#Debbie is his long term partner and I don’t even care if you change HER gender either
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Fester: Oh, I don’t really care what pronouns you use on me, but if you get my slurs wrong I’ll set you on fire.
Debbie: You’re so valid, babe. *adds poison to his coffee*
Fester: Thank you, my love.
#wednesday#addams family#addams family values#debbie jellinsky#fester addams#I believe in Debbie supremacy and I think the Wednesday Fester is GQ#Debbie is his long term partner and I don’t even care if you change HER gender either#she can be a he or a they#but Debbie is pink and white princess spouse#she learns how to make poisons from Grandmama
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I have a question that I wanna know your thoughts on, if you care to have them :). When and how do you think Brian Kinney became Brian Kinney. The ‘no excuses, no apologies, no regrets’ Brian Kinney. And when do you think he became the stud of Liberty Avenue? I mean Debbie does tell in s1 that Brian has basically been a loose canon since the day Michael met him when they were 14. And in season 5 i think it’s revealed they went to the club for the first time when they were like 17/18 and Brian even makes a tiny brag about the backroom (btw i will never be over that scene because they put them in “teens” clothes and said fuck it) but I always wondered at what point did Brian become ‘the man, the myth, the legend’ and like how that had to be for him and his friends or I guess Mikey since he was obsessed with him and then suddenly he was fucking everyone. Sorry for such a random all over the place question, you can tell I recently started a rewatch.
Oh dear sweet anon! I love all {kind} asks in my askbox equally, but some I love more equally than others. You have truly unleashed the beast with this one as I literally have a doctorate in analyzing characters (sure, at work I call it ‘case conceptualization’ but tomato tomahto and all.) I’m going to put this all under a “read more” because I love my mutuals and I don’t want to subject their dashes to what is undoubtedly going to be an unhinged character analysis. Pour yourself a beverage of your choosing, grab a snack, and buckle in.
My mother is a frigid bitch. My father was an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is probably why I am…unwilling or unable to form a long-term, committed relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs, and have, more or less, redefined promiscuity doesn’t help…much. As a result I have lost the two people in my life that mean the most to me.
- Brian Kinney, 508
Early Childhood
Brian is the youngest of two from married parents. His mother, Joan, is not employed outside the home and is devoted to her Catholic faith. His father, Jack, is employed in some unnamed blue collar job and is a union man. His older sister, Claire, is a presence but left the home and married and had children shortly thereafter. Both Brian’s parents struggle with undiagnosed and untreated alcohol use disorder. They are both abusive in their own ways. Brian suffers physical abuse at the hands of his father. He suffers emotional abuse in the form of religious trauma and neglect in the form of Joan not intervening when Brian is being hit by his father by his mother. He also grows up with the family lore that he was an unwanted child and his father asked him mother to abort him. In his understanding, it is his mother’s Catholic faith that has doomed him to this miserable life. And throughout his life, it is clear his mother cares more for outwards appearances within her church community and for his eternal soul than his happiness here on earth. He observes their marriage as a hateful one. Jack cheats on Joan and apologizes with empty gestures (bringing her flowers) and words (apologies and good behavior before reverting back to his philandering ways). He’s told repeatedly by his father that Jack should never have been a family man, that Kinney men not not designed to be family men. In other words, Kinney men are not made to be “tied down” to one partner. And in the absence of a model or understanding of an ethical nonmonogamy, Brian learns that men, if they have partners, will cheat. Brian also learns from his family that words and apologies are empty - Jack can apologize to Joan but if he never changes, what worth do his words have?
We also see from his family where his determination to earn money and be able to afford a luxurious lifestyle comes from. He is determined to avoid any suffering (failing at monogamy, struggling to pay bills) that they endured.
Adolescence
Around age 14/15 Brian meets Michael Novotny. He either moves to Pittsburgh or several junior high schools feed into one high school (this is not uncommon in the US). Michael worships him immediately - Michael is gay and Brian is cute. And then Brian defends Michael against the school bullies. Brian also meets Debbie and either meets or hears of Uncle Vic. For the first time in his life, Brian has adults who are accepting of their son being gay, he has a model of a gay man who is loved by his family (for the most part - there’s reference to a sister that rejects Vic and a grandmother who may be oblivious to her son’s sexuality). He receives mixed messages from the Novotnys. From Michael, he gets a best friend. Someone with whom he can be silly and have fun. But everything they reference from their teen years is about Mikey’s interests - the Captain Astro club for instance. What were Brian’s interests as a teen? Did anyone nurture them? In Mikey he also gets someone where he can safely explore his sexuality (Patrick Swayze). In Debbie he gets a mother figure who is a firm (albeit imperfect) ally. We don’t know when the Liberty Diner opened or when Debbie began working there, but there is a sense she was also a portal to the world of Liberty Avenue and the diner provided a sort of safe-for-teens queer space. However, Debbie also cares for her son first and foremost (as she should!). She is not Brian’s parent. When she sees Brian’s influence taking Mikey down a path of - getting in trouble at school for fighting back against bullies, sneaking out to go to Liberty Avenue, espousing an nonmonogamy ethic, experimenting with drugs and alcohol - she rightly calls him out. However, with his background, when she - a clearly loving mother who would have no reason to lie - calls him a little shit or an asshole, he believes it. There is a paradox that develops where Brian does not believe words because they are meaningless so refuses to apologize or make promises - unless those words are cruel and directed at him, especially by people he trusts.
For historical purposes, this is taking place in 1985 or 1986 - as the AIDS crisis is reaching an inflection point. The CDC (US Center for Disease Control) estimates that more people were diagnosed with AIDS than in all earlier years combined (source). It is impossible to overstate the impact this had on the queer community more generally, and on Brian more specifically. We see his unwavering commitment to using a condom even in the face of other reckless behavior. As someone who predominantly tops, he is at lower risk of contracting HIV but he cares enough about his partners to never ever fuck without one. His alcohol and drug misuse harms him and him alone, fucking without a condom harms others. Coming of age during the height of the AIDS crisis shaped Brian. We don’t know exactly when Vic seroconverts but we know that relatively shortly before the Pilot episode, Vic was on his deathbed and Debbie was nursing him and they go on that trip to Italy and max out all of Vic’s credit cards… (because those credit card statements come to him in S1) So the AIDS crisis is also front and center in this little safe(r) space Brian has found away from his childhood home. With the AIDS crisis there is also a loss of nearly a complete generation of gay men who could have provided a model for the type of relationship Brian and Justin eventually try to find for themselves. I’ll say it again AIDS WIPED OUT AN ENTIRE GENERATION. We learn from the models around us. If we are an ethnic minority, we learn about that from our parents. As queer people, we often cannot learn from our parents how to be queer. We need queer elders in our communities. Brian comes of age exactly as all those queer elders are dying and changing their lifestyles to protect themselves and their partners from a hideous disease with (at the time) no known treatment and in which the government’s inaction is actively contributing to the loss of entire communities.
And then we have the famous locker room gym teacher incident. Brian’s first (as far was we know) sexual experience was at age 14 (iirc) when he walked into the showers after soccer practice and saw his coach showering. Brian as a gay teen, gets hard, and to cover up any embarrassment about what this reveals about him (it’s the 80s in a public American HS!) gets on his knees and gives the coach a blowjob. This is the first instance of Brian using sex and his sexuality to protect himself and to empower himself. However, he is a kid and a student and he has been taken advantage of by a teacher. No matter how much Brian tells himself (believes) that he was in power in that situation, the power dynamics are always that the teacher has power. That is the reason those laws exist (and even when everyone is an adult, professors cannot sleep with their over 18 college students, nor can they sleep with their graduate students - that goes against every university’s guidelines because that power imbalance cannot be erased). Brian may not self-identify as such but he is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Late Adolescence/Early Adulthood
Around 17/18 we know Brian and Mikey are sneaking into Babylon and Brian is engaging in more experimentation with his sexuality. How is this different than Justin doing the same? Well, first and foremost Justin’s was incredibly lucky that Brian was the one to take him home that first night and treat him with respect and kindness. Brian made sure he enjoyed his first time. Brian’s speech about wanting Justin to always remember this tells us that virginity, while a vile social construct, is something that can feel very important. And the first time being penetrated can set the stage for one’s expectations and beliefs about what is good and normal for future experiences. Does Brian realize this because his first time with penetrative sex was similarly good and kind or because it was the opposite?
We also know that Brian graduates high school and goes to a traditional four year university/college (per fanon it’s Carnegie Mellon where Ben is later a professor and is a prestigious university) where he meets Lindsay. Unlike, Brian, Michael attends a few semesters of a community college. Anon, I’m not sure if you’re in the US but a community (or junior) college is usually a two year college that is intended to prepare students for transferring to complete their education at a 4 year college or university. Some students just complete their Associates Degrees and do not transfer. The reason a student might do this is a) finances - community colleges are public and much less expensive than 4 year institutions (even 4 year public universities) and b) readiness - if a student’s high school grades are not good enough to get into a 4 year institution or the student personally doesn’t feel ready for college course work, attending a community college is a great place to get adjusted to college level coursework (classes tend to be smaller, especially compared with large universities). My spouse is a community college professor, nothing but respect to the community colleges. Mikey probably attended due to finances and poor grades (he is canonically not book smart). Brian comes from a similar background financially - I would find it hard to believe that Jack, who later asks his son for money, was saving for college tuition when Brian was a child. Given the lavish lifestyle Brian later leads, I find it hard to believe he took out (predatory) student loans (he also doesn’t mention them among his expenses post- Concerned Citizens for the Truth so I’m going to believe he doesn’t have them). I am going to guess that he attended a prestigious private university (in 2021-2022 tuition for one year at CMU was $58,924 and in 2023 it was $62,260 with another nearly $20k for room and meal plan) on a combination of Pell Grants (for students with exceptional financial need) and merit based scholarships (due to good grades in high school). This means that Brian, in order to gain admission and to earn scholarships to afford to go, despite all his antics at school (ahem chemistry club!), was studious enough to earn the grades needed. This is no small thing. For comparison, I attended a high school in one of the wealthiest school districts in the US and I had special counselors who helped me decide what schools to apply to, how to craft my applications to be more competitive, and I was taught explicitly ways of approaching SATs (college admissions test) that improved my scores (like test taking strategies). Basically I had every advantage. Brian had none of that. I imagine the school district that the Kinneys and Novotnys would live in, would not have all those advantages. In the US, local tax dollars pay for schools - wealthy areas have better schools as a result. It says a lot about Brian - his determination, his native intelligence, and his ability to code-switch and pass as someone who belongs as at a place like CMU - that he succeeded.
This is also the first time that he is apart from Mikey. He’s making new friends like Lindsay who come from wealth and privilege and getting a taste of that life. He is also away from Mikey’s hero worship and any pressure from Mikey (and Debbie) to date Mikey. He probably sleeps his way through the gay, bisexual, and questioning male student body. I do believe at this point he probably hadn’t instituted his “no repeats” rule but he learns that after a certain number of hook ups, expectations begin to build. He doesn’t want to be his father, so it’s safest to make sure his partners have no expectations. He learns that if people expect the least and the worst from him, he will never disappoint them.
We know that if he wasn’t before, he’s certainly experimenting with drugs in college (references to spiking the punch with ecstasy after Lindsay’s heart was broken). He is studying something that is immediately practical (we do not know if he goes onto graduate school, but my headcanon is that he does not - he would have gotten his masters degree in marketing or business and those are expensive and, again, he doesn’t seem to have student loans). I believe he studies marketing, but though general coursework, his own intelligence and curiosity, he learns enough about the arts and other areas of study to be able to pass in upper class worlds and not betray his working class roots. And to appreciate Justin’s talent. Of course.
Post College/Adulthood
He is hired by Ryder Advertising and quickly moves up the ranks. He purchases his own home (the loft) and decorates it with only the fanciest furniture and appliances. He wears designer clothes. He wants to fit in and belong to this world that is so different than where he came from.
My guess is that by the time he’s working at Ryder, he has fully become the man, the myth, the legend we meet in the pilot.
No apologies - he learned that early on from Jack, apologies are meaningless.
No regrets - life as a gay man may be difficult, but he is not going shy away from experiences just because it might make his life harder. His life has already been hard on someone else’s terms. If it’s going to be hard again, it may as well be on his own terms.
Actions matter more than words, unless those words are from someone he believes cares about him in which case, if they are negative, they are true.
Protect others, even to the detriment of yourself. People want you for what you can do for them (protect them from bullies, make them feel special for one night) not for who you are.
Brian has no model of nonmonogamy that isn’t monogamy with cheating. He cannot conceive, until Justin comes along, that he can have a primary partner and also have an open relationship.
Being a “Stud” is another status symbol, like the loft, like the Jeep, like his wardrobe.
Everything is a wall built from his childhood to protect himself from the pain he experienced and to protect others from what he believes is his destiny - to hurt others the way his father hurt his mother and him. Walls don’t just keep out others, they protect others from the (imagined) monster within.
There is a good fic on Midnight Whispers that goes into this quite a bit: Why Not with Me
#dear sweet anon#ask winderlylandchime#queer as folk#qaf meta#brian kinney#the stud of liberty avenue#no apologies no regrets#the man the myth the legend#brian kinney’s origin story#(is this meta?)
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I've really enjoyed your recent meta takes and was wondering if you could elaborate on your thoughts on Mandy + Ian and her going for Lip as a result (from your Ian Relationships meta)? I love reading about M+I and their connection is just so dear to me 😭
(P.S Thank you for being such a beacon of positivity in the Shameless fandom! I only got into the show during lockdown last year but it's become such a comfort so it makes me so happy to see positivity right now. ❤ )
Oh my gosh, thank you so much! You’re seriously too kind! I totally sympathize with you: Shameless has shot straight to the top of my list of comfort media since watching it right around the same time, so I’m really passionate about sharing the love around. 😃🧡
To me, one of the most important things to look at in this analysis is motives—who each of these characters are, what they desire for themselves, and how those factors fit together like a puzzle.
Mandy is in such a difficult position. It’s not as easy as saying that she’s a victim of abuse and wants nothing more than to get as far from her family as possible, because that’s simply not true. In s1, we see that she’s very comfortable in her house. She and Mickey exhibit your standard sibling animosity (and competition for Ian’s attention, unbeknownst to her), she makes breakfast for Terry even though she’s obviously not super respectful to him as a parent, and she clearly has a solid understanding of where her family stands in the neighborhood. In a way, she thrives on that in the beginning. At but a word, she can do serious damage to somebody without raising a finger herself. Viewing Ian’s lack of response to her advances as an insult, she takes full advantage of that. In s2, we know that she is being abused in such a heinous way. She takes charge of the situation, although not in a manner that would save her from it. She leaves the house for a while to avoid Terry; she holds him at gunpoint and forces him to accept what he already knows so that he won’t hurt Ian. When they talk afterward, she even recounts what happened in a way that makes it sound like no big deal—he was drunk, and he didn’t know who she was, so it’s whatever. (It isn’t. We know it isn’t. If this is going to be her reality, however, then she’s going to own it. No one will look down on her, especially not a Gallagher who’s barely ahead of her in social standing.)
We’ll pause there because so much of how Mandy changed afterward is tied to Lip, but we can already see that Mandy isn’t like Mickey. Mickey stuck it out with his family and very clearly fell into the same trap we’ve heard verbalized by other male characters, namely the notion that men can’t be abused. It doesn’t matter that that is entirely inaccurate—that’s what they’ve been taught in their environment. That’s what’s normal to them. (That’s part of the dramatic irony in this scenario: we can see how damaging and traumatic these events are, but the characters don’t have our perspective. I don’t think Mickey sees what happened to him as rape, just like Ian doesn’t see what happened to him as grooming or assault. That’s for the audience to comprehend in terms of gravity and should add to our sympathy for them.)
Mandy is different. Women are abused all the time in their neighborhood. It’s visible, and it’s pervasive. In s3, Mandy immediately teaches Debbie how to defend herself against it. She didn’t have to learn. Like not seeing themselves as victims is part of the boys’ culture, fighting not to be one is part of the girls’. But there’s a contradiction in her life: the Milkoviches are the neighborhood badasses, and while she shares in that, it’s limited by her sex. There is something she will never be able to overcome in order to see the same return on her reputation that Mickey and Terry do, not unless she gets out, which will be extremely difficult on her own merits. She’s living in poverty and not doing well in school. Her prospects are limited—she told the counselor so. Based on that conversation and her history with boys even before meeting Ian, she clearly sees one surefire avenue to get out of this hole she’s stuck in: a man with the resources to get out and take her with him. If she’s lucky, it’ll even be a good man with a good heart who wants to do good in the world.
Now, let’s talk about Ian. (See what I did there?) This doesn’t need to be long because I’ve already talked so much about Ian already lately, but let’s wax poetic just a bit. Ian wants to be a good person. He wants to be able to get by, even be successful, without having to do it through scamming and stealing. He has goals and ambitions, and whatever anybody thinks of those ambitions, he did it with the mindset that he would be a hero—a protector. Along with that, he never gives up. When Mandy sets her brothers on him, he doesn’t hide forever—he seeks her out multiple times to fix the situation. When he can’t get into West Point, he doesn’t quit ROTC and ignore his dreams. He keeps going.
Not only is he someone who wants to be good for himself, but he wants to be good for others too. He shows Mandy kindness that she arguably hasn’t seen from anyone else before. He takes care of his family when hers tends to focus on themselves and their own individual survival more of the time. Ian has what she would have seen as the potential to get out, and at the time, that is what he wants. It isn’t as an escape for him, but as a way to facilitate his own dreams.
The problem? Ian is gay. We can see that that bothers her sometimes because she forgets. She goes in for a kiss in s2 and has to reel back, settling for a hug instead. She gets tired of hearing him talk about Kash in s1 and kisses him to shut him up, saying she just wanted to kiss her fake boyfriend. Ian isn’t attainable. If Ian leaves, he won’t take her with him as a partner, and she can’t ask as a friend. How desperate would that seem to someone who refuses to be put in a position where she even slightly perceives him to be pitying her? She can’t ask. Not Ian. She needs someone else, someone who is also good and capable of getting out of here—who can be convinced to even if they don’t want to. Someone she can also trust and has some sort of connection with. Someone who is a fixer, and someone she can draw in with the only thing she thinks she has of any value: her body.
That would be Lip. Not only does he meet all of those criteria at the time, but she knows she can trust him. She trusts Ian, and Ian is closer to Lip than he is to anyone else��even her. No, Lip doesn’t have any convictions or real desire to leave, but he has potential. She can work with that. She’s also there for the entire Karen saga, so she knows that Lip is someone who takes his responsibilities to the people he’s with very seriously and tries so hard to cultivate that connection. (For example, feeding him, making herself sexually available as often as possible, letting him stay with her when he can’t go anywhere else without any conditions, etc. We even begin to see her distancing herself from Ian a little bit by s3, putting all of her energy into what she has with Lip when, a year ago, they were sneaking around because she said she didn’t want Ian to know about them. That isn’t to say that Ian was seeking her out either, being quite distracted with Mickey, but it’s noticeable for me.)
Like Mickey, Mandy also has a very deep capacity for emotion and affection that seems incongruous with her personality a lot of the time. Also like Mickey, nobody brought that out in her—it was always there. As much as she seemed to hope that Lip would take care of her, the process of growing closer to him led to a level of affection. I don’t particularly read their relationship as being a deep one. Both of them were using the other, to an extent, to deal with their trauma in other areas of their lives. But that sort of thing can foster a kinship, a mutual understanding that transcends time and place and even the terrible stuff that people do to one another.
So, it doesn’t work out. Mandy is hurt and does something unforgivable. She then runs from Lip, straight into what she feels is her only alternative now: an abuser. What else is there for a girl in her position? Ian was unattainable because of his sexuality, but to someone beaten down again and again, perhaps she believed he was also unattainable because he was too good a person. Lip was unattainable despite her best efforts to bridge that gap because of what he had with Karen, but to someone beaten down again and again, perhaps she believed he was also unattainable because her position in his life was to give but never to take. With Kenyatta, all she does is give. She’s embraced being beaten down because what else is there? She leaves with him, believing there’s nothing for her there.
When she finally finds her strength, far from home but hopefully under better circumstances than when she lived in Chicago, she still follows the formula that has ruled her decision-making for some time: finding a place where she can have the control over her life that was never there before, but still with the belief that what she has to offer isn’t academic or able to be built or improved upon. Ian has worked past his perception that his body was what he had to offer, that it was what would provide him with the love he was looking for. But of course, he has. He’s had Mickey to love him when he’s healthy and love him when he’s lost a bunch of weight from a depressive episode spent in bed. He’s had his family to mess up here and there but ultimately love him so much.
Mandy doesn’t have that. She didn’t then either. She got what she wanted—she got out. She even implied that that was the most important thing by telling Ian that being born on the South Side doesn’t mean that’s where they have to stay. But Ian “got out” of the spiral of abuse he unknowingly suffered and the mindset that it fostered while Mandy didn’t. This isn’t to say anything negative about sex work, of course, only the mindset that led Mandy to this point in her life. And when she leaves the house for the last time, she looks at Lip after having asked about him, and they acknowledge each other the way that people who once knew each other do.
I’ve made the joke before that to Milkoviches, Gallaghers are like catnip. It’s flippant and funny enough when we consider how many of them have dated at one point or other. I’ve also said the Milkoviches are designed as a foil to the Gallaghers, a juxtaposed image of what they could have been had their situation been altered slightly. In s10, Mickey mentions how the Gallaghers are messed up and he’s never been happier to be a Milkovich, so there’s some awareness there that these are the two notorious families of the neighborhood, albeit for different reasons. For Mandy to see that not one, but two Gallaghers are out of reach? To perhaps feel as though she’s less than even them, or made to feel that way in her interactions with Lip? It’s the ultimate slap in the face.
She trusts Ian more than anyone else in her life, to the point where she will still call him to help her hide a body long after she’s left him and their home behind. But trusting Ian led her to loving Ian, and she couldn’t have him. Trusting Ian led her to meeting Lip, and if Ian was so good and loved Lip so much, he had to be worth it too. And to her, he was. The problem was that she felt that she wasn’t.
Self-fulfilling prophecies suck: when you’re treated like garbage by a neighborhood that sees your family as garbage and repeatedly experience things that will make you feel like garbage around people with the best intentions, you’ll start believing that you are, in fact, garbage. I think what we’ve watched with Mandy is a steady decline from a place of strength in herself and weakness in her environment to an overall place of weakness that she couldn’t escape. Not with Ian and, when she realized that wouldn’t happen, not with the only real alternative she thought she could trust since she trusted Ian so deeply.
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40, Hot Space OT4 angst
40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).
oh man, you realize the alternative ending would be them not getting back together, right? like, roger would either a) never be able to trust them again b) not want to trust them again or c) die.
but basically what would happen is roger would throw himself into the cross, and queen would end up dying. it’s freddie’s decision, he just can’t handle seeing roger suffer through dealing with seeing john and continuing to drink himself halfway to death. so queen ends, and roger starts the cross, which becomes stupidly famous. probably helps that freddie and roger make lots of songs together.
(freddie watches from across the studio as john approaches roger, his hands twisting as he tells him that “daisy’s been saying that she really misses him, and well, it would be good for her if you came over for dinner this weekend.” and freddie is just so fucking tired of watching roger’s kids get dangled in his face and taken away from him while he has to drive him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped. so he announces at the end of practice that he’s done, queen, is dead, and he’s going on his own way. because he’d kill queen, he’d give up everything, if it would save roger. he loves roger more than he loves himself, the money, the fame.)
after one of the cross’ shows, freddie introduces roger to debbie leng, and she’s like, instantly into him. roger, however, is still nursing a broken heart and trying to keep his family semi normal, so he’s more hesitant to get on board with her. but after a while, he’s not seeing john as much, the wound isn’t as deep (still deep, still needs stitches, but he’s no longer working his way through a bottle of gin every night). so he agrees to go on one date with her, just to grab a coffee. one date turns into another, which turns into another, and another, and before they know it they’re dating.
meanwhile, back at the big house, john and ronnie and dom are slowly realizing that they can’t actually fix things, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. they start to kinda close the wounds together, filling the hole that roger left behind, and slowly, things start getting better. it’s easier to see roger, and easier to communicate. they don’t withhold the kids, they start doing one week on and one week off, and they settle on a custody agreement.
about a year post the end of queen, vera, their second child and roger’s biological daughter with ronnie, accidentally lets it slip that “daddy has a girlfriend her name is debbie and she’s really cool”.
(roger kept debbie separate and quiet for as long as he could, but one morning he woke up and realized he was going to miss debbie for the week, and that he knew vera would really like her. so he introduces her as his good friend-- which robbie and vera see right through-- and by the end of the week, they realize, oh shit, debbie’s here to stay)
it sends shockwaves through the family; dom, who has always been holding onto the hope that they can fix things, ends up having a breakdown; ronnie is like cool cool cooolcoolcoolcoolcoool; and john starts drinking again. it’s rough, really, and they don’t handle it as well as they can.
meanwhile, roger has finally introduced debbie to his hoard of children and explains that they are all his, and he had three partners and when things ended it nearly killed him. debbie holds him close and promises that she’s not going anywhere, and she’s always thought that bali was overrated anyways.
and it sucks, really, it sucks, because suddenly roger and debbie aren’t hiding their relationship, and the paps are just going crazy taking pictures of them and accusing roger of cheating on poor dominique, leaving her alone with their three kids (daisy, HA#1, and kitty) while veronica and john have to hold down the fort with the rest of their kids (robbie, vera, HA #2). and roger is getting vilified in the papers, but he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want them to a) be outed or b) hurt their kids further. plus, he still loves them. so he just kinda brushes it off and keeps working on the cross.
debbie, meanwhile, loves roger’s kids, really, she loves them so much. and it’s hard, because the kids now have a third “mother” in their lives, and some of them (daisy, robbie) are really rebelling against her while dom/ronnie/john are really hurt that vera in particular loves debbie. plus, no one wants to see their kids bonding with someone else, especially when it means that debbie is proof of their relationship being dead.
it takes them a while to find some solider ground, and then debbie gets pregnant. now, the last time roger was going to be a dad, things fell apart before his eyes, so he’s really kinda shaken at the idea of losing another kid. and debbie grabs him by the hand and is like listen to me: i’m not going anywhere. you are the father of my baby and the love of my life and when i say i’m sticking around, i mean it. so they decide to get married in a small little courthouse ceremony with freddie and jim and crystal as witnesses. they keep it small and private, and they tell the kids later when its their turn.
this time, its robbie who announces that “daddy’s married debbie AND they’re gonna have another baby”. the impending breakdown is somehow worse as roger never wanted to get married before, and now he’s married debbie.
dom takes it extra hard, and it doesn’t help that she makes an offhand comment about it to jim, who, having staked his flag firmly for team roger, is like “oh that’s cuz he needed some stability, though i don’t know why, it’s not like debbie’s gonna leave in the middle of the night with their kid”. (they...don’t see much of jim and freddie for a while after that).
the kids are...okay with the new baby. like, not super happy? but not terribly upset. and when the baby comes, roger is like look kids! new sibling! and again, this whole time he’s never treated any of the kids like they weren’t his, even the ones who are obviously not his (robbie, for one) he still loves so much because he raised them, he loved them, he cherishes them. so obviously little rufus is their sibling, too.
(they were terrified that the new baby meant that they were getting left behind. robbie had always been told that dom and roger chose to love him, that the moment they knew he was theirs, whether not he actually was. so what if the new baby is proof that roger was gonna forget about his other kids and only love rufus??)
(stupid, really, roger loves all of his kids)
and there’s drama as well where robbie wants to live full time with roger, but john and ronnie have to awkwardly explain to him that legally, he can’t, he’s not roger’s kid, so he can’t. neither can vera, even though roger is her dad. the only ones who technically could are the ones dom gave birth to, even though john is half of their fathers. and its terrible, and it causes one of the biggest fights between the kids and the parents because they’ve been told all their lives that roger is their dad and now he’s not?? and robbie ends up running away to freddie’s and roger has to awkwardly pick him up and be like robbie, buddy, you’re my son. you’ve always been my son, and you always will, but the law is the law. and i want you to stay with me, but so do your papa and mummy. and so you have to stay with them, but you can call me every day and still come see me.
vera, too, wants to spend more time with debbie (she loves debbie, it causes a ton of friction because vera wants to be a model and debbie is helping her with that and dom and ronnie are like wtf does she have that we don’t) but she can’t either. and the kids are chafing under the custody agreement and it’s so. fucking. hard. (vera also doesn’t help by tag teaming the parents into thinking the other are okay with her and debbie going to london fashion week together, which sparks a terrible all out brawl between the five adults over custody and “real parents”).
eventually, they also realize daisy, who’s always hated debbie, is trying to parent trap her parents back together, and veronica and dom have to very gently tell her that, no, honey, they’re not going to get together, and it’s no one’s fault, it’s just what happens. there are lots of tears.
so everyone gets put in family therapy, and they start to talk about what happened, and how to move forward. and it helps! they all start to heal, and they realize that yeah, it sucks, and they’ll always love each other, but what happened can’t be changed, and they’ve all moved on.
the kids start calling debbie “mama deb” and they implement their own traditions and holidays, they buy a giant house out in the country where they get like three dogs and too many cats, and a cow because daisy was vegan for a hot second and felt bad for one, and HaHa love llamas so they get one (freddie’s terrified of it its great). and they spend holidays and birthdays as a family, and they slowly move past what happened.
debbie and roger have a few more kids, and dom/ronnie/john end up having another baby as well. and the whole time, they just stress the importance of family: the kids are well cared for, they love each other, and they’re moving forward.
and, when the kids grow up and get married, roger, debbie, john, veronica, and dominique are all up at the parent’s table smiling and laughing and celebrating the job well done that they did raising their brood of kids. dom/john/ronnie even come to roger and debbie’s kids weddings and graduations, and no one can ever deny how much they all love each other.
no, it’s not perfect, and there are issues, but they love each other and they love the kids and at the end of the day they can say that they’re friends and that what happened happened.
and, eventually, they all live happily ever after.
p.s. vera is the one who finally sets the record straight on how roger was in a long term relationship with her parents, no, no one cheated, yes, she loves debbie she’s her step mom and fuck no they’re not terrible parents even though they were in a polyamorous relationship that imploded. she’s sixteen and fierce and the second it happens, miami gets the urge to buy a costco-sized tub of alkaselters for his ulcer. (it’s name is vera). ratty also looses £250 to crystal because he bet that it would be Ha#2 that would spill the beans, not vera.
#ot4 hot space#john/ronnie/roger/dominiqe#debbie/roger#all my little ot4 kids#vera sweetie youre my favorite dont tell the others
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PHYSICAL !!
1. Describe the character’s height and build. Is she heavyset, thin, short, rangy? I’d say average. She’s 5′5. 2. How old is she? Sixteen. 3. Describe her posture. Does she carry herself well or does she slouch? She carries herself pretty well. 4. How is her health? Is she fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities? She’s in decent shape, no disabilities. 5. How does she move? Is she clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid? Pretty graceful and softly. 6. How attractive is this character physically? How does she perceive herself in the mirror? She’s very pretty, I think. She thinks of herself as average. 7. Describe her complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred? Light and clear. 8. Describe her hair: color, texture, style. Wavy. It falls a little past her waist, an orange-brown color. She considers herself a redhead even though her hair is more naturally brown. (Shh, don’t tell anyone.) It looks like this or this but a bit longer. 9. What color are her eyes? Amber. 10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features? A light dusting of freckles. 11. What are her chief tension centers? Her neck. 12. What is the character’s wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does she have six of the same suit? She dresses in a lot of warm colors. Pretty casual. She likes sweaters, boots, leggings, jeans best -- but in California she obviously doesn’t get to rock those much.***** 13. Do her clothes fit well? Does she seem comfortable in them? She likes slightly oversized shirts sometimes. But for the most part, yes. 14. Does she dress the same on the job as she does in her free time? If not, what are the differences? She has to wear her high school uniform but she wears what she wants to volunteer in or on a usual basis. 15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando? Briefs. Sometimes boxers.
SPEECH !!
1. What does this character’s voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse? A tiny bit raspy. Sweet but mature. Soft. I mostly hear Debby Ryan* with a bit of Fawn* in my mind. 2. How does she normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does she talk easily, or does she hesitate? Soft, evenly, easy. She gets to rambling excitedly sometimes and talks faster or louder. 3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics? None that I can think of. 4. What languages does she speak, and with how much fluency? English fluently. 5. Does she switch languages or dialects in certain situations? Nah. 6. Is she a good impromptu speaker, or does she have to think about her words? She is okay at impromptu. 7. Is she eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change? I’d say closer to eloquent. Less so when she’s feeling hyper/eager.
MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL !!
1. How intelligent is this character? Is she book-smart or street-smart? Fairly intelligent. A mixture of both. 2. Does she think on her feet, or does she need time to deliberate? She thinks on her feet. It gets her in trouble. 3. Describe the character’s thought process. Is she more logical, or more intuitive? Idealistic or practical? Intuitive but she can come up with some good ideas. It depends on the situation. 4. What kind of education has the character had? She’s a junior so that’s it as of now. 5. What are her areas of expertise? What, if anything, is she interested in learning more about? Anything that comes to animals. Especially pets or woodland creatures. She’s thinking about looking into veterinary practice. 6. Is she an introvert or an extrovert? Extrovert. 7. Describe the character’s temperament. Is she even-tempered or does she have mood swings? Cheerful or melancholy? Laid-back or driven? She is fairly even-tempered and usually happy. If she learns of an injustice, that’s a different story. Cheerful and driven. But also laid-back at the same time...? 8. How does she respond to new people or situations? Is she suspicious, relaxed, timid, enthusiastic? Enthusiastic. 10. Which is her default: fight or flight? She doesn’t back down. 11. Describe the character’s sense of humor. Does she appreciate jokes? Puns? Gallows humor? Bathroom humor? Pranks? Pranks, for sure, but she isn’t picky about what makes her laugh. She loves jokes. 12. Does the character have any diagnosable mental disorders? If yes, how does she deal with them? She doesn’t have any. 13. What moments in this character’s life have defined her as a person? I’m not sure that any specific moments have changed who she is. She’s always been a passionate, nurturing, rebellious person. 14. What does she fear? Not being able to make a difference. 15. What are her hopes or aspirations? To make a difference, and own as many pets as possible. 16. What is something she doesn’t want anyone to find out about her? Fawn is a pretty open book. She isn’t keeping any secrets.
RELATIONSHIPS !!
1. Describe this character’s relationship with her parents. Fawn has always had a good relationship with her parents. She’s been daddy’s little girl from day one, as a child she was almost always in his arms. She is a lot like her mother. Both of them love, support and accept her the way that parents should and they are proud of her for being someone that takes a stand. They are what she misses the most about home, other than her fur babies. She doesn’t blame them for sending her away, their hands were tied, she just hopes they know she loves them the same. 2. Does the character have any siblings? What is/was their relationship like? No, and she’s happy with her life how it is -- she’s the center of her parents’ worlds this way. But it might’ve been cool to have a brother or sister to torment with pranks and braid her hair for her. 3. Are there other blood relatives to whom she is close? Are there ones she can’t stand? She doesn’t see her mom’s family much. She has a lot of uncles, aunts and cousins on her dad’s side. They come around for holidays so just a few times throughout the year, but she loves all of them. 4. Are there other, unrelated people whom she considers part of her family? What are her relationships with them? The Pixie Hollow girls are her sisters. 5. Who is the character’s best friend? How did they meet? Tink, Vidia, Iridessa, (probably Rosetta) and Silvermist, obviously. Also Oliver is a pure bean that she adores. She met them all at Walt. 6. Does she have other close friends? Does ‘every animal she meets’ count? 7. Does she make friends easily, or does she have trouble getting along with people? She makes friends easily. 8. Which does she consider more important: family or friends? Both. 9. Is the character single, married, divorced, widowed? Has she been married more than once? She is single. The only boyfriend/husband she had was in elementary school when the kids paired off. 10. Is she currently in a romantic relationship with someone other than a spouse? She is not. 11. Who was her first crush? Who is her latest? She’s not crushing on anyone as of late, and I don’t think she’s had very many lasting crushes in her life. She might see a boy holding a puppy and think “wow he’s cute” but then she gets distracted by the puppy and forgets he’s there. 12. What does she look for in a romantic partner? An animal lover. It is very important that the person she’s with cares about having pets and lots of them. If not, it is not going to work. Sorry. Other than that she only wants to have feelings for the person and for them to be reciprocated. 13. Does the character have children? Grandchildren? If yes, how does she relate to them? If no, does she want any? She doesn’t, but she’d love to be a mom one day! 14. Does she have any rivals or enemies? Not anyone right now. 15. What is the character’s sexual orientation? Where does she fall on the Kinsey scale? She is most likely heterosexual. A zero or a one. She would never be against being with someone solely because of gender but she’s only ever been attracted to/crushed on males. 16. How does she feel about sex? How important is it to her? She isn’t ready for sex right now. She’s only sixteen and she has no love interest. It isn’t something she thinks about all that much. She will worry about it when she’s in a relationship -- a long term relationship -- and she feels safe and comfortable with someone and wants to take that next step. 17. What are her turn-ons? Turn-offs? Weird bedroom habits? Heck if she knows.
BELIEFS !!
1. Do you know your character’s astrological (zodiac of choice) sign? How well does she fit type? She’s an October baby, born on the third, so she’s a Libra. I think there are other signs that would fit her better. 2. Is this character religious, spiritual, both, or neither? How important are these elements in her life? She’s Christian. She used to go to church on Sundays and the occasional Wednesday back at home, but she was shushed a lot for talking during service and for awhile known as the girl that chased a rat throughout the pews. It’s important to her to believe there is a God and an afterlife but if she’s being honest, she’s never read the bible and she has no immediate plans to. 3. Does this character have a personal code of morals or ethics? If so, how did that begin? What would it take to compromise it? Help those that cannot help themself. Be kind. Live your own life. I don’t think anything could change those. 4. How does she regard beliefs that differ from hers? Is she tolerant, intolerant, curious, indifferent? As long as those beliefs aren’t hurting people, she’s tolerant and curious. 5. What prejudices does she hold? Are they irrational or does she have a good reason for them? She’s prejudice against people that do not like any kind of animal. How can someone not like animals?
DAILY LIFE !!
1. What is the character’s financial situation? Is she rich, poor, comfortable, in debt? Average. Her family gets by. 2. What is her social status? Has this changed over time, and if so, how has the change affected her? She’s not necessarily popular but she is friendly and outgoing. She has never had to worry about where to eat lunch or who to walk with in the halls, here or at her old school. 3. Where does she live? House, apartment, trailer? Is her home her castle or just a place to crash? What condition is it in? Does she share it with others? Her dorm, and she has decorated it in warm colors with photos of pets and family and she has those little lights strung around her bed and it’s all organized and cozy and cute. She loves it. I love it. The dorm of my dreams. 4. Besides the basic necessities, what does she spend her money on? Helping animals in need. 5. What does she do for a living? Is she good at it? Does she enjoy it, or would she rather be doing something else? She’s a student right now. She’s good at some classes, others not so much, but she does more than enough to get by. When she isn’t doodling cat faces all over her test pages. 6. What are her interests or hobbies? How does she spend her free time? She likes to volunteer at animal shelters. She enjoys reading and decorating, doodling. But for the most part if she’s got free time on her hands, she’s going to be outside climbing trees and talking to birds. 7. What are her eating habits? Does she skip meals, eat out, drink alcohol, avoid certain foods? I think she has average eating habits. She probably eats healthier than most teenagers, opting for fruit over candy bars on a normal basis and snacking on veggie straws over chips. She doesn’t drink alcohol. Most of her meals she either makes herself because they are simple or orders from town.
ASSOCIATIONS !!
1. Color? Orange. 2. Smell? Puppy breath. 3. Time of day? She’s a morning girl. 4. Season? Spring. But she’s partial to Fall too. 5. Book? Because Of Winn-Dixie. 6. Music? Alternative rock, indie pop, she isn’t picky. 7. Place? She’s a Georgia girl at heart. 8. Substance? Lemonade. 9. Plant? Sunflowers. 10. Animal? All of them.
EVERY * LEADS TO A PICTURE !!
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Debbie Down the Rabbit Hole in “Companion Land”
Our story starts in a far away land known only to the lucky few that have found their life partner as “Relationship Land.” Debbie grew further and further from her partner here in “Relationship Land” so she ventured out to find a new world. Others have talked about it, but she herself knew nothing about it. When people would speak of this new land some would share beautiful stories and adventures and others would tell stories of soul ripping, gut wrenching pain. Regardless she longed to find out for herself what might find her when she arrived.
Debbie is an adventure seeking, curious, independent, loving and hard working woman. She loves a good challenge and nearly detests anything that is just given to her as she has worked hard in her life for everything she has. She forgives easily and almost certainly gives way to many chances to those that didn't even deserve a first chance. She is kind, funny and has qualities most men find very attractive. Any man finding this woman is quite aware they are fortunate to have had her or have her in his life. Debbie does however come with some negatives as well. She needs and wants confirmation on a regular basis, she's very aware that this is a insecurity within herself. She just requires it. She is attention seeking, and often times looked at by the same sex (prior to getting to know her of course) as something outside of who she actually is. Debbie turns her nose up to any kind of help from the outside, unless she is asking for it (which isn't often). She has massive trust issues some would need a ladder to get over the gigantic wall she has seemingly built around her heart. Also you must get past the gnome named “jiffy” who will undoubtedly have a few riddles a song and dance for you to preform prior to having access to her heart. Needless to say you will have to put forth some effort to get this girl. Many have tried and very few have successfully succeeded or will succeed.
Our newfound adventure starts when leaving the world of “Relationship Land” and finally getting out on her own. While walking down the steep narrow red brick road path she finds an off beaten, and tattered dirt road trail she finds curiously familiar, but different. While walking down this beaten path she is greeted by a White Rabbit for fun we will call him “Roger.” He greets her with a smile but is on a time crunch and has to run. Typically Roger the “White Rabbit” is always a little too busy, and usually blind to the needs of Debbie. Roger is the type that when a woman walks away from them or I guess more so when he runs from her, she finds herself still yearning for more. Still feeling drawn to him. This is the guy, the girl will write massive texts to begging for some form of an answer as to why she wasn't good enough, why he never gave her more time. However the most basic answer ladies I can tell you about this type, is you in his mind, were never his, and he was never yours. He never took you seriously. He never saw himself being long term with you. So while drawing you in, keeping you guessing and making you feel more curious about him. He is not thinking of you at all. In fact you are just a mere side bitch in his world currently. I’m sorry, but I'm not sorry. You will forever be stuck in this zone with him because you are saying it’s ok by allowing it to continue.
Debbie goes on to feel his distance, but unfortunately for her is still curious and still feeling that magnetic pull to him. So Debbie proceeds to push him away further and by now he is running, sprinting and hurdling to get away from you. While doing so Debbie sees Roger jump into a very dark, deep hole. All of a sudden he disappears, he's gone. She looks inside the hole and just as she is peeking her head inside she loses her footing and falls in.
Deeper and Deeper she falls, feeling dizzy and near vomiting at the sheer terror she is sure to be facing. Completely unaware of what will become of her at the bottom of this hole. She finally comes to a stop, and is safe but a little damaged from the fall. She picks herself up, reads the sign and realizes she's exactly where she wanted and chose to be. This beautiful but dark land has a large green sign at the entrance that states “Welcome to Companion Land, where we don't promise that any of your dreams will ever come true. Population:124.6 million.” (Of course thats a real number of how many single people there are in America alone. ) So the adventure begins as she proceeds to take her very first steps into companion land. Nervous, scared, bruised, but excited as she begins her journey.
While walking she is talking to herself, she looks like a crazy person to people who could be passing or watching her from afar, but to her she is processing. Processing that pain that is left within her heart. Just as she is finishing up her therapy session with herself she is taken aback when a caterpillar larger than the other ones approaches her. “This shit is starting to get weird” she thinks to herself. Were off to a smashing start, one so good that would only be best compared to the shit show that would be two hulk sized men combined, most certainly high on ketamine. Either way it was what it was and Debbie needed to face this one head on as well.
“Whooooo are you?” He asks in a very condescending manner. Debbie responds “I hardly even know anymore sir, because I’ve changed so many times just this morning and I know I am not the person I was before.” She goes on to tell him a little of her adventure thus far and the tale of Roger, whom is so far off in the distance now that she is merely calling him a tale and not her current present situational hurt. The caterpillar or for the pure excitement of this story we’ll call him “Caleb” goes on to share his side of things as well. Except when he explains his situation he is defensive and already waiting for her to judge him for who he once was. Caleb doesn’t even realize she comes from a place of pain as well and is far from judging him for his past trials and tribulations.
Caleb is quick witted, has a sharp tongue that gets used in terrible ways at times, he is better than most everyone at anything he puts his mind to, and he financially does very well for himself. He is smart to a point where he is awkwardly suave with women. He flashes tales of how he spends his earnings and how he makes his earnings turning only the shallow, fleeting women onto him. A girl of substance is not impressed by this. She finds him impressive for the other things he possesses. Also his tale of his trails in “Companion Land” Debbie finds equally appealing and intriguing. She yearns to learn more about him. He lets her in for a mere second only to take it back from her as quickly as it was given. Caleb is a guarded man. He is not a bad man for being so guarded, he just might have a much larger wall built around his heart including, but not limited to the leprechaun that guards his heart that will make you leap over a rainbow and guess the a number between one and a million unfortunately Debbie didn't see all that until it was much too late. Realizing this journey will not be complete here, she decides to press forward. Again, still a little damaged, however this time a bit more understanding.
She continues her trails on the off beaten path, still talking to herself. Finding herself more curious where the road is to end, and what will be there when she completes it. The hurt was surface level only this time, as she didn't quite let the walls down completely with Caleb. The thing with guarded people is the only true thing they face when being rejected in such a way after not fully letting their wall down is a broken ego. Which fortunately for her is a lot easier to get over than a broken heart. So she moves on, this time feeling hopeful and ready to meet someone new.
Alice is a wanderer, she wanders with no care in the world and begins to space out entirely. When walking she is surprised when an image appears in the clouds. The clouds start to come down in a fog like motion, this time it feels dangerous and scary, but exciting. She is enjoying herself far too much for what is actually happening. Finally out of the fog, comes what looks to be a cat. A Cheshire Cat. One that looks alarmingly familiar to that of a Disney movie character. However this one has a name. “Hi I saw you from afar and thought it would be a good time to introduce myself, I’m Chester.” She was so thrilled to be meeting someone so new, and he seemed so exciting she goes on to give away her position of excitement far too quickly. “Hey Chester, I’m so happy to meet you, you have no idea. I have just been walking this path wondering if I’d meet anyone else. I have to say I’m glad its you.” Chester backs up a little bit just to give her a non-verbal warning sign to take it down a notch, however sadly for him she has not taken notice and she takes another step further into his personal bubble. This dance she is playing with him is dangerous as he is one that will spook very easy. His history actually suggests not to ever get too close as he fades away a lot.
Chester is unpredictable, cunning, mysterious, sneaky and typically a bit of a comical relief which is why people get hooked to his personality. You will never see Chester when you’d like to see him. You will only see him when he feels he would like to utilize his time to see you. You often times are lost in thought when speaking to him but only because you consistently on a regular basis wondering what could possibly be on his mind today. He refuses to tell you his day to day and the way he comes in and out of your life is downright intolerable. However Debbie is weak and allows this behavior to continue because she is lonely. She has not found herself yet in this newfound land and is seeking that self inside of the men she has met thus far. She is sad but puts on a face for Chester each time in her journey he has come to see her. She doesn't want to lead on that he has disappointed her. Instead she tends to give him more of herself to the point of being completely emotionally drained. To which in turn he uses this newfound attachment against her and finds a way to use her for his own personal punching bag. With each blow she grows weaker and weaker. Her ego is completely tossed away at this point as she is begging for an inch of her old life back.
She asks why and how is a man capable of making a someone feel so terrible about themselves. (fully knowing it is more than likely a fault that could only be found within herself) He goes on to tell her its only because “she is mad and everyone in this world is mad”.. Debbie frantically replies “But, Chester I don't want to get myself back out there among mad people.” “Oh but you can't help that Debbie, were all mad, you're mad, I'm mad, everyone.” Chester replies. “How could you possibly know I'm mad” Debbie defensively remarks “You must be” said Chester “or you wouldn't have come here.” See Relationship land was comfortable, inviting, familiar. This land was so far full of ache, and pain mixed with a few good times that were less memorable. She was near ready to go back, but she knew at this point she was too deep to turn back now. Chester is gone again, which was no surprise. Debbie knew he would be and eventually he would fade away for good. But for now, while still weak she would patiently wait for his return until she got strong enough to say no more. She is still waiting on this moment. Thankfully before leaving again the last time Chester pointed Debbie to a direction that seemed to be a little less rocky and a provide a much smoother path much more meant for walking on.
Along this path is when she sees the sun start to shine down on her and for the first time in a very long time and for the first time on this journey she is feeling the warmth that is the sun. She is smiling again and feeling whole. Along this cheery disposition that is her new life she begins to think about Chester again. Wondering what he's up to, and when he will reappear again. Its in this moment while lost in thought and stuck inside her head daydreaming she runs right into two men who are oddly standing in the dead center of the road in her direct path. She stops as she is not able to get past them and is confused. She looks at them with big doe eyes and begins to glare at them. She loudly wails “excuse me!” They both continue to stare blankly at her blinded by her beauty. Almost as if they have never seen a girl so captivating, intriguing and when she talked they could tell she was educated and a true diamond in the rough. Both men were eager to know her.
This is your Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum however again for the stories sake they introduced themselves as “Tad and Tim.” “Oh hi”, she awkwardly replied “I am Debbie, however I am walking this long journey and I have plans so I must be going now.” She proceeds to walk the path as they follow her. “Listen boys, I am not really looking for anyone right now to walk this journey with me so I’m going to continue on. Its nothing against you I just have people to meet.” They appear hurt and withdrawn, but still waiting and watching her every move. Tim asks Debbie “but why can't we join that journey and maybe even walk a little together?” Debbie is taken back, this is the first man who has actually pursued her, wanted her love, longed to be around her instead of the other way around. They were content with just her. It was an insane thought but she thought just maybe this could be my end game, the end of my long journey. Still feeling from the loss of Chester in her life and his absence becoming longer and longer she said to herself “what the hell, how do you know unless you try?”
She decides to walk this smooth more frequently traveled path with Tim and even Tad. See, these men are the road most traveled because they are your man who tries to fricken hard. They are the guy you are not challenged enough by. See some will settle for this man because he is easy, willing to bend in ways most men shouldn't and he is sweet. However this kind of girl just sees him as boring. Her life, and world is treated as an adventure. How could she possibly settle for an easy road kind of guy? She needs a man who banters with her, makes her work for it (not in a mean, vicious way) in a way that teaches her he is a prize to be won as well. She finds Tim and Tad annoying the more he puts himself in her path, blocking her way rather than walking beside her as he promised he would initially. He longs to lock her down, and quickly because he sees her for the prize she is. However she's not looking for this type and she can already see things in him that will not work long term. She knows she has to move on despite the kind, honest and caring men they are. Again this is a fault she sees and accepts within herself and someday the man along her journey is going to find her, and be all of these things she just hasn't found yet. She explains these things to Tim and Tad and walks away with her head hung low knowing she broke his heart but her heart did not belong to him.
Our less than faithful, comical favorite Cheshire Cat, Chester has yet to reappear back into our lives, so while that hope has been dashed Debbie continues her journey. There is no other way to go now, except forward and we've gone far too far to go back. So continue on, we must go. Just as all hope was lost, and most of all her ego is gone she spots a white tale. Her heart sinks to the floor and she forces herself through the rosed thorny bush to see beyond the tall grass where she spotted the tale. She is filled with an ample amount of emotions as she watches him still off in the distance eating what looks to be a carrot. She approaches, this time slowly. She doesn’t want to spook him as she did before. He spots her just as she is approaching him. He goes to make a run for it but at this point she is far to close and near facing him. It would not only be awkward to walk away but also there wasn't very many places he could run. He was now facing her head on. The only words she could leak from her mouth were questions of why. She knew she was coming on strong but she had no better way to approach the pain that filled her with so much doubt to her decision to even come to this land. After all this whole thing started chasing him into the mysterious black hole. She said “Roger, I saw my future beginning and ending with you, Why?” “Debbie” Roger exclaimed with his head hung lower than normal “I have no words as to why, just you weren't right for me and while you weren't right for me you will find your happily ever after, I am sorry.” While she knew it was the end of this happily ever after she felt closure. It was enough for her to continue on, leaving him behind not looking back to even see if he watched her walk away. She didn’t care. He didn't hold her future. He wouldn't be the ticket back to “Relationship land” and she made peace with that.
She walks away ego bruised but still upright and proud from the last and final interaction with the man that made her chase him through “Companionship Land.”
While walking still talking and reminiscing on her previous adventures she is dropped to her knees again and quickly when seeing a beautiful, hilarious, whimsical but oddly perplexing kind of man. He intrigues her, and draws her in with his sheer beauty, the way. he moves, when he laughs how his whole face crinkles. She smiles at the mere vision of his laughter. He looks damaged, but beautifully damaged. Not the kind of guy who needs saving, just the kind that might need a friend. He clearly has a crowd around him as he always does, but she knows she has to make her way to the center of that crowd if she wants him to notice her. She at first blends herself in, but keeps herself in straight line of view. She wants to be noticed, not seem desperate. She continues to draw herself in closer and closer to him. She goes in so close she now blends in with the crowd and begins to create friendships. He notices her laughing with a friend and feels curious about her as he is drawn to her as well. He gets closer to her but not enough to actually have to talk to her, but enough for her to realize he has now noticed her as well.
This man is non other than your classic “Mad Hatter.” However in this case his name is Mark. Mark is everything as earlier described. In fact he is probably everything her dream man could possibly be and look like. He offers just enough challenge to keep her entertained, enough love to fulfill her every need and he is just as funny if not more funny than her. He's amazing in every way, but thats only scratching the surface of Mark. Mark approaches Debbie with a smile and continues to wow her with his charm, wit and pure entertainer status that mirrors hers completely. They start this journey knowing each other are capable of fulfilling the other however as we know no life is a fairy tale and this is no exception to that rule.
Scratching only the surface of this man who enjoys celebrating very merry unbirthdays and classically going out of his mind on occasion he fits in perfectly into companion land. I’m not sure he is ready for Relationship land so they decide to walk a little slower. Debbie is feeling emotionally attached at this point to this man. She had no idea once again the heartbreak that might be finding her at the end of this tunnel. See Mark moves at a much slower pace, however she is in love and could care less about his pace, even though its been best compared to that of a slug. Women are unbelievable when it comes to being ok with things we’d never be ok with if we didn't have the emotional attachment. Sadly we get emotionally attached before fully knowing all the things there are to know about this human, most because your heart is eager and your mind is a thinker. I say this because there are things that are unknown about the lovable Mad Hatter Mark. He is a bad boy. The absolute worst kind even, because someday when you call him out and when you tell this tale of this relationship no one will believe he is capable of the things you underwent.
Unfortunately due to your attachment you will undergo an unnecessary amount of verbal and possible physical abuse prior to getting yourself out of this situation. He uses drugs, usually uppers like Cocaine and Meth, sometimes appears positively mad. Some looking at the dysfunction might even say he is an undiagnosed man with bi-polar disorder. So because Debbie found this out after her heart decided to foolishly jump in with both feet she's attached. Despite her mind screaming at her “get the fuck out bitch!” Unfortunately the heart wins these battles far more often because a broken heart feels much worse than a foolish mind. Debbie spent many lonely sad days trying to make sense of him and often times told him he was positively mad to which he would always reply. “Yes Debbie, I’ve gone mad, completely bonkers..but let me let you in on a secret, all the best people are!” He tried to bring her down multiple times to the level he felt so comfortable on. It made him uncomfortable to have a woman that openly did not approve his actions he longed for approval for the things they both knew he would never receive from a pearl like Alice. This road they were walking took a major halt and with two roads in front of them they knew they had to choose. Walk this road together, or go separate ways. They both decided they would go separate ways, both broken and hurting and foolishly hearing and feeling the pain that is a heart breaking.
So here we are at the end of the journey. There is still so much walking to be done for Debbie because her journey is far from over in Companion land however this is just one of the many problems in this world. There are many times in the time of making my stories I have asked men and women to tell me their greatest love story. The realness of the situation is every time these people have gone on to tell me this beautiful story filled with so much emotion and passion until they get to the end where they almost always end with the split road decision. Leaving them choosing the separate paths that might someday lead back to one another but most of the time it ends grim and were left with another heart break under our belts. Just remember when walking your path in Companion land... Your brain has no heart. You heart has no brain. So when you speak and make decisions with your mind you’ll seem heartless. When you speak and make decisions with your heart you’ll seem thoughtless. They don't work together and often times choosing one to trust is where and how you get yourself out of the land of pain and beauty.
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I’d love to say I always wanted to be in digital marketing but that wasn’t the case. You cannot connect the dots looking forward so I will try to succinctly take you back to the start to explain how I fell into this space. I'm actually an electrician by trade. I left school in year 10 and went straight into an electrical apprenticeship. From there I went to night school to study electro-technology and that gave me the ability to get off the tools and design electrical schematics for a company called Hatch who had the contract for Alcoa Alumina mine site.At about the two year mark, my boss at the time said I was good for a giggle and should apply for a popular reality TV show called Big Brother. He even gave me the time off work to go to the auditions.At the time I was reading a lot of books about manifestation/visualization so after my first audition I went shopping for the outfit I was going to wear on opening night. (I had 4 auditions still to get through).By the third audition, I took two weeks off work to go down south surfing and snorkeling. As I told my folks “you don’t get it, I need to get my head right for the big event.” They thought I had gone mental.Long story short I probably was a little mental but I got the call from the producers. I made the cut. I was one of 12 (out of 300K) to be on the show.I look back now, and laugh at my 23 year old self. Here is a brief clip from my experience:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5k5VD_3DE&t=51sAfter the show, my life dramatically changed. I spent the next few months travelling around Australia doing appearances (mostly in nightclubs), using my Myspace page (which went from 150 people to nearly 15,000) to promote the events. Looking back this was probably my first experience with digital marketing.I remember travelling from venue to venue with a little notepad and journalling what i liked about each respective venue and what made them different, unique and successful.After a ton of market research I settled in Melbourne and started an events and promotions company called Secret Society with friend Nic Davidson which looked after boutique hospitality venues and events. This was right around the time Facebook was just starting to get traction and we were leveraging this alongside Myspace, Youtube etc to fill our venues with human traffic.I met my wife Jodie in Melbourne and soon after convinced her to move to the Kimberley in the Northwest of Australia (small town called Broome) where I took a job as the marketing director for Matso's Broome brewery it's a beer company and a group of accommodation properties.Long story short I learned my skills through necessity being in roles I was under qualified to do and through isolation being in one of the remotest parts of the planet.I realised early on that a lot of businesses were spending money on marketing with no real measure of success and I wanted to provide them more transparency and data on what was or was not working towards driving revenue and sales.I started Dilate in 2012 after helping a friend who was working as an automotive salesman to build a website to generate leads. After generating more leads for the salesman than the dealership was generating for themselves the Dealer Principal called us in for a meeting. My friend got a promotion and I got my first client.When they asked me what my fee was, I tallied up the bare minimum I needed to survive at the time and set my first retainer. The dealership was a part of a bigger dealer network. I started getting referrals and grew organically from there.I started the business from a home theatre room and bootstrapped everything so there was literally no start-up costs. Lucky because I think at that point I only had a few grand in the bank saved from my time in Kimberley.From there, things grew quite organically hiring my first staff member in 2014 leveraging my relationship with Murdoch University I was able to reach out to the head of the multimedia department and asked them to keep their eye out for a talented web developer. That was my first experience giving part of my role to someone else and I learnt some valuable delegating lessons in those first few years, I am still learning in this area.Dilate has now grown to 50 + staff worldwide and prides itself on having some of the best talent in the digital marketing space.I have now delegated most functions of the agency and the main role I play in is business development. I’m basically in charge of all inbound inquiry. My job is to ensure the perfect fit for both Dilate and our clients.Who is your target demographic?Our target demographic falls into two categories that we have named:Brian/Barbara the business owner who owns a business between $500k - $10 million and has 1-50 staff.Danny/Debbie the decision-maker who is the Marketing Manager, General Manager or CEO of a company with more than 10 staff and revenue between $2 - $20 million.Without our clients we don't have a business. I truly believe that whether you are pumping gas, working a check-out or building world-class marketing campaigns there is no higher purpose than being in the service of others.Our team works to a core set of values and we collectively try and live those values on a daily basis.The most important ones relating to our clients/partners are:Transparency - making sure the client understands the work our team is doing. I don't sell. I educate. I teach our customers and allow them to ask me for services because they understand the value it will bring.Also if we make a mistake (which does occasionally happen in our space) we have to be Accountable and transparent about what happened, this is how trust is formed.Also Empathy plays a big part in what we do. Understanding that our services aren’t right for every business and being empathetic to better understand the various problems owners are facing. Both internal and economic.How do you attract clients?The number 1 way we attract clients is by doing a good job and getting referrals and word of mouth that comes from doing exceptional work.The next way we get clients is by walking the talk and using all the digital strategies that we provide to our partners /clients.What is the funniest/most strange request you have received from a client/prospective client?One client asked for a lift to a meeting. Haha but HEY I mean that’s the kind of people we are!What is the piece of work you’re most proud of that you’ve done for a client?I am always trying to make the most recent work the best, I have a saying that I always say to my team. Try to be 1% better everyday you show up and by the end of the year you will be 365% better. Or 260% if you remove weekends and public holidays.Where did you meet your co-founder/founding team?In early 2018 I was working with a business advisory company and my Account Manager in that company and I really clicked. His name was Tom Parker and one day out of the blue Tom organised a meeting at my office. Which was strange as usually I always went there.Long story short Tom pitched me by saying sports teams are run better than most businesses and showcased what he could bring to the table in the area of systems, process and strategic growth. Tom is an analytical left brain and I am a creative right brain, it just made sense.So in October 2018 I sold tom 35% of the business and he came to work at Dilate as our GM which has since evolved into Head of Strategic Growth. (We pick our own titles here and Tom seemed to like the ring of that better. Example my title is Head of all things wonderful.Any tips for finding first employees?The old hire slowly and fire quickly rule always applies. But most importantly hire based on attitude not skills. Skills can be taught attitude is conditional and very very hard to modify. We have always got the team involved in the hiring process and also try to bring people into the business for a week or so before we hire them in concrete just to see how they mesh culturally with the existing team. Dilate is like a big family and we try to ensure our new teams members align with our values and purpose.What is the most common service you sell?Digital marketing - Paid Advertising strategies - Google ad products, Facebook, remarketing etc (instant gratification products) and SEO (long term investment in brand) that’s 90% of our business the other 10% is one off products such as websites, hosting etcWhat motivated you to start your own business?I wanted to see if I could, and was young enough with little or no responsibilities to give it a try.If i had to start today with (the knowledge I had then) two kids and no real business experience, I don't know if I would have taken that risk. However it has paid off and I am very glad I did.What were your family and friends first thoughts on you creating your own your company?I was very lucky to have a strong support network who supported those early days where I didn't do much besides work. It’s been a 7 year journey and I am only just starting to find balance. I am also lucky to have an awesome team. I have people with me today that were there at the start, which is always great to keep you humble.What has starting a business taught you?I have learnt that those who risk big win big, but as you grow you care more because your business is responsible for more people. This can make you a bit more conservative. In the early days if you take a risk and it goes wrong, you don’t eat, so to speak. I can make that decision for myself, but I cannot make that decision for my team. Conservation slows growth, but stable growth is still growth. These days I take more of an educated risk approach.Things will always go wrong, but i have always found solace in a quote by Napolean Hill:“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”What I take from this is that things aren’t always going to go your way, and you can have the roulette wheel land on your colour ten times in a row, but it’s what you do when it lands on the wrong colour that actually matters. Some people see problems, others opportunities. (even if it’s just the learning)In other words when life throws you lemons - start an online ecomm store selling organic, gluten free, vegan friendly, ethically sourced lemonade and contact Dilate Digital to help get people buying.What is stopping us being 3x the size we are now?Well I actually believe there are no prizes for the biggest business. We want to be Australia’s most respected marketing agency. (starting with Western Australia)What are the top apps your business could not run without?Slack - removes internal email and allows collaboration and sharing fast.Gsuite - allows us to create team drives and also amazing Google sheets that integrate with all sorts of rad stuff including our company dashboard which is the heartbeat of the business.XERO - best accounting software with amazing integration ability .Copper CRM - This is expensive but an Awesome CRM that lives in the back of Gsuite and follows the client from first touch point/ proposal right through the life of the client.SEMrush - Industry standard for all things SEO .Google keyword planner/trends - Research and validating market size.Are there any new services you’re working on?We have started offering smart branding its similar to the old school banner advertising except the audiences are created based on customer search history. I.e. if you search for ‘Subaru Forester’ you will see advertising related to that brand, make and model at a time that is more likely to draw traffic and enquiry.Also, Spotify ads, taking market share from Radio advertising.We are always working on stuff. The I in Dilate is our value for Innovation.Would you ever sell the company?I already sold part of it, but that was to help the business grow. At the moment I am enjoying what I do and the people I am doing it with. So hopefully that continues.If you enjoyed this interview - the original is here.
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Change by Jordana Levine
When most people look back on their lives, out of the thousands of days spent on this earth, they tend to remember graduating high school, going to college, getting married, having kids, and retiring. What is most vivid in their memory is the times they made a life-changing decision, one that was either self motivated, motivated by somebody else, or forced upon them by the universe. But most of the time, change happens when people take it upon themselves to change themselves or change the game. I thought the decisions that the following individuals made were quite life changing.
Debbie Glessner and Ivy Fischer, two women in a civil union, made the decision to adopt two baby girls from China and to start a family. Debbie and Ivy are now 59 years old and live in Montclair, New Jersey with their two daughters, Annie and Charlotte. Annie is 19 years old and Charlotte is 16 years old. They have a long-time babysitter, named Carmen, who helps out three days a week, and a rescue dog named Cliff. Debbie works for the New York City law firm Willkie Farr & Gallagher as the Director of Library Services. She has worked there since 1991. Since they adopted Charlotte, Debbie has worked only three days a week. Ivy has been with the HUB International Group Northeast, a large insurance brokerage, for over 20 years and is the Senior Vice President & Chief Legal Counsel.
While studying at the University of Pittsburgh, where the two met, Ivy chose the right of gay women and men to adopt as the topic for a public speaking class. Then when Debbie and Ivy were both in their mid 30’s, Ivy told Debbie about her desire to start a family. Unlike Ivy, Debbie was hesitant to start a family of her own when she was still taking care of her immediate family. Her parents were divorced and her mom had a long-term illness, multiple sclerosis, and was bedridden and partially blind. Her brother lived with their mom, which was a great help. But Debbie still was very involved in watching after her and she feared that adding a child into the mix would be too much to handle.
Attending college and thinking about his future, Herb Glaser was majoring in biology with the intention of becoming a dentist. Unfortunately, Herb did not get into dental school right away. So during that time, he worked part-time at his family’s bakery, Glaser’s Bake Shop. The bakery was opened by Herb’s grandparents, John and Justine Glaser, in 1902. It is located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in a neighborhood known as Yorkville. The business was passed down to Herb’s father and was eventually turned over to Herb and his brother, John. Herb became pretty good at his job, having grown up with the bakery. His family lived right above the bakery and, as a kid, Herb was pretty popular because of it. At the time, there were a lot of small businesses in the neighborhood. However, over time, the number of small family-run businesses declined. What kept Glaser’s Bake Shop alive was that Herb’s grandfather, John, bought the building. Herb and his partner, Lawrence Levine, still live in the building today. In fact, Herb has never lived in a home that his family hadn’t lived in previously.
Staying close to home is a common theme. Gina Shaw, currently 64 years old, lived at home during college due to her dad becoming a bigger part of her life. Gina attended Queens College and now works as a freelance children's book editor and author. Her parents divorced when she was in the seventh grade. She and her sister only saw their dad twice a week and every other weekend, and even less after he moved to Manhattan. Unexpectedly, her dad came back to live with her family during her senior year of high school. In fact, Gina explained, “Everything happened so fast -- the fact that my mom took him back was astounding for me, my sister, and my dad.” A common wish by most young adults who are looking at colleges is to go as far away as possible from home and that’s exactly what Gina planned to do. But life happens and things do not always go exactly as planned. Gina’s dad said that he felt as if he had lost so much time with his daughters, even though he lived in Manhattan, not too far from where Gina resided growing up, in Bayside, Queens. To help convince her and make up for the downside of not being able to go away, recalls Gina, “He said he would buy me a car to make the commute easier for me. I could never say no to my dad about anything. I stayed home and went to Queens College.”
Change in environment is huge and so is change in marital status. Stephanie Serino and David Jared had a secret international marriage. They met in 1990 while David, an Englishman, was traveling to California to visit friends. Stephanie lived in New Jersey and David was making a stop to New York before his final destination. This was the first time the couple met. As David recalls, “I visited New York the next year and when Stephanie came to England in August of 1991, we decided to get married. Rather than try to plan a transatlantic wedding we decided to marry immediately, without telling friends or family.” Now the next question was their living situation. At the time, David lived in the southwest of England in a place called Milborne Port, working for an engineering company. Stephanie had been working at The New York Times. The two of them felt living in the United States was the best choice for them. David was glad to move to the States. It was an opportunity to start a new life, which is an opportunity many can only dream of.
Opportunities like David’s don’t come around that often. And when you’re gay and the government is against what you want, opportunities may not come around at all. Debbie explained to me how, “There was potential for my application [to adopt] to be derailed because of both the US and Chinese governments’ positions on gay adoption.” Backtracking a bit, Ivy knew for sure that she wanted a family while Debbie was still struggling with supporting her own. In addition while growing up, Debbie was really close with her dad, a “daddy’s girl” she recalls. So she felt strongly about having a father’s presence in her future children’s lives. Debbie also feared that homophobia could lead to ostracism and an unsafe environment for her children. The conversation of adoption continued on for several years.
What convinced Debbie was a 1993 article in the Sunday New York Times Magazine entitled, ‘Unwanted and Abandoned, Baby Girls have Become the Newest Chinese Export.’ It was about the author, Bruce Porter’s, experience adopting from China. After reading the article, Debbie finally wanted to adopt. Debbie calls what happens next a coincidence, but I call it fate. She saw a notice about an adoption agency called the World Association for Children (WACAP) offering an information seminar on international adoptions. Of course, Debbie attended and told her neighbor, Sherry Long Abeson, all about it since she and her husband, Tony, had decided to adopt from China. Sherry recommended the adoption agency LaVida in Pennsylvania after checking to see if it would be willing to work with Debbie and Ivy. They were able to help Debbie as a single woman, so Debbie started submitting the paperwork in January 1996.
After a stressful home study to see if the home was fit for adoption and waiting for a referral, finally in October 1996, they received a picture of their future daughter, Annie, and her health information. Then in January 1997, they flew to China to meet their daughter. Debbie described it as, “a fairytale time in China.” Fortunately for Debbie and Ivy, they had a very easy time becoming parents and a welcoming community. The two of them knew they wanted to adopt another girl, so this time Ivy filled out the papers as a single woman. Unfortunately, Ivy’s mom passed away, so the adoption process was put on hold. But in August of 2000, Ivy, her dad, and two sisters flew to China to adopt Charlotte, named after her mother, while Annie and Debbie awaited their arrival at home to unite as a family.
Uniting as a family is not always that easy. Gina’s mom was a registered nurse and by Gina’s junior year of high school, her mom realized she could no longer work. She had serious mental problems and was unstable, so Gina’s dad had to step in. Gina’s mom would constantly tell Gina that her sister, “‘was more like my mom and I was more like my dad’” and suggested that Gina could move in with her dad instead. Gina never did because she wanted to be there for her sister. In addition, Gina wanted to be there for her dad when he came back into the house, so she made the decision to stay.
Staying home turned out to be beneficial to the relationship Gina had with her dad. They bonded over her college courses, especially the English classes, since Gina’s dad was a writer and editor and Gina was an English major. Overall, Gina felt staying home, “was worth it because of the amount of quality time I got to spend with my dad and because things seemed to ease up for awhile for my mom.” Gina had some regrets because she feels that going away would have allowed her to learn more about herself and become more independent, but she credits her dad for encouraging her to travel on her own. She went away during breaks to Europe, California, and Canada. During the four years at home, their already strong bond grew even stronger. Gina described how they, “cemented a bond so strong that it lasted my entire life.” Her dad passed away in 1986 but Gina still has thought, “about him every day since he died. I can still hear his voice, know what he would say to me, know the advice he would give me.”
Clearly parents have been strong influences in many individual’s lives. Herb was named after his dad and just like him, Herb decided he, “really liked the work, and the whole idea of a small business.” This led him to stay with the bakery and since then he has, “been working full time at the bakery for over 40 years.” Herb, now 63 years old, has never regretted the decision and still loves what he does.
Unlike Herb, David, also 63 years old, has been retired for three years. Looking back he too never regretted the decision of moving to the United States and getting married. He and his wife, Stephanie, had no doubts, and David explains, “Sometimes in life, you just sort of know something is right.” When David moved to the States, he sold most of his possessions. David and Stephanie got remarried with Stephanie’s friends and family in the bandstand of their local park. Later on, David applied for a ‘Green Card’ and received it early in 1992. David and Stephanie are still happily married and living in Hoboken, New Jersey.
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