#Despite the circumstances being your fault

[carnation-damnation]

I have sooo many thoughts about Rouge. Of all the main Sonic cast we know the least about her. She's a stealthy spy. She worked for the president despite being a thief and probably a double agent in that case?? She's extremely cunning. She's capable of detecting the emeralds despite not having that innate connection with them like Knuckles can.

In her theme there's a persistent sense that she doesn't like to be helped or controlled, possibly. She's searching for something she can call her own and that can only be hers. Nobody else can take it from her.

There's this sense in sa2 that she doesn't trust who she's working with, exactly. She doesn't show it by being cold like Shadow would, for instance, but she puts on this air of professionalism despite sometimes not thinking ahead (Giving herself 5 minutes to find 3 chaos emeralds despite it originally being fifteen and getting her locked in a vault as a result.) And this shows in her empathy and compassion. She doesn't show it as openly as somebody like Amy but she clearly cares and finds herself affected by the relationships she's gained since her introduction. She's probably told herself that she doesn't need anybody, that she can do everything by herself, she doesn't need to lean on anybody for help but she forms Team Dark herself.

[aliusfrater]

similar cinematographic choices to portray the same imagery with insanely different circumstantial contexts

[nanamiskentos]

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PRISON REALM STAYS IN THE PRISON REALM ! ★ gojo satoru

prologue ⋆ ★ just your luck, getting sealed in the prison realm with the strongest sorcerer of this day and age. well, he's typically the strongest. unless it comes to you.

pairing ⋆ ★ gojo satoru x reader genre tags & warnings ⋆ ★ afab!reader, sorta crack 😭 — use of blindfold, incorrect use of jujutsu, óral (f), pànty-fúcking, desperate and FERAL gojo, màting press, brééding, cérvix kissin' and creàmpiés lmfao, óverstim...

word count ⋆ ★ 4.7k! a/n ⋆ ★ gorgeous art by the amazing @baobei-bu 💖 highly recommend checking out their twt 🤭

"are you in the prison realm because ya' got sealed, or did you get sealed because you ended up in the prison realm?"

you grind tired molars together, willing your hands to stay put instead of wrapping around gojo satoru's wretched neck, "the fuck are you talkin' about?"

gojo just clicks his tongue lazily, sprawled out on the unsettling, clattering bones of the prison realm, "jus' musing. it's getting real existential here."

"it's been, what, two hours? and you're already losing it." you wrap your arms tightly around your knees, pulling them to your chest in some effort to combat the cool chill of this...prison. "you realise that this is literally all your fault though, right?"

gojo's eyes flutter open, sky-blue hues that glint with outrage, "what?" he's squawking, undignified, "don't start this again."

"oh, i will," you're jabbing a finger towards him, scowling, "i didn't have any beef with geto. not even after he went off the rails with all that murder shit. didn't do a damn thing to get stuck in here as well."

"oi," a shadow flickers over gojo's face, "whatever that thing is, it's not suguru. y'don't gotta' trust me on much else, but trust me on that."

eyes narrowing, you catch some truth in the sorcerer's defensive tone. whatever. not your circus, not your monkeys. you know better than to pick at gojo satoru's old wounds, "whatever, it's got his face. and you had one job last year when —"

gojo interrupts you with a faux, hacking cough that quickly melts into a groan. throwing his head back as though your tirade is a mere inconvenience, or a tiresome lecture. arms stretching upwards, long limbs unfolding as he arches his back.

phew. a sliver of pale skin peeks out from underneath the dark uniform of his jacket, smooth and taut over slabs of toned muscle, flashing just long enough to derail your thoughts.

"heh. no lookin', pretty," gojo snickers with half-lidded eyes, "what if i'm shy?"

a skull's clattering against the floor as you wrap your hands around rough bone, chucking it at gojo with all the force you can master. he's dodging it effortlessly, ugh. of course.

you don't hate gojo satoru. in fact, it would be a bold-faced lie to claim even a shred of dislike. far from it. your co-worker is...bearable in some circumstances, and it doesn't hurt that he's awfully easy on the eyes.

but nowhere in your grand master plan to bag the strongest sorcerer of the modern age did you imagine being sealed with him. there's a faint worry in the back of your head, wondering just how badly the world is falling apart outside. what, with that geto look-alike still running amok. tokyo? in flames. shibuya? well, you hope it's not rubble.

but it's hard to focus when gojo lounges in front of you, long legs stretched out and muscular thighs spread obnoxiously wide. he's absently tracing patterns on the eerie bones, "wanna' play rock-paper-scissors again?" sounding oddly chipper despite the dire fate of the world teetering on a knife's edge.

"we already did that. and you cheated."

"did not," gojo drawls, blue eyes disappearing to the back of his eyes in mock offense, "yer' just a sore loser."

a beat of silence, and then, "how about i spy?"

you raise a brow, glancing around at your five-star accomadation. the infinite expanse of dull bones and dismembered skulls, "fine. i spy with my little eye...an endless pile of bones. and an overgrown furby sitting right in front of me."

gojo whistles, low as he scrunches up his blindfold, tossing the black silk at you, "touché," head leaning back, groaning, "i'm jus' so bored."

"hah. if you were in here alone, you'd go mad," you mutter, scooching just a bit closer without thinking. this prison realm seems colder than it should be, and it's better to stay close for warmth, right? yeah. right, that's exactly what you tell yourself.

"probably. but it's not like we can crack this stupid place," gojo scowls, "trust me, spent the first hour givin' it my all. wasn't exactly expecting it either."

"yeah, i know," you sigh, avoiding the bright cerulean gaze that's currently resting on you, almost as though it's determined to take in the sight of you, "time doesn't pass in here, right? we're gonna' have to think of something."

the corner of gojo's mouth twitch, candy-pink lines curling up, "time stands still," and then, the man's giving you an odd, focused look that's almost sheepish, "besides, you're in here too, so i can't — y'know."

"you can't what?"

gojo snickers, whistling as he makes a quick, pumping motion over his abdomen, jerking his hand up and down, "you know."

you gape at the white-haired man, the sudden thump-thump of your heart rattling in your chest. it's ringing in your ears, "you're shameless," you mutter, dragging your gaze anywhere but him. the floor, the ceiling of this accursed place, anywhere but the faint amusement painting gojo's face.

"i never skip arm day."

you make a face, a faux-grimace, wondering how on earth you're attracted to this man. a charade and a pretense that you're keeping for yourself, because your neck is burning and heat creeps up your skin like a slow, curling flame. oh, you're a lost cause.

the laughter's melted from gojo's face, and the teasing spark in his eyes has given way to something suddenly more embarrassed, and flushed. expectant even, as there's a dusting of pink suddenly mottled on his cheekbones.

your gaze drops to his lap, mouth going a tad dry at the sudden, thick curve straining against his pants, "oh, y'serious. i mean, really, now? here?"

gojo scrambles backwards suddenly, folding his long legs beneath him like a panicked deer caught in the headlights, "hey. okay, wait! 'm stuck in here w'you and you're always looking so pretty and — don't make that face, hear me out." his ears are tipped with pink, just as obvious as the flush climbing up his neck, "and you're sitting so close, what am i meant to do? 'm only a simple man, sweetheart."

you swallow, as though there's a rough cotton ball caught in your throat, "this is really how you wanna' pass the time? i mean, we got eternity in here."

gojo's lips curl up again, maddening and cocky, as though he already knows the crass scenarios passing through your head, but theres a softer flash of vulnerability in his eyes. his gaze drops to your mouth, darkening with an expression that you've never seen on him before, "who's gonna know?"

your resolve snaps, and with it, all thoughts of the outside world. fuck it.

you're clambering forward, a sudden urge of want pushing you into his wide lap. not even giving him a chance to jest, and tease, or to say one more insufferable thing. your hands balance on gojo's broad shoulders for balance, pressing your mouth to his.

it's firm and certain, tasting the heat of his surprise and the faintest laugh that dies between you. you can taste something else as well, like cool and sweet mint. and blood, still hot and rearing from earlier fights.

gojo makes a muffled sound, somewhere between a gasp and a heady groan, and his hands suddenly come alive, rough palms sliding around your waist, pulling you so much closer. like he's holding a dream that might still disappear.

"heh, someone's just as needy," gojo murmurs, teeth grazing against the hot shell of your ear. the large expanse of his palm grazes at your chest, and a moan falls from your lips, arching your back into his touch, "s-shut up. i wasn't the one who h-had their legs spread, waiting for someone to climb on."

your groan leads gojo to make a sound like he's been wounded, desperate and tight against your skin. glossy mouth pressing at the curve of your throat, as fangs nip into the thin skin. leaving marks, this you know. cool hands slide under the hem of your own uniform, brushing gently over bare skin as his lips continue to chase your own.

sucking, and nipping at wherever his teeth can find, gojo's tugging at your top, pulling it off so you have little choice but to curl into him from the cold. chilled air hitting your bare skin, as he laughs, "aw, cold got to ya', eh? 's not to worry, i'll keep you nice and warm."

blue eyes that glow practically trained on the soft swell of your chest, reverent as though he had all the time in the world to take you in. which, at this point, gojo did. slicked lips pressing a gentle kiss to your cupped chest, white strands of hair falling over his face as he buries himself in, "i can take this off, right?" voice raspier, like rock against stone, in a lower register than you've ever heard it.

"wan' you too," you rock your hips sharper this time, more insistent, agains the hard bulge straining against his pants, "no-one's gonna' see, right?"

gojo's fingers deftly unclasp the hook, "hah, if they do, i'd rip their eyes out, can't have anyone else lookin' at m'girl like that," the strongest sorcerer in the world's gently peeling the fabric away. leaning in to kiss you again as though he's entirely drunk on the taste of you, and only you.

pale lips curling around your pert bud, hands softly pawing at your breasts as you gasp, and writhe, suddenly far more sensitive with each second that passes of gojo's attentive ministrations, "s-satoru, 'm feeling so —"

"so, what?" gojo grins, sucking a violet bruise right over your breasts, white lashes fluttering up to look at you, "yer' looking just as ruined as me, pretty."

"take them off," it's more of an order on your end, but gojo complies and he seems to know exactly what you want, exactly what you're talking about, as his hands dip to the waistband of your pants, long fingers pushing over your hips to centre themselves right where you're getting desperate for him.

"i've got ya', just carefully, yeah, lean back," he's flipping the two of you over, so he's leaning over you now, gently resting you on your discarded jacket, "heh, 'm just gonna' — yeah, there we go," hands pulling at your pants until he's tugged them off you, and gojo's eyes are wide at the sight of your drenched panties.

if you thought gojo satoru looked needy and whiny before, nothing prepares you for the sight of him gnawing at his glossy lower lip, eyes aglow as he seems to shudder, "wan' me to put the blindfold on ya', sweetheart? think we could have a lotta' fun like that, only if that's what y'want."

you eye the black silk that he discarded and tossed at you, not so long ago, pawing and reaching for it as gojo chuckles, "ohh, atta' girl, y'not gonna' need to do anything, but just lay back and use ya' words."

the snowy-haired man's surprisingly soft with it, pressing a tender kiss to your waiting lips, as he loops the fold over your eyes, obscuring your vision, "gojo's right here for ya', just relax."

you can hear the sharp hitch rock his breath, his hand mildly pressed onto your thighs as he gently nudges your thighs apart, and you can feel the chill of the air sting at your hot, sopping folds.

"s-so pretty," the strongest is slurring his words, "yer' practically dripping onto my hand and i've barely touched her. barely even gotten a good, fuck, a good taste."

"i know we're meant'ta be getting outta' this place," gojo murmurs, breath hot against your slicked panties, "but i really would lose my mind if i didn't get to do this first."

'this' being gojo pressing a quick kiss to the soaked fabric, and you can feel him smile against your thigh as you whine at the sensation, with each movement being so much more electric and heightened with the blindfold covering your vision.

"heyyy," gojo mutters, feeling at your thighs clench and kick, "no need to get antsy, 'm right here." tongue ghosting and teasing at your cunt again, "pretty thing, isn't she?"

rrrrrrip!

the way gojo's been pawing at you, you should have guessed that he was forgetting that the prison realm did not have an unlimited supply of undergarments, and that damp and muffled screech all but confirms it. he's torn your panties off, and you can't see where he's got them now.

but you can guess. for you can hear laboured breathing, and whiny praises falling from gojo's lips, and the sound of a buckle being undone. gojo's leaning back up to kiss you now, to nip and suckle at your lower lip while his hand tugs continuously at something. you can't see it, but you can feel the heavy, fat tip prod at your thighs. the sound of damp fabric being slapped against skin, plap over and over again.

"hahh, i don't think ya' know jus' how much i've wanted this, pretty," gojo breathes into your mouth, the other hand coming up to curl at the nape of your neck, loving even, "can ya' spread 'em a bit wider for me? that's it, just let me through."

he's now slotted between your thighs, large palms spreading you open as you can feel your panties still looped and dangling around his wrist, like the most lewd, keepsake cuff.

"satoru, wan' you to just — oh! oh, fuck!"

gojo's already dived right in, as though you were his last meal, swiping a tongue in quick stripes over your drooling cunt. starting near your glistening entrance, slowly climbing his way to the top where he presses gentle nips at your clit.

every single legible thought in your mind turns to a glorious mush, a senseless babble quickly falling from your lips as your hands shoot out, desperate for something to hold onto. finding the nape of gojo's neck, and curling your fingers into his pale hair as he licks at your soaked heat.

thick fingers are bruising at your hips, hooked and deeply pressed into your flesh, all the while gojo's practically making out with your cunt, primal and nasty. it's messy, absurdly so, and you can feel hot thwacks! of slick flying out against your thighs. you can only imagine how it's painting gojo's face, rendering him pussydrunk and so glossy and pretty.

"sweetheart, you're so sweet, ya' know that, right? so fuckin' sweet, heh, i mean, you don't even know how i've been dreaming of this, but now that you're here," gojo thumbs at your cunt, pushing slick-tacked folds apart to view his handiwork, "all spread so pretty for me, who woulda' thought?"

"m-more, please," you're practically mewling, jolting at the sensation of each sticky kiss that gojo plants on you, "more, fuck."

you can hear the crude smile in gojo's tone as he spits a thick glob onto your cunt, "what's the magic word, pretty?"

you don't even care to think, to pull a coherent sentence or plea from your mouth as he picks up the pace, "i d-don't know, satoru! but, god, fuck, fuck, please 'toru, i jus' —"

his grip on your hips tightens, "what?" a cutting, sharp sound as though he's been struck dumb, "what'd ya' just say, sweetheart?"

you don't even know how to form syllables now, such is the effect of gojo munching at your slick heat, "wanted more? huh, 'toru?" grinding your cunt against his face, rocking your hips sharply so you can feel the beakish point of his nose brush against your clit.

"toru, ya' called me," and you can hear the desperation and want painting gojo's words, drawing his voice out into a whine, "never thought hearing that from your lips would fuck w'me so much."

safe to say that gojo satoru would have a hard time letting go of you ever again. wind, hail, fire or prison realm — the strongest was going to have his way with you. his pretty girl, all spread pretty and dewy for him to feast on.

gojo's fingers are long, splitting you open as he begins to slide the digits right up into you. scissoring you open at a bullying pace, so you can only cry and squirm from where you are, "faster, f-fuck, your mouth too, 'toru!"

"whatever ya' want from me, 'm all yours to give," gojo murmurs, pressing a soft bite into the fat of your thighs, pushing his tongue into your entrance too, teasing at the outer edges of your gummy walls, "s'so tight, and 'm only using m'hands and this mouth," the tip of the muscle being sucked in by your pretty, sopping folds.

two lengthy fingers still pushing through your walls, exploring every crevice and sticky orifice that he can find, before rough pads brush past a spot that makes you scream, "oouh, m'girl's sensitive there?"

"s-satoru," you try to take in heavy swathes of air into your lungs, feeling much of the world fall away as gojo's nose grinds at your clit, each brush making you jerk your hips up and up, till you're seeing stars.

and oh, you're definitely seeing the whole damn night sky like this. you don't know what it is that he's doing, that sharp buzz faintly running in your ears, that faint crackle of energy that makes you jolt, but you can guess, "hah, 's not fair, using j-jujutsu, 'm gonna cum, m'really gonna cum!"

"now," it's a command, and you can hear it in gojo's ruined tone, that he needs to see you fall apart like this, needs to taste your release on his tongue and you writhe, as tears prick at your lashes underneath the blindfold, your orgasm washing over you in pulsing waves that leave you limp and boneless.

gojo's hands are trailing up again, leaning upwards to gently pull the blindfold from your eyes, and oh, what a sight! the white-haired man looks breathless, as though the air has been stolen away from him. eyes glowing with running cursed energy, a bright light in the dark that has your thighs clenching at how feral he looks. glossy lips dripping syrup over his chin, and how utterly pleased he looks.

"thereee you are," gojo murmurs, pressing his lips hotly to your own, "can ya' taste how sweet y'are?" each sticky kiss leaving you dizzy, but not as giddy as you feel when your eyes drop lower.

your panties still wrapped around his wrist, uniform sleeve pushed up so you can see where your slick has dampened the pale dusting of hair on his arm. and there, well, eyes on the prize as they say.

he's bigger than anyone else that you've ever seen. it seems fitting that gojo satoru's cock is just as girthy, and beefy as he is. curling upwards in a thick shaft that's kissing wet smears of fluid over his jacket, staining it.

"that's not gonna' fit," the only logical thing you can say right now, eyeing the pink, swollen head of his cock and how it glows.

the sorcerer's tilting his head, "we can make it fit," hand reaching out to run gentle strokes across your knuckle, "we got allll the time in the world to make it fit, don't we? and, heh, i don't think our audience really minds, do ya'?"

you scowl at the reminder of the clattering skulls still chittering away, mindlessly thrumming in the walls of this stupid cube. but you're never one to complain when faced with a site such as this, gojo wrapping long fingers against his cock to glide the head through your syrupy folds. the wide, throbbing head snagging at the sopping walls of your entrance. all while you pull him in closer, nails already beginning to tear lightly at his back.

"kiss m-me, 'toru."

gojo looks up from where he seems mesmerised, taken by the sight of your glossy folds seem to welcome his cock's touch, "what was that, sweetheart?"

"kiss me," you gasp, feeling him press further against you, the tip running circles right over your clit, "when ya' put it in, please."

despite the fact that he was previously nose-deep in your cunt, not five minutes ago, and the fact that he's been pawing your clothes off in a cursed prison realm with no shame, now it seems like you've truly stumped the man. rendered him speechless and flushed, as he ducks his head into the crook of your neck.

"awh," gojo murmurs, "pretty girl wants me kissin' her, fuck, ya' don't know what you're asking. or how much y'ruin me," he's taking your mouth into a heart stopping kiss, searing before he breaks away to press light pecks to the corner of your mouth, "hold on, biiig stretch for m'now, but i've got ya', just — ohhh."

gojo feels his own thoughts dissipate as he's pushing into your cunt. every previous subconscious worry of what on earth he had gotten himself (and you, when that fuck-ass clone showed up on the train platform) falling away as he's left with only you. just you, and this maddening cunt that he's ready to call home. forever.

"s-s-so tight," the strongest stutters, "fuck" his hands already pulling at your thighs to spread them wider, so he can bully more hot inches in, just so he can hear the smack! of skin against skin.

you're squealing, digging sharp tips of your nails into faint lines that are definitely gonna' paint his back, "eeh, it's b-big, 'toru." it feels like he's truly split you open, and well, fuck, you'd be lying if you said that you weren't pleased at how you finally got the strongest sorcerer spitting cuntstruck praises into your mouth.

you whimper, the sound falling softly from you as he bottoms out, and chuckles, swiping a slick thumb over your chin, "see? we really did it together, heh," like he's awarding you some participation in a teamwork exercise, "i'm all up in ya' and her," he's patting at your abdomen, right where you know there's a soft divot, a bulge that curls upwards.

the thick, hot tip of his cock pressing messy kisses to your inner walls, throbbing and pulsing. each vein bulging within you, "y'gonna cum in me, right, 'toru? gonna' finish right in —"

gojo stares at you, bewildered for a split second, like you've truly shocked him. blue eyes wide and expressionless for a second, before something far more pained crosses his face, tongue poking out of red, kiss-bitten lips.

"satoru?"

the strongest sorcerer snaps, pushing himself upwards, and dragging you up along side him, rough palms coming up to tug at your thighs, your calves. pulling them over his shoulders, a reverent kiss pressed to your ankle as gojo snarls, "ya' got no idea, do ya'? talkin' out of your slutty cunt, not even knowin' what you're doin' to me? huh?

gojo's now pressing down into you, with such force that it makes your thighs ache and smart, but you can't even bring yourself to care. practically folded in half neatly in a brutal mating press as his cock rummages inside you at a snappish, crazed pace. as though he's desperate to find where he can push into you the most, to have the leaky head kiss at the entrance of your womb.

and oh, gojo's enjoying the view. thinking that he's content with being faced with the bounce, and jolt of your chest against his, the way that your lips part and flutter around each muffled whine and cry of his name. the hazy glimmer that falls over your cockdrunk expression, like he's the only one for you. his own thighs ripple and bulge with each snap, cock pulsing into the depths of your core. kissing your cervix over and over in pleasurable stings.

"sweetheart, fuck," gojo's gasping, tugging at your lips. you don't miss crystalline droplets pooling on the edges of long, white lashes. the shuddering breaths that he takes into his lungs as you've practically snatched his mind and rationality away with the tight heat of your cunt, "n-never felt like this before. ya' drivin' me mad. fuck, fuck, oh, this pussy was jus' made for me, hah."

in the dim glow of this accursed place, the sheen of his eyes seems all the more intense. storm clouds gathering and parting all at once, striking electric sparks that leave you breathless. he's moving at a pace so feral that you can feel tight, heavy balls smack against your ass. desperate to empty themselves into you, just as you had begged.

"gonna' cum, pretty," gojo whines into your panting mouth, eyes fluttering shut as a tear or two streaks away from his waterline, "jus' snatching me so fuckin' tight."

you hammer your hips up to meet his, to feel that delicious tack of his sticky groin against yours, every kiss of pre-cum glistening in your cunt, "don't miss."

"when have i ever m — ohhh, fuck. fuck, 'm -"

yeah. you don't let him finish. clenching around him tight enough just to remind him who's got who wrapped around their finger. sending gojo hurtling towards a heart shattering climax, pumping every divot of your drooling pussy with shades of white and cream. endless streams of milky, translucent seed making its home deep within you. all while you cry out, harshly digging into his back and pulling the strands of his silver-streaked undercut.

"takin' it all, 'm pumping you s'full, sweetheart," gojo whines, mewling as he slaps a hand between you two, roughly pawing at your thigh to push your leg higher up with one hand, giving him enough space to rub tight, tremouring circles over your clit. slapping and sloshing the mess around even more as your mouth falls open.

he's still shooting into you, and you don't have to look down to predict the sticky, glossy mess that must be painted over your cunt now. right where gojo's hand must be dripping in your release, making you sink your teeth into the side of his neck. stars streaking across your vision as all goes black momentarily, but he doesn't let up on your poor, throbbing clit.

"hah, 'm so full, satoru," you groan out, pressing a limp hand to the bulge right over your groin, right where gojo's eyes are trained, his cock still sputtering out the desperate release of his cum into you, and the white-haired man moans. loud, like you've truly undone him.

the overstimulated sting is giving way to another shattering, sharp climax that washes over you once more, as quickly as it came, leaving your heart thumping and your lungs weak, locking your ankles once more around gojo's neck, wresting on his shoulders.

you limply paw at his jacket, tugging at the stiff collar as gojo sighs, content like a cat that's finally been able to bask in the sun, "feelin' more alert now, huh? got any fresh ideas on how to break this thing?"

gojo gives you a lazy, droopy look. eyes half-lidded as he barks a faint, incredulous laugh, "fucked any smart thoughts right outta' me, sweetheart. besides," and now he's flipping the two of you around again, so you're perched once more in his lap.

smacking and squelching in the pooling mess of your shared release, as gojo grunts, lifting the jacket from his torso. revealing an expanse of delicious washboard abs, and mouth-watering, flushed pectorals, "i don't think we're runnin' outta' time here, may as well make the most of it."

[wingfleur]

# — helping mark grayson lose his v-card.

ever since i finished invincible back in MARCH, mark grayson has been living in the back of my mind rent free. then, @sobbingscripter fucked around and gave me this stubborn childhood best-friends to lovers brainworm i cannot shake with her series "our turn." everybody go read it! this is all your fault, girl!!! 💔 | wc: 2.3k words.

cw: nsfw mdni (18+), afab!reader, childhood-friends-to-friends-who-fuck?, porn with a crumb of plot, vaginal fingering, explicit sex (p in v), missionary, loss of virginity (both reader and mark), creampie, reader trying (and failing) to not feel good, mark being inexplicably good at sex despite this being his first time?, this is... vaguely angsty considering the circumstances

thinking about mark grayson asking you to do him a favor and take his virginity.

i mean, shit��� mark seriously thinks he has a chance with amber, and he doesn’t want to risk a single thing about him turning her off. like— what if, when they eventually get, y’know, "hot and heavy," he kisses her with too much teeth, or can’t find the clit, or, god forbid, he tries to put his dick in the wrong hole! in that case, he’d be single and lonely forever, doomed to die unfucked, and it’s not like you’re seeing anyone either, so you’re the only one he can ask for help!

now, in your defense, the first few proposals mark offers get shot down by you in no time at all. you like mark, yeah, and losing your v-card would be nice, sure, but you’re not that desperate. being so thirsty to fuck him that you’re willing to be his test dummy so he can properly fuck the girl he actually likes is a level of depravity you’d never, ever sink to, but the way mark gets down on his knees one night and begs with his those big, brown puppy eyes of his makes you kiss your teeth and begrudgingly say yes. 

and as nervous as mark’s been acting, he’s eager. 

when mark kisses you for the first time, the action not nearly as full of teeth as he initially worried about, you come to find that it’s actually... quite nice. it’s hesitant, sure, but as far as you're concerned, this is not only your first kiss, but his. it's clumsy, but full of good intentions, and you enjoy the sensation of soft lips pressed against yours until he gets comfortable enough to lick at your bottom lip.

he only gets bolder from there. strong, calloused hands caress your sides, slipping under the fabric of your tattered t-shirt that you cut the neckline off of. firm, muscled legs walk you back towards your bed and cause you to bend at the knee, falling back onto the mattress, and him along with it. soon, those soft, pink lips are trailing their way down your neck, and those shy, but secure, hands are making their way to your bare chest, thumbs cautiously flicking over your pebbled nipples. 

you’re quite surprised by the effort it takes you to try to act like you’re not enjoying this. 

“‘s that okay?” mark asks softly against your lips, pulling back enough to look at your face. your expression is pinched, brows slightly knitted in the middle. mark’s concentration deepens, and he moves back a little further to truly study you, lips parting as he cautiously moves to pinch your nipples between his pointer and index fingers. 

“...you look like it hurts.” mark’s eyes flicker across every tremor and flicker of the expression on your face. you let your eyes shut slowly and try to steel yourself, breathing deep. 

“no, it doesn’t. you’re just— notthatgoodatthis.”

mark’s fingers slow to a near stop as he takes a moment to truly scrutinize you, eyes locking onto the way your eyebrow twitches as he slowly rolls the buds between his fingertips. then, he smiles, leaning back down to brush his lips against yours.

“you’re lying.”

you are lying. to be more accurate, you’re lying like fuck, but to maintain a shred of your dignity, you can’t act like being mark grayson’s test fuck-dummy feels nearly as good as it does. you'd simply be handing him the green light to go fuck amber. 

“i have no reason to lie.”

“sure,” he chirps back, “we’ll see about that.”

you find two reasons to lie once mark sinks his fingers into you.

firstly, you’re wet— unbearably so— and you know mark can feel it from the way his lips drop open with a groan. mark inhales deeply in an attempt to stifle any other sounds that escape him in the process, focusing solely on the slow press of his middle and ring fingers into your hole. the whole process is audible and clicky, which makes his head buzz with static every time the squelch reverberates against his eardrums. secondly, you’re tight; sure, mark already knew you were a virgin, but it’s another thing for the proof to be sitting right in front of him (or, better yet, squeezing around him). the way you’re squirming beneath him tells mark everything: that, to date, his fingers are the biggest thing you’ve ever had inside of you. 

christ, mark feels like he’s gonna lose his mind. 

the first thing he notices, aside from the way you’re clenching around him like you wanna break his fingers off, is the way the cords of muscle in your thighs are pulled taut. you’re tense— that much is evident from your pinched expression— but mark decides he wants to watch that pained face melt off into molten pleasure, so he starts to rock his fingers into you gently. 

“how’s that?” he asks, voice low and a little frayed around the edges. his adam’s apple bobs hard as he swallows, focusing himself on your face instead of the pretty sight of your pussy swallowing him up. 

“hardly feel it,” you lie unconvincingly, teeth gritted and jaw tight. you know you’re not going to win an oscar for your performance anytime soon, if the way mark laughs is anything to go by, and you frown in reply because, as much as you want to be mad, it’s truly a glorious noise. that said, you do have a reputation for being a buzzkill to uphold, so you try and fix your lips to snark out a reply, but you quickly press them into a flat line the moment you feel a moan bubbling up rather than words.

“sure,” is all mark says, his voice and tone void of any dejection. there’s little to no emotion in it at all, actually, and it makes you open your eyes right as he curls his fingers and drags them across your upper walls. 

a soft gasp leaves you, and your brows shoot up in surprise, tummy spasming for a moment as your hips kick up into his hand. mark’s rhythm falters for a moment, surprised by the sudden movement, but he has no problem adapting to the situation and getting back into it with a grin across his face. 

“bet you feel it now,” he coos, tone patronizing as he concentrates his fingers on that tender spot inside you. you shake your head quickly, brain threateningly to drip out your ears as you squeeze your eyes shut so hard you see spots. 

“all i— fuck— feel is you fumbling around inside of me like this is some bastardized prostate exam.”

mark snorts, but ultimately doesn’t reply, and in the back of your mind, you think you notice that as a sign of trouble. in actuality, you aren’t really sure: you could’ve picked up on it as a result of your last-minute preservation skills, but at the same time, it very well could have been a lie you made up in an attempt to make this feel less real.

whatever it is, it doesn’t matter anymore. you’re hardly aware enough of your surroundings as is. not after mark busies himself with slowly sliding his cock inside of you. 

“oh fuck, you feel good,” mark moans, voice sounding utterly destroyed as he presses himself in to the hilt. your thighs quiver, and you take a hand to press it against his abdomen, right above where it tapers into a v-shape and disappears inside of you. 

“i— fuck you, mark—“

mark, despite how much his eyes wanna roll back, leans over you and smugly grins.

“you are right now, aren’t you?” 

you don’t know where the fuck mark learned this.

the first few thrusts of his are measured, more so savoring the feeling of the way your walls sticking to his cock every time he draws back and press his hips forward. then, his thrusts become confident. he falls into a good pace, most of his weight on his hands as he leans over you and focuses on your face. 

your expression starts to crumble. 

the rhythm slowly makes a tingle form in your gut, jaw dropping open as you try to fix your mouth to half-heartedly tell him to stop. then, he angles his hips and hits a spot that makes your mind go blank of any protests, effectively making your steeled expression finally crumble. 

“oh, fuck,“ you finally whine, back arching slowly into a deep bow. you blink open your teary eyes to catch mark looking at you with the most lovesick expression, something you’re nearly dumb enough to think is for you before it’s covered up by pride for finally getting you to crack. 

“tell me how good it feels,” he says, dropping suddenly onto his elbows. you’re about to tell him that you’d only ever do such a thing in hell, but then he presses his face into your neck and slowly grinds into you, causing a shudder to completely wrack your body. 

“mark,“ you whimper softly, arms and legs coming up to cling onto mark desperately. he continues to sensually rock into you, movements long and drawn out so you can really feel it. as you begin to squirm, mark uses his muscled arms and firm hands to clutch you so you can’t run. 

“tell me,” he pants again. “tell me how good it fuckin’ feels.”

“fuck, it feels so fucking good, mark.” the way you whisper it sounds utterly broken, tears pricking at the corners of your lashes as a part of you gets damn near angry from how good you feel. mark keeps rolling his hips into you as he leans back to take in your expression, head coming forward to press a kiss to one of your eyelids. 

“cum for me.”

the words quickly make your eyes flutter open, looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows as he keeps fucking you slow and measured. your mouth opens and closes for a few moments as you try to string together something akin to a disbelieving “what?”, but mark beats you to it and shushes you, pressing your foreheads together. 

“stop thinking so hard and let go. lemme feel it, baby.”

mark holds your gaze for a moment, actively watching the way your gears still manage to turn despite how stupid you currently feel. something suddenly gives in your expression, and mark smiles in realization, watching as you slowly relax and focus on nothing but the incredible warmth building inside you. 

your orgasm takes a little while, but when it does finally come, it’s glorious. 

mark would describe it as you melting. he watches as you seize up for just a brief moment, clutching him for dear life with slight panic in your eyes. then, he watches as you turn to jelly, the panic subsiding into something that can only be described as pure bliss, becoming one with the sheets and mattress itself. 

you feel so good around him that his hips stutter, but as much as mark wants to cum too, he wants to see you through your orgasm first. 

you can’t do anything but take it. 

it feels amazing— like a tingly, warm sensation spreading from the very top of your head to the very tips of your toes. you do your best to hold mark’s eye contact as your climax ravages you, but they eventually roll back into your head. the sight makes him groan and duck his head into your neck. 

“fuck,” mark hisses, voice low and gruff enough to be similar to a growl. it makes goosebumps rise on your skin— a few more than the ones that have already sprouted up on your arms and neck, at least— and when the numbing feeling of your orgasm begins to fade, you reach up to handle your fingers in his hair and lightly scratch your nails against his back. “where do you want it?”

you pause for a moment— one of genuine, critical thought— and lean up to speak in his ear. 

“inside.” 

mark briefly pulls up to look at you, the urge to ask you if you’re sure on the tip of his tongue, but the look you give him, combined with the knot tightening in his gut, tells him to shut up and listen, causing him to duck back down to your neck. 

mark’s pace falters, falling from measured and steady to frantic and fast as he chases after his high. he trembles with the force of his orgasm, hugging you tight as he humps into you like he’s trying to carve a place out inside of you. 

you shiver with him as he does, and you soothe him through it, murmuring praise in his ear until he’s panting heavily and slumps against you.

“…thank you,” he mumbles, face still buried in his neck. 

you’re panting heavily too, but that doesn’t stop you from weakly smiling, fingers tracing shapes in his skin. “don’t thank me, this was charity work.” 

mark snorts lightly and turns his head to lightly nibble you, making you giggle in reply. 

“maybe,” he says, sighing and turning his head to rest his cheek on your shoulder. “but still. thank you.” 

you hum quietly in response, a smile tugging at your lips until a nagging voice in the back of your mind reminds you of why he did this. it's quick, how suddenly something deep inside of you sours—something deep enough that it isn’t able to deter you from enjoying this peace you find in mark grayson’s arms, but accessible to the point of letting you feel that sting in the very tips of your fingers. 

you fall silent, listening to the rhythm of mark’s breathing, tracing patterns and shapes until his heavy, exhausted breathing becomes soft and measured. 

it’s only then do you allow yourself to speak, making the conscious effort to tuck the bitterness you finally feel in yourself away. 

“mm. i guess you’re welcome.”

# — navigation

[menelausblues]

𖥔 ݁ overstimulated rafayel.

mdni.

rafayel cries from overstimulation, but he endures it for the sake of feeling your pussy pulse around him. yes he's usually bratty and flustered but in all other circumstances, he can control himself, but pleasure dissolves all his discipline. and overstimulation is so easy for him when he cums so quickly but just can't bring himself to stop. liquid wells in his amethyst rose-kissed eyes and he squeezes them shut to stop the pearly, desperate tears from spilling over the rims. every nerve in his body screams, reaches a pinnacle of pleasure so indistinguishable from pain, but he keeps rutting his hips through soft whines and breathy moans. it's not his fault, cumming so soon. it's not his fault, being unwilling to stop when he's done. it's not his fault, still being so hard after your walls have milked him so easily. it feels too perfect and he can't stop listening to the sticky sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you. he can't get enough of the sight of thick splotches of his cum painting his length. fucking it into you isn't enough. he wants it to stay, and he wants to stay. just like this. with you underneath him and his name fluttering from your lips meekly, begging him for even more than he has to give. and he will, for you. he doesn't want it to be over, doesn't want to be done with you just yet. doesn't want to not have your body attached to his like a plea. so despite his greatest efforts to hold them back, the tears go sliding down flushed cheeks, his hands hungrily looking for any part of you to cling to while his hips rock sloppily, obsessively.

[teaboot]

Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.

This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.

You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.

For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.

White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.

Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.

Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.

The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.

There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.

The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"

You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.

Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.

Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.

Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.

If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.

If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.

When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".

[thepitlanepress]

UM WHO ARE YOU? –

↳ lando norris + fem!reader

⌗ :: masterlist

⌗ :: a/n: something lando while i work on the smau !! also black and white pics of lando>>> a warning tho the sleep deprivation kicked in at about halfway through

your friend was late.

again.

this was the seven hundredth time michael had been late this week alone. seriously, its like he did it on purpose. you had been standing in the restaurant's carpark for the last half an hour waiting on you ride home.

it's late, it's dark, you're cold and tired. boy was the asshole in for it when he showed up. how could he leave a you out here in these conditions? it was practically snowing.

eventually michael's car turns up and slows to a stop in the car park, you think its weird how he keeps rolling a bit while you try and grab the handle but its they way he is, always taking the piss out of you on a daily basis.

he stops shortly after and you yank the door open piling inside and berating him. "seriously dude? you're half an hour late and i have been dying to bed. its almost snowing outside and you just leave...me..."

thats not michael.

sitting in the drivers seat is lando norris? the world famous f1 driver? what is he doing at your restaurant? no no better question, why the hell are you in his car you dumbass?

"um, who are you?" he asks sitting there, a confused and suspicious look on his face, he probably thinks your some crazy fan, which doesn't help the situation you're in.

"oh my god, i am so sorry, i got in the wrong car, this isn't happening. i'm so sorry, i thought you were my friend, gosh im so-" you begin to say but cut yourself off when you start to ramble. instead collecting yourself and bracing for the cold when you open the door.

"wait," lando's voice stops you, your hand on the door, ready to leave. "you can stay in here until your friend arrives," he says smiling, there is still the edge in his voice, and thats understandable, but he's being kind and letting you stay in the warm at least.

"thank you," you smile and sit back in the seat relaxing and closing your eyes basking in the warmth of the car, and the smell of lando's cologne. its not your fault its the only thing that you can smell.

"so can i ask; what were you doing out there? its snowing and you have no coat on, thats not okay," he asks his voice drifting to you.

"my friend michael was supposed to pick me up, but evidently he was late," you answer, opening your tired eyes and sighing. "he's always late these days. this is like the third time this week i've had to wait for him for like an hour after work."

"you're telling me you spend half an hour to an hour waiting for this guy to come pick you up from work? and he's always late?"

you nod not bothering to defend michael right now, he's making you wait with a stranger for over an hour, the last thing he deserves is your defence.

"what a shithead."

an unexpected laugh rumbles from your throat. "that's michael for you."

"thats michael? seriously?" lando's brows furrow and he looks disgusted by even the thought of it. "he's not your friend."

"what?"

"that boy is not your friend. a real friend would be here in the carpark early warming up your seat for you, waiting with a coat. not showing up hours late to a-" he looks out his window. "closed restaurant. god it keeps getting worse."

you sigh quietly and shake your head, "i don't know what to do, i don't have a car and calling an uber is not my favourite thing at this time of night."

"give me your phone," lando says suddenly.

"what?"

"can i borrow your phone please?" he repeats.

"sure?" you say pulling it out of your pocket, unlocking it and handing it over to him.

he types something quickly and smiles before handing it over to you again. you look down and on the screen is a new contact "lando aka your new best friend"

despite the circumstances you laugh, "what's this for?"

"text me when you finish work each shift and i'll come pick you up."

"what?"

"i'll pick you up or have someone trusted pick you up at the end of your shifts," he says simply.

"why?" you ask bewildered by his kindness.

"because i'm your new best friend duh."

you smile and he grins back at you. "come on i'll drive you home," he says putting his seatbelt on and gesturing for you to do the same.

"thank you," you whisper.

the drive home lulls you to sleep. maybe it was the quiet hum of the radio, or the warmth of the car or the company. whatever it was it sent you to sleep quickly, with a smile on your face and your heart full, you made a new friend.

you never did ask lando why he was in the car park that night. and he never did tell you how he had overheard your friend shit talking and complaining about you at a random club before he ran off with some girl.

and he never did tell you about how he very nearly dropped everything to go pick up the mystery girl who was depending on the worlds biggest asshole.

he never told you,

not even when he got down on one knee or when he stood up in front of all of your friends with you in a white dress.

he never told you how he almost fell in love on the spot when you burst into his car and then profusely apologised when you realised you made a mistake.

he never told you.

but he always picked you up, no matter where or when, he was there.

2025 © thepitlanepress | please do not steal, use, translate or repost any of my works

– comments, likes and reblogs appreciated !

[3liza]

the contractors broke my thermostat somehow (not their fault, it's older than any of us including them) and i have had no heat for like 4 days but this DOOM wad apartment i live in has two fireplaces so i have retreated to a pastoral, hearth-centric lifestyle and im experiencing primal human emotions my family hasnt experienced in 200 years like "firewood burns too fast and i dont want to go outside to get more" and "this firewood is wet and i have to babysit the fire for 45 minutes to get it going" and "should i build the fire back up before going to bed or should i let it go out so i can close the flue" and "the fire is irritating my allergies but im cold" and "do i burn these cherry logs or save them for the lathe" etc etc

its absolutely extraordinary the amount of physical mass you destroy in 20 minutes when using wood for heat, especially any form of firewood besides "correctly cut and split logs", which i am not using because i dont have a car and cant go pick any up (this vexes me). like you go through a pile of branches the size of a car in a few hours. on the other hand you really really cannot beat the physical feeling of LARP-wellbeing from wandering around the neighborhood scavenging deadfall to haul back to your house and burn for heat, i mean you really cant. plus i just found one of those compound-levered pruning shears on the sidewalk and it's the perfect size to chop up branches using my body weight as force instead of impact or pulling/pushing motions, so im not having to saw or hatchet the wood (both of which are unpleasant, possibly damaging on my weak spots).

its a miserable chore when you have to do it daily for survival but my present circumstances have just afforded me a fun little reality vacation where im obliged to use ancient skills to provide heat for my home, so despite being tired and stinky and sore it really is a lot of fun to go outside with my big dog and fill up an IKEA bag with faggots

[writtenbymoonflower]

hii!! i hope this is where requests go! but i was wondering if you could do either a remus x reader or poly x reader- (would rather poly but idk what you prefer) where they’ve been getting bruises from somewhere, but they don’t rlly notice it until it’s like finger prints somewhere, it could be like an ex harassing them or something? something along those lines of them being protective and hurt/comfort <33

hi sweetness! sorry it took so long! poly!marauders x gn!reader

cw: mentions of physical abuse from coworker. post-trauma stress, swearing

1.1k words

You had been growing increasingly skittish. Before these series of incidents, your boyfriends had been able to touch you whenever and wherever with little reaction. (with the exception of pleasant shivers). Sirius seemed to always have his hands in your back pockets, James had a habit of coming up behind you and nuzzling into your neck, and Remus, though not very tactile, would brush his hands appreciatively over your hips and waist. But in the past few weeks, your boys had been pulling back. And you knew the reason, you knew it was your fault. 

It had started with slight flinches. When Sirius gripped your shoulder affectionately and you jumped, eyes wide with fear. At any other time, the press of his fingertips would be pleasant. But when he squeezed the broken skin- broken skin he had no knowledge of -you winced and whimpered in pain. He immediately pulled his hand back, concern notched between his dark brows, and you immediately began reassuring and apologizing. You told him that you were just tense, that his touch was unexpected but not unwelcome, but he had still been careful since then. After a string of similar circumstances with James and Remus, they had all been handing you with kid gloves. 

Your behavior had changed as well. You had swapped your normal tank tops and tees for crew neck hoodies and sweaters, long sleeves to cover the purple and green spots littering your arms. Your face had been permanently tense in an attempt to stifle grimaces from rising up. You were sore, mentally exhausted, chronically anxious, and your boyfriends could tell. You had been constantly reassuring them of you being fine, but you could see their suspicion growing with every attempt. You could feel the tension thick in the air, attempting to rear its ugly head. 

Despite every attempt to seem normal, you still flinched when James touched your back, trying to pass behind you. 

“Right behind you, lovely” instead the usual comfort James’ voice carried, it put you on edge, making you inhale sharply, tensing your whole body. 

“Sorry.” You mumbled, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut, urging the panic to leave your body. Only when your breathing slowed down did you realize the crippling silence that had taken over the room. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, sweet thing?” Sirius probed, unusually careful. He was eyeing you suspiciously over his laptop screen. You quickly fixed your face, grateful for the distance the bar island put between you and your investigating boyfriend. 

“Yup. I’m all good, just startled me ‘s all.” You went back to chopping the vegetables in front of you with slightly too much vigor. The boys were still silent. You quickly changed the subject. “Remmy, can you grab the turkey from the fridge for me, please?” 

“Sure, dovey.” He walked behind you to get to the icebox. You made sure not to shudder as he made his way. He stopped, looking over your shoulder. Every nerve was standing to attention.

“You okay, honey?” You did everything to keep your voice from coming out strained. 

“I’m okay.” Remus sounded slightly confused. “Here, sweetheart. Your sleeves are going to get in the way.” He reached over to roll your sleeves up. A sweet gesture at its core, but you still froze in panic. He pulled them all the way up to your elbows. You just stared at the cutting board, wincing when James hissed, quickly making his way over to inspect further. Sirius took his computer glasses off, nearly catapulting himself over the bar. 

“Fuck, baby. What happened to you?” Sirius went straight to the issue. He grabbed your wrist, tilting your stained flesh towards the light. There were small, round splotches on the delicate skin of your wrist. Before you could find an excuse, Remus took your wrist. When he held your arm, his fingers fitting almost perfectly into the marks, he inhaled deeply.

“Who the fuck did this.” Remus bit out. James reached over to place a hand on his shoulder and Sirius gave him a pleading look, but nothing was going to calm him. Usually it would be Remus calming Sirius down, but when Remus’ fierce protectiveness comes out, nothing can pull it back in. In these cases, Sirius acts as the calmer one. 

“Rem, it’s ok-” You started.

“It’s not fucking okay! Someone put their goddamn hands on you and I need to know who did it.” Despite his voice growing in volume, he was still handling you ever so gently. James still moved between you and Remus, suspecting that Remus’ extremely visible stress would only put you more on edge. 

“Sweetheart,” James started, keeping his voice calm, even as it wobbled with worry. “Is this why you’ve been so tense lately?” Before another denial could form on your tongue, James continued. “Please, lovely. You can tell us. We won’t be mad, we just want to help you.” His dark eyes were searching your face, looking for any shred of emotion to cling to. 

Everything just felt so raw. You knew you were being ganged up on, drowned with affection and it was all too much. You pressed your lips together to keep them from wobbling but it was no use. Your eyes filled with hot tears and sobs started to wrack your body. Weeks of pent-up hurt came spilling out. 

“I just-” You struggled to get the words out between too-fast breaths. The boys caged you in, but for the first time in weeks, you felt comforted rather than clutched. 

“Take your time, baby. It’s okay. We’re not going to leave you.” Sirius smoothed your hair out of your damp face. 

“T-they hired someone at work. I-I used to know them.” You struggled. Pausing to suck in small bits of air. You could see questions spinning in their heads, but they didn’t interrupt. “I guess I make them mad. I’ve always made them mad. I don’t mean to, but I just d- do.” 

“Nothing.” Remus’ voice was sharp, but terribly kind. “Nothing you could do would make this okay. This is not your fault. Never has been, never was. No matter how upset they are, they don't get to hurt you.” You kept shaking, hot tears dripping off of your jaw. 

“I-” You struggled. “I’ve been so scared.” When you said this, Sirius caged you in his arms. You knew this struck a nerve with him too. 

“I know, baby. I know. I’m so so sorry you’ve been dealing with this yourself. It must have been so hard. But we’ve got you now. You’re going to be okay.” You couldn’t get words out anymore, but it was okay. They would stay with you until you could. 

“We aren’t going to let them do this to you anymore, you hear me?” James pulled your face out of Sirius’ neck to make you look at him. “We’re going to fix this.” 

[beastyeastfreak]

I accidentally posted this ask before i even started writing LMFAO

Im honored to be ur first ask!

Cw and tags: reader has murdered/hurt others in the past but feels immense regret, beasts are manipulative, angsty, romantic but could be read as platonic

Written pre silent salt

🐚 - You had been baked with abilities rivaling the legendaries, beasts and dragons alike and yet you belonged to no classification. You weren’t sure what you were baked for, why would such power be granted to a cookie who knew not what their purpose was? Confused and alone, cookies took advantage of that and used you for their own desires. It took a long time before you realized you were an object to them, and not a fellow cookie

🐚 - So in a moment of intense emotions you caused devastation upon others then seeing the atrocities you committed hid yourself away from the world.

🐚 - It seemed that, the beasts found you first. They were convinced you belonged with them, so you chose one cookie to leave with, to learn from and to help.

Mystic Flour

🌾 - Mystic Flour was the obvious choice right off the bat. She was calm and composed and despite her teachings you found yourself most comfortable around her. She too had been directly affected by the greed of cookies seeking to use her. Whatever hurting you felt from how you were treated she helped you move past. Though you never truly were able to use your powers again, though you wished you could that lingering feeling still remained.

🌾 - Mystic Flour didn’t want to use you though, she wanted you to use your abilites to take action against those who wronged you. She’ll tell you how each beast came to be, how you weren’t alone, cookies would always act like this. She holds your hands in hers gently, it wasn’t your fault whatever had happened. Cookies would always be selfish, you and her were unfortunately bound by your similar circumstances.

🌾 - You don’t give into the temptation of apathy and further revenge. It irritates and bewilders her, but she knows it wont change. Still, she loves you for you. It would be hypocritical for her not to after pulling you from isolation and helping you heal your mental wounds. She enjoys speaking with you, her story had always been spoken but never heard by her own ears until she hears you speak.

🌾 - Perhaps a day comes when she is under attack, though she can handle herself her assailants find themselves suddenly assaulted by a completely different being. You were not used to using your full strength and accidentally smite whoever wished to do her harm. She is charmed, though you do not share any enthusiasm. She comes to find that was entirely instinctive.

Burning spice

🏜️ - Burning spice was your choice to go with, he promised a revenge that made you feel cared for in a way you had never known. You quickly became acquainted with the spice lands, you were physically powerful enough to fit in but he saw quite clearly you were holding back from the beginning. When you explain you dont want to just harm cookies like you did that day, he is clearly irritated but decides it’ll be something fun and new to pull that out of you.

🏜️ - As you began to interact with cookies for the first time in ages, frustration builds. You don’t understand, and frankly Burning Spice was working behind the scenes to show you the worst of the worst. Dont get him wrong, he loves you and he listens to you when you rant or just need to talk, you can always spar with him to get energy out. But still, you’re holding back, he can see it. A tightly wound rope creating friction, burning and snapping slowly.

🏜️ - He’ll further that tension, but he knows that he wants you to snap not break. He’s there to comfort you when it gets rough or provide a small distraction. But behind it is the intention to see you in your full capacity, to see you rising above the weaker ones, to see strength. He gets it one day, strangely enough an attack on him. The cookie was powerful, he could have handled them himself though, he didn’t even draw his weapon before they were obliterated into crumbs.

🏜️ - The oddest part? You felt horrible, you felt horrible because it felt amazing to let lose for once. He reassures you though, you did the right thing. Afterwards, he rewards you, you find that luxuries often are given after feats of violence.

Eternal Sugar

🌷 - Eternal sugar told you that you had worked hard enough to please cookie-kind, you deserved to be cared for. You let yourself sink into her soft words and in her embrace. Surprisingly, she doesn’t want you to use your powers, she doesn’t care. She wants to see you happy, to her you were another cookie that needed help.

🌷 - You get along quite well, you remembered how it was when they were virtues though you didn’t exactly know them at the time. She helps you become social again, the garden is the best place to do it frankly. Everyone there is secretly briefed to help you in any way they can. The weight of your regret and worries slip off your back with her help, now uplifted with her love.

🌷 - As your troubles fade away, you begin to forget why you ever stopped using your powers. Slowly you hone them, not to harm others but to pay her back (though she insists its unnecessary). Its a slow journey but it seems everything in the garden is rather sluggish. No one seems to mind that you have setbacks, too busy indulging and living their life.

🌷 - If there comes a time where you need to defend the garden and defend Eternal sugar, you may find yourself suddenly reminded of that dark time, the destruction caused before. But Eternal Sugar is a miracle worker in making those memories fade away… and gradually you can let go without wondering if you’re becoming like you were before.

Shadow Milk

🃏 - To be honest, being alone was boring. Shadow milk was more than happy to remedy that! He thrills you with endless shows and comedies, with him you feel like less in the best way possible. His humor can be dark at times but its welcome nonetheless. But through his entertainment is subtle lies spun into your head no wider than spider silk. His curiosity was overbearing, his former title as fount of knowledge never truly left. He was not there to see you used, the destruction you caused, he wanted to catch a glimpse.

🃏 - He’s a better manipulator than the rest, his stories have themes and ideas. You begin to agree with the protagonist, put yourself in their shoes. His minions are equally as curious, peer pressure also comes into play.

🃏 - Eventually he is straightforward, like a climax to a play. Will you try to use your powers again? Now you feel inclined to agree, but you know the potential damages. You tell him you want to, but you shouldn’t. He’s irritated but obviously has another plan.

🃏 - Some day he pulls some strings, a big monster is attacking the spire in his absence! (Its actually him, wink wink) However he severely underestimates your abilities, it seems you downplayed the damage just a bit. If not for his souljams ability to keep him from crumbling he would be dead. Its safe to say you dont use your powers again after that, much to his dismay.

[orcasoul]

Not My Man

Summary: Joel is accused of abusing you, and, oh hell no! You're having none of that!

Warnings: Swearing, injury, implied domestic abuse, use of Y/N.

Word Count: 4,132

"Ow, shit! That really stings." You wince and pull your head back as Joel lightly dabs a alcohol soaked cloth over your cheek. His hand slides behind your head pulling you back in, keeping you in place. "Quit squirming and it'll be done quicker," he tells you firmly yet softly, his big chestnut eyes fixed intently on the task at hand. You grudgingly obey, - keeping still despite the the burn of the alcohol seeping into the raw cut across your cheek - holding an ice pack over your eye on the opposite side. You just know it'll be black by tomorrow.

"How's the head? Feeling dizzy or sick at all?" It's the millionth time Joel has asked you this, and every time you have to reassure him. "I'm okay, Joel. Really," you stressed, but you can see the guilt and anger simmering within him flicker to the surface every time you try to make light of it all. "I shouldn't have let you go off alone. Fucking hell... if I'd been just a few seconds later you'd be-" Joel closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, both to calm his nerves and to avoid having to finish that sentence. Just the thought of losing you makes Joel want to rip his hair out in vexation.

"It's my fault," you try to reason, cupping Joels' scruffy cheek and forcing his eyes to meet yours. "I should have been paying closer attention. Don't you dare go blaming yourself." "You're never leaving my sight again," Joel declared, his voice low and determined. "Joel-" "I mean it Y/N! From now on when we're outside these walls I'm gonna be on your ass like your shadow!" You sigh, knowing there's no getting to through to Joel when he gets like this. So, you silently concede with a nod, mostly for his peace of mind.

After applying some antiseptic cream and a large plaster, Joel leans in to press a featherlight kiss over the sensitive gash and rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. "I could have lost you today, sweetheart." The ache in his voice stirred a deep ache in your chest in return. You place your hands over his own, which are now cradling your face. "But you didn't, and that's all that matters." It crushes your heart to see Joel so torn up over something no one could have seen coming, over something he couldn't have known.

But, here he is again; blaming himself for circumstances beyond his control. All you can do is comfort him and try to make him focus on the here and now and not on the "what could have been". Easier said that done, though when your mind keeps replaying that dreadful encounter. You could kick yourself for letting your guard down.

You and Joel had started to take Ellie out to prepare her for patrol duty, now that she'd turned 18. A small town about 5 miles west of Jackson seemed like the best option, given that the place mostly remained infected free at this time of year. Most of the wooden houses had collapsed in on themselves over the past two decades. Only brick buildings had survived the ravages of time and the elements, and even some of them looked to be on their last legs. Once it appeared the three of you were alone you'd proposed you split up to inspect the last few unchecked buildings, just to get it over with ASAP. The sooner you were all done, the sooner you could all get home and stop freezing your asses off out here.

Joel, of course, objected immediately but you brushed off his concern, insisting it was safe enough. Famous last words! While Joel and Ellie searched an old bank building, you'd turned you attention to a restaurant next door. You entered slowly, gun raised in front of you, head turning in every direction, ears pricked for any indication of company. The crunch of broken glass underfoot was deafening in the eerie silence.

As the moments wore on, you began to feel less tense, there being no signs of raiders or loners passing through, and if there were any infected in here, surely they'd have heard the scraping of glass as you'd entered. A thorough scan of the dining and kitchen area revealed no danger, luling you into a false sense of security. You absentmindedly lower your gun as you make your way to back room, which you assumed was an office. All you could think about was the hot bath awaiting you later on as you opened the door and walked through.

It all happened so fast after that. A ear splitting scream echoed through the room and before you could even turn to face it, you are tackled from behind, both yourself and the rotting corpse on your back tumbling over a desk and landing with a hard thud on the floor. The impact of your head hitting the ground sent the room spinning around you, but even through the haze, your body reacted instinctively, pushing the furious creature away from you by it's shoulders. It's putrid breath and brown teeth almost made you gag as you fought desperately to keep it's searching fungal tentacles away from your face.

You let out the loudest scream you possibly could, hoping Joel and Ellie would hear. Your gun had gotten lost during the skirmish so all you had to rely on right now was your own strength, which was waning by the second. Just when you felt like you couldn't hold out any longer a gunshot split the air and the infected fell to the side of you in a heap. Through the ringing in your ears you could hear Joel's frantic voice calling your name, his hands grabbing and pulling at you, checking you over for bites. "Holy shit! Is she alright? Is she bit?" Ellie asked breathlessly from over Joel's shoulder. "No, no... she's not bit. She's fine," Joel sighed in relief.

The fog in your head cleared, bringing you back to yourself and that's when you noticed how much your body hurt. A dull ache settled in your ribs where you'd landed, your head felt like it would explode at any moment and your cheek and opposite eye socket throbbed continuously. A warm, tickling sensation ghosted along your cheek. When you pulled your fingers away they were red and sticky. You can't even remember hitting your face on anything in all the commotion. "Joel..." you whimper, body trembling from fear and adrenaline. Before you could say another word, Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest in a crushing bear hug, a chorus of "You're safe, sweetheart" and "I've got you" repeating over and over.

You're snapped from the memory by Joel's weary sigh. "It's my job to protect you and I nearly failed... again." You're heart sank on his last word, knowing exactly what he meant by "again". Pulling back, you gently cup Joel's face in both hands, staring compassionately into his tormented eyes.

"Don't do that, honey. Please. It was my fault." you asserted, shaking your head. "I suggested we split up, I let my guard down. That's on me." Joel released a small, humourless laugh, clearly not about to relinquish any of the blame and it guts you; to see what your carelessness has caused. "But do you know what's all on you?" you ask, your tone softening. Joel shot you a quizzical look. You wave a hand over the front of your body, Joel's gaze following your gesture.

"Me... here, alive and well. You saved my life today. If it wasn't for you I'd be dead... or worse," you shudder at the thought. "So, you see, you didn't almost fail. You saved me and I love you for it." Joel exhaled long and slow, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. Joel lifted his hand to caress the back of your head and pulled you towards his face. His soft lips pressed against yours in a deep, lingering kiss. "I love you too, sweetheart, so damn much!"

The next morning as you, Joel and Ellie made your way towards the mess hall for breakfast, you can't help but notice the stares from passers-by. You were right about the black eye; the deep purple hue had bloomed overnight, the swelling causing your eyelid to slightly droop and a few bruises decorated your jaw. Even the area surrounding the bandage on your cheek was flushed red. You must be quite the spectacle right now. After collecting your food, the three of you joined Tommy and Maria at their table, as you do every morning, but this morning something felt... off.

A few times you could have sworn you'd heard yours and Joel's names mentioned in hushed tones, heads turning away from you quickly as you glance around. Joel and Tommy, being so deep in conversation, remained oblivious to the odd atmosphere, and Ellie was too busy shovelling food in her mouth - like it was her last ever meal - to pay attention to her surroundings. Maria, however picked up on your unease, also noticing the excessive looks and whispers in the hall. She looked to you, eyebrows raised in silent question, to which, you could only shrug in response.

Once you had finished your meal, you got up to take your tray to the used area, setting it down on the pile. Just as you turned to walk away you hear your name being called by Millie - one of the serving ladies. With her short, dumpy stature and short grey hair, she gave off the classic warm granny vibe. She's also a renowned gossip around town. "Are you okay, dear?" she asked in a breathy whisper. "Um... yeah?" You weren't really sure what she meant at first. When you noticed her concerned eyes darting all over your face you suddenly remember how ghastly you look. "Oh this..." you wave at your face, casually. "I got jumped by an infected yesterday. Knocked my face pretty bad but I'll be fine."

Millie didn't answer for a few seconds, her eyes flicking to your table, then back to you. "Are you sure?" she finally spoke, even quieter than before. "Of course." you tilt your head, wondering why she's acting so weird. "It's just..." Millie bit her bottom lip, nervously. "If you need someone to-" "Millie? Can you help me out in her for a minute?" came a shout from the kitchen. "I've got to go. You take care," she smiled sympathetically before rushing off into the kitchen, leaving you bewildered. "What the hell was that?" you muttered under your breath before returning to your seat.

Later that afternoon you were alone in the house when you heard a knock on the door. Maria stood on the other side, and one look at her face told you this isn't a social call. "Hi, can I speak to you?" she asked. "Sure, come in." You opened the door fully and stood aside, allowing her in. "Is everything okay?" you asked sitting on the settee opposite her. "Maybe I should be asking you that." "What?" Maria cleared her throat and shifted, uncomfortably. "Is... everything okay... between you and Joel?" "What do you mean? Why would there be something wrong?" you queried, taken aback at such an abrupt question.

"Look, if you don't feel safe enough to talk about it-" "Talk about what? What exactly are you insinuating?" You don't like how this sounds one little bit, but you want to hear her say it before you possibly jump to conclusions. Maria sat forward, looking you dead in the eye. "Y/N... did Joel do this to you?" There it is; what you were hoping she wasn't going to say. "Of course he fucking didn't!" You sprang to your feet, fists clenched at your sides. "You know what happened. I reported it yesterday when we got back!" "I know but-" "How could you even think Joel would do such a thing!" Maria raised her hands in a show of surrender.

"I'm sorry. It's just I heard he might have been... hurting you and as a member of the council I had to investigate. I'm also your friend," she continued, "and I just had be be sure." You can feel the blood in your veins boiling as the seconds tick by. "Who the hell has been spreading bullshit like that?!" "There have been rumours going around-" "Rumours!" you scoff. "And you believed them?" Maria stood up slowly, counteracting your indignation with calmness. "I'm not saying I believe them-" "It's obvious you do or why would you be here?"

"I just needed to know. We both know that Joel can be volitile-" "Oh trust me, I know how Joel can be. I travelled across the country with him, remember. I know what he's capable of and I also know what he would NEVER do! He'd never hurt anyone he loves. Your head is now throbbing from the anger bubbling under your skin, but you just can't stop yourself. "He's never laid a finger on me or Ellie and I won't have anyone spreading vicious lies like that!' "He's killed innocent people before. How can you be sure one day he won't-" That's fucking it, the last straw!

"Do you trust Tommy?! Do you fear what he might do one day?" you throw back at her, sarcastically. "Because Tommy killed innocent people too, or have you conveniently forgotten that?" Maria's demeanour hardened slightly at your judgement of her husband. Good. Now she knows how it feels. "Tommy was just following Joel's lead." "Oh don't give me that bullshit!" you snapped in frustration. "He's a grown ass man capable of making his own decisions, and he chose to do that. You can't keep making excuses for him, but still hold it against Joel." Maria remained silent, seeming to realise the truth of your words. You inhale a calming breath before continuing.

"Maria, you've got to let go of this constant animosity you feel for Joel. Yes, he's made some wrong choices in the past, but he's not that man anymore... just like Tommy isn't. And wether you like it or not he's your family now. If not for Joel's sake, do it for Tommy's. Joel means the world to him and you know it." After a few tense seconds Maria nodded slowly, looking slightly abashed. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. As a council member it's my job to keep the peace in Jackson, so I had to ask..." she steps closer to you, taking your hand in hers.

"As your friend, I believe you. I can see how much you love Joel. No one would be so fiercely protective over someone who hurt them." Your shoulders sag as the tension drains away. "Thank you." "You also make a fair point," Maria says. "It's true I've never been Joels biggest fan, and maybe I have been a bit harsh on him," she rubbed the back of her neck, awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I'll try to... make things right with him, I promise." You squeeze her hand back. "That's all I ask."

"So, we'll see you tomorrow for breakfast?" The sincerity and hope in her voice, softened you up a bit. "Sure, see you then," you smiled at her. Maria began to walk towards the door but stopped when you called her name. "If you hear anymore gossip-" "I'll be sure to set the record straight," She interjected. "Thank you." When the door closed and you were alone once again, you slumped back down into the settee, leaning your head over the back, bringing your hands to your face in exasperation.

The weak winter sun began to dip behind the mountains, casting looming shadows in the streets of Jackson. Joel was due home from maintenance duty any minute, so you put the kettle on to make him a cup of coffee before you head out together for dinner at the mess hall. Worry had been plaguing you all afternoon. You just hope word of these rumours hasn't reached joel's ears. As Joel entered the house - tired but otherwise in good spirits - you felt your worry settle, knowing he's none the wiser or he would have, rightfully, been a murderous mood.

The last thing you want is for Joel to have to deal with hearsay from sad busybodies with nothing better to do with their lives. If you can discreetly nip this in the bud without Joel having to know, that would be for the best. Joel sauntered into the living room after kicking his boots off, sitting down with a groan. Even though his back ached and knees creaked, he relished in the deep satisfaction that came at the end of a hard day's work. He never though he'd have the opportunity to live a normal ( well, as close to normal as you can get) life again.

Instead of smuggling and scraping to get by on a day to day basis, he now has the chance to do something honest and meaningful, and he'll never take that for granted again. "Hey honey," you greeted joel as you sat next to him, handing him his favourite tawny owl mug. "Thanks, darlin'," he smiled and kissed your forehead. You watched as he closed his eyes, savouring the rich flavour of coffee as he swallowed. "You look tired," your voice was a gentle whisper as you ran your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, knowing how it soothes him. "I'm okay," he said, stifling a yawn.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Joel gently brushed your hair behind your ear, examining your your face. "I'm fine. The swelling's actually starting to go down now." Joel smiled, relieved. He still blames himself for what happened but any indication that you're recovering is music to his ears. "MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLES!" You both jumped half a mile in the air as Ellie barged through the front door, slamming it so hard behind her the whole thing rattled. "Whoa, whoa, easy. What happened?!"

Joel rushed over to Ellie, his shoulders tensing and fists balling. You've seen that posture many times on the journey here. A posture that screams "I will kill anyone who hurt you". "Stupid people running their fucking mouths. That's what fucking happened!" Ellie seethed as she ripped her jacket off and flung it on the floor. Oh god, Ellie. Please don't! "What the hell ya goin' on about?" Joel drawled, his Texan accent thickening as it always does when he's upset. "Oh you didn't hear? Well, you would have soon enough. People have been going around saying you gave Y/N those bruises."

"What the fuck?!" Joel roared, the muscles in his shoulders and arms visibly straining as anger flooded his body. Joel looked back to you, a mixture of disbelief and fury contorting his features. You dash over to him, resting a hand on his arm in support. "Joel, please ca-" "What the hell is wrong with people!" he continued to rant looking between you and Ellie. He felt sick to his stomach that anyone would even entertain the idea the he would hurt you. "I'll fucking kill whoever said that," he mumbled in an ominously dangerous tone as he began pacing back and forth. "I'll rip their goddamn tongues out for them. I'll make sure-"

"Joel!" Reaching out, you grab both of his shoulders, forcing him to stop and snap out of this manic descent he had slipped into. When his eyes landed on yours, the darkness swirling within them, melted away, replaced with a devastation that almost made you cry. Joel brought his hands to cup your face. "Darlin', you know I'd never do that." "You don't have to tell me that, honey." Joel brushed a thumb over your cheek, sighing and shaking his head. "Did you know?" You nod, pressing your lips together in a thin line. "Yeah. I was hoping to put an end to it without you having to know."

"What do you mean?" Joel asked, his brow furrowing. "Maria came by earlier..." Joels face slid into a cold stare. "Of course she did," he huffed with disdain. "Oh don't worry, honey. I had a few choice words for her. I told her, well, practically screamed at her that you'd never do such a thing. And if she hears anymore talk, to shut it down." "Even when the world goes to shit, people still love a gossip," Joel spat the last word out like it was a bad taste on his tongue. "So, did she believe any of it?" he asked, his expression hardening once more.

"I think at first she did." Joel rolled his eyes. "But after I corrected her," - you emphasized the word corrected - "She believed me." Joel huffed with scepticism. "Joel, I don't want you to worry about this okay. I'll take care of it." "We both will!" Ellie, who'd been watching the whole exchange in silent anger, piped up. "We're not gonna let them drag your name through the mud. I'll make them fucking eat it first!" You couldn't help but chuckle at Ellie's choice of words.

"Ellie, as much as I would love to see that... and help you, we can't just go around roughing people up. There's rules here for a reason, unfortunately," you muttered the last part under your breath. "So... what? We just sit back and let them slander Joel!" Ellie threw her hands in the air in irritation. "Absolutely not!" you retorted, determination settling into your voice." We show them just how wrong they are." Joel placed his hands on his hips, a typical stance for him when he's stressed. "And how exactly do we do that?" he asked, sounding defeated.

"By presenting a united front. We make them see how strong and happy we are, all of us..." You look to Ellie, then back to Joel. "We show them there's nothing to hide or be ashamed of, and then they'll have nothing to yap about." Taking Joel's hand, you give it a reassuring squeeze. "And if I hear just one more person bad mouthing you, I'll make sure they regret it." Joel's face softend into a grateful smile. He's not convinced he's worth such loyalty and devotion, but he can't deny the warmth spreading through his chest at the thought of his girls so eager to defend him. It's an odd feeling for him, as he's used to being the protector. He could secretly get used to this.

"It'll be okay. I promise," you say, not letting go of Joel's hand. "We've got your back, old man." Ellie slapped Joel on the back, drawing a chuckle from him. "Not that old, you little shit," he replied in mock offense. "Now... let's go," You moved to grab your coat and boots. "The mess hall is open and I'm starving."

On the way to dinner, you found yourself paying close attention to everyone you passed, noticing a few side eye glances and disapproving looks. And every time, you pulled Joel's arm further around your shoulder and nestled closer into his side, a silent sign to the doubters that you feel no fear or discomfort in his embrace, as you would expect from an abused victim. Dinner wasn't as bad as you were expecting. Maybe Maria's influence with the townsfolk is to thank for that.

However a few inevitable glimpses were thrown in your direction. A middle aged couple made the mistake of allowing their eyes to linger on you for too long as they passed your table and you just couldn't let that slide. "Something you want to say to us?" you narrowed your eyes at them, daring them to open their mouths. Joel's arm snaked it's way around your waist, his jaw ticking as he too, stared them down. The woman's colour left her puffy face, while her husband forced a placating smile.

"Um... uh no, no." You smiled smugly at the alarm the old man was trying and failing to keep from his voice. "Good. keep it that way," Joel growled. The nervous couple looked at one another and hurried on by. Ellie smirked, "Fuck yeah, man! That's how it's done." "Damn right," you agreed, triumphantly. You could feel Joel's whole body relax around you and you gave him a "we've got this" look.

It may take longer than you'd like for all this nonsense to die down, but no matter how long it takes, you'll prove Joel's innocence, one way or another. You remember a saying from "Before"; "it's not all men", and if it's the last thing you do, you're going to make damn sure everyone knows it's certainly not your man!

[pompompurin1028]

for the ask game :> lost in reverie ⭐️ + dazai

A Moment of Respite

Summary: You decided to run a bath for Dazai when he was not feeling the greatest

Pairing: Dazai x reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Bathing together but nothing nsfw

Request: Prompt ⭐️ lost in reverie with Dazai

A/N: Thanks for the ask Aspen! I wasn't sure how much I would write but it seems I got quite inspired! I hope you like it :)

My Masterlist

Dazai's mind is usually racing with thoughts. Thoughts about the day, about how to mess with Kunikida, about how to ruin Chuuya's day the next time he sees him, about future plans to defeat Fyodor. There was rarely a moment when his mind left him alone. Although his mind was one of his greatest strengths, making him an important member both in the mafia and the ADA, sometimes… Dazai was tired of it. 

Dazai wished his mind would quiet down even for a second, give him some space to breathe, give him a moment of peace. 

Sometimes, Dazai envied others. He wished he could have a peace of mind, or have his mind emptied of all thoughts, even just for a second, a moment of tranquillity. There were days when that was all Dazai ever wanted. 

Yet, the moments he found peace were short and rare. Especially when Fyodor had been making plan after plan to defeat the ADA, he had hardly any time for a proper time to rest his mind.

However, while peace seemed distant and unattainable, even momentarily, amidst these stressful hours for the ADA in its battle against Fyodor, Dazai found respite in your arms. 

“My love, are you sure your ability doesn’t nullify mine? Because whenever I am in your arms, all my thoughts seem to slow down,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck one night. “You seem to possess some ability or magic of your own that you are not even aware of, I swear,” he adds softly as he tries to bring you even closer to him, as if wanting to melt into you. “Are you certain you are not deceiving me?”

You chuckled softly at his questions, running your fingers through his soft, brown locks, taking in this moment together with him.

He was tired, you can tell, even if he does not seem like it. Dazai does not enjoy voicing out when he is feeling weak, in need of comfort from you. But having been with him long enough, you have grown to notice the signs.

His hair was messier than usual. You noticed that he usually fixes it up before he comes to see you, because you once said how much you love his fluffy hair. The ends of his bandages were starting to come loose–it must be past the time he should be changing them. He greeted you more softly than usual when he came home; he clung to you more often than usual today. All signs that he was in need of comfort and your love, which you were all too happy to give to him.

“Sometimes, you say the most ridiculous things, Dazai,” you chuckled at his questions. You wanted him to know you were grateful he was still trying to make you laugh, even in such circumstances. “If I had an ability that could counter yours, I am sure that your colleagues will be keeping me under close watch.”

“Hm… Are you saying that all this is just caused by you, then? My, my, you must be even more astonishing than I first thought. You really take my breath away.” 

“Yeah, yeah, keep going with your dramatics. I won’t be flattered so easily.”

He smiles in amusement at your reply. “I must have spoiled you with too much flattery, then, if this is not enough for you. Cannot believe my compliments are starting to get stale!”

“Oh, please, that’s entirely your fault. But if you want me to work my magic on you, can I help you to a bath, love?” You asked him softly, continuing to comb your fingers through his hair as you rested your head on his shoulders. “You seem tired today.” 

He tenses slightly before relaxing. You tried not to look at his face as he slowly worked through the thoughts in his head on how to reply. Despite years of being together, vulnerability did not come to him easily, but you knew he was trying. And you were always there to give him a helping hand when you saw the signs, he was always so stubborn. 

“... Yeah,” he replied softer than usual. “A bath sounds nice actually.”

After making your way to the bathroom, he allowed you to gently peel off the bandages that clung to him like his second skin, revealing the scarred skin that lay beneath. You decided to kiss the revealed skin softly, before you started to unbutton his shirt. 

“Love… you don’t have to do all this,” he says, his breath a bit unsteady, as he is unsure how to react. 

“No, it’s alright, let me help you this once, alright?” 

He could only sigh and nod, letting you take care of him. 

Soon, he was submerged in a tub full of warm water and bubbles, eyes closed, lying his head back against the back of the tub, soaking in the warmth and comfort it provided. For a moment, he seemed at peace. 

“Will you join me?” He asked gently, opening his eyes to look at you. His eyes were warm, crinkling at the corners as he passed you a smile, softer than you would ever see somewhere outside of your home. When he gave you such a smile, you thought he looked more beautiful than usual. “Don’t worry, I won’t try anything, I promise.” Although normally, you would not have believed him, his tone felt sincere.

So, you joined him in the bath. Dazai came to embrace you as you sank into the water; you heard him humming softly to some melody playing in his head. It sounded familiar, like something you have heard before, but you cannot quite place where you have heard it from.

As if he read your mind, he spoke up. “This was the song playing in the cafe when we first met.”

“How do you even remember such things?” You chuckled as he kept you in his embrace, as if he wanted you as close as possible.

“It was a special day, how could I not?”

“Now, let me wash your hair before the water cools down.”

He released your waist reluctantly in reply, his fingers still hovering near them as if he wanted to press his hands against them once again. 

Adding a few pumps of shampoo into your hands, you ran it through his hair, massaging his scalp and working it into his hair.

Letting out a deep sigh, Dazai lets you do your work. You were so gentle with him, in a way he did not feel like he deserved. And yet, as you worked your hands through his hair, a sense of warmth overtook him. It spread from his heart throughout his whole body, relaxing him against your touch, turning his troubled thoughts into bubbles that foamed like shampoo against his hair. In that moment, even just for a second, he felt like he was lost in reverie, that all that was left in the world was just him and you, with your soft touch, warm water and shampoo against his skin. For a moment, it was as if nothing else mattered. 

Although he was pulled out of his daze by the warm water that rinsed foam out of his hair, bringing him back to reality, he felt more at peace than before. For a short moment, he had gotten a taste of respite, and for him, that was more than enough. 

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

You desire to be yourself at all costs. I’m getting a bit of a defensive energy from you, you’re not exactly the type to go out there and fight people but if anyone were to mess with you you’d be defensive. Interestingly, you’d defend yourself mentally, as in, you’d not let them get to you. Action wise though, you’re putting yourself first but learning how to still be fairly generous. You’re being private and secretive, you’re not revealing much of who you are, how you think or what you’re up to to others. You have hope for yourself and the future and you wish to shine in order to become who you’ve always wanted to be. In matters of the heart, you seem to have left someone or possibly multiple people, place or situations behind for the best but you still think about it. You also think about how it took for you to walk away if you were unable to walk away right away. You feel like whatever you had to walk away from was stagnant and caused nothing but unnecessary stress and stagnation in your life. When it comes to the soul, you’re putting self love first. Honestly, as much as you desire connection and feel lonely sometimes, you actually want to focus on yourself. Even if you’re someone who in the past was friendly and tried to form connections, at this point even if connections try to fall right onto your lap, you do not exactly want to take them up. You wish to strengthen your bond with yourself and become more controlled within yourself, and your own life first. About the situation that you left behind, it was something with potential but someone’s ego ended up getting in the way. I feel like it was a person that you had to leave behind (possibly even multiple people) and you were initially confused, you didn’t understand why you were being treated so poorly and why they were being so intolerant towards you until you looked deeper into yourself and realised that some things are better not understood. You have a lot ahead of you, you do not even need to think about the past but yes, you were treated poorly and that’s all there is to it. You may have been sorta obsessed or heavily attached to whatever or whoever this was but it was for the best that you got rid of it. I just heard “it’s not your fault”. Right now, you’re trying to get back in touch with your more gentle and compassionate side despite being pushed into this self protective and defensive place by circumstances. As much as you may desire connections, by this point, you know that no one will save you. You’re not even victimising yourself or anything, you’re just trying to take accountability and responsibility for yourself.

You still recognise that some actions you took were shameful and the way you’ve started thinking, and being is tainted too, you’re trying to clear yourself of all this so that you can get back to being yourself, completely and wholly. Whatever you’ve had to undergo, it’s good that you left it behind because you were meant to do so. Even with a heavy heart, you decided to go forth with self trust. You were left with no choice but to move forward all by yourself is what I’m getting. What you saw to be emotionally fulfilling, stable, reliable and full of love, a place where you had actually invested so much affection into turned out to be something to heal from. In the beginning, you could almost see no way out of it. You didn’t realise when your safe haven had become a trap where you were tied and blindfolded, where you felt so scared and didn’t even know what you were supposed to do and not do. However, you’re someone who has excellent thinking abilities so even though you were unsure of what to do going forward, you decided and managed to find a way out of it. The more time that passed, the more you come to realise just how one sided your most fulfilling and deep connections were, and it disheartens you but a part of you is glad to have grown to the point to be able to see and accept the truth as it is. You’re someone who was often carrying burdens and connections all by yourself, you were taking responsibility for people and connections that were one sided, and wouldn’t have done the same for you. Even after things ended, you’ve had to carry the load of guilt, pain and healing all by yourself, and you’re doing so. It’s unfair that you were neglected and they’re apathetic or seemed to be like it despite the storm that you had to undergo but it’s okay, you are only growing into a more lively and warm version of yourself. The same experiences that have closed you off are giving way to a stronger, wiser, more loving, empathetic, compassionate and refined version of you. Your generosity and sort of naive nature was abused, and you have every right to be disappointed but it won’t do much and you know it. You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself so far, please continue doing so. If you’re yet to walk away from this situation, please do so. In the past, you were trying to manage time well and gave a lot of priority to time management, and quality time. You made a lot of memories in the past and were incredibly kind, giving and loving but it ended in heartbreak, betrayal and disappointed. So in the present, you’re a bit more lonely and isolated, you’ve still not gotten over things mostly because you’ve been unable to socialise enough or with the right kind of people but you’re breaking free from a lot that had you trapped.

There was a point when you felt victimised and trapped, you’re slowly but surely stepping into your power and have realised that you’re not as powerless as you were made to feel. I keep on hearing the song ‘lonely’ by Jonghyun and Taeyeon in my head, I haven’t even listened to that song in more than a year I think. You’re going to build a great deal of stability and achievements for yourself going forward, you’ll not have found the right connections yet but you’ll be grateful to your birth family, community and your birth place or the place where you grew up in some way. You’re going to be and feel abundant, and there will be no space for anyone from the past who comes in trying to act as though nothing happened or to ‘apologise’. You’ll follow the philosophy of “silence is better than explaining sometimes” and you’ll gift them with silence or utmost coldness, and you’ll not think twice about it, you’ll not regret it, and you shouldn’t either! Due to your past experiences, you’ve developed a belief that maybe you’re hard to love, maybe you’ll never be truly chosen or appreciated. About how you should go about resolving and dealing with these kinds of beliefs is by firstly understanding that your anger towards people and situations is fully valid. When and if you’re not appreciated or treated well, you’re allowed to treat them in a similar manner too. The thing with you is that you’re not that kind of a person, you wish to be respectful and fairly diplomatic at all times. So the only way for you to treat others the way they treat is through silence, avoidance and absence. Look back at everything that has happened, everything that has caused you pain and see what makes you feel like you’re unlovable. Ask yourself if it was your environment (what they said, how they treated you, etc.), you simply picking yourself apart, a sense of lack or insecurity, just make sure to get to the root of it and throw that belief out from its root, then fill that place with positive thoughts and beliefs instead. Be present, be pleasant, be proud. If you have an idea for something, feel free to implement it, if you don’t have the resources yet, try to find a way to build those resources because look, if you want to, you will. Put yourself first at all costs but don’t close your heart, love people, maybe not interpersonally until you learn that they’re trustworthy enough but just be a kind person in general. Stop obsessing over such thoughts, let them slip away and reassure yourself when they do come up. Be kind to yourself because how can you feel shitty about possibly never receiving love, being chosen or treated the way you want when you’re not even choosing yourself, when you’re not even treating yourself the way you should be. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

You’re not exactly that optimistic right now. I’m getting that you have become sort of defensive but it’s only because you desire to be your authentic self at all costs. You’ve become very self conscious and regretting the choices, and decisions that you’ve made in the past, especially in regard to some sort of an uncommitted connection. You experienced a breach of trust and loyalty that led you to a period of just feeling shaken and just turned your life upside down. You still hold anger about this situation because you felt as though you lost everything. There was something that was initially fun and you felt really passionate and excited about. It was probably romantic or just significant, you thought the feelings there were real and mutual but it ended in disappointment instead. I’m getting that this was something that wasn’t the developed yet. As in, things didn’t really get anywhere. You felt deceived and insecure about yourself in the end. I think that both parties here acted childlike and childish, there was just some immaturity which led to the connection ending before it even started. You felt rejected and as though the other party was treating you that way with bad intentions. You guys didn’t really communicate, you likely overanalysed the situation and are feeling defensive right now. You are unable to make your mind about this person for some reason. You feel like maybe they didn’t intend on anything serious after all and had ill intentions or didn’t feel much but at the same time, there’s an odd soft spot. This soft spot is not even soft anymore, you’re going to spit out venom if this soft spot is touched 😭. You feel like they tried to sell you some sort of false vision of the future. You lack clarity about the situation and feel stupid to have fallen for whatever this stupid game is. In this reading, you’re going to get the closure that you so desperately seem to need but if you don’t want to, you’ll still not make your mind up about them and the situation. You’ve grown to be someone independent and wise, you’re also grateful for all that you have and try to carry yourself properly. You know that this situation is over but at the same time, you don’t really know. You fear moving on but if they were to come in, due to how they’ve left you feeling so uncertain, you’d not even want to commit and you dislike the fact that you were abandoned but you feel like you don’t even have any right to complain either. Your self esteem has lowered, you really need to get it back. You feel like maybe this was not even all that, you just overestimated its significance? You’ve matured significantly and are trying to move forward but something just seems to hold you back, you still haven’t been able to get rid of your soft spot for them and the memories you made. However, despite the lack of closure and soft spot, you’ve accepted your lot and are trying to move forward. You seem to have kept them deep within yourself though, you think of them when no one is around especially and you like to show as if you’re not thinking about them but they’re still at the back of your mind. You’re still pretty confused and also unhappy about how things ended but you’ve released a lot of fear and you’re still doing so.

You want to see the truth at this point but you’re keeping everything under wraps. For most of you, others may not know how deep your feelings for them run, they may not even know that they hold such effect on you at all. You’re just exhausted of everything. You’re here for the reality check that your soul requires to move forward. I hope you actually make a firm decision to do something with yourself and your mind with the information that I’m going to channel for you. They feel quite hopeless about this situation too. You make them feel pretty unstable and it’s not like you do anything wrong, it’s just the dynamic between the both of you. They’ve always had mixed feelings about you and try to be neutral about you. It’s funny because you make them feel extremes. There is this weird feeling of being deeply connected with one another. However, I’m not sure if you know about it but maybe they dated someone else after the both of you went no contact so well, they basically did choose someone else and you deserve better than that. They feel held back from you and are acting like they are persistently moving forward in life (which they are) and aren’t really doing much towards you. They’re focused on refining themself, building their life and trying to create more inner harmony. Maybe if it’s not someone from the past and you’re dealing with someone like this right now and can pick up on odd vibes from them, this is how it’s going to end up but well going forward with the reading, in terms of their intentions, they do not and have not intended anything serious. They’re incredibly focused on building a certain life for themself and you do not fit the mold and you shouldn’t have to, you’re yourself and that’s okay. It’s not like anything is wrong with you, they’re being cautious, they fear getting hurt too. The feelings here are pretty strong but they choose to maintain this half heartedness and you deserve better than that. Especially if they got with someone else, that’s your answer right there, you deserve so much better. They feel protective of you and desired to take care of you. They intended on being compassionate with you but the dynamic between you seems to be such that you’re not even sure if you’re friends, foes, strangers or lovers. It’s confusing to them too. They think that things between you have ended and you’ve changed a lot since the last time they saw you. They think that you’re going with the flow and that your connection didn’t develop the way it could have. There’s this sense of things being left unfinished that you both share. They remember how fun you were and how big your aura, and energy were. They just have the desire to be physically intimate with you, it isn’t conscious but they want to touch you in innocent ways too. They could have done that in the past, touching your head, measuring hands or just any excuse to be around you. They also can’t deny how much they themself have changed. Deep feelings were involved despite the surface level aggression and lack of progression. Both parties lacked tact. There was a lot of attraction between the both of you and they have not forgotten you either, you’re not easy to forget either, you’re not easy to get over either.

You still deserve so much better, don’t let them hold you back anymore. Characterise people by their actions and you’ll never be fooled by their words. Oftentimes people do not need to tell you anything, their actions tell you everything that you need to know. Compromise on your feelings for right now so that you can protect them on the long term. That’s true self love, respect and protection. About how you should go about healing yourself. Put yourself first at all times, it’s very important. I’m also hearing that you should enter the world with a new zest. Get moving, go to new places that you’re not familiar with, help those in need and be selfish, as in, understand that you’re valuable and when it comes to interpersonal connections your needs, wants, desires, boundaries and values need to be prioritised just as much as the other person’s. Listen to your inner self and don’t forget who you truly are. You’re still discovering yourself so you do not need to know all about who you are yet, just don’t forget your true essence. You were hurt, don’t forget that. Be honest with yourself, come clean about anything you might have done unrelated to this person that you’re not proud of (to yourself) and actively decide to do better, and lead a more intentional life. Your past self regardless of any hurt or pain was someone who decided to walk away but it caused you to develop a lack of control and therefore, a need for it. It could have manifested in ways where you wanted to be right in every conversation, where you got angry when things didn’t go your way, etc. You were lazy, lacked goals or didn’t have it in you to follow through with plans. You were undisciplined and indecisive, and were put at a point where you didn’t even know what to do, like legit, you didn’t know if you were supposed to laugh or cry. Currently you hold a great hatred or at least dislike for certain things, people or characteristics. You have a lot of rage within you and feel vulnerable at times and also betrayed but you are slowly regaining the strength to become compassionate and loving again. You’re a charismatic charmer who’s warm and enjoys fun. You’re also someone disciplined who likes to consistently work towards what you desire. Your passion is something that can’t be taken away from you and I’m happy about that because you’re still as passionate as ever. Your future holds many achievements for you and also a community, you are going to receive respect and will have developed really thick skin by then. You’ll have become someone who has it in you to undergo any situation and stand firm but will be willing to walk away at the first two signs of disrespect. You will have a life that’s moving for you and will not be willing to stop your life for anyone. You will have a lot of hope for the future and will become someone who’s looked up to for inspiration. You’ll conduct yourself with a down to earth humanitarian nature but a part of you will always remain distant and untouched. You’ll be deeply intriguing and I heard a ‘dream girl’. I’m hearing the song ‘head over heels’ in my mind, you might give off the vibes of that song. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

You don’t need to hear anything except that you’re doing well plus some advice. Mentally, you seem to be restricted, guarded and just resisting. You’re resisting everything that’s trying to overpower you and rise above it all. You have been through life turning events and have had the rug swept right off your feet yet you choose to hold your ground. You are defensive to a certain extent as in, you’re willing to guard yourself against anything or anyone that tries to stray you away from this knowing that you’re powerful. You have the knowledge that everything is an illusion and that life is in fact what you make it. You’re also aware that you’re going to spend the majority of your life within your mind so you try to make it a good place to be in. Your thoughts revolve around self control and holding yourself back from guilty pleasures or anything that could cause you harm or pain in the future. You’re using your inner resources and letting go of all that you know is better let go of. You feel like certain thought patterns and ways don’t benefit you so you’re trying to do better than that. You’ve become someone who’s willing to give up and won’t be all persistent for people, connections and situations that don’t show growth. It’s not like you were not shaken, at some point, you had your world turning upside down and despite trying to hold yourself together, everything was just very hard for you but you still managed to just be intentional and in turn, have those intentions help you out. Are you by any chance into manifesting or at least believe in something magical happening when a human is being authentic to themself and keeping their attention, energy, thoughts and vibrations in the right place? Whether or not you believe in the concept of manifesting as a whole, you believe and understand the importance of intentions, actions, vibrations, mindset, etc. You have a great deal to influence others but you don’t want to do it in an influencer manner. When you influence someone, you want it to be because your authentic self was so touching to them that they inevitably were influenced, positively at that. You try to be a positive influence for yourself, trying to be intentional and also with others. You seem to be mindful in general though, I’ve gotta say that your focus on your goals can cause you to be too intentional towards them instead. You’re still actively trying to cut through anything that is trying to get to you and maintain a balanced judgement about life and people. You do not wish to hate particular groups of people because you were wronged by a few of them or believe that you’ll never be loved because some people couldn’t love you the way you needed and wanted to be loved.

Instead, you want to maintain an even judgment of what happened and how you, and others played a part in it. You’re not someone who minds taking accountability but you’ve realised that this quality of yours has and can lead you to being used as a scapegoat or to guilt trip you so you’re also trying to be more discerning going forward. You were stuck in situations too long because you might have been trying to see and understand things from the other party’s perspective but when you felt like it was getting too much, you decided to leave despite things being unresolved so sometimes the past does try to haunt you but you still try to leave it behind. You try to grow emotionally, be active if possible at least to a certain extent and be in the present moment instead. You try to focus on the positives like how there is always something to be grateful for, even if it’s just the little things. Life is not too exciting but you’re still not letting your zest for it die. Keep going, young champ. I’m hearing those lyrics “even if you leave, I may fine cause my heart, it has its own design”, you have developed this understanding that no matter who leaves, you will be fine, you should be fine by this point. It has happened a lot, pretty deeply too, while your heart was still deeply attached to people, things ended or you decided to end them which led to you still being emotionally attached to them, and every time you thought it would get better it didn’t, you also really desired and needed a closure but you have decided to give yourself one instead. You understand that emotional cycles for you have either come to an end or are coming to an end with many obstacles and delays. It is a bit sad because you feel like you did waste quite a bit of time mourning, crying or hurting over things that were not that good to begin with or made you feel like you weren’t good enough, where someone else was prioritised over you or you were excluded, etc. but you understand that you just wanted to have a community and be loved so you’re choosing to not be too hard on yourself. You understand that for you connections are something celebratory and like family, you desire and need stability, and you’re just firm on that belief. You feel like, you too, did deserve someone who would try to understand you and meet you in the level of depth that you try to meet everyone. You probably really enjoy the found family trope. Right now, you’re focused on winning in every aspect and remaining self disciplined. I wonder if there are any cancer or fourth house placements here. Possibly even capricorn. Currently, you’re using two completely different aspects of your personality to navigate life and emotional matters.

You probably have goals that you’re working on and are truly doing everything in order to live your dream. You also try to make every day mean as much as possible. When it comes to your soul, you’re more focused on yourself and your own path rather than connections. Even if you do desire connections, because you desire deep ones, unless you can find anything that matches up to that, you are focused on making your own name and achieving your goals. Your soul desires to gain recognition and be self sufficient, and abundant within yourself. My piece of advice to you is to add more passion into your life and not be greedy when working towards your goals. There is a lot of knowledge, wisdom and love around if you simply look around, setting the distractions of the human conditions away. Turns out, I didn’t really have to give you much advice. You seem to be doing well, be proud of yourself. I’m rooting for you, from here. Oh yeah, about your past present and future, in the past, you were over giving and people pleasing to a certain extent, don’t shame yourself for it because you were conditioned to do so and you also carried everything by yourself, you acted and felt like everything was your fault and responsibility even when it was not. There have been times when you’ve had to deal with really one sided connections and in the present, you understand how cold the world is so you try to navigate it strategically, however, you’ve not lost your kindness and try to be generous, and spread warmth everywhere you go but you value reciprocity, and don’t put your energy into places, people and situations that are undeserving of it. In the future, you might be able to look at your past i.e. your present moment and maybe even your current past as something beautiful. You might go back to your school, university, old workspace, childhood home or spend more time with your family. I’m getting some reminiscence of childhood taking place. You’re going to try to build more stability for yourself and have the understanding that everything you need is on the ground. You’ll still be trying to cultivate more wealth though. You’ll have a very ride or die nature and will want people who would stick through with you through anything and everything. People who just have it in them to support you through the various twists and turns of life. You won’t want to closely engage with those whose love for you is not strong enough to stand the issues of life. You’ll believe that “life happens” is just an excuse because life is going to continue happening and using that as an excuse to abandon people and connections is just funny to you. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

[cxlrayne]

Disguised as Danger

Platonic ! Fluff - neglected child GN! reader x fatherly kidnapper

Synopsis: Despite being born into a rich family, your simple needs weren't fulfilled, and you weren't treated and loved like a child properly. And, against all odds, your kidnapper was the one who was able to satisfy your basic necessities and became your guardian.

Note: English is my second language

enjoy!

Doing all the wealthy guys' dirty work? Cassius is already used to it. For him, it's just another normal day in his world, completing another "under the table" job assigned by his shitty boss.  It's already clear that he thinks about the life he could have had if he hadn't been born into this world.

So just imagine it when he kidnapped you, a rich family's child. He thought you'd be loudly crying like some spoiled nepo baby—

—and indeed you did cry, however it was different from what he imagined.

Of all things, you cried because he gave you a bed to sleep, food to eat, water to drink—in short, all the basic necessities. Aren't you supposed to have all that, but in a luxurious version? You know, with silk sheets and caviar?

Instead of you crying like some sort of unruly child, you clung onto him, your small fingers digging into his worn leather jacket, your breath hitching as you fought back the tears while thanking him endlessly.

He was baffled. He couldn't believe you weren't begging to be returned to your luxurious life. Weren't you supposed to beg him to go back home? Or is his mind playing tricks on him...?

Surely you were just clinging onto him like a koala and acting to get favors right...?

And when he tried to contact your rich, good-for-nothing parents you did the opposite—you clung onto him, your small hands gripping his arm, begging him not to.

Now, he was really confused. Don't blame him for not getting any clues, he's just a man who's too busy fulfilling his jobs, not realizing his living under a rock.

He was horrified and dumbfounded when he dug some information about your well-being, discovering that you weren't properly taken care of—and let me tell you that he took it to heart. And instead of returning you, he kept you, protected you, and treated you like a human being.

He didn't care if his boss complained about him not doing his job properly and threatened him. After all, Cassius was a guy who did a lot of killings and shady businesses, so his boss should be the one to fear him and be threatened whenever he felt his presence.

Cassius abandoned his task and threatened his boss to give him the paycheck, which was really successful because he had scary privileges, and acted as your guardian.

He took you to different places, buying you everything your heart desired, plushies, desserts, toys, clothes, anything no matter the cost.

Whenever Cassius had missions, he'd bring you along, his presence comforting you. He'd be protecting you like some sort of bodyguard, his hand always close at hand, ready to shield you from anything.

One time, when you accidentally saw him beat up a guy, he feared that you'd get scared of him. However, you were giggling, considering that you were just an innocent and clueless child.

Making you laugh, he'd do everything to make you laugh, smile or giggle. Despite him being a big scary guy, it was an easy job for him to make you laugh.

At times when you were crying, you'd clung onto him and he'd soothe you, until you'd fall asleep in his arms. After that, he'd find who made his baby cry like that, and maybe, beat them to death? It's not Cassius' fault, it's the only choice he had...

He would sacrifice himself for you at any time, given that you weren't properly loved and cared for, because you were his child despite the circumstances.

He would do things that your parents didn't fulfill in your life, even simple things. Like tucking you to sleep, reading you a book, singing you a lullaby, combing your hair, anything that you could imagine.

You were his child after all, a child to be loved and taken care of.

[pucksandpower]

Achilles Come Down

Charles Leclerc x soft dom!Reader

Summary: sometimes you have to take control to get Charles out of his own head

Warnings: 18+ content

Based on this request with some little hints here and there that the reader is Charles’ race engineer (inspired by him getting a new race engineer all of a sudden in real life)

The garage is eerily quiet as you make your way towards Charles’ driver’s room, the usual buzz of activity muted in the wake of his DNF. His familiar red race suit is marred by streaks of oil and rubber, a physical reminder of the mechanical failure that ended his race prematurely.

Charles stalks ahead of you, his body taut with frustration. You can practically see the negative thoughts racing through his mind, the self-recrimination and second-guessing he’s so prone to despite the circumstances being completely out of his control.

“Charles, wait up,” you call out, struggling to match his clipped pace. He pauses with his hand on the door handle, jaw clenched.

“What is there to say, Y/N? My race is over before it could even properly begin.” The defeat in his voice cuts you deeply.

“This wasn’t your fault,” you insist, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “A rear brake malfunction is out of your hands.”

He shrugs you off, throat bobbing with repressed emotion. “I’m the one behind the wheel. I should have sensed something was wrong, made adjustments ...”

“You can’t control every little thing on that car, no matter how talented you are,” you interrupt firmly. “Sometimes factors outside your control are going to screw things up. Dwelling on it won’t change that.”

Charles lets out a harsh exhale, raking frustrated fingers through his sweat-dampened curls. “Easy for you to say. It’s not your championship hopes slipping away with every botched race.”

You resist the urge to snap back, knowing his irritability stems from disappointment rather than any real malice towards you. Taking a calming breath, you change tacks.

“Okay, let’s go inside and get you out of that suit at least,” you suggest in a gentler tone. “We can debrief the data after you’ve had a chance to reset.”

Charles hesitates, chewing on his full lower lip in an unconscious gesture of indecision. You frame his face with your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze.

“Trust me, baby. Let me take care of you for once.”

The rigidity finally seeps from his stance as he gives a jerky nod of acquiescence. You push open the door and usher him inside, the familiar smells of his favorite Dior cologne and heat-weathered leather enveloping you both.

Once the door clicks shut, blocking out the distractions of the paddock, you move in close to begin unzipping Charles’ kinetic race suit. He stands stiffly as you peel away each layer until he’s stripped down to just his snug fireproof undershirt and shorts.

Running soothing hands over his tense shoulders and neck, you knead at the knots of muscles corded there. A low exhale shudders from Charles’ lips as some of the pent-up stress bleeds out of his frame.

“That’s it, let it all go,” you murmur. “Your only job now is to relax and let me take over for once.”

“Yes ma’am,” he mumbles, the barest ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You circle around to face him again, hands roaming over the lean muscles of his chest and abs through the thin fabric. Leaning in, you capture his lips in a deep, probing kiss, slanting your mouth over his again and again until his tension fully dissolves and he melts into your touch.

“Better?” You ask with a quirked brow as you finally pull back, taking in his dazed expression.

“Getting there,” Charles replies, pupils already blown wide with arousal. He surges forward to recapture your lips hungrily.

You allow him to control the heated kiss for a few indulgent moments before taking charge once more, pushing firmly against his chest until the backs of his thighs hit the edge of the sleek, ultra-modern sofa. He flops back with a breathless chuckle as you crawl over him, straddling his waist and rocking your hips against his in a pointed grind.

“Just relax and let me handle this,” you rasp against the hinge of his jaw, relishing the full-body shudder that wracks his frame.

Your hands deftly slip beneath the hem of his undershirt, pushing it up and over his head to expose his toned upper body before latching your lips to the hollow of his throat. Charles tips his head back in blissful surrender as you lavish hot, openmouthed kisses along the thunderous pulse point and down the sculpted grooves of his chest.

His hands struggle to find purchase as your mouth trails lower still, tracing nonsensical patterns through the trial of hair. Every swirl of your tongue is deliberate, thorough, a reminder to him to stay grounded in the present moment, focused solely on the exquisite sensations you’re lavishing upon his body.

You pause with your face hovering inches above the waistband of his shorts, reveling in the pure want burning in Charles’ lust-darkened gaze as he watches you through his veil of tousled chestnut curls. Hooking your fingers into the stretchy material, you ease it down, never breaking that heated eye contact.

Charles is already achingly hard, hips twitching upwards in search of some kind of delicious friction. You blow a teasing stream of air over his length, relishing the way he squirms and lets out a guttural moan. Only then do you take him fully into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the velvety crown before sinking down in one smooth glide.

“F-Fuck ...” Charles’ head thrashes against the armrest as his hands scrabble uselessly at the supple leather, trying and failing to find purchase. You hum in satisfaction around your mouthful, the vibrations jolting through him with dizzying intensity.

Knowing he’s dangerously close already, you ease off with one last lingering lick. Charles whines in protest, hips canting upwards to chase that incredible heat and suction. But rather than continuing with your talented mouth, you throw one lean leg over his body to straddle his hips once more.

Charles swallows hard as you reach behind to unclasp your lacy bra, shrugging it off your shoulders and allowing it to puddle onto the floor. He tracks the motion with rapt attention, fingers twitching with the overwhelming need to touch.

Before he can make a move, you halt him with a stern look and guiding hand wrapped around his wrist. “Nuh-uh, I’m in charge here, remember?”

Charles makes a thin, desperate sound but complies, allowing you to pin both wrists above his head. His chest heaves with each shuddering inhale as he watches you shimmy out of your skin tight jeans with your core hovering just above his straining length.

Then, maintaining that heated eye contact, you sink down unbearably slowly until he’s sheathed fully inside you. Charles’ mouth drops open in a low keen as you begin to move in an unhurried grind, savoring each delicious inch.

“You feel that?” You rasp, leaning down to capture his plush bottom lip between your teeth. “You’re not alone in this, baby. I’ve got you.”

Charles nods frantically, hips jerking upwards in a broken rhythm to chase that incredible friction. You release his wrists in favor of framing his face, anchoring him to this intense connection amid the swirling sensations.

“Don’t think about the race or the championship,” you order in a low murmur. “There’s only you and me, here and now. Got it?”

“Yes ...” Charles moans in affirmation as your pace picks up the tiniest bit, guiding him closer and closer to that blissful edge.

Perspiration sheens over both your bodies, slick skin sliding together in an intoxicating glide. His hands roam hungrily over every inch of you, mapping each sculpted curve and plane like a long-cherished map. You snake one hand between your joined bodies to stroke him in counterpoint to your rolling undulations, determined to shatter him into a million ecstatic pieces.

Charles’ breath grows increasingly ragged, each strangled cry of pleasure driving you higher towards your own shattering peak. “Look at me,” you demand, cupping his stubbled jaw. His glassy emerald eyes lock onto yours obediently. “I’m all that matters right now.”

He shudders beneath you, mouth dropping open in a choked groan as his orgasm slams into him with full force. You bear down harder, chasing your own release to the soundtrack of his gasping whimpers. White-hot pleasure detonates through your nerve endings, leaving you breathless and trembling in its wake.

Collapsing bonelessly atop him, you nuzzle against the slick hollow of his throat, placing a tender kiss over his pulse as you both struggle to catch your breath. Charles’ arms envelop you, his frame still quivering with aftershocks.

“Better?” You murmur against his salted skin, unable to resist a teasing smirk.

A breathless laugh huffs from his lips. “So much better. I ...” He pauses, seeming to search for the right words. “Thank you, mon ange. For not letting me spiral.”

“Always,” you vow simply, tilting your head to capture his lips in a deep, searing kiss. When you finally break apart, his eyes are warm and clear, no longer clouded by that self-destructive darkness.

A tender smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you brush back the damp chestnut curls from his forehead. In this quiet moment, with his body and soul laid bare before you, you know the roles have switched once more. He’s gone from race driver to simply Charles — your Charles — and you’ll protect that brilliant light within him with everything you have.

“We can debrief the data later,” he murmurs, mirroring your earlier words with a contented grin. “For now, I just want to stay right here with you.”

[bombuni]

contains: poly!ateez x gn!reader, soft ateez taking care of u, non-verbal and self-isolating reader, implied depressed/chronically ill reader

you: babies i think it’s better if you don’t come over tonight

joong: Everything ok?

minmin: but im hungry and u said u’d make dinner :(

woo: WE’RE HUNGRY!!! OM NOM NOM

you: just not feeling it tonight. sorry

You shut your phone off with guilt weighing in your heart. You had promised your boys a nice home-made dinner after a hard week full of non-stop practicing. You knew they’d been looking forward to it the entire week, the stress-free time they’d get to spend with you, but, there’s a pit in your stomach that’s been growing the past week and now it’s big enough to stop you from doing anything else but wallow in your thoughts. Now the guilt just adds to it.

There’s times when you don’t have energy for anything. Not even for your favorite people on Earth and it’s simply your body’s fault. At least you try to tell yourself that.

There’s no response to your last message and you sent it an hour ago. Usually you’d be suspicious about the lack of whining and bickering, but you’re just too tired to worry as fatigue fogs your senses. You’re set for a night of self-pity when your front door unlocks, myriads of voices barging in and breaking the calm of your apartment. You already feel a headache coming on as Wooyoung, like usual, argues about whatever hill he’s chosen to die on.

You want to get up to greet them, but somethings stopping you. The pit in your stomach almost weighs you down, your limbs too heavy to move now. You sigh and surrender to your body’s fatigue.

Seonghwa watches you with a sad look on his face. He knows all the tell-tale signs of your sad ruts by now, the most obvious of all being when you go out of your way to isolate yourself. It hurts him because he wants to help you, but he‘s not quite sure how to do it right with you.

“Sweet thing,” he coos quietly and lays a gentle hand atop yours, “how do you feel?”

His attention turns a switch on in you, feeling yourself melt against his soft touch and caring voice. You shrug, feeling a loss of words. You don’t really have any to describe how you feel. Or rather, there’s a boulder in your throat stopping you from even attempting to say anything.

Hongjoong and San walk over, the latter immediately scooping you up into his arms despite Seonghwa’s protests. Hongjoong leans over the back of the couch, carding his fingers through your hair and tutting at the state you’re in.

“You’re not getting rid of us that easy, you know,” he mumbles.

San looks right at you even if you won’t meet his eyes, trying his best to communicate the worry he has because he knows words don’t work with you when you’re like this. Seonghwa flicks San’s forehead, pulling a loud noise of protest out of him, “Aren’t you supposed to be helping in the kitchen?”

San responds by pulling you tightly against him and closing his eyes in bliss. Seonghwa grumbles something about disrespect, but walks away to help in the kitchen himself. It’s starting to feel a little warm with San’s irresistible need to touch you and Hongjoong’s eyes not once leaving your form. It gets unbearably hot when you feel Mingi’s lips against the crown of your head, Wooyoung doing the same and immediately jumping into gently scolding you for pushing them away.

Hongjoong wants to agree but he knows it’s not what you need right now. He shushes Wooyoung, “Did you take your meds yet?”

You shake your head. Yunho walks up to you, bending down to hand you your medicine with a kind smile on his face. He takes your hand in his when you swallow your pills, kissing each of your knuckles gently, as if he fears scaring you away.

“Here.” Yeosang passes you a glass of water. There’s eight pairs of eyes on you and you can feel each one. It’s like they’re watching a zoo animal on display and you’d laugh at the thought in any other circumstance.

Jongho stands across you, intently staring you down, “You know you can’t just expect us to leave you alone, right?”

San pulls your head into his chest and throws protective arms over you as if you’re a kid getting a scolding, “Don’t be mean.”

Jongho is about to retort before Seonghwa stops him, “Ok! Ok, what Jongho means,” he kneels down next to Yunho with a gentle expression aimed at you, “Is that we want to help you, sweetheart. And it’s hard to do that when you don’t allow us to,”

Yeosang scratches at his neck as he finds the words, “We know it’s hard for you to do that, but…”

Hongjoong continues for him, “We’re just asking that you try at least. Okay?”

You hesitantly nod into San’s chest and you feel him let out a sigh of relief. Wooyoung speaks up from behind you, “You’re hogging ‘em, Sannie,”

He shakes his head violently and hugs you tighter, “No ‘m not.”

Mingi grimaces, “You totally are.”

It’s all-out war again and your body shakes between theirs as each one tries to take you for themselves. San’s still got a good grip on you as Yunho, Seonghwa, and Jongho fight to pull him off of you. Wooyoung and Mingi stand back and argue with San, really the only thing they’re good for. Hongjoong and Yeosang grimace and watch the events unfold, only waiting to step in if they notice you get overwhelmed.

But you don’t. You feel warm and loved and happy, and there’s a bubble of laughter forming in your throat and surpassing the boulder that was stuck in you before. You’ll take it one step at a time, and they’ll take that step with you.

bom note: this is for the gays with chronic fear of being emotionally vulnerable. i tried to make readers issues as vague as possible for u. Also realistically i would not want 8 men all up in my space when im in one of these moods but it’s fantasy ok shhh