#Cutest coup

[billiesbabygirl]

Cazzie😍

Evan can suck it.

[bet-on-me-13]

Talia took a 20+ Year Undercover mission a while ago

So! Talia is the Daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, and has been alive and at his side for many years now. Decades even. She is well into her 100's, even though her physical Body looks like that of a 20 yr old.

And in all the years that she has lived, what's to say she didn't take a few years off as a vacation? Even Ra's must take a few years off every once in a while, leaving to spend time on some remote island he can relax on for once. So, one day in the Early 80's she decided to do the same.

But she wouldn't be completely relaxing, she would take the break to further the League's goals still. She decided to Dye her Hair, change her Name, get into an acceptable College, and study Lazarus Waters to their scientific limit. She decided to name if Ectoplasm, to avoid any unwanted attention.

And while there, she met a pair of men doing the exact same.

Jack and Vladimir were nice enough. Although their Research was more focused on Ghosts, or as she would call them, Pit Demons. They were convinced that Ectoplasm and Ghosts came from another Dimension, and if they could find a way to open a Dimension Gateway to this theoretical Ghost Zone, they could aquire Limitless Clean Energy (and maybe find a way to contain the Ghostly threat).

Over the years, Talia Maddie would fall for Jack. Eventually, even after she had completed her College Studies and Vlad had left contact with them, she decided to extend her Vacation to further study Ectoplasm with Jack. One thing led to another, and eventually she found herself pregnant. And then it happened again.

Jazzmine and Daniel were the cutest little babies. But she knew the danger they would be in if it was ever discovered that she was their Mother, so she trained them in everything she could so they could survive. She knew her time as Maddie Fenton was coming short, but she resolved to stay, at the very least until Jazz was an Adult.

She didn't account for Daniel becoming a Small Town Hero, but those were just the Trials of motherhood.

Then, the day came. She left a note on her bedside table explaining that she regretted what had to happen, and left in the middle of the night. It was better this way.

...

The year right after she returned, her Father forced her to have a Child with his most prospective Heir. The Bat, he called himself. Oh he was Charming, there was no denying that, but unfortunately she was still working through her feelings about Jack.

She treated her resulting child poorly because of that, and that she regreted it deeply. She loved him, honestly she did, but it was hard to look at him and not remember Daniel. Still, she persevered.

The day she once again had to give up her son for his protection was the hardest of her life.

But it was unavoidable. The Coup that had taken her Father's life had also fractured the Organization, anyone could have taken their shot at her Son as the rightful Heir. She needed to protect him as she took care of the Traitors.

...

Damian always knew he was the One True Heir. It was his defining character trait for his early years of life. Even though he had grown to be more than just that over recent years, he always felt like it was a key part of his identity.

Until now.

Because the BatComputer had just finished running a DNA Test on the Blood of a man who he had spotted on his Patrol the previous night.

A DNA Test that had come back, with results claiming that the man, who looked almost exactly like a younger male version of his Mother, was his Half Brother.

[wonuwrites]

Heyy, can you do the “you calling them pretty” prompt on svt too? 🤩 i just know it’ll be so soft for some of them and i need that 😁❤️

omg Sn0wy 0wl you read my mind LMAOOO I was going to do this bc it's such a cute idea like eeee <3

You Calling Seventeen Pretty <3

Got7's version here: x

Warnings: Fluff, didn't really read it over or edit. If it's shit im sorry lmaoooo

ღ S Coups:

Listen, Seungcheol is both the most cocky and softest member of Seventeen and we love it. Honestly, peak Leo energy. He's the only male Leo I would let ruin my life atp. He often gives the alpha vibe but when it comes to you, oh man he is a certified simp. On days when he is already extra soft for you, if you called him pretty he would be super bashful and just hide his face while saying thank you.

ღ Jeonghan:

Look, everyone knows Jeonghan is pretty. Even Jeonghan knows. HOW FUCKING EVER- when you of all people call him pretty he gets speechless?!? He just giggles and literally becomes putty in your hands andd it's the cutest shit ever.

ღ Joshua:

Jisoo is similar to Jeonghan where everyone, including himself, knows he is attractive and pretty. When you tell him he is pretty just out of the blue, he will just stare at you with such adoration in his eyes and call you pretty back before giving you soft kisses. He wouldn't be one of the shy ones but he would be soft because that's just what you did to him.

ღ Jun:

Tell me why Jun would start an "I know you are but what am I" battle? I can just see you both just doing that until you are both snuggled up into each other. He'd press a soft kiss on your forehead and call you pretty and would kiss you before you could call him pretty.

ღ Hoshi:

You would be snuggling in bed in the morning and he would just be snuggling into your neck and just acting really cute. It would slip and you would just be like "Soonie you are so pretty." He would just become even more soft and blushy with you. He would kiss your face all over and soon you both would just be having a "no you" battle for rest of morning until you ended the battle with a soft makeout session. <3

ღ Wonwoo:

Wonwoo usually would be big spoon but tonight he wanted to be the one to be held so he would just be hugging you while you played with his hair. You were both in your own little world until you just found him to look so pretty. The way his eyelashes fluttered close just made your heart do jumping jacks. "Wonu~" you would whisper. "Hmm?" "You look so pretty." This would make his cheeks, ears, and neck go instantly red and he would hide into your chest or neck which would make you coo. Normally, he was the one making you bashful so it felt good to make him soft like this.

ღ Woozi:

You would just be sitting across from him with a love struck look on your face and just that look alone would make Jihoon soft. However, when he would ask "what are you looking at?" He would get all bashful when you were just like "You are pretty." He would just thank you and be extra soft for the rest of the evening lmaoooo

ღ DK:

You both would be at a cafe somewhere and just eating your food in a comfortable silence. You would look up and see Seokmin just looking so gorgeous and pretty in the lighting. You couldn't stop yourself and would just be like, "yah, Seokminnie you look so pretty right now." He would get red and look around before looking at you and whispering, "yah, you are one to talk." asdfghjkl. You both would end up in a compliment battle for rest of the day because of how down bad you both were.

ღ Mingyu:

There are many adjectives to describe Mingyu and let's be real he's heard them all. However, if he was just sitting there just like you know... existing. You would find him to look pretty especially if the light was shining just right. When you gasp and tell him he looks "pretty" he will get all shy and just be like "baby what?!" He would be all giggly like ???? omg. I'm about as soft as this pretty big bish would be bc imagine the giggles?!!?!?1

ღ Minghao:

You would be looking at Minghao's most recent photoshoot and you were FLABBERGASTED at how your perfect boyfriend could be sexy, handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, and baby at the same time. You couldn't find the best word to say so you just kept whispering how pretty he looked which would make him giggle while wrapping his arms around you. He would feel like the prettiest person ever because of you.

ღ Seungkwan: You know I could be boring and just say we've seen this happen already and just link this: x buuuut I will give y'all more~

You would be playing with Seungkwan's hair while he was telling you about his day. You would be paying attention, but not necessarily to the words he was saying. Instead, you would be staring at his lips moving as he talked. He noticed your "mhmms" were sounding similar so he looked up at your eyes and noticed you were not fully there. "So, then I tied Chan to a train track and threw tomatoes at his face," he said to see if you were paying attention. "that's nice." He scoffed before sitting up and looking at you which made you look at him confused. "(Y/N), are you listening to me?" You blushed a bit before whispering, "sorry Kwannie, I got distracted by how pretty you looked in my lap." This made him blush before giggling and laying back in your lsp. "why what did you say?"' "I said I tied Chan to a train track and threw tomatoes at his face." That made you laugh before you pressed a kiss to his nose. "If it was true, he probably deserved it." That made him laugh before pulling you back down to give you a proper kiss.

ღ Vernon:

Honestly, it takes a lot to fluster Hansol. You can say a lot of things and he will just give you a loving smile or a judgemental mock side eye. However, when it came to calling him "pretty" the man would be nothing short of flustered. He would turn bright red and would just try to throw it back at you or just tell you to shush. He honestly would eat it up if you called him pretty though. It would just make him feel so so so so good. <3

ღ Dino:

When Chan and you started dating, he never thought that you would join in on the teasing with his 'twelve useless hyungs' but here you were. He was just sitting there and you were just so attracted to the man sitting all pretty in front of you. He would cock an eyebrow up and ask if you were good. Forgetting that it was just not you two, you would just be like "Channie, you're so pretty." This would cause him to blush and those that heard to start laughing and gassing him up. "our pretty maknae," Mingyu would tease. You would mouth an apology but the damage was already done. He'd come sit by you and just kiss your cheek to let you know he wasn't mad at you and would be clingy with you for rest of the day. Truth be told, he loved when you called him pretty.

[seuonji]

DUDE THEYRE OT13…AGAIN😭💔 we don’t have an injury line anymore!!!

from left to right, our cutest maknaes. + HOSHI ON MINGYUS ARM💔 + dk are your knees okay…we just got rid of the injury line babe be be careful… + COUPS ON JEONGHANS ARM!!! + SHUA LOOKS SO CUTE + WONWOO WOOZI LOOKS SO COMFY…. + jun and minghao probably recovering from getting bullied because of their ass sports skills🤍 happy to have them all back.

[gffa]

I would like to say I've slowed down a bit on BATFAMILY fic over the last month, but that's kind of a lie because fandom has put out some absolute banger longer fics and I've been reading a lot of comics (can you believe how many comics I've been enjoying?? I have never felt so spoiled for choice!), so I still feel like I'm inhaling everything as fast as I can go and it's GREAT. It's a constant stream of crying about fictional characters in canon, crying about fictional characters in sad fic scenarios, crying about fictional characters in happy fic scenarios, and crying about fictional characters because other people care about our babies, too. Also, I have decided I no longer have a Dick Grayson Problem that you must all suffer through to get some variety in the recs, but instead I have a Dick Grayson Solution. You're all welcome. But I'll mix it up a bit just for you guys, so hopefully you find something fun to read no matter your fave and have a good time, because this fandom has been knocking it out of the park with the fic that has given me a good time, READ AND CRY WITH ME, OKAY. BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I'M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ Grounded by WingFeathers, dick & bruce & clark & wally & ma kent & pa kent & background clark/bruce & cast, 60.4k     In the early days of the Justice League, Bruce is out more and more frequently on League missions, and Dick (age 13) is growing more and more restless and lonely stuck at home. His friends can't know he's Robin, and there are no superheroes Dick's age--or so he thinks, until Bruce receives a call from Barry, desperately seeking mentorship advice. Dick asks to meet the Flash's new sidekick, but Bruce refuses; a fight ensues, ending in Dick getting grounded. One week in Gotham off patrol, and then two weeks alone, far from Gotham... at a little family farm in Smallville, Kansas. And hey, if a certain Midwestern speedster sidekick just so happens to turn up, that'd be just fine. Or would it?

✦ trust in serum by deargalileo, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 15.7k     "I believe the serum is a mixture of chemicals that compels the target to be completely honest, even against their own will." "You got hit with a truth serum?" Bruce winced as Dick's voice reached a high pitch. "Really?!" "Yes, really."

✦ Storge by CKBookish, dick & bruce & alfred, 5.4k     “Your dad must have his hands full with you.” Elizabeth Ribbons leaned forward and patted Dick’s shoulder, as he reached for yet another slice of cheesecake from a passing waiter’s tray. Bruce fixed his eyes on the ice sculpture that hid him from view. It suddenly seemed like the most interesting design in the world. The soft lines of the ice on the otherwise insignificant over sized swan seemed like a lead shield... Because Dick would read it easily in his expression. He wanted to be Dick’s dad. But he wasn’t.

✦ Robin Wings by JeanjacketCarf, dick & clark & bruce & cast, 3.4k     Clark wakes in a panic, unsure what has jarred him from his sleep. Until he notices Robin's absence from Batman's side.

✦ Hey! He Attempted a Coup! by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & clark & justice league & cast, 6.8k wip     What if Dick Grayson was a Kryptonian?

✦ grief mosaic by newsical, dick & bruce & alfred & leslie, 1.3k     Grief paints Dick’s days in muted shades of red and yellow and green. He grows to expect sleepless nights and sweat-drenched sheets. In turn, he finds late night companions in Alfred, with his old movies and stories, and Bruce, who wears the colors of his own grief to prevent its spread to others. Dr. Thompkins writes a letter to Bruce diagnosing Dick with PTSD.

✦ before this ends by emavee, dick & bruce, 2.5k     Mr. Wayne would definitely be angry if he knew what Dick was planning, but it’s not as if Dick is going to be here long anyway. Might as well take the opportunity to fly one last time, while he still has the chance.

✦ A Light at the End of the Tunnel by dizarys, dick & bruce & alfred, 1.6k     Maybe the parenting and grieving books he skimmed the highlights from last week–and Alfred–were right. Why else would Dick have approached their newest case with such ferocity and determination? At first, Bruce chalked it up to empathy. Seeing another child crying after his parents were murdered was something Batman and Robin could relate to.

✦ Last Night of Sadness by gothamshero (emhyr), dick & bruce & slade & william cobb, 6.1k     Dick Grayson has to take liberties when he’s a civilian, but he still knows when he’s being followed.

✦ Starlings in Winter by FromStarstuff, dick & bruce & clark & cast, 18k wip     When Dick was eleven years old he ran away from Gotham. No one could quite figure out why. Take your pick; there was a fight at school, a circus in town, and a song he can’t remember the melody of. Eleven-year-old Dick Grayson was flooded with grief, swimming in it, perpetually drowning. One day it was too much.

✦ What Defines A Father by Browniesarethebest, dick & bruce & justice league & cast, 7.7k wip     Batman hasn't known the newly formed Justice League long enough to trust them, but he's willing to put everything on the line when the one thing he cares for most is taken somewhere he can't easily follow.

✦ Stolen Son by springfox (dallystrings), dick & bruce & cast, 8.6k     Bruce’s heartbeat sped up, but he leveled his breathing to remain clear headed. After another thirty seconds he abandoned the cart and walked briskly through the store, searching every row in a growing panic. “Dick?” he called, “Dick, can you hear me? Where are you, chum?”

BATFAM FIC RECS - ADULT BATSON AND BATDAD ARE MY KRYPTONITE, I FOLD LIKE WET CARDBOARD FOR THEM: ✦ Learning Experience by strikeyourcolors, dick & bruce, 2.3k     "Does it ever get easier?" Dick asks. Bruce isn't technically old enough to be his father biologically, but those deep blue eyes are looking at him as a child beseeching a parent. "Some nights I feel like I can't do this anymore, Bruce. I can't be Nightwing."

✦ Rainbow Puppies by zombiesbecrazy, dick & bruce, 2.4k     Bruce really wanted to hate Pamela Isley right now, but all that he could focus on was how much he admired the way she passionately fought for her beliefs and how he could applaud her application of her educational background into practical endeavors to her cause, however misguided. Being hit with one of Ivy's toxins has Bruce babbling like a fool.

✦ the business of the very few by dustorange, dick & bruce, 4.2k     “I was trying,” Bruce says, “to respect your privacy.”

✦ notches in the door frame by dizarys, dick & bruce, 2.1k     Bruce hadn't been prepared for his days or nights to feel so empty. And he wasn't sure how to interact with the young man before him now. Because Robin didn't need Batman anymore. --- A patrol gone wrong forces Bruce and Dick to finally talk about Robin becoming Nightwing and feelings they'd been avoiding.

✦ No Comfort in the Shade by mx_chrx99, dick & bruce, 3.4k     Dick Grayson is having a hard time and Bruce is there to help.

✦ The Long Distance by takadainmate, dick & bruce, 1.2k     Down here they're not Batman and Nightwing. They’re Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. But they still fight.

BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ tender will fall by dizarys, dick & bruce & donna & jason & cast, 3.5k     When the Titans are devastated in an attack, they go to Batman in a last ditch effort to rescue one of their own.

✦ the hardest part by emavee, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cass, no powers au, 5.8k     Dick is dreading his eighteenth birthday and everything that it means for him as a foster kid. His time with his family is running out, and he needs to be prepared for what comes next, to be on his own again.

✦ 5 Times Dick Grayson Was Grateful for His Insomnia + 1 Time He Wasn't by avengemyheart, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & alfred & wally, 5.7k     Dick can't sleep, but that's a good thing. He finds himself helping the people he cares about late at night throughout the years. Eventually though, everyone realizes just how intense his insomnia can get. Or: A 5 +1 thing about Dick's insomnia.

✦ A Darker Shade of Gotham by JackHawksmoor, dick & bruce & tim & alfred, 8.3k wip     Dick and Tim are stuck in a crappy alternate universe where most of the heroes they know are dead, Bruce Wayne's bad health meant he never became Batman, and Tony Zucco runs Gotham City's underworld. When Dick is shot by the mob, they take a risk and go to Bruce for help. Alternate Bruce didn't have children, but as he gets to know Dick and Tim, he starts wishing he did.

✦ leave as though fire burns under your feet by perissologist, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cast, read the tags, 33k     That glow is gone, now. Gone from Dick’s skin, gone from inside him. It used to shine out of him, out of all the cracks the world put in him. But now Bruce looks down at him, and he is as dark and cold as a snuffed star. That’s what gets to him the most—not how cold the morgue is under its colorless fluorescent lighting, or the cloying smell of formaldehyde that clogs his throat. It’s how still Dick is, on the cold, sterile surface of the examiner’s table. It’s unnatural. The boy never learned how to sit still.

✦ papers say it's doomsday by dottie_dc (dottie_wan_kenobi), dick & bruce & donna & cast, 2.5k     Half-laughing at his own joke, Nightwing starts to say, “He just doesn’t—” In the space of one word, one breath, and the next—the world ends.

✦ Ibn al Xu'ffasch by hellsreluctantheir, dick & bruce & damian & jason & cast, 16.2k     Batman when they’d thought Bruce was dead was one kettle of fish. Batman when the original Batman was around was another. In his head, Robin—perched on a gargoyle next to him—tutted like an eighty-year-old, and rolled his eyes like the kid he was.

BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ our aspirations are wrapped up in books by theragingstorm, damian & barbara & cast, 1.8k     Damian's been confined to bed rest. Someone unexpected helps him.

✦ remind me why I'm here again? by dizarys, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & bernard(/tim), 3.5k     Jason's at a Wayne gala. He doesn't want to be. Good thing his siblings are there too. "Were we mean?" Dick mused, "Or just being big brothers?" "He's holding your hoodie hostage." "You're right. We went too easy on him."

✦ put away childish things by bittlebarnes (monroesherlock), dick & damian & clark & jon & barbara & ma kent, 7.2k     "I was sent here as a punishment, surely," Damian deadpans. "Are you feeling punished?" Martha sounds like she’s laughing at him. Unacceptable. "Absolutely."

✦ a hero by hellsreluctantheir, bruce & dick & jason, 15.5k     Dick Grayson died in Amusement Mile. Four years later, Jason Todd is Robin. But he's not dressed in the costume when he hears about a new player in Crime Alley; a man in a red helmet.

✦ Improvise A Symphony by cabezas_de_vaca, bruce & dick & alfred & cast, 5.5k     Or: three generations of Wayne and Wayne-adjucacent men do their absolute best.

✦ The Second Stage by nightwalker, tim & jason & bruce & dick & damian, 8.2k     All Tim wants is to take a shower, get something to eat, and try to wear off the effects of Ivy's stupid pollen in peace. So of course tonight is the night Jason decides to start acting like a brother.

BATFAM FIC RECS - I CUT MY TEETH ON DICK & TIM AS CLOSE BROTHERS AND NO ONE WILL NOT TAKE IT FROM ME: ✦ Red Letter Day by silverwhittlingknife, dick & tim & damian & cast, 41.8k wip     Dick Grayson, stressed pseudo-parent to a preteen assassin, tries to solve the case of Damian’s Mysterious Wednesday. He never expected it to help him fix his relationship with Tim, too. (... Though only after everything fell apart first.)

✦ I know it's just a number but you're the eighth wonder by orphan_account, dick & tim, 1.2k     Dick gets sick. Set before their lives implode on them, so Dick’s Nightwing and Tim’s still an itty bitty Robin.

✦ it's been a long time now (i'm with you) by centreoftheselights, dick & tim, 1.8k     Tim has been noticing some strange things about his life. He isn't the only one.

✦ Little Do You Know by sardonic_sprite, dick & tim & ra's, 2.2k     "So," Tim said quietly. "You're here to break me out I guess." "Yes," came out in a choked sob. "Then you're wasting your time."

✦ pain/release by unchosenone, dick & tim, 4k     Dick goes to check on a wayward brother in the middle of yet another Gotham Toxin (TM), and Tim has a bad time.

✦ I'd Fly Far Away From Here by Sohotthateveryonedied, dick & tim & jack, 3.5k     Tim stacks his fries onto his burger patty in a crosshatch, covering every spare inch in a layer of salty potato and grease. “It all happened kind of fast. Dad and I got into this huge fight, and it’s not very dignified to go back upstairs for my wallet and then storm out.” Dick is quiet while he eats his sandwich, trying to figure this out. “Dick?” “I’m just—trying to think if I should call Bruce first or your dad.”

✦ A Collective End to a Harmony by 061828, dick & tim, 1.2k     A drop of water falls into an ocean, a house’s wooden skeleton has its last nail screwed into place, an old book’s first page finally crumbles off, and Tim Drake turns twenty years old.

✦ young numb and broken by wingedgrace, dick & tim & cast, read the tags, 1.1k     His bare feet were covered in cold, damp sand, and he could barely feel them. Well, he could feel them, but they didn’t seem to be connected to his body. Or maybe it was him that wasn’t connected to his body. (or: poor Dick Grayson needs some love and a chance to catch his breath.)

✦ there's an endless road to rediscover by Zahri, dick & tim & cast, 1.2k     Sometimes the only way to show that you've moved on and forgiven each other is to take a flying tackle from the ceiling. Dick and Tim know each other's demonstrations of affection. Damian doesn't.

✦ spread your wings by wingedgrace, dick & tim & cast, 2.1k     “Why did you give Robin to Damian?” Dick pinched his nose. He’d started to pick up some of Batman’s habits, whether he realized it or not. “Tim, we’re not talking about this again. We’re talking about how you’re off on this… quest, to prove that Bruce is still alive. And I just want to talk. Come home.” Tim didn’t budge. “Why did you give Robin to Damian?”

BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK/BABS FOREVER AND YOU CAN SHUT IT IF YOU DISAGREE, THEY'RE ADORABLE TOGETHER: ✦ Taking Turns by mx_chrx99, dick/babs, 2.3k     Tim had practically begged Dick to get a flu shot. He probably should've listened.

✦ The Summer of Her Discontent by dotfic, dick/babs, 7.8k     Batgirl contends with her feelings after Dick leaves Gotham.

✦ Thirteen Hours by dotfic, dick/babs, 7.9k     Set during "Knight Time," during their trip to Romania, Dick and Babs start healing some old wounds.

✦ The Night the Lights Went out in Gotham by dotfic, dick/babs & bruce & tim & jim & cast, 13.8k     "When it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiotic."-from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

✦ Regular People by zombiesbecrazy, dick/babs, 1.6k     All sorts of people can enjoy a good sunrise over the city after a long night. Why should heroes of Gotham be any different?

✦ strawberry milkshakes by brandywine421, dick/babs & bruce, 2.8k     Why is Bruce bringing Dick? It's not an emergency alert, or medical - just an alert. She should have put in her comm - if it was a simple pit stop they had safehouses, but - Batman dangles Dick's keys in her direction at the door but she's glad he didn't come through the window. She looks past him to catch Dick's attention and - something's wrong.

BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE'S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ Stay for breakfast and also forever by Ididloveyou_once, tim/kon & bruce, 2k     Conner turns up in the middle of the night after a mission gone wrong. Tim learns that seeing Conner cry makes him feel like his heart has been torn out of his chest.

✦ Think Cupid, But Aim Lower by NevernightUnderRainbows, tim/kon & bruce & cassie & bart, 2.3k     Or, the Batfamily will make sure Tim gets his guy, even if it entails a lot of beating around the bush, dropping hints so veiled that they can be misconstrued surprisingly easily, and basically giving the bird and his clone boy a headache in the process

✦ The Once and Future Bat by LilliputianDuckling, tim/kon & some kon/cassie & dick & roy & martha & anita & cast, 16k     Tim realizes it was a mistake to clone Conner when he ends up with a baby on his hands at sixteen years old. Well, Jackie's his now. Where does he go from here?

✦ there you were by mindshelter, tim/kon & cassie & bart & martha, 19.5k wip     “You know, the cool thing about me,” Tim says, voice gone quiet and petal-soft, “is that even when I didn’t care whether I lived or not, I was pretty goddamn hard to kill.” Kon sighs, eyes glued to his feet. His hand is still encircled around Tim’s arm, trailing up to the bend of his elbow.

✦ time flies by by Laroyena, tim/kon & clark & jon & lex, 6.5k     Jon Kent is Superboy. Tim's gut instinct tells him that's wrong. (Timkon fix-it where reboot!Tim misses Kon like a phantom limb. And then he gets him back.)

✦ Tangled by thewhitestag, tim/kon, NSFW, 4.1k     Kon doesn’t want to be that person, always waiting, wondering if the next time will be more than just two friends messing around.

✦ you put your arms around me and i'm home by merils, tim/kon, 4.5k     Kon's acting a little odd after a close call. Tim ponders the potential causes.

BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR: ✦ Bereft by glassofwater, dick & bruce & cast, 4.7k     Laying on his back, shoulder brushing up against debris, Dick closes his eyes briefly. He doesn’t want to die, has no intention to do so tonight, but he is scared. The blood on his side pumps out of him with each thump of his heart, beating at a rate too fast for Dick to properly count. That shouldn’t be right, he shouldn’t even be awake and struggling at the moment, but the luck that hangs over Gotham is a mysterious one; it doesn’t favor anyone and yet…

✦ fun and games by prismatical, bruce & dick & jason & tim & barbara & stephanie & duke & cast, 78.6k     The Joker's loose, and the Batman isn't in Gotham. The family struggles to hold itself together as everything else spins out of control.

✦ Bone Weary by TheSilencer, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & duke, 8.1k     "You cannot reach out until you reach in." Dick assumed the words were metaphorical. They weren't. Or Dick Grayson is cursed, and the cure is not any better.

✦ What These Hands Have Done by WinterSky101, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & alfred & cast, 14k     Dick is mind controlled into attacking his family. Unsurprisingly, he takes the whole thing very badly.

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[prettyinpurplelights]

kylian mbappe headcanons on what it would be like to date him?

Dating Kylian

(speaking from first hand experience of course 🤭) (Also i literally cant help myself i had to do a “how did you start dating”)

You meet Kylian at your distant cousin’s wedding, you weren’t even supposed to be there, but your mum had come down with something last minute and forced you to attend in her place

You’re at the bar at the reception with a caramel apple martini mocktail planning your escape when a handsome guy comes up to the bar orders the exact same drink

“I think you’re the first guy today to order that.” You say as he’s about to leave

He turns to you with a raised eyebrow

god he’s so handsome

“Not a dark liquor type of guy?” You ask

“Ew” He scrunches his face. “Definitely not, I like sweet things.”

“Ditto.” You raise your glass at him, nodding

And with that interaction, you find yourself in his car 30 minutes later headed back to the city, which is a whole 3 hour drive

He’d also been looking for an excuse to leave so he offered you a ride

You didn’t know this man or why he was being so generous but you were so desperate to get out, you hated weddings, especially when you know almost no one, so you took him up on it

Off topic: Mbappe driving…🧎‍♀️

You figure out who he was 2 hours into the drive when “Ramenez a la coupe de la maison” blares out through the speaker and you gasp so loudly when you realise he laughs

“My brother is going to lose his SHIT when he finds out THEE Mbappe drove me home.”

“Give me your phone.” He says when you finally reach your apartment. He punches his number into it

“Proof for your brother.” He winks, and suddenly you feel shy under his gaze

Fast forward to 4 days later and Mbappe is definitely sure you’re ghosting him

He’s venting to Neymar who just laughs at him because finally Kylian couldn’t bag a chick he wanted and Achraf being the voice of reason saying perhaps you were busy

It’s not for another week until he gets a text from you

“It’s Y/N’s brother. Prove you’re Mbappe and call her.”

He wastes no time ringing and the first thing he sees is you screaming at your brother to give the phone back

“Holy shit Y/N, you weren’t lying.” Your brother says

“You owe me 20 euros, dickhead.” Your face comes into view and you’re flushed and looking frustrated

“Hi.” You say to him. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Kylian laughs. “I’m glad your brother called, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Oh.” You blush

2 weeks later you’re going on your first date and for some reason Kylian is nervous

Kylian is confident, he knows what he wants and how to get it, never sweaty, never shy, never nervous but for some reason he wanted to impress you so much he works himself up over it

He picks you up with a bouquet of roses in his sweaty hand and you greet him with a kiss on the cheek which drives him slightly insane

Your date goes very well and you have another, and another and before you know it you’re his girlfriend

OKAY NOW TO THE DATING AKSHJSKSJS SORRY

KYLIAN IS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER/SUNSHINE BOYFRIEND AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL (my king of aeygo 🫶🏿)

Whenever you hang out at his or your place he’s basically on your leg like a koala

You can’t leave or enter the room without giving him a kiss first or he’ll pout and whine until you do

He absolutely loves cuddling, he’s the big spoon always (Alexa play cuffing season by sza)

Hugs from behind >>> he’ll just randomly wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin in the crook of your neck or pepper kisses across your neck instead

He also likes lying his head on your lap so you can give him head massages, he’s loves them a lot

Kylian spoils you way too much

“Hey babe remember that necklace we saw last week in the window you said you liked”

“Kylian that was just a passing comment please don’t tell me you-“

And he always presents the gifts with the cutest smile on his face, both his dimples shining so you can’t be mad at him

He knows you can’t be mad at him when he smiles like that and you know he won’t return anything you ask him to

He’s even worse on your birthday and valentine’s

You absolutely don’t know how he rents out the entire louvre for your first valentine’s together but he somehow does

“Baby, I’m Kylian Mbappe.”

Cocky little shit.

It’s the best date you’ve ever had, a candlelit picnic set up on the floor of the museum

You both hate fancy dinners however so your regular dates are always fun things like amusement parks, or roller skating, visiting new cities when he has the time and arcades

He’s a TERRIBLE loser btw kylian absolutely does not like to lose grumpy boy

You kicked his ass at fifa once and he gave you the silent treatment for a few hours

It never lasts longer than that because he’s missing you then he’s all over you again

Kylian loves kissing you, ik that boy is a phenomenal kisser i know it

Horny as fuck too.

He cannot keep his hands to himself however hard he tries, especially in public when you’re trying to not look obvious

He’ll put his hand in your back pocket, he’ll pull you into an alley and kiss you senseless, he’ll whisper in your ear for absolutely no reason because he likes seeing you hot and bothered

Your relationship is still private so he makes sure he pays you a lot of attention behind closed doors

He always makes sure you’re pleased first, he loves the way you moan his name and the sounds you make

Your lucky day is anytime he scores a hatrick, he makes sure you reach at least 7 big O’s in honour of his jersey number

You in his jersey - drives him CRAZY

You wearing his clothes in general, his favourite thing to see, especially first thing in the morning

You don’t argue a lot, but it happens, and you’re both stubborn af

He’s always the first to apologise though, especially if it’s when he’s come from a bad game or training session and that’s what causes the argument

As mentioned, Kylian doesn’t take loses very well, and sometimes he takes it out on you, but he doesn’t mean to

You do your best to be there for him in those times

There was a particularly bad argument because of a tabloid post and you went 4 days without a word to each other and he thought he was going to die

The make up sex is- *call drops*

He always holds you extra tight after

Your family absolutely love him, your mum especially

“You and Kylian are coming over this weekend? Is his favourite food still _____? I must go shopping.”

He always gifts your brother tickets to his games, you’ve gone a couple of times together and Kylian will always look up in the stands for you with a smile

Of course no one knows who he’s looking for

Until they do

The day your relationship is leaked was probably the worst day of your life, you had to take a few days off work because the paps wouldn’t leave you alone it was an absolute nightmare

Kylian was there for you the whole time, assuring you, loving you, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere

Once the media moved onto someone else, the relief of not having to hide anymore felt great

Especially for Kylian because he could now hold you hand and kiss you wherever he wanted, which he made sure he definitely did

He’s not possessive but he’s absolutely jealous, he knows you’re stunning and people look at you whenever you’re out

Makes a point of PDA when he notices someone staring

“Kyky they’re probably staring at you, not me.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

Now you’re in public relationship, you can sit with the other wags at his games so he know exactly where to find you when he wants to dedicate a goal to you

Champions league games and international friendlies are the worst when he had to travel and you can’t always go with him

He’d always call you before the game, he claims you’re his “porte bonheur” (good luck charm) or something of the sort

He comes straight to your apartment from the airport every time

His favourite days are lazy mornings with you when he doesn’t have training

He likes to cook for you sometimes, but he mostly steers clear of the kitchen

Especially after the time he almost burnt it down trying to make tacos

Also boy can he eat

You’re both big foodies, you have a spontaneous date night every week where you pick random restaurants or food truck places to try out

You’re sat on a bench at 11pm, 6 months into the two of you dating, with mouthfuls of food from a place you’d seen on tiktok when he asks you to move him with him

You’re hesitant at first because you do enjoy having your own space but you agree to it, you were over there a lot anyways, would be easier

And he said you can convert one of the spare bedrooms into your own safe space

Kylian is a huge romantic, corny too so he’ll leave little notes around the house for you

“You’re the straw to my berry” you find this in the fruit bowl

“You’re so sweet, I get a toothache just looking at you.” this was on the mirror above your bathroom sink

Stupid nicknames

“Kyks if you call me “your little avocado” or “your cheeky cotton bud” one more time, I’m calling you Donatello next time we have sex.”

He sticks to ma cherie or mon amour from then on

Living together means domestic things like cooking together and negatives like Kylian stealing your skin care products

And he absolutely has to do a face mask also everytime you do one

“Kylian this shit isn’t cheap keep your hands off!”

Next time you open your bathroom cabinet, there’s 6 of every product with a note: “I know something else that would be great for your skin, I’ll show you tonight.”

You’re very glad that night Kylian’s apartment is sound proof

Movie marathons together

Marvel and Disney especially, he’s team Iron Man 👎🏿

You absolutely cannot stand horror movies, but he loves them, you think it’s mostly because you always end up in his arms with your face in his neck to avoid watching them

Becoming really close with the other wags, especially Achraf’s wife Hiba, she becomes like a sister to you

Joking Kylian and Achraf were going to leave the two of you for each other

You and Kylian going to support Ethan at his games and babysitting his neice and nephew, he loves seeing you with him

So much so he asks you one night how you feel about having kids with him

“NOW??”

“Of course not now Y/N. Just at some point.”

You say yes

So he proposes 2 months later, he doesn’t care you’re young or have only been dating 15 months, he loves you and can’t see himself with anyone else

You say yes

2 years after your wedding you welcome your first child together, a baby girl the spitting image of Kylian and he’s never felt so content with life and how everything has turned out for him

——-

I hope this is okay 😭 I’m terrible with headcanons bc i always end up wanting to just write a fully fledged fic instead 😵‍💫

[nevernonline]

Hello, I was wondering if I could make a request for Seventeen 🥺🥺, how would he react to seeing you breastfeed your baby in front of him?🫣

hiii nonnie!! of course <3 I'm sorry this took a second keke. I was nervous to make it feel right, thank you sm for the rec!!

I just did coups-hoshi for now so it's not too long if you want some more lmk &lt;3

SVT's reactions to you seeing you breastfeeding and taking care of your child in front of them:

choi seungcheol:

he would melt immediately!! ik this man would be the biggest softie seeing his two loves enjoying themselves.

I can picture him catching his s/o off guard while they're casually resting as he comes home excited to see the two of them 😭

would come over to them without even saying hello verbally just giving a small kiss on each of their heads to join them sitting adjacent and watching with his little smile.

obvi the queen kkuma would come to enjoy being with her now larger family. (she is the light of MY life)

kkuma and baby cheol matching hair clips, when tbh?? (why can I write all day abt dad cheol idk??)

yoon jeonghan:

would be amazed he met someone who actually wanted to raise his child. not because he didn't think anyone would, just because he knows it has to be hard staying home while he works.

he would tend HAND AND FOOT while they take care of the baby, they worked hard so he would be working his ass off making them both so so happy.

constantly found giggling and buying the baby the cutest little gifts and playing with their sylvanian families families together.

seeing his s/o breastfeeding would def not be a surprise to him!! he'd be so happy that they just feel comfortable sharing the entire experience with him.

hong jisoo:

im so sorry shua as a dad would make me melt fr??

i can't even imagine the matching daddy x baby fits.

he'd sing softly to the baby while his s/o breastfeeds

Joshua def would make their s/o a killer ass playlist for while they feed just so the baby can have a chill time during feeding and so!! his s/o constantly thinks about them while they're doing so if he's not present.

hover dad <3 but in the best way!! knows he's busy so any little chance he can have to spend with his family he takes.

would be so excited about their child's first trip on a plane, probably to visit la and introduce them to the "LA Vibes"

100% best dad and husband a person could want.

wen junhui:

absolutely has read so many parenting books to understand how much goes into the process so he is always informed and not asking you too many questions if you're stressed.

when he saw you breastfeeding for the first time, he'd definitely be intrigued not in a seggsy way just in a genuine curiosity type of way.

he'd be really clingy asking you if you need his help for anything, pumping, diaper changing, etc.

above and beyond dad type like his s/o wouldn't even know what hit him.

him trying to teach your newborn his name >>>

playing you and your baby sweet piano medley's while plastering his cute smile all over the room.

def would enjoy sharing baby food

NEVER leaving your side, but in a helpful way, he'd def drop everything to be by your side like the best partner ever???

kwon soonyoung:

he's the mom 100%

I can picture him just literally going mush over the fact he has a child?? like??

would be tactile as hell to you while you breastfed, just crawling in the chair behind you to wrap his arms around you and his child, he has to be a part of it ALL.

showing everyone photos and videos 24/7 of the family he created. like he's so PROUD!!

compares his and his s/o's baby photos to see who their child looks like more and even if it isn't him, finds the smallest comparison to his features and gives them a nickname from birth based on that.

maybe a clumsy father at times but in the most endearing way.

makes choreography to cool baby songs and shows them off while his s/o feeds their baby for entertainment.

sings really soft and sweet love songs over a baby monitor.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons part ? (I don’t even know I lost count last week)

Ambrosius stopped wearing socks in the house

Because every once and a while he would walk around on their carpeted floors and then go to grab Bal’s right hand and get shocked 

He would jump away with a small curse while Nimona would cackle in the background   

Whenever Nimona wants attention or doesn’t get their way they make noises that they know annoy Bal and Ambrosius 

She’ll ask if she can pick the movie that night and Bal will tell her no cause she picked the last two nights 

And she let out the most annoying high-pitched “aaaaa” they’ve ever heard 

Whenever he gets bored and doesn’t want to terrorize the citizens he’ll make random animal noises and makes the boys guess what animal it is 

They’ve got good at telling a difference 

But it also leads to very weird sentences like “growl like a grizzly bear one more time and you’re grounded for a week young man” 

I feel like board games are hell for Bal 

This poor baby just wants to get through one normal game of Monopoly (or whatever off-brand game they were playing) 

And every time Nimona will find a way to turn the game on its head so she wins 

And Ambrosius the love of his life the apple of his eye the sunshine to his moonbeam plays along 

This man goes out of his way to make it difficult for him to win

He’ll twist the rules or come up with brand new ones on the spot that sounds so legit it makes Bal search for the damn rule book

There have been times when he’ll look Bal in the eyes and say “Sorry love the rules state that the leader of a successful coup wins the game” 

And he can’t even get mad cause Nim and Ambrosius have the cutest little matching smiles on their faces when they think they’ve successfully fooled him 

When Ambrosius cleans on a normal day it’s not uncommon for him to get sidetracked 

He’ll play music and he’ll sing or he’ll dance (or both if he’s feeling especially bored)

He’ll always manage to drag Nimona and Bal into it 

Sometimes when it’s just Bal and Ambrsius in the house he’ll play slower songs and drag Bal out into the living room and slow dance for a bit

When it’s Ambrosius and Nimona alone he’ll let her take over the aux and play her favorite songs 

When it’s all three of them together they have a little dance party 

I’ve seen so many videos making fun of Bals “amazing” sneaking skills and I feel like Ambrosius is good at hiding  

He’s been in the limelight from the moment he was born and there were times when he was sick of it

So he got good at blending into a crowd and sneaking 

It used to freak Bal and Nimona out when they first met him

When Bal first met Ambrosius he assumed that he would be a showboating prince of the school

And sure there were moments when he would play that part 

But that’s all it was a part 

When he’s out of his armor he’s quiet as a church mouse 

Bal got very used to hearing Nimona yell from across the house “fucking hell do we need to tie a bell to you or something make a noise Nemesis”

After she gets used to it she finds it kind of impressive 

Cause he’s able to sneak up on both her and Bal and they’ve both got really good hearing

It doesn’t take long for them to convince him to use his powers for evil

You see Bal has a bad habit of getting stuck in his head and when he does his reaction time is shit

So it's fucking hilarious to watch as he flails when Ambrosius snuck up on him a minute before 

It always gets a good laugh out of the trio and it gets Bal out of his head for the rest of the day

[bangtanfancamp]

Oh Christmas Tree | KNJ

∴ summary: you’re looking for a fresh start and a Christmas tree when you unintentionally stumble across the worlds most attractive dimples and the sweet, gigantic, bumbling man attached to them

Alt: Namjoon + a Christmas tree farm + his best friend’s girlfriend’s little sister = the best Yuletide he never saw coming

∴ masterlist

∴ part of the breakfast with bangtan series

∴ pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader, guest appearances by cultivating a life with you Hoseok x his y/n

∴word count: 10.8k

∴ rating: mature, 18+

∴genre: fluff, strangers to lovers. slice of life, Christmas romance

∴warnings: flirting, woke adjacent Christmas tree banter? sexual tension, joon is a big man (we all know this), a few subtle pov shifts- but only at already marked breaks in the story beats (should be easy to follow. Hopefully), subtle daddy kink, joonie has big boobies and he likes boobies, what was meant to be really soft smut that got a little out of hand honestly

∴author’s note: This started as a little scribble in March of 2021 that only involved the scene of y/n and Namjoon bantering about Christmas trees. I’ve been neck deep in 30k+ monster fic drafts for months and I just wanted to write something quick & fluffy so here we are. This y/n is the sister Hoseok’s girlfriend visits in cultivating a life with you. The stories are totally independent of each other but technically- chronologically- this takes place two winters later. Not meant to be hallmark movie related. I honestly just love the idea of Namjoon in one of his tiny little beanies getting tongue tied in the snow while surrounded by Christmas trees. Enjoy! Please let me know if you like it, if you like :) also… this is not proofread yet. I stayed up all night writing this and didn’t sleep. So I’m gonna leave this here, crash, and come back later to edit and add my copious italics, as I do.

───────────────────────

“My gosh, are these Christmas trees in outer space?”

You’d spent the last hour and a half being squashed in the backseat of your sister’s Mini Cooper. Your knees were beginning to ache.

“Oh don’t be a grinch, silly. We’re almost there,” your sister twisted to smile back at you from her spot in the passenger seat.

Her pink mittened hand was happily resting on her boyfriend Hoseok’s slim thigh. He reached down to tap out the rhythm to “walking in a winter wonderland” across the back of her knuckles as she beamed back at you, and you felt a little bit of your irritation melt away. It was nice to see her so happy. They were sweet to each other. It was lovely for them, but it wouldn’t help straighten out the kink in your back.

Who takes a coupe to pick up a live Christmas tree?

Hoseok caught your eye in the rear view mirror and smiled in apology as you shifted. He was as nice as your sister, just as keen to accommodate, and as soft for her as you were, if not more. His car was in the shop and yours hadn’t arrived yet. You’d driven a u-haul here from three states away a week and a half ago, settling down to take root during a holiday season best celebrated in an established home like the smart planner you were (not).

But for once, you didn’t care. Or at least, you were learning not to.

You’d spent too much of your life stuck in places you didn’t even want to be, taking life too seriously. Spent too many of the last few years feeling stagnant and like you were running out of time all at once. So when the opportunity arose, you took the first chance you got to move here. To be closer to your sister, to be somewhere where the air felt lighter, where you could be whoever you wanted to be.

And today, you wanted to be the owner of a live Christmas tree.

Give yourself something to smile at in your studio that currently consisted of bare stucco walls and aesthetic cardboard box piles.

When you’d mentioned it over the phone, your sister had known just the place.

“It’s the cutest little Christmas tree farm! Me and hobi get our tree there every year! They even have a hot cocoa stand up front for you to sip on while you pick your tree out. It’s owned by the sweetest family. One of our friends works there too. Oh you have to meet him!”

Your sister had gushed it all in one breath.

“Have to?”

“Absolutely. Not even a question. Get dressed! Me and hobi’ll pick you up in 10!”

That was that. You’d bundled up to the best of your ability, (Your wardrobe was not prepared for how chilly the winters got up here) and twenty minutes later, your sister and a blushing Hoseok were waiting for you in the parking lot in their jolly little holiday mobile.

Your sister had added reindeer antlers and a red nose to her Mini Cooper and jingle bells to the door handles. There was a set of white vinyl stickers with the silhouette of Santa’s sleigh and all nine reindeer plastered on the back window and a sprig of mistletoe-that she’d probably grown herself- twirling from the rear view mirror. Somehow she’d even gotten the horn to match the melody of “we wish you a merry Christmas.”

You’d have to ask how later.

The ride ended up being cozy enough. Now you were just eager to get out and get the feeling back in your toes. Hoseok tipped the driver's side seat forward for you to crawl out from the back. The second the icy wind slapped against your cheek you wondered why you thought going out in the cold would bring any sort of circulation back to your toes. You rolled your eyes at yourself and chuckled when you caught sight of the purplish tinge along Hoseok’s throat peeking out just over the edge of his chunky crocheted scarf. (Your sister probably made it for him. And now he was using it to hide her hickies. The little hoe.)

He felt your stare and blushed, his wide animated eyes becoming sheepish as he yanked his scarf up just the littlest bit higher.

So that was why that ten minute pickup time had stretched into twenty.

Good for the both of you.

Soon, the three of you were wandering through the farm. There was a section of freshly cut trees ready to take home near the front but rows and rows of trees still rooted to the ground off into the horizon, all dusted with this week’s newest burst of powdery snow. It was a magical thing to see really.

Your sister was happily tucked into Hoseok’s lithe side, one arm looped through his, the other hand cradling a hot cup of cocoa with a candy cane poking out of the lid. Nothing if not festive. You’d opted to save your cup for later. You liked the brisk air, and you liked both your hands being deeply plunged in the warmth of your fleece lined pockets.

“Cell reception is shit up here.” Hoseok piped up. “I tried to text Namjoon to see if he was working today but all I got back was the green text bubble of death.”

“Boo, Joonie’s the worst at charging his phone too. It’s probably dead,” your sister giggled.

“Guess I’m never gonna meet your jolly green giant, Hobes,” you bumped his elbow with yours.

“With the brain of archibald asparagus,” your sister added.

“Sexy brain, that man has,” Hoseok sighed with envy.

“Your brain is sexy too, babe.” Your sister tipped up on her toes to kiss Hoseok’s wind-chapped cheek.

“Not as sexy as his,” Hoseok nodded resolutely.

“Oh, what about when he wears his little wire rimmed professor glasses?”

“Too hot. He’d melt the snow,” Hoseok swooned.

“Goodness, are you in love with my sister or him?” You teased.

“Both,” Hoseok admitted, a little too sincerely, clutching at his heart over his oversized parka.

“I don’t blame him,” your sister nodded sagely. You quirked a brow at her and she simply shrugged, all innocence, zero guilt. “What? Don’t look at me like that. Trust me, it’ll make sense when you see him.”

“If I ever see him. I’m pretty sure he’s a myth.” Your skepticism came out with a snort and an opaque puff of air.

Geeze, it’s cold.

────────────────────────

At some point in the wandering, you got distracted watching a small child drag their parent by the wrist to the tree of their dreams. The scene was so wholesome and sweet. The little girl squealed with delight as a pair of squirrels skittered past them in chase, twining their way up her tree and darting down and away, ruffling soft powdery snow loose from the tree’s needles in their wake like a fairy sprinkling pixie dust.

The whole interaction was so idyllic that you’d stopped paying attention to where you were going and plowed directly into the broad back of what you were sure must be a bear. What else could it be? No man’s back was that broad, that’s for sure.

The force of it knocked you flat back on your bum, leaving you dazed in a little pile of crunchy snow and loose pine needles.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

The words came too fast, too rushed, and at sure as hell too deep of an octave to come from anyone you knew, man or bear included.

There was a massive olive green, gloved hand shoved in your face- apparently attached to whoever was apologizing so profusely. You grabbed on and let it hoist you up. Goddamn, whoever this was was strong. After flying backward just a few seconds ago, you were now flying forward, toppling directly into what seemed to be just as equally broad a chest as the back you had crashed into moments ago.

“Are you alright? I can’t believe I did that. Are you o-“

The rambling ocean wave of a voice stopped crashing over you the second you looked up and locked eyes with what you were sure was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen in person.

“Holy shit,” you muttered under your breath.

The man’s full lips seemed to gape as he looked at you.

Not necessarily in an objectionable way. It was more like, the tape in his brain had spun off the track and tangled itself up like an old cassette that needed help being wound back up again. It was like his thoughts were written all over his face. If you knew him better, you could have read them like a novel. For now, you knew one thing.

He was pretty when he was thinking.

Hell, he was pretty, period.

And two, he was solid as an ox.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Mr Yun’s gonna kill me if you’re hurt. I should have been paying more attention.” He patted down the sides of your ribs and torso like he was half expecting a bone to be jutting out.

“I’m okay. I’m good. i-“ am still holding his pecs, you realized.

What a Christmas miracle they were. Geeze. He had better boobs than you. You swallowed once then smiled up at him. “Do you, by any chance, work here?”

He blinked at you. There was snow on his eyelashes. His tiny dark green beanie wasn’t doing any good at shielding his face from the snow, but god did the color look good next to his golden skin.

“Um, yes, actually. I do. Again, I’m so sorry that I-“

“Shush, enough of that. You’re going to help me pick my tree.”

“I am?”

It was his turn to swallow.

“I mean, yes. Of course I am. Can. What are you looking for?”

He was nervous. So visibly nervous. You weren’t sure if it was because of you or if it was just his general disposition. Either way, you were hopelessly endeared by it. Pretty, bumbly, abominable snowman of a man. With great tits.

“Well, I came here in a Mini Cooper, so… whatever will fit on top of that, I guess.”

He blinked again, before he smiled- wide and gracious. His eyes crinkled at the edges and Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

His dimples.

How obscene.

“Sounds like a great place to start, to me.” He laughed for the first time. It was so boisterous and rich, you were sure he’d cause an avalanche.

The sound was as deep as winter, but soothing and warm. You already wanted to hear it again.

Oh boy. You really liked this one.

────────────────────────

“So what technically constitutes ‘ethically sourced’ when it comes to Christmas trees?” You looked wide-eyed up at Namjoon.

“Um… you know I… well, usually I-I would know the answer to that.”

“But right now, you don’t?”

“I mean, I can’t say that I do.” He shrugged ruefully.

“Despite currently being employed on a Christmas tree lot?” You arched a brow at him, a wry smile pulling at your lips.

“That does seem to be the case, yes.” His brows pinched at his own glum response.

“Are you new?” Mirth glittered in your eyes as you watched him.

“No, actually, I’ve been helping Mr. Yun since college… senior year of high school technically, actually.” Namjoon looked a bit lost in space as he wracked his brain for his qualifications.

“So you should have seniority around here?”

“Sort of ? It’s just , you know, mr. yun is a friend of my parents and he’s always been good to me so I always try to return the favor and help out every year, if I can.” He swallowed.

He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He literally talked to people for a living. He could sell a polar bear ice, for Pete’s sake. But every time he made eye contact with you, he was practically on the verge of forgetting his own name so this whole witty repartee thing was an absolute struggle in ways it absolutely should not be.

“Well, he’s very lucky to have you then. Even if you can’t tell me where this tree came from.” You chuckled.

“No, I that- that I can do. All our Douglas firs come from grey farms about two hours north of here. Again, super kind family. They’ve been doing this for generations, actually.”

He found himself affectionately gripping the top of the tree while you smiled up at him like you had a secret and he felt a new rush of sweat rise beneath the fold of his beanie.

“So locally sourced then.”

“Family owned.” He nodded.

“Well now, that’s a great start. You know more than you let on.”

You tapped an index finger into the down of his puffy coat and he felt himself flush, wishing he could have actually felt that touch against his skin. The color in his cheeks only deepened further at the thought, aware of how absurd it was to want that kind of skin contact from a woman he’d barely met ten minutes ago, knowing even deeper down still that the absurdity of it didn’t make it any less true.

He didn’t have any idea what to do with that.

Every part of him felt like he was back in middle school right now. It had been ages since something this simple was this difficult for him. Trying to figure out how not to trip over his words while maintaining eye contact with the you and your luminous smile really wasn’t working…. at all. He should have been better at this by now, he sighed. His thirteen year old self would be so disappointed to see just how little progress he’d made in the smoothly interacting with pretty girls department in a decade and a half.

“So, should I choose to re-home this lovely tree, do you know of anyone who could, say, strap it to the roof of my car for me?”

Your eyes were twinkling, face framed by the softly falling snow flurries that had started up again and Namjoon felt himself swallow.

“I- I would be happy to find-“

“There you are! Finally found you- Oh, hey bro! So you are working today!” A voice bright like tangy sweet lemonade interrupted Namjoon’s inelegant struggle.

“Hoseok?” Namjoon looked mystified at the pair of you as Hoseok clasped a mittened hand around your shoulder. “How do you two-“

“This is my girl’s sister, y/n, remember? I told you we were helping her move in last week.” He explained with a happy shrug.

“This is… you’re… wow. Hey. Nice to officially meet you.” Namjoon released the tree to dizzily shake your hand, trying his best to ignore your amusement at his manic behavior.

“So you’re the mysterious friend who was too busy to help with the u-haul unloading, huh?” You quirked a brow up at Namjoon. He looked a bit green around the gills as his snow frosted lashes fell away from your gaze.

“We were slammed here that day. If it makes you feel any better, I got so much pine sap all over me that I had to toss my favorite gloves away.”

“Tsk. Now why would that make me feel better?” You teased as something mischievous glinted in your eyes.

“Because my shitty friend status made me suffer?” Namjoon shrugged.

“Well, we weren’t friends yet,” you grinned. “But now that we are, I think it’s only right that you should come over when you’re off to help the three of us decorate my new locally sourced, freshly cut Christmas tree”

“Oh absolutely!“ Hoseok piped in. “You haven’t hung out in weeks- you have to come.”

His endearing smile beamed bright across his face in a way that was impossible to fight. Bright red bits of hair peaked out beneath his beanie as he grinned widely up at Namjoon, and Namjoon was too distracted by his openness to process his nerves at the invitation.

“I mean, I guess I… I mean I wouldn’t want to intrude on…”

“Nonsense,” Hoseok interrupted,” you’d only be making the party better! Y/n needs all the friends she can get anyway. Poor thing’s stuck hanging out with us all the time- she could use a few new faces in the rotation, right little sis?” He hip checked you, ruffling your hair with the hand slung over your shoulder.

“Not your little sis yet,” you countered, eyes full of challenge.

“Wait, Hobi, this Christmas are you gonna…” Namjoon twisted his left hand, the gesture caught vaguely somewhere between the Queens wave and the single ladies dance.

Hoseok pulled a nervous face, brows lifting and jaw tightening until his smile bared all his teeth, as he patted the chest of his puffer coat.

“I’ve been carrying it around for weeks actually. Can’t seem to find the right time.”

“Are you insane?” You swatted him. “You brought it with you here? What if you lose it in the snow, you dummy?!”

“Ow!” Hoseok rubbed his shoulder dramatically. “The little ones are always fighters.”

You rolled your eyes as Namjoon blushed for reasons beyond him. Maybe he didn’t need any more explanation than the fact that you were cute as hell and he liked seeing you laugh.

“Your sister would never hit me like that,” Hoseok huffed.

“Yeah, she doesn’t have to because she knows I’d do it for her. Now why on gods green earth is the ring just chilling in your pocket while you stroll through endless yards of nature??”

“I keep it with me in case there’s a moment that just feels right. I’ll already be ready, you know.”

Hoseok’s face was far away, dreamy.

Namjoon was happy for him, even if he wanted a little piece of his friend’s wonder for himself one day.

“I still think you should propose to her at home in your little jungle. You have to know how happy that would make her,” you asserted.

Namjoon thought back to his last visit to Hoseok’s apartment. The walls had almost been alive with the amount of trailing vines climbing toward the ceiling. It was otherworldly, serene, like an indoor garden. It would be a spectacular place to propose actually.

“I think she’s right. It would be pretty damn perfect, Hob.” Namjoon offered.

“Ooo, did you hear that?” Slipping out from under Hoseok’s slinky arm, you attached yourself to Namjoon’s bulky one. “He already knows I’m always right. The company you keep, Hobi. I like this one.”

You squeezed Namjoon’s bicep, and he swore he could feel the warmth of your touch through his puffer jacket. He knew his cheeks had to match Hoseok’s fire engine hair now.

“Hey, be sweet to him. He’s sensitive,” Hoseok tutted as he pinched Namjoon’s rosy face despite being swatted away by one Namjoon’s big hands.

“I… is this the tree you’re settled on y/n? If it is, I should start getting it wrapped for you.”

“Hoist it on the beige Mini Cooper in the back, eh Hulk?” Hoseok patted his unoccupied bicep, giving it a happy squeeze as he pushed past Namjoon. “Im off to find where my poison Ivy wandered off to again. Probably somewhere talking to the cedars.” He shook his head softly but gosh, there was nothing but fondness in his happily crinkled eyes. “You two don’t get up to anything too wild while I’m gone now, yeah? We haven’t even brought out the baileys and the eggnog yet. Save it for later - or I’ll be the one kissing Joonie under the mistletoe.”

Hoseok wiggled his fingers and brows in puppety unison as he vanished through the trees, leaving Namjoon alone with you once again.

“He’s quite the character isn’t he?” You chuckled.

“You have no idea.”

“He’s good to my sister though. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“They’re pretty made for each other,” Namjoon nodded in assent as you sighed.

It wasn’t until he looked down to catch your expression that he realized you were still holding onto his arm. Jesus Christ of Nazareth, was he going to faint in a Christmas tree lot?

You looked up then, a soft giggle bubbling out of you when you saw whatever his distress was doing to his face, and squeezed his arm before walking a few snowy paces ahead.

“Come on, tiger. The quicker we take care of this, the quicker we can get out of the cold.”

Namjoon had never followed anyone faster in his life.

────────────────────────

Why had the three of you come in a compact car?

This was pure delusion.

The tree Namjoon had helped you pick loomed over the front windshield like something from whoville. Good thing you weren’t the one driving. Good luck with that visibility, Hobi.

You and your sister stood side by side, linked at the elbow while the two men tied the tree down to the roof of the car.

“Think we’ll tip over in a strong breeze?” You queried.

“I think we’ll tip over if anyone even looks at us funny,” your sister giggled.

Her laughter was contagious and soon you were both cackling uncontrollably as Hoseok and Namjoon secured your dr Seuss tree to the roof of her car. Namjoon looked back over his shoulder, making accidental eye contact with you. You let your gaze rove over his absurdly pretty face, eyes lingering around the high corners of his cheekbones and the doughy imprints of those audaciously sweet dimples of his.

“My god, just look at him,” you sighed. “It’s like heaven tried to make focaccia bread when they made his face and decided to stop two pokes in because it was already perfect.”

Your sister looked between you and Namjoon, chuckling when the giant of a man turned away bashfully, as if those big shoulders could make him disappear.

“I told you he was pretty,” she shrugged. “And you gave me your judgy eyebrows.”

“I was a fool,” you sighed again. “In my defense, I didn’t know there could be boys prettier than Hobi around here.”

“Wait til you meet the children. Jimin and Jungkook are so beyond anything you could even comprehend. Beautiful little whores.”

“There’s more?” Your brows shot up high.

“Oh and Taehyung! Taehyung will charm you right out of your coat. He’s the dangerous one. I can’t even make eye contact with him without stammering,” she shook her head in derision.

“Whew boy, what a winter we’re in for.” You rocked up on your toes with a whistle.

“Winter is a mercy. Seokjin’s shoulders in summer? Glory be.”

Lovingly, you squeezed her tighter into your side. “At least we have Yoongi on our side.”

“Oh, no ma’am, we do not. He’s the worst one!”

“Min Yoongi ?” You gasped. “No!”

“Yes! He’ll sneak right up on you out of nowhere just when you think you’re finally friends and keep your glass full of wine all night until you accidentally spill all your most embarrassing high school secrets,” she muttered.

“No,…not the pyramid.”

“Yes, the pyramid. And he’ll get it on tape too. Adorable little bastard. Don’t let that cute little gummy smile fool you. He’s ruthless.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard your big sister curse before.

The pout on her face was too priceless not to laugh at so you did. The laughter was robust and full- it came straight from somewhere deep in your belly and pretty soon she was laughing too, hiding her face in the faux fur collar of your coat. The two of you clinging to each other as you cackled like wild children in the snow.

────────────────────────

Hoseok looked over the roof at the two of you and melted into an inordinately affectionate grin.

“You could just go ask her now and put yourself out of your misery, you know,” Namjoon chuckled to himself.

“Nah, she’s so happy right now. I’ll let them have their moment.”

Namjoon let himself study you.

The two of you looked so much alike yet so different. Your sister was all spun sugar and sweetness, quick as a dragonfly on the breeze. But you, well, he didn’t quite know how to put it into words. You were still sweet, but it was different. There was something more rich, a bit more solid about your aura. If your sister was candy floss, then his best guess - based on his limited interaction with you- was that you were salted caramel.

The thought had him pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He wanted to know what else made up the pieces of you. He wanted to get off this shift so he could be in the same room as you. So he could be alone with you.

He wanted to get you under the mistletoe and taste those pretty lips of yours.

But of course, that meant he had to have a coherent conversation with you first.

“Hey, quit undressing my baby sister with your eyes,” Hoseok snapped.

Namjoon shook his head, rattled the stars out of his eyes.

“My bad. Sorry, man.”

“I’ll let it slide this time,” Hoseok huffed. “Hey, I think I’m getting good at this protective big brother thing. That was pretty convincing right ?” He beamed proudly.

“More than you know… hey, we should be good here.”

Namjoon patted the now secure tree, rustling a bit of soft snow loose from its branches.

“Then it’s time to get this baby back on the road!”

Hoseok slapped the chassis and the car jingled— jingled!

“I can’t believe you’re gonna marry a Christmas elf,” Namjoon snickered.

“Hey, you’re one to talk, Yukon Cornelius. You work at a damn tree farm. Don’t judge me. Besides, I’m sure you’ll be next. Y/n is just as bad as her sister.”

Namjoon stole another glance your way, his eyes darting away in a flash when he realized you were already watching him, something sultry glittering in your gaze that he tucked away in his pockets to think about later.

“Maybe being next wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” he smiled to himself.

────────────────────────

Before you could get off the tree lot, Namjoon was running back to the car, something small in his hands that you couldn’t make out.

You were crammed in the back seat between the extra boughs your sister had bought to turn into wreaths and garlands. All the evergreen scents made you feel like a new car air freshener. God. It was gonna be a long ride back to the city.

Namjoon knocked on the glass in a hurry, and you rolled the window down. What on earth was he-

“You never got your cocoa.”

“What?”

“You said you were gonna wait to nurse it on the ride home so I got… I got you cocoa.” His volume trailed as he handed the cup to you, like he was second guessing every action in his life that had brought him to this moment.

“Oh, I…” you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t trust yourself not to open your mouth and accidentally tell him you were already in love with him and did he know a guy who could get you both a marriage license by sundown.

“Kim Namjoon. You absolute sweetheart,” your sister gushed from the front seat.

Namjoon’s cheeks went from rosy from the cold to plum from embarrassment. You’d never wanted to kiss someone’s eyelashes before.

“Well, that’s all. I gotta get back. i-“

“Thank you,” you whispered, eyes flicking up from beneath your lashes to meet his.

“I…. Yeah. I.. I hope you like it.” His smile was wide, inebriated, giddy. You swore you could see the stars during the daylight.

“I’m sure I will. Six o clock. Tonight. You can come right?”

He nodded, bobbleheaded and boysish.

“Yeah. I’ll grab the address from Hobi.”

“Oh will you now?” Hoseok piped up from the front.

“Hobi, shut up or I will end you,” you threatened through your own teeth as he and your sister laughed at you.

“Tonight?” You called to Namjoon as Hoseok began to shift the car into gear.

“Tonight!” Namjoon shouted back, both his arms waving over head as the car pulled off and he shrank into something small in the distance.

Settling back in your seat, you brought the cup to your lips and breathed in the steamy liquid. You noticed a little black heart drawn in sharpie on the cup, remembered seeing a sharpie tucked behind one of Namjoon’s ears and smiled to yourself like you’d just been passed a note in eighth grade.

You looked up to see two sets of eyes watching you in the rear view.

“Oh god, eyes on the road mom and dad. This has nothing to do with you.”

Your sister giggled, “well I for one am very happy for both of you.”

Hoseok chimed in with a “right? They’re cute.”

God. What a pair of menaces.

You sank in your seat but couldn’t help but smile.

“He is cute, isn’t he?” You whispered into your cocoa cup.

Maybe this wouldn’t be such a long ride home after all.

────────────────────────

“Why did I let you make me think this was a good idea? I don’t even have any furniture! What, we’re gonna make that Goliath sit on boxes for a chair?”

You were frazzled. Namjoon had texted Hobi that he’d be at your place in half an hour. Suddenly the idea of that massive man being in your tiny apartment drinking eggnog out of a solo cup that you’re sure would look like a shot glass in his massive hands made no sense at all.

“First of all, this was your idea,” Hoseok chuckled,” so don’t pin this on me.”

“Traitor.” You whispered.

“But if it makes you nervous, I can shout out the boys to swing by.”

“What? How does that make any sense? Why would we add more people I have no place for? Come on now, use the brain in that pretty head, Hobi.” You rapped your knuckles against his temple as he laughed at you- laughed!

“ I am! It’ll make it feel less like a date. Less pressure to talk one on one there’s a little more of a crowd,” he shrugged like it was that easy. Maybe it was.

“Okay. Fine. Do it. But somebody’s gonna have to bring food cuz there’s nothing in that fridge but eggs and kombucha.”

“God, we need to feed you, little one.” Hobi frowned, concerned.

“Groceries are on tomorrow's to do list. I wasn’t expecting to feed a small army today. I was just gonna grab some take out once you and the missus went home.”

“And you still can. I’ll see if JK can snag something from work.”

A key jingled in the lock as your sister shimmied her way in the door, arms filled with Christmas decorations with a string of gold tinsel draped across her throat like a feather boa.

“I’m back! Hobi, baby, I texted you. Can you bring the other bin up?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and darted out the door.

“Holy mackerel, it’s gonna look like Santa’s workshop exploded in here.” You took in the sheer amount of tinsel, lights and decor your sister had managed to manhandle up the stairs.

“Oh stop you. They’re just extra decorations and props from the photography studio. I figured you can use what you like, and we’ll just put them back when the season’s over.” She shrugged.

“I’ll take free decorations that I don’t have to store any day.” You asserted with a grin. Peeling the sticky back off a command strip, you climbed up on a chair to hang the dang thing as close to the ceiling as you could reach. Your sister came behind you to spot you. No sense letting you break your neck before the guest of honor even got here.

“Most of our mini sessions are over anyway. Nobody should be trying to book their Christmas card photos after December 14th, and if they do, they deserve the Charlie Brown Christmas tree they get.”

It always tickled you when your sister tried to be matter of fact. You knew good and well she was too accommodating not to at least try to bend.

“Lay down the law, sis. Hey, hand me those string lights will you. Can you plug them in?”

The room burst into light in a cacophony of colors.

“Whew. Multi. Bold.”

“Sorry, I didn’t check if they were colorful or warm white first. Shoot.”

She looked so chagrined. It was so sweet. Here she was being so giving and thoughtful, and she really thought you were gonna have the nerve to be picky.

“Shush, you. They’ll look great. It’s kind of… cozy. Very vintage Christmas. Nostalgia chic,” you smiled, and she smiled with you, relieved.

“Hey, you don’t need to be nervous about Joonie.”

“I don’t?” You looked up at your sister through your lashes.

“He’s really a sweetheart.”

“I mean, I can tell that from space.” You smiled.

“Don’t be smart, you know what I mean, dummy.”

“Wait, which one am I ? Smart or dumb?” You laughed.

“Goofy. But I mean it. He’s such a good guy. His last relationship didn’t go so well,” the color of your sister’s voice changed then. “It was a long time ago. It was. I’m sure he hardly thinks about it anymore. It’s just, I think we’re all rooting for him to find someone who realizes just how lovely he is.”

Hobi chose just then to come clunking through the front door.

“Look who I found!”

Sure enough, all six foot something of Namjoon was right behind him, bashfully twisting a Santa hat between his nervous hands despite still wearing his little green beanie from the tree farm on his head.

Thirty minutes, my ass, you grumbled internally. But out loud you said : “Hey! You made it!”

He looked so big in your doorframe like that. Were his shoulders going to fit? Surely he was going to get stuck like Santa in a chimney flue.

“Looks like you guys got the tree up no problem.” He offered gently.

“Me and Hobi accessed our inner lumberjacks and got it done.” You flexed one bicep and Hoseok patted it like it was made of steel. You both giggled like the weirdos you were as Namjoon smiled softly, still hulking in your doorway like a vampire in need of an invite to cross the threshold.

“Come inside, you silly boy,” your sister tutted. “You’ve let half the winter in.” She tugged Namjoon’s sleeve as he ducked his head to come inside. God, you wanted to climb him like a tree.

He looked so nervous shucking his snow-caked boots off by your front door. It made you want to put him at ease.

“I can take your coat, and… whichever piece of headwear you’d prefer not to wear,” you eyed his double hat situation for the second time as he seemed to notice it for the first.

“Oh shoot. Am I still?” He snatched at his scalp and realized it was shrouded in green yarn. Pulling the beanie off, he inadvertently gave you a glimpse of his face framed by his thick head of tousled ebony hat hair. You weren’t sure if you wanted to climb up to fix it for him or pull him into your room and make it worse. “Can I use your bathroom?” He blurted.

“Mmm hmm. Down the hall, to the right.”

He thanked you, banking around you and the corner to hide in the bathroom.

As the door clicked shut, you locked eyes with your sister across the room. Even you felt how desperate you looked. She had the gall to laugh at you.

Traitor.

────────────────────────

Maybe this was going to be alright after all.

Sure enough, each of Hoseok’s boys rolled in, each one prettier than the last. The apartment had never been so blessed.

Jungkook brought two massive trays of food from chick fil a with enough side sauces to last until the apocalypse. What a fascinating juxtaposition he was. Wide eyes, innocent pink lips puckered unsurely around a little silver hoop and the dimensions of a Mack truck. How someone with that much ink curling across his skin was allowed to serve the lord’s chicken, you did not know, but you did know that god himself must have had a hand in sculpting his perky little peach of an ass. Glory.

Jimin and his obscenely pretty face brought champagne. Taehyung and his intense eyebrows brought vintage Christmas vinyls and a record player that looked like an old leather suitcase that he’d carried up the stairs on his hip like a briefcase. As soon as he’d gotten settled he’d put on Bing Crosby’s rendition of “white Christmas” and waltzed with Jimin around your kitchen island.

Seokjin brought the good food. Yoongi brought the good liquor. Your sister and Hoseok brought the laughter and joy.

It was a perfect way to spend a December night.

Somewhere during the course of the night, seokjin - who was wearing a Christmas sweater with an embroidered cat on it that he referred to as The Second Coming of Min Yoongi- decided to make an old fashioned popcorn garland for your tree. As he and Yoongi squabbled over how to properly thread a needle, you realized it had been ages since you’d seen Namjoon.

When he’d emerged from the bathroom earlier, his soft skin had been glistening as if he’d splashed water on his face. His hair looked to have been slicked back with wet hands, while one stubborn piece jutted forward to softly frame his brows. You’d gulped down your drink and avoided eye contact, knowing good and well your face was probably screaming “for the love of god, please marry me” every time you looked at him.

In your self-preservation, you feared it may have come across as plain avoidance. You needed to find him.

He’d driven all this way.

The tree farm was so far and he’d been working in the cold all day. Yet somehow he was here in your tiny home, without a single complaint.

Earlier in the night, you’d nearly tipped off your chair ladder trying to put the star on your tree and he’d caught you, scooping you up bridal style like it was as natural for him as breathing air. It was an unnecessary gesture. You really hadn’t been that far off the ground and the show of strength was absolutely welcome but embarrassing nonetheless. You’d been cradled in his chest again and god, it had taken everything in you to fight the instinct to bury your face between his pecs.

“Stop objectifying my sweet baby. You’ll taint him.” Hoseok had teased from across the room.

You’d shot him a death glare as a glum Namjoon had placed you gently on the ground.

“Sorry. Hope I didn’t make that awkward. I just… you were falling and…”

“It’s alright, Joon. Thank you.” Your smile was earnest. You watched the way his reaction played across his face like a movie. It made you want to kiss him. “Besides, I should’ve put the tallest man on the job in the first place.”

His dimples had reappeared then, and you’d felt the oxygen in the room go thin.

You’d been avoiding him ever since.

Pressing up off your IKEA futon and stepping around the push up - off a shirtless Jungkook was currently doing as Jimin sat cross legged on his back and Taehyung counted, you set off to find Namjoon.

In less than six hundred square feet, there weren’t many places he could go. Everyone else was in the kitchen/living room. That really only left the open bathroom, the balcony- which your sister and Hoseok were currently cuddled up on, watching the snow fall- and your bedroom.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find when you pushed open the door, but somehow Namjoon folded up on the floor studying the lower tier of your bookshelf actually made loads of sense. You hadn’t been aware someone that large could fold themselves into something so small. His long fingers trailed over the spines of your favorite books and something in your lower belly swirled.

You could have spent the rest of the night just watching him read.

That, however, even in your own home, might be kinda creepy so you decided to announce your presence instead.

“Howdy stranger,” you crooned, leaning shoulder first into the door jamb.

Namjoon startled, clutching his chest like you’d just given him a heart attack. His long limbs flailed, knocking into the bookshelf like the baby moose he was, sending a small picture frame careening down onto his head. It knocked his Santa hat off kilter, leaving the beautiful man looking like a bamboozled disaster.

Your laughter filled the room as he collected himself, straightening his hat and placing your frame back on the shelf. You came to sit beside him, hugging your knee and leaning one shoulder into his.

“Whatcha doing? Whatcha reading, more importantly?” You shot him a pointed look paired with a smile you hoped was disarming.

“Oh. Uh, nothing yet. I didn’t mean to pry. I just… well there was so much going on in the living room. I just wanted to get some air so I stepped in here, but I ended up getting lost in your book collection.”

His fingers trailed their spines again, and you felt a shiver down yours.

“You like to read?”

It was a pitiful question on your part really. Clearly he did. He was surrounded by your personal mini library, and it was the most comfortable you’d seen him be all day.

“Oh it’s the best thing, really. You can learn so much about a person by looking at the things they like to read.”

“And what have you learned about me?”

You felt yourself hold your breath as he looked down, dimples daring to show themselves again now that the two of you were in a private place.

“Well, it seems like you appreciate the classics, for one.”

His finger traced the curve of letters embossed in gold on an ivory spine.

“I went through an intense thrift shopping phase over the last few years. I got kind of obsessive about collecting beautiful books,” you confessed.

“You should come to my store sometime then. You’d love the first editions section.”

There was a pride glittering in beautiful dark brown eyes, the first swell of something like confidence showing in them.

“You work at a bookstore too?” You tilted your head to the side in question as his trademark sheepishness returned.

“Um, own. Co-own, really. Between me, Seokjin and Yoongi.”

“Stop- seriously?” You felt yourself press into his space without meaning to. The sharp, earthy smells of cedar and pine still swirled on him, but underneath that was soft clean soap. You found yourself wanting to press your nose into his throat. You realized too late that your eyes had been doing it for you, and Namjoon had caught you doing it.

Cleaning his throat, something in him seemed to grow bold.

He didn’t shy away anymore. He pressed up off the palms he’d been leaning back on and leaned into your space like you did into his. His thumb pulled your bottom lip out of your teeth, tracing along the edge of it softly.

“Seriously.”He whispered, the timber of his voice deep as winter.

His deep set gaze grew heavy as the moment lingered. You caught sight of his tongue flicking out to wet his full lips as his thumb traced yours and suddenly you felt all your grace leave you all at once.

“You should stay.”

It came out breathy, soft. You knew your face must have given away how molten you felt beneath his touch. He chuckled gently, eyes warm as he smirked. Only half a dimple this time, you noticed.

“Stay?” He arched a brow your way.

“When the others leave… you should stay.”

It was crazy, but the lightheaded part of you that was under his spell couldn’t think of anything else she wanted more.

Suddenly, he was soft again. Eyes no longer serpentine but wide. Kind.

“Is that… would you… like that?”

You smiled at him, sweet as strawberries, and then you were kissing him.

Just once. Slow, gentle, but deep.

There was a hint of cinnamon on his lips. Hobi had picked up some horchata at his favorite taqueria on the way back. He must have given some to Joon. You smiled against his mouth, licked into it once. Felt his chest vibrate with the groan it created.

When you pulled back, he was dazed, staring at you like you were made of stars. Eyeing you like he wanted to know what else you were made of. His lip bitten like he was too hungry to wait.

“Stay.” You breathed again.

“I’ll stay.” He whispered back.

────────────────────────

When the last person had left the apartment, you’d locked the door behind them.

Suddenly it was truly just you and him.

You’d turned, back to your front door and looked at him, eyes sultry, smile sweet.

Namjoon was across the room, too busy drinking you in to remember how to move. But you hadn’t forgotten, it seemed. You took your time crossing the small room. The vivid lights cast bursts of blue and red across your skin- it made your eyes look unearthly, tempting in a way Namjoon was incapable of fighting.

You stopped in front of him, palms pressed to his chest. He felt his eyelids grow heavy at the sensation, but he wouldn’t let his eyes close. Not yet. He didn’t want to miss a moment of you.

You slid your hands up his chest, alongside his throat, skimming his jaw and cupping his face. You stood between his legs and god, did he want to rock his hips against you. You were already leaning into him, your hips pressed into his pelvis. What were his corduroys gonna do? He knew you could feel him already swelling against you.

Your brushed soft thumbs across the angles of his face. He reciprocated by tenderly pushing your hair out of your face. Was your heart racing like his?

Slipping his hands down, he tugged the buckle of your belt forward into him with a thunk. He crept his thumbs beneath the sweater you’d tucked into your high black jeans, and let his fingers swirl against your stomach, smoothing over the dips at your waist. Your body was so soft. He felt himself grow warmer, swell against you harder. When your eyes clouded over and your bit your lip, he knew he was sunk.

“I’m gonna take this off now, okay ?” He whispered, tugging at your sweater as you nodded, glassy eyed and obedient, up at him. Jesus.

Why was he whispering? He didn’t know. It just felt right, he thought. Felt right like being beside you all night had felt. Felt right like he knew being inside you was gonna feel.

When he slipped the sweater up over your head, your earring got caught. A little gold hoop snagged in the knit.

Breathe, he reminded himself, go slow. You don’t have to rush.

He soon realized that was advice he was going to need to take to heart in more ways than one the second he untangled you and saw your glittering smile glowing brightly, saw the way your breasts were spilling smooth and fleshy over the confines of your lacy little balconette bra.

Jesus. Fuck.

Turns out he’d said both out loud and your glossy eyes grew hungrier the longer he looked at you.

“Do something, daddy.” You teased, voice low, gaze heady.

“Christ, y/n,” he drawled as his self-control blacked out.

Soon he was pushing your breasts together, burying his face between them. Sucking one into his warm mouth, scooping the other loose from the dark lace. He had one large hand firmly fitted just behind the buckle of your jeans as the other cupped your breast that wasn’t in his mouth, thumb diligently flicking your nipple until it grew stiff like a meringue peak. He slipped that one in his mouth then, tongue picking up pace his thumb had set and tweaking the nipple on your other breast.

You panted beneath his touch, sinking and molding into him like warm clay in his hands. He wasn’t sure when his hips had started to glide against you, but god, yours were moving too, supple and fluid like water. He needed to get you out of the rest of these clothes. He needed to find out if he could mark your breasts and neck black and purple with his mouth like he wanted to while he fucked you. You really did taste sweet, just like he thought you would. God, he wanted to take a bite out of you.

Pleasantries first though, he reminded himself.

Pushing his head back against the wall, he tried to catch his breath but your nimble fingers were working open the snaps on his corduroys instead.

“Question-“ he asked breathless.

“Answer,” you grinned, triumphant as you finally popped the latch on his pants.

“Jesus, fuck. Cripes.” His eyes fluttered shut as you ran his zipper down and reached beneath his boxer briefs to grab him.

“Which one of those was a question?” You smirked, licking your thumb before brushing it gently across the fleshy tip of him. His stomach dipped in, toned muscle crunching in on itself as your big man buckled under your touch.

“Okay, okay okay. I’m gonna have to ask this quick before you make me spontaneously finish on your tits touching me like that. Whew.” His eyes were blown, head back. Unprepared for you licking more fingers and slipping back down to gingerly play with his balls. “Oh my gooooooood. Okay. Okay. Okay. Marks?”

“Like hickies?” You asked curiously, your hand moving of its own accord to grip him firmly at the base and pull up.

“Yeah, yeah hickies,” he panted, his pretty skin growing sweaty.

“I like that.” You smiled, wide and way too pretty for him to handle right now.”it’s winter. Go crazy, big boy.”

He nodded raggedly, his brow furrowed deep as he bit his lip. He almost looked angry, he had no way of knowing it made you incredibly aroused.

“Tits. I like your…tits. A lot. So much. They’re so pretty.”

You smiled into his throat as you kissed his neck and pumped him silly.

“Joonieee, youre so sweet.” You nipped at his collarbone, giggling at shiver that ran through him.

“Would it… could I… Jesus, woman, why are you so good at that? Screw this. Fuck it. Can I cum on you, your chest at the end of this?” His eyes were direct now, serpentine and lusty as he licked his lips, ran a thumb along the swell of your breast.

“Yeah ?” You ran your tongue along his neck, sending another tremor through him.

“Yeah. You’d look so pretty with my cum on your chest. I mean, they look so pretty already, but Yeah, god yeah I want that.” he nodded.

“Okay. Promise. You can finish on my pretty titties, if you want.” You laughed.

“I want.”

“I’ll even let you fuck them if you want.”

“Christ. You said…what?” He was out of breath, lightheaded from the thought of himself being pressed between the two warm pillowy clouds on your chest.

“Uh huh, if you don’t finish inside me first, that is,” you breathed in his ear.

“Oh my god. Not fair. Get on the bed, now.” He said it with an edge, a grit you didn’t expect from your sweet nervous Christmas tree man. A bite that made you want to obey. Made you want to fuck his brains out. Made you want to be his baby girl so you followed along and played nice. He fumbled with your belt as you melted. You did what you were told and climbed back on up onto the bed, stripping the rest of the way for him along the way.

────────────────────────

As he followed, he pulled his thick wool sweater over his head, black hair falling in gorgeous eyes as he did. The full reveal of his torso left the space between your legs glossy and sticky in ways you hadn’t known it could be. His Jeans and black boxer briefs went next and then he was climbing up and over you, golden and lanky and strong and hung.

Jesus , fuck, Indeed.

He smiled at you, sourdough dimples and serpentine eyes as he slowed down.

“I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”

You nodded, obedient, nervous, eager. You wanted him. God, how did you describe how badly you wanted Kim Namjoon? His lips were plump, sweet, inexhaustibly delicious. His tongue slipped deep into your mouth, his hand firm but sweet on your hip as it climbed up your torso.

Your tits were in his mouth again, tongue flicking wildly as he moaned around your fullness and your nipple. He tweaked the other, switching back and forth as he rutted his too big dick into the meat of your thigh.

“Question,” you gasped, breathless.

“Answer, baby,” his hooded eyes were looking darkly up at you as his thumb slipped its way down to gloss smoothly over your silky clit. You cried out, and he smiled, mouth still filled with your voluptuous tit.

“Daddy?” You questioned, and the primal groan that rattled through his chest and through the sharp twitch of his dick against your leg answered any further queries you had to ask.

“Yes, please, baby. “

He slid up to suck a dark splotch into your neck, his dick sliding up and catching on the slippery ridge of your clit as he did.

“I can call you that ? Can I call you daddy?” You gasped.

He simply nodded, dropping kisses along your collarbone and throat as he lined up to finally slip inside you. The fit was snug, the drag of him along your inner walls sublime as he rocked, working you more and more open to the massive size of him. You smiled, delirious, giddy, as he fucked you like you were divine.

You came three times that night, he came twice. Once inside you and once on your pretty tits. Then one more time down your throat in the morning.

────────────────────────

“There’s not much, but I have…. Let’s see. Coffee, kombucha, seokjin’s leftover gingerbread men… oh and eggs. Can I make you eggs?” You fluttered your lashes up at him. “I’d really like to make you eggs.”

Namjoon looked so cute. Face puffy, lips full. Hair still damp from the shower he took. You’d both been too nervous to shower together, so you’d taken turns and done it separately. You thanked god you actually owned two bath towels to make it possible. He was so adorable. It made you want to cook for the man.

“Sure,” he nodded. Mercy, his voice was even deeper in the morning. He’d barely used it so far today, aside from the sexy groans that had spilled out of him this morning when you’d woken him up with your cheek resting sweetly on his inner thigh and his cock in your warm mouth. (You’d gotten consent the night before, of course.)

“Um, how do you take your coffee? And is scrambled okay? I make really good scrambled eggs.”

He smiled warmly, his gruff exterior softening with your exuberance. He nodded his assent and you got to work getting out the egg carton, your chopsticks, the milk and your lone skillet.

“Oh, wait. Your coffee, how do you take your coffee?”

You turned in your robe, a harsh pivot, just to accidentally end up nose to Namjoon’s sweatshirt covered tits with an Ooof.

He kissed your hair, a deep chuckle from the depths of his throat booming through his chest. He was wearing one of your giant college sweatshirts ( that fit just on the roomy side of just right on him) and his black boxer briefs, his substantial thighs looking gorgeous as ever as he stood barefoot in your kitchen. What a turn of events.

He slipped his sturdy arms around your waist from behind, pushing up against the underside of your boobs and buried his blushing face in your hair.

“Black. Just a little cream is good.” He murmured as you sank back against him.

You weren’t used to how soothing another person’s presence could be.

“Gotcha. I’ll grab the-“

He chuckled, pulling you tightly into him to stop your scurrying.

“Shhh. I got it. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss deep into the skin on your neck. It melted you just a little bit further into the solidity of him.

“For what?”

“Last night. This morning. Yesterday. All of it.”

His confidence dipped again. Cockiness replaced by a sincerity so disarming you felt your heart dip softly. He’s so sweet, you thought as you gently caressed the forearm he had draped over your stomach.

“Yes, well…I ….” it was then you realized you didn’t know what to say. In lieu of words, you kissed his palm.

“You’re already making us breakfast. Least I can do is grab my own coffee… you want some?” He nudged the tip of his nose against the top of your ear.

Being that close to his voice made you shiver. You nodded without realizing it. The sound of his voice made you want to be so obedient to him. Why were you so turned on by him being kind, damnit ?

His hands fitted themselves to your hips, pushing the fullness of your bottom back against his hips. You were about to tell him you take yours with sugar and more cream than coffee when your phone began to ring.

Startled, you bolted out of his arms to find… your sister trying to FaceTime you?

Kissing Namjoon’s cheek, you stepped away to answer. Queuing up the screen, you were thoroughly unprepared for brilliant, happy screams pealing through the phone. There was too much motion to make out an image at first, until finally. you caught a glimpse of sparkle. It was the ring Hoseok had shown you a picture of the day he decided to custom order it for your sister.

“Hobi proposed!!!” Your sister squealed. No regard for the neighbors, this one.

“When?”

“Last night. When we got home. Y/n it was perfect…. I could tell he seemed weird when we were on the balcony yesterday, oddly stiff. Like he was trying to tell me something, but it wasn’t making any sense. I teased him and told him to try again later. I was just being dumb- I didn’t know! but when we got home, I had gone upstairs to change out of my Christmas tree clothes and when I came back. He was on his knees in the kitchen.”

Your sister clasped a hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with happy tears. Smart boy, he’d listened to you and Namjoon.

“Y/n, I’m gonna be a wife. I'm gonna marry Hobi. Y/n, I’m so happy I could cry,” she sniffled as tears spilled over the backs of her knuckles.

“Baby, you are crying,” you teased, your own eyes growing glassy too.

“Hey, that’s MY BABY” you heard Hoseok yell from somewhere off camera.

“She was mine first,” you stuck your tongue out petulantly.

“Congrats, man!” Namjoon cheered from his spot by your coffee pot.

“Thanks bro!” Hoseok called back.

“Wait.” Your sister started….

Oh no.

“Was that…” Hoseok added.

No. No. No. no. No.

“Oh my god. Y/n, was that Namjoon?! Did he spend the night?!? Oh my gosh are you two in love now?!?

Startled you let you out something between a yelp and a shriek, dropping your phone on the carpet.

“Did you hold onto those arms of his all night?” Your sister teased.

“Wait-“ Hoseok interrupted ,” do you have a thing for Namjoon’s arms babe?”

“Everyone does,” your sister quipped.” You do too Hobi.”

“That’s not the point… eh! We’re Balenciaga buddies!” Hoseok cheered, the snap of elastic ringing through the air.

Apparently your phone fell in such a way that the camera gave them a beautiful view of Namjoon’s sleek black briefs and the tree trunks they were stretched around.

“Stop objectifying him!” You scolded Hoseok.

“I will when you do!” He taunted.

“Oh my god I can’t do this.” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed as Namjoon scooped both you and your phone up from behind again

“Then I will.” He whispered in your ear. “Congratulations you guys!”

Hoseok and your sister gushed something sticky sweet about how obnoxiously in love you and Namjoon were and you couldn’t help it, you smiled too. You told your sister how happy you were for her, promising to call her later with all the juicy details before finally hanging up the phone and burying your face in Namjoon’s hard tiddy. Which he flexed for you, god bless him, before also flexing his yummy, yummy arms around you until you burst into a fit of giggles.

“I like this,” he whispered softly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Me too…. Got any plans today?.”

“Nope. I’m off the rest of the weekend.”

“Wanna go grocery shopping with me after I cook you eggs?”

“Are you just using me for my car?” He squinted slyly at you with a smile.

“No. That hadn’t occurred to me actually. I was actually planning on using your height and your body for my own personal benefit.” You answered thoughtfully.

“Oh.” His eyes went a bit wide like he hadn’t thought about that option. “Well. Then. Can I use you for yours?” He asked innocently.

“Sure. Although, you should know, I’m all talk. I’m the biggest softie…. I’m pretty sure if you’d asked me to marry you when we were talking tree-sourcing ethics, I would have strongly considered saying yes.”

Crap. You hadn’t planned on admitting all that. This was his fault. He was just so damn sincere. Those stupid eyes of his were so goddamn kind. You kept forgetting to put a guard up around him.

As you braced for him to be thoroughly traumatized by your admission, nothing of the sort came. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he hugged you beneath the ribs and hoisted you in a circle, nuzzling his cheek tenderly into your cheek.

“Oh thank GOD” he exhaled.

“I’m sorry- what?”

“I’ve spent all morning trying to figure out how to tell you how much I like you without making you feel like you might become the subject of the next true crime podcast.” He ran a hand through his silky hair as you stood stunned where he’d set you down to process his words.

“You….”

“Yeah…”

“That bad?”

“Honestly I’m not opposed to taking your last name if you asked me.” He shrugged.

You covered your face with both hands, shaking it ruefully despite the cosmically bright smile on your face. Soon you were both howling with laughter in each other’s arms, smiling into Namjoon’s deep eyes.

“This is crazy! We’re crazy.”

“I know.” He nodded in agreement.

“I like you.”

“I really like you.”

“I don’t know the first thing about you.”

“Let’s find out together, shall we?”

You felt your eyes fill with annoyingly happy tears. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”

“You just moved here right?”

“Yeah. Finally- should have done it ages ago. My turn-Why do you and Hoseok have matching designer underwear ?”

“We all do actually. It was Jimin and Seokjins doing a couple Christmases ago.”

“But just one pair each right?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon nodded, brows hunched in confusion.

“Okay. So that means you’re telling me you and Hobi just happened to be on the same daily boxer rotation the day you both fucked a pair of sisters with the same DNA?”

“Please don’t word it that way.” Namjoon grimaced.

“I worded it how it is,” you shrugged.

“My turn. Why do you really want me to go to the grocery with you, Hmm?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Besides the company? For the view when I make you stretch for everything I’ve ever needed on the top shelf, Babyyy.”

“Oh my god. Are you serious?” He couldn’t contain his laughter.

“As a heart attack.” You winked.

“C’mon. Show me how you make these super fluffy eggs I’ve heard so much about. I’m starving. The gorgeous girl who owns this apartment milked me dry three times in less than twelve hours. I’m famished.”

Goddamn him and those cheeky little dimples.

────────────────────────

[daytaker]

The Boys Roleplay As Themselves

mammoney: (This is a CLOSED scenario for me and my bros! Y'all can read it if you want to though. I'm gonna kick things off! @Lucifer @L3V1 @stn @AsmoBaby @Beelzeburger @Belphie) 8 ♡ DDSimeon and 7 others

mammoney:  It was 11 PM, and the Devildom was sparkling. Thousands of demons were lined up outside the hottest club south of Antarctica: Mammonteque. At the front of the line stood six of the most powerful, most intimidating, and most attractive demons you’ve ever seen, and even though the club didn’t open until midnight, the bouncer stepped aside and let them in.

“What? That’s so unfair!” shouted the demon behind them. 

But the bouncer shook his head, unmoved. “Orders from the top,” he said. Then, smirking, he added, “Clearly you didn’t recognize those guys. Must be embarrassing for you.”

Inside the club, the demons, who were all dressed in suits with boas, sunglasses, and fedoras, looked around. Just as they expected, this place was opulence itself. Golden fountains spouting gold-flake infused water. A gold disco ball hanging from the ceiling. Even the floor was made of intricately carved gold tiles.

“Obviously, Mammon is even wealthier than last time we stopped by,” said the oldest demon, looking around over his sunglasses. He quickly put them back on because the glow from the gold was too intense for him to handle.

“Wow, I never would have guessed Mammon would be as good at interior design as I am, but he proved me wrong!” said another of the demons. He was wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a bright pink feather boa, and his fedora was covered in sequins.

Another of the demons was already stuffing his face at the buffet. Luckily, the wily Mammon had seen this coming and installed a machine that pumped out an unlimited supply of cheeseburgers.

“Seeing how successful Mammon is makes me proud to have him for a big brother,” said a demon with blue hair and a Ruri-chan body pillow.

“And speak of the devil,” the oldest said, smiling as he looked over at the entrance. 

A stretch-limousine painted gold pulled up to the front of the club. Demons began to scream and cheer as the door opened. Out stepped Mammon, who looked even more handsome than usual. You-Know-Who was clinging to his arm, staring up at him like he was the greatest being in all three worlds.  6 ♡ AsmoBaby and 5 others

stn: As Mammon approached the entrance to his club, the six demons in attendance greeted him with the coolness one might expect from Hell’s most corrupt oligarchs. The identities of these demons were as follows:

Lucifer: former angel, Avatar of Pride, traitor to the Celestial Realm, now the right-hand demon to and a massive simp for Diavolo: former ruler of the Devildom; magnanimous and crafty, with a tendency to act far stupider than he truly is Leviathan: gamer, miserable to be out in public, suffering a migraine and angry that he’s missing the latest episode of his favorite magical girl anime Asmodeus: party devil, narcissist, and self-proclaimed cutest demon in the Devildom Beelzebub: gluttonous gym rat with a heart of gold and a stomach of lead, and Belphegor: who was asleep.

Mammon himself was the Avatar of Greed, and as such, he lacked any ability to control his need to amass material wealth. This being the case, he had recently upset the political order of the Devildom with a massive coup, ousting the far more competent Diavolo from autocratic power in favor of the corrupt cabal now gathered together in this gaudy anteroom.

Mammon looked at his guests while You-Know-Who wandered off, searching for somewhere, anywhere, that didn’t hurt to look at.

“Somebody’s missin’,” observed the club owner.

“A very astute observation, Young Master,” said Mammon’s butler, Barbatos, condescendingly. He had come with the deed to the Demon Lord’s castle. “You may have forgotten, but your dear brother Satan declined your offer to participate in your sham of a government, citing the proven incompetence of yourself and your brothers as the reason.”

“Oh, right,” Mammon said with chagrin. “Damn that Satan, always stickin’ to his principles instead of sellin’ out like the rest of us clowns. Hey, where’d You-Know-Who go?”

“Ah,” said Barbatos with the nod of a man forced to act as the bearer of bad news. “That noble personage appears to have fled. It seems your company became too odious to tolerate.”

“That can only mean one thing,” Mammon said, his eyes widening as the realization struck him. “You-Know-Who ran off to find Satan, since he’s obviously the better catch.” 2 ♡ LordDiavolo and Belphie

L3V1: Or so he thought. Little did Mammon realize that You-Know-Who wasn’t remotely interested in Satan. Instead, the unassuming third-born got a message on his DDD. Stealing away from the crowd, he opened up the text. It read:

“Levi, I think you know who this is. I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long. But you know it was always you. Come find me where we shared our first kiss.”

mammoney: (What the hell do you mean your first kiss???) 4 ♡ Belphie and 3 others

L3V1: (I didn’t interrupt you, asshole!)

Levi gripped his DDD with newfound resolve. He had no interest in the political machinations of his brothers and Diavolo. That part of the plot was boring and honestly too high stakes for what was supposed to be a story about a nightclub. So, slipping away from the others, Levi sneaked out through the back exit and ran for the field of flowers where he and You-Know-Who had shared a few stolen moments of tenderness. 1 ♡ LordDiavolo

Belphie: Poor Levi. He didn’t even realize that the text was sent by Solomon, who was out to troll him. As Leviathan ran off to meet with his only true love (the bitter feeling of disappointment), the youngest of the brothers yawned and looked around, assessing the situation. 

He was at a luxurious club, owned and operated by his scummy brother Mammon. He was in the company of his brothers, minus Satan and now Levi, and Diavolo and Barbatos were there too. You-Know-Who might have been there for a minute or two, but they were long gone by now, and there were hundreds of screaming demons in line, hoping for entrance to the club.

“Maybe we should have our political talks somewhere less noisy,” Belphie suggested. It was a very reasonable suggestion, so none of the other demons could really argue with him.

The seven demons piled into the golden limo outside the entrance and drove away to a less obnoxious scene. 2 ♡ stn and Beelzeburger

AsmoBaby: Except, oh no!!! The limo ran over a bunch of tacks and the tires deflated before they could get very far from the club! They had no choice but to come back. Besides, Asmodeus hadn’t gotten the chance to greet the crowds, and who knows what kind of chaos it would cause if the people learned their idol had left without offering them so much as a wave and heart fingers?

“Asmo! Asmo! Asmo!” chanted the crowd as the demons climbed back out of the limo.

“Hello, everyone!” cried Asmo with an adorable grin, waving back to the demons. They cheered more wildly than ever! Some of them even fainted when he made heart fingers. Demons all over were pulling out their DDDs and snapping photos of the most beautiful demon to ever walk the streets of hell. 2 ♡ LordDiavolo and mammoney

Beelzeburger: Beelzebub was still eating at the unlimited cheeseburger machine. He was enjoying himself. Every time I swallowed a cheeseburger, another one appeared in my hands and I ate that one too. They had relish and pickles and tomatoes and onions and mustard and ketchup on them, and I drooled just thinking about it. But not for long, because I didn’t have to think about it for more than a second or two before another cheeseburger materialized in my hands. I kept eating the cheeseburgers for the rest of the night and well into the morning. 1 ♡ Belphie

mammoney: (Beel, this was supposed to be in the third person!) 1 ♡ L3V1

Beelzeburger: (Oh, right. Sorry. I got a little caught up in my character.) 1 ♡ Belphie

monSOLO: After pulling that prank on Levi, Solomon met up with You-Know-Who at their planned rendezvous point. 

“It looks like the Devildom is entering some pretty politically tumultuous waters,” Solomon said with a chuckle. “Perhaps we’d be better off returning to the human world for the time being.”

Having agreed to this, Solomon and You-Know-Who clasped hands and vanished from the Devildom for at least the next six months or so.

mammoney: (??? What? This was a brothers only event!)

monSOLO: :) 

mammoney: (I’m retconning that whole bit. Somebody else go while I figure out how to delete it.) 1 ♡ stn

stn: Meanwhile, at the House of Lamentation…

Satan assessed the political machinations of his brothers as logically as he could. He knew that Mammon had no real interest in power; he wanted the glamor, not the responsibility. So who could possibly be the mastermind behind the acquisition of power by the second born?

It was all too obvious.

Lucifer had been playing everyone for fools–the contract lawyers of the Devildom, his brothers, even Lord Diavolo himself. Only Satan, ever wary of Lucifer’s intentions, was able to see past his lies.

Gathering together the power of all thirty-nine of his cat familiars, Satan stood at the window facing the Mammonteque club and uttered a curse so foul and forbidden that I dare not repeat it here. And at the nightclub several miles away, Lucifer dropped to the ground, an empty husk. 2 ♡ Belphie and L3V1

Belphie: “Lucifer, no!” cried Diavolo. Giant tears flooded down his face as he clutched the body of his beloved advisor and probable traitor.

“Rip,” said Levi, who had returned to the club after realizing no one was waiting for him at the field of flowers. “Rest in pieces, big bro.”

“Who could have done this?” sobbed Lord Diavolo.

“I have no idea,” said Belphie, who had an idea. But he wasn’t about to sell out his fellow Anti-Luciferian. 2 ♡ Beelzeburger and stn

Lucifer: How long do you intend to embarrass yourselves like this?

AsmoBaby: (OOC comments are in brackets, Lucifer~) 3 ♡ Belphie and 2 others

Lucifer:  Why have I been killed off after being implicated as the mastermind behind a coup to remove Lord Diavolo from power?

Belphie:  (¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 2 ♡ stn and monSOLO

stn: (I didn’t realize creativity was forbidden in this home.)

stn: (I suppose it’s my own fault for not assuming my writing would face unfair censorship.) 1 ♡ AsmoBaby

mammoney: (Okay, listen, I’ve been real tolerant of you all bunglin’ around and makin’ this whole damn activity a laughing stock, EVEN after I went out of my way to make all your characters look cool, but Lucifer, are you really gonna torch this whole thing just because of somethin’ like that?) 4 ♡ L3V1 and 3 others

Lucifer: A one month ban from Devilgram for all of you seems like a reasonable punishment. 1 ♡ monSOLO

Belphie: Are you serious?

AsmoBaby: This is so unfair! I didn’t even write any of the seditious stuff! 1 ♡ Beelzeburger

L3V1: Lmao I hate this family… 3 ♡ stn and 2 others

stn: @Belphie, would you meet me in the observatory? I have something I’d like to discuss with you. 1 ♡ Belphie

Lucifer: If I catch any of you on Devilgram within the next thirty days, I will suspend your account indefinitely. @mammoney @L3V1 @stn @AsmoBaby @Beelzeburger @Belphie 1 ♡ monSOLO

LordDiavolo: What a shame. I was enjoying the story.

(Cross-posted on AO3.)

[seventeenficsformalereader]

Kittens; Scoups

You decide to adopt three kittens when Scoups is away from home. When he comes back he is met with the most cutest thing ever.

Contains: Male reader, Scoups, kittens, only one kiss, fake mad Coups (he pretends to be mad at u for adopting kittens but how could he actually be mad)

Genre: Fluff

~Not requested~

===============

It was a basic evening for Seungcheol. He had been away from home for a while now. And because of his work he hasn't been able to see you for a long time. It was driving him insane. Not being able to see his signifigant other for such a long time made him crazy almost.

So when he got to the door of his apartment, he couldn't help but smile. He found the keys to the door from his pocket and fiddled with them for a while before finding the right key and put it in the keyhole. He opened the door and took a moment to take in the smell of his, and yours, apartment.

God, he missed that smell..

But there was something different in the smell too, but he didn't pay attention to it after he heard your laughter from the living room. He quickly removed his shoes and coat and marched in, curious to know why you were laughing.

He stepped inside of the living room fully and you turned your head to look at him. Your smile got even bigger and your eyes strated to sparkle. Quickly, you got up from your seat on the couch and jumped into his embrace. He was happy to see you again. His M/N. He pulled away from the hug to kiss your forehead.

"I missed you so much baby" He said in a quiet tone. "I missed you so much." "I missed you too-" You got cut off by a feeling of fur on your ankle. As you looked down, you saw one kitten on your leg, rubbing his head on it. You smiled and looked at Seungcheol who looked confused.

It was then when you realized that you haven't even told him that you have adopted a kitten. Or three to be exact. You reached down and took the kitten in your arms, scooping it up from the floor with ease.

"I got bored because you weren't home for so long" You muttered while staring at the cat in your arms. "What makes you think that you can adopt a kitten without my permission?" He tried to act angry, but seeing you holding that little kitty in your arms like it was a real baby made it hard to actually be angry.

"I'm sorry Cheollie~ I just missed you so much that if i didn't distract myself with something i would've completely lost it." You explained with a pout. That's what broke him from the act and his lips slowly turned upwards into a smile. "I forgive you this time. But make sure you ask the next time if you want more cats." "Yeah well.. About that" You said slowly.

Seungcheols face turned into a confused one once again. "What have you done?" He asked suspiciously. "Look what's on the couch" You answered and he did as you said. He took a step closer to it and saw two other kittens sleeping next to each other on one of the blankets.

He slowly turned around to look at you and you smiled a little. You walked past him and sat on the couch. "Let me explain, okay?" "Go on" He said with a serious expression "I couldn't decide which one i wanted. They were all too cute and they couldn't have a better home than this one. You're never here so i have plenty of time to take care of three cats" You told him and he really tried to be mad at you for adopting this many kittens without even talking to him, but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't be angry at you.

So he walked over and sat next to you on the couch, before taking one of the sleeping kittens to his arms. It then woke up and looked at Seungcheol. He smiled at the kitten and soon the other one woke up. The other cat was playful and started messing around with the others.

You were smiling and laughing at the kittens' behavior and you leaned against Seungcheols shoulder.

He rested his head on top of yours as he watched the kittens fight. "I love you" Seungcheol said. "I love you too"

===============

[wiredust]

the dead boy detectives agency as ballet dancers

ok this is purely self-indulgent and is really only a result of me trying to smash two interests together + george saying he took ballet classes for edwin's character

edwin

that one dancer who's so intimidating at the bar and has a meticulous stretch routine. by the time it's center he's doing ALL the combos, both for guys and girls. not the coolest outfits, usually just a plain white shirt, black tights. sometimes he wears a leotard but still has black tights/leggings over it ALWAYS.

his favorite exercises are anything adagio, but everyone agrees his jumps are gorgeous & he has the most perfect double tour.

every girl's favorite for partnering classes because he's so stable and can lift anyone up without trouble.

fave move: attitude promenade / least fave move: cabriole back

crystal

totally a jumper, especially loves big jumps. she's that dancer that seems intimidating at first, but then she goes up to you to give a little advice/correction and it turns out she's an actual sweetheart. always wears cool leotards with wacky patterns, and does her hair up in a different way for every class.

that OR she trained classically for a couple years but ultimately leaned more into contemp/modern with a little bit of neoclassical.

fave move: sisonne ouverte / least fave move: lame ducks (step over turns)

charles

always layers up during class but by the end he's just in a tank top in shorts. he loves small jumps and fast exercises. that one dancer at the end of the class who keeps doing a la seconde turns even when there's no music, and just casually does 5 pirouettes at a time. literally the cleanest entreche sais ever, and adds beats to every jump even if he doesnt need to.

he's also be that one guy in partnering classes who (if you're a girl) tries to spin you like 6 times even if you have no more momentum. super strong too and it would be so easy to just lean on him when balancing.

fave move: brush jete / least fave move: developpe center

niko

always the cutest outfits !! adorable leotards with matching legwarmers, skirts, and a bunwrap. adage girl with extensions and arches that everyone's jealous of. definitely a gaynor minden girly. she literally has the cleanest turns imaginable it's superhuman.

fave move: fouettes, like a sicko / least fave move: coupe jete

monty

he's a musical theater kid, obviously. (though i could see him having some classical training up until middle school or so)

[alaskan-wallflower]

hey! i saw that you wanted requests and i was wondering if it you could write hcs for Butters with a gn!reader who likes to cook and plans to go in to culinary school ( if not i completely understand) Have a good day,night, or whatever time it is for you!

Of course!!

Butters Stotch with a CHEF!S/O includes…

Let’s face it

Butters’ parents don’t take good care of him, this boy is probably almost always starving

He’s grounded almost all the time so he probably ends up having to eat a lot at lunch

Because he spends almost all of his time in his room anyway

So let’s just say that there’s some culinary class that the south park school offers

for one of your last grades you were supposed to help the school lunch ladies prepare a lunch

And the students would leave anonymous notes and requests for how to improve/what they liked

So you probably made the dessert!! You made Butters’ favorite, Strawberry Shortcake

So by the time lunch rolls around, Butters is one of the first in line

You recognize him almost instantly and he flashes you a smile.

“Well heya, Y/N! I didn’t know you were cook in’ here!”

Tbh you can probably hear his stomach rumbling and you feel kinda bad for him that his parents are so neglectful

He just blushes

”Ah, sorry about that one N/N. You’ll have to excuse my appetite there…”

You wave him off and secretly give him the largest slice of Strawberry Shortcake

He thanks you and walks away and by the time lunch is over you sit down and relax.

You go through your anonymous box and pluck through the comments, some of them helpful, some of them not, some of them calling you some sort of slur (cartman wrote his name on this one) and finally, at the bottom was one from Butters

It read ‘dear N/N. That cake was delicious! I was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, you’re really good at what you do! :)” with his number on it

And thus began your relationship!!

This is the prime example of the ‘the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ analogy

You bring Butters food when his parents aren’t home a lot of the time

And sometimes you even bake with him!!

His parents are the only issue

He’s grounded 99.99% of the time

So, you often bail him out by bribing his parents with your amazing baking

They probably force Butters into learning how to bake and cook, lucky for him you’re the perfect teacher

So you two bake a lot together!!

And you begin developing feelings for each other

Butters is your certified taste tester

And one day you’re standing in the kitchen together and you’re making cupcakes

He notices that you have a bit of batter on your cheek and goes to wipe it off but at the last minute he ends up kissing your cheek

You’re both red by the end of this

He begins to apologize but you just dip your finger in the batter and put more on your face for him to do it again

Aaand so your relationship begins!!

Food based nicknames

He calls you ‘cupcake’ and ‘nugget’ a lot

You call him ‘butterscotch’ ^^

It makes him blush like there’s no tomorrow

Still your certified taste tester

One time he got a stomach ache because of your cookie dough, he couldn’t stop eating it and you just found him on the floor with his hand on his stomach as he looks at you apologetically with the empty bowl right next to him

You didn’t mind but you did have to take care of him

He tries cooking and nearly burns the house down

You make him amazing meals for his birthdays and for your anniversaries!!

It’s a really great relationship and everyone in school thinks you’re the cutest coupe out there :D

[thesassywitchofthenortheast]

Just saw a TikTok of a coupe eloping at their city hall. And then they went home to cut a tiny little cake with their families and then went out to drinks with their friends…

And this is now my wedding headcanon for chenford until we get the canon one.

Cause that would be so freakin perfect for them 😭

(And the bride was a wearing the cutest little white dress and bird cage veil 😭 imagine Lucy in that! Dying)

[fortheloveofowen]

Luke Patterson College Au

Summary: Just some Luke college! This is more or less if Luke was in college NOW lol IDK if that makes sense, but just pretend it does

Warnings: Man-whore Luke (I eat it up), mentions of sex, mentions of drug use/alcohol use, I'm in love with Luke I'm so delulu

Note: I am literally just working, and I'm bored so typing this on my work computer :) I hope you guys like this one, I've been wanting to make a Luke college au so so badly ;) Also guys I dropped out of college soooo living vicariously through this rn

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩

Major: Childhood Education

Minor: Music Composition

Was on the hockey team freshman and sophomore year, but quit once his band started getting booked

Can't y'all just see him as the cutest little elementary school music teacher like showing his students his guitar and talking about when he was in a band awww

Luke and Alex definitely have a shared house off-campus and they like throw parties like it's nobody's business

Definitely tried to join Alex's comic book club, but was quickly kicked out because he spilled soda on Reggie's collector's edition of the original Spiderman comics

"Dude, do you know how expensive this was? Like, for real?"

Luke is definitely known as somewhat of a player around campus and pretty much everyone knows who he is. He can usually be found with his tongue down a random girls throat

But, that's what college is about for him duh

He never wanted to go in the first place, but when his parents put that check in his lap to send him to school what else could he do? Especially when his buddy, Bobby, told him about all the hot chicks running around campus

So how do you meet Mr. Luke? Well, you were couped up in the library preparing for this god awful Bio final that has been stressing you to the point of pulling your hair out when you hear some.... children's laughter???

You look to the main double-door entrance and see a gaggle of children that can't be more than 5 or 6 years old barreling through the doors

And what shocked you most was... Luke Patterson leading this wild pack of children into the building??? I guess you had just never taken interest in what his major is or really anything about him, so you couldn't be too sure what his intentions were

A quiet Luke puts up a finger to his lips and begins counting down from 10, attempting to shush the kids he was directing

"Hey guys, can we quiet down please, we can't be too loud in the library! shhhhh"

And you're like is he soft? and good with kids? Definitely not soft (or so you think right now hehe), but he is great with kids

The kids are shuffling around the library, giggling at the pages in the anatomy books while Luke sits at a nearby table

"Are they bothering you? I knew it was a bad idea to bring them here, but I-I-It's about to rain... had no idea where else to take them..."

And you're just like huh? Because one, why is he talking to you, and two, this is not the same douchebag player you thought you knew. But, you end up telling him that they're fine and you continued studying until your roommate, Julie, asked if you wanted to meet up for dinner

You don't end up seeing Luke for a while after the first meet, and you had long let him disappear from your thoughts

That is until your friend Flynn decides to drag you to a party to "celebrate" finals being over (Even though you'd rather be couped up in your room rewatching Scooby Doo if you were being honest)

The house wasn't anything too crazy, donned with LED lights and some old beer cans strewn across the porch

You had been drinking with Flynn for a while, the fresh smell of marijuana and vomit stinging your nose as you waltzed around the house

Your bladder quickly caught up with you, though, as you excused yourself from Flynn for a second to find a pisser because you know you can't hold your pee while you're drunk

So, you're bobbing around sticking your head into pretty much every single room when you finally come across a door at the end of the hallway

You turn the door handle, astonished to find it unlocked, but you let yourself in and...

There's Luke... hands under a tiny blonde girl's shirt as he kissed up and down her neck

"Oh my god, I can... I am so sorry let me just go!"

You shout almost too eager as you swiftly slam the door and make your way back downstairs, ready to tell Flynn the shit you just walked into

But, alas, your friend is sitting on the couch with Reggie, one of Luke's closest friends, you've come to find out so you averted your attention to the kitchen

It was quiet in here, other than the small bits of banter going on around you in the almost empty kitchen

You stared into your cup of whatever concoction Flynn had made you when you're startled by a sudden presence to your left

"Hey, you're the girl from the library right? Sorry about uhhh... the bathroom sitch.... just doing my civil duty haha"

Luke slurred out as he hoisted himself onto the kitchen counter beside you

You nod your head, not really trying to engage with his "type"

"You wanna dance? Everyone else here is so boring..."

You and Luke head out to the living where masses of people were dancing along to whatever rap song was blaring over the speaker

Luke instinctively holds you by the waist as you sway the entire night, especially when you sway to his bedroom and then to his bed and then.... you get the picture

And Luke took care of you that night, kissing your shoulders, looking into your eyes as he kissed up your stomach bro omg I am getting ahead of myself

But, anyways, you wake up and immediately feel TONED HANDSOME arms around your waist and you're like??? because this is definitely not your bed and who is this man?

Your eyes peak out over the covers and you have the biggest "oh fuck" moment of your life because YOU JUST SLEPT WITH LUKE PATTERSON

So, without thinking you swiftly jump up out of bed and search around his room for your clothes, but not before you're interrupted by a groan and a yawn coming from the bed

"Shit..."

You mutter under your breath as Luke peers at you through hooded lids

When did he become so beautiful and why the hell hadn't you realized until now??

"Good morning to you too... You're leaving already? Didn't enjoy the show?"

He wiggles his eyebrows at you are you're like oh... my... god I gotta get out of here so you scurry off without much of a goodbye, but not before Luke puts his number into your phone

This goes on for a while, you sneaking over to his house, sleeping in his bed, waking up in his arms, and then spending the morning talking and eating breakfast. But, no lovely-dovey shit... ever

It had become somewhat of a routine, but for Luke, this wasn't normal

He'd sleep with a girl a few times, but then ditch her before things could get too serious

But now he's got himself a drawer of your clothes, and your smile embedded in his brain

So you're over this one time and you both had woken up rather sleepy due to the events of the prior night hehehehe

And Luke is just staring at you so lovingly and it was different than any way he had looked at you before

And he just instinctively wraps you in his arms and spoons you

You're like

"Luke, didn't we say that cuddling was off the table if we're awake? We're not like together, remember?"

And he freezes and is like

"We're together. We sleep together, we spend the mornings together, we are quite literally the definition of together..."

Aww he just chews on his thumb and looks up at you through his eyelashes and just kisses you

You and Luke are the couple that literally everyone is digusted with

He constantly needs to be touching you and will literally wait outside your classes so he can flash you that geeky smile and chuckle while holding out some food or coffee

He just wants to take care of you in all ways possible

Finally lets you come to one of his band practices and everyone is like

"Wow you're significant other is so cool, Luke!"

And he just gets antsy and is like yeah I know now leave them alone before I get jealous hehehe

Such a jealous boyfriend and sometimes you have to remind him how much you love him and he can get really insecure but he finds that comfort in you

Practically thinks you are gold and literally nothing in this world could compare to you

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩

Alrighty y'all that is it for now, but I hope you likeeee

[shipcestuous-two]

Aaaaaa I am so embarrassed about this one ship—not because it’s pseudo-incest, but because the movie it’s from isn’t very good lmao 😭 Anyway, the movie Spectre has James Bond and Ernst Stavro Blofeld as foster brothers (an odd change which pissed a lot of people off, but uhhh it works for me). Ever since I got into the Bond films I’ve been like “hot” ajfnsfvojfdn BECAUSE Blofeld is so goddamn obsessed with Bond, and he kinda tries to act as if he isn’t, despite the fact that his whole motivation for the last like forty years has been to mess with his brother. …I think that is the cutest thing in the whole world! Like boy oh boy, if that ain’t siblings for ya. Plus, ‘guy whose life is being ruined’ X ‘guy who is ruining his life’ is kinda my thing, but the pseudo-incest is absolutely the coup de grace.

…It also doesn’t hurt that they’re both really hot, lol.

It seems to me that this is probably a popular ship, for all the reasons you gave. Blofeld was certainly obsessed with Bond in a way that makes you wonder.