#Dark D*ny

[chena-h]

As someone who remembers the flak the Star Wars prequels got and, in particular, the complaints from certain fans about how those movies ruined Darth Vader retroactively

I find the fandom's initial reaction to Dark!D@any (aka D@ny for folks who aren't swimming in that river called The Nile) to be kind of amusing. In part because I think Lucas wanted to do something similar with Anakin in the prequels - basically, examine how power can sometimes corrupt a young, vulnerable person, putting them on a path of self destruction, especially when that person has been brought up to believe they're destined for something greater.

I wonder, sometimes, if Lucas had decided to tell the story of Anakin instead of Luke and Leia first, would the fans have reacted the same way they did to the prequels. Or, would there be a large contingent of Star Wars fans who defend or sometimes outright deny Anakin's villainous choices, like all the way up to the moment he literally chooses to serve the Sith instead of the Jedi (and in some cases after)? Would people still argue that Vader's legacy as an iconic villain was hampered by the prequels if we'd gotten to know his full story first?

I think I have to remember that there's a difference between how Vader/Anakin's story is told vs how readers see D@ny's story in ASOIAF. for the most part, D@enerys is the POV from which her story is most often told. We're in her head for a lot of it, and if we're not, then we're in the pov of someone like Barristan, who's little more than a sycophant. And I think what I'm getting at is that there's an interest in presenting D@enerys' actions as justified, maybe even noble or heroic. For D@enerys, it's self-interest, of course. People, in general, want to believe they're often acting in the right, so they'll look for ways to rationalize things to make themselves look better, even if the facts say otherwise. For Barry, well, he's an old knight who remains heavily invested in the customs and beliefs that lie at the core of Westerosi society. To admit that he has and continues to serve a dynasty that was responsible for years of violent conquest (among other things) is probably too much cognitive dissonance than the old man can take, or so I would suspect.

With Anakin, though, his story is told from a third person omniscient perspective. So, not only do we know more about the world of Star Wars than Anakin might be privy to, we also know (thanks to the non chronological storytelling) how these events are going to play out, and more importantly, how he will be perceived by the narrative (if that makes sense). We know where he's going to wind up is what im saying. We're getting his story, but not solely from his perspective. Thus, we're less tempted to fall into the trap of taking everything at face value and thinking that his reading of events is 100% accurate.

So, now I'm wondering - if seeing Anakin when he was more vulnerable after knowing him as a villain was received poorly, how will it look if and when D@ny's questionable decisions all come to a head and she goes full tyrant, as in she does terrible things while dropping all pretense of believing or caring whether her actions are seen as morally just? How will her descent be received when her actions aren't being filtered exclusively through the perspectives of her and her staunchest supporters? I'd argue that she's pretty close if not already at that point in her story, but it's a matter of seeing how she moves now that she's gone full tilt.

I know Show!D@ny got a lot of negative criticism, but I think grrm could still make her fall just as interesting (and especially tragic) should twow and ados get published. (Also, I attribute the flaws w that arc more to D&D and their rapidly waning interest in the show.)

[bumfuzzled-bee]

Self indulgent Wei drawing for my lock screen <3

[gothamphantomgoat]

[contemplatingoutlander]

A Letter to Rupert Murdoch Upon His Retirement

[Note. Read past the first line--which is meant as sarcasm.]

Dear Mr. Murdoch: I wanted to write to you to thank you for the impact you and yours have had on my life. I once lived peacefully in a neighborhood of people from varied backgrounds. Back then, I never knew nor cared what people’s political affiliations were. In fact, even when dating, asking someone to label themselves D or R would have seemed nonsensical. Thanks to you, half of that neighborhood no longer speaks to the other half. Prior to 2016, I used to attend a family reunion picnic in Pennsylvania, never caring if some of the people were particularly religious. Well, I would like to thank you for your hand in radicalizing and reinforcing perplexing beliefs in about half of the reunion participants. Now the reunions are barely attended and the family has divided into a feud. I want to thank you for the cousins and friends who defriended me, online and in person, when they fell victim to the dark rhetoric you peddle. Convinced now that their lives are under threats from trans criminals and vicious migrants, they are completely unaware of how they’re economic interested are being robbed by a different source. Thank you so much for your enduring spirit of divisiveness. I hope the money you enjoyed while alive was worth all you stole from society. Mostly, may the hatred, division, suspicious, distrust, judgement and malignancy you leashed on us be returned to you a thousand fold….and may your nursing care be delivered with the same love for humanity you left behind. --GWE, NY, commenting on a NY Times article: Rupert Murdoch to Retire From Fox and News Corporation Boards

[edited]

[billskeis]

HIII i love ur work sm! can you make one of bill having a gf who has kinda the same style of him but it’s a mix of grunge, and a bit of nu metal? thank you❣️

ᡣ𐭩 bill w grunge/nu metal gf

headcannons down below!

hot. topic. trips.

it’s one of your favourite stores and whenever the two of you going shopping the both of you cannot pass up the opportunity to go there

“y/ny/n look! isn’t this sick!?”

he does your hair and you do his, whether it be styling or dyeing it, the two of you are always doing it together

loves the feeling of your hands running through his hair, will ask you to do it often

even in the shower :)

btw you guys spend so much money and time on hairspray

matching jewelry and outfits!

they aren’t completely the same, but similar, you guys style the outfits differently but it can still be comprehended that you and bill are matching

“should i wear it with the leather jacket? orrr the striped zip-up?”

“y/n! look at these bracelets i got us! :D” “omgosh bill they’re so cute!” “right!?”

MAKEUP. SESSIONS!!

you loveeee to experiment makeup looks on bill because you’re more expanded with that, and he always says yes when you ask because he just loves spending time with you!

“this feels really nice y/n..” “the makeup is sooo smooth, also, it applies really well to your skin!” “well that’s because you take really good care of me schatzi!”

the music the two of you listen to is somewhat different, but bill enjoys it as long as you do

record shop dates. omfgggg

JUST THINK ABT IT, him and u exploring each other’s music tastes and end up really enjoying it together

you guys def make playlists, you make one for each other and then have a joined playlist

PAINTING NAILSSSSSSS

he lovesss to paint your nails, especially in his signature manicure with the black and the white french tip

“bill this looks really good,” “thank you, now you can think of me whenever we’re not together :)”

whenever he paints your nails like this he’s always touching them or kissing your hands

you leave kisses on him with your makeup and black or dark red lipstick marks are left on his cheeks and neck

will walk around like that, very proudly

“bill take it off we’re home now,” “no! leave me alone i wanna keep it on >:(”

you have to chase him around the room with makeup wipes

[copperpipes]

What’s going on in your after dark AU

I think of it more as a post-movie fic in comic form with a bunch of worldbuilding headcanons but anyways

After Dark is the name of the comic, I've planned two parts, two arcs.

We are just entering the first arc of the comic! Backyard fairies!

Its the farmhouse arc that was present in both the 2003 and 2012 iterations (I've watched both) in which the turtles (try to) heal after a big event, be it a failure or a victory. The surroundings of the farmhouse hold many mysteries, because the hamatos will never catch a break :/ poor guys

The parts of the arc will be more just like little one shots with a thin plot connecting them like in the show instead of the plot being the main focus, it thickens towards the end but overall I'm more exploring the world and the characters and what they've been through.

The main characters in this arc would be Mikey, April, Donnie and Casey because Raph and Leo got the film. Splinter and Draxum won't appear in this arc to deal with the aftermath in the hidden city because they believed the boys would be safe away from it (of course they were wrong). Cassandra has a clan of middle-schoolers to run in new york which was put on lock down, so she too in the end won't be able to visit :[

The episodes would be like this:

Mikey in wonderland- the focus is Mikey, he goes to explore the woods a bit because his arms ache and he needs a distraction.

Target practice- the focus is April, the exploration of her role in the predicament the hamatos are stuck along with a small theme of feminism and her being a part of the clan.

Five easy steps to build a tree house- the focus is Casey, he lost his home, and he realizes the turtles he grew up with are gone with it too, also a glimpse of his past and birth.

Its the IRS! but they're not after Donnie?- amateur timestress tries to impress her mentor, and draggs Mikey with her into the mess.

Germophobia- Mikey drags Donnie into the woods to meet someone he met there. Donnie isn't a fan.

Thats it for the first arc I think. There will be smaller stuff in between that'll show the details, how Raph and Leo are doing, what is up in NY and the HC (hidden city).

The second arc is the infamous tmnt space arrrrc

It'll be called star sailor ✨ the main focus in it will be Donnie :D it'll include the triceratons, fugitoid, many aliens and a lot of existential crisis :'] i think it'll be much more angsty and philosophical then the first arc and ooh can't forget the amount of body horror I've planned >:D

Man I should really make a masterpost

[heartofbusan]

Something I have thought since last year is about the why, why we did not get to see them supporting each other (apart from JK in the dance practice BB. I never had a doubt that JM was off to see JK in NY, at least in some capacity, it would have been very unlike him, and was proven right when the pics of them going to Antova were leaked, and then the boat ride. But I said all along that it was time for them, and that we would not get a live, unlike when JM was with Yoongi, or the like. Although JK begged for a live after the fact, and did not get it bless him, now we have a fuller picture, the reason is clearer still to me. It is the fact that they were already filming, and about to give us enough content, there was no way we needed a live as well, that time spend before AYS, and after, and every time in between that we do not know about, is for them.

They are in each other's lives, their very private lives, and as much as they sometimes let us in, 99 percent of the time, they do not. To not even get a selca, or a pic of them at the time, again unlike JM with Yoongi etc, only getting the back selfie on JKs birthday, which was loud (and after MS application deadline markedly) But that was the very marked difference to me. We knew that JM was in NY, and that JK in his live after GMA was looking to the side, we now know JM was in the hotel with him, so could have joined him, but he didn't - not then, and not after. To me, if they were just friends and bandmates' going live would not have mattered one bit (not even due to the cult/haters/solos whatever), because it whuld be no different as I say than JM going live with Yoongi after D-Day tour, visiting Hobi during his birthday live, or Joon, or them visiting each other on music shows - but JM and JK did none of that, not really. Why? Especially the lives - he could have joined JK, we knew he was in NY because he flew there, they are bandmates, we were expecting it, and we got nothing at the time. Why?

Obviously, we have a fuller picture now, one where we know about the show, we've seen it now, we are also now getting the bts content and photos from the book. We now know that JK flew back from NY, went straight home (running in the airport) to where JM was there/joined him, cooked for him, they spent the night together, and then went to Jeju the next day. JM made a point of locking at the camera when he told us this, he wanted us to know, but we only know a whole year later. It is another ‘I was with JK at 4 AM, it is giving 'I think JK is sleeping'. It's the little things, you know, sly ole JM.

We now know that despite what they have allowed us to see in filmed content, they also took moments during their travels for themselves, for their own memories just them (although I am still greedily hoping for a GCFP2. I think that is beautiful, and absolutely healthy, and it will mean more to them than we will ever know.

There's something to be said for withholding. Denying something for maximum impact. Looking back, jikook beautifully played their audience by denying us that which we most desired. The lives that were teased, the jumping into the others' welives, mentioning the other or watching their content. It was all a giant tease. All the while knowing that they would be inundating us once they'd enlisted. I don't want to assume, but this level of teasing is masterful and so playful. To withstand all that pouting Jungkook was throwing his way, Jimin, our strongest soldier. Literally. All this build up to AYS? finally being aired, and now that we've been sated, now that we're hooked, we're back to square one, back to the drought. All a beautiful counterbalance to the giant gaping maw that has manifested itself now that jikook are once again hidden behind the dark side of the moon.

If they had had a live together, if we had seen them at eo's shows ect, wouldn't we have felt that their formula had been overused?!!? Tell me honestly, would we have been salivating so readily for AYS?!

....... who am I kidding

YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!

🧍‍♀️

I just blew my own point, but I still think that we should not only see jikook as showing us they're '100% boyfriends out in the open in front of us' context. We need to remember that they are idols and artists in front of the cameras and husbands and lovers once those turn off. That part is not for us.

That they're willing to 'sell' jikook as a unit means that they know how strong they are as a unit, and that they have healthy work-life balance. I really do think so. They might flirt on camera, but they are never not performing/censoring themselves (their private selves) for the audience. It doesn't work when they have to bring it all to the front like that. That's when you start venturing into reality tv where the whole lot is scripted for show. Remember how AYS?! was kinda slow at times? Kinda nothing going on but endless moaning about delicious food? A great reality show director would have written a catching dramatic storyline that had a beginning, middle, and end. We didn't get that because I think they decided to self censor themselves ahead of time and to just be together within the guise of friends. Really close friends. And this is the act they've played for years. Whenever they are not amongst trusted friends and family, they know what they're doing, showing just enough to not arouse full-on suspicion. To me, Jimin’s comment regarding sleeping at Jungkook’s isn't played for us, to hint, but just to show a closeness between them as members.

We have more than just eyes, we have emotional depth to see behind the touches and silences. We see what we want to see because we are not homophobic enough to think they're being manipulated either way to spend time together.

The realest thing they did for cameras was enlisting together. That they did for themselves and us seeing that play out in a couple of lives (the goodbye ones) and the little goodbye during ep 8 of AYS?! was a gift. Because we could see that Jimin was in no way exited about the prospect of enlisting. He made jokes about it only to stop himself from feeling sad or anxious.

--

If you've made it past the rambling. Sorry for letting these asks pile up. I've been traveling and hadn't the time to really sit down to answer. I also need to make time to re-watch the last episode of AYS?! because I've only seen it once, shocking even myself. It's tender, and I love to feel like it's something special I'm withholding for myself for a rainy day.

I was taught well 😌

[hillmon]

I love your blinkies and seeing them on my blog always makes my day! :) Could I ask how you make them?

painstakingly and by hand 😭 each blinkie is six whoooole files (more, if i offset an icon with the blink, i did that for the natalie spooner one!)

you've caught me at a great time tho because im working on making base blinkies for all the nhl teams so i can explain the whole system... first of all

^ this is a screenshot of my font sheet! i designed every letter by hand and do not like all of them. i keep going back to edit some of them which is why it's so inconsistent over all the blinkies i've ever made (headinhands)

and this is my blinkie base. again, made by hand. technically there's two layers to this file but it doesn't matter b/c it's just the same thing with the blinkers swapped

Nyeowww let me take you through the process of making um (checks list) a blinkie for the devils! the first thing i do is design the logo. my goal for this is NOT to make it as accurate as possible, but rather make it as clear as possible. with the NY Sirens blinkie i did, it doesn't look exactly like the sirens logo, but it clearly is... which is important and very different.... usually

fortunately, the devils' logo is simple enough i don't have to worry about it. i can make it as accurate as possible :)

then i color!

so now it looks like this :) i play around with the colors a lot... there was even a version of this where i used the old dark green! this one took 4 iterations to decide on exactly what color layout.

my last step with the art is copying in the text i want and then editing the spacing on everything till i'm pleased

and then i export it twice, one file for each frame. these are files "1a" and "1b" which i stick into this website to scale up to 750x100. those become "2a" and "2b"

and then all four of those go into ezgif to become two different gifs! (gifa and gifb)

^ the final product :D!!! it's kind of a really calming thing to do. i'm a pixel artist at my core so this is like, a simple exercise for me. especially because it helps me warm up re: color agreement

[billcipher-rpblog]

Would you happen to know this one song? I forget its name, but it's a good song. Here, I'll type out the lyrics for you:

"We'll meet again

Don't know where

Don't know when

But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Keep smiling through

Just like you always do

'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello

To the folks that I know

Tell them I won't be long

They'll be happy to know

That as you saw me go

I was singing this song

We'll meet again

Don't know where

Don't know when

But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

We'll meet again

Don't know where

Don't know when

But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Keep smiling through

Just like you always do

'Til the blue skies

Drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello

To the folks that I know

Tell them it won't be long

They'll be happy to know

That as you saw me go

I was singin' this song

We'll meet again

Don't know where

Don't know when

But I know we'll meet again some sunny day."

❤️----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------🩵

It's a sweet song, isn't it? Almost kind of nostalgic in a way, huh?

I think she sang that song, maybe. I think she was scared but she sang that song hoping her little boy would hear it. I think she was scared but she didn't close her eyes, and tried not to cry. Because if she cried, her tears would obstruct her view. If she cried, she wouldn't be able to see those magnificent stars her little boy was always talking about. She wanted to see them, at least. For his sake. She wanted to see what he so desperately wanted everyone else to see. So she grabbed her husband's hand. Held it tight and intertwined their fingers as they both looked up at the stars. As she finally gave into the tears, but still looking up, looking at the stars and hoping to catch one last glimpse of her Billy as she sang him one last song.

Sad to think about, yeah? Good thing this is definitely something I made up entirely in NY head that never happened!! :D

(Hiii, Mod. This is my contribution to the Bully the Triangle Foundation™. I really enjoy following this blog and love how in character you are. It's hard to master but I think you've done it perfectly! The chaos, the false inflated ego, the aggressive outbursts, the Billford denial, the momentary gaps in his facade when you get to see the pain he feels. You capture it all so well! Good job! :] )

... WHERE.. WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THIS FROM?

(Mod: Thank you so much!! That's so nice of you :D)

[gorbalsvampire]

is it bright where you are? (vtm city meta 2/?)

In Part 1, we talked about how to choose your city. In Part 2, we're going to start populating it with SPCs!

how many vampires?

If you've been around Vampire: the Masquerade for any significant length of time, you'll have heard the 1:100,000 ratio passed around.

Discard this. Ignore this. Screw this up, do a shit on it, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over the rainbow. It's arbitrary, it's frequently contradicted, it persists in fandom largely because it's a hard number on which the brain battens and sticks, and it's got no relevance whatsoever to how many vampires YOUR city needs.

Likewise, anything from the sourcebooks that gives you any impression that you need seven Tremere before you can have a Regent, or a dozen Ventrue to fill out the bottom rung of the Board? Yeet that. Those aren't characters; they're filler. A needless strain on the night to night. They probably exist, shunted off into suburbia with cleaver families or otherwise keeping themselves to themselves, but please don't feel like you need to know their names or have statblocks for them. They do not matter. They are there for verisimilitude's sake; spackle for the brain wrinkles of tidy minds.

You'll have Player Characters. They'll need sires, and they may have a Mawla or an Adversary. In an ideal world that's where you should start: build around the things the players put on their sheets, i.e. the things they've signalled they want in the game.

We do not live in an ideal world. At the present moment in time, my brain has been sparked by an impromptu chat from one of my D&D group who's been watching LA/NY By Night and getting back into Vampire. This particular group are now considering a pivot when we're done with our current D&D adventure, and I am reconsidering the handful of ideas I had for a Manchester based story some years ago. We have a sense of what clans are cool: we're probably looking at Toreador, Tzimisce and Lasombra (which is weird) and probably Anarchs because I know what these gremlins are like, and I want to lean into Ventrue and the Anarch pillar clans (Brujah, Gangrel, Ministry) because we're gonna have to fill out the conventional sect members.

The truth is, you've probably got an idea or two about your city already. That's why, a lot of the time, I actually start with the domains.

domains and you

Most cities kind of divide themselves into domains naturally. If you know the city, you can do what I'm doing right now and go "hmm, Oxford Road would make a good seat for a Ventrue Prince with this feeding limitation and that power base... Deansgate feels more anarchy, more Brujah... if we're going to put Toreador anyway, put them in Salford, maybe a Toreador/Gangrel axis, that could be fun... Elysium in the Northern Quarter, there's places there that would be perfect... and obviously the more north you go the more Anarch things get as the money runs out..."

If you don't, here's a trick you can do. Point your web browser to snazzymaps.com. Select your preference of style (I like to use Dark and Red as filters, for obvious reasons, and "dango red" is my current favourite). Drag the view to your real-world city of choice and zoom out until you have the names of good-sized, famous districts visible. If you want a busier and more complicated city, zoom in a bit and get the smaller ones. You'll need an account to save, but nothing stops you taking screenshots...

Here are a couple of maps of Manchester: the wide zoom that includes some of the outer city, but not the real satellite towns like Sale or Altrincham, and the close in on the inner city which is where most of the action will probably be happening. I would of course crop these to hide the various UI greebles if I was using them in any sort of player facing resource, but that comes later.

That gives you your domains, which you can start populating with any SPCs you already have burning a hole in your brain. You can set markers at this stage, if you know where you want to put things, or you can do so in the later Relationship Mapping stage, or you can not bother and use a damn notebook (which, again, since I know Manchester fairly well - I lived there for two years and married a local - is probably how I'd go about things).

The old-school variation on this is acquiring an Eyewitness travel guide (the fat ones with the white covers) and using the chapters from that as domains. I like using Eyewitness because they're pretty exhaustive in terms of landmarks - gives you plenty of things you can navigate by and slip into descriptions, although it does give your game a slightly sightseer vibe.

For historical games, I like to dig up a historical map! There's not always one from exactly the right decade, but usually some from close enough that you can pinpoint landmarks around which a domain might centre and still achieve the right period vibe.

Anyway. However you've reached this point, this is where you start doing the Research, rounding out your initial enthusiasm for PCs and SPCs with historical conteeext! Vampire works really well as historical fiction in my experience - reality is deeper and gnarlier than anything you could make up and, quite often, you'll come across people and events and places that make you think "oh, this could be vampires."

I usually spend a couple of weeks on this. Just chipping away on different deep dives, different conflicts - politics, sport, universities, anything that exposes deep long term fault lines in the city's integrity, because that's where the monsters live and where their influence is felt. Once my head is creaking and my notes arranged along conflict lines... the Process can really begin.

[centaurianthropology]

Why Spenser Starke is a Fantastic Horror GM (and the Core Fantasy in Candela Obscura)

So, I have seen some rancid takes about Spenser Starke online. Less so on this webbed site, largely because people around here are not in a pissing contest to prove who’s the most cynical, superior, and dickish. But there have still been some mind-blowing ones, from “he says UM too much” (guess who else does that? Brennan, but I don’t see these people criticizing him), or “he describes scenes like shots in a movie and that’s BAD WRONG” (while you might not stylistically enjoy it, I for one adore seeing a new interpretation of how to narrate while GMing, and think he’s doing great).

But the two that rub me the wrong way most are that he “controls the narrative too tightly” and doesn’t allow the characters to meander too long before throwing them back into the narrative, and that he’s “too harsh” in that even mixed successes tend to net characters damage of some sort. I saw accusations of “GM vs Player” mentality, but everyone was clearly enjoying themselves and the experience.

And that, I think, highlights the fundamental disconnect between these complainers and what’s actually happening on the screen: they don’t understand the core experience.

They have likely never played horror TTRPGs. They may have never played TTRPGs period, and instead are armchair DMs based purely on how Matt and Brennan DM, not really understanding that there are a thousand other ways to DM. But if they have played TTRPGs, I would guess that they’ve exclusively played D&D or its ilk. And I say that because there’s a very clear belief here that empowerment and ‘winning the game’, as well as wandering about freely to create your own narrative at your own pace are all fundamental parts of the TTRPG experience as a whole. But they aren’t. They’re fundamental to D&D, yes, but this is not what players come to a game like Candela Obscura for.

Each TTRPG has a central fantasy playing out. In D&D it’s heroic empowerment. D&D is mechanically built around getting more and more power and eventually defeating the big bad. A good GM in D&D, like Matt Mercer, focuses on giving out challenges, but always helping their players strive to overcome and grow and become better. This self-actualization is at the heart of the experience.

Horror games are not about that at all. The closest to that fantasy is something like ‘Vampire the Masqerade’ or other World of Darkness games, which do feature power growth, but the core fantasy is actually about learning that you are a monster. And embracing power will lead to even greater monstrousness. The horror in games like this is both political and personal, and the system is mechanically built to accommodate that horror.

And if you watch LA by Night or NY by Night, you’ll actually see that Jason Carl employs a fairly similar narrative tightness to his storytelling as that of Spenser Starke. Because a huge part of horror is about establishing and maintaining a mood. To do that, a DM has to keep a tighter rein on pacing, cutting from scene to scene and moment to moment in a way that is more directed than in D&D, because that helps establish and maintain the vibe being created.

Candela Obscura plays, thematically, a lot like one of my favorite games to run: ‘Call of Cthulhu’. CoC is a game all about disempowerment. The power differential between the players and the monsters is vast. Combat is vicious, short, and deadly, and direct combat almost always ends badly for an investigator. There is an entire chapter devoted to running away for a reason.

Both CoC and Candela are built on danger, vulnerability, and a constant sense of tension. And Spenser is fantastic at all of these. He keeps his narrative laser focused, moving between moments rapid-fire to keep up that tension, and to introduce new dangers. He is a ‘vicious’ DM only in so much as even mixed successes hurt. But this also keeps the tension up by keeping the characters and players on the edges of their seats. They are almost never safe. They are almost never well. They are constantly juggling dwindling resources. They are underpowered, vulnerable, and afraid.

And that’s the core fantasy here: exploring fear in a safe way. Being stressed out in a way you can leave behind as soon as the scene is done. Constantly living on the edge, fighting the odds, and knowing that you likely won’t succeed or will only do so at great cost. And he is masterfully keeping that intensity running through each session.

He gives characters time to talk about themselves, time for scenes to play out, until he feels the tension begin to flag, and then he pushes on. He never lets the air go entirely out of the narrative sails. He has a great sense of when a character needs a moment (his use of the red PTSD lighting exemplifies how closely he’s paying attention to his players and adjusting the setting to fit their moods). He sometimes pushes on, gets pushback from a player who wants another beat, and is always happy to give that to them. He keeps the pace up, but is always very careful to make sure his players have what they need to still enjoy this particular experience.

All this is to say that Spenser is absolutely killing it at being an exemplary horror GM. His sense of pacing and tension, his ability to direct action while still always embracing player autonomy, and using the mechanics of the system to never allow them to feel entirely safe are all great tools in a horror GM’s toolkit.

Horror games are not for everyone. Certainly there are plenty of people who only ever want the hero fantasy of D&D, but I think it’s important to recognize what the goal of a game is, and what constitutes success within those parameters, rather than parameters that only exist in an audience member’s mind, because they don’t really get how horror games work.

[esther-dot]

Yeah I think part of the reason why the fandom is so vehemently against Jonsa is because most of the Jonsa shippers (the one who makes predictions, theorizing, analysis, etc) also support other unpopular theories such as Dark D*ny and that T*rion and the Starks will be enemies and other things that goes against the popular theories and reading kf the series.

I don't really have a solid opinion on how the story might go (besides that D*ny will never get the IT) but I think this all really shows that Jonsas in general just have a much different way of reading the series and understanding the themes and lessons GRRM put in the story than the rest of the fandom. They're the ones who GET what GRRM meant when he said he's a 'realistic romantic'. And they take GRRM's writing of punishing violence seriously and understand which characters will be the heroes in the end (hint: its not T*rion or the person who BURNED ALIVE A SLAVE IN THE FIRST BOOK)

This is why, regardless of how the story will end, I'll always support the Jonsa part of the fandom's theories, because they offer such a fresh and interesting look and insight into ASOIAF that you're not gonna get in the mainstream part of the fandom

(about this ask)

hint: its not T*rion or the person who BURNED ALIVE A SLAVE IN THE FIRST BOOK

Dany burning a rape survivor, a woman she took as a slave, alive, in calm, deliberate fashion really is a horrific scene. It says something awful about the fandom that if you conclude that’s saying something bad about Dany, you’re an outcast. I also think Dark Dany is much more obvious than King Bran which has been confirmed to be from Martin? So I truly do not understand the outrage at this point. I definitely think that's why many people hate Jonsas, but like, we didn't write that scene, we didn't make Dany use forced labor or make money from slavery, we didn't write her allowing the slaughter of teens, we didn't make her decide to conquer a continent. We're just saying it means something that Martin did!

From what I’ve seen, Tyrion was a huge favorite for book fans, Dany was far and away the most popular show character, Arya was popular with fans of both, so Sansa was just, kinda screwed by being at odds with them and for as long as I’ve been active, it’s an uphill battle for people to try to present a different reading on her. People wanted to vilify her to defend their fav and that means taking the worst perception of her rather than considering what is actually being said in her story, and Jonsas very much do take a totally different perspective on her. I find most, not all, but much of the hate comes from people who dislike her.

I'm with you though, despite what it means to be open about unpopular interpretations and theories, I prefer the Jonsa way of reading the story, our spec and fandom. I never would have gotten involved in fandom at all if it weren’t for Jonsas and their interpretations!

[fuckyeahlabynight]

Rolling Stone Article singing the praises of Critical Role, Dimension 20... and LA by Night!

Extract about World of Darkness under the cut:

One of the first major actual-play organizations to find success outside of Dungeons & Dragons is the World of Darkness, a sultry modern vampire series utilizing the ruleset of 2018’s Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition. Hosted by game designer and lead storyteller for the entire World of Darkness universe, Jason Carl, the rotating cast includes mainstays Alexander Ward, Cynthia Marie, Xander Jeanneret, and voice actor-Dimension 20 regular Erika Ishii.

By deviating from D&D mold, World of Darkness series show a different aspect of the TTRPG experience, with modern stories revolving clandestine factions or “Coteries” of conflicting machinations within the dark underbelly of real-world cities. Spread across multiple independent series, beginning with 2018’s L.A. By Night, which ran for five seasons, and now including off-shoots NY By Night and Seattle By Night, the scope of the world is diverse and ever growing.

The biggest hook that sets the series apart from other actual plays is that it’s one of the few actually supported by the game’s publisher, Paradox Interactive. The impact is that each campaign, although ultimately unscripted by nature, falls within the larger story of the Vampire: The Masquerade universe, being canonically set alongside the various multimedia extensions of the franchise, including video games, books, graphic novels, and more. Tuning into Seattle By Night live play means you’re actually watching the canon being written in real time.

Keeping track of the various properties can be more difficult than with other shows, as each of the brand’s individual series have aired on different platforms. L.A. By Night originally aired on Geek & Sundry’s YouTube channel, where past episodes can be found. NY By Night’s last two seasons can be seen on the official World of Darkness YouTube channel. Lastly, Seattle By Night aired in partnership with Penny Arcade – originally live on Twitch, now catalogue on the Penny Arcade YouTube channel.

Keep an eye out for news on future installments of the World of Darkness, or check out the time Jason Carl himself produced an exclusive one-shot live on Rolling Stone.

[gothamphantomgoat]

[autisticlee]

I have realized I need more friends, especially a specific type of friend (chill, positive, very nice and gentle, shares interest in my interests, etc) so I've been putting a lot of time and effort and energy into trying to make a new friend, but I don't think it's working D: I genuinely don't know how to do it. I used to ask people if we can be friends but learned thats not correct and even got called creepy for it before...so i'm just exhausting myself for no reason because nothing is being reciprocated the way I want or need it to be.

i'm trying to learn about the person and tailoring my scripts to match them and what they seem to like about people they are friends with. but so far i'm not getting much reaction outside of general kind acknowledgment that all random strangers get. i'm trying so hard not to ramble or rant about anything or be "too negative" like i've been called many times for simply stating a related/relatable fact about myself. i'm trying to ask questions more questions like ive been told to do. i'm saying nice and positive things whenever I get the chance like i always do. i'm doing all the things people have advised me to do when ive asked advice, but it still feels like i'm looking through a window and not allowed to walk through the door! but see everyone else getting invited inside. I genuinely don't know what to do and how to make it better 🥲

when I look back in the past and how I made friends or starter talking to people, it always came from trauma bonding....often it would start from or be carried along by a shared interest, but one of the dominating factors was always trauma bonding and ramling and ranting at each other about the trauma we have gone through that relates to each other. I felt like I needed it at the time and felt like it helped, but now i've reached a point where it's too exhausting to go through repeated exposure to trauma stories and reexperiencing ny own traumas. plus it usually ends in failure and me adding more trauma to my plate because they have issues and lash them out at me, or decide they are upset that I have my own issues they trigger, and I do not want to do that anymore.

I don't want to befriend people through or to trauma bond. I don't want to befriend people who only want to talk about negative things or people who bring out those things in me. I want some positive and chill and fun friends. but I genuinely do not know how else to make friends. I don't know how to do it right. I don't know how to talk to people correctly. I don't know how to do any of this without trauma dumping/ l listening to trauma dumping and using that as the gateway to form friendships.

I don't know how to have friends that don't share same interests either, but I have realized that's only part of it. that part is fine I think. maybe that's the normal part. (it's my autistic intensity that's the "not normal" part and losing friends as soon as one of us loses that interest) but how do I befriend someone positively off of similar interests only, and not drop my dark lore or avoid letting them drop their dark lore and using that as the bridge? I simply can't figure out how to connect with people in any other way than the whole "I understand what you're going through/you're not alone/I'm here for you/this is a safe space you can come to" thing I tried building up my whole life. but that's only been exhausting and leads to dead ends.

I don't know how to form strong and positive connections with other humans, despite following every tutorial and advice I could find. I even tried heavily masking and learned I'm just no good at it, and I can't figure out if i've acted myself out of a personality, or if it's just a dissociative disorder causing me to have like 20 different ones (working with therapist now who is evaluating me for osdd/did because she says my dissociative levels are concerning. and honestly i feel like part if not all of it is due to my negative people experiences....so i really need positive ones!) i've been trying to keep all my rambles and rants and negative thoughts and feelings to this blog only. i'm not here on this blog to make friends. this is purely for me and myself and I. if anyone relates they are welcome to reply/comment or send an ask and share, but i'm not going to pursue a friendship over it.

I only want to accept positive and chill and fun friendships over my special interests and smaller interests (I have a whole other blog for just those) BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT. NOTHING ANYONE TELLS ME WORKS. i'm trying so hard to bond over interests with people but just cannot form any connections no matter how hard I try. it remains me being the only one to ever reach out and give (time/energy/attention/etc) while they can easily have 4747373 other friends and people they enjoy and care about and talk to and hang out with. so I don't think it's them. it has to be me. (I've had people saying it's not me, it's the people I try to talk to and I need to find other people. or even "the right people" but i'm not told how to do that or what it means. and i've spent years flipping through people like clothes on a rack and it's so tiring!!!!!)

don't know know what to do or how to do it, but need human interaction and genuine strong connection and can't force self stop craving that 😭😭😭😭😭

[the-mediaeval-monk]

Hey! Thanks so much for sharing that list of monastic-themed fiction. Would you mind also sharing some good non-fiction titles on monastic masculinity? (I saw in one of your posts that it was a topic in your dissertation.) It doesn’t have to be exhaustive, just something for an introduction or maybe some titles you personally like. Thanks a lot!

Hi! Yes, here is a (non-exhaustive) list of sources :)

Primary Sources:

Clairvaux, Bernard of. The Letters of St. Bernard of Clairvaux. Translated by Bruno Scott James. London: Burns Oates, 1953.

Daniel, Walter. The Life of Aelred of Rievaulx. Translated by F. M. Powicke. Edited by Marsha Dutton. Kalamazoo, Mich.: Cistercian, 1994.

Gender and Sexuality in the Middle Ages : A Medieval Source Documents Reader, edited by Martha A. Brozyna, Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland & Co., 2005.

McNeill, John T., and Helena M. Gamer. Medieval Handbooks of Penance : A Translation of the Principal "Libri Poenitentiales" and Selections from Related Documents. New York ; Chichester: Columbia University Press, 1990.

Suso, Henry. The Life of the Servant. Translated by James M. Clark. London: James Clarke & Co Ltd., 1952.

Secondary Sources

Arnold, John H. "The Labor of Continence: Masculinity and Clerical Virginity." In Medieval Virginities, edited by Anke Bernau, Sarah Salih and Ruth Evans, 102-18. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2003.

Boswell, John. Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality : Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century. Chicago ; London: University of Chicago Press, 1980.

Bullough, Vern L. "On Being a Male in the Middle Ages." In Medieval Masculinities, edited by Clare A. Lees, Thelma Fenster and Jo Ann McNamara. Regarding Men in the Middle Ages, 31-46: University of Minnesota Press, 1994.

Bynum, Caroline Walker. "Jesus as Mother and Abbot as Mother: Some Themes in Twelfth-Century Cistercian Writing." The Harvard Theological Review 70, no. 3/4 (1977): 257-84. http://www.jstor.org/stable/1509631.

Bynum, Caroline Walker. Jesus as Mother : Studies in the Spirituality of the High Middle Ages. Publications of the Center for Medieval and Renaissance Studies, Ucla. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1982.

Bynum, Caroline Walker. "The Female Body and Religious Practice in the Later Middle Ages." Chap. 6 In Fragmentation and Redemption : Essays on Gender and the Human Body in Medieval Religion, 181-238. New York: Zone Books, 1992.

Connell, R.W. "The History of Masculinity." Chap. 14 In The Masculinity Studies Reader, edited by Rachel Adams and David Savran, 245-61. Malden, Mass. ; Oxford: Blackwell, 2002.

Coon, Lynda L. Dark Age Bodies : Gender and Monastic Practice in the Early Medieval West. The Middle Ages Series. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2011.

Damrosch, David. "9. Non Alia Sed Aliter: The Hermeneutics of Gender in Bernard of Clairvaux." In Images of Sainthood in Medieval Europe, edited by Szell Timea, 181-96. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 1991.

Doss, Jacob W. "Making Masculine Monks: Gender, Space, and the Imagined “Child” in Twelfth-Century Cistercian Identity Formation." Church History 91, no. 3 (2022): 467-91. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0009640722002098.

Elliott, Dyan. Fallen Bodies : Pollution, Sexuality, and Demonology in the Middle Ages. The Middle Ages Series. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1998.

Elliott, Dyan. The Corrupter of Boys: Sodomy, Scandal, and the Medieval Clergy. The Middle Ages Series Edited by Ruth Mazo Karras. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2020.

Gutt, Blake. "Medieval Trans Lives in Anamorphosis: Looking Back and Seeing Differently (Pregnant Men and Backward Birth)." Medieval feminist forum 55, 1 (2019): 174–206.

Hadley, D. M. "Introduction: Medieval Masculinities." In Masculinity in Medieval Europe, 1-18. London: Longman, 1999.

Hotchkiss, Valerie R. Clothes Make the Man : Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe. New York ; London: Garland, 1996.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. From Boys to Men : Formations of Masculinity in Late Medieval Europe. Philadelphia ; [Great Britain]: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. "The Regulation of “Sodomy” in the Latin East and West." Speculum 95, no. 4 (2020): 969-86. https://doi.org/10.1086/710639. https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/710639.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. "Attitudes to Same- Sex Sexual Relations in the Latin World." In A Companion to Crime and Deviance in the Middle Ages, edited by Skoda Hannah, 84-101. Amsterdam: ARC Humanities Press, 2023.

Karras, Ruth Mazo, and Katherine E. Pierpont. Sexuality in Medieval Europe : Doing Unto Others. Fourth ed. London: Routledge, 2023.

Kerr, Julie. Life in the Medieval Cloister. United Kingdom: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2009.

Kieckhefer, Richard. "14. Holiness and the Culture of Devotion: Remarks on Some Late Medieval Male Saints." In Images of Sainthood in Medieval Europe, edited by Szell Timea, 288-305. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 1991.

Kieckhefer, Richard. Forbidden Rites : A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century. University Park, PA, UNITED STATES: Pennsylvania State University Press, 1998. http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/exeter/detail.action?docID=6224672.

Kieckhefer, Richard. "Necromancy in the Clerical Underworld." Chap. 7 In Magic in the Middle Ages, 151-75. Cambridge, UK ; New York: Cambridge University Press, 2000.

Klaassen, Frank. "Learning and Masculinity in Manuscripts of Ritual Magic of the Later Middle Ages and Renaissance." The Sixteenth Century Journal 38, no. 1 (2007): 49-76. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20478245.

Klaassen, Frank. "Necromancy." In The Routledge History of Medieval Magic, edited by Sophie Page and Catherine Rider. London: Routledge, 2019.

Kolve, V. A. "Ganymede/Son of Getron: Medieval Monasticism and the Drama of Same-Sex Desire." Speculum 73, no. 4 (1998): 1014-67. https://doi.org/10.2307/2887367. http://www.jstor.org/stable/2887367.

Linkinen, Tom. Same-Sex Sexuality in Later Medieval English Culture. Amsterdam: Amsterdam University Press, 2015.

McNamara, Jo Ann. "The Herrenfrage the Restructuring of the Gender System, 1050–1150." In Medieval Masculinities, edited by Jo Ann McNamara, Clare A. Lees and Thelma Fenster. Regarding Men in the Middle Ages, 3-30: University of Minnesota Press, 1994.

Mills, Robert. "The Signification of the Tonsure." In Holiness and Masculinity in the Middle Ages, edited by P. H. Cullum and Katherine J. Lewis, 109-26. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2004.

Mills, Robert. "Transgender Time." In Seeing Sodomy in the Middle Ages University of Chicago Press, 2015.

Muir, Carolyn Diskant. "Bride or Bridegroom? Masculine Identity in Mystic Marriages." In Holiness and Masculinity in the Middle Ages, edited by P. H. Cullum and Katherine J. Lewis, 58-78. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2004.

Murray, Jacqueline. "Masculinizing Religious Life: Sexual Prowess, the Battle for Chastity, and Monastic Identity." In Holiness and Masculinity in the Middle Ages, edited by P. H. Cullum and Katherine J. Lewis, 24-42. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2004.

Murray, Jacqueline. "One Flesh, Two Sexes, Three Genders?". In Gender and Christianity in Medieval Europe, edited by Lisa M. Bitel and Felice Lifshitz. New Perspectives, 34-51: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2008.

Nelson, J.L. "Monks, Secular Men and Masculinity, C. 900." In Masculinity in Medieval Europe, edited by Dawn M. Hadley. Women and Men in History 121-42. London: Longman, 1999.

Newman, Martha G. "Real Men and Imaginary Women: Engelhard of Langheim Considers a Woman in Disguise." Speculum 78, no. 4 (2003): 1184-213. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20060926.

Rollo, David. Medieval Writings on Sex between Men: Peter Damian’s the Book of Gomorrah and Alain De Lille’s the Plaint of Nature. Brill, 22 Feb. 2022, 2022. doi:https://doi.org/10.1163/9789004507326. https://brill.com/view/title/57406.

Sauer, Michelle M. "Uncovering Difference: Encoded Homoerotic Anxiety within the Christian Eremitic Tradition in Medieval England." Journal of the History of Sexuality 19, no. 1 (2010): 133-52. http://www.jstor.org/stable/40663371.

Shopkow, Leah. "Mooning the Abbot: A Tale of Disorder, Vulgarity, Ethnicity, and Underwear in the Monastery." Chap. 9 In Prowess, Piety, and Public Order in Medieval Society: Studies in Honor of Richard W. Kaeuper, edited by Craig M. Nakashian and Daniel P. Franke, 179-98: Brill, 2017.

Thibodeaux, Jennifer D. The Manly Priest : Clerical Celibacy, Masculinity, and Reform in England and Normandy, 1066-1300. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2015.

Trokhimenko, Olga V. ""Believing That Which Cannot Be": (De)Constructing Medieval Clerical Masculinity in "Des Münches Not"." The German Quarterly 85, no. 2 (2012): 121-36. http://www.jstor.org/stable/41494744.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography. Edited by Alicia Spencer-Hall, and Blake Gutt. Netherlands: Amsterdam University Press, 2021.