#Destiel softens the blow

[raddestrose]

The fact that Im probably going to learn the election results through the Destiel meme is equal parts hilarious and sad to me

[cas-only-angel]

did not find out the election results via the Destiel meme but now that I am half asleep and have found out through a fucking email, i’m starting to feel like it would’ve softened the blow

[hisaltmystic]

AI Written Supernatural Finale (Destiel)

Title: "Eternal Bonds"

FADE IN:

EXT. DARKENED WOODS - NIGHT

The eerie glow of moonlight filters through the dense canopy of trees. A lone figure, DEAN WINCHESTER, rugged and determined, walks cautiously, his flashlight cutting through the darkness.

DEAN: (to himself) Alright, Cas, where are ya?

Suddenly, a rustle in the bushes. Dean tenses, hand reaching for his gun, but then relaxes as a familiar figure emerges: CASTIEL, angelic and serene.

CASTIEL: (softly) Dean.

Dean's relief is palpable. He strides over, and without a word, pulls Castiel into a tight embrace. Castiel's eyes flicker with emotion as he returns the hug.

DEAN: (voice thick with emotion) You idiot. You scared the hell out of me.

CASTIEL: (smirking) I apologize. It wasn't intentional.

Dean pulls away slightly, studying Castiel's face with concern.

DEAN: What happened? You've been MIA for weeks.

Castiel's expression darkens, a mixture of sorrow and regret.

CASTIEL: It's complicated. But I've been searching for answers.

DEAN: Answers? About what?

Before Castiel can respond, a deafening roar echoes through the woods. Dean and Castiel exchange a knowing glance, then take off running.

CUT TO:

INT. ABANDONED CHURCH - NIGHT

Dean and Castiel burst through the doors, weapons drawn. Inside, a powerful DEMON, its eyes blazing with malice, stands before an altar, a glowing artifact in its grasp.

DEAN: (gritting his teeth) Well, well, well. Looks like we've got ourselves a party crasher.

The demon chuckles darkly, its voice dripping with contempt.

DEMON: You Winchesters never learn, do you? This world is mine for the taking.

CASTIEL: (calmly) Not if we have something to say about it.

With a flick of his wrist, Castiel sends the demon hurtling across the room. Dean moves in, delivering blow after blow with fierce determination.

DEAN: (grunting) You think you can just waltz in here and take what you want? Not on our watch.

Castiel joins the fray, his grace-infused punches sending shockwaves through the air. Together, they fight with a synchronicity born of years of camaraderie and trust.

Finally, with a final burst of energy, Dean plunges his blade into the demon's heart. It lets out a guttural scream before dissolving into nothingness.

Dean and Castiel stand victorious, chests heaving with exertion. But their triumph is short-lived as the artifact on the altar begins to pulsate with an otherworldly energy.

CASTIEL: (eyes widening) Dean, we need to destroy it. Now.

Dean nods, determination etched into every line of his face. With a swift motion, he raises his blade and brings it crashing down onto the artifact, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

The room is bathed in a blinding light, and for a moment, everything goes still.

CUT TO:

EXT. CLEARING - NIGHT

Dean and Castiel emerge from the church, battered but alive. The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a soft glow over the landscape.

DEAN: (panting) Well, that was… something.

CASTIEL: (smirking) You could say that.

They share a knowing glance, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that has formed between them.

DEAN: Listen, Cas… about earlier…

Castiel raises a hand, silencing him with a gentle smile.

CASTIEL: You don't have to say anything, Dean. I know.

Dean's expression softens, a wave of relief washing over him.

DEAN: Good. Because I'm not sure I could find the words anyway.

Castiel steps closer, their eyes locking in a moment of perfect understanding.

CASTIEL: Some things don't need words, Dean.

And with that, he leans in, pressing his lips to Dean's in a tender kiss. Dean's heart skips a beat, warmth flooding through him as he wraps his arms around Castiel, pulling him closer.

FADE OUT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts?

[samaelwinchester]

destiel shippers reblogging your dean post is always a special treat to me, they're literally the only ones i've ever seen say stuff like "yeah dean is bisexual but him being with women is kind of gross to me, he belongs with cas" like the misogyny is coming from inside the house.

lmao so true, they'll admit that he is misogynistic and treats women like sex objects then try to soften the blow by implying that it's because he's really into men or something. industrial grade copium

[stormysummerskyed]

There’s absolutely no reason why the writers on The Winchesters couldn’t have Dean and Cas in for a run of episode where they’re sent back (or purposefully go back) in time to the current Winchesters timeline, and finally give fans the destiel kiss they’ve been waiting for.

And it doesn’t even have to impact the original Supernatural timeline. It can be one of those “Dean won’t remember when they get back to their own timeline” things. But Cas will remember. Cas will never forget, and it softens the blow when Cas says “I love you, Dean,” and then definitely doesn’t get disappeared forever.

[something-awful1]

you should get your news from the destiel meme, it helps soften the blow

dude i dont really feel anything right now but i am scared abt the american election 😭 esp as a trans guy like best case senario nothing in america rn changes

[still-in-a-party-hat]

who knew that there was ever a chance that i could feel this excited over spn again after this monstrosity of a finale but here i am

truly a special year

[nougaty-nephilim]

NO ONE CAME TO DEAN WINCHESTER’S FUNERAL.

No one was there to mourn him other than Sam.

No one was there to support Sam after his crushing loss.

I watched this show build a core message of found families, preaching that family don’t end in blood, create a fandom on the back of that philosophy and called it The SPN Family with fans and the cast and crew. We built this idea of family and a support system of people that didn’t have to be blood related to be valid knowing it was inspired by the mish-mash of family the Winchesters collected throughout the show.

And then the show kills off Dean only to have no one but one blood relative come to pay their respects?

[curlynerd]

What He Wants

Happy gift posting day for @starrynightdeancas gift exchange! My gift recipient is @bipridedean! She requested a Destiel, canon-adjacent fic, so here it is! I hope you like it! <3

Word Count: 2.6K Rating: G Summary: 5 times Dean said "I do" and 1 time he didn’t. Notes: Post canon, fix-it fic, oneshot, love confessions, Destiel wedding

Also read it on AO3!

1.

The first time it happens Sam is the only one to hear it. They’re alone in the bunker, surrounded by months and months of tireless research. But finally, finally, Dean thinks they’ve discovered how to get into the Empty.

Dean wants to push through the night and get a portal up and running as soon as possible. Sam insists they both go to bed, pleading with Dean that he won’t be able to concentrate on the spellwork to maintain it without at least a few hours of sleep.

Dean spends most of the night staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing through his head at a hundred miles an hour. This time tomorrow, he could have Cas back. This time tomorrow he can--Dean is almost afraid to think it, afraid that giving form to what he wants will somehow curse it and stop it from ever coming true. After all, the thing he wanted most before this was for Cas to love him back, and that didn’t exactly end rosy.

Still, as Dean finally closes his eyes, he allows himself a small, private wish. He hopes this will be the last time he falls asleep alone.

The next morning, they’re both expecting some sort of bump in the road, some rare ingredient or some missing incantation that will set them back even longer, keep Dean from seeing Cas again for God knows how long. But fortune is on their side, and Sam executes the spell flawlessly.

Dean is armed to the teeth with every weapon and protection spell they could collect on short notice. His plan for finding Cas and dragging him back home sits clearly at the front of his mind. His heart pounds in his ears, fast but steady and strong.

“You know, if this doesn’t work, you could get stuck there. I might not be able to open a new portal.” Sam looks at the pulsating mass of black that serves as the portal to the Empty. Worry is etched deeply into his forehead. “Do you really want to do this?”

Dean thinks of Cas’ face, the way he had smiled as he said he loved him. He thinks of how he was so close to having the one thing he really wanted. How Cas had wanted the same.

There’s no peace in loneliness.

Dean tightens his grip on his angel blade, his jaw set, his eyes determined. He’s ready to get his angel back. “Yeah. I do.”

2.

The second time it happens, it takes Cas by surprise. It’s been a week since Dean heroically pulled the love of his life from the Empty...and also since Dean lost all remaining courage. He choked. His unspoken response to Cas’ confession is a taut tension wire between them, keeping them inches apart, words suffocating in their tightly sealed mouths, both terrified to say anything and risk breaking something that can’t be mended.

Dean hates himself for it. It’s cowardice is what it is. It’s a lifetime of desperately fighting against the things that make him vulnerable. Against wanting things. Against believing anyone could love him. Even with Cas’ confession still crystal clear in his memories, Dean doubts.

He is deep into those self-deprecating thoughts when he finds Cas in the garage, struggling to figure out how to change a flat tire on his truck from a Youtube video.

“Cas? What’re you doing?”

Cas startles and immediately hunches his shoulders in guilt. He wasn’t expecting to be caught. “Dean.” He looks down at the lug wrench in his hand, and Dean can see the wheels spinning in his head, trying to concoct a cover story before he shrugs and gives up the truth. “I was trying to fix the truck.”

“You need to go somewhere? Cuz I can just drive you.” Dean’s heart pounds, his mouth going dry. Cas wouldn’t need to sneak around for a little errand.

Cas shakes his head and confirms Dean’s fears. “I wanted to have it ready. In case I needed to leave.”

“Leave?” Dean repeats, and his blood goes cold.

Cas deflates a little, resigned and sad. “I assume I’ll need to soon.”

“You can’t leave!” ‘Tell him!’ screams in Dean’s mind, but he can’t. He can’t. What if he’s wrong? What if Cas doesn’t love him like that? What if Cas doesn’t love him at all anymore? What if Dean screwed it up by staying silent and Cas realized he deserves to be with someone who can provide a simple answer to “I love you?” What if--

“I don’t want to,” Cas says softly. The pain is evident in his eyes as they flicker to his truck, like he expects to need to book it out of here at any moment. “But I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here after--” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” he amends.

“Cas, this is your home, same as me and Sam.” Cas doesn’t look so convinced. “C’mon man, you really think we don’t want you around?” Dean leans against the side of Cas’ truck to ground himself. “Cas, I want you here.” ‘I want more than that,’ he thinks, and it would be so easy to say what he really needs to say, but he can’t. He fights viciously with his own self-esteem, ripping at it, begging it to let him say more. “Please don’t leave,” he says, small and helpless, and it’s like moving a mountain to say that much.

Cas’ expression softens into longing. His hand clenches at his side, like he’s fighting the urge to reach out to Dean, but he smiles a soft, incredulous smile. “I can stay? You really mean it?”

Dean swallows thickly. A hundred words crowd his throat, fighting to get out, but his own fears win this round and keep them down. Instead all he can manage is a choked, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

3.

The third time it happens, it takes them both by surprise. They’d gone on a hunt, just the two of them while Sam was visiting Eileen, and everything had gone sideways. What they thought was just a troublemaking demon turned out to be an extremely powerful witch, one with more than enough experience in Enochian magic to put Cas in serious danger. And of course Cas was reckless in his desire to protect Dean, and only managed to avoid getting killed by quick thinking and, to be honest, a helluva lot of luck.

The fight left Cas injured, and Dean pissed. “What the hell were you thinking!” he scolds at the end of a cold, silent drive back to the bunker.

“I did what I needed,” Cas shoots back with a steely glare.

“No, you didn’t need to go rushing in like that!” Dean’s worry leeches out as anger, the fear of losing Cas yet again clouding his reasoning that Dean himself would have died without Cas’ quick action. “You could have gotten a lot more hurt!”

“Why does it even matter to you?” Cas yells back, and it’s the note of hysterical bitterness darkening his words that makes Dean snap and say what he’s been hiding for far too long.

“Because I love you, you stubborn ass!”

The words freeze in the air between them, sharp and strong, wedging themself right where Dean’s anger was just a moment ago.

“You...love me?” Cas asks, his voice small, his eyes big.

And like that, Dean’s fears seem so foolish. Cas loves him. Cas died because just admitting he loves him was the happiest moment of his life. Cas has already done the hardest, scariest part for him. Dean doesn’t even have to fear Cas not feeling the same.

Silently, Dean takes a single step forward. Cas is frozen on the spot, staring at him like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He takes another step, and another, until he’s close enough to reach out and tug Cas into an embrace.

“Of course,” Dean breathes. He holds Cas close, tucking his chin over his shoulder and squeezing tight, like he never wants to let go. He doesn’t ever want to let go. Cas is slower to react, but when his arms finally wind around Dean, he breathes out a soft, sobbing gasp and clings to Dean. Dean turns his head to bury his nose in Cas’ hair. “Of course I do.”

4.

The fourth time it happens, Cas doesn’t even hear it. Cas found out about a nearby crafts fair, and all it took was one particularly soulful look from those big blue eyes of his, and Dean was driving them a full hour and a half away to look at homemade pottery and local honey and overpriced tacky mesh wreaths and pretending that the entire atmosphere of the place wasn’t giving him hives.

Cas is having a blast. Dean is carrying bags and lurking in the shadiest spots he can find away from the summer heat while Cas browses. Cas is having an animated conversation about beekeeping with a honey merchant when Dean ducks into a large tent filled with the kind of flowy, bedazzled, polyester shirts he thinks of as “PTA Chic” because they also happen to have a large fan blowing.

“Lookin’ for something in particular, sugar?” The tent owner saunters over to Dean, her Southern accent thick and her top scandalously low. She’s stunningly pretty, and Dean’s eyes and smile light up out of a lifetime of habit. She responds in kind, dragging her eyes down, then back up Dean’s body. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were lookin’ for more than clothes.”

Dean chuckles and flashes her his best charming, but chagrined smile. He feels a little guilty for leading her on, and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. “Oh sweetheart, if I were single, I’d gladly take you up on that offer, but I’ve already got my special someone.” Dean nods to the honey booth next door.

Her eyes trail over to where Dean gestured, and for a split second her brow furrows in confusion before she laughs just a little, more incredulous than cruel. “You really want someone like that over me?”

Dean looks over at Cas. And, yeah, Dean gets the question. He’s a grown-ass man wearing cargo shorts, carrying a canvas bag with the most obnoxious sunglasses-wearing beach ball Dean has ever seen, and his hair looks like it's been electrocuted. Dean grins, feeling a rush of fondness for his dorky, criminally unfashionable angel.

“Yeah,” he says softly, without an ounce of hesitation. There’s no one else in the world for him but Cas. “Yeah, I do.”

5.

The fifth time Dean says it, Cas is the only other person around for miles. He drags Cas out of bed bright and early one Saturday, forcing him into the car before he’s even fully finished his coffee. Cas allows it, only because he can tell Dean is positively vibrating with nervous energy. Dean brushes off all of his prying questions during the long drive until they finally arrive at a small, peaceful meadow in the middle of nowhere.

He’s packed a lunch, because ostensibly this outing is meant to be a picnic, even though Cas is suspicious on that fact alone. Dean never picnics. It doesn’t really matter though, because Dean is too nervous to even consider eating.

“So why are we really here?” Cas asks after a few minutes of nibbling at his chips. Dean’s sandwich lays untouched on the blanket.

Dean steels his nerve and takes a deep breath. “Do you know where this is?” he asks, fighting the jittery bouncing of his heartbeat to keep his voice steady.

Cas nods. “This is where I returned when Jack resurrected me.” He looks around, smiling down at the flowers surrounding the two of them. The windmill behind him creaks softly in the wind.

“And where I spread your ashes.” Dean’s fidgeting fingers find a frayed edge on the blanket, and he starts picking at it.

Cas nods again and remains silent, patiently waiting for Dean to find the rest of his words.

“And it’s…” Dean pulls a thread out of the blanket and lets it fly away in the wind. “This is where I realized I love you. I’m an idiot who didn’t even realize how much I loved you until after you were gone.”

Cas leans forward and rests his hand on Dean’s knee, warm and reassuring. Dean continues, “At the time I’d thought, ‘I can’t do this. I don’t want to live without him.’ Which was stupid because you were already dead. It didn’t matter what I wanted.”

Cas squeezes his knee. His eyes are gentle. “We’re both okay now.”

Dean’s heart warms. “Yeah. We are. But you know I...That feeling’s never gone away. You and me? I want us to be forever.” Dean reaches into his pocket. There’s no small velvet box, no shimmering diamonds, just a thick band of practical silver he found at a pawn shop. He looks down at the ring with a tender smile. “Man, never in a million years did I think I’d ever be doing this,” he marvels, and when he looks up, Cas’ eyes are wide with surprise.

“Dean?” His normally steady voice wavers.

Dean reaches for Cas’ face, his thumb gently stroking across his cheek. He holds up the ring. “What do you say, Cas? Wanna go legit about this?”

Cas’ expression is impossibly soft, eyes overflowing with love and devotion. He swallows thickly around a lump in his throat and takes the ring from Dean. He slides it onto his finger and stares at it like it’s his own personal miracle.

“You’re serious, Dean? You really want to get married?”

Dean smiles as he leans in close. Just before he kisses his new fiance, he whispers, “Of course I do.”

6.

The sun is setting, casting long shadows down the sand. The shifting winds coming from the sea carry a chill, making the little crowd gathered around them draw their jackets close and huddle together, but the smiles on their faces are nothing but warm. There’s no altar. No stage. No decorations. Just Cas and Dean, standing in front of the ocean, wearing their favorite flannels and jeans, two bright yellow black-eyed susans pinned to their shirts--stolen right out of someone’s garden on their way to the beach.

They didn’t even bother trying to put out chairs for the ceremony, not knowing how many of their friends and family would be able to make the long drive to see Dean get hitched to his angel, but in the end it’s a good thing, because damn near everyone came, and they need to crowd in close to hear them over the wind.

It’s completely and utterly perfect.

Dean grins, unable to take his eyes off Cas while Donna, the only member of his overly-emotional family he trusts not to bawl her eyes out through the ceremony, finishes the last of their vows.

“Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester to be your, well, not so lawfully wedded husband?”

There’s a twitter of laughter from the crowd. Cas smiles a sweet, crooked smile and squeezes Dean’s hand. “I do.” His voice is soft, meant for Dean’s ears only, because Dean is the only one his promise matters to.

“And do you, Dean Winchester, FBI’s Most Wanted, thrice dead criminal, and the terribly generous gentleman who will surely be covering our drinks on this celebratory evening, take Castiel to be your husband?”

Dean looks at Cas. Even in the dim light of the setting sun, his eyes are impossibly blue. His smile is so warm Dean knows he’ll never feel cold again, so long as he can see it every day. Dean beams back and proclaims loud enough for everyone on the beach to hear, “Oh hell yes!”

[fluorescentbrains]

obviously i hate the way they handled destiel, whoever “they” may be, but i don’t know how to make it clear to the Not All Writers crowd on here that it’s really the way dean’s death was written that is the most egregious and harmful aspect of the episode. canon destiel could have softened that blow significantly but the BONES of dean’s ending are simply no good

[destielfanfic]

from the inbox, #1

From the inbox - asks about canon verse fics, #1

There’s a backlog of unanswered asks in our ask box and since answering them privately takes a lot of time without any guarantee that the answer will actually be delivered, I decided to answer some asks that would benefit wider audience here. Other asks were chosen because I have no recs for them, so feel free to add fitting fics in your reblogs!

Hi! I was wondering if you know of any fics with destiel after everything blows over. Like Dean buys a trailer or a cabin and settles down with Cas or something. (Angst is encouraged) Big fan of your blog BTW

Take a look through following tags - #domestic, #established relationship, #ending, #happy canon. Canon verse fics will be tagged with #SU (supernatural universe) or  sr:su (sbmitted rec: supernatural universe). Here’s a shortish list of fics I am familiar with that fit your criteria but definitely look through the tags, there’s much more!

The Epilogue Effect by aileenrose [M, 5300 word count] (sub rec)

Galveston series by aerialiste [NC-17, 57,000 word count] (season 10)

His Fucking Kids Verse [T, M, 96,000 word count] and it’s follow up fic  Kung Fu Grip [M, 57,800 word count] by 8sword *

In Your Sweet Little Bungalow by annodominique [NC-17, 13,700 word count] (sub rec)

Keeping Faith by zoemathemata [T, 9,000 word count] (season 5) *

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entangled_now [NC-17, 10,000 word count] (post season 5)

new testament [just more of the same’verse] by outpastthemoat [T, 46,800 word count] (season 8)

PWP: Pie Without Plot by majorenglishesquire & orange_crushed [M/NC-17, 83,000 word count] (season 8)

Somewhere Back of the Sun by enigmaticblue [NC-17, 72,000 word count] (endverse) *

Something by the Sea by destielpasta [M, 30,700 word count] (season 9)

When the Bough Breaks by captainshakespear and deanisthesun [M, 74,000 word count] (season 10) *

The Way Back by rainylemons [T, 36,000 word count] - this is a Gen fic, no destiel, just Dean and fallen Cas (and later Sam) settling down post apocalypse. 

NEW RECS!!! FIRST TIME ON THE BLOG - canon verse domestic destiel, settling down outside the bunker

r/supernatural by renrub [T, 3,550 word count] #outside pov

whatbaby [checks post history] uh… is this the m30s friend that everyone thought was your boyfriend? LiketheGun79 Yes but that's not relevant. Dean's on Reddit. 

Slightly Gayer by mnwood [T, 7,400 word count] #domestic, #established relationship, #!samother (saileen)

Dean notices the way Cas' body has changed, the way his mannerisms have softened. He spends all day fixated on him, unable to take his eyes or his hands away from him.

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo [NC-17, 30,300 word count] #ending, #domestic

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

Hey! Thank you for all that you do - do you know any fics (not established relationship) where dean and cas get together through raising a kid (Jack or not Jack doesn’t matter)?

All fics with Dean and Cas raising kids are on our #kidfic tag. I have also added asterisk to the fics with kids recced above to get you started. Just a note - destielfanfic transformed to archive  in January 2018 and since then new fic reading has declined considerably. Which is to say that our blog is really not the best place to look for fics with Jack or other recent characters. We have been asked about fics with Jack many times and our answer is always the same - we just don’t have recs. Please feel free to add canon fics with Jack in the reblog comments!

Hii! I was wondering if you had a fic where endverse cas meets now married/together/established dean and cas? I think itd be a fun dynamic. Thank you for your work! I tried looking through the tag but couldn’t find specifics.

I must admit I have never seen such fic, so, if they exist, please add them in the  reblog comments! 

[cheerstofandomfamily]

Well it's officially been 15 hours since I began realizing that my hopes were about to be crushed, and my fears would become reality.

I stepped away from Supernatural earlier in season 15 because I knew the only ending to this show would be death for at least one brother. I knew that for my mental health I needed a break, or to step away entirely, from Tumblr and from the show. It was consuming me, and I was letting it.

I didn't think Destiel would ever happen. I had made my peace with that, and I left the show during a time where not a lot of drama was happening. It worked, and I was able to continue loving Destiel through fan fiction, and occasional moments that I would later on see on Tumblr.

Then 15x18 happened. And the whole world exploded in rainbows and black goo. And I said to myself, "Well if they're going to let THIS happen, then it might soften the blow of seeing one of my boys die a perma death."

It did not.

Supernatural, I cried myself to sleep last night. And I'm crying again writing this post, because you took my hope, gave me a HEARTBREAKING death scene, and then NOTHING to tape my heart back up again.

To Jared & Jensen - you performed the most emotional scene I have seen in an incredibly long time. And I applaud you for it. I'm mad at how it went down, but I give you credit for making me feel feelings.

To Misha - you deserved better than to be an extra they had to cut due to covid. I'm devastated for you.

To the Supernatural fandom - I don't know what I'll do without you guys now. I truly cannot grasp the reality that I'll never be able to analyze another gif set, or image of Dean's bedroom, or wonder if Sammy is going to get hit in the head again. I'll never see green and blue the same. I'll never be able to listen to Carry On My Wayward Son the same, if at all. I'll never hear the words "you changed me" again without wanting to punch something.

To the friends, and mutuals I was interacting with and had to step away from - I'm truly sorry that we have been so misled by the story. I've enjoyed the last two weeks immensely, and can't put into words how much I will miss this. (Alphabetically tagging a few specifics that have been either on my mind or in my notifications recently, but there are SO many of you that I will miss dearly.) @amyoatmeal @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @emblue-sparks @legendary-destiel @madimoo31 @mmangoss @mrsaquaman187 @savannadarkbaby @savemecastiel @shippsblog @spn-bitchh @spnjohnlocked @verobatto-angelxhunter @weird-dorky-little-d

Each and every one of you has made this experience so meaningful. You asked what about all this was real? What the point was? We are.

To the writers - I have no words. I know you did what you thought would be a great ending, and maybe I'll look back in another 15 years and be at peace with it.. there were some good moments, but for me I will always remember what was missing.

I understand now. You were the Empty and WE were Castiel. The moment we let ourselves be happy, you came for us. The moment we FORGOT and let the sun shine on our faces, you brought us to nothing. And then left us to burn with our regrets.

I suppose I should thank you for letting me see Sam shirtless one last time, but then you destroyed that with a stupid wig too. I should thank you for the fact that Cas was in heaven and was able to fix it with Jack, and spend eternity as TFW after all, but we didn't even get more than an eyebrow raise and half a smile. You couldn't have used his voice in this episode instead of 15x19? Now I'm mad about Lucifer again. I will never be over the fact that you thought we'd want to see him again, instead of literally any other character.

I'm ENRAGED. That you took my Sammy, and all his character growth, and leadership development, and said "the only peace for him is if everyone he loves is taken from him and is left with only one path in life, and that's the apple pie life where he can grow old and have a kid" WHAT.

I might add more later, I don't know. Right now I am sick with grief over this finale. I know I can't look at it objectively, I know a lot of people out there did enjoy it. I am not one of those people. And I knew better.

[thorinlandscaping]

honestly at this point the destiel meme is the best way to find out world news. softens the blow a bit by bringing you momentarily back to nov 5 2020 and humbles you. reminds you that stranger things have happened.

[deangirl-interrupted]

You Wake up a Stranger to Yourself (then you learn to live with her)

For @spnwomenweek Day 2: Family Claire POV Claire/Kaia Wayward Sisters Fluff Background Destiel & Saileen Rated: T (just some swearing) Note:  Niamh is pronounced “Neeve”

______________________________________________

You're not a Winchester.

Until, one day, you are.

Claire watched the ceremony with a certain smug satisfaction, from her place beside Castiel as his "best man."

She knows that Castiel's used the name Novak when he's needed Jimmy's old I.D. (and face) to do useful things like rent cabins in which to raise the child of Lucifer. But it's never truly been his. It's a name he stole.

But when he and Dean got married, with the legal papers and everything (thanks to Charlie) Castiel was given the gift of the name Winchester.

That gift was sealed with a kiss.

Claire watched as Sam clapped Cas on the back and said, "You've always been one of us."

***

When Sam finally popped the question to Eileen, it had been three years since they'd defeated Chuck and saved the world again. Dean kept hassling him, telling him to man up and just do it. Sam kindly reminded him that he'd spent an infuriating twelve years pining for his husband, so kindly shut the fuck up about it.

Eileen had no intention of dropping her ancestral last name, and Sam had absolutely no problem with that. They decided to hyphenate to Leahy-Winchester, with both of them taking that name.

Claire was 25 when she found herself on a hunt with Eileen. They'd known each other for years, of course, but had never hunted together. Claire had been practicing her ASL since before Sam and Eileen got hitched, and Eileen was impressed with the ease and fluidity that Claire had mastered.

It was a simple salt and burn, nothing too strenuous, so they had some down time.

Leaning up against the side of Claire's car, Eileen suddenly said, "This is my last case."

Claire blinked at her a few times before saying and signing, "What, why?"

Eileen gave her a shit-eating grin and slowly rubbed a hand over her abdomen. "I'm brewing a new Leahy-Winchester."

Claire cackled. After hugging Eileen and wiping happy tears from her eyes, she said, "The monsters won't know what hit them."

***

Claire let Kaia drive them to go meet baby Niamh Leahy-Winchester.

Claire had been jumpy and nervous for some reason. She hadn't actually been back to Jody's in an age, and she hadn't seen the Winchester clan in even longer.

It's not that she didn't want to, she'd just been busy traveling with Kaia, looking at the world as an explorer and not just a hunter. Actually stopping to see some sights and stuff. And it's not like she hadn't been texting everyone! They had a group chat! It was a perfectly legit way to stay in touch!

She felt a bit guilty about it, anyway.

Kaia looked over at her and smiled, as if she could tell what Claire was thinking. Hell, maybe she could.

"It'll be fine," Kaia said as they pulled to a stop in front of a one story rancher with yellow siding, a white dogwood tree in the front yard, and a devil's trap painted underneath the welcome mat.

They held hands as they approached the house, and didn't bother knocking since the door was cracked anyway.

Everyone was gathered in a fairly small living room, huddled around Eileen and a tiny bundle in a yellow blanket with bees embroidered on it.

(Claire knew, without a doubt, that Cas had picked that out. He may have even knitted it himself, the weird ass.)

Claire knew that Kaia was still a bit uncomfortable around large groups like this, even though she knew and loved them just the same, so she let go of her girlfriend's hand and sauntered over to the group, throwing an arm around Dean's shoulders from behind.

"What's new up in here?" Claire said, throwing a wink at Eileen.

Claire soon found herself caught up in a group hug consisting of her surrogate mother and her two (kinda) gay dads.

"Geez," Claire said, trying to wiggle free, "You guys act like you haven't seen me in a year. I can't breathe."

Jody pulled away and said, "It has been nearly a year, Claire! And before you say anything, texting doesn't count!"

(Damn.)

Cas pulled away but left his hands on her shoulders, keeping her at arm's length and giving her a good once-over.

Seemingly satisfied by whatever he saw, he finally let her go.

"We've missed you, Claire," he said, so softly that it broke her heart a little.

Dean smiled and said, "Yeah, you leave for months at a time and you don't call, you don't write..."

Claire knew that she was letting Dean get her riled up, but that was just part of the comfortable little game they played. "I texted all of you! Like, literally everyone in this room! Some of you I even texted this morning!"

Alex and Patience laughed at her from their spot by a large bay window with sheer white curtains, and when she looked over at them, they both gave her a little wave.

Claire knew they wouldn't be coming to her defense.

It made her smile.

Donna walked over and pulled Claire to her, giving her just as big of a hug as the others. "Okie doke, let's leave the poor girl alone, and let her meet Niamh."

Claire was then unceremoniously dragged over to Eileen, who was watching with amusement. But it also got her closer to Sam, who stood up to give her a hug, and then leaned down to take the infant from Eileen's arms.

"Niamh," Sam said to the baby, with the most besotted look on his face, "This is your big sister, Claire."

And with that, Claire's brain made the sound of a record scratch. Claire.exe stopped working. Big sister? Is that really how Sam and Eileen saw her? As a daughter? Dean and Cas acted like that with her, and so did Jody and Donna, but those were more obvious. She and Sam had never been as close, though he was often the more reasonable Winchester brother. But this whole time, she was just everyone's adopted kid?

Claire was self-aware enough to know that she had softened a bit as she got older, but as Sam gently placed Niamh into her arms, and she looked around the room at everyone she loved, she felt her eyes go all misty.

This whole time, after losing both of her biological parents as an only child, it turned out that she had more parents and siblings than she knew what to do with.

Kaia appeared next to her, to look down at the baby in her arms.

"She's so small," Kaia said, whisper soft.

Claire looked at Kaia with a watery smile and then back down at the baby.

Gently rocking the infant, Claire quietly said, "Hi, Niamh. I'm Claire, and this is Kaia. You are so loved, and I know that someday you're gonna blow us all away."

Niamh gurgled happily.

***

"Are you sure about this?" Charlie asked Claire over the phone.

"Yeah, why, is it weird?"

"No, no!" Charlie said, quickly. "It's just that...I know I'm not from here, and I'll never be 'their Charlie,' but I've learned that this name comes with an awful lot of baggage."

"Nah," Claire said, easily. "To me, it's a name that sets me free."

Charlie laughed a bit and said, "As long as you're sure, I'll send the new documents to you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Charlie," Claire said with genuine relief in her voice. "This really means a lot to me."

After a "peace out, bitch!" Claire ended the call and let her phone drop to the sofa.

Kaia walked over and sat down next to her, taking one of Claire's hands in both of hers.

"When are you going to tell them?" she asked.

Claire grinned and squeezed Kaia's hands, "I'll probably wait for a while. I don't want to give them the satisfaction."

Kaia laughed.

***

When Claire and Kaia met with the landlord, to see what would hopefully become their first official apartment together, Claire shook the little old lady's hand and said with a dazzling smile, "Nice to meet you, I'm Claire Winchester."

[vampire-in-a-trench-coat]

I'm seeing a lot of posts about how J*red always talked so much about mental health and how harmful his opinion on Dean's ending is, and not that I want to add fuel to the fire, but I've been debating on making a post about this for a while, and I feel like this might be the right time.

I've never resonated with a character so closely like I have with Dean and Cas. I care about both of them so strongly, it actually scares me sometimes, and the SPN finale threw me into such a dark, deep pit at one point, I wasn't sure how the hell I was gonna get out of it.

(I'm a lot better now. It's just taken me a while to be able to talk about this)

The week leading up to Cas' death was horrible, because it was no secret to anyone that Cas would probably die in 15x18, but I think the hope that came with Destiel going canon kind of softened the blow. I was so sure that they couldn't possibly just ignore the Destiel storyline after that love confession, and I pretty much convinced myself that Cas would come back in the finale.

(We all know how that turned out, but that's not the point right now)

But Dean's death? Dean's death hit me a lot harder than I thought it would, because it was just so damn final. There was no hope after it, because there was no other episode after it. They wouldn't fix it afterwards. It was done, and that was it. That was all we would get.

So I cried, and screamed, and I made some people close to me very worried. I slept poorly for nearly a month, had nightmares every night for two weeks straight, and you know what the first thought I had every day when I woke up during those two weeks?

Dean's death scene. My first thought every day was, Please tell me that was a nightmare. Please tell me that wasn't real. Please.

SPN has been around for so long, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that we're all attached to these characters much more deeply than most fans do with other TV shows. I have no problem with saying that I was actually grieving both Dean and Cas after the finale, because that's what was happening.

So it just makes me sick that someone who's always praised themselves as someone who's worried about fans' mental health can glorify something that has hurt so many of us. That ending was harmful in so many ways, and it's not something that should be praised.

Dean's ending wasn't a success story. Don't listen to that bullshit. DEATH ISNT A SUCCESS, AND IT'S NOT THE ONLY WAY FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY. DEATH IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING.

Please, don't forget that. Don't let any of this get to you. Please. You matter, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.