#Dear Doctor I’m Coming For You Soul

[orimuraa]

꒰♡꒱ Dear. My darling - OT7

(synopsis) ༊*·˚ it was so painful for enhypen not to miss youೄྀ

ot7 enhypen x fem!reader ༊*·˚ HEAVY angst ༊*·˚ main character death ༊*·˚ enha dealing with your death ༊*·˚ death, crying, mentions of sickness ༊*·˚ wc 1.8k

jiji’s note: i’m so sorry for the heart wrenching angst. i’m in a mood rn and this is what came out of it. pls do not read if you have trouble reading about loss of a loved one. if you are struggling with something like this, my inbox is always open <3

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧

𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승

wow. you were really gone. it’s been weeks since you left this cruel world and heeseung hasn’t been able to realize that you really were gone. you didn’t deserve to leave. you were the purest person on this earth and heeseung was the luckiest man on earth to have you. you were so, so, so strong up until your final breath. you had fought so hard to stay awake everyday and heeseung was right there with you on your hospital bedside. you had asked him, “when i leave, promise me that you won’t miss me too much okay?” and he wanted to promise you that and so much more. that it would be okay. that you would make it out well and healthy. but you both knew that that was just a fantasy too far out of reach. the doctors had told you and heeseung that your condition had only gotten worse and your days were limited now. heeseung took a whole month off of work just so he could stay by your side every minute of the grueling days. the sound of your labored breathing was like a stab to his heart each time he heard it. your were in so much pain and he couldn’t do anything to fix it.

the day you left him, a part of soul left him as well. you were his everything. he treasured you so greatly and to think that he wouldn’t be able to see you anymore hurt like hell. he hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt his tears drip onto his pants. how could he keep his promise to you when all he could think of was just missing everything about you? but he was determined to live till the day that you and him would be able to reunite with each other without any pain or care in the world. he knew that you were doing so much better now that you were free of your pain and that you would always be with him. always.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성

it took a long three days for jay to finally realize that you were gone and that you weren’t coming back. the world had been so cruel to you and it resulted in you having to stay in the dreaded hospital for your last days on this earth. the hospital was the place you had despised most. knowing fully well that your illness was incurable, you had told jay, “promise me you won’t be too sad” how could he not? the love of his life was bound to this hospital bed and the life in your eyes was slowly fading away. the bright smile you always wore had become a rare sight nowadays and jay’s heart was shattering with each and every awful day that passed. on a cold afternoon, you took your final breath on this world with your loving boyfriend right by your side, whispering how he would find you in every lifetime just to be with you again.

jay didn’t know how long he cried for but what he did know was that his tears couldn’t bring you back. he knew it was selfish of him to wish that you were somehow still alive knowing that you were probably free of any pain you were in when you were on earth. he hated how he couldn’t keep his promise with you. he hated how you wouldn’t be there to brighten up his world anymore. when you left, you took jay’s soul away with you. you were his everything. how could he live without you?

𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤

jake dreaded every passing day, knowing that your condition was only getting weaker and weaker. a couple months ago, you were diagnosed with an illness that was incurable. that was jake’s worst day of his life. now, in the final days of your life, he was here with you, right beside your bed. he made sure that your hospital room looked nice and neat just the way you like it and he never left you alone. everyday, you would tell him just a little bit more how much you loved him. he knew the reason. he knew it was all because you were slowly fading away. he could see it in the way your eyes never twinkled anymore, and the way your smile was never quite full. every little word that came out of your mouth was filled with so much pain. he also knew that the best thing for you was to just be able to rest. to be free of this cruel and awful world that had cursed you, the purest of angels. you deserved nothing like this, yet look where you were now. stuck to a hospital bed, slowly and painfully losing your life.

the day you let go, jake couldn’t accept the fact that you were gone. his friends had to come and pick him up from the hospital just for him to attempt to run back in, saying you needed him next to you. the truth was, he needed you next to him. he cried himself to sleep every night since that day, missing you more and more as the time went by. jake knew that you wouldn’t have wanted him to be this miserable. he could just imagine you wiping his tears for him and telling him not to cry too much for you. but how could he not when his light in this dark world just went out? he couldn’t bear thinking of what life would be like without you. he just couldn’t.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈

sunghoon felt like his heart was just ripped out. seeing you take your last breath in that god awful hospital room was so heartbreaking for him to witness. the way your eyes had so much pain in them but the smile you tried to put on for him is something he could never ever forget. why did you have to be cursed by this world? why was it always the purest of people? you were nothing but an angel to this world yet you still got sick, limiting your time with sunghoon.

exactly a month after your death, sunghoon wrote a letter to you. he wrote it because he wasn’t sure how else to cope on this day. he wanted to let you know that he was trying so hard to be strong for you, but it hurt so bad. he missed you so much. the way your eyes would crinkle into little crescents when you smiled, and your warm, infectious laugh, he would never be able to experience this ever again. he held so much guilt in his heart for not being able to keep your promise to him. he promised to you that he would try his hardest to move on just like you wanted for him, but he just couldn’t. he didn’t know how to cope with anything at the moment and he certainly had no plans of moving on. he just couldn’t keep his promise.

𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - 김선우

seeing your brightness slowly fade into darkness was sunoo’s nightmare. he hated how he had to watch the brightest person ever slowly get consumed by the dark. your illness was a mystery to the doctors and it had been a surprise. it happened so suddenly and sunoo had no idea how to handle it. he stayed with you everyday and made sure that your were never alone, knowing deep down that these were probably his last moments with you. on the day of your passing, sunoo cried and cried and cried. he felt so helpless and heartbroken that he was afraid he would never do anything else in his life except cry. cry for you. you would’ve never wanted him to be this devastated but it was something you couldn’t control. he knew that if you ever saw him now, you would break down at the sight. he was a wreck since you left him. he wasn’t sure how to move on or just move to the next step from there. a part of his soul died the same day you did, leaving him with half a soul, and a broken heart.

𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원

you were so young. you didn’t deserve anything that happened to you. the doctors had diagnosed you with a sickness that was limited your days on the earth after an accident you had. jungwon never left you alone and always made sure to be with you every second you were awake, savoring his last few moments with you. it was supposed to be any day now where your body would give out and jungwon would lose the one person in life who made life worth living for. before you passed, you had told him, “i want you to be happy when i’m gone. i don’t want you being stuck on me and not moving on. please promise me that” and at the time, he was willing to do whatever you wanted since it would be your last wish, but now, he hated the idea of moving on from you. there was no way he could ever let you go.

𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力

having to deal with your passing at such a young age was so hard for ni-ki. you had gone down with an unknown illness and the doctors said that your days were limited now. ni-ki was with you every step of the way up until your death. he loved you so much and he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. the day you had passed away was the hardest thing ni-ki ever had to go through. you were such a bright and bubbly person so him seeing you so lifeless and low made his heart break. you would always re-assure him that you were doing fine and just a bit tired, but ni-ki saw right through it. he knew how much you were struggling because you still had so much you wanted to accomplish in your lifetime. you and ni-ki had once shared your dreams for your futures to each other and it now pains him to realize that you would never be able to love out your dream.

a week after your passing, ni-ki and his hyungs went to go get flowers to honor you. jake had told him that maybe he just needed to write a letter of closing to you. to let you know how proud he was of you for fighting so hard for so long. he had so much he wanted to say to you but the realization that he would never be able to talk with you again really struck deep. he knew he had to recover for you, but he would never move on. he promised himself that he could never love again. he felt that he would be betraying you even if you wanted him to move on after you were gone. but god, he would miss you so much. but at least now, you were in the stars.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧

i'm sorry for the heavy angst :( it was rlly hard for me to write as it just reminded me of my grandma's passing but funny enough, i think this helped me get out some emotions i didn't know i needed to. if you're ever struggling, i want my inbox to be a safe space for everyone to just come and vent if needed. i want to be a safe space for people in need. tysm for reading everyone. feedback is very appreciated <3

[lunarsilver]

What awaits you in November? PAC

Hello, welcome to another monthly reading! This time a pretty chill one, with charms and shufflemancy. If you're feeling down, you may want to read it, because my charms are hyping up everyone here, I swear xD.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

Pile 1

Charms: strength in the group, be brave!, and I love you for it!, seize the moment, new is exciting, I dreamed you!

Songs: “Loser, Baby” from Hazbin Hotel, “Human” by Rag’n’Bone Man, Le Bien qui fait mal from Mozart Opera Rock

There is this strong emphasis on acceptance of your limitations and finding some friendly souls (or maybe deepening the friendship with the people you’re already friends with). The encouragement to do what you want. Not everyone is right for you, and there always will be someone more talented/hardworking than you, but this November you should understand there are a lot of possibilities around you. Go out, have fun.

Pile 2

Charms: you are a master, seize the moment, call the team, just waiting for this, you can count on me, join the game!, you will succeed! :), party?

Songs: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, The City’s Yours by Jamie Foxx and Quvenzhane Wallis, Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage by  Fish in a Birdcage

This pile is even more party-going and outgoing than the first one - or rather, the encouragement to go out with some people and try something new is here even more insistent. Doesn’t matter if “the game” is literally some kind of a game (I feel that some of you will go out with some people to a place with retro games or go bowling) or some project you’re thinking about, you’ll succeed. With the first and last song, I feel like one specific person will be pretty important this month. Or maybe two? For some reason, a grandma came to my mind (take her to the place which is dear to both of you), though a friend or partner are also very plausible.

Pile 3

Charms: success!, it will get better, a good plan is a must, let them say what they want, shall we make up something? (the charm is in my language and the sentence can also mean “let’s paint something” and “let's do something thoughtless but fun”), shall we stand together?, there is nothing like home, let's do something stupid

Songs: Time Machine by Ingrid Michaelson, Overdose by natori, Snowman by Sia

The way the first song has a verse “You slammed that door and left me standing all alone” and one of the charms says “shall we stand together?”??? It looks like there’s a period of healing after something or someone, some ex? Some toxic friend? Someone you (have) cared about and they hurt you, that’s for sure. It looks like someone else will come up in the picture at the right moment and encourage you to have some silly, almost childish fun with them. This troublemaker vibe is strong with them, but the other charms make me think they’re quite sweet. Like, "let's do some stupid shit to light up your mood".

[tightjeansjavi]

The Menu | Part 1

“Vices to fill a Void”

A/N: so I decided this is gonna be a two-parter because if theres one thing I’m good at, it’s edging my dear readers ;)

~word count: 3.4k~

Pairing | dark! Joel Miller x f! reader

Summary: Joel Miller has a menu concocted just for his customers. Pills? He’s got ‘em. Guns? Ammo? Name your price. Booze to warm the broken souls and hearts of the QZ? give him a holler. Everything comes with a price, of course. Joels got somethin’ special on his menu. Somethin’ that he doesn’t advertise freely. Y’gotta want it. Y’gotta have a desire that matches his own, only then will he offer what you seek.

Warnings: dark themes, two feral cats energy, mentions of deceased bodies, Joel is an asshole that knows how to get exactly what he wants. Dark! Joel, post!outbreak, Joel and Tess run the black market in the QZ, age gap, Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her late 20’s, mentions of drugs, smoking, alcohol, graphic depictions of violence, reader is a spitfire with a no-shit taking attitude, enemies to lovers type beat, Joel likes to play mind games, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is Angel, +18 minors dni!

The first time you meet the infamous Joel Miller is in his and Tess’s apartment in one of the few available Boston QZ apartments. Rumor on the street is that Joel and Tess are an item. When in all actuality, they’re business partners that occasionally fuck. His options, however, are not just limited to Tess. He likes to keep that part of his business on the low. He’s got a reputation, sure. But he doesn’t boast it proudly like a peacock. He knows his expertise, and he knows it well. His purpose in the structure of the QZ was smuggling. He’d bring pills, booze, ammo, guns, and anything else that was desirable. He’d trade for ration cards; a hefty amount of them. Sometimes, he’d allow his customers to trade their bodies, but he was quite picky, and it ain’t had anything to do with women’s appearances. In that department, he indulged in all body types. What he was most intrigued about was their minds. Their ability to survive, and most importantly, what they desired most in this shit-hole world.

He liked it when they were verbal. Silence was not a name in his game. He liked it when they showed up at his doorstep knowing exactly what it was that they wanted from him. He could play all the cards, and he played them well. He could be empathetic if they asked for it. He could pretend to love them just for the night. He could yank their hair, dig his nails into their flesh and call them a dirty, useless whore, but only if it was requested. See, he wasn’t all that brutal of a man, but if you weren’t careful and direct, he might send you home with more than just an ache between your thighs. He knew how to fuck, and he enjoyed it almost as much as he enjoyed beating a man senseless, almost.

You, however, held no interest to know what laid beneath his weathered jeans. You showed up wanting one thing, and one thing only. A vice to fill the hole in the void of your heart. You knew that Joel Miller’s menu was just what the doctor ordered.

Tess and Joel were seated at the kitchen table going through their supplies for the day. They had their usual customers, but Joel was always intrigued to see new faces walk through his door.

A cigarette dangled between his lips as he flipped through a stack of ration cards. The scent of tobacco wafted through the cracks in the door frame as your knuckles rapped firmly along the chipped paint. You knocked once, then twice five seconds later. It was customary like a code. Not that Joel or Tess had any concerns with FEDRA; they were a part of his regular cycle of customers too.

“Come in.” His voice was thick, deep, and dripping with authority.

The tip of the cigarette glowed bright orange as he inhaled the toxic fumes. The nicotine that coursed through his system calmed his nerves. Everyone had their own skeletons in their closets after all.

He paused his counting momentarily as he listened to the door handle squeak before it was pushed open.

“Sit.” He rasped with his freehand gesturing to the open seat in front of the table. “State your business.”

You watched the way the smoke coiled around his head like an ashy halo through the stagnant air. His brow cocked in your direction as his eyes zoned in on the stack of ration cards that you pulled from your jacket pocket.

“I was told that your menu is designed to cater to one's vices. I’m needin’ a bottle of booze, and a pack of smokes if you got any.” You placed the ration cards along the table before leaning back against the chairs frame.

“We ain’t got a whole pack, unfortunately. Five cards gets you five sticks, and three gets ya a bottle of hooch.” He declared in his warm Texas twang.

He was handsome, you’d give him that satisfaction only.

“I’ve got ten cards total. How about you throw’n two more smokes to make it even?” You countered smoothly as you crossed your arms against your chest.

“A negotiator, huh? Well, I'll tell ya what, girlie. Y’got yourself a deal. Y’new around here? Ain’t seen ya before.” He knew pretty much every face in the QZ. But yours remained a mystery. He wasn’t all too big of a fan of mysteries.

“Don’t think that is any of your concern, Joel.” You ignored his question as you passed off the cards.

“True.” He mused with a grin tugging across his lips. ‘S’alright. I’ll jus’ end up findin’ out about you in my own way.” He shrugged with the utmost casualness that sent your blood boiling under the surface. “Besides, my customers always end up comin’ back for more.” He grabbed a bottle of hooch and seven freshly rolled cigarettes concealed in tinfoil.

“There ain’t much for you to find out. Wouldn’t go wastin’ your time.” You grabbed the bottle swiftly before tucking it into the inner lining of your jacket. Before he could send you on your way, however, you unrolled the tinfoil to inspect the handiwork. Once you were satisfied with the merch, you plucked one of the cigarettes and placed it between your lips. “You got a light I can borrow?”

His nose twitched and his eyes squinted tightly before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He beckoned you silently to lean in as he ignited the flame.

“Y’know, these are a nasty habit to break.” He leaned back into his chair with his own cigarette dying between his lips. “Ain’t nothin’ like a good ole’ fashioned nicotine addiction.”

You scoffed under your breath as you took a deep inhale of the cancerous smoke that filled your lungs. “Says the man puffin’ away on one right in front of my face.”

He didn’t even look half fazed by your remark as he blew the smoke drifting from his lips off to the side.

You stared at one another a second longer before you stood up from your chair and snatched the cigarettes from the table.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, Joel Miller. See ya around.”

Before he could respond, you were already slipping back out his apartment door and into the hallway.

“Man, she’s got a pair of balls on her, huh?” Tess mused from her seat alongside him.

“Yeah,” He smirked. “She sure does.”

The next time you saw Joel Miller was a few weeks later. You were assigned with assisting in dumping deceased infected into the deep pits where their flesh would be burned and melted away and all that would be remaining was their brittle bones. You had done this job enough times to get used to the putrid stench of rotting flesh. Others, however, couldn’t stand the smell. Some would pass out, others would empty what little was in their stomachs.

A denim-clad shoulder brushed against you as you lifted another body from the truck bed.

“Fancy seein’ you here, Angel.” Joel’s voice was muffled through the bandana he wore across his face, but you knew it was him just from that Texas twang of his.

Your eyes rolled back as walked past him and dropped the body into the flames that engulfed it.

“C’mon now.” He mused. “I know y’heard me.” He pressed.

“Fuck off, Joel.” You muttered under your breath as you bumped his shoulder harshly.

“Y’break that nasty habit yet?” He asked with a twinge of curiosity.

“Nope. Don’t plan on it either.”

Much to your relief, he walked away without speaking another word. It was short-lived however as he was standing right behind you in line to receive your ration cards for the day. The air was hot and almost unbearable as you wiped the sweat of your brow along your sleeve. When the cards were placed into your outstretched palm you shoved them deep into your pocket. The pay wasn’t worth the work that you put in.

Before you could disappear around the corner of the alley to head home, a hand grasped your shoulder rather firmly and before you could reach for your concealed weapon, your back was met with something hard that nearly knocked the air from your lungs.

Joel Miller.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doin’, Joel?!” You hissed under your breath as he flipped you around to face him.

“Got a proposition for ya, girlie. Trust me, you’ll want in.” His voice dipped down an octave as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of pills. Painkillers you suspected. The kind of shit that people could easily find themselves getting addicted to.

“And what makes you fuckin’ think that I would wanna do anythin’ for you?” What the fuck was this guys problem? The nerve he had.

“Cus’ I know there’s somethin’ that you want. Somethin’ that you need. Besides, you ain’t gonna make it long here if you don’t start usin’ people. S’the only way to survive in this world now. So, here’s what you’re gonna do. Tess and I wanna branch out further and in order to do that, we gotta get the rest of FEDRA off our backs.”

“You ain’t know shit about me, Joel. I’m doin’ just fine on my own.” You ripped your arm from his grasp, but he was quicker than you expected.

“I ain’t askin’ you, Angel. I’m tellin.’ Now, you’re gonna take these pills, and you’re gonna go on over to those guys o’there, and you’re gonna trade them. Y’get half the ration cards from the deal. Seem fair?” His tall stature loomed over you like a shadow being casted across the sun. Everything about this man was massive. His hands. His bulging arms. His shoulders. He was built like a fucking fridge, and he clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Is this what you do to all of your customers? Corner them into alleys and force them to do your dirty work for you?” You scoffed as you ripped the baggy from his hand. “And I get all the cards. I ain’t gonna let you just go and boss me around for half.”

“Jus’ the pretty ones that have a mouth to ‘em.” He mused with a wicked grin. “Fine. Y’get all the cards, but only if they agree to trade. Go on now, Angel. Time's a tickin away.” He nudged you forward with the palm of his calloused hand resting along your lower back.

“Asshole.” You hissed under your breath as you stashed the pills into your pocket before departing from the alley. If there was one thing you were good at, it was getting men to give you exactly what you wanted. You could flutter your lashes, giggle, flirt a little and their little egos would be crushed to dust beneath your fingertips.

“Hey boys, got a minute?” You spoke in a honeyed voice as the three officers diverted their attention towards you.

Joel watched from the shadows of the alley as you worked your charm like a fiddle. He was impressed with your natural skills. You certainly were no pushover. He did wonder if this was all a facade that you wore confidently. He thought briefly about what it would be like to have you beneath his sheets. What would you request from him? Would you ask him to be sweet and gentle? To fuck you like a man oughta? Or, would you be willing to share your deepest, darkest, filthy desires with him? He hoped for the latter.

When the deal was done, you made your way back across the street. Maybe Joel Miller was right. Maybe you should start using people for what they have. Who gave a fuck about morale anyway?

“How’d it go?” he inquired with his broad arms crossed against his chest as he leaned back against the brick wall.

“They wouldn’t take the bait unfortunately.” You let out a faux sigh. “Guess the deal is off.”

“What a shame, Angel. I surely thought you had it in ya. Guess I was wrong. Oh well. Good luck to ya.” He pushed himself off the wall only to find himself being pushed right up against it. Your palm lay flat against his chest as your freehand reached into your pocket and pulled out a single ration card.

His brow raised curiously as you went to slip the card into his back pocket. His eyes widened when he felt the warmth of your fingers searing through his jeans. At this close proximity, he got a proper whiff of your natural scent, and his cock pathetically twitched in the tight confines of the denim.

“Here’s your half of the deal. Decided to be generous.” You whispered through the thick growing tension.

His hand reached up to grab your wrist but before he could make contact with your skin, you were already stepping away from his reach. Your fingers rose in a mock salute before you turned on your heel and walked away.

Fuck. She’s perfect.

The next time Joel Miller saw you it's past curfew. Hours to be exact. The Boston QZ streets are quiet sans the labored breathing and deep grunts coming from a group of low-life scumbags.

“I already told you, I don’t have shit on me!” You emptied out your pockets to show these fuckers that you weren’t messing around. Would raw honesty really keep these men from tearing you apart?

“Bullshit. Y’got stuff back at your place, right? C’mon now darlin’, don’t lie to us. We’ve seen you hangin’ around Miller. Y’workin’ with him?” The man that had you pinned against the brick wall pressed further.

“Oh, for fuck sakes! Are y’all really that boneheaded to think that i’m gonna be carryin’ merch on me out in the open like this?!” You yelled out of frustration as you tried to pin your wrists free to reach your concealed knife.

“How about you shut the fuck up and tell us where Joel’s apartment is, and we won’t have to kill you. How’s that sound?” The man twisted your wrists tightly to the point where you were just waiting to hear a sickening crack.

“I don’t know where his apartment is, asshole. And even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell the likes of you because i’m not a fuckin’ rat!” You hissed between your gritted teeth as you threw your head back in one swift movement right into the face of the man that was holding you hostage. His nose crunched audibly from the force as he stumbled back right onto his ass.

Blood pooled and gushed down his lips as he yelled out a slew of profanities in your direction. Just as you were reaching for your knife, it was knocked from your grasp and clattered to the concrete out of your reach.

A fist collided with your face that sent you slamming into the brick wall with your ears wildly ringing.

You detected a familiar voice through your half-conscious haze as you slumped down to the ground with a labored wheeze.

A sickening crunch, followed by a strangled yell as Joel had one of the men in a headlock. Their body dropped to the ground like a bag of bricks. Eyes forever unmoving. The man that you headbutted was desperately trying to crawl away as Joel staggered after him. He bent down, grasping the hilt of your knife in his calloused palm.

His pupils were dark like a never ending black pit as he sent his steel-toed boot colliding into his gut over and over again. The man’s wails died in his throat as Joel flipped him over onto his back and slit his throat with one fatal swipe. Blood spurted from the entry wound and speckled Joel’s skin in a spray of crimson.

The third man almost got away, but Joel fired a bullet right into his spine without a second thought.

He focused his attention on you as he crouched down, knife still in his grasp, dripping with blood onto the pavement. His freehand grasped your face gently as he assessed your injuries. His good ear detected the sound of tires crunching under gravel; FEDRA.

“Angel, we need to go. We need to move. NOW.” He spoke urgently as he tucked your knife away before placing that hand along your shoulder. “FEDRA is gonna be here any minute, and I don’t know about you, but my ass is NOT bein’ thrown in lockup!”

When you didn’t immediately respond to his dire request, he took matters into his own hands, literally. You felt his strong arms lift you from the ground as if you weighed nothing. He left the crime scene in a flash. He was speaking to you, but you couldn’t detect his words as his mouth was moving too fast.

The last thing you remembered seeing was his dark, espresso brown eyes, and his blood spattered skin.

“Need’ya to open your eyes for me, sweetheart. C’mon. Guy knocked ya pretty good, but you’ll live.” Joel murmured close to your face as you were coming to.

What the fuck.

Your lashes fluttered for a moment and then snapped open. Despite the ache in your face from being punched, and the pounding in your skull, you immediately shot your hands upwards and shoved harshly at his broad chest.

“Joel?! What the actual fuck–”

“Ah, there she is. The sleepin’ beauty awakes, finally!” He’s grinning like a cheshire cat as he moves off the couch to give you space to breathe.

“What the fuck are you doin’ here, Joel?”

“Wow.” He tuts under his breath dissaprovingly. “Can’t even get a thank you for savin’ your fuckin’ life?”

“I had the situation handled on my own. What the hell were you doin’ out past curfew anyway?” You sat up a little too fast as blood rushed to your head.

His strong hands were gently easing you back down to a lying position before he was backing off again.

“Easy now, Angel. I wouldn’t sit up a’that fast if I were you.” He warned you sternly.

“Well, good thing you aren’t me, huh?” You snapped back as you swung your legs over the side of the couch.

This time he was more forceful in his actions as his hands pressed down on your shoulders firmly. “I said, stay put. God, can’t you jus’ fuckin’ listen to me when I tell ya to take it easy? You’re gonna bust your nose back open, and the stitches on the back of your head. Just chill the fuck out.” You could taste his hot breath on his tongue and feel his pulse quicken. The bulging veins in his neck protruded through the thin skin.

You swallowed harshly as your gaze wavered along the remnants of blood on his skin. Why didn’t he bother to wash it off? You couldn't help but wonder.

“I didn’t fuckin’ need your help, Joel. And you still haven’t answered my previous question either.”

He rolled his eyes before he lifted his hands from your shoulders and stalked away into the kitchen. You heard him grumbling under his breath as he slammed open a cabinet door that was already hanging by the hinges on its last legs.

“Oh, I see. So you’re just gonna ignore me now? Y’know, its fuckin’ rude to not answer someone when they ask you a question, Joel.” You muttered mostly to yourself, but you secretly had hoped that he heard you too.

Two semi-cleaned glasses were yanked from the sink and lifted from their rims as Joel swiped up a bottle of whiskey before stalking back over to the couch. He slammed the glasses down on the faded coffee table before popping the cap off with his teeth.

You were infuriating. Disrespectful. And he wanted nothing more than to put you right back into your fucking place. He however, refrained from doing so and instead poured a large splash of amber liquor into both glasses.

“Y’know, Angel. One day that mouth of yours is gonna send ya six feet under.” He stated firmly as he picked up his glass, swirled the liquor around before throwing it down his throat in one gulp.

Your eyes narrowed into slits as you glared at him from the couch. You reached for your own glass as you slowly sat up. He was pouring himself another when you downed the liquor without a fuss.

“I am well aware of that, Joel.” You deadpanned and he poured you another.

“Good, that’s real good, Angel. S’then it should come as no surprise to you that I think you’re a fuckin’ disrespectful brat.” He rasped low and deep as his words rumbled like an oncoming storm.

The tension in the room was palpable as you stared one another down. Two predators with sharpened claws ready to strike.

______

please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates as I no longer use a masterlist!

banners made by the lovely @saradika

[misstycloud]

How to stop your husband from being weird: situation one- digging in the middle of the night.

One of the things that I have noticed about my dear husband, Arlo (bless his soul), is the constant digging in our backyard; he leaves in the middle of the night and when I dare glance out the window, I see him. His back is always facing towards me, so I can’t get a good look at his face. He is a very expressive person and I can tell what he thinks from simply looking at his face, hence why this is somewhat concerning.

Had I known that my dearest would wake up during ungodly hours of the night, get dressed, fetch the garden tools from the shed, and then proceed to dig a massive hole, then maybe I would have hesitated to say ‘yes’. (Do not be worried, I love my husband deeply and this was just a little joke.)

Joke aside, it is still very annoying. Does he not know this will keep me awake too? I have work to do and I can’t keep on going if my sleep is this disturbed. I would have to be some sort of abomination- a vampire perhaps?

That is not all; I find dirt particles inside our house; I clean for nothing apparently.

I have tried bringing this up(somewhat hard to ask your spouse why they are leaving you all cold and lonely in the middle of the night) with Arlo, but every time he changed the subject. The audacity! He even asks me if I’m ill and is in need of a doctor. I tell him ‘I am quite fine thank you very much!’ and remind him my eyesight is good, I’m not imagining things and I know he’s been up to something in the yard. I also know he’s not preparing to pot new plants for summer so he better not try that with me.

Last time I tried prying the answer out of him, he finally relented and gave me what I wanted.

His explanation: I have been finding a lot of roadkill and other deceased animals lately. I didn’t want you to have to see it. You know I work so many hours, I don’t have time during the day, that’s why I bury them at night. It’s horrible, but understandable since they’re rebuilding the library and trucks loaded with materials drive by often.

Whether I believe this explanation or not doesn’t matter. There is factor agreeing with his explanation and there are ones that goes agaisnt it.

Those vouching for him: it is true that trucks drive by often these days since the library really did catch on fire recently. It was an unfortunate accident casued(according to the police) by some teenagers. They played around with a lighter and things escalated beyond their control. The saddest part is that I can’t go to the library anymore, I suppose I’ll have to find new hobbies to entertain myself until the library is rebuilt and restocked with books. Another thing is that I do like animals and it definitively wouldn’t be fun to see a run-over one in real life. My husband is very caring and wouldn’t expose me to something he knows I hate, therefore it makes sense for him to bury them in secret. Besides, his job is demanding and he actually wouldn’t be able to do so in the day.

All of this form one solution that is: burying the dead animals in secret from his wife(me) during nighttime as to not disturb me or his work hours. (If we look away from the fact I wake when he does)

Factors indicating he’s lying: how come I have never found a roadkill if they are so common nowadays? It’s unusual for him to come home before me, and if he’s that busy with work, it wouldn’t make sense for him to find all of them before I’ve even caught a whiff of something foul nearby. You see what I mean? Secondly, there is not reason why he should be the one doing all this work. Surely there are professionals dealing with here things? In that case then he should call them instead and tell those truck-drivers to be more careful.

Ultimately this is very suspicious, but what else can I do? Statistically, there is a high chance(I believe?) that your husband will have at least one weird hobby. I will have to live with that and I have said to him ‘I love you more than anything and if this is something you wish to do then o won’t question you.’

He was almost in tears, it was adorable. He said, ‘Yes, my love, thank you. I also love you more than anything in this world and I would be damned if something came between us.’

Afterwards I lectured him on not bringing in dirt in the house again, though. This was his answer: of course not, my darling!

To summarise this incident: my husband still visits the outdoors at night, however not as often as before. I warned him, too, of being careful because a bunch of men have been going missing lately and I’d be devastated if his name came up on of of those reports. I shouldn’t say this- but I will- I’m kind of happy those men are gone. I recognised their names and/or faces from the papers, you see. It turns out that all of them were ones I’d met previously. I won’t bore you with the details, but they weren’t pleasant encounters.

Everyday I have checked the floor for dirt and have found none. This is very good news for my ‘cleaning-spirit’. Whenever I feel Arlo leaving the bed I have decided to relax my mind and go back to sleep again. Then, if I’m still half-awake, I will feel him laying down beside me once more and together we drift off to dreamland.

The lesson I learned from this is that you don’t have to ‘fix’ everything about your partner, and they are allowed to have their special hobbies. There is a difference if you’re being harmed in the process, though. If that’s the case then you should immediately speak up about it and you compromise. Remember, communication is key!

———

Written by: (Y/n) (L/n)

[caitlinclark]

candaceparker: 🎶Dear Summer

“I know you gon miss me…” 🎶

I’m retiring.

I promised I’d never cheat the game & that I’d leave it in a better place than I came into it. The competitor in me always wants 1 more, but it’s time. My HEART & body knew, but I needed to give my mind time to accept it.

I always wanted to walk off the court with no parade or tour, just privately with the ones I love. What now was to be my last game, I walked off the court with my daughter. I ended the journey just as I started it, with her.

This offseason hasn’t been fun on a foot that isn’t cooperating. It’s no fun playing in pain (10 surgeries in my career) it’s no fun knowing what you could do, if only…it’s no fun hearing “she isn’t the same” when I know why, it’s no fun accepting the fact you need surgery AGAIN.

I fell in love with a little orange ball at 13 years old and BECAUSE of it my world goes ‘round. The highs are unmatched & the lows taught me lessons. On & off the court I’m proud I’ve always been true & stayed true to ME, even when it wasn’t popular.

I’m grateful that for 16 years I PLAYED A GAME for a living & DESPITE all the injuries, I hooped. I’m grateful for family, friends, teammates, coaches, doctors, trainers & fans who made this journey so special.

In the mean time, know IM A BUSINESS, man, not a businessman. This is the beginning…I’m attacking business, private equity, ownership (I will own both a NBA & WNBA team), broadcasting, production, boardrooms, beach volleyball, dominoes (sorry babe it’s going to get more real) with the same intensity & focus I did basketball.

My mission in life, like Pat Summitt always said, is to “chase people and passions and you will never fail.” Being a wife & mom still remains priority #1 & I’ve learned that time flies, so I plan to enjoy my family to the fullest!

Today’s players: ENJOY IT.

No matter how you prepare for it, you won’t be ready for the gap it leaves in your soul. Forgive me as I mourn a bit, but I’ll be back loving the game differently in a while.

🎶 ”I’m done for now so one for now

Possibly forever, we had fun together

But like all good things, we must come to an end

Please show the same love to my friends, dear Summer” 🎶

[aeneaans]

never real enough

synopsis: neuvillette is in love—he wishes he wasn’t.

word count: 758

c/w: angst, no comfort

a/n: i wrote this in like. maybe an hour and did not edit it at all please bear with me

He had always known there was a great divide between the life of a human and a life like his—a dragon. His days seemed to be endless, yet, one of a human’s was so short lived. Was it pity that he felt? No, humans still managed to make the most of their short life. So what was this feeling that resides in his chest now?

It was almost suffocating, the thought consumed him for days, weeks, even. The concept of love, a novel idea made by humans—or so he thought. It was until he met you, which seemed like yesterday. It’s been a few years since the two of you met. It didn’t seem like a long time until she mentioned it almost a month ago.

“That’s right…a month. It’s been a month since my Lady Furina—” He immediately cut himself off before he could finish his own thought. These frivolous thoughts have been plaguing his mind for no good reason, he thinks.

He clenched his fist, unable to focus on the documents that lie neatly across his desk. You haven’t visited in a while. Though, nobody in their right mind would. It’s been pouring for the past two weeks, which is usually no surprise for most citizens of Fontaine, but this was different.

Archons above, this wasn’t just rain. It was practically a flood, to put it lightly. The trees were blown by harsh winds, the few functioning Aquabuses left delayed. There wasn’t a single soul in sight if one were to look out the window, if you could even see anything beyond the heavy rain.

It didn’t hit him until recently, but give him some time. He’s not good at these things. Love: a distant, alien concept to the unmovable, unbiased Iudex of Fontaine. And yet, there could be no other possible explanation for this—this feeling. He thought he was ill at first, yes, illness was the only possible answer. He went to every doctor in Fontaine and, no, not a single proper explanation. So he turned to his last resort—Furina.

“Dear Chief Justice, you can’t possibly be serious.” Is what she had said to him. “You’re in love!” And as stupid it sounded to him, it was the only logical explanation. His cheeks flushed when he saw you, his heart beating at abnormal rates whenever you say something cheesy to him…Yes, it was love.

Typically, humans would be flustered. They were in love? It isn’t to say that he wasn’t flustered at first, but then reality hit him. You’re a human. He’s…not.

It simply wasn’t meant to be. Humans are fragile—their lifeline only a tiny fraction of his. Even if you were to return his silly feelings, what then? What would come of a relationship? He doesn’t understand how he could possibly be a good lover, nor could he ever even be loveable at the least. What would become of him once you leave this world? The mere thought of you dying—leaving him—scares him. He lowers his head, gripping his pen harder, staring at the puddle of ink he left on the page.

“That’s right, there’s no use pondering this matter… I’m thinking ahead of myself.” Is what he thought.

Every single day, he reassured himself. If he was the only one that was affected because of his unrequited feelings, then that’s fine by him. He could bear it. So why does he still feel this crushing feeling on his soul—his very being? After all, there’s no chance you could even begin to love someone like him. Someone as awkward, unfeeling as him? There’s no possible way.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine how someone like you could ever—!

No, forget it. Self-deprecating thoughts aren’t any good for him.

“Don’t always think so low of yourself, yeah? It doesn’t do any good.” That’s something you told him. Something you told him.

***

Something you told him. Yet another month had passed, this time, things were drastically different.

Why did you have to make things so hard for him? You could have just kept it to yourself, like he had. So why? Why did you tell him how you felt?

It poured harder than ever before when he saw the look of complete and utter disappointment on your face when he said the words he did. He didn’t think he’d ever feel such despair, but he did.

“It’s okay.” You smiled, pursing your lips.

No, it wasn’t okay. How could any of this ever be okay? He didn’t understand anything, nothing at all.

After all, Neuvillette is far from being ‘human.’

[randy-inks-writing-blog]

Two Cannibals go to a café ( Alastor x GN Reader Platonic )

—————————————

Some things I wanted to say. First I want to get some feedback on this. Second it’s in second pov so there’s so many yous. Tell me what you think about this one-shot!

—————————————

You sat down in your normal spot in the center point of cannibal town. Every Monday you wait at that bench, waiting for the one and only Alastor, the radio demon. Unfortunately for you for seven years, Alastor hasn’t shown up. Many of the citizen of cannibal town took pity on you, thinking Alastor abandon you or your dear friend had died. You still had hope that he would show up. You owe it to him. He helped put your business on the map, only took a little deal, not for your soul, but for some of the meat you sell. You look down at your hands on your lap. You were more of a monster than a demon. Some closer to you call you the lover of Frankenstein, knowing the book well you always remind everyone that it would be the lover of Frankenstein’s monster and not the doctor himself. Now wondering if all of this was a fruitless endeavor, you heard clink-clink-clink, you now associate with Alastor’s hooves. Looking up, you were met with the one and only Alastor. Smiling wide, you ran up to the deer man and gave him a hug, almost toppling the both of you. He hugs back and laughs and says with his signature smile, “It’s good to see you again (y/n). Say how about we go to a café together, me and you?”

You nod your head and the two of you went off to Alastor’ favorite café. As the two walked through cannibal town, you talked about the business and how your life is going. Alastor, open the door for you. You enter the café and wave to the owner, Alastor, entered after you and gave the owner a curt nod. You walked up to the owner and ordered your usual, Alastor looked at the menu in shock at how much it changed over the last seven years. Alastor thought for a moment before getting what you got. “Ok then, that would be out in a few minutes.” Said the owner, who walked away to make the drinks and food. You and Alastor sat down with the radio demon, looking confused. Before Alastor could ask, you answered him. “Oh right, I didn’t get the chance to say it, but I landed a deal with the shop and now I’m the only food provider at this café. I got free food because of the deal. All thanks to you.” Alastor chuckles and says with happiness, “I’m glad it worked out for you. No need to thank me though I saw your potential in you, and you cut the meats are perfect.” You blush at Alastor’s prizes, rarely have you given been giving it. “Well, we have been trying methods if you like to see them.” The owner of the small café place down yours and Alastor’s drinks and food. You sip on your blood tea with a finger and eyeball as Alastor shakes his head no and with a mellow tone says, “I would love, but I’m currently help the princess of hell with a hotel.” You till your head, Alastor having your full attention. “The princess of hell? Charlie Morningstar? What the hell are you doing in a hotel? Is that where you been in the past seven years?” You asked wanting to know more, Alastor answered all your questions. “She is trying to rehabilitate sinners. You know she reminds me of you when we first met years ago. Maybe you should come by one time.” You look down at the floor unsure what to say. First, he didn’t even answer why he’s gone, second the idea of rehabilitation sinners sounds next to impossible. You’re unsure what to say to your dear friend Alastor the radio demon.

—————————————

[bengiyo]

I can say with confidence that our collective favorite show, between you and me, is What Did You Eat Yesterday?, the GOAT BL, and an exemplary example of a slice of life drama. What are your other favorite slice of life dramas, BLs and non-BLs?

Thank you for this ask. I have been trying to stay out of a bunch of discussions about this, but it seems that people feel really strongly about how people talk about a mid-tier BL produced by the largest producer of BL content in the world, currently sold as a premium product exclusively on a Chinese streaming platform, and currently receiving almost universal acclaim from its viewership on this platform. So, since I am possibly the only person who has posted publicly how much this show doesn’t work for me, I will continue with my task and clear up some confusion I’m having with the discourse.

We Are…Struggling With Definitions

Thankfully, @lurkingshan provided a good framework to discuss what slice-of-life even means. While I am willing to accept that a strong episodic structure is not inherently required for a good slice-of-life drama, the bite-sized nature of an episode lends itself to enabling clear stories about the complexities of mundane human existence. It’s a very popular genre, especially in anime. As I said in an earlier post, this is a mature genre with a long tradition.

Most of my favorite approaches to slice-of-life are from Japan. When America does slice-of-life, you get it more as sitcoms than thoughtful dramas about everyday life. One of my favorites would probably be Midnight Diner. As Shan defined before, a good slice-of-life drama could go on forever, and in so many ways Midnight Diner has. 

I’m actually currently watching Three Star Bar in Nishi Ogikubo because Machida Keita and Fujiwara Kisetsu are in it.

We Are…Already Familiar With Slice of Life QL

We’ve actually had a few QL projects cover the slice-of-life feeling before.

You and I are both big fans of What Did You Eat Yesterday?, a show I loved so much we had to do a whole podcast episode about it.

On the lesbian side of the equation, we have the lovely She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat.

We also had Naked Dining, which I had some mixed feelings about.

There's the gay dads drama from Taiwan in Papa & Daddy.

For people who seem to struggle with non-Thai productions, there’s also Ingredients with everyone’s favorite singer Jeff Satur.

Besides, I argue firmly that Tadaima, Okaeri is the only true slice-of-life BL airing right now. It’s the married gay dads show we’ve been asking forever to get, and it’s even in the omegaverse!

We Are…Possibly Suffering From Recency Bias

It’s surprising for me how hard everyone has fallen for this show, considering the long history of reactions to New Siwaj’s work. He’s been in the genre for over a decade.

I am intimately familiar with this man’s work, and have been a Make It Right Apologist for years. I’ve been with this man since I got into the genre. This isn’t even his first attempt at 16 episodes about boys in college.

Everyone else watched My Engineer at the time, but I watched EN of Love and was not surprised when Love Mechanics got its own full series afterwards. I’ve been with this man working through gay angst in Make it Right, examining intergenerational queer trauma in Until We Meet Again,  fumbling through Between Us, trying for something in Dear Doctor I’m Coming For Soul, hustling in Even Sun, still crying with him over Love of Siam (2007) in My Only 12%, and squandering everyone’s time in Absolute Zero. 

It’s kinda baffling to me that I’m catching strays over not liking New Siwaj works in 2024. It feels weird that the show I’m getting heat over not liking is the least-queer thing I think he’s ever made. I don’t know what that says about current BL tastes. I will say this plainly every time: Queer Truth is Non-Negotiable For Me In a Genre About Boys Kissing Each Other. If that statement bothers you, please swerve on.

We Are…Not the Only Examples of Queer Fun

While we’re here, I wanna talk about how there really is a whole gay world outside of BL. I feel very strongly that Western viewers are extremely rude and often racist when it comes to their disdain of BL. However, there is all kinds of fun to be had in queer cinema if you can handle projects made more than a few years ago. 

If you want silly fun, you can always go to TLA Releasing. They funded an entire gay parody of the American Pie franchise. They’re great for the types who want to see pretty people smile at each other and have sexy times. 

If you’re in the mood for something a bit more serious and heartfelt, you can dip by Strand Releasing. They have one of the best coming-of-age queer films I’ve ever seen. They also picked up a really melancholy Japanese film called Egoist. 

My favorite studio, who shows up repeatedly on my BL Syllabus is Wolfe Releasing. They have my all-time favorite Big Eden (2000), and many others. 

My point is that there is a huge world of queer media out there well beyond the latest mid-tier BL from GMMTV designed to keep the boys working. We also don’t need to argue that some of their shows are more queer than they actually are, especially when Cooking Crush is right there.

Thanks for the ask!

[thedreamwraptwriter]

Companions Don't Take Sick Days!

Tenth Doctor x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1046

Warnings: none.

Note: [Y/N] = Your Name

A soft humming awoke me from my deep sleep – the comforting sound of the Tardis was a daily occurrence for me now and I couldn’t help but want to snuggle back into bed. The past few days had been hectic; the Doctor had whisked me all around the universe, bouncing between times, and saving worlds. I loved being by his side but sometimes it felt as though he had endless amounts of energy and I, being human, felt as though I’d missed out on a few (hundred) cups of caffeine with the way I was feeling. 

“Ergh,” I grumbled aloud, pushing myself groggily out of the warm comforter. The room I stayed in was lit by a soft, warm glow, pulsing along the walls. Squinting, I stumbled toward the door, eyes still adjusting to the lack of light around me. With a push, I opened the door of my room and poked my head out into the main control area. The Doctor was sitting by the console, staring intensely at it with a furrowed brow. His eyes darted back and forth, as though reading something at high speed, and I noticed his leg bouncing with energy. Whatever was making him look like that I wasn’t ready to face and quickly began to withdraw back into my ro-

“Y/N!” 

I groaned. Caught.

“Yes Doctor?” I said, voice scratchier than I expected.

He came bounding over to me, trench coat swishing behind him like a majestic bat.

“Dear me, you look terrible,” he said, gently grabbing my face with his hands and looking me over. “You feeling alright?”

I batted his hands away, embarrassed. “We’ve been going nonstop, I think I’m allowed to look a little worse for wear,” I shot back, crossing my arms. “Besides, I’m up now. What’s on the roster for today?”

The Doctor looked at me sternly, his brown eyes drilling into my soul. I hated it when he looked at me like this – it felt as though he could read my mind.

“I can,” he said cheekily, and I felt my entire body heat. “Just kidding – I think I the psychic link bracelets effects are finally wearing off.” 

He raised his arm up and jingled the small silver bracelet on his wrist. I groaned, feeling the matching bracelet heavy on my arm. I’d forgotten about those. Alien tech really was something. They’d proven useful in our last adventure, but I was so tired I’d forgotten to remove mine. I hurriedly pulled mine off just in case it broadcasted anything else out to him.

“However, I do not need one of those to see that you are obviously looking really terrible,” said the Doctor, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you go back and lay down?”

I shook his hand off my shoulder, ignoring the pulsing in the back of my head. “Now Doctor, I don’t think that will be necessary. I saw you looking – peeved, at the console so why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

The Doctor crossed his arms, looked over his shoulder at the control room, and back at me. 

“No.”

I blinked. “Sorry, what?” 

He sighed. “You are not doing anything today. You are taking a sick day.”

“Companions don’t take sick days!” I exclaimed. “This is ridiculous. I’m not even sick.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. Whipping out his sonic screwdriver, he rapidly scanned me.

“Elevated temperature, increased mucous secretions, and a high white blood cell count. Pardon me, Y/N, but I think that would indicate that you are, in fact, ill,” he said, smiling triumphantly. “I’m putting you back to bed.”

Before I could argue, the Doctor scooped me up his arms and strode back into my room. My heart rate spiked and the dizziness I was feeling earlier increased tenfold. What a cunning man. 

“That’s better, isn’t it,” the Doctor said cheerfully as he fluffed my pillows and tucked me tightly into bed. “The color is coming back to your cheeks already.”

I turned away from him – the flush in my cheeks was due to something else. 

“I suppose,” I mumbled. “But Doctor, what if you need help?”

The Doctor grinned. “I do have other friends in the Universe, you know. Lots of people owe me a favor or two. Though, I have to admit, you are my favorite.” 

He winked at me. “Now then, what else can I do to help you feel better? Ah yes.”

With a flurry, he ran out of my room. I heard dishes clanging, the Tardis beeping, and some other odd noises echoing about before he came striding back in, balancing a tray of food in one hand and a cold compress in the other. 

“There we are,” he said, carefully placing the tray on my lap and laying the cold compress on my forehead. As much as I wanted to hate his fussing, I found it to be extremely charming (and the cold compress felt quite nice).

I stared at the tray of soup and bread with some confusion. “You were only gone for a few minutes; where did you get this? I know you can’t cook.”

The Doctor chuckled. “I did a quick stop by your hometown – I know what you like! Give me some credit, Y/N.” 

I smiled. The Doctor was incredibly thoughtful and he listened more than I thought he did. “I’m being spoiled today, it seems,” I said.

He grinned. “Right then - open up now, Y/N!” he said, picking up some soup and holding the spoon towards me expectantly.

Immediately, my entire body burned with embarrassment. “W-wait a second I can feed myself!”

I went to grab the spoon, but the Doctor smoothly grabbed my wrist and laid it back down on the sheets. His warm hand enveloped mine and it felt as though time and space stood still. 

“Y/N, please let me take care of you,” he said softly. I looked into his soft brown eyes, my pulse fluttering. We were so close we could have-

“Yes, sorry,” I murmured, tearing my eyes away from his and allowed the Doctor to care for me. He was so gentle, his touch left fire on my skin, but I did my best to ignore it. He was the loneliest man in the universe, and he wanted to keep it that way…but some days, it seemed to me, he’d rather be anything else. 

___

Author’s Note: I’m sick as a dog right now and was watching some Doctor Who to pass the time – decided I might as well write a classic sickfic with some nice fluff. Somehow, though, I managed to make it sad at the very end. Sorry : D

[absolutebl]

10 BLs That Are Not About Coming Out

Also... doesn’t really even have a coming out sequence. 

Ready? 

1. Kinky mafia dudes (KinnPorsche) 

2. Cinderfella crossdressing historical romance (Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding)

3. Grim reaper falls in love with a doctor (Dear Doctor I’m Coming For Your Soul) 

4. I’m not gonna explain, just watch Color Rush (Viki) 

5. Catfishing assassins on opposite sides of a turf war (Long Time No See Gaga) 

6. Time travel romance might be poly (Tinted With You Viki) 

7. Boys shack up with ghosts and each other (Ghost Host, Ghost House YouTube) 

8. Mafia + doctor team up to investigate MURDER, have lots of hot sex (Manner of Death) 

9. Gang of anarchists takes on corruption + identical twins (Not Me YouTube) 

10. Doctor vs time via seduction (Triage)

More but might not be quite BL or end happily: 

Smart boy in love with zombie incubus, keeps him alive with sex (Eternal Yesterday Gaga & Viki)

Man in poly relationship with reincarnated pets (Choco Milk Shake - YouTube)

Dystopian gay Dexter meets Judge Dread (Devil Judge Viki) 

Polycule murders bad guy goes on run from mafia assassins (3 Will Be Free YouTube)

Bodyswap goes on a road trip (Cupid’s Last Wish YouTube)

Bodyswap goes to boarding school (Great Men Academy)

Boys ARE ghosts, still kissing (Peach of Time Viki & Something In My Room YouTube) 

Very little Korean BL (because it exists in that alt-reality bubble) has coming out sequences. Most Thai BL, because it is set in high school and college and around friends/family does contain it. Here’s my:

BEST Coming Out Sequences in BL 

(source)

[asteronomical]

RTRN Canon Compliant Snippet where they have a small talk before Penacony

“You’ve grown complacent, doctor, if all it takes for you to go behind the IPC’s back is a vague request from a Stoneheart.”

“That is not complacency. It is choice.”

“Well, isn’t that a little careless?” Aventurine huffs and looks away, absentmindedly tracing the rim of the forgotten shot glass in between them. “What, when Topaz comes knocking at your door in the middle of the night, you’ll drop everything to assist her in her plight?”

“No.” Ratio says easily. All too easily, all too quickly, and giving away just a bit too much. “Of course not.”

Those striking eyes look up at him, flashing with an unreadable glint. He feels like his very soul is being picked apart, like the fundamental machinations of his being are being tinkered with. “Then?”

“I accepted your request because it was you who needed my help. Not the IPC, not the ten Stonehearts, but you, Aventurine.” He pointedly looks away, as if he hadn’t laid his heart bare on the granite countertop just in front of them. “Is that so hard to fathom?”

“Perhaps.”

“It shouldn’t be. For you, I have done far more for far less.”

Aventurine scoffs. “What do you have to gain here, then? You know as well as I that I cannot promise you anything.”

“You can, my dear gambler." Ratio insists. "Your safety, for one. Your life and its continued existence, for another.”

“My sincerest apologies, doctor. I’m afraid that not even that is set in stone.”

“On whose terms? Yours, or the IPC?”

“Are those not one and the same? I am but an asset. My life is but a debt to be repaid in full.”

[mystic-ang3l]

I love bg3 and stardew! I'd love to hear/read your interpretation of some of the characters meeting eachother! (Ex: Harvey and Gale, will and Elliot, karlach and Abigail)

thank you for the request :p i LOVE this idea

these are just little blurbs of the characters meeting each other and how that would go. i chose the pairings the way i did bc i felt like they made the most sense... if you want more let me know, enjoy!!

When Harvey and Halsin met..

Harvey was initially intimidated by Halsin.

Was confused by this large mass of a man entering his clinic.

They introduced and conversated with one another, seemingly getting along.

“So you’re a doctor? How interesting… I am also a healer of sorts. As a Druid, I was gifted my powers from Silvanus, as I now protect and care for his creations, whether that be animals in the forest, or fellow companions.”

Harvey kind of stares at him for a second.

As Halsin talks about his god-given power and healing abilities, Harvey can’t help but get a bit jealous.

Why was he gifted such healing powers? He didn't have to go to medical school for years, and take all of the god forsaken exams. 

“Yeah, well I went to medical school for many years. I had to learn how to help people, and I believe in the ability to use modern medicine to help my patients. I’m not too sure about your powers, but I believe that my method of healing works as well.”

Harvey spoke more passive aggressive than he liked, realizing that his jealousy was obvious.

“Pardon me… I tend to get a bit worked up when it comes to my profession. Your gift is amazing, I wish it had been that easy for me.”

Halsin registers that maybe he was gloating too much.

The last thing he wanted to do was offend anyone, especially not someone he just met, that was similar to him.

“I apologize dearly for my accidental gloating… I had no intention of discrediting your profession. I think the way that you’re able to heal people is nothing short of astounding. I know that it’s a privilege to help others and that feeling is… unlike any other.”

Harvey lets out a sigh of understanding and feels a bit better after their miscommunication is resolved.

As no patients entered the clinic, they continued to talk amongst themselves about medicine and healing, something they both are knowledgeable of.

Once it was 3:00 P.M. and the clinic was closed, they both said their farewells.

“I’ll return again in the near future. Farewell, Harvey.”

Harvey returns the goodbye, smiling as he thinks about the return of his new healer of a friend.

When Haley and Astarion met...

Astarion was walking through the small town of Stardew, observing the area.

He walks up to a wooden board with several different flyers posted.

Some are looking for certain foods, others looking for minerals and such.

But, there was one flyer that caught his eye. It was very colorful, and definitely pink.

“IN NEED OF SOMEONE TO GIVE A MAKEOVER!! I NEED EXPERIENCE FOR MY COSMETOLOGY LICENSE. SRS INQUIRIES ONLY!”

Astarion was a bit… intrigued by this.

Why? He would never let some girl use him for makeup… right?

As he’s deep in thought, a high-pitched voice from behind him made him jump a bit.

He turns around to see a short, teenage blonde girl. She had a huge smile plastered on her face, he was kind of scared.

“Hey mister, I saw you looking at my flyer! Are you interested?”

Astarion scoffs at her.

“Absolutely not.”

Haley looks a bit defeated, but something tells her she can convince him.

“Come on! I saw you looking at it for, like, 5 minutes! It won’t take long, I just need to do one makeover for my class and I can get my license. Pretty please?”

Astarion looks at her, raising his eyebrow. He never thought he’d be in a predicament like this, and he also never thought he’d be looking forward to something like this… but he’d never admit it to a soul.

“As long as you don’t make me look like a clown, dear, I guess I can fulfill your request.”

Haley jumps up and down, squealing.

Without a chance to think, Haley grabs Astarion’s hand and drags him to her house.

She seats him at her vanity, as she sets up all kinds of things. Makeup, hair tools, everything you could think of.

Astarion looks at all of this, and raises his eyebrow.

“I thought you said this wouldn't take long?”

Haley looks at him, a playful smile on her face. 

“It wont be long! Maybe like, an hour or two…”

Astarion sighs as he realizes what he’s got himself into. Although, he’s a bit excited for what the result will be.

As Astarion gets more comfortable, he also begins to talk more.

Especially when Haley starts to gossip about her neighbors.

“Yeah, there’s a boy that lives in that house named Sam, I think he totally might have a thing for me. I see him looking at me through the window sometimes. Oh! And he has this friend named Sebastian, and he’s so emo, it’s kind of scary…”

Astarion listens to her gossip, being slightly amused by it. 

He even chimes in from time to time.

After what feels like forever, Haley is finished with the makeover.

Astarion looks in the mirror, a bit taken aback by how… good he looks?

Deep down, he loves it. He loves the way the makeup looks, and how she puffed his hair up.

“So… what do you think?”

Astarion looks at her, trying to hide his excitement.

“It’s okay, a bit chalky but it’s plenty adequate.”

Haley scoffs, as Astarion laughs. 

Afterwards, Haley makes them tea as they sit at the table, continuing to gossip about the whole town.

When Maru and Gale met...

Maru was excited when Gale showed up in her mom’s carpentry shop.

She looked at him from afar, noticing his purple robe. Was he an actual wizard? With actual powers?

As Gale is talking to Robin, Maru comes around the corner and walks up to him.

“Hi! I’m Maru, I’m her daughter”

Gale looks at her, shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Maru. Your mother was just telling me about how much you like science.”

Maru looks at Robin, making a face as she hates the fact that she was talking about her.

“Yeah, my dad’s a scientist, so I’m really into that kind of stuff. Do you want to see our lab?”

Maru speaks excitedly, realizing maybe she’s too enthusiastic. She doesn’t want to scare the (maybe) wizard off. 

“Of course, lead me there!”

Maru leads him to the small lab, where there are many scientific posters and instruments.

As they talk, Maru can’t help but wonder if he’s actually a wizard.

The possibility is killing her, and she refrains until she can’t help but ask.

“Are you a wizard? Like one who can cast spells and turn people into frogs?”

Gale is a bit taken aback by her sudden question, but then laughs a bit at her enthusiasm.

“Well, yes… you can call me a wizard. I have the powers to cast spells and such… and it is possible for me to turn people into frogs, though I don’t usually have reason to.”

Maru’s face lights up as so many questions pop into her head. Could he maybe show her a spell, or even teach her? Maybe he can turn her into something…

“Can you turn me into a frog? Right now?”

Gale raises his eyebrow, a bit hesitant to answer.

“Technically, it is possible… but what if someone like your mother sees? I don’t want people to dislike me already, for potentially turning their daughter into a frog.”

Maru is a bit disappointed. She pleads to the wizard, hoping he would listen.

“Please please please! I promise I won’t tell a soul! I just want you to turn me into a frog, and then you can turn me back into a human after. It would be revolutionary!” 

Gale takes a quick look around the room, before he sighs and looks back at Maru.

“Fine… but very quickly. Do not tell a soul about this.”

Maru nods as she stands in front of Gale.

As he focuses on her, a green colored hue appears around him as reaches a hand out towards her.

The next thing he knows, there is a small frog on the floor.

He crouches down to the little frog.

“There, you are now a small little frog. Can I change you back now?”

Gale is answered with a croak.

He stands back up, and as he begins the spell to make Maru human again, Robin walks in.

“Have you seen Maru recently? I can’t find her.”

Gale looks at her, eyes widening as he tries to contain himself.

“N-no, I haven’t seen her.”

Robin nods her head, and looks around. She spots the frog on the ground.

She approaches it and picks it up.

“Well hello little frog… you must be one of the frogs that keeps escaping from Sebastian’s room… I’ll go put you back.”

Gale’s heart drops to his stomach. He decides he has to tell her that the frog is Maru.

“Wait! That isn’t a regular frog. That may or may not be… your daughter?”

He speaks, his voice slightly high-pitched as he prays she won’t scream at him.

Robin’s jaw drops, as she looks at him angrily.

It seems like Gale has a lot of explaining to do, and a spell to cast after Robin finishes scolding him.

[magiccath]

Doctor Who (Taylor's Version)

The Doctors (9-14) as Taylor Swift albums, songs, and lyrics

9: reputation

Dark and brooding on the surface, but really just a big softie. 9 looks like a meanie, but he’s actually one of the softest Doctors.

Simultaneously LWYMD, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, and End Game. 

“I’m sorry, the old Doctor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh! Cause he’s dead!” 

“For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities. I've made mistakes, and made some choices that's hard to deny” 

“Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy. I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

“And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for. King of my heart, body and soul”

10: Speak Now

Dreamly, love-struck, and fairy-tale like. 10 is a lover and romantic first and foremost. But also, he definitely gets breakup songs written about him…

Timeless, Electric Touch, Enchanted, Our Song, and Dear John

“And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other. In another life, you still would've turned my head” 

“All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life. Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life”

“I've been left in the rain lost and pining. I'm tryin' hard not to look like I'm trying ‘cause every time I tried hard for love, it fell apart”

“I was enchanted to meet you” 

11: Lover

Bright, bubbly, and happy. But oh wait! Anxiety! Crippling self doubt!

Cruel Summer, Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince, Paper Rings, False God, Afterglow.

“And I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate”

“He looks up grinning like a devil”

“It's you and me, that's my whole world”

“You play stupid games you win stupid prizes” 

“I lived like an island, punished you with silence”

“It’s all me in my head”

12: Midnights

Older, but not always wiser. We’ve learned a few life lessons and grown, but we’re still the same sad anxious ball we used to be.

Anti-hero, You’re on Your Own, Kid, Vigilante Sh*t, and Dear Reader

“I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser”

“I’m a monster on the hill. Too big to hang out, slowly lurching towards your favoratie city”

“It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me”

“I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this”

“Lately I've been dressing for revenge”

“If it feels like a trap, you're already in one”

“Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart” 

13: 1989

It’s time to have some fun with our friends and enjoy life! Except, we’re still sad? I

Know Places, Say Don’t Go, Wonderland, Clean, and Bad Blood

“I know places we can hide”

“I would stay forever if you say, "don't go" But you won't”

“You held on tight to me 'cause nothing's as it seems”

“When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe and by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean”

“You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go”

“Was it over then? And is it over now?”

14: folklore

Just a lonely little bean who has a lot of feelings. After numerous regenerations, the Doctor finally shows some emotional vulnerability!

The 1, cardigain, my tears ricochet, this is me trying, epiphany, and peace. 

“I had this dream you’re doing cool sh*t, having adventures on your own” 

“But we were something, don't you think so?”

“You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin'”

“Tried to change the ending…” 

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave”

“I just wanted you to know that this is me trying”

“Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?” 

[pavedinashes-if]

I was so excited to start reading, you don’t even know!!!! It felt so short and I’m so sad that it ended so fast because I want MORE 👹👹 but that’s why I’m going to reread it over and over until I’ve had my fill.

I love love love everything you have so far. The social media section in the stats page is so fucking fun. I can already tell I’m going to spend all my time reading what everyone posted and rereading what I commented.

I also love LOVE that we have sections for our vices and unique charms displayed for us. I’m so excited to have more than one vice lol. These small things really help create a unique MC and it just has me so gosh darn excited. I think that’s one thing you’re doing amazing at—creating a personalized main character. 🥰🥰

I really don’t like my step mommy so far. 🦧 She seems like the type of person my MC would absolutely HATE so I’m ready for the drama and the chaos and the pain and the suffering.

And am I sad that I didn’t meet my favorite doctor yet? Yes, yes I am. But it’s all good because I got to flirt it up with this mysterious red head. 🫦

You did amazing and I’m so happy that you dropped your demo!!!!! WOOO!!!! You are my idol. 😘😘

And also:

“A short while later you've made it through customs without any trouble.”

As someone who’s not from the EU, I had to laugh.

I loved your message. Sugar for my soul, thank you very much! To be honest I was really excited to read your message, cause, duh, you know I am a fan of yours. Guess we got a lil thing goin here, fangirlin' over each others stuff - sign me up.

Means a lot that you enjoyed the lil gimmicks like the social media posts and such (which was not a lil gimmick coding wise and turned some of my hair grey as a coding noob).

I really really wanted to offer the chance to have tiny details in the customisation that make the mc feel unique, and there will be plenty of moments where stuff comes into play that you did not expect.

Random choices are not that random and might trigger a specific scene a few chapters later that you did not expect. It's the little details that I love most. Hiding them like easter eggs.

Trust me, we all laugh at the "short while later without any trouble.". That's like the only light in the demo...this and maybe our redhead ;)

Your Mc has to be a bit more patient to meet our dear Doc, but I'll make sure you'll be meeting some other ROs on the way.

Note: I have many characters and ROs overall and I will introduce them in lil groups with the updates so that it is not all too overwhelming.

Thanks again for your lovely message. Sweet on the heart and on the eye. Kassandra would approve the considerate wording and formatting. ;)

[ladykyriaa]

A KPOP (CPOP?JPOP?) Idol Jinshi X Doctor's assistant Maomao

Now on Ao3!!

how he fell (hard?)

The sound of cheers could be heard even outside the stadium. Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in the arena, all waiting for the performance of a lifetime. At least, that’s what they’ll tell their families and friends. In truth, it was probably to get a once in a lifetime chance to spectate the three dazzling shamelessly beautiful men about to perform. Celestial, just as the name suggests, is a group of three with looks that could rival even the Greek gods themselves.

Rihaku with his incredible upper body mass muscles like those of wrestlers, and yet possessed the gentle gaze and a nature that was less intimidating than that of a golden retriever. Rikuson, who had managed to captivate the girls for his “gentleman behavior” whenever he got out and about. To give an example, he once went trending over the internet for several weeks because he held open a door for a mother and child that had their hands full, and then proceeded to help them to their car. Lastly, Jinshi who had managed to not only catch the eyes of both men and women, but also those from the older generations. “He reminds me back to my younger days” is what they would say when asked while giggling and blushing like maidens in love. It was truly a sight.

the men had been together for about 4 years. Jinshi, of course has had the longest career out of all of them being that he started as a child actor. And now at 24 years old, he’s become one of, if not, the most sought-after celebrity by young men and women, their parents and even their grandparents. But of course, just because you’ve been trained from a very young age and have become basically the epitome of grace and elegance, doesn’t mean you’re not prone to accidents yourself.

How did this even happen? Jinshi questioned himself as he sat waiting in the ER. In all his 18 years of career, this was probably the biggest blunder he’d ever made. Even when he was found drunk and passed out in the park that one time couldn’t have been worse than this. No, maybe that was worse. The big boss certainly gave me enough grievances to last a lifetime. He looked at his presumably, no definitely sprained ankle and thought if he could ask for the rest of his schedules to be canceled. He deserved the break, did he not?

“Sorry for the wait.” A gentle, wispy voice called out as they entered the room. The man that entered look to be about 50-60 years old and had wrinkles all over his face, despite that he looked to be a gentle soul. “We’ll run over some tests just to make sure none of the bones are shattered. But at the very least, this is sure to be sprained. I’m afraid you’re going to have to cancel all your activities for the next month or so.” Well, Jinshi didn’t have any problems with that. He was actually quite glad with the chance of a proper break. His manager, Gaoshun, however…

“Maomao, dear. Please run some blood test for me.” It was only at that moment that he realized someone else was in the room with them. A thinly, pale freckled girl was holding a tray with what he presumed to be medical tools on it. Wait, blood test? Isn’t that-

“After you’re done you can change into the hospital gown that is provided. Someone will come and get you soon.” The Doctor said and promptly left the room. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the word blood test. Was it truly necessary though? Jinshi didn’t quite think so. In fact, “You know I can just tell you what my blood type is, we don’t have to run a blood test.” he gave his best smile that usually was able to get people, no matter who, the things he wanted. He was expecting some swooning, maybe a bit of giggling and blush. Disgust, however.

That was the farthest thing from his mind.

Huh? Why isn’t it working.

The girl, Maomao, looked at him like he was the lowest of low, worse than a caterpillar itself. In fact, Jinshi thought, she might look at a caterpillar with more fondness than she did at him because why isn’t it working?? She managed to school her expression into a flat one before he could voice out his indignancies, however.

“You know that’s not how it works” she said, unimpressed. “Now, your arm please.”

“Can’t we just skip this whole part? I think this is quite unnecessary, don’t you?” Jinshi was not one to give up, and so he’ll keep trying however many times he could. No one could ever resist his inhuman beauty. No one. And so, he smiled. The brightest and sweetest one he could.

The girl did not budge. Not an inch. Nada. Instead, she raised an eyebrow, “sir, are you terrified of needles by chance?”

He can feel his smile stuck in place. “Whatever made you think that?” keep smiling, keep smiling, just keep smiling. “Surely you don’t think, I, a 24-year-old man, am scared of a mere silver, do you?” just. keep. Smiling.

She shrugged, “You may be surprised, but it’s actually quite common. Depending on the severance of those fears, one might even try and ­­jump out the window.” She said with such nonchalance you would think she’s talking about the weather. Jinshi was honestly tempted to try. “Hm. How peculiar.” He kept his eyes on the window. He thought she may have noticed because she walked towards it and closed it.

“You know, you look quite familiar. And that’s saying something because I don’t even remember the faces of my colleagues two months into the job.” Mouth agape, He nearly scoffed.

 familiar? does being 18 years on tv only got him to the point of familiarity??

This is outrageous. Did their marketing team have not done enough?

He was sure if he were to ask the girl’s grandma wherever-she-may-be about who he was, then he was sure even she would’ve given a better answer than “you look familiar.”

It would’ve been better if the girl hadn’t known of him at all because hey, maybe she grew up without the internet because there is no way in hell he could’ve looked just familiar. That would imply that she didn’t even bother to pay attention.

“You’re all done.” What?

 “What?” he blinked out of his musings, only to realize she was already packing her tools except the hospital gown that was left for him.

“You’re done. I’ve gotten the sample.” Done? He looked down at his arm and sure enough there was a small bandage covering the part where he supposedly got injected. “Make sure to change into the hospital gown. Or do you perhaps need help?” She can not be serious. He could feel his face burning and judging by the disgust look that appeared on her face, seriously what is up with that. Maybe she took notice. “I can bring your bodyguard in.”

“No, no. I uh, I can do it myself” seemingly satisfied, she began to leave the room.

“Wait!” The girl stopped and raised an eyebrow. “Did uh, was your question only to distract me? From the injection that is. Was it a genuine question?” she seemed to ponder for a minute, thinking of the best way to answer him.

“Well, yes and no, I suppose. But it did work on you, didn’t it Mr. Jinshi?” and then without further ado, she left.

And maybe she took something else with her along the way, Jinshi mused to himself.

.

.

I AM CACKLING. THIS HUNK OF A MF. started because i cant stop imagining modern au jinshi as a kpop idol wtf.

Guys you dont understand i have AN EXAM ASSIGNMENT DUE TOMORROW. I've nEVER EVEN WRITTEN A FIC BEFORE. ALL MY LIFE. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

oh my god this obsession has got to stop im being so serious rn

whoever came across this sorry excuse of a story i am so sorry but i wrote this in one sitting, literally no draft no thing. nada. I just wanted to get this out of my chest

finally i can continue my assignments. i think. hopefully.

[takeyourcyanide]

Too Much

(Soul Eater Fanfiction)

My Ao3: takeyourdailydoseofcyanide

Summary: Spirit and Marie pester Stein into going to a party. Stein gets drunk, and shenanigans ensue.

Word count: 4 009

Note: Only parts of this have been proofread. I really need to start switching my shit up. It seems one note. I’ve some other ideas for them, I suppose.

……

“Stein? Stein!”

Lithe and petite fingers snapped loudly in front of Stein’s distracted face. His memory of whatever conversation had taken place at the round cafeteria table was nothing but a blur, as he had seemingly dissociated for its entire duration.

“Huh?” He hummed in acknowledgment, whipping his head around in order to face the snapper in question; Marie.

“You should really come to the party with us,” the blonde suggested with a bright smile. Stein wondered silently to himself what she was so happy about.

“Yeah, I think it would be good for you. You don’t really get out much,” Spirit chimed in, despite his opinion on Stein’s social life being entirely unwanted. “You’re always alone. Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“No, not really,” he responded with an unchanging expression, wishing to God that people would stop commenting about him being supposedly “withdrawn.” It wasn’t unusual to him. That’s simply how things always were. That’s how he preferred it.

“Not really? Then it does sometimes?” The redhead continued to pester his meister. He was starting to sound like every single psychologist, or Doctor Status Quo, on the planet.

Stein shrugged his slumped shoulders, yawning, “I don’t think so.”

“Still… Have you ever been to a party?” Marie asked with a glint of curiosity shining in her eyes, staring intently at the male before her.

“No.”

Marie, always the expressive type, gasped. “You should totally go, then!”

“Wait a second… What party are you even taking about?” Stein finally questioned, completely and utterly lost.

“Oh.. There’s this party being thrown by some of the seniors here. It’s, like, some sort of graduation party, I think” she explained.

“Is it going to be loud?” His exhausted eyes narrowed at such a prospect.

“Well, it’s a party, so yeah, probably,” Spirit crossed his arms, snickering.

“Then I don’t want to go,” he declared, slinking lazily further down in his chair. “You’ll have to drag me there kicking and screaming.”

“Oh, come on, Stein,” Marie whined in complaint, her former grin morphing quickly into a childish pout.

“I’m with them, but only because I really want to see how this goes,” Sid chuckled with mirth, smirking teasingly at him.

Stein gave the meister a side-eye, shoving his hands inside of his pockets and fiddling with their inseams.

“Can’t you think of it like an opportunity to observe human behavior or some shit? You know we’re gonna bug you about this until you do it,” Spirit tucked his crimson hair behind his right ear. It appeared to be rather soft and silky, which did not surprise Stein in the slightest, given the weapon’s extensive self-care routines.

“You only want me to go because you think it’d be funny.”

“Well, come on, Stein, you have to admit that it would be rather amusing seeing you at such an event,” Azusa said, adjusting the position of her glasses on the bridge of her nose with her pointer finger.

“Well, yeah, but still,” Stein chuckled, removing his hands from his pockets, crossing them over his chest.

A deep sigh dripping with dread racked Stein’s frame, as he moved to sit more properly upright.

“Fine. I’ll go. Now leave me the hell alone already,” he ordered exasperatedly, his monotone voice possessing a hint of playfulness.

“Fine, fine,” Spirit flew his hands up as a makeshift white flag of sorts - a symbol, a gesture of peace.

……

Stein wished he had some noise-cancelling headphones on his person as he felt the blaring music reverberate through the floorboards, crawling upwards through his feet. He was standing in some dingy corner, holding onto a flimsy, red solo cup filled with vodka for Marie, of whom was taking her dear sweet time in the bathroom.

“You here all alone?” A girl Stein had never once laid eyes on approached him. She looked to be a little older than he was, a smirk filled with flirtatious intentions present on her rosy visage. She happened to have relatively long, light brown hair, her eyes of a similar color. Her tan hand was placed on her hips as she leaned closer towards the internally grimacing Stein.

“No, I’m with a few of my friends,” he replied, having to raise his voice simply to be heard over the music.

The girl nodded her head, scanning the room. “That yours?” She asked, pointing at the cup in his hand.

“No, my friend’s in the bathroom, so I’m just holding onto it,” Stein lifted his hand, bringing it back down again.

“How about I get you a drink?” Her smirk grew even larger. She looked him up and down with a sparkle in her eyes that made Stein simultaneously uncomfortable and a little bit intrigued. How far would this girl, of whom he didn’t even know the name of, attempt to take this?

“What are you going to do, drug me?” Stein asked with a lighthearted chuckle. He knew if he grinned a little, then she’d take it as a joke and not immediately view him as being supposedly paranoid.

“Of course not, silly,” she laughed heartily. “Don’t you want to have a little fun?”

“And what exactly do you mean by ‘fun’?” Stein furrowed his eyebrows in response, a questioning look on his face. She began giggling rather playfully. It repulsed Stein for some unknown reason, forcing him to dig his nails into the palm of his empty hand in an effort to deter himself from ripping her lustful face off. If he was allowed to be viewed as a sack of meat to everyone else, then he should surely be allowed to view everyone as a test subject.

“Thank you, Stein!” Perfect timing. Marie trotted joyfully over, fetching her drink from out of his hand. “Sorry I took so long.”

“Where were you anyway? I thought you were just going to the bathroom?” The brunette beside him pouted, her previously flirty face contorting into one of annoyance and envy.

“There was a long line. Some two idiots were fucking in there and wouldn’t get out,” she huffed, shaking her head as she elaborated.

“So, what, then, is this your girlfriend or something?” The giggling nuisance prodded, huffing and puffing like a bratty toddler.

“No?” Stein confusedly answered, looking back and forth between the two.

“Oh, yeah, who is this?” Marie gestured towards the girl.

“I honestly have no fucking clue.”

“Whatever,” she shook her head repeatedly, stomping away from Stein and Marie.

“What’s her problem?” Marie wondered after she had exited the room.

“I think she was jealous of you,” he replied.

Marie turned her head to properly face Stein, an eyebrow raised, as her body shook with amusement. “You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Well, I am. She was definitely trying to fuck me, and then you ruined it, thank god,” Stein snickered.

“Oh, but she was clearly such a catch. What’s wrong with you?” The weapon sarcastically mocked the girl, slapping her knees, as well as Stein’s shoulder.

“You better be enjoying yourself now,” Marie stuck her finger in front of his face, jokingly threatening.

“Well, not particularly. But that was kind of funny, I’ll have to admit,” he began. “I’m gonna have to tell Spirit about that.”

“Yeah, after he’s done romancing that girl over there,” she stuck her head out, along with Stein, observing Spirit’s cringeworthy behavior. He had the mystery individual pinned against one of the house’s walls, evidently whispering sweet-nothings into her ears as she blushed.

“How do those girls fall for his bullshit?” Stein chuckled in disbelief.

“God, if I know. He must pick some easy targets.”

“I think I’m gonna get some vodka of my own. That’s the only way I’m going to get through this godforsaken brothel of a party,” Marie elbowed his arm, earning a halfhearted glare in response.

“This is what most parties are like, Stein.”

“Then why do people even attend them?” She flashed him a “are you joking” look, a hand coming to meet her hip. “Yeah, that was a stupid question.”

He grabbed one of the many cheap cups available at everyone’s disposal, filling it with what was hopefully going to act as his “miracle juice.”

……

“Wha..happened t’your girl?” Stein slurred, giggling as Spirit approached him.

“Her boyfriend almost fucking killed me is what happened,” he pointed towards his bruising eye and busted lower lip. Even as fuzzy as his head felt, Stein took pleasure in Spirit’s current appearance.

“Are you drunk?” Spirit asked, rather shocked as he gave Stein a once over. His typically colorless face was flushed with a dusty pink. He was stumbling over his own feet just standing, and his speech had clearly taken a hit. The random giggling was pretty normal behavior, though, coming from Stein. And to be fair, he seemed to always have the motor skills of a fawn, being unable to walk in a straight line sober. “You reek of alcohol.”

“Yeah, ‘m drunk. Didn’ like this place, so I drank,” he smiled, latching his hands onto Spirit’s shoulders, shoving his head down into the crook of his neck. “‘M dizzy.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you are. How much did you drink?” He wrapped his arms around his abdomen, effectively keeping him from causing the both of them to topple over.

“Don’t know. A lot,” he mumbled into his shoulder.

“Oh, he drank more than a lot,” Marie walked up to the pair, finding humor in Stein’s little predicament. “He refilled that cup, like, a thousand times, man. I was with him. He would not stop drinking. He’s a better alcoholic than you, Spirit.”

Her latter comment earned a pout from Spirit, as Marie laughed at his glare.

“I’m just a stupid teenager, Marie. Drinking is normal at this age,” he grasped at straws for some sort of excuse.

“Not the way you do it, Spirit,” she teased.

“Hey, I only had one or two cups of that shit tonight,” he groaned.

“Wow, that’s crazy, congratulations!” She feigned a gasp.

“Fuck you,” Spirit laughed, shuffling Stein over just a smidge.

“I only had one myself,” Marie moved closer to the two of them, lifting Stein off of Spirit. “But you most definitely did not, so, why don’t we get you home?”

“Thank fucking God, no more torture,” Stein looked elatedly up at the ceiling, his arm flailing upward, and his pointer finger pointing in the same direction.

“He can lean against me if you want, he doesn’t weigh a whole lot,” Spirit gestured towards the limp male tilted against Marie’s side.

“You and I both know I’m physically stronger than you,” she smirked victoriously, a sense of pride evident on her face.

Spirit childishly stuck his tongue out at her, marching over to where the babbling and dazed Stein happened to be, walking right next to him as the three of them trudged out of the house.

“Where’s Sid and Joe? I thought they were coming,” Spirit curiously asked.

“Oh, they left a long time ago,” Marie responded, glancing at her small phone.

“What time is it? How long were we even there?” He crooned his head over Stein, attempting to get a good look at the time shining on the mobile screen.

“It’s 2:31, and it’s Saturday now.”

“Damn.”

“Only good thing ‘bout tha’ party was the vodka,” Stein continued to giggle, throwing his head in various different directions, as he tripped over the air.

“Be careful, Stein!” Marie exclaimed, gentle, yet stern, holding onto him tighter.

“When has he ever been careful?” Spirit snickered as he watched Stein recuperate from what was almost a fall.

“Obviously never,” she chuckled.

……

“Do you want me to stay? I can help, if you’d like,” Marie offered as they laid Stein down onto his bed, slinking him down under the covers.

“Nah, it’s late, you should go home and get some sleep, I’ve got this covered,” Spirit gave her a polite smile, further tucking the meister in as he stared up at them, giggling once again.

“You sure?” She asked, taking steps towards the front door, Spirit following behind her.

“It’s sweet of you to offer, but seriously, we’ll be fine,” he clarified, opening the door for Marie.

“Okay, then. Goodnight, Spirit,” she gave him the same polite smile in return. “Goodnight, Stein,” she said much more loudly than before, ensuring that Stein could hear her.

“Goodnight,” he nodded, waving her off.

“‘Pirit!” Stein yelled from his dimly lit room.

“Yes, Stein?” He shouted out, reentering the bedroom.

“Pirate,” he laughed, appearing as though he had a hanger in his mouth. Surely his cheeks hurt by now.

“Pirate, huh?“ He lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much,” Spirit pointed out, plopping down beside Stein on the edge of his bed.

“Y’know, I thought you put cameras or listening devices around the apartment, but now I realize it might’ve been the man,” Stein admitted, much to the confusion of Spirit. He acted relatively normal around him, as though he wasn’t overly paranoid. Well, disregarding some of his questioning and staring, but he figured he was just kidding. Or bored.

“You thought I put cameras around this place? Why? And who’s ’the man’?” He squinted his eyes, placing one of his hands on top of the grey comforter, of which was, of course, embroidered with a stitch pattern.

“Spirit,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t ask questions you know I won’t answer. I’ve already said too much.”

“Said too much?” The weapon thought aloud.

Stein’s smile disappeared, as he inched farther away from Spirit. A familiar feeling stirred within him, one of which caused his eyes to flicker about, scanning the room suspiciously. His facial expression altered between being blank and hollow, devoid of any discernible emotion, to one of almost childlike apprehension, and something akin to a childlike fear. He’d pout a little, quickly bringing his lips back to where they were supposed to be. His eyes were enlarged, his pupils growing to almost cover his irises. He threw himself upwards, sitting up and backing into the corner.

“I’ve said too much,” he huffed out in a hushed tone. “Oh, no, no, no, no.” He did not move, only gazing fervently at Spirit.

The shadows surrounding them seemed to dance and curve around him, engulfing him in their darkness. He could feel the presence of people all around him, they would never leave him be. Every noise, every feeling, everything was simply too much. He was at his brain’s mercy. Or was he simply at their mercy?

“I shouldn’t’ve said that.. I’m never getting drunk again. I knew I shouldn’t have. I always did. Not in the presence of others,” he rambled on. Spirit could practically see the little hamster wheel spinning endlessly inside of his cluttered head. Still, he was not expressing a thing Spirit could discern properly, his eyes being the only things to give away how cornered he felt.

“No, it’s fine, you didn’t say too much, I swear,” Spirit rushed out, a little panicked at how fast Stein’s mood did a full 180.

“Yes, I did! And you’re gonna tell Lord Death! You have to tell him everything! You’ll tell everyone else! And then they’ll know… Of course, they still don’t know the extent to which it goes, but.. it’s too much,” he brought his knees to his chest and his fingers to his lips, only to yank said fingers back down, seemingly at a loss for what to do.

“I’m not gonna tell anyone, I promise!” Spirit exclaimed, moving his hand outwards as some sort of peace-offering, placing it upon the boy’s knee. Stein slapped his hand from off of him, wrapping his arms around them, as though he was guarding them. Or truly, as though he was guarding himself.

He had never once seen Stein so… paranoid before. He always behaved rather confidently, and unbothered. Then again, it is certainly possible be both simultaneously.

That didn’t make it any less shocking.

“I can still fix it, probably, so it’s fine. But it won’t go away, even despite that. I can always fix it. It’s always in my favor, right? But what if that’s not true? They’re waiting, aren’t they? I’m not who I think I am, less integral,” Spirit truly had no idea what in God’s name Stein was even talking about anymore, but it was clear that Stein did, and it was clear that it was important to Stein, so he listened.

“What’s not going away?” Spirit asked, his head tilting to the side.

“Am I even making sense?” Stein chewed on the plush skin of his lips, once again bring his fingers to his lip, opting to bite on them instead.

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying,” Spirit offered his partner a white lie, figuring the truth would only cause Stein to become even more distraught than he already was.

“No, you don’t, just look at you and your face, you’re lying,” Stein pouted, rocking himself only a little bit. “What if everyone is lying? I think they are. I’m never understood, am I? Maybe I am sometimes, but when I’m not going off of my data, my script, I mess up, and I can’t explain as well…”

Stein appeared almost sad as he spoke his latter statement into existence, his eyebrows furrowing and pushing downwards on his eyes. He looked utterly miserable, and more confused than Spirit had even thought of being throughout their whole conversation.

“I said too much again.. ‘n I can never know, can I? Why ‘m I saying too much? I need to stick to nicotine.. No more cheating on it,” he allowed his head to fall against the wall behind him, his eyes filled with nothing but helplessness and longing, a glint that conveyed the fact that he couldn’t seem to accept the fact that he’d never escape the utter hell he was born into, one that revealed to Spirit how little he really knew about his meister.

“Don’t tell anyone, please,” he turned his head to face Spirit, almost begging.

“I promise I won’t,” Spirit wanted to reach out and comfort the male, but it seemed to cause such discomfort for Stein the last time he tried, leaving him to repress the urge.

“I can’t trust you,” Spirit had never seen anyone look so utterly exhausted before. He looked as thought he had just come back from a brutal war.

“That’s okay,” he smiled kindly at Stein, unsure of what else he could do.

“No, it’s not. I can’t live like the rest of you do,” he said morosely, somberly, as though it were some sort of confession. “It’ll never go away. He’ll never go away. She’ll never go away. Stupid cats won’t either.”

“What are you talking about?” Spirit questioned once more.

“It’s nothin’,” he replied plainly, cryptically.

“Do you want a glass of water or something, to, you know, offset all that alcohol?” Spirit gently offered, standing up.

“I don’t want you to leave, but I want you to leave, but I’m never alone anyway, but I can’t trust you, but it’s a distraction, but- goddamn it,” he shoved his head in his knees momentarily. “You won’t take it seriously, ‘cause you think it’s funny.”

Spirit stood still in his position, not certain of what to say or how to help him.

“Jus’ go get the water, i’s fine,” Stein said, his voice shaking slightly, almost unnoticeably.

“Are you sure? I swear it’ll be quick,” he asked for the sake of clarification. It didn’t seem like a very good idea to leave him alone for even a single second.

“Mhm,” he hummed in agreement, nodded his head against his pants.

Oh, of course, his pants! He still needed to put on sleepwear.

“Oh, and do you think you’re good to change on your own while I get that glass?” Spirit flashed him a thumbs up from the doorframe.

“Sure,” he mumbled.

……

Upon his return to Stein’s bedroom, he ran to put the water down onto the nightstand, and assist Stein with effectively getting his limbs into his comfortable clothing.

He had found him with his head going into his left sleeve, though his pants were on as they were meant to be.

Spirit approached him, laughing, helping him to shove his skull through the intended hole. Stein, however, maintained his usual unexpressive face.

“You should get back into bed and rest, and take a sip of your water, of course,” Spirit pointed towards both the bed and the glass, of which stared menacingly at Stein.

Stein peered down at the floor, observing how it waved about, moving up and down slightly as though it were breathing. Was it alive? No, it couldn’t be. That would be stupid to even suggest. But it sure felt alive… As did that conspicuously threatening glass of water.

“You good?” Spirit asked with a hint of concern, leaning the boy back to his bed.

Stein distractedly nodded his head, allowing himself to be gently lead.

Spirit pulled the blankets over the meister’s cold, shivering body. He graciously accepted the warmth.

“Are you nauseous or anything?” The ginger asked, ready to bolt off and grab some sort of bucket to place by his bed.

“Don’t even know anymore,” he responded, burning holes into his ceiling with his stare.

“I’ll go get something for you just in case.”

Stein wondered to himself why Spirit was putting up such a fuss about him. Perhaps he was attempting to earn Stein’s trust, make him believe that he cared even a little about him, only to report back every breath he took back to his savior. He’d betray him, surely. But he was always multiple steps ahead.

At he listened to the weapon rustle around in the kitchen for some sort of something, he questioned what it was like for the others he knew, what it was like to trust so easily. Or were they only faking it to lure everyone else, including Stein, into trusting them?

“Here you go,” Spirit sung as he placed the blue bucket down beside his bed. “And make sure you lay on your side,” he placed his hands onto Stein, positioning him horizontally.

Spirit let out a sympathetic sigh, lamenting the fact that he had no idea how he could really help his partner. “I’m sorry, Stein.”

“Why?”

“I can’t do anything. Can’t even comfort you,” he looked shamefully and disappointedly at his feet.

“It’s not your fault. There isn’t a thing in existence that could make me feel any better, in the end,” Stein admitted, not even sparing so much as a glance at the scythe. “It’ll never go away, will it?”

Something about that sorely depressed Spirit. Everything that was coming out of his mouth was just so hopeless.

He clenched and unclenched his fists, opening and closing his mouth, searching for the perfect words to say. But there were none.

“Well, then I’m sorry that ‘it’s won’t go away. It doesn’t sound very nice,” Spirit shrugged his sorrowful shoulders, moving stray hairs from out of his eyes.

“Me too.”

There was a smidgen of unintelligible screaming to his dead tone, to his dead eyes, and dead expression. He was dead, and yet a living jumble of chaos. It was complete agony, that much was obvious to anyone. Though, what was not obvious was what was the catalyst behind it all. And what it was truly capable of.

Spirit gave Stein a pat on the head, ruffling his silver hair in between his fingers.

He whispered a “good night” to him as he exited the room, forcing Stein to promise that if he needed anything at all, he’d wake Spirit up.

But he and Spirit both knew that he wouldn’t bother, much to Spirit’s displeasure. He’d, instead, suffer alone, away from the scrutinizing world around him. Though, in a way, he almost took more comfort in the vileness he sought to escape from than the vileness he could never escape from that was his very own mind.