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seerofmike · 4 months ago

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Mike's Media Medley--June 2024

things i watched and played FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME this June 2024 (belated due both to hurricane beryl and also cuz im depressed <3)

2024 movie/show releases: Young Woman and the Sea, Inside Out 2, The Bikeriders

non-2024 movie/show releases: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999, recommended to me!), Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), La La Land (2016), One Piece (2023)

games: Chillquarium (2023)

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

this was recommended to me by a friend who swore up and down i would like this and tbh, i did! it was way funnier than i thought it would be, but kinda towards the middle (maybe more 2/3rds into the movie) it starts becoming more romance and drama heavy and kind of loses the comedic edge i was really liking about it. i also thought kat liking and disliking heath ledger was based more on whims sometimes. like i understood why she'd get pissed with him sometimes but i'd be confused other times, and also equally as confused as to why she decided she liked him again. idk maybe i just dont understand straight people

75/100

The Bikeriders

this movie meant nothing to me and i have already forgotten everything about it except for this thought which i was having the whole movie:

idk i feel bad rating it incredibly low since it didnt piss me off like Civil War did but also, is it worse to get pissed off by a film or is it worse to get so utterly bored by one that all of its details lapse from your mind as soon as you stop watching it?

idk. i guess it could've been worse. 20/100

Inside Out 2

okay so controversial opinion perhaps but i actually liked this one better than the first. HOWEVER, its not like i was necessarily the biggest fan of the first one. it's not like i hated it, i just never really clicked with it, i guess.

i think generally speaking the first one is more cohesive and more creative with its concepts, and has a bigger 'Pixar gutpunch' in the form of Bing Bong, but I thought Riley herself didn't really feel like a character and I found Sadness to be really annoying. so it was very appealing to Me, Specifically, that Sadness wasn't a main character and the other emotions got to play a bigger role (I am especially a fan of all the new emotions, even the ones that don't do shit like Ennui) and also that Riley feels like a PERSON

even if i think the first one had a bigger heartstrings-pulling moment this one overall made me feel way more. mostly cringe and secondhand embarrassment but it was out of recognition like "ohhh fuck ive been like that before". i saw this opening weekend amidst a sea of kids and there were some moments that i (and mostly other adults) were the only ones laughing.

ESPECIALLY a big fan of the vault with all of Riley's secrets. Pouchy was the best character actually. idk I just had fun with this one. I probaaaaaably wouldn't watch it again for a while but if my little brother put this on I would pay attention

70/100

La La Land (2016)

i did not like La La Land

i am not at all an expert on music nor musicals so i don't really feel like i can critique the musical aspect of it too deeply, but i CAN tell you that i didn't really vibe with any of the music and at times i found myself like. daydreaming instead of paying attention to what the characters were singing. i didn't really believe in her and ryan gosling's chemistry and i generally found his character to be irritating.

the most enjoyable parts of the movie to me were probably the musical sequences without any actual singing. i do like them tap dancing in the street and then their date where they start flying. i thought those were well-directed. in fact i thought there were a few well-directed and well-edited sequences in the movie. unfortunately i just never found the actual plot music or characters to be on par with the visuals.

i have not seen pretty much anything else that released that year re: Best Actress nominations (although Elle has been on my list) but i really find it hard to believe Emma won her first Oscar for this. idk i know a lot of people love this movie but it truly did nothing to me.

i guess i will say one of the things i DID like was the ending. how it didn't really work out, the silent musical scene at the end over a montage of what could've been. i like that there wasn't a happy ending just because generally i like when movies do that (if it feels believable anyways lol). but it didn't hit for me as hard as it should have because like i said it's not like i really cared for them to be together nor did i care for ryan gosling's jazz journey. i was a bit more invested in emma's acting journey but not enough to really say i truly cared about what happened to her.

idk. pretty visuals but weak everything else. 40/100 maybe

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

soooooo they put on the LOTR movies (the extended editions, specifically) which are the ones i watched. and i have something to admit. i have TRIED, several times, to get into the lord of the rings. i tried reading the hobbit. i ordered a fancy boxset of the LOTR trilogy and tried to read them. i watched the first movie but it took me 3 tries to complete it.

so i thought, okay. everyone raves about these movies. they HAVE to be good. maybe my attention span is fried. recently i've been getting tickets to movies that i could technically watch for free at home but buying tickets forces me to actually pay attention to them since i paid money and i won't be reaching for my phone or stopping to do something else. so i got myself 3 tickets to all 3 movies, back to back to back.

the first one was okay. i've seen it before. i found myself daydreaming midway through because i'd seen it already. i don't HATE it. i think a lot of the characters are generally very charming and likeable. i love samwise gamgee. i really liked borimir. frankly i could do without the elf lady because the way she speaks drove me insane and made me physically uncomfortable. the plot was a slow burn to build up the Fellowship, which I appreciated. surely the second movie would build upon this.

i do think, generally, that I liked the second movie better. i think Gollum is an interesting character and he was being performed and animated VERY well, especially considering the time when it comes to CGI effects. i liked merry and pippin's journey becoming more like heroes. the big battle at the end was done very well. and obviously i thought frodo and sam were a highlight.

that being said there were parts of the movie that i just did not care nor did i understand. im already hard of hearing and having to listen to british accents without any subtitles means that i legit didn't know what characters were saying maybe 1/3rd of the time. the new subplot of the. kingdom of guys. didnt work for me. i cant even remember what the hell the random kingdom of guys was about or named or anyone relevant because i didnt understand what was even going on. it was very fun seeing karl urban though

despite liking a lot of the movie, a lot of it just weighed down on me to the point that when i walked out i was like, "do i REALLY wanna sit through another 3 hours of this tomorrow?" and i decided i didn't and got a ticket refund.

at least the directing is fun. a lot of fantasy movies feel kinda boring and without personality but peter jackson really had a specific flair when it came to directing these.

60/100

One Piece (2023)

i didn't finish it so i wouldn't be rating it yet but i actually thought this was pretty fun! this could've been way messier but i think so far it looks like everyone is having fun and its juuuuust wacky enough. my only complaint is that zoro is waaaaaay too serious but idk maybe it gets better, i only watched maybe...4 episodes? i dont remember. i do look forward to finishing it. eventually

Young Woman and the Sea

well this was the sleeper hit i wasn't expecting to like as much as i did

i was bored one day and wanted to see a movie but nothing really jumped out at me that i hadn't seen yet. i ended up picking this one because I have seen Daisy Ridley in NOTHING. i will not watch Star Wars unless someone pays me actual money so I was curious to see her acting in something and picked this one. ive seen sports movies. i figured this one would be like a cheesy inspirational story but hey those arent necessarily bad

and yes, it IS cheesy and inspirational, but i liked it. a lot? it's 'based on a true story' which probably means that there are some embellishments but i found it genuinely compelling, between her childhood after surviving the measles to the way she and other young women were treated as swimmers, even during the olympics.

i thought the swimming seasons were decently thrilling. like, idk as someone who has attempted to watch competitive swimming it's just not really a glamorous sport to watch but the way this was shot and directed and the fact that they literally filmed it IN THE OCEAN, *in the English channel*, means that i was actually really invested in her managing this feat, both as a personal character motive and also for what it represented more widely when it came to women's physical accomplishments.

idk i guess im just kinda in shock i enjoyed it as much as i did. this was probably the movie i walked out of with the most positive outlook of all month. i'd watch it again.

80/100

games:

Chillquarium (2023)

i only played one new game this month, and that was Chillquarium, which is an idle/clicker kind of game where you manage fishtanks and grow fish by feeding them pellets.

fishe. what can i say

#mike's media medley

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northwest-cryptid · 5 months ago

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This shouldn't be nearly as much of a controversial opinion as it is; but I miss when games were literally and firstly designed to be fun experiences. That fun can absolutely lean into the demographic of the intended player; but the entertainment and fun used to be very clearly emphasized for the common player.

And see this is where I lose people. They get too caught up on the first part of that and ignore the last 2 words. I've heard people tell me "you're just salty because you're bad" but at the risk of sounding arrogant, no I'm actually salty because I'm better than the average player and if I'm getting frustrated and struggling to ENJOY the game then there might be a problem here.

Sure you can wave this off saying "you're arrogant if you think you're literally better than the average player" but honestly I see this issue a lot of in the communities of actually difficult games, where the difficulty is part of the fun. People treat it like a dick measuring contest and refuse to hear anything bad about it; as well as anyone saying they're actually good at it.

Thing is, I actually do enjoy difficulty in games. When I played ULTRAKILL I made a point to start the game on Violent. Even when I was told to go get all the weapons first; I found that I enjoyed a challenge that was designed with what I had available to me in mind. Sure I didn't P rank everything on my first go of it; but soon after I not only felt motivated, but enthusiastic to go back and P rank those stages with my new fun weapons.

Dark Souls 3 is literally one of my favorite games, it's clear that for all it's faults; there was a good bit of care put into the difficulty to match with where the player was expected to be at the time. Even with it's branching paths I never felt underleveled for a boss encounter. Bosses didn't have over the top wild combos that they could switch up on the fly; or ridiculous AoE spam that comes out exclusively in the last 10% of the fight. They were just balanced, challenging, entertaining fights.

I think the major problem people fall into with "Difficulty Is Fun" type games is that devs fail to understand who they're making the game for and when they're making the game for them.

Again going back to ULTRAKILL here, because it's a GREAT example of how a difficulty is fun game can be done right.

See the game starts very slow with a firm understanding of your basic weapons leaving you to figure out how to parry fairly early on and use it alongside your guns without thinking of it as something that's difficult to pull off. It's not this high risk high reward thing, it's just another tool in your kit.

But the dev/devs clearly understands this game is made for the Difficulty Is Fun crowd; so they don't just give us a difficulty option for the game; they additionally make sure the difficulty ramps slowly.

Throughout the first half of the game you're more than allowed to get used to how things work before being expected to use them well; and when you clearly have more experience and confidence with the game it begins throwing harder stuff your way.

But you know what's cool? The ultra-hard content that's made for the dick measuring contest elitists? That's locked behind getting Perfect rank on all the stages in an act; doing so unlocks the super hard boss mode stages and if you beat all of those you unlock the like ultra-hard masochist gauntlet stage.

Did I mention you can do this on any difficulty? Or that different difficulties actually change up how the game plays? With easier difficulties allowing you to counter your way through the whole fight but at Violent and higher you can't parry throughout the second phase? This means if I enjoy getting into the thick of it and scrapping by on 1 HP and a dream, I totally can; but my friend who wants a stress free fun time with the game can actually experience all the same content on an easier mode and guess what; we're both happy?

Like I'm sorry I'm not saying every game needs to have an easy mode; that's an argument in a totally different ball park. This isn't about "easy mode" because that's not what I want from games. I don't want my Difficulty Is Fun game to have an easy mode; I just want it to be fair and enjoyable.

People shit on Dark Souls 2 for a lot of stuff, but you know the one thing that has always bothered me?

There's this really pretentious achievement you get the first time you die, it's literally titled "This is Dark Souls" and you know why that bothers me?

Every SINGLE time I see someone unlock that the reaction is roughly "oh no, I'm not going to enjoy this game am I..." Which all the "hardcore Souls fans" laugh at and say "yea get ready to die for 40 hours lololol"

I'm sorry but like, that's the dumbest shit I've ever seen; go wank off to difficulty somewhere else. Did you hear what they fucking said? They're not going to ENJOY the game they paid for? What's the point of doing the thing that's supposed to be entertaining if they're not entertained?!

Are these games meant to be "rage games"? No that would seem almost insulting to call them that.

Why do I like Dark Souls 3? Because the game doesn't feel like it's looking down on you, the whole game is designed to cheer you on, to coach you. Every time you get knocked down the game is telling you "get back in there champ you got it this time." If you're not sure what I mean I should likely explain it like this,

I once watched a playthrough in which one person had never played Dark Souls and the other was a veteran player. The vet was a sort of coach to point out things about the game the newbie was likely missing.

The first boss encounter was pretty scrappy but whenever he's die the vet would ask him "did you see what happened there?" Essentially talking him through like "you dodged right but he's right handed so you dodged into the swing, try sicking by our left, his right; and dodge under his weapon instead." Or he'd explain things like attack opportunity and such. The idea of their turn and your turn, the enemy attacks; and then during their recovery you get to do an action as a reward for actually dodging the attack. This lets you heal, attack, or set up something for the fight. It's a classic back and forth that leads to players being able to play in different ways and not just build for Poise, Vigor, and Strength so they can play the most boring character known to man.

It's cool to watch because having someone there to point things out is a great way to show how a veteran vs a newbie is going to view the game. If you've played a lot of Souls before, or you've played the game longer you're likely going to pick up on the ways the game is trying to hint at you to do something.

I recently did a Dark Souls 1 stream in which I literally beat the first boss with the broken straight sword and doing so was a way for me to sorta showcase how. No the game isn't about DIFFICULTY; it's about understanding. I know that's a big meme in the souls community but I'm serious you know, if you learn the attack patterns (which they don't constantly switch up), you figure out what animations are tied to which AoEs and which attacks; and you focus your efforts on dodging those attacks and learning their timing. Now you know where your chance to hit the enemy is, you know how long you have, you can learn and gauge how you need to weave in and out of range.

There's this constant "git gud" saying that I really hate, because on one hand that explains nothing; on the other hand it's absolutely true. However when you tell a new player or even an existing player to "git gud" they're not going to know what that means, they're not going to actually take that to mean:

If you feel squishy, throw some levels into Vigor.

If you're rolling to slow, take off some gear; you won't need the defense when you learn the attack timing well enough to dodge it better; the extended i-frames will help you dodge more.

Take a moment to study the bosses movements so you know where your chance to attack comes in and roughly how long you'll have when it does come up.

Remember how scaling works, dumping 30 points into STR isn't going to do as much as upgrading your weapon to scale better. You can dump those points into Vigor and then throw a few points at whichever damage stat your weapon scales with and still deal considerable damage.

Use your estus early, if you heal for 50 HP with each estus, and you have 10 estus. With a total health of 100, you have effectively 600 health. If an enemy hits you for say, 30 damage; that looks scary, that can 2 shot you right now; but if you actually use your estus liberally you'll realize the boss needs to hit you closer to 20 times. As long as you're healing you have plenty of mistakes you can make.

When I say that games aren't made with fun or entertainment in mind anymore; and they're made to circle jerk the other top players and elitists of a community. I'm not just talking about how hard a game is to beat. I'm talking about nerfs made exclusively for PvP that effect the vast majority of PvE players who will never touch PvP. I'm talking about nerfs made to weapons that could help struggling players with specific bosses because they happened to pay attention to how damage resistance/weaknesses worked.

I'm even talking about how Elden Ring is a so called "Open World" game that refuses to tell the player the recommended level for an area. Meaning it's very much still a linear experience, just with more steps. You're not playing an Open World game, you're playing a Linear game with extra steps and longer walks between quest NPCs.

Okay so you start in Limgrave, cool; most the world isn't accessible to you until you beat some bosses; other parts are totally accessible to you, let's explore some of those first right?

Now if we assume you're a common everyday player, maybe new to Souls games because you've been hearing all the Elden Ring hype and want to try it out. You're probably not good enough to immediately go and fight the first real boss of the game. You're also likely not going south, because the game doesn't point you in that direction.

In fact, one of the early game paths leads straight into a level 60 area. How would you know this? Surely the game has some form of a warning right? Like you know, maybe an NPC along the most common path that will tell you that you're not ready yet. Maybe a message left at a grace warning of powerful enemies ahead; this isn't uncommon for Souls Games having little messages around to clue the player into things.

But no, it doesn't; it just lets you go in and attack something and see you're dealing no damage and then when you inevitably get 1 shot you go "guess I'm not supposed to be here" right?

Well no.

Remember, This Is Dark Souls, you're gonna die fucker; you better get back in there and keep trying until you get it, because THIS IS DARK SOULS.

That's when they inevitably get fed up and if they're smart, they go somewhere else. So let's say you try to skip over the first remembrance boss of the game; you finally got passed Margit. You do not want to have to fight another big boss right now. You just want to explore the open world, maybe get a few levels; see the sights.

Well I hope you're already level... 40-50?

See this?

This is the wiki's recommended level per area, do you notice anything about it? A sort of linearity? Now you might not at first, you might say "but Cryptid there's multiple areas with the SAME recommended levels!" Sure there are, and accessing those areas may require you to beat a boss in another area, or travel through an area to get to that one. In other words; it's still a linear path, and while more than one of these is accessible to you. If you're not already a vet who might have over-leveled or who may be skilled enough to fight enemies significantly higher level than you; then it's possible to go from say Liurnia of the Lakes to Siofra Aquaduct and get your ass handed to you.

That's all well and good but the issue here is that it creates a sort of metronome of frustration.

When you know where the game wants you to go, and you're on par with it's damage output and such; you feel fairly confident even when the game does some genuinely bullshit AoE spam. However when you ping-pong between higher level (but technically "accessible") areas getting killed repeatedly and always having that core philosophy of "this is Dark Souls stupid, get used to it" in the back of your head where you can't tell if this is the intended path or not because sure it's hard but, and say it with me now; This Is Dark Souls.

You might be thinking "but Cryptid, even the cult classic Fallout New Vegas does this!" Which is wrong, they do in fact use high level enemies to dissuade the player from attempting specific paths and essentially railroad them into the intended route. However, there is one key difference; the fallout community doesn't pride itself on the difficulty of their games. The fallout community doesn't use the saying "git gud" in place of real advice. The fallout community is very open about cheese, breaking the game; and how this is a fun and acceptable thing to do. Not that if you cheese a fight or make something easier for yourself you're somehow "playing the game wrong."

So more often than not, if the player encounters a field of 50 Deathclaws they think "yea I'm not meant to be here yet" and move on. With many NPCs telling the player safer routes, the player actually not only has options if they want to leave, but actually knows where to go to progress as intended. They're still allowed to try to break that progression and do things their own way but you can't say they weren't literally warned by the in game system designed to make sure they understood the difficulty of what they were undertaking.

Dark Souls 1 and 3 feel like flawed, but enjoyable games; If I found myself frustrated with them; it was often because I was frustrated with myself for making the same mistake multiple times when both I and the game had been telling me not to do that again.

Elden Ring felt like a hot mess until I started paying more attention to things like recommended levels. Then it felt like a bit less of a still hot mess because I'm sorry but that's what it is.

Now I'm on the DLC and I hate that every time I get into a boss fight I begin to enjoy myself; I think you know, it's fun it's cool this feels fair but challenging. Then in the last like 10 - 25% of the HP bar they have to pull out some extremely spamming AoE that locks you into multi-hit and can 1 shot your entire health bar; or heal them for their entire health bar; or both!

Which you know, if I was a squishy glass cannon build or something then I wouldn't really complain. But I'm not, I'm literally playing the boring Vigor Poise Endurance heavy armor fucking bleed build ass piece of shit mimic tear summoning HP talisman + defense talisman build. I'm still getting consistently through most of the boss fight and then suffering because there's some cheap shit they pull out last minute to ruin the fun.

It's still impossible to know if you're on par with the area you're in, I don't want to look up a guide; sometimes everything leading up to a boss feels really solid; I dish out as much as I take; I'm feeling good about it. I go into the boss room, nope 1 shot. What, is the point?

Okay so now do I throw myself into the brick wall 40 more times or do I go grind? Or do I explore somewhere else? I don't know man I think I'll do the first because I got pretty close that time. Oh wait no I didn't not this time because I didn't really get to learn any of the moves. My camera is a mess, sometimes they can hit through walls, sometimes their hitbox extends outside their actual model; and sometimes they have a multi-hit AoE that launches so if you even get hit by 1 part of it then you're hit by the whole thing. Hope you somehow knew what this boss was and already preemptively built resistances to it or else you're not going to have fun dying to the last 5% of the HP bar repeatedly because oh yea it can still do other attacks while doing the bit multi-hit AoE bullshit. Fuck off.

I hate the feeling of "this is a fun boss fight I'm actually enjoying this; that's pretty solid I feel like I'm enjoying this game again." Being met with "oh no can't have that; let's throw some absolutely bullshit mechanic at the last 5 seconds to make sure you're here for 3 hours longer than you should be."

Look if I were particularly bad at these games I'd honestly shrug it off, but I'm not. I'm sorry if you think I'm fucking arrogant; I can't sit here and justify my confidence to you; if you think I'm arrogant there's no telling you otherwise. The truth is I used to speedrun DS3, I've done full no-hit runs of DS1 for fun; I actively enjoy getting P ranks on the fucking Prime levels of ULTRAKILL on Violent and fucking Brutal difficulty.

Not only am I actually good at "difficult is fun" games; but I genuinely enjoy them for it. I've not had a single boss fight in the DLC where I've won and still been excited about it. It's always a "fucking finally done with that bullshit" never a "WOO YEA BABY" is that what you want your players to experience?

There's absolutely a sort of bell curve in my opinion when it comes to the enjoyment of Difficulty Is Fun type games; they're the sort of thing you likely will be frustrated with a lot up front; but then as you spend more time with the fight you're going to learn it's mechanics and it's attack timing. So you begin to enjoy the flow of the game, you get into the sort of groove for when you can attack and when you need to dodge; or when you need to do a specific thing; or swap to a specific weapon. It all starts to come together in this kind of fun exciting back and forth between the game and you. However that runs out after maybe 15 - 30 minutes; now you've hit the point where you're confidence is so high that you don't feel like "you CAN do this" you feel like "you should have ALREADY done this 5 attempts ago." Your understanding of the attacks isn't "oh wow I should dodge INTO this one and AWAY from that one!" Now it's just "ugh right it's this one, god I'm fucking stupid I should be able to dodge that by now- oh right, cool yea fuck it go on do the fucking unavoidable chin move right right okay I don't get a turn to attack..." You don't celebrate a victory, you sigh in relief of it being done and over with.

I don't know about you, but I'm really sick of how especially in the souls community, if you dare to say something is bad and you've not beat it on your first try and mentioned how easy it is. You're ignored, told you're just salty; told to git gud, told to go play a different game if you don't like it. Now look where we are, FromSoft acts like the worst of the community, they refuse to let their game be accessible to the common average player. You pay $40 to get mad, frustrated, and give up repeatedly until you finally overcome the problem and don't even feel happy about it. Congratulations, I hope you "enjoy" your suffering because it's just not a good fucking time.

I remember how many people refunded Elden Ring back when it first game out, and I remember every fucking elitist dick measuring contest participant out here laughing about it. Why? Do you not think those people deserve to enjoy the same fucking game we do?

#Aye well I'm just venting then ain't I? Yo fuckin' know it lads

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juniperhillpatient · 7 months ago

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Baby Firefly for the ask meme :)

Headcanon A: realistic

Baby LOVES her collection of disfigured, dismembered dolls & has backstories & personalities for all of the. You know how little girls play morbid games with Barbie’s? That’s young Baby to the max. Yes obviously she forced her brothers to play with her all the time & she continues to reference the extensive lore as an adult. Otis acts tired of her shit (secretly he finds it sweet) but Tiny openly loves this quirk.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Baby had a few actually lasting flings as a teenager. Obviously, Otis didn’t let this last long ever before killing the boys & girls involved (leading to blow out fights). But Spaulding actually supported it & gave her dating tips. So did Mama.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

I mean… idk girly did canonically lose her entire family except Otis & I guess Foxy although I don’t think she was ever very close with Foxy? I refuse to head canon that Otis dies & also I don’t even think it makes sense after the events of 3 From Hell so as tragic as I’ll go is to head canon Foxy dies shortly after 3 From Hell & Baby & Otis have to have a road side funeral while on the run.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

This is truly tough because I’m not at all sure what I would want that isn’t already canon for my favorite bisexual cat girl serial killer necrophiliac with a codependent relationship with her insane family? Like? She’s a perfect character what more do I want?

Okay… here we go. I do like to think Baby has more of a rich interior than people always give her credit for. She very much in established canon claims she does NOT believe that right & wrong exist but in my opinion we do see contradictions to this especially in 3 From Hell with the friends she makes. I think losing so much of her family changes & softens Baby. No she doesn’t become a caring compassionate person out of nowhere but she does think about who she’s hurting & why a little more following 3 From Hell. This isn’t unrealistic (imo) as much as it is a potentially controversial reading of the story but it’s what I got lol

#baby firefly #thank u omg #I never get to be analytical about my girl & I LOVE talking about the firefly family & especially my fave #asks #ask games #answered #head canons

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nightmare-fredbear · 1 year ago

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how would you rank every fnaf game?

terrible question to ask me because unfortunately me and my tastes are Annoying. all personal opinion. obviously.

not going to include games i didn't play, for the most part. gave little explanations as to why i placed them where i did because i'm annoying. sorry anon

1- fnaf 1 nostalgia blind but i think it has the most solid gameplay loop w/o being overwhelming and i like the general ugly grungy aesthetic. i think it works best in the series as a horror game and has the best atmosphere. i wish freddy himself had more of a presence in-game.

2- fnaf 2 i think the gamplay is honestly cluttered but the game is iconic. i also think it has some of my fav character designs in the whole series. too chaotic to be even remotely scary however. atmosphere kinda sucks. i think seeing the animatronics down the hall w/ no door fucking rules.

3- fnaf 3 honestly i barely remember the gameplay loop but i remember liking it at the time even if im still of the opinion springtrap should've been a freddy suit. the ending screens still make me a little emotional. i think i am the only person in the world who thinks the phantoms are cool.

4- controversial take. fnaf world look fnaf world is Bad but i am paradoxically endeared to it. i think the designs is cute and im fond of the repetitive gameplay, even if the effects of the game are nauseating and its gameplay is bland. i love to do occasional challenge runs of fnaf world. help me.

5- fnaf 4 i could get into how i feel abt the soft reset of fnaf lore here but i wont. i have trouble processing sound so this game was literally unplayable for me. i found the designs of the animatronics to be over the top to the point of goofiness but i'm endeared to them regardless. mostly higher up bc of nostalgia. nightmare's jumpscare is cool however.

6- ultimate custom night i only played it very briefly but it does what it wants to do just fine so its alright. i don't find the humour very funny but i like hearing some of the voices and i appreciate the concept, i guess.

7- sister location did not like sister location. sorry. the designs are fun though, it was nice to see some humanoid animatronics. this is the point where i jumped ship bc i didnt like the direction the games were going anymore.

8- security breach sorry i lied i didnt play this one but i was exceptionally disappointed with its execution. some of the designs are fun but i am significantly less endeared to its quirks than others. i can at the very least appreciate the actual design of the map and some of the sound work. the clanking footsteps of the animatronics is very satisfying to me for some reason.

i didn't play pizza sim bc i jumped ship at SL so i dont really have any opinions on it other than i predicted porkpatch's existence and i really like him. also didnt play vr bc i don't have access to vr.

#ask #sorry this is so long i loooooooove to not shut the fuck up. ever #please dont take this personally btw dont be weird abt it. just how i feel

0 notes

weaselytedious · 6 months ago

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I've only played Dual Destinies once (a couple of years ago) but I remember really enjoying it!! Some bullet points of things I remember liking a lot:

• Controversial opinion (?) but I prefer the 3D Ace Attorney style over the 2D one! All the character animations are really expressive and fun, and it's only the older characters who don't seem to translate to 3D as smoothly as the ones created for it. The style feels like a noticeable step up from the 2D sprites with their limited frames, and only gets better in Spirit of Justice and later The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles.

• The tone of this game feels unique and it doesn't shy away from trying to freak you out. Finding Apollo lying on the floor in the first case like you usually find a murder victim is genuinely chilling, even though you know he'll be fine. The first case also has a creepy Athena traumatic flashback. And of course there's Athena's entire child covered in blood stuff going on there as well

• Athena!! My girl Athena! I just love her. She slots perfectly into both lawyer and weirdgirl assistant roles and I love her dynamic with Apollo in particular, where it doesn't really matter who's officially taking the case because they're on pretty even footing throughout anyway, and have some great banter.

• Blackquill!! Still one of my favourite prosecutors (up for review when I replay the Apollo Trilogy lol). He seems like he's going to be really stoic and edgy but actually me laugh a lot with his wry and morbid sense of humour, and that part where he just leaves the courtroom to walk away because the testimony was stupid is peak comedy. I love his "SILENCE!" line as a counterpart to Athena being overwhelmed by sound, and his relationship with Athena in general feels unique and touching. This guy has a heart of gold. Also he decided to prosecute an orca, presumably because he thought it'd be funny (and it was)

• Speaking of the orca case, that one was so much fun! They pretty much reused the plot of Turnabout Big Top but actually made it good. Apollo has to just exit stage left at the beginning because he's too normal (rip), leaving nobody around to ground Phoenix and Athena from all the absurdity and the energy is great. Featuring MULTIPLE animated musical numbers!

• I love Apollo and I love Apollo Backstory Number Two. I was surprised at how much the game made me care about the loss of his friend even though we never got to meet him.

• I think this game has the most anime cutscenes we've ever had in an Ace Attorney game (barring Layton), and I enjoyed them a lot. Some of them are really tense, some of them are creepy, some are just funny, and some are the aforementioned whale musical numbers!

• The Mood Matrix is probably the most fun of the three Ace Attorney's gimmicks in the Apollo Trilogy. The music and atmosphere is so good for building tension, especially in the last case and the parts where it overloads

• Do I need to mention that the rest of the music also slaps? It's good in every AA game and this one didn't miss (shoutout to the pursuit theme)

• The Fullbright twist was immensely satisfying for me because I felt SURE that something was off about him as soon as he was introduced, and got more and more suspicious as the game went on. I don't think I've ever felt so much vindication in guessing one of these games' plot twists before. I KNEW HIS VIBES WERE OFF

Overall I understand a lot of people's criticisms of this game and get why they may not like it, and I would agree that it's probably one of the weaker entries to the series. But most of my complaints are about gameplay (like being too easy/obvious and removing investigations outside of specific areas). I personally really enjoyed the characters, music, and story and thought it was a blast to play! It's a really good game!

i'm really craving some aa5 appreciation... do me a favour and reply to or reblog this post with stuff you liked about dual destinies, literally anything at all no matter how small or inconsequential or ridiculous

pretty please 🥺🥺🥺

#writing this made me want to replay it lol #i really need to play the hd apollo trilogy #ace attorney #long post #it's a long post now. sorry

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delicrieux · 4 years ago

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results).

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be.

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children.

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim.

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do.

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point!

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus.

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping.

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex.

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him.

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red.

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!!

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling.

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!”

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out.

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you.

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage.

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her.

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement.

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.”

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader

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therealvinelle · 4 years ago

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Hi, I was reading a post here in Tumblr about how Edward has two gifts, he can hear thoughts and is super fast, so I wonder what is your opinion about this topic?.

Furthermore, what others power might the Volturi's leaders and guards might have?

Edward has one gift, and it’s telepathy. Being fast isn’t a gift.

Strength, speed and even senses is varied among vampires. Some, like Emmett, are on the extreme end, but that doesn’t make Emmett gifted, nor does it mean that the rest are at an equal level. The Cullens have clear variations between them.

Physique appears to play a dominant role in how these variations play out: Alice, who was malnourished and never made it past 4′10″, is the physically weakest of the coven, while Emmett at 6′5″ and a mountain of muscles is the strongest. This is made very clear during the baseball game:

“Emmett was hovering close to third (base), knowing that Alice didn’t have the muscle to outstrip Rosalie’s fielding." (Midnight Sun, chapter The Game)

There’s also the fact that it’s taken for granted that Emmett would be intimidating to other vampires, and he is dismayed when James is more worried about Jasper, who is lean.

I suspect this disparity exists simply because a large frame means more tissue to have blood in. Newborns, animal, and human-eating vampires all having a difference in terms of strength is proof that blood has the final say in a vampire’s prowess, so Emmett being able to contain more of it than Alice and therefore being stronger makes sense to me.

This isn’t the meta for me to get into that, but I don’t think vampires have muscles in the sense we do. Or rather, we can’t know that they do. Renesmée is proof that Edward retains his human DNA, or she would be a clone of Bella. Nahuel is proof that Joham retains a Y-chromosome. Does this mean that vampires have different cell types? Does a vampire’s stone-like skin still contain human DNA? One would think yes - except, if you rip a vampire apart, you get rubble. The parts are all solid. There’s also Carlisle theorizing that vampires digest blood by absorbing it through porous tissue, which makes me wonder why he dismissed his digestive system (my guess: vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra. Carlisle couldn’t have done it on his own, and Aro is the only one mad and curious enough to be down for that). I’m getting off-topic - what I’m saying is, we don’t know how vampires work, meaning I can’t build this meta off of the assumption that they have muscles. I simply can’t know for sure that they do.

The important thing is that a vampire’s physique is a deciding factor in how strong they are.

There’s also Laurent’s warning about James, that he has “unparalleled senses”, meaning some vampires are better at sight, hearing, and smell than others. I can believe that, because we have canon examples of vampires being bad at tracking.

There’s Edward in Port Angeles, who couldn’t track Bella’s, his singer, scent to her location, and (I admit this one is conjecture but it’s so probable that I say it goes) Carlisle’s creator, who after taking care of the mob must have realized he’d bitten one of the humans, meaning a newborn would soon be loose in London. This is punishable by death by the Volturi. The fact that he didn’t return to finish Carlisle off means that he was unable to find him. I remind the audience that Carlisle was bleeding and suffering the effects by a venom intended to paralyze the victim. To put it this way, Carlisle wouldn’t have survived James, or anybody with a trace of tracking competence. By comparison, Carlisle was able to locate a dying Rosalie by the smell of her blood, even though there wouldn’t have been a trail for him to follow, as her body had not been moved.

When it comes to these disparities in strength and speed among the Volturi, I imagine Jane and Alec are the physically weakest members of the guard, and among the slowest. They’re prepubescent, meaning no muscle for them, and their height (a humble 4′8″ and 4′10″) implies very short legs. They’re simply not going to get as far as an adult would, not in the same number of steps. Renata at 5′0″ is another tiny vampire lady who likely isn’t very strong or fast.

That’s not to say I think these physically weaker members of the Volturi guard are necessarily useless in hand-to-hand combat, Alec at least is a boy stuck in a playful age, and the males around him are trained warriors. He’s probably picked up a few things over the years.

As for the others, Aro is described as frail-looking, which hints at him being quite thin. I don’t think he’s weak, if he couldn’t win a fight he wouldn’t be around, but I do think he’s probably below average in terms of strength. Caius I picture as a Harrison Ford type, so of course I’m gonna think he’s a bit burly, but this is me headcanoning and not actually hinted at in canon. Marcus is 19, so I imagine he can only be so strong.

Back to Edward’s speed.

He’s a 6′2″ teen, that’s code for “very long legs”, though I’m actually going to go ahead and posit that he’s not actually that fast. Strap in for this next part:

The guy was a teenager who lay dying for an undisclosed amount of time. The fact that Carlisle had the time to get to know his mother points to a few weeks, at least. And Edward was very ill:

Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. (New Moon, page 21)

Muscles atrophy quickly, never more so than when you’re a teen ravaged by fever, on your deathbed. And as I’ve explained above, I think your physique in life ties directly into your vampiric prowess.

I think Edward is certainly the physically weakest of the male Cullens, quite likely weaker than Rosalie as well, maybe even Esme.

Now, speed is not the same as strength. However, for humans, the two are connected. It’s the muscle fibers in our legs that determine our speed. Basically, type I fibers make an enduring runner, type II fibers make a speed runner. So, assuming that vampires retain their human musculature, one could argue that Edward had a lot of type II in life. However, Carlisle when he was human was able to outrun the mob he was with:

He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. (Twilight, page 158)

Carlisle clearly had a lot of type II fibers, and unlike Edward he was in peak physical condition when he died. He was also an adult who’d had more time to develop musculature, while Edward was a seventeen-year-old. If musculature was a deciding factor, one would think they would at the very least be of equal speed, though realistically Edward should be slower.

So, if it’s not muscles, what is it that makes Edward faster than the others?

It could be a matter of technique. Except, the way Bella describes movement when she wakes up as a vampire, it’s all very automated. Her body knows exactly how to do everything, and executes it without much input from her:

After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.

Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur—but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.

So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively—about a sixteenth of a second later—I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted. (Breaking Dawn, page 251-252)

Growling, crouching - those are all distinctly vampiric, non-human ways to act. Bella didn’t learn this, her body knew it of its own accord. When she later runs, she explains it as happening the same way - she just does it.

The way Bella experiences it, vampiric movement is like a package she downloaded, and that executes her instinctual commands with no need for her to actually know how to do any of this. Her grace is another example of this - Bella Swan may be in charge of her own consciousness, but the venom is entirely in control of her body.

Given these facts, I don’t think it’s technique that makes Edward a better runner than others. His technique is likely similar to everyone else’s. If it isn’t, if technique is what makes the difference, then who is and isn’t fast is an arbitrary process.

With that, we get to my controversial theory about why Edward is the fastest Cullen: he’s not.

Running and being fast is the only thing about vampirism that Edward enjoys. This is for another meta, but Edward is extremely depressed about every single other bit of it. Every aspect of being a vampire torments him.

Except the running. He enjoys all of it, especially being the fastest, so much. And as a newborn, he would have been faster than Carlisle.

But after that, when his newborn strength faded…

I honestly think that Carlisle decided to just slow down a bit when running with him, let Edward have this. It’s no skin of his back, and it makes Edward happy, so why not.

Esme joins the family, and of course she would be down for this. Nothing is more parental, more maternal, than losing at checkers to make your child happy, after all. Could also be she’s not very fast herself, but even if she were then she would downplay it to make Edward feel like Jesse Owens.

Enter Rosalie, who would think it’s completely ridiculous, yes, but she would also recognize this excellent opportunity to call in a big favor from Carlisle later on. There’s also the fact that I think Carlisle has a gift (yes, yes, meta is coming, people) that makes him very persuasive people. And also that for all that Rose gets a lot of bad rep, she is very generous and loves her family, if being fast makes Edward happy then alright.

Emmett is an easy-going guy, he goes along with things. Alice adores Edward and would go along with it. She also has tiny matchstick legs and couldn’t outrun him if she tried. Jasper could not care less.

Bella does get outrun by Edward after waking up, but she also did zero exercise in life (listing this in case musculature matter), had Renesmée devour her from within rendering her emaciated, and then died like a slasher movie murder victim. There’s not a lot of blood in her, and what little blood there is doesn’t have a lot to work with. She does defeat Emmett at arm wrestling, so I’ll concede that. However, there are enough extenuating circumstances surrounding Bella that I think my “Edward isn’t that fast” theory survives his ability to outrun her.

So, I believe Edward is the fast Cullen because Carlisle told a white lie in 1919, no one ever corrected that, and now it’s too late.

#tumblr ate this ask and i had to spend twice as long writing it #i'm dying #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #volturi #alec #twilight vampires #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight #long post #Anonymous #ask #edward speed debacle

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the-dark-abyss · 2 years ago

Text

Mafia 3

Okay so I’m gonna take the L and admit I’ve never played the other 2 games, I just watched the cut-scene movies on YouTube, and while I enjoyed the story and characters of the first 2, when I watched Mafia 3′s it DID something to me. So I actually went out and got the game so I can play it all myself.

First things first, I’m gonna wonder why people seem to hate this game so much until the day I die, sure it’s glitchy but not as bad as any Bethesda glitch I’ve seen and nothing game breaking, more or less just funny stuff like “lol that cop car exploded in the middle of the street. I’m gucci tho.”. I really like the time-period cause I actually like learning about the 60′s in American history because SO MUCH important stuff was set in motion back then. Others seem to not like how it’s nt focused on the Italian Mafia anymore and...sure?? I guess?? I mean they’re still there, you’re allied with some Italians while taking out the bigger Italian crime family (I think they’re mad that the protag is black and it’s an important part of the game tbh) And another complaint I see a lot is the games too repetitive, I think that’s the lamest excuse personally. I played this after I beat Far Cry 6, and honestly? It was NICE! I like being able to sneak and take people down, or just blow up everything! Maybe it’s cause I’m autistic perhaps (ASD gang rise up!) but having a pattern was nice for me, I have a specific way of playing and it was fun. Hell, I’ve beat the game twice already cause it felt nice to play.

I know this game came out in 2016 and I’m way late to the party, I became aware of the Mafia series in 2021 and finally played Mafia 3 in March 2022. And I need to be physically restrained from playing it a third time lol.

Anyways onto the story and characters (SPOILERS BTW)

The story is so 😩👌💦💕 I love crime stories, I love historical fiction (sometimes...), I love seeing racists get CRUSHED, I love the time period, I love the music. It’s just AAHHHH so good!!!

Sure I guess a black Vietnam vet cruising around in 1960′s New Orleans isn't what you’d think when you imagine “American Mafia” but that’s a you problem at this rate, I’m having a great time.

I did like Tommy Angelo, and Vito Scaletta too, but Lincoln Clay is honestly my favorite of the 3 and I wish people looked at him and appreciated him more. Imma say something real controversial here: I know Vito is the fan favorite, he’s unofficially the face of the series now and while I DO LIKE HIM, I think... he makes a better side character in Mafia 3 (also low-key irritated Lincoln gets thrown to the wayside while everyone rushes to Vito). That’s just my personal opinion... also my man aged like milk, how is he 10 years younger than the Irish man dying of liver cancer and yet Burke has his hair color still while Vito looks so chewed up? lmao anyways yeah I do like Vito, when I pick up my kickback from him I always leave saying “Bye Peepaw!!”

Anyways, Lincoln comes back home from Vietnam and is ready to see his adopted family again, Sammy and Ellis Robinson (Father and Brother), Father James Ballard (Raised him in the orphanage before he got adopted and sticks around) and his other friends, Danny Burke and Giorgi Marcano. Without getting too much into it, Giorgi is the son of Sal Marcano, boss of the Marcano Crime Family (Which has power over Sammy Robinson and his Black Mob). Giorgi was friends with Lincoln, Ellis and Danny, but this whole time Sal had him playing the long game of eventually screwing them all over. It ends with Giorgi, Sal and an associate of the Dixie Mafia betraying them all after a job they did together (For Sammy to pay back Sal). Giorgi shoots Lincoln in the head, leaves him for dead, kills Danny, Richie Doucet (Dixie mafia) stabs Ellis to death and Sal shoots Sammy in the back. They burn down Sammy’s bar and in the flames Father James ran in looking for survivors and found Lincoln clinging onto life. Lincoln survives, but he lost his family, friends and was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. And now he’s got the scar to prove it.

This ignites his revenge quest to wipe out the Marcano Crime family, and all the damage they’ve done to him, his community (Delray Hollow) and eventually the mess he’s made for his soon-to-be under bosses. And while he’s doing that he’s sworn to build up a crime family of his own and needs people he can fully trust.

When he’s recovering from the gunshot wound to the head, he tells Father James to call his old friend and contact from Vietnam, Donovan, who is currently working for the C.I.A. He drops everything and shows up willing to help Lincoln with his goal (btw their friendship is so great, it’s so sad Lincoln lost everyone but he’s got Donovan still and the writers did so great with their chemistry *chefs kiss*). While Lincoln’s recovering, Giorgi lets the Dixie Mafia move into Delray Hollow and turn it inside out. Donovan tracks down possible allies for Lincoln to get in touch with by the time he’s recovered.

The Under bosses:

Delray Hollow: Ran by Cassandra and her Haitian mob. (She’s also called the “Voodoo Queen” btw and she runs a Voodoo shop) You meet Cassandra first and it’s a shaky start, Sammy’s Black Mob has been fighting with the Haitians beforehand so she has many reasons to not trust Lincoln, but since then now the Dixie Mafia took over, thanks to the Marcanos and is greatly harming the community with human trafficking and she wants them wiped out and she can’t do it alone. Cassandra has some painful history with the Dixie Mafia and she wants nothing more than to see them all dead.

River Row: Ran by Vito Scaletta and his Italian mob (that's loyal to him at least). After everything that happened in 2nd game, Vito found his way down here and had to work with Sal Marcano as one of his lieutenants, Vito’s miserable and Sal hates him but can;t do anything about it cause Leo Galante put him there. Sal did put Grecco, his nephew, into River Row to mess things up from the inside and make it look like Vito’s fault so Sal can finally have an excuse to put a hit out on him to not anger the Commission. Being screwed over and wanting to get back, Vito agrees to help Lincoln because this is personal for him too.

Point Verdun: Ran by Thomas Burke and his Irish mob. He did have a deal worked out with Marcanos prior, but at some point there was a failed shipment of Burke’s end and that made Sal insert someone else to take over his rackets, Barbieri, who brutally took over a crippled Burke’s leg. And after Danny, his son’s murder, Burke’s been spiraling into alcoholism and constant grief. He wants nothing more than to make Barbieri suffer for what he did to him and for the Marcanos to burn for murdering his son. Which makes him eventually side with Lincoln.

Thoughts and extra on the bosses: They all got folks that work under them as their own lieutenants, Cassandra has Emmanuel Lazare, Vito has Alma Diaz and Burke has his own daughter, Nicki Burke. Unlike the other 2, Lincoln is actually friends with Nicki and they all used to hang out together. She’s mourning the loss of her younger brother and it’s clear there’s some tension between her and her father.

Nicki’s actually a lesbian and comes out to Lincoln, she even has a girlfriend. Burke already kind of knows somehow and does not approve of it, but they still have to work together, so it causes inner personal problems. ALSO SIDENOTE: It was kind of refreshing seeing gay characters in a crime based video game, Nicki is a lesbian, Lincoln is a supportive ally (may or may not be bi/pan himself cause of his response to Nicki after she asks him about his thoughts...) and in one of the DLC’s, there's a side character named Oscar who’s a gay Vietnam vet and Lincoln gives him a job at the renovated Sammy’s bar.

While they may be side characters, I still appreciated it, and because of that dialogue between him and Nicki, it does strongly suggest he might be bisexual, so I’m def taking it and running with it. You can play a bi protag at least and I love my bisexual headcanons.

The Main Antagonists:

Sal Marcano: Sal is the Don of The Marcano Crime family. He does have a pretty interesting history and how he got to where he is now. I won’t deny that, but he’s a master of fucking over people he works with just because they were deemed useless. He did it to Sammy, once Sammy was having problems with the Haitians and short on his kickback, that was his death sentence along with his sons. He was doing it to Burke, who had a shipment go missing and that was a sign he needed an immediate replacement. Working on Vito, who just hated him and was willing to mess up his whole rackets just so he can be allowed to put a hit on him. And let’s not forget his racism at all, he knowingly works with the Southern Union and the Dixie Mafia that do lynchings/hate crimes and specifically target the black folk in New Bordeaux. He keeps using slurs when talking about Lincoln. So...yeah. This dude sucks lol.

Giorgi Marcano: Sal’s only son and the Under boss of the Marcano Crime Family, unlike his dad, he was given his life on a silver platter and is a typical spoiled rich kid with a gun who thinks he owns everyone. Hey may have been Lincoln’s “friend” at one point, but either he was playing a long game or that friendship was truly one sided if he could be fine with shooting him in the head when the time came. (I’m looking at everyone sideways who stan him btw). He worked with Ritchie Doucet, the leader of the Dixie Mafia and let them take over Delray Hollow to abuse and traffic folks in the community there after he thought Lincoln was dead. Racist little spoiled brat with access to weapons and a Daddy’s boy. I hate this rat. In his dying breath, he could have tried to make peace with Lincoln and apologize or something, but it was clear he never saw Lincoln like that at all.

YES I AM LOOKING AT PEOPLE SIDEWAYS IF I SEE PEOPLE STAN GIORGI, SHIP HIM WITH LINCOLN OR TRY TO SOFTEN HIM UP IN ANYWAY. I’VE HAD IT, YOU’RE ALL ON A LIST NOW!...anyways. There’s a whole lot of Capos and Lieutenants that work under them but I’m not really gonna get into em all.

There’s other characters and the DLC’s now I can get to instead.

Father James Ballard: Ran the orphanage before it got shut down and has known Lincoln since he was a child. Kind of an Uncle figure. WW2 Vet and kept close to the Robinson’s. Now....why I understand why he doesn't want Lincoln to go down the path he does go down....cause seeing a loved one do that kind of stuff is painful... I also...REAALLLY...don’t like him. A whole family got wiped out, Lincoln lost so much and is scarred from it, the people that did the killings are also ruining the Hollow and making it worse. If Lincoln did just, after healing, decide to listen to Father James and not do anything, things would have been WORSE. The Marcanos would have full control, the Dixie Mafia would have free reign, The Southern Union would have gotten stronger. AND IT’S DOUBLY INFURIATING IN ONE THE DLC’S: THE SIGN OF THE TIMES! Lincoln’s adopted family was killed, Father James knew them, sure they were a mob but they were still individual people who loved and cared for each other. And yet he wants Lincoln to let go of his revenge and just leave. BUT THEN THERE’S THIS CREEPY ASS WHITE SUPREMACIST CULT THAT FUCKS UP A WHITE GIRL WHO’S A COMPLETE STRANGER AND THE JAMES IS LIKE “Okay Lincoln, take them out.” AND IT’S JUST SO-...no diss to the white girl though, Anna, she was a victim and it’s tragic what happens in her story, but idk man. James bothers me.

John Donovan: I already talked about him a little bit, but him and Lincoln met in Vietnam where Lincoln was assigned to work with him on an ops mission for the C.I.A. Lincoln learned a lot, including psychological warfare which he uses against the Marcanos later. They eventually got really close, to the point that John dropped everything and ruined his C.I.A career to work with Lincoln in building his own crime empire. He’s a fun character, he’s very chaotic, and him and Lincoln bounce off each other really well, no wild card/straight man dynamic, they’re both wild cards in their own right. I think the game is trying to frame Father James and Donovan as the Angel and Devil on Lincoln’s shoulders and, like, sure, okay, Father James is like “Don’t do it!” while Donovan is like “LETS FUCKIN GOOO!” and neither character really likes each other. James is priest and John is an atheist so the usual clash there too. I’ve made my thoughts clear on James. Donovan though is just willing to do the most for Lincoln and in a DLC he asks him for his help with his own problems that’s started before they even met. And Lincoln gladly helps him. It’s a real “I’m here for you and I hope when the time comes you’re here for me” kinda friendship. Anyways, despite leaving the C.I.A and becomes involved in criminal organizations, John is dead-set to find out who really organized the JFK assassination and finds that Sal Marcano has ties to politicians and others in the country to he goes off on his own manhunt. It’s a fun time. Good time. Don’t watch live political hearings on TV at the time though cause you might see someone get blasted.

The DLC’s

Sign of the Times: A creepy cult called the “Ensanglante” infests the burned remains of Sammy’s bar and Lincoln and Father James discover this on their way to pay the old place a visit. A young girl runs out terrified and men chase after her. After James takes the girl to a safe place and Lincoln investigates what they were doing in the bar. The learn the girl is named Anna McGee and the cult was doing a ritual in the bar because of the past human suffering in there, the murder of Lincoln’s family. The Ensanglante preforms rituals in places where people have suffered, like old slave market areas, a middle school that burned down, a plantation house etc. It’s run by a woman named Bonnie Harless who indoctrinated Anna into the cult through manipulation and promising she’ll be loved. It just left Anna abused and out of her own mind and miserable. This side story isn't really crime orientated, but it’s taking down a creepy racist cult and it gets really trippy sometimes. In my Father James bit I said a little about this already. Bonnie is a creepy bitch and off her rocker, Anna’s story is so tragic what happens to her. The cult does get wiped out and after that Lincoln meets with his aunt Lily and they restore Sammy’s bar into a functioning club again and as a memorial to Sammy and Ellis.

Faster, Baby!: You go to Sinclair Parish, a sun-down town outside of New Bordeaux that’s run by a corrupt Sheriff “Slim” Beaumont, who wants to keep the town white, even if that means making people who oppose him disappear. There’s civil rights activists who are ran by another of one of Lincoln’s allies in the main game, “The Voice” (Charles Laveau). One of their members who was carrying the evidence that they compiled against was murdered by the sheriff and they need to get it. The Voice’s daughter, Roxy joins and works alongside Lincoln to take down this entire corrupt police force with the help of her friend, M.J, another Vietnam vet who just wants to see his hometown become better. A pretty fun DLC, a lot of car chaos and destruction, brings ACAB to a whole new level. Lincoln and Roxy kinda got a thing going on (I think Lincoln likes girls who bully him lol), and it is pretty cute, especially near the end of the story, Lincoln hears something he really needed to hear to give him comfort and it’s pretty sweet (WELL IT WOULD BE SWEET IF ROXY DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY LEAVE BACK FOR GEORGIA RIGHT AFTER SHE GOT SOME DICK FROM HIM 😭). Not crime focused either, but a lot of fun and with M.J you can actually grow weed and make new strands to actually sell to the districts you take over in the main game. Roxy’s cool, even if it does kinda hurt if I think too much that she just said all the right things to get into Lincoln’s pants but....I’m not gonna judge her either cause he really...👀💦. She’s got a really cool car you get when you beat the story. M.J is cool, Vietnam vet, turned pot smoking/growing, racism fighting hippie. You also get a hippie van from him later when level up the grow operations, and I love me some hippie vans.

Stones Unturned: Donovan calls onto Lincoln for his help once someone from his past starts showing up in New Bordeaux and stirs up some shit. You meet one of Donovan’s old allies, a former C.I.A agent now turned bounty hunter Robert Marshall and he joins in the hunt down for Conner Aldridge. You learn more about John and Connor’s history, they used to work together and be friends but Connor turned his back on America and started feeding intel to the NVA. Eventually John found out and they had a violent falling out. Aldridge’s face got scarred and Donovan’s hand got really messed up. Aldridge’s main goal is to sell information on the U.S to all their enemies, from Vietnam to Cuba. There’s a lot of heavy weapons in this DLC and military grade vehicles. You even leave New Bordeaux to somewhere in Cuba to infiltrate a bunker to get the warhead and hunt down Aldridge. Very much more of a war/action plot than a crime plot, even though I guess John’s brand of shady is better than Connor’s brand of shady (??), still very fun to see more interactions with Lincoln and Donovan. Lincoln even forces him to open up more, that’s how we learn more about Aldridge (I still think he’s hiding more from Lincoln cause that anger felt more visceral...hmm). You first reach Cuba and it’s BEAAUUTTIFULLL, the water is so blue omg it’s so pretty. Robert Marshall is a weird guy, I see why him and John are friends. He’s a little unhinged but over all he’s friendly??in his own weird little way. You actually get bounty hunting missions from, only 3 though, once you’re back in town, and he offers this pretty handy sniping service. Connor as a villain is something alright, not saying he’s a bad character but I do wish there was more information you could have uncovered with Donovan. And he’s pretty nihilistic about the war and America and stuff and as someone who personally is pessimistic about how America is now...uhh...can’t say I blame him. Though selling weapons to people who wanna blast us to the Fallout Universe, that’s not cool. Nooo nope no sir, don’t like that. Anyways, the DLC is a good time. Less of a heavy story than the other 2 which is good cause I don’t wanna feel totally miserable lol

The order in which the DLC’s came out isn't an indicator of a timeline either, there’s no real set timeline in the game. Just the main plot begins during Mardi Gras in 1968, Lincoln needs his time to recover, and the only other indicator is on Anna’s gravestone so I’m assuming at least Sign of the Times is the first one and takes place when Lincoln’s trying to get his under bosses together. That’s a me thing tho, I’m a stickler for timelines and stuff like that.

BUT ANYWAYS I TYPED A LOT SO MUCH OMG I JUST WANTED TO GIVE MY THOUGHTS ON THE GAME AND THE BASIC RUN DOWN OF THE STORY AND CHARACTERS LOL

MAYBE I’LL SHARE MORE HEADCANONS LATER AND SHIZZ CAUSE IT’S SUCH A HYPERFIXATION RIGHT NOW AND EVEN ON MY ART BLOG I MADE SOME FANART K BYE

#mafia 3 #mafia iii #lincoln clay #john donovan #vito scaletta #mafia series #mafia definitive edition #2k games #hangar 13 #video games #thoughts #review #headcanons #rambling #this is my favorite game i wish people loved it as much as i do #also lincoln clay is the only fictional man i've ever turly loved U<U

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mewmewchann · 3 years ago

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Danganronpa tier listttttt

Idk if people know how I feel about these characters, so here ya go! This is my opinion, please don’t attack me for this (also I only did this for the mainline games and Komaru + the Warriors of Hope)

...Also I wanted to go into detail on some of these so yeah Warning: it does get pretty rambly

S tier

...I don’t really feel like I need to explain any of these. MOVING ON

A tier

Chiaki Nanami Please don’t kill me for not putting her in S. I can explain, I promise Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore her and love her relationship with Hajime, but I didn’t really get as attached to her as I did with other characters. I still love her though

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu He has one of the best character arcs in the series, only JUST being outranked by Shuichi. Seriously, best SDR2 survivor, hands DOWN.

Ultimate Imposter Yep. Fake Togami outranks actual Togami by miles. YEAH I SAID IT! Idk, I found them a lot more interesting and likeable than Togami and it was a real shame they got killed off so early. They were pretty fun.

Ryoma Hoshi ...Do I even need to explain why he ranked so high? Like, come ON! He’s one of the most underrated characters in the franchise!

Hajime Hinata 3rd best protag for me (yes I’m counting Kaede shut up), but I still love his arc.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru He was my fave from the first game for a while, but the Kiyondo stuff kinda brought him down for me. And ngl, at times it feels like people only judge him based on his friendship with Mondo. I still love him though.

Mondo Owada Chapter 2. Need I say more. He’s a pretty cool character outside of that, too.

Komaru Naegi Just copy-paste my reason for Ryoma, it’s practically the same.

Nagisa Shingetsu Best Warrior of Hope. Hands down. I will die on this hill.

Kotoko Utsugi Despite being beaten out by Nagisa, I still adore her. She deserves the best.

B tier

Maki Harukawa Okay don’t get me wrong, I like her as a character, but the main problem I had was that her crush on Kaito kinda came out of left field for me. Like, she was a stoic unfeeling assassin and she suddenly fell head over heels for some astronaut that knocked on her door a few times. It feels pretty rushed (though knowing Tsumugi it probably was) and kinda brings her down a few pegs for me.

Korekiyo Shinguji “Why is he ranked so high!? He’s the freaky incest guy-” SHUT UP. Yes, his character was absolutely obliterated by the incest twist, but outside of that he is actually a pretty compelling character. (also if you look into his writing it’s pretty heavily implied that his sister used and abused him so judging him based on the incest thing alone is kinda odd ngl)

Ibuki Mioda She’s pretty fun. I’m not as head-over-heels for her as other people, but she’s pretty fun.

Celestia Ludenberg See, Ouma stans? THIS is how you do a compelling liar character!

Peko Pekoyama Please don’t kill me. It’s just that outside of Fuyuhiko she kinda felt......Eh? Like don’t get me wrong, I like her, but something always felt missing for me.

Nagito Komaeda My favourite antag didn’t even make A tier whoops- Yeah, Nagito is the best rival for me, but I’m not as head-over-heels for him as the rest of the fandom is.

Leon Kuwata PLAY HIS FREE TIME EVENTS.

Kiibo The “that’s robophobic!” joke kinda got old after the billionth time, but other than that he’s fun.

Aoi Asahina Her development is cool, but I don’t really have much to say on her honestly.

Sonia Nevermind Same reason as Aoi, but her relationship with Gundham is pretty cute.

Jataro Kemuri This kid deserves better and needs protection. ...I don’t have much other than that, though.

Monaca Towa This is gonna be controversial, but Monaca is the best villain of the franchise for me. Sure, she’s far from being one of my favourite characters, but she’s menacing and enough of a threat to be a great antagonist.

C tier

Kyoko Kirigiri Please don’t kill me. Like...She’s okay, but for a while I found her kinda......Dull? Idk what to say here.

Makoto Naegi He’s alright, but he’s the weakest protagonist for me.

Tsumugi Shirogane I think people are gonna agree with me the most on this. She’s a decent villain, but the "plainy plainy plain” stuff got REALLY old. (which is partially why I rewrote her entirely in DFTH oops) She’s better than Junko by a long shot, so at least she has that.

Kirumi Tojo She was okay until the nonsensical prime minister twist. Seriously, I detest that twist.

Angie Yonaga ...I don’t really have much to say on her. Like the Atua stuff got pretty old and I found her kinda annoying, but she has enough to put her above the characters I don’t like.

Mahiru Koizumi She kinda felt like a better Tenko, but...Uh...

Teruteru Hanamura Yeah, I don’t outright dislike Teruteru. Shocking, I know. His backstory and the stuff with his mom is charming enough, but the perverted stuff still kinda icks me out. It’s not as bad as Miu’s, though.

Genocider Syo She’s more interesting than Toko, but still not really that much there other than “serial killer that somehow got accepted into this academy but don’t think about that look how quirky she is!!”

Tenko Chabashira Similar to Angie. But the way she drooled over and chased after Himiko was kinda eeeh for me. Not as bad as Souda though, thank god

D tier

Byakuya Togami God, he’s such an asshole. Sure his development and the stuff he does is interesting, but GOD HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

Akane Owari She’s the most “why the hell are you still here” out of the survivors for me. Like, I don’t outright hate her, but a lot of the time it kinda feels to me like she’s only there for fanservice. (seriously, in one of her sprites she’s literally flashing you. Do I need to say anything else?)

Himiko Yumeno Yeah, she’s also pretty weak for me. Her development post chapter 3 was okay I guess, but it kinda felt too little too late.

Toko Fukawa Ugh. Sure, I don’t really like Togami, but the way she drools over him is gross. Sure she’s somewhat redeemed by her development in UDG, but other than that she doesn’t really offer much.

Yasuhiro Hagakure Didn’t really felt like he offered much other than “blatant comic relief who’s probably a stoner”.

Masaru Daimon The weakest out of the Warriors of Hope by a long shot. Sure, his backstory’s pretty sad, but his personality kinda grated on me, ngl.

Kokichi Ouma PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. Like, everyone hails him as the best written character of the series, but if you look closer into his writing it’s actually pretty bad. Not to mention the stans constantly excusing his actions because “uwu liar boy who’s gay for Shuichi” REALLY brings him down.

E tier

Kazuichi Souda He’s literally all the things people hate about Teruteru, but the fandom barely calls him out for it! Hooray!

Miu Iruma She’s basically just there for NSFW jokes. Need I say more. Also, why is no-one else talking about how problematic the maintenance scene was?

Nekomaru Nidai He’s basically just there for shit jokes. And that really got old for me.

Sayaka Maizono OKAY PLEASE PUT YOUR PITCHFORKS DOWN AND HEAR ME OUT! Look, I’m not gonna deny she was kinda cute, but what she pulled in chapter 1 was honestly really fucking snakey. “But she didn’t know about the class trial stuff!” So what? She was willing to use practically the only person in the academy she was close to as a fall guy so she could get away with murder and didn’t even bat an eye! Even if the trial stuff didn’t happen and she DID get away with killing Leon, did she really think everyone would be okay with it? Hell, did she even CONSIDER how Makoto felt!? Sayaka is a fucking snake! She literally USED Makoto!!! WHY IS NO-ONE CALLING HER OUT!?!?

F tier

Junko Enoshima ...Do I even need to explain this.

Mikan Tsumiki I really didn’t like her, even BEFORE chapter 3. Yeah, I said it. She kinda got on my nerves and the fact that they were playing her up for fanservice despite her backstory was really gross, and chapter 3 just made everything so much worse. Like, her getting her memories back and killing someone could’ve worked, JUST MAKE HER PLAN MAKE SENSE!

Hiyoko Saionji She’s just a fucking bully. Do I really need to elaborate?

Hifumi Yamada ...Again. Do I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS!?

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notcorrect-persona5 · 4 years ago

Note

akira for the character ask thing please!

Yes!! I’ve been wanting someone to ask me about Ren or Yu. After typing this though I feel like some of my opinions are kinda controversial 😅

Favorite Thing About Them

This is the question that keeps me from posting these quickly. There are too many things I love about these characters. It’s really hard to pick a favorite thing, so I’ll just talk about one of the many things I love.

Even though we know nothing about his life pre-game and he’s a silent protag, Ren’s still a really unique character while also being a normal, teenage boy. He doesn’t need to be weird or have an intriguing backstory to be interesting. He also feels like he could be a real person. And he’s hilarious.

Least Favorite Thing About Them

He’s mean to Mishima for no reason.

I wish he had more of a backstory. I want to know more about him and his life prior to the game. I think Strikers would have been the best opportunity to give us some more insight on his life, and I was really disappointed when that didn’t happen.

The way some of the fandom sexualizes him is disgusting. He’s a child.

Favorite Line

“I’m not the free labor type.”

brOTP

Ryuji!! They’re friendship is so pure 🥺

OTP

Shumako! I wish they had more fan art, they’re such a cute couple.

nOTP

I understand why people ship Shuake. I do not understand how people can say they’re “basically canon.” They’re not. Also, a lot of Shuake content I see portrays Ren as this super fluffy, sensitive, sweet catboy which is weird and so far from who he is. I think he’s portrayed this way to be a contrast to Akechi. I don’t think you should change a character’s personality just to fit your ship better or to create the ship dynamic that you want. Not all content is like this, but I’ve seen a lot of it. Also, also, Ren caring about his friend’s death doesn’t automatically equal romance. Of course, he was sad that Akechi died. They’re friends. Speaking of, Ren’s dream reality wish wasn’t for Akechi to be alive. People who are currently rejecting dream reality don’t get their wishes. We know this because the wishes of everyone else in the party disappeared when they started rejecting it. We also know that Ren’s wish was to stay in Tokyo forever (which you find out if you accept dream reality). Maruki said he brought Akechi back because he thought it was tragic. He never said Ren wished for it. Even if Ren did wish for it, that wouldn’t automatically equal romance. If my friend died, I would want them to be alive too. I know a lot of Shuake shippers are really defensive of their ship, so if you have the urge to argue with me, please don’t. I don’t have the time or energy to talk in-depth about their relationship.

Random Headcanon

Ren has a light country accent. In the stage play, Ryuji makes fun of the way he says a certain word at the ramen shop. In a manga, a stranger calls him “an idiotic country bumpkin.” The only way that stranger could have known Ren was from the country would be his accent.

Ren’s scared of heights. This is actually implied in the game, but not a lot of people know about it. When he goes to Tokyo Tower with Sumire, two of his responses are “You don’t mind heights?” And “B-But if we fall...” When he goes there with Takemi, he says his ears feel weird and his heart is pounding. She then asks if he’s scared of heights. If you choose to train, Morgana will tell Ren to stand on a chair and one of his dialogue options is, “I’m not good with heights.” He looks miserable on the roller coaster in the animation. At Dometown, Ryuji says he’ll protect Ren on the roller coaster and starts teasing him saying “you better not cry on it.” When asked if he would rather go to Hawaii or LA, Ren can say Leblanc. Ann will then ask if Ren is scared of airplanes.

He is not athletic. Like not in the slightest. Ryuji, Sumire, Takemi, and Kawakami all point this out. In the manga, Ren says he was late due to his “poor physical condition.” Sumire never tells him “good job” after training, she always says “good effort.” In a manga, Yusuke said he wanted to capture suffering then asked Ren to exercise. In Dancing, Ren thinks this while in Makoto’s room, “The weights are labeled 4K...Almost nine pounds. Really!?” While in Akihabara, Ryuji says the exercise machines are really expensive. If the player chooses to say he wants one, Ryuji says even if Ren could afford one, he won’t use it and it’ll just collect dust. Ryuji also tells Ren, “You gotta be more active.” After Takemi says a lot of students have been getting injured due to sports she says, “Well, I guess a kid like you doesn’t have much to worry about that...”

His glasses are real. I know it’s confirmed that his glasses are fake, but I really don’t like that concept. Most people don’t wear glasses, so they won’t help him “blend in.” They’d do the opposite- if they did anything at all. And that “intense gaze” thing doesn’t make much sense either. Have you seen his portraits? His facial expressions hardly change, and he has so much hair you can barely even see his eyes. I also just dislike the “intense gaze” trope in general. I like having a character with glasses who isn’t a nerd, genius, or old. Your eyesight has no impact on your personality, so Ren - who is also the main character btw - needing glasses would be cool.

Since he wears a lot of black and is always with Morgana, he probably has cat hair all over him.

He doesn’t have a big stomach/appetite. He tends to react judgmentally to how much Sumire, Ryuji, and Ann eat. When he was asking around Yongen-Jaya to see if anyone knew Futaba, a man asked if Ren eats a lot, and after you respond the man says “you don’t eat a lot?”

Ren’s a picky eater. Makoto asks Ren if he’s an adventurous eater and his dialogue options are basically no. He says, “yeah, sometimes”, “not really”, and “it depends.” When Jose asks if your tastebuds change as you get older, both of Ren’s responses are no which makes me think he won’t try anything he disliked once, even if it was years ago.

Since he’s from a small town, Ren gets lost a lot. There’s actually a manga where he texts Ann, “I’m lost. Send help.” Ann asks if he’s bad with directions, and he - distressed- says “No...Tokyo just takes a little getting used too...”

Ren’s late pretty often.

Since he’s from a small town, he’s a slower walker than some of the other characters.

He’s terrible with names. He asks for Kamoshida’s name three times, when Kawakami says Niijima wants to speak with you he has the option to ask who that is, the dialogue options for telling Ryuji Mishima’s name, the text bubble never changes from principal and Haru’s fiancé even though the player knows their names, he forgets Arsene’s name in a manga strip, he forgets Eiko’s name, and in Q2 one of his dialogue options is there’s too many names.

Unpopular Opinion

I’ve seen a lot of people complain that Ren didn’t seem to have PTSD after everything that happened in the interrogation room. I’ve also read things like, “There’s no way he doesn’t have PTSD.” That’s not how PTSD works. PTSD doesn’t care what you think “should” or “should not” happen. Traumatic events can trigger PTSD; however, not everyone emerges from trauma with it. Headcanon all you want, but saying it’s wrong that the game didn’t give him PTSD isn’t right.

Song I Associate With Them

Criminal by Brittany Spears

Wildcard by KSHMR

Good Kid from The Lightning Thief the Musical

Make It Up by Sam Tsui (this song also gives me major Percy Jackson vibes)

Still Feel. by Half•Alive

Favorite Picture of Them

I have two!

#asks #not a quote #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #persona 5

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loopy777 · 4 years ago

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RE: WIPs game: Actress Mai. what is she acting in? besides her ongoing starring role as Repressed Perfect Child?

Ah, "Actress Mai." This is a headcanon I keep chipping away at in the hopes that I'll eventually have something I want to publish. I have a whole host of little ideas and scene concepts, but only one actual WIP.

It started with the idea that Zuko and Ursa are theater snobs. Sure, Ursa apparently attended Ember Island Player performances, which Zuko disdained, but my thought is that she took what she could get in terms of live theater with her family even if she agreed with his criticisms. However, I like to headcanon that Mai loves the Ember Island Players, hates classical theater, and generally is the type of person who thinks that Michael Bay movies are great and more people should just turn off their brains and allow themselves to be entertained.

Why?

Well, because character conflict is what makes stories interesting. Zuko gritting his teeth through Mai's praise of how the EIPs finally made "Love Amongst the Dragons" interesting? Gold! Ursa and Mai getting into heated drunken arguments about theater styles? Gold! Mai convincing Kiyi of the good points of the controversial 'Love Amongst the Dragons II: Love Harder' (which is canon to at least two of my Maiko fics) while Zuko and Ursa grit their teeth? Solid gold!

This fun little conflict turned into something more, though. If Ursa and Mai are dark mirrors of each other in terms of theater tastes, then it felt like Mai needed a little acting history to parallel Ursa's own. But Ursa could be a publicly known actress because she was a peasant; such a profession was okay for her. Mai is a noble, though, and an acting job would be seen as beneath her, especially as a woman, as Polite Fire Society knows (or thinks it knows) that 'actress' is really just a polite term for prostitute. This is a takeoff from some real-life history stuff that I first learned of through Sherlock Holmes stories. Apparently, Irene Adler being an 'opera singer' was a thing British readers would recognize as being of a sordid nature.

So I decided that Mai did some secret, illicit acting anonymously during her childhood and teenage years. She stumbled across an opportunity, gave it a try, and found it fulfilling despite the social stigma. She liked being able to project emotions of all kinds in public, while at the same time shielded by masks or makeup or costumes or whatever. She liked being other people, people who find love with their heroes or die tragically to teach everyone a point or villainously ruin everything around them as a force of vengeful nature. It was the only opportunity for expression that she had, as well as a quiet form of rebellion. So for years she snuck out of the capital, down to Harbor City, and acted in all kinds of plays for a troupe that accepted not paying her as a fair trade for keeping her anonymous.

Naturally, moving to Omashu put a crimp on that, and so it ended.

So the idea is that Ursa eventually learns this about Mai after years of their butting heads over theater opinions, sees the parallels and perpendiculars in their lives, and grudgingly comes to respect Mai's completely wrong opinions about theater as at least being informed. And Mai, who is good at acting and does know the classics and would be wasted in the Ember Island Players, helps Ursa out with some plays she writes (still anonymous, although Zuko and Ursa know) even though Mai privately thinks the dialogue is too stilted and the stories kind of cliched.

But I have had trouble beating all of this into a proper story. I want to do flashbacks to Mai on stage, I want to show her conflict with Ursa, I want to reveal how Ty Lee found out and used that to get Mai to accept running away to the circus, I want Zuko's reaction to finding that his wife can recite soliloquies from all the major classics, I want Kiyi becoming an Ember Island Players groupie, etc. It's just missing a plot to hang it all on.

So here's a snippet of one of my attempts to construct something:

Noren grimaced. "Honestly, I was impressed we got enough people to fill out all the parts, never mind understudies. This play-"

"-is important," Ursa finished for him.

He hesitated just a moment before nodding. "And it's important for the same reasons that it was tough to get actors. I'm sure once Zuko sees it and can give it his official approval-"

"But he can't see anything without a Rinzen." Ursa thought about her son out there in the audience, anonymous amidst the 'peasants' of Hira'a. Zuko didn't mind mixing with his people, despite being their Lord, but the only reason he was here, tonight, was because Ursa herself had written the play, and he was a good son who would always support his mother.

Zuko had even brought his friends, including the Avatar. Aang was a delightful young man, and always very nice to Ursa, but she couldn't help but feel trepidation at his presence. After all, Avatar Roku, Ursa's grandfather and Aang's previous life, was a major character in this play, and while the story was based on real events, it was Ursa's hand that had shaped his dialogue and actions. She was putting her thoughts and philosophies, her very heart, out on the stage for public assessment, and this was tricky material. Would it do right by history?

Plus the lead actress was sick, and going by her complaints and the smell of the privy, perhaps dying.

Ursa had to tell herself that her audience, her friends and family and neighbors, wouldn't enjoy this play becoming a disaster. None of them were that bad. This wasn't the Capital. And she wasn't a princess. Not anymore.

So why had she taken it on herself to write this play, to positively dramatize a story of an ancestor who a few years ago was considered a heretic and traitor, to will into being a performance right here in the Fire Nation of a play that featured a heroic Air Nomad character whose actress was currently trapped in the privy?

Because her nation had hurt the world, and she wouldn't leave it to her son alone to do all the work of helping to fix that. That's why.

"Maybe," she ventured, "I could play the part."

Noren frowned. "You? But you're playing the Lady of Glass, and the characters share several scenes."

But Ursa was already analyzing the copy of the script that existed in her mind. "Rinzen has a lot more lines than the glass spirit, and I'm the only one who knows them. And playing a spirit is a lot easier than playing an Air Nomad. A spirit is just a voice, a costume, and some special effects. An Air Nomad character is a performance, and we're fresh out of actresses."

Noren's head tilted from side to side. "We could ask Kiyi. She knows the play by heart. She's a bit young for the part, yes, but-"

"No," Ursa cut him off. "She'd say yes if we asked her, but she hates being on stage. I'm not going to do that to her. I'd rather call off the play and see if our Rinzen is feeling better tomorrow."

Noren blanched at the very thought and made a gesture of good luck. "Well, maybe we can find a new Lady of Glass. And adjust the Rinzen costume. So are you thinking we'll just go on stage and ask the crowd who wants to join the cast, or maybe-"

And then there was a shift behind Noren, the red curtain over the office's doorway being pulled aside to reveal a living shadow. It seemed to Ursa that a chill had entered the room.

Lady Mai, Intended to Fire Lord Zuko, had arrived.

Ursa stiffened as Mai stepped into the office and let the curtain fall back into place. Time and familiarity had not made it any easier to be in a room with her son's lover. She had no real doubts about Mai, no resentment over the early difficulties Zuko that had apparently been overcome, but it was hard to reconcile Azula's shy and dour childhood companion with what existed now. Mai walked around covered with knives, watching everything; she never spoke unless there was an explicit need, but her gaze was always focused and her eyes missed nothing.

And it was in Mai's kind of silent, watchful abyss that Judgement grew. Ursa did not have a good feeling about how Mai likely judged her. How could a child of the Fire Nation's capital, someone who had become strong alongside Azula, a world-class warrior whose last stand for the life of her lover was already the subject of at least one popular poem, have any empathy for Ursa's life or the mistakes she had made?

Mai looked at her with dull eyes. "Is everything okay? The crowd is getting restless, and Zuko was worried. I told him I'd check on things so that he wouldn't miss the beginning of the play."

Ursa hesitated against that flat, low voice, and Noren stepped in to answer, "Our lead actress is sick. Ursa and I were just discussing options. There- uh, there aren't a lot of them."

Mai might as well have been told that dinner was planned to include green sprouts, but they were all out and so the yellow ones would be substituted. "Which part?"

Ursa swallowed. "The Air Nomad girl, Rinzen."

Mai quirked an eyebrow. "The heroine." She was still and silent for a long moment, and then sighed. "Zuko's really been looking forward to this. I guess I can help out. All right, I'll be your Rinzen."

Ursa wasn't quite sure she had heard that right. "You- you want to take the part? But-" Her voice faltered, as all the possible objections swirled through her mind. Mai was, to put it simply, completely lacking in charisma and non-threatening presence. She spoke without emotion. She moved so efficiently that no one in the back of the audience would even notice her. And she was so disinterested in everything that she'd probably nod off in the middle of the performance.

Noren offered a troubled smile. "Thank you for the offer, but acting is harder than it looks. It's not just about going on stage and reciting lines. An actress needs-"

"It's Nomad part, right?" Mai shrugged. "So we want a high, bright voice. Circular gestures. A bounce in all the movements. Here, like this." She stretched out her arms, shook her head, and then-

-and then-

-and then Mai was no longer there. The woman in red and black looked like her, but there was a wide mischievous smile on her face, and her eyes were big and bright. She stepped towards Ursa- no, they weren't mere steps. She kicked her heels high with each one, and the way she shifted her weight flirted with almost being a dance. She held her arms up at her side as she moved, and then when she reached Ursa, swung them dramatically to bring her hands together into a sign of respect.

She bowed, and in a voice that positively rang and filled the room, said, "Are you not the Firebender Avatar, Roku? What a fortunate wind blows to lay my path upon your own!" She rose again, and trotted in a circle around Ursa. "I say, you are taller than I expected, and must be quite heavy. Are you sure you're keeping up with your Airbending, young Avatar?" She raised a hand and held it out to the side.

Noren recovered before Ursa did, realizing what was going on, and quickly found a rag and placed in the waiting hand.

Mai's eyes never left Ursa the whole time, and as soon as the rag was in her grip, she moved again, taking a stance that had clearly been modeled on Avatar Aang's own style, and held the rag out in front of her, dangling it from her fingers and bouncing it in the air.

Mai gave a laugh that was echoed through the little room. "Your beard flutters in my breeze! Come, young Avatar, let's have a spar!"

There was a beat, and Ursa was tempted to deliver Roku's next line in response, but then all at once the younger woman slumped, letting the grandness leak out of her limbs. When she straightened, Mai was back, standing like a blade made of shadow, her face blank and her eyes dull.

Ursa blinked. What had she just witnessed? So many questions swirled in her mind, and she decided to ask the most important of them: "You know all the lines?"

#avatar mai #mai #ursa #avatar ursa

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