#Dialogue is so hard but i do have fun trying to figure out how realistic it sounds. Like would a person actually say this out loud

[misspickman]

hand on my stupid heart for the DVD commentary? or anything you'd like to share if that one's too far back!

Ahh its one of my favorites! I was and still am pretty proud of that one, i think i managed to encompass a lot about kon that makes him such an interesting character to me, and it ended up feeling cohesive which is p high on my writing priorities list. Its hard. Its also got a lot of ma and kon which is an extremely underrated dynamic imo, since people love to make up stories about kons 'dads' instead of engaging with his relationship with ma at all. Superboy 2011 you will always be famous theyre family!!

The part about the dead girl in the river was inspired by a very similar story my grandparents told me about and well its scary and i kept thinking about it. Something about the hopelessness of a situation where the best outcome is simply finding a dead body felt like it would speak to kons sense of duty and feelings of failure a fair amount. I was afraid it would end up feeling too pretentious but i like how it came out in the end, i had a great time writing it and it flows well. That + all other smallvile scenes are also important to show kons life in smallvile, how he fits in outside of superhero work and how people see conner kent; a big deal considering how important Image is to kons character

There was also a challenge i liked to give myself when writing dc fics, specifically kon centric fics, which was not to have timkon in it, because the majority of fics in kons tag are tim centric timkons, so they're here in this fic as best friends but i avoided any timkon hints even tho i do enjoy them a lot

The title is from meditations in an emergency which is one of my favorites poems and a very kon poem, to me

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Ateez Dynamics (Jongho Perspective)

We are now at the final member of this group's dynamics. It has been a fun ride. I will definitely try to revisit this again next year. But we end with my bias for now. They had some interesting things to say about him, let's see what he has to say.

Hongjoong (The Lustful/Page of Wands) Ya'll I ain't playing. The Lustful card came flying out! Now we know Jongho got this card a lot, and if I remember correctly, Hongjoong also gave him this card, but don't fully remember, anyway, I see them saying a lot of dirty and taboo things together lol Dirty minds here when they are around each other. These two are not afraid to embrace and talk about their sexuality. They seem pretty open to the conversation, which is not bad. They are both very curious and maybe want to explore new things and places together. I see them both wanting to try new experiences together.

Seonghwa (The Actor/7 of Pentacles) They both seems to be good at playing the part, maybe as idol. They both know how to act in certain situations. They know how to be reserved when need be. I think Jongho may learn this from Seonghwa. There is a calmness and patience to him that he may want to emulate and learn from him. There bond seems chill, maybe a bit stagnant at the moment. It is also pretty slow growing. They also both know the value of hard work as well. Not much craziness here, pretty chill, but not getting too much closeness from these cards.

Yunho (The Future/Queen of Pentacles) Yunho may be a strong caring figure in his life. Someone very giving and nurturing. He may give him advice about money and future planning. He seems like a solid and stable figure in his life. I mean Jongho can be the same for him as well. They seem to support and give to each other. There is a sense of independence they both have. They both seem pretty practical and realistic. I don't know if they both plan things together or help each other plan for the future. If they share what they plan to do with their career in the future. I can see these depending on each other for things, or Jongho depends on him for security and dependability. They both also value their career and themselves. I see Yunho being a very grounding figure in his life.

Yeosang (The Warrior/4 of Wands) There is a toughness and strength these two have. I don't know if they may clash at times. There is a strong and stubborn energy he sees in Yeosang. A toughness of will that will achieve anything he wants. He may also have this energy. He may really like this about Yeosang. He fights for what he wants. I can see Jongho being that way too, so there could be clashing with them. But with the 4 of Wands there energy together is pretty stable and happy. I see them both doing whatever it takes, if that means fight or confront things to achieve what makes them happy. They seem to relate on this level. It seems when they are together things are great. These two have fun and there are good vibes there. It seems they enjoy the company of one another. It is like they find comfort in each other.

San (The Independent/Queen of Swords) They are both kind of independent. I don't see these two depending on another that much. He may San as a good listener and a smart individual. Someone who is open-minded and willing to listen to what he has to say with no judgment. And it could be vice versa. There seems to be open dialogue and conversations with them from time to time. But I don't see them as very close. I see him gaining a lot of knowledge from San, maybe they talk about things of the mind or intellectual things. If he wants to see things from a logical point of view, he may refer to San and maybe San does the same. Although, they may not be super tight. There is a respect here.

Mingi (The Farmer/3 of Swords) Well there was some hurt and frustration here, someone got hurt, someone may have said something hurtful to the other. Was it them in Mingi's reading where I got some aggressive energy? I wish I remembered. I try not to look back on readings to be as unbiased as possible. The quote on the farmer card is, 'I enjoy being of service of those who deserve it,' Kind of speaks volumes' for me, like he doesn't want to help him or fu** with him at the moment. He will give to those who he feels deserves it. I wonder if they got into a disagreement about doing something for another. Like did Mingi ask him for something and that triggered him somehow. This one is kind of confusing, not trying to sit on this for too long. But they aren't in the best place at the moment.

Wooyoung (The Teacher/Knight of Pentacles) I say Wooyoung teaches him a lot about life and how to move through it. There is a persistence and diligence Wooyoung has that he admires and wants to follow. It is like he watches what he does and wants to follow it. There is a lot of knowledge and wisdom Wooyoung has. He may give Jongho a lot of advice about things in life and he takes that at face value. It is like he wants to follow his steps. This is interesting because I believe Wooyoung also wanted to learn from Jongho as well. This dynamic surprises me. I didn't expect this. It is like they both learn a lot from each other. There are like aspects of Wooyoung that Jongho would like and vice versa. He sees Wooyoung as grounded individual who stays the course and stays focus on what he wants to do, and he may want to learn to stay consistent and focused on his goals. Jongho may struggle to do this on his own.

This was interesting once again, surprised by Mingi and Wooyoung's dynamics. This was a fun series that I would love to revisit again like I said. But as of now I will conclude with my Ateez series. Hope you enjoyed it.

[megamindsecretlair]

Heyy love.

Random ask because I'm writing and I'm a little stuck. How do you get your characters to have full conversation without writing a lot of dialogue, especially for dialogue heavey fanfics.

I feel like what I'm currently writing has a lot of talking going on between characters, and I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Helloo, my love. I feel so honored you're asking me 🥹 I'm gonna make this an official writing tip in case others wanna see too. Next one is masterlist, promise ☺️

Writing Tip #5

There's nothing inherently wrong with a dialogue heavy fic. Characters gotta talk to each other lol. But there is an art to crafting dialogue that sounds realistic and progresses the story along. I'd be here all day if I went into every nuance, but start paying attention to dialogue in movies and shows. There's usually not a lot of "um or uh" or run on sentences.

There are common pitfalls in writing that I've done myself or I've noticed others do. So more under the cut! ☺️

Move your characters around:

Oftentimes, a fic may be falling flat because the characters are standing in one spot or sitting in one spot for the duration of the scene.

You'd be hard pressed to find a single person alive (unimpaired) who doesn't move at least 15 times per minute. And what's great about getting your characters up and moving is that it beats White Room Syndrome (characters could be standing in a white room for all they interact with their environment), it reveals personality, (is your character the type to fidget or poke or prod), and it reveals inner thoughts without having to launch into a giant paragraph about it.

How a character interacts with their environment can reveal so much more than a line of dialogue can. Is your character the type to talk with their hands? Or do they have a tic? You can add that as well to show nervousness without a character saying, "I'm nervous".

Say less:

No one says everything on their mind all the time. It took me a long time to figure this one out for myself. It is *so* tempting to make the characters reveal everything all the time. Everything they're feeling, everything they're thinking, or slip in exposition. But think about real life.

Do you say everything you're thinking? If you're like me, then no. Because the intrusive thots I be having 🥲 it's important those stay with meee 🤣

But same thing applies to your characters. Sometimes, less is more. You can get your point across without having your characters compete in back to back speeches like they're in a casual debate match. This also leads to more fun because you can have a completely oblivious character against one who overanalyzes.

Or you can have a character bite their tongue, hold on to all this resentment, and end up blowing up at someone, which leads to delicious conflict.

The point is that not everything has to be explicitly stated. If someone is in a mood, you don't have to have someone else comment on it. Character A can storm into the house, slamming doors, stomping feet, and cursing under their breath. Character B, who is madly in love and understands their partner, can just make them some tea or run them a bath. No dialogue needed. The familiarity lies within what's not said.

What is your dialogue serving?

As mentioned above, it's easy to want to reveal everything between characters but that's not always realistic.

When you're approaching dialogue, you want to think in terms of these are actors on a stage. They are moving around, they are interacting, and they are communicating but *why* are they communicating?

It doesn't have to be anything life or death. It could be as simple as a therapist asking his patient questions. Or a dom trying to get his sub to listen. Every scene or dialogue is serving a function.

In romance, its often to win the affections of their beloved. The characters are trying to find their way to each other but keep getting bogged down in trauma, fears, hangups, etc.

Understand what you're trying to achieve with your dialogue, think beyond "this character is speaking" and think more like "why are they saying this particular sentence".

But idk, I'm not an expert. I hope this helped? Hope this made sense? Feel free to ask more? Sorry this was so long 🥹 but try it and see if it works for you.

And for peeks behind my process or tips, visit Behind The Megadome

[arminsumi]

Hi my angel 😘😘 do you have any writing tips when it comes to plot and description and dialogue?

Becuz I have read so many of your works and each time I’m blown away with how much amazingness your writing has!! You’ve inspired me to write stories so I just figured I would ask you writings tips 🙂‍↕️ hope you have a amazing day lovey

aaa thank u sososo much?? i can't believe i've inspired u to write that's so cool... 💗🙈

i'm really not too good at writing or explaining but here's how i approach these things... i hope it's helpful!! 😗✌️

here is a resource that might help;

helpfulprofessor.com on writing skills and text types and tropes

and here is kerouac's advice to writers which i cling to.

plot ✨

i base a lot of things on real-life 👀 ...of course i turn it into fiction and i'm not writing autobiographical form on tumblr... lol.

i just mean some stories are inspired by real life experiences. personal experiences are very rich and the plot will shape nicely.

this year i've turned lots of experiences into stories, of course i totally romanticized them bc that's kinda what we writer's do ig since real-life is not poetic, it's just kind of a mess lol

also asking second opinions and sometimes even stranger's opinions can help clarify plot points that aren't adding up.

try to outline plots or they can become a messy web. you don't need to plan it out neatly, you just need some sort of guideline for yourself so that you don't go off the rails or forget what your purpose for writing is lol (i still do that sometimes bc i am extremely lazy and don't plan things very often bc... spontaneous writing is more fun)

description ✨

honestly just say it how it is bc descriptions that come from a true place will feel true if that makes sense??

lots of times i find myself deleting descriptions bc i worry that the reader is getting bored bc i can get pretty wordy. using too many adjectives is generally something i try to avoid unless it's working well — literary devices are worth learning about.

but if you feel like your descriptions are boring or too long-winded then i'd suggest employing alliteration or other literary devices (like metaphors) that produce rhythmic effects on readers. imo the beats of alliteration make it fun to read stuff word by word, i just rlly go to town on it bc i love it hehehe 🌷 anything with repetition really

keeping it short can be fun too. ik it's hard to find specific words but try talking to people or reading lots of different types of literature to get the juices flowing. sometimes a good conversation can spark my imagination because someone has used very specific words. i'd say reading classics is really good for helping vocabulary but also be wary of dated words lol.

dialogue ✨

you could read this or watch this

i've gotten into the habit of analyzing the way people speak whenever i'm talking to them, even if it's just brief conversations.

the reason this helps with writing dialogue is because you start to understand how conversations actually flow, how people actually respond — it can help to make dialogue between characters more fluid and realistic and then in turn this makes it more believable for the reader. i like to observe what vocal inflexions people use and try translate it for myself as a speech tag.

idk i just sort of go about life with the attitude of like "how do i describe that with words" kind of like exercising your drawing skills by drawing anything you see day-to-day.

also i just want to say that it's not necessary to be talkative and extroverted bc you can also just like... gather this stuff from tv shows and literature and other forms of media too. i just yap a lot irl so it's my main mode of analyzing speech and stuff.

smth i'm just recently learning to employ more often in dialogue is implying responses from other characters.

so like character A says something, they're currently speaking to character B, and instead of switching to character B and writing a whole new line break for new dialogue, i just kinda wedge in a reaction into character A's dialogue like;

Character A: "nice weather we're having, huh? yeah, i know. i also like penguins."

ok this is like goofy and nonsensical, but it's just an example. so from the above text, you can gather that character B likes penguins without even needing to write their dialogue "i like penguins."

it's kinda neat and adds more diversity.

anyways ✨

i would highly encourage anyone to spend time learning how form, structure and language are used together in a text (literary analysis skills) bc even tho text analysis may seem boring and hard to learn, it will help with your writing and then u can do cool stuff 🍰

[daisyachain]

Blame vol 1-6:

Fractal levels of detail in the setting. Each panel has nuts and bolts showing within metal panels within concrete structures. Can’t imagine the time it would have taken to render each page like that consistency, without the simplification that comic artists tend to incorporate over time

The disconnect between the realistic backgrounds and the B-grade depiction of humans in a lot of the early chapters isn’t even a drawback. The spindly, long-limbed creatures look unnatural. They’re nonnative to the environment where the silicon creatures fit in better.

No matter how mad good the quality of the illustrations are in terms of worldbuilding implied, the action is consistently hard to follow. By devoting the same attention to every rung of every utility ladder along with the major structures, the art doesn’t draw the eye to any particular spot on the page. You’re left to make something of the rebar vistas presented rather than being given a clear depiction of the events happening. Can be fun, mostly just makes me wish I had more time to spend on appreciating the art rather than trying to figure out which tiny black-clad frame is plummeting across the panel this time

Kind of a chore to read before Cibo shows up. Killy’s a fun guy, but it’s hard to get a sense of direction for the plot without any dialogue and with the aforementioned parsing problems

Speaking of Cibo, there are surprisingly solid character dynamics that I wouldn’t expect from this kind of a high concept manga.

Cibo fits the hero role better than the well-intentioned but silent Killy. Remains to be seen whether she keeps it, but it’s been a real treat watching her play the plucky adventurer, the last-minute rescue, the chief negotiator, having an actual impact on the plot. Can’t believe women are humans too. I keep thinking we’re about to have a moment where her fragile female emotions cause her to make a misstep and get bailed out by Killy and it hasn’t happened even once. So far.

Mensab and Seu’s thing is a lot more cliche of a lady-knight dynamic and it still worked. Because it’s a good manga. You do feel for Mensab’s loss when her only companion gets wiped constantly. You do feel for Seu’s helplessness when he can understand she’s bummed and knows it’s beyond him to understand why.

Electrofishers are fun! I like that some of them survive (:

The Toha Heavy Industries feels like the first point where an exercise turns into an actual narrative. Now that it’s over, I’m excited to see where we go……..

[rigelmejo]

Little things I did recently:

Listened to 20 minutes of Silent Reading chapter 1 audiobook, twice. Understood more the 2nd time around. But I'm relying on remembering the plot to follow the description heavy portions. The dialogue portions I can follow almost all details, so they help me identify which scene I'm listening to. Exciting and humbling. Exciting because I CAN mostly follow the audio Drama now (i listened to a bit last week) whereas in the past I was lost with nl descriptions to orient me and limited comprehension of comversations. But humbling, in listening to the audio BOOK now, because back when I was reading modu as chinese practice I was Very Familiar with the descriptive words and the descriptive paragraphs were how I guessed what scene I was listening to (compared to chinese chapters I'd already read before and looked the words up). Where now, the descriptive words have faded from my mind, and are the harder parts to grasp the meaning of now. I think that...overall, my chinese listening is Better now than it was 6 months ago. But I can tell that the reading-only vocabulary I've picked up is much rustier in my memory, and much harder for me to recognize in listening with no hanzi to look at for reference.

Read 5 panels (chapters) of 19天. Ended up looking up 聚会 because I couldnt remember the "gather" hanzi was pronounced ju. For some reason I kept thinking it was zi like purple 紫. But no, it was ju, for gather: 聚集 gather (juji), 聚会 (juhui) reunion. Again, I recommend that manhua if you like funny, physical comedy, slice of life. It's fun, and even if you can't read something then the pictures have a lot of the comedy anyway.

Watched 40 minutes of qi hun (hikaru no go cdrama adaptation) in only chinese. NO subtitles. First time I tried watching a show with zero subtitles including no chinese subs. I've been listening to audioboks with no text recently though, so I guess I felt I might as well try a show with no subtitles. Hikaru no go is on iqiyi youtube free (still free thank goodness), and iqiyi is one of the channels that has no hard chinese subs - you can turn on english or chinese subs, but they arent pre-made on the video. It was really cool to try! 1. I understood almost every detail! I got lost when Chu Ying said some "sayings" to kid Shi Guang, and when Chu Ying explained playing go I only understood him saying the size of the board/placement number choices, I was confused about the rest of the explanation.

I didn't understand a few lines kid Shi Guang said, but he's speaking like a kid muffled and quick during those lines and I got the gist. It was really exciting just being able to WATCH the scenes, my focus not half torn on the subs. To actually hear how the lines are said, without translation changes. Some words I could guess from context like xia qi 下棋 for play go, since Chu Ying keeps saying 我想下棋。 and shi guang keeps saying to stop crying ToT. But I do think I could have guessed the parts I didnt grasp, like Chu Yings "sayings" if Id had the chinese subtitles on and saw the hanzi to help myself figure out what he meant. So I may rewatch the episode with chinese subs. But since this summer is about improving LISTENING COMPREHENSION, I am just pretty exciting it went so well. Also the show is just so comforting. Id totally forgotten Shi Guang's little intro where he explains what the show/journey will be about!

I wonder if they dubbed the show? I assume they dubbed it, probably, since most cdramas do. But kid shi guang and the other kids talk pretty natural sounding (not like trying to sound "acting" if that makes sense, with clear projected enough voices), which reminds me of To Dear Myself with zhu yilong which either used audio filmed During Scenes or instructed the actors to dub themselves speaking more realistically (i dont remember which, that show just had a Very realisticly visual audio and acting feel). Adult shi guang also has a very natural sound to how he speaks, like the sound of his voice we hear is how he would sound if talking to regular close friends.

In Japanese Glossika app, I've studied 1129 sentences, done 9137 reps (repetitions of sentences), and studied 24:39 hours. Glossika labels me in High A1 14.7%. While I've still got some significant complaints about the new glossika app japanese course, my stubbornness to complete all the fucking sentences and judge for myself how good/bad it is has definitely Motivated me to Study japanese more. I've studied those 24 hours in the past 3 weeks, so a little over 1 hour a day of studying on average. Thats way more than the ZERO time per week I was spending on japanese, and its audio so I've been able to do it with my regular life schedule.

(Truly glossikas Only Unique benefit to me is the listening mode, so I can press play and it gives me new sentences and reviews at time intervals it schedules on its own, so i do not have to put any effort into figuring out what to do next or take time away from other activities to constantly click my screen for an hour... i can just click play new, or click play review, and continue on with my life knowing I'm learning some new stuff and reviewing things i need to. If anything else fucking had this feature id jump to it instead. Clozemaster Kind of had this feature - and i paid for a while just for it - but clozemaster's Radio mode did not split new from reviews and did not spaced repetition schedule the reviews so there were a LOT of days i wouldnt hear new sentences or id review the same 300 sentences instead of different ones out of the 2000+ i had studied).

I am curious if the Chinese Glossika app course is better? I know the old cd chinese course was fairly good, as learner reviews mentioned some alternately worded things but nothing worded Wrongly. So if the new chinese app course, please please please, just used ANY of their people on staff who know chinese (like the maker of it) to human translate, then their chinese app course should be one of the app courses with the LEAST errors. Since its a language they, presumably, have the most access to human translators for. And im curious if therefore i could study using it. Or vice versa, if the new chinese app course is trash id like to review how fucking far their quality has tanked. I recognize more chinese than japanese, and i'd be able to tell within 500 sentences roughly what the error rate is in the chinese app course.

[theblueflower05]

Hey babes, i have a question for you, and for any other writer. You say you struggle with characterisation, which i think a lot of people do. I really do too.

Now when it comes to dialogue, do you find it easier to plan out dialogue between characters? Or just go with the flow and fix up later?

When i read fics too, i also think to myself; Now is that what the author wanted the character to do or say? Or is that what the character wanted to do or say? If that makes sense?

When I write speech between characters, I want it to be meaningful, have some depth and emotion, but that's just me. Its a whole lotta work when you got their actions too 🫡.

And it's so true, movies and shows would be such good help for characterisation. If you know other characters that have similar personalities as the one you are writing about, thats a good place to start. Especially when you wanna try and solidify how you want them to be, and have their essence written down to a T.

Its a lotta fuckin work to be a writer, and I think the Avatar fandom has really challenged our skills and imagination.

Anyways sorry if this is a lot i think you're a smart lass, also u a daydreamer like me 🤪 i cant help my daydreaming thoughts. Plus i love your writing style and thank you for it 🫶

This. All of this.

For one, thank you for sending me this ask. I love having these kinds of convos- especially with other writers because I just wanna pick all of your brains.

I 100% go with the flow when it comes to dialogue- I will do at least two drafts before I end up posting so the first draft is literally word vomit and then I spend a lot of time cleaning it up and making it semi presentable lol

Having characters speak to eachother in a way that feels meaningful but also like realistic? Is the hardest fucking thing about writing. IMO.

Like it’s this balance between finding each characters tone but then also figuring out their relationship dynamic. And that shit is not easy(for some it is and I wanna let you know if it’s easy for you you’re blessed and I hate you lol)

Especially for fanfic- movies and tv shows are the way to GO when it comes to gaining inspo. If I’m writing a fic for a specific fandom I’ll watch a bunch of movies and shows that like remind me of said fandom while I write. It helps like crazy.

I’m also big on drawing inspiration from fellow writers because they are beautiful and brilliant and will make you want to fine tune your own craft.

With that being said this plagiarism shit that’s running rampant lately needs to stop- seriously. Be decent. It’s not that hard.

Writing for Avatar has challenged me in a way that’s both the funnest thing ever- but also makes me wanna punch a wall sometimes.

Like seriously Jimmy Cam, how you make a world that’s SO full but that also has so many unanswered questions and details? Fuck.

Day dreamers uniteeee, I hope to get more asks from you in the future because this was so much fun to eat and think about. I’m endlessly happy that people get some joy out of reading my fics💘💘💘💘💘

Ps. I fall a little bit in love with anons who send me long asks like this. Omg. I’m blushinnnnn

[gingerbreadmonsters]

hiya! im a very big fan of ur fics, ur writing is like omnomnom!! i rerereread them so often ive basically memorised half of them (especially get in loser i love it so much especially the little almost asides freelancer has like certain moments where its like not quite breaking the fourth wall theyre like. brushing it with the tips of their fingers). IDK sorry to ramble but; may i request directors commentary on either kingdom come (why those four, of all people?) or one more paradox (incoherent wailing, from me). thanks!! have a nice timezone :]

im so sorry. IM SO SORRY ITS SO LATE 🫠🫠 i have not been well for a little while and i've been rushing around trying to get shit sorted for the start of term, so it's all just been a bit of a mess

i've done kingdom come for you - i do hope that's alright! and a lovely timezone to you, too 💕💕

why those four? to be totally honest, it’s just because they’re hot lol 🤩🤩 it is a long-held hc for me that gavin and vincent deserve to be besties, and the gn gals and i were chatting on discord about fl, gavin, lovely, and vincent going on a double date and all being so handsy with each other that it was impossible to tell who was actually going out with who?? so i just kind of jumped into a new google doc and mocked up a very short sequence based on that conversation, which ended up being used basically verbatim as the opening to kingdom come - it’s up to the bit where freelancer says “I think you can manage that, can’t you?”!

can’t lie, it was both more and less difficult than i expected? it was hard because obviously i couldn’t really describe freelancer or lovely’s bodies in detail - it’s hard enough with just one listener in the scene! plus, keeping track of four different people in something as descriptive and physical as a sex scene is always a nightmare. you have to keep track of (and describe!) what everyone is doing all at the same time without getting too repetitive, make sure that it’s clear who is doing/saying what (very complicated when two of them use he/him and have the same, uh, hardware, while the other two are in they/them and can’t have their bodies described basically at all), make sure that the positions you’re describing are physically possible and actually sexy… it’s a lot!

gavin and vincent are so fun to write, though, so that more than made up for it - both of them just seem to… talk? like, if any other fic writers are reading this, please do let me know if this also happens to you - but whenever i write them, they just spout dialogue like it’s going out of fashion, and i end up just being dragged along through the scene however they want, rather than how i planned it 😭😭 so yes it was tough, but a lot of fun to write - although i will say that there was a rather embarrassing incident regarding the dialogue [head in hands]

so, in order to make sure that my dialogue sounds at least faintly realistic and isn’t too stilted, i generally tend to read it out loud to myself? like, verbatim? hearing it in my own voice helps to figure out if it sounds too unnatural, which i am aware is also why sometimes my characters will say something that’s a bit too british for the source material, but whatever. 

the important part is that i was living in halls (student accommodation) when i was writing this fic, and the soundproofing on my door was… not excellent?? i had just finished ‘dialogue testing’ and opened the door to go and get a drink of water from the kitchen, when i ran face-first into one of my flatmates from the bedroom opposite mine, who had clearly been standing there waiting for a friend and had obviously just HEARD ME saying all of this… needless to say he did not make eye contact with me for some time after that and we do not keep in touch lmao 

all four of them make reference to the events of this fic being one of many, um, dalliances - this is really just because i think it sounds like the sort of thing they would do! they all seem like they would be good friends - you already know how i feel about gavin and vincent, and i reckon lovely and freelancer would get on like a house on fire. let them have a rapport! let them go on cute double dates and take holidays together and plan surprise parties for each other! this is my agenda! the whole vibe of this fic was intended to be satisfyingly filthy yet still very very sweet, and i think it works? i certainly hope it works? it is a CRIME that we have yet to have a canon audio with gavin and vincent together :((

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.13.2022

tags: noncon, piv, dirty talking

notes: rereading this, i feel as though it's uniquely gormless, and has out-of-date headcanons as we were so early into imbibing JSHK... well, nevertheless. happy reading.

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ / sometimes, I color text to delineate dialogue a little more

あ：my PP concept is also noncon.. but like oh you know, trying to gaslight her throughout it… the most deranged and like cowardly way to do it all. trying to clip her and get her to call you amane during it also bc you has problems

つ：SAY THE CORRECT NAME!!!

あ：it feels like itd be sooo. [wearing clown make up] to be trying to wrestle nene into saying this… idk it feels like it could get so pathetic… like.. [shakes]… say it.. つ：i like the flavor of impatient hanako… and getting to live int he psyche of guy who wants you and is NOT HANAKO FORGET THE OTHER GUY

あ：this guy actually has a shot [defensive of made up narrative] he's been your classmate for a while you two have good chemistry you. YOU LIKE HIM!! he likes you. it'sss… this was being built up to. you want this

つ：and on another psychological level…. wanting to be called amane during sex, in general is something

あ：uhuh. a real [looks at camera] moment for . the tsukasa watching this ig

つ：its so interesting how PP works. the guy who has been actively hiding everything from you suddenly wants an earnest roleplay right before he disappears ill write the authors notes andits IC as tsukasa like WHOA i didun tink this would happen!!!! AMANEEEEE

あ：i guess i really offered you something you wanted….

つ：wow i made him so happy!

あ：a way for you to let nene meet "amane" !!! hehehe…. well… isn't she lucky….

つ：its taking all of his fibers of resistance to not run into the room the omake version which just has tsukasa barelling in

あ：yes. fkdgjfh… he is yelling amane it's like [HONK]

つ：that IIIIIIIII noise he makes BREATHING SO HEAVILY INTO YOUR EAR IMMEDIATELY

there simply the insane sex world version where tsukasa fluidly joins in. its so hard to not imagine hanako just like SHOVING HIM LIKE A TODDLER NYO!!!! TSUKASA!!!!

あ：NOT RIGHT NOW NOT WHEN I'M GETTING IT OUT [holding nene by the throat] i figure though it has this umm.. hm.. it definitely has this vibe of someone trying to start a romantic cutscene but just getting impatient and not letting you leave…

つ：i do think it starts out so ah… scripted, feeling so incredibly…. stilted…. has ''phases'', and even though nene doesn't technically jump the hoops, he moves onto the next one anyway…

あ：he's mentally got flashcards. is waiting for the one that lets him put hand on knee

you could imagine it is as simple though as hearing nene mention needing to check in with kou or something for him to be like [unchill] NO.

つ：just a minute. please. just a few minutes. stay. let me. say. what i . need to

あ：[uncontrollably guilt tripping] youve been blowing me off all day…

つ：[soft indiscernible click in the near distance] [tsukasa is locking the door for them]

あ：your guy… mmm a good detail though

つ：i will not ruin the inciting action from your game.

あ：its just one of those "there's no bad options!" things for tsukasa bc nene could like flip out and attempt to kill amane. whatever happens baby…

hm but crazy sex world where he joins is fun it's like mm a taste of butter…. wingmans this. but then also is like hiiiiiiiii ~ enjoying my playhouse for you…. huggles you

つ：i do want to to live in the less realistic porno world where amane simply is like ok. keeps going. so this is how it will be. if thats how god wants it

あ：i am already playing into this fake world selfishly. i can't act like. it would be that much better if i shoved him off.

つ：lets you hug her. nene is liek KDFL;SJFKL;GSG?? but Amane's like shhh…. shhhh. its okay…… just tsukasa nuzzling her head, hair, so pleasant….

あ：i do love the thought of nene having to be like. not only experiencing being cornered and pressured and stuff but the brother is here too. manifesting. what the- what does that…

ouhmm its like i wish the changing room scene went different lol… and devolves into this… so its a nene who was already trying to have theories about tsukasa like "he… want.. revenge…??" but instead he's like smelling your neck. help!

just here to support… happy to be here… ^^ ready to help get everything in place

つ：there are different flavors to different points of the timeline…. if its before any suggestion of 'how to get out of here' its so… disorienting in a DIFFERENT way thats like. amane is a complete loon trying to do this right out the gate. but later has the flavor of becoming like. nnno my time, running, out knowing tsukasa is 'real' or not is an element

あ：i go back and forth, initially i was thinking about this like, fuck the movie tickets… i am insane

but i do like the state of things at the point of when she's changing before star gazing… it being like right before stargazing. its rly a different loss of willpower

a very early run i'd almost want to be so early she hasnt even recon'd with kou or seen the world have kooky aspects… is juust in the "??????????" stage of trying to determine what is happening. like she's just been pouring salt on amane and feels bad about that

the gaslighting has more of a chance to take proper purchase in that case. like she IS just doubting herself and feels like the only one insisting on her previous reality

つ：unsure if this is some kind of dream really, that early on…. later is, scary, ominous

tsukasa is going to stroke Amane's face and say…. it's a good world, isn't it…. its really nice…. you like it, right…. just pleased, confirming… a slammin it hanako can only nod and huff thru nose

あ：it's nice like this…. we can be together❤️ admittedly this has to be a tsukasa that just feels like he really won, i mean his trap is just a success, amane is partaking of the fruit perhaps liberated enough to tease like. did you miss me… i'm glad we can spend some time together

つ：i'm do good with wishie

あ：you look amazing… wow [watching him hit it]

つ：[openly breathing heavy, not ashamed] Nene-chan…. you like it too, don't you..? it feels good… [spreading her pussy for Amane to hit deeper with less drag, which makes Hanako, twitch on instinct like DDDDONT GET NEAR MY. DONT YOU]

あ：snarling…. but tsukasa delights to observe like ohhmm… there's my special guy

つ：[whispering to nene] he makes that face when he really likes something

あ：[grabs her chin and tilts her head] everyone make sure we are looking and pay close attention okay ^q^

つ：you can never forget a first time [activate… amane] nn. never forget it. [HURTING]

あ：ohmm for amane to have really shot himself in the foot by forcing nene to call him amane-kun during this… if she is whimpering it.. doesn't that feel like it'd make tsukasa a little bit like [LOOKS.][fervid] we are matchies!!! asfdghfdg!!!!!! oh its like.. tsukasa likes to hear his name so much… it might feel magical to get to hear someone else beg it… ohgh you love his trapdoor mouth honestly

つ：I do like Nene ah... becoming subservient, after only a few good swings. i think she's gone

in this circumstance, its just like ss ? sssex x? uhhghmn… [hanako urging her…. to say amane-kun] ohu I, shoul, d do wh, what he saysz [dizzy] c, cant be rude…. Amm… Amn, Amanneee-kun…..

あ：[blearily] that..s. s… right htats … thats his 'real name'…. [brain tabbing through visions of him as a battered boy, 13…]

つ：[which look, aesthetically, more like this boy…] [in these clothes, his skinny arms sticking out, looking younger than ever..]

あ：[boy she saw on the floor crying…] fuzzily in her brain

its like ahrg… amane… kuun… ok ahy.g..fhg this is like. your ex shows up and youve taught your new meat to call you your old pet name. and your ex gets to just watch this [tsukasa joins in saying name like the girls in midsommar] [panting] How long do you want her like this, Amane… You know there's nothing stopping you, it's whatever you'd like the world can be for you…

つ：hanako feeling like I. deserve to be mentally broken. its fine. okay. before i go.

あ：if that's. how this is going to. pan out.

つ：ne, ne….. nene-chan…. this world is whatever the 'main characters' of it want. Doesn't it feel good… to be what Amane wants? He can do anything… and he wanted to do something, with you! something new….. that he's never done before.

N. NEVER BEFORE ?! v. virgin??????

あ：owned outed oh but its moments like these i really feel like [amane. UNCONTROLLABLY picks up pace fuckign jackhammers for a sec]

つ：ffffuc k like a grown boy

あ：its llike fffjhghhfj. goes into his blood

つ：I WILL IMPRESS

あ：[a braincell that is just like slobbering] thats RIGHT i havent fucekd before i wannaf fffffffffuck hard WATCH ME FUCK

つ：during onslaught it is legitimately tsukasa keeping her from, toppling, she has to grasp something and instinctively grasps his arms

あ：it helps to have a whole body to assist in cradling weight

つ：AMANE AMANEEE!!! [stoked by tsukasa's shouting] amaaanee-kuunnnn [stokedby nene's chanting] A-ma-neeee, aaa [stoked by Tsukasa] Amane-kunnnn

あ：the derangedness forced. to come.

つ：why doesit sound like i am fucking them both

あ：oh you get to watch his eyes really roll back into his head… I THINK IT JUST MAKES HIM DIZZY

つ：WORSHIP MEEE

あ：like mgh. fhgf.f fghf. s-sex fuck..f ujghf..gfh.. FUCK!! yes i fuck good god yes

つ：i think the ego…. the narcissism present in amane, deep down being cheered/praised sssso much repeatedly is. mmmnn yessss i doooo it

あ：god yeah. i think tsukasa's egging on is just sooo effective tsukasa might as well be breathing a poison cloud that is going right into him

つ：i do it sssso good call my naaaame

あ：the words are so palpably good at stoking him

the way tsukasa is here to be like: you fuck her sooo good you look sooo hot whiel you do it she is so ooo lucky to be fucked by you

つ：and nene whining/cooing them in such a girlish register, hiccuping them,ssss ounds better than ever imagined,and he's imagined it a lot

lucky-lucky girl nene-chaaaan don't you feel lucky….. !

あ：her going along with it all.. it just. he will just feel like the paydirt was so worth it. she can only resist so much!! of course she cant do more than a little fussing.. bbbbECAUSE SHE wants this she wants me she is agreeing… she is nodding, she is asserting she feels lucky

i wish it could be like.. amane buries his face against nene as he finishes, and gets snuzzled and pet by tsukasa all the while… like as he is shuddering intensely… we rub faces while i unload into my girl

つ：i'll just live in the narrative where this is simply my classmate brother mmmmmmn the satisfaction of nene being so agreeable… she will pull him into a kiss after. emboldened-- but thinking like-- h -HE BETTER KISS ME [KISSES HIM]

あ：it's… it's fine, in the context of the narrative… omgg boy not ready for kiss despite everything i think

つ：just begin making out ssssso hard. he will not let go once he's latched. tsukasa is just chin against her shoulder so close to the action pleasant

woooow… a first kiss too……

あ：beautiful stuff you two..

its like amane forgot kissing was a thing thsi deep into it and youre gonna rot his brain fucking.. KISS ME AFTER???

つ：he whiiiines. and flinches after like ffcukg nn-no why… mnhmh… whyd i whine bbuthjbkiss mmeeeeee mmm

[cock hurts. but is attempting to harden again]

あ：and one must learn that undignified noises shall happen during kiss

the hips itch and shift and shuffle.. your cock soo badly wants to be hard again its really like ouch... [tsukasa alternating giving you two headpats during kissm]

つ：hugs nene a nice squeeze for a second. mm i jsut love to be here. Nene is…. universes are exploding inside of her brain for nene. i simply think she wants to fuck again

あ：I Am Here In The Porno, I Am Suspended Between Two Boys

つ：its easier, for girls. just want it. pussy burns. brain is gone. tugging at amane, wrapping legs around him suddenly

あ：moe for amane to be the one feeling disoriented at this point… umm a little weaker after nutting wwww… but god desire in the heart… dizzied to have reciprocation, in reality… being invited and pressed for more at all is like hough. OHHHHH she really. she, really. want [sways against…]

つ：nene…. ah she hits a point always, i feel, where she's gone.. mad. finally achieving sex. wanting it. thinking in only poisoned thoughts…. grinding towards him… but, unable to make eye contact. I like to think at this point, amane can't either, finally a bit shy, mostly over it. it needs to take a second

cant look your girl in the eye while shuffling feet around. feels like hot stove. impatient to be ready to slam more

but your helpful tsukasa is here….! observing the problem… amane shuffling around like a nervous horse

あ：i think there's a limited reserve of bravado. you used up so much focus and determination to get this far. he looks tense.. swallowing..

つ：I think its like hmmmmm…. mmm… grabs his face. makes you and nene stare again keep saying his name, nene-chan…. if you want him to go again he likes that best. tell him how much you liked it! he wants to hear that.

an obedient nene…. happy to have, direction…? too … addled, to be arguing. too addled to be bothered…. by the intrusiveness. it IS convenient to have solution…..

あ：you liked what he did, after all, right….? nene-chan is a good girl, she should show her gratitude. [pet pet]

つ：small quiet… followed by… I… I liked … it… I l. loved, it. I want. More I… want [tsukasa interrupting] amane…. [nene nodding] amane-kun…. amane-kun to, d. do it, more….

あ：mmm yes… you get to watch the statement go into him like you threw a precision dart at a target… to feeeel the cock twitches. the hurried scuffing.

つ：[tsukasa.. gently holding amane's jaw] [tilting his head] I also want you to do it more.

nene has to… feel… ah…. he…. was right. he knew…. he knew how to make him…. is it possible to know someone so well… [delirious from cock] am I lucky… tsukasa-kun is here…too…

あ：she can feel the effects... it just ripples throughout him... undeniably..little lightbulb going off in head but it is full of c*m

Amane: [mouth worrying, licking lips, swallowing…] [troubled seeming] Tsukasa: [noting he's struggling with words] -- and , you want to too, don't you, Amane..! You do, don't you? You felt so good. Amane: [hoarsely] h…hhhhai. [nod nod…] [throws head like agitated horse] and nene watching this all like ouh… wow… tsukasa-kun is like an… expert… sasuga futago otouto… [kind of clueless, awed tone] You really did… like it a lot, Am.. Amane-kun… you… wanted this, with me..? [cumbrain. and, thinking about 'the narrative'] ff… for a while…

つ：tsukasa like wtf this is so cuuuute❤️ KAWAIIIIII

あ：so smart she is learning!!yesss talk to him tell him what you have observed...

つ：yessss team up with me nene-chaaaaan

あ：RULE WITH ME

つ：so cute amane like. repeatedly. huffing. he is like a troubled horse but then its like [tsukasa against nene's ear] you should tell him his cock looks nice

TSUKASA-KUN THATS TOO DIRECT!!!!!!!! MURI

あ：such a screeaaaa amoment [tsukasa rubbing your shoulders] [like your boxing coach]

つ：but trying to behave. am. ammn. ama. amane-k, kun

あ：[he looks at you like a sad dog for a sec awaiting the bacon]

つ：your c . your cc. co. [being rubbed] cock -- COCK [UNNECESSARILY LOUD] [fucks up] FEELS-- looks--!

[inelegant] ggggooddddd

あ：fus roh dah'd its just like MY WAHT [COUGHs blood]

つ：he did not know nene could say such a word

あ：[BLINKs out of sync] it... wh... ..? you- you were [fucking sounds like a bully uncontrollably] looked.? you've beenlooking [slurring]

つ：[tsukasa observing amane be shitty excitedly]

あ：like mgh?f hgf. what hte fuck…. sl-slut.s lut whore what hte fuck… looking at my.. this might actually make him so sick [voice becomes lower] [suddenly less clipped] what.. do you want to look at it…? actually thinking about how shitty it would be to like . pause. for this. like actually we are going to call attention to this tis my choice but you have tsukasa to be the crazy guy who is liek YAS

つ：FUCKING SHOW USSSS for this moment he is not thinking of tsukasa tsukasa has vanished tsukasa is just sitting there like 😮observing these transpiring events but in amane's mind its nene undera spotlight

nfnnf no what d did i get inttto [but wobbles from heat] but t. i ? see it ?

あ：like oh. i"llllllllllllll show you my cock if thats what yuore into. [pitying fsr]

つ：[pure brain unfiltered in her head] i do want to see it

あ：gets on my throne about it for a sec. UNABLE TO CHECK SELF

つ：puuulll a littlee awayyyy….. ah nene…. swallowing. nodding. h. hai. politely. clasps hands together at chest…..

あ：shimmy shimmy… incidentally it is good, umm, atmosphere, for this all, steadily hardening again… taking a detour to grasp self… Urhg. unfortunately i do think he has THOUGHT before about presentation, his hands are not. demure. while tsukasa isnt being paid attention to, i think he is active enough still like making sure nene is looqing. hand on her head. staring attentively as well

つ：i enjoy the big show. we all love the big show

あ：i am the big show oh sorry amane is soo shitty but he's quantifiably soo shitty.. it's really going to be like… [staring at nene while running hand along it, pumps..] [wincing, but focused.] So. You like it. Like the look of it. [guy who is going to make you repeat yourself]

つ：[like afucking military officer is talking to her] HAI

あ：it's really like [shifts hips..] [fingers looped in👌hand, dipping in and out of it] i make you think. about it

つ：well i think putting on a show makes tsukasa completely speechless jaw dropped. the synergy of tsukasa and nene here is profound actually

あ：gets laser focused eyes haven't seen him like this… Amane letting loose has never been… relishing in it, this much. ouhh.

つ：both. breathing through mouths. tracking so closely with eyes. zeroed in thinking h… he's…. can he be so confident….. Amane-kun…. I didn't know… h. he…. could…. be so, bold…. direct thank you blessed tsukasa-kun for creating this circumstance

あ：🙏we need you . we need you so badly

つ：amane watching nene flinch when his cock twitches… its like mmm. tsukasa doesn't flinch. still. impeccably so. as though an animal camouflaging. focused

あ：Good to know she really is thinking about it. this is a good way to get geared up… to fuck her again… like ooh. this makes me want to fuck your brains out

つ：its charming to me for tsukasa to fade into the background briefly, its like the… familiarity of him kinda briefly renders him nonexistent, as nene is being dealt with. he is cool to hang out.

あ：he is not intrusive to it all he is permitted to watch amane ostentatiously pull back foreskin

つ：stops breathing, visibly. makes amane laugh… which makes her jump. heavy breathy lil laugh from him for amane it must be so chaaarming….. mmm she's not only weak to a pretty face, now is she. lol

あ：It's that interesting huh. [humming]

つ：[amane, flatly] so… is this your real weakness. should I have lead with this.

あ：This would've kept your attention hm.. [tilts it back and forth... being. crude.]Gets results. You probably can't even remember any other guy's name or face right now Right? haha.

つ：blinks. oh cant see. but wants to see. visibly trying to, recover from feeling dazed. blinking a lot

tsukasa uncontrollably also feeling like he is being talked to, but that is irrelevant. just going into his skull

its like humorous honestly its like . yeah i do not remember anythignn rn

あ：fjdghf… sweetie. cute though. like it goes into your real stomach

[strokes..] [breathing falters a bit, but swallows] Well… maybe now you won't run off any chance you get with whoever You'll just think about this instead. won't you. Maybe if I just tell you to , you will.

つ：nods…. if…. .. will you…. really do this…. f. from now on…..? with… with. me

あ：[breathes] Oh. Yeah [brain melting] allthe time You. won't be able to. get away from … me. [h-hm. that wasnt the plan.]

つ：o, okay [stupid]

あ：[shifting to get between legs mindlessly, regardless] we are both stupid like mghhhhhhhhhhh i want in im READY

つ：everyone's stupid amane whipped his cock out and rubbed it and everyone got brain damage

あ：tsukasa's hand should like rush to spread pussy for

つ：that would be cute. like KLFJSD;KLF WAKES UP WAIT I HAD A PLAN!!! I WAMS GONAN. HELP

あ：master is returning i must get the door

but i think generously its like this is just allowed. WE'RE all dealing wtih poison status efx we have NO THOUGHTS i think tsukasa should just be allowed to feel it sink in… framing

つ：tsukasa did a good job aligning the shot for amane to take it. like a retical on a sniper juuuust slightlyyy feel the skin drag along the edge of his fingers…. pull down as he sinks in

あ：a treat for the good good brother… i do not think amane can be taken off his cloud after such a lead up its like mgh yes. oh commence fuck yes [grateful for 1 sec] its good to sink so fluidly into pussy, get so deep. NEED

i grant tsukasa also getting to feel him really pull back and then slam.. grind against… not bothering to wait for fingers to move… the urgency spurs everything forward. but its like i think everyone's hindbrain loves the energy of all of us coming together like this

つ：mmmm force crushing into hand… nnngghice. coooool… amane is cool nene is gone though

あ：we have lost her. that is okay. was assassinated… our dearly beloved

つ：a good…. deserved…. hard plow. unmitigated clutching with all limbs… stupid slut brain just thinking about the shape endlessly and the sensation combined with it aware now, of, twitches. more aware. knows what those look like. feels them harder.

somewhere, shijima: this sucks i hate it i fucking hate drawing

あ：doing all that she can to not just slash the canvas hate knowing tsukasa and no. 7 are fucking tfw mitsuba and kou are fucking out taking photos are some shit that's what she signed up for. not. this.

つ：the afterglow of this situation…. is humorous to think about i fklsdjfklsf tsukasa's just goingto be smelling his hand in the backgruond and amane is like not going to notice/think about it or like why that is its like oh tsukasa is doing w/e

あ：same as he ever was...

つ：the duality of it smells like pussy and cock. much to huff

あ：its a very special day for tsukasa. WOW! i guess i didnt see absolutely everything in the timeline sometimes even i do not know what will happen

hanako having to like. ruminate on. like.💭 ………………… do i just…………………………. quietly peace out still once i gaurantee nene can stay here………… ………………. no. 2 will just have a fake amane to slot in so. [thinks. about. if nene iwll. fuck. that clone. ] no. 💭……………….. she'll forget about her other life eventually. but this is. a part of the. narrative. here.

つ：can I get shijima to kill me off [jealous over paper cut out of self]

あ：she'd probably enjoy that right have me hit by a truck or whatever … me and tsukasa. i wont let. paper cut out tsukasa comfort her.

つ：tsukasa in the BG licking his hand, but covertly like a child sneaking a cookie. as if he could get scolded nene is comatose…. floating coin slot

あ：hanako just kinda middle distance staring thinking about this stuff. but thats okay

つ：everyone is contemplating

あ：is also just like. but by god if i aint going to fuck her again later whatever itll sort itself out

つ：💭wait, this hanako-- amane-kun ? has a pulse and. is warm. can he get me pregnant ?

あ：was i irresponsible because i forgot about htis-!? ………..wait…………… did amane-kun choose to………. ………………………… [if i am engaging with amane-kun like he is really alive boy.] so he made the decision to……………………… do it in me… multiple times

つ：[nene in space]

あ：having to be like. does he want me to . he has to at least not care. if it happens. [thinks] i guess my parents would just take care of me no matter hwat

つ：or is he… such a … dirty creep its not his problem… [this makes her horny]

あ：[none of the thoughts have the right amount of severity] he's just going to be like… "figure it out…" and keep unloading into me 😭….🤤

つ：tsukasa💭i wonder if nene-chan would let me smell her hmm or rather if amane would let me smel nene chan

あ：the real questions tsukasa.

____________________

つ：> tsukasa uncontrollably also feeling like he is being talked to, but that is irrelevant. just going into his skull

I keep thinking about this

its just so f. funny to be dirty talking nene like mm you dont think about other guys. and tsukasa is like i do not [seriously, mentally] i do not amane would just be like [tired face] y. oh i know you. dont. sigh. i. no thats

あ：sooo funny like we're doing mental affirmations with tsukasa as well

つ：that wasnt for you like [facepalm] you're unintentionally doing mental affirmations with tsukasa. is the problem. nene and tsukasa are both like mmngh only you

あ：cumbrain tsukasa is very endearing like aumghmm im loyal too

つ：i do not need affirmations. from tsukasa. says amane im not trying to affirm that one sigh

あ：if you even imagined it. like intrusively. itd be like [frowns]. like sees mental image of me being like: you only think about me dont you and tsukasa like VIBRATING barking yes. doesnt it almost feel liek dirty talking a toddler

つ：like glkgl;gjdfklg

あ：the idea of being liek: you like ice cream, to a kid whose face and hadns are all sticky

つ：I'M SIMPLY LOVING THSEE TAKES ITS SO FUNNYYYY

ITS TOO FUNNY TO IMAGINE DOING THIS TO TSUKASA ITS SO FUNNY YOU CAN DO IT TO NENE ALL DAY and like he WILL do it to nene all day. like thats right girl you only think about and look at me. you can't even care about anything else anymore. how you should be. and tsukasa is absorbing it into his own brain 3rd party without amane's consent or intent.

あ：its. so funny. but also like , i do love the thought of it uncontrollably happening regardless like you can't remove tsukasa from the scene of the crime

つ：he is present.

あ：sigh its precious though isnt it… like shifting and fidgeting in seat as well… fox that is about to pee didnt ever conceptualize amane commenting on your feelings i dont think tsukasa could fathom like not, responding, mentally, i think the internal stream of thought must simply become yes master………………

つ：mochiron tsukasa does believe himself and nene are the same in their feelings, and amane affirming this dynamic with HER only affirms the 'we are exactly the same, we feel the same things for Amane, we want the same things with Amane'

hearing the relationship become THIS just naturally confirms his own dynamic… of course it's like that, because we are the same. like to hear it, as much as Nene does, we're all eager to hear such things

あ：our roles are the same…

but i love the thought of this happening like multiple times as amane gets like idk addicted to the sheer ease, the butter. of the situation. and keeps dirty talking nene possessively... and you only start brushing up with how this has been effecting tsukasa like later. you have a moment where both nene and tsukasa nod to something in a zombie like manner and youre like ? [shakes head] [but moves on]

つ：its sssoo funny how many times it could be that Amane is simply in such a tunnelvision horny state while devolving into his dirty talk, that he has blinders on, isn't seeing tsukasa, but as well, tsukasa doesn't express much obviously, he's trapdoor open mouth and big eyes, so you dont always know what he is ✅seen. But it is ssso funny to finally one day observe tsukasa synchronized nodding with nene lidding eyes at you, SO parallell to her, that its. -feel like you hallucinated-

あ：right like we're so deep into this madness and then its like hugh. j?? but.. still not being jarred enough to stop its just like a hitch. like what? but. okay

つ：tsukasa ..? oh m.moving on. whatever

you can believe he's just a sort of ape imitating motions if you think about this later and feel like dying. i like to think in the moment Amane would like, get over it, continue, but later in his stall unfortunately uncontrollably remember synchronized nod and feel dread

[of montreal voice] LETS RELAAAAATE

あ：Someone who feels their demise encroaching on the horizon Omens… and portents

つ：the time and place of your own death

あ：Uhuh. really just alternating between being like "no it definitely wasnt anything" and then "that. wasnt nothing." and then "okay but it-- even if he was. [scalding, hate to say it] horny-- it would -- i mean its probably just from THE SEX HAPPENING right. like the vibes in the room." pause. "… that doesnt sound… like, good. dude."

[to self] are we really going to… like, not address this. if tsukasa is getting horny about things you're saying meant for yashiro. [defensively] but i already have to deal with tsukasa being in the room while i do things to yashiro right. isnt that already so weird. what am i even going to say.

tsukasa is already getting horny about things meant for yashiro what does it matter. and what am i gonna say. wear this burlap sack. [being an asshole internally] we're already trying to ignore him being there.

つ：but the next time you are dirty talking her you are going to think far too hard about the duality of what you are saying. when you re-read a post but in someone else's tone of voice and perspective… and can understand how they specifically will twist these worsd

あ：starting to talk about your eyes drift and see tsukasa's gaze and its like [slows.] [now you two are just making eye contact]

つ：stops. talking. which yashiro notices is like a… ahh..? are you…. okay…. ? noticing something.. but I think Hanako would just snap immediately after

grab her by the throat, shove her down, DETERMINED TO SAY CRAZIER SHIT

あ：oh get all. the animal within about it.

つ：YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT ANYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!! EVER AGAIN!!! YOU CAN'T SSSTAND ANYTHING ELSE!!! IT'S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. NOTHING IS WORTH YOUR TIME!!!! BUT ME!!!

あ：it's like his own hiccupping and faltering makes him so frustrated, the only response can be [snarls] … cant let anything get in the way of ASSERTING MY POSITION. yashiro should know WHAT SHE IS TO ME. oh….. you know because hanako is the way he is i do think it could really get so sick. like. I WON'T STOP UNTIL EVERY DREAM YOU HAVE IS ABOUT ME EVERY NIGHTMARE, EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT IN YOUR LITTLE HEAD!!

YOUR LIFE WAS OVER THE DAY YOU MET ME!

つ：ah ssso scary for nene, but immediately violently effective, girls… girls want to hear thissssss.

going into tsukasa it's [eyes back in skull] myn the day I met you [was born] being younger sibling meaning never existing without the other.

あ：oh its a lot for tsukasa to hear that specifically isnt it

つ：in trying to target things at yashiro and blast through this obstruction, just say it, going to only say worse things, by nature

あ：there's no way to actually avoid effecting tsukasa. they are indeed, the same.

つ：there is NO avoiding it, you CANT make it more pointed, exact, you cannot.... you can't. saying all of that panting and watching both of them arching is flk;fgklfkl;jKL;GJSKL;GJSKLG NGNHGHKM!!!!!

あ：[getting crazier] YOU NEVER HAD A CHOICE YOUR LIFE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE MINE!!!

つ：ah… the two of them…. its so synchronus its scary. scary to observe. shuddering as words hit skulls

あ：very scary... like its possessing them equally

つ：its like ohhhh hFKH EVeryones FUCKIGN EHRE FOR ME AREN'T THEY!!!! FINE

あ：ohh so thats how it is… FFFFFFFFFINE [frothing] you just love to hear it dont you [frustrated by the circumstances] wish i would speak to you like this all the time. would make your life so easy, right

つ：nod nod. nene has tears in her eyes... tugging at his arms, hands

あ：feeling sooo reduced… oh nene is such a humble girl i think she really quickly can be taken into a state of "IF YOU WOULD HAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [cries] if you could want that

つ：it makes her cry, to simply have what she wants..... to, be, owned. hard to believe, every time....it's so extreme, he has to mean it.... she's a grateful girl, when its happening. blubbering little mess....

Amane in his broken mental state, beseeching them both with.... Why don't you tell me something, for once... I'm always talking... say something. But...! It would only be Nene replying, Tsukasa DOES understand these sorts of instructions aren't for him, he just sits and listens to Nene with Amane, eager for her to be his mouthpiece, speak for them both, as she does. he sees her as a mere extention.... she's so sincere, too

あ：he has a lot of sincere faith in nene to be able to express, she is hand selected by amane and deemed worthy of this, she is good girl and does as she is told, she can answer the call

つ：whining that, I, I like not thinking of anything else.... if you really want my attention, alway, s, if, if it really-- doesn't annoy you, Hanako-kun, I-I can't, imagine, if, you wouldn't be tired, you're never tired...? Of me....?

あ：Oh i feel like it's the sort of sentence that makes Hanako become so !? [wheeze] of course. of- of course! [that feeling he gets, like: ITS SO OBVIOUS, IT'S SELF EVIDENT] ...... i could never get tired of it... [mouth tense. the road bumps!! swallows, drags hand on face] ... it's not even a competition. no one is anything.

[devolving into like.. muttering] i could do this all day… [hufff….] if i could keep you here. you wouldn't even go home, anymore. [squeezes throat]

つ：for tsukasa, at times observing nene is like observing a younger version of himself... scared to be called dummy, scared to bore, annoy, upset amane... strokes and pets her as she talks, nuzzles nene.

あ：it is like that isn't it… like the insecure self who cannot believe the interest is really present. while tsukasa has, in a sense 'matured' and gotten to the point of trusting amane's feelings so entirely that the fact that amane wants something is the proof itself

つ：amane will not waste time with unnecessary things… tsukasa watched him have no friends. he knows he is choosing nene, for a reason. but seeing her be sensitive, is sweet… seeing amane reassure her, is sweet.

あ：its pleasing to see them communicate directly like this. what tsukasa loves to seeee... getting right to it, say the words that matter most

つ：feels like amane IS healing

あ：i do think it is one of hanako's most feeble emotions that he wishes yashiro did not have to go home at the end of the day. it would be a big admittance… for her to get to know. bc she has to understand he's like a sad dog about it

つ：its cute he will occilate between dom voice and like…. nuzzling nene. so cute… having a really sweet moment of her crying. nuzz nuzz, from both boys. I love the idea of Yashiro sneaking out at night and coming to school, even if she just. sleeps. somwhere in the school. giving hanako privilege of watching her sleep

あ：break you into the nurses office or something. it would be sweet he surely wants to look at you all night and pet your head you know

つ：for all this though its funny if after a short beat he sort of…. looks…. over at Tsukasa. kind of half-lidded side-eye. Sortof grimmacing internally… like m…. observing him nuzzling and squeezing Nene, knowing that Tsukasa was also. Feeling those words, but did legitimately censor himself from replying… but its funny to be unable to control his nature towards Tsukasa. Throwing the dog a bone but, difficultly….. "and you. Do you have anything to say. Tsukasa."

Tsukasa is like !!!!!! :U ….. !!! ?!? [braindead to be called attention to] nene is like ? … [slightly confused why Amane is talking to Tsukasa? is like when… since when? hm? Tsukasa…?]

when justin is in that. mode where he's so like. When justin is like AND I lik- e, sex, weird ,sex. when H'es liek. aND i'VE got a, rap personality, to i-i his, name-- uh, its. shitty tim. [is there an offchance he STINKS?] HAHA y-- n, no I… not like, no not, shitty like….

あ：rhgfghjf yeah like fumbling to contribute as well

つ：[voice crackling in throat] YEAH I! [braindead] …AMANE…!

あ：…………………. …………………………………………………….. ………… tsukasa. [looks.] [like. go on.]

つ：!!! pants, ah!!! [excited kid on a stage]

あ：breathing into the microphone

つ：Nh! Nene-chan!!! The same!! Me, too!! Ne, ne, Nene-chan? [pivoting towards her cluelessly] its not the same as being like nervous its just being like lfjsdlfk;sj so mindless like ahouhh thank you for the opportunity!!! knocks over microphone

あ：oh you are going to activate hanako's dummy demon brain. youre not that smart huh. [slow blink] [FEELING like a benevolent god, as i reach over and grab your face with one hand]

つ：!!!

あ：[sigh] What is the same.

つ：hiccups A wiggles. now nene is also staring at tsukasa like… hm…. can he really get tongue tied? what is this scene…..

YouRs! Yours! Ua-Hhheheeheehe, we, 're here, for, AMANE!

あ：nene's end of this

the way hanako just has to feel like. [leers] Yeah that's right. [shakes head side to side while holding it in hand. the way people who are used to foxes just garb their mouths] [condescending tone]

つ：tsukasa just like HEHEHEHEHEHFEKGJRK!!!! HEEHEEEHEEheehee skitters ffeet under hakama . breathes

both nene and hanako looking so lidded . synchronus too

あ：💭 this is so easy it should be a crime. [hanako processing that dirty talking tsukasa feels like. shooting fish in a barrel]

つ：belong…. to Amane… fffor, Amane. [quieter, but still trapdoor smiling] born…. for Amane… to be with, Amane….

あ：

つ：makes Nene pause

あ：[jenny voice] heyyyy waita sec

つ：funny to think of it working authentically on hanako for 1 second being like…..[nene observes hanako ceasing] when hanako is like. the shape of. . fing ers, [begins not paying attention]

あ：[turns]

つ：I think Hanako is shitty enough, charmingly, to start like picking his nose

あ：as if this doesn't really concern him

つ：its like.... at best, pets tsukasa's head, but condescendingly

あ：that's the best i can do for you

つ：mmhmmm…… sigh you did as i asked

あ：pets you but doesnt look knocks tsukasa's hat off rudely in my gesture

つ：pant pant pant pant [perfectly satisfied]

💭 hmm… somehow this doesn't seem fair 💭… I dont know if Tsukasa-kun and I are really the same…. he's….. [squints, looking for kind words] . sure gracious, isn't he…. 💭suddenly, I feel pretty spoiled….

あ：thinking, i dont know if i could handle it if Hanako-kun wouldn't even look at me e-er. errrr…..

つ：eeehhhh…. really… hard to imagine…. what tsukasa-kun deals with…. how Hanako-kun appears from his position….

あ： nene thinking harder, in ways hanako and tsukasa just cannot: if i was just holding some other girl while hanako fingered her or something. omg wait! that sucks 😭hold on!

つ：WAIT THAT WOULD RUIN ME I justs had to listen to wahtever Hanako-kun said to her and trust it applied to me too😭 WE'RE NOT ALIKE AT ALL, TSUKASA-KUN

あ：🐟💭i guess i'm insecure even when i'm in the 'center' of this-!!!!!

つ：it's so overwhelming, but, there are worse things than being overwhelmed, aren't there…. ah, somehow, tsukasa-kun… he seems so overwhelmed by the little he gets, doesn't he…. that's amazing, but…. is it really good…? he was so happy, being spoken to, just now…. though, he's kind of always happy, isn't he…. should I be concerned? Is this overthinking…. but, well….

[huff] its Hanako-kun who I'm concerned about here….! why can't he….. do more…..Tsukasa-kun's graciousnesss…. it kind of feels like it's letting Hanako-kun get away with something…. just because someone allows such a lax treatment… does that make it alright? h-hmm… this is complicated.

あ：nene capable of being like ah hold on matte matte… …… i mean… i guess hanako-kun could.. technically treat ME in lots of ways and i'd… [this is scalping but.] ………………………………. 6_6

つ：s... so long as.... I was still... there.....

あ：i would just. be happy to be his girl i guess [bald]

つ：m-maybe that's, s, satisfying in and of itself, u-uhm… ettoo…… mmm.. l-like, my own. ah. loyalty, p.. proven m-maybe that's why Tsukasa-kun is so self-satisfied…. hmm, I suddenly feel like the most immature one here, ….. -- EXCEPT, HANAKO-KUN is just following his whims….! mmm

あ：…. but still, why doesn't hanako-kun want to be any nicer, is he really okay with treating his younger twin brother this way…. [indignant] hey, arent i older!

つ：… Tsukasa-kun said… he was born for Amane… that is how he feels, isn't it…. it's…. almost literal-feeling, in his case, isn't it….

あ：I suppose I can't imagine what it would be like to always be with Hanako-kun, since I was born.... [gets emo on tsukasa's behalf]

つ：see i want a threeway where hanako starts talking to nene as he does, and she just fucking grabs tsukasa's face and puts his face in hanako's face, and hanako is like RECORD SCRATCH

あ：it is her job to be like hey!!!

つ：[Hanako tries to look away. nene insanely grabs his jaw too] she didn't have a plan. this isn't actually well executed just got. indignant

あ：if we're just grabbing each other's faces out here if thats how we do things

つ：[trying to be fucking. firm-footed. we do things like this out here, don't we!! I'M OLDER] WHY DO WE ALWAYS LISTENT O ONLY HANAKO-KUN

あ：lol flksdghdf it feels like itd be such a [staring at each other] tsukasa [spiritually] hi handsem

つ：wiggles fingers hello vibes smiles so pleasantly! fancy seeing you heeere

nene trying to be a bold, dominant force: WHY DON'T YOU SAY HOW YOU FEEL, H, HANAKO-KUN! ALWAYS TELLING US, W,WHAT TO, DO, MMMAKING US TALK TO YOU… WH, WHAT ABOUT TSUKASA-KUN… C. CAN YOU TALK TO HIM FOR ONCE

[hands shaking holding them in place above her]

あ：wtf you dont kiss me i kiss you [pouts] hanako, disoriented, like -- where am i . werent we all like. Me: I own you You: You own us

つ：Tsukasa is just like [trapdoor mouth] heke? but I also think given a beat Tsukasa would be like… Nene-chan doesn't have to do this….❤️ you don't have to talk, Amane!

YES HE DOES

[enjoying this immensely] oh

あ：heiki heiki🤤 daijoubu im fiibne.

つ：sssooo like mnn hehe ouhhh this is so cuuute endearing awe nene-chan mmmblblbl enjoying staring at amane though like mm yes hehe

あ：a moment of pleasure for me

i think hanako is just like !? [frozen. bc the sheer like. what.] [internally, flatly] what you want me to what [frowns] [but like its so 'what' that he cant actually freak tf out about it really its like ?] especially when tsukasa is just like looking at him dopily i think its like

つ：………………….. we're too familiar for this, Yashiro. You don't get it [shittily]

あ：yeah. like . uhhh. lol…. n-no? Why would I tell Tsukasa my feelings.

つ：b. because…..

あ：He doesn't need to hear my feelings. Isn't that right. Tsukasa.

つ： I already know how Amane feels.

[wilting a little] BUT ISN'T IT NICE TO. TO HEAR IT!? YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT, DON'T YOU?!

あ："Hey……."

つ：Y, YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT!! IT FEELS GOOD TO HEAR IT!!! WHAT ARE WE DOING BUT MAKING. EACH OTHER. FEEL GOOD!!!!

あ：💭 you want me to make my little brother "feel good" ? kimochi warui

つ：I GET TO HEAR IT!!! A-AND YOU, JUST, S, sit there, I, I get that it's different, but….. b, but, T, Tsukasa-kun is. He's, he's patient, a-and,

wag wag awe Nene-chan….. wtf defending meeeee 💔 aweee

あ：Amane becoming like the. Looks at you expressionlessly like you are a particle. but i think he's not really offended by this still, it's just like. raises brow.

つ：I-I know he's content with just being present, I know it's different, but.. [trying so hard to articulate her own thesis. should have thought this through]

あ：tilts head. looks at her with some genuine pity, like, man she's upset about something isn't she. lifts head out of her hold but slowly, not ripping away or anything. reaches down, pets her head

So… you feel bad for Tsukasa because he's… well-behaved or something

つ：tsukasa, scalping Amane: It's difficult for Amane, so he doesn't need to do it Nene-chan is so kind…..

あ：[chuffs] Hey. Quit it This isn't about me

つ：YOU LISTEN TO HIM TALKING TO ME…. you respond, too… to it….I feel it. receiving things so indirectly always…… a. aren't I…. …. spoiled….?

あ：You are spoiled. [not helping]

つ：slaps him a little

あ：deserved. allows it necessary

つ：[MOVING ON] Tsukasa-kun…. can it really be like this forever, and be okay…. we… aren't exactly the same, actually….

I couldn't do what you do, at all…! If I was…. with, p, people, but I was always…. on the sides…. if I was just holding onto someone else…. someone else getting all the, love poured into them….

あ：[watching her go on like sheesh… when you say it like that] [starting to feel a lil bad. hackles raise.]

つ：[nnnnnot my bullshit being laid out]

あ：but you put hanako in such a position of... what, are you going to defend that you're very loving to tsukasa

つ：or do you si t there and wait for TSUKASA to do so hell both ways

あ：i dont like where this is going [trying to intercept tsukasa responding] Well, what am I supposed to do, to make you feel better Yashiro? You just want me to tell him, [falters.] that, it's good that he's here or whatever [6:53 PM] [trying to think on his feet] it's… I mean, the fact that I'm even letting him stay in the room. Is all the proof.

つ：tsukasa nodding feeling. feeble.

あ：… [doesnt like the vibes…] [looking at nene who is like, wet eyed at this point surely. troubled looking.] [feeling like Ohhhhh what do you want to hear…] rubs face.

つ：so feeling, stupid and belittled and yet still somewhat righteous, but unable to understand how to articulate any of it

あ：tsukasa must feel like oh poor nene she really is sad for me wwww

つ：petting her, shushing her, rubbing her lovingly with Amane….. [softly] …. I'm like Nene-chan, in the future Nene-chan… is like me, before!

Amane, [readying the scalping device] was… Amane. Hehe. I would lose something of his…. or break it… and he would say [PERFECT IMPRESSION] TSUKASA, YOU IDIOT …. [smiling] he's like that

he would groan [PERFECT IMPRESSION] UUGHHghh, Tsukasa! hehe. It's like that for Nene-chan, now ….. but. That's not how Amane really feels. Of course, of course! Of course, you know, how he really feels! It's easier to groan, hehe

but… we're having fun here, Tsukasa….. even if you know it's true….. objectively…. it would feel good to have….. more…..wouldn't it….?

[plainly] If Amane wanted to give me more, I would like that. Is Nene-chan going to make him?

n-. n-no ,

[disappointed] awe. okay!

w-wait.

あ：while they talk

つ：hanako transforming into a corn cob

あ：like sttttoppppp….. stop it [reactively] its not THAT hard, i dont need to be FORCED tsukasa is talking about me being. A LITTLE KID im not like that now [getting sooo.. like.. omgg stop the drags… stooop… IM NOT SIX ANYMOOORE THIS ISNT LIKE BREAKING MY TOY TRAIN] [FUCK!!!] but i think this would make tsukasa feel so ahaha. no you are still amane like nene goes chigau. that is you now.

つ：its not so different.

あ：tsukasa agrees. un un. oh its amane.

つ：he does call me dummy, sometimes

un un

あ：[feeling like he is being forcefully shrunked] wwHAAAT WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? "THANKS FOR HOLDING YASHIRO WHILE I FUCK HER" ?F/GJFD "THANKS FOR BEING SO WELL-BEHAVED AND LOYAL THAT YOU PROP HER UPF OR ME"

つ：[talking to tsukasa, somewhat ignoring hanako] he's always saying things are self-evident and stuff…..

un, un he doesn't like to say it directly. action, action! Amane is about action! to your bodyyy [wiggling fingers] hehehe

あ：tsukasa, kindly: moe deshou. kawaii

つ：moe makes nene giggle

あ：kawaii desuyo ne… nene: souu…

つ：… un…… moee….. closes eyes, nodding sortof whispering towards tsukasa but still audible: but doesn't it make you wish it would be challenged….

あ：oh it's very fun to see amane be challenged [tongue lolling emotion] his reactions are the best so, will you? [wishmaker voice]

but during this babbling i do want amane to just burst out like HEY. [INTERRUPTS.] Look look look…………………. Fine. We'll try it out. [like ugh.. UGH. it doesnt matter wtf.] so can we stop talking and actually get to the funs tuff

getting indignant about not being predictable. its NOT in my nature. i'll show you two…

つ：i'm not even, having problems!!!

あ：If it really matters soo much to you Yashiro. Fine! Whatever you know. Oh me? Totally fine

つ：tsukasa smiling pleasantly. flowers around. mmm hehe

あ：[HUFFS]. watch this. [coughs] GOOD BOY TSUKASA. [like i am blasting a sonic beam]

つ：big eyes also big eyes she can observe it indeed working but its so funny, the crudest animal, he is just buzzing like ehheheheehe!!!! REALLY!!

あ：the way you can't eat food as a joke etc. [not a very immediate response, but trying to maintain cool front] Mmm-hmm… of. course you are. You're always good. [hurriedly, no homo] Just like Yashiro. 💭 cuz you two are ~the same~ or whatever. ohh good for you.

つ：ah he's so funny he is so protected. just funny

but tsukasa is just like paaant hehe CANT RESIST PUTTING ARMS AROUND SHOULDERS!!! THANK YOU, AMANE!!! nuzzle nuzzle nuzzle

あ：trying to prove a point but feeling so

つ：simply satisfied with this step 1. like we're rehabilitating an animal

あ：[grabs tsukasa's shoulders. but stops self from prying off.] [slack grip.] [doesnt. know what to do.] Yeah yeah you're welcome… [rolls shoulders.]

つ：hugs tsukasa….. you are good….. it'll be even more fun, some day

oooouu really……?

mmhm!

あ：Mhmm. [not looking at anything.] So fun. [sounds like i am appeasing some choddlers]

つ：grabs his cock

あ：[promising a kid you'll buy them a unicorn-- HRUGHFD]GF

つ：the way nene is threatening shijima. hthat sort of heelturn she can do or when she suddenly berates hanako after playing easygoing/dumb

あ：yes omg… played you under the fucking table actually i love whens he threatens shijima she gets all devil horns fully upright horns

つ：pumps through slacks. has her hand just between them, and a hand on tsukasa's back, still, from the hug

tsukasa is like hmmm, i see i see, holds Amane in place. increases grip on shoulders.

あ：Oh like the sound of iron bars slamming shut. it's all happening so fast -- like tsukasa reacted just before he could peel off and escape hand

Expert tsukasa reaction time So you just have Hanako kicking his legs about and making as if to float/inch backwards

startled horse out here. but ohhhhhhhhhh i think the cock pain is unimaginable in this position. 0-100… you weren't actually keeping track of yourself this whole time. feels like your body has been tense and wound up from all the prattling becomes so very hard in her grip it's abysmal

つ：nene has a devil horns mode somewhere inside of her. actually hanako being shitty this whole time has just made her certain of doing this, at a point.

あ：He thinks he can talk down to us like we're just two dumb kids or something ooooh....

つ：[flatly] oh, you got hard fast.

あ：dissociates

つ：slides hand into pants. just jerks off so fast

あ：It's never so. fast

つ：tsukasa's hand of this deal is simply being face against amane's cheek and nuzzling and getting THE most upclose experience of him breathing and panting and shuddering everrr WOOOOOWWWW

[heavily] Thhis is ffun, Nene-chan…… [breathed into Amane's ear]

あ：the-- you should never be talking to your sibling if you can see/touch your penis. shouldn't be chest to chest with tsukasa in embrace while getting cock stroked. sirens going off. WE ARE IN DANGER

but i think delightfully it shuts his brain down enough that he has no freaking plan of escape and is just squirmbling… grapples, grasps tsukasa and nene intermittently, tight grasps! but i think she is scarily determined and unfettered by some sloppy pawing at

they both feel amane buck into her hand harshly as tsukasa speaks… shuddering… trying to choke down noises….

つ：nene-chan is very impressive, he thinks.....

あ：very clever girl!

つ：tsukasa-kun, maybe you could keep doing that…..

mmm, talking? uuehehehe

あ：nene onee-chan is in the room, has the mic. i think she could be soo needling and exact actually, like: I can feel that he likes you talking.

つ：😮

あ：hauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh reallyyyyy?

つ：make hanako grab his own face

あ：you are FLAYING HIM it sjust like NNGHFD!!! knocks off my hat

つ：Amane…. it's good if it's for Nene-chan, right…? Isn't it good? she wants this….. you're pleasing her! That feels good, doesn't it, Amane? You can't feel bad for doing something she likes

(why am I on blast….)

あ：(thats how it is girl…)

つ：he is chaotic alignment.

mm, mmm, you're giving her a show….! She likes us, you know….

あ：[hands claw at the front of tsukasa's shirt] [scrabble scrabble.. restless…]

つ：….[thinking about the show, for her, then] …… I love you❤️

あ：hanako has become the big show. [cock painfully, dramatically seizing in her grip] i think its so oo lfijgghf. like hg fkghf dont tsay yhtat while i am getting jerked off so hard ifkdgh ..f [leaks] [drips onto her]

つ：nene finally tongue-tied observing this. ack. ddndmn. boys simply can only keep pumping mindlessly

あ：its a lot to be right up against. sheeesh the intensity…

つ：petting Amaneeee... really stroking face, hair, back. no longer gripping him tightly in place...

あ：A good position honestly… i like how he could reach past tsukasa to touch nene for comfort too, pet her hair… not in any state to like… flee.. its like ooh…….. youve shrunk him…

つ：gaze BESEECHINGLY but helplessly. while bucking into hand. does this pleeaaase youuuuu

あ：is this really whatis wanted [whines.]

つ：shudders to hear him whiine so close.... also whines, like sympathetic animal

あ：help… the whacky shaaack [RUBS FACE AGAINST…]

つ：the threeway… was dangerous, always HYUUEEEE NUZZLING. STEAM COMES OFF HEAD

あ：nuzzling but in a manner like two possessed animals frenetic energy. we are not calming down from it

rub rub rub… ohh and the way tuggies can be sooo violent when youre feeling it like fucks hand soo hard. rhghfg… always feel insane when im feeling it THAT hard. girl isnt even moving her hand much

つ：at this point…. she is really just feeling his pace and intensity, it's mostly him now…. seeing them nuzzle… w… whoa…. never seen it like this… haven't imagined it like this…. ! s. sweet, right….

moves hands to weirdly touch his ribs, buttons of his gakuran

あ：auerrr.. dizzying… reflexively, hanako feels fear about something like this. gut clenches. you usually are trying to live your life so that you would never be in a position like this. [thinks] oh but the brain…! you know, i think everything that lead up to this has left him in a position where there's a voice that's just like.. wailing in the brain… like… 'why can't you just say it back… why can't you just say you love them…! why can't you just say it… i want to say it! i want to say it back… i do! i do want to…' [eyes squeezed shut, teeth bared] [shaking head back and forth] [pulling hips away in fear, pushing them back into grip harshly in desperation] … there's times where your own mental barriers are sooo at war with your raw raw brain being activated by sex.. like… it's as if someone has escaped prison and is trying to grab the mic -- QUICK, NOW!! N OW��� SAY IT!! say it say it say it say it.. say it. say it!!!!!! say it…. you don't even tell yashiro it, you're soo shitty, PLEASE, SAY IT!! SAY SOMETHING!!! [throat SEALED.] SAY IT [lips twitching, pulling] [swallowing, tongue curling] CMONN JUST.. [sound that dies off in 1 second, rghh SCALDING NOO MURI MURI IF FGHDF I CANT]

it should be fine it will be fine. they'd be so happy to hear it. you're fucking them, why wouldn't you want them to feel good. [bonk. bonk.] but also: [DYING, CRYING, FEEL LIKE BODY IS GOING TO INVERT, TONGUE HURTS, MUSCLES ARE TENSE!! REFUSE]

つ：a part of hanako that is like I HATE IT THE MOST IF I SAY IT IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE!!! [but it takes a circumstance like this to say it, the way it works]

あ：i dont want to do it like this NOOO its not faaair i dont want to ITS EMBARRASSING HA-ZU-KA-SHIII!! FSDHGJF NOOOO… but also like: I KNOW YOU WONT DO IT LATER!! ASSHOLE

absolutely NO way will you say it in a casual context!!!

つ：that is the problem . you wont even THINK about saying it later, when you're all comfortable when the world is your oysterrrrr

あ：the more he tries… really TRIES to say something.. the more its like.. [choking sounds..] [pulls own hair] … i think it really cannot even get close to the sounds… such a hump, its just like vague buzzing in the throat.

[mouth moving indistinctly]

つ：tsukasa listening attentively to the starts and stops.... can tell he's trying at something... which is interesting.

あ：but i think itd be cuuute if… like he has to pivot and hoarsely say 'help' amane needs. help [shaking tsukasa's shoulders slightly] [head hung]

つ：!!! … [whispering like child] from me, or Nene-chan

あ：who do i give the gun

つ：all good, and terrible options

あ：difficult. oh but you know… despite everything, i do think its like, it is nene who is assaulting me and i think he's kind of feeling an instinctive urge to hide against tsukasa. your little shriveled pea islike my gf is scary… brother help

its funny… when i think about the hindbrain tsukasa wouldnt do this to me😭

つ：kowaii nene-chan!!! ITS TRUE. your gf is scarier

あ：in response to tsukasa's question, amane's hands reach up and grab tsukasa's face weakly wordless

つ：ah! [oh its me!] [actually quietly enough to not be heard by nene, especially over all the rustling….] yes, Amane…?

あ：[simmering slightly… what is this ……….. it feels like we're under a blanket and tsukasa is talking to me in the middle of big kid stuff…] [.. shimmies closer. umm turns out , whispering helps the feeble sealed throat] i w. i want to… >///<;;;. say. stuff. [muttering] but s'harrd.d….

つ：hmmm... how can I help you say it?

あ：[groans...] i dont know.......!! ........ ... i dont know what my problem is.

つ：nene so fucking interested in fact whispering is happening. suddenly feels like damn they are brothers IM the fuckin third wheel omfg

あ：holy shit…! [but like respectfully] thats fair for now. [closes eyes]

つ：it is like. respectfully .

あ：its funny to like pause jerking off. but still hand on cock

つ：you can't let him escape but indeed. ceases pumping. they are. talkingit seems rude.

hmmm. do you want to say something good? or bad? its like lol is he trying to say stop or something nasty or something nice …/?? hmhmm

あ：its good to be wondering lol [hanako looking miserable] good…? [pinches brow, frustrated] no, wait, definitely good. you. you want to hear it. i just. [rhg!] i just want to… i want to be like. [RGH!!!]

つ：oh, something I want to hear….! [sound of a penny falling to the ground] do you want to ask to kiss?

あ：

you've made me so angry

つ：I'M SORRY HANAKO I'M SAYING YES TO THE MOMENT AND THAT IS WHAT TSUKASA WOULD SAY oh shit what i want? ok

あ：[distracted] you want to kiss. (fucking.. where the fuck am i!!!!!!!)

つ：nods it feels good

あ：uhuh. you know that

つ：they're talking so much.....

あ：its getting stupid out here [flatly] I don't want to say anything actually.

つ：fucking fsdklj;gkl;gjgklf;gg THIS IS HOW NARROW THE HOLE IS BUT ITS SO GOOD!!!! so ufunnyy.

あ：Unfortunately. Its gone there's no more urgency

つ：awe…..! okay…… …. nene-chan has paused. …. do you wanna finish

あ：you almost want to be like. No [sighs and slumps on] [just. reaches down and moves nene's hand] commence.

つ：o-oh..!!! c. continues?? tsukasa-kun… is he okay…..

un un…. [whispering to Amane again, much to nene's chagrin] amane asked me what i'd like to hear…. … there's too many of those to help you so, I'll never guess it.

you have to imagine tsukas'as brain trying to procure 'thing i want amane to say' is fucking. like. a cacophony of possibilities. and theyre mostly like. TSUKASA LET'S PLAY, TSUKASA LET'S HAVE A STARING CONTEST LIKE WE USED TO, TSUKASA I WANT TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER,

あ：hm things to make a guy horny honestly… you know amane's own nature keeps him suspended in things longer than necessary, you really put yourself into a state of being edged

so funny though youve kind of made it worse bc this time youre gonna b elike: kiss……… while getting jerked off again

つ：and then the ones Amane would especially not want to hear, the ill stuff like Tsukasaaaa let me do it againnnn, it felt so good [to stab you], Tsukasa you looked so good that day toooo, Tsukasaaaaa can I come on you

the fucking unending list of things Tsukasa Would Like To Hear. Would be a Tome

あ：hanako knows not what he is getting horny about i think its such a brainless reaction like oh you got so much huh

つ：lots.

あ：this is making suki feel like small potatoes

つ：in the grand scheme it is kind of small potatoes which is extremely funny its like, larger potatoes to NENE to overhear

like it would touch her heart. DONT GET ME WRONG TSUKASA WOULD LOVE IT AND BE VERY ENAMOURED TO HEAR IT!!!! amane is losing his mind over a single MINERAL

あ：no yes of course. oh its funny if. like despite the conversation devolving seemingly. that actually tsukasa took the edge off of things and hanakois like hwatever. i can say it in a roundabout way. like not how you think

つ：so effectively. so funny but it should work that way. like wtf

あ：you just made it feel so like [looks] [sighs while getting jerked off again] [leisurely almost] i love you too. there done. OHH everyone fucking clap now

つ：!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

あ：thats right

つ：[overlapping audio] AMANE!!!!

HANAKO-KUN!!!!

あ：[leaks]

つ：[ALL HANDS RUSH FORWARDS TO PET]

あ：(⊙_◎)

つ：AMANEEE AMANE AMANEEEEE AHAHAHHAHAHA I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR THAT!! [stomps foot] I WOULD I WOULD I WOULD!!!

[wiping a tear] ah… I did something….. !!! good for them…. this feels like something has been loosened….. I did something nice…. after all…

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!! Amane!!! [NUZZ NUZZ]

あ：[being assaulted, but stress has been diffused enough that he can just cough. loll head, eyes lidded still]

つ：I love you, too…..!

あ：I love you… [muttering.]

つ：[cracks voice bc he is so precious rn, wtf!!]

あ：[reaches and pets nene] [cups her face for a bit]

つ：a more elegant, delicate jerking motion, loving caresses

あ：well here i am… (￣、￣) and. indeed. this feels good. okay i did it. (￣﹃￣) i proved myself i close my eyes and ic ome. because ti is my choice

つ：nene snaking in to kiss him on the cheek comes peacefully

あ：i like to do it. [rests chin on tsukasa's shoulder]

つ：it pleases my compatriots.

nene after this is like. HOOUUUUUUUUhh… OOFs down like ahhh a hardworking girl, exhausted, emotionally…. but this ended so well…. pleased… satisfied…. mmm

あ：imagining hanako having become so placid he looks kind of dead-eyed and vacant

つ：[whispering, but audibly, to Nene. I dont need Amane to not hear this.] Thank you, Nene-chan…! I really liked it! its so fun to be right there!

あ：[loudly] I liked it too. [broken]

つ：turns

turns

あ：fkdghdf looks like fucking.. WHAT!!!!!!!!! "SORRY. should i say that i HATED it."

つ：both nene and tsukasa so like mmmmnn..g…h…. mmm…. mmm ah, they both laugh at him… giggly bubbly girlz

あ：what the fuck…………. [floats out of the room]

つ：continue giggling in a pile, facing each other…. for nene, it's an adrenaline rush finally like ah, petering off… wooo the butterflies, settling…! little tangle of limbs with tsukasa, hands intermingled, knees against one another…..

they will touch foreheads and laugh and have an odd atmosphere of nuzzling for a while. i wish i could make hanako regret leaving like he comes back and they are kissing lol

あ：loool yes oh my god the most like cucked feeling what hte fuck [angry]

つ：calmly kissing. happened organically. we didnt think about it

tsukasa was thinking about kissing and nene-chan was very keen on gazing upon tsukasa directly for once, not avoiding him, as that defeats the point of her new creed, and one thing lead 2 another, didn't think about it too hard

あ：Hanako whenever he forces his way between kou and nene. like slides myself in the middle physically descends on you two like an annoying weiner dog

visually i just love the thought of squirmbling over and descending between them. wergle wergle. chuffs.

つ：nene feels a bit shy about it like flkjsklf ah what HAS come over me omg… c. crazy day. feels slightly corrected (but a little amused….)…. tsukasa just feels LOL HAHA [cuddles j00 then. puts leg and arm around]

あ：[grabs her pussy] these actions happening simultaneously

つ：one motion nuzzle . doesnt notice you went for nene's pussy. just thinks we're snuggling all of us. ready for a naparoo

あ：[just wordlessly i continue to rub her pussy] its a crazy day indeed

つ：nene kinda feeling like a . oh i could get fingered… i was such a good girl for hanako-kun i did a good thing and I feel good about it, being fingered would be nice

あ：the receptiveness would make hanako feel like "sigh. i also would like to finger" but a funny atmosphere of doing this with tsukasa like. wrapped around. but like… allows it.

つ：some mutually comforting fingering for us. with tsukasa just latched affectionately, causing no problems. its like what nene did was increase possibility for things like… this. hanako technically in between them.

あ：you've greased the wheels… fingering nene… getting nuzzled… its good though…. mmm its almost like its… its easy enough to quietly use other hand to just pet tsukasa. rub…

つ：feeling the most, mmm my... dogs.... sigh. peaceful vibes. nene clinging and tugging, her girlish self. a kind of... nostalgic feel to how 'basic' this lil session is. nice for hanako

あ：can just get lost in the sauce of fingering. and we just enjoy that and do not engage in mental chess

siiiigh i want hanako's own stubbornness to kind of loop around into… like wanting to prove a point in how not big a deal this stuff is for me, look. but instead just entrapping himself in circumstances where he cannot escape the raw responses.. like. Look how cool and progressive i am (kisses Tsukasa on the head) or smtn. i lean over and peck on cheek. but then you are forced to live in the moment of both Nene and Tsukasa becoming [stare]

and also not being like brave still lakshfhd like youre so far from makeouts…

つ：i changed so much. i altered hanako's dna

whoa. o3o ….. tucks… against amane's back….

あ：humbling to be chuu'd

つ：one little step atta time!

i like that hanako will probably just like, decompress from THIS day… but spend remaining days just like. thinking about freaking… Nene… Tsukasa…. these freaks

she wants me to idk DO SOMETHING with him, he wants to, kiss me, nene would probably love to WATCH that…. i didn't ask for this this was not brought on be me, i wuld never instigate this .. BUT NEITHER WUOLD TSUKASA

あ：Why would Nene want me to look at Tsukasa while she jerks me off. wakaranai Didn't she just say that she would be too insecure if she was off to the sides. when justin is like. bitches be crazy

つ：bitches! be crazy!

あ：tsukasa definitely wouldn't do that like. i mean he hasn't.

つ：he is not that rogue.

あ：Even if……… like………….. on some technical level………….. Tsukasa would enjoy kissing me…. [don't like to think it.] …………… I mean, we literally lived and died together. And that's not what happened.

[self aware moment] I mean. Tsukasa… wouldn't. Force himself onto me. [mouth pressed into a line] I can clip him for just hugging me too much. [but you hate the self awareness] it's kind of my fault for not rejecting the situation harder earlier. bUT I WOULD BE MORE SANE IF YASHIRO HADN'T GOTTEN ALL COCK CRAZY

つ：its hard for a guy to think while he's being jerked off! i can't make decisions like that! i can't slice the pie!!!

あ：fucking.. what guy can say no to hottest girl he knows jerking him off!! of course it feels good wtf so it's her fault i guess

[literally stewing for hours] …. and tsukasa even TOLD yashiro that he is fine with things, and, HE IS, he's liable to stick his hands somewhere he shouldn't for a second but-- He's just not thinking, it's like when he'd make a grab for food too fast before mom set it down

つ：he's just childish like that it's YASHIRO who wants to.. take things to some, new level. For some reason….! Pervert… a perversion of my relationship

あ： Insatiable… Not satisfied with things as they are… for some reason It's not enough to be sitting on Tsukasa like some luxurious throne while I fuck her

つ：its not enough to be so spoiled, i have to be harassed…

do enjoy thinking about Hanako toasting himself internally while starting out/trying to drag nene mentally for being the weird one here. you just get to the point its inevitably like. depraved… horny,gf. bizarre, freakish girl, wants it to get so weird in here, ew, wants to swap spit with me and my little brother like a whore

[just laying like this for a long time] [notices he has a boner] N

あ：Hanako is making the air quantifiably more humid

つ：i love a guy alone in his bathroom at night with too much spare time to think. alone with boner

あ：Honestly I think about this so much. I mean it's actually kind of what my reoccurring bit is with Hanako, where -- in , shaming you for being horny about this, he goes on to describe things graphically and gets horny in teh act of doing it

I do think whenever it's like: Stupid slut.. what… you want me to fuck his face he's really stoking himself at the thought

つ：stroking himself

あ：I think also the format of bullying makes him get cruder and harsher than he would normally... but htis just makes him. horny!!!!!!!!!!

つ：not being eloquent guy no more

あ：While trying to be upsetting. its like whaaaaat... you wanna jus twatch... finger yourself.. while he jerks me off [losing vision]

つ：its his own fault. But it's a noxious cloud effect where it dissintegrates nene too much for her to be the one to call him out, and turns tsukasa into the one like [looks]

あ：You know when a character is just broke. and they walk themselves back into, like, having fantasies

Your brain like ran a maze incidentally. desperate for pleasure It just expands Hanako's brain to think in this format. you can suddenly see so many positions

つ：its one situation though where nobody can do basically anything... it will just be hanako rambling like a madman, horny, tsukasa getting hot wind into his brain like mnrgm? (has NEVER congealed this imagery in his LIFE)

nene recieving this like it'sa scolding, but its also things she could have NEVER congealed as imagery, either!!!

あ：the [chuckles im in danger kid] fused with [why would you draw that] meme

つ：dealing with the immediacy of the imagery hanako is creating images for everyone involved to be slack jawed at

[nobodysdaydreams]

Sophie, I gotta say. Your comments on my work have been above and beyond and are so wonderful. BUT A WHOLE GOOGLE DOC???? 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕😍😍😍😍

My wonderful friend, thank you so much! Praise and enjoyment of this level deserves a worthy response so without further ado...

My comments on Sophie’s Wonderful Chapter 16 Comments (I'll have to do Ch. 17 later):

First off, I love you that you love my stuff about the Helpers and what happens to the kids (the show just put it in the background, so I wanted to explain that a bit better). As for Milligan, he might have mentioned an Institute employee, but they had a lot to figure out (especially with the whole Kate reveal thing) so Garrison wasn’t exactly at the top of his priority list. at least not at the time.

“AND HE THINKS MR. BENEDICT IS JUST GOING TO GIVE HIM BACK TO HIS AUNT NO QUESTIONS ASKED.”

^I mean, his Aunt is his legal guardian. It would take a lot of effort for Mr. Benedict to fight for him (not that he wouldn’t). I like that you enjoyed the way I wrote Sticky. I don’t know if I’d say he’s the hardest to write, I actually think Reynie might be the most difficult to write for me, but it’s hard to say.

“Oh my goodness, Bods, you somehow nail this kid’s inner monologue so well every single time!! (I say as if you aren’t amazing at writing each and every character you try your hand at)”

^^ And... then I reread this right after I say Reynie is most difficult (mainly because he's the one that's most stereotyped as the "good, unflawed, angelic golden boy", so his conflicts and flaws are less obvious) but I'm glad you like what I wrote for him! Sorry that part about him wanting to live with Miss. Perumal, but being realistic made you cry.

And yes, Kate did tell them right away (and poor Nicholas of course blamed himself for what Nathaniel did).

I'm glad you liked the set up. I wanted to find a good way to begin the narration and account for the character movements that would end with them where they were at the end of Episode 1x8.

"Bods. Bods, I need you to understand that I absolutely adore how you handled Sticky’s family. I am so very over the moon about how you fixed it from being incredibly frustrating in the way the Show decided to go, while not completely ignoring what we see on-screen!!!!! You pulled in elements from the Books, and you weave such complex and satisfying stories for everyone in between the Show plot holes. I’m still crying over this"

^I'm so glad because I LOVED writing this! Sticky deserved a better story arc ending after they almost made him give into the Whisperer. And I also loved having Nicholas talk to him about it, because Nicholas understands how important family is, and how this is a complicated decision for Sticky (his aunt is toxic to him, but Sticky still cares about her, and there were other factors, but it doesn't excuse her actions), because Nicholas lived through that!

"Oooooooohhhhh, Bods. Your psychological and logistical explanations are fantastic. You put so much attention into every aspect, and it makes my analytical brain incredibly happy. The differences in anxiety, the way the Emergency adapted to mess with all kinds of people, the irrational fears. Beautiful"

^I LOVE thinking and writing about the Whisperer and Brain Sweeper's effects on different people. It's so much fun. Also your comments about the Washingtons just showing up on Mr. Benedict's doorstep was funny. No amount of security can keep away a determined parent (or apologetic guilt driven aunt).

So I'm not gonna copy EVERY quote about the Sticky scene (we'd be here all day), but I loved writing about how ending the Emergency had changed her, and Sticky connecting it to his own situation.

"The way you write her dialogue is heartbreaking. We don’t even know this woman’s name and I am instantly sobbing on her behalf. She’s so scared for Sticky, and she seems so sad. She lost her sister, who she was so close to once, and she almost lost Sticky."

^Okay, I'm really glad you liked this! I try to make all my characters seem like real people, and I was worried people wouldn't like me giving Sticky's aunt a slightly more sympathetic take, even if it was a more realistic and relatable one. But I'm glad it landed! (And yes she and Sticky both need hugs).

"THEY BOTH WANT TO TRY TO BE BETTER. AND HE’S WILLING TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL I WANTED AND MORE FROM THE SHOW THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH BODS" / "AND NOW WE GET AN EXTRA SCENE FROM THE AUNT’S PERSPECTIVE I WAS SCREAMING SO MUCH RIGHT HERE. JUST SPINNING IN CIRCLES REPEATEDLY" /"And then all the things you hinted at with his parents, and how you referenced that his mom was in a wheelchair, so many little leads and Book details!!!"

^It's all I wanted from the show too. As for the extra scene, that's mostly insurance. (Not sure if you've seen my post about Reynie and Sticky and the concept of an "unbalanced plot", but I can elaborate on that if you're curious.)

"Everything you write adds so much detail and depth and sympathy and such a complex view of how these characters are people. They feel real, like flawed, imperfect humans who are trying their best, but still make mistakes. I cannot stop thinking about how fantastic all of these characters have become in your hands"

Friend 🥹. I am hugging you through my screen rn. Thank you. 🥰

"AND THE SQ LINE. I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT. AND I’M CRYING ON THE INSIDE." / "SHE KNOWS KATE. SORT OF. AND SHE STILL REMINDS HER OF SQ."

^Yep. It all comes back around. And I'm glad you liked the way I rewrote some show scenes. It's tricky, because now that I finished chapter 17 and am jumping back into show content, there are some scenes where I don't include new plot details, but cutting them feels wrong (I do cut most of the kid's stuff since this fic focuses on the adult plotlines, but I don't want them cut completely, you know what I mean? It's tricky, especially since they are separated from the adults a lot in season 2, so I might just write mostly about the adults for the first three episodes and cut back to them later, especially since I didn't copy in their dialogue or movements. But we'll see).

"And she’s already started the paperwork!!! And she goes right into calling her mom Reynie’s grandmother!! And she wants to see him!!! THEY’RE A FAMILY"

^YES THEY ARE!

"And then Constance!! / Nicholas wants so deeply to make sure Constance is safe and loved. With all his heart he’s trying to do what’s best for her, and even though some of it is because of what happened with Nathaniel, he is aware of what his emotions are, and he appreciates Constance for herself!!!"

^Ah yes, he Constance and Nathaniel parallels (laughs in chapter 17...)

"And Constance has learned that her “colleagues” are different than she was expecting!! But she still doesn’t say it out loud because she’s still so defensive (Although I’d bet Mr. Benedict can read between the lines pretty well at this point)"

^AND DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE REFERRED TO HIS FRIENDS AS HIS COLLEGUES??? Our favorite theater kid (derogatory).

"Sticky saying he wants to go to Boatwright feels infinitely better in this context"

^I'm glad 🥰

“I see where this is going,” groaned Constance trying her best to act unimpressed and unemotional about the whole situation.”  / ASKFJKDFJKDSKJHDFSJKSDKJHDSJKDSFKJHDF OKAY / Poor Nicholas is such a disaster of emotions right now, but he doesn’t want to burden the others. He’s trying his best

^Poor Nicholas just got rejected by his brother and his daughter. He's... he's really going through it. I hope no one decides to take advantage of that /j.

"Curtain and Garrison trying to out manoeuvre each other with their crazy mind games is simultaneously very funny and very sad"

^It's sad, but incredibly fun to write, because (and you won't realize this for a bit) but my gosh Curtain and SOS Garrison are so similar, more than they realize.

"And then she thinks maybe Nicholas doesn’t care about using and hurting children!! Someone needs to put Garrison far far away from all this disaster and help her get over her trust issues. I have no idea how this woman sleeps at night."

^ Pills. Lots and lots of heavy sleeping pills :D👍🏻

"(However, it’s interesting that Curtain yells almost as if he’s panicking about where the kid is. You’re on a boat, my guy. Where could he have gone? You can really see how this makes Curtain’s downward spiral take a turn for the worse)"

^Curtain is such a bad father, and yet he loves his son. It's fun to write but your "he's...he's on a boat. Where do you think he'd have gone?" comment made me laugh...

"Isaac! He may not be there, but I do love him and some day I will finish my notes on how awesome Isaac and Lindsey’s hero moment is, because I still get giddy whenever I think of it"

^I'm glad you liked their subplot. Isaac and Lindsey are gonna fade back a bit, at least for now until I figure out what I want to do with them, but their hero moment was amazing (though poor Jackson and Jillson would disagree).

"Oh dear, Curtain’s first (And admittedly possibly absent-minded) reaction is to fire everyone except Garrison"

^Because she's his friend 🥺. And she's moved so many ethical boundaries to appease him, he figures she of all people wouldn't dare.

"You know, Bods, when you started hinting at this I was a little scared of it being Auguste, and now that he’s confirmed I’m so scared of what is going to happen next / However Curtain certainly deserves it for checking that he won’t be legally prosecuted for kidnapping and then taking him along for a ride without asking"

^He's studying abroad! ⚓🛳️

"Oh my oh dear. Poor SQ has literally no clue what’s going on. He’s such a mess!! I really want to give him a hug too. That must be so stressful for him :( / I KEEP FORGETTING THAT CURTAIN SWEPT HIM AND IT SCARES ME EVERY TIME I HAVE TO CONSIDER THE IMPLICATIONS"

^SWEPT HIM? Sophie, you keep harping on this. We have no evidence of what went on in that chapter. For all you know, maybe SQ really did fall. I see no reason to assume the worst.

"It’s infuriating how if you take Curtain’s vague explanations about Nicholas out of context they actually sound kind of semi-sane"

^I REALLY love this comment. More than you can imagine. Because it's Curtain's truth, he believes it, so of course it sounds sane to him.

"SQ!!!! NOT EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. STUPID BENEDICT FAMILY TRAIT OF EXTREME GUILT HARBOURING. SOMEONE HELP THIS CHILD"

^This comment also made me smile, though I'll keep the reason to myself. But yes, SQ has picked up on his father's habits and he needs help. (But I'm glad you liked the Curtain and SQ hug).

"Why is the whole of North America grouped like that? Adjkdjdfjkdjk. Like, if you get made in Georgia, then Canada is out too. It doesn’t really matter, but it’s such a funny wording thing it struck me as so silly"

^Because I don't know if Stonetown is in the US or Canada, so I'm covering my bases.

“He’d lost two perfect and loving parents, he’d always struggled to make friends and connect with other children, and now thanks to Nicholas, he might have lost his chance to go to the college that he wanted” / HOW ARE YOU SO CLOSE BUT ALSO SO VERY OFF THE MARK MY GOOD MAN???? He gets REALLY close to figuring things out, but all of his ridiculous, ingrained mental blocks are making him very blind to some very important facts

^Yeah. Like, no Curtain. Your brother destroying your evil plans isn't the reason your son is having difficulty going to college. YOUR EVIL PLANS are the reason your son is having difficulty going to college.

"“It was a quality Curtain secretly admired, and one that he had never been able to apply to himself, especially considering what he’d just lost” Also so very very excited by this line. It’s utterly gorgeous."

^Had to explain the back handed compliment somehow (and Curtain does mean it as sincere, even if it doesn't come off that way).

"Oh, Garrison. She is so scared, and she’s really desperate to leave, but it’s kind of interesting, because she’s missing so much of who she is since she brainswept herself, it’s kind of like this horribly unhealthy symbiosis with Curtain. Curtain is the only one who remembers the SOS, and therefore who she actually was for so many years, and he’s so forceful that he’s affecting a lot of her decisions. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s kind of railroading her into who he remembers her as (Emphasis on remembers). So I wonder who she’ll be once she actually gets away from Curtain. And whether or not she realizes it, he is a big part of her life, and I feel like having the last remnants of who she was (However twisted they are) stripped away is going to have some kind of effect on her…"

^She is missing a lot of who she is. And she's not the only one. Astute observation...

"The explanation of it being like a backup location for the Institute is genius!! I just assumed Curtain had more money than he knew what to do with and was also paranoid"

^I mean...he is paranoid and he does have more money than he knows what to do with. But the construction would take way more than a year, so I had to come up with something else.

“ “Those are Dr. Curtain’s lemons!” Jackson reminded him, “And you shouldn’t be stealing and throwing other people’s property!” ” Is an incredible line. I adore it so much, and it is something I can definitely see him saying. Like, visually. Astonishing / "AND THEN THE DEWEY LINE. I CAN’T EXPRESS HOW EXCITED I AM BY THIS AND ALSO CONFUSED AND SO VERY VERY AFRAID. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS, AS I’VE TOLD YOU. AND ALSO I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR WHATEVER TEACHERS HAD BOTH OF THEM AS STUDENTS IN THE PAST. AND ALSO THE KIDS. THEY NEED BETTER PARENTS"

^I love giving background characters the more insane plotlines. And I adored writing that line, because it is a very Jackson thing to say.

"THE ALPACA. BODS. YOU HAVE SUCH A FASCINATING RELATIONSHIP WITH THE ALPACA. WHY IS IT SUCH A PLOT POINT????? /j /j /j /j /affectionate /love you"

^Um...because he's the most complex and iconic character in the entire series? The fic is really about him if you think about it. /j /unless...

"Bods… I know I’m always saying that you make me like all these side characters, and talking about how talented you are, and not that you aren’t talented, but… I still really hate Marlon. / You gave him depth!! (As much as you could) And you made him more human!! (But he’s still awful)"

^You still hate him because I hate him. I can make any other character redeemable, but Marlon's interactions with Jackson and Jillson reminded me of some of my former coworkers, so I don't like him.

And thank you for enjoying my psychology rants! 🥰🥰🥰

"Something about Garrison being so upset that Curtain used the Happiness on a child gives me a smidgen of hope"

^Enjoy it while it lasts.

"AND HE FIRED GARRISON. I DIDN’T THINK HE WOULD EVER ACTUALLY DO IT. FEAR / Buuuuuuut he’s still keeping her. IT MAKES ME SO SAD. / They could have been such amazing friends, and now he’s literally keeping her prisoner at his cult against her will, and she’s terrified what he’s going to do D:"

^Yeah...the breakup of their friendship was slower than the others, but wayyyyy more destructive.

"Oh. Oh. Oh. OH NO / Garrison’s using the technique on him :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( / And he wants her to, because he’s so alone. He misses her, he misses his friends, he misses his brother. / “Curtain felt it again. That feeling he got whenever people complimented, praised or supported him. The feeling of the world around him getting brighter, calmer, safer. Finally, Garrison was acting like his friend again. She wanted to support him. She wanted to help him. She cared about him. And the more Curtain listened to her voice, the more he wanted to keep hearing it.” / THIS IS BARELY EVEN THE TECHNIQUE. HE JUST IS HORRIBLY HORRIBLY LONELY AND NEEDS A HUG /I can’t even express how sad I am over this. You write pain exquisitely well, and it’s such a burst of colours and emotions and sensations in my head. It’s like a gorgeous painting, and there’s this tinge of incredibly textured melancholy in each and every scene. A whole collage of memories and feelings that is truly magnificent. I know I’m rambling like a crazy person, but these are the only words I’ve got right now to tell you how much I’m enjoying your writing"

^I just kept all of this because I loved writing about the parallel attempts of them trying to use the happiness on each other and failing (like I said, more similar than they realize). And yeah... the Isaac thing really does make Curtain upset, because he realizes she betrayed him too. So he's hurt and angry all over again. And it gets worse each time it happens.

"SQ. Buddy. Buddy boy. Fandom’s child. You need some help. / He keeps wanting things to be “normal”, but he doesn’t even know what that means. He’s been living a fabricated “normal” his whole life"

^He really does need some help. The poor boy. But don't worry. I sense some help might be (slowly but surely) on the way...

"HE HASN’T THROWN YOU OUT BECAUSE HE’S A DELUSIONAL MANIAC BUT HE STILL LOVES YOU AND VALUES YOU AS A FRIEND / AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH / SHE’S SO SMART / I LOVE HER SO MUCH. SERIOUSLY SHE’S BECOME SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER TO ME BECAUSE OF THIS. I KNOW IT’S PROBABLY GOING TO HURT HER IN THE END BUT I AM ALSO ROOTING FOR HER. I’M SO CONFLICTED RIGHT NOW / Oh, oh, I want her to be happy so bad. SO BAD."

^I am forever so excited and pleased that so many people like Garrison because of my fic. Wasted potential in the show. Also her reaction to Curtain trying this on her is less angry than Curtain's, because she views him as an enemy not a friend, which did make me a little sad.

"Somehow you can so perfectly hit on the “wet cat” way the Show writes Mr. Benedict as well as his more triumphant, masterful moments."

^The poor nervous absent minded man. He's brilliant, kind, and wonderful, but oh... oh does he need therapy. And Rhonda and Number Two.

"Can’t articulate how much I love your work"

^I think you did a pretty good job... you did make a whole google doc (I love you so much for that)

"The ending of “Who?” / AHHHHHHHHH / Because they don’t KNOW who Garrison is!!!!!! /The dramatic irony!!!!! THE PAIN!!!! THE AGONY!!!!!!"

^I loved writing that. Especially because a lot of the character's don't interact with her and then in the root cellar they are like "hello Garrison", like...the show could have done more with that! (Or maybe not, because they couldn't get the actress back for long, which makes me sad).

"I swear, my notes are getting less and less coherent every time. This is a teensy bit rushed because I won’t let myself read the next chapter until I get this out, but please know!!! Even if it’s not up to par with my previous notes it’s not because I don’t like it!!!! It’s because I like it so much I’m really bad at actually saying it. To paraphrase Jane Austen, If I loved your work less, I might be able to talk about it more :) "

^This was perfect Sophie. I love your reactions, and thank you for enjoying my fic!

@nobody33333333 You've forced my hand

My S.O.S. notes have become too much for Tumblr to handle, so until I figure out a better system, I shall be sharing them like THIS (Chapters 16 & 17)

I don't know if anyone else cares to see my unhinged gibberish, but if you do, there it is :)

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

My Experience with Jane Austen Part 2: Reading the Books

In part one I laid out which books I read, which ones were my favorites and least favorites, and the adaptations I've seen. Now I'd like to talk about my reading experience.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, just a casual reader sharing some observations, feel free to correct me if I get some details wrong. Out of the books I’ve read I’m most familiar with Pride and Prejudice.

Let's face it. Reading Austen can be challenging and I understand why some people dislike Austen.

It's easy to perceive her novels as "boring" because on a surface level, not much happens. The characters are well-off people (in the upper half of society) who spend their time at home or traveling between social calls and it's easy to dismiss their conflicts as "first world issues." Settings are often indoors, reflecting how "confined and unvarying" the lives of the rich (especially women) were. The plots often move forward through dialogue or conversations rather than big dramatic events. The focus on marriage can also make the stories feel like antiquated relics of the past and can be hard to relate to.

The writing style is also different. There isn't much dialogue at times because Austen slips in lots of very subtle commentary or prefers to describe a character's external appearance or characteristics. Often big events like proposals are described briefly after they happen rather than during, which can make the story feel rather "dry." The books are narrated in third person and sometimes there is unreliable narration (Pride and Prejudice) where we get characters' multiple points of view, but all narrated in the third person as to give each one credibility and prove that it's hard to trust others. Austen's writing style means that readers have to fill in the blanks with their imagination. For example, she doesn't give exact physical descriptions of her characters, often relying on general characteristics like "tall," "handsome," or "amiable." In my previous reviews of Pride and Prejudice adaptations, I explored that intentional ambiguity as a big reason why the character of Mr. Darcy is alluring--because the reader forms a personal connection with the character by sketching his portrait alongside Elizabeth. The characters (their physical appearance and some of their motivations) are purposely mysterious and while it gives the reader lots of opportunities for engaging with the text, without historical/literary context for "filling in the blanks" it's easy to see the characters as stiff mannequins in strange clothing rather than human beings.

Austen as a romance writer: Her romances don't always match up with our perception of what a romance should be. Some people start Austen expecting intense emotions and outbursts of passion but become disappointed when presented with formal courting and stately dances instead. Emotions are often veiled behind dialogue and for a first-time reader it can be challenging to see a romance developing. Most of the time readers have to rely on the clues given by Austen (descriptions of characters "blushing," looking "pale," or losing their composure) to detect the stirrings of love, but on a first reading it's difficult to do so when one's trying to figure out the plot and the characters. Finally, the dialogue can't always be taken literally; lots of people, including me, were disturbed when Mr. Knightley said he loved Emma since she was 13, but it was actually a joke made in response to something she said.

Her books are products of their time, and I sure am not an expert in Regency era economics or social norms. Sometimes the implications of certain actions can be lost on a reader if they don't know about the social norms of the time (I had no idea that Darcy following Elizabeth around, alone, on her favorite walk at Rosings was a sign of his love for her). Differences in social class are also very subtle and while one can generalize the characters as all "well-off" people, they are separated by many levels of hierarchy and their ideas about social position and status affect how they interact with others outside of their station. Darcy looks down upon those whom he perceives to be below him, and while Emma wants to make an advantageous match for Harriet, Harriet's lower social position means that Emma's schemes are not likely to work.

Because of the unique quirks within the novels, the reader is required to go beyond the surface level of plot and appearance and read between the lines to understand character motivations and actions. Without historical context (Regency era society having little social mobility, women having few legal rights and needing to make good marriages to secure material comfort) or literary context (the Enlightenment, 18th century Gothic novels referred to in Northanger Abbey, the birth of the novel, early Romantic writers just to name a bit) reading between the lines is nearly impossible.

So why do we read Austen? Below are my personal reasons.

The novels feature female heroines that have dignity and self-respect. It's significant that the stories focus on women who are trying to live according to their own values and speaking their own minds rather than acquiescing to societal dictates. Elizabeth Bennet is revolutionary in part because she wants a marriage based on mutual admiration and respect between two partners who know each other well, rather than an economic arrangement for a home. One could go on forever about how Austen is a feminist, but, the characters don't act like modern day feminists--they are still people of their time. However, it's easy to assume "feminist" heroines have to have "aggressive" characteristics (rebelling, fighting, defiance) in order to be labeled as "feminist." Importantly, Austen's women are allowed to be vulnerable (they cry or struggle with their emotions) without that being a shameful thing. We also see different types of personalities celebrated: Jane Bennet, who is kind to everyone, is seen in a positive light rather than shamed for seeing good in everyone. Anne Elliot, who is regarded as "old," becomes more beautiful as she gets older and has a second chance of love. Emma Woodhouse is spoiled yet confident and assertive and "not likely to be well-loved" (paraphrase of Austen's commentary on Emma). Fanny Price is a shy person but still achieves her happy ending. Her heroines are real people who have flaws and get opportunities to learn and grow so that they can make their aspirations reality.

A unique take on the universal conflict of humans versus society: Austen's characters are bound by social norms of etiquette as well as a value system that idolizes wealth and connections above all else. Persuasion is a great story in part because it focuses on how Anne Elliot learns to follow her heart and avoid being "persuaded" by others (and by society) to follow a path that will not make her happy. She's had to live with the regret of following the well-intentioned but harmful advice of others (Austen notes that Lady Russell values social connections too highly) over her own feelings and judgment, nearly losing her chance to be with Wentworth. The romances are significant in that they reinforce the dignity and self-respect of the female heroines. To a certain extent, Austen's stories are realistic in that marriage is necessary for material well-being in a patriarchal society that provides few ways for women to provide for themselves. But most importantly, she also sees marriage as a means of affirming self-respect and dignity of the women. It's one of the few parts of their lives over which they have any control because they get to choose whom they marry (for the most part, unless the marriage is arranged). Their wish to marry for love is revolutionary because they dare to aspire for something more than wealth. They want their future partners to be their equals, someone who they can love and respect (or be totally honest with them) and who will provide the same in return. This line from Emma (the 2020 movie adaptation) sums it up: "I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Fame I do not want. Fortune I do not want. Consequence I do not want."

The difference between outward appearances and inner character is a fascinating theme that appears in several Austen novels, most notably Pride and Prejudice, where Wickham and Darcy are foils of each other ("one has got all the goodness, the other all the appearance of it"). A lot of the villains in Austen's novels are those who deceive others about their motivations or lie for their own advantage. A common trait these villains all have is that they have a charming outward appearance that masks their true natures; they don't look ugly nor are they unpleasant (ex. Wickham having great social skills, Willoughby following the trope of the knight rescuing Marianne as the damsel in distress but leaving behind many broken hearts, Mr. Elliott being charming and knowing exactly what to say and how to act but actually a swindler). In contrast, the "good" characters are honest, even at the cost of social displeasure, use manners/etiquette to show respect rather than deceive people, and act selflessly to prove their worth (actions speak louder than words). It can be summed up this way: "don't judge a book by its cover."

Psychology: Austen very effectively described hindsight bias when sarcastically commenting on how the village of Meryton turned on Wickham after the elopement with Lydia, when previously they regarded him as an "angel of light." She also understands how easy it is to manipulate peoples' minds through confirmation bias (Wickham telling Elizabeth all the dirt about Darcy, which she eagerly takes because she hates Darcy so much). She also knows that emotions can override people's judgment: "angry people are not always wise." It's fun seeing how her people are social animals who make flawed judgments based on first impressions/emotions.

The secondary characters: Mr. Collins the clergyman is the most famous and he's so funny because of his arrogance in spite of his low social position (he keeps worshiping Lady Catherine instead of respecting God). Another great one is Sir Walter Elliott, a nobleman who is vain and constantly checks himself in the mirror (the most obvious social criticism). Also Austen understood how women insult each other: through passive aggression (ex. Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst talking negatively about Elizabeth behind her back). Austen's female bullies use their talent and "good breeding" to intimidate or shame others.

The romance (no explanation needed): "You pierce my soul. I am half-agony, half-hope. I have loved none but you." I love how the couples learn about each other through many spirited conversations and become slowly fascinated with each other until they realize they are in love and then have a conflict between formality and their growing passion...or they fall back in love with each other...or they are friends who slowly realize that they are more than friends...okay I'll stop talking nonsense I've been trying so hard to be semi-scholarly

Tags: @talkaustentome @austengivesmeserotonin @austengeek @princesssarisa @appleinducedsleep @colonelfitzwilliams

[jazy3]

Free Guy Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven’t seen the movie Free Guy (2021) stop reading right now! Drop what you’re doing and go get yourself a ticket! You’ll thank me later!

I loved this movie! I saw it this weekend for the second time because it’s that good! I first saw the trailer on YouTube a while back and then when theatres reopened a few weeks ago I saw the trailer again and my interest was piqued. I had high hopes for this movie based on the fun looking trailer, the premise, the cast, and the sense of fun and escapism that the movie seemed to embody and it did not disappoint. It’s always nice when you have high hopes for something and it meets or exceeds your expectations.

Free Guy is just such a fun and joyous movie. Never taking itself too seriously, packed with lots of heart, cool cameos, full of gaming and pop culture references, and it’s fueled by a unique concept that is well executed. There are just so many things I loved about this movie! It was a ton of fun to watch and the actors clearly had a blast making it. During the movie I kept trying to figure out where I knew most of the actors from but couldn’t place them. When I got home, I googled it and I instantly realized why. The roles are just so different and the actors embody their characters so completely you lose yourself in the film and get completely sucked in. I was honestly so surprised when I figured out what I knew most of the actors from because the roles that they’re known for are so different from their characters in the movie. Their appearances, established ages, and even the accents are so different that I literally did a double take, but that’s what makes the movie so good! Because the main actors obviously didn’t need the paycheque they were just there to have fun and it shows. I think if the situation had been different and the actors involved had been desperate for money or took the role for some other reason it wouldn’t have worked. The film would have come off as cheesy, forced, cringeworthy, or just plain bad. Free Guy is none of those things. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as ‘Guy’ a bank teller in a video game called Free City, Jodie Comer whose best known for playing Villanelle in Killing Eve as programmer Millie Rusk and her avatar Molotov Girl, Joe Keery whose best known for playing Steve Harrington in Stranger Things as programmer Walter ‘Keys’ McKey, and Taika Waititi whose best known for playing Viago in What We Do in the Shadows as the Head of Soonami Studios and the film’s main antagonist and villain Antwan. Rounding out the cast are Utkarsh Ambudka as programmer Mouser and Lil Rel Howery as Guy’s best friend and bank security guard Buddy. In a nutshell, Free Guy is about a bank teller named Guy who finds out he’s a non-playable background character (NPC) in an open-world Grand Theft Auto style video game called Free City. Guy becomes the hero of his own story after meeting Millie, the girl of his dreams, and winning fans all over the world by racking up points by being the good guy and helping others. After leveling up and helping Millie escape a dangerous situation in the game, Guy wins her over and she falls for him thinking that he’s another player. But when the world that Guy knows and all of the people in it are threatened, he teams up with Millie to save his friends before it’s too late. In the real world, Millie enlists the help of her former programming partner and best friend Keys in a race against time to stop their code and all of the sentient characters from Free City from being deleted by Antwan the developer who stole their code when the game’s sequel launches. I love that the movie had a unique premise and didn’t overcomplicate things. There are so many movies that I’ve gone to see over the last few years with such excitement only to be disappointed. For example, I loved Wreck It Ralph, but was so disappointed by its sequel Ralph Breaks the Internet. The trailers made it seem like it would take the premise of the first movie and move things into the online gaming world, and I was excited for that. Instead, the sequel left the premise of the first movie behind entirely and way over complicated the plot and the end result was extremely cheesy and disappointing. Free Guy’s strength is that it’s a self-aware movie made by self-aware people who are excellent at what they do. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it, and that allows the story to flow and the characters to feel real and genuine. The movie achieves that perfect balance between being entertaining and telling a cohesive and important story because while the movie never takes itself too seriously the people behind it are serious about what they do. This was very clearly a passion project for all involved, especially Ryan Reynolds, and it shows! As he’s spoken about in interviews and on Twitter, Reynolds called on a lot of his friends to be in Free Guy and help him out and the end result was fantastic! I loved all of the cameos! The Chris Evans cameo was by far the funniest and the Alex Trebek cameo got me right in the feels. When I saw the movie in theatres me and everyone else in the theatre gave a collective “awww” when he appeared on screen. Enlisting real YouTubers to show up as fictional versions of themselves to talk about Blue Shirt Guy’s popularity was a nice touch and you’ve also got blink and you miss it voice cameos by John Krasinski, Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Tina Fey. Channing Tatum appears as the avatar of player Revenjamin Buttons which for the most part was hilarious. One of my few criticisms of the film is that they went a bit overboard the avatar’s antics as Guy and Buddy are attempting to leave and it got bit a cringeworthy. But I know other people found it hilarious so to each their own. I love all of the little details and references in the movie. Just listing them all would be a post in itself. If you’re someone that loves pop culture references and Easter Eggs this is the movie for you. The characters are fun and believable, and you get attached to them quickly. The actors commit completely to their roles which is makes the humour, romance, and heartfelt emotion of the film work. You buy it. 100%. Something that I absolutely loved was that the characters felt realistic and that the dialogue, attire, and settings for each character really felt authentic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a movie or TV show and walked away thinking, “The person who wrote that clearly never meet a kid, teenager, or twenty something in their life! That was so unrealistic.” The slang’s all wrong. The dialogue is so eloquent everyone sounds like they did Shakespeare in the Park last summer. You walk away thinking, “What the hell was that? No one talks that way!” What I loved about the characters in Free Guy is that they felt like real people you could actually run into or walk past on the street. I’ve read in interviews that in addition to the written dialogue the cast did a lot of ad-libbing and improvisation and the end result is both hilarious and relatable. The dialogue feels real because it is. The big exception to this of course is Antwan who is altogether off the wall and ridiculous. Antwan is such an outrageous, absurd, vulgar, and cartoonish character. He’s so fun to watch and the actors clearly had a lot of fun with his scenes! I’ve read that a lot of his lines with Keys and Mouser were improvised and I believe it. When he goes all Jack Nicholson on the servers? Lord. He’s such a great villain to watch. The characters that are established to be in their twenties like Millie, Keys, Mouser, and the other employees at Soonami Studios talk, act, and dress like they’re in their twenties. The actors that are in their forties are styled to look like they’re in their thirties and honestly, they’re in such great shape it works! I mean I was honestly shocked to find out Taika Waititi’s real age. I love how the costuming really fits each character and allows you to learn more about them. Keys’ clothing is your typical gamer chic which makes because as we learn from his interview with Millie coding is his life and what gets him up in the morning. From Mouser’s clothing we learn that he’s a sports fan, but also isn’t afraid to take risks like with that blazer ensemble he wears in his final scene at Millie’s apartment.

Millie’s clothing shows the contrast between her and her avatar Molotov Girl, and Antwan’s ridiculous coat enhances the overall wackiness of his character. Guy’s clothing tells us something too. He wears the same thing every day until he meets Millie in the game at which point, he starts deviated from his Free City programming and chooses a different blue shirt. I also really love that they put thought into why Keys needs to wear glasses. Something I noticed on rewatch is that Keys is far sighted which is why he has his glasses on when he’s looking at his laptop or computer and sometimes when’s talking to other people, but not when he goes to see Millie at her apartment or when he goes to get them coffee at the end of the movie. Another interesting aspect of Keys’ character that I noticed on rewatch is self-confidence is really something he struggles with in contrast to Millie and Mouser who are very confident. Millie is a genius programmer and Mouser is excellent at what he does, and they are both very confident in their coding abilities, but Keys isn’t despite being every bit the genius that Millie is. At the beginning of the movie when they first notice the issue with Guy Mouser jokes that Keys needs to be better at his job. In response Keys meekly says he thinks he’s pretty good at his job and trails off at the end. Mouser is just joking around, but because Keys lacks self-confidence comments like that hit him hard. Mouser is moving towards his own desk as he talks so he doesn’t notice how self-deprecating and uneasy Keys’ response is. In the interview from the indie games conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment, he brushes off the interviewers comment that he’s a genius and says Millie is the real genius because she created the AI engine and he just wrote the code to make it work. Later on, when Keys helps Millie get into the stash house, she calls him a genius and he tells her that as he’s currently sitting on a toilet stealing user code he doesn’t exactly feel like one. Millie responds offhandedly that he never does, but luckily, she knows better. When Keys realizes that Millie was right, and that Antwan did steal their code and their game worked he tells Millie they need to celebrate because once everyone sees their build she’ll be celebrated and she could win a noble prize. Both Millie and Keys are geniuses in their own right. The game wouldn’t have worked without both of their skills and Guy wouldn’t have come to life without both of them working together. Millie’s AI engine made his sentience possible, but Keys is the one who gave him hopes and dreams so that when he met Millie in the game, he came alive. When done right the settings we see tell the story just as much as the characters do and I love how realistic the settings in Free Guy look. The floor at Soonami Studios where Keys and Mouser work looks like a real office and I love that the desks have clutter and personal effects on them like real cubicles do and that they show Keys taking a box of his stuff with him as he leaves. The lobby with the moving water videos and Antwan’s massive but largely empty office fits perfectly with the obnoxious, zany, and over the top character that he is. I also love the contrast between Keys and Millie’s apartments and how those settings tell us a lot about each character and where they are in their lives when the film starts. When Keys comes home from work to find that Millie has broken in, we see that he lives in a stylish one bedroom apartment with an open concept kitchen full of stainless steel appliances, a large living room centred around an expensive wall mounted TV and entertainment system, with his computer and gaming station set up in the corner. On the walls we see artful clusters of black picture frames, through a partially open door we see a bedroom off to the side, the apartment is full of black and white furniture including a plush couch and nice lamps, and features a textured silver accent wall. All of which makes the fact that Millie managed to break in even more impressive because it is clearly an expensive apartment in a nice building. Keys’ style is minimalist and upper scale and based on what we learn about the events that took place before the start of the movie this indicates that Keys got the apartment and all of the nice stuff in it using the money he received when Antwan bought his and Millie’s game. In contrast, Millie lives in a bachelor apartment and spends her time in coffee shops ordering one single black coffee over four hours. This tells us that she kept her original apartment that she had from before the game was sold and is living off the money she got from the sale while she spends all of her time trying to find the proof she needs to win her lawsuit. When we see Millie’s place, we find that it’s cozy, full of plants, throw rugs, quilts, and comfy furniture. She’s got a bike in the corner, you can see her bed from the centre of the room where she’s got her computer and gaming station set up adjacent to the coffee table and the rest of the living room furniture. Her kitchen is smaller and full of wooden cabinets and her bathroom door has DIY multicoloured square panels on it. Keys and Millie’s apartments are very different and through these settings we see the contrast between where these characters are in their lives, their wealth, and their personal style. The song ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey is featured heavily in the film and is guaranteed to get stuck in your head in the best way! Jodie Comer’s cover of it is amazing! It fits the moment where Guy makes it to the island that is Millie and Keys’ original build and shows it to the world perfectly. This movie made me appreciate Mariah Carey’s music in a whole new way and I can’t be the only way. After watching the movie, I went looking for the song on Apple Music, wound up listening to the Mariah Carey Essentials Playlist, and I’ve become obsessed. I knew some of her hits, but after listening to her music more I get why people love her so much. Her five octave vocal range is amazing, and her music is just so fun to listen to. The film has a really great soundtrack overall and I’ve had many of its song on repeat since I saw it. Something I really loved about this movie and the reveal at the end that Keys is in love with Millie and is desperate for her to notice, but she’s been oblivious the whole time is that they don’t do the supposedly nice nerdy guy whose really a jerk trope. So many movies do this where you have a nerdy male character whose unluckily love, looked over, or his love is unrequited, and we’re supposed to root for him because he’s a quote “nice guy”. But really, he’s not. He’s a jerk who feels slighted because a woman in his life doesn’t love him back or notice him and he feels as if she owes him something. The scene at Millie’s place where Millie tells Keys he looks cute when he brags, and Mouser encourages him to tell Millie how he feels is super frustrating to watch but it’s so important to Keys’ character. He asks Millie out for coffee and when she turns him down to jump back into the game, he doesn’t make a big deal about it even though Mouser wants him to. Instead he gets up and goes and gets her a coffee anyway. She goes to tell him her order, oblivious to the fact that he’s memorized it, he tells her he remembers, and goes to get the coffee anyway much to Mouser’s and the audience’s dismay. This is big because Keys clearly doesn’t want to be walking down the street by himself to get coffee. He wants to be getting coffee with Millie so that he can tell her how he feels to see if she might feel the same way, but when she turns him down he goes and gets the coffee anyway because he truly loves and cares about her and he values their friendship enough to put his own feelings aside and suffer in silence rather than lose her and what they’ve built. So, he takes the opportunity to get some air rather than continue to sit there in disappointment. Which is why he’s so confused when Millie runs after him and calls out to him from across the street. He doesn’t understand what she’s doing there. She turned down his offer to get a coffee and he already knows her order so why is she there? I love that they chose to make that scene non-verbal. I think if Millie had come out and made some big declaration of love it would have felt cheesy and overdone. But her running after him and silently communicating through her smile and body language that she understood and that she felt the same way was perfect. It was subtle and beautiful and perfectly acted. It also felt realistic to the characters because in real life when you’ve known someone a really long time and you’ve spent a lot of time with them you don’t always need words to convey what you mean. What Millie wanted to express in that scene was so big and so all-encompassing she couldn’t find the words to say everything that she wanted to say so she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled knowing that being the genius that he is he would understand. It’s like Keys says in their interview, words will fail you, but code never does. His coding worked and now she understands so rather than try and say it all and fail she just looks at him and smiles to show him that she finally gets it. She finally understands what he’s been trying to say to her all this time. And you can see the exact moment Keys realizes why she’s there. The moment where he goes from being confused as to what she wants to realizing that she saw the video and she knows how he feels and that she wouldn’t be standing there smiling at him like that if she didn’t feel the same way. When I watched the scene the first time around, I was anxiously clutching my nachos the entire time because when Keys ran towards her my immediate thought was, “Oh my god he’s gonna get hit by a car and they’re never gonna get to be together! Oh my god!” But then he didn’t get hit by a car and Millie ran out to meet him and for the first time in their relationship she met him halfway and they kissed and it was beautiful! I think because Free City had so much violence in it that’s where my mind went and I’m very glad they didn’t go that route. One of my only criticisms about the movie is that I wish they had stayed on Millie and Keys just a little bit longer. They kiss and embrace and then very quickly they cut to black. I wish they’d linger on that moment just a little bit longer because I love those characters so much and in the scene that follows where Guy and Buddy are reunited we see them hug and then walk away together to start their new lives and I wish we’d gotten just a bit more time with Millie and Keys. I also really loved the parallel between the different kinds of relationships within the movie and how platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. The reveal at the end about Guy being Keys’ creation and a love letter to Millie and her realizing she’s been loving Keys vicariously through Guy and them finally coming together and being on the same page is beautiful because from the very beginning the movie is full of clues, hints, and foreshadowing that all comes together at the end. Meanwhile, we see the friendship between Guy and Buddy and how important that friendship is to him because it’s something that he created on his own. His love for Millie is born out of the programming that Keys gave him, but his friendship with Buddy is something that Guy created all on his own of his own volition. Which is part of what makes Buddy’s death on the bridge so tragic. I cried when Buddy disappeared. Reynolds and Howery play their characters with such sincerity that his death pacts an emotional punch you don’t expect. I love that the security guards at Soonami are so moved by Buddy’s heroism and are so captivated by what’s happening with the live stream that Millie is able to sneak past them into the server room and stop Antwan from destroying what’s left of the game. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that during the final battle after Millie gets booted from the game and Guy has to fight Dude on his own the glasses he’s wearing are very similar to the ones Keys wears in the movie which I thought was a cool nod to Guy being Keys’ creation. This really is a movie in which you find something new every time you watch it. For instance, the second time around I noticed that the foreshadowing that Keys is in love with Millie, but she’s oblivious to it because she’s so focused on the game was really well done. In the video from the indie game conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment when asked by the interviewer about their chemistry Millie responds first and says that their friends, their relationship is completely platonic, and laughs off the idea that they have chemistry. In contrast Keys falters and is silent and then eventually says meekly that they’re just friends. Millie is looking ahead at the interviewer and to the side away from Keys as she’s laughing and so she doesn’t see Keys’ reaction. At the end of the apartment scene after Millie breaks in to ask Keys for his help, he tells Millie he cares about her and he almost says something else. It feels like he’s about to say, ‘I love you’ but then he catches himself and instead tells her that she needs to leave. When Keys visits Millie’s apartment to tell her that she was right and they’re sitting on the couch he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee and then snatches it back when he realizes he’s gotten too close. He wants so desperately to be closer to her and in his excitement, he gets closer than he normally would before realizing that putting his hand on her knee in that close proximity is not a platonic gesture. Millie is so caught up in the realization that Guy, the person she’s fallen in love with, is an AI and not a real person that she doesn’t notice. My heart broke for Keys in that scene as he realized that Millie had fallen for Guy and kissed him and was so upset about it and meanwhile, he was right in front of her desperate for her to see how much he cares. It must have just wrecked him to go home that night and realize that Guy was based on the lovelorn character he created and that Millie had fallen in love with his creation while at the same time being so oblivious to his real world affection for her. In the scene at Millie’s apartment after they’ve gotten the server from Antwan and Mouser encourages Keys to say something, I noticed on rewatch just how weak and meager Keys’ attempt to ask Millie out is. He stumbles his way through asking her to get a coffee and trails off at the end so it’s no wonder Millie doesn’t clue in that he’s trying to ask her out. And in Keys’ defence he sent her a whole video confessing his feelings for her and all of the little things he loves about her and then told her to watch it and he has no idea if she did or not. We the audience know that Millie only saw half of it, but Keys has no idea if she saw none of it, part of it, or all of it. He knows she got Guy to remember, but she’s also sending him mixed messages. One minute she’s saying he’s cute when he brags and the next, she’s turning him down for coffee to talk to Guy. From the outside it’s so obvious that Keys is in love with Millie, but she doesn’t see it because she’s always looking the other way, not paying attention, so caught up in the game, and too focused on their work to see what’s right in front of her. On rewatch one of the big things I noticed is that Keys is always on the edge of telling Millie how he really feels but he always stops himself because she brushes him or the idea off and because he’s scared of what will become of their work and their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a huge leap. If Millie doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to make their relationship incredibly awkward and could potentially destroy their partnership so Keys decides it’s better not to say anything or only hint at how he feels rather than run the risk of ruining everything. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that in the interview they give Keys says he thinks of himself as an author and that code is what gets him up in the morning and that he loves the ones and zeros of binary because words can fail you and let you down but code never does. At the end of the movie when Millie goes to talk to Guy in Free Life he tells her that he loves her and while he knows that’s his programming he’s realized that he’s a love letter to her and that somewhere out there in the real world is the author. Such a great callback. All in all, I can definitely say that Free Guy has been my favourite movie so far this year! Definitely my favourite movie of the summer. I went to see it twice in theatres and I’ve never done that for any other movie before. I’ll rewatch them at home sure, but I’ve never actually paid money to see something twice on my own. I’m very excited to see the sequel and my hope is that it will be just as good as the first.  Until next time.

[aurhia]

Aquarius and Aquila for constellation asks?

Aquarius - Who’s your least favorite character to write?

Ooh, this one's tough. There aren't any that I actively dislike. There are, of course, some I have more fun with than others, but none of them so far that I try to avoid. I would say, rather than a particular character, it's a stage in the character's development. There's a period between "idea" and when I really have them in my head and feel them, in the space between those two it's really hard to write anything for them. Anything I do end up writing usually gets rewritten later, including simple things like their backstory.

This is more a problem for characters I'm going to be playing in RP than for straight up writing, because characters for writing form out of a need for a particular kind of character to fill a space in the plot or setting, so they come with certain things pre-loaded. For example, the lyrics I've posted that were supposed to have been written by my Aarakocra bard, Sid Greenfeather; her present day is very easy to write about or write into, but when we first started the game, I needed a quick backstory for why I was where the rest of the party was and I've never been happy with that. I chip away at it a little here and there now as things come up in game.

Aquila - What do you do when you’re stuck in your writing?

Realistically, I flip over to youtube and watch random things, go make coffee, or procrastinate by doing a different task.

But if I need to write something and I have a block on it, I will switch over to work on something different in tone and setting. If I'm working on fantasy and get stuck I'll go write some fic for my cyberpunk rpg character. Or I'll write a song or poem. Or some music.

If that doesn't work, I revisit my outline for what I'm writing. I find that usually writer's block on a piece is more about a problem in where I'm trying to take it than with anything else. If it's not working, I analyze the fuck out of it until I figure out why. I've got a series of tools and questions I've picked up down the years that I use to break down scenes and plots, and if I'm having character problems, I bring in some acting tools for script analysis to apply to the dialogue and character motivations.

Then I mechanically fill in the writing to match my "fixed" idea. If the words are stupidly simple and lack description, that's not a problem in a first draft. You just need to move your characters from point A to point B and you can polish the details of how in editing.

[angleofmusings]

Hello there! Sorry to be on anon, but, I was curious if you had any advice for writing stuff like general platonic love, QPRs and how a...Sorta romantic thing would work for an aroflux person? I don't know how else to describe it, sorry if that's rude.

I'm writing a fanfic, and I really wanna include QPRs and other aro stuff since those need appreciation, but I'm a loveless aro so I have no idea how. I just know loveless stuff of course, but that's only one part of aros. So, I'm trying to figure out how to do that before writing that part of the story.

It's fine if you don't have any tips or don't want to answer for any reason by the way! /g

Okay, so disclaimer here that my writing is like usually “romantic if you squint hard enough” but in general the easiest way to create realistic relationships imo is to make a list of activities etc that the characters are comfortable doing and how exclusive they are about it, and then work elements of that into the story.

For instance, if Alice and Bob are in a QPR, you can come up with a list of things they do together— maybe Alice only watches The Voice when Bob is there with them, but they listen to new Taylor Swift albums with someone else. Or Bob is comfortable with hugging all of their friends, but they only cuddle with Alice. Establish a clear dynamic that is distinct from both platonic and romantic relationships between other characters, and you can always throw in a couple lines about how they’ve got a weird relationship that isn’t really romantic or platonic.

A great way to do this in a more fantasy style setting is with overdramatic yet familial declarations of their devotion to each other: something like “I will protect you with my life; you are as the blood of my blood, my sibling in all but name.” If it’s a modern setting, of course, you can have fun with words like squish and zucchini, or find historical terms to use instead. (“Roommates” can be good, though it does often get interpreted as academic erasure of queer romance.)

Basically, it boils down to two main things: establish a strong relationship, and make it specifically not romantic.

Wrt aroflux characters, I guess my advice would be to clearly illustrate when that shift has happened, and that can be using dialogue (“I’m not really up for being a couple right now, let’s be friends for today” contrasted with stuff like “hey everyone, this is my partner Bob”) or with actions (physical affection in different ways/amounts, more terms of endearment being used when more romantic attraction is felt, getting flustered easily).

I will also add that I personally identify with being fully aromantic and it’s just my general opinion of romance that tends to fluctuate, so if any aroflux writers or readers want to weigh in, please do listen to them.

[ladykissingfish]

Got tagged by someone to do this and a bunch of other games, this was the one I’m most interested in. Not gonna mention you on here because I don’t want your notifications to blow up in a chain (like you said) but you know who you are, thanks, this was fun 😊 Not gonna tag anyone else.

Fic Writer Review

1. How many fics on AO3?

All together, 184 across five accounts.

2. Total AO3 wordcount?

Geez, I guess a lot.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Kylux (134)

Reylo (23)

One Punch Man (21)

Gakuen Babysitters (3)

Sasodei/Naruto (1)

ObiDei/Naruto (1)

Halloween (1)

4. Top Five by Kudos?

Don’t wanna go through and rank them but my Halloween fic has the most kudos out of all of them.

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

Always. I figured if someone takes the time out of their day to comment on some schlock I’ve written, the least I can do is respond. Even if it’s just a smiley face.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Don’t want to start posting titles because I don’t want anyone who follows me on Tumblr going to look for my works. But it’s a Kylux /BenArmie fic and at the end Ben couldn’t save Armitage and he’s left trying to pick up the pieces and raise their child alone.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only one I attempted a cross-over in was my Halloween fic, where I brought in a certain character from the Friday the 13th series. Bloody, gory chaos ensued 😊

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

No. Not once. Which is weird considering I don’t think I’m a good writer at all. All of my comments have been so positive and praising that I’m flabbergasted by them.

9. Do you write smut?

I have.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah actually someone took one of my absolute favorite fics, a SaiGenos one, changed some minor details and called it their own. I was so upset by this like, I haven’t posted a fic in almost a year.

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Yeah twice. Once someone asked permission to translate my fic into German and another time, into Russian. The Russian translated one she put on her blog and my kudos shot up into the thousands so that was pretty cool.

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Don’t wanna taint someone else’s talent.

13. All time favourite ship?

Kylo Ren and General Armitage Hux (Star Wars)

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

Yeah, there’s one I’ve been working on for nearly two, yes TWO, years. It’s a SasoDei one and the theme is a little darker and a little more angsty than I normally write. Basically I know how it begins and I know how it needs to end, it’s the details in the middle I’m having a hard time fleshing out.

15. What are your writing strengths?

If I’m going based off of what my comments say, I have a “natural” writing style, my dialogue is very realistic, and I’m able to convey emotions between characters very well.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m not the best at writing very detailed scenery into my works. Also I’m an incredibly slow writer and a perfectionist and if I’ll go back to a paragraph a hundred thousand times and change things about it until I’m satisfied and yeah.

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

Well I don’t know any other languages so 🤷🏽‍♀️

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Kylux in 2018.

19. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Again don’t want to post titles but it’s one of my first Kylux ones and it’s incredibly slow-burn and it’s one of the few I’m actually incredibly proud of.

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Journal // George Weasley x Reader

I LOVED THIS REQUEST FROM @rainy-day-gracie OMGGGG it was SO fun to write.

Don't forget that request are open and dialogue prompts are on my page!

Summary - Reader loses her diary and has to go on a search for it.

Word Count - 1.75k

Prompts - "When did you take that!" ~~ "I hid it."

Where was it?

WHERE WAS IT?

Now, I didn't like to refer to my personal notes as a diary, I prefer journal. But the point is, it was missing.

Missing from the small compartment under my bed where I had hid it. Not that I expected anyone to take it, but it calmed my anxiety so I did what I could.

The journal looked just like my sketch book, I did this on purpose so that people wouldn't question why I had it out and was writing in it on occasion. They would just think I'm sketching per usual. But I made sure to keep good track of it, because I truly *did* have very personal information in there, like any journal would. So at this point, I'm frantically running around asking my dorm mates if they had seen it. First asking Hermione and Parvarti because they knew of the book. Then asking Ginny Weasley and Sophie Roper.

They had all claimed to have not seen it.

So I rushed down to the common room. Checking the side tables, under the couch, on the fireplace mantle. But it was useless, I *know* I closed it in the compartment 2 days ago. I remember it distinctly because I had written a rather private thing in it that day, and I wanted to stop thinking about how it made me feel.

*Potions, one of my least favorite classes for a few reasons. (Maybe because we had it with the snooty Slytherins or maybe because Severus Snape taught the wretched class, who's to say.) But there was one thing that made the class shine for me despite the things I hated about it.*

*George Weasley.*

*Somehow we had managed to be partners for this potion by random. Much to Snapes disliking. But he had to let it go since the picking was truly random.*

*"Today we will be making the Babbling Beverage, does anyone know what this potion does?" Snape asked in his usual monotone voice. A slytherins hand shot up from the back, explaining that it makes you speak uncontrollable nonsense. George leaned across the table to me.*

*"Guess it wouldn't change much for you then, huh?" He laughed, leaning back into his seat with a shit-eating grin.*

*And that's what sparked me to write in my journal. I felt I had to do it immediately, so I did. I whipped it from my bag and held it in my left hand, not laying it on the table where he could see.*

*"What are you writing?" He asked, trying to peak at it.*

*"I'm drawing you Bimbo!" I laughed but that's not even close to what I was doing.*

**I really thought this was only the stuff you could read about, this feeling. A laugh has never brought louder music to my ears, and that smile, I feel like I've never seen him smile like that. He never fails to bring a shining moment to my day. I hope that I make him feel this way sometimes. The tightness in my chest, the way my heart feels like it's having palpitations because its beating so damn fast. Or the way I think he's just so perfect. I sound like such a teenager gosh.**

*I never used names in the thing just in case someone ever got a hold of it.*

*"Why don't you ever let me see your drawings?" He pouted, grabbing at the book and nearly having a hold of it. I snatched it from him quickly.*

*"Because I'm still learning and I don't like them very much." I lied, holding the book to my chest.*

*"I bet they look fine." He muttered with another pout before going to grab ingredients.*

After I decided there was no use in panicking, I took some deep breaths. I had to get to Potions soon, I could talk to George about this and vent to him about the stress I was under at the moment. I grabbed my Potions book from my side table and headed that way.

To keep me distracted by what I felt like were prying eyes in the corridors, (which no one was probably looking at me, that's paranoia for you) I flipped through my sketch book. I flipped through it all the way to the potions door. But one step in and I had nearly dropped it.

George sat, tipping his chair back with what I was positive was *my* journal. He looked deep in thought, his right index finger dragging down one of the pages to read it. I recovered my sketches and stomped over to him, alerting him of my presence. He stood from the seat, holding the book from my reach.

"When did you take that?!" I tried to express my concern quietly so no one would but in on the convo, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Technically I didn't take it." He replied in a cocky manner. "Sophie got it for me."

"But I hid it! That damn girl, I knew she was being suspicious. Give it back, now Weasley, I'm not playing." I held my hand out for it.

"Not until you tell me who you fancy." My face paled, he had read some of it that little snot. That made me quite scared, I did not want him knowing that.

"George it's just ramblings that I come up with, like short stories."

"These sound pretty realistic to me." For a second there his face seemed hurt, but I will have to look over it considering the situation I'm in currently. He brought it to his eye level, still to where I couldn't reach it, and flipped through pages to find one where I write something lovey. "How about, 'He made me laugh so hard I nearly choked today, how does he do it? Do girls seriously not see the charm in this man? I sure do.'" He flipped more, reaching a sufficient page clearly.

"Or, or this one. 'I like him so much I want to be part of his family. Have you ever liked someone so much you *want* to meet their family. I want to be a Weasley-'"

You've got to be kidding. You've **got** to be kidding.

I must have gotten so caught up with writing it that I just let a name slip. Why would I do that. My hand was clasped over my mouth firmly and George was still holding it eye level, seeming to read it silently. I sat in my seat and put my head on the table so I didn't have to watch anymore.

I figured this would happen this way, it wouldn't be me directly telling him. But I thought I would cry, because the thought if it happening made me cry. But I was actually just scared and embarrassed. Scared of rejection and embarrassed that it happened like this.

I heard the book lay next to me softly on the table and the seat across from me scoot out.

"I'm going to get the ingredients for today." He said quietly. I could see his feet walk away from my view under the table. My head was brought up, grabbing the journal and shoving it into my bag shamefully. He came back with small jars and measuring spoons.

"I didn't mean for her to grab your diary you know." He confessed, not looking me in the eye. "I was trying to get her to grab your sketch book. I wanted to see your sketches. But I'm guessing the books look the same so she grabbed the wrong one. I'm sorry for reading it, that was personal." He was fiddling with his hands, his key sign of nervousness, I could tell he meant his apology.

"Its okay, I would have done the same thing if I had yours." I chuckled, trying to relieve the tension in the air. That brought a smile to his face, finally looking me in the eye.

"So, do you have a crush on Fred?" He asked, his face cringing slightly.

He's kidding right? Surely he's not that dumb. My eyebrows furrowed probably as far as they could.

"What?" Was all I could get out. I could not believe this idiot right now.

"Well I hope it's not Ron, that would be a little weird I think, and surely it's not me."

"Yes it is!" I protested back pressingly.

"Its Ron?!" His face was horrified now.

"No you dimwit! It's you! Merlin are you dumb! Georgie you're all I write about in here nearly, look." I pulled the book out again, flipping to a random page. "I taught him how to braid today, he told me he didn't know how and I told him I was perfect to practice on. He's actually quite good at it, I think he knew how to braid. For a moment there he was just playing with my hair and I thought that I might just blackout, it was a dream." It was from a night in the common room. "Or, more proof. 'The boy was sitting across from me on the couch in front of the fireplace today. It was perfect to draw, or at least try. The sketch is kind if shit but I can tell its him and now it think I'll look at it every day because I loved that moment.'"

George's face looked so happy. It was another one of those smiles that drove me mad, but I guess everything about him drove me mad, didn't it?

"You really feel that way about me?"

"Of course I do. I thought it was obvious. And I'm sorry to spring it on you like this."

"Well I certainly was too much of a wuss to do it myself." He said with a nervous smile.

"You mean, you feel the same way?" There's absolutely no way.

"Well of course." He said, as if it was the most casual and obvious thing in the world. "Do you see me act the way I do around you with anyone else. Braiding anyone else's hair, trying to stay calm and collected and seem cool around anyone else."

"Well that's because we're best friends."

"But is that the case for either of us?" And he was right. We only acted this way around eachother because we were hopelessly pining for one another, without even knowing it. And it was consistently working.

"Well aren't we just the perfect pair." I said with a giggle, pouring ingredients in the cauldron for the first time in 10 minutes.

"Are we a pair now?" He asked with a cheesy smile.

"Is this your way of asking me out Weasley?"

"Maybe."

"Then yes, we *are* a pair."