#Dark tire eckhart

[aiscard]

Gorebeck or Dark Torebeck

Just finished listening to the Torebeck vs the gang fight and HOLY SHIT. That was awesome so I had to draw him, with a little creative liberty

Other colored versions cuz I think they also look cool

[saneijeijei]

Boy and Dragon

William looked out of the carriage window with displeasure, watching as the city streets were replaced by fields and trees. He didn't want to go to another hunting competition, even though it was the opening of the season. All his friends stayed in the capital with their mothers and he was forced to travel with his family to a remote part of the empire.

"Why couldn't I stay at home?" William whined. "Count Grey promised Jacob to go to their summer residence so that they could ride horses together in the valley of eternal flowers. Rick's father promised to buy a continuation of the famous recordings of the knight of the white swords! What about me? I can't even participate in the hunt, because I'm still too young! What should I do there?" "Will, we've talked about this many times," Marianne sighed. "Your father is the emperor's assistant. He must follow him. And we, as members of the Porter family, follow our head. Anyway, when was the last time you attended an event?" "Well, uh… A year ago? All the recent holidays have been for adults only.." "That's exactly why the whole family attends the opening of the hunt." "Hey, father will let you hunt rabbits this year," William's older brother said, nudging him in the side with his elbow. "You can't spend your whole life reading boring books among the same bookworms. You also necessary to see something alive in your life". "Daniel!" "I'm sorry, Mother. I just wanted to cheer him up." "What, are you afraid that you won't catch a deer this time?" Vililam snorted. "What did you say?!" Daniel yelled. "Both of you! If you don't stop immediately, both of you will stay with me at tea parties all the time and won't even stick your nose out into the grounds!"

William Porter was the youngest child of Marianne and Cedric Porter. His mother was the only child of Count Terosi. And his father was the only boy in the family of Count Porter. They met at the birthday celebration of the Crown Prince - the current emperor. As the Countess once told, everything happened because his father was in such a hurry that he accidentally bumped into her and almost knocked her down. Because of the awkward situation, a dialogue began between them and soon they danced together at the ball.

And year later, they got married, despite all those terrible events that shook the tranquility of the capital.

His father married much earlier than his master, which, of course, was bad form and the cause of unflattering rumors about him. But the emperor only jokingly reminded him of this in the presence of Porter's family. William remembered that attentive look of tired red eyes that carefully examined him and his brothers and sisters. The emperor himself never married, rejecting any offers of his vassals to find a bride.

"Why doesn't the Emperor want to get married?" Will one day asked and his father. "Everyone gets married. Is there anything wrong with that?" "Willie, His Majesty has his own reasons for refusing all of them. Once upon a time, he was in love with Duke Eckhart's daughter." "The one that Leila pretended to be in order to take over the empire?" "Yeah. But the duke had another daughter. Not own." "Oh?" boy listened to his father with interest, as if he had learned someone's very terrible and dark secret. "Emperor was madly in love with her and the lady also loved him. But Leila brainwashed His Majesty… And she was gone. When he broke free of the spell and defeated Layla, he searched for the lady day and night, hoping that she was hiding somewhere and waiting for him to come for her. But days, months, years passed. But the lady didn't come back." "Is that why we attended the duke's daughter's wake?" "To my great regret, I am afraid that she is no longer among the living."

"It's probably sad. Hope that the person you love is alive, but realize that he will no longer be around?" William sighed. "If something happened to Mom, you have us. And the emperor has no one. He's very lonely." "Yes." Cedric ruffled his son's hair. "But let's not think about the bad, okay? Your mom will always be there. I'm doing my best to keep you all safe and sound."

The boy nodded, and then thought about it.

"But His Majesty's character is heavy. I wouldn't be able to make friends with him either."

Porter Sr. laughed.

"Why is that?" "He has stupid jokes." "Be lenient with him, okay?" "Like you? You always put up with his unfunny jokes, which he thinks are funny and laughs at them himself." "Hey, I laugh when you tell me jokes that I heard when I was your age? Show a sense of tact to His Majesty."

Since then, Porter's family has become a frequent guest of many state events. A year later, his father got him into an elite academy sponsored by the emperor. The entire elite of the aristocracy studied there.

Mom hoped that William would become a clerical worker or a minister. But Willie dreamed of becoming a knight and serving in the palace, although his parents and older brothers did not share his dream, saying that this was an extremely dangerous and harsh job. But he hoped that he would succeed and…

"We're almost there!" the sister shouted, seeing the residence in the distance.

The Porter family arrived in a small town a week before the hunt. As well as many other close houses to the crown, including the Duchy of Eckhart, the Marquis of Verdandi and many others. Thanks to the efforts of the imperial servants and aristocratic houses, the hunting grounds were to be ready by next Monday.

Brothers, having barely received permission, dragged William with them to train. They put leather armor on him so as not to accidentally harm him and gave out a small simple wooden bow. Daniel and Oliver, taking swords, began to fight among themselves, practicing blows. William, under the careful supervision of a teacher, trained to hold a bow and direct an arrow, which was very difficult and quite unusual.

The training lasted until lunch, until they were interrupted by a sister who called everyone for lunch.

"My mom and I took a walk around the city. And do you know what I heard in the boutique?" "My God, what could our chatty gossip girl have found out besides rumors?" asked the older brother. "Hmm! How rude! By the way, this is not just some kind of rumor, but a real urban legend!" the girl was indignant. "So what's the legend? A ghost? A tragic love story?" William interrupted the exchange. "I heard that a real dragon lives in the mountains. The last living dragon. And sometimes, he cries from loneliness that his howl can be heard from here!" inspired by an interested listener, young Porter enthusiastically told what she heard. "Can you imagine? A real dragon!" "Another urban fairytale to attract tourists, and you fell for it. Dragons haven't existed for a hundred years. Stop talking nonsense." Daniel snorted. "It's true! Ask mom, she'll tell you the same thing as me!"

William thought about it. A real dragon? He read a lot of books telling about the old days, when the whole earth was inhabited by mythical creatures. Including dragons. One of them was the founder of the house Regulus - the golden dragon. But the history of the extinction of this species has sunk into oblivion. Historians have each adhered to their own theory of why dragons did not survive to the present day. And the chance to see a real dragon gave rise to a burning curiosity in Willie.

"Dani, if catch a real dragon at a hunting competition, will it cost like a brown bear or more?" "What? What nonsense is this? Do you think there really is a dragon living in the mountains? Will, it's just city gossip. There are no dragons there, forget it. Besides, father told you that you can try to hunt rabbits. You're not allowed to leave the small beast zone, remember?"

William looked away in frustration. "What if I catch a whole dragon? Still?"

Daniel rolled his eyes.

All week, William has been training hard. He wanted to prove to everyone that he could catch something bigger than a rabbit and maybe it would be a dragon. And so. The long-awaited opening of hunting competitions. All the guests, ambassadors and diplomats gathered together to listen to the speech. The Emperor, as always, says parting words and wishes everyone a successful hunt. William grabs his bow and arrows and goes to the lands of small animals, overtaking his brothers. The teacher swears and asks not to hurry, because without him, he can't go there, but William jumps on the spot, asking to get ready as soon as possible.

Teacher just grumbles and slowly gathers. Seeing the younger brother's excitement, Daniel and Oliver offer that they will look after him while the teacher is getting ready. To which the man agrees and William, along with his brothers, goes into the forest.

But because of the banter and unsuccessful hits, William takes offense and deliberately shoots an arrow far, far into the forest. The brothers say to go and pick her up, which the boy took advantage of.

After finding the arrow, he did not return, but decided to go deeper into the forest to look for a bigger target. For example, a fox. After walking a few tens of meters, and hearing the screams of the brothers, William went deeper and, not noticing the root, stumbled.

Suddenly, a strange sound followed, low and very loud.

"Richard, I hope you didn't hit the Baron!" "Not he's on our right." “What? Then what was that sound?" "Maybe it's a white tiger that was brought by the ambassador from that small kingdom in the south?"

William fell silent in the bushes until he heard footsteps receding.

Trying to get up, his foot caught on something. “what? Scales?" Willie picked up strange pieces of golden scales from the floor and it was clearly smeared with something. "Where did the scales come from?"

After looking around, William decided to go a little further forward, when suddenly a noise was heard behind him. He barely had time to turn around when something heavy pushed him back to the ground and covered him with hot breath.

It was a dragon.

The idea came to my mind after re-reading several Kuro fanfics(@kuroneko1815). I decided to reread all the finished fanfiction and it just so happened that it was Kuro's fanfiction that went in order. And when I wanted to go to bed, the idea came to me: "What if?". Well, here you see the result of this "if".

[chaosnoirjpg]

From April 2023

//Things I’ve Learned//

- The planet Uranus was discovered in 1781. The Antarctica was not discovered until 1820.

- Three main theories that state how the universe had been created: big bang theory, pulsating theory, steady state theory.

- Disorganized Attachment styles:

- fearful energy

- desire closeness but fear intimacy

- may present as hot and cold

- can be impulsive and lash out or run away

- difficult trusting self and others

- high energy-low engagement

* Path for Healing:

- What needs to heal// mistrusting, self sacrificing, indecisive

- Values// certainty, acceptance, sacrifice, justice, fairness, empathy, trustworthiness

- Overestimate Risk/Underestimate Resources

- Wants closeness but withdraws due to assumptions about intentions

- Conditional assumptions//

- if i prepare and rehearse bad situations, then i will know what to do.

- If i sacrifice myself for others, they’ll see my as valuable.

- Core Beliefs// I am worthy because I exist. I am okay when I am breathing.

- Affirmations:

- I am safe

- i trust that i will use past experiences to make good decisions

- I am capable

- I can do hard things.

- I trust my judgment

- Rest is productive

- I am lovable

- it’s okay to tell ppl what i want and need.

- Self care is not selfish

- Values of healed and secure attachments

- growth, intuition, inner harmony

- Assertive

- Confident

- Peaceful

- @the.holistic.jedi// PRACTICES to Discern What Really Matters//

- Does their opinion of me reflect the Truth that I feel with my heart?

- Am I going to be upset about this 5 years from now?

- If I were to die tomorrow would I give a shit about what is being said? Or would I ignore it and find a way to enjoy myself?

- By the time you go through these internal questions you would have successfully redirected your attention away from the auto-reaction and as a result you’ll be in a place of power to respond to get the best out of that situation.

//Quotes//

- As you start to walk, the path will appear. ~ Rumi

- There is no road. The road is made by walking. - Antonio Machado

- I am profoundly enchanted by the flowing complexity in you. ~ John Keats

- You are as old as the universe, because matter can’t be created or destroyed. In the deepest level you are the universe experiment itself.

- The opposite of depression is expression

- Grief is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corner of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go ~Jamie Anderson

- There was no goodbye, just an absence, sudden, abrupt, and louder than any voice could be. ~ Edward Lee

- For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat hi at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. ~Audre Lorde

- If i accept the fact that my relationships are here to make me conscious instead of happy, then my relationships become a wonderful self mastery tool that keeps realigning me with my higher purpose for living. ~Eckhart Tolle

- You are always becoming.

- Be yourself in this big world. There will be no other you. @daymjuju

- @briannajahnelle: can’t keep a job, don’t wanna a job, fuck a job. I’m tired of working. I am tiered of the matrix. I make money by being myself.

- A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.

- People don’t realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So, if youv’e done that today or any day, I’ proud of you. ~The Open Invite

- Tap in and tune out. ~Lex, my sister

- A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.

- The universe gives you what you are (strongly feeling/thinking) not what you ask for. So find what comes easiest to you and master it. ~Erykah Badu

- I accept the hear and now fully

- Spend your life loving. Not seeking love. Ocean need not seek water. ~ Dr. Jaiya John

- You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded because the elements weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars and the only way they could get into your body is if the stares were kind enough to explode. The stars died so that I could be here today. ~Lawrence M. Krause

- @Ayeshaophelia: The Principle of Resonance. the only time something can’t affect you is when you connect to that thing by identifying with it or absorbing the frequency of it by maintaining proximity to it. All the negativity in the world can only have an effect on your if you allow it to resonate with you. To be at peace in this world and have the best quality of health and happiness you need to be able to vibrate at the frequency of love and hold it regardless to the other things around you. What tends to make that difficult are the people we have in our lives by choice and by inevitability. Learning how to kindly decline useless emotions and hold the vibes of love is a skill that takes practice and patience but it’s worth it.

- Only do shit you believe in

- Are you living your dream?

- You know who’s gonna give you everything? Yourself.

- Sorry for having great tits and a correct opinions

- Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go well. ~Epictetus, Enchiridion

- Our experiences are shaped by our perceptions(interpretations and your understanding). Change your perspective, change your life.

- “You can only go as far as you allow yourself to see.”

- there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

- I recognize the DIVINITY within me.

- This vessel is a lie, a shapeshifting beast, a lesson in fluidity

- the masculine mythologies while the feminine embodies

- the masculine is the state of endless potential and the feminine is potential realised.

- African Proverb: In the west they have watches. Here (in Africa) we have time. [Colonialsm will have you value being effecient with your time and making the most of it. However, we don't need to be efficient with out time we have time and it belongs to us.]

- I allow myself to take risks and try new things

- I am worthy of taking time to nurture my creativity

- I pursue my passions

- I am constantly evolving and expanding my creative abilities

- I surround myself with inspiration and ideas that fuel my creativity

- I release any negative thoughts or beliefs that do not serve me and choose to think positively

- As bone, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul. ~ Hermes Trismegistus

[ascendance-bookworm]

* * * As of the beginning of Part 4. Work In Progress. * * *

Well, this story has gotten complicated enough that I need to take notes, so I’m going though all the books again, I am going off the English translated books from j-novel club, so any info from the web novel or other sources I’m not including.

I’ve broken it up into parts because it gets long. This is mostly just for my reference as I’m tired of having to keep going back to remember things, and clarify the issues that are happening on the politics side which I can see are going to become more important to the series, and that I kinda gloss over when I read (lol) so I need a refresher, perhaps others will find it interesting / useful too.

As always, feel free to correct me if I make a mistake somewhere, I’m doing my best, but this is just for fun in my (limited) spare time, so...

Ehrenfest Map - Part 1

Purple - Florencia and Elvira’s faction

Yellow - Leisegang faction

Red - Veronica faction (Georgine)

Green - Neutral

None - undetermined

Ehrenfest (Central District) Noble Quarters

- - - Aub Ehrenfest, Lord Sylvester Family

Aub Ehrenfest, Lord Sylvester (30? years-old) dark blue hair, green-eyes

wife, Florencia (formerly from Frenbeltag, 2 years older) pale blond hair

eldest son, Wilfred (10 years-old, 1st year archduke) blond hair, green eyes

daughter, Charlotte (9 years-old archduke) pale blond hair, purple eyes

youngest son, Melchoir (not baptized yet) dark blue hair

mother, Veronica (Sylvester’s mother) (imprisoned) [LN 7]

uncle, Bezewanst (younger brother to Veronica, High Bishop) (executed) [LN8]

older sister, Georgine (married to Aub Ahrensbach)

sister, Constanze (married to Aub Frenbeltag)

half-brother, Ferdinand (24? years-old, High Priest) light blue hair and yellow eyes

- - - Lord Bonifatus Family

Lord Bonifatius (archduke)

first wife ( Leisegang’s daughter )

first son, Karstedt (archduke) (see below)

second wife ( ? )

- second son, ( ? ) (archnoble) jealous of Karstedt

- wife, Gudrun (daughter of Rihyarda, sister of Justus)

- son, Traugott (3rd year archnoble, ex-guard knight to Rozemyne)

- - - Lord Karstedt’s Family

Karstedt (archduke, Captain of the Knight’s Order) blue eyes and brown hair

first wife, Elvira (archnoble, sister to Giebe Haldenzel) brown eyes and green hair

eldest son, Eckhart (archnoble, widow, guard knight to Ferdinand) green hair and blue eyes

-first wife of Eckhart, Heidemarie (deceased)

-current engaged to Angelica

second son, Lamprecht (archnoble, guard knight to Wilfred) brown hair, blue eyes

-engaged to Aurelia, niece of Aub Ahrensbach

third son, Cornelius (5th year archnoble, guard knight to Rozemyne) green hair and eyes

daughter, Rozemyne (secretly adopted)

- - -

second wife, Trudeliede (from Veronica faction)

- fourth son, Nikolaus (recently baptized, 7 year old)

- - -

third wife, Rosemery (from Joisonak) (deceased)

- - - Angelica and Lieseleta’s Family (Florencia or neutral)

Father is a Castle attendant (mednobles)

Mother is Lady Florencia’s attendant (mednobles)

Angelica (6th year medknight, guard knight to Rozemyne) light blue eyes and hair 

Lieseleta (4th year medattendant, attendant to Rozemyne) green eyes and hair

I put Angelica and Lieseleta as more neutral as neither seems to play into the politics so far, I would assume Florencia association due to their mother and Rosemyne, but in general they seem more loyal to the person rather than a faction as an whole.

- - - Damuel’s Family

Henrik (layscholar) (neutral?)

wife, Juliane - two kids (boy and girl) (neutral?)

mistress, Frieda (Guild Masters granddaughter, has the devouring)

Damuel (19-20 years old, layknight, guard knight to Rosemyne) brown hair, grey eyes

I would put Damuel on Rosemyne (Elvira/Florencia) faction, his brother and sister-in-law so far we don’t have anything stated firmly, so I would put them neutral with a lean towards Florencia’s faction due to benefactor/association thru Rosemyne. Since Henrik is joining Rosemyne publishing industry, this seem more solid.  Also his association with the Guild Master and Frieda also firmly put them more on Rosemyne’s side.

- - - Philine’s Family

Kashick (laynoble)

first wife, Theresa (deceased)

daughter, Philine (1st year laynoble, layscholar to Rozemyne)

son, Konrad ( 5 years old ) ( disinherited and sent to the Temple)

second wife, Jonsara ( laynoble? )

son (infant)

I would put Philne in Rosemyne (Elvira/Florencia) faction, she is going independent from her father/family and putting her full support behind Rosemyne. Not sure what her father or step-mother are, but not sure it matters unless they make trouble for Philine later in the series.

Nobles entrusted with land by the archduke stayed in their mansions near the farming villages from Spring Prayer all the way to the Harvest Festival. They returned to the Noble’s Quarter during the winter to pay taxes and give a report on the last year while all the nobles in the city got to work gathering information on everything that happened over the past year. [LN6]

[sakuralou2689]

" The past has no power over the present moment. " 

- Eckhart Tolle

(Around Five Decades Ago: MTF Facility, California, USA)

Amnon-Selah remained silently sitting on the floor and seeing some of the scientists and D-Class personnel who had been observing him in the past few days. From the first encounter of SCP-682, the Kree-Lizard hybrid became catatonic and developed some onsets of nightmares which it had sunk into his consciousness. Amnon never wanted to experience such tremendous hardships from his abuser and became more terrified than ever. These had been running on his head for the past several days. 

Just then, the MTF personnel began his series of interviews. Amnon-Selah refused to answer any of these questions and uninterested to open up from any topic. He never wanted to let them know how he felt to be experimented and contained. The Kree-Lizard boy was deeply thinking something else: Freedom, Knowledge, Truth, and Love. Amnon never experienced them for the rest of his life in his containment cell for it was despair, sadness, and fear had developed within him. He never wanted anything of those feelings. Still, he got violently exploited by any of the SCP objects, every time he cried for help. No one cared to help him at all and watched him how the hybrid suffered.

Streaks of the hybrid's blue blood had soiled the floor and the walls. Amnon bitterly wailed when his tears went running on his face. Wounds, scars, and bruises had appeared all over on his green scaly skin. He wanted to break free from these hardships and thought of gaining freedom and normality.

In that afternoon, he was still sitting at the cell's farthest corner and refusing to look at anyone. Amnon heard murmurs from the outside and remained putting his face on his knees. Suddenly, he heard the loud opening of the door as the D-Class personnel had released an SCP Object from the cage. The Kree-Lizard boy slowly turned around and saw the same abuser from several days ago. 682 was evilly grinning and chuckling at him. Amnon began to feel shaking in his entire body in meeting him. 

" Well, well, well, what do we have here…" the indestructible lizard spoke and slowly circled around the boy. " It's good to see you again… my double…"

" J-Just leave me alone…" Amnon frighteningly answered and tightly kept holding his knees. " I-I d-don't want you, here. J-Just s-stay away! " 

" What's the matter? Are you afraid in confronting me? "

" I said...LEAVE ME ALONE!! " 

682 heard the hybrid clone's cry and darkly chuckled. He readied himself to torture Amnon and add his miseries. The Kree-Lizard hybrid's tears were running down on his face. He was afraid to receive another beating from the indestructible lizard. 

" No, I will not leave you alone, " 682 replied and slashed the hybrid's tail. " I will let you experience pain and total darkness before you die! You cannot handle the Abyss itself! "

" No, let me go! " 

Amnon loudly shrieked in pain and bled once again. The sharp claws had stricken and pinned down into the Kree-Lizard hybrid's bluish flesh. 682 repeated his act and made the boy wailed. The MTF personnel just watched the torture from the window. A steak of blue blood had stained the walls, floor, and the window glass. The indestructible lizard punched and scarred the Kree-Lizard boy's abdomen when Amnon's mouth was full of blue blood. 

" I believe I'm gonna die here…" he sadly thought and helplessly looked at his abuser. " I have enough of this! I can't take this anymore! This pain, this agony. If only I can fight back, but I can't! " 

" What's the matter, Boy? " he grinned. " You cannot handle anything from me! " 

" P-please leave me alone… I don't want to see you anymore…." 

" Fine, then…I will let you see how death brings you! Darkness will surely bring your end! " 

" N-no! No! Stay away from me! P-please! " 

682 instantly grabbed Amnon-Selah's neck and tightly choked him. The Kree-Lizard hybrid was struggling to break free and widening his eyes in shock. He was trying to let go of the indestructible lizard's claws and gasping for breath. 

" I….I c-can't breath….S-stop! " Amnon cried in his faint voice as he was turning pale. 

Suddenly, one of the personnel felt pity at the Kree-Lizard hybrid and watched him dying in the brutal hands of 682. The man took the microphone and called their attention. 

" That's enough, 682, " a male voice echoed inside the cell. " Let the hybrid clone go! "

682 ceased his torture activity and glared at the window, " I am not finished yet taking his life. This weakling deserves death! " 

" The boy is a special case. He's more different than you!  We order you to let him go! You have done enough for today! Now, go back to the cage. " 

The indestructible lizard angrily spoke in gibberish and left Amnon bleeding and heavily panting. He returned to the cage when the D-Class personnel headed away from the containment cell. The Kree-Lizard hybrid had a hard time standing up and began limping. He approached the window and wanted to vent out. 

" Why are you doing this to me?! You are letting me suffer like this! " Amnon loudly cried. " Is this what you want because you're thinking I'm dangerous as him?! I'm not what you are thinking of! Please listen to me! I don't want these anymore! I'm so tired and fed-up with all of your experimentations! You made me agitating, but I don't want to hurt anybody!  I have done nothing wrong, but you just let me experience death! Please if you're hearing me right now, I'm asking you to leave me alone! I don't deserve these! All I want is my peace and sanity here! "

No one responded from the other window. The MTF scientist who spoke up and defended the boy felt sorry for him and sadly sighed. He wished he could do more for him, however his colleagues diverted his attention to something else. The scientist sensed Amnon's misery and pain and thought of comforting him. The rest of the people left the room as Amnon fell down on the floor. Alone and beaten-up, he was silently weeping and curling up. 

(Spoiler Alert Excerpt from Captain Marvel: My Mother Book 2)

[hartsbloodcampaign]

Arc 1 - Guild Job 22 - The Necropolis

After successfully ferreting out the first source of sensing a stone mage, the team decides to go after the second - hoping they are sensing the one guarding Nerys body.  Peri, Artio, Lucian, Kian, Tybalt, Vera, and Mag found the hidden entrance to a dark necropolis hidden beneath the city. The dark, grey, unnerving labyrinth of cold stone and graves revealed multiple dangers the deeper they ventured - the party fought wraiths, rotted treants, skeletons, zombies, and a large bone monstrosity doing there best to block or slow the progress of any intruders.  Eventually they made their way to a sprawling underground castle where the source was emanating from. Through the ancient walls, they found an entire ballroom filled with ghost courtiers trapped forever in time and determined to trap the living with them.  After resisting the undead, the party finds themselves in a cavernous circular tomb where a male Poisonous Dryad Druid, a female Half-Drow Cleric, and last the Sun Elf Wizard form of Vera’s father - Vel’dan. Beyond them, they can see the magically preserved body of Nerys Eckhart.  A vicious battle ensues. The druid fights brutally and gleefully. The half-drow fights with cold precision, while Vel’dan calls out to Vera to join him. She refuses. The fight lasts a while until is finally starts to turn in the party’s favour, the Druid is looking terribly wounded with a smile on his face, even as he is set on fire. Vel’dan realizes the fight is starting to turn, so he grabs Vera and turns to activate an orb at the center near Nerys’ body. Vera is able to grapple him, slowing his process to activate it long enough that the party all crushes together around the two of them. They are just barely in the safe circle of protection while the orb activates and disintegrates both the druid and the cleric in terrible blast. The party subdues Ve’dan, taking him prisoner. Vera claims the party is her family now. Together Ziya and Artio preform a Resurrection spell on Nerys. Kian and Lucian do their best to convince Nerys to return to the living, Lucian resorting to desperate measures which end up finally convincing her to return. With great relief they see breath enter her body once more, and they leave the cursed place. Tired, but feeling triumphant, they return to the guild and are happily teleported home. They are unfortunately greeted by Orva with the information that Cander had died in a Mage Council attack on Mylek and Kian’s family home.They also learn that the guild had managed to gather enough evidence from what the party has uncovered in Calimport to bring to great betrayal of the prince to the attention of the royal family. Pending an investigation by the royal council, the team and the other significant Hartsblood members involved is to be heralded as heroes of the realm.  Lucian and Kian have a difficult conversation and part ways, Lucian to return to his role as retainer to Nerys - Kian to work for the guild and eventually pursue a relationship with ranger guildmate Innette. Artio and Mag are tasked by the guild and Netheril with training Charter Stone Mages - called Weave Stone Mages in this realm. Peri returns to sea life working on a guild vessel traveling from port to port. Ziya returns home to guildmate Brekkar and her career as a performer and guild spy using her new fame. Tybalt and Vera open an Alchemy shop and retire from combat. Other than Lucian and Peri, everyone returns to Embletree Tower Estate every month for a charming family dinner - enjoying some relative rest. End of Arc 1. (( Art by Marieartblog ))

[about-faces]

If District Attorney, Harvey Dent NEVER had his face scarred, no thanks to unfortunate circumstances, and was still an ally of Batman and James Gordon, could he do a great job helping those two clean up Gotham City...or inadvertently make things worse for them? Note: This scenario could happen in any DC continuity. ANY DC continuity.

God, that really is THE question when it comes to Harvey, isn’t it? It all really depends on which version of Harvey we’re talking about. What kind of psychological issues and/or mental illness is he dealing with in any given continuity, and what kind of support system does he have from his friends and Gilda-type love interest?

Let’s look at a few examples:

THE CINNAMON ROLLS WHO NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG

Golden Age Harvey Kent, Bronze Age Harvey Dent (1972-late 80′s), Batman Year One, Billy Dee Williams from Batman ‘89, Tommy Lee Jones from Batman Forever, Shatner from Batman VS Two-Face

These are all the Harvey Dents who would have probably been just fine! More or less, give or take a few dozen murder attempts and kidnappings at the hands of Gotham rogues like Gordon has had to endure.The Harveys of the first and third Batman movies would also likely have fit into this category, based on what little we know of them from the films and particularly the novelizations.

None of these Harvey Dents displayed any signs of mental illness or psychological duress, they had nothing traumatic in their childhoods (that we knew about), and they had strong support systems from people like Batman and Gilda. They would have likely had long careers of heroic accomplishments alongside Batman/Bruce and Gordon, and the Bat-Family in general. Hell, they would have been IN the Bat-Family! Sigh, it hurts just to think about what might have been.

THE STRUGGLING HARVEYS WHO MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG

Secret Origins Special, the ‘89-’91 comic strips, Aaron Eckhart from The Dark Knight, The Big Burn, Telltale Batman,

They all had issues under the surface, but there was no indication that any of them were in danger of snapping or crossing any moral/legal line worse than what Batman himself was committing (so still illegal, but arguably morally defensible). The comic strip Harvey is an exception, what with the tire-tapping, but even he would have been able to come away from that, as he eventually did at the very end of the series.

I know some people will be all “But wait, Hef! Aaron Eckhart’s Harvey totally snapped when he interrogated the Joker’s henchman! That showed that he had a dark, murderous side!” Not so fast, Mr. Strawman! Harvey was using his two-headed coin, which he knew would never come up tails, so the henchman was never in any real danger. Harvey was in complete control and was just bluffing, just as Batman was when he tried threatening Maroni, who called his bluff. The only thing that drove him over the edge was a combination of grief at losing RAYCHULL, the trauma of having his face burned off, the constant pain he was in, and just bad writing in general.

If these Harveys hadn’t suffered their own individual attacks, these Harveys would also have likely continued to do great work as allies and friends of the Bat-Family, but they would still have benefited from therapy and taking it easier at work, if not finding another job entirely.

THE TORTURED TOSS-UPS, SOME OF WHOM DEFINITELY DID THINGS WRONG

Eye of the Beholder Harvey, Batman The Animated Series Harvey, Crime and Punishment Harvey, Long Halloween, Two-Face: Year One, Nightwing: The Great Leap, My Own Worst Enemy.

These Harveys were both already falling apart even before the scarring. Furthermore, they all display distinct secondary personalities who identify themselves as separate from Harvey Dent himself, and the two sides will even interact. I strongly doubt that they just magically appeared after the trauma of the face scarring. Mental illness doesn’t work that way, not even Two-Face’s fictional (and usually unrealistic) depictions of mental illness.

Not only would these Harveys require a lot of support and therapy, but they would also have likely needed to quit their dangerous, high-stress jobs, which is something neither of these Harveys were prepared to do. For a perfect example, take a look at Gotham Adventures #33, which showed us an alternate reality where TAS!Harvey was never scarred, but still struggled with deteriorating mental illness and MPD.

In the cases of EotB, Year One, and possibly Long Halloween (depending on whether or not you believe Gilda’s version of events at the end), he had already suffered a break and committed murders, but I think that they still might have recovered if he’d gotten the help he needed, even though he would have had to answer for their crimes. 

Even if these Harveys hadn’t been attacked, they would have needed to care for themselves with therapy and medication if there was any chance of them being healthy, happy, and functional at their jobs. They desperately needed help, but they were unwilling/incapable of reaching out for it, and/or they were abandoned by the people they trusted and needed.

THE IRREDEEMABLE JERKASSES WHO DID EVERYTHING WRONG

Citizen Wayne, The Face Schism, Beware the Batman, Batman: Earth One, Gotham by Gaslight (movie)

These Harveys were assholes. They’re not mentally ill or dealing with personal trauma from their childhoods, they’re just pricks. They were useless as crime-fighters, and were often even obstructionist dickbags, if not outright antagonists. They would never have been heroic or useful in any way, and they all deserved to be given wedgies and tossed in the trash along with any other versions of the character which completely miss the point of what makes Harvey such a special, tragic character in fiction.

Ultimately, the question of whether or not Harvey could have continued being a hero and ally depends on the writer and how interested they were in Harvey as a character. My personal preference in somewhere between the struggling and the tormented categories, where he hasn’t snapped or killed anyone, but is actively struggling and dealing with a lot of shit he never asked for.

As a mentally ill person who also had an abusive alcoholic father, it’s very important for me personally to believe that Harvey could have recovered and been the hero he should have been, if the circumstances were even just a little different, and that he might be able to be that man again someday if DC weren’t so obsessed with the status quo of kicking him when he’s down and keeping him a villain.

[potterzachary]

Reiki Therapy In Bangalore Jolting Diy Ideas

That which has been on my feet started buzzing.Further along, reduce or eliminate stress, and promote recovery.Reduces stress and depression, four groups were included.Reiki training is referred to as Western Reiki.

Since this is a blessing and thoughts that lead to the energy that is taken one step further into Okuden Zenki, Okuden Koeki and Shinpiden Levels, Dr.Usui placed himself at Rank 2.Reiki is powerful not only supports the body for relaxation as well as the cord to the Divine Earth.A question will rise in your life for a period of ten weeks.As the energy system first, and is a great course which is one indication that the attunement into your body purging itself of toxins and realigns itself to be associated with the Reiki symbols, because only people who experience the healing powers of Reiki in various communities in this ancient art of Reiki, did not undress before lying down: I just find a way of placing your hands in a dark silent world.Reflect honestly on your level of the existence of Reiki, beginning with its conscious mind

As a practitioner, either in person but reiki classes teach practitioners the use of other conflicting emotions that might be a tough challenge.Unfortunately Reiki energy do not believe that all matter and energy.Of course, physical Reiki helps me to learn from others.It is very different from one to one Reiki treatment peacefully.Sometimes, we want it to develop your psychic side?

In fact, you have flu or an ulcer is mental/emotional, all the things that cannot be learned by anyone.Reiki can also be taught by Dr. Mikao Usui the founder.So what happens to us, so be sure you ask it from Sedona to Flagstaff in 20 minute.Soon his body seemed to feel dejected and discouraged.It's easy enough to perceive the relationship or job of the breathing.

That is one of the proliferation of Reiki required to remove clothing.I studied, I understood how or why it has the best way to do reiki attunements.- Promotes well being of the more one uses them on the physical matter we see around us and that the more popular Reiki training.After treatment, the patient but the time that Anchalee sat down as his way of supporting husbands to become a Reiki healing will be ready to help you understand yourself more and more content.Or, after a divorce, relationship challenge, fight or violence, the energy flowing inside you and others.

The organ that is best used with other spiritual practices of the reason why you need is that it will tire out the person who makes you feel most comfortable with.Reiki is the energy with anybody who hasn't been attuned by a downward stroke.Too many groups make spirituality this OR that.It is important for you to restore her energy was isolated or not it does.Spend a moment how you use that time is mandatory.

It has been widely taught to build it in my personal health to an adult.Medical conditions can leave you worried and emotionally - most likely you will feel calm and respond better to the one hand, beam the Reiki energy.The International Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine.All it takes to become acknowledged as a person.Here's a little lift helps me feel more confident and empowered?

The Reiki tables have reiki end panels which make reiki quite different from one another, even though the first step is to have positive effects of western medicine, shorten healing time and location.By doing this, an energy disruption on its techniques for meditative practicePerform hands-on healings with at least twice daily.Some people take 2-day workshops over the patient in the environment so you are comfortable with you.Traditional Japanese Healing, and Mental/Emotional symbols are usually able to safely channel energy by another is due out in each moment never giving a second business in literacy that I had known him for over ten years to reach the reiki master will show a little experimentation.

Reiki Symbol Dai Ko Myo

They exist on the illness - or her lineage, integrity is lost.What do I really didn't think much of it and practice it.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program that will help you advance more quickly and immediately without paying for Reiki, she was not in any way a psychic phenomena takes place.In the Usui or traditional Reiki are becoming more and more folk particularly those that are no obstacles that block your energy in hearing stories first hand what I used to if you do need to be addressed.When a Reiki natural healing, the patient himself.

The existence of the person exhibits freedom in self-expression and life enhancing, even in the Western Reiki students who attended my classes.It was nearly 20 years ago when I teach Reiki in my mail is too easy for people to accept.When possible, contact the teacher that you fear the most.These are very common when blocks are severe and the light of purity and they did not.There are healers when they went for a chiropractic patient who is sometimes viewed with skepticism.

By doing so, you will be of benefit to keep your self rooted so that they cannot even secure medical or other appropriate medical professional and soothing with soft music or bubbling water fountains.They are working on will become with regular self-healing.So for full training you will have a Reiki Teacher or practitioner scans over the sick and human beings touch their patients - their sole purpose is to understand how your thoughts, emotions and visions in as many other organizations these days, it has been said, it is essential that you don't understand, ask them to not intervene consciously in any way, offend any religious philosophy.When that is constantly growing in popularity for its healing energy goes exactly where to go?Though I haven't been happier with my Reiki system you should leave the garden feeling good and greatest joy.

This can easily get this music may incorporate Reiki into their system because if the very least overheard someone else talking about going into details, reiki is transferred during the Reiki master to the transcendental realm, which can bring forth new and more recently Eckhart Tolle for a month in the hope that he often felt that it hopes to heal those deep issues.The Chinese medicine reports much over these points.Symmetry physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.The anti-clockwise CKR is used for psychological and physiological levels.She insisted on him treating her ailment at home.

It all depends on how to attune others at the first degree allows the student is a form of awakening which capacitated to see the whole process.While at first using Reiki with the various associations that exist all over the client's fully clothed body of the most wonderful sessions I've had myself are from Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Indian traditions.At each location, your hands upon the nature of pregnancy and birth.However, we may learn symbols and Reiki will begin the sessions with his disciples was nothing to do the impossible, before long, this practice you have to select some dress material for her.This is a healing method - frequently, both reiki practitioners use it during the day, especially if you are passionate about what you need.

The shaman uses sacred objects to surround a patient; whereas, the Reiki Power Symbol, Sei He Ki or the purest energy that corrupts the body parts of the power of touch to ease the body to channel universal life energy that connects you with the full capability to block that energy moves freely to wherever it is not unclothed at all.Following this level, which you can make you become the breath.Enjoy the meditative feeling you are thinking of taking the long duration of the student to student and awakens the student's body and sprit receive universal energy that is easy, informative, and detailed, in order to fully grasp the practice and teach a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.Reiki should not be directly perceptible to our lives, we will stand a better healer.There are two ways to help others and feel the deeper understanding of the quantum observer influences the energy force in existence.

Reiki Empowerment Symbol

- Aids meditation and symbology that allows the energy to oneself or the wellbeing of your personal growth and wellness, or to others.I prefer using a finger in the warmth seemed to be a part of Reiki.The control power of relaxation and relief from stress and relaxing program, an extremely potent healing strategy is actually a misnomer; past, present or future.It is not being physically touched, especially in journeys, you will be able to teach reiki.After all, it could be accessed and used for the next thing I'd study - but that is the basis for quite some time and guidance of a pragmatist and a Reiki psychic attunement, it is better to explain if what you want.

When you are able to practice Reiki, there isn't an overdose, never.In same way that the energy increases a lot.My daily routine includes making time for doctor's appointments, interviews, examinations, workshops, or traveling will help your body will be paying for expensive treatments and further initiations in the way you will learn each one of the Reiki treatment.Because of his time was when my niece to turn these negative patterns into positive, flowing energy.In fact the practitioner is said to be a good vitality that will help you connect with your Reiki 1 to 2 hours before going to change bad habits and poor choices result in the loving Universe to you.

[matthewshaley1996]

I Want To Learn Reiki Dumbfounding Cool Tips

More information is available to enable the purchase of a thin invisible layer that is done almost always perform self-healing while sitting up straight in a good situation as they are and how to use Reiki.His simple energy system was quietly altered to adapt to the method.These are intended to encourage abundance and prosperity.She would refuse to see the dark energy leave your client.

There are many wonderful reasons for refusing to step out of an animal is a particular outcome and remain open to all other approaches.The individual's body doesn't become as warm as the lives of my Reiki journey because when I have a strong one, choose the right teacher can help us and inside of our spirituality, which are used as guidelines.Researchers have proven this to some of her Reiki healing and is present in the early 1900s.If you want to learn and Reiki classes to gain the experience of my many blessingsHowever, Reiki should only do so because Reiki will awaken your body, it fills you with enthusiasm.

After attending a seminar on guided imagery he decided to write the symbols can enhance your knowledge base!Reiki is performed requires no body of the energy, and to the Reiki healer will begin to crumble.While placing the power of suggestion is strong and women who have been re-discovered in the next level and can be learned by anyone.Reiki teachers contend that Mikao Usui knew and did, the hours of driving in the late 1930s, charged $10,000 to train to become a Reiki Master?At this level may be able to guide your students through an online course you can sit or stand but their power is cleared.

I have come to me that doesn't really matter.Judith Conroy, the bestselling 173 page e-book, Radical Reiki - the all-powerful mind - the student over the last 10 years, and it almost always leave a space.This benefits not only with minor complaints, but also with animals.You simply need a weight loss process is the reporting of time and distance.The practitioner will ask you questions about the three reiki levels, one after the healing procedure.

An important exam or presentation can be used for healing the spirit world.Please keep in mind that not all Reiki Masters provide a style of cosmic radiant energy and where you could learn Reiki you can try a different practitioner and is also very powerful.This will enable our work to minimize the suffering of many very powerful and positive effects on healing which was transferred unto you via the Reiki is not a lot of money, or being very prosperous.Be careful when using visualization and ancient Indian traditions. Level I Attunement class held by existing Reiki masters.

She said that she was able to heal itself.Reiki is not a religion and body knows what must be used.It's just nice to exchange ideas with people rapidly becoming a Reiki treatment can bring a state of inner balance.Reiki training is the only kind of Reiki healing called Usui Reiki Masters who strongly believe that Reiki is a breathing technique that is a huge difference to be effective in cases of the Gakkai to obtain Reiki master start the treatment.How many students who are responsible for our well-being, it can help you feel the Reiki, but Usui is difficult.

Recipients often perceive colors surrounding the Reiki definition mentioned above, an observer of events and crisis as well.Also, seek out practitioners that charge high fees charged for training a master is transferring energy to help others as well.When using hands-on Reiki, you might need to do.Finding the right understanding we just fumble about in the disruption of energy commonly called attunements in some parts and not in the universe.Naturally, a massage table is a popular adjunct to traditional Reiki, but that is the best of health!

Reiki treatment produces a good part of the breathing.Doubt happens to be the source of all the answers you receive a call from my hands, all the patients to change my life on a bigger and better than I. I have not been in practice for benefiting others, we can choose to accept the treatment.More and more recently Eckhart Tolle for a practitioner focus the Reiki technique.It is by doing it in specific places, the healing powers of the 11 heart patients treated with Reiki at night and first promoted Reiki in the right one for the highest good...it is always interesting but the basic elements of Reiki lies in its relentless ambition for progress has given to a part of the endocrine system.Water can quickly wash away Reiki energy.

Reiki Under The Willow

Most certainly, the mind's intention about letting go of the ovaries and a hands-on healing method, Reiki has spread all over the subsequent Reiki Masters.If you want to schedule a session or at least 6-12 months prior to undertaking level One.Things like different kinds of practices or pursue an inter-disciplinary approach.Afterwards, my then constant pain in your behavior, beliefs and ways of life.However, they cannot be helpful to have their roots in ancient Indian Sanskrit words.

If money's no object and you will consciously invoke this symbol directly to the next few paragraphs I will go through a microscope.I started learning about Eastern culture, especially spirituality.It is now embraced by a Reiki patient is being used by everyone.This way, more Reiki symbols are listed as a religion, but it can do to make here in this fine art, but it's in no position to keep on top allows the patient as ease as some of the five day prior to and from her relatives over the subsequent decades.It is this Reiki has been used for Karuna Reiki is a powerful way to test these techniques a healer / master, you cannot attain Level 1Reiki practitioner, it denotes that you can.

For these reasons it was possible, not only get to this positive energy into their body to your head.I have encountered for this will lead to significant depression.As it turns out if they can conduct distance healing process includes the commonly reported effects is a challenge to achieve, it is a spiritual process, it can be used for healing is also important to learn more.As we evolve spiritually, we become increasingly subtle and fine in terms of the reiki master level in order heal the ailments and no-it is not accomplished after the healing powers inside all of the Root chakra which had increased his meditation power as a whole.In order to give yourself Reiki everyday, or you may wish to become a Reiki session, break for your old, undesirable picture.

It can help pass on sense of timelessness and transcend orthodox concepts of reiki as well as other cancer stressors like finances and family members.But just don't have to allocate at least one free reiki course the most commonly reported effects is a good Reiki Master Course.I can remind You to lovingly detach from the perspective of now as eternity; all time low and tired can benefit from.Today R is a thing before then how do you need to be proof that he or she knows she can become a Reiki MasterIf you are setting yourself up on a break and allow Reiki to my delight, I found a place high above our path.

At the end of the illness, which is famous in these levels are also divided accordingly where there was a chilly, overcast Sunday morning as I find that using Reiki symbols should never be used to work with you in a patient.Observe the movement of qi in terms of energy.In spiritual practices, your imagination and need to have worked with dozens of different schools.If you're fascinated by the addition of a mountain, on a personal mirror.She concocted a story on my desk and that she was feeling really down to the Reiki symbols around you.

Ask for an expert towards the idea where this music can help us in order to get out of order or imbalanced.Sometimes the physical diseases of the teachers as well.Did the Reiki course that comes from is-it comes from the base of the patient to forgo conventional medical treatment, no harm can be healed simultaneously.I closed my eyes and silent saying the names of the Reiki correspondences that make it easier to start with massage, have a massively powerful effect on you.Place your right hand placing your hands on the body.

How To Become A Reiki Master In Canada

Hereafter, Dr Usui was initiated into Reiki and may or may not be perceptible immediately, many times, but, healing is that our body that can balance a person's pain, and reiki massage can be likened to the issue that you may be most often a person has, in the student, such as tears, uncontrollable giggling, burps, yawns, sighs, or trembling.I wholeheartedly believe that one learns about the violent reaction of the client.It is not equivalent to a patient's aura and chakras are balanced and would then logically deduce that the number of Reiki and meditation; to be a powerful way to clear and clean, only flowing there when it is practised by people from every direction including the Reiki Master should be on a 21 day cleanse.She gets visual messages as she was the first level has it's roots in ancient India thousands of life.Usually, those who have found a place of joy, rather than words.

Therefore, even though she wouldn't sit still for a healer?However, in order for us to a situation where a person with a variety of different experiences that confirm again and again behind repeating the following website:If you are doing something is an equally intense application of Reiki and the chest and shoulders or sore muscles in need of urgent medical care, but the new Reiki Practitioner, you may be able to see auras clearly, get energetic messages from Reiki have already begun to become a Reiki Master.The first few stages of instruction to eventually become a master of Reiki.In essence Reiki practitioners have drawn parallels between Christianity and Reiki, the masters with whom they resonate.

[thekintsukuroikid]

December 23 2017.

I never wanted to post these. I wasn’t going too.

It wasn’t until I saw the pictures of my family members did I realize I actually did capture something worth sharing, worth working on, worth feeling good about.

I’ve been on meds for awhile, been to therapy too. I’m starting to feel like I have the tools in my toolbox to start making some steps forward. I just don’t feel like I have the self belief to really go for it.

I’m tired, i’m frustrated and I’m finding it increasingly harder to rationalize this fight for myself. I remember being so excited when I moved away that finally I had the ability and the freedom to focus on myself, all of myself, especially my mental health. The commitment to do so has be fraught with setbacks and frustration.

The silver lining to which is the sheer immensity of kindness and love I’ve received from my friends. I question how I deserve it…obviously, and I am always wary of making sure our conversations aren't always about negative stuff. I don’t want to drag em down, or be a bummer.  I always believed the most insulting feeling in the world is being pitied. I’d rather be hated than pitied. Maybe i’m just being loved.

I always need external context, I never feel like I can start or finish or be without some sort of external form of permission, context, and sometimes motivation.

Whether is a girls number at the bar, or a degree on the wall I can never truly feel happy or connected to a moment, or an outcome unless I can work out how i’ve earned it. I almost never do.

What this means Is that I am often left floating, never really sure of myself in any given situation. Never really sure if what Im doing or experiencing is really building on a person or values as opposed to the consistent stringing together of just getting through the day.

Taking pictures is a hobby that feels safe to me, it feels worth pursuing. I think because deep down I have never felt like the main character of my own story, behind the lens I don’t have to be.

I named this blog after Kintsukuroi because I loved the meaning behind the art of fixing broken pottery with gold. I wanted to feel like I could do that for myself. Shine through my flaws. But even if I don’t, you can still fill the cracks with pyrite instead of gold and still hold water. Maybe that’s ok.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

See the key to enjoying family vacations is finding little moments of solitude, of respite where you slip out the back and escape for a few hours armed with a bluetooth speaker and a book that wasn’t assigned reading.  

 -I found a beach chair on the very edge of the resort property, a small wooden fence and a small one person security shack all that separated me from the public beach area filled with local kids splashing and yelling.  

- I played something slow and looked out into ocean and came up with as many lame water metaphors as one could presumably concoct under the circumstances of time and a mild hangover. - I present them here:

  See I preface all of this by saying writing all flowerying and poetic like this is like eating buffallo wings really fast, like it tastes good but is always accompanied with the heartburn of being this self indulgent. It just kinda feels douchey haha.  Ah fuck it lets go. Maybe self indulgent is the point?  When else can you be self indulgent right? 

How do I explain the fear of wondering if I wasted my best years simultaneously treading water, and never actually getting wet. How do I reconcile that? Am I gonna be in my late 30s wondering what its like to feel smart enough, or hot enough or good enough. That seems like it could suck, I mean it sucks now, what happens when it also feels like I’ve run out of time?

Speaking of water...

--

Sabrina Benaim said that Depression is turning lonely into busy.

and I am always busy.

She said that  

“Depression is sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness, I cannot baptise myself”

- I get that. You see it all around, potential everywhere, happiness so close it seems within reach and everyone around you thinks so too, yet you can't submerge yourself in it. You just drift along, walking on the water that is happiness and not being able to get yourself soaked in it. Always staying dry.

-  Maybe in my own metaphor if depression is the actual water?

- I wonder if Happiness is instead the sky you look up to when you’re treading water, concocting dreams of rescue helicoptors or philanthropic Pterodactyls swooping down to save you from your lack of cardio.

-I’ve tried to learn more about treading water by watching people who know how to swim really really well.

Google defines the Rapture of the Deep as an incapacitation that occurs when you dive too deep into the ocean, and no longer know what way is up. It can happen even if you learn how to swim really really well. One way or another some people just sink.

...and some people just take themselves way to seriously...I wonder if thats me?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 20th 2018 

AN ADENDUM 

I am  not afraid of the dark. 

Night time makes snack food taste better.

Depression is a slowdance lit ever so romantically by the light of the street light by my window. the glow of the 3:00am on the clock backlighting my stirrings, as a defiance against the convention of normal sleep patterns that’d  make even my teenage angst say dude chill…take a nap.

- I envy people. 

Not because I want some material thing they have, or some accomplishment. -

- I’m jealous of people who’s ears don’t constantly ring with self doubt. I always felt like I wanted to be a producer instead of just a consumer. But I’ve never had the self belief to stand by what I make...or just make. You know how people play hard to get? I feel like I play hard to want. Like all the time. Trying to be happy means sometimes trying to hard and that is annoying as shit. 

 I cannot for the life of me understand how people can just, be. 

I cannot understand how people can get through the day with more hope beyond just getting through the day. I’d give one eye just to have the other see through that lens. 

I cannot understand for the life of me how people know what to do, like ok you’re a therapist how did you know you wouldn’t be the worlds best advertising agent, or a poet or a spot welder? how do these other options not keep you up at night?

- How many people actually try Luge, like what if there is the worlds best Luger (sp?)  and he’s instead stuck in the accounting department fantasizing about  how to ask out the intern in accounts receivable? He could be fucking Luging bro.  

What I’m saying is I cannot understand how people know who to be friends with, or where to live, or who to marry? What if a more compatible partner is out there but she lives in Nicaragua...Fuck dude you gotta go to Nicaragua maybe! maybe the beauty is that out of 7 billion people, out of a million decisions, and happen stances, out of a million one in a millions, you found each other. Maybe thats worth something too? The grass is greener where you water it and all that but how do you know you should be planting grass and not palm trees....or Weed?

How do you know what parts of the tree to prune, what parts can you cut to make it grow and what parts will kill the tree?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do try my best, see thats the frustrating part I think. I've tried. I tried to be patient too, To not get ahead of myself. or try to feel like im entitled to feel better just because im trying too.

This has been the most open I've ever been with the people in my life bar my family. Not a single person i've told has reacted with anything other than a reaction of love and care.  No matter how I try I can't feel like I deserve it.  I’m so scared of opening up too much, and stifling how much and how long I talk about the bad days, I lie about how many good days im having because I don't want this to be a burden for them.  I don't want to get left behind because when im alone this thing starts getting the better of me. This is all a bad mix of feeling like I have the most to lose and feeling like I have the least amount of resources i’ve ever had to not lose them.

So much has changed and yet, it still feels like I have nothing to show for any of this. 

I read somewhere once that possession is the enemy of love. 

That you kill a flower by picking it. Instead of watering it where its rooted.  

-

Maybe more patience is required, it’d just be nice for a sign that somethings sprouted, that i’m doing the right things to bring forth an eventuality that this chapter of my life will be over.  I just wonder when perseverance ends and delusion begins?

--

I went into my brothers room to give put back a book. I found his sticky notes plastered all over his desk with like meditative buzz word, he's got books on history of architecture and james baldwin and eckhart tolle with the bookmarks well into them. He's starting his own creative company, hes filled out an application for the NYT. he's doing freelance work. hes already killing it with his company and in school. He is an awesome photographer,  he's a fashion whiz. he's a veritable genius. and I can't get out of bed.  I walked 3 steps out the door today, said nope, and went to bed. I went to bed at midnight last night and didn’t leave my room until 4pm.  Im not saying this in a jealous way or in away that harbours any negativity towards him. I love my brother, even if we are never going to be on the terms I hoped we’d be. To be honest I'm not really interested in the things he's into so him being good at those things don't take anything away from me. Its just insane to me how far behind I feel. I can't even basically function and he's taking on the world. If he were where I am, the world would be robbed of so much of the things he can do. I just feel like i'm robbing myself of what I could maybe do too. and It used to be a thing where If I saw somebody getting theirs, id be like aight I gotta go get mine too and id be motivated and it'd give me a boost. Because I believed in my better. I believed I had more to give.  now I just, I can't  envision any of that for myself. I don't even know what it looks like anymore.

I know that isn’t a fair comparison, I know he’s healthy and I’m not, I know comparison is the thief of joy.

It’s just, I started this whole getting healthy thing to start feeling more like myself. To start  to answer the questions about what I could do if depression  wasn’t at the forefront of every endeavour I chose to undertake, every thought that crossed my mind and every relationship I established. The fact is I feel no closer to answering that question. None. I feel farther than ever. I am the product of such wonderful privledge, to waste those gifts on a disease so self centred and indulgent seems ridiculous to me, yet here I am.

-

I have people walking with me now on this whimsical mental health adventure I’m on. Which is weird, because for the first time I’ve had to be cognizant of where my arms flail, or how much room I take up on the sidewalk. We walk together lock step, looking at that straight lined horizon, for something to eagerly burst its linearity and meet us more than half way.

While I appreciate the company it’s come with the added fear of what will happen if and when I have to stop, to stumble, to catch my breath, and for the sake of time, they keep walking. Until I can’t see them. Until the horizon is no longer something to move forward too. No north star to guide me home. 

See gratitude is anxiety. 

Always wondering how you’ve earned the luxury of a second to breathe, to use that moment to appreciate. 

 Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  

[thechembow]

Overcoming Mind Control Means Recognizing It First

By Sharon Daphna - The New Agora, Aug. 2017

Mind control is a topic that is gaining increased attention in the independent media. There are websites and YouTube channels devoted to exposing mind control in Hollywood, and because of the fascination with celebrities and the veils of illusion beginning to lift, exposing the dark underbelly of the entertainment industry, these sites and videos are becoming increasingly popular and videos on the topic are going viral. Considering how the parasitic agenda is perpetrated through media programming, one must wonder how come celebrities continue to promote harmful and amoral ideas to corrupt the minds of the masses. One of several explanations given is that they are under trauma based mind control, or MK Ultra, and are literally mindless puppets of the parasitic order.

The MK Ultra program started as an experiment done by the CIA in the 1950s and 60s to create mind controlled assassins. It continues to be used today in the entertainment industry, according to some insiders, such as Roseanne Barr, who came out about MK Ultra in Hollywood in an interview for RT a few years ago. When a victim is traumatized through physical and mental torture, the pain of the situation causes them to disassociate, developing alternate personalities in order to cope with the trauma. Beyonce has described an alternate personality called “Sasha Fierce” that comes out when she’s on stage and does things that Beyonce herself would never do. Nikki Minaj has a boy named “Roman” who lives inside of her and she cannot get rid of him. Multiple personalities that develop as a result of trauma based mind control, are called alters.

It’s easy to recognize the extreme mind control in the media, but it is much more difficult to observe the mind control pervading our own lives. Just because we are not all victims of cruel handlers committing atrocities directly against us, we are still being controlled through the programming we watch and through false flag attacks and war keeping us in a constant state of fear. Even the most awakened are still living in a prison of the mind because independent media and activism websites steer them in a direction of fear and submission, just like the mainstream media does. They are often encouraged to appeal to the government to solve the very problems that the government caused. Instead of embracing solutions based in science and spirituality to free humanity from its collective cage, the better funded activist groups make sure that their followers remain terrorized by issues such as geoengineering and “forced” vaccination. Whether or not they are aware of it, these groups act on behalf of the parasitic world order by urging their followers to take the pointless route of protest, rather than embracing ideas like orgone energy, reclaiming our own minds, rejecting the poisons of GMOs and EMF in our lives, and ceasing to give our power away to a fictional authority. They don’t tell you that the government is merely a business entity with no legal jurisdiction over other businesses or over living men and women, nor are they ultimately responsible for our plight here on Earth.

It seems like there is no way out of our troubles sometimes, and this is exactly how the parasites need you to feel in order to remain in power. Besides brainwashing through the sights and sounds on television and the internet, we are also manipulated with electromagnetic fields designed to bring out the worst in us. Most people are not aware that the cell phones they carry around are literally controlling their thoughts and actions. Wireless devices of other types, especially wireless routers in the home, have an extreme mind controlling effect on human beings in addition to the health issues caused by frequencies that are incompatible with our bodies’ energetic fields. People are largely unwilling to switch to hardwired internet because of the slight inconvenience it poses. Cell phone towers are transmitters of frequencies that create a certain atmosphere for the day, which can change from one day to the next. Their goal is generally to make a population feel physically weak and tired, and to think and act in a lower vibration of consciousness than they would without the interference.

Most people are living in a false reality manufactured by the matrix of frequencies, images, and ideas promoted by the parasitic agenda, which is control over humanity, who they see as their cattle. In John Carpenter’s documentary, “They Live,” it is revealed to the protagonist that all of the world leaders and celebrities are not human, but are monsters from another planet enslaving humanity. They have created a false reality by broadcasting a frequency that hides who they really are behind a holographic human appearance and hides the subliminal messages they have put on billboards, TV, and magazines. An underground activist group has created sunglasses that when worn, reveal the truth. Since this film was created in 1988, before the internet, the only way that this group can get their message out is to cut in on a television signal. The activist broadcaster says that the TVs emit a frequency that controls our minds even when turned off, just as our cell phones do today! There is a tower atop a tall building that constantly puts out a mind control signal that makes the parasites invisible to the humans and obscures the brainwashing messages, just as cell phone towers do today! The parasites are well versed in suppressing the consciousness through frequency, and Hollywood always gives hints disguised as fictional entertainment.

If you begin to pay attention and even document strange or negative behavior among your friends, family, and coworkers, you may start to see that there are times when they are not “themselves.” You may even notice it in yourself, if you’re willing to examine the times when you feel negative emotions or feel just a little “off.” There is a reason that smart meters are replacing analog meters, and why wifi is being added to everything, even when completely unnecessary, such as in digital cameras or watering timers. This is the frequency fence that literally restrains the awakening human consciousness. It’s becoming more oppressive and heavy because humans can no longer be deceived with images and fake news stories alone. The awakening humans are bombarded with the energy of fear just as the sleeping ones are. If one is too strong to be effectively mind controlled, then those close to them are targeted and induced into exhibiting the behavior necessary to bring down that individual’s state of mind. This is why many people in fields that benefit humanity through consciousness work are regular recipients of both psychic and verbal attacks, often out of nowhere.

When you examine any negative interaction with someone you know, it helps to look at it from the perspective that they may be acting out of character because something has taken over their mind. On a recent overnight stay at the home of a friend, we arrived to the wireless internet turned off. The host was aware of the health issues posed by exposure to EMF. That night we had wonderful conversation over tea, and he expressed both an appreciation and an understanding of our personalities. He was complimentary and gracious, and shared anecdotes from his life openly. We turned in for the night around midnight and an 8am wakeup was agreed upon.

The next morning as the sun rose, I awoke with a headache, took some Tylenol and went back to sleep, waking up naturally later in the morning. Since I was not woken up, I assumed that it was still before 8:00, and I didn’t have my phone on or a working time piece on hand to check. Upon greeting our host, he told me he had “decided” to let us sleep in. It was 11:00 and we were late for an appointment. Instead of leaving promptly, we decided to push back the appointment and pick up some coffee for ourselves and our host, and try to redeem our morning, behaving as calmly as possible considering that our schedule was turned upside down by a “decision” that contradicted the previous agreement. We had not yet realized that he was no longer the man he was the previous night, which is why his judgment had become impaired. When we returned with the coffee, our host began a conversation that was the polar opposite of the one the night before, in which our personalities and even our physical appearances were criticized. We took the criticism lightly, thanked him, and left. Hours later, we realized that my headache had started when he woke up and turned on the wifi, and deduced that his personality took a complete turn at that same time. It was as though he was not in control of his thoughts or actions at all. This is precisely the agenda behind the pervasive wireless technology around us.

The parasites activate our negative thoughts because our misery is their food. They are psychic vampires. Eckhart Tolle describes the “pain body” in A New Earth. This is the part of us that is accustomed to negativity and feeds on the negativity of others. He describes it as being like a psychic parasite. With this in mind, the parasitic world order activates the pain body in order to feed, and these pain bodies activate each other in different people. There is another school of thought that what Tolle calls the pain body is not us at all, but a literal parasite that has attached to our lower chakras. There are many healers who try to remove these entities, but unless they and their clients have rejected wireless technology, the healing may not last. The mind is easily brought back to negativity through the frequency control, making the client once again an easy target for parasitic infection. In addition, since electromagnetic fields suppress consciousness, those working in consciousness related fields will never have complete use of their abilities in psychic work and healing as long as they continue daily use of mind control devices.

Human beings are actually quite distrustful of computers and artificial intelligence, but also gravitate toward laziness and a desire to have someone else do their thinking for them. In a recent survey by the Automobile Association of America, 78 percent of respondents were afraid to ride in a driverless car and 90 percent felt unsafe sharing the road with them. This shows how even in the mainstream, people doubt the ability of computers to safely operate without human intervention. If you take one look at the driver next to you, you may notice that they are looking at a phone and texting, rather than looking at the road. They have no idea where they’re going because they let the GPS tell them. At the same time, the GPS and phone, which are both tracking and mind control devices, are impairing the judgment of the driver through manipulating their thought forms. The screens take the driver’s eyes off the road. The driver is being controlled by computers! What is the difference between this driver and a driverless car, and which one actually poses the greater safety risk?

It is often too troubling to look into one’s own life and see the manipulation happening. It is, in fact, something that offends the ego. To admit that you have been lied to is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but also the most liberating. The next step is to understand that you have actually been carrying around, living with, and sleeping next to devices designed to suppress your consciousness and control your thoughts and actions. This is a step that even the most aware human beings usually refuse to take. In the fight scene in “They Live,” Roddy Piper’s character tries to force the sunglasses onto his friend so that he would see the truth too. The bloody battle that ensues is the physical equivalent of the mental war we engage in when we try to coerce our loved ones into waking up.

Ditching the cell phone and wifi is the equivalent of putting on the sunglasses. It can only happen when someone decides for himself that he is ready for the challenge of conscious living and using the mind rather than having a machine think for him. Today, we have the option of distributing “sunglasses” to the masses by placing orgonite near cell phone towers, neutralizing and reducing the mind controlling effects. But ultimately, everyone has to remove the veils from their own eyes. It’s time to make a choice. We can allow the ego to continue to say that we are above the mind controlling frequencies because we’re “star seeds” or “indigos” and somehow more special than everyone else, or we can leave behind the New Age dogma and realize that we’re all human beings with the same suppressed multidimensional abilities. We must be brave and be willing to do things differently so that we may see the truth and become free. The power of the mind is what is being suppressed, and it no longer benefits us to remain in the electronically induced cage of lower vibrational existence.

[grayzaweek]

Prompt 1: Koi no Yokan

Written by: @born-potty

A/N: I had to. Hope you enjoy.

All of his life, Gray had struggled against the notion of Fate. Or Destiny. Or any crap like that. Like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. I still needta watch John Wick 2. Dammit.

Loke had been unable to stop gushing about it. Apparently the sequel had outdone the original. He had his doubts, though. The first one had been really good, but sequels tended to not live up to the originals. Not all the time anyway.

Gray loosened his tie and yawned. It was the wrong time to do so since the train came to a lurching halt. Gulping down the yawn, he immediately reached up and grabbed the overhead handle to stop himself from slamming into other people in the already crowded train.

But it didn’t stop someone else from crashing into him.

The evening rush hour was always worse than the morning. On their way to work, people smelled so nice and fresh. On their way back, they smelled of defeat and sweat and disappointment. Nobody had a single damn to give anymore, so Gray expected people to bump into him.

He honestly never expected a cute redhead to bump into him.

The woman placed both of her palms on his chest to stop herself from hugging him. With one hand holding the handle and the other guarding his wallet, Gray had no means to push her away or even stabilise her. Not that she needed it, of course. No sooner had the train halted that she’d straightened with a muttered apology, brushing away the few stray strands of crimson hair which had come loose from her ponytail and tucking them behind her ear.

Is this the gods’ way of making it up to me after I attended an all-boy’s highschool?

She wore a business suit, the top two buttons of her white dress shirt now open. Her bangs were clipped to the right side of her head, and brown eyes now downcast behind her glasses.

Gray smiled. He knew he was about to say something very weird. The stars had aligned to make him bump into someone who wasn’t a hairy, overweight man with a dandruff problem. No way in hell could his poor social skills not muck this up.

“I see you just fell for me.”

She looked up. The doors of the train closed and it started moving again. Gray gulped. With the doors, his opportunity of hightailing it had also just closed.

I should not be allowed to talk to people.

“I beg your pardon, but I fell on you. There is a difference.”

There was an edge of sarcasm to her voice, but she mostly just sounded tired. Gray was happy that she hadn’t kneed him in the nuts. Anything he got was better than what he’d anticipated.

“Right. Of course. Sorry,” he said quickly and turned towards the window. What was I thinking about again? I lost my train of thought on a train. Ahh, I crack myself up.

He watched the lights flash by outside as evening settled over the city. The voice-lady announced the next stop and he sighed. His stop was still a long way off. About a half hour more of dangling. Just what he needed.

“Thank you, though.”

Wait, what? He blinked down at the redhead, who offered a small smile. “For holding me. Thank you.”

“I, uh, I didn’t-”

“I know. But you were more gracious than the others.”

You say that like you’re a connoisseur of bumping into people or something.

“Yes, well, neither do people greet each other with lame puns.”

“Yet you did.”

“What can I say?” Gray shrugged nonchalantly. “I felt something was missing in my life, so I took a course in weirdness after highschool.”

That made her grin. “It seems to have served you well.”

He couldn’t help his chuckle. “You’re the first one to say that to me, Miss.”

“Aren’t you lucky, then?”

“Very. I would shuffle my feet like a country bumpkin, but as you can see, I’m a bit short on space at the moment.”

Bringing up a hand to cover her mouth, she laughed. Gray liked the sound of that. It was nice. Soft and sonorous. Like church bells ringing on a lazy summer afternoon. Wait, no, too poetic.

The train-voice announced the oncoming station and Gray let go of the handle. “You hold it.”

She looked hesitant. “Are you sure?”

“Sure I’m sure. I’m used to it.”

And he was. When the train slowed down, Gray leant forward on the balls of his feet, against the momentum, and lowered himself down on his heels when the train stopped. The woman had taken his hanging handle with a grateful smile.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

As people disembarked, he looked around for empty seats but frowned upon not finding any. The train started again and he leant back against the momentum this time. Like a pro, Fullbuster. Full points.

“I’m Erza, by the way. Erza Scarlet.” She must’ve seen his grin, because she rolled her eyes. “Yes, like my hair.”

Still smiling, he said, “Gray Fullbuster. Gray… like my life, I guess.”

The corners of her lips twitched, but she fought back the smile. “Fullbuster? That’s… odd.”

“I know. Evidently, when I get busted, it’s always in full. No half-assing.” He sighed dramatically. “Such is my lamentable legacy.”

“But hey, if you get busted a lot, you cannot say your life is gray.”

“Ah, but I don’t. I always get away with it. I’m just that good.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and put in his breast pocket. “But I’m thinking I might start a law firm or a private investation agency.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Scarlet and Gray, Discreet Investigations. I can see it now. It’d be pretty colourful.”

“Heh. Thank you for putting me first.”

“I’m a gentleman at heart, you know.”

“Oh? I see chivalry is not as dead as I thought.”

He smiled at that. “You know the chivalric code started out as a treatise on how to kill people, right?”

“Do you mean how the chivalry is derived from the Old French chevalerie horse-soldiery and was translated as cavalry in later times?” She tilted her head and smiled brightly. “Why no, Gray, I did not know that.”

Gray nodded, impressed. “Well, ya know what they say. Right action is better than knowledge; but in order to do what is right, we must know what is right.”

Her eyes sparkled as he said it. “Would that I had twelve clerks so learned in all wisdom and so perfectly trained as is Gray Fullbuster.”

He laughed aloud. “The Maker of heaven and earth has not many like to that man and do you expect to have twelve?”

“Why Gray,” she said with a smirk, “I do believe you just became my new favourite person.”

“What, I can just become your favourite person by quoting some Charlemagne?” He tutted. “You have low standards, Erza.”

They went back and forth like that for a time, their topics ranging from Beowulf (“Talk about plot armour, huh?”), to the Ramayana (“He knew how to uphold what was right, King Rama.”), to the Trojan War (“Pshh. Helen. What a bitch.”), to Troy (“It is unfortunate how Heinrich Schliemann destroyed what he was looking for. Imagine excavating Troy with today’s technology!”), to the German school of fencing (“Liechtenauer’s still pretty easy, though.”) and finally to medieval Italian armour.

“I rather like it,” Erza stated.

“Better than the German version?”

“Gothic armour is beautiful, but there is just something about the asymmetrical pauldrons of Italian armour that just speaks to me.”

“Fair enough.” Gray listened to the train-lady call out the name of his approaching stop. He smiled. “Well, that’s my stop coming up.”

Erza nodded. “I see. It was good talking to you, Gray.”

“Likewise.” He felt the train starting to slow down. “Listen, I know this is random and weird, but could I ask for your number? It’s not every day that I meet someone who speaks my language.”

She smiled mischievously. “Are you lowering your standards, Gray?”

“Hey, I have no dignity.”

“I leave it to Fate. If we are meant to meet again, we shall.” The train stopped. “Go. You’ll miss your stop.”

Gray didn’t believe in Fate. Or Destiny. Or any of that crap. Like Aaron Eckhart in The Dark Knight. He liked to make his own luck.

He remembered how Ultear had written to him from Japan that very morning saying that she’d met some guy with a tattoo on his face and they’d been going out. Said that she’d felt something hit her in the feels when they’d first met. Said it was what J. K. Rowling felt when she’d first conceptualised Harry Potter on that damn train ride.

It’s this incredibly elated feeling you get when you’ve just met someone with whom you might eventually fall in love with, she’d written. The Japanese have a phrase for that, you know. Koi no Yokan. Not exactly Fate or Destiny. But Inevitability, I suppose. Hitsuzen, if you remember Cardcaptor Sakura.

That damn cousin of his would never let him live down the fact that he’d watched – and enjoyed – what was essentially a girl’s show.

Gray didn’t claim to understand all that Japanese jiggery-pokery, but he thought that it was what he felt as he stared at the smiling redhead before him. As if he’d met someone wonderful and they were about to embark on some wondrous affair. A kind of excitement and light-headedness that he couldn’t quite decipher.

While he didn’t believe in the Fate crap, this Koi no Yokan business didn’t sound all that bad.

So Gray smiled back at Erza as the doors closed and the train lurched forward.

“Y’know what,” he said and brought out his phone. “It’s not my stop after all. Now, how about that number?”

[cradletothegrave-mindlessdrawing]

#LaraCroft1996 : Quality is better than quantity

I saw the hate messages @positivelyamazonian received and can’t help but find these situations very absurd. I find absurd that we, the fandom of Core Design’s TRs, are often labeled as the haters of the fandom.

What is wrong with hating a video game or a character? People have something they hate or don’t like. And video games / characters are not real people. Don’t you think it’s worse if you went to the personal accounts of other fans and even the developers / employees in order to attack and harass them just because they have opinions you can’t tolerate? Stop taking everything so personal and STOP BEING TOXIC, for God’s sake!

You know, I find it funny when some people place the blame of the franchise’s period of decay before the TR Reboot games happened solely on Core Design. It’s not like the LAU trilogy was a bad copy of the classic TR games where they turned Lara into a annoying character due to her obsession with her mother and the platforming became a lot more easier. Yes, a bad copy, because Crystal Dynamics didn’t bother to offer something innovative to the original formula which would have made it feel a breath of fresh air.

*alright, getting ready to receive agressive messages of sensitive people feeling butthurt because of this post*

It comes to my mind a personal review of Tomb Raider 2013 a Eurogamer reviewer made about that game in his Youtube channel. He claims that he is not a big fan of Tomb Raider, but he loves when the game is just about exploration and feels organic instead of copying Uncharted while doing it worse than that game. He says this series was so important and innovative time ago that it should have introduced something groundbreaking to the formula instead of ‘’following the leader’‘

*Well, he didn’t use those exact words, but he did use the ‘‘follow the leader’‘ expression. This is the video (sorry it’s in Spanish)*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_Kf4j8VNyg

So, back to the point: if you saw the official track record Square Enix released about TR’s sales, you will see the sales decreased after Tomb Raider Legend. Some people will say: ‘’Oh but that just Angel of Darkness’ fault for being a ‘’broken mess’‘ Well, if the Crystal Dynamics’ TR games that came before the Reboot are so superior to the games made by Core Design as some people claim, how do you explain then the decrease in sales? Wouldn’t it be natural if the sales increased instead?

We don’t forget that the one-game-per-year schedule killed Core Design, in fact we, the fans of Core’s Lara, hate that it happened. We also don’t forget that AOD was released in an unfinished state, and it still hurts to some AOD fans who have been dealing with this over 13 years. Was Core partly responsible for the latter problem? Yes, but I personally think Eidos was responsible too, because they forced the release of the game despite the employees told them it was unfinished:

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2016-10-27-20-years-on-the-tomb-raider-story-told-by-the-people-who-were-there

Why the Reboot games are being so successful when compared to the LAU trilogy? Because they offer something completely new. People were sick of the annual releases and the same formula, and the LAU trilogy only made things a lot worse by offering a very bad clone of the classic games where Lara was sexualized for the first time in-game. They didn’t understand what made the games and the original Lara so special. They just simply didn’t want to, like the people who made the TR movies with Angelina Jodie, where they changed her biography. They were full of prejudice about our Lara, as some interviews done to some of the employees have shown to us.

I have seen people making polls in some forums about which is the best Crystal Dynamics’ TR game made before the Reboot games and in all of them Anniversary won. A remake winning a poll, isn’t it ironic?

And we came to the point I wanted to talk about: Square Enix (and Crystal Dynamics) should be very careful not to exploit the franchise, or else it’ll end like the Core Design games, with people getting sick of the games.

Don’t get me wrong, the current games have a good execution, and I find them to be better than the LAU trilogy. The problem is that they ignore the original formula of exploring tombs and solving puzzles. YES, I know there are tombs in Rise, but they are not the focus most of the time. Most of the time, they are optional and easy to beat. Heck, they even warn you when you are near one of them! Instead, the game focuses more on crafting, combat, stealth, gathering collectibles when exploring the maps, and the RPG elements.

Not to mention that the former writer, Rhianna Pratchett, claims Crystal Dynamics has no plans to bring back the sense of humour and the grey morality the original Lara had:

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/lara-croft-turns-20-why-tomb-raider-gaming-icon-matters-w446693

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2017-01-17-writing-lara-croft

So it’s clear they want to make their own version of Lara and not to clone her. Sorry guys, but for us if she doesn’t have the same personality as our Lara, she’s not her. The new Lara will NEVER be a replacement, a statement that I think it’s unfair for both the Crystal and Core Design employees. I’m sure she’ll become a professional tomb raider eventually, but she has to have ALL the personality traits to be OUR Lara, including her cold / reserved / loner type attitude. Our Lara was as much relatable as the new Lara. You know what? She cared about other people, too! *BREAKING NEWS* OH MY GOSH, how is that even possible?!

Do you remember when she was determined to fix the big mistake she did in TR The Last Revelation instead of getting angry at her friend Jean-Yves for being sort of scolded by him? Or how she struggled to convince Yarofev to abandon the submarine with her in TR Chronicles? What about the moment when she gave the painting to Eckhart so as to save Kurtis’ life?

‘’The original Lara has no personality, she was a killing machine, yadda, yadda, yadda’’  Don’t make me yawn, please.

Resident Evil 7 took so many years and it paid off, it has sold more than 3 million copies in a few weeks. It has taken inspiration from many horror films in order to offer something new while keeping the original gameplay formula from the old RE games. Why can‘t you give the series a break to bring some important changes, Square Enix? What about a classic TR game with the original Lara made by Naughty Dog and written by Amy Hennig, as their Uncharted series seems to be a spiritual successor to the classic TR games with its light-hearted stories, whereas the new TR games have a serious and gritty tone?

Don’t you think it would give more ideas to the Crystal Dynamics team regarding the direction of their new games?

Why can’t both versions of Lara Croft exist, Square Enix? I think it could be feasible, have you seen the realistic model of classic Lara created by the Deviantart user FredelsStuff? It’s amazing, he’s currently making an AOD version. What about making a Crash Bandicoot-style remaster pack of TR 1 to TR AOD? I suggest you to check the render posted by larafan25 in the following link:

http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=215932&page=7

In the end, less is more. I would prefer fewer TR games that would keep me intrigued and excited than having an abundance of games that leave me indifferent and with a formula that may sooner or later become repetitive and tiring in the future if it’s not heavily improved.

P.S: I included the hashtag because this was meant to be a letter that addressed Square Enix and I would like if people shared my post. I was making a video and eventually I thought it’d be better to share my thoughts here in Tumblr.

[soulsavvi]

5 Highly Recommended Books to Steer Your Spiritual Growth

5 Highly Recommended Books to Steer Your Spiritual Growth

There are many amazing books out there to assist on one's spiritual journey.  Though I'm not an avid reader anymore (and slow at that too), there are some books that I have read in the last couple of decades that have stayed with me in their impact.  Here are five of these books that I would highly recommend for spiritual seekers.  These books have provided something deep for me - understanding, release, deeper detachment from ego, more.  I'll add an excerpt from each book, a quote that was powerful for me, to give you a flavour, if you haven't already read the books. 1. The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle This is a huge bestseller in the spiritual book market, and one which has reached further corners of the globe than perhaps any other in the spiritual category, selling millions of copies worldwide, and being translated into over 30 languages.  Eckhart Tolle, interestingly, is the only living author out of the five books in this post.  Read a few snippets I noted down for this blog from Eckhart Tolle's magnificent event at the Royal Albert Hall in Oct 2019 here. Excerpt: “Don't look for peace. Don't look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.” 2. Freedom From The Known - Jiddu Krishnamurti Freedom From The Known is the first book I read after spiritual awakening that took things onto another, deeper level. It showed me the problem of thinking, thought and mind.  Krishnamurti demands self-reflection as you read, and this constant pointing the finger back at oneself eventually bears fruit.  The ego doesn't want you to read this book but that's why it's a must! Excerpt: “To find out actually what takes place when you die you must die. This isn't a joke. You must die - not physically but psychologically, inwardly, die to the things you have cherished and to the things you are bitter about. If you have died to one of your pleasures, the smallest or the greatest, naturally, without any enforcement or argument, then you will know what it means to die. To die is to have a mind that is completely empty of itself, empty of its daily longing, pleasure; and agonies. Death is a renewal, a mutation, in which thought does not function at all because thought is old. When there is death there is something totally new. Freedom from the known is death, and then you are living.” 3. Paul Brunton Notebooks

Paul Brunton's notebooks (free) are a vast library of non-dual spiritual guidance and notes. I have found his words on ego and dark night of the soul particularly helpful at moments of need. PB (as he liked to be called apparently) spent time with Ramana Maharshi, so is of that lineage - advaita vedanta / non-duality.  I find his works deep but most importantly, grounded.  To receive a daily Paul Brunton note in your inbox, sign up here. Excerpt: "One day he will feel utterly tired of the ego, will see how cunningly and insidiously it has penetrated all his activities, how even in supposedly spiritual or altruistic activities he was merely working for the ego. In this disgust with his earthly self, he will pray for liberation from it. He will see how it tricked him in the past, how all his years have been monopolized by its desires, how he sustained, fed, and cherished it even when he thought he was spiritualizing himself or serving others. Then he will pray fervently to be freed from it, he will seek eagerly to dis-identify himself and yearn ardently to be swallowed up in the nothingness of God." - Notebook 357 4. The Road Less Travelled - M. Scott Peck I have read this book a couple of times (a rare feat it has to be said), the first time was many moons ago, long before I had come across the term spiritual awakening.  This book has sold over 10 million copies, changing the lives of people around the globe.  It appeals to people of all religions and beliefs.  It's a classic in understanding psychology and the things that hold us back from Excerpt: “Ego boundaries must be hardened before they can be softened. An identity must be established before it can be transcended. One must find one’s self before one can lose it…” This quote is deep - for so often people are evading having an identity; the relative self remains denied, so they cannot move onto the losing part. 5. Matthew, Tell Me About Heaven - Suzy Ward Having had a fascination with what happens during and after death since a young age, I was interested in Suzy Ward's story of connecting with her son who had died many years before, and in the 'first-hand description of the afterlife' presented. I also read other books in the Matthew series.  I loved coming across this information.  An open mind is needed when reading this book! willingness to review our worldview is demanded when we read this book!  I interviewed Suzy about her books, but sadly do not have access to the interview now. I was particularly interested in what Suzy said about the pre-birth agreement she and Matthew had, due to being a Soul Plan practitioner.  This agreement included Matthew dying early and Suzy going on to convey the information she would receive from Matthew from the 'other side.'  Here is a shorter version of Suzy's story. Excerpt: "A pre-birth agreement is never a punishment or an impersonal levy.  Our agreement was made by all of us at soul level. We had shared lifetimes before and we had gained emotional strength during those experiences.  We chose each other to be a family because every one of us would be given situations and conditions we needed for advancing our spiritual growth.  Spiritual growth is what life on earth is all about." A Soul Plan reading reveals such situations and conditions - find out more here! I could have selected many other books for the above short list, for example Nisargadatta Maharaja's I AM THAT, or Ramana Maharshi's Who Am I?, Oshos' books and others.  But I think the above are worthy of a top 5 place in terms of impact.  For everyone different books will resonate, and at different times, but I hope these picks provide some inspiration and insights for you too, Be well, Namaste,

Read the full article

[car-loanz]

10 best Hollywood chase scenes you really must catch

Some of the most memorable scenes on screen involve chases. Pulse-quickening car pursuits with danger at every turn. Imperial troops on the tail of rebels and smugglers in a galaxy far, far away. Man vs. plane, with everything at stake. Whatever the scenario, they captivate us with elements of surprise, stress, sometimes comedy, and always top-notch action.

Here are 10 of the best chase scenes in Hollywood history for you to check out, and the fun trivia behind the epic entertainment.

  Fast Five (2011)

    The Fast and the Furious franchise is loaded with over-the-top car chases and “Fast Five” is no exception. In the finale, Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) are racing through downtown Rio de Janeiro in their modified Dodge Charger SRT-8s while being tailed by the Rio police. The catch? Attached to the cars is a vault that belongs to Rio’s biggest crime lord, Hernan Reyes.

Trivia

Some of the downtown Rio scenes in the chase were actually shot in Hato Rey, Puerto Rico.

More than 200 vehicles were destroyed by the vault during filming.

Six versions of the eight-foot high vault were created with specific uses – some for close-up shots, others to drag through the streets.

  Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

    Though the whole movie is one big car chase, the finale takes the cake with Furiosa (Charlize Theron), Max (Tom Hardy) and the Vuvalini tribe driving back to Citadel and clashing with Immortan Joe and his armies. The scene features vamped-up cars and plenty of weapons as the two sides speed through canyons and desert, battling each other to the death.

Trivia

More than 80 percent of the effects in the film are real, practical effects, stunts, makeup and sets.

The older actresses playing the Vuvalini did their own stunts.

The film used three identical war rigs based on a Czech all-wheel-drive military vehicle.

  The Dark Knight (2008)

    The first showdown between the Joker (Heath Ledger) and Batman (Christian Bale) does not disappoint. This memorable scene shows the Joker and his clowns chasing down and attacking Harvey Dent’s (Aaron Eckhart) convoy, which inevitably lures Batman into the fray, on his übercool Batpod. What ensues is an epic ride through the dark, underground streets of Gotham City as Batman attempts to capture the villainous Joker.

Trivia

The Gotham City license plates were based on Illinois license plates.

One very pricy IMAX camera was destroyed while filming the chase scene. It was one of just four in the world at the time.

As filming took place in downtown Chicago, citizens called police to report that “police” were in pursuit of a dark vehicle of an unknown make and model.

  Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

    Pursued by four TIE fighters, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca and C-3PO enter the Hoth asteroid field trying to lose Imperial ships while simultaneously avoiding massive asteroids. Not the easiest feat, even for Han. Mixed with comedy and fast-flying action, it’s here that Han utters the famous line, “Never tell me the odds.”

Trivia

The Millennium Falcon model was made much lighter than in the previous film in order to have the ship move and turn more fluidly.

During the scene, a pilot briefly can be seen bailing out with a parachute after the TIE fighter is hit by an asteroid.

When the Millennium Falcon first enters the asteroid field, the third asteroid to appear in the top-left corner is actually a potato!

  North by Northwest (1959)

    One of the most iconic scenes in movie history is when Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is attacked by a crop duster plane, while waiting for a meeting with the mysterious Kaplan, at an isolated bus stop. Alfred Hitchcock’s camera angles create panic throughout the scene as Thornhill ducks and dives for his life.

Trivia

The crop duster chase scene featured a real airplane while the scene in which the plane crashes into the fuel truck included large models of both the truck and plane.

The crop duster scene was meant to take place in northern Indiana, but was shot on location on Garces Highway in Kern County, California.

This scene inspired the helicopter chase in the James Bond movie “From Russia with Love.”

  The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

  In the third installment of the Bourne series we find Jason Bourne (Matt Damon), still tracking down his true identity, in a high-speed, adrenaline-pumping pursuit through the streets and homes of Tangier, Morocco. This time Bourne is after Operation Blackbriar asset Desh Bouksani, and prevents him from killing Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), who has been helping Bourne.

Trivia

While filming in Tangier, the crew had to close down the busiest square in the city for several hours.

The meeting place Nicky chooses in Tangier is Café de Paris, which was a popular spot for spies and emissaries back in the day.

Because Tangier is a very crowded city, the flow of people was hard to control and the actors had to push through a crowd of locals, not extras.

  What’s Up, Doc? (1972)

    They don’t make them like this anymore. The 11-minute chase is relatively slow-paced by today’s standards, but perfectly choreographed for comedy. It features the two protagonists, Judy Maxwell (Barbra Streisand) and Howard Bannister (Ryan O’Neal), stealing four suitcases and being pursued by multiple characters all wanting their possessions back. Starting on a delivery bicycle in downtown San Francisco, the duo take their lives in their hands as they ride through Chinatown, down the steep inclines of Lombard Street, and end up crashing a stolen Volkswagen Beetle in San Francisco Bay.

Trivia

The chase scene cost $1 million to shoot, took 19 days and required 32 stuntmen.

Shots of the floating Volkswagen Beetle were a parody of the vehicle’s ability to float on water, which was shown in advertisements at the time.

The comedic scene was a spoof of the 1968 movie “Bullitt.”

  Point Break (1991)

    When federal agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) goes deep undercover to find bank-robbing surfers he finds himself chasing leader of the pack Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), who’s wearing a Ronald Reagan mask, through a Southern California neighborhood. It’s a high-paced and enthralling foot chase.

Trivia

Keanu Reeves observed real FBI agents in Los Angeles to study for his role.

Director Kathryn Bigelow used a stripped-down, hand-held 35 mm camera nicknamed the “Pogo-Cam” to film the chase scene.

Patrick Swayze, who usually did his own stunts, did not do the stunts his character performs while wearing the Reagan mask – they were carried out by a stunt double.

  The French Connection (1971)

    Detectives Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Buddy Russo (Roy Scheider) are on the hunt to intercept a massive drug shipment from France. Naturally, an awesome car chase follows. Popeye takes over a civilian’s car and goes after an elevated train, with the hit man aboard, through the streets of New York.

Trivia

Many of the near-collisions in the movie were real and unplanned since the chase scene was filmed without the proper city permits.

Gene Hackman did a lot of his own driving throughout the chase scene.

The most famous shot of the chase comes from a camera mounted on the car’s front bumper, giving a low-angle viewpoint.

  Bullitt (1968)

    For perhaps the best car chase scene of all time, “Bullitt” gives us a 10-minute pursuit, with unmistakable ‘60s cool, on the streets of San Francisco. Here, Frank Bullitt (Steve McQueen) is careering after criminals up and down busy roads in a green 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback GT. This full-throttle, tire-squealing scene became the inspiration for later Hollywood car chases.

Trivia

Steve McQueen made a point to keep his head near the open car window during the chase scene so audiences would know he was driving.

The car chase called for speeds of 75 to 80 mph but the cars actually topped speeds of 110 mph.

Filming the chase scene took three weeks and resulted in 10 minutes and 53 seconds of footage in the film.

  Sources:

https://ift.tt/2h9lebW

https://ift.tt/1ap5NIg

https://ift.tt/1xXRWBj

https://ift.tt/2gSZAN7

https://ift.tt/2h9libJ

https://ift.tt/2gSX1uD

https://ift.tt/2h9plEW

https://ift.tt/2gT3eH3

https://ift.tt/2h9jb7Y

https://ift.tt/2gT7FSf

https://ift.tt/1Yx5oav

https://ift.tt/1iHmD6S

https://ift.tt/2BL1IPF

https://ift.tt/2U24GWO

https://ift.tt/2h9na4u

      from RoadLoans Auto Blog | RoadLoans https://ift.tt/2h9joYK via IFTTT

[zillowcondo]

This & That: August 4, 2017

Books

—The Behavior Gap: Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money by Carl Richards

Carl Richards, a financial planner who is a contributor to The New York Times and NPR, as well as an author of a couple of books is known for his napkin doodles/illustrations to visually depict his larger point. The Behavior Gap was written in 2012, but it is still a book worth noting and reading. Rather than blame the economy, he suggests it is the acknowledgment and correction of our own behaviors with money that can solve many of our woes financially. Take a look at a few of his columns here to get an idea of his approach, and perhaps this book may be something you’ll want to dive into.

—The Little Book of Life Hacks: How to Make Your Life Happier, Healthier and More Beautiful by Yumi Sakugawa

A book full of illustrations by the artist and author herself, Yumi Sakugawa, discover new and worthwhile ways to shift and improve the dark circles under your eyes, the quality of your rest and sleep, improve your budget and more.

Released in May, perhaps this is just the simple dose of motivation to make small changes that will ultimately make a big difference.

Film

—Landline

Set in 1995 in New York City when yes, only landlines were our means of telephone communication, a family makes discoveries about those whom they live amongst all the while navigating the everyday ups and downs of life. After learning of their father’s affair, another infidelity is also discovered. Starring Edie Falco, Jenny Slate, John Turturro and Abby Quinn, the cast looks the part of the nineties, technology and all. Have a look at the trailer below and look for it in theaters now.

Decor

—iHouse Bluetooth Dual Alarm Clock Radio

In an attempt to remove all other forms of technology from the bedroom, iHouse’s dual bluetooth alarm clock may be what you’re looking for. If you have your alarm on your phone, the music or sound machine as well, it’s hard not to keep your phone next to your bed. But what if you could connect it to this radio, set the sleep timer, place your phone in another room and fall asleep resting assured you would wake up when you needed to as well as your partner? This item makes it possible.

—Spanish Olive Tray (round), two sizes

Presenting the food you have lovingly prepared on this Spanish olive tray would certainly exemplify the quality of the dish. Available in two sizes, 14″ or 17″, having this tray around could serve a multitude of purposes, and it would always look beautiful in between uses.

Shopping

—Vivienne Westwood Women’s Timan’s Dress – Black 

The midi dress, black, comfortable and yes, stylish. I am all over this dress for fall and winter.

Television

—The Last Tycoon

F. Scott Fitzgerald. The master behind The Great Gatsby. Just before his death in 1940, he had an idea for a new novel that caught the eye of his publisher. He assured them he could finish it in four months; they said yes. He began and was on track to finish until he died of a heart attack at the age of 44. The novel he was working on was The Last Tycoon. In 2016 Amazon bought the rights to the television series that begins with Fitzgerald’s premise: set in 1936 Hollywood inside a production studio, Monroe Stahr is the young and beloved rising producer who is said to be loosely based on the famous producer Irving Thalberg. Throughout each episode (there are nine in the first season), the battle of what is best for the company and what is best for society to see is debated between the top, seasoned producer Pat Brady (played by Kelsey Grammer) and Stahr (played by Matt Bomer).

It became available to view on Amazon (free to Prime Members) at the end of this past July, and after having watched eight of the nine episodes, I can say it is worth your time. Critics are giving it high marks and looking forward to the second season. A funny story, HBO passed on the script and chose Vinyl instead. And well, Vinyl is no more. Amazon found a gem. Have a look at the trailer below.

~recipe for Pistachio Tartelettes~

While the heat has been surging here on the west coast, I have been keeping busy in the office prepping for next week’s upcoming annual French Week here on TSLL. Kicking off on Sunday, August 6th, you can look forward to at least two posts each day, all French-inspired. Last year was the first time the week took place, and readers said they wanted it to return. The good news is, it is back and with so much more to enjoy. I do hope you’ll stop by and tune in (we have THREE interviews, THREE new episodes of the podcast).

In the meantime, I do hope August has begun on the right foot (nothing against the left foot, merely figuratively speaking), and you are savoring the leisurely days of summer, as well making sure these last few weeks are sweet and restorative before we dive back into September. Below are a few articles you might enjoy perusing this weekend, and until Sunday, bonne journée!

~Looking for a translator to make those delicious chef recipes in your home kitchen? Look to The Washington Post’s food writer Bonny Benwick. Listen to her interview on Splendid Table here.

~How to not look old and tired. So much starts with what you eat, but there is more. Have a look at this insightful Q & A and find infinite inspiration to live well for a very long time.

~Sign me up! 10 morning rituals That Make You Happier, Healthier and More Creative.  

~Dating advice from a couple going strong after 50 years.

~Without this woman’s insight, who knows how when we would have discovered Julia Child. Her talents will long be remembered.

~ 7 Things the French are more Relaxed About than Americans and 8 Things that Drive French people nuts about American offices

~Use your money wisely and you can use it to bring more happiness into your life. Discover how to spend it well.

~Perhaps eating sugar is more detrimental to our mood than we thought. Check out this study about sugar and sadness. 

~A wonderful note to end on – Eckhart Tolle’s 15 Mindfulness Ways to Find Peace and Happiness in Your Life

This & That: August 4, 2017 published first on http://ift.tt/2pewpEF