dad whos heart was closed cracked open. i had never seen this mans heart open since i was a little child before my mom broke his heart. he left his job, you know. when i was a kid i was neglected for that job. one that i had to go to school too many times when i didn't feel because of. one that kept him gone late nights once a week. one that drained him. but the job that supported me physically and financially through my entire life. the job that helped give me a good life ~ his time and energy he gave into this job to provide for his daughter. he realized what it was doing to him. he realized, taylor. he realized. he got a new job. two hours away, a small county on the lake. a chance to start over. leave the karmic city he lived in. he also began to feel his emotions from what happened with the trauma of my mother. this was a miracle. a miracle. a miracle. and so, he would move away... starting his new job during the sixteenth month of this journey, july 13 i know at this point i will be travelling soon and leaving anyways, but could not leave my dad... and so the universe had him leave to set me free. i spent the rest of the month knowing he would move away, and likely i would too. but where? i saw him many times. gave him reiki too. we all went to the cottage together, him, his partner, me, and mine. summer solstice. peace. love. sixteen months i released all of my limitations. i chose love, abundance, freedom, health, bliss. i released my dad, my cat, my childhood home... [never grow up describes this situation]... a 21st birthday, really, a goodbye to my family... i booked a plane ticket. a month and a week to California. knowing, that it would be longer than that one month and a week. myself and my partner. one carry on and personal item. my self soverignty. my dreams. my abundance [first five figure month!!!] i left taylor. i left behind the city i always lived in to follow my dreams and passion. i'm living in my dream location. mountains. forests. lakes. a sacred site in Nor Cal. a childhood dream, if you will. a new life begins the night before i leave i see that you had an album out. folklore. i didn't know, because i had been going through so much stuff within my life that anything that happened online was not present in my life. i listened to caridgan for a few seconds. didn't feel right. i let you go...[knowing, like always, your music will come to me at the exact right time] i got on the plane. three layovers. an overnight train. i begin my new life on the mountain. begin again. seventeen months i am not the same. i have grown. i have healed. my time in the mountain has been the most groundbreaking, expansive, philisophical, healing time of my entire life. feeling like one month was twenty lifetimes of healing and growth. healing all of my childhood wounds, fears, pains. being of service in my business, providing healing for over 55 people. but... it was here where it started to break apart. that one last thing. i let go of the home. the cat. the family. the stuff. there was 1 more thing to let go of... eighteen months kyle, was his name you know. and of course, when we are hurt we go into the victim mindset right away. it is instinct. predetor and prey. it is conditioned into us. this time, after completing a cycle of 3 relationships of emotional manipulation, disrespect, not being loved the way i loved... i took full ownership for it. for manipulating MYSELF. for disrespecting MYSELF. for not loving MYSELF the way I love another. thats when the relationship healing and karma happens. when you take complete ownership for your own mistreatment knowing that this person was simply a mirror of the own hate, anger, and fear you have about yourself. it happened on september 2nd, under the full moon. it started, anyways. i was called to l.a out of Nor Cal. With him. and we Went. This is where the fun part starts, the intention behind this entire story but we're only getting to it right now because of course, I am a writer. The main message has to be supported by a story, right? on september 6th, we had a midnight train. i wanted to listen to music to help me release leaving the city i was living in in Nor Cal, cuz I had grown fairly attached to it. cardigan came into my life. [which i realize as i am writing this and listening to it, the version i have always listened to is the cabin one,... which I am just seeing you realeased on my birthday!!!! july 30th. how interesting] it fell into place this night. and i was meant to hear it now; your music has always been like a spirit guide to me. always a message when i need it. we had a midnight train. my partner got a nosebleed on the way...[stepping on the last train, marked me like a blood stain...] i knew in my heart we would be breaking up... the day before the flight to l.a, the day before the fires, i knew we would be breaking up in l.a. the night that invisable strings was introduced into my life, via my dear soul friend Emma. i knew that this song spoke of my memories and experiences with l.a. l.a was always a place for me to find self empowerment, bravery, and self worth. being the place that i endured my first break up in, l.a taught me self love. i knew that an invisable string was bringing me back to l.a, and really... back to [myself]. despite knowing what was to happen, i held myself through the flight to l.a. it's not like we officially broke up that day, but i knew going on this flight that since i was facing my biggest fears in real life that i would be about to experience my fear of being alone. i flew the day that san fransisco was orange. tiny little 13 row plane. deep fear of planes. in a moment of deep intuition and love, i opened my heart to hold space for the people on the plane that were also terrified of the fires and landing somewhere that was orange. holding people, holding space, through what could be seen on an Earthly scale as a trauma. moving past my own fears and negative thoughts and holding the emotions of love and safety. it was a big moment for me. i listened to invisable strings dyuring the plane ride. and two days later was when my fire happened. september 11 is when we officially broke up.. when i chose to stand up for myself, for my own love + respect, when i knew that i had to leave a toxic and co-dependent relationship... you know, i thought a tsunami was going to happen that day or something and i was going to die. i literally thought this was what was going to happen; but the death that happened was not physical, but the death of a relationship. we were in l.a until the 18th, in the same apartment, trying our best to go through our breakup while living with eachother. still getting groceries together [chasing shadows in the grocery line]... i could barely function. i know you know what co-dependent relationships can get like. beginning to function on your own without the love from them is hell. [cue. this is me trying] having a hard time adjusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! letting go of this love. knowing i need to leave. we were in l.a until the 18th, in the same apartment, trying our best to go through our breakup while living with eachother. still getting groceries together [chasing shadows in the grocery line]... the ocean took me down; pulled my knee out. the day after telling my partner i need to do everything on my own and we be completely separate whilst living in this apartment together for at least a week. knowing we likely would stay till oct.my bodies way of still needing to rely on him. coping mechinisms. breakdowns. [pouring my heart out to a stranger, but i didn't pour the whiskey...] (This lyric. After my first relationship, I turned to alcohol. I got very dependent on this, and this runs in my family. It took me until a significant event at a party in 2017 for me to stop, i know you know what i mean. So it was a big deal for me, despite all temptations, to not turn to alcohol). i knew i had to leave l.a our host was offering us to stay until oct 1. i was 100% sure i was, despite living in the apartment with kyle, through breakup [not your typical i hate u breakup tho, one of deep love and mutual, conscious respect and love for eachother] going to stay. esp with how my body was, and my knee. and... if i went back home to Nor Cal, I knew i'd be going alone. And I knew my partner couldn't financially sustain himself at the time to stay anywhere other than back home. I knew he would have to quarentine for 14 days. I knew that by making this decision I would be completely cut off from him. i went to cancel our flight back to Nor Cal. 34 hours before. i was going to stay and stay in a place with a man who didn't have enough self love and worth yet to be able to love me properly. and then it happened. continue to financially support him. continue to love him uncontiionally. and then... sept 16 11:30pm the last excuse. the last invalidation. the last disrespect. the last act of hatred. the last act of emotional manipulation. the last time the gas light would ever turn on. i do not cancel my flight. i walked away. i chose myself. i messaged everybody that i knew to ask for help and support. i knew that this would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. i had to walk away from whom i know on a soul level to be my husband. i know. i know. i know. i know when we have both healed we will come back together in harmonious union; our relationship was all about growing. but it was time to grow apart, in order to grow back together with a stable individual foundation. the last day was magic. it was a new moon. santa monica beach. sunset. shopping. swimming. we allowed ourself to have a night of love. we knew that this was at the basis of our connection; true, undying, eternal, uncondtional love. we will always love each other in a deeper way than can be described in words. no painting, song, piece of poetry could describe this love. and it was painful. painful to love so deeply and openly and vulnerabily, knowing that come 6am I would be headed to the airport It was the most open and vulnerable I have ever been. Allowing myself to openly love so deeply despite knowing what was to come in just some short hours. I really poured my heart out. I opened up. I was vulnerable. I was my true self. And it was one of the best nights of my life, September 17th in Santa Monica, under the New Moon. we stayed up together all night holding each other. sharing a few last kisses. talking about our favourite memories each month of our relationship [i know they said the end was near...] we didn't sleep all night. the alarm went off, 4:50am. time to go. i packed everything the night before. i tied up my lose ends. we held eachother deeply. the final alarm went off, 5:10am. the pink sunrise in the uber on the way to the airport. the way that he didn't cancel his flight to go through security with me. not getting a coffee to spend every last second with him. and we sat in the airport and cried our hearts out. holding each other. crying. in front of anyone who cared to see. knowing one hour before boarding i had to take myself to the bathroom so that i could cry and prepare myself to fly [note: hopefully the airport worker knew we were gunna be okay] 7:48am, i knew the alarm was going to go off in two minutes. i take my power back and stand up, turning the alarm off. i said i have to go now or I will not get on the flight. i tell him he needs to walk away first. i can't do it. no. i'll feel abandoned. i have to be the one. i hugged him. one time. i said goodbye. i wished him well. i told him i love him. i put my backpack on. i get my stuff together. one last hug... one last kiss... and i pulled away. i walked away from the man that i know one day will be my husband and the father to my children to follow my own path of self discovery and worth and love. of healing. walking up to the airline worker, telling her my partner would not be coming on the flight with me. "okay, Miss, i will remove him from your party and from the flight," i held myself together. i did. the best i could. good thing i didn't sleep because that kept me at least less emotional and breaking down than i thought i would be. "now boarding flight xxxx to Sacramento, boarding rows 10-13..." i got myself on the plane. i couldn't believe i was doing this. how am i doing this? i knew when i sat in my seat and the plan began to prepare for departure, that i was completing a cycle of three. a cycle of relationship karma that began with my first, where we broke up on my birthday, 2016 in l.a... completing a cycle where i base my worth on another person, depend on another person, allow myself to get walked over... it was done. i asked that when i took off into the sky from the plane, the perfect line of the perfect song was playing... when i first had my breakup in l.a 2016, i was at a play to support my friend and actress. in this play, she sang a song called brave. this song, and message, got me through my first breakup. she was my rock and i swear the reason i made it through the night of that. l.a 2018, she wrote brave for a tattoo for me. we stopped talking for a while; i learned to be brave for myself. l.a 2020, the moment the plane takes off of the ground... [wool to BRAVE the seasons...] the moment you sang brave; the plane took off. a rush of feeling so proud for myself. knowing i chose me. knowing i chose a journey of self love. knowing i chose a journey of self worth. knowing i chose a journey of self empowerment. i sit here in my soul sister's apartment whilst she is cross-country, writing this. one week after i got back to Nor Cal. One week since my entire life shifted. And I am in the journey. The journey to self love, confidence, worth, empowerment, etc is not just a destination. There is a journey behind it all. It happens to contain a lot of crying. A lot of feeling. Some music. Friends. Good food. A warm coffee from the local coffee shop. Candles. Insence. Journal(S). Rest. Yoga. Meditation. Qigong. Reiki. Fuzzy socks. Oversized fluffy sweaters. Soft blankets. Stuffed animals. Books. Singing bowls. Love. And so, this is where I am. September 25th, seven months later. Wow. Writing this journey out and putting it on paper really makes me feel some things. It makes me feel fucking empowered. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel brave. It makes me feel fearless. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel authentic. And with all authenticity, I had to be authentic with myself when I began to write this. Your music has been that constant. I have said it before, and I will say it again. Everything has always left my life but your music has always stayed. Your music has always found me in the right time in the right place. It has always supported me. You have always supported me. I was thinking back today, in a state of elevated joy allowing myself to feel happy that I got the opportunity to meet you through my life journey so far. And that... us meeting had to mean something. There is an invisable string there. There has to be a reason that during all of this your music was there for me. There has to be a reason it came to me in the time that it did. There is a reason for everything. So I write this, with a prayer that you will see this, but a surrender to the knowingness that what is meant to happen is going to happen. Also, a surrender to if anybody actually reads this! This is who I am, raw, vulnerable, authentic. I will always speak my truth, share my journey, and love Taylor Swift. Don't we all? Taylor, if you are reading this... from my soul to yours; thank you. thank you. thank you. seriously, for what you give up to be able to spread these messages via your music in such a global way. i completely see and understand what you have given up to do this. i love you. i love you. i love you. thank you for seeing me. thank you for hearing me. thank you for acknowledging me. thank you for validating me. thank you for loving me. see you next update, your friend Sarah.

[13moonswomenstemple]

Sagittarius Full Moon Collective Oracle Card draw - major themes of sovereign leadership, loving support, completing cycles and breaking free of old bonds and beliefs. This full moon brings with it the energy and light codes needed to wrap up all unfinished business as we enter the winter solstice portal next week. This week it is time to look at long standing intentions and relationships (not just to people, but situations too) and do what is necessary to being them to a close. Tuesdays Winter Solstice is a rebirth point so releasing grief, sadness and resistance to change is going to support you through this natural shift towards a renewed freedom, ready for the next chapter of the solar cycle. Change needn’t be massive, just a shift in perspective or belief is enough to create an opportunity for growth and awakening. Queen of Rods + Brothers of the Rose 🌹Lead with divinity. Draw from the stability of the sacred masculine and recognise the support that is available here. Temperance + Whispers of Mother Earth 🌏 You are blessed to have the loving support of your guides in your quest to recognise and release what is ready to come to completion. Look to Mother Earth for creative solutions, support, inspiration and to channel her wisdom. 10 of Blades (Swords) + Codes of the Seeds 🌱 Recognise the resistance to change as a fear of sadness, grief or loss that your psyche is anticipating will come and know that it’s okay to feel loss at the end of a cycle, but to turn your gaze to the future where the seeds of your intentions and desires are waiting to manifest from a place of clarity, after the rebirth. King of Knives (Swords) + The Anointed ⚔️ This prophecy is bookended by the Queen and King. It is a reminder that Soverignty is your birthright. That the path forwards for humanity is with the balanced divine feminine and masculine hand in hand. That the Queen must lead the way now, and invite the King to return. This is a message that answering this call over this winter solstice period empowered leadership (however that looks for you) is available and new essay. Look to your soul gifts for clues for your path into the future for this chapter of humanity. (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce1_nLbPJQ2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[biblicalfaith]

Divine sovereignty and human responsibility

Short and simple. 

The following verse list is not comprehensive, more of an overview of the ideas. 

Divine Sovereignty

 1 Peter 1:2 - according to the foreknowledge of God the Father and set apart by the Spirit for obedience and for sprinkling with the blood of Jesus Christ.

 Ephesians 1:4 - For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with in the Beloved.

 2 Timothy 1:9 - He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.

 Philippians 2:13 - For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out His good purpose.

 Romans 8:29-30 - For those He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, He also glorified.

 Acts 16:14 - A woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who worshiped God, was listening. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was spoken by Paul.

-Lydia became a believer in Christ because the Lord first opened her heart.

 Acts 13:48 - When the Gentiles heard this, they rejoiced and glorified the message of the Lord, and all who had been appointed to eternal life believed.

 Titus 1:1 - Paul, a slave of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to build upthe faith of God’s elect and their knowledge of the truth that leadsto godliness

 John 15:16 - You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give you.

 John 6:44 - No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day.

 John 12:32 - As for Me, if I am lifted up from the earth I will draw all people to Myself.

 2 Thessalonians 2:13 - But we must always thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God has chosen you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and through belief in the truth.

Human Responsibility

 John 3:16 - For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

 2 Peter 3:9 - The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.

 Romans 10:13 – For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

 Revelation 22:17 - Both the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” Anyone who hears should say, “Come!” And the one who is thirsty should come. Whoever desires should take the living water as a gift.

 Acts 3:19-20 - Therefore repent and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped out, that seasons of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,and that He may send Jesus, who has been appointed for you as the Messiah.

 Luke 13:3 -  No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish as well!

 Ezekiel 18:32 - For I take no pleasure in anyone’s death.” This is the declaration of the Lord God. “So repent and live!

 Luke 5:32 - I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

 Acts 17:30 - Therefore, having overlooked the times of ignorance, God now commands all people everywhere to repent

 Romans 10:9-10 - If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. One believes with the heart, resulting in righteousness, and one confesses with the mouth, resulting in salvation.

 Acts 13:46 - Then Paul and Barnabas boldly said: “It was necessary that God’s message be spoken to you first. But since you reject it and consider yourselves unworthy of eternal life, we now turn to the Gentiles!

-This is an example of humans willing rejecting the Gospel. If one has the ability to reject the Gospel it would seem to follow one could also accept the Gospel.

 Revelation 3:19-21 - As many as I love, I rebuke and discipline. So be committed and repent. Listen! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and have dinner with him, and he with Me. The victor: I will give him the right to sit with Me on My throne, just as I also won the victory and sat down with My Father on His throne.

 Philippians 2:12 - So then, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Most Christian would not argue for ignoring passages while highlighting others intentionally but that happens often when looking at this topic. In order to treat the issue as fair as possible both sides, it would seem, must be affirmed if we are to believe the Bible. Our job therefore is to attempt to understand how they can coexist without being contradictory. The Bible does not paint them as contradictory, least of all Paul who puts the ideas close together constantly. This may best be seen in Philippians 2:12-13. I'm not going to go into how these two concepts work together in harmony right now. My purpose for this post is simply to affirm that both exist. 

[ultrachoppedpenguinbouquet]

Why is God referred to as Ancient of Days

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Long dark night of the soul

I’ve experienced and witnessed ongoing abuse which isn’t recognized by society as abuse. Instead of being supported and nurtured through this dark night of my soul, I’ve been vilified/ignored/abused further. My way of life, my understanding of natural systems have been and continue to be vilified. Every time I speak openly with clarity about what I’ve experienced, what I continue to experience, what I KNOW, I’m vilified/ignored/abused further.

I recognize there are millions of people, entire races and religions for example, who have experienced and continue to experience abuse that isn’t recognized by society as abuse. I understand that throughout time children have been punished abusively by their caregivers, and society has supported and encouraged this abuse, these abusers. The nervous systems of the people who make up society are wired with this understanding - step out of the lines defined for you and you deserve to be beaten back into place.

People usually aren’t aware of their wiring. They don’t recognize their words, their actions, their silence as a fist. “You weren’t abused,” they say with no understanding of gaslighting or coercion. “Your way of life makes YOU the abuser, the villain,” or, “This wouldn’t be happening to you if you’d only do what you’re told.”

I can’t substitute what the people in power have determined is *right* for my own understanding of truth. My mind doesn’t work that way. My soul doesn’t work that way. I was not born into this life to be a slave to other people’s motivations. Like all beings, I was born with unique gifts. I’ve spent most of my life trying to minimize my gifts or using them to meet other people’s expectations - all in an effort to fit in, to not be ostracized by the very society that abuses without awareness, without recognition.

I refuse to go through my life pretending this isn’t happening and “looking on the bright side.” What’s the bright side? My white skin that I can hide inside and move about the world without showing myself? My free thinking and my faith that get me vilified/ignored/abused? My ability to understand what’s happening? My divine calling to witness that which I would gouge out my eyes not to see? Grace that hurts and keeps hurting?

What is the bright side? I can’t feel its warmth, even with my space heater and my family in the room. This night is 4 years long and counting. I’m tired of Wonderland. This place is no fun without the emotional drugs I let go. The drugs were an illusion. The blue pill doesn’t exist. I’m starting to believe there is no way out of this, there’s no way to integrate this, there are no true companions here, and this is where I’ll be forever or until the next iteration of my soul.

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Insights about body pain

I believe the root of my current discomfort is repressed emotion(s). (John Sarno’s work resonates as my life experiences with body pain.) I believe the part of me that is infinite, my soul, is trying to bring a particular repressed emotion/truth to my consciousness. I believe it’s time for this to happen. I believe my subconscious mind is using this back pain/hand numbness as a distraction, so that my conscious mind will focus on the discomfort rather than experience the repressed emotion/truth, whatever it may be.

I believe the tissues in the region of my scapula, nerve and muscle, have mild oxygen deprivation because that’s the mechanism my subconscious mind may be using to manifest the symptoms of pain and numbness. This is a body knowing, not just a book knowing.

I believe this region affected is primarily the upper part of the back of my heart chakra. There may be some back of the throat chakra involvement too, but it’s in heart opening (vulnerable) positions that I feel the sharpest pain. The tendency of my body is to want to cross my arms in front of my chest to try to stop the pain, collapsing over a yoga ball on my hands and knees/cat posture, forward fold, shoulder stand all offer some degree of relief. Otherwise it’s hard to get comfortable. Heat on the area helps.

I’m hoping the somatic session next week and the time between now and then may shed more light on the repression whatever it may be. Possibly anger, fear, or shame.

Cognitively, I recognize I have resistance to the truth of divine love and of my divine nature. Aspects of me intimately know divine love as true, but my mind does not yet have this knowing.

I have some fear about universal energy/divine love inside me. Fear of losing body sovereignty is huge in my life. It was the original catalyst for my awakening journey. And part of me also recognizes having divine love/universal energy inside me is why I’m alive - I.e. my life force is the same source of energy. No separation.

I’m in the process of *awakening* in many ways. I recognize I’ve been moving through this process for 4 years. The process still carries intensities for me. I believe this current pain is another manifestation of the *intoxication* aspect of awakening that I’ve been feeling a mix of grief and relief to be moving out of into the *sobriety* aspect where I expect the purpose of my soul moving forward will unfold/is unfolding with greater clarity.

I recognize this moment in time as a big transition for me, coinciding with my daughter transitioning into adulthood (turning 17 in a few weeks), and I recognize my body is holding on. My subconscious mind is using a deep old pattern (I.e. body pain) to try to protect me from whatever emotion/truth it’s trying to protect me from.

My prayer/intention is for integration - i.e. truths sinking in and being accepted by my subconscious mind: The truth that I’m DONE with distractions. I don’t want or need that kind of protection anymore. The truth that I can feel all my feelings and survive. The truth that I WANT to feel all my feelings and be fully in my authentic self. The truth that I want a full unfolding of Truth - slow, yes, but not slowed by body pain or other distractions. Slowed by my agency, by my gentleness.

This pain feels like early labor did with my daughter, only in the back of my heart chakra instead of my abdomen. It’s been going on for 7 days, and that’s long enough for me. I recognize my capacity to be present with it, and I want it to be done. It’s a jig, a distraction from truth. And it’s a passage to whatever’s next.

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Memory

I wrote this a year ago, while I was in a fuck-ton of pain. This is great shit. I cry reading it again because it’s so good, (“divine grace” 🙄 aside).

THIS is where it’s at for me. Writing historically accurate fantasy fanfiction romance is fun and erotic. I’m certainly good at it and have no plans to stop that hobby. But writing reality and freedom are still my deepest callings.

***

“Many people are aware that government corruption has happened in the past and continues to happen, but refuse to accept that the CDC et al has been and continues to part of that corruption. To accept that reality would shake their foundation, their sense of safety in the world. Most people these days have more trust in a corrupt government to protect them than they do in their own bodies, in the inherent intelligence of their bodies. People in our society are indoctrinated from childhood to not trust our own bodies to keep us well and safe, to look outside ourselves for safety. Corporate interests benefit from this conditioning. Most people are willing to trade their body sovereignty, their innate freedom, for an illusion of safety. When all the while the real safety is inside them, by divine creation or millions of years of evolution. They don’t just trade their own body sovereignty, they forsake everyone’s. And many of them belittle, even bully, anyone who refuses to make that trade, anyone who dares to step outside the house of cards and says, “No. I’m not buying what you’re selling with fear and coercion.” I’ve witnessed the truth, and I’m not afraid to tell it despite being called every variation of “a fucking piece of shit.” I’ve witnessed the gaslighting, the cognitive dissonance. I’ve met the injured. I’ve heard their stories. In those stories is where it happens, the shift in awareness. That’s where truth can’t be denied or debated. I used to wish I could go back to the me I was before this knowing, the me who waved an American flag and advocated for freedom, the me who walked into that State Capitol 4 years ago armed with respect, data, and the constitution, thinking maybe that would be enough. But there is no going back, no blue pill, no distraction or addiction powerful enough to drop the veil back over my eyes. I was very angry for a long time, but much of that anger has dissipated. I don’t judge people for slamming doors when confronted with truths that shake the foundation of their existence. I don’t judge people for closing their eyes to possibilities that would make them want to gouge out their eyes not to see. I’ve known the feeling. And by divine grace I know I can survive with my eyes open.”

***

Hence, ee cummings and the name of my blog.

Hence, the whole of my life — backward and forward.

Literally everything.