#Disventure camp incorrect quotes

[definitelynotriana]

Tom: Hey Jake

Jake: Yeah?

Tom: Your eyes..

Jake: What about them?

Tom: (panicked) YOUR EYES LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL WHEN THEY’RE UH— ATTACHED.

Jake: …

Tom: OKAY BYE. (runs away)

Aiden, hiding in a bush: Tom you idiot…

[tomjakenation]

Jake: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Tom, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

[alumi-san]

Alec with his son: Leave me alone, baby!

Alec with Fiore: AUGHAHAHAHAAGFF! YOU'RE MY BABY!

Alec hugs her: *gasp* YOU'RE MY BABY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! AHAUGH, GOD!

*Fiore pats him on the back with a confused face*

Alec: *gasp* AHAUAGHHHAHAHJG!

[willowshimmer]

Jake: Okay, truth or dare?

Tom: Truth!

Jake: When was the last time you slept?

Tom: .....

Jake: .....

Tom: Dare...?

Jake: Tom I love you but please go to sleep.

Tom: I hate this game...

[accirax]

Tom: *walking into the break room, cup in hand* Which one of you was gonna tell me tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

[ All the men in the room freeze. ]

Alec (who was drinking his own cup): *slowly turns his head towards Tom, eye faintly twitching* You're putting it in COLD water?!

Trevor: Tom?? Answer the question Tom!!

Tom: Yeah, I thought for like 5 years that people just put it into hot water to speed up the... "Tea-ification" process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason. 😅

Derek: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

Trevor: *turns to Derek* Why are you putting it in the *microwave* to boil it?!?

Derek: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on a stove?!

Trevor: It takes *less* than a minute!

Derek: Dude is your stove top powered by the fucking SUN?!

Trevor: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE?!?!!

Derek: LIKE SEVEN MINUTES!!!

Trevor: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in like two minutes.. Less than that and you use a saucepan.

Derek: *wheezes incredulously and almost manically* You're putting the whole mug on the stove??? On medium heat??!!? Your stove is enchanted.

Alec: *pinching the bridge of his nose while he shakes his head* I swear every single person in this camp is a fucking lunatic-

Nick: Do none of you own a FUCKING KETTLE?!!

Thought I'd add my own contribution to the Disventure Camp Incorrect Quotes community. 😄 Just another day of Tom being an absolute himbo and it becoming everyone else's problem, lol.

Original source (surprise surprise it's a tumblr post): https://youtu.be/pWv_8nOcNXE?si=glW_35svhWMz_YGE Animation using the quote/audio which inspired this skit: https://youtu.be/tmSLJMq1GNQ?si=wQX_Tm5DcP5T1mer

i'm making some tea today, so this was perfect timing!

[tazernatic]

alec: the path to inner peace starts with four words alec: not my fucking problem

[benti]

On break rn with nothing to do so I made these bc this fandom is severely lacking in them!!

[meanautisticenbian]

Alec: so who broke it? I’m not mad I just wanna know Gabby: I did it, I broke it- Alec: no, no you didn’t. Tom? Tom: don’t look at me, look at Aiden Aiden: what?! I didn’t break it! Tom: huh that’s weird, how did you know it was broken? Aiden: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken Tom: suspicious… Aiden: no it’s not Ellie: if it matters, probably not, put Jake was the last one to use it Jake: liar! I don’t even drink that crap! Ellie: oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Jake: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles everyone knows that Ellie- Gabby: hey let’s not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it Alec- Alec: No! Who broke it?! … Aiden: Alec… Grett’s been awfully quiet lately Grett: Really? Oh my god [CONFESSIONAL] Alec: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict in ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick Alec: good. It was getting a little chummy in here

[muggle-born-princess]

(Tom sees Ellie and Gabby)

Tom: What the fuck knuckles is this?

Ellie: She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit.

Tom: Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox and Friends. I'm just surprised anyone would date you, especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

Gabby: I like this guy.

[definitelynotriana]

James: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing— 
Aiden: We’re married.

[ijustreallylikepirates]

Someone anonymously asked if I could do this so here:

Alec, with his tote bag: Damn, I don’t wanna go to work today

Fiore: Well too bad for you! I’m gonna go tell lies

Alec, scooping her into his tote bag: Or maybe you can come to work with me

Fiore, sticking her head out of the bag: Let me out of here you piece of shit!

Anyways, that’s the best I could come up with so sorry if this doesn’t meet your expectations 👍🏻

[alumi-san]

Aiden: Hey James, you got anything to drink?

James: Ya, in the fridge.

Lake: Hey Aiden, ah, grab me a glass of milch.

Aiden: They don't have any milch, but I can get you some milk.

James: That's what she just said.

Lake: Ya, I just want some milch.

Aiden: Nah - you saying it wrong - you're saying milch! Like, it's a disease.

James chuckles: How do you say it?

Aiden: I'm saying it the way everyone oughta say it. Milk. M-I-L-K.

James: Right, like 2 percent.

Lake: Right, like whole milch.

Aiden: No no no no no say milkshake.

Lake: Milkshake.

Aiden: Ok, now say milk.

Lake: Milch.

Aiden: A-Are you hearing this?

James: Ya, the girl wants a glass of leite.

Aiden: Leite?!

James: Give her the leite, Aiden!!!!

*Jameses father walks in*

Dad: James, vozes internas, por favor (James, inside voices, please).

James: Desculpe, pai, meus amigos brancos. (Sorry, dad, my white friends).

*Father walks out*

Lake: AIDEN! POUR ME A GLASS, OF MILCH!!!

Aiden: Why are you yelling at me?

James: Just give her the friggin leite!

Aiden: You guys aren't even saying the same thing!

Lake: WE'RE ALL SAYING MILCH, AIDEN!!!

Aiden: No! YOUR SAYING MILCH! YOUR SAYING L-

James & Lake: *Disturbing sounds*

Aiden pulls a gun on them: SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

*Then aims on himself*

*James & Lake pulling their guns on Aiden*

James: YOU BETTER PUT IT DOWN!

Lake: DON'T - DON'T DO IT!! AIDEN!

Aiden: You're gonna shoot me if I shoot myself? That doesn't make any sense!!

*They pause for a moment, and James & Lake are now pulling their guns on themselves*

Lake: AIDEN PUT IT DOWN! PUT THE GUN DOWN!!! AIDEN PUT YOUR GUNS AWAY!!

James: BABE PUT IT DOWN NOW!!

Aiden: I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF OVER THIS!

Lake: YOU'RE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME! YOUR HAND IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME!

*They're crying now*

.

.

.

James: And then we pull the trigger, all of us.

Aiden & Lake: No!

Aiden: We're not filming something like that for your tik-tok!

James: Why not?

Lake: It's too dark...

James: But it's also tragic that because of the language barrier, we almost kill our selfs.

Aiden: James, no means no.

James: But guys-

Aiden & Lake: NO!

[willowshimmer]

Trevor: Don't break people's hearts! They only have one.

Derek: Yeah just break their bones! They have 206 of them. They don't need that many.

[accirax]

Nick, Will & Alec are standing in an elevator. Will stands in between the other two, nervously fiddling with his thumbs while Alec and Nick are arguing brainstorming ideas for their break in. After some silence, Nick speaks up again.

Nick: Hey, let's do "Get Help".

Alec: ... What?

Nick: Get Help~ 😏

Alec: No! 😠

Nick: C'mooon, you'll love it.

Alec: No, I hate it.

Nick: It's fun!

Alec: It's humiliating.

Nick: Do you have a better idea?

Alec: ... No.

Nick: Then we're doing it. 😊

Alec: We are *not* doing "Get Help"!

Once they reach their designated floor, the trio is seen rushing out the elevator with Alec hanging limply and draped over Will's large shoulders, and Nick yelling frantically.

Nick: HELP! GET HELP! OUR FRIEND IS DYING!! GET HELP! PLEASE! HELP HIM!!!

With a mighty grunt, Will launches Alec across the room over at the three guards who were lined up at the entrance, knocking them all out when they make a collision. Afterwards, Will runs over to check on Alec & help him up while Nick just observes the situation and laughs to himself, feeling pleased with the success of his plan.

Will: Uh, sorry if I threw you too hard.. 😅

Nick: Ahh, classic~ 😁

Alec: *glaring right at Nick while he fixes his clothes* Still hate it! It's humiliating. 😡

Nick: *chuckling* Not for me it's not. 😏

More Incorrect Quotes! I've never watched the Thor movie but I know that this particular scene was a bit of a meme for a while, so... Here's this.

did you add a third person (Will) into this scene just because you thought that Nick wasn't strong enough to pick up Alec? that's almost funnier to me than the original scene lmao

[tazernatic]

Jake: remember when you said you'd stop interfering with my love life?

Ellie: nah that doesn't sound like me at all

[disventurecamptakes]

*gabby and Ellie on a rowboat in the middle of the lake*

*ellie holding a box with a ring*

Ellie: now that we’re alone gabby, there’s a burning question my heart longs to ask you

Gabby: oh ellie-

*alec pulls up in a motorboat*

Alec: hey wanna hear a joke?

Ellie: uhh-

Alec: here goes: my ex wife still misses me….but her aim is getting better!

*silence*

Alec: her aim is getting better!

*more silence*

Alec: you see it’s funny because marriage is terrible

*gabby and Ellie row off*

Alec: what???

.