#Daniel lasted half of episode one before he was down to clown

[hangonsnoopy19]

Vampires: *exist*

Daniel “Monsterfucker” Molloy:

[papermoonloveslucy]

THEY STILL LOVE LUCY

May 23, 1977

[The article below is reprinted verbatim. Photos and Footnotes have been added for editorial enhancement.]

There has already been some moaning at the bar that when Dinah Shore's blithe talk show moves to Channel 5 in July, it will be on 3:30 in the afternoon instead of 6:30 p.m. I have letters from viewers who lament "Now we'll never see it." I'm with them. It was nicely placed in the wake oi Cronkite, some easy chatter and gossip after the somber events of the day, like turning from the front page to the feature section of a newspaper. Moreover, Dinah does her interviewing very well, much less obtrusively than the assorted Mikes and Mervs of TV. She actually makes you believe she's more interested in the answer than the question.

Sometimes the answers are hard to come by. The other evening Lucille Ball was much more interested in clowning than answering serious questions about her comedy. Flanked by Jim Coburn and James Garner, Lucy was much more intent on giving a performance and it was great fun. Anyway, Lucy saves her serious answers about comedy these days for the seminar she's conducting at a professional school in Hollywood. 

I asked the great redhead the other day what she told her students "Whatever they ask me," she said. "I just answer questions. If they're not interested enough to ask questions, the hell with 'em." That's basic to Lucille Ball. In her philosophy, you push forward, you ask, you try things. She used to tell her daughter Lucie: "Don't turn things down. No matter how lowly it seems at the time, you'll find you learn from everything you do it's worth it." 

Years ago, Eddie Cantor told me that during the filming of Roman Scandals with the Goldwyn Girls, director Busby Berkeley worked out a sight gag wherein someone threw a glob of mud at Eddie who bent over at that moment and the mud sailed over him and caught some beautiful girl square in her pretty face. He asked for volunteers among the girls. All of them shrank back except one a redhead who stepped forward. "I knew," said Eddie, "that she was the one who would make it. Lucy Ball." 

Too Much Lucy? 

In case you are one of those who will miss Dinah! because you don't watch daytime TV, you may be unaware that Lucille Ball's fourth and last Lucy series. Here's Lucy, is now rerunning on CBS every morning at 9 on Channel 2. This is the six-year series in which her children grew up Lucie and Desi Arnaz Jr. with Gale Gordon as Uncle Harry. 

There are six years of those shows and even spun off daily they should be around quite awhile. Not surprisingly, they're on opposite I Love Lucy which Channel 11 shows in the mornings at 9. Lucy shrugs at the schedule. At one time, there were Lucy shows on various channels seven times during a day "That bothered me," she said. "Every time you turned on the tap. you got me. There can be too much of anything." 

To an historian of this windblown diversion, it's interesting two versions of the same basic Lucy character 20 years or so apart, still equally delighting audiences. Lucy, the character, must be the most durable creation of the television age, unsinkable, unstoppable, largely changeless. I have had the feeling at times that Lucille Ball feels Lucy rides her instead of vice versa. When she was doing Wildcat on Broadway, she said: "I thought they wanted something different, but they don't So in the show, I'm doing Lucy." 

The other day the comedienne said: "I'm having a recurrence of that In the last couple of years, I've been doing specials that were different kinds of comedy dramas than the Lucy shows. I did a couple with Carney, I did that show with Gleason trying to play my age, trying to do something they would believe and buy. Well, they didn't buy it not really. What the people seemed to want was Lucy again. Now I'm faced with doing two more specials for next season, and I thought: 'Oh. God, not that again.' Then I decided the hell with anything different I'll do a Lucy show." 

Old Friends on Hand 

She'll be back in her own arena the three-camera TV technique created for her by Desi Arnaz; Madelyn Davis and Bob Carroll Jr., who wrote most of the Lucy shows over a quarter century, are doing the script; Gale Gordon will be on hand and perhaps Mary Wickes and Mary Jane Croft but not the kids: Desi is making a Robert Altman movie in Chicago; Lucie is on the summer musical circuit. The topper the show will be directed by Marc Daniels, who directed the first season ever of I Love Lucy. They'll film it in August for a probable November showing. (1)

There are other roles Lucille Ball itches to play a legless legend of a woman who has been a patron saint of the ghetto kids of Baltimore, for one. (2) She turns down constant requests to direct. (3) She likes teaching, working with kids. There's very little comedy on television she can watch. "I keep seeing rip-offs of my writers. They're doing our old scripts. Laverne & Shirley they're doing the shows Vivian Vance and I did years ago." (4)

# # #

Cecil Smith (author) began his Times career as a reporter and feature writer in 1947 and became an entertainment writer in 1953. He was the entertainment editor and a drama critic in the 1960s, and in 1969 he became the paper's television critic and a columnist for The Times' syndicate.  Smith served as a captain in the Army Air Forces during World War II and as a pilot flew a B-24 Liberator in the South Pacific. After the war, he wrote radio plays and television scripts before getting involved in journalism.  He was related to Lucille Ball by marriage. Cecil's wife Cleo was Lucille's first cousin.  He had a cameo (with other journalists) in “Lucy Meets the Burtons” (HL S3;E1) in 1970.  He died in 2009. 

FOOTNOTES from the Future

(1) “Lucy Calls the President” aired November 21, 1977 featuring Gale Gordon, Mary WIckes, Mary Jane Croft, and although she is not mentioned in the article due to her health issues, Vivian Vance.  Desi Jr. was filming A Wedding, and Lucie was appearing as the lead in Annie Get Your Gun. 

(2) This refers to ‘Aunt’ Mary Dobkin, a little league baseball coach and children’s welfare advocate.  The role eventually went to Jean Stapleton and the film was aired on “The Hallmark Hall of Fame” in 1979.  

(3) In 1980, Lucille Ball signed with NBC, and finally gave in.  She directed a pilot for a half-hour sitcom called “Bungle Abbey,” starring Gale Gordon.  The pilot was not picked up and that was her only solo directing credit, although she had co-directed a few episodes of her series.  Many directors would say that despite who got the credit, Lucy was also directing!  In fact, that was nothing new.  

Exactly 40 years earlier, to the day, the above item appeared in Erskine Johnson’s “Behind The Make-Up” syndicated column!  

(4) It was not secret that “Laverne and Shirley” was heavily influenced by the antics of Lucy and Ethel. The show’s creator Garry Marshall was one of Lucille Ball’s writers at one time, and readily admitted how much he admired her. 

[clexa--warrior]

There’s a new group of villains on Fear The Walking Dead.

Well not entirely new. These are the same people who’ve been scrawling “The end is the beginning” everywhere. The same people with the submarine who are looking for Morgan who took the Magical Key from the bounty hunter way back at the beginning of Season 6.

I admit, I’m just kind of tired at this point. Tired of all the bullshit and bad writing and the tedious characters and the predictable stories. Tired of the parade of mediocre villains. Bone weary. And yet here I am, still reviewing this damn show.

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane, shall we?

TV’s Greatest Villains

At the beginning of Season 5, after the Most Horrible Villain Of Any Walking Dead Show was taken care of at long last, we got a new group of bad guys who . . . just wanted their warehouse back? And directions to an oil refinery?

Truly, these were now The Most Horrible Villains Of Any Walking Dead Show Ever.

Logan (played by a woefully underutilized Matt Frewer) was the head honcho of these bad apples and he fooled Morgan’s group into flying a plane they didn’t know how to fly far, far away to help some strangers in another part of the vast continent of Texas. Then he . . . moved back into his warehouse! The bastard.

After half a season of trying to fix the plane so they could fly back across the Pacific Ocean (which we all know separates the two halves of Texas) Logan tries to pretend like he’s a decent guy and fools the Morganites into showing him where the oil refinery is. Dastardly Logan! Then, just when Morgan and Logan decide that their names are similar enough that they might as well be friends, the Rangers show up!

They show up on horses with rifles and expertly kill Logan and every single member of his crew but for reasons (reasons!) they spare Morgan and the Morganites. It turns out that Logan was working for the evil witch queen of Lawton, Virginia—Truly The Most Horrible Villain Of Any Walking Dead Show Ever (Seriously). She is so evil that she kills the people working for her, who helped lead her to the oil refinery, and spared some people she didn’t know who weren’t loyal to her at all for reasons.

Yes, you heard me. Reasons! You don’t get to know the reasons. That’s not how scripts work. Scripts are supposed to be confusing, opaque and riddled with plot holes and inexplicable character choices.

Anyways, Virginia and the Rangers with their horses and their cowboy hats and their idyllic Texas aesthetic become the new Big Bads sometime in the second half of Season 5. Morgan and Friends make a PSA documentary to make sure anyone wandering from gas station to gas station is able to know who to call (GHOSTBUSTERS!) if they’re in trouble (which, like, yeah it’s a zombie apocalypse) because Morgan really wants to make up for all the bad things he’s done and so do all his friends.

Virginia is very mean, though, and so she makes a PSA, too, and that pisses Morgan off so bad that he takes his people far, far away to an abandoned Western-themed park-town filled with zombies and they make another PSA on the way that’s even more amazing and magical but a dude dies making it, marking the Best Walking Dead Death of All Time in the process. Seriously a dude decides it’s so important to film a selfie shot for the PSA that he dies when a bridge that’s collapsing surprisingly collapses! And then everyone is very sad!

Then, uh, after a spell at the new town that has no resources or water because it’s a theme park town instead of a real town, Wes and Alicia paint some stuff and June and John Dorie get married and Daniel plays some guitar and sings and Frank Dillane is like “Holy shit I’m so glad I bailed on this show” and then Virginia comes because Morgan calls her because instead of walking somewhere else they decide they should call the Evil Witch Queen Of Lawton so she can rescue them by splitting them all up (even Skidmark the cat!) and then the season ends with Morgan getting swarmed by zombies but don’t worry he’s still alive and they’ll tell us as much in a trailer that comes out before Season 6 because AMC is criminally addicted to spoiling their own shows for no reason on social media and . . . and . . .

Somewhere between Season 5’s finale and Season 6’s premiere AMC and showrunners Ian Goldberg and Andrew Chambliss must have put their heads together with Scott Gimple and decided that the Rangers and Virginia were actually super dull villains, just like the last few villains (I skipped the whole Vultures plot because they were actually so stupid they put the stadium under siege but still let Madison and co. go out scavenging because somehow they never read the Siege 101 manual or something).

Anyways, for reasons that must be obvious by now, somebody must have pointed out that Virginia is not a very good villain after all, partly because she’s just not that convincing but mostly because she made a goddamn copycat PSA and someone thought that was actually a cool story because there is no God and life’s not fair and this is also why we can’t have nice things, son.

And they must have realized that the Rangers are a like a cartoon version of what might happen in Texas after a zombie outbreak (just compare this clown show to the far more realistic Vatos gang from Season 1 of The Walking Dead). All these realizations must have felt strangely repetitive after what I can only imagine were similar revelations about Martha, the Vultures and Logan. So many revelations, so little useful insight or meaningful changes!

The Believers

In any case, they had June kill Virginia after a weird series of events that also saw one of the only good characters left on this godforsaken show get killed by yet another brat, and came up with The Believers, a group almost entirely inspired by The Monkees. These totally realistic folk live underground where they grow crops and embalm zombies and talk about how you need to be able to “see” when you look at this one creepy zombie they have entwined in vines in their basement. They’re led by a guy named Teddy played by John Glover who must really be down on his luck to take a role on this ridiculous show, though he’s actually creepy as a villain so that’s something. But no, I’m not going to feel any hope or optimism because fool me once shame on me, fool me again and George W. Bush, man. He has something to say about this.

Wes and Alicia and Al and Luciana all find their way to these people. I honestly can’t remember how they found them, but they show up to scout things out. They get interviewed like we’re back in Alexandria. Things go bad when Wes runs into his long-lost brother and ends up killing him after a scuffle over a gun. Wes’s brother has had a little too much of that Kool-Aid if you know what I mean. Wes isn’t too shook up about it. Remember when the entire brothers Dixon conflict between Merle and Daryl played out over the course of one single episode of The Walking Dead? Yeah, me neither.

Luciana says stuff because she’s still on this show for some reason. She says stuff a few times and people say stuff back to her. Al checks an embalmed zombie with a helmet on thinking it might be her lover girl from Season 5, because you totally embalm zombies with their helmets still on, but it’s not. Boy I was really worried there for a second!

Alicia sets the embalmed zombies on fire so they can get away and the others escape but Alicia doesn’t and then she has to have a whole entire conversation with Teddy and it’s pretty damn awkward when she tells him “You wanna kill me? That’s not gonna happen.”

Teddy’s like “whoa damn I was going to kill you but now that’s not going to happen crap” and Alicia’s like “So there, Teddy. You jerk face with your crazy-man beard.”

He knows something about Madison somehow. And he wants to “save you, Alicia” but “I don’t need saving” she tells him and then he talks in more cryptic circles. Teddy’s been looking for someone like Alicia for a long, long time and she’s like “listen old man at least I got some lines this episode!” which, to be fair, is true.

THE END. CREDITS ROLL.

Verdict

Yes, I am clearly mocking just about everything about this show. But I didn’t come up with this crap. I didn’t come up with Martha and the ethanol, or the plane and the beer-balloon, or Totally Pointless Logan, or Ginny and her boring ass cowboys. Maybe Teddy will be a better villain than all these. To be fair, he is a better villain already in a lot of ways. Then again, the bar set by the Vultures, Martha, Logan and Virginia is not very high. It’s so low, it’s less a bar and more of a speed bump.

So while Teddy is far more intriguing than the rest, and it’s even possible that Glover’s brief appearance here in this episode was better than the sum of all the other villains in this show since Season 4, I imagine they’ll find a way to screw him up also and then, as soon as he’s worn out his welcome, replace him with some other group of bad guys. The Shouters, a group of post-apocalyptic crazy people who wear zombie faces and shout at each other really loud, led by a bald woman named Alphapha.

Here’s the thing.

We need more than just Good Guys vs Bad Guys. There are other struggles to work with in fiction. Friction between the group that causes realistic, compelling internal strife. Survival against the elements and just the struggle of surviving in a world laid low by a pandemic, maybe without creature comforts like walkie-goddamn-talkies. Or perhaps a compelling story about a survivalist group at odds with a Native American tribe over water rights, whose intertwined family histories are marred by murder and revenge, where our heroes find themselves torn between both sides of a bloody fight they know very little about.

Yeah, what a notion.

Like I said at the very top of this review, I’m tired. I’m tired of Fear The Walking Dead. I’m tired of the same crap happening over and over again, another absurd bad guys who ultimately make the same fatal choice: They mess with Morgan Jones. NOBODY messes with Morgan Jones.

Maybe Morgan can make a PSA about how mean and delusional Teddy is and then Teddy can make a PSA about how The End Is The Beginning, Actually, Morgan You Twit. It’s just all nonsense at this point and it has been since the end of Season 3. We aren’t dealing with actual stories about real people. We’re watching a cartoon with two-dimensional cartoon villains and a bunch of uninteresting flat characters. Except a cartoon would be more fun.

What is the point of this show now? It’s like a goofier version of The Walking Dead, which also suffers from too many villain groups at this point and too many characters but not this level of crappy writing (usually).

Let me predict the plot for the remainder of Season 6 and likely part of Season 7 if AMC is actually going to let the current showrunners continue driving this show into the ground:

Teddy wants the key from Morgan so he can use it to activate the nuclear bombs on the nuclear sub that’s in the middle of Texas (because Texas, you recall, is separated by the Pacific Ocean which has dried up because ZOMBIES and the sub is there now). He wants to nuke the planet because he wants to save everyone because they’re weak probably. From this nuclear wasteland, new life will spring eternal and his cult—well protected in their underground parking garage with their cute little gardens—will be the new rulers of the world. Or at least of Texas which—we know because of geography class—accounts for approximately 57% of Earth’s land mass.

Look, I’m sorry. I’m really truly sorry but if this show continues to be a joke I don’t know why we should take it seriously. A mocking review if only fitting for a show that continues to make a mockery of itself. AMC has the resources and the wherewithal to produce a better zombie show and quite frankly audiences deserve one. There was nothing fundamentally awful about “The Holding” so I’m honestly not fully sure why I’m in such a snarky mind frame, but there was nothing very good about, either, and it’s just plain as day to me that they’re already falling into the same traps they keep falling into over and over and over again. Meet the new bad guy, same as the old bad guy. It’s all so predictable.

Because they don’t really learn from their mistakes, or because even if they do they just don’t know how to course correct. That’s the problem when you just don’t have much talent but nobody steps in and says “enough is enough!”

Because seriously, my droogies, enough is enough already.

[nocturna-starr]

The Happiest of Birthdays

Prompt: Someone takes Dani to Build a Bear

Prompter: @currentlylurking

Length: 3097

Warnings: None

Today was one of the days Danielle regretted ever being adopted by wealthy parents. Her parents were gone, once again, on another business trip. Usually, that would mean she could travel anywhere in the city she desired, but her parents had increased the bodyguards watching her. The ghost girl couldn’t give the slip to ten bodyguards! She was stuck in the mansion.

It was her birthday, though no one knew. Danielle had claimed she didn’t know the day she was born to hide from Vlad. They were definitely not on talking terms and Danielle was doing everything in her power to avoid him. When she was adopted, her parents decided that her adoption day would be her new birthday.

She couldn’t blame them for missing her birthday. If she called phoned them now, they would be on the next flight home. Danielle couldn’t do that to them; they had spent years trying to get this contract. She would never forgive herself if the company lost a once in a lifetime opportunity because of her.

That was why she chose to spend the day locked in her bedroom and away from prying eyes. She didn’t have to wear anything elegant to impress anyone. She could put on her own sweater and red beanie. Her hair was allowed to be in a ponytail. Danielle could be her old self for a day.

Her old lonely self…

At first, Danielle had tried to occupy herself with the television. You could only watch so many episodes of The Waltons before one became bored to tears. Video games never interested her as much as they did Danny. The only thing left to do was a doodle, and she just didn’t feel inspired.

“May I come in Miss Danielle?” Casey asked, gently knocking on the door.

Danielle cringed. Casey was one of the only people in the household staff that wasn’t afraid to reprimand her for manners. She had already been the victim of a lecture in table manners earlier that morning. If Casey saw her now, the older woman would very well have an aneurism

“I’m sorry Casey but I am in the middle of something important. May you come back at another time?” Danielle hated how small she sounded.

“Very well Miss. Perhaps you could check under your bed for any misplace objects? It would make tidying the room easier.” Casey was also the only person who would order Danielle to do any cleaning up. The girl had tried resisting once, but after the hot sauce event, she just did what the woman wanted.

Danielle sighed but got off her bed then went on her hands and knees. She pulled out dirty clothes and a few books that had made their way down there. Then she noticed an old cardboard box. Originally, Danielle hid it underneath the bed to hide her freakiness from her new parents. She had forgotten she put it down there!

With a little effort, Danielle pulled the box out from beneath. It was heavier than she remembered. Perhaps she was too far out of practice. Delicately, Danielle unfolded the top. Part of her was curious to see what she deemed so important to hold onto from her old life.

The first thing she saw was her Fenton Thermos. The thing seemed to be operational if the full light was still working. Oops. She pulled out her old journal. Flipping through the pages reminded her about how much her handwriting had improved. She smiled when she spotted her favourite old t-shirt. How could she have forgotten it? It was the first gift she had ever received for her birthday…

“Happy Birthday to You!” Phantom and the Red Huntress sang as Phantom presented her with a birthday cake. Danielle beamed at her closest friends.

The three were currently sitting on a picnic bench in Amity Park’s only park. Their only company were the stars above them. Only Dani was in her civilian form. From what she understood, Danny and Valerie were in a tentative truce, neither was comfortable with the other. Still, the clone was touched that they would put their rivalry aside for her.

Both her closest friends stared at her. Dani looked back confused. What did they want her to do? She wasn’t going to grab a piece, there were flaming candles on that cake! The trio stood for a moment before Phantom was hit with a revelation.

“Make a wish,” He told her, green eyes twinkling, “Then blow out the candles!”

Blow out the candles? Wasn’t that unsanitary? Who knew what diseases she could accidentally give to Phantom or the Red Huntress! Still, a tradition was tradition… She closed her eyes and silently thanked the stars for friends like Danny and Valerie. She took a deep breath and blew out all the candles.

“What did you wish for?” the Red Huntress said. Danielle could almost hear the grin in her voice.

“Valerie! Don’t you know it’s against the rules for the Birthday Girl to tell her what she wished! Then it won’t come true!” Danny childishly reprimanded. The three sat in stunned silence, before bursting out laughing.

“You sounded like a four-year-old!” the Red Huntress giggled.

Danny only grinned in response. Dani had never seen her cousin like this before. It was awesome to see him so free and know he was a superhero. She thanked her lucky stars that she managed to live that long.

“In my family,” Valerie began, “It’s tradition to open one gift before cake.” She presented a prettily wrapped box. Phantom pulled out a gift bag from beneath the table. Both looked at her expectantly. They wanted her to choose?

Dani reached for the gift from Phantom. The Red Huntress nodded as if she expected her decision. Carefully, Dani took out all the blue tissue paper. Hidden among the flimsy paper was a t-shirt. It was gray, with the NASA logo on it.

“I heard you liked space.” Danny winked.

She tackled him in a hug, “THANK YOU SO MUCH!”

She always felt a little guilty for liking the exact same things as Danny. She often wondered if he resented her for not finding her own path. The shirt was a reassurance that he was not angry with her, rather he was encouraging her. It meant more than anyone would ever know.

“As sweet as this is, I think it’s time to cut the cake!” Valerie called.

Part of her felt guilty for forgetting Danny’s gift. She still wore one of the various necklaces Valerie gave her. She took off the sweater and put on the NASA t-shirt. It still fit her like a glove. The next time she went to Amity Park she would wear it.

Danielle turned back to see the rest of the contents in the box. She still had the credit card that she stole from Vlad. Did he even realize he was missing it? Danielle highly doubted that the billionaire noticed the few hundred taken every once in a while. Without a second thought, Danielle snapped it in half. Her collection of random Pokémon cards was haphazardly thrown in there. Then Danielle’s eyes caught on a photograph from her fourteenth birthday…

Danny, Dani and Valerie were standing in line for the biggest roller coaster in the entire state of Illinois, ‘The Raging Bull’. She was practically jumping up and down with excitement, and Valerie was keeping herself just as calm. Danny, on the other hand, was looking almost as pale as his hair.

Valerie noticed this and took it as an opportunity to tease the ‘Great Danny Phantom’. “What’s wrong? The hero of Amity Park afraid of heights?”

“I don’t like roller coasters,” Phantom replied, not taking the bait.

Dani barely paid attention to them. It was almost their turn! She could feel her heart flutter in anticipation. Valerie said that going on a roller coaster was just like flying but with no control. The phrasing intrigued Dani, so she begged to go to an amusement park for her birthday. Valerie was willing to grant the wish and guilt a reluctant Phantom to come along.

“Maybe I should get out of line. I don’t think I want to do this.” Phantom decided. Valerie was having none of it.

“Chicken. Look, even Danielle is excited. You’re a ghost! There is nothing you should be afraid of!” Valerie whispered the last part so that only the trio could hear.

“I don’t like roller coasters.” Danny reiterated. He tried to leave the line but the huntress grabbed his arm, “Please Val…”

“It’s our turn!” the birthday girl shrieked. The line pushed them towards the ride. Danny was practically shaking yet couldn’t phase out of Valerie’s grasp without getting some unwanted attention. He tried to convince the girls to sit in the middle, but they dragged him to the front.

“The only way to get the full experience is to sit in the front.” The older girl’s smirk was a bit too malicious. Dani didn’t care. She was finally going on the ride!

The ride was almost everything she hoped for, if only it were a little faster. Valerie was totally right; it was just like flying! She threw her hands up in the air and screamed. She was pretty sure her cuz was screaming profanities beside her. Good thing the screaming was loud enough that the kids behind didn’t hear him.

The ride was over way too quickly. With wobbly legs, she got out of her seat. Danny had to be helped out. She watched Valerie guide Danny to a nearby trash can. Maybe it was a bad idea to pressure him on the ride after all.

She looked away and tried to ignore the sounds of the boy trying to calm his stomach. She noticed a group of people around a kiosk. She wandered over there to see what they were selling.

“Do you want to buy a picture kid?” The guy in the kiosk asked.

“We’ll take three!” Valerie answered behind her.

A while later, Danny had been able to laugh about the event. When his friends found out, they refused to let him live it down. The picture hung proudly in his room, the last time she was there. Valerie was rather fond of the one piece of evidence that Phantom had a weakness.

She tried to figure out why Danny hated that ride. He didn’t seem to have any fear of the other rides. The only answer she got from Danny was “Clowns and Jell-O”. When she asked Sam and Tucker, they told her that it was a really complicated story.

The box still had other treasures she had not yet unearthed. She pulled out a bunch of keys she had put in there. What they were for, she had forgotten. Maybe her diary could remind her? An old bar of chocolate from Dubai was surprisingly intact. Seeing the chocolate made her long to go travelling again. She wondered if chocolate ever went bad…

At the very bottom of the box was a gift for her most birthday a year ago. Its blue button eyes looked up at her. Danielle pulled out the teddy bear she had gotten from Danny and Val.

“Shopping Spree!” Valerie cheered, “With a chauffeur to carry our bags for us! Are you excited or what?”

“Haha. You know I’m just as much a part of this as you.” Danny retorted. For the first time, he and Valerie were in civilian clothes together.

A few months ago, they told each other the truth. Danielle needed to mediate between the two for a while before they calmed down. They were at the point of calming down. It was awesome to finally not have to be careful what she said to her cuz.

“You and I both know that if you had it your way, we would spend all day at the arcade.” The older girl rolled her eyes.

“I think you have me confused with Tucker again.” The teen sighed, “Where do you want to go first, Dani?”

The pressure was all on her. She needed to find a place that both Danny and Valerie would be able to tolerate. She was curious to try the hair and nail salon. Danny wouldn’t enjoy the pampering. The comics shop looked awesome as well. Valerie didn’t seem to be interested in comics. She had no interest in going to the gloomy occult store. Finally, she spotted a store that she hoped everyone could agree on.

“Let’s go there!” She pointed at the brightly coloured store.

She gained two different reactions. Danny was unphased in the slightest, almost excited. Valerie gawked at her, then shook her head. The huntress headed towards Build-a-Bear with the two ghosts following behind her.

It was no surprise that the store was filled with little kids and their parents. The trio earned suspicious glares from some of the parents. Danny sweetly waved at them. He had been treated worse by those very same people before. It must have been downright friendly by now.

She followed her friends to the area filled with unstuffed animals. Her eyes widened. There were so many to choose from! Did she want a cat or a dog, a dragon or a pony? She spotted a plain white bear. Perfect.

Danny had chosen a sky-blue bear. Valerie got one of the black dragons. Once they were finished choosing, they headed over to the stuffing station.

The three friends joined a crowd of kids and their parents. Each of them was given a red heart and instructions not to lose it. Danny was also snuck a scrap of paper with a number on it.

“Okay, we need to wake up the heart. First jump on one foot.” The lady in charge of the area began.

Each step, Danny and Dani followed almost religiously. Valerie was more halfhearted. The instructions became more and more bizarre as they continued. Why did they need to rub their stomachs and stand on one foot? Some of the kids joined Valerie in barely trying. Seeing that she was losing her audience, the staff member decided to end the waking ritual.

“All bears require a wish for them to be brought to life. What do you want most?” the woman’s whisper was barely audible. She was trying way too hard to make it suspenseful.

“I with for ma tof ta grow bac” A little boy said sadly. The children around him snickered.

“I wanna be a pilot!” A girl yelled beside Dani.

“I wish that I could be as cool as Danny Phantom!”

I wanna be a ghostbuster too!”

“I want a pony, but mommy always says no!”

“I have to pee”

“I hope that my friend will go on a date with me!” Danny said just as cheerfully. The glares from before paled to the ones Danny was getting now. Even the lady with the instructions looked mad. Valerie subtly kicked him.

“EWWW!” one of the kids whined.

“You’ll like it when you’re my age.” Danny retorted, “Great. I sound like my dad!”

“I wish for more happy birthdays,” Dani said, hoping to ease the building tension. A few parents nodded, happy to get the attention off of Danny.

Once everyone had finished, they stood quietly in line while the poor worker focused on stuffing each individual bear.

“Hug it. Now is it perfectly stuffed for you?” She asked Dani.

Dani smiled, “Yep.”

“Give me the heart I gave you so, I can finish sewing your friend together.”

Dani watched her finish at lightning speeds. She must have been working there for months, if not years. She looked older than Danny and Valerie, and they were almost eighteen. It made it all the weirder that she gave Danny her number.

“Head over to the clothing section over there to get your bear some clothes. Then head over to the naming station.” The woman instructed. “Hey, cutie!”

Dani started to head over. She turned around to see a clearly uncomfortable Danny trying to avoid conversation. Served him right for bugging the kids! Valerie seemed to agree. She looked like the cat who caught the canary.

There were so many clothes for the bears, it was actually kind of weird. The price tags were just as confusing.  Some of these things cost just as much as the darn bear! She ended stuck between a pink dress and a blue dress. Danny and Valerie joined her.

“The pink one is more in style,” Valerie told her.

“But the pink one is more expensive. I’m afraid I’ll lose it while travelling.” Dani explained

“Then get this! It’s always in style!” Danny sang.

The girls looked to see Danny holding up a white t-shirt with a strawberry in the center. Above it was the phrase “Berry Best” in cursive. Dani giggled at the pun while Valerie looked unimpressed.  Unfortunately, his outburst had attracted a lot of kids.

“I want one!”

“Mr. Date, can you get me one?”

“Mommy! The man won’t let me have that!”

Neither of the trio ended up buying any clothing for the stuffed animals.

The naming station was the most uneventful part of the trip. Danielle secretly named her bear “Snowball”. Neither Danny nor Valerie would tell the names if their new “furry friends”. After paying for the bears, the three exited with their dignity barely staying intact.

“So, where do you want to go next?” Valerie asked.

Dani thought for a moment. They HAD done something everyone would like or at least be the same amount of embarrassed… “Why don’t we go to the salon?”

The only boy in the group frowned in resignation. “I guess you guys can go ahead. I’ll meet you in an hour?”

“I don’t think so, ghost boy. You’re coming with us!” Valerie laughed.

Danny paled.

Danielle started to put the things she pulled out, back where they had been kept. The only exceptions were the t-shirt, picture and the teddy bear. Those she decided would have a permanent spot in her room. She briefly wondered if Danny and Valerie had expected her to show up. They were in college now and knew she had been adopted.

A knock drew her out of her thoughts. She opened the door and saw no one was there except her guards. They gave her quizzical looks. She gave a small awkward wave and shut the door. That was really embarrassing…

She turned to see the two heroes of Amity Park waving at her from the window. She brightened.

[newagesispage]

                                                          FEBRUARY           2019

 PAGE  RIB

***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??

***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.

***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples .  Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.

***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!

***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??

***** Julian Castro is running for President.

***** Kamala Harris is running for President.

***** Cory Booker is running for President.

***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.

***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.

***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’

***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?

***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.

***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!

***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.

***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.

***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert.  It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.

***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.

***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.

***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.

***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!

***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.

***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.

***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.

***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.

***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?

***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols

***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??

***** Dupont is laying off workers.

***** Check out love your brain.com.

***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book.  The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product.  Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.

***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.

***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.

***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design.  Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.

***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.

***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??

***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.

***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.

***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.

***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.

***** What is happening to the butterflies?

***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??

***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.

*****  NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.

***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.

***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!

***** Happy Valentine’s Day!

***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.

***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.

***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.

***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.

***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.

***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!

***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.

***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’  She could well be President so fight girl!!

***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.

***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built.  They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that??  It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?

***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion

***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.

***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??

***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!!  He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher

***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.

***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.

***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck.  The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.

***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.

***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.

***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.

***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’

***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.

***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??

***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good?  We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic.  Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!

***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.

***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.

***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.

***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr

*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.

[fantasysuiteleague]

Week 2: XOXO, Gossip Girl

With so many dumb girls milling around the Bachelor mansion, still drunk from the night before and starving for carbs and attention, I'm sure it's difficult to not make the first few episodes of the show feel over-produced. Jk. We're in Season 21 and Nick is our Bachelor: everything is over-produced. That being said, this week felt particularly cringe-worthy. We kick things off with our sleep-deprived divas trying to convince us that the only thing they've been able to think about since arriving 12 hours ago is Nick. Not their phones, their families, their jobs, the presidential election. Only NICK VIALL. Right.

Enter Chris Harrison, who reminds the women that they only way they're going to stand out with this many girls in the house is to be memorable slutty. This piece of unsolicited and sexist advice triggers Manchurian Candidate Corinne, and it's all downhill from here.

Something Old. Something New. Something Topless. Something Rude.

The first group date of the episode is ultimate Bachelor irony. Actually, it feels like a storyline cooked up by Quinn and Rachel on UnREAL. The girls gleefully drive three Buick convertibles down the street to a mansion usually used to shoot adult films. Once parked, they're made to jog into the backyard where they meet up with a heavily spray-tanned man named Franco who is almost definitely an actor and/or one of the producer's friends. There, the producers dangle the possibility of marriage in front of them while simultaneously cheapening the entire experience. What's more? They've all been drinking since they arrived, and have to watch each other pose and make out with Nick. This is Bachelor 101. An incredibly basic premise that is guaranteed to spawn all sorts of jealousy, desperation, and insecurity.

The pawn at the center of this whole *experiment* is none other than that girl you wished you hadn't started a conversation with at a party: Corinne. To absolutely no one's surprise, this bitch has never been a bridesmaid. But keep in mind she's 24 and probably only hangs out with older club promoters, so this warrants no more than an eyeroll. Photog Franco, who is probably shooting a porn after this group date, *coincidentally* makes Corinne a bikini bride, and like the Manchurian Candidate that she is, all she can talk about is how sexy she looks and how it makes sense that she would be the nearly naked bride. Enter Brittany (who?), who is actually topless and actually looks very pretty. Corinne is, of course, very uncomfortable because she was programmed to be the star.

And A STAR SHE WILL BE. Left with no other options, Corinne takes her top off and *forces* Nick to hold her boobs in front of the other girls. It's pretty obvious that they made Corinne go last so everyone would be drunk enough to get pissed, and it works. Adding insult to injury, Franco picks Corinne as the "winner" of the group date, because, as she puts it, she was actually daring enough to have clothes and then take them off. Later that night Corinne continues to "project her sexuality" on Nick, stealing him first and immediately going in for the make out. Hilariously, Nick says that he's been "really impressed with Corinne so far." Yeah, having absolutely no shame is truly impressive. And she continues to impress me by interrupting other girls not once, but twice after her original make out session.

Now naturally this pisses everyone off, but NO ONE says or DOES anything about it! Ladies, I hate to repeat Corinne's advice here, but like, fucking go interrupt her and take your time. You came here "for Nick" or at least to be on TV, so fucking take what is yours! But they won't, because they're all fucking idiots. This is underscored by the repeated in-camera interviews were girls like Taylor try to convince themselves that Corinne "isn't what Nick wants" and that Nick is "better than Corinne." Taylor: get a clue. Or a job. Or watch a single episode of Andi or Kaitlyn's season. Or just like, go to a bar in River North. Then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't sit here thinking that a guy like Nick isn't going to go for a girl like Corinne. Because he is. And sure enough, he proves it by giving Corinne the group date rose.

In between flashes of Corinne we see Raven getting some quality time in with Nick, but is any time with Nick actually quality time? For example, Raven let's Nick know she was cheated on before, and Nick's response was to direct the conversation to him and talk about how he's been cheated on. Everything he says feels so disingenuous, but that's because he always finds a way to make things about himself. So if we're being real, him and Corinne are actually perfect for each other. But we're not being real, because this is reality TV. There was, however, a perfect moment of reality TV after Taylor re-interrupts Corinne and Corinne confronts her. Corinne is pissed because "that's not the way to go about things." The way to go about things is to be "classy" [take your top off] and not direct your disrespect "towards any one person" ... just the entire group. Taylor handles the confusing assault incredibly well. Then again, anyone with an IQ over 70 shouldn't have much difficulty defending themselves against a drunk clown. Corinne quickly forgets about Taylor, gushing with pride for herself for stepping out of her comfort zone "in many different times and angles."

Playa Say What?

The second half of the episode was dedicated to the history between Liz and Nick. I can't decide if Liz is this dumb, or just starving for Instagram fame. On the one hand, I can see how a producer could convince her that Nick would love to see her again, they already have an established connection, and she'll probably go far. On the other hand, she seems pretty dumb. Sitting around the mansion all day with nothing to do but drink, tan, and get in her own head, Liz confides in Gretchen Wieners that she is Jade's best friend, didn't memorize her maid of honor speech at the wedding, and also slept with Nick. She emphasizes how wasted she was when it happened, and also how awkward it was. "Like, super awkward."

She mentions intermittent sex and talking, which is something we've heard before. This all but confirms my suspicion that Nick is actually terrible in bed. That's why it didn't work out with Andi. And sure, he fucked Kaitlyn and still made it to the final two, but that sneaky fuck sesh probably didn't give him tons of time to talk while inside of her.

The Nice Girl 

It's pretty easy to forget that Nick went on a 1-on-1 date this episode, but there's a reason for that. Danielle M. doesn't make good TV because she's not terrible like the rest of the girls. She seems like a very sweet girl and has a real job. Does she pack a lot of personality? No. But not everyone can be Alexis or Corinne or the Genie from Aladdin. There can't be complex hoes without basic bitches, and Danielle M. is that nice basic bitch. She'll stick around awhile because she's probably one of the only "real" women who, despite being pretty bland, is one of the only realistic choices in terms of actual marriage and not just Hollywood Instagram-fame. This is probably why she gets the first 1-on-1 date. She's got the hometown Wisconsin vibe and they need to get her tragedy out and on camera because she's going to fade to the back for the next 7 weeks before ultimately getting cut. During dinner, Nick goes on and on about himself and being on the Bachelorette twice and heartbreak, and Danielle M. just keeps nodding, looking bored. This whole Bachelorette story sounds like Hillary repeatedly listing her years of accomplishments during the debates while contrasting Donald's years of housing discrimination and golden showers. We get it. You get it. You're here. We're listening. Can we please talk about something else? Anything.

We Need to Talk . . .

The theme of this date -- breakups -- is comically opposite to the first in every way. The first stop is the "Museum of Broken Relationships,"  which cannot possibly be a thing that existed prior to the filming of this episode. This "museum" houses an uncomfortable amount of random shit that people have "left behind" from their broken relationships. Umm, what? Left behind from where? No one can convince me that people come to museums to break up, or that they send objects from their failed relationships to be put on display for other weirdoes to look at. First of all, where are all the dildos? Second, USPS is incredibly unreliable. Sure enough, at least one loser has donated to this museum: Nick. After a rehearsed speech about himself and how Andi and Kaitlyn led him to be the Bachelor, the women are given the task of preparing breakup monologues for Nick. Everything is funny and light-hearted, especially when loose cannon Josephine smacks Nick across the face. Until, that is, it's Liz's turn. Upset and insecure, she pulls out a NOTEPAD to start her breakup. Immediately, Nick diverts his eyes like the pussy that he is.

But he knows what's coming. And it's AWFUL. More cringe worthy than Corinne's nipples, Liz goes on and on--in detail--about meeting him in a hallway, at a wedding, and essentially blames him for not chasing after her, even though she wasn't ready to let him in. Or at least, in farther than just the tip. The audience is silent and all of the girls but Gretchen Wieners look confused. Gretchen tries to play it cool and pretend that she has no idea what's going on,

but it's not very convincing. Liz's breakup is followed by more awkward silence and her finally saying "okay we can be done." Thank fucking god. For some reason, after this, NOT A SINGLE GIRL asks what the fuck that was all about. They mention it was detailed and weird and awkward, but don't say anything to Liz or Nick. Literally no girl, after hearing the hallway comment, and the wedding comment, was like -- umm, I have a few follow up questions? Nick spends the rest of the date stressing out about Liz, but it's pretty easy to see through his feigned concern for the other women. In a voiceover he tries to sell that he's concerned because he doesn't want the girls to think he's been lying to them (which he has), but in reality, he's concerned about what she actually said and how much of "her side" has been leaked. So while Jaimi reveals she's dated girls, and Kristina talks about growing up in a country that may or may not be controlling the United States, all Nick can think about is who knows what. It's smarmy and pathetic and incredible on brand. Finally, Gretchen Wieners spills the beans to him and he's able to tell his side of the story. At this point, he knows he has to get rid of Liz before she tells more people about how terrible he is in bed, so pulls her away for 1-on-1 time. They're gone for a long time which eventually leads the girls to wonder what's going on between them after her awkward-ass breakup speech. Gretchen Wieners refuses to rat Liz out,

but making it pretty clear there's something going on. And sure enough, it is. Nick confronts Liz with the whole "right reasons" question, and Liz's answer is just awful. She didn't ask for his number because she didn't know him. But then didn't want to ask for it and give him the wrong impression because she knew he was in Paradise. And even though he was only in Paradise for a month, she knew he had "other things" going on and just wasn't the type of person who liked to talk on the phone. We don't need Nick to point out to us that the more she talks, the less sense she makes, but it's the nail in her coffin. Finally Nick tells Liz that, while he admires her lack of shame courage for coming on this show and putting herself and her sexual history out there, she's milked this situation for all it's worth and it's time to go.

Now that he's gotten rid of Liz, he has to do the hardest thing of all: tell the women. Come clean. Be honest. Of course this is going to be difficult, because being a decent person isn't easy. Especially for a selfish little bitch like Nick. Before dropping the bomb he expresses concern that it's not the right time. But when is it ever a good time to tell your 26 girlfriends that you slept with one of them already? That you've been lying to them since Day 1? That you actually have no dick? I guess we'll find out next week. You know you love me.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl.

Corinne's Corner

There were too many good quotes to incorporate or ignore coming from this girl's articitially plumped up mouth, so here are my favorites:

I just want to be with him. Be with him. And hopefully, I will."

"I was daring enough to have clothes, and take them off."

"Brittany is half naked, and that should be me."

"Like he held my boobs, okay. No one has ever held my boobs like that. Or ever will."

"I really like Nick. When I was talking to him, he was listening."

"Today was just a dream come true. I stepped out of my comfort zone in many different times and angles. Dad would be so proud. Even though I was naked. HE would be proud."

"As long as there's no situation about the situation, we're okay."

"I just put myself out there and I just was myself. That's it. That's all I did, guys. Literally. I was just Corinne."  Yeah, we saw...

Did you notice ...

"I'm ready for the women to see me as me, instead of the guy they've seen on TV."  - Nick....but wait...

Alexis looks like Jade. But she's much cooler. From dolphin/shark to pregnant wife. She's definitely my favorite. Especially when she was resting her drink on her fake pregnant belly.

The girls on the first group date want to give Brittany the benefit of the doubt. They’re jealous of her, but they don’t mind because she didn’t choose to be topless. She was born that way.

The girls complained about being a bridesmaids, but Liz could have told them that's not a bad thing when it comes to Nick.

Did you notice that Liz's big reveal to Gretchen Wieners actually happened over three different scenes? I'm guessing this is because Liz wasn't giving enough detail the first two times and the producers really wanted to get the whole sex thing out there.

On the boat during their 1-on-1 date, Nick makes Danielle M. face the sun after snagging some cheese and then the better spot. SMH.

After hearing they were going to act out breakup scenes, Nick turns to Josephine and says "I'm most worried about you" as she says "violence."

Minority Report: No rose ceremony this week so nothing to report. But noticeably we didn't really see any of our chocolate ladies this week. That's probably a good thing since we were so focused on crazy white girls, but still, can we get more camera time for the lesbian with the nose ring? 

[papermoonloveslucy]

TIME BUDGETING

April 22, 1949

“Time Budgeting” (aka “George and His Trained Seals”) is episode #40 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on April 22, 1949 on the CBS radio network.

Synopsis ~ George is so fed up with Liz's being late for everything that he puts her on a strict schedule.

Note ~ This script was the basis for “Lucy’s Schedule” (ILL S1;E33) filmed on April 18, 1952, and first aired on May 26, 1952.  Directed by Marc Daniels. Written by Jess Oppenheimer, Madelyn Pugh, and Bob Carroll, Jr. 

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Benadaret had not yet become a series regular, but plays the role she would assume as Iris Atterbury. 

Gale Gordon does not appear in this episode. He had not yet been signed as a regular cast member in the role of Rudolph Atterbury, which is here played by Hans Conried. Coincidentally, however, he is the actor who will play Ricky’s boss, Alvin Littlefield, in “Lucy’s Schedule” on “I Love Lucy” and would eventually speak most of the dialogue here taken by Hans Conried as Mr. Atterbury. 

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Hans Conried (Rudolph Atterbury, George’s Boss) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.

At this point in the series, the role of Rudolph Atterbury had not yet been assumed by Gale Gordon.

EPISODE

Announcer: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, we find a familiar domestic drama taking place. They’re invited to the Atterbury’s for dinner. George is standing in the downstairs hall, fully dressed, with his top coat on. Liz is upstairs going through an ancient ritual known to wives as getting ready to go out, and known to husbands as ‘what do they do up there that takes so long?’. Right now George is looking at his watch for the eleventh time.” 

George gets tired of waiting and goes upstairs to discover that she’s still in her slip. He reminds her that the Atterburys like them to be on time.  Liz still hasn’t even chosen an outfit. George gets frustrated waiting for Liz. Just as she’s getting close to ready, she smears her nail polish and has to start all over again. 

LIZ: “I’ll be ready in a minute, dear!”

When she finally gets ready, she discovers him sitting on the bed in his shorts. He has turned the tables on Liz.  

GEORGE: “I’ll be ready in a minute, dear!”

Liz and George pull up to the Atterbury home. They are starving, but luckily George sees them in the living room and thinks they haven’t eaten yet.  George and Liz makes apologies for their lateness. 

They discover that the Atterburys’ have already eaten. Iris (Bea Benadaret) says they prepared pork chops knowing it was Liz’s favorite. Rudolph describes the meal in mouth-watering detail. While Liz would love their maid to prepare her a plate, George insists they have already eaten while waiting for the car to be fixed. 

While Liz and George try to make casual conversation, Liz wolfs down all their after-dinner mints and starts on their fruit bowl.  They foursome decide to go to the movies. Liz isn’t particular about which picture, as long as they sell popcorn. Mr. Atterbury suggests a film at the Strand: Chicken Every Sunday!

LIZ: “Oh, noooo!” 

Chicken Every Sunday premiered on January 18, 1949. It starred Dan Dailey and Celeste Holm, and featured Roy Roberts (Mr. Cheever) and in an uncredited role, Frank J. Scannell (Buffo the Clown). 

When they get home, George and Liz clean out the ice box, waking up Katie the Maid by their feasting. Katie has put a bowl of her hair wave treatment in the fridge, but Liz has devoured it thinking it was custard. 

LIZ: “Look at us, Katie.  Which stomach has the Toni?” 

Liz is punning on the popular ad campaign of Toni Home Permanents: “Which Twin has the Toni?” The campaign was so overwhelmingly successful, that the phrase could often be found in pop culture, like “My Favorite Husband!”  Liz also joked about the slogan three episodes earlier in “April Fools Day” (episode #37) as well as in “Young Matrons League Tryouts” (episode #11). 

George is still mad at Liz for making them late and embarrassing him about dinner. He insists that she start budgeting her time, just like she budgets her money.  Well, like normal people budget money.

GEORGE: “I’ll make up a  chart for you. Fifteen minutes for this, half an hour for that, ten minutes for something else.” LIZ: “I’ll need more than ten minutes for something else.” 

The next day, the schedule is posted on the kitchen door, but Katie is not eager to be told when to do what. That night, dinner is on the table promptly at six o’clock. She serves George dinner and  breakfast simultaneously to save time the next morning. 

A week later, Liz is thrilled that the time schedule has worked. Liz wants to spend all the free time she has saved smooching with her favorite husband. 

Next day, Mr. Atterbury tells George that the fourth Vice President of the bank is leaving to become a school teacher. He has George in mind for the open position, but is reluctant considering is tardiness at dinner. George says he’s fixed the problem, and has Liz and Katie hopping around like trained seals. He invites Mr. Atterbury over for dinner to prove it.  Mr. Atterbury is eager to show his wife that a home can be run on a schedule, so he accepts. 

Meanwhile, at the Cooper home, Liz gets a visit from Iris, who is appalled to discover that Liz is indeed using a schedule.  Iris calls Liz a ‘Benedict Arnold’ for being a traitor to women everywhere. 

Benedict Arnold (1741-1801) was a general during the American Revolutionary War, who fought for the American Continental Army, and later famously defected to the British Army. The name Benedict Arnold quickly became a byword for treason or betrayal. This comparison is also included in the television version of the script, but spoken by Mrs. Littlefield.  In 1965′s “Lucy the Disc Jockey” (TLS S3;E26), Lucy is angry that Mr. Mooney has also entered (and won) a radio contest after he said it was silly.  She calls him a “banking Benedict Arnold.”

Iris says that George is going around the bank saying he has her running around like a trained seals. This doesn’t sit well with Liz, who tears up the time charts and tells Iris that she is going to make it a dinner to remember.

LIZ: “Trained seals of the world unite.”

At dinner that evening, Liz rushes Mr. Atterbury through small talk, and right to the dinner table, claiming she must keep to schedule. Soup is served, and quickly un-served as Katie clears the plates before anyone can get a spoonful in their mouths. 

Mr. Atterbury finds a shirt button in his water glass. Liz explains that she’s washing the dishes and clothes together.  Katie serves a frozen roast and George finally has had enough.  Mr. Atterbury says that George has the new job. George admits he’s been to strict, and Liz is glad to be a trained seal married to a fourth Vice President!

[newagesispage]

                                                                        SEPTEMBER     2020

PAGE   RIB

 The Rolling Stones have released an old unreleased track they did with Jimmy Page. Scarlet also has a brand new video starring Paul Mescal.** The Rolling Stones will open a store on Carnaby St. in London, Rolling Stones #9 on Sept.9.

*****

Where the hell is Matthew Gray Gubler??

*****

Africa had been declared polio free.

*****

Check out Dream Hustle Code!! It is a worthy cause.

*****

Iowa has lifted the ban on felons voting. Hooray!!

*****

They have discovered the longest living vertebrate, a 400 year old shark.

*****

Hey Clockface is the new album coming in October from Elvis Costello.

*****

Drunk History has been cancelled. NO!!!!!!!!! Netflix??

*****

Michigan will pay $600 million to the victims of the water crisis.

*****

They are remaking The Thing.

*****

Fresh Prince will reunite for their 30th.

*****

Scary Clown applied for help to get a sea wall to protect his golf course due to climate change.

*****

Micky Dolenz is said to be recording Dolenz sings Nesmith, an album of songs written by Mike Nesmith.

*****

PEAD or the Presidents Emergency Action Documents are periodically revised and nobody seems to know a thing about them. Word is the rules are being revised right now but how will we know?? These are the most secret documents in the government. Congress is not even privy to them. Does that seem right??

*****

Wendell Pierce will star in The Thrill is On where he will play B.B. King.

*****

Quibi has brought us the Mapleworth murders with John Lutz, Paula Pell, JB Smoove and Tina Fey.

*****

Kutcher and Leno have been sticking up for Ellen. Watch your back, girl!!

*****

The West Wing is reuniting,

*****

Roman Polanski sued the Academy in 2019 for reinstatement but he has now lost that bid.

*****

The California Supreme court has reversed the death penalty for Scott Peterson.

*****

From Beirut to Florida to Belarus to Russia, our leaders never stop letting us down. The state of the world with the anger, the rebellion shows us just how selfish those in power are. ** The military budget: $732 billion, $ needed to bail out the Post office: $25 billion. This one we have to fight for and bring back our mailboxes for goodness sake!!** There are 3 republican Senators who are very uncomfortable with the President’s bashing of the Post Office. **UPS gives mountains of money to McConnell and Trump.

*****

This is an administration more interested in suppressing the vote than the virus. -President Obama ** Brookings.edu will tell you how well your state runs the vote.

*****

Sam Jay has a great stand up special to see called 3 in the morning.

*****

If your religion makes or keeps you stupid, it’s not a good religion. –Michael Mckean

*****

There are calls to dissolve the NRA because of massive fraud.

*****

Rep. David Schweikert was reprimanded and ordered to pay a $50 thousand fine for misuse of funds.

*****

Days alert: Gabi is right about one thing: Gwen seems like a skank.** What must it feel like for Ari Zucker to keep getting dragged back into Trump’s dirty laundry??**So good to see Paige and Eddie again!!!! **Phillip is back!** I wish they would give Eve something better to do and like last month, I wish Jack and Jen could really do something . Perhaps they could hustle stories like back in the day.

*****

Jerry Falwell Jr. has been asked by Liberty University to take an indefinite leave of absence as President and chancellor. He has now resigned. As I wrote about months ago, the torrid story of the pool boy has finally come full circle. It’s about time!!

*****

Face the Nation: When asked if he supported the tweet from that seemed to suggest he was ok with Kyle Rittenhouse, the attorney General of Ky. Daniel Cameron Said, “I condone violence on all it’s forms.” So he was of course asked if he meant CONDEMN and he agreed but I am not so sure. The first response seemed closer to the truth.

*****

Alabama legislator Will Dismukes who was spotted at a celebration for the KKK Grand Wizard, is charged with stealing thousands from a floor company he worked at.

*****

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*****

Is this true? Cops make $150 thousand in Chicago to police schools. That is about half of what teachers make. Mind you, officers also still make their regular pay. The school district voted that even if a school decides not to use police in their school, that $ is still allotted for the cops and cannot be used for other things.** Baron Trump’s school is under orders to stay closed.** It is a blessing that the WH, the NBA and some companies can quarantine and test often. How about spreading some of that around to the food vendors or people at the bottom of your food chain?? It isn’t fair that so many small businesses are going under because they have nowhere to turn.

*****

Louis Dejoy was raked over the coals. He claims to have stopped taking mailboxes and sorting machines but the damage is done. He seemed to say ,”no” a lot in the hearing. He does not seem to know much about his post office. Why are the rules different for the Post Office as opposed to other government agencies?? ** Washington postal workers have reinstalled mail sorting machines. Fingers crossed that they keep their jobs.

*****

Arizona Senator McSally told supporters they might come up with more campaign cash for them if they do a bit of fasting.

****

I always get a tear when I see John McCain give the thumbs down that day or when he defended Obama from that awful woman during their campaigns.

*****

The DNC went off without much of a hitch. Everybody looked and sounded good. Tammy Duckworth was especially noteworthy.  Bloomberg seemed to have bought himself a prime spot and lashed out at Trump from the business side of things.** Jon Favreau had a good take that the RNC’s message was that if you’re rich and white, you can do anything.** At the RNC: Tom Cotton just said America is safer now than 4 years ago, but one of the themes of this convention is that America’s cities are more violent than ever, -John Avlon** Pence: Make America great again again! WTF?** The last night of the RNC  did not have to compete with sports but the DNC still won the ratings race, if that matters to U.

*****

The Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has resigned.

*****

What if we just put confederate General hats on all the mailboxes? –Conan** Hurricane Laura knocked down a confederate monument that they had voted to keep.

*****

Claudia Conway is seeking emancipation.  Her parents Kellyanne and George are stepping away from their respective opposing political roles.

*****

The Senate intel committee informed the DOJ in mid 2019 that it believed Trump Jr., Kushner, Eric Prince, Manafort, Bannon, Sam Clovis and Hope Hicks all committed crimes.** Bannon was arrested as well as Brian Kolfage, for pocketing funds from the We build the wall fund that Mexico was supposed to pay for.  Bannon was arrested by the postal service on a yacht belonging to another alleged criminal.

*****

Loved the Colbert show talking about “prayers in the air” and Trevor Noah calling out the ‘militia members’ for what they are: ‘gang members.’

*****

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*****

A former FBI agent has documented white supremacists and militias have infiltrated police across the U.S.

*****

It’s silly to believe an illness can stem from having sex with a demon, but just to be safe I’m giving it up anyway. – Emo Phillips

*****

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*****

So Seth Meyers had a poll about his sea captain and NBC would not let them use their site?? It didn’t matter for it does not seem they took it seriously anyway. The duck, who was not part of the poll is a nice touch though as is the fish. Long live the sea captain!! That is Forte, Armisen and Samberg, right??

*****

Sturgis? Smashmouth ??really??

*****

Sen Penn married Leila George.

*****

If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you. –LBJ

*****

What if we’re the weird ones ya’ll , and he’s just Al Yankovic. –George Wallace

*****

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*****

Larry Wilmore will host a late night show on Peacock.

*****

So, the Black*ish episode that wasn’t, will finally air, now how about letting us see the Gary Cole episode of SVU??

*****

I can’t wait for Ratched, the origin story of Nurse Ratched. Sept. 18 will bring us Sarah Paulson, Judy Davis, Finn Wittrock, Sharon Stone, Amanda Plummer, Vincent D’onofrio and Cynthia Nixon.

*****

Jim Belushi stars in Growing Belushi about his new pot farm.

*****

Why is it so hard for humans to open their minds? From law enforcement rehab to using home grown drugs for pain or listening to different cultures and religions, it should be ez to just listen. Doctors are touting psilocybin for everything from quitting cigarettes to depression.  The effects can be lifesaving and science can save us all. This is not the dark ages but on some days, we would never know that.

*****

Fire-Nado?  Double hurricanes?? Whoa!

***

Many sports teams went on strike.

*****

R.I.P. Reni Santoni, David Rossi, Wilforn Brimley, Gary Knopp, Pete Hamill, John Hume, Daisy Coleman, Helen Jones Woods, Brent Carver, Beirut victims, Brent Scrowcroft, Leon Fleischer, Trini Lopez, Raymond Allen, Sumner Redstone, covid victims, Robert Trump, Matt Heron, Linda Manz, Ash Christian, Robert Ryland, Justin Townes Earle, Allan Rich, Gail Sheehy, Reni Santoni, Jacob Blake, hurricane victims, Kenosha victims and Chadwick Boseman.