#DONT WORRY NEXT PART THE ANGST IS OFFICIALLY OVER

[trickstarbrave]

omegaverse 2 fic. part THREE!!!

part 2 can be found here (it also includes a link to part 1 in the post)

nerevar is not in any real danger. but he certain thinks he is. warnings for a i guess talks of death.

he is doing physically better enough to jack off a little bit though

If Nerevar was thankful for anything, it was his ability to plan. 

Leaving Resdayn was the best course of action, all things considered, but there were many options to flee to. He could have taken a way out through Blackmarsh, but he wasn’t sure surviving in the swamps was going to be easy for them. Sure, he did well on the Bitter Coast, but that wasn’t comparable to the alien home of the argonians. Not to mention, the argonians could be particularly hostile to the chimer, were good at ambushing, and more importantly: the Morag Tong wouldn’t think twice to look for him there.

Nerevar knew it wasn’t just a matter of time of laying low to get House Dagoth off his ass. No, if they couldn’t find him to drag him back for execution, they’d make due with the guild. They were pragmatic like that. They might want a proper execution to make a point, but they would just as easily allow the guild to hunt him and present Voryn with his severed head and heart. 

So Nerevar was instead making his way up north on the mainland, heading to the opposite corner of the country. He hid out in Mournhold for a bit, letting the chaos and crowded streets conceal his presence for a time as he made his plans and bought supplies, before continuing his uneven path to Blacklight.

Skyrim wouldn’t be the most hospitable place. Nords hated elves, after all, but no doubt House Dagoth expected him to take the easy way out and flee to either Cyrodiil or Blackmarsh where they could use the guild. They’d think twice about looking for him in the harsh landscape of Skryim or sending the guild there--they might anger the nords and start a conflict that wouldn’t be worth just securing Nerevar’s life. And he could simply claim in Skyrim that he was the bastard son of a nobody--someone lucky enough to have taken a chimer woman hostage, at least. It was common enough, and if he laid low and stuck to the wilds hunting for the most part, he should be able to survive there long enough for House Dagoth to give up and presume he’s dead. 

After that, Nerevar would be home free. He could go wherever he wanted to, so long as it wasn’t Resdayn. The Illiac Bay, High Rock, Elsweyr.

All he had to do was make it up to Blacklight, and he could cross the Velothi mountains. The biggest issue though would be timing. It had to be before it got too cold, and also he needed to plan around his heat. Normally he’d just count on suppressants for something as risky as this, but they were getting dramatically less effective. Even spending his heat in an inn room didn’t really seem viable; being around others was only exacerbating his worst symptoms. His uncle coming by his room to offer him food left Nerevar wanting to set himself on fire, and strangers constantly prodding him seemed even worse, he imagined.

The biggest issue though was Nerevar was… Slower than expected. As a canvasari he was used to walking long distances across the country, but it seemed the past few months had not been kind to Nerevar. He was sleeping, but woke up feeling unrested. He was still having trouble eating properly, even outside of his heat. Small attacks from wild animals left him recovering longer than he typically did, and no amount of fatigue potions seemed to get him moving any faster. 

Which is why he fell behind schedule of his plans. He should really make a run for it, heading through one of the smaller mountain passes, but the idea of waiting out his heat in a small cave in the mountain pass with no promise of reliable food, clean water, and not getting potentially frozen in there was… 

Well. It was terrifying and stupid. He has only two options: try and wait out his heat in a shitty mountain pass, or hunker down in Resdayn, wait it out, and take the larger pass near Blacklight with more reliable travel. 

Yet, once again, his planning failed him. He was at a town near Blacklight, cold weather settling in, when the tell-tale symptoms of his heat started coming on. Hot flashes, nausea, panic, fear, all of the miserable things he began associating with his heat. 

He managed to buy some supplies, rushing out of town, and finding an old cave to hunker down in. Nerevar tried to be optimistic; it was a good thing his heat had come on a week early. Now he could wait it out, recover a bit, and make his way to Blacklight or another town or city with a mountain pass. He didn’t have to worry about going into it while making the trek through the mountains. 

At least, that was what he attempted at first. Once the heat really set in, Nerevar wished more than anything it would simply stop. The suppressants either weren’t doing anything, or his heat had only gotten worse. Likely both, if he was honest, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t miserable. Even looking at food left his stomach churning. The weather was frigid, but he felt like he was running a fever, and all of his skin burned. At several points he grabbed handfuls of snow just to slather his body in it, trying to calm the burning, but all it did was make him shiver instead. 

And then, when he was at his lowest wishing for death, death finally found him. 

“... Shit, I wasn’t expecting it to actually be him.” A hushed voice said, and Nerevar jolted from his dazed half-sleep. It was familiar, though he was so disoriented from both a lack of sleep and food that he couldn’t place why. Was someone here? A hallucination maybe? 

“We don’t want him running. Send in the guards.”

“Odros even if he runs I doubt he’ll get far.” Nerevar felt his body tense, wanting to flee, but finding no energy to pull himself upright. 

People were close. Multiple people. He had to run, or else he’d be caught. He had to run--now. But somehow all of his limbs felt heavier than lead, and even lifting his head and squirming around was a struggle. 

Footsteps approached next, Nerevar’s vision hazy. Someone touched him gently, but the touch felt like knives on his skin, making him snarl and growl in a weak attempt at protecting himself. They sighed, before tilting his head back, pressing a bottle to his lips.

“Drink. It’ll help.” Nerevar’s lips formed a tight line, nausea making his face go pale and head swim again. The potion smelled sweet and bitter at the same time, a disgusting combination to his sense, his body objecting to the idea of downing it. Another sigh, before Nerevar felt a spell in their hand washing some of the nausea away, before the potion was fed to him forcibly. 

He coughed and choked, but they continued pouring it in, making him drink. The painful burning began to fade, and the restlessness that had been keeping him awake the past two days finally subsided, along with more of the nausea.

“There we go,” They said, “Stubborn s’wit.” Before Nerevar found his arms being bound behind his back, another growl ripping through his throat as he squirmed.

“It’s for your own good.” One of the people tying him said. “We can’t risk you running again, Nerevar.” His vision was still unfocused and blurry, before a hand touched his forehead.

“Why don’t you sleep for a bit?” And with that, his vision turned black, and his body slumped, completely unconscious.

--

When Nerevar awoke, with a slightly clearer mind, he realized how dire his situation was.

His thoughts were still muddled, but he did actually manage to get a semi-restful sleep in the back of the cart he was in, though his body felt weak and he still had no strength in his limbs. But the blankets and pillows in the cart were of a familiar color and pattern, all smelling faintly of the incense of House Dagoth, and even more faintly of Voryn.

He’d been foolishly caught by House Dagoth, something that made him want to curl up in shame.

Nerevar debated trying to break out and make a run for it, but he knew that wouldn’t do him any good at the moment. For one, he didn’t have a lot of optimism for his ability to break out at the moment. His hands were still bound, his body still felt weak, and not to mention, they took his weapons and most of his supplies, leaving him with only the essentials in the cart. 

Nerevar buried his face in a cushion that smelled particularly like Voryn, frustrated, antsy, and still dizzy. He tried to find a way out of it, his mind racing, but he was coming up empty.

Briefly, he remembered what they said about those born under the thief sign: incredibly lucky, until they weren’t. They were doomed, inevitably, to have that luck run out and their lives cut short. 

He supposed it was fitting, in the end. The past six months--half a year of suffering--had been nothing but bad luck. Healers that couldn’t help him, House Dagoth ordering his execution on top of the existing exile, the fact his illness wasn’t seeming to get any better… And to top it all off, he couldn’t get away fast enough. He was caught, tied up, and was being dragged back to Kogoruhn. At least Nerevar could hope that his heat would be over when they executed him. 

At the revelation this was really the end, his body slumped, numbness settling in again.

As pathetic as it was to lay down and accept death, Nerevar didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t think he could go up against Vemyn and Odros as weak as he was right now--he’d just get killed for trying. He didn’t know how he could escape and hide either; he was moving too slowly to get any distance between them, and being in heat would make that attempt all the more miserable. They’d likely find him all over again before he got far. 

Though perhaps… Nerevar simply wanted this to be over. Even if he did run away, even if he did make it to Skyrim, was that really going to be any better? Skyrim had worse magic users and healers than Resdayn as far as he knew; he didn’t expect them to find a cure for him, and it would likely be many more months--even years--until he could make it out of the country to see a different healer more familiar with elven physiology. Every heat he was getting worse and worse, his condition deteriorating rapidly. If not for the weird potion they forced him to drink, Nerevar imagined he’d still be pleading for death to take him. 

All Nerevar could do, in the end, was hope that his death didn’t crush Voryn as much as he thought it would. He hoped Voryn would be fine in the end; the dust would settle, he would mourn and then move on. 

“Alright brat,” Vemyn scowled, opening the cart’s door, making Nerevar jump and hiss at the bright light hitting him. “It’s time to eat.” He plopped down saltrice porridge with some meat on top. A typical meal on the road, but the very sight and scent had him nauseated. 

Nerevar turned his head from it, instead burying his face in the pillow that smelled like Voryn, breathing deeply in an effort to keep from dry heaving. 

“Oh don’t act stubborn like that.” Vemyn rolled his eyes. “I’ve made Voryn eat when he was throwing a fit too, I can make you eat.” 

“Please don’t…” Nerevar moaned, feeling a disgusting, hot feeling climb up his throat, a tell-tale sign of intense nausea as his stomach turned. “Please, please I don’t…”

Vemyn took this protest as one of defiance though, taking Nerevar by the jaw, grabbing a bit of roasted meat. Nerevar closed his mouth tightly, skin burning again at the unwanted contact, tears stinging in his eyes as he twisted them shut. Regardless of how much he protested though, Vemyn managed to pry his mouth open, forcing the food inside, and Nerevar immediately began gagging and retching. Impulsively, Vemyn dropped him as Nerevar spat the food out, before throwing up bile for good measure, his body shaking and trembling uncontrollably. 

He almost face planted right into his own vomit if not for Vemyn grabbing him again, swearing under his breath.

“Shit,” 

“I told you not to make him eat.” Odros called from outside.

“He looks like shit, he needs to eat!” 

“Omegas are different from alphas.” Odros snarked back.

“Well what do you want me to do, let him waste away back there?” Honestly, Nerevar would prefer it. What did it matter if they fed him? He was going to die anyway. He wouldn’t starve to death by the end of his heat, and they could just keep dragging him to Kogoruhn.

“The healers can look him over when we get back to see why he’s not eating.” Vemyn still pulled him from the cart, as much as Nerevar protested it. He grabbed the pillow in a futile effort to keep himself inside; the enclosed space was much better than being out in the open, at least instinctively. But Vemyn just tossed Nerevar over his shoulder, pillow and all, and walked out, instructing the guards to clean it. 

Nerevar was then plopped by the fire, shaking and trembling, but to his surprise Odros wrapped a blanket around him, covering his body and face. Maybe it was just because the man didn’t want to look at Nerevar, but to Nerevar it was a blessing. The blanket was soft, and smelled more like Voryn too, slowly putting him at ease. 

A restlessness came then, the desire to run out into the wilderness and head for Kogoruhn himself, his legs shifting under the fabric eager to take off. 

Ah, he wanted to see Voryn. He wanted to see him so badly it was hurting, his chest aching. His teeth were clenched from how badly he wanted him, his thoughts only on Voryn and all the little things about him Nerevar missed. The way his hands would often have ink or charcoal stains when he was up late studying, how he always preferred a mild tea blend with honey (that had to be imported, a little indulgence he couldn’t go without), the way his laugh carried and rumbled in his chest… 

“Here,” Odros stuck a potion bottle under the blanket. It was the same pinkish colored potion he remembered from when they found him, however vaguely. Was it an even stronger type of suppressant? If so, Nerevar would take it. It didn’t matter if it was also unhealthy for him or even poisonous after all; he was going to die anyways, though he didn’t enjoy the idea of eating anything with how sick he felt. 

Nerevar uncapped it, his stomach turning, before he closed his eyes. He imagined Voryn was there, pressing the potion bottle to his lips, gentle voice coaxing him to drink. Nerevar began drinking, groaning in displeasure at the taste, nearly gagging at one point, before he managed to down most of it. It coated his tongue in a way that left him feeling more nauseous, but slowly the restlessness and burning once again faded, leaving him slowly starting to feel… Relaxed. 

“It’s clean.” One of the guards announced, though Nerevar could tell in his voice he was annoyed at having to do so. Nerevar didn’t really know why they bothered either, if he was being honest. It didn’t matter if a prisoner being dragged back to the stronghold for execution had to ride for several days with his own vomit, did it? 

“Alright,” Vemyn then picked Nerevar up again, still wrapped in the blanket, holding him under his arm like a bag of rice. Nerevar had half a mind to bite him, but luckily couldn’t manage from underneath the blanket. “Back in you go.” He then plopped Nerevar back onto the pillows, earning a growl. 

“Glad he still has some spirit.” Vemyn added as they locked the cart once more. Nerevar freed his head, once more wishing he had bitten Vemyn.

“Asshole…” Nerevar muttered under his breath, before curling back up with the blanket and cushion, trying to get comfortable. 

“He has some saltrice crackers, let him snack on that until we get back.” Odros stated. 

“Omegas are so annoying like this…” Vemyn grumbled. “Whatever. We need to head back quickly. He can eat in Kogoruhn then.”

Nerevar wondered how long he’d be alive then to eat there. Maybe they’d give him a last meal? It was hard to say. Perhaps they wanted an official trial, though it seemed odd given how House Dagoth didn’t usually bother unless the situation was particularly murky. There was nothing really vague about what happened with Nerevar. He agreed to spend his heat with Voryn. He had sex with Voryn. Voryn tried to claim him. 

Ah, even thinking about it had Nerevar rubbing his neck, a shiver running through him. Maybe he should have let Voryn just claim him. It would have felt good, at least. The feeling of being claimed was supposed to be an orgasmic rush, and everything falling into place, at least for a moment. If he was going to be punished anyways, he should have just gone for it. Let them hate him and kill him for something he actually did, not something that almost happened. 

His hips were squirming at the thought, a shiver of desire running through him. He hadn’t been able to masturbate his last heat; he was too miserable to even try, but now that the restlessness and burning had subsided he found himself oddly aroused. He buried his face even further into the blanket as one hand slipped into his trousers, stroking and rubbing against his cock. 

“Ah~” Nerevar moaned softly, muffling it with the fabric. Sparks shot up his spine as he once again imagined being claimed, his other hand stroking at the spot Voryn almost bit him on. The pleasure wasn’t enough; gods he missed Voryn’s hands on him--even just his fingers was enough to get Nerevar off sometimes, and that was to say nothing about his cock or his mouth--

Nerevar’s eyes rolled back at the memory, rubbing faster as his breathing quickened. 

Voryn’s mouth on him, tongue lapping at him and moaning obscenely as he whispered and moaned about how good Nerevar tasted, before his tongue slipped up and rolled around his cock. His lips closed around the nub too, suckling gently at first, increasing pressure as his fingers thrust in and out of Nerevar, rubbing at his sweet spot…

His body trembled as he came suddenly, no doubt pent up from six months of being unable to get off, a strangled groan falling from his lips. And then, just as soon as the bliss washed over him, tears started to fall from his eyes, only frustrating him more.

He didn’t want to cry. Nerevar was fucking sick of crying. He had finally just felt good after so long, at least for a brief moment even if his nausea wasn’t going away fully. And now here he was, spoiling the moment himself, crying. 

Gods he missed Voryn. The longing seemed to only get worse after his orgasm, as he curled back up with the cushion and blanket. He wanted Voryn to scent him again. He wanted Voryn curled up with him, holding him tightly. He wanted Voryn kissing him and whispered to him. He missed the safety and security of Voryn’s arms.

He never quite felt this way before. Certainly he enjoyed spending time with Voryn before--Nerevar loved his laugh, all his weird little habits, the way he twirled his rings when he was nervous, the soft tender smile he reserved for very few people, one of which was Nerevar himself…

He didn’t know what it meant. All he knew was it hurt to think about how he’d never be able to have it again. 

--

Nerevar had been under the impression they were going to drag him all the way to Kogoruhn in a cart. It made sense, honestly; why bother with teleportation for a prisoner? But upon overhearing the guards talk, they weren’t going to head for a port to take a boat to Vvardenfell, and were instead heading to Blacklight for the propylon chamber. 

It was weird. They were in a rush to execute him, but were talking about keeping him long enough to feed him and let a healer look at him. Were they afraid he might die before standing trial? Possibly. Did they need something else from Nerevar? Not that he could think of, honestly. They kept most of his things and he didn’t have much value they could extract from him directly. If they wanted compensation from House Mora they could simply demand it with his head or shake down his uncle, couldn’t they? Maybe the cart and animals were on loan from House Redoran and they were eager to return them before they incurred any more debt, but House Redoran weren’t as cutthroat about money like Hlaalu or even Dres were. 

They were rested again, having made camp, Nerevar still curled up in the locked cart. By tomorrow they’d reach Blacklight. By around noon they’d no doubt be teleporting to Kogoruhn, where… Who knows what awaited him. 

He did realize he knew one of the guards. Not a canvasari, but an actual, proper guard in House Dagoth. The guards hadn’t been talking to him much; again, Nerevar couldn’t blame them. For starters, an omega in heat wasn’t one for much conversation. For another, he was a prisoner--why bother conversing with a prisoner? They could heckle him a little, sure, but he supposed they wanted to behave given they were traveling with nobility. 

Dagoth Beryl: fairly humble guard, less stuck up than most. Sometimes on trips where negotiations were important he was the official escort of Voryn or whichever Dagoth brother they were taking. Nerevar mostly protected items, after all, and being a proper guard of a noble required more intense training and education. For one, it couldn’t be done by outsiders; you needed to be an official member of the house, hence why Nerevar never got it. Outside of that you also needed etiquette training, education on politics, knowledge on poison antidotes and healing magic… Sometimes you were even required to taste food first to make sure it wasn’t poisoned. 

Again, not really the job Nerevar was cut out for. He could kill well, but he wasn’t skill in medical care or restoration magic, nor did he really care all that much about etiquette most of the time. House Dagoth had enough personal guards anyways, but were always in need of damn caravan guards. Most canvasari were flakey, ill mannered, and traveled from place to place in hopes of finding work. Nerevar was one of the few regular canvasari, someone that was reliable to have on hand.

Or well, he was. Not anymore after he seduced their heir completely unintentionally. Once again, Nerevar wished he had gone further and pushed for more. He would have at least earned all the shit he suffered through. Azura’s mercy, he probably would have suffered less because they would have just killed him faster! And he would have enjoyed it more! 

Beryl was the guard on duty for the night, and the potions they kept giving Nerevar were helping. He didn’t know what they were exactly--he was still in heat, and still struggling in many aspects, certainly enough that he couldn’t run away--but they were helping him not want to die if someone else so much as looked at him or spoke to him. He was even able to nibble on the saltrice crackers more reliably without getting nauseous, though anything more than that had his stomach churning in protest. 

“How does House Dagoth usually execute people?” Nerevar asked. A bit out of the blue, but he didn’t see a point in beating around the bush. They all knew why he was here, after all. He could start with small talk and work his way up to dropping the question, but it wouldn’t really soften the blow much for either of them. 

Nerevar knew he was going to die. They knew he was going to die. He figured he might as well ask how.

Beryl was quiet at that, falling absolutely silent. 

“Uhm,” Beryl began, “Normally in House Dagoth… Someone is simply killed for their transgression immediately.”

“And if there was an official execution?” Again, the guard was quiet. Nerevar couldn’t see him, but the tone of voice told Nerevar he was uncomfortable. Probably because it was a dark subject matter

“... I believe…” He continued, voice still hesitant, “ I think the official process is that they’re giving a poison that swiftly stops the heart,” he paused again, “And then they’re decapitated for good measure.”

Nerevar knew that poison. Voryn had brought it up once or twice. Every Great House had their own specialty poisons--though House Telvanni likely had too many to even count. This one was a colorless, extremely bitter liquid used on political enemies when they needed something fast and effective. First it quickly knocked the victim out, putting them to sleep so they couldn’t fight or vomit it back up, and then very quickly worked to stop their heart entirely. Within a minute they would be dead, passing without much hassle. It was important for him as heir to understand how the potion was made, keep its recipe a closely guarded secret, and also have antidotes on hand in the event someone tried to use it against him. 

It was, like all things in House Dagoth, fast and effective. Other houses delighted in torturing political enemies: selling them into slavery, extensive torture, whipping them until their bones were visible on their backs, or even nailing them to stakes out in the wilderness while guards watched animals come to eat them alive--or failing that, they died of exposure in the sometimes harsh climate of Resdayn.

It wasn’t a bad way to go, in all honesty. They could certainly do worse, and still might if he was being honest. They could give him the poison right now, but were probably waiting to drag him back to make a point of it, or because they thought Nerevar might have answers of what disease he gave Voryn. 

Nerevar could just tell himself it was a sleeping potion. He was having trouble sleeping lately, after all. He was back ‘home’ in Kogoruhn, just laying down to sleep, and when he woke up he could see Voryn again. Something nice as he faded into oblivion; a sweet lie to bring himself a bit of comfort. 

The numbness in his body spread at the revelation, static in his veins and his head even more foggy. Maybe thinking about it was bad for him. But he at least had a plan to make his death a little more bearable. 

“... Thanks.” Nerevar replied, before once again going silent.

[equallyshaw]

toronto birthday, pt 2 to california christmas with jamie drsdale.

Warnings: angst.

Word Count: 1.9k

Part one:

Can be read as a stand-alone :)

────────────

tara sat in her mom's kitchen in toronto, and was eating a snack while she read a book. it was currently may, and the ducks were officially out of the playoffs contention, so she had been waiting for jamie to come back now that he was free to. she had missed him since she visited him for spring break, and hadn't seen him since march. delilah her mom's girlfriend walked in with coffee and she silently thanked her.

"have you heard from him?" she questioned, and tara shook her head. "he'll text, dont worry t." delilah reassured her and she smile softly as delilah walked out. her brother jonathan strolled in, stealing a sip from his sister's coffee. "ew, thats grosss." she complained, making jonathan laugh out loud. jonathan leaned on the counter across from her, "have you heard anything? z?" tara questioned her older brother and he shook his head. though he was lying, so was delilah.

tara walked into toronto cafe, later that afternoon to grab some coffee and a cinnamon roll to snack on. she sat down, texting away on her phone with her bestfriend lauren who was in on what was gonna be happening the next day. "tara?" she heard from next to her and she knew that voice. it was her ex boyfriend, erik. she looked up and it was indeed him. his eyes flickered to the empty chair in front of her and then back at her. she noticied that and caved. "would you like to sit?" she questioned and he nodded softly, not trying to ruin the moment.

"how have you been?" she asked sipping her iced coffee, and he smiled. a genuine smile. "im good, schools good. how have you been?" he asked sipping his hot latte. "its been fine, as expected." she mused, a small smile shown. "hows dad? mom? brothers?" he asked leaning back in his chair. she mirrored him, "they are good! brothers trucking away at hockey ofcourse. dad is about to celebrate hit anniversary and mom is mom." she stated. he nodded, "you doing anything for your birthday?" he questioned, curiously. she shrugged, "i haven't heard anything." she said honestly, as if her birthday was not tomorrow. "really? nothing?" he questioned, taken back a bit. "nada. everybody has been busy. though my best friend promised to take me to timmies for coffee and breakfast." she rememberd. he nodded, "lauren?" he asked and tara nodded. "well-- if you don't have anything happening...i'd love to take you out for old time sakes." he said nervously, trying to gage her reaction. she sighed, unsure. "i dont know erik.." she said looking behind him for a brief moment. and that's when she saw him. jamie.

her eyebrows creased, as the two met eye to eye. his sling completley gone, his skin golden, even more freckles kissed upon his cheeks and nose. his mouth parted, mid step; unsure if he should order coffee or leave. he wasn't meant to be seen, but he also wasn't expecting to see tara the girl he truly liked; sitting nonchalantly with her ex. her pos ex. she looked down at her coffee feeling like she had been caught red handed, she wasn't hiding anything, she didn't come with or expect to see erik. she looked back up, about to go up to him but he was gone. the sound of the door a second later. she stood up, grabbing her coffee and without a goodbye; she hurried after jamie.

"jamie!" she screamed jogging over towards him. he had his toronto car with him, and he hopped in ignoring the girl. "jamie!" she screamed again, and stopped next to his door. he didn't move, and a few seconds later he looked over at her. he saw the confusion and hurt written all over her face. "jamie." she said, defiently. he sighed, rolling down his window to reveal trevor next to him. "you fools!" she yelled, grinning. "what do you want tara? seems like your occupied." jamie said with attitude, his eyes flicking back to see erik walking out looking for tara. she looked back to and growled. "im not with him. he happened to be there at the same time i was. that's it. i would never reach out to him. i promise. im not hiding a thing!" she defended, hoping to see the genuineness in her eyes. jamie looked down at her, before trevor told her to hop in. as she did so, jamie hit trevor softly in the ribs; without her seeing.

the two boys drove her to her mom's house. she hopped out, stopping next to jamie's door. "please, just please text me so we can meet. we need to talk, talk about us." she whispered the last part. he nodded, rolling up his window and she stood there for a second, before walking towards her house. how did their relationship just blow up in a matter of 20 seconds?

—

lauren pulled up at tara's house with coffee and her sandwich in hand. tara grinned, plucking it from her hands and they drove off to a spot they used to go to during highscool. they ate, catching up as if they hadn't seen eachother in years, though it had only been a week. only a week. she asked about jamie, and told her what happened. lauren silently cursed him, he had ruined the surprised he had wrangled lauren in for her. "im sure he's fine." lauren mused, whilst typing away an angry message for him. "youre an idiot drysdale!!! you know she frequents that coffee shop downtown omg" she sent and then shut her phone.

"well lets go shopping." lauren smiled, putting the jeep in drive and jetting off. t-6 hours until the surprise. the two spent two hours paroozing and shopping at various canadian brands and some international brands. lauren splurging and buying tara a necklace for her birthday from tiffany, which the latter begged her not to. little did the birthday gal know, but that was curtesy of jamie. the two headed back to lauren's house to get ready for their dinner date that tara believed that had. she settled on a black strapless dress, hugging her curves perfectly and slicked her hair half up half down for the occasion. lauren walked up behind the birthday girl with a small bday cake, and tara smiled widely in the bathroom mirror. "awe, lauren- you didnt have to." she frowned and turned around in the swivel chair. she smiled down at the cake, illuminated with candels. "lets get a pic on the bed!" lauren said and moving into the bedroom quickly. tara chuckled, laying down halfway and posing with it. she blew out the candles, hoping that this year. her 21st year on life, would be her best yet.

—

the two walked hand in hand to the more upscale toronto restaurant. tara's eyebrows creased as lauren pulled her past the hostess, and away from the main dining area. "lauren?" tara questioned as they went down a hallway. lauren stalled in front of the door that was open, and pushed tara towards doorway. "SURPRISE!!!!" the group of friends and family yelled. tara brought her hand to her mouth, gasping and then turned towards lauren; instantly hugging her best friend. "oh my god, hi!!!!" she turned back around and waved. she found her brother's jonathan and erik, her dad and his wife. along with her mom and delilah. she made her way over to her brothers who instantly took her in for a big hug. "SO glad we pulled this off." the two brothers smiled high fiving one another. "with my help ofcourse." lauren mused, and the brothers agreed. "all they did was get the hockey dudes here." lauren grinned, pointing towards the players. tara turned around seeing jamie drysdale, trevor zegras, owen powers and hig gf, mason mctavish, brendan brisson and thomas bordealou. just some friends that jonathan had made along his journey to the nhl. who in turn, loved tara more than jonathan. much to his dismay ofcourse.

tara caught the eye of jamie and gave him a small grin, to which he returned with a smile. so maybe the situation earlier, was forgotten? "here!" lauren yelled, pushing a glass of vodka cranberry into her hand and tara rolled her eyes playfully before taking a big sip. "woah slow down there girlie!!! we dont need you passing out too early." she heard the famous and cheery voice of trevor. she turned around and stuck her tongue out. "we dont talk about that time." she playfully snarled, causing him to clutch his chest as he laughed. "not my fault your a lightweight and didn't tell us!" he defended him self and she gave him a vulgar gesture, to which he replied with a big smile. "imma leave you two to settle things." trevor said pulling jamie away from the group he was in and in front of tara. tara swallowed nervously. "happy birthday." he smiled. she smiled, "thankyou jamie." she smiled back. "liste-" "Im sor-" the two said at the time time, to which tara blushed.

"im sorry, that i freaked out. i was also nervous, because you had seen me when you weren't supposed to." he explained and she nodded. "i had no right to, and i apologize." he added and she nodded again. she leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. "thankyou." was all she said before going around and talking to people.

it was around 11:30 when the two found one another again, on the dance floor. tara was on her 3rd vodka cranberry and was feeling it in her bones. the song 'you belong with me' was blasting, therefore trevor was belting the song along with jamie and tara on the top of their lungs. jamie held tara in his arms, in front of him as they did so. the song turned to the archer, and at the end as the beat began to up, so did the group of younglins. 'cause they see right through me' was screamed throughout the private room. lauren and tara jumped up and down, now that their heels were discarded an hour earlier. and to end the night, mr brightside played causing tara to laugh loudly. this was one of the songs that played during jamies, trevors and mason's party during her spring break.

jamie and tara looked at one another, dancing to the song. it was almost as if the final song was played in slow motion. tara at one point during the first bridge, pulled jamie in for a big kiss. with trevor and mason eyes widening, and freaking out. lauren laughed along with owen powers gf, as the two watched. the two pulled apart, smiling at one another. their breathing heavy and their hearts pounding. he twirled her one last time, and the song was over.

—

tara woke up the following morning in jamie's hotel room he had booked for the evening. she found him staring at her, dazed with exhaustion. "hi." she hummed, leaning up and kissed him. he pulled her in again, gently pulling her chin back up. "happy first full day of being 21." he whispered before pulling her in for another kiss, by her necklace but paused. "glad my money was well spent." he nodded towards the necklace. she was confused for a moment before realizing. "you cheeky boy." she grinned.

—

@taratatee: 21 years🤍🥳🦋🫶🏻

233 likes, 12 comments

Load more comments.

@laurenstallard: love uuuuuu

@brendan.brisson: pArTy tImE

@jamiedrysdale: birthday girl 🫶🏻

@trevorzegras: one year closer to 22

@taratatee: bahahaha, ‘feeling 21’

•

@jamiedrysdale: has posted to private story.

—

Hope you guys enjoyed!!!!

Random Tags: @jayda12 , @zegrasbabyyy @zegras2crosby @fallinallincurls @jamiedryssdale @cellythefloshie @hugheshugs @mack-samo @maximoffweasley

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys neglecting you for another girl PT 1 (Kenma)

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 1.3K

Genre: angst,fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You go over to your boyfriend ,Kenma’s, house every weekened to play on your shade survival minecraft world 

But one week you were too cramped to come over one week so you missed out on a gaming session 

At school the following week you heard Kuroo and the guys teasing Kenma over a new found gaming friend 

But you payed no attention

Now you’re done with your exams and ready to continue on w/ Kenma on fighting the enderdragon and building up your world

You get to Kenmas house an hour after finishing your school club, upon entering you hear him button smashing upstairs (per usual) but something not so usual was him giggling with laughter...

Kenma.Your stoic boyfriend Kenma. giggling..

Because of your confusion you slowly go up the stairs as his laughter ensues making you more perplexed ‘kenma barely talks to people that aren’t Kuroo and me, especially someone who makes him laugh this much’ you think to yourself.

“Ella, i’ve found the stronghold! Just follow me” Kenma exclaimed as you entered his bedroom “Yes Ella you have to press X to jump” he laughed again

‘Ella, who’s ella’ you think. You hear a response on the other end but you can make it out properly. Kenma and ‘Ella’ continue on speaking making plans on what they’re about to do next.. with Kenma not noticing you came into his room yet. You look at the TV and notice that Kenma is playing with someone else on YOUR world that you started which made you slightly agitated. 

You purposefully drop your bag a tad too aggressively, but that seems to work as you catch Kenmas attention as he turns to you for a split second as he mumbles quitely “Oh hey babe” before swiftly getting engrossed again into the game.

Annoyed, you sit on next to him on the bed waiting.. JUST WAITING for some proper acknowledgement to which you received none. You just sat there mindlessly scrolling through your phone as he continuously talked with Ella AND coached her through killing the ender dragon (a plan that you and Kenma said to do together since the beginning of your minecraft survival world idea)

After almost an hour of just sitting there idly, you decide to get up pick up your bag and leave. Hoping just hoping that your ‘oh-so great and caring’ boyfriend would take off his headset and stop you from leaving. But this isn’t a movie of course... so no Kenma did not run straight after you pull you into his arms and comfort you. He stayed in his room laughing away with Ella putting you at the back of his mind.

You go straight home and cry still wishing for a follow-up text on the incident that happened at Kenmas but no response there.

Luckily for you, it was half term break meaning there was no school for a couple weeks so you didn’t have to face the awkward confrontation or lack thereof with Kenma at school. But it was unlucky for you since usually every half term and weekend you’d spend at Kenmas but obviously now you can’t.

You do wonder if he’s thought about texting or calling you to reconcile or even just thought about you at all. You desperately wanted to reach out to him, but with your relationship you do feel that you’re the one that always has to start the conversation after you’ve had a ‘falling out.’ So all you do is wait ( assuming that you’ve broke up or something for now.)

The two weeks of break has ended and now you’re back at school waiting to face the music. The whole day, you felt anxious waiting to bump into him in the corridor or see him at lunch but you never did.

Later that day you get a message..

Kuroo: Hey y/n! How have you been ??

Y/N: Fine.. i guess

Kuroo: How are things with Kenma

Y/N: Tbh I don’t really know, we haven’t spoken since the weekend...two weeks ago I don’t think we’re together anymore..

Kuroo: Y/N don’t say that you and Kenma are definitley how do you spell deathfinetly? still together just meet him today at the arcade at 8pm and ALL WILL BE REVEALED 

Y/N: okay....

Kuroo: DW Y/N! It’ll all be fine

Nervous, you get changed (making sure to look extra cute because this may be the last time you’ll have the title of ‘Kenma’s Girlfriend’ :(( ) You arrive at the arcade and look around for a second before spotting Kenma at the race car game (where you had your first date) and it looks to you he is hiding something behind his back..

When you reached him he looked very shy (even more so then usual) and you were about to speak before he shouted

“Y/N!” he said cringing at the volume of his own voice “ I need to tell you something, more like show you..”

You stood before him with your arms crossed silently tapping your foot waiting on him to continue. Surprisingly, he brings in front of you a little girl who looked about 8 or 9 with a very very cute face.

“n-n-nice to meet you” she bowed in front of you a blush covering her face

“Y/N this is Ella” Kenma said “My new step-sister”

You were shocked to say the least Kenma having a new sister that was great but didn’t answer ALL your questions. Judging your facial expressions Kenma led you and him to sit down letting Ella go on play (as you obviously watch her close-by) 

“Okay, I know you’re probably confused but Ella is ma’s new boyfriends daughter and that time you came over my house was my first time ‘meeting’ her so instead of doing it physically I thought the best thing to do was to play minecraft with her and as I was so focused on that I kinda sorta forgot about our usual dates and over half term I went over to hyogo were Ella and her dad live for the break to meet them officially I’m sorry very very very sorry Y/N for not contacting you i just assumed you were mad at me ... which you still probably are now so i understand if you want to break up and i-” Kenma stops hearing you slightly chuckle looking exasperated after all that rambling. 

Thats the most you’ve ever heard Kenma speak in one go ever and you thought it was endearing that he has a new sister. Of course you were mad that your boyfriend that he neglected you for weeks but you were definitley over that and wanted to just continue on with your life with him.

Kenma stared at you expecting some form of response and all you did was stand up, go to him and pat his head. 

“You’re so cute kenma” you said “Of course I was mad, but i get it now”

“So are we still boyfr-”

“Miss Y/N” asked Ella looking up at you awww how cute “Are you and nii-chan boyfrined and girlfriend”

Kenma and Ella both stared at you expectedly waiting on your response (Kenma more than Ella)

“Of course he’s my boyfriend sweetie!” You said ruffling her head and you hear Kenma sigh in relief “Let’s go play some games now come one Kenma”

You hold Kenma’s hand as Ella runs ahead of you

“Also Kenma..” you let go of his hand “You let her play on our world..seriously”

Kenma awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and chuckles

“I’ll make it up to Y/N dont worry “ he said

And he did do that indeed, as it seems over the break he built a mansion for you and him and reset the end so you complete the ender dragon with him. But you did also include Ella in on your world now and you and her got closer to the point where she will call you nee-chan.

Authors Note: how do you feel about the ending ?

I hope this is well, I’m not that used with Kenmas character so i hope i wrote it good and you like it! Please give me comments and feedback and my request are open so send in your request please!! Also this was meant to be a part two to my ‘taking a prank too far’ but i kinda wrote this in a different direction 

[babyboibucky]

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

-

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

-

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

-

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

-

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

-

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

-

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

-

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

-

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

-

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

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[sirenascales]

-> Chuuya with a Black F!Reader who's a bit insecure because of her skin.

@furrypostsoul said: Hello admin, I hope you’re having a good day! So stoked to see a fellow bisexual bsd fan! I would politely like to request a chuuya Drabble with a black fem bisexual reader where she thought that chuuya wouldnt be interested in her romantically cause of y’know, her skin. If you could also add in scenarios where she was racially harassed in public (pls dont write this is ur not comfortable, I understand if you don’t! it’s something I want people to be aware about)

note: ahhh thank you so much for your request! i immediately had an idea as soon as I saw it and I believe I came up with a good one, especially after asking some of my pals for advice on how to tackle it! Hope you like it!

warnings: colorism, mentions of racial fetishization, microaggresion, and racism [not from Chuuya] insecure reader, angst to fluff i promise,

"I still don't understand why it takes so long to do your hair... aren't you just getting braids?" The confused look on Chuuya's face was honestly super cute and hilarious and you couldn't help but laugh behind your hand.

"That's just the way it is, man. That's why I said we can go out on Saturday. I can't on Friday since I'll be strapped to the chair."

"Man, whatever," Chuuya huffed and you rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Don't whatever me. Just suck it up!"

You shook your head, the hustle and bustle of the shopping district around you fading as you looked to your companion. Red hair, blue eyes, fancy clothes and a dumb hat; Chuuya was honestly too handsome, too damn fine. The scowl on his face was cute and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks. You knew he would literally kill you for that, and you valued your life.

You and Chuuya were in that talking stage and finally decided to go out on your first official date on Saturday. Besides his... occupation, you found yourself very much liking the man. Not just for his looks, but his fiery personality made him interesting, the way he carried himself. He was great and you were so into him.

You hoped he felt the same way. He had to, he agreed to the date in the first place! And how could he not? You were a sight, rich brown skin and he sorta, kinda, absolutely loved the cute afro puffs you had on your head. You were beautiful, a bright spirit with a bit of an edge that Chuuya definitely liked.

After talking some more, Chuuya had to go off to do his own thing, and after sharing a very tight hug, you waved him farewell, promising to see him on Saturday for your first date.

You couldn't help the huge, happy grin on your face, giddy as you made your way over to a nearby bench, sitting next to an older woman. You paid her no mind, grabbing your phone to text your friend as you giggled to yourself.

"Was that your boyfriend?" the woman suddenly inquired and you blinked at her in surprise. Then, your face started to heat up and you laughed lightly.

"Well, not yet. We're just dating."

"Ah..." the woman trailed off and you didn't like the tone of her voice. Suddenly feeling awkward, you turned back to your phone.

"I don't mean to be rude," the woman started and you couldn't help the sense of dread you felt. Here we go again. "But you should be careful, dear. You're a beautiful woman but... Japanese men don't really like dark skin. Not unless they are with you for... ulterior motives."

Even if you were already expecting some foolishness, the woman's words still stunned you, striking you to your core as you gave her a look that exceeded shock. You were appalled, your chest tightening in anger and hurt. You took in a slow deep breath, your fists clenching tightly. Your body had gone numb, and you tried your best to keep it cool. You couldn't make a scene.

"Wow," you laughed softly, shaking your head as you stood up. You didn't pay that stupid bitch any mind, storming away, your anger just boiling.

Not only did that woman ruin your entire day, she honestly ruined your entire week. The anger had soon subsided and you were left with the insecurities you tried to push down, especially when it came to Chuuya. Your mind ran at one hundred miles per hour, overthinking as the cruel words lingered in your mind.

Was Chuuya another one? Like your last relationship, were you just a sexual conquest for someone just wanting to try having sex with a Black girl? That was what your ex-girlfriend did to you, so was this just the same? Did he even like you?

No. Chuuya wouldn't do that.

Even so, you canceled your date with him as you sat in the stylist's chair on Friday, eyes burning with tears. You didn't want to experience that again, so you figured you give it all up before you get hurt again. Or even worse.

After spending day getting your hair done, you gotten a quick bite to eat before heading home, feeling completely dejected. Your hair looked amazing, long box braids swaying as you trudged along. But Chuuya didn't answer your text at all, and that honestly made you feel even more like shit. Did he not care at all?

You sighed deeply, coming up on your apartment, stopping when you saw a very familiar red motorcycle parked along the sidewalk. Your heart skipped a beat when you spotted Chuuya leaning against his bike, and when he finally noticed you, your heart dropped when he yelled your name.

"Oi!" he hollered, stomping over to you angrily. "What the hell do you mean our date is canceled?!"

"I-" you were at a loss for words. "Why are you here?"

"I was waiting for you! I didn't know where you were getting your hair done so I just stood here."

"Th-the whole day?! Chuuya!"

"I mean, I went and got food and stuff but-"

"That's not the point!" you interrupted. "Why would you even bother?"

Chuuya scoffed. "Are you serious? You suddenly cancel our date and you expect me not to worry about you?" As he finished talking, Chuuya is shocked to find tears pooling in your eyes, your lips trembling as you hung your head. "H-hey, what the hell happened?"

"You don't just want to fuck me, right?"

Now Chuuya was at a loss for words, his jaw hanging open as he registered your ridiculous words. You spoke again, telling him about the things that woman said to you earlier that week, as well as the horrible experience you had with your ex-girlfriend.

"... I tried not to think too much about it but... I'm used to comments about my skin and race, I mean, hello! I'm Black, but... " you trailed off, lifting your hands up to wipe your tears away. Chuuya beat you to it, and you stared at him with teary eyes as he gently wiped your tears away.

"I'm not your ex-girlfriend." Chuuya was firm as he spoke. "And that old hag needs to mind her own fucking business. I fucking like you. Not because of some weird sexual thing, I actually fucking like you. The whole you. You're beautiful and smart, you keep me on my toes. And yes, your skin and hair are amazing, I love them, but those are only parts of you that I find amazing. I'm not giving you my love and attention because I want something from you, I'm giving it because you deserve it. And I want to be the one who gives it to you."

You didn't know what to say, what to do. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, your mouth going dry. Still, after a moment you just end up punching Chuuya lightly on his chest, choking out a laugh while you cried.

"Shut up... all that sappy shit..."

Chuuya scoffed, lowkey offended. "Excuse me? I basically just confessed to you."

"Yeah..." you sniffed, looking and giving the man a watery smile. "You did. I..." Lips trembling again, you took a step forward and Chuuya wasted no time in pulling you in for a hug.

"And you better accept me or else I will kick your ass," Chuuya said, pressing his face against your hair. "You smell nice..."

"Hm."

"And you're perfect. Worth more than an experimental fuck and the words of some old bitch." There was a bite to Chuuya's words, and that made you feel so much better.

"I'm sorry for doubting you..." you whispered and Chuuya shook his head, pulling away from the hug.

"Don't be. I understand, I promise."

You smiled widely, face getting hot as he gently cupped your cheek. "Are you sure?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Fine, you can make it up to me by un-cancelling our date. Let me show you off."

You giggled softly, hugging him again. "Okay. That's fair."

Send in your requests!

[bonny-kookoo]

Hangang River Bride (OT7 x Reader) 🐾☁️💜🔞 Chapter 2: Dog Teeth

🍁Pairing: OT7 x Hybrid!Reader

🍁Genre: hybrid AU!, mild angst, fluff, romance, smut

🍁Warnings: fluff!!, clingy Jimin 🥺, playfighting, cursing, minor injury (Little fox burns her hand), protective Jungkook!, a lot of cuddling, suggestive themes, kissing, heavy making out, alpha!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, knotting, threesome, two to be exact, or is it more like a six-some I dont know okay, big dick! Gang Koo & Tae but wbk, Sweet aftercare, naked cuddling, biting, marking, can someone get me a guy like Namjoon pls, pack dynamics, Yoongis tongue technology, so much soft love gestures like nuzzling and Eskimo kissing and pls don’t touch me this was a wild ride okay-

🍁Summary: after slowly settling down, little Fox slowly gets used to living with the bunch. It’s safe to say that she’s never experienced so much happiness in one place; and sometimes that can get quite overwhelming. And also, she's far from done with experiencing new things; there's so much more for her to explore. Good thing she had more than enough help to teach her the proper way of living- and loving.

Chapter 1 (summary of past events) || Chapter 2: Dog Teeth || ???

Again, major warning for mobile users: The wordcount on this one is a bit over 7.3K words.

It had been a while since you officially moved in with them.

Slowly but surely, you got more and more comfortable with the different personalities of everyone around you, at first a bit overwhelmed with all of the energy and sometimes chaos- after all, all you had known was order and discipline. Yet it felt like this was an actual family, a pack of some sorts; it made you feel safe and warm. Every time everyone was home, it was like everything was complete as well.

Even Namjoon and Seokjin, who you'd admitted to being quite wary off since they were human, had somehow managed to win your little heart along the way.

But what exactly were you all?

You sometimes caught Jimin stealing a kiss or two from Yoongi, who'd never been shy about it at all, yet he also never truly admitted to anything romantic going on between them. Asking any of your owners was useless as well, since Seokjin had just laughed his signature squeaky laugh at you when you'd asked. He'd simply pat your head, telling you to find that out yourself- and you were frustrated ever since. You couldn't just go out and ask them all if there was some sort of relationship going on, that would be way too intruding! After all, you were still the last one to join the dynamic, the lowest in rank if you will. Your entire nature didn't allow you to simply outright ask for what the hierarchy was; it was normal for foxes to find out themselves by simply observing.

Yet that was the issue.

Jungkook was clearly an alpha male, yet he never showed true intentions of actually dominating anyone in a sense of taking leadership. Sure, he was very much dominant in getting what he wanted, yet he never truly used that to his own advantage- for example, he always made sure Jimin got his food first, which, for a very short period of time, made you believe that maybe he was the top dog. Yet then you saw how Yoongi always changed the entire dynamic of everyone's behavior as soon as he'd step inside the room- making you wonder if he was the highest. But that all changed yet again when Seokjin playfully lectured him one time for cutting him off mid sentence. Both humans may stayed oblivious, but you could see his ears tilt back a bit in shame.

So what was true now?

It all didn't make sense at all. How were you supposed to find out your place if you didn't even know what everyone else's was? It confused you to no ends, leading to the situation you were in now; frustrated and sulky inside your room, covered under soft blankets as if to shield you away from the group until you'd finally figured it out. A knock pulled you out of your thoughts, as you could hear a voice soon after.

"Y/n? I called for dinner but- what are you doing?" Seokjin asked with a slight chuckle, sitting down next to the lump of fabric he suspected you under. His hand lifted a part of the blanket a bit, revealing one of your ears and your face to him. "Why are you hiding sweetheart?" He asked gently, scratching behind your ear as he began to look a bit worried.

"I can't figure it out." You huffed, sitting up and looking at the broad shouldered man with a desperate look in your eyes. "You said I should but I can't- none of it makes sense!" You whined, making him smile and deflate a bit as he finally noticed what the issue was. He sighed.

"What did I tell you the first day you were here?" He gently asked, running his fingers over the velvety smooth fur on your ears, chuckling as they snapped back and forth from the tickling feeling.

"You said you're all equal.." You answered, yet it didn't truly satisfy you at all. There were five hybrids in one household, six now with you counted in, there had to be some sort of balance. "But how.. Jungkookie is an alpha but he never eats first.. Jiminie is too soft to be a top dog, and Yoongi always puts himself lower in rank when you're there.." You queried, genuinely feeling your head throb at that.

"Well, you answered your question though." He said, and you tilted your head to the side, not understanding his statement at all. "It all depends who is with who." He said, sitting down a bit more comfortably before patting his legs, inviting you to climb out of your makeshift den and to sit on his lap, which you happily did. "If I'm not there, but Namjoon is, Namjoon is in charge of everything. If he's not there either, Yoongi is. And if he's not there-" He said, smiling at you, "then Taehyung is." He said, and your eyes widened. Sweet and jumpy Taetae? Jin seemed to almost hear your thoughts as he grinned. "Taehyung had quite a problem with his dominance when he first got here. I know it doesn't seem like it, but he's quite demanding at times, forgetting that this household isn't solely his. He's a bit overprotective, you could say." He explained, making you nod your head. It did make sense why you never noticed him bei like that- after all, you hadn't left the house much, and if so, always with someone at your side, never alone. You basically knew no one apart from them. "Jungkookie is a special case you could say. He can dominate any situation at any time, but he chooses not to willingly." He clarified to your now absolutely interested gaze. "He doesn't want to mess with the dynamic too much, and keeps himself in check most of the time. That doesn't mean he won't get into fights with someone- he and Jimin fought a lot when Jungkook first got here. It was a mess, really." He remembered, making you furrow your brows a bit. But jimin was so sweet and soft? "Jiminie was used to being a bit.. pampered you could say. He was looking forward to finally not being the lowest one, so he tried to get Jungkook to fill that role. It didn't work, obviously." He stated, and you nodded. "You could say, Jimin is above you now, which is why he got so emotional when you left back then. He's not a dominant character, but he hates being reminded of that." You flopped against Seokjins chest, making him huff out a breath as he grinned. Your head turned towards the door as you noticed Namjoon. How long had he been standing there?

"Don't be too upset though." He simply said, walking closer until he sat down on the side of the bed, hand reassuringly running over your back, making you purr against Jin's chest. "Since you're a female, I highly doubt anyone will treat you as a true lowest. They all simply want to keep you safe, which by the way, isn't exclusive to them." He said, looking at Jin with fondness as he nodded. "Everyone wants that." He stated, and you attempted to say something, before you heard feet running over the floor, someone sprinting up the stairway as well.

"Hyung no, thats unfair!" Taehyung exclaimed with a loud whine, bursting into the room and jumping on top of the mattress, hugging you from the side and rubbing his nose against your neck in an attempt to scent you- even though that was really not necessary. Now that you knew about him more after what Jin had told you, you could actually see it more clearly. He was claiming you even though Seokjin and Namjoon were way too close to make it useful for him to do so, yet he did it anyways as if to prove a point. Namjoon gently tugged on his ear, a small reminder for the hybrid to tone it down and not get carried away with his antics.

"Hey, we're waiting downstairs to start eating while you guys have a comfy cuddling session?" Jimin exclaimed scandalized, making you laugh into the white shirt of Jin.

"What happened?" Hoseok asked frantically as he bursted into the kitchen after hearing you yelp. You instinctively hid your hand behind your back as he offered his own, waiting until your showed him your hand, fingers a bit red as you had accidentally touched a hot plate in the microwave. He cooed at you, leading you towards the sink where he gently let cold water run over them to soothe the pain a bit. "Better?" He asked, as you nodded, smiling at him again. "Good!" He exclaimed, leaning down to give you an eskimo kiss, making you giggle.

He loved these moments.

At first, you'd been a bit intimitated by his sheer endless energy, worse than Taehyung as he would at least calm down after a bit. Hoseok was always energized it seemed, randomly singing or underlining his actions with cute sound effects here and there. This was him, and you slowly learned to simply adore these things instead of questioning them; after all, you really loved him, and he'd been nothing but sweet to you. He was an absolute ray of sunshine.

It inspired you.

You learned from him to slowly come out of your shell, getting more bold and brave in your actions, even sometimes playfully fighting with Jimin over food- a fight he'd always let you win, even though he was higher in rank than you, and typically always ate first. It didn't matter however, as everyone adored you too much to deny you anything.

Hoseok loved holding you like this, simply having you close and breathing in your scent as he thought about absolutely nothing. He didn't need to, because as long as everyone was in one place, everyone was happy as well, and that instead made him happy. It was as if it was an energy exchange, as he always diffused situations and lightened the mood, his own batteries would charge the most effectively whenever everyone had fun.

This was how it was supposed to be.

"I'm gonna get you!" He exclaimed with a playful growl, before you sprinted away from him, knowing that you couldn't outrun him- but this wasn't a true chase, it was a playful game, something that you have had to learn. It was now a regular thing with everyone around the house; sometimes even Yoongi would join in, yet that was pretty rare. Taehyung and you however bantered quite a lot, usually ending up cuddled together after getting told to stop before you could break anything.

"Careful-!" Namjoon yelled, yet Seokjin simply put a reassuring hand on the shoulder of his husband, turning his attention back towards his cooking. "Those two.." He sighed, trying to not slice his fingers as he began to attempt to chop a carrot under Jins surveilance.

"They'll be fine. Y/N is way more confident these days, she'll tell him if things go too far." He said, and Namjoon nodded. He'd noticed that shift in your behavior as well, a special change which made him incredibly happy. It meant that you had truly accepted everyone and your own place, feeling comfortable enough to sometimes even challenge Jungkook- even though it was never truly meant seriously. He had been worried at first on what could happen if that ever was to occur, yet the wolf hybrid had surprised him entirely, by simply letting you jump on his back at random times, and even letting you win in tickle fights sometimes, even though he was clearly stronger than you were. He was so gentle with you that it made him feel absolutely comfortable leaving the house to his hybrids whenever he had to go to work and Jin couldn't stay home either.

"Gotcha!" Taehyung barked out, as he spotted you hiding behind the couch, playfully throwing himself over your form as he nipped at your neck.

What happened next however, caught him completely off guard.

He could suddenly feel your behind pressing upwards- straight into his pelvis, as your tail flopped to the side, front dipping low. You had seemingly misunderstood his actions entirely by the way you suddenly presented yourself- or it was simply out of instinct. After all, Taehyung was a domestic breed; he didn't understood nor felt his hybrid animal instincts as much as you or Jungkook did. However, with something as absolutely obvious as this gesture, even he felt himself pick up the pace of his breathing, skin suddenly feeling clammy. He'd never thought about you in this way- sure, you were absolutely pretty, but he'd been so concerned over your past that he'd never quite seen you as a potential partner.

"Yah, could you not do that in the living room you two?" Seokjin yelled, spotting the two of you. "Also stop dominating her Taehyung, you know this!" He said, getting closer to him. Yet he stopped in his tracks at what happened next.

Taehyung actually growled at him.

Namjoon, hearing the words, came into the living room soon after, instantly pulling Seokjin back by his shoulder as if to warn him. The way they could see Tae's eyes watch them warily, and the fact that he now held you firmly, canines holding your neck in a possessive way making your ears tilt back flat against your skull.

He'd fallen into a feral state.

The only reassuring thing was that you seemingly had no fear towards him, just pure submission, which did ensure your safety in this very high-risk situation you had found yourself in. Taehyung was way taller and stronger than you, so you fighting against his hold could end with injury- even if Tae was a sweet young man. In this state of mind he wasn't to be messed with, even if he was only a domestic breed. Yoongi came inside the living room after hearing the commotion, eyes widening at the scene. He immediately turned around, Pushing Jungkook inside the nearest room- which was the guest bathroom in that case, before the wolf could react any further.

This was bad.

Seokjin however, held nothing back, shaking his husbands hand off as he went closer to the two of you, not backing away or getting intimitated in any way, not even as Taehyungs growls got louder, Namjoon getting more and more nervous. Jin however, held his ground, grabbing the younger hybrid by the hood of his shirt as he pulled him off of you, pulling him to the ground. It may seemed awful what he was doing, as he held him down to the ground by his neck, yet this was necessary to make him snap out of it. Your eyes widened at the dog hybrid down on the ground with the elder holding him firmly by his neck, knee positioned on his back to keep him where he was. You jumped up, running upstairs as you shut your door, burying yourself under your blankets. This was your fault.

And you felt horrible.

"Taehyung, do you know why I did that?" Seokjin asked gently as he ran his hand through the hybrids hair, now sprawled over the elders lap on the couch. Namjoon had opened windows to get rid of the stuffy air, while Yoongi talked to Jungkook, calming him down and reassuring him that nothing had happened, and no one was hurt. As a predator he was way more sensitive to shifts in a situation like that, so it took a while, but he eventually became calm. Taehyung was back as well, now a bit teary eyed as he held onto a pillow, his very sudden adventure into a feral state leaving him vulnerable. It was normal, Namjoon said. He would get over it in an hour or two, as soon as his pheromones were back to normal again.

"I know- I know and I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to I-" He stammered, holding onto the pillow even tighter as he remembered what had happened. "I don't even know why I-" He said, and Namjoon squatted down in front of the couch, scratching the boys ears as Jungkook emerged from the bathroom, a bit on edge yet visibly calm enough to walk into the room and not bite the head off his elder packmate.

"Well I know." He simply said, sitting down a bit further away, back against the cold glass door that led to the front porch. "She was presenting, it was normal that you did what you did." He explained, and Yoongi nodded as well as he stood near the sofa, watching Taehyung.

The cat hybrid sighed. "I don't mean to you know, sound like a pervert or anything, but it's bound to happen at some point." He said, explaining further as Seokjin and Namjoon looked at him questioningly. "She's a female, she's submissive, and due to her species she compliments both canine and feline hybrids." He clarified, Namjoon nodding. "It doesn't matter if we all take surpressants or not; as long as she doesn't undergo some procedure to prevent her from being able to get pregnant, we're all walking on eggshells." He stated, making Namjoon furrow his brows.

"But that doesn't make sense." He disagreed. "She's a completely different species. There is no way for her to get pregnant in the first place." He argued, making Jungkook nod this time as he chimed in.

"Thats true." He said, before looking at Tae. "But that doesn't mean she won't smell ready." He clarified, and Seokjin became more serious, making Taehyung sit up now. "So, to make it clearer; just because we can't knock her up, doesn't mean we won't try." He said, making Yoongi snort a bit at the way he phrased his sentence. That diffused the situation a bit, making everyone less tense.

"I'm gonna go to Y/N now.. I-" He said, slowly getting up. "I need to apologize. She's probably feeling super bad right now." He said, and Namjoon nodded, against the very concerned face of seokjin. The elder however didn't say anything, trusting his partner that he knew what he was doing. He had more knowledge after all.

"So what does that mean?" Jin asked, now a bit torn. Could this mean they had to give you up?

Namjoon sat down now. "It means we'll have to see. If she doesn't want to be intimate with anyone, we'll ask her about a procedure to be done. If she doesn't want that either, we'll simply have to adjust. We can't simply give her away anymore, with how much she's bonded already." He said, and Jungkook nodded.

"There's another issue though." Yoongi grumbled, as he sat down next to Jungkook. "You can't just try and fool me by saying you aren't attracted to her in a romantic sense. Lets face it;" He offered, letting his head rest against the cool glass behind him. "We're all whipped for her."

Everyone was silent for a moment, before Namjoon sighed. "We can't force her to love any of us. After all it took us all enough time to settle down our feelings with each other as we were, and that never involved intimacy apart from Yoongi and Jimin, and me and Seokjin." He said, and everyone agreed.

This was a mess.

"Y/N?" Taehyung timidly asked, knocking at your door softly when he couldn't spot you. He saw some movement underneath the amount of blankets piled up on your bed, making him sigh. He went closer, sitting down as he let his chin rest on the mattress, hand reaching out. "I'm sorry for what happened, I didn't.. I don't know why I did that." He mumbled, and suddenly a small hand emerged out from the blankets, searching a bit on the surface before finally finding his, holding it. He smiled gently, unfolding some blankets to finally meet your eyes; thankfully not scared, but hesitant nonetheless.

"I don't know why I did that either, I.." You mumbled, now sitting up and playing with his hand. "And you got in trouble because of me." You apologized, gaze falling downwards in shame. "m' sorry.." You said, as he shook his head, climbing onto the bed to sit, his hand running over your head a few times.

"No, it's alright, we were both kinda out of it." He said, and you looked towards Jungkook and Yoongi entering the room, body suddenly curling up and trying to appear smaller as they came closer.

"It's alright sweetheart, no need to back down." Yoongi said, walking closer and sitting down next to tae, leaving Jungkook to simply pick you up and settling you onto his lap, tail softly swaying from side to side in fondness at your body being so close to him. "But I think its best to talk about it." The eldest in the room said, looking at you. He felt a weird sense of comfort seeing you in Jungkooks arms, as if you were right where you were supposed to be. He shouldn't quite feel that way, considering his actual romantic interest in you, yet it somehow didn't feel wrong- there was no envy whatsoever.

"Do you like us?" Jungkook questioned, voice rumbling in his chest against your back, making you shudder a bit. The question was absolutely out of the blue and so unexpected that you had to collect your thoughts a bit before answering with a yes. Of course you did, after all, they were your family- you trusted them with your life with both eyes closed. Taehyung however shook his head, as Jungkook asked again, this time, a little differently. "No, not like that. Do you like us, as in, love?" He asked, and again, you nodded.

Yoongi sighed from his spot, crossing his arms with a flick of his ear, showing his irritation. "Jungkook is being shy again." He said, making the wolf look at him with an absolute scandalized expression you couldn't see, but it did make Tae laugh, so it must've been hilarious to see. "Let's phrase it like that." He said, crawling a bit closer to you as you swallowed. Yoongi had always had this charm to him- his feline eyes had always made you feel weak. "If, let's say, Taehyung would kiss you-" He asked, making yours and said dog hybrids eyes widen. "What would you do? Or better- what would you feel?" He asked, making your skin suddenly feel all tingly.

Those were thoughts solely kept to yourself. You surely had wondered what it would be like to feel them in a more romantic sense of skinship, of course, but you respected the boundaries too much as to ever let it go from a simple daydream to more. And now Yoongi sat in front of you, all serious, and asked you.. this? What in the hell were you supposed to answer? "I'd.. I- don't know.." You said, and Yoongi hummed, sensing your nervousness.

"Then what if we tried it?" He said, making you almost stop breathing. "Not him, but let's say, me." He offered, making Taehyungs ear fall a bit, yet he understood why he was changing the person of interest now. Even though he was calm again, there was still a high risk that he could fall back again, and with Jungkook in the room, that could end horrible. "Only a peck, alright?" He asked, and you nodded- maybe a bit too enthusiastically, as Jungkook chuckled behind you, and the cat hybrid in front of you smirked.

It all went so fast.

His lips were suddenly on yours, molding perfectly in your opinion, before pulling away, giving you no time to really think about it. It was short, way too short, yet it only ignited something inside you you'd held captive for so long. You whined, ears flattening against your head as your head chased after him, making Jungkook hold his hand against your chest, holding you back. "No, I said just a peck, not more." Yoongi said, making you pout in defeat. "So?" He asked, and you scoffed.

"I wanna go again." You argued. "That was too short, I wanna go again-" You said, before Taehyung placed a kiss just barely on the corner of your lips, making you squeak. "Nooo, Tae that's not fair, now I-" You whined, before Jungkooks hand found its way underneath your chin, making you tilt your head and body a bit to allow his lips to fall against yours as well, just for a short moment, before pulling away. You growled, and it made everyone coo- since it sounded nothing but cute to them, considering you didn't mean it seriously whatsoever. "How can I concentrate now?!" You complaint, as Yoongi pulled your attention towards him again.

"So, you want to kiss all of us now?" He asked, and you nodded, before turning red, and trying to undo that statement. "No darling, you don't get to take that back. We don't mind that, it actually makes us really happy." He said, genuinely smiling at you as you could spot his sharp canines, gummy smile now blinding you. He rarely ever smiled this widely. Taehyung chimed in, now excited as ever as his tail thumped on the mattress beneath him in a fast pace.

"What about Jiminie? Or Hobi?? Or Namjoon and Jin?" He asked, and you shrunk down in Jungkooks lap with a red face, simply nodding as Taehyung smiled brightly at Jungkook, who chuckled. "Hyung, hyung, she loves us!" He exclaimed as if Yoongi hadn't heard nor seen any of it, his tail going a mile a minute as Yoongi laughed, shoving the hyperactive hybrid off of him with a grin.

"Who loves who?" Jimins voice asked from the doorway, making Taehyung jump up and cling onto the cat hybrid, grinning at Hoseok and their two owners behind him with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Y/N loves us all!"

Things continued actually quite normally, apart from the fact that everyone- including the two humans- got way more touchy than they used to be. Kisses were shared, some more in secret while others were placed with purpose, showing open affection and or to tease you. You didn't mind at all- it made you feel special, and loved.

Sometimes however, kisses would turn warmer than usual, more needing, and leaving doors to uncharted territory opened for you. It wasn't like you were a virgin by any means- yet you never truly tied sex to romance at all. For you, those things were two entirely different things, one of them making you feel good, and the other simply necessary act to try and produce offspring. So you were a bit surprised when Taehyungs kisses got a bit more demanding, his hands wandering underneath your soft cotton sweater, roaming over the skin underneath. Why was he being so.. delicate? If he wanted to take you, why be so unsure with it? "Hm, I love you.." He hummed in between kisses, making you smile a bit. He chuckled before slightly lifting the piece of clothing, as if asking for permission. You seemed confused. "Do you.. not want me to.?" He silently asked, making your eyes widen a bit.

"Why do you ask?" You wondered, making him detach himself a bit from you, eyes now a bit glazed as if hurt. You were confused.

"I do but-" He said, voice a bit strained as he realized what your confusion could be a sign for. "Sweetheart I don't want to do it just because I want to. I want you to want me too." He said, and you still tilted your head, unsure what he meant. You couldn't give him any pups whatsoever, so why would it be something you would want as well? "Have you ever, you know.. made love before?" He asked, now confused as well.

"Made..love? Wait, is that what you guys call sex?" You bluntly said, and Jungkook stopped in his tracks as he walked past your room, now peaking inside, curious what you were talking about. "Hello Kookie!" You waved, happy smile on your face as Taehyung couldn't tear his eyes away from you, deep in thought.

"Hello love." The wolf greeted, walking closer and patting your head, tapping Taehyungs back a bit. "You okay?" He asked the older one, who suddenly looked at Jungkook with eyes holding somewhat of a helpless glint in them. "What're you guys up to?" He asked, trying not to get too concerned for now.

"Taehyung asked me if I ever made love, but I don't know.. how do you make that?" You asked Jungkook, who's eyes only softened at that, understanding more deeply than the dog hybrid did. He came from a place similar to you, still sure he'd seen you before in the halls back then. He knew what female hybrids were typically used for, yet until now he'd hoped you were one of the few who'd escaped before it could happen. But if you were that clueless, then he was wrong- meaning that you had already been 'taught' what intimacy was.

It had been confusing for Jungkook as well at first, when he'd noticed Yoongi and Jimin emerging out of their room one day, way more clingier towards the other than usual. It didn't make sense why two male hybrids would ever want to be together in that sense, considering there was no actual use of it. There was absolutely no way that offspring would occur, so what was the point? He'd had a long talk with everyone back then, as they explained to him that no, sex didn't need a purpose other than showing another one that you deeply cared for them. It was not just a way to reproduce, but to also feel close to someone else in the most pleasurable and intimate of ways, and Jungkook had to really get used to that concept for a while, before eventually finding the sense of logic behind it.

It seemed the same with you.

"Look, little fox.." He hummed, sitting down close to you as he combed through your hair with his fingers. "I know what they probably taught you about all this. Please forget everything about that, okay?" He said, and you looked at him confused. "Your purpose is more than just getting bred, alright? You're more than your body, and you're more than just a pet." He stated, making your eyes glaze over the same way as Taehyungs had done.

Said dog hybrid nodded, before hugging you close, licking over your ear as if to console you as he noticed your scent shift. "H-how do you.. make love then?" You asked timidly, now curious but also too hesitant to take any initiative. You felt so open and exposed, you felt as if the only way to mend you back together was with the gentle touch of those two lovers of yours, who had such a delicate way of touching you. "Can you.. show me?" You asked, and Taehyung wanted to disagree, telling you that you should wait until you're ready, but Jungkook simply nodded.

This was difficult, because you would never know when you'd be ready. Right now you were vulnerable and at the same time sensitive to everything around you, making it the perfect moment to exchange any bad memory you had with this kind of stuff with new, loving and warm ones made out of affection and love, not out of pure reason. "What do I have to do?" You asked, ears now alert, ready to follow whatever they'd tell you. But Tae simply shook his head, nose nuzzling the crook of your neck where your scent was strongest.

"Nothing at all sweetheart. We'll take care of you." He mused, as Jungkook gently pulled your sweater over your head, exposing your skin and underwear to both of them, making him lick his lips. He should be angry at the large hands of Taehyung which wandered over your skin, mapping out your body to for his mind as if to imprint it for himself so he could forever feel you whenever needed, yet Jungkook simply watched in absolute endearment as the size difference of the hybrid and you got more prominent, your tail now swaying from side to side, ears moving frantically as you sighed, experiencing new feelings. He should be concerned with the open door, but they were all well aware of each other's antics, so there was no need to keep anything a secret. "Hm, is that good?" The deep voice of the dog hybrid whispered almost, as you nodded your head, own hands now reaching for Jungkook who'd simply watched until now. You turned on Taehyungs lap to face the wolf, as the alpha leaned forwards, kissing you with a newly ignited fewer, tongue immediately exploring your mouth as you mewled, moving on Taehyungs lap as he kissed along your spine, unhooking your bra for you before he tapped your arms, making you slip out of the straps holding the underwear safe on your shoulders.

As it was dropped carelessly onto the ground, Taehyungs hands instantly moved to fondle your breasts, sighing in content at the soft feeling of them, making you squirm a bit on his lap, putting pressure on his already rapidly hardening length. Jungkooks hands turned their attention towards your shorts, pulling on them a bit more impatiently as Taehyung had done with your clothing, making you wriggle out of them, your underwear alike, making both of your lovers sigh at the view of glistening slick already dampening the fabric.

You tried to turn around, getting ready to present as Jungkook held you in place firmly, making you slip lower with an oof as your head landed in Taehyungs lap, who smiled above you. Jungkook immediately changed his position, face immediately dipping lower, as his tongue licked from your entrance up to where your center began, growling possessively at the taste and scent of it. "You're so precious, sweetheart." He hummed against you as he continued his motions, making you close your eyes at the foreign feeling of pleasure. You held onto Taehyungs arm as his other made sure to give your chest enough attention, eyes full of adornment as he watched you cling onto him in pure bliss, hips moving in a rhythm only you seemed to feel. You began to huff suddenly, getting more sensitive as Jungkook stopped, moving to get rid of his clothing as well, nodding towards his friend to do the same, as they began to both shed until they were bare, Taehyung now taking charge as he crawled over you, Jungkook taking your hands as you reached for the dog hybrids length, ready to please him. "No, this is about you." He gently said, making Tae nod as he held himself in his palm, running his head over your slick entrance before entering you, making you take in a sharp breath, before your eyes glazed over. "Are you okay?" the wolf asked a bit concerned at your reaction, making the dog hybrid stop for a moment.

Were you okay? You were more than that, you were overwhelmed with the feelings that shot through you. You felt so loved, so comforted, so complete that it made your eyes water, making you cry in happiness as you sniffled, nodding your head to console both of them. "I'm just.." You began, voice a bit croaky. "I feel so happy." You said, making both of them coo at you, as the dark haired hybrid wiped away your tears, kissing your forehead, then your cheek, then the tip of your nose as Taehyung began to move, slowly, without any goal in mind. "Tae-" You chanted, making him chuckle as you whined at the teasing tone of if, as he licked at your neck, mouthing at the sensitive spot there, while your hands kept seeking contact with Jungkook, who's heart swelled at the gesture. "Hng.." You hummed, as Taehyung slipped out of you, palming himself towards his release, before switching spots with Jungkook, who was quick to fill you again, his pace much more aggressive, yet not less filled with love. "Want-" You began, getting interrupted by your own moan as Taehyung ran his hands over your shoulders, giving you a silent reminder that he was still there, as he nipped at your ear playfully. "Want you knot-" You whined out, and Jungkook growled along with Tae at the pleading tone of your voice.

"You want my knot little fox?" Jungkook queried, a hint of teasing color to his tone as you nodded, back arching so enticingly as you came closer to your own release. "Hm, you sure you can take it sweetheart?" He asked, picking up his pace as he felt his end approach. "Want me to fill you up? Hm?" He asked, and again, you nodded, craving him, slowly understanding what he'd meant with feeling close. You felt so safe, so protected, so utterly loved and adored that you could've sworn you were able to fly, able to grow wings and reach for the heavens without any boundaries. He grunted out a curse as he dipped down, biting the unoccupied side of your neck hard, yet not hard enough to truly hurt you long-term. His hips stuttered as he felt himself swell up, making you mewl out as you felt him inside you, locking himself safe as his warm cum spurted out, filling you up with its warmth. Taehyungs hand reached between your bodies as he noticed your frustration but tries to keep quiet over the fact that you were so close- yet unable to come. You violently breathed out as his fingers reached your pearl, using your slick to run over it a few times, making you finally tumble over the edge, your walls clenching as Jungkook breathed deeply, the feeling making him a bit oversensitive as he let you both fall to the side, careful to keep you close as to not hurt you with himself still locked inside you. Taehyung laid down close to your back, making it possible for you to rest against his chest comfortably without fearing to tug on Jungkooks knot.

The simple feeling of skin against skin, the way both of them groomed you with outmost care, and how they both had you in their middle, shielded from the world, made you purr out in happiness, breathing in your now mixed scents.

It smelled like home.

"Seems like you guys had fun." Yoongi grumbled from his spot leaned on the doorframe as Jungkook still held you, and Taehyung continued to sleep as he buried his head into your neck. "You good there, little fox?" He asked amused, as he saw your head emerge from between both males, happiness clear on your cheeks as they were still a bit red, your hair a bit unruled. He smiled at you, before Jimin stepped inside.

"I want to cuddle as well.." He carefully asked, unsure if both would really want him close. Taehyung giggled and patted the bed behind him, as Jimin jumped in, making you all giggle as the carefree situation shifted when Jungkook sighed, his knot having gone down enough to finally have him slip out of you, his cum seeping out, still warm from how you safely kept it inside. Yoongis pupils contracted, sharply locking his gaze on the scene as he felt the need to claim you as well grow inside of him. He stepped forwards, kneeling down as he pulled on your legs, making your body slide towards him as his hand ran over the mess you unintentionally made, before placing his tongue onto your bundle of nerves, tasting not only you but also his two packmates on you, making him smile. You squirmed a bit at the feeling, entirely different from Jungkook or Taehyung, as Yoongis tongue was naturally a bit rougher due to his feline nature.

He hummed, a bit teasingly still. "Hm, Tae and Kookie been eating good as well, it seems?" He wondered, as you slowly grew red around your cheeks. "How about I'll show you how to really enjoy a meal, yeah?" He stated, and you simply whined as he dove back in again, this time a bit more demanding, a bit more dominant as he held your legs open for him, Jimin now crawling over, watching the ordeal with his own eyes darkly on your pleasure- drowned face. Taehyung moved to the side a bit as he made space for the feline hybrid to take his place next to you, watching Yoongi eat you out like a starved man, exactly knowing how to push your buttons by instinct. Jimin turned your back towards him, pulling you close towards his chest as he laid on his side, having already gotten rid of his clothes simply because the majority of you didn't wear any as well, and he craved a more intimate skinship with you either way. He was a clingy lover, always trying to keep the people dear to him close, needing physical touch as a form of confirmation that he was loved. It was logical, in a sense; as a male calico cat he was said to be weird and unnatural as they rarely ever occured in cat hybrids. He was everything but that, but it had taken a bit to boost his confidence to a more normal level.

"Hyung's really good, isn't he?" He whispered into your ear, voice lower than you'd ever heard it being, making you arch into his body as he carefully led his length towards your entrance, slipping in with ease as Yoongi momentarily stopped, watching as the younger one filled you up so perfectly, making him palm himself in his sweatpants, painfully hard at this point. "What do you think, little fox.." Jimin wondered as he spotted the older one on the ground. "Think you can help Yoongi?" You nodded, already reaching out to him as Jungkook moved tiredly to the side, Yoongi sitting on his knees close to you, your hand already finding his cock, soft hands moving with gentle motions, inexperienced yet oh so pleasurable, simply because it was you. He felt his precum smear over your hand as you looked at him with such warm eyes, full of bliss and happiness, as he grunted, leaning down to kiss you hungrily, making your movements falter a bit before you resumed, now a bit more confident as he sighed into the kiss, breathing a bit heavier as he struggled to shed his pants and underwear, finally joining the rest in ridding himself of his clothes, room way too stuffy and hot anyways to keep them on. Jungkook and Taehyung simply watched from the sides, enjoying the show as Yoongi spilled into your hands, catching his breath for a moment until Jimin bit into your neck, teeth a bit sharper than Jungkooks and therefore leaving more distinctive marks as he stalled, cum spurting inside you as you came as well, with yoongi rapidly rubbing over your lower lips, making you yell out silently, reaching for yoongis hand to push him away in oversensitivity as Jimin pulled himself out of you, cum slowly dripping down.

"What a mess.." Yoongi mused, moving to stand up, yet Jungkook suddenly held him from behind, cuddling up to the older one as he made him lay down with you, everyone suddenly needing to be close again.

"Just sleep, hyung. We can clean up later." He grumbled into the older ones neck, grooming him respectfully as Jimin still held you close, Taehyung behind him as well.

"Hyung." Namjoon hushed, catching the older one's attention as he pointed inside Taehyungs and Jungkooks shared room. "I think the issue solved itself." He whispered, making Seokjin smile.

Yes, maybe it really did solve itself.

[quokkacore]

GREED: moonlight [oh sehün] (m)

part I of all your gods are fake

summary: sehün craves control. he craves power. he craves and craves and you give your all to satisfy him. you give, and give, and give. but will it ever be enough?

pairing: cultleader!sehün x fem reader

genre: smut, light angst, light fluff

warnings: language, descriptions of cults, graphic descriptions of sex, unprotected sex (dont be a fool wrap ur tool), spanking, sir kink, orgasm denial, french kissing

song rec: jonghyun - moon ♡ bleachers & sia - like a river runs ♡ arctic monkeys - all my own stunts

word count: 4.3k

a/n: this was originally posted to my old blog on november 16th, 2019.

masterlist

You were in your bedroom when he came to you. This, you found strange. You were perplexed when you turned to see Sehün of all people, when you heard the door open and close.

He never came to you—it was always who went to him when he summoned you to his chambers. But you’d received no summons, and yet here he was, decked in his usual red and black regalia, rings adorning his long, slim fingers, dark hair swept up away from his face.

“My Lord.” You greeted him with a bow of the head, keeping the formalities should anyone be eavesdropping. He hadn’t given you permission to address him as anything other than his official title yet, not during this visit.

Such was one of the many rules of the sect; one, if given permission by one of the Seven to address them by their earthly names, could do so only for that occasion. Upon meeting them again, they would have to address them by their official titles, the lords.

“To what do I owe the honor?”

Sehün leaned back against the door of your humble room, and crossed his arms. “I didn’t see you at the worship this evening.”

“I wasn’t feeling very well, My Lord, forgive me. Healer Choi gave me permission to sit out tonight, you may ask her if—”

“It’s alright, Y/N. You’re not in trouble. I just wanted to see you.” He took a step closer, and you swallowed the lump that had grown in your throat out of anticipation.

Having someone so powerful in such close proximity was always intimidating to you. Especially when you knew what Sehün was capable of, both in your private affair and when it came to preaching to the masses.

You’d found yourself tangled between Sehün and his bedsheets for the first time almost a year ago, when he was tipsy on wine and requested a willing girl of age with specific physical attributes in his bedroom. Young women willing to serve their Lord Greed who lived in the Sanctuary were called for, you amongst them, and the moment his eyes fell upon you, you were chosen.

Lord Envy will receive many prayers tonight, you’d thought, as the other girls eyed you with jealousy and contempt as they were escorted out of the room.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day, sweet girl,” He said, taking a step closer and snapping you back to the present. Cold blue eyes met yours, and you looked away almost immediately.

“You… thought of me,” You replied, as his hand came up to your chin, pulling it up so you were looking at him once more. He nodded, eyeing your face.

Sehün was beautiful, you realized for what seemed like the millionth time. He was scarred and mangled and terrifying but his features, up close, seemed to be flawless. Everything about him was contradictory. His scars gave him a rugged, worn look. His hands were calloused and rough.

And yet, when he walked into a room he radiated an aura of regalness. He always held his chin up high, despite the fact that he already towered over most of the people he was surrounded by anyway. When he looked down at you, it made you feel powerless and weak. It didn’t surprise you that Lady Fate had chosen him and his brothers as living incarnations of the gods.

“I did,” He murmured. His grip on your chin had tightened, but only slightly, and his face was inching closer and closer. You could feel his hot breath fanning your face, and you fiddled with the hem of your modest white dress.

His lips brushed against yours but he still hadn’t kissed you, not yet. Sehün lived to tease, he wanted you to want him, to plead and beg and cry for him to take what he knew was his, has always been his and will likely always be his. He took most of his pleasure in winding you up before taking you apart, piece by piece.

Instead of kissing you, his hands found yours, and he gripped your wrists so you couldn’t move away from him. Your heart rate began to increase at the thrill of him not wanting you to get away from him, despite the fact that if you asked, he would let you go and leave you be.

“I may be cruel, but I’m no monster. Not to you,” He’d told you the first time you denied him.

His hands forced your wrists up, and your hands found their way to his chest. He slowly forced you against the wall.

“I was worried when I didn’t see you today, so I had to come and make sure my sweet girl was alright.”

You sighed at the pet name he’d given you, the one he always called you. His lips were still resting against yours, and when he finished his sentence, his tongue darted out to swipe at your bottom lip, and you gasped at the sensation. He took advantage of this, quickly slipping his tongue into your mouth.

You knew what he liked, you’d learned so much over the times he’d taken you, and you immediately responded by meeting his tongue with your own. No matter how often you did this, it never failed to arouse you, the sensation of wetness sliding against wetness. The messiness that came, as eventually, spit started falling out of both of your mouths and onto your chins. How obscene yet pleasing it felt when Sehün pulled away, only to swipe away the drool that had fallen onto your chin with his own tongue.

A whimper escaped your mouth, and your small hands tightened into fists, scrunching up the fabric of his shirt.

“M-my Lord.” Your voice was trembling, weak, as you’d become wound up, already waiting for him to touch you.

“We both know that’s not what you’re supposed to call me when I come to fuck you,” He growled, and your eyes flutter shut. You nodded, feeling your arousal spike when he uses the vulgar word.

“Tell me, Y/N, what is it you want?”

“Please touch me, Sir.”

His grin was wicked, nose coming down to brush against yours as he swooped in for another filthy kiss. He let go of your wrists, and his large hands quickly found their way to your thighs. He squeezed them harshly, before murmuring into the kiss, “Up.”

You obeyed wordlessly, hands winding around his neck as you wrapped your legs around his slender waist, dress hiking up as you did so. He carried you both to your bed, and sat, you straddling his lap.

“Look what you do to me,” He sighed, grabbing the back of your neck and gently forcing you to look down. He was already hard, and you grab one of his larger hands, pulling it towards your panties, which are slowly getting wet as your arousal grows.

“You do the same to me, Sir.”

Sehün immediately pulled the cotton fabric to the side, rubbing up and down your slit. “Is this what you want, sweet girl?”

You inhaled sharply, hips beginning to rock against his touch before you nodded.

Suddenly, his free hand delivered a spank to your ass, and you whined, head falling against his chest.

“Words. Use your words, darling.” His voice was stern, dark. You knew better than to poke the sleeping bear, and nodded against his chest before speaking again.

“Y-yes, Sir. I want it.”

His other hand was still stroking up and down your slit, now purposely avoiding your clit and ghosting over your entrance. The friction was slowly driving you mad, the pleasure was there but it was barely enough. You would do anything for him to do anything else.

“Where do you want my fingers, Y/N? Inside you,” He pushed in the tip of his middle finger, causing you to keen against his neck,  “Or on your clit?"

He pulled his finger out and dragged his hand towards your clit, tapping it ever so lightly. Your hands twitched at your sides, not knowing whether you were allowed to touch him or not.

"P-please,” You said. Your words were gone. This was what Sehün could do to you.

When you’d first heard of the Sect of Seven you didn’t believe their “godlike powers”, but now you understood, now you truly believed. Sehün had an effect on everyone—greed was his power, and you were feeling it strongly now, reduced to mere whimpers and thoughts of only more, more, more.

Another hit rained down on your ass, and you squirmed in his grip.

“Words!” His growl was louder now, bordering on angry. “This is your last warning, darling. I’m not going to repeat myself again. Use your fucking words.”

You took a deep breath, then another, when you felt Sehün’s free hand run up and down your back, calming you despite the domineering aura he had about himself.

He knew the effect he could have on people, and he could always tell when it washed over you. This was him trying to snap you out of it just a little bit, and often did this to relax you enough to respond when you were having difficulty speaking.

“Inside,” You gasped finally, raising your head to look at his face. “Fuck me with your fingers, please, Sir."

His smirk was almost as wicked as he was, and he held up two of his fingers to your mouth. "You know what to do.”

His eyes watched your own intently as you sucked his fingers into your mouth, ignoring how the tacky, dried spit on your chin makes the sensation of opening your mouth feel strange and almost tight. You hollowed your cheeks, and he chuckled darkly.

“The next time I have you all to myself, I’ll make you suck my cock.”

You nodded enthusiastically at the idea. Sehün was so big, and having him stuffed down your throat was always a challenge that got you rewarded nicely.

He pressed a kiss to your temple, fingers still crammed into your mouth. “I remember you were so innocent the first time I fucked you. Now look at you, so eager for me to do whatever I want to you.”

He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, trailing it down to your exposed core. “Take off the dress,” He ordered, before finally putting a finger inside of you, setting a slow, tedious pace.

Hands trembling, you forced your hands towards the hem of the white dress, hiking up the skirt, before pulling it up over your head, dropping it at Sehün’s feet. “The bra goes too.”

“Y-yes, Sir.”

You unhooked the bra, tossing it away from you. Finally free to just bask in the sensation of Sehün’s finger caressing inside your walls, your hands balled up into fists, no longer able to keep your hands off of him.

“M-may I—ah!—please touch you, Sir?”

His free hand guided your smaller one to the hardness in his pants. “Get me ready to fuck you, sweet girl.” His voice was quiet, husky, and you licked your lips in anticipation.

“Yes, Sir,” You said for what felt like the millionth time that night, and he smiled down at you, before spanking you again, and you cried out in surprise.

“I-I did what you told me to!”

“I know,” He answered, grinning, “It’s just cute to watch you squirm when I do it.”

You whined. “Sir, please don’t tease—”

“Just jerk me off, sweet girl.”

You eyed him defiantly for a moment. His finger stilled inside of you, almost challenging to disobey. You decided quickly it was better not to, mouth latching to the point below his ear, silently and swiftly unbuckling his belt and dipping a hand into his pants.

His dick was hot and hard, pulsing. You could have sworn it twitched once you finally wrapped your hand around it. He hummed in satisfaction as you pulled him out, letting go of him briefly to spit into your palm. You gripped him again and began to move your hand at the speed he was finger fucking you.

It was no surprise to you that after a few moments of this he sped up his pace, and so do you.

You were moaning against his skin now, pressing wet, open mouthed kisses along his jawline and his free hand came up to pull on one of your nipples, the nub now hard and sensitive. His rough fingertips dragging aggressively across your skin, leaving you mad with want.

When Sehün asked if you could handle another finger, you didn’t hesitate, begging for more, then finally keening in satisfaction of the slight burn that came when he gave into your request.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, hands exploring each others’ skin despite having touched many times in the past.

“Play with your clit,” He said eventually, fingers still fucking in and out of your pussy, “Use one hand on my cock and t-touch your clit with the other one.”

Your head tipped back as you obeyed, adding even more pleasure when your hand teased your clit, before setting a quick drag of back and forth, back and forth.

“F-fuck, Sir, o-oh my god!”

You could tell when Sehün was beginning to lose himself in the pleasure; his eyes scrunched shut, his breathing became heavier than it already was. His free hand, which was gripping your waist, gripped it tighter, and you relished in the crushing but not unbearable pain in your side where his fingers were, knowing that there would be bruises in the morning.

Eventually it came, the familiar coil winding you up and leaving you charged like a livewire, causing your movements to become frantic, moving wildly against his grip.

“S-sir, I’m close!”

In response, he slipped in another long and calloused finger. You cried out his name, before gasping as you realized what you’d done.

You’d just called one of the Lords by name without his permission.

His fingers stilled inside of you, swiftly removing them before flipping the two of you over so he was hovering of you. He looked furious, as he spanks you again.

This time, however, it landed on the nipple he’d been tweaking, before pulling out both of his fingers, and you wailed, a woman possessed.

“Sir, please!” Your pleading was loud, ragged, voice reedy with desire.

His hand gripped your chin once more, this time much more harshly. “Why should I give you anything when you won’t behave? I never gave you permission to say my name, darling. I should just leave you here and not come back.”

“No,” You begged, “No, sir, please, I-I’ll be good, promise!“

He pushes a few strands of hair out of your face, before pressing a harsh kiss against your lips. His hands grabbed yours, pinning them above your head and leaving you powerless.

"I’ve denied you once,” He said, “I won’t hesitate to deny you again. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

He nodded, expression stoic. His steely blue eyes were dilated, almost black with desire. “I’m going to fuck you now. You know what to tell me if it gets to be too much."

You hummed in agreement. "Moonlight, Sir. That’s the word."

He smiled down at you softly, eyes turning to crescents as he broke character for a moment. "That’s a good girl.”

The way he could easily shift between harsh and kind left you feeling as though you had whiplash.

He kneeled on the bed, unbuttoning his crimson red shirt and exposing his toned skin to your eyes. You watched, bewitched, as he stripped down, bare as you.

He lowered himself once more, caging you between the mattress and his long, lithe body. You felt your face heat, and although you couldn’t see, you could tell you were blushing. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, his swollen, chapped lips never failing to take your breath away.

You felt one of his hands reach down, and moments later you gasped into the kiss at the sensation of him rubbing his length between your folds. “Sir,” You said, between kisses, “I’m gonna die - if you don’t do anything soon.”

He pulled away, resting his nose against yours. “You’re too dramatic, darling.”

You gazed up at him, taking in his appearance. His chest was heaving, hair mussed and now falling into his face, his prominent cheekbones and broad shoulders flushed. His expression was dark-but you weren’t sure if that was because of the way the shadows hit his face or because of the lust he felt.

“Se-Sir, p-please.”

“Please, what?” He said, rocking his hips experimentally, still not fucking into you, and you threw your head back in frustration, “You need to tell me exactly what you want, sweet girl.”

You licked your lips, gathering your words as you opened your eyes to stare wantonly at him.

“Fuck me, Sir. Do whatever you want to me.”

He nodded with a smirk, and you could practically feel his ego swell, right before he pushed into your cunt.

Sehün, after so much teasing, wasted no time in setting a punishing pace, groaning in satisfaction. “You’re always so tight, Y/N. Ah, fuck!”

You wrapped your legs around his hips, wordless at how rough he was thrusting into you. You wanted to grab at him, run his hands through his hair and down his back, but he’d already grabbed your wrists again, manhandling them above your head so you were practically at his mercy.

He rested his head against your shoulder, laving his lips against your skin, now damp and glistening with sweat. The heat radiating off of both of your bodies as you writhed against each other seemed to make the temperature in your bedroom rise, sweat dripping from your bodies and mixing with each other’s, making the slide of his skin against yours come even easier.

His thrusts were incessant, but that didn’t stop you from thrashing in his grip when he hit a spot inside of your walls, causing you to cry out, eyes rolling back into your head and his pace turned sluggish, as the tight clenching of your pussy around him caught him off guard.

“Say my name,” He ordered, one hand letting go of your wrists to come play with your clit, now swollen from your vigorous touching and the way his pelvic bone seemed to grind against it.

“F-fuck! Sehün, harder!”

He complied, thrusts soon shallower and slower, but harder as he rocked into your tight heat. Your moans were garbled, mumbling complete nonsense and not even you knew what you were asking for with your constant begging of oh, please, and more, more, more.

Soon enough, the feeling returned, and his pace was no longer controlled, hips moving erratically against yours. All rational thought had left both of your minds, the two of you fucking against each other like wild, feral animals.

“I’m gonna come soon,” He grunted, “F-fuck, Y/N, you’re so good.”

Your body felt like it was on fire, toes curling when you felt the sensation of an oncoming orgasm return again, and you mentally pleaded, a little more, please, please, please.

Your voice was shrill when you voiced your request, but you immediately regretted it. He pulled out of you, eyes filling with tears and crying out in anger when the feeling was lost.

Your eyes raked down his long, tan torso to find his large hand wrapped around his cock, pumping vigorously and giving you a beautifully frustrating sight to watch, propping your sweating body onto your elbows as he kneeled above you, his voice hoarse as he groaned.

“Where should I come?” He asked, but you knew you wouldn’t get a say. His tone was teasing despite the breathlessness in his voice, and eventually he came down to hover above you, pressing his forehead against yours as his eyes screwed shut and mis mouth tipped open, as he came on your stomach.

Your hands came up to run slowly through his hair, now damp with sweat, grounding him and ensuring he wouldn’t get too lost in his throes.

When he returned to his senses, panting heavily, eyes gleaming with a predatory glint, he grinned down at you. “My sweet girl.”

You pouted up at him. “You didn’t let me come.”

“Why should I?”

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, you were interrupted as his lips pressed against yours again, and you barely even noticed when he flipped you over, not until he pulled away to lie his head on your pillows. You looked him over once more, and you raised an eyebrow.

“You’re still hard?”

“Don’t act so surprised,” He murmured, “I’m young. I’m a god.”

You took in the sight of him, face flushed, dark hair messy, icy blue eyes watching, piercing through you and pinning you down in your spot.

One of his hands dragged down your chest, finally dragging his fingers through the cum on your skin, before both of his hands came to grip your hips. He eyed his stiff cock for a second, before his eyes came up to find yours. His eyebrows furrowed, and you could tell he’d just had another one of his wicked ideas.

“Tell me you love me, and maybe then I’ll let you come.”

You felt your eyes widen, and suddenly, despite all the times he’d seen you like this, you felt very, very naked, exposed, vulnerable.

Sehün wasn’t a man of emotions. From what you knew, none of the gods of the sect were men of emotions. They barely qualified as men at all—these were gods. You knew all of them had sexual partners (Sanctuary Queens, people called them, and by extension, you) as well, but had never felt courageous enough to ask Sehün or any of the other Sanctuary Queens about the power dynamics in their relationships.

However.

Sehün had never explicitly told you that this was simply sexual, carnal. There were no rules stating that a romantic relationship god and mortal was a sin–hell, the entire concept of the sect was that there was no such thing as sin, so long as no innocent person was harmed.

Sehün, no matter how ruthless he could be in battle or cunning he could be during worship, was kind. His heart, while not pure, was also not cold, but rather filled with appreciation for life, art, and you. He’d never explicitly said that he had feelings for you, and for a time you wondered if he was even human enough to have feelings at all.

You were never neglected with Sehün. He’d care for you, clean you up after sex, when you were still too overwhelmed to comprehend what was going on. He never forced you out of his chambers after sex, leaving you to rest in his bed, and if you asked nicely, he’d hold you, stroking your hair until you fell asleep. And while Sehün couldn’t cook if the entire sect depended on it, he’d still send for the chefs to make your favorite breakfasts on mornings when you were especially sore.

Regardless, Sehün asking this of you made you freeze up, and you released a shaky breath.

“Sehün, where is this—”

“Where is it coming from? Come on, Y/N. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it too.”

He sat up, coming to wrap his hands around your arms to pull you closer. His eyes studied your face, and you pursed your lips.

“Sehün…”

“I love hearing you say my name,” He whispered into your skin, pressing his nose against your cheek, “Say it again.”

“Sehün.” You felt your eyes flutter shut, going lax in his hold.

You heard him sigh. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “I wasn’t lying when I said I’d thought of you all day.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You said, pulling away to get a good look at him. His eyebrows furrowed, and he lifted a hand to brush a few strands of hair away from his face.

“The resistance is planning something. We don’t know what it is, yet. All we know is that a confrontation is coming… soon.”

You watched his face. He looked troubled—the warm, yellow light of your bedside lamp cast shadows upon his expression that brought out all of his flaws: every scar, every mole, every blemish that wouldn’t be seen if you were standing away from him.

This was the gift Lady Fate had bestowed upon you, to see what exactly made one of your seven gods human, and you were even more grateful to have him say what you couldn’t.

“I’m a god.” He didn’t sound very convinced. “That doesn’t mean they can’t kill me, not with all of the artillery Jongdae keeps bringing in. That doesn’t mean they can’t take you away from me, Y/N. It's… sobering. All of this power only lasts for so long."

You grimaced in sympathy, bringing your hands up to Sehün’s cheeks, longing to be close to him once more.

"I love you, Sehün.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, a confession only for him to hear. “I’m so grateful that you chose me, of all of the girls you could have had that night.”

At your words, the usual twinkle that had dimmed in his eyes returned, just not as bright. “Thank you.”

You smiled, and he did the same, before his swollen lips came down to capture yours again.

“Mine,” he murmured against your lips, “All mine.”

You pushed him away, watched him fall back onto the mattress. You shifted yourself on top of his body, the way his eyes flickered with arousal not going unignored. “Okay,” You sighed dramatically, “I did what you told me to do… Does that mean I can come now?”

He grinned, flipping you over with ease. He looked beautifully disheveled, smiling down at you.

“For you, sweet girl, I’ll make you come a hundred times more.”

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH29

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,753

- Author Note: Mild smut ahead (more to heated makeout session though hahaha) so, you have been warned on my cliche smut writing, i really dont know how to write a proper smut.So sorry for that, u can skip that part :)

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Chapter 29

“Coming!” hurriedly, Hoseok ran to the front door and he’s welcomed by the stack of boxes in someone’s arm. And that someone’s arm happened to be Seul. He pressed his lips together while taking the view in front of him with questionable gaze “wow, someone is planning to move in today?” Seul leaned her body against the wall to stabilize herself.

“Jung Hoseok you better make way for me if you don’t have any intention to help!” her faint hollered was muffled behind the stack of boxes.

Hoseok snapped out of his daze and quickly apologized before lending his hand to help the small girl. “What are these Seul? Why are you carrying all of these by yourself?”

“Present from Armys. I claimed it from the management office” he lifted the first box from the pile, groaning at its weight as he carried it inside. Not even half of the burden were lifted off from her and it really annoyed Seul to the core.

“Unbelievable! Are you really going to take one box from…ugh.. Goodness, you are impossible Hobi!” she nagged. Seul struggled out of her converse and entered the place carefully. When she thought she’d been careful enough, her knees buckled due to the extreme loads which did not match her size.

Seul blamed Hoseok for leaving her with the remaining boxes and chose to pick only one from the piles. Ungrateful Sunshine! She mentally groaned in dissatisfaction. Easing the boxes down on the ground carefully, Seul made sure her lower body could withstand the weight for few more minutes.

Her movements grew sloppy and uncoordinated “Ouff…” without warning, she screeched loudly garnering everyone’s attention. Seul stumbled forward and crashed on top of pile of boxes. To make it sounded humiliating, her face was buried inside one of the boxes and she had to literally hold her breath from sniffing the goodie bags inside.

“Seul?” “Seul what happen!” “Seul-seul are you okay?!” heavy footsteps could be heard from every corner. It seemed like everyone was in rush to the crime scene. A hand reached out to her arms, pulling her from inside the box and examining her body to find scratches on her skin.

Jin patted her cheeks, looking frantic “Did you get hurt anywhere?” finding herself breathless due to the small accident, she finally expelled a soft sigh along with small chuckle.

“Sorry. I am okay, I didn’t mean to worry-Yah Kim Seokjin” she was pulled into Jin’s warm embrace baffling everyone in the room. The members were snickering sarcastically, judging dramatic Jin throwing shades on him.

She palmed his chest, pushing the latter away from her body to create some space for both of them to breathe. “Aren’t you being a little too dramatic?” Jin shot her a disapproval look and trailed her gaze to the rest of the members who had their usual bitch-hands-off-her look across their face.

He knocked the top of her head with his knuckle “ Yah Kim Seokjin? Where is your Jin Oppa? Aren’t you being too informal? ” her nose scrunched up in disgust and turned to others seeking for morale support. Namjoon opened his arm welcoming Seul in his embrace. He grinned widely until the dimple appeared. She rushed to his arms, as Namjoon enfolded his long arms around her earning low protest from the floor.

“Since when you are so touchy with Seul?” said the maknae bitterly.

Jimin shook his head frantically “I cant.. handle more competition. Don’t fall for hyunggie Seul-ah!” he snorted with his whiny voice. She refused to entertain the whiny baby and sealed her mouth until then. The more she showed her response, the longer she had to watch these boys irrelevant mouth fight.

Namjoon paid no attention to others and rubbed her arms urging Seul to come with him to his room “Where are you bringing her?!” Jin shouted from the living room watching their body slowly disappeared from his vicinity. Yoongi rolled his eyes, escaping the commotion to his room.

 -------------------

Seul spent two hours in Namjoon’s room watching English shows though she barely survived throughout the shows, Namjoon was kind and patient enough to translate some difficult terms for her. Hoseok and Jimin would come to check on them every five minutes until the couple had enough and decided to lock the door.

The first 10 minutes, Jin pounded on the door like a mad man demanding the leader to return Seul back to them or else they would call help to open the door. The guys seemed to have so much time in hand today that they chose to pick on Namjoon and Seul instead of minding their own business.

After wasting his energy in persuading Namjoon and Seul unlocking the door, Kim Seokjin gave up and finally they could find some peace.

Nibbling on her chips halfway, she dropped the remaining on her lap as she pointed at the screen with a soft gasp “ Is it even ethical to kill someone and get away from it?!” Namjoon chuckled softly and hummed a soft yes.

“This is so fucked up!” Seul threw her arms in the air and rubbed her pounding head. He flicked his eyes up and down before his left brows shot up in either surprise or disapproval of  Seul’s choice of words “Language. You have been spending too much time with Yoongi hyung” flicking her forehead lightly, the girl pouted in protest.

Namjoon’s forehead creased into a frown “ It is called ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ for this reason duh. The title itself already give away the idea of the story. You are being a drama queen” she curled up beside him and brought her attention back to the television screen.

“I know, but it doesn’t make any sense. If I were Wisse Gribbins, I would tell the police and leave his friends to deal with their own problem”

“It is Wes Gibbins. You sounded so Korean” he corrected and let out an amused laugh. She smacked his forehead softly, scowling in disapproval “The last time I checked, I am Korean, Rap Monster-ssi” he cringed at the way how she called him by his stage name. It was his first time to hear it from Seul and for some reason it created a huge gap in between those words. Unfriendly, yes that was it.

“That sounds even horrible. Just stick with Namjoon. Rap Monster-ssi doesn’t fit you” he glared down at her and ran his fingers in her hair out of habit.

“But, I meant to ask something… Just your view, tell me honestly alright? I have been thinking to change my stage name” he bit his lower lips as if in deep thought.

The corner of her lips pursed up as she nodded “To what? Joonie? O-ri?” he scoffed.

“Joonie is too cute! Stop bringing up O-ri, I am so over my Hiphop Monster figurine which resembles a duck, ugh now I have to live with that”

Seul tilted her head, thinking deeply before responding “ Jji-Mon! (RipMon)” clasping her hand together, her eyes twinkled in happiness as if she just won the big prize of the night.

Namjoon stared at her blankly trying to brain Seul’s words. He regained back his ability to talk not long after.

“What in the world? How did you know about that! It was long time ago, and I thought you weren’t a fan Seul. Or are you secretly my fan since start but you got to hide it because you are too shy to admit it?” he drew his own conclusion annoyed the hell out of her.

Sneering sarcastically, she poked his forehead returning Namjoon to his original position as he had moved a little too close to her “I saw the concept trailer, whereby you and Jimin had to rip off your shirt. You really are a true god of destruction; how could you rip it off at once when Jimin’s shirt was looking fine after the deed, unlike you. Tsk, Rap Monster-ssi” she teased.

“That was wardrobe malfunction. Stop using that against me. I won’t ask your opinion for my stage name anymore, you are a true Army, what do I expect? You will make me use those funny nicknames”

“Hey! I am not your Army. And those nicknames aren’t that bad. I found it is entertaining” he chuckled lightly.

“Alright you are not my Army. However, you are our girl. So, let’s get back to our main topic, shall we? About my stage name. I am thinking of making it official. Instead of using Rap Monster, I want to use RM. What do you think about it?”

Seul beamed “RM sounds professional and cool!”

“And, Rap Monster sounded unprofessional?” he scratched his head.

“I didn’t say that. Rap Monster is good but now that you are moving forward and become bigger, I think RM suits you better though I prefer Namjoon over anything, no offence. But, Rap Monster sounds too teenager-ish to me. I like RM. I am sure Armys will love it too” she patted his head with light giggle.

He chortled “Teenager-ish. That makes sense. I am no longer the Rap Monster who wrote childish lyrics, I wish to be better and thorough in producing music. Do you think Armys will be okay with RM?” he expressed his concern. In all honesty, Namjoon did not want to screw things up especially when it involved Armys. Every decision that he’s about to make, he would put Armys in his thought.

“Joon, your fans will love it. Remember they love you just as much as you love them. Trust them. You are worrying too much. Shall we just use Jji-Mon instead?”

“Absolutely no. You are not in charge in this” he pinched her nose, frowning at her small tease.

They jumped in surprised as a loud banging at the door drew their attention momentarily “Kim Namjoon! Ji Seul! Open the goddamn door now or I swear to god I will break it down in 10 seconds!”. Kim Seokjin was screaming at the top of his lungs threatening them once again.

Springing up, she smoothed back her tousled hair and rose from her feet “I will tame the whiny lioness, stop worrying over the stage name. Let Armys know how you feel, it will make you feel better”

“Thank you Seul..I will think about it” a slow smile worked its way across his face. Namjoon knew exactly what he felt right now. And, he made up his mind about the stage name.

“Kim to the Namjoon! Return Seul safely now!” he pounded loudly.

“Ugh Jin is so annoying. Give it a thought alright?” she winked as she hurriedly went to open the door “Coming! You can stop pounding the door now Jinnie!” Seul hollered in response to Jin’s wrath.

 ---------------------

The next day Seul arrived at the boys’ place to work a little later as she had to accompany Mrs Hwang for routine check-up. She went straight to tend her job as soon as she sent her mother back safely. Upon her arrival, the place was empty. They must be out somewhere or most probably at the company practicing for their next tour. In few days they will be leaving Korea and this time it’d be Wings Tour Japan Edition.

In the middle of preparation for their tour, the boys had started going in and out from the studio for their upcoming comeback which was expected to be in September. The second half of 2017 had already drained fifty percent of their energy. Hence, the thought of surviving the rest of the year until their comeback was torturing them.

Seul walked along the hallway, picking up dirty laundry in process while humming to some random songs. She stopped halfway in front of Yoongi’s private study room or more like his mini studio. He had one at the company as well as in their dorm. Yoongi would use either one of his genius lab depending on his mood. However, most of important and private stuffs would be secured in his main genius lab. The one that he had at home was a casual thing, he didn’t really put passwords to the door.

There was a small voice coming from the room, and out of curiosity she pushed the door slowly scanning the room in hope to find familiar faces like Min PD. Smiling to herself, she was over the moon to see Yoongi in his seat engrossed in his work. He didn’t even notice her presence there.

She took the chance to enter the room stealthily just to scare him a little. Chewing on her lower lips, she stifled her giggle settling the dirty laundry outside. Seul crept into Suga’s Genius Lab, shutting the door behind her silently. She stood behind him waiting to jump out or to creep up, startling him.

Seul chose the second options to appear more daring. It was Suga not Jungkook. This guy deserved a little scare just to tame him. To put it off this way made it sounded so wrong. She shook her head to get rid of the weird thought and getting ready to execute her so called guerrilla attack.

Before she could make a move, Yoongi swivelled his chair around facing the girl. Seul gawked in bafflement, giving Yoongi upper hand to pull her into his lap. “Got you” his low voice sounded awfully deep today, and it almost made Seul losing her shits.

“What are yo-“ she struggled to stand up but Yoongi tightened the grip around her torso, running his thumb in circular motion along her waist line.

“I miss you” he murmured.

She softened in his hold. “I miss you too” she encircled her arm around his neck. Seul looked startle by her own action but drawn as he inched close to her face. It was only a matter of time before their lips reunited again. Yoongi brushed his lips against her, holding her cheek in his hand drawing her closer.

He kissed her gently, cradling the back of her head, relishing the feel of her soft hair and delicate bones. Their lips moved in the same rhythm, ravishing each other lips. She stroked his chest, allowing the latter to push his tongue inside dominating this battle.

To be frank, she never expected kissing Min Yoongi would be this hot and it triggered her desire to feel more of it. He roamed his hand around her body, feeling every inch of her covered skin adding the fuel in their already heated moment. Aching for more, they pulled away from the kisses panting for clean air and before she could regain her normal breathing completely, Seul let out a small moan in his earlobe.

She clung to him, emitting a low groan as he sucked on the tender area at the base of her neck. Her voice encouraged him to explore her body further. Yoongi’s temperature rose and he went to kiss her again with so much passion. This time Seul responded to the kisses as passionate as his.

Carefully, he ran his hand to her buttocks switching her position. She straddled him on the seat, her knees on either side of his legs, wrapping herself deliciously close to his body. His fingers fiddle with the button of her blouse, when she made no move to stop him, he took the chance to unbutton them halfway down enough to reveal her chest.

Yoongi breathed softly against her lips and nuzzled her face. Their gaze met as they communicated silently with a single stare that they exchanged. Chewing her lower lips, Yoongi kissed her briefly before running his lips along her jaws. He slipped her hand under her blouse, feeling her tender skin against his hand.

Seul’s body went rigid with surprised as trembled shook her body. The euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more when she felt his hand caressing her chest inching close beneath her cleavage. His lips returned to ravage her neck knowing what it did to her. She arched towards him, holding back the moan in her throat. He nipped at her neck slowly getting harder and more insistent as time passed.

Her hand clutched onto his shoulder for support, as her free hand ran freely in his brown lock. Yoongi’s action rendered her breathless. She unconsciously moved a little creating small friction against the dangerous zone. It was supposed to be untouchable, yet as soon as she heard Yoongi deep groan. She knew she had done something inappropriate to it.

“Darn it Seul” he nibbled on her earlobe as he picked up the confuse girl, making his way to the couch behind them. He laid her down and found himself on top of her. Yoongi was not rushing into doing anything intimate with her, in fact he had been monitoring her response. If she didn’t push him away, meaning he got her permission. Up to this stage, Seul showed no sign of protest.

She slid her hands under his shirt, signalling him to take it off. His breath hitched at the sight of eager Seul beneath him making Yoongi wanted to take her right way. She took a moment to stare at his body without blinking. Seul pictured the image of shirtless Yoongi in her head, admiring his fine body that matched the perfectly milky skin. Yoongi looked effortlessly beautiful without his shirt on.

“You seem impressed baby girl” said Yoongi teasingly.

Her cheeks reddened realizing that she’d been taken a long time to admire the fine man on top of her. However, when Yoongi lips captured her once again in another long and endearing kiss, it washed off all the shyness in her.

She closed her eyes and felt the passion swelling in her. He broke the kisses and looked into her eyes “Baby, tell me when to stop” she was moved by his soft side. Despite in this situation Yoongi put her feelings above his raging hormone.

Nodding with a smile, Seul pulled his neck down and made the first move. She kissed him on the lips, using a little tongue before trailing the kisses to his neck. She knew what was she doing causing the older guy to emit a long moan while his hand gripping her hip.

Chills bumps across her body as Yoongi pressed against her, as he pinned one of her hands abover her head. He interlaced their hand together and he kissed his way down to her chest.  Reaching her back, he unclasped the fabric that had been hiding the beauties in front of him. Seeing Yoongi’s lustful stare, she blushed madly and threw one of her arms to cover the twins from his prying eyes.

Their eyes locked, as he removed her hand uncovering the two beauties. He breathed sharply and mumbled “You are beautiful baby girl. Too beautiful” she anticipated what he’s about to next. She chewed her lips nervously but soon the feeling was taken over by one of the greatest pleasure in her whole life. One at a time, he just kept on and on kissing and sucking on them turning Seul into a moaning mess.

Arching her back, she pushed her chest forward letting him to have them, giving into the pleasure that he gave her willingly. While he’s working on pleasuring her, he unbuttoned the remaining button of her blouse and slipped it off her.

Yoongi held both sides of her abdomen as he moved down, pushing her legs apart. Watching her hesitation, he took the cue to trail his kiss back to her stomach, kissing it all over. He was so gentle with her, every kiss that he showered were made of love.

“Yoongs…where is everyone” she bit her tongue from expelling another loud moan.

Stroking her hips deeply, Yoongi kissed her inner thigh playfully and mumbled against her skin “Out. They won’t be back until tonight” kissing and licking her, he teased her into a frenzy. Seul grabbed the sheets tight, grunting sexily which drove Yoongi mad.

The couple continue undressing each other skilfully.

Clothes scattered on the floor leaving her with only thin fabric covering her most fragile area and so did Yoongi. He glances at her once again seeking for permission. A faint blush crept up her cheeks, and that was enough to convince him that she’s alright with this level of intimacy.

She exhaled as if to steady her nerves when he finally freed her and continued to shower kisses there, earning a deep grunt from Seul. One of her hands was locking his hair, Yoongi worked his way in between with passion.

“Yoongi..” her breath hitched. Seul was reaching her peak and he knew it, just how he intended it to be. Still not stopping, he kept on with his skilful tongue. Her body tense up as she exhaled a deep breath feeling the ecstasy from his sinful tongue love making.

The sensation from his warm tongue drove her insane.

Only soft and erotic groans could be heard across the room. Just how much they longed for each other this way? They were drowned in a sea of lust and love.

 ------------------

Sitting in between Yoongi’s legs, he snuggled her closer to his body. “I want you to listen to this song. It is a demo for our new album” her eyes gleamed in excitement. “Is it alright to let me listen to it? I mean I am not a BTS member” she mumbled confusedly.

“No, it is alright. It is just a rough version of the song. We haven’t confirmed anything yet” Yoongi chuckled softly as he reached out the ipod on the glass table and adjusted the headphones over her ears.

“Ready? Tell me what do you think of it alright?” Seul nodded with a thumb up. His thumb glided over the screen, and the first strain of a smooth alternative hip hop with a light touch of jazz echoed through the headphones. She found herself enjoying the soft beat as her head tilted by its own to right and left in response.

There was not much lyric in it since they may need to come up with new changes now and then. However, she could catch small lines that they already included in the song. It was poetic and catchy.

All of my wonder You’re the answer I call you her, her Cause you’re my tear, tear

Yoong ran his thumb along the side of her waist anticipating Seul’s reaction. He had been working the songs with Namjoon and Hoseok, though the leader had already come up with the full lyrics of the outro, he still had to make sure the beat matched the lyric perfectly.

When the song ended, Seul removed the headphones and turned her head facing the handsome rapper. “That was beyond amazing Yoongi!” she grinned, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He watched the girl cracking his gummy smile “Really? I wanted to submit this last touch to Joon, so he could record the rest of the lyrics” Seul tapped his small nose.

He scrunched his nose cutely “You did great! Can’t wait to hear the full version of the song. I can feel it in my bones that it is going to be my favourite songs from your new album” just by watching her giddiness boosted his confidence.

“Don’t decide that now. There are more cool songs in the album. Wait for it. It is going to be a new side of Bangtan Sonyeondan” he brought her to his arms again, resting his chin on the top of her head.

She nuzzled her face at the crook of his neck “I am with Bangtan till the end” he caressed her hair lovingly and placed a kiss on her head.

“Of course. You are our girl” he soothed her with a deep murmur.

Their girl. Namjoon said the same thing. Her feelings were a mixture of happiness and guilt. Sometimes she was scared of her future though she promised to live the present without worries.

She couldn’t simply wash off this insecurity in her, just because it was impossible to forget. Seul had to handle her present with confidence and face her future with no fear.

Just, never let your fear decide your future.

Yeah, she’s holding onto the principle.

-----------------

“Someone trashed our practice room!”

“The culprit tried to break into Hoseok’s hyung studio, but they didn’t get through it. I bet they or he or she whatever were in rush. They left right after they broke into Joon hyung and Yoongi hyung studios” Jungkook explained to Seul with heavy pant. He was just so mad that his veins started to appear on his skin.

Seul felt angry to hear the news, the girl clenched her teeth together “Did they take anything from the studios?” Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose with a harsh grunt.

“My works were all gone. Those assholes! OUR HARDWORKS WERE ALL GONE! SCREW THIS” he yelled venting his frustration. Namjoon expelled a heavy sigh “They didn’t take anything from my studio, but the equipment was ruined. Ugh, I really want to kill the person who did this” his brow creased and he pressed his lips into a thin line.

“CCTV?” she inquired.

Shaking his head in defeat “Someone tampered with the surveillance camera. The footage was deleted. I had no idea how they entered the building” Seul frowned in disapproval.

“It was odd how they trashed Joon and Hoseok studios but wiped off Yoongi’s works. The furniture and equipment in his room are untouchable. There is no sign of robbery. Could they be after Yoongi?” the eldest of the group spoke up with a deep furrow.

She sent Yoongi a sympathy glance knowing all his hard works being erased overnight, that must be upsetting. Who would do such things to him? Yoongi might appear unfriendly but he would not hurt anyone. He could spit the nastiest remarks on others who provoked his anger, yet that only happened when you tick off the Min Yoongi.

“Did you make any enemy outside? Anyone that rings the bell?” Jimin shifted his gaze back and forth from Jin and Yoongi. Then he pursed his lips, feeling defeated.

Yoongi watched him, while he narrowed his eyes in a deep thought. To think of the possibility, Jin assumption could be right. However, he couldn’t think of any names that could possibly do this to him. After he became a trainee and debuted as BTS member, he rarely got the chance to meet someone new and make new friends.  

He dedicated his life for his work and Bangtan, not that he remembers making any enemy outside. Maybe few people who loathed him from choosing the easiest path to become artiste. It was a long time ago since he used to be an underground rapper. Namjoon and him were hated for being an idol so they had cut off their ties with them. That was the last time they ever met the crews and to think someone would do this to him after years sounded unreasonable.

“We found the culprit! Lets head to the company now!” their manager popped out from nowhere surprising everyone.

“What? How? Who?” Hoseok and Jungkook said in sync, as they were already on their feet.

The tall man nodded while grabbing the keys “He turned himself in. We will get our answers soon. So, let’s go now” Seul eyes widened at the revelation. If the person really turned himself in, then why would he waste his energy to commit those crime.

“Do you want to tag along?” Yoongi touched Seul shoulder “I can make use of your presence beside me, please” his eyes bore into her. Seul hesitated to know she was in no place to be around the boys publicly.

They heard their manager emitted a deep sigh, “Seul, come with us. You may need to stop someone from causing a scene” his eyes were fixated on Yoongi. He knew exactly how the guy would react, Yoongi’s anger was not a joke.

“Sure…” Yoongi grabbed his extra mask and helped to put it on her. It was needed to protect the girl from being exposed to medias or Armys. At least, they might see her as one of the staffs instead of spreading false rumours.

For an odd reason, she didn’t feel good about this. She just couldn’t rid this uneasiness in her. Was she overthinking about the whole thing?

  This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved

[double-daredevil]

folklore ; chapter one

din djarin x reader (no y/n)

words: 6.2k

rating: T for swearing i guess. its a slow burn there isnt anything sexii yet lol

themes: slow burn (like y’all its so SLOW lol), eventual angst, no Y/N, eventual smut, eventual EVERYTHING this is like the establishing shot of a movie its gonna be a FIC lmfao. dont get attached the end is already planned.

notes: set before the tv series. canon doesn’t exist anymore. i make the rules here pals. yes it is named after the tswift album so that gives you some fuckin HINTS 

--

Accident.

Pretty much everything that happened to you happened by accident, but you weren't one to complain. Without much control over your life for your adolescent years, seeing as you were raised as an Imperial trooper and just followed orders, you happily let yourself float along in life whichever way the forces led you. 

That doesn't mean you don't have, say, a moral guideline.

It's difficult to explain to people once they get to know you better and eventually squeeze out of you that yes, you were trained Imperial. Details are not awarded to most people, in fact— you’re not sure anyone except one of your commanding officers in the rebellion knew that you were a clone. 

You have spent countless hours trying to transition from regret to simply shame. After all, how is it your fault you did what you were told? If you didn’t, you would have been executed. Tossed to the trash like a faulty toy. The greatest decision in your life was the first decision you, personally, got to make— to run. It took you a few years to plan the scheme, but you defected successfully. Your moral issues were simply too strong to subvert, and you had to leave. So you did. That's all. You don't like to talk about it much.

After you mustered up some vengeance by joining the rebellion, you had to find a living once the major fighting died down for a while. With your particular skills— too deadly to be a simple security guard, or any occupation that doesn't involve tactical warfare, you settled on hoarding money through bounties. Not quite professed in the field of bounty hunting, you would latch on to more experienced hunters and offer to split rewards 20-80 for your help. The meager money filled your pocket enough for food and lodging while you learned the ways of the trade and, subsequently, your new way of life.

That's how you met your first Mandalorian. 

A mutual acquaintance from the Guild had a heavy quarry, a difficult one that he had trouble passing off. Too complex and detailed for just you, your acquaintance told you that when he found a suitable hunter to take the lead, he'd hail you to tag along. A week after the quarry was first put on the table, a renowned bounty hunter— this Mandalorian, rolled into town to collect the tracking fob. Part of the agreement was to take you along. The Mandalorian agreed. A brief encounter mediated by your mutual acquaintance and you were following the beskar-clad hunter to his ship, which you’ve come to know as the Razor Crest. A dingy, huge hunk of metal that could use a good list of upgrades, but you quickly grew accustomed to the flying garbage can. 

And somehow, after that singular bounty hunt, where you actually got to assist in the capture and the shoving of the unruly quarry into the carbonite, Mando offered you constant refuge aboard his ship in return for some pay and help on his harder bounties. That conversation, so far, has been the longest exchange of words between you and him, and it only lasted maybe five minutes. That’s all. You’re not one that aches for human interaction, having been commanded all your life by others, so you almost welcome the silence.

Almost.

—

Officially, you have been a part of Mando’s crew for nearing six months.

You hear metal clanging against metal, and you glance over your shoulder to see him climbing down from the cockpit. “Are we headed to the next quarry?” You ask.

“Yes,” comes through the vocoder. “Carajam.”

“Oh lovely,” you say, voice dripping with sarcasm as you focus on polishing the trigger of the blaster in your hands. “Another desert planet in the Outer Rim.”

“Our favorite,” Mando deadpans as he walks over, sitting across from you at the janky table. 

Once you were an official employee of his, you spent your first few payday collections on your own blasters. In all honesty, weapons never made you nervous, as you grew up in a space station that was literally just a giant weapon, but owning your own seemed… different. Blasters are weapons made just to kill, and you are allowed to have that power again. But, anyway, most of your money goes to savings so you can buy a house to retire to one day. One day. 

The Mandalorian rolls his shoulders back to adjust his cape out of the way of his hands as he starts to dismantle the blaster that’s usually holstered at his hip. Piece by piece, he sets his blaster on the table like a new jigsaw puzzle, and you’ve just finished polishing the little blaster you’ve decided to keep stashed in your boot.

“How long until we arrive?” You ask.

His visor is focused downwards, at the metal pieces on the table, his right gloved hand hovering over the pieces like an excited child in a candy shop trying to pick his favorite one. “Not long,” he replies, picking up the barrel and beginning to wipe it clean with a cloth. “We will arrive once it becomes night on the planet. Cooler temps.”

You nod, letting out an appreciative sigh. That meant you had a night’s rest before the hunt began. As he finished up with the barrel of his blaster, you removed your longer, daily use blaster and began dismantling. You two stay like that, at a dimly lit table cleaning the blasters, until the ship notified that it was about to drop out of hyperdrive. 

Mando quickly reassembled his blaster, slipping the completed gun back into its holster as he stood and hustles over to the cockpit. Following suit, you dusted off any last specs of dirt on yours and planted your feet firmly against the floor, as the ship dropped out of its easy glide through the stars and into the gravity pull of Carajam. The Razor Crest isn’t the smoothest rig, but you’re still very appreciative. And, you like to think you have good balance, so it’s not a hard task to stay stable.

You want to say that Mando is a good pilot, and you really think he is, but you can’t help but miss the sheer amount of credits that the Empire was able to spend on simple luxuries to make their lives easier, like enhanced stabilization in and out of hyperdrive, cleaner hyperdrives, even, and— 

The Razor Crest lands and you shake those dark thoughts out of your head, reassembling your blaster but with clearly less finesse than Mando. Stars, are weapons actually part of his religion, or was that a joke as well? It’s quite the challenge to pick up on the subtleties of somebody who wears intense armor literally every waking moment, but you’ve grown accustomed (more or less) to the separate circles of things that Mando talks about. Those circles are: one, things he says and means, two, things he says as a joke, and three, the gray, shadowy area where those two circles meet and you’re still deciphering what brief conversations and quick remarks belong there. 

As the ship starts to rest, expelling various airs and sighs itself as the sheer weight settles on the landing gear, you clear off the table and slip your smaller blaster back into your boot, and your other into your holster that’s banded to your right thigh. The Mandalorian comes down the cockpit ladder soon enough and goes to stand at the main ship door. You hop up from your seat and stand next to him, as he punches something into the control pad on the archway and the large door hisses and starts to lower. The first glimpse of the planet you get is the peak of the spectacular night sky, and eventually the ramp meets the sand on the ground and you see it all. Mando struts down the ramp to go and meet the landing dock manager and pay for the spot here in this spaceport Danan Karr, but you wait aboard still, leaning against the open doorway and gazing out into the night. Planets are always easier for you at night, as they were calmer— at least, those that don’t have an avid nightlife. A few that you and Mando have stopped at have been busier in the dark hours than the light, but it was always fitting. 

The breeze of the desert planet comes sifting around you, caressing your cheeks with warm air and particles of sand, but you don’t mind. Raised in space, you have an affinity for the ground and real, non-recycled air. Although it’s never any trouble for you to stay inside a ship for however long, there is always something alluring about fresh air. Plus, this planet in the Outer Rim isn’t exactly prime vacationing, so there is nearly no light pollution. It was almost hard to wrench your eyes away from the bright stars speckling the dark blanket of the sky. 

You almost don’t notice when Mando comes walking back up the ramp, too busy basking in the breeze to notice the beskar-clad hunter. He stands at the top of the ramp, slightly in front of you, for a good few seconds as you look straight over his head.

“Hey,” he calls for your attention, and you look down at his face. Or, well, the specific area in the T of his visor where you’re pretty sure his eyes are. He tilts his helmet to the side and you know he’s begun to worry about you.

So you flash him a smile. “I just love the air here,” you say, and turn around to step back inside the ship. Mando walks the rest of the way up the ramp and inside, pressing a button to raise the ramp.

“Rest tonight,” he starts. “Tomorrow we go on the hunt.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply, going back to sit at the janky table to clean one more blaster before retreating to your bunk.

The Mandalorian sits at the table as well, after having taken his ambam rifle out of storage for a quick clean. In silence you two work on your respective blasters, caring for them as they are just as important to the job as the tracking fob. Perhaps an hour or so went by, and as you were putting your blaster back together piece by piece, the comfortable silence was broken. But this time— not by you.

“What did you say about the air?”

You look up from your blaster and see that Mando isn’t looking at you, but still at his rifle. The fact that he’s trying to start casual conversation accidentally makes a smile appear on your face. You quickly look back down at your blaster, but your smile still remains.

“I said that I loved it,” you reply. “Because the air here is very fresh. Even though there’s like, no trees, there’s almost no people. No pollution.”

He hums in understanding and continues cleaning. 

Back to the comfortable silence. 

—

The Razor Crest looks large from the outside, but it’s pretty cramped inside. The majority of its bulk is for it’s engines and practical components— hyperdrive, fuel tanks, cooling systems and whatnot. It was once a gunship, and that fact does put you on edge. Ships like this used to transport troops and drop them in combat. So, there is a large portion of the ship’s cargo bay that remains unused, as Mando doesn’t usually transport large quarries. The living space, or at least that’s what you’ve called it in your head, consists of an open area with a small but sturdy table, a few stools to sit on, and various crates that contain meal rations and tools and various trinkets. You’re almost one hundred percent sure that this ship was never meant to be lived in. You estimate that maybe four or five people could stay on the ship before everyone felt claustrophobic. 

There used to be only one cot hidden in the walls, you’d knocked against one of the panels and the door would swoosh away, revealing a simple bed and just enough room to roll around to attempt to be comfortable. The night after the first bounty you helped Mando with, he let you sleep some in the hidden nook as he piloted you two back to Nevarro. While you were standing outside the ramp and helping unload bounties, the Mandalorian inquired whether or not you would want to join him on future bounties. With an assurance that you would get your own cot, you obliged. 

—

The bounty that you two are hunting on Carajam, the lovely desert planet, is hiding somewhere in the caves and cliffs a few klicks east of the space port that you are staying in. From the info you’ve picked up talking with a few locals, the quarry likes to hide in the sand caves because he has no friends. Well, actually it’s because he’s murdered about a person per household out of everyone who still lives on the desert planet. You thank the locals for their information with a few credits and a jug of desirable water.

You make your way to the only cantina on the planet, and by cantina you mean what is quite literally a bar top and six stools outside the shop of a local mechanic. The Mandalorian is sitting, waiting, on the last stool, facing the expanse of the desert that is a mere fifty feet from the edge of the little star port. You swiftly occupy the stool next to him.

“So,” you start, and he swivels in his stool to face you. You brace your elbows on the table. “About seven klicks east towards the main expanse of cliffs, and then about two more klicks north to the caves. One of the caves will look obviously occupied, trash and debris and whatnot. That’s what I’ve gathered.”

“Good work,” comes through the vocoder. “Are you ready to head out?”

“Yes, sir,” you smile, adjusting the straps of the small backpack you have. “After your lead.”

He swivels again and hops off his stool, and waits a moment until he hears you following him before beelining to the edge of town. You follow, obedient, as he weaves through the sparse crowd to another shop, lined with speederbikes and a few larger landcrafts. The Mandalorian walks up to the shop owner and exchanges a few words, and a few credits, and then moves to two of the speederbikes. 

“You know how to ride?” He asks you, as you stand beside one and he the other. 

“Yes, actually,” you say, always having a soft spot for fast land vehicles. You briefly wonder that, if you had said no, would he have made you sit behind him on one bike? The thought makes you smile, bashful, and you wait until he mounts his bike before climbing onto yours.

“Seven klicks east,” Mando says, repeating your earlier words and firing up his bike.

You turn yours on as well, and grab a pair of goggles from your backpack. You pull up the bandana you keep around your neck to cover your mouth, and then put on the goggles. You give a thumbs up to Mando, who was glancing over his shoulder to wait for your cue.

And then he zooms off. And you diligently follow.

— 

You two reach the caves in a quick hour, specifically saving some hours of daylight just in case this job takes a turn. The two of you park your speederbikes about half a klick downwind of the cave, just in case. You keep your goggles on and bandana over your mouth, as the wind out here doesn’t seem to want to settle. Dust and sand weave around your feet like a clingy pet as you scale the short cliffside after your Mandalorian, following him quickly toward the cave. 

You hover around the mouth of the cave as Mando stalks in, somehow still quiet despite his sturdy boots against the rock. To see down inside was near impossible, even as you took off your goggles. You hear some sort of scuffle, a few clatters, and then Mando is shoving a handcuffed quarry your direction. You reach up and steady the quarry, your hands on the man’s shoulders. Stars, he was a large man, so you assume that Mando only managed to shackle him due to surprise. 

“Let go of me, you kriffing bitch,” the quarry seethes at you and aggressively shrugs his shoulders to loosen your grip. Mando takes a step towards him, you imagine he’s reacting to the derogatory term thrown your way, but you beat him to it— 

You release your grip on the quarry, and while he’s stunned for a moment from it, you kick his foot out from underneath him. He falls hard on his ass and plops to the side, unable to stifle his fall due to being cuffed. With a slight smile, you watch him struggle on the ground.

“F-fuckin’ bitch,” he groans out, trying to roll over to a kneeling position. Once he manages that, Mando comes and grips the man’s shirt— lifting him inches off of the ground towards his helmet. 

“Watch your mouth.”

And then Mando drops him. 

The quarry gasps at the contact back on the ground and groans, almost falling over again. You go up behind him and grab the cuffs, wrenching him upwards and forcing him to stand. You grip the cuffs tightly in your left hand, and hold your blaster to the quarry’s back with your right.

“Let’s go, then,” you say. 

The Mandalorian leads the way back towards the speeders.

—

After tying up the quarry to transport him on the back of Mando’s speederbike, you settle nicely back inside the Razor Crest. Mando already froze the quarry after he wouldn’t stop blubbering about how sorry he was for mindlessly murdering the people in port— he couldn’t help himself, apparently. 

“Nobody is born a killer,” the Mandalorian tells the quarry before freezing him.

You avert your gaze away from him once the carbonite process is finished, allowing him to believe he had privacy with the quarry during their discussion. You had tucked yourself around a corner to avoid letting him know you like listening to the Mandalorian’s stern and assertive remarks to unruly quarries. You take mental notes on the way he talks, mostly to figure out what he believes in. A Mandalorian follows a creed, and your Mandalorian hasn’t mentioned a single thing about it since you’ve met him. By now, after half a cycle, you’ve figured out the basics. And the bottom line is that Mando is generally a good guy— a moral guy, you guess. Kind of like a vigilante who upholds his own justice, but a good guy nonetheless. If Mandalorians picked sides besides their own people, you think he would’ve joined the rebellion. 

“I’ve set us on course back to Nevarro,” you offer as Mando walks back through to the main area of the ship and raises the ramp. You lean against the metal wall in one corner, watching him fulfil his routine.

“Good,” he says, appreciative in his own way that you know that he likes to be constantly on the move. “What’s the ETA?”

“Only a few hours,” you say, pushing yourself off of the wall and going to the ladder to the cockpit. The ramp closes as you grab the rungs, looking back to Mando as he shadows you at the ladder. “You should get some rest before we arrive,” you offer.

He’s silent a moment while you face back to the ladder and start ascending. You hear him mutter a ‘okay, thank you,’ through his helmet before you climb your way fully into the cockpit. Once you’ve ascended, you don’t hesitate to go and sit in the pilot’s chair. Although you’re not the best pilot, favoring studying combat and languages instead of flight and mechanics, you manage. 

You settle in the seat and grab the flight controls, and hear Mando stepping onto the floor of the cockpit. You flick up a few switches and start the ship, letting her rumble to life while you look back over your shoulder at your Mandalorian.

“Sleep well,” you say with a hint of a smile.

He gives you a nod, hesitates, and then opens the door on the wall behind the cockpit, leading to the captain’s quarters. Once you hear his door swoosh close after his retreating footsteps, you let out a breath and encourage yourself, grabbing tightly onto the handles. 

Just get it into the sky, and the autopilot gets you there, you tell yourself, forcing the Razor Crest into the air. She succeeds in ascending, and you raise the landing gear and disarm any land security protocols. Following a mental list, you do exactly as you’ve seen Mando, and get the ship into space in no time. A little shaky, sure, but you don’t think it was enough to stir the captain out of bed.

—

One cycle.

You two take a brief break. There aren’t any bounties worthy of your time, anyway.

The smoke crawls up your wrist, wrapping around your forearm before dissipating into the air. You hold the ornate stem of the smoking pipe to your lips, inhaling shallowly, and let your arm drop as you try to breathe the smoke in deeper. A heavy sigh and the smoke passes back out of your lungs, past your lips, forming a cloud in front of your face. You wait, still holding the pipe, and look expectantly at your hosts.

Upon landing on this planet, at what seems to be the only one semi-decent town, the Razor Crest was surrounded by the inhabitants. Seemingly human-esque, you and the Mandalorian walked out of the ship with no weapons in your hands, ready to barter for some fuel and lodging for the night. The people of the planet, through an interpreter, were more than happy to allow you to stay.

Under one condition; uphold their welcoming traditions and take a huge hit off of the pipe the dude who seemed to be the chief was eagerly thrusting towards you two. 

Startled at the proposition, and more so by the growing ruckus of the onlooking crowd the longer Mando tried to deny the offer, you grabbed the pipe. The chief smiled widely and the crowd calmed, but Mando whipped his head towards you.

“Don’t smoke that,” he said. “You have no idea what it is.”

The interpreter tried to reassure you that it was safe, it was fine, a common plant that everyone on the planet enjoys. The longer you held the pipe without smoking it, the smaller the smile of the chief was and the more and more the rest of the people stirred. Eventually, it did devolve into a shouting match between Mando, the interpreter, the chief, and a few people in the crowd who were brandishing weapons. 

So you smoked it.

You’ve smoked a few things before in your experience, not a lot. Drinking was always more your thing, knowing that once the liquid passes through you it will be gone from your system. Inhalants? You could never be sure. But you would be a bad sidekick to the Mandalorian if you didn’t sacrifice your lungs for ease of service.

After the first inhale, the chief smiled again, and gestured for you to smoke some more. Ignoring the verbal protest of Mando, you brought the pipe back up to your mouth and puffed again. A bit bigger of a hit this time.

Well, much bigger, judging by the size of the cloud you just breathed out. Surprised, you let out a chuckle, but the irritation in your throat causes your laugh to turn into a hearty cough.

And the crowd cheered.

The chief took the pipe from you and draped his arm over your shoulders, guiding you and Mando behind you into the town. It’s a little town tucked into a small clearing beside a freshwater river and a thick grove of forest, tall and green trees that seem to tower over everything— perhaps the tallest trees you think you have ever seen. On this planet, there are three suns, and they are constantly setting in succession. So, it’s never really nighttime. 

And it seems like these people take advantage of that.

As the chief leads you and your Mandalorian through the stone streets lined with dark, muddy brick houses, your head starts to get light. Like, the tension in your neck loosens and your shoulders go slack. It’s nice— well, it would be, if you didn’t quickly associate it with whatever the chief insisted you smoke. The chief’s arm was still draped over your shoulders and he excitedly explained, in his native tongue, what you assume to be a detailed history of the town. All you could do was feign a smile, probably looking a bit dumb considered you don’t know if your cheeks are numb or just used to your wide grin by now, and nod in fake understanding. The Mandalorian is exactly three and a half paces behind you.

The interpreter is walking beside Mando, re-explaining everything the chief is saying. You aren’t able to listen to both the chief and the interpreter, somehow lacking the mental capacity to focus back and forth between the two, now. The crowd of people disappeared once you smoked from the fancy pipe, save for a handful that you assume are the chief’s servants, so the little troop led by you and the chief eventually hits the end of the main street. 

The chief removes his arm from your shoulders and gives you a nice, hard slap on the back. He says something, while gesturing to a small cottage that bookends the houses lining the road. You’re too busy staring off in the distance, past the green grass that traces the treeline and river. One of the suns is setting, casting a mesmerizing red haze over the tips of the trees, painting the freshwater of the river golden. 

You hear the Mandalorian call your name, and turn to face him.

And he’s standing there, at the door of the cottage the chief is letting you two use for the night, practically glowing with how the setting sun is glinting off of his beskar. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, a second time, but you didn’t hear the first.

You cannot help the unabashed grin that swallows your face, and stumble over to the door. “Never better. Everything is great. You should’ve smoked that shit, too.”

You hear him sigh and he opens the door for you, stepping back so you can walk in first. So you meander in, hand lightly following the wall because you’re suddenly doubting your balance. You find a seat at the small table that’s placed in the middle of the room, and you still can’t stop yourself from smiling. 

The Mandalorian drops a bag at the foot of one of the cots that he must’ve gone back to the Crest to get, but you don’t remember him doing that. And then he drops your night bag at the foot of the other cot, and you wonder when he went and got your bag.

“Thanks,” you croak out, still smiley, and brace your elbows on the table. “D’you have any idea what I smoked?”

“No,” he admits, voice monotone as usual through the vocoder. He pulls out the second chair and sits across from you. The cottage, small but spacious enough for two people to not knock elbows, was alight with soft sunshine filtering in through the numerous windows. Who needs light on a planet that is constantly day?

“How do you feel?” He asks, visor intent on staring you down. 

“Spectacular,” you reply, staring back at the visor. You used to wear a gaudy helmet when you were a trooper, so you’re pretty damn sure you know exactly where his eyes are behind that mask. 

“You look drunk.”

Your smile, instead of faltering, is drawn a little wider and your elbows slip forward on the table until your chest is pressed up against the wood, your chin almost touching the tabletop but your cheeks are squished by your hands, keeping your head up. “I feel like it, too. But, different at the same time, y’know?” 

“No, I don’t know,” the Mandalorian says as he leans back in his chair. His hands are flat against his thighs, and you’re 99% sure he is simply watching you. Out of worry or annoyance, of course you can’t tell, but you’re leaning towards annoyance.

So you tilt your head to the side, staring back, trying your fucking hardest to stifle the stupid smile on your face but you just can’t. “Want me to tell you what you’re missin’?”

Surprisingly, the Mandalorian tilts his head as well, mimicking you. “Enlighten me.”

“Have y’ever got so drunk that you just had to sit there and wait ‘til the booze gets filtered out of your system?” You start, letting your head— so heavy— fall further to the side and land on the table, a nice foundation to ground you. You’re so slumped in your chair your legs are straight, sticking out of the sides underneath the table as you stretch your arms to dangle off of the table. “And yet it’s like, the best part of bein’ sloshed is comin’ up so you don’t want to sober up and y’just— just— sit there, stewing.” 

He lets out a hum, letting you know he’s still politely listening to your ramblings.

Any thoughts in your head blur, images and words swishing around behind your eyes as you try to focus on what you were saying. “And nothin’ hurts or aches and you get to forget ‘bout everything bad you did that day and just look at the stars. Y’get to look at them, and for the first time you see them, see the life they hold and foster and you feel special knowin’ you’re a part of it all.”

There is a moment of silence, or— you think so, but your breathing is a little heavier than usual. The moment draws out, longer, and you’re beginning to wonder if you actually said that stuff out loud or if you simply thought it.

You bolt upright in your chair, cheeks red with embarrassment— but the fucking smile is still on your stupid face. 

“I don’t know what’s up with me right now,” you admit, eyes focused on one of the windowsills off near the door, so you don’t have to look at that helmet and feel the stare behind it. “The chief said that they smoke this stuff all the time and don’t sleep a wink, but I feel super tired.”

In your peripheral vision you see the dreaded helmet glint in the sunlight. He’s looking at you, quizzically. “What do you mean?” He asks. “The interpreter didn’t say that.”

“No,” you agree, looking back at him. You try to focus where you know a face is behind the helmet, but you can’t get the image to clear in your head. It’s all a little blurry at the edges, and your Mandalorian is all edges. “I said the chief said that.” 

“He didn’t speak any Galactic Basic. When did you hear him say that?”

The edges blur some more. “He said it when we were all walking, I dunno. He just said it.”

The Mandalorian looks toward the door, thinking. 

“It must be the ganja,” you offer.

He looks back. “The what?”

“The offering. That’s what the chief called it. But, well, I dunno if that’s what it’s actually named or what they call it,” you say, unable to look at the sharpness and crisp lines that make up the beskar armor. What’s going on with you? You weren’t concerned until now, reaching a hand up to trace your bottom lip and finding that you have control over your face again. No more creepy smiling. “I feel fine, though. From smoking.”

You steal a glance at him and find that he is still, predictably, staring at you. Your cheeks grow hot again, suddenly feeling like a burden to your employer. He is not a babysitter, and you don’t want him to feel like he has to watch over you as you ride this high.

“Really,” you add. “I feel fine. Things look weird, right now, and my head is fuzzy, but it feels good.”

He stares, and you bitterly wonder if that’s all he’s good for.

So you stand up, eyes scanning the room and you notice the heavy curtains tied neatly above each window. “Guess we should sleep,” you say, stepping towards one of the windows to let the curtains down to block out the never-ending sunlight.

But, your ankles feel a little weak, and your balance falters. 

Before your hazy head even registers that you’ve lost your footing, the Mandalorian is at your side, his right arm tucked behind your back, his right hand firmly on your right hip. His left hand is grasping your left upper arm tight enough to bruise, but without his strong grip, you would have crumbled to the floor like a tossed blanket. 

“Are you okay?” He asks immediately, and holds you tighter and hauls you up back onto your unsteady feet. Once the words finally registered in your brain, you briefly thought that he really did sound concerned— masked voice a little higher in pitch than usual.

Your fuzzy head decides the best thing to do in response is laugh as you stood up back on your own. “I’m okay,” you assure, a hint of laughter still in your voice, and you raise your hand to lightly shove him away, not needing his support anymore.

But, since he’s solid as a fucking rock, your hand just brushes against the beskar chestplate uselessly. That causes you to laugh a little more, and he lets go of you once he’s sure you can stand solidly on your own.

“Are you sure?” He asks, still with that higher pitch that the vocoder almost hides. He’s hovering close to your side, ready to catch you again if he has to. 

Curious, you raise your hand and tap your knuckles against his chestplate, and the resounding thud thud makes you smile. “Fuckin’ hardcore, Mando. I’m so jealous of your armor.”

“Yeah, you’re not okay,” he says, but you swear you hear a lilt in his voice, as though he finds you amusing. “You should try to sleep it off.”

He gestures towards one of the beds but you don’t look over to it. Instead, you tap your knuckles against one of his pauldrons. Tink tink. 

“Really,” he insists, and you for sure hear the smile on his face in that one word. “You need some sleep.” He grabs your shoulders and turns you around, slowly, so that you’re facing the bed. 

“Would you close the blinds?” You ask, stumbling forward to the bed. You flounce on top of the blanket, as this planet is quite comfortably warm— or are you just warm? — and let out a heavy sigh. A real bed.

“Of course,” Mando replies, strutting to each of the five windows in this small, quaint cottage and letting down each of the curtains. In the back of your hazy mind, you know he can see in the dark with the HUD in his helmet. The thought makes you slightly jealous, and you wonder if, as you turn to lay on your back in the blackness, if he may be looking at you. You blame the ganja for the fuzziness that overtakes you at the thought.

“Thank you,” you call into the darkness.

You hear his friendly hum somewhere in the room, and hear him sit down at the table again. Truly, the inhabitants of this planet know how to utilize the sun, and how to hide from it, as you open your eyes to stare at the ceiling and see nothing. It is completely pitch black, and you’re impressed.

The feeling of the mattress underneath you is almost too soft. You can’t remember the last time you were able to sleep on a real bed— if you ever had the pleasure. It reminds you of floating in deep salt water, the effort of staying afloat taken away from you as you just let it happen. Currently, you’re not sure if your eyes are open or closed, as it makes no difference. Your breathing is stable, and the haze in your head is tolerable. You must be coming down from the peak, and it’s making you tired.

Quietly, you hear the Mandalorian’s gloved hands grasp metal, but you’re not sure what. You hear something slightly heavy placed on the table.

He calls your name, softly, and unfiltered. 

“Yes?” You reply, breathless. Did he take his helmet off?

“Go to sleep,” he says. His usually gruff voice sounds gentle without the vocoder.

“Okay,” you say, and you do indeed need to close your eyes. The blackness behind your eyelids seems almost darker than the darkness of the room. Unbeknownst to you, you must’ve been extremely tired, because you pass out almost immediately.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Goodbye

Summary- Short piece, drabble. Steve just isnt the same after the snap. Angst.

A/N- I heard Say Something on the radio today and it just stuck, thinking about how lost and heartbreaking it would be to watch something you loved pull away. 

Say something, I'm giving up on you I'll be the one, if you want me to Anywhere, I would've followed you Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small It was over my head I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall I'm still learning to love Just starting to crawl

It all changed once the snap happened, the whole world lost someone, and you... well you felt you lost the world, and he was sitting right next to you every night. Lost was the Steve you knew, your Steve. Once the snap happened, he withdrew into a place you just couldnt reach. The nights he actually did come home, it was a show. Pleasant ‘how was your day’ ‘oh fine, how was yours’ A smile on his face, he would have sex with you and roll off to fall asleep on his side. And this had been going on the better part of the past few years. 

You tried, one night stopping his kisses on your neck and pulling away so he couldnt distract you from what you needed to know. So many times had you tried talking to him, try to find out where he stored his pain, only to be met with lies, lies you wanted to believe. 

“Steve, please... I know were not okay. After everything, just please talk to me.I dont know how to fix this. What is going on with you.” Maybe you changed? You lost loved ones, and the doubts filled your mind, maybe you werent the same.  

A scoff and smile on that clean shaved face, he was meticulous with it every morning. You would stand there watching him take those close to the skin strokes, and they never nicked him. To perfect. 

“Baby everything is okay, Im just tired. The meetings, they wear me out.” Steve returned to take Sams post, helping those traumatized and lost after the snap. At first you believed it had been good for him, would help him. But now you werent so sure. That signature smile as he reached for you, and you were caught again in his hold, folded in the embrace of his arms, and his voice rumbling his chest as he spoke. “You have nothing to worry about, stop fretting.” 

You were lost, even in his assurances. 

Say something, I'm giving up on you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Anywhere, I would've followed you Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride You're the one that I love And I'm saying goodbye…

Another couple years, and the fake happiness faded into some sort of anger, anger with others, with himself, with you. Survivors guilt? You stood in the kitchen watching him, he was so silent as he paced around, the tension rolling off his shoulders, and you half expected Steve to lash out at nothing. He tied himself into more projects, checking on Nat more. ‘She needed the support, she has no one’ You agreed, Nat was your sister basically as well. 

“Let me come to, I actually have some clothes to pass on to her” 

“Dont worry about it Y/N, I will drop them off while there if you get them ready.” 

It was like he didnt want you around, sinking further into his past. You seen him looking at his photos of Peggy, ones that you didnt mind them sitting around the apartment, his history wasnt like others. He had always assured you before that they were a life he left behind, a memory and that you were his today. But seeing his expression, his his gaze lingered till it grew unfocused, maybe today wasnt enough for him. Not anymore. 

Then the day came, he called you from his phone “We have a way to fix it Y/N, we can bring them all back” 

And this was it, you knew that this would end up being your last conversation. How, you didnt know, but already you could feel your heart sinking. 

“Then you have to Steve.... Bring them all back baby” You kept your voice light and excited for him. Maybe... maybe you were wrong. 

“Bruce and Tony are working on it now. I dont know when I will be back.” His voice with more hope then you heard in the past five years. 

“You do what you have to Steve.” 

“I love you, thank you for being My Girl”

“I love you to Cap, go save the world again”

Goodbye....  

That would be the last words you shared. Weeks later a knock on your apartment showed Sam standing there, and he handed you a letter, clearing his throat. “He... he wanted you to have this Y/N”

You stared at the letter, hours ticked by and light turned to shadows in your apartment, and when you did open it, it said exactly what you knew it would. 

‘Dear Sweetheart’ and thats when the goodbye tears started. 

@what-is-your-plan-today​ @p8tn0lish​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @icanfeelastormbrewing​ Yall can feel sad with me. 

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

|Jungkook Scenario| He likes you but you only see him as a friend

A little bit of angst if you squint but with a happy ending ^^

Jungkook was finding it more and more difficult to hide his growing crush on you. But he was worried you still saw him as a kid. You two had been friends for years. You were older than him, a little more serious and studious than him but otherwise your personalities were identical. You both loved to laugh and have fun, you both had a more playful side. You loved to experience and try new things which is probably why two got along so well. You always kept each other on your toes with what you were going to suggest to do next. Theme park? Bungee Jumping? Sky Diving? You pretty much would do everything together. 

It was no wonder Jungkook quickly became attached to you. Not only that but because you were older than him, you seemed to have this natural inclination to take care of him. When he was sick? You were right at his door step with medicine and soup. If he was feeling sad, you were right there with some music and video games to help cheer him up or keep his mind off things. If he was having trouble sleeping, you were always a phone call away and if he was back home you would come over to hold him and he always fell right to sleep.

Yeah, he definitely was in love with you. There was no doubt about that. Everyone seemed to be able to see it except for you. Either that or you just chose to ignore it, not wanting to reject his feelings and hurt him. But it came to a point where he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He had been having trouble sleeping and asked you to come over and you did without hesitation. You had made him some hot tea to help him relax and now you both were laying in his bed, him laying on your chest with his arms wrapped around your middle. When you started playing with his hair he was just suddenly hit with such a fondness that he couldn’t keep it in anymore, so he blurted it out. 

“I love you, y/n.”

“Aw I love you too!” 

“No like... not in a friendly way.” Your hand immediately stops carding through his hair. 

“Jungkook please don’t...”

“I can’t hold it in anymore, I’m sorry. I just needed you to know that I have romantic feelings for you. Is there any chance you feel the same way?” You let your hand fall and sigh while staring up at the ceiling. 

“I’m sorry... but we’ve been friends for so long it’s hard for me to see you as anything else.” Jungkook’s heart sinks and you hear a quiet sniffle escape him and it breaks your heart to know that you are the cause of his pain. 

“What if you did see me as something more?”

“What?”

“What if I make you see that we can be more than friends? What if I show you that I might be young but I can take care of you too. I can be a good man for you. I’m just asking you to give me a chance to do that. If by the end of all this you still feel the same way then I will let it go. But I have to at least try.” It’s quiet for a few moments while you consider his words. Never in a million years did you ever thing Jungkook would like you in a non platonic way. You had only ever seen him as a friend, to see him in a romantic way was difficult to you. He was always just a sweet innocent friend to you. His big doe eyes, sweet bunny smile, they were all very endearing but in a way that was more like you wanted to protect him. But Jungkook was asking you so sincerely you couldn’t say no, you always did have trouble telling him no. You take a deep breath and nod. 

“I think you nodded your head but I’m still laying on you so I can’t see you.” You giggle.

“Yes, Jungkook. I’ll give it a chance. But I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay?”

“Alright, y/n I won’t. But that doesn’t mean I am not going to try my hardest to win your heart.” You place your fingers back in his hair and resume your ministrations. 

“Okay, Kookie. Now get some rest, you have a busy day tomorrow.” 

And try his hardest he did. He started working out more, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you that now whenever he hugged you, you could feel his back muscles underneath your fingertips. He started taking care of you now. Often showing up at your door with dinner for the two of you and wine. One night after one too many glasses of wine you were shamelessly checking him out and he couldn't help the cocky smirk that spread across his face. 

When you two went out together, he insisted on paying and he started taking you to do romantic things together. Like watch the sunset, hold hands walking at the beach, or watching the stars come out together. Overtime you couldn’t deny that maybe your feelings for him were becoming a little less than platonic and that scared you. So you did the only thing you could think of, ask Namjoon and Yoongi. They were very wise even though they were only in their 20′s and you always asked them for advice when you needed it. You stopped by the studio, knowing they were there recording their unit song for their new album. You knocked on Yoongi’s studio door and within a few moments it popped open. He looked surprised to see you. 

“Y/n? What are you doing here I thought you were hanging out with Jungkook today?”

“I am but not until later he’s uh.. actually the reason I needed to talk to you both.” Yoongi steps aside and you wave at Namjoon and sit next to him on the couch. You let out a heavy sigh and press your palms to your eyes.

“Y/n what’s up? Everything going okay with you and Jungkookie?”

“It’s going great. Too great. I think I... might... like him.. in a romantic way?”

“Well it’s about damn time!” Yoongi blurts out. Namjoon shoots him a look and he snaps his mouth shut. 

“What do you mean? I thought you only liked him as a friend?” You remove your hands and look at them both confused.

“He really didn't tell you his big plan?” They both look at each other just as confused as you are and shake their heads. “Wow okay. Well a few weeks ago he confessed his feelings for me. And I told him that I didn’t return his feelings. that way. But then he asked me to give him a chance to see him as something more. So he starts working out more, dressing in tighter clothes to show off those gorgeous muscles and don’t even get me started on those tattoos of his oh my god-” 

“Y/n close your mouth before you start drooling.”  Yoongi teases. You grab a pillow off the couch and throw it at him. 

“Ignore him. Go on.”

“Anyway. So he starts taking me out on these dates. He insist on paying, he takes me to the beach, holds my hand, takes me star gazing. Like he actually would be a really good boyfriend.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know I’m just having a crisis because for years I have only seen him as a friend and now in such a short time they just changed so rapidly I just.. I dont’ know. What if I go back to only having platonic feelings for him? I don’t want to break his heart.” Namjoon considers your words for a few moments before he speaks. 

“Well, honestly you don’t have any way of knowing that unless you try. Jungkook has liked you for a really long time. You should hear the way he talks about you. ‘Nuna is so pretty, and she takes such good care of me. And she’s so sweet to me too. She’d literally be the perfect girlfriend.’”

“And he was so sad when he thought you never would return his feelings. ‘Nuna only sees me as a kid. She’s never going to like me that way hyung.’” Yoongi offers. “He came to me many times venting his frustrations about it all and I did my best to help him. I think I may have pushed him to confess because I told him he’ll never know for sure unless he tries.”

“So should I? Make it official between us then?”

“I think you should. Pardon me if I am overstepping but, have you kissed him yet?” You face turns bright red.

“No..”

“But you’ve thought about it?”

“Muscles.. tattoos... I’ve thought about doing a lot more than that.” Yoongi grabs the pillow you threw at him and tosses it back at you.

“TMI y/n I don’t want to hear your dirty fantasies about my dongsaeng!” 

“Sorry sorry!” 

“Maybe you should. Kiss him I mean. At the end of your date tonight. See if you feel anything. That might be the best way for you to make sure your feelings are genuine.” You smile and nod.

“Okay that’s actually a really good idea. Thank you, Namjoon!” 

“You’re welcome.” 

You’re pacing around your apartment nervously waiting for Jungkook to pick you up. You’re worried for how this is going to go. What if you kiss him and you feel nothing but he feels everything. You don’t want to hurt him. Above all else he is still your best friend and to see him hurting and knowing you’re the cause of it would break you. There is a knock on your door and you take a deep breath, standing up straight ready to take on whatever is thrown your way tonight. The moment you open the door and lay your eyes on him every fear you had goes out the window. 

He’s wearing tight black skinny jeans that hug his thighs nicely. A belt with a white t-shirt tucked in showing off his small waist that you loved so much. The shirt is tight, and little see-through leaving nothing to your imagination. You can see his abs through the shirt. Then your gaze moves to his arms. The sleeve tattoo adorning his arm being your main focus and before you can stop yourself you reach your hand out and run your fingers over them. 

“Um.. y/n?” Your gaze snaps up to his and your breath is taken away by how gorgeous he looks right now. His hair is parted away from his forehead, and he has on a small amount of dark eye shadow that really makes his brown eyes pop.

“I’m sorry I can’t wait until after our date.” You grab him by his shirt and pull him down and press your lips together in an urgent kiss. You feel everything. The way he immediately melts into the kiss, his hands flying up to cup your cheeks and kiss you tenderly. You knew he had to have been waiting a long time for this so the fact that he kissed you so patiently and with care made your heart melt. The butterflies were running rampant in your stomach and your knees were shaking. You felt like you were going to fall over but Jungkook’s strong arms trailed down to your waist and wrapped around there rightly, pulling you closer to him as he deepened the kiss. He tongue swiped along the bottom of your lip and you allowed him entrance without hesitation. Your tongues intertwined together, lips moving against one another and when he finally pulled away he trapped your bottom lip in between his teeth causing you to let out a quiet whimper at the loss of contact. He’s panting, his hair is a mess and his lips are slightly swollen and he looks every bit of beautiful as you could imagine. 

“Wow.. Y/n what was that?”

“What do you mean? Where did you learn to kiss like that?!” Jungkook blushes and looks away. “No no don’t you be getting shy on me now. Where did that confidence come from huh?”

“It’s just.. it’s you. I don’t know. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while I never thought you would kiss me so when it happened I just kind of let my body take over..” 

“That was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever experienced.” His eyes light up.

“Really? So.. what does this mean then?”

“Well.. you definitely accomplished your goal.” 

“Really?! You mean it? You don’t just see me as a friend?”

“I don’t kiss my friends like that, do you?” He blushes and looks away again and you can’t help but find it cute. You place your hand on his cheek and guide his gaze back to yours. “Jungkook.”

“Yes, nuna?”

“Be my boyfriend?”

“Y-yes! Of course. Oh my gosh you have no idea how happy I am right now.” He pulls you into a tight hug and you rest your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat wildly in his chest. You grab one of his hands and place it on your chest where your own heart is beating just as fast. 

“Oh I think I have a pretty good idea actually.”

[buginateacup]

So I finally figured out the best way for me to plot Rings is to write it out like I did before ie like you;re telling a rapid story/juicy gossip which stops me from writing the same scene in different angst/fluff/horny versions

so spoilers for the next few chapters under the cut if you’re interested

So the first night of the honeymoon is...fine. They spend most of it laughing over whatever the fuck was today and agree that staying married is really not an option. Megamind has conveniently forgotten that he agreed to be a superhero and Roxanne winds up laughing in Megamind's arms as he proves that he can in fact dance like Fred Astaire on the balcony of their suite. Its a remarkably fun night all things considered until Roxanne goes to push open the door to what she assumes is the other bedroom of the suite and finds the kind of closet that she's been dreaming of all her life and that means...

There is only one bed. Fuck

Cue panic

And Roxanne getting stuck in her dress 

help

But Megamind has also been having just a hint of a breakdown because dancing with Roxanne made him realise that oh no he's in love with his wife and he hasn't wished he was human for a long time (not true) but it does mean that she's probably not going to be okay with tentacles which is the kind of thing you should probably tell a prospective partner BEFORE you marry them so he's going to sleep on the couch far far away from temptation. And Roxanne is an absolute horny mess because she is absolutely hiding her feelings behind her libido but Megamind is being very considerate of not being THAT KIND of villain which means she feels like he doesn't want her and nothing kills desire faster than not being wanted so that’s its own problem.

Except the couch is kind of squeaky because its leather and he can't sleep and eventually Roxanne comes storming out and demands he come to bed so they can both sleep because he's keeping her awake too.

And they do.

Sleep

Just sleep

And wake up tangled together on Friday morning.

That's not awkward at all

That's also the morning they find out they have the suite for the rest of the weekend, which, delightful. Divorce can definitely wait a couple of days while they ruin Wayne's credit rating. There may be a bit of a moment where Megamind catches Roxanne trying on his mantle over her pjs that will either be incredibly angsty or incredibly hot but that that is not part of the plan we're just pretending that didnt happen, or it did and that is how they decide to be married for the weekend (IDK, working on it). In the mean time there are casino heists to plan and chess and scrabble to be played and evening brings Megamind back to bed with Roxanne because its just easier at this point. And when he wakes up because UNFAMILIAR in the middle of the night he plays with Roxanne's hair at her askance for an hour until they both fall asleep.

Roxanne is more than okay with having someone permanently willing to play with her hair on tap as all people should be.  

On Saturday Roxanne is awake first and spends some time thinking about how tired Megamind looks and how he should really take some time off and they can go to the beach or something after they get back. This should probably have been a clue about her feelings but hey, leave a girl her river in egypt.

This may or may not be the day she also glues him to the headboard of the bed with the decoupage setting on the de-gun while she has a shower.

Megamind genuinely considers gnawing off his own arm because she didnt quite manage to close the door properly and that is its own kind of torture.

They have a bet about paper airplanes and landing them in the fountain. Megamind wins so Roxanne has to show him a trick (Roxanne is not thinking about that thing she can do with her throat nope not at all) which is how he finds out his wife is a master at throwing cocktails and they get more than a little tipsy and he shows her how to fire the degun which is adorable and a little hot and they wind up slowdancing on the balcony to the Something for Kate cover of When the War is Over because I love that freaking song and I'm very attached to that mental image right now.

The second night, they know its all over by tomorrow and they spend a while talking in bed in the dark which is where I will probably make all of you cry with how lonely being the last one is for Megamind and it breaks Roxanne's heart a little to and they have the kind of thing that you just do not talk about in the light of day because if what happens in vegas stays in vegas then what happens that night is like the what happens in vegas stays in vegas of what happens in vegas stays in vegas.

Look it makes sense in context okay

They also both stay clothed so chill.

Sunday morning brings them to the foyer and its bittersweet and lovely and they just want to hold one another but they CANT because there is a PLAN and of course they shouldn’t stay married but oh shit the divorce desk doesn’t open until 11 and its only ten and their chauffer is waiting for them to take them home so shit, that is an issue but its fine because there's a form you can fill out and they will post you the divorce papers.

So great. They head to the airport and get on the plane and oh look there's yesterdays paper and why is there a photo of their wedding certificate on the front page?

And when was megamind going to tell Roxanne he was becoming a hero?

And Megamind had genuinely forgotten about that. Oops

So it turns out all of Metro City has been waiting for this day for YEARS. The paper is full of happy articles and letters to the editor saying we knew those crazy kids had it in them and Carlos has won a considerable amount of money in the pool and has taken his family to disney world.

And well they cant stay married obviously (can they?) but everyone is clearly expecting them to come home as a couple so sure they can fake it for a while before quietly separating except Megamind is not okay with the idea of Roxanne getting kidnapped by anyone else because no one else will be careful enough. And Roxanne is very unimpressed that the defenders council are trying to replace her with an official damsel. She is staying damsel thank you very much Gerry.

This may also become the fic where Roxanne finally sets up a damsel's union.

So they have a bit of a talk and yep practice kissing is definitely a thing they need to work on

a lot

that moment where the copilot walks in on them is a little embarrasing

but they land and oh look there's a car waiting for them to take them to

oh

The Scott's are throwing them a party after all

So Roxanne gets dressed by Minion for the second time in a week which is where she finds out that "Oh sir was always so worried that if he ever found someone the tentacles would be a dealbreaker"

Tentacles

Huh

Where?

Prehensile or?

Oh for fucks sake Roxanne you dont even know what they're for stop it

No but seriously where are they?

Megamind on the other hand has just found out that Roxanne has a tattoo from Metro Man of all people and there is a very awkward/sexy/funny moment in a butler's pantry where Megamind finds out exactly where Roxanne's tattoo is and Roxanne has it confirmed exactly what those tentacles are for after all.

Great so add that to the list of things we're thinking about like his shoulders and his hands and his eyes instead of our feelings.

Roxanne takes great solace in her libido as it is far easier than arguing with her head or her heart.

Or she would be if she was getting laid.

And SURPRISE this party is not the intimate dinner they were promised but a full on party with Megamind's prison uncles set up on a webcam in a theatre which is a lovely cute scene and Roxanne is definitely getting baby stories out of these men.

Megamind uses her as a human shield. Its force of habit and has nothing to do with how much he's blushing at all.

And they get asked to make a speech and Megamind tells everyone exactly how much he loves his wife and Roxanne is almost in tears because what the hell where was this when it was just the two of them? He cant mean any of this clearly and wow that fucking hurts.

And then Roxanne's great aunt helen shows up because of course family was invited and she is an unpleasant woman at the best of times and Roxanne goes full "Fuck off Helen he's my husband and I love him"

and 

shit

she does doesnt she?

Nope straight back to denial on that one. Cannot think about that right now

Because he clearly doesn't feel the same way or he'd have told her personally, not to a crowd of people. And Megamind thinks she was exaggerating because he’s also thinking where was this in vegas? And Roxanne is forcibly reminded she can't be the damsel if she's married to the hero so she is never going to see him again unless its for an interview which means she has to spend the rest of her life chasing him down in the van with fucking hal and ow ow ow

So they leave the party and Megamind drops her home only for Roxanne to find her apartment full of boxes as she is also being kicked out of her apartment as she is no longer acting damsel.

So she grabs a bag and tracks down the lair and oh hi husband can I live with you or not?

Hi wife yes please say (stay forever please stay forever) which is where we get the SECOND there was only one bed because half the lair was demolished in the last big battle and there is no space for another room right now and of course they have to keep sharing a room or Minion will get suspicious

this bed is much smaller than the giant orgy sized one in vegas

good thing they’re already getting used to waking up in one another’s arms

Roxanne does manage to ask for a small room to use as an office because she needs somewhere to cry and she's used to living alone but wow does this feel like moving in...

And that brings us to chapter 6ish?

[forever-more-never-again]

Skeletons in My Closet (A Request)

Requested: @nat-blossom​

Word Count: 2237

Pairings: Natasha X Reader, Natasha X OC

Warnings: Heartbreak?

Request: Natasha x Fem!Reader Nat and reader have been together for a while and are also married, have a 2 or 3 year old daughter, everything was great until someone from nat's past (maybe an ex) returns and meets Nat at a Tony party, this person brings problems to nat's wedding, they have a big fight, but nat reconciles with the reader in the end. a lot of angst and fluff.

A/n: I’m sorry this took so long! And I didn’t end it with fluff like you asked...pls don’t hate me! I just didn’t want to wait longer and I ran out of steam near the end. I still hope you enjoy it though... 

Masterlist

“Momma!”

The shrill excited shriek rang through the common place of the Avengers tower where you sat on a couch reading a book.

Setting the book down, your place marked carefully, you smiled as a rush of [h/c] collided into your legs.

“Save me Momma!” Your little girl, your bundle of joy, stared up at you with eyes laughing in play.

Giggling, you stood and hefted her into your arms, “Now, what am I saving you from [D/n]?”

The answer came in a sashay stroll as your gorgeous fiance entered the room. A wicked playful smile on her blood red lips.

Your daughter screamed, her tiny hands clinging to your shoulders as she tried to bury herself into your heart.

“This Tickle Monster seems to have lost her prey. I wonder if she can persuade [Y/n] to help her.” Natasha mused, stepping closer as your daughter continued with stuttering giggles and squeals.

You smiled back at your fiance, your fingers crawling up your giggling daughters sides until they reached her stomach.

“You can’t escape!” With a laugh, you blew a giant raspberry on your daughter’s cheek as she struggled to get out of your hold as you tickled her. 

Natasha coming behind and helping in the playful torture as she added her fingers to the tickling.

“Stawp! Stooop! Momma! Mommy! No more!” Your daughter screamed, and you finally stopped when you saw a tear in her eye.

Hoisting her to your hip, you pulled Natasha close and kissed her softly, “It seems you both had fun today at the fair.”

Natasha giggled against your lips, her arm going to wrap around your waist, mindful of [D/n], “Yeah we had a lot of fun. Want to tell your Momma what we found?” She asked the toddler in your arms.

Her green eyes, just like Natasha’s, lit up as she looked at you, her chubby hands waving in the air, “Pretty Flowers!”

Natasha laughed and elaborated, “We found a florist who is willing to do our bouquets and pins and stuff. Her rates were good and she is willing to sign a NDA.”

A sound of excitement escaped you as you dug around for your phone in your pocket. 

Pulling up an app, you scrolled until you found what you wanted.

“Okay Florist is checked off. Now all we need is to figure out the officiant and we’ll be ready for next week.”

Natasha nuzzled her nose against your cheek, humming in contentment. Your daughter giggling and deciding to copy her Mommy.

You felt your heart swell with love at these two people in your life. Your loving fiance who had recruited you into the Avengers and who you have been dating for the past five years, and the adorable three year old that had a mix of yours and Natasha’s DNA courtesy of Dr. Banner’s medical expertise. 

The next few days passed in a blur of wedding preparations. Natasha decided to wear a cutting black and red suit, and you wore a white dress with red accents.

Your adorable daughter was the flower girl and you had managed to talk Tony out of having an actual bear as the ring bearer. 

“Oh I’m so nervous!” You paced back and forth in one of the rooms in the tower. Wanda smiled softly, effortly elegant as she sat on a loveseat in the bridesmaid outfit.

“You and Natasha have been dating for years, [Y/n], you have nothing to worry about. She loves you.”

You chuckled, knowing Wanda was right.

“Are you guys ready?” Tony stuck his head in the room, his smirk softening when he saw you in your dress.

Dusting off non-existent specks from your dress, you let Tony take your arm.

When you had asked Tony to walk you down the aisle, you had been beyond nervous. You should have known he would jump at the chance. 

Now, with your arm tightening on his, you took a deep breath before nodding to the attendants at the double doors leading into the Tower’s ballroom.

Wanda stepped through, your daughter having gone down the aisle earlier.

“You got this [Y/n].” Tony placed his other hand atop yours for a moment.

And then the doors opened and white light blinded your vision for a moment.

When it cleared, your throat closed up tight. Standing up at the altar, next to Steve who was smiling brightly, Stood your bride-to-be.

Natasha was radiant. There were no other words to describe her. Her long red hair pulled up into an elegant bun. Makeup flawlessly drawing out her vibrant green eyes. Her suit hugging her curves. Standing up there with an ease that you envied.

The music was just background noise to your heartbeat. Thumping painfully in your chest. 

And then suddenly you were standing right in front of her, her eyes big and bright staring at you with all the love that was in her body.

The bubble you were in burst and the sound rushed in. Vision trying to get the guests to quiet down so he could start the vows.

Sparing a glance to the crowd, you spotted the team that wasn’t part of the wedding party, a news channel with their cameras set up in the back, and several reporters amongst the few civilians who had been background checked and invited to the wedding of a lifetime. 

But Natasha captured your attention once again. 

“Momma looks so pretty!”

Your daughter’s innocent attempt at a whisper to Wanda, that ended up being almost a shout, had the crowd chuckling.

Vision hummed, “We are gathered here today to witness the union between Natasha Romanoff and [Y/n] [Y/l/n]. Already seen as married into each other’s eyes, today they will be married in the eyes of the law.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you struggled to keep them at bay as you stared at your soon-to-be wife. 

There was a gentle hum as the crowd watched in rapt attention to the marriage.

“If anyone should oppose to this union, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.”

Silence. You just wanted to kiss Natasha and be dont with the wedding already. You wanted your wife in your bed. You wanted your daughter to have a whole family already.

You had tried to convince Vision to skip this part of the vows, but the Droid was adamant that he had to follow the rules he agreed to when he became a certified officiant. You thought it was a waste of time, no one was going to object anyways.

As Vision opened his mouth to continue after waiting the required minute...the Doors slammed open.

“No!”

A collective gasp from the crowd and you and Natasha both jumped into fighting position at the sudden noise and intrusion.

A man strode angrily up the aisle, his hair messy and panting as if he had run blocks to get here.

Tony, from his seat in the front, stood up and glared back towards the door where guards were running to catch up to the mystery man.

Still in poise to strike should this turn dangerous, you turned your head to look at Natasha, and was surprised to see her out of her strike pose. Instead standing ramrod straight with a look of subtle horror in her viridian eyes.

Turning the other way, you saw that Wanda had already stepped in front of your daughter, one hand clutching hers in preparation should things go south.

“And just who do you think you are to come in here and disrupt this beautiful ceremony?” Steve stepped forward, his build an imposing figure, even for those who would not know him as Captain America right away.

The man barely spared him a glare as he walked right up to Natasha and grabbed her wrist in a vice grip.

“You are not marrying anyone! You hear me Natalia! You’ve had your fun, but now your little act of rebellion is over. Now, let’s go!”

You expected Natasha to fight back, to ask what the man’s problem was, to do something!

So you were shocked when, instead of doing that, she took a step to follow the man.

“Natasha?”

“Mommy?”

At you and your daughter’s voice, Natasha jerked as if waking up from a trance and turned her wide, scared eyes onto you.

Stepping up beside her, you tilted your head at the man who was fuming, “Who is this?”

Natasha opened her mouth to respond, when the man cut her off, jerking her wrist causing her to stumble into him. “I’m Her Fiance.”

The crowd gasped and pandemonium broke out. The reporters shouting questions, the news reporters bringing the cameras in closer.

Tony, Steve and the rest of the team began damage control and ushered you and your daughter with Wanda out a back door.

You lost visual contact with Natasha and felt numb as that sentence ran through your head again and again.

Fiance.

Five years. Five years you had spent with Natasha and not once had she brought up a past relationship, much less a proposal.

Once away from the noise, in a small room away from the general public. You allowed your knees to falter. Falling to the ground, you felt wetness on your cheeks, dimly realizing they were tears.

And then you panicked, looking up at Wanda, “My Daughter?”

Wanda nodded her head and you saw your daughter looking confused and scared behind her.

You sighed, and then “I need to speak to Natasha. I need to hear her side of the story. I need to know-”

Wanda interrupted gently, her hands coming down to rest on your shoulders, “You need to calm down right now and be here for your daughter. I will find out what happened once the team has given the all clear. Okay?”

You nodded and rose to your feet, your wedding dress now scuffed and crumpled.

Wanda spared you a look of reassurance before she opened the door slightly and left to see what was happening.

Gently you took your daughter and lifted her up to your hip, cradling her softly.

“Who was that man Momma? Why was he being mean to mommy?” Your daughter’s soft voice cracked your heart. She was so gentle, and sweet. She didn’t deserve this confusion and fear that was in her voice.

You hummed, “I’m not sure sweetie, but your mommy is strong, and we’re going to figure this out. Okay?”

Your daughter didn’t look convinced, “What about the wedding. Momma and Mommy didn’t say the magic words.”

You hadn’t. I do. The words that, you explained to your daughter before the ceremony, were magical and would make all three of you one big family.

All you could do was try to soothe your daughter, “It’ll be alright.” But even you could hear the doubt in your words.

When Wanda did come back into the room, it was with a subdued look and a strange silence coming from the room behind her.

Walking past her, your daughter still in your arms, you reentered the ballroom.

It was now empty. Seats overturned. Flower petals and displays scattered around the floor. 

Standing at the altar was the team minus Natasha. All looking a weird mixture of worn out, confused, angry, and upset.

“[Y/n].” It was Steve who brought everyone’s attention to you as you walked up to them.

Tony smirked at you, but it fell into a soft smile.

Vision looked beyond guilty as Wanda floated over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“It wasn’t your fault Vis.”

Vision made no move to show that he heard you.

Bucky walked over and held out his arms. Silently, you transferred your daughter over to her Uncle.

Your body slumped as if a weight was suddenly put on your back, “So what do we know?”

Steve straightened, going into Captain mode, “In the ensuring chaos, we lost visual on Natasha and the man. Security footage shows him fighting his way past the guards. We ran his face through facial recognition and got a hit.”

Steve had all of your attention, your eyes narrowed in on him. 

“A man by the name of Josef Young. Ties to the Russian Mafia and the FBI believes he is responsible for several high profile murders in the past years.”

You ran a hand down your face in frustration, “So the only link between him and Natasha that we have is Russia.”

Steve swallowed audibly.

You narrowed your eyes, “What.”

Before he could answer, the large ballroom doors slammed open and Natasha ran up to you in a flurry of black and red.

“[Y/n].”

“Who was that man Natasha?”

Natasha shook her head, her eyes frantic, “He was no one. He’s gone now. He was just a skeleton in my closet. Let’s finish the ceremony… I love you.”

You took a step backwards. Ignoring the urge to flinch at the wounded look in Natasha’s eyes.

Your hands fumbled desperately until your daughter was back in your arms.

“I..Tell me the truth Natasha. If you can’t do that...then I think we’re done.”

You waited. The silence was suffocating. 

Your eyes glistened with unshed tears, “That’s what I thought.” 

And with that you took off towards your room in the tower, the familiar weight of your daughter the only things keeping you grounded.

FOREVER Taglist:

@sxph-t​ @mialeelavellan​ @rainydaysrnevergrey​ @platonic-plots​ @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi​ @queenbbarnes​ @mythixmagic​ @chas-z​ @thefridgeismybestie​ @strangersstranger​ @princess-evans-addict​ @rororo06​ @timelordhunterandmysterysolver​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx 

Natasha Taglist:

@ludwigvonbaethoven​ @hanjiscience-slut @kitten-q-p​ @morbid-gaymer​ @honeybadgerwhodoesntcare​ @sunnyandtwisty​ @zoeyknight​ @kurlyafro​ @thewomanofwonder​ @5aftermidnight​ @myfemininelesboworld​ @gaytrashgoblin​ @marvelb00kwolf​ @multifandom-imagines-things​ @turtlelurky​

Avengers Taglist:

@jadepc​ @marvel-is-a-mood​ @brynnloh​

[kweebtrash]

Eres Mia (M)

Messy Chapter 8

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness

Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum

Word Count: 21,103K

A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

The Boys Group Chat

Taeyong: 5

Lucas: what???

Ten: 5 what?

Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.

Lucas: HOLY FUCK

Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

Ten: how?? When??? What???!

Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.

Lucas: how tf did u manage that??

Lucas: i thought you hated her

Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit

Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything

Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch

Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong

Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up

Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble

Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???

Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here

Ten: i cannot believe

Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately

Johnny: wtf is going on

Taeil: oooooooffff this is….

Ten: the tea brews itself

Johnny: Taeyong what did you say

Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you

Yuta: dude this is…

Johnny: don’t go near her again

Johnny: i mean it

Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you

Taeyong: yall arent even official

Johnny: i don’t care

Johnny: dont touch her

Yuta: johnny quit it

Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself

Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn

Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.

Johnny: im not jealous

Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party

Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time

Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.

(Johnny has left the chat)

Ten: fuck

Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous

Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think

Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me

Lucas: she flirts with everyone

Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?

Taeyong: who cares

Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs

Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will

Yuta: WHOA WHOA

Yuta: you mean try and date her?

Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea

Taeyong: i never said id date her

Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens

Taeyong: thats all im saying

–

It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.

He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.

By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.

His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.

“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”

My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”

“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”

I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.

I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”

He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”

“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.

I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”

“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”

I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”

“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”

“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”

“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”

He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”

“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”

“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”

“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”

“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”

He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”

“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”

“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”

“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”

He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”

I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”

“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.

I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”

“Clearly it fucking does.”

“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”

“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”

“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”

I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.

“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.

“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”

“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”

I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.

He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.

“I-im sorry, ok?”

No you’re not.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”

Well it is now, so fuck you.

“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”

I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?

“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”

I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.

“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”

By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.

“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”

That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!

“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”

It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.

“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”

I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.

I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.

“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”

My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”

“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.

“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”

“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”

“W-what?” I asked, stunned.

“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”

I nodded. “It’s a start…”

He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”

“I know, princess. I know.”

“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”

“Ok…” he said simply.

I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”

“I’m not yours…”

“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.

“Ass…”

“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.

I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.

“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.

“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”

“But why does it have to be like this?”

“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”

“Call what off?”

“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”

“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”

He nodded.

“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”

He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.

“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”

“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”

“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.

“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.

“Shut. Up.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”

There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.

“No. I-i cant…”

“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.

He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”

“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”

“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”

“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”

“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.

I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.

He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.

It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.

My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”

“The condom broke.” He trembled.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”

I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.

“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”

“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”

“DON’T YELL AT ME.”

“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.

“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”

“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”

“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”

“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”

“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.

“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.

“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.

He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”

I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”

“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”

“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”

“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.

“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”

I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”

I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

“Doyoung, I need you please.”

“Be right there.”

He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.

“’M leavin’.”

“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”

He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.

He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”

“You liked it…” he whispered.

“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”

“That’s emotional manipulation.”

“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”

“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.

“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”

“And now you’re sticking up for him?”

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”

“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”

“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”

“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”

“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”

I pulled away from Doyoung completely.

“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”

“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”

I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.

–

Johnny’s POV

“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.

I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.

My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.

I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.

What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?

I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?

Fuck.

The stupid condom.

I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.

I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.

A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey

I typed in my simple response quickly.

Hey

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over

Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?

What for babe?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇:  we need to talk.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap

Talk about what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it

Give me like 15 mins. Im busy

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.

I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…

–

Eri’s POV

I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.

“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.

“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”

“Oh…” he said, dejected.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”

“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”

I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!

“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.

“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.

“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”

“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”

“You better start talking asap, bro!”

“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“

"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”

I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”

I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.

“Eri…is this really that serious?”

I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”

“What do I get in return?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”

“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.

“Anything.”

“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”

“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.

“Yeah, i’ll do it.”

“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”

“A motel, huh?”

“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.

“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”

“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”

“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”

He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”

I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”

“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”

“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.

“How much do you know?” I asked.

“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”

“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”

“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”

“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”

I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”

“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.

I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”

“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.

“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.

“I knew it, pig.”

“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.

“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.

“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.

“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”

He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”

“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”

I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”

He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”

“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”

“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”

I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”

“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.

“What?”

“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?

My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.

“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”

“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.

Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.

–

I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.

My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.

Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.

His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”

“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”

He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.

“Do I…do I look okay?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”

“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.

“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”

I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.

I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.

“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”

“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”

“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”

I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”

“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”

I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”

He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”

I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”

“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”

“Trust me, it definitely is.”

–

“ERIANNALISSE!”

I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”

“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.

“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.

I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”

He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”

“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”

My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?”  He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.

“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”

“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.

“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.

“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”

I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”

“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.

“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.

“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”

I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pastel pink.” He answered.

“Favorite food?”

“Pizza…and pasta.”

“What instruments can she play?”

“Guitar, and she sings.”

“What’s her favorite anime?”

“Sailor Moon.”

Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”

Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”

“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”

“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”

“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”

“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”

“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.

Dani shrugged. “I mean…”

I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”

“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”

I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.

“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.

“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”

“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.

“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”

I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”

“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”

Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”

“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.

I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.

Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.

The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.

“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”

“She looks nice.”

“She’s a little shit but I love her.”

“I could say the same about you.”

I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”

“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.

“Right…yeah, um…ok.”

“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.

“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”

He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?

“So…” he said.

“Are you gonna like…move?”

“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”

“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”

“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”

“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”

“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.

“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.

Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”

“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.

He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”

“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”

I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.

“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.

He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???

He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”

Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”

“I’m her boy-”

“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”

Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.

“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.

“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.

–

Johnny’s POV

That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.

I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.

"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s Eri?”

“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.

“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You’re fuck buddies?”

“Yes.”

“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”

I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.

“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”

I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”

I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”

“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”

“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”

“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”

“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”

“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”

I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”

“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”

“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”

“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.

I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.

“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.

“Johnny!” She exclaimed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”

“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”

She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”

“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”

“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”

“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”

“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.

“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?”

“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”

“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”

“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”

“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”

I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.

“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.

“Do you want to find out?”

“M-maybe.”

I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”

She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.

–*

Eri’s POV

I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.

Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.

“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.

“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”

“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.

“That’s what I meant.”

“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”

“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.

“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.

“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”

I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”

He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.

“Open.” He demanded.

“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.

“Suck harder, Eri.”

I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.

He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.

“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.

“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”

I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”

He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”

He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.

I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.

“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.

He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.

"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.

He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”

I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”

He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.

I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.

He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.

My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.

Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”

I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.

“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”

I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.

His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”

He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.

But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.

–*

Johnny’s POV

I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?

She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.

“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.

“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”

“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.

“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”

She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”

“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”

“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”

I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”

She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”

“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.

“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”

Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”

“When?!”

“What do you mean when!?”

“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”

“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.

“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I’ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”

“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.

“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”

I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.

“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”

“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”

“JUST DO IT.”

I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”

“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”

“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”

‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”

I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”

She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”

“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.

–

We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.

I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?

“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.

“Talk. Talk now.”  was all he said.

I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.

“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”

[linoloverimagines]

Burn (MIN YOONGI X READER ANGST) (inspired by the song “Burn” in hamilton)

Dating a non-famous person in the K-pop industry almost seemed like taboo especially if an Idol was dating a foreigner. So, being in a relationship with Min Yoongi one of the biggest boy groups in the industry was a bit of a challenge.

You weren’t a celebrity inside or outside of Korea, you weren’t anything special in the public eye, so getting hate may be heavier for you than other famous people dating idols. Since Yoongi was concerned about your safety and you understood the repercussions if the public found out, you agreed to keep your relationship a secret.

You two have been dating for more than a year now and for the first few months it felt amazing. It helped that you landed a job in big hit as a human resource officer, so you both always had the chance to hang out with each other within the walls of the building.

He would sneak you in his genius lab where you guys would eat, talk, and make love.

It felt perfect.

It came to a point where he asked you to moved into his apartment, you were skeptical at first because paparazzis might spot you with him, but he assured you that the complex was safe and private for celebrities.

He would also bring sample tracks home sometimes and make you listen to them. Seeing him being proud of his work brought happiness in your heart, but sometimes you wished he wasn’t such a workaholic.

You wished that he would have more time with you at home or even in the office, but you couldn’t be selfish since this is his dream and this is what he loves to do.

One day he made you go into his office to listen to a track, you were surprised by the unusual sweet melody and lyrics of the song. When he said that it was written about you and for you, your heart fluttered and you wondered how lucky you were to have such a hardworking yet sweet partner.

As months past by, you noticed that Yoongi comes later than he usually does and in some days he doesnt even go home.

You always tried to be supportive so you kept on getting updates from him or the other boys if he was fine or eating well.

When BTS finally went for a short hiatus, so the members could take a well-deserve break, Yoongi still worked on new tracks in his office. Luckily, one of their managers managed to kick him out and convince him that he needs to go home and rest.

He opened the door to your apartment and gave you a small smile “Hi.”

You ran up to hug him tightly “You’re home early!”

“Yeah....Sejin-nim managed to convince me to rest.”

“That’s great! I’ve missed you so much” you bury your head on his chest

“Ive missed you too, Jagi” he kissed your head

————————-

“Namjoon said that we needed to take a break from our break because we were offered to collaborate with a girl group. He said that it could help our group grow even more...” Yoongi explained why he had to come home late again

“It’s okay, i understand” you sighed “oh, by the way i have to go home next week... there was an emergency regarding my niece and they need me there. I’ll only be gone for a few days though” you informed

“Alright, be safe okay?” He kissed your forehead

—————-

“Y/N, isnt this Yoongi?” Your mom points to an article from a tabloid site on her phone

‘BTS’ Suga seen together with Red Velvet’s Joy in a restaurant’

You laughed it off “it’s probably just for publicity, mom. Their groups are making a collab song”

“Hmm...if you say so, but always remember what i said before i agreed to your relationship.” your mother looks at you with concern

You nodded

You shrugged off the article because it was probably nothing and you trust Yoongi too much to worry.

———————-

“I’ve missed you guys so much and i hope little ______ will be alright, keep updating me alright?” You say to your mom while hugging her goodbye

“You take on your flight, okay?” She kissed your forehead

While waiting for your plane to board, you decided to check new updates about your boyfriend’s boyband on their webpage. Hewas always too busy to update you or even just check up on you, but you understood because you knew how important music was to him.

‘ BTS’ Suga publicizes relationship with Red Velvet’s Joy’ written on the front page of their official site

Your heart dropped, but you needed to be rational. Maybe it was just a scheme to get their fans to get along?

You clicked on the article and saw a video pop up and in the video was your dear Min Yoongi holding hands with Joy.

Your heart sank even further

“I don’t know how or when, But it all just felt right when she finally said yes” Yoongi let out his gummy grin

Thoughts started to plagued your mind

“How can he do this to me?”

“Why did he do this to me?”

Your eyes were blurry with tears, but you were interrupted by a man who tapped you on the shoulder

“Uh, miss i think it’s time to board the plane”

You quickly snap out of your state “oh yes yes, thank you.”

—————————-

During the entire plane ride, you couldn’t sleep. All you did was think of the different things that you could do to Yoongi such as choke him to death, yell at him, or just quietly exit out of his life. You didn’t know what to do and you actually wished that the plane would just crash, so you wont have to feel that hurt anymore.

When you finally arrived at the apartment complex, you looked like your soul was drained out of your body. The flight was 11 hrs and you haven’t had any sleep nor have you eaten anything since you saw the dreadful article.

You opened the door and you were greeted with familiar laughs from familiar male voices mixed with the giggles from females.

Ahhh, the whole boyband was here along with their new girlfriends, including the person your man replaced you with. Perfect.

The laughs stopped when they saw you come in, you scanned the room and there he was sitting next to Joy, looking lovely and bright while you looked like an absolute mess.

“Y/N.” Yoongi immediately stood up and walked over to you.

You could feel your tears welling up again, but you tried to keep your composure.

You couldn’t even mutter a single word without breaking down, all you could do was sigh.

You walked pass him and dragged your luggage to your shared bedroom and he quickly followed.

“Why did i even come here?” You thought

“I can explain everything, I promise” he blurted out

You motioned your hand signaling him to keep talking

“I don’t love her, but i needed to do it for the promo. I’m sorry....” he muttered

“Do you know what my mother said? When you asked me to be yours? She said ‘be careful with that one, love. He will do what it takes to survive.’ No wonder you kept me a secret, you and your words flooded my senses, your sentences left my defenseless! But you’re more Obsessed with your legacy than you are in love with me! You are paranoid on how the public with perceive you if they found out you were dating someone irrelevant!” You cried out

“You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our lives and in wanting to achieve more, you have ruined our relationship!” You added as you bawled out your anger and hurt.

“Min Yoongi, I can’t do this....” You dragged your luggage out of the apartment as he tried to chase after you

“y/n... wait please.” He begged grabbing your wrist

“You are very talented y’know that? You can still succeed without pretending to date someone famous. I-I just cant let myself become this hidden part of your life that you’re ashamed of...” you shook his grip off

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of you, it’s just that... Agh, i dont, agh” he struggled to find the right words

“Goodbye, Min Yoongi”

You walked away and this time, he didn’t follow you anymore.

[psychicrunawaybouquet-aus]

Hey guys, so like once a year I write something Spideychelle. Be warned I don’t proof read. This also happens to be a tacky combination of angst and fluff. Enjoy.

Even after all this time, she still frantically checked the news every night, she still followed Spider-Man alerts, she still turned up the radio at the mention of his name she still wore her webbed spider necklace every day without fail. Eventually she had begun to wonder if it was worth it. She had left him to escape Spider-Man, and yet she everywhere she looked, he was there. She still loved him, she still loved Spider-Man and there was nothing she could do to escape it. Her 3 month hiatus in Europe only reminded her of when they were young, when they first fell in love. Her 6 months spent completely dedicated to work and nothing else only served as a distraction. But by the time she had accepted that worrying about Spider-Man and being with peter was better then worrying about Spider-Man and being without peter, it was too late. There was a girl, apparently her name was Gwen, she was small and feminine and delicate and According to Ned she was a teacher that volunteered her spare time saving obscure African animals. Gwen it seemed, was everything MJ could never truly be for Peter.

So she moved on. She dated sporadically but it was mostly empty. And then one night her phone rang, it’s insistent buzzing waking her from sleep abruptly. She didn’t even check the caller Id she just sleepily answered. ‘What is it?’ She demanded weakly her voice clouded with sleep.

There was an extremely small, anxious breath that immediately caused MJ’s nervous system to kick into gear. ‘Mj, something happened.’ It was the voice of Ned Leeds, but it sounded broken, concerned afraid. ‘What happened?’ She heard herself say her heart in her throat. ‘It’s Peter... he, it was bad MJ. It’s bad.’

‘Tell me straight Leeds.’ She heard herself say in a harsh cold manner.

‘They don’t think he is going to make it.’ MJ nearly dropped her phone but she forced herself to listen to the other end of the line. ‘I thought you might want to be here. In case...’ Ned’s voice broke before he paused and continued. ‘There is a car on the way. We’re upstate, it’s ugh. It’s up to you.’

She couldn’t find her voice, all she could hear was vacant ringing of blood rushing in her ears. She was shaking, she was sure that she was going to throw up. But she needed to go. ‘I’ll be there.’ Was all she said before hanging up.

....

The upstate facility was much the same as she had remembered it. Cold, commercial, an echo of heroes that had sacrificed their lives. Peter couldn’t join the dead. Not yet. He was too full of life, too good too... she couldn’t go any further. Yet her feet kept moving as she was guided through the concrete hallways until eventually she was met with a small waiting area occupied by a pale looking May Parker, a puffy eyed Ned Leeds and a small terrified looking blonde who she knew to be Gwen Stacey.

Suddenly MJ felt awkward, out of place. She had no right to be here. She shouldn’t have come. But before she could consider her mistake much further May was striding towards her pulling her into a crushing hug. She let her arms hold May, she tried to be as strong as she could for a woman who has lost so much. May released the embrace allowing Ned to pull MJ into a crushing hug. ‘He’s still here. Thanks for coming.’ Ned whispered to her.

Thanks for coming. The words rang around her mind over and over again as she gently smiled at Gwen and took a seat in the small room. It could have been hours or minutes of silence before the doctor emerged. She heard him say that Peter was in an induced coma, that they didn’t know if he would come out or even make it through the night. That he may be able to hear them, that they should say their goodbyes just in case...’

Gwen and May both burst into tears and Ned’s head simply hangs low. But MJ bites the inside of her mouth. She has no right to cry. She let him go for this exact reason, she let him go to protect herself. She will kill him herself before she lets him die like this.

So they all go in, one by one and utter their private goodbyes to Peter Parker, and MJ, she goes last. She didn’t even want to go in at all but May gives her this strange look of understanding. She seems to say if you don’t say goodbye you will regret it.

So she walks in the room with beeping machines and flashing instruments and as soon as the door closes she sinks to her knees and feels her body rack with sobs. Peter looks so fragile in the bed. He’s bruised and sallow and it takes her 3 whole minutes before she can will herself to stand up and approach him.

But when she does, she takes a seat at his side and brushes the back of his hand with her fingers selfishly. He isn’t hers. But she allows herself to imagine that he is. She allows herself to feel the love she has been denying herself for two years and the emotions are unbearable within her own body.

‘Peter.’ She murmurs likely to no one. She isn’t sure if he is there anymore but she tries anyway. ‘I’m so sorry. You’re so bloody stupid but so aM I’ She took a shaky breath before she moved closer to him on the bed, clasping his still but warm hand. ‘I still love you so much.’ She admitted. ‘ I’ve loved you everyday since I was fourteen and I don’t want to know a world that doesn’t have you in it.’ Her body collapsed on itself until she was resting her forehead against his. ‘Please Peter, I love you.’

But he didn’t move, he didn’t answer, she didn’t really expect him too. But the fear and disappointment in seeing his eyes still closed, his face still vacant. It was horrifying. So she turned around and walked away, briskly wiping her eyes before she left the room.

....

They waited all night. Gwen falling in and out sleep in her chair. May patting her hand gently. Ned tapping his leg. MJ sat by herself digging her nails into her palms to keep herself from crumbling. Until she found herself getting up and walking towards the kitchen. She made an espresso and downed it, splashing water in her face to keep herself alert.

‘MJ.’ May called. ‘He’s brainwaves have changed, they think he’s waking up.’

She and May ran the way back to Peter’s room halting abruptly outside of it. Waiting for the doctors inside to pass on information.

May held her hand so tight, they were crushing each other. MJ felt as though her breath had stopped all together and that her heart was going to beat so hard it would escape her chest.

Eventually the doctor emerges. He leads with ‘Mr. Parker appears to be waking up we think it’s because of ....’ MJ only hears that he is waking up. She immediately wonders if he would be ok, if he would be safe and she was over whelmed with her thoughts. He isn’t hers. She reminds herself. So she recesses to the corner of the waiting room. They only let May in Peters room anyway.

Pepper Potts offers to let them stay. They all agree and MJ begins to realise that she has probably over stayed her welcome. But she can’t leave until she knows that he is ok. A shower does her good, and as she sits in the bland waiting room again, the waiting seeming to never end, she finds herself alone with Gwen. May was still locked in Peters room, Ned had gone to rest, so here they were.

‘Hi MJ.’ Gwen said in a sweet but tired tone. ‘I’m Gwen.’

‘Hi Gwen.’ MJ said softly. ‘I’m sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.’

Gwen offers her a sad half smile. But changed the topic speaking suddenly she said. ‘I didn’t know about Spider-Man. I mean, I didn’t know that he was... is Spider-Man. It’s a lot to process.’

MJ felt a wave of empathy for the blonde opposite her. She knew exactly how she felt. But to learn Peters identity and nearly loose him all in one day. Well that must have been a lot.

‘I’m sorry.’ MJ says stiffly. ‘That must be very overwhelming for you.’ She has never been a particularly motherly or caring woman, especially in the company of strangers, but she tried to make her voice sounds genuine.

Gwen leans forward in her seat. Her face open and vulnerable. ‘Peter always spoke so highly of you MJ, I can see why.’ She paused before she continued. ‘Did he ever.. did he tell you the truth?’

And MJ knows what she is asking, she wants to know if Peter trusted MJ and not her. Part of MJ wants to bask in the knowledge that that part of Peter was just for her, that their relationship was special but she suppresses it.

‘No he didn’t. I knew but only because I figured it out back in high school, before he and I even...’ She cuts herself off, there was no need to go down that road.

‘Well I feel stupid now.’ Gwen chuckled.

‘No dont.’ MJ said quickly. ‘He used to be terrible at hiding it. But to be honest I think If he had of been able to keep it from me he would have, he always wants to protect the people closest to him. He wouldn’t have wanted to lie to you, he’s just stupid and would have done it to protect you or whatever.’

‘I don’t feel very protected now.’ Gwen said looking down at the floor. ‘I feel like maybe what I thought we had wasn’t even there at all.’

......

Peter officially woke up at 1:30 pm 30 hours after his accident. May had wiped the blood off of his face and the doctors had run some preliminary tests. He appeared to have no brain damage, no memory loss, no permanent injuries that wouldn’t heal with time. All thanks to that spider bite.

MJ was ready to leave, safe in the knowledge that he would be ok. But then apparently he had asked to see Ned and Gwen and apparently her as well. So once again she went last. And as she entered she felt a strange mix of immense relief to see Peters eyelids blinking, his arm moving his chest rising and falling as well as intense fear. After two years of silence what could she say to him? After her emotional admission on his death bed how could she look at him?

‘Hey MJ.’ Peter said weakly. ‘Hey dork.’ She said taking a seat next to him, forcing herself to look into his lively youthful eyes. ‘Sorry I scared everyone’ he said his voice rough from swelling and fatigue. ‘It’s good to see you.’ He added.

‘It’s not good to see you. Not like this.’ She saw his hand move, as though he was gesturing for her to hold it, she slowly and hesitantly slid her hand into his. His warm skin immediately sending an electronic pulse up her arm. It still felt so right. His hands still felt the same.

‘MJ’ he coughed out. ‘I think I had a dream about you. When I was out.’

She smiled at him. ‘What happened in the dream?’ She said it so kindly, so genuinely. He made her so sappy she hated it.

He gave her a weak smile. ‘You were just here. Now I think maybe it wasn’t a dream.’

He doesn’t say it out loud, but she knows what he means. He heard her. He had heard everything she said. He felt her presence and there was no getting around it.

‘I won’t be staying much longer Peter.’ She forced herself to say. ‘I need to go home, and you belong with May and Ned and Gwen.’

‘I still love you MJ. I know it’s not fair to say, not fair for Gwen and not fair for you. I know this was the reason you didn’t want to be with me. But I nearly died, and I can’t live another day with out telling you. I tried to stop loving you MJ but I just can’t.’ He looks so earnest as he speaks, even though his swollen features she can see how soft he is, how much he wants her to understand.

She feels tears well in her eyes. And it takes a while to find her voice. But eventually she speaks. ‘We can’t do this now Peter. But thank you for telling me. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should never have.’ But she can’t continue. Yet again her voice is caught in her throat. He’s with Gwen, no matter what they feel, it’s all done now.

‘I love you Peter.’ She said gently as she squeezed his hand. His eyes shon with tears as she said it. ‘I hope you get better soon.’ She gently pulled her hand away from him and as she left the room she didn’t look back at him.

.....

So she went home, went back to her life and months past until, on a quiet Sunday afternoon there was a knock at her door. She swung it open forcefully, fully expecting her Uber eats delivery but instead she was met with the face of Peter Parker.

‘Hi MJ.’ He said, his voice uncomfortably high pitched and shaded in awkwardness. ‘Umm hi dork.’ She said, blinking at him.

‘Can I come in?’ He asked. She just moved out of the doorway in reply allowing him to pass.

‘Nice place’ he said. It wasn’t, she was a single income earner in New York, it was a shoe box. ‘Thanks.’ She muttered anyway.

There was a beat of intense awkward silence in which she couldn’t look at him but he only seemed to be able to look at her. Eventually she met his eye, and they both moved to talk, their words stumbling over each other.

‘You go first.’ They both said together. Causing the two of them to break into laughter in MJ’s tiny apartment.

‘Actually I will go first’ Peter interrupted before she could speak.

‘Wow ok then.’ She said, dead pan. ‘come into my house and demand to speak first.’

But he was used to her taunting by now and apparently he couldn’t be deterred. so he ignored it, stepping closer to her he opened his mouth and began to explain himself.

‘I broke up with Gwen.’ He said abruptly. ‘Or she broke up with me, I’m not clear on that still but the point is, we broke up. Four months ago’ he added on the end.

‘Oh.’ Was all MJ could manage in response, she wasn’t exactly sure how to comfort her estranged ex boyfriend on his more recent breakup so she just kind of patted his shoulder and murmured ‘sorry bout that.’

Peter smiled at her. Completely smiled, his whole face erupting with happiness. ‘What?’ She questioned, taken aback by his lively expression and odd reaction. ‘MJ.’ He spoke her name like it was everything like she meant everything, at least to him. He sniffed before he continued ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t do this to you, but I have to try.’ He pauses again and finally looked away from her, taking a deep breath as though building up the courage to say something profound.

And suddenly she knows why he is here. He loves her still. She is sure of it, she can feel it radiating from his entire being. But she is afraid to hear it. She winces in preparation and finally he says ‘MJ, I love you. I want to be with you.’

She wishes that she was stronger, she wishes that she could turn him down and let him live out his heroic saviour complex by himself. But she just can’t. No matter how strong she was in every other aspect of her life, Peter was always her weakness.

‘I can’t promise not to be Spider-Man.’ He added. Taking her hand, his physical contact further obscuring her better judgment. ‘But I can promise to be more careful, to spend less time in the suit. To make sure I put you and our safety first. I want to compromise MJ, I can’t live with out you. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.’

She moved closer to him and before she could stop herself she had pulled him into a crushing hug. She burried her face in his neck and relished in the feeling of him. So familiar, so solid, so peter. ‘I though you were going to die.’ She admitted as her body racked with tears. She hadn’t cried over it yet, and the intense emotion founded on years of build up was ready to explode.

‘I know. I know.’ He cooed. ‘I’m so sorry MJ.’

.....

They talked all night. They held each other all night. And the truth is, that life was never easy for them, but at the end of the day, they had each other, and it’s all they ever really wanted.