#Dean Trust issues Winchester

[knotboy-dean]

It is truly crazy to me that you can see the exact moment that Dean’s view of Cas changes in 9x22.

Like imagine you’re Dean. Imagine your best friend has been continuously making questionable (and even bad) decisions and keeping them from you either to “protect” you or to keep from hurting your feelings. Imagine that you’ve begged him not to do this but he feels so genuinely that he’s right and he begs YOU to trust him, only for you to be right like you thought and for the cycle to continue. Imagine caring about him so much that you keep trying and trying to forgive him and put your faith in him, but a lifetime of trauma and disappointment keeps you from fully being able to forget.

Now imagine that guy has gone and done it again. He’s making questionable decisions and he’s not telling you about them but you’ve discovered it, and now he’s forced to explain himself and let you in on it. Imagine thinking huh, this seems too good to be true, idk about this but maybe I can help him, maybe I can be trusted enough to help do this? And then the guy’s new best friend says she doesn’t like you, you can’t be trusted, the only way to save everyone and keep their loyalty is for your guy to kill you.

In your mind you beg him not to, but deep down you know he’s never chosen you, not completely. He’s always chosen family, which you can sort of understand because you’d always put family first too. And the betrayal and hurt is so clear on your face.

But then he doesn’t. He refuses to hurt you, even if everyone is telling him that it’s the only way, even if he’ll lose their trust and support, because he’s already broken his trust with you and it’s not worth doing again. For once he trusts YOU. He chooses you.

He chooses you, and he doesn’t even say that he’s sorry.

[lambmotifz]

re: looking for examples of sam being manipulative and controlling over dean.

i think most people who have this interpretation focus a lot on sams resistance and anger directed towards johns refusal of his independence. sam is a complex and well rounded character. i think people are used to applying how a character reacts to one character as how they will react towards all characters, so they made up domsam. dean and john are both paternal figures to sam who have control over his autonomy, but sam GIVES that to dean whereas he fights john. the difference is the codependency.

in the first season sam argued with dean over him going back to stanford so i can see where they think the overlap is. sam will put up a fight but ultimately he submits to dean pretty much all of the time.

also i think they think sam telling dean that he needs him in his life is emotional manipulation. (whether it is or isnt kind of doesnt matter when you compare it to dean) sam is more in touch with his emotions so they take that as sam purposely guilting dean into doing what sam wants. and then they just ignore how actually abusive dean is towards sam. physically AND emotionally.

overall i think its selective blindness towards the characters they prefer. and i think there are a lot of people who only watched the first couple of seasons and rely too much of their interpretation on those early episodes.

YES. 100% all of this. i’ve noticed that people who think sam has more power than dean usually only care about their early seasons dynamic and apparently don’t consider anything past it as canon. sam was more independent in s1 but it doesn’t erase the fact that their dynamic changed with time and became more nuanced and power imbalanced. you can enjoy their s1 relationship without caring much about other seasons, but saying “they’re equal” or “sam is dominating” when most of your examples are from s1 is just wrong. because their post s1 relationship is very different from what they had in early s1. their post s1 (and especially s4-5) dynamic blatantly mirrors dean and john’s, with dean becoming more like john, needing more & more power/control over sam, and sam preferring to submit more & more often

[manwiththemagic]

Some of my favorite spn episodes are were it's from someone else's prospective.

Like the ghost faces ep or s8 EP4 bitten with those nerdy camera kids!!!

Because not only is the editing fun, like it's some rando docu series from the 2000's made by kids in a basement (super underground, literally), but it is that! Like it's just a bunch of kids/young adults doing stuff and learning about the supernatural for the first time!!

So of course that's very interesting and new because when spn starts off Sam and Dean already know about the world, they grew up in it. Which is good because, well the narrative, but I love seeing fresh meat.

It's like all those other books and TV shows. The nativity of watching them try and figure out a crime? Amazing. 10/10.

But also it's the outside perspective on Sam and Dean that I love. Like duh these guys show up and are all tall and intimidating, weather they're pretending to be FBI agents or just fighting ghosts. Would you trust them?? No.

Like in the episode bitten where a guy gets, well yk, his GF and best friend gotta figure out what to do. The nerdy best friend wants to be all super powered up like the guy which is important for later, but not in the perspective of Sam and dean.

These collage kids, high, get a knock on the door from the FBI agents who were investigating the dead guy that popped up and asked if someone was bitten?? One weird question, two someone WAS bitten, and three the men walk off talking about killing a Mayan god. So obviously the kids keep it to themselves and investigate these 'cops'.

Find out they *aren't* cops and are instead some kinda hunters? Who are after the thing that turned the guy. So obviously they aren't gonna trust em??

Anyways I love those episodes, it's like watching a old YouTube video put online in 2010 by a couple of dweebs who somehow found some shit. Like it reminds me of the lame older brother in 90's movies.

[batcavescolony]

S5 E5 Supernatural

I'm sorry guest star Paris Hilton?

Sam and Dean's faces at the local cops stupidity 💀💀💀. Dean geeking out over James Dean's car (but it's a fake rip). They travel around the country and didn't think to learn Spanish? I feel like that'd be helpful. Don't meet your heros I guess? I feel bad for Sam, he feels bad for releasing Lucifer. Did they have Paris Hilton make fun of celebrities? Finally some reconciliation! We're moving forward, progress!

[quietwingsinthesky]

i just loved that the writers were like mark of cain dean slowly becomes more and more barbaric and inhuman as he can’t control this primordial, gaping wound in the form of an already healed over scar that has been borne by the devil himself and is in fact what made him the devil and therefore will make dean long and lust after maiming and ultimately murdering people with an urge stronger than any love or passion or resolution he’s ever experienced in his life And Also He’s A Huge Misogynist

well. TO BE FAIR. you have just kind of described dean when he is normal also.

[wormieapple]

the one thing i will never forgive sam for is the fact that he lied through his teeth to dead kevin’s gosht that he’d get over his shit. to kevin???? poor dead kevin???? ur gunna lie to???????

[ghostcreaturetypething]

Dammit Dean as soon as anybody starts complimenting your car you just trust them immediately

[the-mpreg-guy]

@cassgirlie all good points, because it's frustrating to see a character excused by others or not admit to themselves that they've done bad things, but it's easy to love a character who does horrible things but either feels guilty or revels in it.

With the inclusion of Lebanon and the awful series finale, it really does feel like John got away with everything, and still gets his wife at the end and his kids' love. Even Bobby doesn't seen to stressed about it, and Bobby has been the number one John hater since day one. I really wish that late seasons hadn't just copypasted shit they didn't care to analyze in early seasons. It feels like the writers got lazy and forgot that Supernatural is the consequences for selfish actions family show.

Like, I will say a lot about John, but it's hard for me to picture him driving up to a child-like cosmic entity and sliding open his van to reveal the "candy" that he's picked up for her. Candy, which happens to be an innocent HUMAN family, bound and gagged and ready to be eaten. (This happened with a fandom fave btw in 11x02, long after his "human/redemption" arc.) John is "better" than many of our faves. He just happened to hurt the ones we *love.*

I am in the John Winchester hate club. I think he nuked his kids lives, I think he neglected them, I think he straight up got physical with Dean during Flagstaff, I think he was a controlling asshole who couldn’t process his grief so he took it all out on his remaining family and dragged them through the muke with him and I think that he justified it by creating a fake fantasy of what he wanted his marriage to have been.

But I’m also not part of the no nuance gang. He loved his kids, he loved his wife, and he saved a lot of people by hunting and raised his kids to put others first. I don’t think think that we should ever be playing the who did the worst things game, but I find it deeply irritating whenever someone sees a character mirror John’s behavior they interpret it as shorthand for that character being abusive. Like, as you said, characters like Crowley who are beloved (rightfully so) by the fandom get a free pass on torturing Kevin, Linda, and killing innocent people for fun, but god forbid Dean echoes the exact same phrase John Winchester said to Sam before he left for Stanford. Or have a widower arc (that doesn’t even mirror John’s but whatever).

John Winchester generally sucks and I don’t like him because he isn’t in the show enough for me to see him make fun, messy choices that make me decide he’s compelling. We only see the crater he left in Sam and Dean. And that’s why the fandom generally hates him, but people like to wrap it up in a “he was the evilest character on the show” package when Azazel is right there.

[melwnst]

────── ⋆⋅☆ DATING DEAN WINCHESTER HEADCANONS

⭑.ᐟI’m obsessed with this… kicked my feet and twirled my hair while writing this..🤭 should I make a part two?

word count. 1k

supernatural masterlist/full masterlist/support my work

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⭑.ᐟDean wouldn’t admit this, but he LOVES being the small spoon when you sleep. He feels protected and in a sense it helps him when he doesn’t want to feel alone, he feels safe. You’re the only one who knows, because Dean doesn’t want other people to see him as weak, or too attached-he has issues with how people view him.

⭑.ᐟhe doesn’t look like it from other people’s point of view but he truly is a sweetheart. Maybe it’s just with you, but he gets really soft. Like he’ll confess things to you at night that he wouldn’t tell anyone else. Whether it’s him being real about his emotions, or telling you embarrassing things that he did as a teenager that still haunt him. He’s so precious actually.

⭑.ᐟDean HATES when other people look at you. Not in a weird jealous and possessive way(only sometimes) but it’s mostly because he thinks he doesn’t deserve you, so whenever someone looks at you, he thinks you could just walk away from him. It’s not because he doesn’t trust you- he does and he knows you wouldn’t do it, but his trust and abandonment issues get the best of him sometimes and he can’t help but think like that.

⭑.ᐟon the other hand, when he does get jealous and possessive, let’s say at a bar on a night out when he feels confident, he gets like really pissed. He goes into starring contest with whoever’s eyeing you to try and intimidate them, and if that doesn’t work he gets vocal. It could be an agressive ‘can I help you?’ Or with a protective hand on your waist, he’d say something like ‘you need something?’. I don’t see him as someone who’s too agressive because he is intimidating so most times he doesn’t need to go too far, they look at him and just walk away cuz they know they have zero fighting chance.

⭑.ᐟokay. So, in bed? Yeah. He’s good. He’s literally Dean Winchester, there’s nothing he can’t do. Too tired? He’s got you, no need to lift a single finger, he’ll take care of you, even if it takes all night. However, because he’s a softie it’s not always rough. Sometimes it’s slow, he tells you he loves you, his pace doesn’t evolve, he does it just the way he knows you like or want it in the moment. When it’s rough, the aftercare is even better. He apologizes or makes sure for HOURS! That you’re okay and that he wasn’t too rough. You assure him it was perfect- but a part of him feels guilty sometimes although he had a great time. He likes slower sex better.

⭑.ᐟHE’S SO BIG OKAY THERE I SAID IT!!!!!!!

⭑.ᐟhe loves holding your hand like if he goes more than an hour without holding your hand or at least touching you in any way shape or form, he loses his mind. It soothes him, the way your thumb caresses the back of his hand, the way his thumb does the same at the back of yours. Sometimes you swear he thinks your hands are one big soccer ball by the way he holds both of your hands in his because he doesn’t wanna let go😭

⭑.ᐟhe loves physical touch but words of affirmation are his favorite. It wasn’t at first because it took him awhile to open up and not feel ashamed for feeling feelings- normal human emotions. But now? Not only does he worship you and lets you know, but he doesn’t go one single day without telling you he loves you, because with that job he knows tomorrow isn’t promised. On his side, he loves being reassured, so he loves giving you words of affirmation but he LOVES getting them. He enjoys feeling wanted and loved because he didn’t have that growing up.

⭑.ᐟhe loves driving around with you. Like at night if he’s bored he’ll just drag you to the impala and drive with no direction just so you can spend time outside of the bunker just the two of you.

⭑.ᐟhe also LOVES stargazing. Sam teases him about it, but he genuinely loves doing that with you. After driving around he’ll find a new spot and you’ll both lay on the impala watching the stars. It can last hours and neither of you mind, sometimes you don’t even talk you just hold each other and that’s enough.

⭑.ᐟhe doesn’t tell you but he hates the fact that you do this job too. If he could shield you from all of it, keep you in the bunker he would. He can’t, obviously- he knows that you do it for the same reasons he does, and it’s important to you, but he always gets this gnarly uncomfortable feeling at the pit of his gut before you go right when you find what the next hunt’s gonna be. You can tell- but you know it’s a touchy subject so you don’t bring it up.

⭑.ᐟsometimes he talks to you when you’re asleep (KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!) like the first time he told you he loved you, he thought you were asleep- except you weren’t. So the next day you brought it up and you swear you thought he was about to cry of embarrassment. You obviously reassured him and told him you felt the same, so he felt better instantly. But that does kinda haunt him from time to time, he cringes when he thinks about it.

⭑.ᐟpersonally I think Dean loves bear hugs. He loves to hug you however- but bear hugs are his ultimate favorite. He tries not to do it when people are around, he’s not that fond of PDA, except at bars and what not- but when you’re alone he’s like a soft teddy bear, it’s so cute.

⭑.ᐟif you’re sick and beg him to stay away he will have the BEST time choosing movies and snuggling with you. He couldn’t care less about getting sick, he wants to be with you and try to make you feel better.

[assiraphales]

when i was a kid/preteen watching spn the first time I was like “wow sam is so uptight and dean is doesn’t really take things as seriously” but as an adult who recognizes dean winchester as a Mother, it’s the exact opposite. EVERYTHING dean does is intentional meanwhile sam is a loose cannon bc of his trauma/guilt over jess. dean makes bad jokes and goofs off FOR sam to try and lighten him up. dean “flirts” with witnesses to gain their trust / so they open up. dean is holding back his own issues acting emotionally ‘stunted’ bc he doesn’t want to put more weight on an already vulnerable sam, and actively forces sam to talk thru his own issues (his nightmares, his loss of jess and a “normal” life). dean would rather put himself in danger & be the “hero” bc he knows sam and be more brash will if he doesn’t, and he’d rather be the one to get hurt. I’m SICK!!

[witchy-worm]

Here's my second art piece for @spnbangbang ! I had a great time working with @thefandomsinhalor on this one, thank you for claiming my art and bringing another Destiel hockey au into the world!

Go check out the fic here: LINK TO FIC

Banner and fic info behind the cut

Icebreaker

Author: thefandomsinhalor 

Artist: Witchy-Worm

Primary Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Length: 16,000

Warnings: N/A

Tags: Hockey AU, Teammates, Top Castiel/ Bottom Dean, Clothed Sex, Masturbation, Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Trust Issues, Mention of Some Childhood Trauma

Summary: Unlike the rest of his team, Dean hasn’t warmed up to their newest star hockey player, Castiel Novak. Between their long unspoken rivalry, and Castiel’s seemingly pretentiousness, Dean is not holding his breath on this changing any time soon, especially not after a disastrous attempt to find common ground over a cozy, yet forced, dinner.

A tiny mix-up with their hotel key cards, unbeknownst to them both, however, might just do the trick.

[hexedwinchester]

isn't this the episode right after he killed Amy? and Sam doesn't find out until 7th episode about this i believe? so Dean is literally lying through his teeth (no surprise, that's what he does) by telling him that he trusts him? Wow, Dean, aren't you the poster boy of deceit!

the way he basically just confessed he never trusted sam right to his face

[fatecantstopme]

Not Good Enough

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: You overhear Dean say some hurtful things about you to Sam and decide you need to change, much to Dean's dismay.

Warnings: cursing, mutual pining, mentions of violence, body issues/esteem issues, past trauma, illusions to eating disorders and sexual assault. SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), dom/sub vibes, dirty talk.

You didn't like to think about your life before the Winchesters. Most of the time, it was easier to pretend you didn't have a past--no dark and morbid history to share, no pain and trauma still lingering deep within you.

Sam and Dean were the only ones you'd felt comfortable opening up to, and even that took years. Life had not been kind to you, and the scars on your body and in your mind were the proof.

Eight years ago, your hellish life took a turn for the better, but only after you almost lost it. You'd been walking home after a late night filled with bad decisions, when you were attacked. The man was fast, vicious, and cruel--taking what he wanted from you and leaving you for dead.

As fate would have it, the Winchester brothers were in town hunting a nest of vampires, and had been prowling around downtown waiting for one to make an appearance.

It was Dean who heard your screams, your cries for help, your sobs. It was Dean who came running into the dark alleyway without a thought for his own well-being. It was Dean who dropped to his knees beside your beaten and broken body...who took his jacket off and draped it over you to cover your mostly exposed form. It was Dean who gently scooped you into his arms and carried you to his car...and it was Dean that stood beside your hospital bed until you opened your eyes again.

Sam had eventually tracked down the man who had attacked you. It turned out, he had attacked several other women in the downtown area over the previous few months. Dean had been surprised to discover the man was just that--a man. Not a shapeshifter, a ghoul, a demon...not a vampire or a werewolf...just a man. His status as a human did not, however, make him any more safe from your avenging savior.

You'd never asked Dean exactly what had happened to your attacker, and he'd never talked about it. All you knew was he would never hurt anyone ever again.

It was unlike Dean to trust a stranger, and certainly out of character for him to confide in one, but there was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He felt as if he'd found a kindred spirit in you, someone who could understand him in a way even his brother couldn't.

Once you were on the mend, Dean made you an offer--one you were thankful you didn't refuse. You joined the brothers on their adventures--saving people, hunting things, the whole nine yards.

Overtime, you had become an integral part of their small family unit. Either brother would have died for you and you for them. There had been more than one close call for each of you over the past eight years, and more than one monster brutally slain to protect you.

You were closer in age to Sam, only a year younger than him, but Dean had always been the one you were closer to. Just as Dean had seen a kindred spirit in you, you had seen one in him. He understood you, he respected you, and he cared about you more deeply than anyone in your life ever had.

In the long years you'd spent in their constant company, you'd begun to change. The darkness that lived inside you seemed to fade, as if being near the Winchesters brought a light into your life you didn't know you needed. The mental scars you'd carried began to heal, even if the ones on your skin would always be visible.

There were still days where the darkness would rise within you, dark thoughts rolling through your mind, bringing you to your knees with a pain you could never describe. There were days when you would look in the mirror and hate the reflection gazing back at you--seeing the girl you had once been instead of the woman you now were.

There were moments when you'd forget all the progress you'd made, mind focusing instead on all of your flaws, all of your failures. The worst part was many of them lived only in your mind--you knew no one but you could see them, but that didn't make them any less real to you.

Lately, you had been struggling with self-esteem issues you'd long since buried. You'd thought you'd come to terms with who you were and what you looked like--accepted the body you had. Weight had been a struggle for you your entire life, and for a long time, you turned to terrible habits in order to lose weight and attempt to keep it off.

Those habits had ended eight years ago, but the issues they'd covered did not. Today was one of the bad days. One of the days you stared in the mirror and hated the image you saw--the softness, the curves, the fat. That was the word that kept repeating in your mind, fat, fat, fat.

You tried desperately to block it out, to remember why you loved your body just as it was, but those thoughts wouldn't leave you alone. The darkness inside you was too much to battle, the pain of hating yourself too much to cope with.

You'd been thankful for the bunker the day the three of you had discovered it, but you were even more grateful on days like today. Days you wanted to spend holed up in your room, refusing to face the outside world.

As much as you wanted to lay in bed for the entire day, your grumbling stomach soon became too much to ignore. You knew you needed to eat--there could be no more starving yourself, no more binging and purging--you needed to eat.

You dragged yourself out of bed and tugged on a pair of sweatpants before cautiously opening your bedroom door. You listened for the sounds of either brother moving around. Upon hearing none, you made your way slowly towards the kitchen, intent on making yourself a sandwich and retreating to the safety of your room.

Just before you rounded the corner to head into the kitchen, you heard Dean's low voice rumbling from inside. You froze in place, pressing yourself against the wall, not wanting to be seen or heard. You fully intended to creep back to your room--you really did--but the sound of your name leaving Dean's lips held you in place.

"(Y/N)'s not strong enough," Dean hissed. You could tell by the tone of his voice he was angry, very angry.

"Oh come on," Sam snapped. "She's been doing this for eight years. She's more than capable."

"Are you insane? I mean, really and truly crazy? She'll get herself killed!" Dean's voice had risen in volume and you heard Sam shush him quietly.

"Don't wake her up," Sam chided.

You heard Dean's annoyed sigh and your eyes fluttered closed for a moment. You knew what they were fighting about. You and Sam had a conversation a couple days ago about you hunting on your own. You'd asked for his thoughts and Sam had been honest and supportive. He said you were more than capable of hunting on your own, should he or Dean not be available to go with you. Your hunting skills were certainly not on their level, but if the case was simple enough, you would be fine.

Clearly Dean did not agree with his brother's assessment of your abilities. "She's not strong enough, or fast enough, or physically prepared to hunt on her own. She's just not, okay? She's different from us...she's not built like we are."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Sam asked incredulously.

You bit your lip to keep from whimpering aloud, Dean's words having cut straight through you like a hot knife. You blinked back your tears as you moved as quickly as possible back to your room without making noise.

Dean's words repeated on a loop inside your head, echoing your own darkest thoughts about yourself. Even Dean thought you were too fat, too weak, too useless to do anything on your own. You realized he likely only allowed you to hunt with him because he felt sorry for you--a pitying friendship you didn't ask for.

Despite the irrationality of your thoughts, you could not escape them. You couldn't fight them off, either because you didn't have the strength or because you were afraid they were right. Your mind once again played tricks on you, dragging you down into the darkness--but this time you succumbed, allowing your own tears to drag you into a nightmare fueled sleep.

Unbeknownst to you, Sam and Dean's conversation had continued in the kitchen. Neither of them had noticed your presence, both too upset with the other to focus on anything else.

"Look, (Y/N) is my best friend. Other than you, she's my favorite person...hell, I like her more than you sometimes," Dean confessed. "I just--I don't want to lose her. If we let her go out there without backup and something happens to her, I'll never forgive myself. I'd rather her never hunt at all, but I think she'd kill me if I told her to sit out on a fight just because I'm terrified of her dying."

Sam was quiet for a moment as he regarded his brother. Dean was not known for his vulnerability, nor for sharing any of his deeper emotions, but Sam could see something simmering just beneath the surface--some emotion beyond rage and fear lurked in his brother's green eyes.

"What are you really saying, Dean?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean looked at the floor for a long moment before answering. "When we met (Y/N), I was instantly drawn to her--like a moth to flame. I don't know what it was, but I felt connected to her in a way I'd never felt before. That feeling has only grown in the past eight years and now I can't imagine living life without her. I don't want to imagine it. A world without (Y/N) in it isn't a world I want to exist in."

Sam exhaled slowly, realization crossing his features. It was rare for Dean to care for someone so deeply, but when he did, he became irrationally protective. Sam was painfully familiar with that particular side of his brother's nature. He also knew what it meant, what Dean was really saying--even if he wasn't ready to admit it.

"You should talk to (Y/N)," Sam urged. "Both about how you feel, and about why you don't want her to hunt alone."

"What do you mean, 'how I feel'?"

Sam raised his eyebrows. "You know exactly what I mean." He didn't give his brother a chance to respond. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and walked out the door, claiming a need to workout.

Dean watched Sam walk away, and a feeling of mild terror settled into his bones. He'd come very close to admitting how he really felt about you and it scared him. Hell, his feelings scared him. The fact that he was foolish enough to fall in love was bad enough, but the fact that you were the one who'd stolen his heart made it so much worse.

He'd told himself he would never fall in love, never get married, never settle down--this life wasn't conducive to any sort of domestic bliss. Part of him didn't think he deserved that kind of happiness, but the main issue was the danger of loving you so deeply. He knew the risks, knew how it would turn out--bloody, like it always did.

In his mind, the only way he could keep you safe was to pretend all he felt for you was platonic friendship. He could protect you on hunts and his guard would never be down around you, so he could protect you in every way. He'd seen how far you'd come, how strong you now were, and there was no way he would be the reason the world lost your beautiful soul.

No one could ever know the truth, not even Sam. The only way this didn't end bloody was if you never even suspected Dean loved you. No monster would be able to use his love for you against you, no monster would ever hurt you just to get to him. For you, for your safety, he was willing to break his own heart.

**********

It had been three days since you'd overheard the conversation between Sam and Dean. The first two days, you'd remained secluded in your room, claiming a migraine any time either of the boys came to check on you.

This morning, however, you'd woken up with a goal. You showered, got dressed, and made your way to the kitchen. As you were fixing yourself some breakfast, you heard someone enter the room.

"You're up early," Sam said warmly.

You turned to glance at him with a soft smile. "I wanted to get a head start on the day."

Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. "You're feeling better, I take it."

You nodded. "Yeah, that headache was brutal." You felt bad for lying, but it was easier to fein a migraine than it was to admit what you'd overheard and the dark thoughts you'd been plagued with.

"Well, I'm gonna go for a run," Sam said cheerfully. "Any chance I could entice you to come with me?"

You laughed and rolled your eyes. "Not unless someone's chasing me."

He chuckled and ducked out of the kitchen, taking a bottle of water with him. Sam always asked if you wanted to join him on his morning runs, but he knew you were unlikely to ever agree. You hated running almost as much as Dean did.

You ate your breakfast quietly, contemplating your plans for the day. You had decided to start a new routine today, a routine you intended to continue until you felt better about yourself or until you could get Dean's words out of your head, whichever came first.

After breakfast, you went into the library to do some reading, intending to allow your stomach time to digest your food. You weren't sure exactly how much time had passed, but Sam had returned from his run, showered, and was now eating his breakfast at the table while scrolling through the latest news stories on his computer.

Dean, unsurprisingly, was still not awake, despite the fact that it was 10am.

You closed your book and stood up. "I'll be down in the gym if you need me," you said to Sam as you crossed the room towards the door.

"You'll--what?"

You gestured towards the hall behind you. "I'll be in the gym."

He looked perplexed, but didn't comment on your sudden desire to workout. He could tell something was a little off with you, but he had the feeling you wouldn't want to talk about it, so he decided to let it go. After all, it's not like going to the gym was something he needed to worry about--it wouldn't kill you (unlike some of your previous bad choices).

When you reached the gym, you looked around and sighed. You'd always hated working out. It was a reminder how out of shape you were and how imperfect your body was. Sure, hunting kept you relatively healthy--you had surprising stamina and endurance, but the weight just never seemed to fall off. You'd begun to feel like your fat was holding some kind of grudge against you, intent on making your life miserable for some perceived slight.

You sighed again and walked over to the treadmill in the corner. You stared at it for a few minutes, deciding whether you really wanted to use it. You'd always hated the treadmill, but you needed to start somewhere, so you hopped on and started to walk at a brisk pace.

Thirty minutes later, you switched to the stationary bike, wanting a change from the monotony of walking. Twenty minutes after that, you were bored out of your mind. You decided to try something else. Maybe lifting weights would do the trick.

About two reps in, your headphones died and you groaned in annoyance. You tugged them out of your ears and tossed them to the floor, opting instead to blast your music loudly through the bluetooth speaker Sam kept down there.

Alanis Morissette's voice now carried down the hall, but you couldn't be bothered to care. She was your go-to when you were feeling angry or upset, her music always making you feel better, especially when you scream-sang along.

After a few more reps, you decided to work on your boxing skills. Sam had taught you years ago, mostly as a way to teach you some fighting skills. You wrapped your hands to protect your knuckles, settled into your stance, and began hitting the punching bag. The release of frustration you felt was almost immediate and you realized you should have just done this from the start.

Upstairs, Dean was just returning from running an errand. He'd woken up and been distressed to find they were out of bacon and beer--his two main food groups. He'd gone to the grocery store to restock and was now happily cooking an excessive amount of bacon for his breakfast.

"You know you should eat something besides bacon, right?" Sam teased him.

"Nothing is better than bacon, Sammy. Nothing." Dean scooped the rest of the bacon onto his plate with a look of glee.

"Heart attack on a plate," Sam muttered.

"Oh shut it," Dean grumbled as he bit into his first piece. He moaned obnoxiously, causing his brother to roll his eyes dramatically. "Where's (Y/N)?" He asked, words garbled by the bacon he was still chewing.

"What?"

Dean swallowed. "Where's (Y/N)? I stopped by her room before I went out and she was gone."

"She's in the gym."

"I'm sorry, she's what?"

Sam shrugged. "She's in the gym. She went down after breakfast."

"Why?"

"I assume to work out," Sam said lightly.

Dean groaned. "Obviously, smartass, but why was she gonna work out?"

"I don't know, dude. Why don't you ask her?"

Dean looked down at his plate. "I will once I finish my bacon."

Sam rolled his eyes, but didn't comment further.

Once Dean had finished his breakfast, he made his way down to the gym, a feeling of dread settling into his stomach. He couldn't really put a finger on why, only that he didn't like the feeling.

As he neared the gym, he heard 'You Oughta Know' blasting down the hallway. He didn't hear your voice over the lyrics until he actually entered the room. He would have smiled at the sight if he wasn't so worried about you.

Your back was to him as you continued to pummel the absolute shit out of the punching bag. Dean had to admire both your form and the power you exuded. But as he watched you, that feeling of dread began to creep higher into his chest, wrapping itself around his heart.

He called out your name, but you couldn't hear him over the music. He spotted the speaker and walked over to turn it off, plunging the room into a shocking silence.

You spun around, surprised to see Dean standing beside the speaker. "I, uhh, I called your name," he muttered sheepishly.

"Oh, sorry. I was kinda in the zone."

He nodded. "Yeah, I noticed. So, uh, whatcha doin'?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Working out...as one does in a gym."

He winced, feeling like an idiot. "I know that, but what I don't know is why."

"Why what?"

"Why are you suddenly working out in the gym for two straight hours? You hate the gym."

You stared at him with an unreadable expression. Your eyes were dark and your jaw was set as you regarded him. "You can't think of any reason?"

Dean thought about it for a moment. "No...hence why I'm asking."

You gestured to your body. "Because I'm not strong enough or fast enough or physically fit enough to hunt...sound familiar?"

Dean winced, eyes widening with realization. "(Y/N), I--"

You held up your hand. "No need to apologize, Dean. I realized you were right. I am weaker than you and Sam, I am slower and heavier and fatter--I am completely less physically capable than either of you. So obviously, I need to do something about that. Hence the gym."

Dean stared at her, anger darkening his features. "None of that is true."

"Of course it is, Dean. You said it yourself. I'm just agreeing with you."

"Of course you're not the same as us, (Y/N), but that has nothing to do with your body or your weight or your ability. We're men, and large ones at that. We're physically built different than you, but that doesn't mean you need to change anything about yourself to be more like us."

"Well clearly I do, or you wouldn't have found my body so unacceptable--you wouldn't have told Sam I'm not capable of hunting on my own."

Whatever thread was keeping Dean from yelling finally snapped. "Your body isn't unacceptable! You aren't weak! There is nothing wrong with you--nothing!"

You were stunned into silence by the intensity of his words. You didn't know how to react or what to say.

Dean sighed deeply, feeling the anger drain out of him at last. "You didn't hear the rest of our conversation, did you?" His voice was barely a whisper, but you could hear the raw emotion in it.

You shook your head.

"You should have stayed...you may have learned something."

"What would I have learned?" you asked quietly.

"You would have realized that your interpretation of my words wasn't at all how I meant them. You would have heard me tell Sam how terrified I am of losing you, how that fear makes me want to keep you out of this life--away from hunting entirely. You would have seen that I love you just the way you are--that I don't want you to change a single thing about yourself. You would know that I am the problem, not you...it was never you."

"Dean..." you whispered, unsure of what to say. "You...you don't need to try and make me feel better."

He stared at you, green eyes full of fire. "I'm not trying to make you feel better. I'm trying to be honest about my feelings--to make you see you the way I see you."

"Why now?"

He was taken aback by your question, and it took him several moments to respond. "You know how I feel about romantic attachments...I worry about losing the person I love most, simply because they were unlucky enough to be loved by me. The fear of losing another person I love or have them be used against me is a pain I'm not sure I can bear. But you--you deserve better than my fears. You are the light to my darkness, my reason for living. I can't stand the thought of you believing I think less of you, not when I would burn the world down to keep you safe."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" you whispered, a glimmer of hope sparkling in your voice.

Dean took a step towards you. "If you think I'm telling you that I've been in love with you for years, that I love every single part of you inside and out, that I don't want you to change a single thing, that I think you're perfect...then yes."

You exhaled sharply, breathing ragged as you stared into his soulful green eyes.

He crossed the short distance between you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against his body, not caring about the sweat staining your body.

He practically crushed you against him, holding on more tightly than you'd ever imagined he would. After several moments, he loosened his grip on you so he could gaze down into your eyes. A small, lopsided smile graced his lips and his eyes fluttered shut. As his lips grazed against yours, you sighed softly, causing him to immediately deepen the kiss.

His hands dug into your soft flesh, seemingly reveling in the feeling of your body in his arms. His kiss was everything you'd imagined it would be and so much more--you felt safe, loved, and cherished. You didn't know you could have those feelings from a single kiss, but here you were, drowning in emotion, his love the life raft saving you from darkness.

When you finally parted, Dean rested his forehead against yours. "Do you believe me, (Y/N)? Can you see how much I love you? How badly I need you?"

"Yes," you breathed. "I believe you."

He sighed happily, breath mingling with yours. "Will you let me show you?"

You pulled away from him slightly so you could see his face better.

His eyes were dark with hunger, his gaze almost predatory. If you didn't know him, you would be frightened.

"Let me show you, sweetheart," he begged softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Let me show you how much I love your body--how badly I've wanted to touch it, mark it, make it mine. Let me touch every curve, kiss every scar--bite and lick and suck every pleasure point until you're a moaning mess in my arms. Let me make love to you the way you deserve."

No man had ever spoken to you like that, and you felt your toes curl at his words. If he could spark your body alive with nothing but words, you wondered what he was capable of doing with his body.

Your breathing was labored and your voice husky as you murmured, "How could I ever say no?"

Dean smirked and he tugged you to him again, lips crashing against yours. You felt his hands all over your body, clutching any part of you he could reach. His mouth left yours, lips trailing down your neck, nipping and sucking gently against the sensitive skin. He licked the column of your throat and groaned softly, muttering "salty" in a devilishly sexy voice.

You pulled away, suddenly remembering what you'd been doing when Dean interrupted you. "Wait--I-I need to shower first."

Dean groaned in annoyance. "No you don't."

You started to peel him off you with a light chuckle. "Yes, I do. I feel gross."

He pouted adorably. "For the record, I would make love to you on the sparing mat, right here, right now."

You laughed. "As hot as that might be, I really want to shower...I'll even let you join me." You shot him a wink and ran toward the door.

He realized what you'd said and turned to run after you, chasing you all the way to the showers. You giggled when he caught you, tugging you to him to kiss at your exposed neck and shoulders.

"Shower!" you squealed.

He groaned. "Fine, fine."

He practically dragged you into the bathroom, turning away from you to turn on the water before tugging you into the shower with him.

"Dean, our clothes--"

"They'll dry," he grumbled, fingers tugging on your shirt to lift it over your head.

You allowed him to remove it, neither of you paying attention to where it landed as he tossed it out of the shower. He did the same with his own shirt and jeans, followed by your leggings.

He spun you around, so your back was pressed against the cold tile, water spraying across your chest. He unzipped your sports bra and you allowed it to fall to the ground, revealing your heavy breasts to his wanton eyes.

"Fuuuuck," he groaned, lips attaching to your pert nipple.

You ran your hands through his hair as he continued his gentle assault on your breasts. His lips didn't leave your chest, even as his hands trailed down to slowly peel off your underwear.

He slipped two fingers between your folds, collecting your slick and pressing firmly against your clit. You moaned softly at the sensation, head falling back against the tile.

He removed his fingers, slipping them between his lips and sucking them dry. "I need more," he murmured hungrily.

He dropped to his knees and grabbed your right leg, slinging it over his shoulder before you could utter a word. You started to complain that you needed to wash the sweat off first, but he ignored you, tongue sweeping between your folds without a care.

Any protests you may have had were lost as he worked his magic on your pussy. Your fingers twisted into his short hair, head back, mouth open, drowning in the pleasure he was giving you. You were thankful for the tile you leaned against and his strong arms holding you in place as he feasted on you.

Your legs began to shake and you cried out his name seconds before your orgasm hit you, sending you spiraling into bliss. Dean didn't want to stop, but your hands weakly tugged on his hair and your legs began to buckle, so he pulled himself up to keep you from falling.

"Delicious," he whispered against your mouth as he pressed another kiss to your lips.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him closer to you and he shifted to press his body tightly against yours. You gasped as his still clothed member brushed against your thigh and your hands instantly slid down his body to rid him of the annoying fabric.

"Wanna touch you," you begged softly.

He groaned, but pulled away from your reach.

"Dean," you whined.

"Shh, let me wash you first," he insisted.

"But--"

He cut you off with a kiss. "Let me worship you before you touch me--I wanna make this about you."

Your expression softened and you leaned into him. "I love you, Dean."

Your voice was a low whisper, but he heard it all the same. You hadn't said the words earlier, a fact he had been trying to ignore. Hearing you say them now nearly had him throwing all his plans for the next week out the window--wanting to do nothing more than worship you from dusk to dawn for the foreseeable future.

"Dean?" you whispered warily, concern filling your eyes.

He used all his self-control to push his own needs and wants aside. "I heard you, baby," he assured you. "I heard you."

His kiss was gentler this time, sweeter even, and it warmed your body from the inside out. He broke away, panting, a whispered "I love you" pressed into your skin as he made his way down your body and back up again.

After what felt like an eternity, he grabbed the shower gel and loofa and slowly began to lather you up, washing your body in a surprisingly sensual way. When he finally decided you were clean, he helped you under the spray and made sure all the suds were rinsed off.

"Can I touch you now?" you begged.

He smiled warmly. "I suppose I can allow it." He forced his voice to be steady and calm, despite the desire screaming inside of him--begging him to take you well and properly.

You sunk to your knees, gaze lifting to meet his. You gave him a shy smile before taking his cock in your soft hands. He was larger than average, but you weren't afraid of the pain. Instead, you focused on giving him the same intense pleasure he had given you.

When you wrapped your lips around his cock, his head fell back and a groan escaped his parted lips. His fingers danced across your scalp, gathering your hair to one side so he could see you properly.

"Shit, sweetheart," he mumbled. "You're taking me so well."

You moaned around him, pleased with the praise he offered you. You continued to work him, using your tongue to caress and tease him in ways he'd never experienced before.

He wasn't at all surprised by your skill, but he was surprised by how damn good it felt. Sure, it had been a while for him, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a blow job that made his knees weak--if ever.

"Shit, baby," he whispered. "I'm so close--gonna cum for you."

His fingers raked through your wet hair and he used his other hand to lean against the tiles behind you. His hips jutted forward slightly as you relaxed your throat, taking him as far back as you could.

You flattened your tongue against his cock and flexed it, repeating the motion a few times before Dean's grip on your hair became painful and he exploded into your throat with a cry of your name.

You swallowed everything he had to give you, not releasing him from your lips until he pulled away, forcing the two of you to separate.

Dean leaned back against the shower wall and pulled you towards him, trying to support his weak legs while also helping you up. Once you were on your feet, he tugged you into him and placed a feverish kiss to your lips.

He panted heavily when he finally released you from his tight grip, allowing you to suck in some much needed air.

"Where did you learn how to do that thing with your tongue?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

You smirked. "It's a natural talent."

He grinned. "Well I fucking love it."

You laughed and leaned back into him, capturing his lips in a sweeter kiss. "So what are your thoughts on continuing this elsewhere?"

"Well my plan was to make you moan my name for the next several hours...I don't care where we go, as long as you're willing to let me ruin you."

Your thighs clenched together involuntarily and you moaned softly, biting into your bottom lip to keep the sound from being too loud. "My room?"

"My room is closer," he murmured into your shoulder.

You smiled and backed away from him, causing him to pout. You turned the water off and continued to back out of the shower. You grabbed a towel and wrapped it around yourself, which only served to upset Dean.

"What do you think you're doing?" he growled.

Your eyes widened. "Putting on a towel so we can go to your room..."

"Did I say you could hide your body from me?" His tone was shockingly dominant and a spark of need went straight to your core.

"No," you whispered.

"I didn't think so." He stepped forward, dominance oozing from every pore in his body. "Drop the towel. Now."

You gasped softly, but heeded his command. The towel fell to the floor and he took yet another predatory step in your direction.

"Don't you ever hide yourself from me again. I wanna see every inch of your body." His hands grabbed at your hips roughly, tugging you towards him forcefully. "You're mine, do you understand me? Mine."

While the idea of someone owning you would normally piss you off, in this context it was a shocking turn-on. You swallowed thickly as you stared up into his heated gaze, suddenly unable to move, or even breathe.

He leaned down to kiss along your jaw towards your ear. He breathed slowly against your skin, causing you to shiver and clutch his arms for support. "Is this okay?" he whispered, voice still gruff, but much more loving.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to form actual words.

"Baby, I need you to tell me with your words. I need you to say whether this is okay or not. I don't wanna do something you're not into."

You turned your head a little so you could see his bright green eyes. The look in his eyes was reflected in your own and there was no doubt or fear in your voice when you answered him. "I'm very into it."

Your reassurance was all he needed to fall back into the dominant role. "Then you'd better get your ass into my bed before we have a problem."

You turned to open the door, yelping slightly when his hand smacked your ass. You shot him a surprised look and he looked slightly sheepish.

"Sorry, baby...I couldn't resist. You've got a great ass."

You smirked at the compliment and gave him a little wiggle before rushing into the hallway and making a beeline for his bedroom door.

He was surprised by your teasing action, but it only made him smile. He chased after you, mumbling, "Oh you're in for it now, princess."

You giggled as you landed on his bed, crawling up towards the headboard as he came through the doorway. He shut the door behind him and stalked to the edge of the bed, fiery gaze locked on you.

"It's unfair how sexy you look right now," he growled. "Makes me wanna fuck you senseless--make you scream my name until your voice is hoarse."

You gulped, trying to hide behind false bravado. "Are you going to do that from the other side of the room?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't be a brat."

"Why don't you come here and do something about it."

Dean practically jumped onto the bed, climbing on top of you and caging you beneath him in seconds. His cock was hard again, pressing against your thigh--a reminder of how badly he wanted you.

"Not so mouthy now are you?"

"Dean, I--"

"Hush," he murmured as he leaned down to kiss you. He shifted just enough so his cock brushed against your core, and you gasped into his mouth.

"How badly do you want me right now, (Y/N)?" he asked, voice rough with need.

"I've never wanted you more," you answered honestly.

He groaned lowly. "How do you want it? You want me to fuck you into this mattress or take it nice and slow?"

"Fuck me into the mattress," you begged softly. "Please."

"Jesus--I love when you beg for me," he growled.

"Fuck me, Dean," you pleaded. You weren't above begging, especially when it came to him.

Dean gripped his cock in his right hand and lined himself up with your entrance. He started to push in, trying to move slowly to avoid hurting you as much. "You're so fucking tight, baby," he whispered against your lips.

You gripped his biceps harshly, nails digging into his skin. The stretch was unbelievable, both painful and pleasurable all at once.

"You okay?" he whispered softly.

You nodded.

"Babe," he said in a warning tone.

"I'm okay--keep going."

He continued to push into you and your back arched as his cock brushed against your cervix. You whimpered at the feeling of fullness, and Dean struggled to remain motionless until you told him it was okay to move.

"I need you to move, Dean--please."

He pulled himself up slightly and started a very gentle pace, still allowing you time to adjust. The last thing he wanted was to make this painful or uncomfortable for you. He didn't give a damn about his enjoyment--all he wanted was to watch you fall apart over and over again.

"Your pussy feels incredible, baby," he groaned. "I could stay here forever."

He began to move more quickly and your breathing became more erratic as you reveled in the pleasure of the moment. Your moans were like music to his ears, spurring him on as he slid into you again.

"I love the sounds you're making, sweetheart. I wanna hear you."

He picked up his pace and shifted you into a new position so he could get even deeper inside you. You cried out as he hit your g-spot, pussy clamping down on his cock in response.

"Shit--" he groaned. "You're squeezing me so tight--taking my cock so fucking well, gorgeous."

Your back arched again and your head was tossed back, pressing into the pillows at the head of the bed. Your hands twisted in the sheets, unable to reach his arms or his back as he slammed into you repeatedly.

He knew you were close, but he wasn't ready to feel you cum yet. "Look at me, baby."

He waited until your hazy eyes met his.

"Don't cum until I tell you to, understand?"

Your eyes widened. "But, Dean--"

"Not until I give you permission," he said firmly.

You nodded rapidly, not wanting to risk your orgasm altogether.

"Good girl."

You moaned loudly and your pussy clenched tightly around his cock, causing him to echo the sound.

"Fuck, baby," he groaned. "You like it when I praise you, huh? You wanna hear about how much I love this pussy? How I've been thinking about fucking you for years? How I've craved your body?"

You were practically breathless beneath him, unable to formulate a response or even acknowledge his words.

"Your pussy is fucking perfect," he continued. "Made for me. And this body? Gorgeous and soft and fucking delicious. Can't believe I get to touch you like this--make you feel so good."

"Dean, please," you begged breathlessly.

"Not yet, sweetheart."

You whimpered, but continued to focus on staving off your impending orgasm.

"Who owns this pussy, baby?"

You didn't answer--too focused on not cumming until he gave you permission.

His grip on your legs tightened, bringing your attention back to him. "That's it, pretty girl, look at me. Tell me who owns this pussy."

"You," you gasped out.

"That's right. This pussy is mine. I'm the only one who gets to touch you like this--make you moan and whimper and scream. No one else."

"Only you," you cried.

"Fuck--" His breathing had become ragged and he had begun to struggle to keep himself from orgasming.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please what, baby?"

"Let me cum!" you begged.

Dean decided to take pity on you. "Cum for me, baby."

"Dean!" you screamed as your orgasm ripped through you. The pleasure so white hot and blinding you nearly blacked out.

Dean helped you ride out the waves of pleasure before lowering himself back down to hover over you. He placed soft kisses to your heated skin and whispered, "You're so damn beautiful when you cum."

You were gulping down mouthfuls of air, but you heard his whispered words. "I love you," you murmured.

He groaned softly. "Love you more."

He picked his pace back up, intent on giving you another orgasm before allowing himself to cum.

It didn't take long for him to work you back up, letting you hang on the precipice of blissful pleasure once more.

"You feel so good beneath me, baby. I love watching your pretty face as you fall apart. I just can't get enough of you," he admitted.

Your nails dug into his back, indicating you also couldn't get enough of him. "Dean, I need more," you pleaded.

"Touch yourself for me, baby. I want you to cum before I fill you up."

You lowered your hand down and slipped it between your bodies. You found your clit with ease and began to gently toy with it, sending pulses of toe curling pleasure up your spine.

"Fuck, yes. That's it baby. God, this pussy is addicting...don't ever wanna stop."

"So close," you whimpered.

"Yeah, sweetheart? You wanna cum?"

"Please, Dean."

"How badly?"

"Dean," you whined.

"Be a good girl and tell me how badly you wanna cum for me and maybe I'll let you."

"Please-please-please," you begged. "I wanna cum so bad. I need to cum, Dean, please!"

As much as he loved prolonging your orgasm, he couldn't bear saying no to you. "Cum for me, sweetness," he whispered into your ear.

Your body began to shake as the dam broke once again. You cried out as the pleasure invaded all of your senses, overwhelming you completely.

Dean began to chase his own high, desperately needing to fill you up with his seed. "You're the only woman who makes me lose control," he whispered into your skin.

You were surprised by his words, but they warmed your heart. Dean wasn't the kind of man to lose control often, so the fact that you made him do so was a massive ego boost.

"I wanna feel you fill me up, Dean," you murmured. "Need your cum inside me."

"Fuck," he growled, teeth grazing your pulse point.

His hips began to stutter as he reached his peak. Your nails scraped along his back, giving him the last push he needed to fall over the edge. He came with a guttural growl of your name, ropes of hot cum filling your pussy.

His arms started to feel weak as his orgasm came to an end, and he collapsed on top of you, crushing you beneath his larger frame. You couldn't have been bothered to care if he'd literally smothered you--you were too fucked out to form coherent thoughts.

After a while, Dean managed to pull himself off of you, only to collapse on the bed beside you. He reached for you, strong arms wrapping around your waist to tug you into his chest.

"You're so damn incredible, (Y/N/N)," he whispered into your shoulder, lips pressing soft kisses there. "I don't think I've ever cum that hard--and you managed to do it twice."

"I can't feel my legs and my head is fuzzy," you mumbled. "So I second all of that."

Dean chuckled softly and held you even tighter. "I love you," he murmured. "More than you'll ever know."

"I think I have some idea," you whispered back. "And I love you just as much."

Dean smiled, feeling truly happy for the first time in as long as he could remember. He knew he should get up, help you clean up and all that, but he couldn't get himself to move and you weren't complaining. In fact, your breathing had evened out and he had a feeling you'd be asleep soon.

He kissed your shoulder one more time before resting his head comfortably on the pillow, feeling more relaxed than he had in a while. Just as sleep threatened to claim him, he heard his brother's voice from the other side of the closed door.

"While I'm super happy for you both, I have one request. Next time the two of you decide to fuck each other's brains out, could you at least have the decency to wait until I'm gone? I can't un-hear any of that!"

You laughed lightly and you could feel Dean's laughter rumbling in his chest from behind you.

"We'll do our best," Dean called back. "But no promises! She's simply too hot to resist--you never know when I'll get the urge to ravish her."

You laughed even harder, but you reached behind you to lovingly smack his hip.

"Ohh gross, dude!" Sam grumbled before walking away, leaving the two of you alone again.

"You're so bad, Dean Winchester."

"I didn't hear you complaining when I was making your legs shake ten minutes ago."

You tossed him a grin over your shoulder. "I didn't say it was a bad thing."

He matched your grin. "Touché, my love. Touché."

[ultravi0lence14]

WHEN ANGEL FALLS (IN LOVE)

dean winchester x angel!reader

1.9k | fluff, hurt/comfort, szn nine

summary: as dean withers away in the confines of his room, waiting for his angel to say she loves him back, the girl who stole his heart sits in her own, wondering if the man who showed her hate at the beginning of their story is worth her love.

WHEN ANGEL FALLS IN LOVE

the few small feet between yours and dean’s room felt like miles, the clocks ticking by as the bright blue of the morning dipped into a solemn teal of the afternoon. your day was spent wondering, thinking all things dean winchester.

it was all so new; these feelings, having a choice. you didn’t have one in heaven, always following orders by some higher power. so now, being able to decide your own future was overwhelming.

though choosing was a mental battle in your brain, and everything seemed to go back to the moment you and dean shared in the kitchen the night prior. you saw the good in dean, you really did, but he also had baggage, trauma that plagued his mind and took control of his life. you didn’t know if that was something you were ready to endure, something you knew how to handle.

but the hurt in his eyes, the true sorrow that became aglow from the dim kitchen lights. dean was a man who was riddled with trauma, someone who let his past troubles weigh on him like a smouldering heat.

dean was somebody who instead of letting himself live with what happened to him as a kid, he let it fester in his soul. growing ugly and green, allowing it to retract teeth and bite at anyone who tried to come in.

you realized now that you wanted to break those barriers, you wanted to let those gnarly teeth snip at you sometimes; because dean winchester was worth fighting for, and saving him, showing him that he was capable to love and be loved would be the greatest achievement in all the years you’ve lived throughout.

that mean, cruel hunter dean showed the rest of the world didn’t scare you. yeah, when you two first met he was a jackass. but as you thought in the kitchen, it was just a facade he used to hide away the scared little boy who just wanted to be cared for.

the rest of your day was spent hallowed in your room, the minutes on the clock slowly moving by as you anticipated the approach of 12am. would dean even show up to your room? during your trials and tribulations, was he in his room realizing how silly you were? and that he didn’t want to settle with a stupid girl like you?

it was all so maddening, and when the clock struck 12am, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. he wasn’t going to come, you knew that much. if you still had your wings, you knew for a fact they’d be curled around you right now, providing you comfort against the rocky currents of your brain.

when a tentative rap of knuckles against wood graced your ears at exactly 12:02am, you felt bile lurching up your throat. you knew your answer, that wasn’t the issue. but did dean know his?

admittedly, dean had been worrying the entire day too. his leg couldn’t stop bouncing as he sat hunched on his bed, eyes languid as they stared at his blank wall for hours and hours.

he trusted you, more than he probably should’ve, but allowing yourself time to think made dean wonder if the trust was one sided. could you really see past all the blockades and walls he put up? thorns that pricked at your skin when you tried to enter? it was a hell on earth for dean, and he had to stop himself from running over to your room and beg you for his love more times than he would like to admit.

the confines of his heart clenched as he heard shuffles of feet beyond the door, a testament to the future that laid beyond the crumbling wood. when you opened the door, dean swore he was seeing you for the first time; hauntingly beautiful, the throws of earth and wonder clutching onto your skin.

the soft ringlets that flowed around you like a halo had dean mesmerized, assuming you’d put some type of curlers in your hair during the day. your face was barren, a beautiful, fresh canvas that dean wanted to paint in his love, decorating your skin with his kisses.

a satin, night gown flowed down your shoulders, leaving dean to believe you truly came out of his dreams. a beauty, possibly god’s best creation, and dean was about to find out if you were going to be his or not.

he must’ve been staring too long, for the faint blush that danced across your cheeks looked like a blooming rose on the spring solstice. you opened your door a little wider, breathing a small, ‘hi dean’ that the man in question didn’t even hear. he was to busy admiring the vision in front of him.

the pinks and pastels of your room swam around him like a void, reminding dean that he was in your territory now. whatever you said goes, and dean had no say in it whatsoever.

his sock clad feet slipped a little as he moved to sit on your bed, frilly sheets scrunching beneath him as he stared up at your looming frame. you stood stagnant by the door, hands around your body like you could disappear at any moment.

“so,” dean breathed awkwardly, a cough leaving his lips as he mentally beat himself up for the awkward moment he just brought forth. “have you come to your verdict, angel?”

straight to the point. you didn’t know if you liked that about him or it terrified you in this situation. though in the moment, you couldn’t help but let the flood gate of all your thoughts open, allowing yourself to fully bare your soul to dean winchester.

“you’re not a bad man, dean winchester,” you watched as his eyes widened, watching as you walked a little ways closer to where he sat on your bed. “but you believe you are. you let what happened to you as a child get the best of you, allow how you were raised and all the messed up shit that came after it to define you.”

as harsh as the words were, dean understood that he needed to hear it. he also understood that as an angel, you probably didn’t know how blunt you were being.

“because of all that, you build up walls, and you push people away.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you awkwardly wrung your fingers together as you spoke your next words. “you pushed me away, dean.”

shaking his head, dean attempted to stand up, wanting to reach out to you in comfort and tell you how sorry he was. “i know angel, and i’m so-“

“i’m not finished.” you spoke softly, lightly pushing him back down on the bed. you bent down yourself, lowering your body until you were in dean’s lap. you could see the shock in his eyes, but his hands immediately went to your waist, holding you steady so you’d didn’t fall.

“you pushed me away dean,” your hands carded through his hair, moving them down so you could cup his cheeks. dean immediately leant into your touch, eyes half lidded in content. “but you don’t need to do that. you put up these walls, allow yourself to believe that everyone is out to get you. but i’m not. i’m here for you dean, i always will be.”

watching as dean turned his head to kiss your palm, his brilliant green eyes flashed as his lids opened, vibrant and now full of life. “please tell me you mean that.” he breathed, voice soft in disbelief. “please tell me this isn’t some joke. that after all i did to you, you would still want to give me a chance.”

smiling, you leaned in a pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “you deserve all the chances i’m willing to give, dean.”

you’ve never seen a smile so bright, like pure sunlight bathing your room. it was beautiful, and as dean leaned in to hug you, burying his face in your neck, you could feel it tickle against your skin.

as dean moved his face in front of yours, preparing to lean in to deliver a kiss on your lips, you stopped him with your finger on his own, a joking smile on your lips. “ahh ahh, winchester,” you breathed, hand moving to lightly tap his cheek. “not so fast. you were really mean to me when we first met. so if you want to kiss me, i want you to get on your knees and beg for it.”

his lips parted in disbelief, eyes locking with yours as he gaged the expression in your eyes. “you can’t be serious?”

dean honestly had no idea where you got that from. a movie you watched, some video that came across your computer, dean didn’t know. but as you swung your legs off of his lap, standing a few feet in front of him with your arms crossed in front of your chest, he knew you were being serious.

“tick tock, dean,” you teased, foot tapping on the ground in joking impatience. “i don’t know how bad you’re wanting to kiss me, but i could wait here all day.”

that was a lie. both you and dean knew it as such. but dean liked this side of you; the joking and less serious version that’s smile grew so big it crinkled your eyes. so with a mischievous smirk on his lips, dean slid of the bed and fell to his knees, arms going around your waist and chin resting on your stomach.

you placed your hands in his hair, melting under his gaze as those damn green eyes stared up at you through thick lashes.

“sweet girl, i am so sorry for how i treated you. please, find it in your heart to forgive me.” the smile on his lips was joking, a smirk that matched your own grin. though you could still here some truth in his words.

letting a giggle rip through your lips, you ruffled his hair a bit, watching as his smile widened with yours. “okay, okay. get up here you goof, and kiss me before i change my mind.”

dean didn’t have to be told twice. with such speed you almost got knocked over if it wasn’t for hands clutching your waist, dean stood up and pressed his lips to yours. his hands were on your waist, holding you upright with one of them snaking up your back.

the kiss was passionate, a testament to all the feelings you two kept covered. dean’s lips covered yours with no remorse, a soft yet relenting pressure that had you seeing stars.

your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling at the strands of hair at the back of his head. the groan the emanated from his throat rumbled in your mouth, making your body arch into his touch.

with one quick swoop, dean pulled away and lifted you up bridal style, spinning you around as you squealed in his ear. he then lightly placed you on your bed, hovering over and pressing feather like kisses to yours skin that felt like the melody of an angels song.

“i’ll never leave you,” he breathed into your cupid’s bow, breath mingling with yours as he panted heavily. “you and me? we’re in it for the long run. those walls i put up, i’ll break them down just so you could come in and get warm. but only for you, my darling girl.” you just smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck for a second time so you could bring his body on top of yours.

that is how you two fell asleep, dean eclipsing your body as he nuzzled deeply into your neck. it was perfect, something you didn’t know you needed when you sobbed underneath that wilting willow, but now something you couldn’t live without.

TAGS: @floralscented @deansbeer @titsout4jackles @haunteres @honeyryewhiskey @starzify @fallbhind @rubyvhs @foolinthera1n @taurus-0-queenie-33 @vaiieydoii @bitchykittenconnoisseur @galacticalllcafffeine @jasvtsc @pascal-rascal424 @annoyingstrawberryballoon @fayeisuppose @angel-inspiredblog @geisterfvhrer @bluemerakis @si1ver06 @drqstqr @wh0s-ra3 @supernatural-bangtanboys @whump-loverz @mostlymarvelgirl @d3anwinchesterswife @youdontknowe @oceanolokys @chxrrybobaby-sin @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @hoyoooo @misatxox

*we love a man who grovels😏😻

[quietwingsinthesky]

something very tragic about looking at dean's relationships with most of the women he knows especially through an aro!dean lens because he so clearly wants deeper relationships with them but because he's dean and has Problems and A Role To Perform, he can only allow himself to have it through romantic attachments that he isn't even comfortable with.

[stargazedwinchester]

Hey, for a request, how about an earlier seasons Dean x Reader scenario in which they got a little crush and flirting going on, sparks between them, but Dean's a little worried that John won't approve? 👀

Your texting moodboard and the image of the "I love you. Don't reply, this is my dad's number" kinda inspired this idea!

Forbidden ♡ Dean

Summary: John doesn't approve of you dating his son, Dean. Word Count: 1,037 Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader Thank you for requesting ily!! I love this bc I love JDM <3 what a dilf A little bit of Negan came out here (sorry not sorry)

When your parents passed in such a cruel, sadistic way, Dean was the one that saved you. He was the one that introduced you to hunting, to really get a feel for the life that could’ve been if you knew you could save your parents.

That gnaws at you every damn day.

At this point, you had known Dean for roughly a year, joining him on late night drives to dive bars, drinking til you can’t see. You’d stay with him in motels close to your hometown, just for the sake of company. You don’t have a lot here anymore. No close family, old school friends turned acquaintances, so you can really just rely on Dean and his younger brother, Sam.

Oh, and John.

John is a tough nut to crack. Majority of the time, you can’t tell when he’s being genuine or an absolute dick. You know Sam and Dean had a tough childhood with him not being present enough in their lives, so that fact has already somewhat helped you decide from the get-go. You had tried multiple times in the past to get on his good side: trying to get to know him, stay friendly with his sons, and most importantly, stay out of his way.

“You wanna come with?” Dean invites, pulling his jacket over his shoulders. His dad sits in the front seat of the impala, waiting for Dean to finish up. “You think he’ll let me?” You peer at John, his eyebrows scrunched, glaring at Dean. Dean looks over his shoulder, John ushering him to hurry up. “Hell what he thinks. Come with me.”

You press your lips together firmly, believing that if you join them, it’ll end badly. “Dean.” He calls, his voice stern and impatient. “We need to go.” John rolls the window up, and Dean rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t like me, does he?” You focus your eyes on Dean, who shakes his head lightly. “He doesn’t like anyone. Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll figure something out.” He flashes you a quaint smile that makes your tummy do somersaults. You place a peck on his cheek, and he blushes almost immediately. “I’ll miss you.” He says, and you smile. Dean walks down toward the car, then drives off.

It’s been a couple of weeks, and you haven’t heard much from Dean except the odd text from random numbers. One read: ‘I Love You. Don’t reply. This is my dad’s number.’ Times like these make you ill with worry. Worry that Dean’s not safe and there’s nothing you can do. You trust that he can take care of himself and you care for him deeper than you’d like to admit.

A few hours go by and you find yourself nose-deep in your book, ruminating in the same motel room as before. Dean had mentioned about being gone for a day or two, so he paid for your room on your behalf. There’s some light commotion outside. Since the voile is practically see-through, all you can see is the motel sign gleaming through the window. The rowing gets louder, as you see two male figures almost butting heads close to your room. Putting your book down, you head over to the window and see John and Dean in each other’s faces. Again.

“She’s not an issue, dad! You haven’t even given her a chance!” Dean spits. “I don’t need to give her a chance when I’ve seen enough. You need to give her up.” John retorts, and Dean pinches his brow line. “I’m not giving her up just because you say so, dad! I really like her, so get off my ass, man.” Dean attempts to turn around, but John pulls him back. “I’m not done.” He says sternly. John forces himself to be eye to eye with Dean, his cavillous demeanour ignites a fire inside you. He carries on.

“Listen, man, you don’t get to have an apple-pie life. End of the day she’ll be the first one to run when the bullet flies - and you know what? You’ll end up being the one to pick up the pieces, or the one that gets killed. So don’t you dare come back to me when you realise how much you regret being with her and you wanna come back to hunting. It ain’t gonna happen. Once you give up your life here; there’s no going back.” He threatens. John’s eyes are dark. Menacing. You feel as if you’re rewatching Dean’s teenage years reappear right in front of you. He has always mentioned that his father is a very strict person when it comes to ‘protecting’ his boys. That’s what he calls it. You open the door and meet them halfway. John turns his head and notices the scowl on your face, his aura stagnant. “John.” You state, not even bothering to make eye contact with Dean, but you can feel him staring at you. “I don’t care what you think about me, but what you’re saying to your son is far from the truth.” You say.

“You don’t know me. You clearly don’t know your own son and you have no idea about us being together. I don’t care whether you approve of me or not, but what I’m trying to say is that I love Dean. He may be your child but he’s sure as shit nothin’ like you.” You assert yourself, and John’s demeanour changes. His eyes soften, gazing upon your whole body. He looks at Dean, then huffs. Dean almost refuses to look his father in his eyes, as if he’s scared of what he could say next.

A smirk creeps up on Johns face as he’s still looking at you. His posture relaxes as he lets out a small laugh.”You’re the first person to ever stand up to me about my boys. You’ve got balls, Y/N. I like that.” John says, which takes you by surprise. This whole time you assumed John didn’t like you, turns out it’s quite the opposite. “You’re headstrong and you’ll look after my kid. You may not seek my approval but I’m giving it to you.” Jon looks over at Dean, who’s just as shocked as you are. “Thank you, sir.” You nod, and John walks back to the car. Dean sighs.

“Well, that could’ve gone a lot worse. I was starting to get a little worried.” He looks at you with a shine in his eyes, one that screams ‘my-father-finally-agrees-with-something-i’ve-done’.

“Thank God.” You breathe. Dean takes your hand and walks you toward the car. He opens the back passenger door, planting a kiss on your lips. “That’s my girl.”