#Diary of a creep

[maskrosfe]

Been watching The Apothecary Diaries and love Maomao!! I wanted to draw her with the flower from the opening, the creeping woodsorrel. A youtube comment by user Zenedhyr7612 explained that her nickname MaoMao is a reference to this flower which opens its petals during night, and closes them during the day. Very epic of her :-)

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #3115 - july 12th

Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku / Bluesky

[letz-smoke-zaza]

the curse of being a girl who just wants to share my face and outfits to my tumblr girlies but I know very well creeps will see these pictures too and I want none of those old mfs to have the freedom to do whatever they want to with my pictures.

[2nebula]

ok. so. Murderbot can't eat, right? Well established, it's digestive system is different, nothing would happen except there would be food matter somewhere there shouldn't be. But! But but but, Muderbot can smell. The growth medium thing (and other instances) proves that. Which means Murderbot can probably taste things (in the air, specifically).

I don't think it will, however. And I think it's because Murderbot seems to view all of it's senses as tools for security, and security only. So where am I going with this?

I'd love for Murderbot so slowly start treating parts of itself less like tools and more like what makes it who it is. I feel like as much as Murderbot knows it's a person, it also treats itself so much less like a person. It always insists thing's are different for SecUnits and Bots, and that it and humans are almost incomparable in how they think, act, feel, etc. (Internalized anti–androidism or androidphobia if you will). And for Murderbot to acknowledge it's senses as more than just tools for the job, to experience it's world in a variety of ways just for the sake of it, for the sake of seeing new things and finding joy in them, would be one step closer to Murderbot acknowledging that you don't have to be human to be a person, and that's exactly what it is.

[faun-the-hound]

Brian was sent away from Phoenix Drop at twelve. Three months after that, Lord Malik was murdered/went missing. And Brian didn't find out for four years.

The way the Guard's Academy works is this: two courses, each four years long, either starting at twelve and ending at sixteen, or starting at fourteen and ending at eighteen. The fourteen-eighteen course is more difficult, but also more rewarding, and is the course from which guards can be nominated for the JO9.

Dale put Brian on the first course that was available, wanting his boy to grow up to be a heroic guard just like him, and to fight and patrol alongside him as soon as possible. And so, at twelve years old, Brian was sent across the region to train in O'khasis.

During those four years he was gone:

-Lord Malik was murdered and his home was burned down

-Dale started drinking, getting steadily worse over time

-Molly and Dale separated for several months, though they did get back together, their relationship is still rocky

When Brian came home, he came back to a very different village than where he grew up. He came home unrecognisable from the nervous little kid he was, and, for a moment, he thought he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere, because this couldn't be Phoenix Drop.

This run-down, ramshackle village. Completely lordless and practically abandoned. The friends he knew were gone, their houses empty and gathering dust. When Molly came running up to him, she stopped. She didn't recognise his face, tired and worn-out, a fresh scar still partially scabbed, crossing through his eyebrow. His hair matted, his eyes hollow- she didn't see her son anymore. And she immediately blamed Dale.

Brian didn't recognise the man his father had become. He didn't see the noble, proud and loving father and guard he used to know, just a bumbling moron, inattentive and irritable, arguing that he was right to send their son away, proclaiming Brian a hero "just like him".

He had no regrets for sending his son away. Brian spent most of the last four years half starved, beaten and exhausted, covered in aches and pains that still hadn't faded away, and scars that would never fully heal.

And this is what he comes back to?

Maybe Ivy was right. He was too good for a place like Phoenix Drop.

--------

So, yeah, the Guard Academy isn't the best place to be. Brian didn't even want to be a guard to begin with, but stuck with it when none other than Ivy the Creeping Venom herself applauded his performance in a mock exam. Praised him and planted the idea that Phoenix Drop wasn't good enough for him- that with his talents, he deserved a place on the O'khasian guard instead.

This is why Brian betrayed Phoenix Drop in the end. He was sent away at twelve despite pleading with his father to stay, then came home to a village and family that was almost completely unrecognisable to the one he grew up in. Then Alexis was born, and suddenly Dale wanted to be a father. And Ivy had already put the ideas in his head, promised him a place on the O'khasian guard if he wanted it, so it was an easy choice, really.

Why stay for a village or family that clearly didn't need him?

And, just to be clear, Ivy acted purely as a mentor to Brian. She trained with him, gave him pointers, and took him on as her apprentice for a season, cultivating trust and cementing Brian's belief that she was on his side.

She wasn't. But he was a kid. He didn't know any better.

[sillimancer]

so I've been watching Bluey and I'm on episode 37/52 in series 1 so I feel like I've seen enough of it to have genuine thoughts (I skimmed the wikipedia page too)

the reason I started watching it was because of its reputation among millennials with kids who have been swearing up and down that it's basically free therapy for our age group. I'm definitely in the market to having my brain chemistry altered but after 37 episodes, I don't know that I'm there yet. there is still a lot of show left to go though, and some of the most-circulated clips I've seen on social media have been in episodes I haven't come across yet, so that is subject to change.

what I CAN say is that Bluey is objectively a very good tv show that 100% deserves its Peabody award. it's thoughtful, fun, and honestly funnier than it has any right to be. I've laughed out loud more than once. Joe Brumm made the show with the intention of it being entertaining for both kids and parents and he absolutely nailed that balance, I think. in that way, it's not a kid show; it's a family show. and I like that (and I'm pleasantly surprised by how well it works!).

I haven't been a kid for a long time so it's hard for me to put myself in the shoes of a child, especially in a world that is so drastically different from mine. I think this is the first kid show I've seen that prominently features things like smartphones. I know those shows exist--the new Blue's Clues is a good example of how things have been updated to suit modern audiences--but it's something that caught my eye as an Old Fart (in internet years). Not as a bad or good thing, just as a "wow I'm getting older and it's getting harder to relate to or even understand childhood" kind of way. Maybe that's why people want to be parents so badly. To reconnect with that. I can sympathize with that feeling.

the show focuses a lot on Bluey and her sister and friends navigating the world through imaginative play, which I love and has a solid backing in child developmental psychology. I actually just started learning a little bit about play therapy (I follow a play therapist on tiktok who kinda got me into it, I love her), so I feel like I've been getting a little bonus bit of enrichment out of the show for that. it's like when you're watching a movie that's partly in another language and you don't speak the language but you recognize it and can maybe pick out a couple words? it's like that.

I think Brumm really captured lightning in a bottle with this project. you can feel the love it's made with. the storylines are grounded with just the right touch of an almost magical or fantastical quality that really makes you feel childlike wonder even as a cynical and deeply depressed 30-something. There's conflict and mess, sure, but built on a foundation of safety and community, and I think that's probably what's resonating with (american) millennials. we inherited so much instability and pain from our previous generations that it's hard to believe a world or even a family unit like Bluey's could exist. parents who love each other? who are active in their children's lives? who apologize when they do something wrong? COULDN'T BE US!

all this to say I'm enjoying the show, it's heartwarming, it's charming, it's delightful, and I hope Joe Brumm lives forever. but it's also very much designed for children so like. I worry the millennial parents crying over this show on tiktok may be overselling it.

[olivesjaw]

[ink-going-insane]

i'm doing a fun activity of rewatching minecraft diaries and writing down parts of the story that either make me uncomfortable or are just not fitting for the story in my opinion

i'll be putting my findings under a read more, but here! have this out of context note from the last episide i've seen of season 2 as of now lol

it is with a heavy heart that i have to say that Man my younger self Really romanticized this series; the amount of times i've had to pause to calm down cuz i was cringing or just genuinely upset is astonishing. not to say i hate it!!! i actually love this series so much it hurts but i'm also the type of person to bully media i enjoy, especially when it has the kinda things this series has.

it's even funnier cuz i remember almost nothing from back when i first watched it like...6-8 years ago? i think? i believe i started watching mcd specifically when mystreet season 2 or 3 was going on (started watching ms when season 1 of it just ended iirc) and my memory got really bad after a certain global event so that happened. but anyway it's like i'm watching most of it for the first time and i'm genuinely having fun!

anyway if anyone reads this, i was wondering what others think of the series! including the...scenes that are Not Good. i know it's not just me since an irl friend of mine feels the same way as me but i still wanna hear other people's opinions lol

i'll probably post something again when i actually finish what there is of mcd as of now (since season 3 got discontinued but i'm delusional and still hoping for aphmau to finish the series like how she's doing with ms season 7) so yea!!! ramble's over -w-

[castielsprostate]

for everyone concerned about my eyes: ALL TESTS CAME BACK GOOD!!!!! i have good peripheral vision, my eye pressure is good, my eyeballs look good, there's nothing to indicate anything wrong with my eyes (except for the -1.5 prescription but i already had that)

waiting for the appt at the TNE dr on the 26th, and getting an appt for neurology for the incessant headaches!! let's just hope it's this stupid fucking flu and nothing bad!! 🍀

[beastsovrevelation]

I had another Good Omens fanfiction dream this morning.

Basically, Crowley was due to give birth. You might ask, Pestilence, what's with you and Crowley being pregnant?.. The answer is, I don't know, and neither does my therapist.

So, Crowley's due to give birth, he's scared and in pain. Beelzebub shows up, along with a few other demons (I guess I'll look through the Key of Solomon, I remember a few have to do with healing). She told him they'll support him. I have a feeling, the dream adhered to my idea that Crowley and Beelzebub are siblings (in spite Beelzebub looking like she does in S2, so Indian).

Crowley had to change to his snake form, because while his human form was male (so he couldn't give birth without surgery, which was too dangerous), his snake form was female. The demons put him in a whelping box (genius idea). Crowley gave birth to either 4 or 6 baby snakes (apparently, they're called snakelets). It was a live birth, which, fun fact, some snakes do give (i think boa constrictors, and snake Crowley kind of looks like one, aside from the colouring). The baby snakes then morphed to human form. I don't think Crowley nearly died, but he lost a lot of blood, and got extremely exhausted. No, it probably wasn't realistic to how snakes actually give birth.

(They were far larger, though)

Oh, and at some point, Aziraphale found out, but someone (possibly Beelzebub) forbade him from coming, because an angel's presence would distress the babies, and they wouldn't take human form. They could also die.

No, I don't think Aziraphale was the "father". The babies were demons, while, according to my headcanons, when an angel procreates with a demon, the baby's an angel, as it's the original form (though, they do retain some demonic features). Maybe, Crowley mated with an actual snake, or something... It would be very Greek and Norse god of him, but what the Heaven, dude... I guess, Beelzebub could act as the litter's she-father, once the two had reconciled. Which, is a word I use for maternal figures who, traditionally, would be considered more paternal. You know, kind of emotionally detached, more provider than carer, often absent, that sort of deal.

This is incoherent, but I only remember fragments. I guess, I will put it down in my notes for the future. I already did. (I'm kind of tempted to write the birth scene, I like writing birth scenes, they're brutal).

Don't you just have a love/hate relationship with when you are already swamped with WIPs, but the Fanfiction Gods send you another vision?..

Also, don't you just hate it when you give birth to a litter of snakelets, with the help of your coworkers, and your estranged sister.

What the Hell do you even name that many damn whelps...

[emblazons]

I would personally like to thank all the gen x and elder millennials who allowed me to be the “kid” in all of my favorite fandom spaces 15+ years ago because lord knows if I was anything like the youth in some of my newer fandoms I should have been blocked by at least 2/3 of my faves

[gayverlyearp]

“If Julie is not already dead—if she is not already dead she is counting on me. She is calling me, whispering my name to herself in the dark.”

oh. i’m flinging myself into the sun why am i choosing this again. i have to finish this reread today. code name verity you rip my heart out every time.

[knightmusic]

relatable

[letz-smoke-zaza]

when it gets so hard the only way to escape my imprisoning thoughts would be to disappear and start a new life in an unknown country somewhere on another planet.

18/06/2024 - 03:03

[hecckyeah]

also my one defining personality trait is maintaining that Mia and Andrew should have gotten married in princess diaries 2

[laurmaus]

another one +uncolored ver (can u tell i skipped school today