#Currently rewatching Game of Thrones helps a bit

[rey-jake-therapist]

Hey do you also watch tv shows very late until it kills your brain off because there's no other way for you to sleep, of are you healthy?

[wolgerrswraith]

Writerly Questionaire

Tagged by @winglesswriter for this writer questionnaire. I'll do my best to answer them!

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

Probably around 9 or 10. Terrible little stories I did in stapled together pages that have been lost to time. I tried to write "seriously" in my late teens. A lot of that is also lost, but what got kept shows some promise.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, not really. I'm big into YA/fantasy these days, so a lot of what I write falls into the fantasy or YA genre as well. Not everything, but a lot of it.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

I consider Holly Black, Madeleine Roux, and Stephen King my biggest inspirations, but I don't try to copy them. I wouldn't compare my work to them, either, but I'd like to think a little Holly Black gets into my writing sometimes.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Nothing too special, unfortunately. Just my usual desk with my pc. I need to dust it, probably.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

It happens at random sometimes. I'll have an idea, and the story comes into being from it. My novella was inspired by a DVD cover, for example. (Not the film itself, though, just the art.) Other times an idea sticks in my mind from a book or film, and I work it into something original. An entire story I wrote once was based off a single moment in Crimson Peak, for example.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Absolutely not.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Broken homes, unflattering parental figures, and found families keep cropping up. I'd say it's surprising, but at this point I just accept it as the way my writing goes.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

I like all my characters, but my favorite is always my elf guy, Lestrain. I need to actually put him into stories more often, but I default to him in games if I need to make an avatar, and currently the most chaotic Sims playthrough to ever exist stars him.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Wolgerr (who is sometimes human), and Jonah (usually human). They're both down to earth, modern types who don't judge a lot and try to get along with people.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Scarlett, mostly because I made her the biggest bitch to ever live (for story reasons!). She'd pick too many fights for me to ever like her.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Honestly? Accidents. Almost all of them. A prime example is Lestrain, which came from a rewatch of Interview With the Vampire. Lestat somehow morphed into a disgraced prince, who then morphed into a man who loved too freely and got banished off the throne for it. The elf bit was for fun. And the amazing hair.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

A lot of bisexuals. And sassy assholes. Wouldn't know why that keeps happening!

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

Cliche as it is, all my main characters have actor "face claims" to help me visualize. I'm at the point I see the claims when writing my characters, so I guess it worked.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Mental health. Life is hard, sometimes I need to write about pretty elf people fucking up the patriarchy.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I don't get as many comments as I'd like (it's too hard for someone to post feedback apparently) but I'm always glad to see my stories are interesting, and even funny (when they're supposed to be).

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I'd like to think people read my work and think "Wow! This guy is super nuts and this plot is ridiculous! I must finish it!"

But seriously, I'd just like someone to think the story is good enough to finish reading.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think my dialogue comes across well. Banter, jokes, gentle jabs between friends. (Not pillow talk, though... don't ask!)

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Dialogue and weirdness. Combining elements that don't feel like they'd work but somehow do, with people who can banter with the best of them.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

That it's awful, and everything I write is trash can worthy. Because  intrusive thoughts are real, and hard to ignore.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Probably. Someone would have to.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I attempt to put a little thought into what other people might want to read, but I'm also writing a novella with samurai teaming with elves to fight dragons because I like those things. And because no one can stop me.

Tagging @aintgonnatakethis @fortunatetragedy

[wolfbrideinhiding]

Get to Know Me

Tag 9 people you’d like to know more about!

Thank you for the tag, my dearest @padfootagain 🤍

Last song I listened to: It must be Building Steam by Abney Park. I’m not lying when I say it’s my anthem hahah.

Currently Reading: I just started Adrienne Young’s Fable yesterday! I’ve been wanting to read it for ages but I have some sort of reader’s block with prose, I’ve only been able to focus on One Piece. Back to my ”I’m casually reading manga and watching anime” era after like 10+ years (watch me lying about that ’casually’).

Currently Watching: Lots of things! I recently started Game of Thrones again. I watched four seasons back in the day but now I’m going to finish it. Today I started a rewatch of Tidelands as well. And if I didn’t need another Australian drama, I’m watching A Place to Call Home with my mom. We’re watching it for the second time now while waiting for our other shared fave, Outlander, and my, I still love it to bits! Then I’m also watching One Piece with my big brother from another mother; I read a few mangas and then we have a marathon to catch up in the anime. If you didn’t catch it by now, I’m very bad at watching one thing at a time. It’s nowhere near organized!

Current Obsession: I’d want to say I’ve been pretty casual recently, but… That’d be a thick lie. I had a long time when I had no hyperfixation in sight and to be fair, it was a bit rough. I’m used to having at least one obsession at a time. My current one is definitely One Piece. But I have found new comfort characters and another home to escape to when I’m feeling down. It has helped me a lot. And this is gonna sound so cheesy but my cats. I have one that recently had his birthday, my baby turned one. And the other one is just 9 months old. These boys are the best thing in my life and I love them lots.

Feel free to do this if it looks fun! I’m tagging from the top of my mind @fuckyeahhangman @pohjanneito @goose-bradshaw 🤍

[queenaeducan]

tagged by @skyeventide!

Last song: I’ve listened to songs on shuffle but ngl I don’t really remember which and I cannot be bothered to go get my phone and see which last Spotify song I put on. HOWEVER, I do remember the other day talking about Zelda music and going onto Youtube to seek out the Deku Palace theme b/c it’s one of my fave Zelda tracks.

Last show you watched: I watched episode 8 of HoTD on my last day off. After episode five I was kinda sad b/c I was enjoying the first half of the season so much more than this one, but this episode was good. The dynamics between the characters were at their best here. The time skips are so strange b/c on the one hand I wish we saw more of the stuff that was skipped over, but it is the first time I’ve been interesting in reading (and writing) Westeros fanfic and due in large part to those jumps.

Last movie: Joly and I rewatched the LotR series on New Year’s Eve. They continue to be special films that I appreciate every time I experience them.

Currently reading: I’m about half-way through rereading Game of Thrones. Been in a bit of a writing slump for a variety of reasons and revisiting the world and story has helped me at least think about writing. I love how GoT can be quite concise in its telling and one thing I’ve really been struggling with when it comes to long fic is not deliberating over moments too long. Also even tho I know how it ends I always read it hoping Ned will get out of dodge. It could still happen.

Current obsession: I’m kind of ping-ponging between ASoIaF and Legend of Zeldla. I’ve sort of run out of ASoIaF content to watch or read until I’ve finished HoTD so I’ve been watching a playlist of Zelda theories on my work breaks.

tagging @rosella-writes, @ziskandra, @dreadfutures, @bluewren, @oxygenforthewicked, @delicatefade

[ellesliterarycorner]

Writing Your Second Draft

The infamous second draft. Allegedly it’s supposed to be slightly easier to get through than it’s little brother the terrible first draft. I normally don’t feel very good about any of my WIPs until at least the third draft, and honesty, in some aspects writing the second draft can be more difficult than first drafts. At least for me, first drafts are harder to write, but second drafts feel like they have all of these expectations on them. Making it even harder, there’s so much advice out there about writing first drafts, but not nearly as much, imo, out there about writing second drafts. So, here are a few tips that helped me writing the second drafts of my novels. 

Did You Take A Nice Long Break? 

I think we’ve all heard of the advice that you need to take a nice long break after you finish your first draft. Some people say a week or two is enough, but I finished the first draft of my current wip in September of 2020 and I started the second draft in December/January. Taking that long of a break worked really well for me. I didn’t write anything related to that wip during that time, but I did write other things sparingly. I focused mostly on reading, and I rewatched both of the tv shows that inspired my wip (Game of Thrones and the Tudors) to remind me why I wanted to write the story so much in the first place. Oftentimes, your first draft will be a hot mess. It’s good to take a nice long break and remember why you started to write it before you come back to it with fresh eyes and a rested mind. Taking longer breaks will also allow you to see things from a different angle. I had a birthday in that time period, and I think growing up a little definitely allowed me to become a better writer. 

What Was Past Elle Thinking?

No, seriously, what was she thinking? I ask myself this question almost daily, and not just with things relating to writing, unfortunately. Reading through first drafts can be a little bit of a humbling experience, and by a little bit, I mean a lot a bit. First drafts are like chaotic little toddlers, and a second draft is supposed to turn them into like a semi-coherent five year old, not completely perfect, but way more understandable. I think a lot of people get discouraged during the second draft process because it often requires a lot of changes from the first draft. First drafts just get your ideas down. They create some semblance of a  beginning, middle, and end. From the first draft to the second draft, I cut whole chapters, deleted characters, and almost 10,000 words which I was really upset about, but it’s also completely normal. Going through the whole thing the first time can be a little overwhelming. Take a little bit more of a break if you feel yourself getting too overwhelmed. But, don’t be afraid to make the big changes and improvements that your story may need. That’s what second drafts are for.

Confusing Continuity Errors

It’s the way I have a semi-major plot point revolving around a character being allergic to almonds, and she’s literally eating almonds the first we meet her. I also have described a character’s eye color at least seven different ways in three chapters. Those type of continuity errors are extremely common in first drafts, and unfortunately, in some published books as well. Whole editors have the job to go through books about to be published in order to make sure there aren’t any glaring continuity errors. Before I even start changing anything in my first draft, I simply read through it with another blank Google doc on spilt screen. I write down anything that I personally find confusing, things that are just plain wrong, or contradicting facts or details that could lead to plot holes or continuity errors. That gives me a little bit of a gameplan before I start changing things, and it’s something relatively easy to start with. 

Hills Not Mountains

Going off of that: make a gameplan. Another reason I find people get discouraged is that they jump into their second draft without a clear goal in mind. Unfortunately, just making it better than your first draft isn’t a clear goal. It’s vague, and you’re bound to get frustrated that way. Breaking up your second draft edits into smaller hills instead of an 100k mountain, makes everything that much more feasible. For example, I knew that all of my fight scenes were extremely bad because as we’ve established, I’m not good at writing fight scenes. Starting out with all of those scenes gave me something clear to work on. After that I worked on making sure the plot and the climax went together because they absolutely did not. Setting smaller goals to address each element of my first draft definitely helped me divide and conquer all of the important parts of my story, so that they could come together in a cohesive way. Once all these elements have been solidified individually, you can piece them together in a way that makes your second draft feel more manageable.

Get Some Eyes On It

As terrifying and nerve-wracking as it can be, sometimes you just have to get some outside eyes on your work. Some people like to leave this to later drafts because I know my first drafts make it seem as though I can’t write, but I like to do it between all of my drafts. Especially between the first draft and the second draft because up until that point I have been the only person reading my work. Sometimes that can make us a little blind to certain issues in our writing. I have always been a character over plot reader, and I am most definitely a character over plot writer. I have a really hard time deleting character that need to go, and having someone else point out what I already know is true forced me to face the truth. I send my best friend almost all of my first drafts, and she sends me back a list of all the things she liked, she didn’t like, and things that confused her. I know my story, so sometimes I don’t see everything that’s confusing. Having outside eyes from someone who doesn’t know my story as well as I do, always helps immensely. 

Elle’s Bonus Tip: Retype It

Retyping your story is incredibly helpful, imo. It takes forever, but to me it’s always been worth it. I take my first draft and open up a blank Google doc in spilt screen, then I go and retype every single word. Okay, not every single word, if I know I really like a scene, I’ll copy paste it. But, I go and retype almost every single word. It forces me to get back to the basics of my story, and it forces me to notice every little thing. I would almost consider it akin to reading an essay or something aloud before you submit it. It forces you to kind of see the story naked for lack of a better word, and seeing your story this way forces you to look at elements you normally wouldn’t see even with close editing. It’s definitely not for everyone because it takes forever, and it’s a massive undertaking, but I definitely would recommend it if you can!

[elle9095]

So yesterday The Boyz’ Checkmate performance on Road to Kingdom completely blew my mind and it's been all I can think about for like 15 hours so I figured writing basically a dissertation explaining what I saw in their performances is going to help me make sense of life again.

The narrative that I got from the performances tells a story about the power struggles of monarchy, both literally and metaphorically, when you consider the industry. It’s also the concept of the show, giving these bands a chance to play in the same league as the so called kpop royalty.

It like the Boyz were on a show called Road to Kingdom and decided to make it literal.

First performance: Hwarang/ Sword of Victory

I think no one could've imagined what was to come when they made this performance. It was meant as an intro to the group so it was short and impressive and I’d say that it sort of set the style of their performance but not yet the general concept that has developed over the show.

Also I just learned that hwarangs were entertainers before they became a legion of warriors and later an institution, so they're basically old-timey boy groups turned soldiers.

How quaint when you consider the later performances.

Second performance: Danger

This is where it all started I guess. They went with the thieving concept of the song, decided to take inspiration from their first performance and bam now they’re stealing crowns and climbing walls.

Third performance: Reveal (Catching Fire)

So obviously referencing the Hunger Games which is a survival game but essentially a story of revolution.

Fourth performance: Heroine

This one's a bit different since it's a collab but yeah the whole performance is basically a person's journey to center stage, which is usually occupied by the winners/royalties.

Fifth performance: Quasi una fantasia

This one didn't look like it was going to fit the narrative with it being so ethereal and so hopeful, what with the branch slowly blooming, like a good thing coming to fruition, but this is the euphoria after you've made it and they sort of tell you in the title that yes this is basically a fantasy.

Final performance: Checkmate

This one is fucking insane okay? They start off with a deja vu: Yonghoon's with the hypnotizing watch again and you notice the blooming tree in the background but there's something uncanny and the watch stops, you get flashbacks of Juyeon taking down the king, wearing his crown, Q stealing the crown, stealthily sliding and passing it on to Sunwoo who seems like he's finally going to ascend to the throne and next thing you know he's falling and waking from a bad dream…

At this point I was already cursing and gasping and having a heart attack and they haven't even started singing. And it's like everything they've done so far was just a dream, the game is on let's start all over again.

And isn't it exactly like that? Because a game of thrones (though not explicitly referenced) is exactly just that: a game. You come to power but how long is that going to last? Sunwoo’s (literal) fall from power lasted a breath. You win first place on a music chart this week, you start all over again next week. And The Boyz would know that, having spent the the first weeks on top, but it only took a single performance in one episode for them to drop to third place.

And the chess concept is PERFECT. Chess is a game of war and strategy and the big picture and that's all they've been doing on this show: they've stolen, tricked, rebelled, and dreamed before they finally checkmate. All these performances make up one big picture and I don't know if they've planned this from the start but it’s fucking genius.

The Boyz are so good at coming with a concept and sticking with it, they make a song called checkmate and whoa they have a chess concept now, they have black and white costumes, dancers dressed as pawns, chess board effect and choreo, chess piece props… Which all seemed like obvious artistic choices but there's always MORE.

Like can we talk about that fucking table? I was like 'where did they find a three-way chess table omg it's gorgeous' and then someone's dancing on it and you see the glass tube thingy under the table and MOTHERFUCKER ITS A FUCKING CHESS HOURGLASS

Also for someone to be able to dance on it they flipped the table upside down and it's either like turning back time (rewind sound effect at the beginning) or starting all over again, but also I was like 'huh the tables have turned' and then 'OH FUCK OFF'

And it's all in the details in the performances, the small things that they reference, the same imagery that comes back again and again, every time I rewatch a performance I notice something I didn't before.

There’s the flower, something that's fragile and fleetingly beautiful, also the 'hwa' in hwarang. The moon, which is always changing, like an illusion, the full moon referenced in Reveal, which originally had a werewolf-y concept.

The fire, the sword, all associated with war and power. Even the tricks and optical illusions. The chess, the crown, the king. Everything came together so perfectly in that final performance and wrap up so nicely like HOW IS THAT SHIT EVEN REAL

I love how they have all the names of the song in the title cards (Thieves, Reveal, Paradise, Checkmate) and I’ve been thinking about the lyrics 'the show must go on' and 'the game starts again' and how Sisyphean it all is.

And it's almost like in the end they understand how futile the pursuit of power is but is still pushed by their drive to thrive for better, and in the end they realize being king isn't winning the game. Chess isn't about being king, you don't have to be king to win the game.

Their final card says 'As long as the moon shines, the king of all games is the Boyz'. They don't say 'we're the king' they say 'we're the king of all games'. It’s like 'yeah we're good at this and we're ready to go at it again' be it the hunger games, a game of thrones, or a game of chess.

DAMN THESE PHILOSOPHICAL REBELLIOUS BOYZ

These performances are inspiring and stimulating on so many levels, I mean yeah, the concept is mind-blowing, and of course the performances are just (literally) breathtaking but we haven't even talked about the technicalities.

Yes, I know these performances are great but more importantly I love how self-aware they are. They really seized the opportunity to do the kind of performance that they couldn't be possibly allowed to do anywhere else.

You can hardly do these things for a live audience, since so much rely on the camera work. You can't do this on music shows or music awards where people only care about the more famous groups.

And while these performances were created with the camera in mind, they still make the watching experience so incredibly live by making the performances so risky, upping the stakes to insane levels, and I don't just mean having to catch flying weapons or falling members, but like having a crazy domino choreography where one member's misplaced limb could ruin the whole shot, or using cool props and tricks that could so easily go wrong.

Like the branch that Juyeon was so upset about? The whole trick relied on everyone doing the right thing with the right prop at the right time right place TWICE all the while making it look effortless and seamless.

Can you imagine what kind of crazy you have to be to come up with that?

I personally think that mistake was a perfect imperfection when you look at the whole picture: something not quite right in this otherwise perfect dream that proved to be a mere fantasy, too good to be true.  

Watching the Boyz on Road to Kingdom was pure delight, and for people like me who get off on the thrill of live experience, performances like these are SUCH A TURN ON. And as a writer I'm just a sucker for conceptual plots, unexpected twists and experimenting with structures.

I’m currently torn by a mix of feelings: excitement for Kingdom, anxiety about the safety of the performers, dread of the inevitable end of the show. It kills me a little to think that we'll probably not see this kind of performances as much. That they don't get to perform like this again: go all out and not just tell a story but a fucking epic that will make Bertolt Brecht cry.

I hope they get their own comeback specials or that the company does like OK Go and makes all these crazy fun performance music videos. At this point I don't even know how to organize my thoughts to express my love for the creative team behind the productions, like someone there's got imagination to spare and I want to pick their brains so bad.

I didn’t know anything about this group before my sister showed me their Danger performance clip, and I’m 98% sure I’d never have discovered this group have they not gone on RTK but holy fuck am I glad that this happened because this is probably one of the best things that came out in 2020, making this disaster of a year almost bearable.  

So yeah, that's what I thought about the Boyz performances. Thank you for coming to my ted talk or whatevs

Also I have a second theory that the whole season is just Sunwoo getting over his fear of heights through exposure therapy.

[theartofimaginaryfriends]

Chapter 7 - Movie Night

Fic series: The Final Straw (HP/PJO Crossover Fic)

Premise: Weekly movie night is kicked off with a classic: Mean Girls.

Masterlist

Taglist: @ilvermornymascot, @lukecastellandeservedbetter, @eva-blog-p

word count: 1,343

A/N: We're back to posting at weird hours of the night! It's currently nearly 2AM and that's on having to rewatch Mean Girls for this and ALSO doing that at a weird hour. My staying up throuh the night thing is going to bite me in the ass on Tuesday where I'll likely sleep through the whole day and then deal with around 50 happy birthday facebook messages from family I never talk to. Which, by the way, I'm 20??? On Tuesday??? What??? On that note, I hope y'all enjoy the chapter XD

By Friday evening, the fighting had subsided enough that Nova wasn't meditating every five minutes, and she didn't feel as tired by the end of History of Magic. For once, she didn't feel the need to nap while the Professor droned on about the Salem Witch Trials. Besides, the amusement she got watching her Ilvermorny peers' jaws drop as Hermione raised her hand after every question was enough entertainment to keep the class interesting. She wasn't surprised to see her friend had done research on North American history.  

The only thing on her mind at the moment was the movie night. Instead of the usual downtime spent in the Pukwudgie common room, she was in The Great Hall organizing the space and setting up the seating areas. "Are you sure this is going to work?" 

"Lucas, for the millionth time this week, yes," Nova answered her friend, exasperated.  

"If we can do this on a laptop, we can easily utilize the projector," Cree added, looking up from the muggle technology. "And no I'm still not going to tell you how we managed to get this here."  

Lucas rolled his eyes and proceeded to help with the set up by moving the tables to the sides of the room. The three students fell silent as they did their tasks, and listened to the music playing on Cree's laptop through the aux cord. "This is looking great!" 

"Thanks, Professor!" Nova smiled at the Headmaster as he admired their handy work.  

"Have you picked out the movie, yet?" 

"Mean Girls," Cree held up the DVD. "It's a classic." 

"Ah, yes," Tahamente chuckled and made his way to the podium. "I hear students reference that film often." 

Soon after the set-up was fully finished, the student body began to pile in. Percy, Harry, Ron, and Hermione joined Nova in the section she claimed. "Should we be concerned about monsters?" 

"Annabeth didn't tell you?" Nova questioned. She explained how technology actually worked within both the wizard and demigod worlds. Her friends all looked at her like she was insane, especially Hermione who was insistent on arguing.  

"But in Hogwarts: A History, it's stated that it goes haywire around magic!" She went off on a tangent about the experiments that wizards have done to test the theory.  

"How often does this happen?" Percy leaned over and whispered to Harry and Ron.  

"All the time," Ron answered. "It's hard to get her to stop."  

"Almost impossible, really," Harry added.  

Hermione ignored her friends and continued on the rant as students continued finding spots with their friends. Once everyone was settled, the Headmaster addressed the school. "As you may have seen on the bulletin boards in your common rooms, tonight will be a bit different than usual."

"A bit?" Nova heard from a student nearby.  

"To help us all get used to each other's company, our Head Boy and Girl organized a no-Maj movie night," he explained. "In a moment, pizza and snacks will appear on the tables and everyone will be free to grab their dinner." 

The student began to whisper amongst themselves, most sounding excited. Nova glanced over at Draco, who had a bewildered look on his face. "What the hell is a movie?" 

"It's like the magical portraits, except there's a plot," Nova explained.  

"What?" 

"Draco, don't worry about it," Harry said, quickly. "You'll find out soon enough."  

"Until then, I have an announcement to make." Nova's attention was brought away from Harry and Draco, and back to the Headmaster as he continued his speech. "Professor McGonagall, Professor Chiron, and I have decided to host a championship." 

"If this is anything like-" Harry whispered to himself.  

"It will be modelled after the legendary Triwizard Tournament," Tahamente hushed the crowd again as the students continued talking amongst each other. Harry and Nova shared looks of disdain. "We have decided to name it The Chimera Games. The rules are simple: twenty teams of two, and it must consist of one wizard and one demigod. There will be no age restriction for the competitors." 

"Is that safe?" Hermione seemed worried.  

"No, but neither is the life of a demigod," Annabeth said. "A tournament is nothing to us." 

"To enter, you will write your name onto a slip of paper, and drop it into the Fountain of Fate." The murmurs started up again, much to the headmaster's dismay. "When it is time for the choosing ceremony, the fountain will reveal two names for each team. The fountain will be in the Entrance Hall tomorrow morning, and everyone will be free to enter until dinner on Sunday. Once the teams have been chosen, I will give out further information. For now, please enjoy tonight's festivities."  

Nova attempted to mask her worry, not wanting to talk about what had happened in fourth year. Harry shifted so he sat next to her. "Did you know about this?" 

"I had no idea," Nova shook her head. "Do you also have a bad feeling about this?" 

"I have a feeling that if I don't willingly enter my own name, someone will do it for me," he scowled.  

"I'm sorry, Harry." 

"You have nothing to apologize for." Harry gave his friend a small smile and squeezed her shoulder. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, now is not a good time." 

"Okay," Nova agreed and smiled back. As worried as she was about the prospect of a tournament, Harry was right. The movie nights were meant to be fun. Dwelling on the news wouldn't benefit anyone.  

"Are you okay, Nova?" Cree asked, taking a seat next to her.  

"Yeah," she nodded, taking a plate he held out to her. "Just zoned out."

"You better not do that during the movie," he joked. "I'm not about to quote it on my own." 

"I would never do that to you," Nova feigned offence. The movie began playing when everyone was settled back in their seats. The two tried to be as quiet as possible as they talked through it, failing at their favourite scenes.   

The Head Girl was mostly entertained by Malfoy watching the movie, and Harry quietly explaining to him that shouting at it would do no good since they don't respond. "That makes no sense." 

"A movie is pre-recorded," Harry couldn't contain his grin, clearly enjoying Draco be clueless for once. "Which means the characters on screen are played by actors, and they can't hear or talk to you." 

"But, how?"  

"We might want to save the full explanation for later, boys," Nova teased.  

"Says the one saying almost every line," Harry shot back, good-naturedly.  

"That's different!" Cree and Nova chorused.  

"Do the two of you ever shut up?" One of Lou Ellen's friends, Macie, glared at them.  

"No, they don't," Lou Ellen answered her friend and winked at her sister.  

Over the course of the movie, the group teased Draco as he kept yelling at the screen and expected a response. Cree and Nova noticed other students quoting the movie as well, making the experience more fun. Movie Night seemed to work in bringing everyone together. Even the wizards that had just been introduced to a movie were enjoying themselves.  

"All I'm saying is Cady giving out the crown is unrealistic!" Malfoy ranted as they walked to the campfire. "I mean, you can't just break it in half, that's not how royalty works!" 

"How would you know?" 

"Do you really think that breaking a crown into pieces and handing it to others is going to make them royalty?" He continued. "No! Because that wasn't accurate."  

"Why do I have a feeling he's got his own throne at home?" Percy whispered to Nova.  

"That wouldn't surprise me." Nova laughed.  

When they arrived at the fire, Nova noticed the whole school was there. It was quite the change from the small groups they've had all week. The flames glowed a bright gold as the Apollo cabin led the activity. The witch enjoyed the moment while it lasted, knowing very well that the fighting would start again the next morning.

[theastrophilearchitect]

March TBR/W.

Every book, audiobook, tv show and movie I want to consume in March 2021.

-Hence ‘TBR/W’ - to-be-read/watched.

I’m not usually a fan of pre-planning my media for the month - I plan out all my media obsessively, but doing it by month seems a little too much like setting deadlines for my taste, and I’m sure I’ll somehow manage to turn watching tv into a chore. Regardless, it’s worth a shot, so this is going to be a rough guide - I’m going to pick four of each category, one per week, because I’d rather underestimate and surpass than overestimate and have to defer things to the next month. So let’s go.

Books

1. Skyward and 2. Starsight by Brandon Sanderson

Skyward is set in a future where the human race is on the verge of extinction, trapped on a planet constantly attacked by alien warriors. Spensa, a teenage girl stuck on the planet, wants to be a pilot, but it seems far-off. Then, she finds the wreckage of a ship that appears to have a soul, and she must figure out how to repair it, and persuade it to help her navigate flight school.

In truth, I mainly want to read this because of how highly it’s been praised by Hailey in Bookland on YouTube. I actually tried reading Sanderson’s Mistborn series a couple years ago, and just didn’t click with it. I love fantasy, but I can pretty confidently say epic fantasy just isn’t for me. However, Sanderson’s work is adored by many, and Skyward and its sequel Starsight appeal so much more to me, and I can’t wait to get to them.

3. House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas

This is Maas’s first technically-adult book; Throne of Glass is young adult, ACOTAR being classed either as young or new adult. I’ve been a fan of Maas for a long time, and, though I enjoy her books less now than I have in the past due to how seriously they tend to take themselves, I’d still love to read this one. Where her previous series were both fantasies, this sits somewhere between that and a sci-fi, but I can’t say as-of-yet what I think, because I haven’t read it yet.

Bryce Quinlan finds herself investigating her friends’ deaths in an attempt to avenge them after they were taken from her by a demon. Hunt Athalar is a Fallen angel, enslaved by Archangels, forced to assassinate their enemies, when he’s offered a deal to assist Bryce in exchange for his freedom.

4. Scythe by Neal Shusterman

I listened to this as an audiobook in 2019 as part of BookTuber Book Roast’s Magical Readathon, and didn’t hugely get along with it in truth. The audiobook was excellent as an audiobook, but the story Ian’s I just didn’t really vibe. I think I just want to like this book, so I think it’s worth a reread to see if my opinion changes.

This follows Citra and Rowan, a reluctant pair of apprentice Scythes - in a utopian future where humanity has the means to live forever, it is the job of the Scythes to control the population by essentially reaping the souls of those they choose to die. Neither Citra or Rowan want it, but I don’t remember enough about this book to say any more.

Audiobooks

1. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

This is the last book in the Hunger Games trilogy, and you either already know what this series is about, or you’ve been living under a rock for the last thirteen years. I read this book for the first time nearly seven years ago, and it’s stuck with me. It sent me into a phase of only reading dystopian books (The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken was part of this, and was the series that really got me into reading), but this was the main one that stuck with me. 

It contains a powerful message about capitalism and discrimination, and this is the second time I’ve listened to the audiobooks, though the god-only-knows-what time I’ve read the series. I listened to The Hunger Games and Catching Fire in February, which automatically puts this on my to-listen for March.

2. Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Kelly Link and Robin Wasserman

This is a novella bind-up set in the Shadowhunters world, that I would imagine has quite a bit to do with the Shadow Market, an aspect of the Downworld introduced in The Dark Artifices, which I finished in January.

In truth, I’m mainly planning to listen to this audiobook because it’s the only Shadowhunters novella bind-up with an audiobook, and I’d just rather read additions to the main Shadowhunters series in this format rather than physically.

3. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

This is a Hunger Games prequel that was released early last year, and I just wasn’t going to read it. I heard several reviews, the general consensus of which was basically that it’s not as good as the trilogy and is somewhat unnecessary, but, in truth, my curiosity’s got the better of me, especially since I started listening to the trilogy’s audiobooks again.

This prequel follows Coriolanus Snow as a mentor in the Games before he became President of Panem and the wonderful villain of the original trilogy.

4. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

I mentioned this in my physical TBR post a couple weeks ago, but have decided to listen to the audiobook instead. A few weeks ago, I’d started to run out of audiobooks I wanted to listen to, and didn’t want to read anything on my regular TBR in this format, including this book. But, I went through a load of audiobook recommendations, and this was one of them, so it joined my to-listen.

I’m not hugely into contemporary books, but I’ve wanted to get more into the genre for a while, and this was the first one to join my TBR.

This novel follows Eliza Mirk, your typical high school outcast, who publishes a hugely popular web comic under the pseudonym LadyConstellation. Then Wallace Warland, the biggest fanfic writer of her comic transfers to her school and begins to draw her out of her shell.

TV Shows

Before I go into my list, I’d like to mention that I am currently watching WandaVision and am definitely planning to watch Falcon and the Winter Soldier on Disney+, but both come out on a weekly basis, so aren’t being included on this list. Also, I’ve been watching way too much YouTube recently, so I’m not sure I’ll get through all of these this month, especially since I’m watching the Arrowverse shows, which have such long seasons.

1. Love, Victor Season 1

This Love, Simon spin-off follows a character named Victor at Creekwood (I think that’s the name?) High School. I saw Love, Simon twice in cinemas when it was released, and, miraculously, it made me cry. I love that movie.

This series was released last year on Hulu, which is only available in the US, but as of February 23rd, it’s one of the shows that came to Disney+ as part of Star.

2. The Flash Season 1

As mentioned, I’ve started watching the DC Arrowverse shows. I watch tv shows through alternating seasons - as in, I watch season 1 of show A, then season 1 of show B, then 2 of A, etc., then when I finish one, I start watching show C - but I’m treating the Arrowverse as one show (even though it isn’t) so it’s not the only thing I’m watching. So this is technically Arrowverse S3, preceded by Arrow S1+2 (though I haven’t actually started S2 as of writing this because of how much YouTube I’ve been watching, so I’ll be finishing that first).

I genuinely don’t know that much about most DC superheroes, Flash included, but I’m going into this having been assured it takes itself less goddamn seriously than Arrow. It’s my sister’s favourite Arrowverse show, and I can’t wait.

3. Dare Me Season 1

I added this Netflix show to my watchlist when it came out, and my basic understanding is that it focuses on the cheerleaders at a high school, and begins when a new coach arrives. It focuses on the psychological damage behind competitive cheerleading, and I’m not convinced I’m going to love it, but I think it’s worth a shot.

4. Arrow Season 3

I’m so confused by this poster. This is specifically the season 3 poster, and I’m so confused, but I’m sure it’ll make more sense when I watch the season.

I explained the weird way I’m watching Arrowverse (named as such because Arrow was the first show in it) already, but Arrow follows Oliver Queen, the son of one of the billionaires of Starling City upon his return after being stuck for five years on an island when a cruise ship carrying him and his father sunk. His father left him with a list of names of the people ‘corrupting’ the city, and Oliver takes it upon himself to assume a vigilante identity and take them down.

Movies

I’m not a huge movie-watcher, but I end up compiling so many to watch that, to ensure I get round to them, I watch a movie every time I finish a tv show season. I’m also currently re-watching the MCU movies in chronological order.

1. Instant Family

This is just something that came onto Netflix recently and I thought might be entertaining, and so it joined my list.

This follows a couple who decide to adopt a teenager, only to find out she has two more siblings.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 

This is just a continuation of my MCU re-watch - I love this movie. I love Guardians of the Galaxy, full stop (on another note, I just generally don’t understand why British people call it a full stop and Americans call it a period. Neither name makes particular sense). 

3. Avengers: Age of Ultron

And here we have another continuation of my MCU rewatch. I honestly think this is my favourite Avengers movie, because the whole teams actually together, and Wanda, Scarlet Witch, is introduced - I love her. I really didn’t like Vision until WandaVision came out, though.

4. Behind The Try: A Try Guys Documentary

Not technically a movie, but still. (Are documentaries movies? I tend to think of them as separate categories, but I guess they’re both movies. Hm.) I’ve been watching the Try Guys for years, which means I need to convince my sister to give me her Google password so I don’t have to pay for this.

I’m probably not going to stick to this list, and even if I do, I’m either going to also consume things not on it, or just not finish it. But, you’ll have to wait for my March wrap-up to find out.

[she-who-the-river-could-not-hold]

Happy first BFSN of 2020! And the year of the last season!!! I’m feeling a bit nostalgic about all of it tbh, I’ve rarely ever watched a show to it’s finale while it’s live (we don’t talk about Game of Thrones lol) so this feels really cool. I still remember randomly stumbling upon The 100 on Netflix a couple of years ago while trying to find something to watch while I wrapped Christmas presents. I immediately fell in love with all of the characters and the story. And now here we are!

I can’t wait to create more content this year! With the season EVENTUALLY coming (where is our trailer???) I suppose I should work on my canon-spec Bellarke fic asap asdfkls. I’ve also been so blown away by the response to my arranged marriage/royalty AU, “Traces of You,” so far!!! I’m currently restructuring the next chapters so we’ll see where it ends up soon. I’m also still plugging away with my rewatch gif set series – I’m aiming to be done by the new season! 

I’ll have some more fic recs soon! I’ve been training for my first half-marathon (it’s this weekend AH) so I’ve been a bit scattered. I’m also editing my gif tutorial for my 1k celebration as well! 2020 is off to a busy, productive start which is exactly what I was hoping for!

The world is in a rough spot right now so remember to love yourself and to be kind to others while we navigate all of this. Do what you can to help others and to protect your circle. Love y’all 🖤

Tag list let me know if you don’t want to be tagged during the hiatus and feel free to tag me if you want to be added!):

@eyessharpweaponshot | @captainwilldameron | @captainwilldameron | @the-most-beautiful-broom | @pawprinterfanfic | @johnmurphysass | @talistheintrovert | @raven-reyes-of-sunshine | @carrieeve | @tabatharich | @ravensluna | @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky | @is-a-bele | @thelittlefanpire | @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza | @famousflowermagazine | @charmanderdiyoza | @nightbleeder | @thelittlestneverland | @lameblake | @choose-wonkru | @braveprincess | @bellarkes-hope | @yourereallyhere | @aspeckof-stardust | @avaluxrose | @queenofwhateverwewant | @canijustbellarke | @bugs-valdez | @viviansternwood | @deliciouswordvomit | @icantloseyou-too | @shaeheda | 

[pixelgrotto]

A penny for my Witchery thoughts

The Witcher Netflix series was released at the tail end of last month, giving Geralt of Rivia the interesting distinction of a literary character who’s now a well-known TV protagonist but just happened to achieve international fame through video games first. (Aye, there was a Polish film and show in 2001 and 2002 which called Geralt a “Hexer” instead of a “Witcher,” but they’re not exactly good, though perhaps worth a peek on YouTube for chuckles.) 

Geralt’s adventures - both in the stories written by Andrzej Sapkowski and the games developed by CD Projekt Red - are close to my heart. I’ve spilled a fair amount of digital ink writing about the franchise, and my playthrough of the games and subsequent devouring of the books from 2014 to 2016 reignited my appreciation for fantasy and served as the impetus that got me reading more genre fiction and eventually delving into tabletop RPGs in 2017, leading to my current obsession with Dungeons & Dragons. I’m naturally protective of material that means a lot to me, so when the Netflix series was announced I viewed it with only subdued optimism. After all, with the possible exception of a certain HBO thing based on George R.R. Martin’s books (which now seems to be viewed worse in retrospect after the final season), fantasy doesn’t have a great track record on the small screen. I also wasn’t especially impressed when Henry Cavill was cast as Geralt, since I primarily know him from the recent Superman movies, which paint the guy in such a dour light and force him to constantly grimace like someone who’s just taken a dump only to discover that there’s no toilet paper in sight. 

But now the show’s out in the wild, and after scanning some mixed reactions (not to mention one truly baffling “review” by two Entertainment Weekly twats who only watched the first episode) I cautiously consumed it with my girlfriend over Christmas break...and can happily report that it’s good. But, it’s also a show that expects its viewers to skip through some mental hoops as we bear witness to three intersecting story lines, all of which are taking place in different eras. Then you’ve got your standard variety of fantasy names, terms and themes, several of which might be tricky to grasp if you’ve never read the books or played the games. For instance, I don’t think they ever bothered to fully explain the “Conjunction of the Spheres” (the time when planets aligned and monsters and humans came to the world, uprooting the indigenous elves and dwarves) or the “Law of Surprise” (when a person’s fate is intertwined with something unexpected - usually an unborn child). I can also see how the show’s numerous mentions of the word “destiny” could seem like wacky dialogue to viewers unaware of the fact that Sapkowski’s realm really does have a strong undercurrent of inescapable fate running through its veins. 

Unique structure and terminology aside, the first episode was more of a slow burn than I’d imagined. It starts with an awesome sequence of Geralt fighting a Kikimora, but then transitions into a fairly serious interpretation of “Lesser Evil” from the first short story collection, The Last Wish. The episode then cuts into the exodus of Ciri from the kingdom of Cintra, an event mostly described in flashback in the second short story anthology, Sword of Destiny. The scenes of death and destruction as Ciri flees her burning kingdom are fairly meandering, as are the interspersed interactions between Geralt and Renfri, a woman with seven loyal followers who was supposed to be a grittier version of Snow White in the books. There are some great fights near the end, but as I watched, I couldn’t help but think that I probably would’ve made the opener speedier and a bit pulpier, especially since the tone of these early Witcher tales was more “tongue in cheek fairy tale deconstruction” than plodding epic fantasy. 

The second episode also took its time, though the decision to detail the plight of Yennefer the sorceress before she uses magic to change her hunchback form into something that she sees as more conventionally attractive is a good one, since this was once again only flashback material in the novels. But the cream of the hour was certainly Jaskier the bard, who’s going by his moniker in the books rather than the “Dandelion” translation that the games used. He’s played by actor Joey Batey with a perfect blend of magnificent bastard bravado, surpassing his portrayal in the games with a larger than life theme song that’s now something of a cult phenomenon, and his characterization made me feel like the show knew what it was doing at the end of the day.

Episode three is where things truly came together for me, since we barrel straight into the Geralt versus Striga battle from Andrzej Sapkowski’s first Witcher short story. It’s a full-on horror interpretation (which I liked but my girl found too spooky), and also full-on fan service for someone like me who still watches the intro cinematic to The Witcher 1 on occasion. And in later episodes, as my head began getting used to the nuances of the three character timeline, the show seemed to find its footing with this delicate blend of fan service, pulp and seriousness. By the time episode 8 rolled around and the character arcs of Geralt, Ciri and Yennefer came full circle with the Battle of Sodden Hill - yet another event that Sapkowski mostly wrote in flashback - I found myself wishing that season two would arrive sooner than 2021, and my girlfriend felt similarly. I also realized why the showrunners decided on the unorthodox timeline - this is a series that’ll probably excel on rewatches, particularly if you already have an idea of what to look out for. 

Series producer Lauren S. Hissrich (who’s quite a joy to follow on Twitter) has mentioned in interviews that this is a show that expects a tad of patience and effort from viewers, but will give a lot in exchange. I’m inclined to agree, and while this depiction of Sapkowski’s lore has some initial roughness around the edges, it ultimately reminds me of how The Witcher 1 was janky even upon its 2007 release but exhibited a unique magic to anyone who stuck with it for more than a handful of hours. Many professional reviewers tend to avoid giving fantasy shows patience and effort (Game of Thrones is an anomaly), which may explain some of the negative reviews. But The Witcher seems to have found a strong-as-nails following from audiences, who made it one of Netflix’s top efforts of 2019, and even friggin’ Anne Rice liked it. (Geralt of Rivia now possesses the other interesting distinction of being a literary character/TV protagonist/video game hero who’s been mentioned in the same breath as Lestat the vampire.) 

Speaking of Geralt, I owe Henry Cavill applause. I didn’t think much of his casting, but he pulled through in the end, delivering a silver-haired hero that’s clearly influenced by the games - particularly in the voice and the occasional spell slinging - but still very much his own take, with nary a “where’s the toilet paper” grimace in sight. Audiences can now take their pick between an iconic video game interpretation of the White Wolf and a likely-soon-to-be-iconic TV version, which is a rare choice to have in fandom, especially for a franchise that was once little known outside of Poland. Toss a coin to your Witcher, indeed.

[jaimetheexplorer]

I thought I was the Warrior, and Game of Thrones was ASOIAF, but it was just the Stranger

Latest post in the “koops works through the stages of Jaime-Lannister-character-assassination-induced grief” series. I’m sorry I keep spamming the blog with these, but it’s helping me put my thoughts in order and move on, and maybe they can be useful to others too. 

This is where I’m at right now. Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow or next week and see it differently, but... here it goes. 

Long analysis ahead!

I know some people right now are a bit/very upset at Nikolaj for seemingly supporting D&D’s assassination of Jaime’s arc, after he advocated against twincest and pushed in favour of adapting Jaime’s book arc and his relationship with Brienne for many years. To see him describe the ending as a perfect conclusion to Jaime’s arc, seems very jarring. And I was equally thrown off and confused for a while.

But I think what I have come to realize from rewatching his interviews (especially the ones where Gwen is sitting next to him - because she knows him, and knows how he truly felt about it; her reactions to his answers say a lot about that) is that Nikolaj has simply made peace with/resigned himself to D&D’s (incoherent, depressing and uninspiring) idea of Jaime. The version he doesn’t like, the version he would not have written himself, the version he complained about for years, but the version they might have had in their head all along: the one that served their twincest fanfic best. 

I was a show-first fan, but I was always aware that the show had issues with adapting the books (as per GRRM’s own admission of “traumatic” creative differences where D&D pushed for changes more than for adaptation) and that many books fans hated it for that. But I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt because I thought they would eventually veer towards the direction the books had taken, and all that seeding and build up would find its payoff and provide closure (even if not as satisfyingly as the books). The S6 finale remains one of my favorite episodes ever. Like Nikolaj, I expected S7 to start with Cersei having to face the consequences of that act and Jaime and Cersei’s rift finally being adapted. Like Nikolaj, I was shocked when the leaks came out showing that, instead, Jaime would stick with Cersei and get her pregnant again. Like Nikolaj, I tried to rationalize that storyline because, in the end, we knew Jaime did leave Cersei “without looking back”.  It seemed like S7 might be just more of the usual adaptation problem the show always had but, FINALLY we would get Jaime’s identity arc adapted in the end. Like Nikolaj, I went into S8 full of hopes, which were all met beyond even my wildest expectations, in the first 3 and 1/2 episodes. And then... the shocking, cruel and nihilistic rug-pull in the second half of episode 4 blindsided me completely. This season felt like a sadistic lover who builds their partner up towards climax, lulling them into a euphoric sense of security and vulnerability, only to suddenly knife them in the stomach repeatedly at the end and tossing them out in the street, naked, to bleed to death.

Now, is Jaime’s ending satisfying, especially after so many years? No. Is Jaime’s ending earned and not tacked together in a rush? No. Is Jaime’s ending one that feels true to his character in the books? Definitely not. Does it feel like a lot of foreshadowing and seeding was all for nothing in the end? Absolutely. 

But I see where Nikolaj is coming from, once I think about all those adaptation choices that were the total opposite of the books, and that I did not give much weight to because surely they will converge to his book material eventually, and surely ALL this seeding isn’t for nothing, and surely they won’t have characters end up where they started after so much work, and surely they would never do something so horrible to Brienne and her arc. Boy, was I wrong. 

6x08 contained the highly questionable adaptation of the dialogue between Edmure and Jaime at the siege of Riverrun. The show decided to make Jaime’s entire speech to Edmure be about Cersei, when, in the original version, the Riverrun siege is very much a matter of honour for Jaime. Jaime wants to avoid, in any way possible, to raise arms against the Starks and the Tullys because he swore an oath to Catelyn Stark that he never would. We thought show!Jaime was using his reputation to manipulate Edmure and bluffing, because that’s what he does in the books (”don’t make me say the words”). We thought he was bluffing, because Brienne was in that castle and they wrote in an entire scene to basically show us Jaime did not want to fight her (I guess they “kind of forgot” about that - the first symptoms of memory loss). Turns out, it truly was all about Cersei for them so that they could use it to justify Jaime’s self-destruction in the end.

Go back just two episodes (6x06) and you have another huge change to the backstory of Jaime’s mission in the Riverlands. In the books, Jaime argues with Cersei against going to the Riverlands because, again, he does not want to fight against the Starks and the Tullys given the oath to Cat. In the books, the Walk of Atonement happens *after* Jaime has already left for the Riverlands, and, as of the books, she’s currently awaiting her trial. That is when Cersei sends the infamous letter begging him to come fight for her (or die for/with her), which Jaime burns, leaving her to her fate, “effectively estranging” them. That is when Cersei is in clear denial about Jaime abandoning her in her time of need to disappear with Brienne instead. In the show, it’s the complete opposite: Jaime is begging Cersei to let him stay and fight for her because she needs him, while she tries to send him away. And in 8x04, Jaime abandons Brienne to go back to Cersei in her time of need. 

The show has taken every single thing Jaime does for honour and/or Brienne in AFFC/ADWD and made it about Cersei.

The entire Dorne storyline, a show-only horror, was about romanticizing incest, the tragedy of it all, and how misunderstood JC were in Westerosi culture, from Ellaria’s comments to Myrcella’s lines as she dies in Jaime’s arms about, essentially, happily accepting being a product of incest. 

The White Sword Tower scene at the end of S4, which in the books shows that Jaime, in order to maintain the sacredness of the place, rejects Cersei’s attempts to manipulate him with sex in order to get him to help her with her plans, is turned into yet another example of romanticizing incest in the show, with Cersei “choosing” Jaime and them desecrating the honour of the WST by having sex. Later, Jaime never finds out about Lancel and the show omits all the other instances of infidelity on Cersei’s part, thus removing yet another element that could cause a rift between the twins.

And these are just the major, glaring changes/omissions, without adding changes/omissions like Cersei’s revulsion towards Jaime’s stump, her physical and psychological abuse of him with slaps and throwing wine cups at him and insulting his courage and intelligence, her abuse of Tommen, and so on. It all boils down to either reducing the rifts between the twins to a minimum, or making even Jaime’s honourable deeds to be about Cersei.

But I kept the believing, despite all these unfaithful adaptations, that SURELY they would eventually default to the books’ arc, also because they put an awful lot of effort in JB foreshadowing in every season for it not to pay off big time. 

Well, turns out I was misguided. 

We know for certain that the conclusion to the war against the WWs will not be the same in the books: the books has no Night King (and IIRC, they never will) and far more complex lore surrounding the Others and the WWs. Arya dealing that final blow is something D&D deliberately chose to do three years ago because Jon “was too obvious”, and they retrofitted Melisandre’s line to be about the NK when it clearly was not intended that way. So, if they were willing to alter the lore and the foreshadowing of such a huge plot point, which millions of viewers, no matter whose characters they favoured, had been waiting on for decades, and for a storyline that underpins at least half of the backbone of the books, it was probably naive to think that they would concern themselves with being true to book!Jaime’s identity arc and his love life, a relatively inconsequential story by comparison.

And so I can see what Nikolaj is saying when he talks about the way “D&D *chose* to adapt the story after the books” (look at Nik’s words very carefully in interviews, and how he always talks about D&D’s adaptation choices, and never about GRRM’s ending). D&D made Cersei into a far bigger character than the books ever intended her to be (GRRM didn’t even know if he wanted to give her a POV, because he didn’t think it’d add much to the story) and chose to reduce Jaime to Cersei’s accessory. D&D seem to have never truly moved on from S1 (or maybe even pilot) Jaime, while GRRM wanted to explore identity and redemption with him without making a judgement. D&D deliberately changed crucial Jaime plot points to make them all about Cersei, rather than honour. The over-emphasis on “the things I do for love” is a show-only obsession, when that’s just a very small part of who Jaime is in the books. We all thought/hoped this could still work out to adapt Jaime in the show, because the emphasis would be on the fact that the object of that “love” would change and Jaime would redirect “the things he does” towards a healthier, purer, good kind of love (i.e. Brienne) that inspires him to be honourable. And, maybe, in part, they did. But D&D probably never had any serious intentions to let Jaime break away from Cersei for good and so this ending “makes sense” for them. And I think Nikolaj has come to reluctantly accept this.

That of course doesn’t change the fact that the writing in the last 1.5 episodes was the most horrible, nihilistic, cruel, unnecessary and unearned (especially in the last 1.5 episodes). It doesn’t change the fact that, if D&D don’t seem to see Jaime as anything more than an addict, they don’t even register Brienne and her feelings on their radar. It doesn’t change the fact that they spent so much time and money building up an expectation that Jaime and Brienne were heading somewhere meaningful, only for it to amount to an assassination of their dynamic in the space of half an hour. It doesn’t remove the suspicion that there might have even been a change of plans (possibly out of spite, possibly for shock value, possibly at the last minute) to switch to a failed redemption, rather than a successful one. But I think it does explain where Nikolaj is coming from and I think, perhaps, it’s the healthiest course of action at this point, because there’s nothing we can do to change it (and the fact that so many casual viewers feel just as disappointed is comforting too).

In a sense, for Jaime fans (and Brienne fans, and JB fans by extension), Game of Thrones has been our abusive partner. The TV series is Cersei and we are Jaime. We spent years of our lives hanging on, trying to find positives amongst a lot of negatives, because it kept dangling in front of us the seeding of a Jaime and a JB dynamic that we recognized from the books and seemed to be building up for the future. I think that’s our biggest disappointment, in the end. Jaime in the show was never meant to be as deep and complex as Jaime is in the books. But we hoped he would have a similar trajectory in the end, to give us closure at least. And he didn’t. 

These last episodes were our “I thought I was the Warrior, and she was the Maid, but it turns out she was just the Stranger” moment. 

And I think this is our time to put it in the fire. 

[annakie]

Notes on a Blog Cleanup (& some other stuff) Part 4

Made it all the way back to  to page 1000. 

Started with 3021 pages.  Currently have 2954 pages, adding in posting 10 - 13 times a day for the last month... deleted somewhere around 87 pages of posts (or around 1300 total).  I’m in April 2015.  So it took two and a half years to do 50% of my posting here and nearly another year and a half to get that down to 2/3rds. It’ll just speed up from here.

Anyway, here’s a bunch of words about tumblr, fandom, and Doctor Who.

I’ve found myself deleting more news articles lately.  There’s almost no cringe-y stuff left. If I go back and do this again it’ll be even more deleting current events stuff unlessI connected to it somehow.

A LOT of the content creation I ever did happened in this time.  I did so much giffing for Who’s Line, a lot of video game stuff, especially Mass Effect, cause you know, it’s me, and a lot of edits and such.  Some way better quality than others.  I was also getting thousands of notifications a day from the few things I did that were really popular back then (still sometimes get notes on that Whose Line/Elmo/Game of Thrones gifset to this day).   

I know I’m not like, the best at gifs and edits, but hey, I think some of it is like, pretty good?  There’s a few things I’m a little sad about that just never took off, but I bet all people who try and post OC on Tumblr feel that way about some of their stuff.  A few things I made did surprisingly well, though.

I still will make the odd gif/photoset there that’s more than just “here’s some nice screenshots I took slightly edited” but honestly, I feel like these days it’s so hard to get many notes on tumblr at all?  Like there’s just so fewer people making stuff, and even less reblogging gifsets/photosets?  Idk, maybe it’s something more specific to my overall followers and who you all follow?  But I made a joking post a couple of days ago about my dash feeling weird because not everything is specifically tailored to me after scrolling through my blog, but on the OTHER hand, I also feel like, overall Tumblr has become just yet another place to post memes and text posts and has the big problem of the Reddit/Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram (+TickTock) circle where each place is like 50% screenshots/reposts of content the others?  This obviously isn’t a criticism of any actual people, but just... what tumblr has become the last year or two?  Is it just me?  Like you can find some gifsets and such with a couple thousand notes here and there but... just not as much is being produced now?  Does that make sense?

Like a month or two ago I spent a couple of hours specifically looking for good general fandom blogs specific to several fandoms I’m in and... it’s hard to even find those blogs anymore.  Like, “fuckyeah” type blogs that are someone’s sideblog about a specific topic.  And hey, believe me, I’ve created and abandoned several of these kinds of blogs on my time here (and at least one I’d keep up with but.. it just doesn’t have any content being generated for it so it’s just... sparse) so I get it.  Maybe I’m just not looking in the right places, I don’t know.  

I keep wondering how much longer I’m going to keep doing this little project, and then every 10 or pages I come across a post I didn’t tag properly that’s now been found, or something I just really wanna get off my blog and I’m like “Welp, when I stop finding these, I’ll stop looking.  So maybe in like, 2018. :p  LIterally finding posts I forgot I ever made in the first place and like has made it worth it.

Notes on TAH Fandom

This was also the phase of being heavily heavily like SO heavily into The Thrilling Adventure Hour.  And I have a lot of thoughts on that, too.

Literally, one of the best decisions of my life, tbh.  Not every moment of being like a SuperFan of this thing was sunshine and roses, but most of them really were.  Honestly, I made such good friends.  I had some extraordinary experiences, doing things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done, for sure.  I traveled to Seattle, Chicago, New York twice, and LA three times, hanging out with new friends, and getting to know the cast of a thing I loved so much, and also somehow getting to be known by them as well.  There were things that happened that I didn’t blog about here because I never wanted to come off as braggy, or just to keep a confidence.  There were a few not-as-great things that happened during that time, but basically, 2014 through mid-November 2015 will likely go down as one of the best time periods of my life, for a lot of reasons, but a good chunk of that was the experiences I had through TAH.

Hoo boy though, I blogged about it a LOT.  Like, it felt like almost as much as early blog was about Doctor Who.  I was, uh, real enthusiastic and am now kinda regretful about some of those early fandom tags.  Also turns out some of the TAH people looked at my blog more than I knew, I think, so a little yikes there thinking back on it now.  But also I was kind and helpful a lot, so all of that was good.

This is a good recap post of all of the awesome stuff.  And even that glosses over a lot of the really cool stuff, or skirts around some of it, just to try and stay brief about it.

One of the big things I learned from that experience was that being a very involved person in a fandom is such a double-edged sword.  For one thing, it honestly became somewhat of a second job for me, which I 100% put upon myself.  But running FYTAH (with Shannon!) and admining/writing a large percentage of the TAH Wiki (with Ange!), working in the booths at conventions (with Jena + Shannon/Kitty/Jamie/Dani) and being available to help in a variety of other ways was A Lot.  Which again, I took on willingly.  And Ange warned me about it several times but I was like “No I want to do this.”  So then it also kind of turned into like a customer service job even outside of working at the cons.  After awhile you gotta smile and be nice allllll the time. I ended up taking a lot of things offline to a small subset of friends.  And most of that came from other fans, not from the show itself (except like, feeling like I couldn’t show my true disappointment when the show was ending, or feeling like I couldn’t air any criticisms I had about the show except in very private conversations.)  

At one point I was having an email conversation with a couple of those friends and realized that, for the first time in my life, I was like a “popular kid”, which was weird.  And I tried my damnedest to be as welcoming and inclusive and not to let anyone feel left out.  But also there’s a point where like, you can only take on so much, and you can only be actual friends with so many people?   You can be kind and welcoming and enthusiastic and all, but you only have so much time and energy to give away.  There were so many messages I never answered still sitting in my / the FYTAH inbox or in email and some on twitter because I just didn’t have the bandwidth to give away sometimes.  It was a weird lesson to learn because I knew it so well in general in my personal life, but had never had to apply it... in this way before?  Does that sound weird?  Or braggy?  I feel like I’m walking on land mines with this one.

For a more specific example of what I mean, in March, 2015 ten of us rented a house and lived in it for a long weekend for the TAH 10th anniversary show + a fun getaway vacation. Everyone invited was someone I knew or were close with someone else in the group.  A few more people had been invited but couldn’t afford it, so word got around a little bit.  And it was AMAZING.  But I later heard that there were a few people, most of whom I didn’t really know, were hurt that they weren’t invited.  Jena and I spent dozens of hours and put a lot of financial risk into being the custodians of the trip for even the ten of us, and it was a huge undertaking.  It was never meant to be a thing for the entire fandom, just a group of people who were already friends.  But there was still a small kerfluffle from a few people about it.  Which, I TOTALLY get feeling bad about being left out but... it was always supposed to be a relatively small thing, never any kind of “Official Fandom Get Together”.  And we definitely didn’t have the time/money/ability to host an “open call for anyone to come” type thing.  Just coordinating 10 people (and about 25 - 30 overall getting together to hang out at designated times over the weekend) was... more than enough.

At one point sometime later people started suggesting that we organize and hold an actual TAH-Con and I... let that one pass me by without really talking about it.  It was definitely too much, and even then I knew it.  And I mean, the shadow of Dashcon was still hanging over all fandoms heavily in those days.  I wasn’t about to become the next Dashcon.  It never got past a few emails being passed around.

So yeah, to be honest, if I could go back and do those years again, I absolutely would, it was like 95% awesomeness.  But I think in regards to some of the fandom-specific things, I’d be a little less of a doormat, and I’d be a little more careful about spreading myself too thin.

So now that the show is “back”, I am enjoying listening to it, and I’ll reblog some things or post big news on FYTAH, but I’ve been lazy about even helping out with the wiki (I keep meaning to get back to it, Ange is still doing great) because... although I’m still a HUGE fan, I also am gonna be more laid back about it now.  

I also haven’t REALLY loved a thing in the same way since TAH.  The closest there has been is Critical Role, and I’ve been real careful to stay out of any actual fandom stuff there.  I really love the thing, but I’m gonna keep with my group of 5 or 6 other fans I already know (all from other fandoms) who love the thing too, and stay out of wider discussions.  With some of the stuff happening there lately, it was a good decision.  

Wow, that was a lot of words.  Sorry. 

Hey one last thing to catch up on.

Doctor Who Rewatch 2019!

I’m now already at 6x01, into the Silence episodes.

So I did finally rewatch the Desert Bus episode that I hated so much before and like... this time... it was fine?  Cheesy and all, but not so bad that I should have hated it as much as I did?  Also noticed the Doctor doing the classic “gonna hit on this girl really hard in the beginning then drop her so quick at the end” thing to the companion of the week.  Ah, Ten.  The most bi-polar of all Doctors.  I’m gonna be honest, I decided to skip on through Waters of Mars because I realized I was just ready to be done with Ten at that point.  I’ll probably go back to it at some point but I wasn’t ready for another Ten Temper Tantrum, maybe the worst one of all, in that episode.

So I finished Ten (and oh man that whole two-parter to end Ten with... like the whole Master plotline is such a stinker.  The first half, in particular, is so bad, the only really good scene is the one in the cafe with Wilf.  The rest of it... wow.  Wasn’t that whole thing written like the week before filming and never really edited or something? IDK.)  The last half hour or so is really good though, with Ten’s sacrifice (after a tantrum) and then all the companion goodbyes (except Joan Redfern’s granddaughter, bleh).  

But yay, on to Eleven and Amy and Rory and more River!

Season Five is... wow it starts off strong and really stalls there in the middle for a bit.  Picks back up a bit with Rory returning, then somehow has two great episodes without Rory and ends strong, though the first pretty nonsensical Moffat-era “this doesn’t make sense but it looks and sounds so good you don’t care, right?” season arc and ending.  Season six, I’m already remembering, is way, way worse for that.  But anyway.  Rory remains my second favorite companion ever.  And episodes with Amy, Rory and River continue to be my favorites.  Also? Matt Smith is so good.

But even early on in season six I’m remembering how really dumb the overarching plotline is... Moffat is great at “Oh man this will be cool so I’m gonna throw it in there! (and it really is some very cool stuff!) and hope it all makes sense later!  Or just don’t think about it too hard!”

Honestly though, despite all the quibbles, most of the episodes work on an individual level if you don’t think about the the overall arc Moffat is trying to do.  Even those that are a bit sloggy, like the Cold Blood/Hungry Earth two-parter, have enough great moments to justify watching them.  (Ambrose is still maybe one of the worst “regular people” characters to ever be on this show, though.)  There’s still no “Fear Her”.  And that’s pretty good.

Also?  The blog itself is now about as Doctor Who oriented as it is in the last year.  Like... oh the season is airing?  There’s a lot more good stuff to reblog, I’ll reblog good stuff.  Season not airing, a scattered post here and there.  It’s a much better place to be.

After Amy and Rory leave, that was about the end of my true like “Doctor Who Obsession” phase.  On my Blog we’re in the break between Amy and Rory leaving and Clara showing up. I never really clicked with Clara, I think like a lot of people.  Like I really liked the season with Danny, but after that season I never really rewatched episodes, so I’m looking forward to getting there and experiencing some stuff again for the second time.  

[magicalrocketships]

i'm having a tough time of it at the moment, but I like when you like things! Can you tell me ten things that make you happy?

I TOO AM HAVING A TOUGH TIME OF IT, ANON, but let us band together in a love of Things and move through it together. 

In no particular order:

1. Brian Kinney - I’m doing a rewatch of Queer as Folk at the moment and I always loved Brian SO MUCH and I was scared I wouldn’t this time around because a) I’m older and b) the world has changed since they made it and there are FLAWS, but it turns out I still love him such a lot, because a) he knows what he wants and he goes out and gets it (which I admire but don’t do) and b) he refuses to acknowledge any kind of emotional journey he’s going on (which I do do and don’t admire). And because of this scene, which I watched last night and then paused the telly and took a picture of because the prom episode is essentially written to satisfy my personal id:

2. Brienne and Jaime

I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP aka I am sunk under a pile of Brienne and Jaime fics and their fictional happy ending and their cupcake coffee shop AUs and BRIENNE’S MAGNIFICENCE AND HER HONOUR AND HER EVERYTHING and Jaime learning about how other people act who aren’t Lannisters and FALLING IN LOVE the end. 

3. Schitt’s Creek

HONESTLY there has been no better balm for my soul than watching (and rewatching... and rewatching) Schitt’s Creek and if I have your whatsapp then you can pretty much guarantee I’ve sent you nothing but Schitt’s Creek gifs for WEEKS AND WEEKS. The friendships! The coming to know yourself storylines! The falling in love! The falling in love with being a family! The gentle breaking down of emotional walls! Screaming in Bosnian! I am so happy to have forced this on people and to have witnessed their emotional meltdowns as they moved through the seasons. 

4. Midsomer Murders

A surprise entry here, but quite frankly I get obsessed with one mystery drama after another on ITV Hub, and it’s the turn of Midsomer Murders and its magnificent deaths. Recently I have rewatched Martine McCutcheon be murdered by a giant round of cheese, and the episode where John Nettles has to keep a straight face whilst pulling the starting pistol and olde fashionede ladies hit a vicar (who was tied to a horse) with ladles as they trotted around the village green, but no episode has made me happier than this one:

called - and I kid you not - Death By Persuasion, and it features both endless regency outfits, going undercover at a regency ball, DRONES, death by drones, and Samuel West carrying on a secret affair with his ex-policeman brother-in-law. I loved this episode so much I BOUGHT IT ON ITUNES. THE GAYS DO NOT DIE. All of these things are spoilers but none of you are going to go and watch this and anyway I love it too much to not share. 

5. Cross stitch

AKA the endlessly mindful task of counting and doing the same thing over again. Probably the best tool I have to keep on doing stuff when in a depressive phase, and cannot write or get myself out of the house (AKA the last couple of months). Here’s where I’m up to on the current ridiculous project (well, a bit further on now, but I’ve moved the frame so you can’t see his face, so this is better):

6. Glorious finds in charity shops

Look at these beauties! I’m not that good a knitter and I have never done any cable knitting whatsoever, but WHO CARES, these were 25p and I’m going to learn how to knit clothes just so I can look at these patterns over and over:

Unrelatedly I also found a knitting pattern for “knit your own gargoyle” recently and as I looked at the picture on the front and said ‘tag yourself, I’m the gargoyle’ out loud, I couldn’t help but buy it. 

7. Re-reading books

I read The Ruin of a Rake by Cat Sebastian again this week (do HEARTILY recommend) and Uprooted by Naomi Novik (again with the recommendation) and I’m currently midway through re-reading The Pillars of the Earth and the first Game of Thrones book too. There’s nothing better than the comfort of rereading old favourites. 

8. SPY NOVELS

At the moment I’m (minorly) OBSESSED with spy novels, and I’ve had a couple of John le Carres on the go (I can recommend A Legacy of Spies for those of you who like George Smiley novels), I’ve just finished one called Soldier Spy which is an autobiographical account of someone who went from the army into being a spy, and I’ve got a book on Donald McLean just waiting to be picked up when I’ve got a free reading slot. I also saw Red Joan at the weekend which I loved because a) Judi Dench (I LOVE HER), b) spying (I LOVE SPYING), c) Sophie Cookson, who played young Judi Dench and I fell utterly in love with, d) oh my god the CLOTHES and the HATS and the KNITWEAR, who the fuck can resist wartime spies and good KNITWEAR. 

9. Plant friends

I have kept my plants alive for WEEKS AND WEEKS. They are alive!! I am surrounded by greenery* and my life is better for it. 

*8 plants

10. Louis Tomlinson

He’s my favourite, I don’t know if you know that. Anyway, I received my picture of that bewilderingly wonderful day when I got whisked off to meet him and I only look SLIGHTLY like a potato so that’s good. I wish only good things for him and I hope he’s somewhere knowing that he is loved. 

[justsomewhump]

Whump Profile

I was tagged by @killian-whump, who knows how much I love doing those things! Thank you, dear!

Name: For personal reasons, I don’t want to disclose it publicly.

How old were you when you first realized you liked guys getting hurt?: Kinda hard question... when I was younger, I was always trying to find a way “around it” and not straight-up admit I liked “guys getting hurt”. Like, when I made up stories in my mind, I always weaved the plot so that there would be no other way for it to go than them being hurt. But that was in the “middle stage”, like when I was in elementary school, I’d be like, “And then he got hurt and started bleeding :D”

What was that very first scene you remember gave you those glorious butterfly feelings?: That’s quite possibly that Digimon episode where Yamato (Matt) is lost in a snow blizzard and finds refugee in a cave, but he’s still too cold and shivering, so his digimon, Gabumon, takes off his... fur coat, whatever that was, and covers Yamato so that he wouldn’t freeze to death. I must have been around 6-7 at the time. Yamato ended up becoming one of my all-time favourite characters, as well as probably my very first whumpee - being subjected to as much whump as a 7yo could make up XD

When and how was it that you realized “Hey, I’m not so messed up in the head!” and that there’s a definition and community for this sort of thing?: Well I have killian-whump to thank for that. I distinctly remember going through my notes of my non-whump blog one day, and seeing a “killian-whump liked your post” note, and an icon with Killian from 5x13, with blood on his face and all that. I was intrigued, and checked her blog. Kinda got shocked at first, wondering how she would even like that that much, even if she clearly said she loved the guy... but I couldn’t stop visiting her blog, even with the 80 posts or so she had at the time, so I ended up following her. I don’t remember exactly how things went, to be honest... but I started chatting with her, then I made some gifs for her blog that she posted “anonymously“... then ended up making this blog, unable to keep all my whump thoughts secret. The rest is history :P

What’s your favorite whump trope?: Oh, man. My first impulse is to say clutching their chest, partly because of broken ribs or something, partly because there’s a wound there they’re trying to keep from bleeding out. I couldn’t really choose, I think. I also love spiritual possession and sexual whump...

What’s a whump trope that you hate?: I’m gonna copy killian-whump’s answer to that, pretty much, and answer with death, along with extreme gore and eye/fingernail torture.

What’s your favorite whumped character?: I haven’t really explored the character of many whumpees, and even my original ones sound shallow now, but currently it’s Killian Jones from Once Upon a Time. Apart from the fact that I’d been loving the character to bits, he then went and got marvellously tortured, being a perfect little defiant stoic woobie... How could I not?

What’s that whumped scene(s) that you’ve watched over and over again. (We know you do it and we understand): I’m so glad there’s that little “s” over there because I’d feel so bad if I had to choose... *cracks knuckles*

- Pretty much everything with Killian in OUAT, over and over again, but I’ll put these below, where I was rewatching them before I realized what whump is and that it’s okay to like it.

- That scene in 2x11 where Gold beats the hell out of Hook, and though there’s not that much blood, for me it’s also marvellously angsty as well, so I remember watching that one a lot.

- That scene in 4x15 where Ursula wraps Hook in her tentacles and squeezes him a bit.

- I almost forgot the heart theft and heart squeezing scenes from 4x08 to 4x11 and I feel ashamed. How could I?!

- Jamie’s rape and torture scenes in Outlander 1x16 (is that the episode?)

- One specific lady whump scene in Game of Thrones 1x02. I’m on the verge of feeling bad because of how many times I’ve watched that one.

Bullet or stab wounds?: Stab wounds, cause they’re usually bigger and you need more hands than one to stop the bleeding, and the hands get all messy and bloody... yes. I am actually a bit bummed that Wish Hook got stabbed, but in his memories as Rogers, he remembers being shot. And I’m like... why you gotta change this?? Let me enjoy my preferable whump when headcanoning about him! XD

Fevers or Hypothermia?: Oh, I love the classic “sweating like crazy and trembling and being covered with a blanket and maybe being a bit delirious” thing, so yeah. One of my favourite parts in The Hunger Games is Katniss describing how Peeta behaved while burning with fever.

Emotional or physical?: Well, obviously, both, but if I had to choose, I’d choose emotional, preferably over past physical whump. I mean, there’s a reason I’ve written 11k and 9k words for two different fics respectively, focusing on the aftermath of heavy whump. If mainstream media ain’t gonna show me whumpees having PTSD, I’mma do it myself.

Injured and asks for help or tries to cover it up?: TRIES TO COVER IT UP. I have such a huge love for stoic whumpees, as I mentioned above... one scene in my first big “original” idea for a story has the whumpee injured somewhere on his upper back and leaning on a wall, while his sister is talking to him, oblivious to the fact that he’s bleeding to death because the whumpee refuses to take his jacket off... until he pushes himself off the wall and walks away, and his sister, to her horror, sees blood on the wall and asks him what the hell’s going on, and before he manages to say anything, he collapses. I just love this kind of shit so much - but my absolute fave is them ending up collapsing and being forced to ask for help, barely getting the words out because they’re in too much pain by now.

Lastly, does anyone know about this addiction of yours?: Apart from people here, technically, no. A friend once said she was writing a story which was an OC going through torture and stuff, so I guess she likes whump too without realizing it. However we never happened to talk about it since, but I guess she got that I’m also kinda into it? But you know, we haven’t actually discussed it in detail.

I’mma tag @hookaroo for this one ;)

[settiai]

some spoilery cr rambles

I posted two threads on Twitter earlier today, one here and then a follow-up here. Considering some of the comments I’ve continued to see throughout the day, though, I wanted to elaborate on those tweets a bit. And, well, Twitter isn’t the best medium for long posts.

First things first: I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to stop watching Critical Role for awhile

I've seen several people making similar comments to my own about how, for personal reasons, they're going to need to take a break from the show. And I've seen many more people making derogatory comments about people in that situation, acting like anyone who needs some time to cope with what happened isn’t really a fan and doesn’t deserve to be in the fandom. That's what prompted me to make my initial tweets and now this post.

First of all, I want to make this clear: just because I'm having my own personal issues with current events in the show doesn't in any way mean that I agree with people who are harassing the cast. That's bullshit behavior. A large part of D&D is decided by the dice, and it's rude as fuck to blame the cast for the way that the dice fell when it's clear that they're just as hurt by the turn of events.

But on a related note, it would be nice if the CR fandom in general would stop trying to support the cast by saying things like "if people stop watching because of this then they aren't real fans" or "people who are upset right now don't deserve to be in this fandom." There are plenty of us out there who need to take a break for at least a while who very much are real fans, ones who support the cast wholeheartedly and are against the hate that some of them are getting. So it's really getting exhausting seeing people saying that we're not over and over again.

Permanent character death is a hard "no" for me, especially when it's so early on in a story, and that's been the case for a long time. It doesn’t matter the medium: movie, tv show, book, rpg. It’s something that I have a lot of trouble dealing with, and when it happens? It takes time for me to do so. I know that it's not anyone's fault when it comes to Critical Role. It was mainly due to a series of bad rolls, mixed in with some questionable decisions, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it once it started down that path. And that fact will hopefully let me start watching again in the future instead of completely leaving the fandom like I've had to do for scripted shows in the past when similar things have happened. But that doesn't make it any less of a hard "no" for me.

I've seen lots of people making comments about fans who are upset about Molly’s death, asking questions like "what do they do when they watch Game of Thrones?" Here's the thing: some of us don't watch shows like GoT because we know that we can’t handle it. I purposefully don't watch shows or movies where I know people are going to die, and characters dying in a TV series often means I stop watching a show. It's just who I am. Fandom is an escape from the real world for me, and when events in said fandom start mirroring the real world too closely, then I need to step away at least for a time.

I understand that D&D has rules, and death is quite often up to a roll of the dice. Unfortunately, that aspect of the game is something that I can have issues with in some situations. There are plenty of people who don’t have any problem with it! And that’s great! But for me, personally, I can handle a permanent PC death more if there’s at least a chance of resurrection and then it fails. It’s the fact that in this case there really aren’t any options that’s making it hard.

One of the things that I love about D&D is that it's a world where magic exists and death doesn't always win like it does in the real world. So when death does win, especially in a situation like what happened last week where it came out of nowhere and took a character whose story was just starting, one who I identify with quite a bit, it throws me out of the fantasy world. It makes my brain go "oh, this is just like the real world, so everyone's going to die and the bad guys are eventually going to win because that's how the world works." And even though I realize intellectually that's not the case, it takes awhile for my brain to realize it. Hence the needing to step away for a bit.

If I try to keep watching, all it's going to do is give me anxiety and potentially send me into a depressive spiral. And I have enough of that just dealing with the real world right now. I don't need to get extra from what's supposed to be my escape from reality. Which kind of sucks, to be honest. I've said in the past that when I started watching Critical Role back in 2016, it helped pull me out of a pretty dark place, so it hurts more than I expected for that same show to be pushing me back into one. Especially with everything else that 2018's been throwing at me lately. Critical Role and my own D&D games have been my escapes, and it's painful that I'm losing one of those out of nowhere, with no real warning that it was coming.

That said, I'm really hoping that I'll get to start watching Critical Role again in the future. My tentative hope is to give it a month or two for the new character to find their feet and mesh with the group, so that I can press through with a marathon and get back to watching it. But that doesn’t change the fact that I need to take some time off to process things, as do plenty of other people who are having similar reactions, and a large number of people are acting like that’s a bad thing that we’re trying to take care of ourselves.

I've been trying to look at spoilery fanart, in the hope that it would help my brain accept the new status quo and let me keep watching, but it hasn’t helped. I’m at the point where I've tried to watch the second half of last week's episode several times, and my brain has immediately gone "nope" each time. Right now, I haven't even been able to go back and rewatch episodes from earlier this year. As soon as I do, my brain is basically going "why bother? there's no point in getting attached to any of the characters because they're all going to die in the end," which... definitely isn't a fun place to be.

I get that people want to support the cast when there are so many people sending hate in their direction. But it would be nice if you could do so without throwing fans who are upset but not reacting that way under the bus. Seeing comment after comment from people saying that I'm clearly not a real fan of Critical Role because I need to stop watching the show for awhile to take care of my own mental health... well, it hurts a lot. I'm taking a break from Critical Role because I do love it, and I don't want my bitterness over recent events to ruin it for me.

It would be nice if people could remember that just because someone is reacting to recent events differently than you doesn't mean they don't care for the show, the cast, and the fandom just as much as you. Everyone is different.

[jemmafitzsimmons]

A few thoughts on the Framework arc...

I haven’t really spoken out that much about this current arc of Agents of SHIELD, and more specifically, the FitzSimmons storyline. This is mainly bc I’ve really enjoyed it. But the level of disappointment coming from this fandom has gotten me thinking about how we perceive the show in general, which is why I wanted to explain my point of view. Hopefully, this may help others enjoy it a bit more as we move into the final two episodes of the season. 

To put this into context, I watch quite the variety of shows across different networks. AOS is my fave, but I also devotedly watch Game of Thrones, Mr. Robot, and How to Get Away with Murder (besides a shitload of others that aren’t so dark, lol), but these are the shows I’m going to be discussing alongside shield. 

For me, AOS is doing something that not many shows can get away with - telling a highly complex story across 22 episodes of television with a production value of some major movies. But AOS is not on HBO, or Netflix, or cable. It’s on network television, and that is where I let go of unrealistic expectations. Not my expectations for the quality of the story, oh no. I’m talking about the expectations of what a show of this caliber is capable of doing under those circumstances - 22 episodes on a major network. 

For shows like GOT or Mr. Robot, where the networks basically worship them (legit - I think USA Network will let Mr. Robot get away with anything at this point), the creators and writers have a lot more freedom. For Mr. Robot, creator Sam Esmail directed the entirety of season 2, and they’re even pushing back season 3 bc he wants more time to develop the show to make it better. GOT was pushed back to summer bc of the current story arc, plus the creators David and Dan have a lot of sway as far as how the story unfolds. (and although I don’t watch it, Westworld is doing similar work, and they literally stopped production for months to write the final four scripts to figure out a better story for the entire series.)

In other words, they have time - time to write intricate stories, where every detail is thought out, so fans can rewatch the episodes to catch everything they missed, where everything actually connects. 

For some shows, (like GOT and the first season of Mr. Robot) this works out in their favor. The shows are engrossing, with details that reward fans for paying close attention. And I know we wanted this from AOS in this current arc. With the scope of the FW, there was definitely an opportunity. But let me tell you - it doesn’t always work. It can actually have a negative effect on the narrative. 

For example, this is where I felt Mr. Robot ran into trouble in season two. The story got so invested in keeping the audience in the dark about this big mystery, setting up complex clues and small details left and right, that by the end with the big “reveal,” it fell flat. Yes, it was a carefully crafted narrative that relied on extremely intricate storytelling, but in the end, it ran away with the idea. The narrative also relied heavily on the audience theorizing about what was actually happening to an extent that the big reveal wasn’t so revealing at all. It turned out to be the most obvious narrative choice that fans had already figured out. 

ANYWAY (and I’m getting back to AOS, I swear) Not all shows have the luxury of planning stories to this level of detail. This reminds me of How to Get Away with Murder, another ABC show. The creator, Pete Nowalk, has stated in countless interviews about how he doesn’t choose who the big “reveal” character is - as in a person that killed someone, or a person that will die at the end of the season, etc. - until the very last minute. And he’s allowed to do that bc he has so many episodes to work on. When I learned this, I was a little disappointed, as I like to think these decisions are made from the beginning in order to create the entire narrative around this choice, but that’s obviously not the case. Yes, some creators have major end games planned for their characters and stories, but some don’t. And that’s okay. 

And I think this is where Agents of SHIELD falls. Jed and Mo have an idea of where the season will go at the beginning, but I don’t think they plan it out to a T. It’s obvious the FW arc has left many FS fans disappointed with how the arc could have gone (or how many feel, myself not included, should have gone). We wanted a FW arc with an entire backstory about FitzSimmons! A look at how SHIELD fell! And we wanted it all in five episodes. 

That’s a lot to accomplish in such a short number of episodes. But because this is a show that airs on ABC with 22 episodes in a season, they don’t have the time or luxury to set up every narrative beat perfectly. They don’t have time to write the most complex storyline and flesh out the FW as much as possible to satisfy all the fans. And they certainly don’t have the time to devote an entire arc around a single relationship (no matter how beloved that relationship is) without the rest of the show suffering. Yes, we would all love for the FW to be all about FS. But that’s not the story they’re telling. 

So, how do I still enjoy the story when my OTP is suffering, you ask? Of course, it’s not easy. I was so gutted after Fitz killed Agnes that I didn’t know how they would resolve any of this. But two things have helped me through it.

1. I’ve stopped having unrealistic expectations (bc of reasons I’ve discussed above), and 2. I’ve stopped trying to predict what will happen in the narrative. 

From my own personal experience, theories send me down a line of thinking that makes me wish for narratives on the show that will never happen, regardless of what evidence I have to back them up. And in the end, I’m always disappointed. If my theory is right, it feels good for a moment, but then I lose the element of surprise when I actually watch the show. And if my theory is wrong, I suddenly feel like the show went down the wrong path. I theorized the hell out of season 2 of Mr. Robot, and I was left disappointed. And unlike my usual tactic for watching AOS, I theorized about the FW arc in the beginning. But now, I wish I hadn’t. If I had just let the story play out without having these expectations, I would have probably enjoyed it even more. Luckily, I’ve let my theories go, and now I watch these new episodes with more excitement than ever. 

I can enjoy this arc even if it didn’t tackle the most complex version of the narrative or the FW. I’m completely fine with that. And at this point, I have no clue what’s going to happen in the next two episodes. But that’s the way I like it best.