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illumins · 8 months ago

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𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙊𝙣𝙚: 𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙄𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚

The morning sun bathes the towering facade of Daylight Academy in a warm, golden glow, casting long shadows that crawl across the intricate masonry like tendrils of a climbing vine. It's a building that speaks of prestige, its ivy-draped limestone walls and soaring Gothic arches more befitting a castle than a school. I push open the heavy, oak front door, the old hinges complaining with a familiar creak that reminds me I’m home—well, as much as a school can feel like one.

As I step into the grand entrance hall, my footsteps echo off the polished marble floors and the vaulted ceiling high above. Banners of deep blue and silver, the school colors, hang from the walls, fluttering slightly as the breeze from the open doors breathes life into them. It's quieter than I remember; the usual buzz of excited conversations is muted, probably the nervous energy of the first day pressing down on everyone’s shoulders like the thick, humid air.

I’m Liya Faulkner, a senior now, though it feels like I just walked these halls for the first time yesterday. I'm not what you might expect for someone at an academy like this. Short, more comfortable in sneakers than heels, my brunette hair pulled back in a practical ponytail that sways gently as I move. My grey eyes might catch the light for a moment, hinting at thoughts that whirl faster than they probably should. Today, I'm dressed simply—jeans and a soft cotton shirt that falls just right, not too tight, not too loose, with a backpack slung over one shoulder.

Lucky—that's the word everyone uses. Lucky Liya, they'd say, to be accepted into Daylight Academy, the kind of place that promises a future brighter than the morning sun streaming through these high windows. Dad says it's a miracle, his lens always focused on capturing the underdog story for the city's news. Mom would have said it was fate. She dreamed of this for me, her hopes stitched into the very fabric of my being, and even though she's gone now, I carry that dream. It's a heavy mantle, one made of memory and desire—her memory, my desire.

Dragging a hand along the cool stone wall, I let my fingers trail over the rough texture, each bump and groove a testament to the history contained within these walls. Around me, the murmur of other students grows, a crescendo of anticipation for the year to come. I should feel excited, maybe even a bit scared, but there’s a calm in me, a steady beat of resilience that drowns out the usual flutter of first-day nerves.

"Heads up, Liya!" a voice calls out from behind me.

Instinctively, I duck as a football zips over my head, narrowly missing the ancient oil painting of the academy's founder. It crashes against the locker with a loud bang, the sound ricocheting off the walls.

"Sorry about that!" The culprit, a tall boy with a sheepish grin, jogs over, retrieving the ball. His apology is genuine, but his smirk tells me he’s gotten away with worse.

"No harm done," I reply, my voice even, betraying none of the annoyance flickering beneath my calm exterior. I'm not one to hold grudges, especially on such a sunny, promising morning. "Just try not to knock out the new kid, okay?"

"Deal," he laughs, then dashes off toward the gym.

The encounter leaves a small smile tugging at my lips as I head to my first class. Today marks the beginning, not just of the school year, but of the final chapter of what started all those years ago when Mom first whispered to me about Daylight Academy, her voice soft and full of certainty.

This is it—the culmination of years of dreaming, of striving, and of holding onto hope even when it felt like there was none left. I can almost hear her in the quiet between each bell, her laughter mingling with the echoes of my footsteps.

This is for her. This is for us.

I pull out the crisp sheet of paper from my front pocket—the schedule that seals my fate for the year. Chemistry, first period. Mrs. Henderson. Room 213B. The numbers and letters blur for a second, my fingers tightening around the edges of the paper as if holding it harder might make me feel more prepared. I tuck it back into my pocket and head towards the science wing, my sneakers squeaking softly against the freshly waxed floors.

As I turn the corner, the noise level increases—a cacophony of laughter, chatter, and the occasional loud greeting. The door to Room 213B is propped open, inviting yet intimidating. Taking a deep breath, I step inside, the scent of wax and whiteboard markers immediately filling my nostrils. The room buzzes with the energy of students reconnecting after the summer break, their voices echoing off the tiled floors and high ceilings.

The classroom is almost full, bodies clustered in groups, some leaning against desks, others standing in the aisles. I scan quickly for an empty seat, my gaze flitting over heads and backpacks, searching for any sliver of space. Most spots are already claimed, belongings sprawled out as territory markers—notebooks, pens, and colorful folders.

Then, amidst the hum of teenage dynamics, a laugh cuts through the noise, clear and familiar. My heart skips, just once, very slightly—as if nudging me. Mark Lee. There, leaning against a lab table near the window, his brunette hair catching the sunlight, making it look like threads of gold are woven through it. His eyes, warm and inviting as a summer’s dusk, crinkle at the corners as he laughs again. Those high cheekbones, more pronounced now, frame a smile that’s disarmingly genuine.

He’s definitely gotten cuter over the summer, not that he needed any enhancement. Mark, with his effortless charm and easy laughter, surrounded by classmates but somehow still standing apart. As usual, he’s beside Haechan, his best friend, who’s animatedly gesturing with his hands, telling some story that clearly amuses them both.

I hesitate at the door for a heartbeat longer, unnoticed. The warmth of the room seems to grow, or maybe it’s just me, feeling suddenly too aware of my own heartbeat, the slight tremor of my hands. I take a quiet breath, tasting the lingering sharpness of cleaning products mixed with the subtle fragrance of someone’s floral perfume.

Pushing past my initial reluctance, I step further into the room, my eyes locked on a small open spot near the back, away from Mark. I can’t sit near him; not if I want to keep my composure, not if I want to focus on anything other than the way his laughter seems to make the whole room brighter.

As I weave through the desks, I feel the cool metal and smooth plastic under my fingers, the occasional bump against my hip or elbow—a physical reminder of the space I occupy in this teeming sea of adolescence. Reaching the empty chair, I slide into it, unpacking my notebook and pen with deliberate slowness, arranging them just so.

From here, I can see him, watch him without being obvious. Mark, who looks even sweeter when he’s listening, his gaze fixed on Haechan as if every word matters deeply. There’s a calmness about him, a steadiness that draws people in, that makes you want to stay in his orbit just a little longer.

I settle in, forcing my attention to the front of the class where the teacher’s desk sits empty, waiting for Mrs. Henderson. My hands fold over my notebook, fingers tapping a silent rhythm, as I steal one last glance at Mark, letting the sight of him anchor and unsettle me all at once. This is how the year starts—with chemistry, both the academic and the unresolved kind.

The classroom door swings open with a decisive motion, heralding the arrival of Mrs. Henderson. She steps in, her presence filling the room like a brisk autumn breeze sweeping through stagnant air. With sharp, efficient movements, she places her leather briefcase on the desk—a thud that demands attention, pulling eyes away from mid-conversation smiles and whispers.

"Good morning, class! Let’s find our seats, please," she announces, her voice a smooth alto that rolls over the chatter, tapering it down to a murmur. I watch as students shuffle to comply, the scrape of chairs and soft thumping of backpacks setting a new rhythm for the room.

Mrs. Henderson is a woman of commanding presence, her gray-streaked hair pulled back into a tight bun that seems to pull her eyebrows perpetually upward, lending her a look of constant scrutiny. She sweeps a gaze over the class, her eyes lingering momentarily on me before moving on. I feel a tiny jolt, as if that brief eye contact was a test I hadn’t studied for.

She begins the class by introducing the syllabus, her hands moving with precise gestures as she points to the projected slides. “Chemistry is not just about reactions and equations; it’s about understanding the essence of materials, predicting outcomes, and—most importantly—applying this knowledge. Expect to be challenged, expect to learn, and expect to be surprised by what you can achieve.”

As she speaks, I try to focus on her words, but my attention is like a poorly tied knot, slipping away repeatedly. My gaze drifts to the front of the room, landing on the back of Mark’s head, his hair catching the light every time he moves. He’s three rows ahead, far enough that every detail shouldn’t be clear, but somehow, each shift and nod are distinct.

The chair beside me scrapes against the tile floor, and a girl with a cascade of curly hair and a nervous smile plops down next to me. “Hi,” she whispers, her voice threaded with the eagerness of making a new acquaintance.

“Hey,” I reply, my smile automatic, a well-practiced curve of lips that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. I turn back to Mrs. Henderson, trying to anchor myself to the lecture about atomic structure and periodic trends.

Mrs. Henderson’s enthusiasm for the subject is palpable; she talks about the elements as if they are old friends she can’t wait for us to meet. “You’ll get to know them, work with them, and yes, occasionally, they’ll surprise you—much like people,” she says, a twinkle of amusement in her eye.

I jot down notes, the scratching of my pen a steady sound that helps me focus—or at least pretend to. Beside me, the curly-haired girl is also taking notes, her handwriting a flurry of loops and whirls. Our elbows brush occasionally, a reminder of the proximity grounding me back to the present.

My pen pauses over a diagram of an atom, the nucleus and electrons laid out in neat orbits. I glance up again, my eyes seeking Mark despite my intentions. He’s leaning back slightly in his chair, his profile etched against the bright light from the window, every line and angle of his face a familiar map that I’ve traced in my thoughts more times than I care to admit.

Mrs. Henderson’s voice pulls me back, her words about chemical bonds suddenly mirroring my own thoughts on connections—how some are strong and enduring, while others are too weak to withstand much at all. I look down at my notebook, the ink from my pen bleeding slightly into the paper, indelible and stark.

As I force my attention back to the front, focusing on the molecular structures dancing across the screen, I can’t help but feel the tug of an invisible bond, one that connects me to the boy three rows ahead, made of curiosity and yearning—a compound as complex and unstable as any we might study this year.

My mind can be a peculiar place. Here I am, sitting in my first class of the senior year at Daylight Academy, and all I can think about is how the intricate dance of electrons around a nucleus somehow parallels my orbit around Mark Lee. It's almost laughable, this cosmic tug between a girl and the boy she's been quietly crushing on for years. How was his summer? Did he travel? Explore? Or maybe just lazed around like any normal teenager would?

I often found myself wandering past his neighborhood on my way to the grocery store, a detour that was slightly longer but infinitely more interesting. This summer, though, the streets that held his house seemed unusually quiet, his familiar silhouette conspicuously absent. I'd catch myself lingering a bit longer at the corner, hoping for a glimpse. Nothing. It was odd, his absence, but then, chastising myself for the stalker-ish tendency, I'd laugh it off and move on. My infatuation could be overwhelmingly silly at times.

As I'm tugged back to the present by the sudden cessation of Mrs. Henderson's lecture, I realize the girl next to me is leaning slightly towards me, her voice a careful whisper designed not to travel far in the hushed classroom atmosphere. "I'm Jenna, by the way."

I turn to face her, pulling my focus from the front of the classroom and giving her my full attention. Jenna's curly hair frames her face in a wild halo, strands escaping here and there, giving her a look of someone constantly in motion. Her eyes, bright and curious beneath thick lashes, hold a spark of friendliness that's instantly warming.

"Oh, hi, Jenna," I reply, my voice equally subdued. It dawns on me then—she’s the yearbook girl. I'd seen her darting around school events with a camera, her presence ubiquitous yet unobtrusive, capturing moments most of us would miss in the blur of our high school days.

She gives me a quick, conspiratorial smile, as if we're sharing a secret in just introducing ourselves. "I think I’ve seen you around, with the art club, right? You guys did that mural last spring?"

"Yeah, that was us," I say, surprised she remembered. My involvement in the art club was more behind-the-scenes, a detail not many would notice.

Jenna nods, her interest genuine, and I find myself appreciating the connection, brief as it is. Her presence is like a grounding wire, redirecting my scattered thoughts from their usual path marked by an all-too-familiar infatuation.

The bell rings, shrill and abrupt, like it's slicing through the thick tension of the room—a tension that's only really palpable to me. Around me, students shove notebooks and pens into their bags with a hurried, indifferent clatter. Jenna, with her smile waning into a frown, leans in slightly. "So, do we have the next class together?" Her voice carries a hopeful undertone that feels like a warm breeze.

I zip up my own bag, feeling the weight of her expectation. "Biology," I reply, my voice more of a whisper than I intend. The way her face falls, just a slight downturn of her lips, makes my chest tighten. "I'll see you around then," she says, trying to mask her disappointment with a brisk nod.

"Yeah, see you," I murmur, slinging my backpack over one shoulder. As I step out of the classroom, I watch Mark stride out ahead of me. He doesn’t look back. I take a deep breath, my heart pounding against my ribs like it's trying to escape. Get yourself together, Liya, I scold myself silently, stepping into the bustling hallway.

The corridor feels more alive now than it did this morning, pulsing with the chaotic energy of teenagers released from the confines of their first period. I navigate through the crowd, my steps hesitant but determined. The sounds of laughter and disjointed conversations create a symphony of normalcy that I crave yet feel detached from.

I catch the eye of a tall girl with paint-stained jeans—Mia from art club. Our eyes meet, and I offer a small, tentative smile, which she returns with a quick, bright flash of recognition. We don't stop to talk; our friendship, if it can be called that, consists of shared nods and occasional brushes of conversation about mediums and murals. It’s comfortable yet distant.

As I move past her, I nod to a couple of other faces from art club. There’s Jonah, who’s always sketching in the margins of his notebooks, and Elise, who’s more into sculptures than sketches. They know me, or at least, the version of me that holds a brush or a palette knife. But outside those art club walls, our interactions dwindle to these brief acknowledgements in crowded hallways.

It’s always been like this—me, drifting on the edge of circles, touching the surface of friendships without ever really diving in. People know me. I know people. But the connections end just as they begin to deepen, leaving me floating in this liminal space of near-but-far, together-but-alone.

As the hum of the corridor dwindles behind me, I pull out my crumpled schedule from the front pocket of my bag. My fingers trace the printed lines, double-checking. Biology, Room 210, Mrs. Hawthorne. I exhale, a puff of relief that feels almost tangible in the stagnant air of the hallway.

Stepping into Room 210, the atmosphere shifts palpably. Unlike the rigid order of Chemistry, this classroom thrums with a relaxed buzz. Students are scattered across the room, draped over desks and chairs like casual confetti, their voices weaving a tapestry of soft laughter and fragmented stories. Mrs. Hawthorne, a wiry woman with streaks of silver in her hair, sorts through a stack of papers on her desk, her glasses perched precariously at the tip of her nose.

I slide into an empty seat near the back, my backpack feeling lighter as I set it down. Relief seeps through me—not just at escaping the fraught energy of Chemistry, but at the absence of Mark in this classroom. Maybe I can actually pass this one, I think, allowing a small, hopeful smile to curve my lips.

As I settle in, scanning the room, my eyes snag on two familiar figures—Renjun and Jisung, part of Mark’s usual entourage. They sat diagonally from me, their heads bowed together in quiet conspiracy. Their presence pricks at my tranquility, a reminder of the orbit I circle but never enter. Still, they seem absorbed in their own world, a barrier invisible and yet palpable, separating them from the rest.

Mrs. Hawthorne clears her throat, the sound sharp enough to slice through the chatter. “Alright, everyone, let’s bring it in,” she calls out, her voice firm yet not unkind. The class gradually falls silent, attention turning towards her as she begins to outline the syllabus. Her words, crisp and precise, paint the semester ahead in broad, promising strokes.

As the bell rings, a symphony of relief and chatter floods the room. The class had rushed by, a whirlwind of historical dates that blend together in a blur—just the way it always does. Our teacher, Ms. Hawthorne, with her perennially furrowed brow, had walked us through the Civil War in less than an hour. Everyone is still buzzing about how, under her stern gaze, even the Battle of Gettysburg seemed to last only a minute. I pack my books, the edges frayed and covers battered from use, into my backpack with a practiced haste.

As I zip my backpack shut, anticipation pulses through me. Lunchtime means a momentary reprieve from the relentless pace of classes. I sling my bag over one shoulder, feeling the familiar tug at my muscles, and push my chair back. It scrapes against the linoleum, a harsh sound that seems too loud in the suddenly quiet classroom.

Stepping into the hallway is like diving into a river at its peak flow. Students flood the corridors, their voices a cacophony of plans for the afternoon, complaints about the homework, and the latest gossip which I tune out. I weave through groups of chatting students, my steps quick and light. Being small has its advantages; I slip through gaps between bodies and backpacks with an agility that keeps me from being swept away in the tide of teenagers.

Finally, I reach my locker, tucked away in a less chaotic corner of the hall. The combination lock clicks under my fingers, a sequence so familiar I could do it in my sleep. As the metal door swings open with a creak, I quickly stow away my History book. My stomach rumbles, thoughts of the cafeteria's offerings today—hopefully pizza, but more likely the soggy tacos—distracting me for a moment.

That’s when I hear it: a loud call, piercing through the buzz of the crowd. “Mark!” The voice is unmistakable—Jaemin. I freeze, a book half-shoved onto the shelf. My heart thumps painfully against my ribcage, a bird frantic to escape its cage. I turn slowly towards the sound, my movements stiff.

Jaemin and Jeno stand a few lockers down, their heads together, eyes scanning the crowd. Their gaze locks onto something, or someone, beyond my line of sight. Curiosity prickles at me, urging me to follow their stare. I lean slightly, peering around a cluster of students, and there he is—Mark, surrounded by Jisung, Renjun, Haechan, and Chenle. They're all animated, a dynamic cluster of energy and laughter, so different from my quiet observation.

As the voices crescendo, Mark and the others, caught in their own orbit of jokes and jabs, move like a comet trailing through the crowded hallway. They pass by me, close enough that I catch snippets of their laughter and the tail-end of a joke about Renjun's latest art project, which apparently includes more glitter than is strictly necessary. The air shifts around them, the way the atmosphere bends light around the sun, drawing eyes like moths to a flame.

I lean back against the cold, dented metal of my locker, pretending to search for something in my backpack while I watch. There's a palpable energy that buzzes from them, an invisible shield that seems to part the waves of students automatically. Some of the other girls stand a little straighter as the group approaches, their laughter ringing clear, like the peal of church bells on a quiet morning. One girl, with hair the color of autumn leaves, watches them with such open admiration that I wonder if she realizes her books are about to slip from her grasp.

"Do you think they ever notice?" The words slip out, soft and more to myself than anyone else.

"Notice what?" The voice comes from Jamie, who’s appeared beside me, her eyes bright with curiosity. Another friend I’ve met through the art club.

I jump slightly, not having noticed her approach. "The way everyone watches them. Like they're characters in a movie or something."

Jamie chuckles, a low, knowing sound. "I think they just enjoy their bubble too much to care." Her gaze lingers on the group, thoughtful. "Must be nice, living in your own little world where everything's a joke or a game."

I nod, the words hitting closer to home than I expect. The boys' laughter fades as they turn the corner, and suddenly the hallway doesn't seem as bright or as animated. The chatter around us fills in the void they’ve left behind, the ordinary concerns of high school life knitting back together like fabric after a pulled thread is reworked into place.

Time skates by as I sit alone in the back of the cafeteria, my lunch tray an island in a sea of noisy school life. The table, round and perpetually sticky, usually hosts only me and occasionally others who drift in with nowhere else to sit. Today, though, it's just me and my thoughts, with the distant clatter of forks and knives playing background music. I pick at the cafeteria's attempt at lasagna, more a mushy puzzle of pasta and sauce than anything else, and lose myself watching the swirl of students around me.

The lunch period ends too quickly, a rushed affair of eating and observing, and I'm the last to leave. I remember today is the first day back from summer and the dread of facing algebra with Mrs. Jensen after a carefree break nudges me forward. My steps quicken as I dart out of the cafeteria, swinging my bag over my shoulder. I make a quick detour to the bathroom, checking my reflection in the mirror not for vanity but to reassure myself I can face the rest of the day.

By the time I exit, the halls are ominously quiet, the absence of the usual hustle a clear sign that I'm late. My heart races as I approach the closed door of the algebra classroom. I stand there for a moment, hand poised above the handle, the metal cool and slightly grimy under my touch. I shake my hand, trying to dispel the nerves that buzz through my fingers like static electricity, and then, summoning every ounce of courage, I turn the knob as gently as possible.

The door gives a soft click, but it might as well have been a gunshot for how quickly the room falls silent. Heads turn, swiveling towards me as if connected by strings, and there in the sea of faces, I see a mix of curiosity and annoyance. Mrs. Jensen, mid-sentence, halts and fixes me with a look that's more weary than angry.

"Liya Faulkner, glad you could join us," she says, her voice dripping with a politeness that everyone knows isn't genuine.

I stumble into the room, my words tripping over each other as they come out. "Sorry, I—I got lost for a second there." My cheeks burn with the knowledge of how lame the excuse sounds, my classmates' eyes boring into me like tiny drills. Internally, I kick myself for not thinking of something more believable.

Mrs. Jensen nods, her expression softening a fraction as she gestures to an empty seat. "Just try to be on time, please. We were just going over the syllabus."

As I make my way to the seat, my backpack feels heavier than ever, loaded with more than just books—every step weighted down by their silent judgments and my own echoing embarrassment.

As I hastily sink into the only empty seat left in the room, the chill from the metal chair seeps through my jeans, a cold reminder of my tardiness. My hands fumble for the zipper of my backpack, movements jerky with nerves as I pull out my mathematics textbook, its edges worn from use. The syllabus, a looming specter of upcoming challenges, is notably absent from my desk. I try to steady my breathing, to dispel the flush of embarrassment still burning my cheeks like a slap.

That's when a sheet of white paper slides across my desk, drifting like a lost feather until it comes to rest beneath my startled gaze. I reach for it, fingers brushing the smooth surface, and glance up to thank the provider. The words die on my lips when I see it's Mark, the same Mark who was the nucleus of laughter just minutes ago in the hallway.

He gives me a smile, soft and unexpectedly reassuring, like the first warm breeze of spring after a harsh winter. "You're really okay," he murmurs, his voice a whisper meant only for my ears, "you haven’t missed anything." The simple kindness in his tone, in such stark contrast to the cacophony of the algebra class, makes my heart sink further into an ocean of foolishness.

For a moment, I'm rendered speechless, struck dumb by his casual grace. Words scramble like startled birds in my mind, but none take flight. His presence, the ease of his smile, narrows the world to just this small interaction, erasing the rows of curious eyes still glancing our way.

I manage a nod, a small, tentative smile stretching my lips as I clutch the syllabus a little tighter. It’s an anchor, a tangible reminder that this moment, however fluttering my heart feels, is just a fleeting connection in the mundane rhythm of school life. The room gradually fills back with the hum of teenage voices and the scratching of pens on paper, but the echo of his words lingers, a soft chord in the clamor.

The rest of the algebra class passes in a blur of numbers and letters, each equation Mrs. Jensen scribbles on the board another missed opportunity for my concentration to latch onto. I make a silent vow, keeping my eyes rooted to the white gleam of my own paper, steering clear of even the faintest temptation to glance sideways at Mark. But the resolve of the mind and the will of the heart are often at odds; the latter sneaks peeks when it can, betraying the former with each stolen glance.

From my peripheral vision, framed by the scuffed edges of my textbook, Mark seems absorbed in the lesson, but occasionally, his attention wanders. It drifts forward, like a leaf caught in a gentle stream, landing invariably on Amy-Jane. She's perched right in the middle of the front row, flanked by friends like stars around a moon, her laughter quiet but resonant, her notes meticulous as if each letter were crafted for display.

During one such moment, when my courage gathers enough to let my gaze linger a second longer, I catch Jaemin's elbow nudging Mark. Jaemin's whisper is lost in the space between them, but his grin speaks volumes, teasingly obvious. Mark's response is a sheepish smile, a subtle shrug that doesn't quite reach his eyes before he redirects his attention back to his notebook, his pen moving in bursts of renewed focus.

That interaction, simple and fleeting, stings sharper than I expect. A twinge of something akin to envy, but more complex, twists in my chest—a knotted thread pulling tight. It’s not just the pang of an unspoken crush noticed by others; it's the silent acknowledgment of my place on the periphery of this social cosmos, orbiting distant stars, invisible in their bright presence.

I press the tip of my pencil against the paper, the lead soft and slightly giving, as I force myself back to the problems laid out before me. The numbers blur, smudging into mathematical probabilities that don't account for the human heart's odd calculations. Each theorem feels like a cold reminder of the logical world, one where emotions are outliers, not data points.

The library unfolds in rows of tall, dark wooden shelves, laden with books that range from timeworn classics to modern paperbacks with spines barely creased. Above, the ceiling stretches high, dotted with small, round lights that cast a soft, golden glow, mimicking the stars that might soon blink awake in the evening sky. Between the shelves, large windows offer views of the schoolyard where autumn leaves flirt with the wind, their dance a quiet chaos against the orderly backdrop of the library.

The bell, like a final exhale after a long-held breath, releases us. I linger in my seat, thumbing through the colorful tabs of my planner until the numbers and periods align to tell me what I already hope for: a free period, a pocket of peace before the day ebbs away. I feign a deep dive into the cavern of my bag, rummaging through its contents—a tangle of pens, a frayed notebook, a half-eaten granola bar—anything to look occupied, to avoid unwanted conversations, especially with Mark still nearby.

My fingers brush the cool, smooth surface of a calculator, the textured spine of a textbook, while my ears tune in to the dwindling sounds of classmates dispersing. The shuffle of feet, the zip of backpacks, the low murmur of parting chatter fills the room. I don't lift my gaze until the sounds thin out, signaling that Mark, with his effortless smile and easy laughter, has left.

I choose a secluded corner table, nestled between sections of history and literature. It's an intimate nook where the sun, in its last act of defiance against the coming night, throws slanted beams across the wooden surface, turning dust motes into swirling galaxies. Here, in this carved-out space, I finally unclasp the tight ponytail, letting my hair cascade down in a relieved sigh, shadows playing in the light brown waves. As I settle, the chair creaking slightly under my weight, the library's calm wraps around me, a soft embrace promising solitude and stillness.

The library's quiet wraps around me like a blanket as I dig through my backpack and pull out my sketchbook. It's got a few creases and worn edges from being toted around so much, but I kind of like that it looks used—it's got character. Flipping through it, I can't help but smile a bit at the sketches filling the pages. It's neat to see how much better I've gotten over the past few months. The lines are smoother, the shading more precise, making the random faces and places I've drawn look almost real.

I grab my trusty pencil from its usual spot in my bag—it's short from all the sharpening but still perfect for drawing. Leaning back against my chair, I can't stop the memory of Mark's smile from earlier today from popping up in my mind. That smile had somehow made the whole awkward moment in algebra feel less intense.

I start sketching, letting my pencil lightly trace the outline of a face with that same easy smile. Trying to get his expressions right is kind of tough, but it’s a good challenge. I focus on the way his eyes had crinkled up when he smiled, trying to capture that. It feels a bit weird, drawing him like this, but it's also cool to see it come together on paper.

As I draw, everything else fades away—the sound of other students whispering, the rustle of pages turning. It's just me, my sketchbook, and the memory of that brief, bright smile. My heart does this little fluttery thing, kind of silly, but it makes me push on, adding more details to the sketch.

As I'm getting the smile just right on my sketch of Mark, a shrill, piercing sound cuts through the quiet of the library—the fire alarm. Everyone's heads jerk up, eyes wide. The librarian, Mrs. Finch, is suddenly all business, her voice firm as she herds us towards the exit. "Books down, everyone, let’s move quickly and calmly," she instructs.

I shove my sketchbook and pencil back into my bag, my movements hurried and a little clumsy. The alarm is insanely loud, making it hard to think. I zip up my backpack and sling it over one shoulder, glancing around to see if anyone else looks as frazzled as I feel. Everyone's just shoving their stuff into their bags, not talking much, their faces tense.

As we file out of the library, I can see teachers in the hallways, directing streams of students toward the exits. They look serious but controlled, like they’ve done this drill a hundred times. We all know the drill, but the suddenness still sends a ripple of anxiety through the crowd. I keep my head down, following the crowd, but I’m super aware of everything around me—the shuffle of feet, the occasional cough, and the loud buzz of the alarm echoing off the walls.

Passing by one of the senior literature classrooms, I spot Jaemin and Mark coming out, looking more alert than everyone else. Their eyes scan the crowd—sharp, focused. It strikes me as odd, their intensity. As they find the rest of their group—Jisung, Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Chenle—they weave through the crowd with a purpose that seems out of place in the chaos.

I can’t help but watch them, curiosity piqued. They’re trying to act normal, but it's like they’re on some secret mission, looking around cautiously. And then, right by the auditorium, it happens: Chenle bumps into Mark, not gently either. They both go down in a tangle of limbs, and the other guys quickly huddle around them.

The teachers and some annoyed kids just pass by, accepting the clumsy fall at face value, but I can’t shake the feeling that something else is going on. Amidst the fuss, I catch a glimpse of Mark slipping into the auditorium, quick as a shadow disappearing at dusk. The others stand up, brushing themselves off, and keep moving like nothing happened.

Once we're outside, everyone's clustered into little groups on the front lawn of the school. The teachers shuffle around, keeping a keen eye on us to make sure nobody drifts toward the busy street nearby. It's chaotic but organized, like some bizarre outdoor class assembly. I spot Mark's friends, still together, looking unusually alert and tense. They're whispering among themselves, glancing back toward the school building every now and then. What the hell? I think, my brow creasing with worry. There could be a real fire or something dangerous going on inside, and they just let Mark stay in there?

As I watch them, I find myself drifting closer to their group without even realizing it. My feet have a mind of their own, pulled by a mix of concern and curiosity. But as I get closer, reality snaps back. What am I doing? Panic flutters in my chest like a trapped bird. I'm about to turn around, to just walk away and maybe text someone to check if Mark's okay, but then it's too late.

Chenle’s eyes lock onto mine, his expression morphing from focused to confused in a split second. He nudges the guy next to him and subtly points at me. My heart hammers against my ribs, loud in my ears over the buzz of the crowd. Great, just great. Now what? There's no backing out now without looking totally weird.

Feeling a mix of irritation at myself and a stubborn set to my jaw, I keep walking toward them, trying to look like I meant to come over all along. The closer I get, the more I wish I could just melt into the grass and disappear, but I’m too far gone now. Chenle’s watching me approach, and I can almost hear the unasked question in his look: What does she want? I just hope I can think of something to say that sounds halfway reasonable.

As I get closer to the group, every step feels like wading through mud, thick and pulling at my ankles. I'm rehearsing lines in my head, trying to figure out how to casually drop into a conversation that, hey, I saw your friend sneak back into a potentially burning building. I mean, I'm not being nosy, right? I'm just concerned. But rationalizing it in my mind and actually saying it out loud are two different universes.

When I finally reach them, they're all looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and mild suspicion. Their faces are like an unread book, the kind where you're not sure if it's going to be a horror story or just a really awkward comedy. I don't blame them for the wary looks; we've never spoken before. To them, I'm just that girl who sometimes sits alone at lunch, maybe not even a blip on their radar.

Jaemin breaks the silence first. He leans against the school's brick wall, one hand casually tucked into his jeans pocket, his eyebrow arched. "Hi?" he says, making the word sound like a question, as if he's puzzled by my sudden appearance in their orbit.

"Hi," I reply, my voice squeaking a bit more than I'd like. Great, just great. I clear my throat, trying again. "Hi, I... um, saw what happened earlier, with Mark. In the hall, I mean." The words tumble out in a rush, and I mentally kick myself for sounding so chaotic.

They all exchange looks, their expressions shifting from curious to alert. I shuffle my feet, feeling the weight of their gazes like a spotlight that’s a bit too bright.

"Mark?" Chenle asks, his tone guarded, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Yeah, when the alarm went off," I continue, pushing past the awkwardness clamping down on my chest. "I saw him... uh, he went into the auditorium. It looked like he did it on purpose, you know? And I just thought... well, it's kind of dangerous, isn't it? With the alarm and all."

There's a pause, heavy and thick, where I can almost hear their thoughts clicking into place. My heart thumps loudly, the sound a drumbeat in my ears as I wait for them to either dismiss me or—hopefully—take me seriously.

Jaemin straightens up, his casual demeanor tightening. "Thanks for letting us know," he says, his voice smooth but his eyes sharp, analyzing. "We’ll... um, handle it."

I nod, not sure what else to add, feeling like I've stepped into a stream that's flowing much faster than I anticipated. "Okay, just, you know, wanted to make sure someone knew," I mumble, already backing away, ready to escape the intensity of the interaction.

I'm halfway turned, ready to escape the heavy air between us, when it hits me—like a cold splash of reality. They're acting clueless, but I saw them, saw how they helped Mark sneak into the auditorium. I can't just walk away, not now. I stop, my heart drumming a frantic beat, and I spin back around, my resolve hardening.

Taking a deep breath, I march back towards them, my steps more determined. As I face them again, I can feel the flush on my cheeks, but it’s not just from embarrassment now—it’s from frustration, too. "You know what, no," I say, my voice firmer than I feel. "You helped him get in there for whatever stupid reason, and what if he gets hurt? What if there's actually a fire?" I throw the words at them like they're stones meant to wake them up.

The boys exchange looks—some amused, some just plain annoyed. Jeno steps forward, his expression darkening. He's taller up close, his presence imposing. He pokes a finger towards my shoulder, not touching me but close enough to make his point. "You saw nothing," he says, his voice low and threatening, yet there's a sharp edge to it, like he’s not just advising me but warning me. "Mark can take care of himself. But I'll let him know you were worried," he adds, his tone softening just a fraction, as if that's supposed to comfort me.

Just as I open my mouth to fire back another retort at Jeno, a loud boom erupts from inside the school. The ground trembles beneath our feet, a jolt that travels up through the soles of my shoes, making my heart skip. Instantly, the scene transforms into chaos. Nearby, cars screech to a halt, their drivers craning necks out of windows, while others honk incessantly, adding to the cacophony. The blare of police sirens grows louder as officers start spilling onto the scene, shouting commands and herding students further from the school building.

As I stand there, frozen, the reality of the situation hits me hard—the possibility of Mark, alone in the auditorium, maybe in danger, causes my stomach to clench. Behind me, some students are half-joking, half-serious, wondering aloud if this is the kind of scenario where Spiderman would show up. I roll my eyes at that. Spiderman? Really? I think as frustration is bubbling up. I'm not about to stand here waiting for some hero to swoop in.

Driven by a mix of fear and determination, I mutter to myself, "Fine, I'll do it myself." The words are barely a whisper, a breath lost in the wind, but they seal my decision. I drop my bag with a thud on the grass and start sprinting towards the school entrance. Calls of "Stop!" chase after me—some from the boys, some from other students, and sharply from the police trying to maintain order. But I don't look back. My legs pump harder, each step fueled by the urgent need to make sure Mark is safe, to not just be a bystander.

I can hear my name being yelled, a distant echo that I push from my mind as I focus on the school doors ahead, the heavy double doors that might just lead me to Mark—or into something way over my head. But right now, none of that matters. Only one thought propels me forward: I have to find him.