#Did anyone else here have the most toxic relationships between the ages of 12-16. What the fuck was up with that.

[groovyships]

Ngl at the time it was terrible and in retrospect it was probably the worst time of my life but it is objectively VERY funny that my ex gf (closeted bisexual) used to verbally abuse me because I had gay ships. It literally doesn't even sound real when I'm typing it out

[kikiscastleinthesky]

THE SOKKASM ZUTARA

I’ve seen a lot of tumblr blogs that ship zutara and I decided that is time for me to open mine too. So, yes, I’m a zutara shipper. And for the time being, my posts are going to be dedicated principally to analyze the ships in ATLA. 

Disclaimer alert:  I’m not forcing anyone to ship zutara. And I won’t accept hate because I (and many others) may have a different opinion, If you are one of those persons I invite you to leave, don’t waste my time and yours, because I’m not even going to reply. Everyone has the right to ship whatever they like and want, without been mocked, harrassed and humiliated. 

Well... now that everything is settled: 3...2...1 go!

I’m starting with this small analysis, because every zutara shipper has been attacked on why zutara and zutara is horrible yada yada but, this ocassion I’m gonna use all the attacks we get and defend it. 

I. Zutara is way the worst toxic relationship:

You call Zuko the abuser, the toxic and the bad tempered? Then you     didn’t get a clue of his redemption arc.

You call zutara toxic for:

a)     giving your mother’s closure and final acceptance into the group?

b)     saving each other’s life?

c)     being the “leading co-parenting” of the group?

d)     support you when you’re about to beg for his uncle forgiveness?

II. The cave scene didn’t mean anything, and just think about it, they would never ever get along well:•      

  Of course, I misunderstood Zuko confessing his own grief, probably he just hates her.

When Katara opens to her mother sorrow like she never did with anyone was like no big deal.

 That part when she offers to heal his scar with SACRED water was totally illogical.

And being the first person who he let touch his scar really said to me that they were absolutely toxic.

 Yes, he betrayed her initial trust. And it hurt, but guess who betrayed worst? The man who for three years was his father. But nope, Iroh, should never forgive Zuko, for what he did. (Right? Katara was betrayed and she should bever have interest in him, so Iroh would never forgive his abuser, right?)

III. Zutara is about getting in love with your abuser:

The abuser love? When did Zuko abused Katara? When did he forced to do something she didn’t want? Did he ever physically abused her or sexually assaulted her? Even if he tied her to a tree, he never humiliated her, he never hurt her or overpass against her. Or are you trying to make up his whole plot to eliminate all his attacks towards team avatar only rest in the female character? (Have you forgot how he betrayed his uncle? Or even himself?)

IV. Zutara is an age gap, it would be underage thing. “You don’t like Aang because he is a child and still pair Zuko, being a minor.” You want to hypersexualize two kids (Aang and Katara) into having sexual interest.

Katara would have been dating an underage guy too. She would have been 18 and Aang 16. I know! Age gap only matter when the man’s older. Both Katara and Zuko had gone through puberty, and both were in adolescence, both shared the same maturity level. Yes dude, there a huge difference in being a CHILD and being a TEENAGER, yes, still minor, But with puberty hit already.

Actually, I still believe even being 11-12 you can get like a… spark… a hint. Even if its not a relationship whatsoever, and not having sexual interest of any kind. If you really want to see what closest we get to a “real” attraction and potential between kiddos that age, you get S1Mike and Eleven (stranger things) / you get Chihiro and Haku (Spirited away) / you get Pazu and Sheeta. (The castle in the sky) –Wooo, that really changes things right?

But yet there are people that believe shipping zutara is “pedophile” I thought in seriously not replying to this stupidities but, here I am, dismantling their theories.

So, this is real life. An adult person trying to sleep with a prepubescent kid. So… there is no support on this. Because a ship is about two fictional characters in a fictional story.

What about fictional pedophilia? Well, we can change that: Fictional pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder when you ship an adult fictional character (+18) to have a sexual interest in a fictional prepubescent child (-12) and / or attempt to engage both characters in sexual acts.

So step one… are either Zuko or Katara either an adult or prepubescent child? As you can see in the image at the right, both have gone through puberty. Step two, are you trying to a couple of minors to get sexually involved? No, this is a love story, not porn. And before you yell at me for the porn zutara comics/fics on the web, I guess you should see the porn Kataang /fics comics on the web too.

But I don’t hate any ship. So, technically, neither Kataang, nor Sukka, nor Yukka, nor Jetara, nor Maiko is pedophilia.

Ok, yeah yeah its not pedo, but is statutory rape, so yet it’s illegal.

Oh yes, if we state that 18 is the age where you are considered an adult (at least in my country) both are minors, your term is partially correct. But guess what would be statutory rape too?

Sukka (15) and Maiko (16-17), both implied to have sex relationships and canon during the series.

The episode "The Southern Raiders" became (in)famous among the fandom for what is a truly epic instance of this trope. Zuko bumps into a very flustered Suki on the way to Sokka's tent, and she hurriedly excuses herself. He walks into Sokka's tent to ask him a question and finds him pants-less and surrounded by flowers and candles. He even greets Zuko with a suggestive "Well helloooo..." before he realizes who itis. After a short talk, he rushes Zuko out and sticks his head out to call for Suki. And if there was any doubt, Sokka is shown the next morning fiddling with a flower necklace for no apparent reason... except to indicate that maybe Suki had been ���deflowered”.

And yet, if Kataang had sex, it would be statutory sex at some point too: 16 and 18 -Conclusions: Statutory sex takes all ships equally.

V. Poor Aang he would be devastated.

Kid, he’s 12, in the comics he’s 13-14. Or what? Haven’t you guys had a broken heart ever? Your high school sweetie? Or Aang’s so frail to not be able to find love? To close himself for a better opportunity? Seeking your own happiness in not selfish. What is selfish is seeking your own happiness at the other expenses.

And even that, we all know what would Aang do if Katara starts a relationship with Zuko. (Even if it wasn’t Zuko, I highly doubt he would like Katara dating someone else) He would go on avatar rampage. That is NOT healthy, that is NOT romantic. That is extremely possessive and selfish to do. It’s psychotic. Because Aang cares more about himself than Katara’s feelings, even if she would be happier without him.

VI. Zutara is all about sex interest.

Well once more you mistake chemistry with sexual needs. Wanting me to sleep with my husband means I only use him for sex relief? If I find myself sexually attracted to anyone probably means I just want to sleep with that person and nothing else.

VII. A hug is all zutarians have to acknowledge zutara:

We have a complete extended analysis in all the small details, but we like to use that forgiveness hug because in that hug you have more potential that all the kataang scenes all together. We have thousands of complete analyses, pages dedicated exclusively zutara. 

VIII. Katara “fell in love with Aang” and it’s not one sided.

Uh... Nope, just because two persons are good friends it doesn’t mean they are a good couple. Yes, the way the both of them interact is absolutely beautiful, But not romantically.

Do we see Katara’s view on romantically being drawn towards Aang? Yes, we see it, and yes, unfortunately, is one sided.

How Kataangers complete this:

·       The fortune-teller: I didn’t see like “Wow omg the avatar is going to be my future husband!” But… was like “uh… really?… well, I guess it’s him” Zutarians and Aunt Wu are the base for many backs up theories. ;) Aang is not the only powerful bender you know? And actually, that episode is way trying too hard to demonstrate the crush Meng has for Aang and Aang has to Katara. How is even healthy to accept that sometimes persons don’t like you back and it’s not the end of the world.

·       The cave scene: I forgot that Katara is telling him to be her boyfriend and they will live happily ever after. And really, it all gets us to a real Oma and Shu theory. Not to mention that they were “forced” to kiss because their kids innocence believed if they kissed, they wouldn’t die, and that Aang messed up things as well. But if you see it beneath, if she was truly interested, she would have told Aang: “wow omg we kissed, ok. let’s give him a clue…” nothing, she goes back in treating him same as always.

·       The headband dance: Well that’s a fair point yes. Actually, I felt something different…unfortunately Katara later had to tell him not to kiss her.

IX. Zutara is because you projected on Katara and had a crush on Zuko, because Katara and Zuko were your favourite characters and because is the bad boy style romance.

My crush was Jet <3, and zutara was the most logical endgame for girls. Ask any girl, ANY 14 yo who would like to date: A high school, nice and handsome guy or a 7th grader that had potential to be her best friend. (See the logic) 

And nope is not like “Insert fav characters of the opposite sex to ship them” You need to see real development.

I don’t know why they stereotype Zuko as the “bad boy” – relationship archetype. Zuko is never seen to be the classic fuck boy who treats girls like shit and suddenly there comes a lady to change him. Maybe he is a “bad boy” (confused though) in S1 and S2, but his redemption arc is literally the answer of why he is not “bad boy” anymore.

If Katara was truly and really romantically interested then she wouldn’t have friendzoned Aang. Once? Nope 4 times. And also… are we forgetting kind of imagery…

Friendzoned  

 When Aang fixes her a small necklace with the fishing  thread.

 When he kissed her at the invasion. She didn’t  reciprocate it. (I’m not even mentioning the mommy proud speech)

 When he wanted to talk about the kiss in the western  air temple (Comic love is a battlefield)

 When he kissed her at the play and she had to told  him to back off.

 Strange imagery

 She was June Pippinpaddleopsokopolis (Aang’s  granddaughter)

When Aang got shot, she held his body in her arms in  the exact way Mary held Jesus in Pieta’s sculpture.

 She was Sapphire Fire. (Aang’s pregnant mother)

After they got married, in the book legacy, she said  she enjoyed most seeing Aang becoming a man. (Honestly ladies if I got a BF  the least I want is seeing how the kid transforms into a man)

I’m looking forward to watch you grow into manhood  as I did to your father (Katara’s letter to Tenzin)

 I’m really  trying to deny Oedipus complex here.

Still hard for me to track Katara’s love interest for little Aang since all we see is more a relationship mom/sister or Harry/Hermione. I have heard rumours that Bryke wanted to give the ship “mystery” and “expectation” but I think they really messed up, I didn’t see expectation or mystery, I saw a child insisting to a girl that didn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t even like she didn’t have much of a chance, because her love interests:

Was killed by Long Feng

Gave him a hideous mustache and disappeared him after Azula’s attack in the western air temple.

Forced to be attached to a toxic relationship.

Apart that all those points I’ve mentioned, Kataang is not a relationship for me. Staying in a formal relationship with the first person they met of the opposite sex at 14 -12 (guys not even Disney does that, jeez not even studio Ghibli) and not having any chance to experience any other relationship. Never experiencing a broken heart, or someone better. I think that it gives the wrong idea, telling guys that no matter how long they are placed in friendzone, eventually the girl will fall for them. They just have to keep insisting.

You could say, but what a hypocrite! Snow White was 14 years old when she went to live with that prince! Many princesses are 16! And not to mention that many men were the first they met! Like Aurora, Rapunzel, and Cinderella. Well, you are right at one point. But ... the interaction of these characters changes radically, mainly because they never "give cute kisses" to their future husbands, nor do they treat them like their brothers or their children and ... the men were never friendzoned, except for Naveen at the beginning. You see the real attraction of teenage girls with an older boy. And I'm not saying that they should never be friends or support each other. Mulan and Chang were allies, friends, they supported each other, they saved their lives. But at no time was there the kind of interaction Katara and Aang had.

If Kataang was to be endgame, we would see Katara’s reaction to Jet, totally different, THAT kind of reaction was what I was waiting. (That kind of reaction is what every princess do, at least one time)

The same chemistry we saw in Yukka / Sukka. Honestly, I saw more chemistry between Haru and Katara.

Or at least give us some character development like: Aang, I know my feelings where not as you wanted but now I decided I want to be with you because (list everything here except he being the avatar), I really like you, perhaps we can give it a shot. Or like several things that could clue us that she is interested (come on people, two persons can kiss/hug/ have sex and that doesn’t imply they will be together in a formal relationship) But all we got was: Oh, right, he’s the avatar... suddenly I fell for him and I’m gonna kiss him fully in the mouth and that’s how I’ll tell him and that all my confusion has magically disappeared.

X. I’ve never saw that kind of spark between them. Again, it was “Just a hug”

Yes! That’s initially the whole point of it, a friendship hug, the truth of why we don’t need silly blushes. Because that forgiveness hug shows their initial relationship, they are friends! All their love needs to come first from a truthful friendship, by the contrary of calling the “immediate falling” like Aang did for Katara, it shows us that friendship love can evolve into something more beautiful, and that’s why we like the ship, because all zutara shippers know Zuko and Katara wouldn’t fall in love like that all of the sudden, they have to create the romantic relationship, and that’s what we portray in the fics.

What makes Zutara exceptional is that he, sees her, he hears her, he listens what she had to do, at anytime he forced her to do something she didn’t. And before a “teenager adolescence ship” he sees her as a human, with feelings with own ideals and goals.

And there is a complete and extremely well based analysis in: The crossroads of destiny + The southern raiders + The lighting saving.

XI. The comics show us how toxic they really where.

Their interaction in the comics was something I like to call: destroying a character. Not only Katara, who turned to be that awesome badass to the submissive girlfriend. From how I see it in the series to the comics there’s all I have to say: That’s not my girl.

XII. How Katara could be queen of a country that almost aniquilates her tribe and killed her mother? It would be a betrayal.

I think this argument is out. Not valid. Is like saying a Jew can’t date a German because of the holocaust. (German doesn’t mean nazi, just as Zuko, who was from the Fire Nation and didn’t order Katara’s mother assassination, and not every citizen of the fire nation means a ruthless killer). Is like saying that a Japanese can’t date a us citizen because of the bombs in WW2. And even if we see it “political”, is like… an aphrodescendant can’t rule a country that is racist, then Mr. Obama would have never reached the presidency.

Two persons can unify them, because they can demonstrate that being from different country that initally has not good terms can reach peace. The union between those countries represents the power of maturity, of overcoming adversities and the power of forgiveness. *Our lands now connected by love* And I want her to be queen, I want her to rule, I want her in charge, I want her in power. Imagine all the potential she could have (politics, business, negotiations, rebuilding, restoration, education, public health!! ***faints***) Not only for the fire Nation but for the whole world! Imagine that once Zuko abdicated they left to the south pole and she opened a fighting school and a healing school of her own (like master Pakku, but now her students are given a medical license that acknowledges them as professional healers) And this is just an idea. Like these ideas are hundreds. It would have been the perfect feminist role model!

XIII. Since the beginning, Katara was always interested in Aang and she always supported him and was for him when he needed her. That’s proof they were meant to each other.

If a girl expresses faith in your abilities, she loves you, she hugs you, and she supports you clearly she’s completely into you. Because obviously female best friends don’t exist.

[simpledestruction94]

vaguely nsfw asks 1. Are looks important in a relationship?

They are important to a point but it is not the MOST important thing. Personality over looks. The way I see it is beauty fades away but personality doesn't. 

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes relationships are definitely worth it, but not toxic ones. Each relationship helps you grow and learn from your mistakes.

3. Are you a virgin?

Yes I am.  4. Are you in a relationship?

I am in the best relationship ever.  5. Are you in love?

I am definitely in love, but it is mini love possibly true love. Only time will tell.  6. Are you single this year?

I was briefly but not anymore! 7. Can you commit to one person?

I can commit to one person, but I kind of have commitment issues for like marriage lol.  8. Describe your crush

My crush is tall af, funny, dimples, caring, loving, the sweetest, teddy bear, and fine af. He understands me and loves me for who I am. He is ALWAYS there for me and makes me happy. I would do anything for him.  9. Describe your perfect mate

My perfect mate is my man. I already have him.  10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, I do believe in love at first conversation lol.  11. Do you ever want to get married?

I definitely do! 12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Depends on the extent of betrayal. If its something small, then yes I can forgive. 13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yes I do.  14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

No, my crush is my boyfriend.  15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes I do, I have 3 ear piercings on each ear and a nose piercing.  16. Do you have any tattoos?

No I don’t.  17. Do you like kissing in public?

Sometimes, but probably more when I am married. 20. Do you shower every day?

I wash my hair every other day but I take a body shower everyday.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Uh, yeah my man does.  22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Yeah, my man.  23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Of course.  24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I really hope so. Otherwise, Imma cry.  25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Ummm, I am in one.  26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes :)  27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yes :)  28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes.  29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No.  30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Yes. Probably my boobs.  31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes.  32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes. I am experiencing it now. 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

No. 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

No. 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes. 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Not in a romantic way. 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

No, not really. 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes. 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

No. 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Yes. 41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Nope. 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Ummm, like 5 minutes. 43. How long was your longest relationship?

2.5 years? I think.  44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

None of your business. 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Ummm, one? Maybe. 46. How many times did you have sex last year?

0. 47. How old are you?

23. 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would cry. 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Their positivity. I love that they look at the world as half glass full. Their kindness and compassion. Their intelligence and sense of humor.  50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

My first true love is my current person, so yes.  51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

My man. 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yes, because they are a piece of shit or shitty person.  53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No. 54. Is there someone you will never forget?

No. 55. Share a relationship story.

This is embarrassing, but I was at Disney Springs with my boyfriend and we were waiting in line for the buses to come. I had dropped something and I went to go pick it up and I fell down in slow motion. It was so embarrassing I wanted to die. My boyfriend did not realize I had fallen because I fell slo-mo. We laughed about it once it happened. But to this day, this memory haunts me.  56. State 8 facts about your body

I have really big eyes. I have a big butt. My hair is curly. I have 12-15 moles on my body. I have baby hands. I am short. I have soft skin. I have really light skin.  57. Things you want to say to an ex

Fuck you mofo.  58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Chocolate, food (taco bell/chick fil a), hugs and kisses, gifts, and sweet messages. 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

No. 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

5 years. 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their facial hair.  62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Love me. Basically protect me and stand up for me.  63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Uhh, the normal sex definition lol.  64. What is your definition of cheating?

Sexting, having sex, intentional flirting. 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Not going to say it here.

66. What is your favourite role-play?

None of your business.  67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Museum, dinner, hookah, and walk in the park.  68. What is your sexual orientation?

Straight. 69. What turns you off?

Cockiness, rude to people, and ungrateful.  70. What turns you on?

Uhh none of your business.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Uhhh none of your business. 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Not having sex.  73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

My man does all the sweet things like sending me flowers and gifts because I am a princess.  74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Facial hair.  75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Write me poems and sent me a care package.  76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Moved across the country and sent a care package. 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

I am okay with it. I like guys older than me.  78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Ummm, none of your business.  79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

Today. My friend was talking about her best friend and wished I had that kind of best friend relationship but I don’t.  80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Today. But it was mini love.  81. Who are five people you find attractive?

My man, my baby, my man, my boo thang, my future husband.  82. Who is the last person you hugged?

Kazal.  83. Who was your first kiss with?

My first boyfriend.  84. Why did your last relationship fail?

He was a piece of shit.  85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Yes. 

[ramenrains]

Why a lot of people are leaving tumblr:

Lately, I've noticed a lot of my mutuals are leaving and not coming back, and even I have only been checking the app a few times a week, seldom coming up with original content the way I once felt I had to.

Personally, while I sincerely like a lot of the people I've met on here since 2011 when I first started using tumblr, I've also started to feel like the purpose it has served in my life has come and gone, and I've also met a lot of people with questionable thoughts and motives. I met a girl who I believed was the love of my life for over a year on this site, but I've also been catfished twice, so.

I feel like my trust and enjoyment in this site have been greatly diminished since I started using it, and if I don't stop outright it's more likely to just become a bunch of reblogs of images and memes for my own simple enjoyment rather than to try and socialize within any given fandom. I've got a few simple reasons I'll try to summarize here:

THE MONEY: Translating my fanfiction-writing abilities into a skill for transcription and helping friends with their academic writings has made me more money than offering my writing skills up for commission on this site. Up until the middle of last month, I've been in constant financial turmoil, despite always working at least two jobs. I've been on and off homeless, living in an abusive environment, or since I was 16. I moved into my current living arrangements in May of this year, and this has been the longest consecutive period of stability in my life thus far.

As such, when I saw others reaching out for financial assistance, I started to do the same. While I always offered services or recompense for the help I received, I still got a LOT of donations from people, both anonymous and not. There have admittedly been periods where I was too dependent on receiving these donations and where I was less responsible with money than I should have been. This came - I believe- from a mix of a lack of example of financial stability, and a strong desire for material objects that I felt I deserved and needed for self-care's sake or whatever.

I did however, sign up for a free budgeting class last month and it has really put my needs vs wants into perspective and helped me balance my income. But I've started to believe that the social climate on here fosters a complete lack of personal accountability in that no one is forcing anyone to donate to anyone else at gunpoint. But persuasive writing is absolutely a thing, and I have been guilty of it. And ultimately, shaming or worrying people into helping you just... isn't okay and is inherently dishonest to an extent.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have been helped, to have been fed and kept out of homelessness more often than not, but the resulting cost on my mental state just hasn't been worth it.

THE POLARIZING RIGHT VS WRONG MENTALITIES: I'm currently 24 years old, and haven't written a fully fleshed out fanfic in over a year. Previous to even that, the last time I wrote explicit fanfiction featuring Yongguk and Zelo was in 2014, when I was 21. And at 21 in 2014, writing fictionalized interactions between an 18-year-old and 24-year-old, I was branded a pedophile.

I can understand why a lot of people disliked the content of what I was writing, and it's part of why I stopped writing it. But it was really harmful to me to be branded a pedophile, to be told to kill myself and to be told my history as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse was a lie, simply because I wrote a fictionalized relationship between two people with a 6 year age difference. I've only been working with a therapist for the past year to undo the lingering trauma from being abused from the ages of 12-14, but the mentality of the people on this site who attacked me over something clearly branded as fiction contributed to the existing climate amongst friends and family members that assumed I was lying, and generally made me feel undeserving of help, and like I was better off dead.

These mentalities push people from one extreme to another, and are more about absolving oneself of #problematic characteristics than it is about preserving the mental well-being of all involved and gradually unlearning toxic and harmful behaviors. Ever made a mistake? Well, if you have made it on tumblr, you will likely be encouraged to kill yourself in retribution for months, if not years. Ironically, the people who militantly preach against anything they deem pedophilia have no problem pushing 15-year-olds to commit or attempt suicide based on perceived slights or typical 'edgy teen syndrome' that most of us are guilty of to an extent.

THE POPULARITY CONTESTS: If you are extremely involved in a fandom, chances are there is some petty jealousy or sense of competition between the content creators of that fandom. I used to be fought with and pick fights with other b.a.p content creators over the SMALLEST things. This site makes it feel like there is limited room for people to be recognized within fandom, and also makes that recognition seem really illustrious when in reality, lots of people on here knowing who you are just leads to more scrutiny. Frankly, I've stopped thinking I needed the attention of a fandom on me years ago, and I think that desire for attention stifles an authentic creative process and does nothing but stir up bad blood between people that should be friends for TOTALLY petty reasons.

[what-my-bones-said]

you should answer all of those questions xoxo

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Yes but not as important as everything else

2. Are relationships ever worth it? Always worth it

3. Are you a virgin? nope

4. Are you in a relationship? happily taken :)

5. Are you in love? very much so

6. Are you single this year? nope!

7. Can you commit to one person? yes

8. Describe your crush she’s the most perfect girl in the world

9. Describe your perfect mate my perfect mate is my girlfriend

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? i do

11. Do you ever want to get married? yes

12. Do you forgive betrayal? sometimes, it depends on the situation

13. Do you get jealous easily? yes

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? i have a pretty big crush on my girlfriend

15. Do you have any piercings? yes, just my ears

16. Do you have any tattoos? yes, two (hopefully more soon)

17. Do you like kissing in public? yes

20. Do you shower every day? no

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? i sure hope so...

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? i think someone might be(;

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yes

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? I’m pretty positive

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? i want to stay in the relationship I’m in 

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yes

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? yes, a poem

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? no i haven’t

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yes

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? yes

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yes

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? yes

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yes

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? yes, multiple poems

41. Have you had sex so far this year? yes

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? i can just kiss for a pretty long time

43. How long was your longest relationship? 4.5 years

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 17

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? 2

46. How many times did you have sex last year? too many to count

47. How old are you? 23

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? be very sad because i’m in a relationship with them

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? hard to choose just one thing.. :) My favorite thing is probably how easy she is to talk to

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? nope

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? my girl

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? yes, because I put in a lot of work and got nothing back in return

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? i don’t think so

54. Is there someone you will never forget? I mean I don’t really forget people??

55. Share a relationship story. One time I was having sex with my girlfriend and the dogs we were dog sitting got really upset and wouldn’t stop barking until we stopped. 

56. State 8 facts about your body I have a big ass, I break out easily, my eyes change from green to blue, i have thick eyebrows, my hair is brown, my hair is short, i’m 5′4″, i have long fingers

57. Things you want to say to an ex absolutely nothing

58. What are five ways to win your heart? my heart is taken, so no need to share(;

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 3 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? physically, probably their smile. Personality wise, sense of humor

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? push me against a wall and kiss me hard

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? oral/fingers/intercourse

64. What is your definition of cheating? being emotionally or physically invested in someone else

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? lots of teasing 

66. What is your favourite roleplay? i don’t do roleplay

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? anywhere with my girl

68. What is your sexual orientation? i like who i like, we’ll leave it at that

69. What turns you off? lying, bad teeth, inability to follow through

70. What turns you on? my girlfriend

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? not sharing that here

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? the moaning is all i need

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? i like surprises, so anything that is planned that is a surprise is really nice

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? someone who is really good in bed

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? i’ll have to think about that one-- my girlfriend does sweet things for me all the time

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? my girlfriend says i do a lot of sweet things for her

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? doesn’t matter as long as it’s not toxic//you’re being taken advantage of 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? i have to think about that 

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? a bank teller was flirting with my girlfriend lol

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? just now :)

81. Who are five people you find attractive? my girlfriend, jessica alba, mila kunis, blake lively, leonardo dicaprio

82. Who is the last person you hugged? my mom

83. Who was your first kiss with? an ex-boyfriend

84. Why did your last relationship fail? manipulation and lying

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? i have before, i wouldn’t again haha

[hevvynonearth]

1-85 please and thank you

I got asked all of the questions by one person so here they are.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?Nah

2. Are relationships ever worth it?Yeah depends. If it’s toxic then no.

3. Are you a virgin?Yes.

4. Are you in a relationship?No

5. Are you in love?Kinda

6. Are you single this year?Yes

7. Can you commit to one person?Yes

8. Describe your crushWeird but in a good way

9. Describe your perfect mateSomeone who is like me or gets me

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?No

11. Do you ever want to get married?Maybe but definitely not before I’m 30

12. Do you forgive betrayal?No

13. Do you get jealous easily?Yes

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?Kinda

15. Do you have any piercings?Yeah I have a helix and industrial ear piercing. Also I have my ears normally pierced

16. Do you have any tattoos?Yes I have three. All of which are skulls

17. Do you like kissing in public?I don’t mind it

20. Do you shower every day?Yes. I don’t like going a day without a shower.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?Yes

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Yes

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yes cause fucking cheating is disgusting I would just break up with them if I didn’t want to be with them anymore.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?No

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?Depends

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes a few people have.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?I don’t know actually they might of but I have never seen it.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?No

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no fuck that shit

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?Yes, I want my nose fixed. I have a huge hole in it from when I tried to pierce my own septum and now I can’t breath out of it and when it heals the scab will fall out my nose. It’s painful

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Yes.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?Yes but it’s whatever I don’t let it get to me

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?Nope

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?Nope

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Nope

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes. I have had a few best friends over the years

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?No

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Yes, I’m in the middle of writing a symphony for my best friend Addy. ((It’s called Red Ivie.)) I’m not letting them hear it till it’s done.

41. Have you had sex so far this year?No

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Idk never really got that far.

43. How long was your longest relationship?Friendship 4 years. Romantic a month and a half.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?3 two of which I don’t really count cause I dated them for a stupid reason.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?Zero

46. How many times did you have sex last year?Zero

47. How old are you?18

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Tell them to go for it. It’s there choice who they like not mine.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?I don’t have a girlfriend

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? No

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?Yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?No.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Yes.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?Yes

55. Share a relationship story.It’s not a romantic one but it’s between me and my best friend Addy. She came to visit me when I first moved and when we where saying our goodbyes, her mom made us hug cause we weren’t gunna see each other for a while. It was awkward cause neither one of us like hugging that much. It was nice and all but still weird. To this day me and her have only hugged I believe twice in four years.

56. State 8 facts about your bodyFucking short. ((Under five feet))Slightly Crooked nose. SkinnyTattoos And I have Good legs I guess I have a scar on the corner of my right eye from hot oil. Big feet for someone my size. I have a scar on my chin as well

57. Things you want to say to an exFuck you, you mother fucking twat.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?Talk to me. Let me ramble on about stupid shit.Say you care about me cause I do need reassurance every once and a while. Don’t judge me for who I am. Food also a Good way for me to like you.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)Nah fam. But my profile picture is me when I had longer hair and I was wearing my friends gas mask.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?A year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?The way they talk

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?Hug me from behind. I like that gay shit boi

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?Sexual contact that’s consensual

64. What is your definition of cheating?When we are dating and you kiss or date someone else besides me and didn’t talk to me about a open relationship first.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?Don’t know

66. What is your favourite roleplay?Don’t know

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Playing video games

68. What is your sexual orientation?Lesbian

69. What turns you off?Rape/sexual assault and the three P’s

70. What turns you on?Idk

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?Never had one

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?Never had sex so I don’t know

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Hold my hand

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?I like it when people are taller than me. But not over a foot taller then me. It’s fine if they are btw.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?one time after shit hit the fan me and my sister where every upset but I wouldn’t cry in front of her. So then I fell asleep on the couch. But I was half awake so I could hear everything and my mom put a blanket over me, kissed my forehead and said “I love you” then left. I felt really loved then.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?When my sister was sad I bought her ice cream when I could nearly afford it.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?As long as they both over 18 I don’t care

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?Not telling it’s a secret boi

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?A little while ago when a friend was dating someone. I thought I would loose them/they wouldn’t spend time with me anymore or have anything to do with me. But that wasn’t the case haha

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Today.

81. Who are five people you find attractive?Me. Scarlet Johansson My crush This girl named Grace. Felicia Day

82. Who is the last person you hugged?My mother

83. Who was your first kiss with?Some girl at church camp. ((Lol))

84. Why did your last relationship fail?They where crazy

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? No, I wouldn’t know if it was actually them or them pretending to be someone they are not.

Sorry for such a long post but they asked for all of them so I answered them the best I could. :)

[theintuitivewildflower]

Twenty early signs of an awakening and how to embrace your journey!

💜🌻🙏When a wildflower blooms: a spiritual awakening experience🙏🌻💜

I’ve always felt like a wildflower. Different from the structured roses in gardens; they seemed too prim and proper, tamed from being tied up to trellises and told where and how to grow. Like Alice may have felt when she fell into wonderland with the talking flower gardens; they were whispering and gossipping about her strangeness and stated that she must be “a wildflower.” I always just did my best to fit in and it seemed to suffice for many years. However, I couldn’t help but notice that I thought differently; more deeply than my family and peers. I’ve been the unofficial counselor all my life; finding joy when I’m able to help others in some way.

I’ve always had strong intuition but in my younger years I didn’t always listen to it. I remember having deja-vu type dreams and being told it was a coincidence. I quit paying attention to it all and life happened; marriage,kids, college loss of loved ones and a divorce, for example. I went through the motions that everyone around me did, unfulfilled and with a knowing that I wasn’t pursuing my purpose. I had allowed others to plan my course and let ego steer. I wasn’t the peaceful let it go type during these years. I was unhappy, angry, resentful mainly with myself and this would overflow out to my relationships.

My spiritual journey to awakening began after a suicide in the family, followed by a rough divorce. Next, I found myself in a toxic relationship in which I experienced emotional trauma. It lasted 6 years and did damage to my soul. I was able to get the strength and resources to get out after a long 6 years and vowed to heal and get myself back because I had lost myself. There were times so dark I contemplated suicide. I felt very stuck, alone and isolated. Something inside never let me get that far. I did a lot of praying and asked for signs to show me what I was supposed to be doing. I was 39.

After the break-up, I had an epiphany moment. I discovered he was a narcissist while researching things he had said were wrong with me and I had believed him. I considered this my first sign from God that I knew who I was. I wasn’t what I had been for the past 6 years. The beauty in that whole emotionally toxic ugly struggle is that here; I found out I was an empath. Narcissists prey on my type and suddenly everything made sense and healing was seeming possible. Everything clicked within me and I began to have constant thoughts about how to help others that were in toxic situations. My childhood deja-vu moments made sense now. Raised in church with a passionate Pentecostal mother and a Baptist raised father, the gift of being an intuitive empath would be called the gift of discernment of spirits. I started to realize that religion and all it’s many names were very similar. That it might just be man, operating in self and ego that has added to, taken from, and changed words of spiritual writings to fit into various religion’s oppinions. Many egos have edited spiritual writings over time. I always felt like, at the core, the message of God is still there; in similar universal truths that tie them all together . I was raised not to waste Godly benefits and so I vowed to follow my intuitions from now on and be conscious of my gift. With each time I followed it, my intuition got stronger and sharper. I was committed to continued personal growth and soul work to heal from the toxicity. I was also like a sponge studying all I could about my gifts and I was determined to fulfill my purpose and passion for helping others. I began sharing information on emotional abuse and the magnetic pull between the narcissist and the empath; not caring that I was annoying some family and friends by being so transparent. However, learning I was an empath changed my life. It helped me see that not all those feelings I had in the toxic relationship were my own. I was feeling his stuff to, absorbing it. It was very empowering to learn myself.   Just saw this on Amazon: Audible Membership http://amzn.to/2G3WKRp via @amazonLoving this! Book lovers, you know where the best online selection is. Right now you can sign up for Amazon audible and get to free books with the purchase. Check it out! Personal growth and self-development reads can be a very important part of your growth process if you are feeding your head with the right content; positive and empowering, of course. 

At 40 I took a birthday road trip to Colorado with the girls. We had time in nature, time to talk and it was very peaceful. I dreaded getting back to my job. When I returned I did notice headaches and light sensitivity and tension in the base of the neck. I wondered why I suddenly hated my job, everyone around me seemed fake at work and everywhere else. I wanted to get away from everything that didn’t bring a peaceful vibe with it.

This is where my awakening began. I was 40 and feeling like I might be menopausal or about to have a mid life crisis situation; something was off. I had several more signs before I discovered that the universe was here to gently shake me awake. This is really where I feel like I was beginning to awaken.

Here are just some of what I experienced as my journey began.

1. 🌻headaches and sensitivity to light

2. 🌻tension at the back of the neck

3. 🌻Stronger intuition

4. 🌻Current relationships changed or ended

5. 🌻Could no longer pretend to like or ignore people being false with me.

6. 🌻Annoyed by most people and petty conflicts. Almost everything seemed petty and unimportant. 🌻No time for drama

7. 🌻Intense and near constant craving to be in nature

8. 🌻Intense urge to create: I wrote, painted, made jewelry and started a blog

9. 🌻Dark night of the soul phase in which I desired to be alone, no contact and face my demons and dark side. Taking inventory of what wrongs needed to be made right

10. 🌻Soul tribe began forming. I met new people with me energy that I learned from. Several old friends from the past returned to my life to teach me something.

11. 🌻Unhappy with career and no desire to fulfill my purpose

12. 🌻Change in sleep patterns and needed less sleep. 🌻Changes in family relationships

13. 🌻synchronicity signs

14. 🌻strong focus on personal growth and knowing self

15.🌻Shedding of ego and the experience of strong emotions coming to the surface

16. 🌻desire to kick bad habits and bad relationships

17. 🌻no judgment and indifferent to those judging me

18. 🌻People annoyed by my growth and change

19. 🌻Desire to move. Seeking change

20. 🌻Brain fog

THE FIRST SIGNS WERE HEADACHES AND LIGHT SENSITIVITY AND LOOKING BACK I WAS STILL IN THE DENIAL STAGE UNAWARE THAT THE UNIVERSE WAS ABOUT TO ROCK MY WORLD WITH WAY MORE! IT CAME TO ME SO QUICKLY AND ABRUPTLY THAT I STARTED RESEARCHING ON MY OWN. THERE WERE SO MANY SUDDEN CHANGES THAT I WANTED AND NEEDED. IT WAS AS IF I COULDN’T KEEP UP AND PROCESS THEM ALL OR GET THINGS DONE FAST ENOUGH FOR THE NEXT ONE. THE UNIVERSE AND GOD JUST STARTED MAKING CHANGES FOR ME; MY CAREER, MOVING AND DISCOVERING MY PURPOSE FOR EXAMPLE. ONCE I EMBRACED MY PURPOSE AND STARTED WAKING UP, MIRACLES BEGAN TO HAPPEN. I’M AUTHENTIC TO MY JOURNEY, MY PURPOSE AND MYSELF, ABOVE ALL. I HAVE LEARNED THAT WE ALL HAVE GOD-WITHIN, THAT INNER STRENGTH, THAT VOICE TO GUIDE US.

My blog is dedicated to suicide prevention and advocating for victims of emotional abuse . I was willing to look like a fool to anyone on my friends list because I felt if my story could help one person get away from toxic emotional abuse, it would be worth it. I also knew blogging would help me hold myself accountable to the healing and personal growth process and it has. I’ve always wanted to help others. Learning who I was and awakening to my soul purpose has confirmed that’s why I’m here, to help. In perfect synchronicity, everything I’ve done in my life prior has prepared me for this. That is what amazes me most. Even when I was asleep God and the universe were quietly preparing and training me for purpose; including the pain. I plan to start a non profit resource center for victims of emotional abuse or those in crisis and to spread awareness for suicide prevention.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for letting me share my story with you. When my experience was in full force I was thankful to hear about other people and their stories of awakening. I hope this touches someone somewhere.

Lastly, in true wildflower fashion, I haven’t done things the way most people would. After facing several struggles alone, at age 41 I now celebrate that I am not most people. This journey helped me shed who I was not and awaken to my purpose and who I am. It was in me all along, I just had to declutter and learn some crucial lessons before I was ready for it. It has been the most pivotal experience of my life. I like who I am. Im proud of how far I’ve come. Most importantly, I’m living consciously; I am awake and finally living life instead of just going through the motions. If you feel like you may be experiencing your awakening I hope you embrace it, honoring your very own God-within. Don’t forget to check out the list of personal growth resources at amazon! Books, audio, music and video!  In fact, the  Audible Membership http://amzn.to/2G3WKRp is a great deal for Book lovers, you know where the best online selection is. Right now you can sign up for Amazon audible and get to free books with the purchase. Check it out!

#theintuitivewildflower