#Creepers canonically feel like dry leaves

[menomodumps]

Tw: FLASHING LIGHTS

Here’s a realistic creeper too

[decadentrpg-blog]

WELCOME AJ, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF EVANDER LUPIN

Admins Note: Evander Lupin finally arriving to the scene! I love every aspect that you included about Evander, I really felt the turmoil he carries from within. From the head cannons to the sample paragraph, I got a great clear view of what he cherishes, his character and his morals. The aesthetic addition in your application was also yet another very nice touch! I’m so excited to see him on the dash among the rest of the crew! Congratulations on your acceptance again, please make sure to head your way to the checklist and submit your account within the next 24 hours!

Out of Character

Name / Alias: AJ

Pronouns: She/Her and They/Them

Age: 23

Timezone: Mountain

In Character Application

Full Name: Evander Kęstutis Lupin

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Gender/Pronouns: Cis-male, He/Him

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor.

Head canons:

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Suicidal Thoughts (?), Excessive Drinking, Past Alcoholism

Family

His family had risen in the face of adversity, gaining riches and prestige when before the name Lupin was buried in a sea obscurity. A mixture between luck and determination had changed fate for the name Lupin. His father had been a successful wizarding lawyer with a knack for investments who rose to the top of a prestigious law firm and his mother had been a muggleborn Healer. Years later after meeting, Evander was born in the middle of tempestuous storm late in the afternoon October 26, twenty-eight years ago, to the joy of his parents. He grew up in loving household, looking up to his father and the kindness of his mother. And then came Camille, a sister who Evander doted on, protected, and argued with. It was perfect for Evander. He was perfectly content to debate with his father while playing wizarding chess (though Evander often lost), play the piano with his mother, and dance with his sister.  He grew up where his family was his world.

Her

Evander never expect it to end like this. He had approached her, a smile on his lips and a plan in his mind, willing to hurt anyone in anyway he could to get the names he craved. He saw her as a tool, a way to pry the Pride Society apart, brick by brick until their pure blood ran through his hands and stained his teeth. But Dahlia, she was so unexpected. Sweet and willing to look past the monster he had been creating himself into with rebellious stars in her eyes. He ran them through conversations, trying to trip her up, to admit the bias she had towards him and all like him. He torn down the gilded lies she was raised on in the cruelest ways possible to deliver the truth and all she had done was thanked him, kissed him, lips sweet with cigarette smoke. She wrapped his heart in chain, past the walls of fire and the iron walls that had blocked all but a few out. Evander loves her. Its frightening to touch her soft skin and run his hands through her hair, knowing just how much he would do for her. The buried kindness peaks out behind the burning flames of anger, his blood-stained hands gentle as they hold her, eyes softening in her visage.

Facing Fear

Once upon a time, when Evander could smile without the bitterness of loss, he ran across a Boggart in Hogwarts.  It wasn’t suspiring to him to see the death of his family. But back then in the arrogance of youth, while the imagines haunted him, Evander had been able to easier overcome the boggarts attempt. After all, that would never happen to his family. But it did and now Evander asks, what is the boggart of a man who has had his worst fear realized, the nightmare turned into a reality? He doesn’t want to find out. Because Evander can guess.  He doesn’t fear being the monster he is, the vicious being in the dark willing to set the whole world on fire, drenching them all in blood. No Evander can imagine the brutalized bodies of those he still has with him (Darius, Dahlia, Zephyra), in the way his family were killed. He fears being alone again, knowing that without them he would sure get himself killing taking as many of them out as he could.

A Dose of Something That Doesn’t Numb the Pain

Evander barely drinks now, just enough to put on airs of acceptance. Alcohol has never brought anything good in his life. The night his family were killed, he had been at some wretched party in a brown liquored haze. He had arrived much too late to help his family and much too drunk to help himself. He had spent months and months on end at the bottom of a bottle, hoping the tears would stop and the pain would numb. Once the numbness came, he drank and drank hoping for the burn, to feel anything. Darius helped him, as his best mate always has (why he would do anything for him), leading him from the drink. He still craves it sometimes, but his willpower is stronger than any Prohibition. Tea and coffee became replacements for the drink with the added benefit of keeping him awake after long nights that leave bags under his eyes.

Aren’t You the Big Bad Wolf?

The first time Evander had produced a patronus it had taken the visage of a St. Bernard.  Loving and loyal and especially protective towards family members. Evander had been ecstatic with the large, friendly dog for years. Then came that night, the once that changed everything. His family gone, killed, and Evander alone and suffering through the loss. The cold and numb of grief overcame his every attempt at a patronus for over a year. And then the numb was washed away with anger and a desire for vengeance. For every one of those bigots to pay for his mother’s screams and his sister’s blood splattered across her face. Another year passed and the anger burned and burned until it banked, always there but simmering, just waiting for more fuel ready to be added at a moment’s notice. And dashes of happiness returned with Darius, his brother in all but blood. Springing from his wand, there is now and evermore a grey wolf, a lone wolf searching, snarling and ready to tear the world apart in his burning need for retribution and to protect all that remains.

Weapon Clutched in his Hand

11 ¾ inches, Blackthorn, Dragon Heartstring, Unbending

In Character Paragraph:

A Shifting Wind

Eyes shooting open, Evander shot up out of bed with a snarl spread across his lips as the familiar nightmare branded itself onto the inside of the eyelids. He shivered slightly as the cool air hit his heated, bare chest. Hands ran through his sweat soaked hair once before coming to rest on his face. He didn’t need to look at the clock to know that it was absurdly early, like always. It was always too early (Why was he always too early or too late?). Taking a deep breath, he kicked down the pale sheets and swung his legs over the bed, making sure to grab his wand from its place on his bedside table. From experience, Evander knew there was no reason to try and sleep again. The branded images wouldn’t go away, not unless he sated a need. He needed to do something and not be trapped within four walls, waiting for the despair to destroy him.

But there was nothing he could do, not right now in the middle of the city. He sighed as he made his way out to his living room, where his mother’s piano still laid. A finger brushed across the ivory surface as melancholy crashed upon him. Slumping onto the seat in front of the piano, he stared at the keys. When was the last time he had played? A few days before that night, the night when his whole world was cruelly ripped away. His hands clenched as he brought a fist onto the keys. A defining calamity of notes reverberated through the room. Eyes closed tightly, he placed his hands on the white keys already comparing the images in his mind. Hands changed by time and his desire to destroy every Pride Society piker with callouses and split knuckles. He paused right before pressing down, thinking of how everything was colored by that night.  

He couldn’t play it. Not yet, not now. He would one day if he didn’t die on his road for revenge. Standing and summoning some clothes, he dressed. He had promised himself no more wallowing. It’s why he was here in the good ol’ United States anyway. Evander was going to get even and then some. A smirk spread across his face, his jaw taunt as he made his way out into the New York City night.

Fight Till They All Know What’s Within

TW: Blood, Violence, Fighting

Evander wiped at the hot dripping under his nose, not caring for more blood to tinge his hand as he stared at the bloodied man on the ground, getting a glance of his watch as he fell back into form. He was late, very late. A Faux pas, Dahlia would say, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about being late. Not when he had to take care of this sap. Lips peeled back and eyes narrowed, he stomped down on the man’s chest. The gasped “Jeepers Creepers” from the man brought a twisted smirk to his face. “Dry up and you leave that Jane alone. You hear?” Evander snarled at the man while pulling the man up by his lapels, slightly shaking him. The bruised man rapidly nodded and Evander glared at the man, trying to see if he was telling the truth. Disgust flashed across his face at the frightened expression that he saw there. “Get!” He ordered and let go, satisfied with the way the man crawled backwards and ran off. Once he was gone, Evander looked around for the doll he had saved from that man’s harsh, pulling grasp. He didn’t see her and just hoped that she got to safety.

Straightening his suit jacket with a shake, he turned and continued on his way to the Cotton Club. He ignored the stares he was getting on his way, not concerned with the muggles staring at his rumpled suit and the blood striped across his hands. In what felt like no time at all, Evander saw the sign of the Cotton Club and Darius’ blond hair under the shining lights. He smiled at the sight of his best mate, glad that the other man just glanced at his blood-soaked cuffs and the red remains under his nose. Darius understood, better than anyone just what they meant and why Evander fights muggles. The need for relief against everyone who deserved Evander’s fist to their face, everyone until they got to the ones who had taken their families. “Is it gone?” He asked Darius after wiping the dried blood. Once he wouldn’t have cared if the left-over blood stained his face, but he knew either rumors would reach Dahlia’s ears or perhaps she would be here tonight. He didn’t want to worry her. Clapping Darius on the shoulder, he started on side. “Come on! Let’s get edged.”

Extras:

Pinterest

https://www.pinterest.com/ajninkon/evander-lupin/

Song Inspo

Blood on My Name- The Brother Bright

Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea- MISSIO

DEVIL- Shinedown

Sunflower- Post Malone & Swae Lee

Run -AWOLNATION

Hunt You Down- Hit House ft Ruby Friedman

Aesthetics

Going to sleep with the rising sun and waking moments later, nightmares never far behind. Impossible to be content with staying still. A duality of high-class suits and battered leather jackets. Lips tasting champagne and only desiring the burn of something strong to bank the flames. Smoke on his lips and hers. Afraid of loving again, afraid of what they could wrought. Secrets he never meant to get in the way of an unbreakable bond. Kindness buried beneath vengeance rising. Fighting with fists, fighting with wands. Split lips and bloodied knuckles, a smile drowned in blood. A shield and weapon all in one body. Prepared to bleed and die for a cause. Shaking it off every pureblood rhetoric in the face of what is right.

[feelsgood-anon]

Eros - Bar AU [Season 2] Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: THIS PIECE IS A MYSTIC MESSENGER AU.  IT IS HEAVILY INSPIRED BY THE AMERICAN SITCOM CHEERS, A SHOW CENTERED AROUND A BOSTON BAR CALLED CHEERS AND IT’S REGULARS.  EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TRIED TO KEEP AS MUCH OF CANON PERSONALITIES WITH ALL THE MYSTIC MESSENGER CHARACTERS JUST REMEMBER THAT IT IS AN AU AND A FEW THINGS MAY BE DIFFERENT THAN IN GAME OR YOUR HEADCANONS. THIS HAS BEEN FUN TO PLAN AND I HOPE YOU FIND A BIT OF JOY READING IT!  

PG13+ FOR SWEARIN’ AND BOOZIN’.

[Season 1]

[Season 2] | Prologue | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5p1 | Ch. 5p2 | Ch. 6 | Ch.7 | Ch. 8

It was twelve in the afternoon and the entire Eros staff was busy cleaning the entire bar. Zen had been barking out orders between dragging the ladder to clean out any of the vents, “Cannon, make sure the baseboards are completely free of dust! Red, check for anything resembling mold along the drying racks for the glasses. Sunny, check under every table for gum or any other gunk!” From his knelt position on the floor, Cannon grunted, “What do you think i’m doing here, boss? Giving the wall a quickie? Why are you freakin’ out so badly anyway. We shine this place up every Sunday and you sure as hell make sure we go over everything after close.” “I don’t care! Double check everything! The health inspector is coming today and if we get hit with any violations, Sugar is going to have my ass!” Zen exasperated, wiping the metal of an air vent not once, twice, but three times. It was true that he was obsessed with the place being clean but he always got jittery when it came to code violations. He’d rather be safe than sorry, even if they all had to work extra hours. “Zen, this place looks great and it always has. I think we can slow down a bit and just spot check.” Sunny squeaked from beneath a table. Of course she found nothing as she had done this same exact task the night before, “What are you so afraid of, anyway?” Zen screwed the cover back in place, letting out a sigh as he looked down at the woman, “I’m not afraid of anything. I just don’t want any issues. As soon as the inspector can leave, the more relaxed we can all be.” “I’m pretty relaxed right now, honestly. Whoever comes doesn’t scare me. We’ve always passed the health inspection!” Red chimed in as he obediently followed Zen’s orders. He knew better then to complain, since the other bartender always seemed on edge when things like this came up, “But it doesn’t hurt to double-check our work!” Zen nodded with a smile, glad that at least one of them would be on his side, “Exactly! If we do this now, we won’t have to worry about a thing! And also, I promised you guys lunch and dinner on top of being paid for these extra hours! Not a bad gig, eh?” “I’ll take sleeping in over that, boss.” Cannon hissed, but he too knew to just go along with whatever crazy ramblings Zen had. “Lets just finish up so I don’t have to keep crawling around. My legs are starting to hurt.”

The evening finally came around and patrons were about left and right, being oddly busy for a weekday. This worried Zen greatly, since it was even harder to keep things tidy with the flow of business. He constantly had to remind himself that the inspection didn’t really have anything to do with how messy the customers were, but how they handled the clean up. Jingle~ “Welcome to Eros!” Zen called out, flashing a bright smile to the older man that entered, “What can I serve you?” The gentleman waddled over to the bar, a disgruntled look on his face, “I’m Mr. Soo, here to do an inspection. Where is the owner of this bar?” Zen cleared his throat and straightened up, wiping his hands along a towel, “That would be me, sir. Zen at your service! Please take a look around, I’m sure you’ll find-” “Yes yes, I’ll find this place in tip-top shape. That’s what everyone says. Look kid, I’ve had a long day already so don’t try to kiss my ass. I’ll look around and don’t bother me!” Mr. Soo placed his things down on the bar top and wandered towards the back first. Red let out a low whistle once the man was out of sight, “He sure is friendly, huh?” Cannon snickered as he doodled along his order book, “Glad to see that someone else doesn’t put up with Zen’s bullcrap.” “Hey! I was just being friendly. I can’t help it if the guy had a rough day. He’ll warm up to me, they always do.” They all turned when they heard a boisterous laugh come from the back room. The only person there was the inspector, what could have caused him to erupt in such a fit? Zen looked around and turned paler than he already was when he noticed Sunny missing, “Oh no...please tell me she’s in my office.” “Last I knew, she was tidying up the pool tables.” Cannon replied. He seemed to have a homing missile for her location at all times which no one ever questioned, “You should have given her the day off, boss. You know how she manages to screw things up on accident.” “I can go check on them if you’d like,” Red offered, but before Zen could answer the two had emerged from the back. “What was that noise again? How do the pipes sound in the storage closet?” Mr. Soo egged Sunny on. “They go, EEEEEEEEEWWWWOOOOOAAAAPP! I swear! It’s only when its really windy outside, but it scares me. Do you think the roof will cave in?” Sunny responded with genuine curiosity. Although the inspector bursted into another fit of giggles, Zen was having trouble catching his breath. Why would she even think to point out anything out of place? Granted, the pipes had nothing to do with the health inspection but bringing attention to potential issues wasn’t necessarily a great idea. “Show me the bathrooms, Sunny! You really think there’s a ghost in there?” Mr. Soo, pulled her along. “Oh yes! I hear knocking on the windows and walls all the time when I’m in there! Maybe it’s a friendly ghost, though. You know, like the ones of TV. Sometimes I sit in there and talk to them. Just imagine how lonely they get. Maybe they just want friends!” Cannon facepalmed at her ridiculous comments. Who in the world would want to actively listen to her ramblings? Why in the world did he find it annoyingly cute? He sighed loudly and picked up the tray that had been set up for his table, “You two better control that girl or she’ll probably get this place a bad score.” “No no, I think...this will work.” Zen tapped along his chin as he fell into contemplation, “He’s laughing at her because he doesn’t know her all that well. We all shake our heads because we know how naive she can be. Maybe...we should let her run her course. If he gets in a better mood, he’ll be a bit more lenient!” Red chuckled as he filled a few glasses with beer for the patrons around the bar top, “You are putting a lot of trust in that girl. If you don’t recall, she’s single-handedly caused a few of your breakdowns.” “Yes but he seems to enjoy her company! Maybe he’s into that kind of thing, you know? Old guys are weird. They can be into the whole, airhead routine. All she has to do is keep talking and bouncing around the way...she...does…” Zen trailed off, eyes widening as he realized, along with Red, what could potentially be happening. “Maybe he’s a creeper.” They both whispered in unison and without another word, they both scrambled out from behind the bar to run to the bathroom. “SUNNY!” When the door was slammed open, their eyes fell on the waitress who had stood up on the water heater while waving her arms around like wet noodles, “Ghost friends~! Meet Mr. Soo! He’s really nice and wants to be your friend too! Come out and say hello - oh hey guys! You want to talk to the ghosts too?” She smiled at the two at the door, Mr. Soo holding back his laughter at her display. “Sunny, get down from there! You’ll hurt yourself!” Zen snipped at her, walking to help her step down, “There aren’t any ghosts here, what are you talking about?” She held a finger to her lips, shushing him, “Don’t say things like that, you’ll hurt their feelings! Apologize!” “Apologize? What! Sunny, c’mon!” Zen whined, “You have tables to look after, you know.” Sunny pouted as she kicked her feet along the tile, “Alright. It was nice walking around with you, Mr. Soo! I have to go back to work though.” “It’s alright, child. You go on! My my, you’re so sweet, you remind me of my granddaughter. Let’s get this inspection finished up, shall we? I’m in a much better mood now thanks to her.” Zen let out a sigh of relief once the two had left the bathroom, shooting a gaze towards Red, “I told you she would come in handy.” “Be glad that he didn’t get handsy, though.” Red smirked, “I don’t know if Sugar could cover up a lawsuit for beating up someone like an inspector.” Zen waved him off, heading out back towards the bar. He perked when he saw that Duckie had entered, immediately going to fill him a mug of beer, “Hey you! Sorry I didn’t hear you come in. Doing alright tonight?” Duckie smiled as he saw Zen, waving wildly in his direction, “Hey! Yeah, it’s been fine! Finished up a term paper so I decided to stop in for a drink. Who’s the old guy poking around the bar?” “It’s the health inspector. It’s that time of year, you know.” Red answered as he joined Zen behind the bar, “Don’t worry about him. I think Sunny just won us a passing grade.” “Were you worried? This place is always spotless! The cleanest place on this side of town!” Duckie chirped, graciously taking the drink that Zen offered him, “I mean, you are always cleaning something or having things shifted around. I couldn’t even imagine what he would find wrong.” “You never know, Duckie,” Zen said as he started cleaning some dirty cups, “I hate to admit it, but even I’m human and can overlook things.” Cannon gasped as he put his arm around Duckie, “Did you hear that, Ducks? The almighty boss admits to being imperfect? Someone call the doctor! Better yet, the news station! This is truly ground-breaking!” “Shut up, Cannon.” Zen sneered, “As amazing as I am, I know I make mistakes. Such as the mistake of hiring you.” Cannon wiggled his fingers towards Zen, “Oooh, scary~ you sure showed me!” “Come on, guys! Play nice.” Sunny chided as she walked up, handing Red a drink order, “Everyone here is vital to the team and there were no mistakes made!” She nodded firmly and pat Cannon on the head, “Even you, between your harsh words and sour moods.” Cannon blushed softly, clearing his throat as he created distance between him and Sunny, “Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Zen narrowed his gaze on the waiter, watching him fumble around before heading to his tables. His jaw dropped as the light bulb illuminated in his head. Did Cannon have a crush on Sunny? Is this why he was always thrown into a bad mood when the girl would get anywhere near him? His thoughts cycled through the instances he could remember when the younger man would get irrationally angry at Sunny’s closeness, every time she would be garnering comfort or physical interaction with him. “Oh.” The bartender muttered to himself. He instantly felt terrible for the things he haphazardly did that may have made Cannon jealous. Zen never meant to, admittedly he was only trying to protect Sunny from Cannon’s temper. A wide smile spread across his lips as he started to hatch a plan. This could potentially improve relations between him and his employees, and give Cannon a bit of happiness in his otherwise stressful life. “Hey Zen! The inspector wants to speak with you in your office,” Red interrupted his thoughts, “Better go see what the principal has to say.” “Hmm? Oh, yeah. Watch the bar for a bit, I’ll be back.” Zen answered as he went to follow Mr. Soo back into the room. After some time, they came out in good spirits, The older man patting Zen’s back, “You’re alright, kid! Keep up the good work! I expect a good drink when I come back!” “Anything for you, Mr. Soo!” Zen bowed towards him before leading him to the door, “I appreciate you coming tonight, and I’ll make sure Sunny is your waitress when you do come in for that drink!” Other light banter was exchanged before the inspector left the bar, and Zen turned towards Red with a thumbs up, “Passed with flying colors! He thought the place was spotless! Good job everyone!” A rumble of cheers passed through the establishment, Sunny running up to Zen to give him a hug, “See! Nothing to worry about!” He stopped her before she could wrap her arms around him, patting her on the head, “Yeah, I wasn’t worried in the slightest! Hey, why don’t you go tell Cannon that he did a good job? He always says something snarky to me but I really want him to know that I appreciate his hard work.” She tilted her head and looked over at Cannon who was cleaning up a freshly abandoned table, “Okay! He really does work hard, I shouldn’t give him such a hard time.” Once she skipped over to him, Zen made his way back behind the bar and lowered his head towards Red, “Hey, has your brother ever had a crush on someone?” Red raised a brow, “Eh? I think so. He’s too stubborn to believe it if he does, but I know when he acts differently around certain people.” “And is there anyone you can think of right now that he treats differently?” Zen mused, watching the two waiters interact from a distance. Red blinked and followed Zen’s gaze, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “Say, you think so too?” Zen nodded, and they both stood there watching as Cannon blushed at Sunny’s compliments and affirmations. They looked at eachother, grinning wildly. “You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” Zen asked. “I think I am thinkin’ what you’re thinkin’. Between the two of us thinkin’, we could probably make things happen,” Red replied. “Hey, you two sure are thinking a lot. Want to share?” Duckie leaned forward towards them as he had caught their exchange, “I can keep a secret!” “You really can’t, Duckie.” Red chuckled, “Especially when you drink too much.” He reached for the empty beer glass in front of the blonde to refill it, “Just sit back and enjoy the show.” “Ugh, you two suck!” Duckie pouted, “One day I’ll have a big secret and I won’t tell any of you!” “Yes you will.” Zen and Red, once again, spoke in unison. Duckie grabbed the fresh mug and huffed, “Whatever, you’ll see.”

taggerino: @zenscrotch @illneverrecover @suzunesays @serensama @kookiedoe @forever-ender  ((If y’all don’t wanna be tagged anymore, let me know! I know it’s been F O R E V E R))

[meganmazing]

An All Phlint Rec List!

One guess which pairing I fell head-first into this time...

Need more time? No problem, I’ll give you a hint. It involves SHEILD’s #1 eye in the sky and his long-suffering, slightly anal-retentive handler. The purple Avenger and the dead-not-dead agent. You know them, and if you don’t already love them, these fics will fix that for you. Sorry in advance for how long this is, but there are so many fics and I have too many feelings.

Some of them even feature Pizza Dog, because we are a blessed fandom.

Most of these are rated Explicit, but not all! I even mention a G-rated fic, and I’m proud of me for branching out my recs. I don’t read non-con/dub-con, and I’m not usually into ABO stuff, so you won’t find any of that here, if it’s a concern. Just in case, read the tags! I also don’t read unhappy endings, becasue I’m not about that life.  

Click the bold titles (sometimes the little lines indicating a link aren’t there, but the link still is) and don’t forget to leave kudos/comments on the ones you love, to spread that love to the authors! And as always, there will always be more fics that I love/bookmark/scream about in my bookmarks page on my ao3 account: megamazing

College AU

Launch Your Assault by foxxcub  Words: 30k  Rating: E

Phil Coulson was more than halfway through his six year plan, and everything was chugging along nicely.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t foreseen a cocky junior Art major waltzing into his life, or his floor.

So this is within the same universe as Bulletproof, a stony College AU fic, but I never read that one. Phlint College AU’s I love, but not so much with stony? I have weirdly subjective preferences when it comes to fics.

However, I will rec this one with my dying breath. It is Phil’s POV, and I have such a soft spot for college age Phil now, thanks to this story. As a college student myself, I felt that everything was really realistic and I believed everything. More than that, I want to give both the boys a hug. They need it after this. 

Also, as you’ll see later on in this list, I love the “fuck buddies” trope with hidden feelings that are so not hidden it’s embarrassing. And heartbreaking. As much as I want to hug Phil, I also think he needs a swift kick or seven.  

Safety Not Guaranteed by foxxcub  words: 4k+ (nearly 5k) Rating: M

Phil was informed of the Sigma Iota tradition of White Elephant two weeks before Christmas break. He’d heard of other chapters on campus having holiday parties and had figured the SI’s did the same.

But he was quickly learning the SI’s didn’t do things quite like other fraternities.

Short, sweet, and funny. Of course this would happen to them, within a group of people where blatant, verbal communication is a practically a foreign notion. I laughed, I sympathetically cringed, and there are sexytimes, too. What’s not to love here, really? (Wade has a great cameo, too, so of course this was going on the list)

I'll Learn To Dance If You Promise Not To Laugh by torakowalski  words: 10k+ rating: E

A College AU in which there are long distance relationships, misunderstandings, and no one actually spends any time in college.

The insecurity in this fic kills me in the best way. Clint puts on an act sometimes, acting stronger and suaver than maybe he feels. When your bf is older and cooler and smarter and too good for you, what else can you do? Naturally, that strategy works great until it doesn’t. 

Thor, Darcy, and Jane are wonderful and I just want more of them! I would never have pictured them as Phil’s roommates, but it works so well and watching Clint interact with them is great. 

Everyone deserves a hug: Clint for being a sweet idiot, Phil for being a well-meaning moron, and the roommate squad for putting up with their shit and making it fun.  

(more torakowalski fics in the final section, because I’m in love with their work and need to throw more at you)

Other AU

Kindergarten ‘verse by soniclipstick (veriscence)  total words: 38k+ Respective ratings: E, G, and E

Kindergarten teacher Clint Barton has never been in a healthy stable relationship in his life. Hell, mostly he doesn't bother leaving his house unless his best friend drags him out for 'socialising'. He's happy with his life as a hermit; he has a dog, and fifteen sticky tiny humans to teach core skills to. That's more than enough commitment for him

But that's all about to change when the new school year brings along with it some major surprises, such as Phil Coulson, the widowed father of one of his students and owner of the bluest eyes Clint's ever seen.

(summary from the first fic in the series)

I am rec’ing the whole series here, because I want to curl up and live in the world the author created. It has everyone you could think of wanting to see from both general Marvel canon and also Agents of SHIELD. Look, as I’m writing this, I want to go back and re-read the first fic. As the author states in the tags, it’s totally Fraction’s Hawkeye, aka my favorite and the best (soz MCU Clint, you’re cool too, sometimes).

This could have been so stupid. It’s a kindergarten teacher AU, it very easily could have been something I read two paragraphs of and clicked away. But it isn’t. When the author says fluff and angst, they mean it. It hurt my heart and made me giddy by turns. Also, sexytimes. But the feelings! I connected so much with Clint in this, and felt so much for Phil, and the payoff feels so earned by the time it happens.

The supporting cast is phenomenal, and it may be my favorite of this whole list, which is saying a lot because I love them all. Even the smaller cameos were hilarious and made me smile.

EVEN IF YOU READ NO OTHER FIC ON THIS LIST, READ THIS SERIES.

Pre-Avengers (mostly)

Slow and Soft by onthewaters  Words: 23k Rating: E 

When Coulson adds Barton to his team, he expects smartassery. Except there isn't any...

This is it. This is the story I was looking for and craving without even knowing it. That may make zero sense, but I don’t know how else to put it. The writing and the storytelling here are on another level, and I mean that in the best possible way. It shows them getting together - including the beginning of the incredible friendship between the trio (Nat, Clint, and Phil) and Nat and Clint's bond - as well as the most believable/subtle pinning I’ve read in awhile. 

Phil's characterization is the best in this one. It’s his POV, and his personality just shines. This is one of the ones I really treasure, and I won’t apologize for how extra I am about it. 

Operation Snapdragon by Laura Kaye (laurakaye) words: 10k+ rating: E

They’d decided to call it Operation Snapdragon, Jasper had explained, because snapdragons meant “deception” in the language of flowers.

It would be more accurate to call it Operation Rip Out Phil's Heart And Grind It Beneath The Feet Of Mobsters, but apparently there wasn't a flower for that.

The humor is on point, and I am a sucker for pining!Phil and sarcasm. It’s a fake marriage fic, where they’re undercover as a couple. Tell me that doesn’t sound perfect for these two. BUT WAIT, there’s more: they’re already a thing before the fake marriage mission, and Phil has been feeling insecure in the relationship! Voicing concerns in a healthy manner is out of the question, naturally. Idiots.

It takes place over six months, featuring flashbacks to how Phil ended up in a strip club run by the mob, smiling lovingly at his husband while a mobster talks about how great they are together. 

Plenty of miscommunication on par with the trope, and you just want to give Clint a hug, becasue you know what’s going on, but Phil can’t catch a hint. It has art at the end, too, which is adorable.

The Clothes that Make the Man by orderlychaos  words: 17k+ rating: E

There was something comforting in the way Clint could focus on Coulson’s dry, deadpan tone as bullets and explosions sounded around him. Come rain, hail or bursts of experimental weaponry, Agent Coulson would be there, calm and controlled in that damn suit, like the personification of order against chaos.

However, contrary to rumour, Phil Coulson was not born in a suit. This is the story of how Clint Barton glimpsed the man underneath and fell in love.

(Or five times Clint saw Phil outside of a suit and the one time he wore a suit himself).

IT’S A FIVE AND ONE, boys, we’ve made it. This my favorite trope in all of fanfiction history. It’s also pre-avengers for the first half, but then kinda after? Coulson isn’t dead and doesn’t appear to ever have been, but in the later chapters, the Avengers are a thing? I’m not sure about timelines. It’s an AU, and it’s awesome. 

The important part is that there’s Clint POV and insecurity on both sides, as well as really sweet moments and pinning galore. Plus, it’s rated E, so obviously that too. It’s fairly lighthearted in general as well (meaning there are feelings and angst but there aren’t feelings and angst, if you know what I mean), and after some of the angst on this list, lighthearted fics are a gift. 

Coulson Lives - Reunion

Give a Dog a Bone by  Laura Kaye (laurakaye)  Words: 86k+ Rating: E

What do you do when your dead best friend turns up alive after three years? a) yell at him b) hug him c) ignore him to his face while following him around the Tower like a creeper d) maybe fall in love with him a little e) all of the above

Best summary, or best summary? 

This does not have enough kudos or recognition. I know it’s at nearly 960, and that’s a great amount, but it deserves so much more! I still think about this story, and it’s another one I want to re-read soon. 

When I mentioned Pizza Dog, this is one of the ones I had in mind.   

And Kate!!! His friendship with Kate is everything I’ve ever wanted. And his friendship with Tony, and obviously Nat. Basically, I love Clint having friends and getting to be petty becasue holy shit he deserves to be petty after everything SHIELD has put them all through. At the same time, nothing feels like Phil!whump or emotionally beating a character down unnecessarily. 

Clint does everything I want him to, and some stuff I didn’t even know I wanted him to do. There is so much pain, as you’d expect, but there is so much payoff and the balance is perfect. I connect with Clint’s characterization in general, but especially here. Just yes. 

Phil’s journey with the loss of his hand and adjusting to life with a prosthetic is also really cool, and something I hardly ever see. Same goes for Clint’s hearing loss. He isn’t deal, but and is completely capable/confident in himself, but there are struggles at times that make me wonder if the author has personal experience because it’s stuff I recognize from my mom’s experiences.  

doesn't matter if I bleed by t_fic (topaz), topaz, topaz119 (topaz)  Words: 25k+ Rating: E

Clint's never pretended to be deep. He's just the guy who sits back and watches, the guy who makes the shot when he needs to. He's seen a lot of crap in his time, sat through a lot of fucked-up scenes to get to where he needs to be, but this, now--he can't stand another second of it.

This feels like an argument for why the pairing works, and I loved it. It really deep dives into the issues all three of them - Clint, Nat, and Phil - have in a way that feels so real and relatable to me, personally, that it cut me right to the core. I still can't get over the incredible friendship between Clint and Nat in this. I loved every minute, and every win was so, so deserved. I want to curl up and live in the world the author created, tbh. Also, there are sexytimes. Can't forget those.

Tony also has the line early on that nearly made me cry: "Someone has some serious fucking explaining to do, because you," he pokes at Coulson, "we fucking buried you." The scene is already so emotionally charged, and then this and it kills me becasue of all the off-page backstory and emotional weight it gives for the rest of the story.

I’m emo and dramatic about all of these, but I mean it when I say it feels like proof for why Clint and Phil work. Just, yes.

Coulson Lives - some point after the off-page reunion

The Best Bad Ideas by copperbadge words: 17k+  rating: M

When Clint Barton put on the Captain America costume for a mission, he didn't count on Phil Coulson's reaction. Coulson didn't count on Clint crashing his new team to do something about it.

Oh yeah, you read that right. It’s just as funny as it sounds, and all of a sudden you get hit with the angst and it works. Even so, this one is a lot lighter and it’s fun. Cap and Co’s reactions are just as funny, and the gossip sessions between the ensemble are some of my favorite bits. (side note: why have I never considered the badass-ery that would be a Nat and Melinda May friendship?) 

Pine Lake Oasis by infiniteeight  words: 32k+  rating: E

When SHIELD gets intel that an arms dealer might soon be receiving Chitauri technology, Fury sends Clint and Coulson undercover to establish surveillance, ingratiate themselves with the arms dealer and his right hand man, and possibly intercept the sale. The catch? The arms dealer and his lieutenant are apparently posing as a couple, which means the best way for Clint and Coulson to get close is to pose as a couple, too. The longer the op goes on, the more Clint wonders which relationship is more real.

MORE PRETEND MARRIED TROPES! We can never have too many, in my humble opinion. This one is very different from the mobster one, because it’s set in suberbia with plenty of nosy neighbors and also some arms dealers who are also posing as a couple. Frankly, I’m not sure anyone is posing as anything in this fic when it comes to feelings. 

The domesticity in this story is so good and it’s so sad watching them get used to it and hearing Clint think it can’t last...but then! And everything feels earned by the end, instead of just tossed in. You watch them get closer over the course of the story and I love it. 

They’re sassy and sarcastic and funny, and so true to the characters we’ve come to love that it all feels so believable. 

Just torakowalski Fics 

(Yes. I did add a whole section just for one author. If I hadn’t, every category would be overrun, and there are so many good fics out there! But this author gets me, and more importantly, gets Clint and Phil, so it had to be done.)

Been Looking at You Forever  words: 18k+ (closer to 19k)  rating: E

Clint and Phil are friends. Friends who have sex. That’s all there is to it. Honestly. 

Fuckbuddies with a healthy dose of accidental relationship because whoops, who knew “casual” sex with hidden feelings would lead to complications and more feelings?? Set post-Avengers movie, and including all the main faves as side characters. 

Guys, I’ll be real with you for a second. I don’t ship either stucky or Tony/Pepper, and yet this has both as background but blatant relationships. And I still don’t ship them, but I believed it within the story and I wasn’t bothered? If that doesn’t tell you how good of a writer tora is...

I am addicted to the way they write Clint and Phil, and the fact that it doesn’t look like they’ll be writing more for that pairing makes me hold on tighter to the stories we do have. Sure, the premise of this fic is a trope, but the relationships between the characters puts it on another level for me. This one will make you crave more of this trope out of all your fave pairings, trust me.

And All the Clocks Came Back to Life  Words: 4k+ Rating: T

Phil Coulson isn't a big fan of birthdays, but they're better than being dead.

Pizza Dog is a character again, and so is my favorite apartment complex in Marvel Comics continuity. This is the sweetest story (it’s also the shortest one on this list *gasp*) and it doesn’t have anything explicit, which I know some people prefer, but trust me. The way tora writes these boys is so worth the read. I have the warm-fuzzies just thinking about this fic again - I dare you not to feel like smiling with this one. Naturally, there are grounded feels too, and I just want to protect Clint with my whole being. Luckily, I’m pretty sure Coulson does, too. 

Both characterizations are on point.

Keeping the World at Bay  Words: 25k+ Rating: E

Finding out that Phil's alive and working with a new team isn't easy for Clint, and neither is helping Captain America track down the brainwashed Hydra assassin that used to be Bucky Barnes. 

This is another one where I still don’t ship stucky, but god damnit I’m here for everything in this fic. Clint gets to be fucking amazing in this one, both physically and on an emotional connective-ness level. It uses his own neuroses and backlog of problem/coping mechanisms and puts them to use in the best way. You know, if you’ve seen the movie Age of Ultron (meh movie overall but there are elements I adored) that Clint has the potential to fill the mentor position so well. He gets to do that here, or at least begin down that sort of path, and I loved it. 

For all my stony babes, I urge you to give it a shot. Just this once, let me peer pressure you.

I am also always here for Clint getting to be pissed off, because HELLO, he’s got a right. And my heart went out to Phil so hard. Guys, it’s a double reunion fic, as well as the first time potential best friends meet, why are you sleeping on this??

Back to The Place You Are  Words: 7k+  Rating: E 

Phil Coulson was sitting two tables over from Clint and wearing his Dress Blues. This was making concentrating on anything else pretty much impossible.

Normally, I am Not A Fan of fics where they are broken up from the get-go. Or maybe I just have to be in the right mood/mind set for that brand of angst. AND YET. This fic.  

It’s Tony and Pepper’s wedding, and naturally Phil has to dress the part right? Clint should have been prepared, but clearly, he was not. This one is pretty much smut with angst and feels, and like Clint, I was not prepared for how much I would love reading it. 

What We've Got Here Is Enough words: 7k+ rating: E

They don’t fuck in the Avengers’ Mansion, that’s rule number one of Having A Secret Relationship With Your Ex-Handler.

This one was great, and involves how the rest of the team finds out about their relationship. Not a ton to say aside from what I’ve already said about how tora writes these two! 

Want more recommendations? Let me know! Maybe I ship what you ship and we can scream about the great fanfic together. 

[fromtheringapron]

WWF The Wrestling Classic

Date: November 7, 1985.

Location: Rosemont Horizon in Chicago, Illinois.

Attendance: 14,000

Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura. 

Results: 

1. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Corporal Kirchner. 

2. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Dynamite Kid defeated Nikolai Volkoff (with Freddie Blassie). 

3. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Ivan Putski.

4. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Ricky Steamboat defeated Davey Boy Smith via referee stoppage. 

5. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Junkyard Dog defeated The Iron Shiek (with Freddie Blassie). 

6. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Moondog Spot defeated Terry Funk (with Jimmy Hart) via count-out. 

7. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Tito Santana defeated Don Muraco (with Mr. Fuji). 

8. Wrestling Classic, Round 1: Paul Orndorff defeated Bob Orton via disqualification. 

9. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Dynamite Kid defeated Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart). 

10. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Ricky Steamboat.

11. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Junkyard Dog defeated Moondog Spot.

12. Wrestling Classic, Quarter-Final: Tito Santana and Paul Orndorff fought to a double count-out.  

13. WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hulk Hogan (champion) defeated Roddy Piper via disqualification. 

14. Wrestling Classic, Semi-Final: Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Dynamite Kid. 

15. Wrestling Classic, Tournament Final: Junkyard Dog defeated Randy Savage (with Miss Elizabeth) via count-out.

Analysis

Since the first WrestleMania was largely viewed via closed circuit television, The Wrestling Classic holds the distinction of being the WWF’s first event available exclusively on pay-per-view. The show proved successful enough to open up the flood gates for wresting on pay-per-view going forward, but does it hold up now? Absolutely fucking not. Due to the nature of the Wrestling Classic tournament, the entire show is put on fast-forward. We’re given some  ofthe quickest and screwiest finishes that would never leave the writer’s room today (or at least I hope). It doesn’t even have the charming naiveté of the first WrestleMania going for it. It’s certainly a historical curiosity, but that’s about it.

It’s kinda amazing to see some of the ideas they implement here that we wouldn’t see again. The show is presented to us in WrestleVision, which sounds like the type of gimmick I’d expect from a William Castle B-movie than an actual wrestling event. I’m sure since the show was such a novelty at the time, the whole WrestleVision bit was meant to make it feel a bit more special. A shame it still doesn’t present itself in any real, visible way throughout the entire broadcast. We’re also treated to a poorly laid-out Rolls Royce giveaway where the winner doesn’t even make an appearance. This idea of a prize giveaway would be explored again at the first In Your House where the WWF gave away an actual house, but at least that fit within the theme of that show. There’s no point to this car giveaway other than just to have one and, no, Lord Alfred Hayes rambling on the microphone isn’t going to make it better.

The good thing is that since everything is on speed mode and we’re getting something new literally every five minutes, there isn’t a lot of time to be bored. None of the matches, even the biggest ones, go over 10 minutes. The transition between matches and segments are starting to flow a lot better at this point in the company’s history. Speaking of which, in terms of production values, this is leagues better than the first WrestleMania. It’s pretty incredible how far they’d come in a few short months. This is largely thanks to their partnership with Dick Ebersol, who helped them launch Saturday Night’s Main Event on NBC. Just a marked improvement all-round. 

As for the card itself, all of the usual suspects of 1985 WWF are here. Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper are obviously the biggest draws, but the real standout in hindsight is Randy Savage. Though he came aboard a few months prior, this feels like his true arrival. Everything we commonly associate with the Macho Man is on display⏤the manic demeanor, the incessant rambling, the in-ring psychology, etc. This is also a formal introduction to his relationship with Miss Elizabeth, which is certainly darker in a modern context but nonetheless serves as an early chapter to a story that’s going to play out over the next seven years of WWF television. He ultimately loses in the tournament finals, but he’s definitely the breakout character. A serviceable beginning for one of the most iconic legendary characters in wrestling history.

The Wrestling Classic isn’t an essential show by any means, but it’s pretty harmless fluff. It’s definitely a product of its time and if you’re into this time period, you’ll get a kick out of it. But don’t be fooled by the name⏤there’s a ton of wrestling, but it’s far from a classic. 

My Random Notes

Love the mid ‘80s WWF intro. Those laser sounds are everything.

Amazingly, one of the show’s most enduring contributions to the WWF canon is describing everything as a “happening.” The show is a happening. The matches are a happening. There’s just happenings upon happenings and Gorilla Monsoon is gonna let us know about it.

Like presumably many of you, I’m completely baffled by the mere existence of one Susan Waitkis. Who is she? Why is she dressed like one of the wives from Manos: The Hands of Fate? I can only guess that Vince McMahon probably envisioned every pay-per-view having these glamorous women stand about like the models on The Price is Right, but at least models there look attentive when they’re shilling dish detergent or whatever the fuck. Susan seems like she has no idea what the hell she’s doing. Fortunately, however, we’d get a much superior Susan six months later.

My god, Lord Alfred Hayes is next-level cringe on this show. What a hardcore creeper. There’s a point where he appears to be on the verge of dry-humping poor Ms. Waitkis with the most disturbing look on his face you could ever imagine. It’s so far removed from the dainty little British man we all know. I can’t believe I’m saying this but: Give me deathly terrified Lord Al from WrestleMania I any day over this.

Ivan Putski is definitely someone from a particular era of wrestling, but he feels out of place here. He looks like your dad flexing his muscles to show the young guys he’s still got it and it’s all a little embarrassing to watch.

Holy fuck does Jesse Ventura turns up the racism on Tito Santana. I probably don’t need to tell you the racism from the heel commentators of the era is one of the things from this era that’s aged the worst but, wow, it’s really bad. 

I really get a kick out of Ricky Steamboat’s acting when he draws Davey Boy Smith. “He’s a fine young man!” exclaims Steamboat, knowing he’s gonna have to beat the shit out of the same man later in the evening.

There’s some storyline where a bounty is on Paul Orndorff’s head. It doesn’t go anywhere and I honestly had no idea it even happened. I will say: between the first WrestleMania and this show, where the hell did Bobby Heenan get all that money?

Any word on what happened to Michael Hamley and what he did with that Rolls Royce? I feel like WWE Magazine did an interview with him several years later but I can’t be certain.