#Dazai 'i have no such tastes in man' Osamu telling someone 'well actually' is very fun

[venelona]

Atsushi I think Dazai got a case here

Fanart for a fanfic 'A Conflict Of The Mind' by @blchwaaaan for day 3 of @dazatsuweek - Amnesia 💖

Oh how the tables have turned

[smoochi-dazai]

can i request a fluffy dazai x reader,, where dazai & reader celebrate after a successful mission or something,, and they go to a bar to drink,, and reader is actually the type of person who gets drunk really fast so dazai needs to take care of them and reader ends up confessing to dazai. reader is like,, flirty + giggly drunk. bonus if dazai teases them about it next morning hehe,, ty in advance!!

✿ “ Love & Champaign ” ✿

—> Bungo Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu | Reader

—> Sweet | Oneshot

—> Description | after one too many drinks for the celebration, you find yourself in a daze while staring at Dazai. Slurred flirts lead to a confession, will you handle the embarrassment? 

—> Little note | not gonna lie, this is like my... my favourite so far.i got carried away tonight haha. 3.8k words! HhhH I got too distracted by cuteness, it’s almost 2am. I started this at 10pm I think. Please enjoy! Sorry if it’s a mess 💕 came from the heart and I never plan ahead for this stuff haha. I just write it as it flows from my soul. 

Shifting her weight, the women of familiarity sat comfortably next to Dazai on a tall wooden stool. Her beautiful eyes seemed to grasp onto his heart as she held an angelic appearance. That far off look in her dilated pupils due to the dim lighting, a thoughtless expression purely in her eyes alone- he found it unimaginably attractive. Observing each small detail from the flush on her cheeks to the strands of hair framing her face perfectly.

That woman is you.

The same very person who was invited by none other then Dazai himself to have a drink together, a celebration for a hard task full day at work.

“ So, How come you ordered an extra glass of champagne? ” You inquired, “ Did you invite someone to come drink with us? ”

Glancing to your right, the bartender was the first to gently set the glass half-full of rather expensive wine on the counter you sat at. He was friendly, much older than you or Dazai by appearance. Without a word, he set yours and Dazais glass’s down before leaving you two on your own.

“ It’s for a friend, he won’t be showing up tonight. ” Dazai muttered softly.

“ If he won’t be here, then how come you bought the drink? ” You pushed on for some kind of answer to satisfy the curiosity, looking away from the mysterious drink. Your eyes now focused on Dazai, he held a faint smile while staring at his glass of alcohol. Eyes downcast, appearing to be lost in his thoughts.

As his lips part, Dazai lets out a gentle sigh. Opening his mouth more to find words to reach you, nothing came out. Shutting it again, Dazai raised his hand to the glass, however— instead of picking it up to taste the alcoholic drink, a slight chime echoed through the bar from Dazai flicking the glass once. The spherical ice began to bob up and down in the glass, vibrations from the clash gave him a familiar sense of nostalgia.

Finally, he spoke up.

“ Odasaku. He, Ango and I would often meet here to talk. Those days are long gone now, however. ”

Something in Dazais tone seemed off, you were all too aware of his masks to hide the scars of his past. It was tough, you knew it was— not only for him but you as well. Whenever you’d try to convince him to vent his pain, he’d laugh it off and ask what you were talking about.

Something about those situations always made you hurt, the feeling of uselessness would grasp your heart. Making it almost hard to breathe, the feeling of being unable to help Dazai when his eyes held so much pain he’d try to hideaway. It wasn’t healthy— you wanted to help him but never found yourself capable of doing.

Staying silent, the two of you seemed more distant than ever. In an attempt to clear the atmosphere, you thought of a silly idea that may help. Sliding your drink closer to Odasakus, you found yourself tap the two glasses against each other. As a form of cheers to Odasaku even though he wasn’t quite there to see. The sound of two glasses made Dazai lift his head, staring at you in slight confusion and bewilderment.

“ Cheers,” You exclaim in a hushed tone, “ I never got to meet you. But from all the stories I hear from Dazai, you were a brilliant man. ”

Speechless, Dazai’s gaze leaves your back as soon as you begin to turn around. His own flush of blush began to sink into his skin, thinking over your odd interaction with his past friend. Lifting his drink, a warm smile met his lips.

“ Hey, how about a toast? ” Dazais voice caught your attention, lifting your glass to his.

“ Sure, what’ll it be for this time? ” Assuming it’ll be for your hard day of work at the detective's agency, it somehow didn’t surprise you with what he had said next.

“ To the Stray Dogs. ”

Dazais features held an enchanting smile, cheeks rose while a faint flush could be spotted. Not enough to notice unless you’re close, along with the lighting it was hard to point out. He seemed to genuinely be enjoying himself, just you— him and don’t forget Odasaku.

“ Before we do that, give me a second. ”

You seemed to confuse Dazai more by the minute, yet it seemed to amuse him the more you did so. It wasn’t common for something to surprise that man. It gave him a refreshing chill.

Still holding up your glass, you carefully reach over for Odasakus as well. Lifting it, both hands were now full. Your smile looked ridiculous at this point from the amount of sheer joy. It started to hurt honestly, but you didn’t mind at all. Preparing to have a toast, both glasses were held high for Dazai to join you on the toast in celebration. After a moment of silence, Dazai pushed his glass forward in the air. Hearing the clatter between three glasses, more nostalgia hit him.

“ To the stray dogs! ” / “ To the stray dogs. ” You both say in unison.

Mismatching smiles were viable as you set Odasakus drink back down before downing yours a little too quickly. Meanwhile, Dazai takes a small sip of his, feeling the burning sensation of beer rush down his system.

Both Dazai and you were always pretty close friends within the agency, maybe it was because you somehow tolerated his nonsense without having to smack him. He didn’t find you that interesting from afar, yet now he can never get that side glanced look out of his head from before. You were something he adored, something he found as a sort of coping mechanism from the pain he truly felt within his hollow heart. He never saw you as something similar to him, you were full of life, a flame that never seemed to falter or be brushed away by the gusts of wind.

A deadly nightshade in his system that refused to leave—no matter his aggression, you were always at his side. He’d push you away, he’d raise his voice and tell you how wrong you are when you make absurd accusations of who he really is. Little did you know, they were all true. Or were you aware? Was that why you never seemed dazed by his harsh words? Either way, he knew you both wouldn’t have the chance to get any closer. Always being caught up in work was a struggle, you were just like the rest of the agency. Just a stranger to him deep down— why did the idea make his heart clench? Was his body telling himself another story then he had thought? Truth be told, he couldn’t tell what his feelings for you had been.

“ Hey... Osamu? ”

The thought of falling in love with you was odd. But at the same time, just the idea made butterflies swell up within his stomach. You were incredibly strange, but so was he.

“ Osamu~ ” You whined while leaning closer to him, scooting your stool closer and closer without him noticing. Was he that out of it?

Finally snapping out of it, the feeling of warmth brushing against his skin caught him at a somewhat vulnerable point. Gazing to the source of heat, he came to the realization you were calling his name. But not just any name, not your usual ‘Dazai’ it was his first name that escaped your plump lips. A giant pout was adorned in your features as you lean closer to his face. He lifted a hand to the part where your breath hit his neck, feeling the hairs stand.

“ Hey, stop ignoring me- Osamu! ”

As his eyes met with hers, she started giggling. Leaning away from the bandaged man known as Dazai, she smiles childishly. Both legs swing back and forth.

“ Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? They’re like yummy chocolate...” You chant to yourself and him. “ You’re so handsome~ I’m almost jealous! ”

This was not common for you to be so straight forward, and going by the sudden change in attitude Dazai could only assume you’d already gotten yourself drunk. Sighing deeply, he could only pray you wouldn’t be as much of a handful as Chūya had on his off days.

Speaking of which, either you got drunk abnormally quick— or he was a little too trapped in his thoughts.

Observing your every motion, Dazai put his drink to side calmly. Never once losing his composure, an amused smirk makes his way to his lips. Oh, how he’s going to enjoy teasing you in the morning— he can only wonder how many embarrassing things he could make you say tonight.

“ Thank you, I think you’re rather beautiful yourself. ” Dazai said, the smile remaining in place which only seemed to encourage your flirts unexpectedly.

“ You say that to every girl, ” You mutter, leaning closer to him again while squinting your eyes. Feeling a little light-headed, or did you feel heavier? You couldn’t tell. “ Your smirking is ever hotter... nngh, you’re so perfect~ how do women complain about you so much. If you value that double suicide thingy, doesn’t that just mean your that much more committed? To end everything with them? ”

Dazai decided to reply with a small hum, lifting his glass and taking a sip of his leftover drink. Yours meanwhile had been empty to awhile, how did you manage to get drunk over a single glass? Or did you get another without his eyes catching you? Frankly, he didn’t care, amused with the scenario at play. Something caught his attention though, you’d always disagree with his requests for a lover's suicide while sober. But now you’re complaining about other women not wanting to do it. Does this mean you actually wouldn’t mind going to such extreme lengths with him? God, he was in for a lot tonight. He could tell.

“ You always have a cute smile, you’re talented as hell— ” your speech was replaced with a small fit of giggles, tears escaping your eyes which mildly concerned him for a moment, “ You never fail to make laugh... when I cry, you’re there for me through it all. Maybe your ability is right, you aren’t human! ”

A small laugh escapes Dazais throat at your slurred nonsense, Dazai then enlightens you on his thoughts.

“ If I’m not human,” Dazai began, shifting his body to look at your questioningly, an eyebrow lifted while the other furrowed. “ ...then what would I be, Belladonna?”

“ An angel! ”

Did he hear you right? Was he, the ex-port mafia member— titled as an angel in disguise?

You almost seemed in awe at your own words, making it twice as amusing for him. Before he could even speak, you interrupted his thoughts again.

“ Osamu? Am I allowed to be in love with an angel? Can a human fall for an angel without consequence... will you leave me behind to go to heaven by yourself? ” You questioned him in an unsure whisper, fatigue showing more than the bright red flush coating your cheeks. Those half-lidded eyes gave you away, but you seemed to still manage to keep your consciousness.

Dazai takes a moment to grasp what your spiral of words meant, was this a form of confession? Did you feel that way about him, or were they meaningless drunk words? Surely they had to be, but something about your saddened eyes ... Dazai thought of it plenty of times and found himself really picking his words carefully.

“ I’m not any kind of angel, but I’m sure you’ll find an angel to love you someday. My true nature is nothing but evil, Belladonna. I’m sorry, I can’t be your angel— even if I want too...” Dazai apologized with a more sadden tone, smiling slightly as he brushed his hand through your messy hair.

Both your stools were sat so close, you practically could lean against him safely without falling. And that’s exactly what you found yourself doing.

“ But even Lucifer was once an angel... why can’t you be mine—Osamu, if you can’t be my angel... then... ” Lifting your head off his shoulder, your lazy hands lift to cup his face.

“ Be my handsome- my.. partner in crime, my own Lucifer. ” You mutter close to his ear, something about your tone was somewhat alluring and even seductive. Shutting your eyes tightly while leaning in, your noses brushed against each other, then as you tilted your head you brush your lips against his as if asking for some kind of permission- there was hesitation for a split second. Only for your lips to connect with his forcefully, that’s what sealed the deal. Would he pull away? You desperately held onto him, though your grasp was rather weak due to alcohol in your system.

An abnormal feeling in his heart appeared again, it began to pound in his ears faster by the second— even skipping a couple of beats. What was this? Why did he feel this way, he didn’t deserve it- so why did God bless him with you. Was there a god? If he agreed, would you be willing to go to depths of hell with him, just for some silly love? No, it was more than that for you. You had genuine feelings for him, you cared for the suicidal maniac. His eyes remain open during the kiss, feeling a presence behind you. That’s when he saw a distant light at the door of Lupins bar. There stood Odasaku, smiling at him.

Was this right? Odasaku once said Dazai would never find something to fill that void in his heart. Yet his heart felt like it could burst at any second, tears began to brim his eyes while Odasakus blurry image faded. As the first tear slides down Dazais cheek, he wrapped both arms around your waist, shutting his eyes during the kiss to enjoy you. Pressing your body closer with his than ever before, the kiss deepened. It was so incredibly sloppy, but it was perfect for all its imperfections.

Even if his demons were to ever return, Dazai would protect you just as Odasaku did for him. Odasaku saved Dazai from imaginable darkness in the Mafia, even if it put him through pain- he’s met so many kinder people in the light. Meeting a new world, a world more beautiful and full of colour,

Odasaku standing there almost felt as it’s own congratulations, not to only his hard work- but he was proud of Dazai. The tears pour uncontrollably while the kiss lasted for almost a whole minute. Both pulling away, they panted together- taking each other’s breath away completely. Pulling you into his chest, Dazai combed back your hair, allowing you to rest against him for a while in blissful silence.

He couldn’t let you see him tear up like this. All he cared about now, was his pure happiness. The idea of his lonely days being brushed away now swept away with the wind. He knew this won’t cure his pain, and it hurt to remember. So all he tried to do was forget that pain for a minute, allowing you to take over his mind.

He loves you.

And now that he understood the feelings were mutual? Dazai could maybe learn to be himself more often with you around.

After a while of his deep thoughts, Dazais bandaged arm around your waist relaxed. While your body fell limp against him, you were knocked out cold. Smiling to himself, Dazai looked at the bartender's familiar smile- it was the same person who worked there from ages ago.

Taking you out for a drink wasn’t a mistake after all, though the idea of Kunikida getting pissed with you two because you’ll probably have a pretty bad hangover in the morning at work is gonna be troublesome. Guess it’s an excuse to stay home with you.

“ I’ll be your Lucifer, as long as you continue being my beautiful Belladonna. ” Smiling gently to himself, Dazai began to lift you off of him. Slipping off the stool, he changed your position. One arm was beneath your knees while the other hoisted up to your back. Holding you close to his chest, he thanked the bartender and left the bar. Three glasses were left behind on the table.

In the morning, you woke up feeling sick to your stomach. A pounding heartbeat was left ringing in your head as you sat up in your bed, when did you ever return home? Struggling to remember what happened in the bar with Dazai, you throw your legs off your bed. Lifting yourself, you began to stumble. Suddenly a buzz came from your phone, tripping over your own feet you fall into your bed again. Groaning tiredly, you felt so weak right now. What in the world? How much did you drink last night to get like this... oh yeah- the phone. Lazily throwing your hand up onto your bedside table, you search for your phone. Only for someone else to take it from you. Lifting your head from the mattress, your eyes widen at the sight of a shirtless Dazai. Feeling self-conscious you then realize you were wearing next to nothing either. Suddenly your face bursts into flames, becoming a stuttering mess.

“ Dazai- w-we didn’t do anything bad last night did we? ” You blurted out, he took notice of your embarrassment and smiles innocently.

“ Of course not, we just came to your house and I helped you strip to sleep easier~ your body is incredibly hot if I do say so myself, Belladonna. Shame you hide it all the time. ”

“ You’re one to talk Dazai, always covered in b- wait... you stripped me?! ” more flush coated your cheeks, picking up a pillow— you threaten to throw it at Dazai. Almost I’m que, your head suddenly began to pound again, throwing the pillow at his feet instead.

Concerned, Dazai rushed out of the room to get you some water. Returning to the room to find you holding your mouth and stomach while hunching over, he could only worry more while crouching down. Lifting your head gently, he held the glass of water to your lips.

“ Drink it slowly,” he instructed almost like a parent or some boyfriend, worried about your health. He guessed the teasing must be saved for later, your health is a priority to him. Unless...

Following the orders, you grasp the cup in his hand while he still assisted with a simple task. It was rather endearing, who knew Dazai could be so gentle. The water went down smoothly, feeling a little clearer in the head at least. But then suddenly you felt it begin to come back up- dashing out of your room you find your bathroom.

Dazai chases after you, finding you hunched over the Toilet gagging. It wasn’t an attractive scene, in the slightest. But he found himself smile- remembering last night.

Kneeling to your height, his hand gently caressed your back. Soothing you slightly as you confuse to gag- he remained at your side through it all. As your system felt clearer it finally ended, lifting your head from the toilet bowl, you flush the toilet. Staring nervously back at Dazai, “ I’m sorry you have to see me like this, I hope I wasn’t a handful last night. I hardly remember anything, what I do know is it gave me a massive headache though. ” You curse out loud, head refusing to give you any mercy.

“ It’s alright, I know it’s rough the first couple drinks. ” Dazai smiles, it was so sincere you couldn’t help but question what lightened his mood so much. You weren't complaining though, it made your heart flutter. “ Not only that, but you said some pretty bold things while you were drunk~ ”

Oh god. You knew it was coming- the bastard was prepared to tease you for how long now?... oh sweet god.

Dramatically throwing his arms around him, he began to wiggle.

“ You’re so handsome~ oh you’re perfect Osamu~!” He teased, enjoying how embarrassed you got. “ Be my Lucifer! You muttered in my ear, ah~ Belladonna your way with words made my heart soar. ”

“ Shut up, there is no way I said all of that to you. ”

“ Playing denial now are we, my sweet Belladonna?~ want me to continue? ” Dazai challenged, it was all playful but it still had you fuming with frustration and embarrassment.

“ Do I even have a choice? ” You frown, feeling defeated. And while you complain, the small awkward smile and blush gave away your true emotions.

“ This time, you do. ”

To your surprise, his words took you a moment to understand. Looking at him disbelief, you saw a playful smirk- that smirk was way too damn attractive yet the dangerous intent was terrifying.

“ Just kidding~ how could I let a chance like this pass up? ”

Knew it.

“ Though, I do have a question. ” Dazais tone suddenly becomes more serious, no longer as playfully and happy-go-lucky as before. Leaving you confused, until he lifted you off the ground. Pulling you into a hug, you could feel his breath against your ear.

“ If all you said is true, would you commit a lover's suicide with me someday? ” The question seemed a little too silly but a part of you couldn’t turn it down at this very moment, maybe because of how serious he seemed while saying it.

“ Maybe?... ” You whisper back weakly, unsure of yourself.

“ Let me rephrase,” Dazais grasp on you became stronger until he pushed you away a little, just enough for you to be face to face. Holding your shoulders, his arms snake around your waist instead in a split second- eyes staring deeply into yours.

“ Will you be mine? ”

In reality, he was just repeating what you had told him many times during that drunken state, but the fact he was the one to ask you out here in your home? You could faint again. Nodding with a small smile, you tried to hold back a stupid goofy grin. With that response, Dazai holds you close to him, his arms felt so secure- you couldn’t help but relax under his touch.

You two finally were official, and you were both finally happy. He found his reason to live and even received Odasakus approval. But it wouldn’t end at that, oh no.

“ You know this isn’t saving you from my teasing, yes? ” Dazai chuckles, sending shivers down your spine while expecting only the best of the worst for your fate. You were defeated, but the happiness distracted you from the cruelty of his future teasing.

“ I wouldn’t have it any other way, Dork. ”

Tags : @i-am-a-bastard @writing-for-me-at-this-point @soukokuwu 

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 5: One’s desires (Part 3)

Warnings: insecurities, mention of drugs, minors drinking

Author notes: a lot of insecurities in chapter 5, I hope you won’t find it too annoying... But I felt it was necessary, somehow. Do tell me, though, I would stop the scheduling to rework on it!

"Bleach cocktail, bartender...!" Dazai-san cheerfully ordered, dropping his coat onto a stool and sitting right after.

Bar Lupin was quiet, and there was no customer except us, just as usual. The underground bar seemed the only place one could call peaceful for people like us, living in the shadows of the world. I sat next to my superior, without a word. I had been there several times, already, escorting him to his meetings with his friends, Oda-san and Sakaguchi-san, but rarely alone with him. I did not know how to behave in such a situation...

His drink was gently put in front of him, and I glanced at its clear colour — so different from the usual whisky we both drank.

"Mmh~ This smell of cleaning products~" He chuckled, bringing the glass to his lips.

The reasonable part of my brain probably was aware there was no bleach nor other toxic ingredients in the cocktail, for the bartender was someone trustworthy, but I could not stop my hand from jerking toward him to stop his moves.

"Heh~? Is there a problem, Ogawa-kun~?"

My senses came back to me, and I immediately backed away from him, absolutely awkward.

"I... Thought... Nonsense..." I mumbled, embarrassingly playing with my hands "I acted without thinking..."

"I know~" He chuckled "I expected as much from teasing you~"

"Y-You predicted I would try to stop you...?"

"That's the point of teasing." He smiled "But somehow, I'm glad you acted expectedly."

"I wouldn't want you to die... The Port Mafia needs you..." I justified, looking away.

"The Port Mafia... Eh?"

He looked disappointed by my answer. Now, I wondered what he wanted me to say, but I could not go and admit I needed him too, could I...? It would be completely unprofessional, and our relationship was not meant to go any further. I was already plenty grateful for him allowing me to live, what more could my greedy mind ask for...?

"Whisky on the rocks, please..." I ordered, eyes lost in the imperfections on the wooden counter.

Jazz music played quietly in the background, filling in the comfortable silence that had set up around us. In there, the cold from outside would not reach us, and we were given a timeless moment, far from the crimes and horror we committed out of duties. The atmosphere was warm, almost unreal, but it felt good, serene. When Oda-san and Sakaguchi-san were not there, Dazai-san was not as talkative, but his moves, his look and his being, in general, seemed to send wordless messages in the air. I tried to see and guess what he could be thinking. Was he disappointed his friends could not come? It was not disappointment I read in his eyes. Rather, melancholy...? Or perhaps was he just lost in his thoughts and his eyes scrutinised his drink without actually seeing it. His fingers traced the edge of the glass, slowly, creating the most calming tinting sound, and the ice melted, shaking the thin walls of glass around it and disrupting the silence.

He was wondering why he was still alive... Again. Silently, he was looking for a way to end his tired life, but his numerous suicide attempts had never once succeeded. I took a sip of my whisky, enjoying the rich taste of the alcohol before the ice could melt and ruin it. I was sitting right next to him, yet Dazai-san seemed so far away, mind gone to a place I had no access to. He was still unattainable, after all...

"Why the long face, Ogawa-kun?" He turned toward me.

"I-I don't... I mean... I'm not making a face..." I defended, taken aback.

"You don't seem happy to be there..."

"Not at all...! I am very glad to accompany you, Dazai-san... Only... You... You always seem elsewhere... So far... I feel I can never truly be by your side..." I muttered, fidgeting on the stool.

"But you are by my side..." He tilted his head slightly, as though not understanding "Right now, you are literally sitting next to me."

"I didn't mean it physically... I know I am there, with you, but you... You always look as though your mind is travelling around another world, another dimension that I have no access to... You always seem lost in thoughts and I... I can't read them..." I looked down "I can't understand what you think, I can't understand what you feel, and the more I am aware of it, the more it frustrates me and the more I feel estranged from you, Dazai-san... It is strange, too, because, whereas I do deeply want to know, I am always afraid to discover how you truly feel about me... Isn't that contradictory...?"

"You wouldn't want to read my mind, so that's better this way..." He hummed, bringing his glass to his lips "There is nothing in there that would relieve your concerns..."

"... Is that so...?" I glanced away, feeling bitter "Is that so... Does that mean you've... Lied to me...? Again...?"

"It is not that I lie to you, Ogawa-kun..." He sighed "It is simply that I... How to put that...? It is not quite natural to me... Behaving around you normally..."

"Normally as in... Not beating me...? Nor yelling at me...?" I frowned, pained.

It hurt. It hurt so much. None of his "care" was sincere... I should have known so, yet a part of me still hoped he somehow had genuine concerns about me. I had been pitifully played with, made into a loyal dog he could easily tame thanks to a few concerned words here and there... He was a master at manipulating people... I should have remembered this fact.

"That's not it, Ogawa-kun..." He rubbed his temples.

"Then, what is it, Dazai-san...?" I resisted my urge to cry.

Seeing as he did not answer, I stood up and headed toward the restroom, not without taking a syringe of morphine from the pocket of my coat. I had not used my ability, but I needed, oddly enough, the relief provided by drugs. I needed to feel the morphine coursing through my blood vessels, annihilating any kind of pain, even if, obviously, my inner sufferings would never be calmed down by anaesthetics. If there was medicine which made people happy, I would gladly throw my entire savings away just to have a taste, but it did not exist, and would never exist. Or it did. It was called naivety.

When I came back to the counter, something was wrong; Dazai-san was nowhere to be seen. A rather burdening buzzing sound echoed in my ears, and my hands almost instantly felt moist as I walked toward the bartender, something heavy threatening to pour from my eyes.

"He... Left...?" I was barely able to ask "He left...?"

"He requested me to tell you not to worry about him. And that he regretted his previous words." He answered, drying a glass.

"It would not be bold to assume he paid, would it...?" I stayed stunned, staring at the man's swift moves.

"He did."

I slammed my fist on the counter, anger rushing to my brain.

"He's an idiot!!" I cursed, jaw trembling and tears threatening to come "My superior, the most capable person of the Mafia, is an actual idiot... Do you believe it...?"

"Sometimes, humans would rather run away than facing the people they hurt. It is a pretty much normal reaction, to me." He hummed, gently smiling at me "Does it not reassure you, to know that sometimes Dazai Osamu can be human?"

"It does..." I conceded "But as a fellow human, I am hurt. It hurts so much, inside... It burns my lungs..."

"Then, what are you still doing here, talking with this old man...? I am not the one you should say these words to." He chuckled.

"I am afraid, too... I start to understand now... Running away..."

"You are not allowed to stay here." He said, more firmly "Because you know how to use words to voice your feelings, and it would be a shame not to say them out loud, would it not?"

I understood. I understood immediately what I had to do. I grabbed my coat and rushed outside, thanking the bartender before closing the door. It was so cold... Above my head and the dark alley, the sky was darkened by both the night and the clouds, from which small flakes of snow fell, to land delicately on Yokohama, soundlessly, quietly. It would have been with much joy I would have taken the time to enjoy the snow, but I had a task to complete, as a subordinate, and as a person who cared about another. I merely took time to carelessly put my trench coat onto my shoulders, and followed the way toward the headquarters, where I knew he had gone back. There was nowhere else he would go to, except perhaps his own apartment, but without being aware of its location, the Port Mafia was the only place I could search.

Besides, he knew me well. He had surely foreseen my reaction. He had surely predicted I would run after him, and maybe had purposely left traces, hints, to indicate his route. If he was simply trying to tease me again, oh, he would hear my complaints days and nights for an undetermined amount of time. I was not very familiar with him; I could not afford to behave as more than a subordinate around him. Nevertheless, I did allow myself to correct him when he was wrong. He was definitely wrong, this time.

"Dazai-san..." I recognised his tall silhouette "Dazai-san...!"

The snow covering the alley hid its pavement; my foot got caught in one of them, and the world went upside down, so suddenly.

Yet, my body never hit the ground and, instead, I felt caught and secured by a pair of bandaged arms, which immediately retracted once I was back on my two feet. It would be troublesome if he were to cancel my ability just now... For he would have to carry me all the way back to the headquarters or my room.

"Ogawa-kun...?" He frowned.

"Dazai-san, I... I do not —"

"I thought you would not come..." He confessed "I thought you would stay at the bar and hate me..."

Why would he consider such extremities...?

"I would never hate you, Dazai-san... I've told you, I will never hate you... I want to apologise; I should not have —"

"It is normal that you must take your morphine income... You are an addict, if you don't, you will feel bad." He looked away "And I... Ran away... Cowardly..."

"I do not mind..."

"How could you not?"

"I mean... It hurts a lot... It pains me to know you are trying so hard to act nice toward me... It did pain me too, noticing you had gone, leaving me behind... But my sufferings... My sufferings are meaningless compared to my loyalty. No matter what you do, how you act and what you say to me, I will never hate you and will never wish to leave your side... I am your lieutenant, after all..." I cracked a small smile, looking down "But I do not want you to force yourself around me... Please, do not feel the pressure to be 'nice' toward me, Dazai-san... I would rather leave, if I am a —"

"You are going to say 'burden', aren't you...?" He answered my smile "It is not that I strive to be caring... Deeply, I want you to be fine, yet I am not sure how to behave... Sometimes, I will become violent, and I will not realise it... When I am with Odasaku and Ango, I know they understand, but you... I've hurt you too much to request your understanding..."

"I understand." I assured "I understand, so... Please be yourself, Dazai-san. So you never need to run away from me anymore..."

"I will strive to trust you, then..."

"I will wait..." I said, putting my coat on.

All the adrenaline had gone down and my body felt the striking cold accurately. My fingertips were reddened and my insides were shaking badly. I sniffed.

"For now..." I looked at my superior "Can we... Can we go back, please...?"

"Let's go, Ogawa-kun." He nodded.

His coat fell onto my shoulders, making me stare at him.

"You will catch a cold..." I started removing it.

"You keep it. My bandages are made to increase my body heat~"

"There is no way..." I raised an eyebrow.

"The alcohol —"

"Doesn't keep you warm." I finished "Dazai-san, I would feel terrible if you were to have the flu because of me...!"

"If I have the flu, then it is my fault." He shrugged it off "Because I am the one who insisted on giving you the coat."

I pouted, and picked up the pace so we could arrive more quickly to the headquarters.

His office was so warm after fighting against the cold, I immediately let myself fall onto a couch, appreciating the comfort of the soft cushions. Dazai-san, who had been more cheerful on the way back, suddenly changed his smile into a frown, and took large and hurried steps toward his desk. There, on the surface deprived of any document, laid an envelope. And I did not know why it annoyed him so much. I reached his side.

"That's for me...?" I frowned upon seeing my name written on the white paper.

"I hope it is not a trapped letter..." He narrowed his eyes "Although, knowing this handwriting, it might as well be..."

"Is it...?" I took the enveloppe between my fingers and flipped it to read the identity of the sender "The Boss...?!"

"Mmh..." He took it back.

I was worried. I had met Mori-san once, when I was fourteen, and he had appeared intimidating enough for me not to ever want to interact with him again. I did not want to get involved with that man. I felt he could break me with a single snap of his fingers, which frightened me. He had a kind of threatening aura, inducing fear instead of respect. Despite that, many subordinates were loyal to him, Nakahara-san being the first of them. I often saw him looking up to the Boss, the rare time I accompanied my superior and his partner in a mission.

"Let me open it." He said, and I nodded.

It did not explode nor did it spread a toxic gas, which relieved me at first. At the very least, he did not want us dead. Instead, I was agreeably surprised by the content of the letter.

"An invitation... To the party...?" My voice got caught in my throat.

"What is he planning...?" Dazai-san gritted his teeth.

"I am only a lieutenant, I can't possibly —"

"If he sent it and you don't show up, he will kill you. Or worse." He clicked his tongue "That's too late now, even I can't do anything about it..."

"You..." I glanced at his face "Did not want me to get involved with him, did you...? That's why you... Earlier..."

"That's why I asked Odasaku to come with me instead of you, indeed. He has seen through my intentions..."

"Why would the Boss want to see me...? When we met, you told me he had had his eyes on me, but I thought it was as an ability user..."

"As an ability user... I'm afraid I understand what he wants to do." He sighed heavily "Since you've set foot in the organisation, he's been wanting to introduce you to a subordinate of his. I've always tried to postpone that event, yet he has found the perfect opportunity... For now, let's just wait and see. Perhaps I am overthinking it..."

"Understood, Dazai-san." I received his orders.

But deep inside, I was quite glad I could go to the party with him.

[dearosamu]

DESPERADO - PARADISO

SYPNOSIS: she, a dancer with personified problems all the while more that intrigues osamu dazai who came into her life amidst the chaos that is [name] [last name].

note ; decided to post my dazai fanfic here !! making banners are fun. majority of the chapters are unedited btw.

WARNING/S: mentions of alcohol + consumption of it, implied nsfw (?)

more under the cut. [ will make masterlist soon ]

+ one - two

dazai is a man of many things. he has his needs, sure, as he would being one of the richest business man in yokohama and thanks to his success, a treat were to be served later that friday night.

though he was not familiar with the scene - flashing lights, blasting music from the speakers around and the thick air of intoxication was enough to make you dizzy and swirl around alone without the help of any alchohol.

not that it mattered to him at all, dazai downed the shot, grimacing slightly as the taste of alchohol burned his throat.

being a ceo had its perks with all that money of course, dazai and a few of his acquaintances had the power to afford even the most expensive strip clubs around-- including its dancers, of course.

dazai was a man of mysterious desires. no, he did not like being watched performed nor did he like big crowds. he preferred dances for only himself while he sat on a big arm chair and let his selfish needs be fulfilled by someone that caught his eye and possibly take them for a much more private session.

one of his part-time business partners, sakunosuke oda, introduced him to that club years ago. he was a regular and was always present whenever the brunette was. it was endearing as dazai had always liked his company but it was something he despised yet enjoyed.

"there's a new dancer," oda muttered to dazai as he downed on his second shot of tequila. he turned to face his business partner who had a few buttons missing on his button up shirt and his hair was slightly tousled. he could tell he only came back from a hot make-out session minutes ago.

he let out a short exasperated sigh, "[height], flexible and gorgeous. she might just be your type."

"what's her name?"

"people here call her krystle so i've heard."

"when will she come up?"

"probably the last one."

dazai showed a small closed eyed smile, chuckling. "i'll wait for her then,"

the two sat in comfortable positions as they watched a dark haired woman come up on stage to dance with elegance. it was a sight to see yet she didn't caught dazai's eyes.

albeit the loud music that blared, dazai finds his position calming at the moment. oda's favorite dancer had come up on stage and put on a good show which he finds endearing. it was relaxing to be in a club with your old friends and drink booze like nothing else was wrong in the world.

just then, dazai noticed an unfamiliar mop of [h.c] hair from the corner of his eyes as the [h.c] haired beauty went the backside of the stage for it was her turn.

the brunette, who thought without hesitation, had a feeling that woman was the one oda was talking about. his short description earlier fitted perfectly. beautiful locks of [h.l], [h.c] hair fitted her face perfectly and her legs looked agile and flexible. her looks were a bonus to her other good features- heck, her whole being was eye candy to dazai.

as soon as krystle was announced, the eye-catching woman strutted her hips to the beat of pony by ginuwine without a care of the hungry and lechearous eyes of men that watched her every move. she wore a white vested crop top and very short shorts that matched with black fishnet stockings. she was like a professional.

dazai narrowed his eyes slightly at the woman who now took her time to circle around the pole in the center of the stage, using her body to seduce everyone that watched. oda looked at the brunette with a small smirk, fully-knowing well what his intentions were.

"that's the one, huh?" he breathed.

oda hummed in response and he watched krystle spin around the pole from top to bottom. she may not be his favorite dancer, but she took his breath away. dazai wanted nothing more but go there and claim her already. he licked his lips as his eyes bore into the [h.c] haired beauty's soul. she was perfect.

oda only continued to stare at the back of dazai's head, only thinking of the outcome of what would happen if dazai should ever get his hands on the poor girl. taking another sip, he let out a low whistle as krystle did a split right in front of dazai, showing off some cleavage before she winked at him and stood off like he wasn't her business.

this action only fueled dazai's dark desires even more. how he wanted to take her and make her his, but he had to hold himself back. patience was key.

"i want her."

"are you sure? ango told me she's one of the most expensive ones around," oda looked at dazai bemused. "you outta' be prepared to spend a lot of money on her."

"if that's all it takes, then i will."

oda stared at him with a blank expression. "just so you know, she doesn't do private dances anymore. something about having enough being a hooker? not sure."

dazai's eyes darkened as he stared right back at oda's azure irises. "then i'll make her have one for me. she can't possibly resist."

"or can she?"

dazai pouted slightly, the darkness in his eyes disappearing as he put on another one of his façades. "odasaku! you can't be too sure, you know? i'll let you know, that i have had a lot of women fa-"

"you've already said that the couple times this night." oda cuts him off, making the brunette sulk before returning to krystle who have just finshed her performance and took a bow, turning her back and going backstage.

dazai grinned at oda before standing up and followed the [h.c] haired beauty. oda only sighed at this but quickly lose interest as his most standard favorite came to perform.

dazai went backstage to meet krystle personally before he was stopped by an orange haired male.

"excuse me sir, what's your business here?"

"i want to meet krystle."

"oh, she's a beauty," tanizaki smiled to himself. "for what reasons, mr..?"

"osamu, dazai osamu."

tanizaki stared at the bandaged male with shocked eyes before clearing his throat. he straightened his posture, gulping.

"g-good evening, mr. osamu!"

"no need for formalities. dazai is fine."

tanizaki nodded stiffly before asking, "ehem, i'll repeat.. dazai, for what reasons do you want to meet krystle for?"

"i want a private session with her." dazai replies bluntly, his honey-brown eyes that clouded with hidden lust and need bore into tanizaki's dialated hazel eyes.

"ehm.. i'm sorry, but i can't let you meet her. there are other dancers available for the night."

"i refuse, i only want her." his voice held a stern tone into it as he glared daggers at the now shaking male who only nodded meekly at his request before saying he'll have to wait a few minutes and exited through the door behind him.

dazai impatiently tapped his foot on the ground as he counted off the time and looked at the door with irritation pooling his eyes. before he could touch the handle of the door, it opened to let him see a familiar ginger haired male's head pop out. sapphire irises stared at him blankly before it turned to annoyance and disgust.

"oh..dazai. it's just you," chuuya spoke his name in an annoyed tone before  opening the door to let himself out and face the taller male before him. "what do you want now, asshole?"

"i'm here to see krystle."

chuuya blinked once. twice, before snickering, covering his mouth with both hands to stifle his snort. "pft--! a-are you serious? you sure you're not here to meet me?" he showed a small smirk of mockery, hand on his hips as he stared with half-lidded eyes at the bandaged male.

dazai chuckled lowly. "please, if i were here to see you i would've slapped myself silly and think about how much i'd regret it."

"or would you?"

dazai showed him an all too familiar grin which sent a chill down chuuya's spine. "quit your horseplay chuuya, i know your ways."

chuuya clicked his tongue. "and to think i can make fun of you."

"what can i say? you're easy to read." he showed a teasing smile, only agitating the short ginger even further.

"ergh, asshole. to even think that.." he muttered under his breathe before shaking his head and narrowing his eyes at dazai, arms crossed against his chest.

"but for real, are you serious?"

"mhm. would i lie to meet such ethereal beauty?"

"ugh, you make me sick," chuuya stuck out his tongue before continuing. "why though?"

"i want a private session with krystle. do i have to repeat myself again? didn't that carrot head tell you?" dazai referred to tanizaki. he must've only told chuuya to meet him outside. "you mean tanizaki?" chuuya shook his head. "no. but anyways, i can't help you with that you horny bastard. plus, why would you think i'd ever let you touch one of my dancers?"

"i can pay them and if i'm satisfied enough i might just pay you finely as well."

"bullshit."

"what, you think i'd lie when striking a deal?"

chuuya stared at dazai with annoyance, "i've known you long enough to see through your foul play."

"just let me see krystle."

chuuya let out a heavy sigh. "do you ever listen? [name] doesn't do private dances. end of story."

dazai was silent for a moment before digging his hand through his black trench coat, pulling out a stacked brown envelope filled with thousands of yen. he handed it to chuuya who stared at it judgingly, clearly not believing him.

dazai rolled his eyes. "just take the damn envelope,"

chuuya snatched it rather aggressively before he opened it and going through it quickly. his eyes widened a fraction before he looked at dazai bewildered.

"what do you even do, breathe money for a living?"

"i work for it, actually."

"wow, you can actually work?" chuuya mocked before closing his eyes.

"fine, i'll see what i can do. but if she disagrees, i can't do shit for you then."

dazai merely nodded before chuuya walked off. "oh, that money's for krystle by the way!"

"don't need to remind me, asshole!" he heard chuuya holler back.

minutes later he heard distant voices arguing through the door that blocked him from the dressing rooms of the dancers. "look, i don't care alright?! why couldn't you get him to leave??"

"he's a persistent asshole," he heard the annoyed tone of chuuya's voice answer. "he won't leave until he gets what he wants."

he heard the other voice groan before the door was opened harshly in front of him. there stood [name] who wore an angry expression on her pale face.

"so, were you the one who kept requesting to see me?"

"that's right."

she grumbled before she turned to chuuya with a look that screamed 'i hate you.' chuuya only snickered at this.

"listen, i don't think you've heard, but i don't do private dances alright? so you can turn back and play with the other girls." she sassed.

"i'll pay you finely for at least a few minutes, [name]."

"how'd you know my name?" she snapped.

dazai nudged with his head at chuuya who was beside [name]. before [name] could speak, chuuya fled off somewhere else.

"fuck.." she cursed. she looked at the wad of cash she had received from chuuya which came from dazai and bit her lip.

"..alright. one song and that's it okay?"

"fine with me."

she nodded and stuffed the envelope on her garter belt. she beckoned dazai to follow her, leading him to a covered and secluded area, holding up the curtain for him. he went in and sat on the big arm chair that sat in the center of the room.

[name] walked to the stereo that sat still on the high table next to the entrace of the curtain and plugged in her phone for the music. she turned to dazai.

"what's your name?"

"dazai osamu," he replies, crossing his legs. "why?"

"i have one rule to set up and i needed your name so i can file a report if you break it."

dazai stared at her with amusement. "oh really?"

"mhm. my rule is that you are not allowed to touch me. simple as that."

dazai gripped on the comfortable armchair. no touching? it's going to be a hard time for him to hold himself back.

finally picking a song, she pressed play and heard neighbours know my name by trey songz blare slow and catchy beat, setting her phone down and walking to dazai and spreading his crossed legs apart and straddled him. "you know the rules?" she pulled at his black neck tie to pull his face closer to hers.

"of course."

dazai took this time to observe her facial features. perfect face complexion. soft and smooth skin, beautiful plump lips and structured nose. not his to touch.

she pulled away and started off slow, her hips swaying as she dropped to her knees, her hands on his thighs as she looked up between his legs, biting her lip and turned around as she started low, shaking her ass in the most perfect and sexual way she could.

she worked her way up still shaking it like a goddess her [h.l] [h.c] hair still draped over her shoulders bouncing perfectly every time she moved her body to shake it more.

dazai's hand positioned at the arms of the chair as he bit his lip in sight of this woman. she had a high sex appeal and he fancied her over any other dancer here.

she then got up and moved closer with her back still to him as she hovered just about his lap and then started to move her hips and shake her ass again.

dazai started to feel her ass ever so lightly brushing against his half-hard groin. as much as he wanted to deny being hard because of her, he just couldn't. it got even harder for him not to take her then and there.

she faced him and placed her hands on his shoulders, grinding him softly while still moving her body with fluid motions to the beat. she placed one hand on his hair and pulled it, a small smirk on her face.

dazai's neck craned upwards and he felt her long fingernails trail up ever so slightly on his bandaged neck, giving him a tickling sensation. he had to exert self control or else he wouldn't have held himself back.

pulling away again, she turned and her back was facing him and bent down, showing dazai a peek of her black lacey panties underneath her shorts. dazai could feel blood rushing south.

the song ended too soon and she stood up, her posture straight and walked over to the stereo to unplug her phone. dazai stared at her mesmerized before speaking.

"come home with me."

"no."

"why not?"

"i'm not a fucking sex toy who'll suck your dick for a few thousand yen." she crossed her arms against her chest.

"i'm not offering you money, my dear."

"really? then what's in it for me?"

"think i won't make you enjoy it?"

she looked at him with irritation building up. "it's not like i'm telling you that you won't. i'm sure you will," she frowned. "but no, i have my own home to get to and i'm pretty sure you do as well."

"just think about it [name], i'll make you change your mind."

"yeah, sure," she rolled her eyes.

"i have to get going. goodbye, dazai."

--

dazai couldn't understand. why does she refuse? she was a stubborn one for sure.

he doesn't mind jacking off but it didn't feel quite right for him. groaning loudly, he looked up and closed his eyes, feeling the hot water run down his scarred body. he sighed in content before turning it off and stepping out the bathtub, grabbing a towel and rubbing on his wet brown locks.

he glanced at his phone that was on the sink and took it, going through his contacts and sending a message to his business partner.

'we're going back tomorrow.'

[edgarbright]

As for love... (2 of 2)

[ IkeVamp Fanfic | Dazai x MC ]

A fix-it fic for the 12 Flavors of Love story event, Arthur vs Dazai Route

[ <--- Return to Part One ]

Content: Explicit, Arthur/MC break-up, Dazai/MC friends to lovers

Characters: MC (2nd person POV), Dazai, Arthur, Sebastian

Word count: 4.5k (part two), 7.6k (whole)

Summary: Dazai accidentally drinks a bottle of Blanc that is tainted with an aphrodisiac! After the events in the hallway, you find yourself alone with him in the library where you intend to help him with his pain. The ink on Dazai’s fingers have long-since dried, but perhaps it’s not the love potion telling him to write love across your skin. And before you make a bold decision of your own, perhaps it’s not the love potion calling you into his arms, either.

Notes: This is, first and foremost, a self-indulgent piece. As this is fic is adapted from an event route, an ample amount of quotes and lines are taken directly from the game and I do not claim credit for them. The title is from Osamu Dazai’s novel, The Setting Sun: “As for love . . . no, having once written that word I can write nothing more.”

“Good bye, Arthur.”

Arthur shouts your name as you turn to run. Sebastian’s voice joins the fray of yells and pounding footsteps muffled on the hallway carpet. Dazai, tethered with a hand in yours, follows in your steps. Once you round a corner, you find no one else is following you.

“Where do we go now?” you ask is dismay, still rushing forward.

Dazai sounds speechless. “Was that what you wanted to happen?”

“It needed to happen.” You squeeze the half-full bottle of Blanc in your hand. Forcing a smile, you look up at Dazai, who moves with long strides at your side. His kimono parts at his knees with each step, giving you a glimpse of his bare legs beneath. “You said if I chose you, I wouldn’t regret it. So what happens now?”

With lust curdling in his belly, you expect him to push you against the wall to continue where you started. Or to lead you to his room.

(The rush of the moment has gotten to you, you think, for wanting one of these to happen. Your heartbeat hammers from the sprint and a wave of realization trying to knock you over beneath a rising tide: you broke up with Arthur.)

You aren’t quite paying attention until you arrive at your destination. Dazai has brought you to the library.

Checking no one else is there, you lock the door behind you, and you feel a little safer for it. “What are we doing here?” you ask as he wanders away from you.

“It was the only place I could think of that we could be alone, and that I could control myself. Reading relaxes me.”

And yet he looks anything but relaxed right now. After the run his kimono is looser than ever, wholly open at his chest, and his forehead is noticeably damp in the well-lit space. He turns to the shelves. You watch from the door as he makes his selection, acting like all is well.

“From what you said in the hallway, I thought the love potion was affecting you more strongly. You’re acting normal enough as it is.”

"Normal enough, hm?” Dazai says on a light note. He takes a seat at the table with a book in hand. “If that's what I look like to you...” His smile is tense. “Then you need to be more careful. Men are wolves, my dear.”

“I know.” A dry laugh escapes you. “I know best of all.” Without fear, you walk over and sit across from him at the table. “I’ve been with Arthur all this time, haven’t I? But… Now I’m not.”

You sit in silence, you sit in peace, your thoughts steadily coming back together after they had fallen apart. There are books lining the walls and piles on the desk. You make no attempt to pick one up, choosing to watch Dazai read instead. Studying the shuddering rise and fall of his chest, he still doesn’t look relaxed with the love potion bleeding out of his every pour.

Is he reading the book or is he thinking of you?

You hold the Blanc on your lap in a tight grip just as earlier’s courage spurs you on to ask, “Were you telling the truth, about what you said before? That you’ve been… fond of me?” Embarrassment makes your words waiver.

The sound of his book closing echoes in the quiet library, making you start. You realize belatedly trying to talk to him isn’t doing him any favors.

“Arty just gets so serious when it comes to you. He’s shown us all a side of him we’ve never seen before, because of you.”

You stare at Dazai, more than a little stunned. “Really?”

You hadn’t thought the others had been paying much attention. Arthur had acted the same in front of everyone since the day you arrived in the mansion. Or so you thought. Arthur did show more control over himself in small ways just as he showed more possession over you. And yet he joined in with the other Great Men more readily when you were around. He wrote more often and perhaps he laughed more, too. He became more a part of the household rather than spending all his time lurking the streets of Paris while chasing another pretty skirt.

“And as I watched him change, I began thinking foolish thoughts.” Dazai let out a little sigh and looked down at the cover of his book. “I wondered,” he continued thoughtfully, his voice quiet and calm, “if perhaps I, too, would change if I met a woman like you.”

Dust glittered and swirled about in the thin slants of light that shone in through the window.

How are you supposed to respond to him? Does that mean he wants to change? How could you possibly change him? How could you change anyone?

It was hard enough trying to change yourself, to stand up for yourself.

“Do you really mean that, or is it the Blanc talking?” You let out a light laugh. “You’re a grown man, Dazai. Someone like me couldn’t possibly cha—”

With the scrape of wooden chair legs against the hardwood floor, Dazai leaps to his feet. He leans across the table towards you, his golden eyes glittering, and you sit there in surprise as he scoops up a handful of your hair. It pools in his palm. The strands catching the light of the window with the tilt of his wrist.

“We’re both grown-ups.” His face is so close to yours and you cannot look away. “But adults are wretched creatures.” He keeps his eyes on you, pining you to the spot with just his gaze, as he brings your hair up to his lips and kisses it.

“I— I…” And then you shake yourself. “Then you are no more wretched than I am, Dazai.” You believe in the kindness he has shown you. In the kindness he shows you now with heavy breaths and flushed skin.

“I want you so badly it's taking every ounce of self-control I have to distract myself with this book.” His words set your face ablaze – so he had been thinking of you! As he leans across the table, he still holds the book, holds it close to his chest like a barrier along with the table to hold him back from you. “Are you sure you made the right decision, coming with me?”

There is an unspoken guarantee in his voice that you are not used to: you can leave. Perhaps he doesn’t quite believe that you meant what you said by leaving Arthur. You can’t quite believe it either. But the fear of being alone with Arthur is gone. You’ll never have to be alone with him again—and Dazai will never know that the change you most wanted to inspire in Arthur was a change that would never happen. And thus you know your answer.

“Yes.” There is no hesitation. Arthur was right, after all. You can’t turn your back on someone who is in trouble. But you won’t say that aloud. You’re not here out of pity. “I didn't want to see you suffer because of me, Dazai. I—” like you— “care about you. Very much.” You take a deep breath and you look away, gathering your hair back from his hand and pulling all of it over one shoulder.

And your name leaves his lips. Your real name. And your heart leaps to attention just as your eyes do, as though the sound of it passing past his lips was all you ever wanted to hear.

“These feelings for you,” Dazai says slowly, carefully, just as had gently scooped up your hair, “they didn't begin when I drank the Blanc.”

You squeeze the Blanc held on your lap. “The why aren’t you acting on them now? I chose you.”

There is silence before he smiles, and there is sadness there, and tenderness. “I said you wouldn’t regret choosing me.”

His golden eyes are aflame with desire. The book, his call to reason, is held, forgotten, as he stares at you. He wants you.

And you want him. His kindness. His gentle touch. His love.

You rise from your seat. “I won’t regret choosing you under one condition.”

He stares at you with eyes wide. You have his undivided attention. “What is your condition?”

“We’ll be satisfying my desire. I’m to be the wolf.”

Who knows what he was expecting, but his answer is even and you realize he would have agreed to anything to have you. He looks at you in awe. He looks at you like you’ve hung the stars in the Heavens. “Of course.”

All you know of Blanc is that it comes from a crushed-up flower and it contains no actual blood. And yet somehow it still tastes like iron and smells as putrid as rot as you gulp it down, down to the last drop until the bottle is empty and you gasp for breath.

“No wonder we keep the Blanc in the cellar,” you grumble with a laugh, exhilarated by your boldness. “It’s awful at room temp… erature…”

Dazai has rounded the table, so distracted were you that you did not see him move, but the moment you drop the bottle away from your mouth and set it on the table, his hands are cradling your cheeks and he looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time. His fingers comb through your hair in a long caress that goes down the back of your neck, and he gazes at you like you hold all the answers to his questions.

The effects of the tainted Blanc are rapid. It pools in your chest and fills you with warmth. Your thoughts dance just like dust moments in the late morning light. As you look into the golden flames sparking in Dazai’s eyes, heat pulses between your thighs with a desire to be filled.

The first kiss you share is not sweet. It is rich and full, his lips soft and plump. You push his coat off and hold his shoulders tight as he draws you against him, as your bodies meld together. There is no wall at your back this time and it’s only him you feel, hot and firm against you through your clothes.

You reach for the end of his obi and tug it loose on a long pull. He peppers your cheeks and nose and forehead with hungry kisses as he makes quick work of the laces of your dress.

“Have you forgotten who is the wolf already?” You’ve started to pant, hungry for air, hungry for him. Desperation is a dry kindle and his touch sets you ablaze.

“I’m not very good at running away, I admit,” he says on a breathy laugh that tickles your ear. Beneath his kimono, his collared shirt hangs off his shoulders and only the bottom two buttons hold him together, which you quickly pop loose. His shirt joins his coat and kimono on the floor.

His underwear is painfully old-fashioned. A plain white cloth. Something you’ve only seen in period movies and at festivals. Now the sight it makes you shiver with delight. The corded fabric leaves his thighs and buttocks bare, but it is the strength of his lust outlined against the thin cotton fabric that draws your attention.

Is it is the love potion’s doing, you tell yourself, as you stroke him through the cloth, as you imagine his cock inside you. The guttural moan which escapes him makes you ache with longing. He stands all but bare when he relieves you of your dress. You shimmy down your panties and stockings all at once—and with his fingers right beside yours, dipped into the thin silk fabric, sliding down your legs to your ankles with a tantalizing touch.

“I want you,” you tell him, as though he might forget. His hands stroke back up your side and take your white slip with it, pulling it up and over your head.

“Should I run now?” he asks, and he could be teasing but there is too much earnestness for that in his eyes, in the way he pulls your hips toward him and his arousal tells you just how much he wants you, too.

“I…” His hand takes your breast and the heat of his palm, the pinch of his fingers, steal a soft moan from you. Your hand covers his, covers your heart that’s racing. “I want you to lie down.”

He does as you tell him but he takes you down with him, pulling you onto his lap as he sits on the floor. His fingers rub between your legs and you sigh in satisfaction. You can’t help rocking into his hand.

But it’s not enough. “More.” You kiss him greedily and grab hold of the white cords over his hips. Pulling them or pushing them, they have no stretch and do not budge. “Dazai, why didn’t you take this off already?”

His fingers have already deserted you and you watch in fascination as he unravels himself. The cloth is much longer than you expected. You reach out to help, but not with the cloth. “Do rabbits usually take their coats off for a— Ah, mm—!”

On that same moan he speaks your name again and with golden eyes glowing. His cock stands tall and looks as pretty as the rest of him as it waits for you. You grip him, stroke him, watch his face flush. His hands grab your thighs and his fingers dimple your soft skin as he encourages your legs apart.

You guide him in and lower yourself on him. The love potion has stolen your reserves, numbs the sting of the initial push of his swollen head, and you cry out in delight as he slides in, as your muscles stretch to welcome him. He’s not as thick as you are used to but he’s longer, and he fills you perfectly to the brim.

“Da— Zai…” Trembling, overwhelmed by the sudden fulness, your hands stroke up and down his toned chest.

“Are you all right?” He’s panting freely and his muscles under your thighs twitch with longing to thrust. He kisses you fast once, twice.

“Yes—Ah, yes!” His hips jerk, his self-restraint hanging on by a string, and he’s stronger than he looks because your knees leave the ground that brief moment and you feel full of him again even though his cock remains buried deep inside.

You push his shoulders to the ground and take your pleasure by rising and lowering yourself, by watching the sparks dance in his eyes or perhaps they are in yours. You told him you wanted to be the wolf but he isn't behaving like a rabbit caught between your teeth. He matches you stroke for stroke and meets you halfway with the heft of his hips and the hold of his hands as he guides you back to him, as he angles himself to the spot that pushes you higher and higher towards bliss.

And as the pace meets a fever pitch, you drop your head and your hair curtains around your face, the strands dragging over his heaving chest. Breaths panting in unison, you stare into his half-lidded eyes and cry out his name when find what you were hunting for.

You don’t expect him to kiss you as he comes, but his tongue is deep in your mouth as you feel him pulsating. The scent of him is distinct and faint, the tinge of black tea and ink overpowered by the smell of sex and sweat and dusty books and ancient leather.

Dazai falls back onto the floor with a loud, contented sigh. You ease yourself off him and untangle yourself from his hands that seek to pull you to his chest. Your skin damp and unbearably hot, you lean against the chair and rest your arms and head onto the seat to catch your breath.

His presence and the thought of him overwhelms you. You need a moment, just a moment, to yourself.

But although you had just had him and you can’t help the broad smile hidden in your arms, his absence leaves an emptiness inside you. You clench your legs together to try to keep the urge at bay.

The love potion is not finished with you yet.

You try to be discreet but Dazai pushes himself to his elbows and watches you. He gazes at you like the wolf he’s pretending not to be.

“Dazai,” you plead with your hand between your legs, searching for relief. “I—”

“You still want me?” And you can’t tell if he’s teasing you or if he can’t believe it might be true.

You reach out for him and he comes to you on his knees. You throw your arms around his neck, reclaiming his kisses, reclaiming his love. His larger fingers continue the work you started, and you’re so wet for him you barely notice when he pushes a digit inside and lets it curl. A moan of relief escapes you, but as you stroke his cock, he’s not recovered yet to take you. It’s a few more moments that you don’t think you can bear without him.

A few more moments where you pulls you up onto trembling legs and captures you in his arms for a kiss that leaves you winded. Books clatter to the floor before he has you on your back atop the table, your legs spread around him and the vaulted ceiling towering above you, but it’s his face you gaze at as you lift your hips to meet him. The silky strands of his hair shadow his eyes.

“Deeper,” you moan, a happiness swelling in your chest when you come together again. “Don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t, not for long. Not when you’re on the floor again with him on top of you, or when you dance away from him in your nakedness, the library the golden palace belonging to the two of you and a bottle and a half of love potion, only for him to catch you again at the wall. You hold his face in your hands and kiss him over and over again as he holds you up and pushes you back into ecstasy.

You love the face he makes when he comes inside you. You love the way he says your name. The love potion won’t let him forget who he has in his arms. It is the love potion that makes your heart burst with affection and you don’t want it to stop. You know it will, but not yet, not when you are still feeling like this for him.

The two of you sit up on the floor with you back on his lap and your legs straddling him. His strong shoulder makes a fine pillow as you rest your head in the nook of his neck. Your body hums with pleasure and a dull ache caused by your greed for him. It is a small price to pay, and you would pay for it all over again.

Dazai plays with your hair, fingers combing through and gathering the locks together in a quiet moment where the clock ticking is the loudest sound in the room.

“That feels nice,” you murmur. Judging by the delicate pulls, he's braiding it for you, and you smile against his soft, warm skin. He hums in reply, a musical sound of contentment. You can hear a heartbeat where your ear rests against his shoulder, and it’s hard to say if it’s yours or his.

“I don't have anything to tie it with,” he says, showing you the end. You touch the top of your head. A French braid by the feel of it.

“That's OK,” you tell him, tightening your arm around his neck for a sweet kiss. Dazai returns it, slow and lingering. He drops your hair and his hands are a smooth caress down your back, along your hips, and it's a slow twist as he lowers you to the floor and you pull him down with you. 

He's inside you again before your shoulders touch the pile of clothes spread out like bedsheets. Like a slow dance, the two of you take it step by step for the first time, feeling each stroke fill you, stretch you, and ebb away like the tide, lasting days at a time while your fingers explore the dips and curve of his back that you hadn't noticed before. His kisses are languid and breathy, and you marvel at his deep sighs when he slides into you, and the way he kisses up your neck when you throw your head back in a burst of ecstasy, the way he kisses you with something akin to longing when you come back down to help him finish.

You hold him closer and squeeze your thighs around his hips when he starts to pull away before he’s done. 

“Stay,” you tell him, your skin warm like candlelight rather than a bursting flame.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Don’t go.”

He's come inside you so many times already. This time you want to feel it most of all, the moment you feel closer to him than ever. 

Your name is moaned across his tongue. You taste it on his lips and in the shudder that overtakes him: the love he has for you. Silken purple hair is plastered against his forehead and you sweep it away, cradle the side of his face as his hips still and your heartbeats find each other, calm and rhythmic. He lies beside you on the floor and you slide back into place against his shoulder, wrapped in his arms.

The clock chimes the time and you glance over at it. The hour is almost up—

You sit up with a jolt when you read the time.

Well over an hour has passed. No, over two. The effects of the love potion are already gone.

It’s been gone.

It’s just been you and Dazai, together, this whole time.

“You didn’t stop,” you realize as you pull your dress out from under you, using it cover your breast and hide your nakedness.

As if he hasn’t seen all of you and more already.

Dazai remains where he lies. He looks quite content, more than a little sleepy, and still quite exposed. “Stop?”

Words all but tumble out of your mouth. “When your love potion wore off. Yours would have worn off long before mine.”

He smiles. “The wolf was still on the hunt, so what was a rabbit to do but keep running?”

You flush and look away, scrambling for something else to say. “You didn’t bite me, either.” Wasn’t severe thirst what you were trying to prevent? You never even felt the graze of his teeth.

An hour, you can’t help thinking, a whole hour where it was just the two of you, together, like this, more than this—

The surprise is evident in his voice. “I didn’t think I needed to… Or was I that bad?” His laugh is whimsical and it cuts through the wave of panic that had been seizing you.

A whole hour without the love potion, and a whole hour where Dazai was still moaning out your name and kissing you like... like…

Like he loved you.

So he was telling the truth. It was never because of the love potion.

You can’t help laughing, too, turning back to look at him.

You want to be truthful with him. Whatever has started here, with him, you want it to be honest. “I liked it,” you urge yourself to confess, feeling flushed. “What happens to us now without the love potion?”

“Well, I can still do this.” Dazai sits up with an amused look and kisses your bare shoulder. With the burning desire gone from his eyes, you can tell there is something else lurking there, something soft yet darkly hidden, but you won’t press him about it now.

“I see. Is that all you can do without the love potion?” But you already know as you lean against him, feeling nervous and new all over again as he wraps his arm around your waist, holding you—

The doorknob rattles like a thunderstorm and you both jump.

“Why’s this door locked?”

You shrink back. “Leonardo…!” you whisper. The doorknob jiggles again. “He’s going to pick the lock!”

“Oh my, he’ll be in here in a moment. I’d rather he not see you like this. Best we get dressed.”

By the time you’re both on your feet, you have your work dress on and are fighting with the laces. So many laces!

Dazai pulls his shirt on without buttoning it and wraps his kimono over. The white cloth of his undergarment he tucks into his obi.

“I don’t mind a refreshing cool breeze,” he says when he catches you watching, and his smile is so telling it makes you blush.

With the jiggling of the lock counting down to the proclamation of Dazai and you that you are not ready to announce, you follow on Dazai’s heels as you tug on your shoes and he leads to you—

“We’re going out the window?!”

The window opens with a click and a frigid winter breeze rushes in. Soft, white snowflakes flutter after. It’s snowing at last—at the worst possible time! Dazai pays no notice of it as he throws a leg over the ledge, exposing a wide glimpse of his muscular bare white thigh, before pulling his other leg out to dangle. White snowflakes are already settling in his hair.

“Our exit, my dear,” he says with his hand held out toward you.

You take it by instinct, just as you’ve taken everything else he’s had to give the last two hours. “But we’re two stories up and it’s snowing outside!”

He smiles serenely, his eyes all but closed. “Wolves go where rabbits run, do they not?”

“That’s…” Dazai was no rabbit. You could feel the pressure of his fingertips all over your body, and you could still taste the hunger of his love.

His golden eyes gleam bright as you let him sweep you into one arm to hold. Your arms go around his neck and you fight back a yelp when you find yourself outside and your legs dangling over nothing. There might be snow but the ground below is a patch of dense, brown earth waiting for springtime to return.

It’s only when you feel the chill that you realize, that you whip your head back to look into the library and see the fabric abandoned on the floor “My stockings--!”

But the window falls close just as the library door flies open. The two of you drop beneath the ledge before Leonardo or Isaac can turn to look.

The scream of the drop catches in your throat before the exhilaration of the escape sets in. Dazai holds you close as he climbs down from the window and not once do you feel like he’s about to drop you.

“I’ve got you,” he says with a cheery laugh.

“I know.” You kiss a snowflake from his cheek and he presses his forehead to yours, nose to nose.

And later, after you've bathed and rested, after you wake beside him that evening, and the next week, and a year after that, you don't regret a thing.

[okikouji]

Supernova

Ozaki Kouyou is fifteen years old and she stops breathing.

~

Day One: #1 - Loss

Pairing: Kouyou/OMC

[ao3]

Ozaki Kouyou is fifteen years old when she meets Mori Ougai. Or to be more precise, she's fifteen years old, beaten and bleeding but not broken, the first time she actually exchanges conversation with the man, instead of simple pleasantries being thrown between them on those rare moments they pass each other in the halls of the Port Mafia's headquarters; her position hadn't been high enough to warrant her being around HQ for longer than the time needed to be given whatever orders for whatever job she needed to carry out and he, if anything, was more a guest than a member, the enigmatic outsider and informant that the Boss favored much more than his own people. And well, if she has to be truly honest, Ozaki Kouyou is fifteen years old the first time she threatens and attempts to murder Mori Ougai. (It won't be the last time she threatens him, but it will be the last time she attempts it.) --- Per that bastard's orders, for the seventh time in that week (a simple gloomy Wednesday, not unlike the last few days) Kouyou's currently handler, Tokuda Shuusei, has had to discipline her. It should've been Lady Kafuu, as her superior and teacher, but knowing Shuusei he likely and foolishly tried to plead in her behalf for a lesser sentence and wound up being order to oversee her disciplining in return. What an idiot, she thinks as he kicks her legs from under her, thinking that bastard would show her the barest hint of mercy after what she tried- after what she did. The Port Mafia shows no mercy. No matter how much Shuusei may want to. She can see it in his eyes, in his frowns, even if the sentiment doesn't ease his blows on her body. Not one of his fists holds back even a fraction. Kouyou's not surprised. After all, it was her mother he loved; he won't put himself under further scrutiny over little, foolish Kouyou by going easy on her and not beating her to a pulp. It's just as well. She doesn't want his half-assed pity. He leaves her on the ground once he's done, pulling out a handkerchief out of his suit's pocket and wiping her blood from his knuckles, as usual. She can get up and walk out of the interrogation room on her own two feet or she can lay there until Hirotsu and his team are in need of it and drag her out, to the room where she's being monitored. They haven't let her out of HQ since that stupid fucking Sunday night. She desperately wants a bath. (She wonders if her room, in the only home she's ever known if she can even call it that, has been ransacked or given to another courtesan already. She wonders if Lady Kafuu already took it. It is the biggest room after all, and only hers out of respect for her late mother; the room they shared for years and years. She finds that she doesn't really care either way.) She passes out eventually, not that she noticed or is remotely surprised either. She knows it when she feels something poking at her face, into one of her many bruises (usually when she passes out and they remove her she's only vaguely aware of being dragged out of the room and into the hard mattress of her new room). She opens her eye (the other is swollen shut she realizes) and had she the energy, she would've flinched. "This isn't working," Dazai Osamu says with a childish pout that makes his empty gaze that much more eerie. That bastard's ward (or son, or nephew, or grandson, or clone, or toy- whatever choice from the rumor mill one would like to pick) and protege of that bastard's current confidante. (He was there, the little demon, holding onto her elbow just below where her sleeve had been cut as they forced her to kneel down, holding her and Golden Demon back, bored- bored as she screamed and screamed-) She snaps her eye shut and tries not to hiss at the pain. "You should take her to Doctor Mori, Hirotsu," she hears Dazai say. She opens her eye once more, Dazai still crouching beside her head and Hirotsu at his back, hands on his coat's pockets and cigarette in his mouth. The smell from the cigarette makes her stomach turn and belatedly realize she can taste bile in her mouth. She wonders briefly when she barfed and dismisses the thought just as quickly. It doesn't matter, she tells herself. She doesn't care and it has nothing to do with hearing her mother's voice in her head, berating her for such unlady like behavior. She does not care. "The boss has given strict orders for Lady Kouyou to not be allowed to leave the premises until he sees fit otherwise, I'm afraid," Hirotsu replies, tone factual, the voice he uses during missions when he wants things to be done efficiently and swiftly. She knows it well. Dazai's gaze doesn't leave her face, his dark eyes focused on her own. Their conversation, as if she's not there as if she's not capable of talking for herself, doesn't make her uncomfortable. She's used to it, with her training and the life she's lived, she's been taught how to turn it around to her advantage. This is different. This is a child, a brat younger than her, looking at her like she's something to dissect on that very floor. Probably wouldn't even do her the kindness of killing her before cutting her open to see what makes her tick. She watches Dazai shake his head and rise to his feet. "I'll talk to the boss and Doctor Mori. Take her to his clinic," he says and walks away, steps almost soundless in this stupid room where every breath echoes. Kouyou turns her gaze to Hirotsu who sighs, cloud of smoke filling the air. The door to the interrogation room opens and closes. He drops to a knee next to her. "Rest now, Kouyou," he says as he takes his cigarette and grounds it into the floor by her head. She hates the familiarity of that voice, hates most of all how her eyelid feels heavy as it has many times before, after missions, on drives back to HQ or her home, after a day of exhausting training with Golden Demon and - She hates that she falls asleep. She hates that she's been conditioned this much. --- There's a hand on her shoulder shaking her awake, the pain from a bruise there making her hiss and she opens her eye. She's inside a limo, Hirotsu at her left and another man in a black suit on her right. One of that bastard's men and not someone she's familiar with. She wonders if she should be honored that that bastard is putting this much effort into this farce. She looks down at herself. She's been changed, her dirty bloody clothes now gone, replaced by a navy blue kimono and black obi. They haven't tended her wounds though, not with the way she feels the fabric against reopened wounds and bleeding, thought obviously not in any danger bleeding out. Just yet, anyway. How stupid. Pointless. Her hair's down too, but that's probably to have it down to cover the bruises on her neck and face. "Lady Kouyou," Hirotsu says, hand tightening on her shoulder. It pulls a hiss out of her mouth before she can stop it. She turns to look at him. Behind him, from the window she can see it's raining. "Lady Kouyou," Hirotsu repeats. "Can you walk?" It's not a question. Walk out of this car on your own two feet. She nods. She can do that much whether her legs agree with her or not. He turns to the door as someone else opens it. Someone holds an umbrella over his head 'till he takes it from them and turns back to the inside of the car, waiting for her. She pushes herself forward, bites the inside of her cheek (switches quickly from left to right side, the inside of her mouth bleeding into her mouth a bit on the left) to keep herself from crying out, her legs screeching at her to stop. A twisted ankle, she thinks as she takes a step forward, it's happened before and she knows the feeling. She manages not to wobble too much as she stands to her full height, Hirotsu holding the umbrella over their heads. She's never been to Mori Ougai's clinic, let alone the general area. It's a part of the slums she's not familiar with at least. Not a territory she's had to keep an eye on before. She walks forward with Hirotsu none the less. She's heard plenty of Mori Ougai, outsider or not. Letting her guard down when she's this injured is a death wish (one she doesn't have, not under these exact circumstances anyway; if she's to die it'll be by her own damn hand and in front of that bastard's face to spit at him once more). When they cross the building's main door her ears are met with laughter, the kind that's obnoxious and comes from someone who's laughing at another. Hirotsu walks forward, handing the umbrella to someone else and knocks the door furthers from the entrance. There's no name plaque anywhere, nothing that would point Mori's clinic out to those who don't know where it is exactly. The laughter dies down as Hirotsu opens the door and beckons her inside. There's someone else with Mori Ougai and the little blond girl that's usually seen with the man. Silver-haired, a grave face glaring openly at Mori Ougai, who strangely enough hasn't removed his hand from where it pats at the man's fresh new bandage-covered cheek. Kouyou recognizes him. The government's Silver Wolf, Fukuzawa Yukichi (her mother had complained about him once, she remembers, had thrown the man's picture to the ground in their room and stomped on it for having killed a target with valuable information for the Port Mafia; more than anything her mother hated losing). "Oh, Hirotsu! Come in come in, I was just finishing up with this," Doctor Mori calls out, chipper and entertained as he slaps the bandage on Fukuzawa Yukichi's cheek one last time (the man looks this close to biting Mori's entire hand off; not a minute has gone by and Kouyou cant say she blames him). "C'mon, off you go," he says to the man, snickering and pushing at his shoulder before turning to Hirotsu and her. "I'll have her back to you in top shape," he says to Hirotsu who bows slightly before turning and leaving her there. The door closes to loudly for comfort. To her, Mori Ougai exclaims, "Miss Kouyou! It's been a while since I've seen your beautiful face- is what I'd say if I could see any of it right now." He pats at the now empty spot that Fukuzawa Yukichi left. "Let's have a look at you." She hesitates for a fraction of a second and the smile on Mori Ougai's face turns razor sharp. It annoys her. She raises her chin and walks with all the ease she can feign and then some. Not that it matters to him after her third step as he walks around the office getting out all sorts of supplies. Fukuzawa Yukichi doesn't leave, takes to standing at a corner of the room, arms crossed over his chest, looking at her with furrowed brows. She ignores him, mostly, but keeps him in her peripheral vision. Mori calls out for help to the little girl, Elise, who bites back with a shout of 'stupid Rintarou!' but none the less makes her way closer to Kouyou, climbing onto the table she's sitting on, slightly behind Kouyou and pulling her hair back with a hair tie. The little girl pulls too damn hard. Or maybe that's just pain from the bump on her head. From then on it's fairly silent. Mori looking her over, making sure she's not concussed, tending to the black eye, the split lip (she hadn't even noticed), a possible fracture on her cheekbone that'll need x-rays and asking her questions on how much pain she feels. But all that is nowhere near the full extent of how hurt she is and they both know it. Before he so much as asks her to change into a hospital gown though, as she's used to doing when checked by Port Mafia's doctors, he starts talking. "What were you thinking, Miss Kouyou," he says, not looking at her but at the bump on her head, gloved fingers poking at her head. "Following along with that stupid plan." Kouyou tenses up. The temperature drops and she shudders. Even Fukuzawa's frown deepens if that's even possible. The only one oblivious is Elise, sitting next to her, coloring with her crayons. "He was an honest young man, but even you must admit smart isn't something Kou-" "Shut up," she hisses out, glaring daggers at the man in front of her turning his attention from her head to her eyes. "Don't say his name. None of you have a single right to say his name. If you say his name, I'll kill you. Do you hear me, I'll kill you." Doctor Mori, information broker of the underworld, smiles at her. "You truly loved him," he says, he mocks her with the words and she's reminded of that bastard looking down at her with disappointment of all fucking things, oh, Kouyou didn't your mother teach you to rip your heart and bury it where none would find it. "And he you," he continues, shrugging. "If only he hadn't been a creature of foolish impulse, that Kouda Rohan." It happens before she realizes it. She reaches for a scalpel from the tools he'd placed on her side and lunges for his eye. He said it, he said his name, another creature of the dark said his name, how dare he, how dare he- She stops just as suddenly, the scalpel mere millimeters from his eye ball as he continues to smile at her, his eyes cold and laughing at her. From her left Fukuzawa Yukichi has his katana ready at her neck, a flick of his wrist and her head goes flying. From her right Elise has a syringe filled with who-knows-what over her heart, ready to plunge it in. Ozaki Kouyou is fifteen years old and she stops breathing. Fukuzawa breaks the silence first. "He deserves that and more, I'm sure," he says to her, not moving his sword. "But I'm afraid I'm still under the obligation to keep him alive. You can't kill him just yet," he finishes, twisting his hand and using the blunt side of the blade to lower her hand. Mori chuckles. "Such a tsundere," he says looking at Fukuzawa. "Elise dear, it's alright, Kouyou knows better now, don't you?" he says to her. She doesn't nod. She doesn't say anything. She lets Mori Ougai take the scalpel from her hand. Young Elise backs down then, with a huff as she grabs her coloring book and crayons, the syringe thrown in with them, and climbs down to go back to her original spot before all this, all while shouting 'I hope she stabs you, stupid Rintarou!'. Mori laughs and turns to Fukuzawa. "Wait outside," he tells the man. "I'm sure Miss Kouyou doesn't want some pervert here while the rest of her wounds are checked." Fukuzawa glares and snorts. "Walk yourself right out first then," he says back but none the less leaves the room. Mori turns to her once the door closes and says nothing. His gaze reminds her Dazai's but worse, much worse, as if he doesn't need to bother butting her up to see what makes her tick. As if he already knows her better than she knows herself. He starts speaking, voice low and void of any inkling of emotion. "Did you have a plan? Either of you." Her mind flashes back to Rohan, Rohan's smile, Rohan's laugh, and she bites her lip. "It's a simple enough question, Kouyou. The answer wont make much of a difference now, will it? He's already dead." "Shut up." She knows that. She watched. They made her watch, of course she knows. That bastard made her watch. "Did you know what you'd do if you managed to get away?" "Shut up." "And if you did, by some miracle, what then?" "Shut. Up." "What did either of you know besides this life? Besides how to kill a man silently? How to drag out death? How to steal? How to lie?" Shut up. "How would you survive in a society that you've never been a part of?" Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. "Tell me Kouyou, how long would either of you have lasted out there before, one way or another, you went straight back into this life? ShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUp!!!!!! "Shut up!!!" she shouts at him, voice breaking. They had no plan. None for leaving without a trace. Not for the after. They wouldn't have survived. What did they know, about living like the everyday person. What could they have possibly known about normal. About good. About light. About a life were they didn't have to kill. About a life were they didn't have to see things no one their age in that other world would ever see, nothing worse than some scenes some Hollywood movie. Mori shakes his head. "Do you know why they killed him and not you?" he asks her. She's crying the tears falling down her face, but she replies either way, slight pride at the fact that she doesn't stumble through her words. "I'm a weapon, I can kill with Golden Demon-" "Don't think so highly of yourself," he interrupts her with a slight sneer, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don't need an ability to do that, any actual weapon is just as good. Young Kouda, however, had the real potential. You master Golden Demon and then what? You will be nothing but a piece to be moved in a board game if that's as far as you'll use your ability. Anyone can kill Kouyou," he tells her before tapping at his forehead. "But this? This is what matters. To be the player and not the piece in the game. Do you understand?" he asks her and huffs when she doesn't reply immediately. "Young Kouda had that in spades. Encounter With A Skull, the ability to see people's memories when coming in physical contact with the subject. He'd never been trained, never been taught to push his ability to the fullest. At most he knew how to see people's memories, to feel a fraction of their emotions and recall the scene in vivid detail that even the person whose memories he was watching couldn't. But he hadn't been taught to look further, to taste, to feel, to hear the memories. It's not enough to look into a possible spy or traitor's memories and see whether they were involved in some scheme or another or simply doing their job. No, not against the capable, the ones who move to smoothly that they wouldn't leave any traces of their betrayal otherwise. It's one thing to see, its another thing to hear, Kouyou. Their words. Their very thoughts." "Rohan couldn't-" "How do you know that? Had he ever tried? Really tried? Did anyone push him to try? Or was he too uncomfortable digging deeper? Or was what he already saw too much for him?" He fires back at her. She opens her mouth but no sound comes out. He was soft. Her Rohan was soft, with his hazel eyes and silky brown hair. She'd held his hand enough times after he'd been forced to look into people memories, when he realized friend wasn't friend. She'd given the final shot (and later used Golden Demon) against his targets when he hesitated. She made sure to never mention the times he puked his guts out after a brutal mission in her reports. He was soft. He wanted to protect his family. He wanted to teach others, hand to hand combat was his specialty and his hobby. He'd taught many of the incoming courtesans self-defense before they'd go to her mother or Lady Kafuu or the others and learn how to kill. "Kouda Rohan could have become one of the Port Mafia's strongest, someone who could've become as necessary to the organization as he could've become a danger to the boss specifically. Had he played his cards right that is. Instead, he failed. He faltered." Now the sneer is back in full force. "Even so, it was a waste to kill him instead of you. But of course the boss would never kill you, Kouyou." "I'd say my beating say otherwise," she spits back at him. Of course that bastard wants her dead. She had the gall to try and leave. He made her watch as they broke Rohan's jaw and put three bullets in his back. He wants her dead but not too soon, not without suffering. Mori laughs, head thrown back. As if reading her mind he says, "Oh, dear Kouyou, the boss doesn't want you dead. He wants to break you and see what's left. He'll make use of you either way," he shrugs before looking at her, the hair on her arms and back of her neck stand on edge. "After all, why would he kill the splitting image of his dear, dear Ozaki Tomomi." Her body grows cold. No. No No NoNoNoNONONONO! "I'd rather die first." "I'm sure you would," Mori says, looking at his nails as if bored, uninterested in the conversation now. "Not that he'd let you." Kouyou grinds her teeth. She won't let that bastard near her, he's the last person on earth she'd allowed near her. "Of course," Mori continues, "there are other ways to prove your worth than that. Question is, after everything, would you even try?" he asks with a raised brow. His eyes tell her he's toying with her, but she asks anyway. "What do you mean?" "Make yourself valuable, make your strength be one of a kind that the boss couldn't afford to get on your bad side, assert that you'll be of use to the Port Mafia in more ways that one, not just letting Golden Demon gain the respect and fear that should go to you," he poking at her head. He grins at her glare. "This is the world you and young Kouda were born into, Kouyou. You can't leave it, it'll crush you like it did him. You have to control it. Embrace it. Make it yours. It's what your mother once did, and she was an executive in the Port Mafia for years." She closes her eye and thinks of Rohan. How he'd been crying even as he tried to assure her that he wasn't scared, how he not once begged for his life but did for hers. She wishes she'd been stronger. Strong enough to protect him. She wishes most of all, to go back in time and have the strength to tell those eyes she loved so much 'No'. "Now!" Mori shouts, shocking her as he claps his hands loudly once. He points behind him to another door besides the one she came in through. "You should change in there so I can get a good look at those bruised ribs you've got, then we can finish this up and get you back home." Ozaki Kouyou is fifteen years old when she opens her mouth and says, "I have been missing my bed." --- Shuusei's beatings stop on a Thursday morning. They stop because Golden Demon cuts his hands right off. They stop because she kills the others who burst into the room and fire their guns at her. They stop because she makes it to the lobby of HQ's main building killing those who attack her and knocking unconscious those who hesitate before she hears clapping and looks over to the top of the stairs where Dazai Osamu stands next to that bastard who looks at her with a proud smile. They stop because she says to that bastard, "I'm going home." and walks away. They stop because she steps into the courtesan house welcomed by silence until Lady Kafuu steps in front of her and slaps her, telling her not to do something so foolish and shameful to her mother's memory ever again, and she nods, before Lady Kafuu walks away and the others drag her to the baths and wash her, cleaning her wounds and replacing dirty bandages. They stop because she sleeps for three days straight and when she wakes up it's to the latest addition to her home, a little boy with hair as red as the sunset and eyes as blue as the sky looking at her from the corner of her bed, one of Rohan's hats too big on his head, who promptly falls backwards into the ground she she suddenly sits up. They stop because she's been given a charge now, someone who will depend on her and the skills she can teach. They stop because she's Ozaki Kouyou and she's deemed it so.

[harukatomoe]

Daddy!Dazai Osamu and Daddy!Nakahara Chūya HCS

Dazai Osamu

❥ Has two daughters and they're their parents' counterparts. You have the older one that is exactly liker her father; a troll, a flirt and a jerk to certain people. She always tries to one-up her father and as the requester said [;)], "You can't beat your old man". The younger daughter is just like her mother; responsible, mature and caring. It's the mom and younger sister that keeps daddy and his (first) little girl in check.

❥ First daughter is a spitting image of her mother and Dazai just loves her to bits. He's always scheming new plans on bothering the hell out of Chūya and his "little baby girl". Just like her father, she always provokes Chūya's daughter by making fun of her stature, but it always ends up south because she gets roundhouse kicked in the face and snickered at.  

❥ Second daughter looks like her father - messy brown hair, but has her mother's eyes and is absolutely beautiful that even girls her age have a crush on her. She's a total heartthrob but, doesn't care for any of that. She's a hard-working girl that is quiet, but has a mouth when she hears you insulting anyone. She often has to keep her older sister from getting beaten up because her older sister had to say, "I have bigger balls than you, and I'm a girl" to a boy.

❥ The older sister loves the younger sister endlessly. As mentioned before, they're their parents' counterparts, how Dazai loves his wife is how the older sibling loves the younger [without any of the sexual intentions :')]: always craving attention from them, clinging to them and always calling for their approval. She's learned how to love from her father, so whenever a boy comes up to her and confesses, she says, "Then would you perform a double suicide with me?" sending the boy running as her mother is screaming at Dazai, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" [He probably says, "That's my girl" and gives a thumbs up.]

❥ The younger sister loves her older sister to bits as well, but doesn't show it all that well. She's just shy when it comes to expressing love and how she expresses it is a small touch to your face or a small kiss, which makes her whole family flustered when she does it to them because it's so cute. As mentioned before, she's a heartthrob. Many boys and girls confess to her often but, she always declines and feels bad because she's simply not interested. And if a boy or girl gets angry or starts picking on her [salty ass], she always has her older sister and dad standing right behind them with a bone-chilling aura.

❥ When the older one spends time with her mother, she learns to behave extremely well. She's seen how her mother acts towards her father when he doesn't behave properly. She admits she's afraid but, she's actually a well-behaved child overall. They usually spend time at home pampering each other and has a spa day. She doesn't feel like it because she only really gets told by her father because she knows she's a spitting image of her mother but, she's absolutely gorgeous. When her mother tells her, she's touched and blushes lightly, tucking hairs behind her ear as she thanks her mother.

❥ When the younger one is with her father, all hell breaks loose. Dazai finds it adorable when she's trying to scold him like his wife, and pats her head telling her not to worry too much. They usually spend time together by walking around the city as he buys her and him whatever to eat. He always tells her back in the day how he was a great detective and how he saved the city, but she knows it's not really true; she knows he leaves parts out and calls him out on it. Eventually they encounter Chūya and his daughter and surprisingly, she gets along with his daughter. They ignore whatever's happening with their fathers.

❥ The oldest enjoys lots of things. She has high standards when it comes to anything. She's picky when it comes to a book she's reading as the cover does matter, the type of genre matters and something specific needs to happen. She enjoys drawing that she didn't pick up from either of her parents and just herself, and she's artistic and is only quiet when she draws. She also into watching gaming videos because her and her father challenge each other to games all the tie, she's always looking for a way to beat him and fails. Overall, she's a loud but extremely sweet girl.

❥ The younger one enjoys more work related things. She free-writes and she seems like a professional at it; her poems are metric, her stories are captivating, even her small verses could make you cry. She enjoys reading and isn't picky with her books, she likes to give all of them a chance which totally enhances her skills through the roof. She enjoys studying other cultures and just countries around the world. She likes reading about religions and governments, she finds them interesting. Overall, she's quiet, but an extravagant girl.

❥ Overall, they're a wonderful family. They always have the best time together and would do anything for each other. There's really no such thing as "downs" in their family, they love each other to the point nothing bad happens. Dazai is a loving, caring and protective father who has his ways in defending his family without them knowing it. His wife is nothing more anyone could ask for, she's perfect in every way and knows it. His oldest daughter is the clown of the house and knows how to make them laugh. His youngest daughter is basically the lock that holds the family together, she knows how to bring everyone together.

Nakahara Chūya

❥ Has one daughter that looks very similar to him. She definitely has of her mother's facial features, like her nose and cute little chin, but that's about it, the rest belong to Chūya. She's a charming and gorgeous young lady that even acts like her father. She's strong-willed and short-tempered.

❥ She's taught martial arts and how to defend herself against bad people and to "kick the mackerel's ass" by her father. Surprisingly, she learns quickly and managed to flip her dad on his back after a few times of being taught. She's quick, diligent and powerful. Though, since she's so small (shorter than her father), she can't take hits all that well - she hates that. She's a glass canon.

❥ Even though she's short-tempered, her elegance comes from her mother. She's a dashing young lady that definitely gets whatever she wants by just looking at someone. Her smirk comes from her father, but her gallant behaviour to test just how well she can make someone do something for her is from her mom. She's not a player when it comes to love, but she finds it fun to attract men she's not attracted to.

❥ Since she looks so much like him, Chūya likes to buy things that would make her match with him, not that she really minds. She loves her father and knows what he does for a living, therefore she always tries her best to impress him even when he doesn't need her to. He once bought her a fedora that was beautifully decorated with flowers. She only wears it on special occasions with him.

❥ She's extremely loyal like the both of her parents. She is a well-behaved child and hates to disappoint, so when she knows what she's doing would make either parent unhappy, she stops. She is respectful towards her elders and people that are higher up in ranks (than her father in the mafia) that she's met. She usually has tea parties with Elise, which she doesn't mind doing, but she doesn't like it too much.

❥ How she expresses her love to her parents is just doing well in school and doing everything well for them. She helps out a lot as well. She expresses love through work and effort, always looking for approval by them. She won't admit it, but she's insecure when she thinks she's disappointed her mother or father. Little does she know that in their eyes, she's the best thing they could ask for and wouldn't have it any other way. She gets confessed to a lot. And I mean, a lot. Her locker is always filled with love notes and presents from both genders, some of them are even from the teachers. Gifts always sit on her desk to the point the school got sick of it and told Chūya. [It ended as Chūya threatening the boys to leave her alone or else they'd get a taste of some dirt.]

❥ The way she loves her father is what any father could want. She looks up to Chūya as a role-model and strives to be like him. She sees him as a man who knows his boundaries and doesn't give up in any situation, meaning he is a total fighter in life (literally). Chūya loves her the same as his wife, his wife and daughter mean the world to him and if anything were to happen, he'd go as far as making the world crumble in his hands.

❥ The way she loves her mother is like she's worshipping a goddess. Though, she still has a strong bond with her mom, being able to talk to her about anything and everything. In her eyes, her mother is the best thing she's ever had and she loves her to pieces. Her mother obviously loves her to bits as well, she always spoils her with things and pampers her even when she's old.

❥ Chūya's daughter enjoys writing poetry; just like him once in a while. Her writing is strong, she writes about her feelings and issues she that concerns her. She also enjoys taking walks in vast fields or parks that have flower trees, especially Sakura trees. She loves the smell of the open and fresh air mixed with the fragrance of flowers. She also loves animals. Any type of animal she's willing to look after, hold and care for. She especially loves small little bunnies that she can hold in her palm, which she loves them so much, Chūya bought her three to represent his family.

❥ Overall, everyone is envious of their family. There's the successful and powerful (in position and ability) father who can protect his family and love them endlessly. Then there's the loving and elegant mother who knows how to hold the family together and cherish her family to the point no one wants to disappoint. And then there's the hard-working and devoted daughter that absolutely everyone wants to impress as she too, wants to do better. Their family is tightly bonded and unbreakable, they always attend formal parties and balls - ending as the center of attention.

[saborukun]

Gakuen Bungou Stray Dogs 2017 Character Profile and Q&A

i’m so excited for this new anime! the visuals look great and i can’t wait uwu

(i’m not an active part of bungou fandom, but i saw this on twitter and i decided to try my hand at it! also can someone please let this grandma know how to put this all under a read more, that would be much appreciated)

-

Our spring is still young and a little painful! The return of Bungou Seishun Graffitti! 

Nakajima Atsushi A very normal high school student except for the fact that his white hair stands out. He became a member of the Armed School Council (as an assistant) due to certain reasons and helps solve fights at school. According to Dazai, he’s “a man of love and justice”.

Dazai Osamu A mysterious young man who’s tall and has disheveled hair. He’s the secretary of the Armed Student Council, but never does any paperwork. His hobby is committing suicide. Because he keeps going in and out of the hospital, his real age is unknown.

Oda Sakunosuke A student teacher who was assigned to the school. It seems like he’s acquainted with Dazai, but the details are a mystery. His usual breakfast is Canadian bacon and scrambled eggs. His favorite food is mixed curry.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke Known as “Prince of the Infirmary”. He wears a frilly piece of cloth around his neck, but even he doesn’t know what it’s called. Since he coughs often, he’s frequently in the infirmary.

Nakahara Chuuya A delinquent transfer student who wears a black hat and knows about Dazai’s past. His hat was confiscated on the first day of his transfer because it was against the school’s dress code. Short.

Sakaguchi Ango A prefect who’s trademark is his glasses. He doubts if Atsushi’s white hair is natural. Known as “Professor[-like] Glasses”.

-

Question 1 - Please introduce yourself.

Atsushi: My name is Nakajima Atsushi. Other than the fact that my white hair stands out, I’m just another normal high schooler. I became a member of the Armed Student Council because of certain reasons. My favorite food is chazuke! Being alive is such a wonderful thing. It’s another new day after you sleep and wake up, and you get to eat! 

... Um, my hair is actually natural?

Dazai: Introduce myself? A self introduction... what do you want to know about me? My name? It’s Dazai Osamu. I’m the secretary of the Armed Student Council, though paperwork is rather annoying. I spend my days looking for good ways to commit suicide. Since I’m always in and out of the hospital, I’ve had to repeat the school year for a number of times... 

Hmm? What is it? So... you’re curious about my age. I’ll leave that to your imagination.

Akutagawa: I am Akutagawa. I am a mere high school student who learns at school and lives on the streets. I suffer from a respiratorial disease, so I unwittingly spend half of my time at the school infirmary. I know more about the arrangement of the medicine cabinet than the school nurse. I am greatly troubled by the fact that someone has started calling me by the nickname “Prince of the Infirmary”. I would like to ruthlessly get rid of useless hindrances and people who create needless havoc, but at this point in time there are no such people for me to get rid of at school.

... That frilly thing on my lapel? I know not of it’s name.

Chuuya: Aa? Why the hell do I have to introduce myself. It’s damn annoying. 

... Ugh! Fine! I just gotta do it, right?! I’m Nakahara Chuuya. It pains me to say this, but I have something like an unfortunate acquintance with that asshole Dazai. That hat that I like... is at home right now. Like hell I’m letting the school confiscate it because it goes against the dress code!

My height...? If you treasure your life then you sure as hell better not say any more than that.

Ango: I’m Sakaguchi Ango from Class 3B. My height is 178cm, and my weight is 62kg. I am currently appointed as a school prefect. It seems like the recent transfer student has a very striking hair color. He claims that it’s natural, but whether or not that’s true...

Pardon me? ... Wait, this is a mole. It’s not dirt.

Odasaku: A self-introduction? My name’s Oda Sakunosuke. My friends call me Odasaku. I’ve been assigned to this school as a student teacher, and I teach Literature. I don’t think it’s anything particularly worth mentioning... Is this enough [for a self-introduction]? Ah right, I eat curry rice three times a week. It’s not that I like it specifically, it’s just a habit of mine. The curry rice that I eat has vegtables that would melt in your mouth and beef tendon that’s been stir-fried with garlic. It tastes light. I cook that with an excellent blend of spices, then mix it all up with a lot of rice. I eat it with eggs and sauce.

... Hmm? Dazai? Dazai is... 

Aa, sorry looks like it’s time for the staff meeting. We’ll talk more about that later.

Question 2 - Tell us your favorite class.

Atsushi: My best subject is Physical Education! Today we had a joint-PE class with Dazai-san and the others, but Akutagawa had to leave for the infirmary in the middle, and Nakahara-san picked a fight with Dazai-san, then Dazai-san disappeared all of a sudden... It’s a pity it didn’t seem like a Physical Education class anymore. It’d be great if I could do sports properly next time...

My favorite subject is probably Literature. I don’t really understand some of the more difficult things, but I’m happy that I get to read a lot of books!

Dazai: I don’t particularly like class. I already know these things without having to be taught, so why do I have to go out of my way to be locked up in a small room just for that. It’s not even a good way to kill time. Especially Physical Education, since it’s still so cold during this time of the year that I’d rather sleep in the infirmary. But Akutagawa-kun’s there in the infirmary... and Yosano-sensei would find out that I’m skipping class. Kunikida-kun would start nagging at me too.

But during joint-PE class today I passed by Odasaku. That wasn’t bad.

Akutagawa: Due to the fact that I spend half of the school year in the infirmary, I lack enough information to form a proper opinion of my likes and dislikes of the classes. In general, I don’t dislike any of the classes. Though I’m rather stumped over the calculation of definite integrals [in mathematics], I’m satisfied with the classes overall. 

I would like to join swimming classes once.

Chuuya: ... Class? Not interested. It’s just that I can’t stand to be worse than that asshole Dazai. Even though that jerk’s literally just a bandage attachment, his brains piss me off...

That’s why it’s not a matter of liking or disliking it. This is a showdown between me and Dazai. And if it’s a fight then there’s no way I’m falling behind. That’s all there is to it.

Ango: I don’t really understand the point of this question. To like or dislike it, I’ve never thought of class from that point of view. It’s because class is something you’re always supposed to attend. It’d be troublesome to constantly skip class the way Dazai does. Ah yes... to be good or bad at it, if it’s from that perspective then I understand. Anyone would have a tendency to score well or score badly in particular subjects.

Naturally I don’t have any subjects that I’m bad at.

Odasaku: My favorite class? I’ve never thought about it. I don’t decide to do things based on whether I like something or not. For most things in general at least. I’m a teacher, and since teaching is a job where it’s required for me to conduct classes, then that applies even more. If we’re just talking about likes and dislikes, then I don’t dislike my job as a teacher. Though I don’t look like it.

Speaking of, I passed by Dazai on campus today. It seemed like he’s actually attending class for once, though I wonder how long he intends on staying a high schooler.

Question 3 - Please tell us what you had for dinner tonight.

Atsushi: I had chicken chazuke today! Umeboshi topped with shredded nori, and also yesterday’s leftover chicken. When you take a bite of that together with hot soup and the little strips of konbu floating on top... that’s the best! Every day I get to eat, go to school, and work for the Armed Student Council even though it’s a little tough. I’ll work hard tomorrow as well!

Ah... um, I really have to go talk to Sakaguchi-san... He probably won’t believe me even if I tell him that my hair’s natural. I’ll go ask Dazai-san for advice...

Dazai: Hm.... How annoying. If Odasaku’s there then I’ll have to properly go to school, so I might as well go to sleep. But I’m hungry... But since we had Physical Education today I’m exhausted... And I hate having to boil water. I want my food to come to me...

Hey fooooood -- cooooooome --

Akutagawa: Western-style food. I designed a menu that considers nuitritional value and prioritizes nourishment to the respiratorial system. However, as I do not have a large appetite, I do not consume very much.

I hate mikans, but I occasionally crave some after meals.

Chuuya: Boiled spinach with mitsuba and miso soup. The ingredients [for the miso soup] are tofu and green onion. And grilled fish. And rice. Then I might as well make the side dishes for tomorrow’s bento. That fucking Dazai always steals from my bento...

I’ll definitely make him cry tomorrow.

Ango: Since I have to prepare the paperwork that’s due for submission, I don’t really have time to cook. When this happens I eat energy bars that I bought from the drugstore with other nuitritional suppliments... 

Haa... I’d like to have a warm meal.

Also, Nakajima Atsushi-kun. Let’s have a proper talk tomorrow.

Odasaku: I was gonna go with curry but I’ve already had that yesterday. I made nikujaga today. I was thinking about things while making it so I made a bit too much. There are a lot of things to think about in this world, and whatever you think about wouldn’t necessarily come to a good conclusion. Since it can’t be helped, I brought the extras to Dazai’s place. He probably thought that preparing a meal was too troublesome and was rolling around on his bed anyway. Dazai’s been living next door for a while now. Hopefully he found the food before it got cold.

I’ll see you tomorrow then. Don’t be late because you stayed up all night.

-

if you thought akutagawa’s answers sound weird, it was deliberate because he is literally an old man and hey, it’s april fool’s. hope y’all enjoyed this and lmk if i messed up anything o/

[fukasenanairo]

Some thoughts on YP’s official translation and possible explanations

This post attempts to address a few complaints on the official manga release by Yen Press, and why I believe YP’s work is an insufficiently-edited take that actually tries to adhere to the original as closely as possible.

You might have seen me around, but I used to do some minor translations for this fandom. It is not to an extent as some of the more dedicated translators, and I am under no illusion that I am an authority in anything BSD-related. However, I can offer my two cents in a time where everyone is confused, enraged and/or anxious about the official translations and what may come next.

Now first of all, opinions are divided on the quality of the official translation. Some think it’s the most horrible thing since gacha games, others like it because it’s funny and quirky, the rest couldn’t care less or don’t want to comment in fear of sparking an all-out war. Personally, I believe the translator’s choices backfired on him somewhat, but it is by no means as bad as everyone seems to be saying.

A note on the translator: I will not reveal his name, but a quick search told me he has quite a reputation. To my knowledge, he has worked in the translation business for roughly 9-10 years, and has done translations for games and light novels including Kagepro and Nier: Automata. This is not to say he cannot make mistakes, but rather you should be very careful before you criticize him.

As for the list of complaints I see the most often (if I missed something, feel free to comment and I will try to address you personally).

1.      The translation sucks!

2.      Why do I need to break out a thesaurus every time I try to understand something?

3.      Why does Dazai talk like ______?

4.      For that matter, why do I want to punch a wall every time they say something?

5.      That’s not what ____ means in the original Japanese!

6.      Why do fan translations have them talk normally and the official does that?

7.      What should I do if the translation is so headache-inducing and I want to introduce BSD to my friends?

8.      But what if I want to support the series and can’t stand the official translation?

1.      The translation sucks!

This is the complaint I see most often, and the one that is the most puzzling. To ‘suck’, a translation needs to be 1) inaccurate or 2) did not portray the original meaning. While YP’s work does make me feel iffy because they try to purple prose it up, I cannot say it’s wrong. The most I can say that it’s weird and needlessly complicated, and could have used an editor. This is the only complaint I have against Yen Press, and that does not make them bad.

Now if you hate the translation because it doesn’t click with you, then that’s your thing. To be honest, I don’t like the official translation either, but I don’t necessarily have to read it, and neither do you. Other translators exist. Japanese-learning resources exist.

2.      Why do I need to break out a thesaurus every time I try to understand something?

That is a very good question, one that a lot of Japanese fans would like to ask as well. Let me tell you about the first time I sought out the raws for this manga, after I read chapter 29 (the latest chapter at the time). I had no clue what game they were playing. The authors go out of their way to use difficult, even outdated, kanji in a medium that’s supposed to be easier to read. Here is a list someone compiled:

Some characters have noticeable quirks (Akutagawa has his infamous ‘yatsugare’, and if you read EGS, you’ll have seen them once complain that “No one talks like Kouyou in the 21st century”.) Is it annoying? Do you just groan at some of those ridiculous words no one uses in the modern age? I can assure you, on the other side of the world, someone is feeling just the same way about the original.

3.      Why does Dazai talk like ______?

Dazai’s speech is notably...strange. To be honest, I don’t know why he got hit the worst with the ye olde speech syndrome. However, there is a question from this 2014 interview that would put his speech in more perspective.

Interviewer: What is the world view you’re mostly going for?

Asagiri-sensei: “Stylish Taishou”. The stage is the modern age, but I thought it would be an interesting remix to combine the air of the authors, who lived in the Taishou era, with the stylish atmosphere of the modern age, using old-fashioned expressions and difficult kanji.

So if you think this Dazai is talking like someone straight out of a Victorian era novel, congratulations! The translator did his job. Taishou, from around 1912-1926, is marked by rapid Westernization, a continuation of the movement Fukuzawa Yukichi advocated at the end of the Meiji era. This is the period where a lot of Japanese authors started reading Western works like Dostoevsky, Franz Kafka or Emile Zola’s works, and consequently influenced by them. We do have a few authors (Mori Ougai, Natsume Souseki etc.) who were active around the Meiji (reform) era and some (Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi etc.) who were mostly around Shouwa (militarist) era, but generally the atmosphere should be Taishou, the age of modernization and Westernization. I hope it adds to your enjoyment when you look back at the translation, official or otherwise.

4.      For that matter, why do I want to punch a wall every time they say something?

Pretension. The text is unbearably pretentious – is what I thought. The wording is needlessly complicated. However, there is an example I usually use to explain this.

The word YP used to describe Dazai’s ability is “Annuls any ability he touches”. I needed to throw something when I saw that, because you can use “Nullify” and achieve the same effect.

And then I read the original. It’s sprinkled with kanji no one would see in anything they usually read. And I thought, isn’t the effect the same? The words mean the same. 珈琲 means コーヒー means ‘coffee’. 凡百 can be read as あらゆる means ‘everything’. But tell me, which would you prefer to read? And which do you think is in the original?

(By the way, the 凡百/あらゆる appears in the Japanese text of Yumeno Kyuusaku’s Dogra Magra. I remember seeing 珈琲 in Odasaku’s works. They’re all present in the actual authors’ works.)

So the YP translation uses SAT words the same way the original would use words you see in old novels and N1 exams. It pisses people off, of course. I didn’t read manga for a mental exercise. However, we can agree that for Bungou Stray Dogs, which tries to achieve a scholarly effect because of its characters, this is nothing unusual and even part of its charm. Afford it the same amount of concentration as you would a novel, and if you cannot, refer to the fan translation.

5.      That’s not what ____ means in the original Japanese!

First, I’d like you to have a sufficient knowledge of Japanese to understand exactly what it means in the original before you make such a claim. If you do, feel free to comment on something you think is wrong. I’ll listen you out and amend my post as needed.

That aside, when I hear this, the worst offender is usually Dazai’s weird way of referring to Atsushi as ‘lad’. While weird, it is not incorrect. ‘Lad’ is an informal way to refer to a young man. Dazai’s speech is largely boyish and informal. I can question the translator’s choice and poor editing, but I will not say that’s not what it means. You may not like it, but that’s what the fan version is for.

6.      Why do fan translations have them talk normally and the official does that?

As you can see, translators take plenty of liberties. On one hand you have fan translations who either work on a tight schedule or seek to make the text easy to understand, on the other you have the official that tries to keep the air of the work to varying degrees of success. Think of it as two ways to enjoy the work.

7.      What should I do if the translation is so headache-inducing and I want to introduce BSD to my friends?

The anime, thankfully, is a faithful adaptation of the original work with wonderful voice acting and easy to digest subtitles. The fan scanlations are speedy, high-quality, and supported by most of the fandom. Lastly, the plot is interesting, and the characters are colorful. Give your friends a heads-up about the official translation – “the wording takes some getting used to” – and help them understand why it is the way it is, if you must.

8.      But what if I want to support the series and can’t stand the official translation?

Because the fandom has grown over the years, there is a huge collection of official merchandise in many countries. If buying Japanese books are not an option, keychains, acrylic stands, figures etc. do not require Japanese knowledge and do support the original author. I especially recommend the official artbook – I do not regret a single cent I spent to buy it. The paper quality is top-notch, the art is stellar, and the comments (if you can read them) are a treat.

You should, as always, give feedback if you think it will prevent newcomers from reading BSD. Tell YP that while you understand why they made the choices they did, some of the word choices will turn people off, and offer some corrections as examples. People listen to you if you understand both sides of the argument and offer constructive efforts. Even if you don’t understand why, ask! With how much YP has done to reply to complaints, I’m sure they will not mind explaining.

However, I will advise against telling people not to buy the official or calling YP bad while not knowing why they decided to translate it like it is. Tell people why you do not like it, warn them that liking it is an acquired taste because of the reasons above, but let them read and come to their own conclusions.

9.      Conclusion

I believe the BSD fandom is really lucky. Despite its initial difficulties, Japanese fans have stuck with its unique way of portraying the manga’s atmosphere. The English fans have dedicated translators who love the series so much they try to translate every available material.

The official translation may not be easy on the eyes, but it offers another perspective to the series many did not know about before. Like it or hate it, I believe you can learn to tolerate it. You can learn advanced/hard to understand words (you’ll use some of them in the SAT for the kids who are taking it) and just have an entirely different experience. While I was searching for the list of outdated kanji, I found a question where someone asked “Where can I find manga with interesting advanced kanji like Bungou Stray Dogs?” I think it’s a great attitude to take in regard to the translation as well.

And finally, Yen Press listens. The “Chuoya” thing was an honest mistake they fixed. They listened to complaints and toned down the pretension in volume 2. Rather than digging for faults and bemoan your ill fortune, I hope that you can believe in the winds this series is riding on, and wish the best for it.

[verdelet]

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: Gen Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Relationship: Dazai Osamu & Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: not-a-date date, Fluff, No Angst, pre-relationship if you squint

Language: English Published: 2017-01-23 Words: 2024 Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Dazai is, upon hindsight, an acquired taste. Oda doesn't mind though. Dazai's company is more than he's had in a long while, even if he can't figure out why Dazai meets him as often as he does.

It's not like Oda is complaining about the company. He wouldn't. He enjoys Dazai's company and the way Dazai seems to regress by at least five years when spending time with Oda. It's refreshing, and it gives Dazai the opportunity to actually act his age, though Oda thinks that sometimes Dazai isn't acting his age as much as he is simply catching up. He'd mentioned it once, out of curiosity, but Dazai had laughed and feigned wounds at the 'cruel' words. Oda had apologized, wondering if he'd touched on a raw topic, and the face Dazai had made at the time looked somewhere between amused and surprised. He digresses, however. The point is that Oda genuinely enjoys Dazai's company and the way Dazai is so very careful not to touch his skin for even a second so long as their location isn't absolutely secure. The way Dazai takes ages to order anything at a restaurant but always settles for the same crab dish. The way Dazai bounces from thought to idea to revelation so quickly Oda's surprised he doesn't get motion sickness, but always leaves room for Oda to offer some kind of input anyway. Still, he doesn't know what to make of the way Dazai is smiling at him right now, smirking actually, and leaning precariously over the chair that Oda finds himself getting ready to catch Dazai when he inevitably falls. The owner of the curry shop, to his credit, laughs and serves up Oda's usual lunch before heading upstairs to make sure the children aren't causing property damage (from the thumping Oda's been hearing every so often since he'd arrived, he's not going to hold his hopes up too high). "O-da-sa-ku~" There's something in the way Dazai says that nickname that he likes. The way it rolls off the other's tongue so easily, the way it sounds like affection at times, the way Dazai grins like he would make Oda carry him if not for the importance of not cancelling out the future-seeing Ability. “Yes?” He watches Dazai steal a bite of his curry, absently wondering why Dazai always steals a bite despite never being able to handle its spiciness. Dimly noting that he could stop Dazai from the inevitable burnt tongue but also realising that he doesn’t really want to because there’s something appealing about the way Dazai’s nose scrunches up as the younger man pulls a face at him. It’s cute, which is a term he’d never thought he’d use on anyone in the mafia. “Egh…” Dazai steals his water and drains most of it, still pulling a face. “Don’t you have a mission to complete today?” Oda takes his spoon back, unable to help smiling when he takes a bite and Dazai squints as though waiting for him to react to the spices. “Mmhmm. I’m on it right now.” Dazai frowns when Oda doesn’t react, but Oda just tilts his head in confusion. “Here?” For the life of him, he can’t imagine why the mafia would organise a mission in a curry shop important enough to send in an executive. Upstairs, there’s another heavy thump, and Oda also hopes that the shop structure is a lot stronger than it looks. “Yup! You know, Odasaku, it’s important for me to make sure my subordinates are working in an acceptable working environment,” Dazai explains, grinning and sitting sideways on the stool so he can kick his feet lightly at Oda’s. “But I’m not your subordinate,” Oda points out, because he might be in the lowest rank of the mafia, but that also means he isn’t tied to a particular division. “Ah, but you see, as an executive,” Dazai counters back, “The only ones who aren’t my subordinates are the other executives and the boss. So Odasaku, you’re technically my subordinate~” “I see.” It makes sense, he supposes. In the barest sense, he is technically under Dazai, even if he isn’t directly affiliated. Strange that Dazai would still consider him a subordinate, though. Few would. “So… your mission is to check on my working conditions?” “It is.” Dazai hooks an ankle around Oda’s, tugging as though to make Oda turn to face him but not hard enough for it to be an actual command. “It’s important to make sure my subordinate is happy with his working conditions. It wouldn’t do if they were being asked for too much, you know?” He doesn’t. “And you arranged for this mission… on my day off?” There seems to be a logic there that he can’t quite follow. Dazai doesn’t even look phased, which means the other knows it’s Oda’s day off (and it’s obvious because Oda’s spent all morning with the children as he always does when he can afford to). “Exactly.” Dazai nods as if to seal a deal Oda hadn’t been aware was being made. It’s followed by a slide that nearly has the stool Dazai’s on tipping over from the sheer weight imbalance, but Dazai plants a foot on the footrest of Oda’s stool to keep himself upright and leans forwards until he’s almost draped against Oda’s arm and shoulder. “So, Odasaku, what do you do on your days off?” "Nothing worth noting..." Oda can't say he knows where Dazai is going with this. Even when he does have work, it isn't as though the mafia has anything significant for him to do. Dazai doesn't seem the least bit perturbed by the lack of enthusiasm, only grinning crookedly and hooking an arm around Oda's own. He can imagine Dazai's commentary though, the little comments his friend would drop in regards to how Oda spends his day and well... It'd be sad to waste Dazai's time if the young man is willing to spend it with Oda. "Dazai, what do you do on your days off?" The question gets him a laugh, Dazai's grin apparent even without Oda looking.  "Mafia executives don't get days off, Odasaku," Dazai teases, as though it's common knowledge, "You know how it is." Oda doesn't. "No rest for the wicked, and all that."  "That sounds tiring," Oda answers dutifully, and Dazai's weight slumps against his arm in response.  "Exactly~ That's why I've decided to take the much less stressful job today and spend it on making sure my dear subordinate is doing well!" Dazai hums, clearly not about to change his mind, and Oda shrugs internally. If Dazai wants to treat today as the day off that he doesn't usually get, who's Oda to tell him otherwise? Still, it would be better to ensure Dazai at least enjoyed it, right?  "Okay," he says in the end, as though he'd been questioning whether Dazai should tag along in the first place. "Well... First of all, there's a movie that I've been considering watching for a while now, if you're interested?" It's not a lie, but he hadn't planned to actually watch it until now.  "Oh? That sounds like you're asking me out on a date, Odasaku," Dazai teases, and Oda pauses to think on that for a moment. It doesn't sound as though Dazai is opposed to the notion of being on a date with him, but it's not like he wants to give the wrong impression either... "If that's how you'd like to see it," he says, and it really is as simple as that.

"Humans really are strange... Would someone really go to such lengths just for the sake of another person?" It's natural, the way Oda finds himself half a step behind Dazai. Most of the younger man's expression hidden by the angle as well as the bandages that never seem to come off. He's not sure what sort of expression Dazai carries when the statement is made, but he's also learnt by now that the physical features rarely convey Dazai's true emotions. "You didn't enjoy it?" Oda watches Dazai out of the corner of his eye. Dazai pauses, barely for even a second, but it's enough for Oda's stride to catch up, and they fall into step side by side. It's not that much easier to see Dazai's face, but Oda appreciates the gesture.  "It was decent," Dazai concedes, hands tucked neatly into his pockets. To their left, Yokohama's lake glistens with the colour of sunset, brilliant orange melting into blue melting into black. Following the brick-lined path brings them past various couples leaned against the railing, all caught up in their own little world. To their right, past the shrubs that act as a separator, Oda can hear children laughing as they chase each other around the field, the occasional bark of dogs meeting in play.  "I'll look for a better movie next time, then." For some reason, that makes Dazai laugh, and Oda turns to him in question.  "Your tastes are just fine, Odasaku," Dazai says, then frowns a little. "Though I have to ask: Where exactly are we going?"  "Ah... A seafood restaurant opened up recently, and I thought it'd be more fun to try it out since I had someone with me." Also not a lie, but he thinks Dazai knows it isn't the whole truth. It isn't a reason why Oda had parked the car on one end of the park, after all, and why they're walking to the restaurant instead of driving there. Fortunately, Dazai doesn't seem to mind - there's a smile Oda can catch the edges of, and if his companion had had any complaints, he's certain Dazai would have brought them up.  With a laugh, Dazai skips a few steps ahead and spins around, treading backwards with ease even as Oda glances around to make sure he isn't about to bump into anyone. "You know, when I said that this was a date, I didn't actually mean it~"  He's grinning and reaching out to pull Oda closer by the coat lapel, and Oda follows the motion until they're almost chest to chest.  "If you don't want it to be a date, it doesn't have to be," Oda reminds him. Had Dazai not enjoyed the day? It'd be disappointing, but Oda supposes it isn't surprising... It's not as though he's very good at being decent company- "What do you want today to be, Odasaku?" Dazai's finger trails up his chest, running over each button but stopping just short of where his collar parts to show the dip of his collarbone. Even now, Dazai's careful to avoid skin-to-skin contact, and Oda can't help but appreciate the little gesture regardless of its practical uses.  "I just wanted you to enjoy today." Facing Dazai like this, Oda can watch his friend's expression shift slightly. "It would have been boring for you if you'd just followed me around on errands, so I wanted to spend time with you instead... But if you'd prefer to stop here, we can-" The smile Oda's so used to seeing slips, just for a fraction of a second, before it's back and melting into something much softer.  "I'd like to have dinner with you, Odasaku," Dazai murmurs, and his hand falls back down to catch Oda's sleeve, tugging just slightly. "Since you've been such a wonderful subordinate lately, I'll even treat you myself~"  "Dazai, you don't have to," Oda points out. He may not be paid as much as an executive, but Oda's always been good at saving money and he can afford this much at the very least. "Ah, but what if I want to?" There's a laugh dancing just below those words. Oda can hear it as clear as day, and considers resisting for all of a second before tilting his head in submission.  "Then I'd appreciate the gesture," he answers. Dazai hums, something victorious in the steps his friend takes until Oda carefully pulls on a sleeve so Dazai doesn't end up walking in the wrong direction. Overhead, the streetlights are starting to flicker to life, the sky a purple-blue kaleidoscope of colours speckled with the silver glitter of stars. All around, Yokohama hums with the life of its citizens. For Oda, just for tonight, he need only focus on Dazai, and he's willing to admit that he quite likes it that way.