#Crushing on a guy because his name is Aslan ?

[sealinredshoes]

I think Holly black know very well how her old fan from the Spiderwick Chronicles grew up like, AND NOW SHE IS USING THIS KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE ME OBSESSED WITH "THE DARKEST PART OF THE FOREST "!

[rosies-den]

20 things I love about Ash Lynx. 🌅❤️‍🔥🦁🎂🎉

It's the 12th of August.

Ya know what that means?

It's a big huge loving Happy Birthday to our Ash!!!!!

For his birthday, I wanted to write something, so here's a very appreciative appreciation post for my favourite character of all time.

Here's just 20 reasons I love him with all my heart and soul.

1. His birth name. Aslan Jade Callenreese. His mum (or maybe just Yoshida being Yoshida) even made up "Aslan" to mean dawn/daybreak in hebrew when it actually means lion in turkish. However I like to interperet that, similar to a lion's mane, the sun shimmers with a golden light, and that's what his old lady meant when she named him Aslan to supposedly mean dawn.

2. His hair is also golden and reminds me of a lion's mane! And it's long. I love men with long hair!

3. His inner child. Ash has always been childish at heart and his most treasured memories are his childhood with Griffin. I love that as he opens up to Eiji, he starts showing his childish side more and more too.

4. His fear of pumpkins 🤭 mf is scared of a vegetable for christ sake!!! What a goofy thing to be afraid of. Cute though.

5. His jokes. Shit like telling Eiji to go watch Sesame Street, or being given an inkblot test at the hospital, the researcher asking what the inkblot sheet looks like, and he responds "Your wife". Countless examples of this cheeky fucker's one liners!

6. Speaking of which, that attitude he has. He's brutally honest, never backs down, says it like it is, and is unfiltered. He's smart whilst cutting the bullshit.

7. He knows how to lead, he sets goals clearly and he's strong and unwavering whilst not being outright cruel.

8. His fiery energy, especially being a Leo (more lion theming hehe) he's sucha a passionate person and that's a trait I both relate to and admire.

9. He remains loyal to his friends, through thick and thin, and even tries to understand people he has a bias against (Max for example, before they became like father and son.)

10. Despite being a gang leader, he does genuinely care for human life and doesn't like people dying for no good reason. Man's got morals.

11. His perseverance. Despite the cruel world trying to tear him apart time and time again in every possible way, he carried on with his investigation and his fight because he knew it was the right thing.

12. His intelligence! The dude can write advanced essays on politics and science and he does so for actual useful research reasons, not just to be a smartass.

13. He's the kind of person who drinks milk straight out of the jug. No, seriously. Look at this:

Absolute madlad.

14. His fashion sense! I love his denim jackets, his hoodies, his ripped jeans, even that plain boring ass white shirt he loves to wear so much!

15. He agrees with me that beans are fucking gross. I don't blame him at all for being so petty about natto!

16. He's canonically bisexual. (This isn't debatable, his two canon crushes are Eiji and a girl he liked when he was 14. If you insist he's gay or straight you can get your biphobic ass outta here.) It means a lot to me as a bi person to have that sort of representation, plus it explains a lot of things, like the aforementioned hoodies and denim jackets (big same!).

17. He's the kinda guy who sits to read a good book. I'm kinda envious of his habit to read things that aren't just from a screen, but I also really want him to read to me. Storytelling podcast with Ash Lynx anyone?

18. His relationship with Eiji. They bring out the best in each other. Eiji helps Ash open up and express the emotions, good and bad, within him, whilst Ash inspires and helps out Eiji to get stronger, more independent, and more confident in himself and his abilities. Easily my favourite relationship of all time. They compliment each other perfectly and are so lucky to have each other.

19. His kindness and protectiveness towards children. He of course had a lot of respect and fondness towards Skip, and inspired Max and Jessica to become better parents to little Michael. He knows how vulnerable kids can be, and wants to protect them from violence and abuse. I love that he refuses to let these vicious cycles of parental neglect and child abuse continue.

20. His ability to love beyond all else. Love is what motivated him to save his friends and allies, take revenge for his brother and others he lost, and protect people from atrocities. Despite everything he went through Ash was, is and always will be that loving playful, childish at heart boy who cares for his loved ones beyond all comprehension. His love for Eiji and his friends expands beyond the universe.

And that folks, is just 20 reasons why I love Ash from the deepest part of my spirit. He has inspired me in so many ways that I cannot even begin to go into right now, but just know thar he is an absolutely incredible character with such an important impact.

Thank you, Aslan. I love you so so much and I hope you have an amazing day in Japan with your husband. 💕💖💞💗

[patrickxpearson]

“A crush.” Patrick repeated yet again – not to boast Aslan’s ego like a blow-up doll or anything but because it had been the actual truth. Not many people were aware that in his spare time, Patrick actually enjoyed watching cooking shows to relax rather than some other TV show, or even porn. He liked to see the magic happen before his eyes, the art of turning completely random ingredients into absolute masterpieces before his very eyes. Even as a kid he liked those shows. Even back in the day when he was still trying to build himself from the ground up and become someone that wouldn’t be bullied or picked on, he always found the magic of cooking fantastic. And it was that very same passion for watching others create works of art that he stumbled upon Aslan’s shows. At first, it was about cooking. About what others could create, about what others could make. But the more he saw, the more his focus would switch to Aslan – sometimes touching himself while Aslan’s thick voice gave some review to the dish. All Patrick could imagine was how it would sound moaning his name. Whispering it in his ear. And the devotion and interest he had when it came to cooking shows only grew tenfold – and he had Aslan to thank for that. At the mention of dancing, all Patrick could do was nod. The wine was left forgotten in the kitchen as he took his guest by the hand to the living room before he settled for a slow and intimate tune. Not only because it wouldn’t require that many movements – just swaying side to side – but it would give him the perfect opportunity to have his hands all over Aslan’s body and reduce the distance between the two of them to almost zero. “I’m not that great of a dancer, ye’ know?” Patrick was the first to admit it as he spun Aslan and pulled him towards his body, quickly wrapping one arm around the chef’s waist in order to pull him close. He wanted Aslan to feel him like he had done at the gym but only this time – have the chance to touch and explore as much as he wanted to. There was no chance anyone would walk in them, so all that obvious nerves that he had experienced earlier were now out the door. It was just them. Two grown-up men that knew exactly what they wanted and how they wanted it – with zero fucks to give to the rest of the world.

“Ye’ ‘ere in my mind all day long, darlin’…” Patrick started to move side to side, grinding his own crotch against Aslan’s as he leaned in close to gently brush their lips together. “I couldn’ stop thinkin’ ‘bout ye’ after ye’ left. Even after I cleaned the mess ye’ made.” And what a lovely mess that had been. Too bad he couldn’t taste it back then – but the night was still young. “All I wanted to do was pick ye’ up and make ye’ see stars.” As he whispered, Patrick brushed their noses together as a way to distract Aslan as his hand slipped past the waistband of the other man’s pants and underwear – rubbing his middle finger along the client’s crack. It was truly taking everything he had not to bend Aslan over the nearest surface and fuck him right there. No… he deserved better. To be properly worshiped like the man he was. “I’m still surprised how a man like ye’ had so much pent-up tension. Are ye’ not havin’ fun ‘round ‘ere or…” There was the slightest pause as Patrick shamelessly pushed his finger against Aslan’s entrance, slowly invading his guest at a rather torturous and slow pace. “Or ‘ere ye’ just waitin’ for the right guy to make ye’ lose yer’ mind?”

Even as a celebrity of a sort, Aslan couldn’t stand the ones who thought the world owed them their love and adoration. Maybe it was because of how he was raised or where he came from. Maybe it was because he was a chef rather than an actor or musician. The casual person wouldn’t really know who he was, only the people who enjoyed cooking shows or loved food like he did. His fame had come on quick when he was still quite young, and while he’d let it go to his head in some ways, he’d never let it change who he was - a timid little boy who loved to cook. Patrick seemed to sense that in him even before their meeting at the gym. It was gratifying to know he didn’t seem arrogant on television, despite being so skilled in the kitchen. He always tried to be humble, to give constructive criticism instead of tearing people down, and to compliment people when they deserved it. It cost him nothing to be humble, but apparently it gained him the favor of one very sexy personal trainer.

“A crush?” Aslan repeated, unable to stop the smile on his face. God, this really was like high school all over again. He remembered what it was like to have crushes all too well. Just the thought sent butterflies swirling through his stomach. “That is adorable.” All of a sudden, Patrick was the gorgeous popular boy that everyone wanted and Aslan was the quiet Turkish kid desperate for attention from someone like him, but too far in the closet to say as much. He wondered briefly if Patrick would have even noticed him at that age, when he was smaller, too tall for his body, and reserved. He didn’t play sports or go to the gym daily. He kept his head down, did his work, and went home to play in the kitchen. It wouldn’t be until his early 20s that he truly grew into his frame, sculpting it to perfection as his skill and knowledge grew. If Patrick had seen 16 year old Aslan Kilic, would that crush exist? And did it even really matter here, now, with his arms around him?

As Patrick turned in his arms, Aslan was well aware of the way his body rubbed fully up against his own. He looked up at him, hands moving to the other man’s waist as he wetted those perfect lips. Aslan prepared himself for a kiss only to be dodged, hot breath spilling across the skin at the crook of his neck. The chef closed his eyes, a shaky exhale leaving him as Pat spoke of all the things he’d rather do with him than sleep. His mind could conjure so many things but he was sure Patrick’s could come up with much more. Those were things Aslan wanted to discover. “Don’t worry.” Turning his head, Aslan found the kiss he’d been waiting for, softly brushing his lips against Pat’s before the other man could move away. “Stamina is one thing you need working in a kitchen. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.”

Smiling, Aslan reached around him for one of the glasses of wine, very slowly pulling out of his reach. While he tried to remain cool, his head was absolutely spinning. How badly he just wanted to stay there, to give himself entirely to the other man. In good time… Instead, he wandered back over to where the music was playing, swaying his hips as he took a drink of the wine he’d supplied. Of course, it tasted divine. “Didn’t you say something about dancing?” Aslan asked, spinning to face him again, an eyebrow raised. He wasn’t much of a dancer himself but he would gladly move to the rhythm if it meant being close to Patrick.

[trisanachandlers]

other thoughts on lioness rampant:

it is far and away THE BEST book in this quartet in terms of writing

it also strikes me as the most cinematic, in that it has the most moments that like... filled me with childlike glee at the idea of getting to see it adapted for tv? I guess we still don’t really know what exactly is getting adapted or how it will be done but god I want to see the whole coronation day battle sequence so badly! it may be because I specifically turned that part of my brain on at some point in this book like I hadn’t for the others but throughout almost all of it I had really clear mental images of everything and everyone. of course I’m tempering my expectations because even if it does get adapted everything could be so different from how I imagine it, but you know, all any of us really wants in life is the experience my mom had with the movie of the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe where in the theater we got to the sweeping shot of the tents in aslan’s camp and she gasped and went “oh my god this is EXACTLY how I always pictured it” anyway that’s what I want from literally every scene starting with the ordeal of kings and ending with alanna v roger

it’s also the best alanna and jonathan book, even more so now that I’m like an adult who can relate to/fully delight in the relationship between people who used to be in love and therefore know each other really really well and are amicable enough to use that fact to just roast each other constantly, with affection

seriously there is not a single moment in this book where they’re in the same room and it doesn’t quickly become the funniest fucking thing i’ve ever read. “jon, do i really have to say ‘awesome artifact’? oh well, guess I’m too old to put a frog in his bed”

I reblogged someone’s john mulaney quotes as sotl characters post a while back and the only one I was like “huh?” about was gary as “it’s a grid system, motherfucker!” because I had largely forgotten the details of what happened in these books until this reread since it’d been like 11-12 years, so when I got to the part where gary is like “actually the practical work of running a kingdom is really interesting! grain prices and farmers and” my brain went “IT’S A GRID SYSTEM, MOTHERFUCKER” and I fully burst out laughing on an airplane and startled my seatmates

more (gay) thoughts below

“love you. always have. always will. never know how he did it”

don’t have much else to say about that i’ve just been lying on the floor weeping softly for days

the thing is I’ve reread protector of the small at least once, some books several times, and I’ve reread trickster at least twice, and I haven’t reread all of immortals but I’ve read wild magic and emperor mage at least twice each, but I really hadn’t reread song of the lioness because I was always like “I love these books in spirit but they really weren’t as good in terms of the writing and also the problematic white savior stuff so I’d rather reread the better work she’s done later in her career & the development of this world,” and as a result I think I’d forgotten how major a character thom actually is? (had also highkey forgotten this about coram, gary, and alex because in the intervening decade my brain had simplified it down to “these books are about alanna, her cat, her three big love interests, thayet and buri in the last book, and of course roger, and also raoul is there I guess”) but the thing is I think that also happened because like alanna and george and raoul and jonathan and thayet and buri all get to keep being, like, obviously not major characters but important secondary characters, because some of them are important to kel, and sometimes to daine, and obviously to aly. but even though liam is right about it being meaningful to die for something important, alanna also has a point in that argument because a character can’t continue being important to the story if they’re dead! anyway I’m sad

I know this has been commented on before but they’re all so freakin’ young! which I did not understand when I was 12 but now jonathan is ascending the throne and he is literally my age! what the fuck!

another thing about being older is I’ve gotten over the thing I had as a kid where I never wanted to love the main characters best because I felt like I was supposed to and I didn’t want to do what I was supposed to do or something, and wow, I love alanna so deeply, she is so perfect, she is so flawed, I adore her so much. She is such a badass! She is such a good friend! She is such a good sister! She is such a good daughter (to myles, to be clear)! She is such a complicated and evolving partner who learns so much about how to be a better one over time! She and george are SO GOOD TOGETHER in the end

I know tammy kind of sidestepped saying whether she’s bisexual (or misinterpreted the question, was my impression?) and talked about her being genderqueer instead but also I get such a bi vibe from like every part with thayet. there is a compelling argument that it really is alanna, as a person attracted to men, negotiating femininity and male attraction and her feelings around it through her friendship with thayet, who is very conventionally feminine and beautiful! but also “she is so beautiful, I think I want to... be her” is such a classic confused baby sapphic thing at least among gays now that like.... also for a scene involving three people who are all ostensibly heterosexual, the part where alanna refuses to wear a dress to present the princess she rescued to the king, who is her ex-lover, who she was in a secret relationship with while presenting to everyone else as a guy, feels very, very queer to me

anyway alanna and jonathan are both bi

(my read of first adventure was also that jonathan totally had a crush on page alan well before he knew about alanna but anyway)

also I had fully forgotten about the part where she gets misgendered (basically?) in the tavern in maren and people think she’s a twink and liam’s boyfriend/a guy who is in love with him in a gay way, which then doesn’t really go further than confusion and the vague sense that being mistaken for gay = danger in this universe. but if alanna + gender gets to be more nuanced in the 21st century, as I would hope from that tammy tweet, then I would be interested to see if there’s more things like that adapted into a tv version.

I would think also SURELY alanna and jon were not THAT subtle like once ~her secret is revealed~ everyone back home seems to figure out they were lovers like by the time jonathan goes to visit the bloody hawk but like that part in maren suggests to me there is NO WAY the heterosexuals of the eastern lands are SO clueless that the court wouldn’t have noticed prince jonathan and squire alan were definitely fucking behind their backs

can katherine have little a trebond twins talking about queerness, as a treat? but anyway

since alanna is myles’ heir now and she is alanna of pirate’s swoop and olau then why isn’t thom of pirate’s swoop named thom of pirate’s swoop and olau

also george and alanna’s conversation at the end about settling down and getting married and having children after roaming together is much funnier now that I know, from having read all of the tortall wiki, that thom of pirate’s swoop is born while they are on a mission

that’s it I guess it’s a good book and I love it and I’m excited to start rereading immortals and see just what the fuck adult me thinks of THAT

[odinsmagicaleightleggedhorse]

And to add another example (although the point is question is still monarchy) take the giants of 20th century western fantasy literature: Lewis, Tolkien and, later, disagreeing with them on every point, Pullman.

Tolkien and Lewis both use monarchy (and specifically the restoration of a lapsed monarchy) as a representation of good, Lewis with the Pevensies and Caspian who serve Jesus Aslan, and Tolkien by having one of the messianic figures be the rightful king of Gondor who is destined to restore the monarchy and renew and repair the decay of the kingdom. This isn’t surprising contextually, especially for Tolkien, who was on record a a monarchist (although his position on that is more nuanced than simply saying that might imply. In both cases, the monarchy is divinely sanctioned and saves our fantasy world from a dark age.

Then 50 years later Pullman shows up and vehemently disagrees with these points, coming at the idea of fantasy from a more atheistic, democratic position. So instead of saying “Aragorn was the bad guy the whole time because he came in and tried to seize political power based on nothing but his birhtright” or “the Pevensies are deserve to face a peasant uprising” he writes the His Dark Materials trilogy, where God The Authority (or The Regent acting in The Authority’s name) is the ultimate monarch and ultimate villain, the ultimate goal of many of the protagonists (leaving aside Lord Asriel’s moral ambiguity for a second) is to overthrow it and create the Republic of Heaven. His hero does the exact opposite of what the Pevensies or Aragorn do: instead of restoring a ancient, just order, she overthrows an oppressive one imposed before the beginning of human history.

Then a little later we have George RR Martin who, as much as I don’t think he deserves to be mentioned in the same sentence as the other three, comes in with a series whose entire point is “Ok we all love Tolkien and fantasy lit, but can we try to remember that feudalism is bad and super violent?” As much as people complain about season 8, as someone who read the books and never watched the show, Dany going nuts is entirely predictable. It’s the point of her; even an enlightened despot is still a despot, and as soon as they decide to stop being enlightened you have a huge problem on your hands.

And none of that means that Aragorn was the villain all along, or that we should root for Sauron because he’s crushing monarchies. We shouldn’t read Tolkien or Lewis through the same lens as Pullman or Martin.

One thing about fandom culture is that it sort of trains you to interact with and analyze media in a very specific way. Not a BAD way, just a SPECIFIC way.

And the kind of media that attracts fandoms lends itself well (normally) to those kinds of analysis. Mainly, you're supposed to LIKE and AGREE with the main characters. Themes are built around agreeing with the protagonists and condemning the antagonists, and taking the protagonists at their word.

Which is fine if you're looking at, like, 99% of popular anime and YA fiction and Marvel movies.

But it can completely fall apart with certain kinds of media. If someone who has only ever analyzed media this way is all of a sudden handed Lolita or 1984 or Gatsby, which deal in shitty unreliable narrators; or even books like Beloved or Catcher in the Rye (VERY different books) that have narrators dealing with and reacting to challenging situations- well... that's how you get some hilariously bad literary analysis.

I dont know what my point here is, really, except...like...I find it very funny when people are like "ugh. I hate Gatsby and Catcher because all the characters are shitty" which like....isnt....the point. Lololol you arent supposed to kin Gatsby.

[gurguliare]

ooh ooh. can you dvd commentary "the wine we fought for" from "Are you a masochist, Schonkopf?" to "Schonkopf felt a fleeting moment of pity for that one other person, whose life and honor the firebombing must have saved"?

MY PLEASURE, THANKS. sorry this is super long because you picked a fresh ‘un.

“Are you a masochist, Schonkopf?” he said.

“Who, me?”

I obviously love Yang and Schonkopf’s stupid conversations in-show for a lot of reasons, but one is that Yang is a little less sure of his footing around Schonkopf than e.g. academy friends (and has reason to be!), so he puts more effort into actively turning the tables when he’s uncomfortable. He also spends less time playing dumb, I think because he finds Schonkopf’s incitement-to-revolt genuinely worrying and doesn’t want to give it any quarter—Schonkopf seems willing to take anything less than a flat denial as encouragement, so this makes some sense. Actually, Schonkopf might take encouragement from a flat denial, which is presumably why Yang always hears him out first, to make a point out of “it’s not that I don’t trust you enough to share my secret ambitions, it’s that I trust you and I DON’T HAVE SECRET AMBITIONS.” I also like that Yang’s efforts to wrongfoot him often work, at least a little, although he’s a recovery artist. But his recoveries involve digging himself deeper in/showing more of his hand, as far as personal investment is concerned. 

“Well, take this. I can’t imagine you’d enjoy seeing me paired off. It would offend your sense of justice—and rightly so. How can a man like me go courting?” With his free hand he drew a line across his neck. For the guillotine? “As for your other demands… If I seized control of the government, your life would become very boring. Subduing the populace, night raids—for a man of your talents, it’s a snore. We’d never go to war again. And yet you go on asking me to take up the mantle of power.”

I do think Yang kind of equates “Schonkopf urging dictatorship upon me” and “Schonkopf meddling in my love life.” Which is interesting, because… in some ways the show wants to set up the desire for a happy private life and the pressure to seize power (and protect himself) as opposing drives in Yang’s life, but obviously for Yang himself they both represent an unconscionable turn toward self-interest—toward self-interest and away from his obligation to, uh, all the people he’s blown up. I don’t know that Vermilion is really about Overcoming The Guilt so much as it is discovering a little humility; in targeting Reinhard and proposing to Frederica he’s slightly overriding the control freak instinct that says “you hold the ultimate power here and will fuck everything up personally.” But it’s charming to me when people are like “??? why doesn’t Yang ignore the order for the sake of the greater good,” when it’s made pretty explicit that if Yang were following his idea of a straight consequentialist agenda, he wouldn’t fight Reinhard at all…….. Well, and there’s more to it than that, because part of Yang’s brand of consequentialism is trying to force himself out of the headspace that believes perfectly informed decisions can ever be made by fumbling individuals. Still.

That said, I feel “your job would suck under the Yang Regime” is a pretty compelling argument and one Schonkopf should lend further consideration

“You’ve confused me with yourself,” Schonkopf said, after a pause. “A man so afraid of being bored, he closes his eyes to everything that might disappoint him.”

Yang blinked. But Schonkopf had warmed to his subject. “Now, me—though it might involve some personal sacrifice, I would find matters to interest me in your dictatorship. And if you were in love… ‘Yang Wen-li, laid low by passion!’ I admit, you’re not a natural. Is there any part you’re a natural for? But as we’ve discussed—you’re not a bad student.”

The most unrealistic part of this fic is the idea that this would in any way strike Yang as an odd or unprofessional thing for Schonkopf to say. But as I discovered while editing this scene, there’s actually no line weird enough that it DOES make sense as a trigger for Yang’s realization. I made the sort of boring decision while writing that… characterization-wise I am okay with Yang moving things along here, on the basis that Yang is interested in letting off some steam and has entered into that kind of self-soothing mindset he’ll increasingly show on the road to Vermilion. And I think if Yang were going to choose any time to hit on Schonkopf, or better yet blindside Schonkopf by arbitrarily declaring Schonkopf to have hit on him, it would certainly be as part of a high-level deflection away from one (1) question he doesn’t want to answer about Frederica and/or himself as a person who experiences positive desire. In this case actually it wasn’t a question, it was just Schonkopf suggesting he reach out to a grieving friend. Yang: What? No!!

Yang is also kind of the Aslan of LOGH in that whenever a person comes to him about a third party’s possible crush on him, he’s like, “no, I’m going to tell you about your crush now. no one is told any incriminating details but their own.”   

He leaned forward; and for once, Yang didn’t shrink away. Emboldened, Schonkopf wiggled his fingers in Yang’s face, invoking the spirit of a fairy godmother over a pumpkin. Yang moved his head to one side and squinted. “Are you making a pass at me?”

With the body language I did want to convey that Schonkopf has overshot his normal careful boundary-testing, partly because he’s feeling “vulnerable” about the one-sidedness of his investment—that’s part of what him ordering the autopsy under his own authority and then feeling weird about it is supposed to set up, though I don’t know if it works. 

It was natural to lower his hand. It was natural to smile pedantically, as if letting himself in on the joke.

I’m happy with this line because for me it immediately evokes OVA Schonkopf’s whole face situation. 

“I can’t say I’d thought of it. But for you, Admiral, I would make an exception…”

One question that it might be reasonable to address, now that I’ve gotten into it about all these… characterization considerations, for a very short and unimpassioned relationship upgrade scene… is why I didn’t just have Schonkopf initiate. And the answer is, because Schonkopf is a cowardly opportunist! Of sorts. I mean, he’s not Yang-level, but we see with Katerose how unwilling he is to go out of his way to do anything that might involve inconvenience for him, and I don’t think he’s so attracted to Yang he’d consider it worth the risk. Maybe. I mean, in general he’s not the sort of person who “risks” things for sex. It depends how you picture both FPA culture and the culture within the military, but I think especially in the first half of the show Schonkopf doesn’t seem confident enough about where to place Yang in any of that, even just as an “unsoldierly” person with all these performative civilian aspirations, that he’d put himself out there without some sign of interest from Yang. I think also with both Yang and Frederica he has this pre-emptive sour grapes thing of like, I don’t have a chance so I’m going to sublimate all my energy into weird interrogations of their joint ward, which Julian calls him out on in the one target practice scene, lol.

“No, really.” Schonkopf eased his weight off the desk and raised an eyebrow, a half a beat too late. Yang was practically glowing. His eyes had popped open. Disgusted, Schonkopf understood that he was ignoring any implications: he had the silly, brazen look he got when alone with an ideal puzzle. “I thought you were sour Frederica turned you down,” Yang stage-whispered, putting his hand flat on the desk in a covert slap of triumph. “I was too narrowminded. General, if you have a complaint—”

Yang is so dumb lol. None of the above commentary is meant to imply that this isn’t a genuine lightbulb moment for him, at least on a conscious level. Yang: “huh, this hot guy is constantly up in my business, I guess I can leverage his curiosity as loyalty” —> “ohhhhh he cares about me as a PERSON i can use him for SEX”

He paused. I should have timed it, Schonkopf thought, and folded his arms.

“How curious,” said Yang, leaning back. “I seem to have lost my head. I apologize if I said something in bad taste. It was a joke. Uh, a test?”

I wrote a less halfassed version of this and then had to ask myself whether Yang would put any effort whatsoever into offering someone ELSE a graceful exit.

Schonkopf shook his head. His arms stayed crossed. Yang stared up at him, and stifled a yawn. When the silence had gone on another moment, he appeared to sag. “This is difficult. Usually, the other person makes a move, and we’re interrupted by a firebombing,” he offered. “Well, I say usually. It’s only happened the once…”

“How would you know?” Schonkopf said, kissing him.

He felt Yang tense. The change was harsh. But, equally quickly, he relaxed, and even moved with the kiss. His hands settled on Schonkopf’s shoulders. Schonkopf felt a fleeting moment of pity for that one other person, whose life and honor the firebombing must have saved.

Anyway, my favorite thing about writing this scene was just that Schonkopf doesn’t know who Jessica Edwards is. Could Yang pull this line on Frederica? He could not! But Schonkopf, while a stalker, isn’t one of those weird stalkers who knows your dead friends’ names. Here, that puts him at a disadvantage.

“life and honor” — I like this bit because, although it’s just a joke, I enjoyed making Schonkopf be wrong in this fic, in general, as a dramatic irony thing but also because I like when characters are wryly, ruefully, or resignedly wrong. Like, they put some thought into this! Still wrong. And often the way in which they are wrong shows a real lack of imagination about how many different things can fail terribly—sure, getting emotionally involved with Yang is a bad idea and about to become a much worse one, but disengaging didn’t save Jessica. Yang is not the be-all and end-all of horrors awaiting anyone in LOGH universe, and it’s important that Schonkopf can’t see beyond that for even a second.

[writingmylifesstory]

Book Review: The Magicians by Lev Grossman (Spoilers)

Idk where to even begin with this book. I almost stopped reading it multiple times because the characters were so disheartening but I stuck around because the plot was so convoluted that I had to know what happened next!

 Quentin hates his life, pretty much the entire book. It begins with him dreaming of Fillory, a Narnia knock-off book series where good triumphs over evil and our heroes are never dismantled (I’m looking at you The Last Jedi) Due to a rather strange run-in with a nurse, he is swept away to Brakebills. It is a school for magic, reminiscent of the Harry Potter series. The Magicians is self-aware in that it pokes fun at Quidditch and the other popular series it borrows from. 

For a time, Quentin is happy studying and living in a magical realm, his own form of Fillory. He creates friendships with Alice, the girl he quasi- falls-in-love with, and Elliot, who everybody is interested in but he prefers guys. Quentin seems to crave Elliot’s acceptance and it borders a strange crush but it doesn’t pan out entirely. 

Then Quentin, out of the blue, accidentally conjures up a “Beast” who eats his schoolmate right in front of him. Yeah, right about there it took a sudden sharp turn into crazyville. 

One of their classes takes place in Antartica and the students turn into geese for months to get there. That was some fun writing. I thoroughly enjoyed the weirdness and beauty of that scene, Grossman. Yet the transformative magic doesn’t end there. The entire schoolyard becomes foxes and Quentin and Alice bang for the first time as foxes with everyone all around them. WHAT. It was uncomfortable to read… I mean…what. Honestly. It gets stranger. Upon graduation, they have demons put into their backs. Yep, real demons living in their backs that will attack their enemies in a life or death situation and then they are free. 

While living in New York as graduates, Elliot and Quentin are hooked on drugs and sleeping around. Quentin cheats on Alice during a threesome with Elliot and their mutual female friend (whose name I can’t remember, starts with a J I think…) Everybody is basically toxic at this point when Penny comes back and claims he can travel to the real Fillory. The books weren’t just stories. Quentin eagerly goes with his friends, hoping this is his second chance. This is when his real life will begin.

But Fillory isn’t a fairy tale. The rams that represent Aslan have been defeated. Martin Chatwin aka The Beast (aka Edmund if he had stayed in Narnia and was evil) literally eats Penny’s hands and is only killed by Alice having to sacrifice herself. The nurse from the beginning reveals herself to be Martin’s sister, Jane (Lucy and the White Witch kind of sandwiched together) Jane had a time turner and had tried every outcome possible but this was the only way to defeat Martin.

Quentin feels betrayed and depressed and swears off magic. Time passes and his friends find him in a better place and ask him to accompany them back to Fillory where they will rule as kings and queens.

If this review seemed all over the place, that’s because the book was all over the place. But I just might read the sequel…

The Magicians: A Novel

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Check it out for yourself 📖

⭐️⭐️⭐️out of 5 stars

[ngce]

Not Safe, But Good

The Men We Desperately Need Today

Article by Greg Morse

Staff writer, desiringGod.org

I can still remember being startled by the thought: Jesus doesn’t seem very nice.

Unquestionably compassionate, gracious, and patient, Jesus also said and did things that, as I read through Mark, surprised me. The kind of things that today would get him trolled on Twitter and flagged on Facebook.

It was then that I began to think that if Jesus was not “nice,” if he — the one to whom all Christian women also look (2 Corinthians 3:18), and yet, the epitome of a godly man — did not fit within my vision for manhood, then it, not he, needed to change. The more I considered him — the more I considered the long lineage of godly men in the Scriptures — the more I stood confronted: Could these fit within my current conceptions of masculinity?

What about your conception? When you consider a good Christian husband, an upstanding churchman, a godly man, what qualities come to mind?

Traits such as generous, thoughtful, agreeable? Is this man slow to impose, quick to listen, ready to sympathize? Does he speak gently and serve graciously? Does he routinely defer to others’ preferences? Something about this ideal seems unquestionably right — but if this tender side is all, it also should strike us as uncomfortably wrong.

Godly men will indeed emanate compassion, humility, service, and love. This is true. But is this the whole truth? Has the ideal of manhood in the modern church become just a gentle shadow of what God made it to be?

Not Safe, but Good

When we teach about masculinity, do qualities like strength, initiative, zeal, and courage make our list? When we assess men for church office, and when we look for small group leaders and godly mentors, do we commend men who would make good shepherds — industrious, passionate, resilient men, able to corral sheep and willing to combat wolves?

Do we celebrate male strength, courage, zeal, and initiative because we know these are required in order to guard, protect, subdue, and lead? Such men of God who are gentle exactly because they are first strong? Men like Gandalf, who, after exuding his strength of presence, could then softly say to Bilbo, “I am not trying to rob you. I am trying to help you.” A tiger, not a kitten, can exhibit gentleness because he is first strong.

Endangered is that species of lionhearted masculinity that bears Aslan’s description: “not safe, but good.” Our present ideals, like the ones I once held, do not require goodness to make men safe, because they ensure that men are safe regardless of goodness. The man reborn in this image says nothing uncomfortable, rallies no charge, and shows little, if any, initiative. He is goaded to be convictionless, passionless, perhaps even Christless, if but subdued.

But such is not the vision of he who made man. Instead of blunting his sharp edges, God has a different solution for creating good men: rebirth, looking to Christ, and training in righteousness. Godliness must balance his natural perils. He achieves mature manhood through adding the fruit of the Spirit, not subtracting his God-designed nature. Kindness, self-control, compassion flavor his strength, courage, determination — not eclipse them.

Where Have the Men Gone?

Such men — gentle and strong — present a paradox to the world. His hands build up his household, wrestle with his boys, sip tea with his daughters, and grip the hilt of his Sword against the agents of darkness (Ephesians 6:10–20). He is a godly warrior who sleeps in his armor — fierce and meek and good wherever he finds himself. The description can, by the aid of the Holy Spirit, be redeemed: “Thou wert the meekest man that ever ate in hall among ladies; and thou wert the sternest knight to thy mortal foe that ever put spear in the rest” (Le Morte D’Arthur).

We err when we divide the two: brutal on the one hand, soft on the other. While our society increasingly chooses the latter, some wonder: Where have all the men gone?

We can read, as of an alien species, about men who “through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight” (Hebrews 11:33–34). Men who actively sought for glory, honor, and immortality. Men of faith who hoped for a better country than the one they had. Men who risked much, lost much, and gained more. Men who lived by faith in the living God.

Lukewarm religion, let’s never forget, makes for lukewarm masculinity. And lukewarm masculinity allows too many men to pass by church doors in favor of Islam, Jordan Peterson, or simply ESPN on the road to destruction.

Dying Flame of Masculinity

As I surveyed the lineage of godly men, I honestly wondered how many saints of old would feel discomfort with the feminization, not only of our society, but also in some of our churches.

Would we emasculate men of old? Would we not chide Abraham for wandering, Jacob for wrestling, Joshua for fighting, Elijah for mocking, Noah for madness, Job for arrogance, Daniel for incivility, Nehemiah for violence, Nathan for high-handedness, John the Baptist for name-calling, Paul for divisiveness, and the Son of God for brandishing a whip and turning over tables in the temple?

Have we chosen the conveniences of niceness over the discomforts of godliness? I fear someday lying comfortably beneath the inscription, “Here lies a father, husband, churchgoer — just a really nice guy.”

“Nice” says nothing of spine, of edge, of valor, and thus it can say little of righteousness or purpose. Nice requires no courage, no conviction, and no willingness to make enemies with the wicked. Jesus warns against such palatability: “Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets” (Luke 6:26).

Now, we may be tempted, where we have swerved off the road, to overcorrect the error. This would lead us into the other ditch of parasitic strength. Such abominations endure in our day, in all their cruelty, abuse, and cowardice. We must not exchange “good, but not strong” for “strong, but not good.” We cannot charge forth in the flesh instead of being led by the Spirit. We must not settle with feeling like men in our own strength; we must become better men through divine power and self-sacrifice.

Men Set Ablaze

One step on the road to recovery is to reemphasize that unnerving trait of many men of old: godly jealousy. We must reclaim the pulse and convictions of a godly man, not just his actions.

Our God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). He will not share his glory, or bride, with another. And he fashions men who increasingly burn with his own righteous jealousy. These men, ablaze with zeal for the glory of God, for the health of the church, and for the souls of the lost, will, in certain circumstances, erupt to shatter the status quo. Zeal for the glory of God — not cultural civility or secular sensitivity — is the proper harness for biblical manhood. Godly jealousy makes good men dangerous — to the world, the flesh, and the devil.

Consider Moses, the meekest man on the earth (Numbers 12:3). Enraged by his people’s idolatry to break God’s tablets, he melted their golden calf, and made them drink it (Exodus 32:20). His love for his people and God’s glory acted resolutely against their idolatry.

Consider David, the poetry-writing shepherd-boy who could not simply stand by and watch an uncircumcised Philistine defy the armies of the living God — no matter how menacing he stood (1 Samuel 17:26). He could not listen quietly while his God’s name was defamed.

Consider Phinehas, an African whose name meant “the Negro.” Jealous with God’s jealousy, he turned away God’s wrath by impaling two high-handed sinners in the climax of their romance (Numbers 25:6–13).

Consider Elijah, a man tormented by the unbelief of Israel. He called a public showdown with the prophets of Baal and mocked them for hours (1 Kings 18:20–40). He longed for the people to know the true God and follow him alone.

Consider Paul, a former persecutor of the church who sat provoked as he saw the city full of idol-worship instead of Jesus-worship, and publicly lifted up his voice to challenge the great philosophers and rulers of Athens (Acts 17:16). He lived for kingdom business while many laughed at, opposed, and beat him.

All the King’s Men

Consider Jesus Christ, who grabbed whips, named names, and promised to return with weapons drawn. He is the Lion of Judah who knelt down and played with children (Mark 10:14). And the Lamb from whom men shall run, unsuccessfully begging mountains to crush them rather than face his wrath (Revelation 6:16).

He destroyed “arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God” (2 Corinthians 10:5), crushed the dragon’s skull, and yet did not break a bruised reed (Isaiah 42:3). And he went to Calvary, not because niceness led him outside the camp to die among thieves and garbage, but because he burned with a passion for his bride, his Father’s name, and his own glory (John 17:4; Romans 3:25–26; 1 Peter 3:18).

Spurgeon’s last words in the pulpit portray the proper ideal:

[Jesus] is the most magnanimous of captains. There never was his like among the choicest of princes. He is always to be found in the thickest part of the battle. When the wind blows cold he always takes the bleak side of the hill. The heaviest end of the cross lies ever on his shoulders. If he bids us carry a burden, he carries it also. If there is anything that is gracious, generous, kind, and tender, yes lavish and super abundant in love, you always find it in him. (Spurgeon: Prince of Preachers, 288)

The King’s men will be found, with Christ, in the thickest parts of the battle. They will eschew wasting their lives venturing nothing, growing warm for nothing, exercising no initiative, taking no stands, building no fortitude of faith, engaging in no spiritual battle, carrying no burdens, planting no flags on unconquered hilltops. The men of this King, for the very reason that they despise playing with foam swords against the forces of evil, create the safest culture for their women and children. Dangerous men under God, holding one another accountable, will not stand idly by as the bears maul those they should rather protect and nourish.

Meek and fierce. Tough and tender. Leaders and servants. Not safe, but good.

Men like Jesus.