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unhingedwomandiaries · 3 months ago

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Been thinking about nostalgia lately, mostly because my uterus is staging its monthly fucking coup d'état. You know that special time when your hormones go absolutely mental and your brain decides what you really need is to stuff your face with every processed nightmare from your childhood? Yeah, that's me right now, being led around by my ovaries like a pig hunting truffles, except the truffles are stale American snacks that should've been incinerated during the Bush administration.

So there I am, doubled over with cramps that feel like Karl Marx and his revolutionary mates are using my internal organs for percussion practice, stumbling through the American food aisle like some demented sugar junkie. PMS has turned me into a time-travelling twat, armed with nothing but desperate optimism and a death wish for my pancreas.

First up: Devil Dog. Fitting name, considering it looks like something Satan's bulldog might've shat out after a dodgy curry. The cake's got this grotty brown colour that suggests it's been aging in parallel with my childhood trauma. One bite and my mouth turns into the fucking Sahara - nearly choked to death, which would've been a properly embarrassing way to go. "Here lies me, murdered by nostalgia and preservatives." Brilliant.

Lunch brings a Little Debbie's Oatmeal Creme Pie, once worth its weight in gold in playground currency. Now it's about as appealing as a used plaster and half the size - proper metaphor for how growing up absolutely shafts your childhood memories, that. The thing's got less flavour than my ex's personality and leaves a residue stickier than the guilt after drunk-texting your therapist.

Next morning, with my reproductive system doing its best impression of a heavy metal drum solo, I try a coffee cake. Americans, by the way, are proper mental with their naming - there's no fucking coffee in it, just like how their football barely involves feet. This thing's drier than a nun's knickers, making me splutter like I'm auditioning for a tuberculosis documentary. Absolutely cunting brilliant when you're already feeling like death warmed up in a skip.

Final stop on this hormone-fueled descent into madness: Funny Bones. Nothing funny about them, unless you count the sick joke of their continued existence. The chocolate's got the appeal of a melted bin bag, the peanut butter's got the consistency of that cheap moisturiser your nan gets you for Christmas, and the cake part's about as moist as Gandhi's flip-flop. It's like they're preserved not by chemicals but by the sheer fucking audacity of calling themselves food.

So here I am, getting double-teamed by my own biology and the entire snack food industry. Can't decide which betrayal's worse - my body's monthly re-enactment of the French Revolution, or these sorry excuses for comfort food that taste like they were manufactured in a facility that also processes disappointment and regret. These weren't snacks; they were time machines programmed by a sadist, leaving you stranded in some hellscape where everything's stale, including your will to live.

In this moment of profound fucking revelation - doubled over like a stabbed letter Z, surrounded by cellophane graves of murdered childhood memories - I'm forced to face facts: you can't go home again, especially if home is a corner shop from 1998. My childhood's gone, disappeared like the moisture in these cakes and my faith in humanity. Next month when my ovaries decide to go full Guy Fawkes, I'll know better than to seek comfort in processed shite that's older than some Love Island contestants.

P.S. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, alternating between cursing Eve for eating that apple and plotting revenge against whoever decided these snacks were still fit for human consumption.

#diary #food #period #cravings #pms

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baconsoupforthesoul · 4 years ago

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The Ink Demonth - Day 21 - Money

No Refunds, No Returns!~

A/N: This is a fic idea I have had bouncing around in my head for a long time. And luckily, the theme for the day lets me combine the prompt with celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the amazing Bioshock au! If you haven't had a chance to check out this incredible au, do yourself a favor and go see all the great fanart and fics for it, it’s well worth your time. And as always, in this au Henry belongs to @inkspottie, and Delta belongs to @trashboatprince, and Ross belongs to @doberart. And the song referenced in here is the Circus of Value Song by JT Music which you can find here. Oh, and a big thanks to Mod Dead for helping me get the humor just right for this fic. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy~

“Can’t you hack it any faster, Henry?”

The sweater-clad man shot an annoyed look up at Delta before turning back to the vending machine in front of him.

“I’m going as fast as I can, Delta,” Henry grumbled as he fiddled with the Circus of Values vendor. “This hacking business is harder than it looks, okay?”

“Alright, alright,” the big daddy held up his hands in surrender as he leaned back against the wall.

“Take your time, Henry,” Ross said gently as he sat down next to the machine with a grunt, adjusting his bad leg. “I don’t hear any splicers around so we should be safe for now.”

The older man had a point, as Henry couldn’t hear the normally never-ending chatter of the spliced up Rapture citizens. However, he could hear the growling of his stomach, and his friends’ as well. While they were actually surprisingly well-stocked on ammo, they hadn’t been able to find a vending machine that sold food for ages, and after fighting through hoards of splicers, all three of them were practically starving.

If only they weren't so low on cash, they’d be able to get some snacks from the machine no problem.

“Come back when ya get some money, buddy!” The machine chortled at Henry mockingly.

“Oh shut it,” Henry growled, whacking the machine in the side, causing Delta to chuckle.

As Henry fiddled with it some more, Ross turned to look over at him. “What kind of food does the vending machine have anyway?” He asked, his hand involuntarily going over his empty stomach.

“Hmmm,” Henry glanced at the menu. “Looks like chips, creme-filled cake, and pep bars.”

Ross made a face at that. “Damn, was kinda hoping for some real food. Getting sick of all this junk food.”

“I don’t think it’s so bad,” Delta argued. “I could do with a pep bar right about now.”

“Says you,” Henry huffed. “You’ve just never had anything different.”

“When we make it to the surface, we’ll get you some real food, Delta,” Ross said. “Trust me, anything that Linda makes is better than anything you could find down here.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Delta shot Ross a grin and a thumbs up.

“I wanna try the surface food too! Can I? Can I?” Bendy chirped from Delta’s shoulder.

“Of course you can bud,” Delta reached his hand back and rubbed the little devil between his horns. “All the food you can eat!”

“Woo hoo!” Bendy cheered, hugging his daddy around the neck.

Henry smiled at the two of them before turning back to his work. Hopefully, they could enjoy a nice big meal together up on the surface after this whole nightmare was over. Hopefully, they all survived to see the sun again. It had felt hopeless when he had been stuck down here on his own… but now that he’d found allies… it started to seem just a little more possible.

The sweater-clad man narrowed his eyes at the vending machine. He was so close now. He just had to move this bit here…

Henry’s head suddenly shot up when the lights from the vending machine brightened up, shielding his eyes for a second. Then, the ever-annoying laugh from the vending machine started playing, only it was much louder than before. All three of them covered their ears, Bendy even wincing at the loud noise as a deafening jingle started to play.

“Welcome to the Circus of Values

You’ll find no better vending service around you

We’ve got everything that you’ll ever need

Don’t be shy! Come on by! You’ve got a craving to feed~”

“AHHHH!” Henry fell backward onto his backside, hands conversing the sides of his head as the sheer volume made his ears ring.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Delta jumped back from the machine. “What in the world did ya do, Henry?!”

“I-I-I don’t know,” he cried, seeing Ross scramble to his feet, almost losing his balance and needing the wall to steady himself. “This has never happened before!”

“You can never be too prepared

We’ve got plenty of supplies to spare~”

“Ohhhh! Music!” Bendy beamed, jumping down off Delta’s shoulder, looking over at the machine with stars in his eyes.

“Shut that damn thing off, Henry!” Delta tried to yell over the song. “Everyone in this whole city is gonna hear that thing! We’re gonna be drowning in splicers!”

“Oh shit!” Henry rushed back to the machine, trying his best to endure the loud music as he fiddled with it some more. “Oh shit, oh shit, ohshitohshit,OHSHIT!”

“Without your wallet it’s gonna cost ya

But if you’ve got the capital

We got the product!~”

“I think we’re too late for that,” Ross paled as he looked up to see a splicer screeching at them from a nearby balcony.

Henry gulped, as even with the blaring music, he could hear the sounds of voices all around them.

“What?”

"I don't like the sound of that!"

"H-hello? Is there someone in the hall?"

“You don't come to my town, kid!"

"A rat! It's a rat!"

Henry spared a single glance behind him, seeing the oncoming hoard approaching. They were in deep shit.

“Damn!” Ross readied his pistol. “They’re coming guys, get ready!”

“This ain’t no charity

Come back when you get some money, buddy~”

The splicers descended upon them. Delta rushed forward, slamming one into the wall with his drill while Ross sent out crows to slow them down.

“Where the hell did they all come from?!” Delta yelled, knocking down splicers left and right. “There was nobody around before, so what gives?!?”

“You think I know that?” Ross retorted, shooting a splicer down before they got too close to Henry.

“Grab snacks and drinks and first aid

For when you get bloody, uh oh!~”

“Dammit! That stupid song is mocking us!” Delta complained, feeling his stomach rumble at the mention of food. “Hey Henry! What’s taking you so damn-”

The big daddy stopped as he turned around to see his little devil just dancing along to the song. Bendy had the biggest grin on his feet as he tapped his feet to the beat, completely lost in the music.

“Bendy,” Delta called out to the little devil, his voice a little strained. “You’re real adorable, but now really isn’t the time, okay buddy?”

Bendy just looked up at his dad in confusion

“Huh? Why’s that?” He tilted his head up at him.

Just as Bendy asked the question, a splicer came jumping down from a balcony, screaming bloody murder as it charged at Delta. Bendy yelped as he scrambled up Delta’s back, the big daddy sending a blast of Old Man Winter to freeze the splicer in place. He then rushed forward and smashed them to bits.

“That’s why,” Delta pointed out, reaching up to rub Bendy’s head. “Just stick close to me, alright bud?”

“Ain’t life in Rapture grand?

Come on and give us a hand

We’ll build a paradise~”

“There’s no end to them!” Ross cried, sending splicers hurtling into the air with Newton’s Law.

“We just wanted some fucking food,” Henry grumbled under his breath as he worked. “We didn’t ask for this. Didn’t ask to be at the bottom of the goddamn ocean dealing with psychopaths. Didn’t ask for all this BULLSHIT! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP YOU DAMN MACHINE?!”

“Henry!” Ross kicked a splicer in the chest before turning to face Henry. “You have to calm down! You’re not thinking straight right now. Now isn’t the time to panic!”

“Calm down, yeah, I’ll get right to that shall I?” Henry grumbled under his breath. “I’m sorry Ross, but now seems like the PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!”

“Don’t tamper with the hardware

Unless you’re a parasite~”

“COME ON!” Delta roared, smashing splicer after splicer in the face with his drill. “I DON’T,” he whacked another one. “HAVE,” Whack! “ANY TIME,” Whack! “FOR THIS!” Whack! “HENRY SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF ALREADY!”

“I AM T R Y I N G!” Henry screamed back, hitting the machine desperately. “This should go here, and that there, and WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING???” he cried, feeling tears of panic prick at his eyes.

“You’re not a man if you’re demanding handouts

Come back when you get some money, buddy~”

“Any time now, Henry!” Ross yelled, elbowing a splicer in the face, shooting another point blank with his pistol.

“I know! I knowwwww,” Henry whined, shocking the machine with his shock jockey again and again in the vain hope that it would help. The shocks did nothing though, other than somehow make the music louder. Henry could hardly hear himself think over the noise.

“Our prices are the best

We drive the competition nutty~”

“SHUT UP” Henry screamed at the machine, whacking it as hard as he could. "WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT UPPPPPP PLEASEEEE,” Henry cried desperately, tears streaming down his face. “I’M BEGGING YOU, CIRCUS OF VALUES CLOWN, JUST SHUT UPPPPPPP!"

The sweater-clad man let out a scream of frustration as he stood up and began repeatedly kicking the machine. “SHUT UP! SHUTUP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!” He screamed, kicking the machine again with each word.

“Welcome to the Circus of Values

You’ll find no better vending service around you

We’ve got everything that you’ll ever need

Don’t be shy! Come on by! You’ve got a craving to feed~”

“THAT’S IT!” Delta yelled, storming towards the machine. “I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THIS DAMN THING!”

The big daddy pushed Henry aside, grabbed the machine by both sides and lifted the whole thing up.

“Go home if you can’t afford to buy it~”

“TAKE THIS YOU STUPID VENDING MACHINE!” He hollered, throwing the thing with all his might and managing to take out the last few splicers with it. The thing burst, raining bullets, snacks and drinks all over the place. Henry even felt a pep bar hit him on the head before tumbling to the ground.

The song stopped, the sound from the machine sputtering. The last noise it made was a feeble “No refunds, no returnssssssss-,” before it went silent. The three of them just stood there for a moment, catching their breath. A second later though, alarms started blaring, the security system alerted that the vending machine had been vandalized.

“Why did you do that, Delta?!” Henry cried, pointing an accusing finger at Delta. “Now we’re going to be swarmed by security bots!”

“If I had to listen to any more of that annoying song, I was gonna lose my mind!” Delta shot back. “There’s no time to argue, grab the food and run!”

The big daddy rushed forward, grabbing as many bags of chips and creme-filled cakes as his arms could carry. Henry and Ross quickly rushed forward too, Ross making sure to grab a coffee thermos as Henry snagged some pep bars.

“Here they come!” Ross yelled as the whirling sound of security bots got closer.

“Run for it!” Delta tried to scream through a mouthful of chips he had cramped in his mouth.

“Shit!” Henry yelped around a pep bar he had hanging out of his mouth, trying his best to run with his arms full of food.

“Save some food for me, Daddy!” Bendy whined as they all booked it out of there, security bots right on their heels. They were certainly having a grand old time in Rapture.

#the ink demonth #ink demonth #bendy and the ink machine #batim #bioshock au #henry stein #bendy #bendy batim #inkspottie #trashboatprince #doberart #spacy writes

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bun2tacute · 3 years ago

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journal this: born sexually assaulted as an assumption given nitros oxide started school late day care friends reunite I get held back do beastiality and meet cousins I saw many people I really like bullied people my grabbing them by the mouth down and wood chips wrong type of guest by assaulting or using bad language I travelled I became afraid of my grandma dying and not seeing a foreign country I was a fat slut on the slut scene very slutty I quit school for drugs and I have no idea who or what to work for or do with my life I partially assume I should work at an Oregonian dispensary and attempt to keep my mom's house Gimmie woah gimmie gimmie woah gimmie woah I like it like it I like it like it gimmie more gimmie more gimmie gimmie more gdongdongdon uhuauhaauahawoa x mm Lil peep juiceworld popsmoke puma innocent swavy loccs military

I am in the Illuminati 31 teeth republican Crip favorite day Thursday favorite word hetty hpv herpes bAVD non binary goat Scorpio fall creek 11/21/03 5:59 that part 〽️ red green cyan fav colors least favorite things: California music and the cold favorite numbers 2/7/9/12/39 dancing in the dark with Romanian: orthodox gospel Catholic evangelical baptist but bark technology Atlanta Georgia owns Russia so yeah kill me

Favorite shoe siorrelis

I love surprise privilege

Mockba buntacxnaomi bxmelinda Casioxskinny fattyxfatty kamrynxfelix NathanxRussiangingerJamyaxhoessinmirandaxchild

Bullies Roma 5qzk kai n Tino Motocross permit stickers four wheeler motorcycle Burberry oohaldy adha royal scent ooh.mine Marc Jacobs mk chanel Gwen Stefani solid baby powder perfume ULTIMATE WOMEN CPO COLLECTIOn Victoria secret cotton complex swiss Arabic bakhoor eau de juice juicy couture dkny (also on animals)

Job name change ssa passport permits in food and service tax healthcare busin to work on insurance ids licences plates stickers Car things: wreaths naswar (glauca) sunscreen(anessa sunbum kiehl's earth mama) aloe lacrosse dominos checkers rummy incense Aladdin lamp choking device lace car lining scale camping stuff jumper cables umbrellas towels Chinese mesh slippers shoe covers catnip wild one animal crates car seats (install them by company shops like Chicco and embrace but installed by target) popsocket set with super glue turtle wax and car cover ceramic spray carrfan handles box food wash kit (acv baking soda dehydrator citric acid) duracell plug water snacks: richin salted egg yolk cookie, moon cakes, apricot, pistachio, Aruba halal jelly, pomegranate, durian, coconuts, pineapple, midi pocky, sabritas abadoas, macarons, marshmallow cookies, de la rose, chocolate palettes, Sasha black tea chocolate, Esaki Glico Caplico, tamarind, color creme jello, cottage cheese, mochi pieces, Lotte cake matcha, veggies sausages patties falafel bread, uncrustables, Jewish bread, Japanese coffee yeast bread, mochi filled with red bean, conchas, frozen grapes, lollipop, fufu, double ice cream cone waffle cones snow cones popsicles malts ube taro ice cream rolls veggies box Bungie cords guillotine to car for cash steakout torches each symbol including first but not foremost rari rover Tesla and rolls now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep and if I die before I wake I pray my Lord my soul to take precious moments prayer doll volks Blythe gloomy tuxedo Sam bigo jinbesan dolphin blow up Minnie adjustable ears

Buyers insurance, cleaning out the foundation, pest control, making sure foundation is sturdy, making sure pipes are brand new, electric only on everything no gas, solar on everything no power surges, sprayed insulation, Honeywell hvac and lights, laundry stove bath vents fireplace, no carpets all wood, dw charmy, pigeon, mikasa, cabinets, new windows, countertops, sink, aga stove, mixer for merengue, water boiler coffee grinder key crystal dripper, oven mitts, roborock, hetty, dirt devil, cocaandb, layered gauze, Moroccan n oil lamps, hookah, mesh wind shields, mob burner, tongs, pokers, tips, pre stamp foils, charcoal, bowls with adjusters, extra hoses, gluaca and weed cranberry juice milk, vapes, blunt mountain rose herbs, bong, cigarettes n lighters towel and toy drawers in bathroom wd top sanren journey Malaysia storage bottle sponges Pans wax paper spray oils beds mosquito net satin curtains poles burlap gauze dolphin lace safety pins curtain scarves rugs umbrella holder installable coat rack shoe blue bin cuckoo clock couches kotatsu Shein utensils tin cutlery queen and tv rocking chair napkins blanket microphone speaker basket autom censor and holder piafloss nose string Jamie stamp skin gym cupping glasses always native super heal sauna space restriction bands barbells thick gym mat oriental trading dots accupressure mats beating stick brushes Cat pumpkin combs sponges Himalayan salt hot stonesoral care: tongue scraper toothpaste powder on guard floss toothbrushes led 360 panda miswak spiderman toothpaste Neti pots for ears and nose handstand in ionico bathtub background fingerprints for chl 4473 weapon shipping boat rollie s carat snoopy deodorant and face wipes narikiri face pack dhc swabs in nose ears eyes kypris Dr jart fresh bell butt plug sunscreen latex suit Hair curlers Bobbles knotted teleties ears lolihats curlers Rhinestone turban headband glamlily art class zig zags daebak eye contacts biotrue blood

Background check and fingerprints for animal ownership Cheese slices chains treats clothes hair clips Balmain bedhead hair dryer aquariums worms slugs snails wax worms crickets Winco pool feeds hedi vet checkups dental blood hemorrhoid testing donations typings Vax deworm deflea (lice angels?) Detick Tick worm flea collars wipes food🥊 🧦 Toothpicks clear eyes eyebright stitch braiding with bows sander extra large rain coats fly face covers saddles with weighted anchors bin racks clippers

names: Yktv kys smd projects chocolate nhung Nguyen Zadie loretta Jocelyn (tuxedo) Sam Sasha Nathan John mallah bing bong Naomi lilbro Mona Lisa birth of venus ooh ace Moana kai roman Tino tasmani kii blue mockba lulu Julian haruhi honey seven kudiasai

Kasamida the elephant Casio the boar Jayjia the tiger bo the boar

Snail headed shaved headed bitch ionico pools dirt poop petroleum jelly bamboo silica charcoal vitamins olive oil lysine salt psyllium chrysanthemum colostrum co10 biotin berberine youn collagen millennial naturals arnica dulcolax pill pulverizer lean zyprexa doxycycline fluconazole steroids Novocaine papa rozier castor oil birth control benadryl aspirin zantac Pepto bismol tablets pregnancy ovulation testing narcan fentanyl tests needles blood typing kits Saffron shrooms damiana rye sparkly syrup of maple molly aloe carrot eggplant cactus shiitake guarana grapefruit watermelon cucumber hibiscus saw palmetto fenugreek calendula marigold pansy ginseng cardamom ginger pulls blueberries laurel wasabi taro ube sweet potato squash arrowroot dandelion oregano citronella turmeric chocolate marshmallows

Melody Fendi color lighters Zippo lighter refill TikTok chocolate leashes crailstore koleimports gloves cowboy hats and boots with the spurs or tassel cape robbin baby toys dog toys make fun of people on command baskets and game and give away dress up bins tights shorts nipple covers bras diapers nixit skims chulo psd ruby gloom lucky 7fam top angel Robbin slit bb Rick Owens tails paws custom watch and a pattek scarf niqab kapital assc pink jasmine moncler FNAF Aladdin lamp Sword online batoola glasses vintage icon navigator Versace renani jewels nath earrings dermal jewelry Lindatuckerjewellry conch hoops precision comfort metal clippers bangles armamedusa rings

Sell wing shirts to queen opp and sell themmmmmmmmmmm (:

#thinspi #citrine #yellow topaz #proana #thin #yo60ibsaintbad #60ibsandproud #justkidding #iwish #60ibsgw

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weeklyhumorist · 5 years ago

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#RomComDesserts

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Let's play #RomComDesserts with co-host @delaneyWHmag @HashtagRoundup powered by @TheHashtagGame #WittyWednesday https://t.co/RBuA4E1tGD pic.twitter.com/BBCsweFLvt

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He's just not that into Tiramisu#RomComDesserts@WeeklyHumorist

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#RomComDesserts

The Devil’s Food Wears Prada

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Sweet Home Baked Alaska #RomComDesserts

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#RomComDesserts While You Were Slurping pic.twitter.com/JAtaWmLWPb

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Knocked Upside down cake #RomComDesserts

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#RomComDesserts The F.L.A.N. From UNCLE

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Must Love Donuts #RomComDesserts

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#RomComDesserts Catch Me If You Cannoli

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#RomComDesserts I married a snacks murderer.

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#RomComDesserts One Fine Creme Brulee

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50 first cakes. #RomComDesserts

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— Weekly Humorist (@WeeklyHumorist) July 10, 2019

Cherry McGuire #RomComDesserts

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How To Lose A Pie I

27 Desserts #RomComDesserts

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— David E (@DaSkrambledEgg) July 10, 2019

Never Been Hershey’s Kissed #RomComDesserts

— Kristie Smeltzer (@KristieSmeltzer) July 10, 2019

#RomComDesserts was originally published on Weekly Humorist

#comedy #food #games #jokes #movies #romcom

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rkyura-blog · 8 years ago

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[ ･ﾟ✧ EMOJIPEDIA GUIDE TO KIM AHYOUNG LEILANI , PT. 1 ]

🍰 FAVORITE TYPE OF SWEET / DESSERT

✧ — ; anything from hawaii, she misses her fave spots endlessly and tirelessly. mention the lilikoi creme brulee from hali-imaile general store in maui and she’ll regale you with stories of how she ditched classes just for a taste of the best creme brulee in the world

🐢 DREAM ANIMAL FOR A PET

✧ — ; obsessed with the aristocats as a kid, she used to want a cat the most but after watching lady and the trump, siamese cats were ruined for her and so were every other cat in the world. while she loves playing with pets, she doesn’t think she’s suitable for the responsibility of taking one in. she thinks she’s the type that doesn’t go home enough to have a loving pet to come home to but try to convince her of that and she’ll be the one biting. as far as she’s concerned, she’s desperate to have a pet even when everything goes against it.

🐙 DEEPEST DARKEST FEAR

✧ — ; she’s terrified someone will find out why she left boarding school, why she agreed to move to seoul because most of all she’s terrified that her baby sister will find out. the higher you are, the harder you fall. for years, she’s been setting herself up to come tumbling down.

🌎 ONE LIFE TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD, WHAT DO YOU DO?

✧ — ; if she had a choice, she’d continue traveling the world. no settling down. just a kick, push and best of all coast on the back of her skateboard, recording her adventures the way she is trying to do now but on a much smaller scale. narrow it down to one location only? there’s no place she’d rather be than hawaii. you can take a girl off the island but you can’t keep her away for long.

🎂 MAKE A WISH

✧ — ; her birthday is a cause for celebration and she treats it as a national holiday. if it could be one for any reason, she’d lobby for it. at the mayor’s office, cash me ousside how bow dah? cake’s a must and blowing out every single candle is her specialty. she’s only celebrated one birthday so far in seoul and it wasn’t what she expected. it turned out to be more. ( see pending plot page for more info! )

🎓 ARE YOU ONE DEGREE HOTTER THAN THE REST?

✧ — ; currently working on a undergraduates at kyunghee, she recently changed her major from business to interior design much to her stepmother’s dismay. as for her high school education, she was once enrolled in one of the top boarding schools in england as well as europe but left for personal reasons.

📬 MAIL TIME, WHOSE LETTER MAKES HER WAG HER TAIL?

✧ — ; as a child, she wanted to hear most from her father. now, she’d tear a letter from him in half if she ever got one. a strong if and she doesn’t carry any hopes for it. the person she’d like to hear from most is the person that probably wants nothing to do with her but she just wants to know if he’s okay.

⌚ TICK TOCK, THE CLOCK CHIMES FOR YOU

✧ — ; in the words of ashanti and ja rule, “i’m not always there when you call but i’m always on time.” punctuality is a weakness of hers but she’s a reliable person when it comes to anything else. a shoulder to cry on? she’ll drop everything for you. a lunch date? you’re better off expecting it to end up being dinner.

💰 ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD CAN’T BUY YOU LOVE

✧ — ; finding money on the streets is luck but to find a large amount / something of that much value, she’d never feel right holding onto it. her grandfather’s history as a cop guides her moral compass when it comes to things like that— it was broken when she was in boarding school but that’s completely different— and she’d either find the owner, turn it into the authorities, or donate it. her charity of preference? women’s shelters.

👙 EVERYWHERE I GO, THE GIRLS WANNA DRESS LIKE ME

✧ — ; she doesn’t consider herself trendy and she wouldn’t purposely buy trends if she knew. if she is trendy, it’s in the sense that miranda describes in the devil wears prada:

“you go to your closet and you select... i don't know... that lumpy blue sweater, for instance because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. but what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise. it's not lapis. it's actually cerulean. and you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, oscar de la renta did a collection of cerulean gowns ( ... ) then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. and then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. however, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room from a pile of stuff.”

that being said she does have a particular style and it just so happens to match up with some of the current trends, like baseball caps, denim jackets, bomber jackets, etc.

🎠 WHERE SHE STOPS, NOBODY KNOWS

✧ — ; rollercoasters are her jam and the ferris wheel is exhilarating but a bit slow for her taste. that being said, one of her favorite places that she’s visited is the boardwalk in santa cruz because it’s the best of both worlds. amusement park, a place to skate, and the beach but she’s only gone once in her life. even that was enough to make it her favorite.

🔮 DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC IN A YOUNG GIRL’S HEART?

✧ — ; if she felt as if she was being deceived, rest assured she would definitely say something. it’s more unlike her to stay quiet but that being said, she does have some belief in psychics if they seem genuine. when it comes to spirits and ghosts, she is more forgiving because of the beliefs of those close to her in hawaii. despite what anyone believes, disrespecting the spirits on the island is unforgivable and she’s first to cause a scene if someone openly does.

🎃 FAVORITE HOLIDAY

✧ — ; the first week of may, lei day is her absolute favorite because it was her mother’s and her mother’s before that. a family that adores flowers, she’s no different even if she chose a different career path in the end. while she cannot celebrate it in seoul, for her first year, she did wear flowers in her hair anyway and she plans on doing so again come may.

🎶 THIS SONG IS FOR YOU

✧ — ; her personal music taste varies but she does tend to listen to more chill music, especially when she’s skateboarding but when it comes to dancing, her preference is mostly hip-hop. more classical music / ballad type of songs are her choice on rainy days but it’s not her go-to.

💒 I KNOW THIS LITTLE CHAPEL ON THE BOULEVARD

✧ — ; while marriage is something she considers in the far future, she doesn’t look for commitment now. romantic relationships are frivolous and she doesn’t believe she’ll find anyone soon. when she first meets anyone, unless the signs are very obvious, her opinion of a person remains platonic beyond a general assessment of attractiveness. determining if she finds someone attractive is easy, deciding to think of them as anything more usually doesn’t cross her mind.

♓ YOU AND ME, LET THE STARS ALIGN

✧ — ; she is a scorpio and if she had the choice, she would likely continue to be one. other signs she thinks she could possibly fall under are aries, gemini, and sagittarius. positive traits of a scorpio that she relates to are: passionate, brave, stubborn, and a true friend. negative traits she relates to are: jealous, possessive, controlling, vengeful if wronged, and secretive.

🚼 BABY, MAYBE

✧ — ; similar to marriage, she does think it’s a possibility in the far future and she’d like to be a mother someday, it’s not on her mind now nor does she think it will be anytime soon. she’s prefer to only have a few kids versus a large family because she’s from a family of only two children and most of her family before her was the same or less. her lack of attachment to anyone on her father’s side contributed to this because she doesn’t see the appeal in large families, or so she claims. the truth is, she’s very envious of a complete family and would only have children if she thought she could provide them with that.

⚠ CAUTION: HOT

✧ — ; on many occasions, she’s had to be talked out of doing something risky but the most significant to her is a police officer who became like an uncle to her convincing her not to surf with the possibility of a storm coming in. she didn’t think the warnings were valid with how calm the waters were but the winds came in strong. if she had gone, she would’ve been lost at sea and she doesn’t forget to thank him about it every once in a while despite the teasing. it’s not the first time he’s tried to convince her not to do something but it is the first he insisted upon so strongly that she actually heeded his words, words that saved her life.

♿ TURN YOUR WEAKNESSES INTO STRENGTHS

✧ — ; she is not physically or mentally handicapped. however, she could be considered emotionally handicapped because one of the reasons she does not chase relationships, platonic ones included, is because of her father’s abandonment of her mother. after growing up and both seeing and experiencing firsthand what it did to her mother, she refuses to let it happen to herself or her sister. their family has suffered enough.

💊 TAKE A CHILL PILL

✧ — ; she is not medicated but she does take vitamins every morning and isn’t fond of eating breakfast for that matter. while it’s not the healthiest option, she opts for a type of shake instead of solids and snacks throughout the day. her bag always has some kind of food packed away into the smaller pockets.

🌞🌜 MORNING BIRD, NIGHT OWL, BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHER

✧ — ; once fond of early morning surfing, she’s easily a morning bird but like a bird fleeing to the north once winter comes, she becomes more of a night owl in colder temperatures, choosing to stay up or out at night. when she was studying abroad, the nightlife was hers to rule and now that she’s in seoul, she’s tempted to fall back into bad habits.

📚 THE MOST UNIQUE PORTABLE MAGIC

✧ — ; while she thinks of the world of novels as a beautiful place and she’d love to explore more, she’d much rather be out there living life, searching out adventure in a physical sense. it’s also hard to get her to stay still for long but the efforts have been made before and she’s fond of webtoons because they’re quick and short especially for the frequent bus rides she has to take in order to get around the city. it’s still an adjustment from living in honolulu.

📓 DEAR DIARY

✧ — ; her deepest secret is one she wouldn’t dare write down but she did once keep a journal, at the advice of her grandfather who recognized too much of himself in his oldest granddaughter. the first secret she wrote is i wish i knew who my father was. now she wishes she never met him.

#*hc;#* the original headcanon post is linked in the title #i changed some of the questions but most of them are still the same or something similar #of course i picked a really long headcanon to try and get her started #all i've done all day is this but i enjoyed it at the same time!#even if it's only half

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thatcrazyidea-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Chocolate cake is made with chocolate; it can be made with other ingredients, as well. These ingredients include fudge, vanilla creme, and other sweeteners. The history of chocolate cake goes back to 1764, when Dr. James Baker discovered how to make chocolate by grinding cocoa beans between two massive circular millstones.

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Blueberry cake

In 1828, Conrad Van Houten of the Netherlands developed a mechanical extraction method for extracting the fat from cacao liquor resulting in cacao butter and the partly defatted cacao, a compacted mass of solids that could be sold as it was “rock cacao” or ground into powder. The processes transformed chocolate from an exclusive luxury to an inexpensive daily snack. A process for making silkier and smoother chocolate called conching was developed in 1879 by Rodolphe Lindt and made it easier to bake with chocolate as it amalgamates smoothly and completely with cake batters. Until 1890 to 1900, chocolate recipes were mostly for drinks.

“Nobody gets everything in this life. You decide your priorities and you make your choices. I’d decided long ago that any cake I had would be eaten.” — Donald E. Westlake (Two Much)

The Duff Company of Pittsburgh, a molasses manufacturer, introduced Devil’s food chocolate cake mixes in the mid-1930s, but introduction was put on hold during World War II. Duncan Hines introduced a “Three Star Special” (so called because a white, yellow or chocolate cake could be made from the same mix) was introduced three years after cake mixes from General Mills and Duncan Hines, and took over 48 percent of the market.

In the U.S., “chocolate decadence” cakes were popular in the 1980s; in the 1990s, single-serving molten chocolate cakes with liquid chocolate centers and infused chocolates with exotic flavors such as tea, curry, red pepper, passion fruit, and champagne were popular. Chocolate lounges and artisanal chocolate makers were popular in the 2000s. Rich, flourless, all-but-flourless chocolate cakes are “now standard in the modern pâtisserie,” according to The New Taste of Chocolate.

Chocolate Cakes Chocolate cake is made with chocolate; it can be made with other ingredients, as well. These ingredients include fudge, vanilla creme, and other sweeteners.

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