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leviskokoro · 4 years ago

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Mari in Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Heartslabyul

Chapter 1

Mari had her first prophetic dream and she’s like owo whats this

It was about Alice seeing the Card soldiers paint the white roses red and shit.

But then, she was awoken by a loud knocking and wonders who it could possibly be at this hour.

Grim and her decided to go down. Though, she tried finding a weapon first, just in case the person turns out to be some murderer or whatever. Manages to find a knife

They went downstairs to the front door and opened it to see who it was. Turns out that it was Ace.

She relaxes and lets her guard down.

Ace: Is that a knife?!

Mari: Yeah, what if you were a murderer?

Grim: Hah! I would’ve taken care of it myself, puny human— Huh?! You got a collar on!

“I ate a tart,” Ace replied, crossing his arms with a scowl on his features.

Mari tilted her head in confusion and curiosity. “A tart?”

He nodded. “I was hungry when I got back to the dorm and I found some tarts inside the fridge. Three whole tarts! So I ate one and it was really good. Then the dorm leader found me eating his tart and was all like “Tart theft is unforgivable! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” and that’s how I got this collar… The end.” He used a shrill and high-pitched voice to imitate his dorm leader’s words.

She couldn’t help but stand in silence at that story, squinting.

“Both of you are in the wrong,” Grim simply remarked with an unamused look on his face. To which the girl nodded in agreement.

“Isn’t sealing away my magic for stealing a tart a bit too far?!” Ace cried out. “For a wizard, it’s like having your arms and legs chained up. And there were three whole tarts, it’s not like he could eat all of them by himself. There’s got to be a limit to how narrow-minded you could be!”

“Which is why you’re both in the wrong,” Mari retorted, “You should’ve asked permission first, but he also shouldn’t be so harsh.”

All he could do was groan at her reply.

Grim’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms. “What if the tarts were for a party? Someone’s birthday, or something. Heh, I’m a genius.” He grinned, sharp teeth glinted in the moonlight.

“Birthday?” Ace asked, placing his hand on the back of his head.

“That might explain why he was so angry,” Mari said, deciding to clean up a little more since she was awake. The two just watched as she did this, not helping because they were little shits.

He huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “I thought you were gonna say he was being tyrannical, prefect.”

She shrugged. “He was certainly being unreasonable, but it’s wrong to steal,” she replied as she took a broom and sweeped the dusty floor.

Grim glared at him, placing his paws on his hips. “You’re at fault for stealing his tart in the first place.”

“There’s a chance he’ll forgive you if you apologised tomorrow,” the brunette girl advised him as she threw away the dust that she swept up. The wood under her feet creaked as she returned.

“Grudges over food are the worst,” her partner remarked, an unamused expression on his face. His bright blue eyes widened in realisation. “Wait! I never got those tuna cans from the Headmaster!”

“Fine. Whatever. All I gotta do is apologise, right?” Ace sighed. He looked at her with a glare. “This is your idea, so you better come with me.”

All she did was nod. She was going with him regardless anyway.

“So, where do I sleep tonight?” He asked, an inquisitive look in his eye.

“You’re actually staying the night?” Grim crossed his arms. “Every room aside from ours is still a mess. Clean a room for yourself.”

He made a face. “Bleh, I don’t wanna.” Then, he turned to Mari with a smile. “Prefect~ Let me sleep in your room. I’m slim, so I won’t take a lot of space.”

“Aight.”

Grim’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at her lax response. “Ffgnaa?! You’re just going to say yes?!”

“I’m used to sharing beds with people.” Mari proceeded to have a flashback to every time the Demon brothers invited themselves to her room and stayed there without really giving her a choice in the matter, as well as every time she had to sleep in the same room as them. Honestly, at least Ace had the decency to ask first.

“Sweet! Thanks, Mari.” Ace flashed her a grin.

After that, they all went to their rooms to sleep. The boy was right, he didn’t take up much space. Plus, the bed was big enough for the two of them. Unfortunately, Ace hogged the sheets. The bastard.

When morning came, so did the loud knocking. This time it was Deuce and he scolded Ace for getting collared.

While heading to class, Grim teased Ace about his collar and not being able to use magic.

Ace will remember that.

They went to the Heartslabyul dorm and Mari is like -surprised pikachu-

She loves it a lot. The hearts and roses were gorgeous. If only she had magic, then she would’ve been sorted into a nice dorm. Ugh.

No matter. She’d just have to work hard to make the Ramshackle dorm shine.

Then they met the e-boy-- I mean, Cater and he was painting the white roses red.

Mari proceeds to have flashbacks to her dream earlier. Huh. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

Dude recognises them as the notorious first years that broke the 10,000,000 madol chandelier so he takes a selfie with them.

He has them paint the roses with him. Grim accidentally sets the roses on fire, Deuce accidentally turns them blue. Turns out it’s a bad idea to ask freshmen that are inexperienced with magic to do your chores.

Ace complained and asked why they’re painting them red. He said that they look pretty as white roses. Mari agreed and expressed that she felt that the natural colors of the roses were fine.

Cater explained that it’s tradition for roses to be red for Unbirthday parties. And that they use flamingos in seven different colors for croquet with hedgehogs as the balls.

Mari wondered if that was safe or ethical. Either way, this dorm was proving to be quite strange for her.

Ace remembered that he was supposed to apologise. Cater asked if he had a tart of apology and he said no.

Cater told him that he can’t let him in the dorm then. The first years tried fighting him but lost and got kicked out.

The bell rang and they had to really rush to Potions class.

Crewel appeared and Mari had a “Oh no he’s hot!” moment. She paid extra close attention to him during class.

Then it was History class. Mari mostly looked at Lucius more than Trein but was also fascinated with learning the history of Twisted Wonderland.

Then PE came around. Mari saw Vargas and was like “Damn he got some tiddies lmao” Then she dies.

Jk. But the 20 laps and 100 pushups were exhausting for her.

It was break time. Ace and Deuce talked about the classes not being too different from regular school. Mari agreed that they were somewhat similar to the classes she had at RAD.

Then they noticed Grim was trying to skip class.

Ace made fun of Mari for losing him and told her that if she wanted his help, then she should buy him a chocolate croissant. Deuce wanted an iced latte.

All it really took for Mari was to give Deuce her best puppy eyes until he agreed to help. Then she said she didn’t want Ace’s help since he didn’t have his magic anyway. This aggravated him into helping her. Heh, suckers.

Turns out she didn’t really need their help anyway since she just scolded Grim into going with her, saying he won’t become a great wizard if he didn’t put effort into his studies.

It was lunchtime and Grim got into trouble with delinquent upperclassmen over food since he bumped into them and the egg broke. One of them said that breaking the egg is the best part about eating carbonara.

Which confused Mari greatly because she loves eating carbonara and has never ever heard of eating egg on it. Perhaps it was normal in Twisted Wonderland too. Heartslabyul was already strange enough.

They got into a fight but won this time and the delinquents ran off, yelling about pasta again.

The first year group started eating and Grim asked what the other dorms are like. Cater popped up next to them, surprising the four of them. Turns out Trey was with him as well.

Cater basically just tried to get all buddy buddy and exchanged numbers.

Mari told him she didn’t have a phone and he offered to go phone shopping with her and called it a date

She was just like “bro im fucking POOR”

Trey told him to chill and they went back on track. Cater started a conversation about the seven dorms.

Time for Mari’s reactions to the other dorms

Heartslabyul - Ew. She doesn’t like overly strict people or environments.

Savanaclaw - Haha, furry jock dorm. Probably found Jack hot since she’s into the strong silent types.

Octavinelle - Sea Witch’s dorm, huh? Does that mean they’re business guys? Oh look, it’s that weird guy from the entrance ceremony that “wanted Riddle’s collar”

Scarabia - The smart ones, according to Trey. There’s the guy who got his butt set on fire during the entrance ceremony and there’s… a really hot guy that’s exactly her type. His hair looked so long and silky and his eyes were mysterious.

Pomefiore -

Grim: there’s a super cute girl over there!

Deuce: A girl besides Mari in an all-boys’ school?!

Mari: Nah that’s a dude

Ace: Eh? How do you know?

Mari: I can see his adam’s apple

Mari, internally: Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur--

So apparently Pomefiore is the “Beauty” dorm and the dorm leader has like five million followers on Magicam. That’s cool, but she’s more interested in their poisons.

Ignihyde - Cater called the students of that dorm introverts. Trey said that they were good with technology. They seemed real neat.

Diasomnia - Powerful and considered celebrities, as well as having an aura that makes them hard to approach. Though, Mari lowkey thought that about everyone except that one guy that got his butt set on fire. He seemed very friendly. Maybe it was her social anxiety talking, maybe they were actually just intimidating. Anyway, Lilia popped up from above and scared them. He basically just said that he’s not a child and that Diasomnia welcomes students from other dorms. So there’s that, at least. Though, this doesn’t do anything to extinguish the intimidating aura from the rest of their students. Then the strange dude left.

Ace started talking shit about Riddle while Mari blankly stared at Riddle who was right behind him. Boi he ded

Riddle then went on with his spiel about rulebreakers. Honestly, Mari pretty much spaced out during this in order not to roll her eyes at him.

Then he left to get two sugars for his lemon tea that the rules state that he’s supposed to drink after a meal.

Trey tries to explain that Riddle’s intentions aren’t bad and that he’s just trying to make the dorm better.

To which Mari replies: “Sometimes it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. If you’re clearly making the people around you unhappy and uncomfortable without actual regard for how they feel, then that’s that.”

And Grim said: “Someone with good intentions doesn’t randomly collar people!”

They laughed, but one could easily tell that it wasn’t genuine.

Then bam, more exposition comes and Cater explains what unique magics are.

Then they start talking about tarts. Mari offered to help make one with Trey and Ace while Deuce and Grim wanted out. They only wanted to help after Trey said they could eat some tart if they helped out.

They started chestnut picking and met Leona who was a fucking bitch because she accidentally stepped on his tail.

Jk. He drinks his respect women juice so he’s not as mean and leaves her with only a warning for the most part.

She and Grim got back to Ace and Deuce, they picked the chestnuts and got back to the Heartslabyul dorm to make that tart.

Trey made his whole joke with the oyster sauce but Mari just looked at him with pure disbelief in her eyes. Then Trey realized he needed more ingredients since they brought too much chestnuts and Deuce and Mari volunteered to buy them from the shop. Grim also said he wanted to come since he was tired of mixing flour.

So they go to the Mystery Shop and get the shit. Mari wonders for a moment if Sam has got anything that could possibly help her get home but then shakes her head, saying she’ll see about that later. They head back to the Heartslabyul dorm but run into trouble, then came the reveal of Deuce’s “Bad Boy” personality. Mari was like -surprised pikachu- while he beat the shit out of the delinquents, silently cheering him on. After that, he got upset because his “honor student” persona was gone. It’s especially bad since he felt that he scared Mari.

Achievement unlocked: Deuce’s Backstory

Grim asked if being an honor student meant that he should just grin and bear everything. Mari agreed and reassured that being an honor student didn’t necessarily mean that he should be a pushover. Then she broke it to him that the eggs were unfertilised and would never hatch. Now it was his turn on the surprised pikachu face.

They bought another set of eggs and went back to the Heartslabyul dorm safe and sound. The tart was finished. Hooray! Though, Deuce was still shocked about the chicks so Mari had to pat his back. They started eating some tarts after Cater came by to check on them. He then brought up Trey’s unique magic.

Trey revealed his unique magic and explained it to them. They were impressed. But once they were done, he told Ace he can’t sleep in Heartslabyul and gave him and Deuce permission to sleep in the Ramshackle Dorm so they did.

Next day. They got to the Unbirthday Party and Ace gave the tart to Riddle.

Riddle is like “Fuck you. The Law of the Queen of Hearts says one must never bring a mont blanc tart to an Unbirthday Party! REEEEEEE” And then Mari wonders how many rules there are. He answers with 810 and that he memorized them since he’s dorm leader. She’s like “Dude, he’s a freshman, he can’t possibly memorize every rule.” To which Riddle countered with “I memorized them on my first day in NRC! If I can do it, then he should be able to as well.”

“Not everyone has to be like you!” She proceeds to have flashbacks to her narcissistic grandmother who always believed that she was right and demanded that everyone be like her. This causes her to dislike him.

“As the dorm leader of Heartslabyul, out of respect to the strictness of the Queen of Hearts, I can’t ignore this violation. Throw the mont blanc and these rulebreakers out!”

Ace started arguing with him as well and the two third years tried to help. Riddle goes on about how he has the highest grades and is the most powerful, which makes him the most correct. This makes Mari’s stomach churn more because of how much he reminds her of her grandmother. Grim says he’s a selfish tyrant who wastes food and ends up getting himself and Deuce collared as well.

Then they get thrown out by the third years and meet Chenya, who gives them a tip to talk to Trey and unlock Riddle’s tragic backstory.

And they did. Because it’s always a good idea to listen to the advice of a strange guy who pops into conversations head-first, literally.

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 1

Mari’s reaction was that she sympathised with him and understood, considering that her grandmother was somewhat similar. However--

“His past is not an excuse for him to be a tyrant. Perhaps that’s harsh of me to say, but I still stand by it. He believes he’s right all the time and fails to notice how miserable the rest of Heartslabyul is.”

Ace put in his two cents and said it was Trey’s fault that he’s like this, dropping a truth bomb on him. Mari agreed and said “Friends help each other to become better people, not allow them to grow worse and worse.” Then he called Trey lame for being afraid of getting his head chopped off.

Crowley pops up like “STFU THIS IS THE LIBRARY YOU LIL SHITS” and they said he was the loudest so he started whispering “stfu you lil shits”

They explained the situation and he suggested moving dorms but Ace was like “but thats a pussy move” so he suggested fighting Riddle to the death for the position of dorm leader. But without the “to the death” part. Ace and Deuce agreed to challenge Riddle. Grim wanted to go too but Crowley said other people from different dorms can’t so he got sad.

Timeskip to the match and it was over in less than 5 seconds. Mari told Riddle that he was wrong but then he started mocking her and her family for barely being able to use magic and having a bad education and then called her completely inadequate. She just looked at him blankly considering that she didn’t particularly care about him insulting her or her parents.

But then Ace punched him for saying that. And Mari was internally like, “I have decided that I love this guy”. Then he went onto this speech about how kids aren’t their parents’ trophies and that it was Riddle’s fault for not making a friend scold him for being a tyrant. He also calls him a baby. But not like the “uwu baby” kinda way, the kind of immature brat kinda way.

Shit hits the fan and Trey finally had enough and used his unique magic to overwrite Riddle’s to remove the magic-sealing collars. Then Riddle fucking overblots.

Mari is definitely surprised. Then noticed the creature behind him to look similar to the beast she and the shared brain cell trio fought in the Dwarves’ Mines. So, she steeled herself and ordered the trio to attack Riddle, especially once Crowley said that he’d lose his life if this went for too long. The third years came to help as well while their Headmaster evacuated the other students.

And they beat the shit out of Riddle. Then Mari kinda spaces out again and has this vision of Riddle’s past. This wasn’t the first time she has seen a vision of someone else’s past, but it still confused her. She wasn’t in the Devildom anymore, and she didn’t have magic.

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 2

Then she’s shaken back to earth by Ace and he’s like “Oi, don’t space out now, dumbass.” “Did you see that?” “See that Riddle overblotted? How could I not?!” “Nevermind”

Riddle is crying and she feels bad so she rubs his back. Her motherly instincts get the better of her at this point. He’s surprised at how she’s treating him, considering the only female figure he had in his life was his mother who was strict and harsh. When Ace started yelling at him, she scolded him and told him to yell at him later.

“Ace, cut him some slack. You can yell at him when he’s recovered. He almost died ffs” “SO DID WE”

Then he told Riddle to do the Revenge Unbirthday Party. Riddle agreed before Mari and Crowley decided to take him to the infirmary. Since she was gone, Grim got to eat the black rock again.

While Riddle was recovering from blot, Mari took it upon herself to help him out. He appreciated it a lot.

After the Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari thought about her experience so far. The strange dreams, the overblot, the vision.

Then she remembered something. Before leaving the Devildom, Barbatos pulled her aside and had a talk with her. He held her hand and a faint glow emitted from it before he let her go. “A fragment of my power,” he said. But she didn’t understand what he meant.

When she slept that night, she saw Belphie and nearly cried because she missed him. Then she explained what happened to her and that she was in Twisted Wonderland. He told her that he’ll inform the others so that they can find a way to get her back, and that she should hang on in the meantime.

And so she did, unaware that her adventure just begun.

#twisted wonderland #twst #riddle rosehearts #ace trappola #deuce spade #trey clover #cater diamond #kokoro writes

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''somebody told me'' by motionless in white

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wheremytwinwatches · 5 years ago

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 9

Hey, no narrator explaining the Alchemy basics this time, just straight into the intro song? Last time, the Elrics broke into the Fifth Lab, encountered two Soul Armors, and Pudgy the Jerk made Al wonder about his free will. Here’s hoping that we fix these worries this episode.

Episode 09 - “Created Feelings” Annoyed Ed is Annoyed, scowling in his hospital bed. Ross and Brosh try to stay positive, but have to admit to Ed that the Lab’s kinda gone the same way as the library. And Ed can’t even get properly mad about that, he’s so beat up. So close to finding out the truth… Wait, what are you two apologizing for? If anything Ed’s the one who should be apologizing for running- OH! Ed done just got slapped by Ross, who’s calling him a selfish child, who doesn’t have to do everything by himself. Thanks for knocking some sense into the boy, Ross! Ross and Brosh maintain their professional demeanor (did they rehearse this earlier, their performance is spot on), right up until Ed admits he had it coming and they collapse in relief. Oh hey, explanation that SA’s are equivalent to major, like you guys said. Ed lets them know they don’t have to act so professional around him. Um, but maybe a bit more professional than that? Where’s Al in all this? He got his lecture earlier (and Brosh was the attempted slapper). And speaking of lectures… Uh oh. Ed’s gotta call Winry, tell her that his arm’s busted already. Immediately she remembers that loose screw. Whoops! Still ticked off that Ed got in another fight, but she recovers quickly and makes plans to head for Central. [Brosh]: “Aw, was that your girlfriend?” [Ed]: “My girlfriend? No way!” Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, buddy. Brosh wheels Ed back to the room since Ed’s busted up his stomach injury again, idly trying to talk girls with Annoyed Ed. Oh hey, there’s Al! Whatcha doing in the dark, buddy? Ugh, Al’s still brooding over what Pudgy said. And in a moment of cosmic irony, some kid’s robot toy walks right into him. Seeing an example of what we know he used to be, and what Pudgy said that he is… Damn it. I don’t wanna consider it. But do we know for sure that Pudgy’s wrong? I mean, we saw kid-Alphonse up until he was consumed in the Human Transmutation. And we’ve seen other examples of Soul Armor with Pompous and Pudgy. But do we know for sure that there was continuation of consciousness? You have to admit, it’s possible that Soul Armors create an impression of a person, formulate an identity based on the thoughts of the binder. Al’s thinking of his little brother when he does the binding, and the resulting suit of armor acts like his brother used to. The executioners think about the murderers that they are hanging, and that carries over to the new guards. We haven’t even had a non-Armor perspective of Al, even. I just can’t discount the possibility. At the train station, Winry’s complaining about the seats, wondering how Ed and Al can take so many trips. Looking around the West Exit, she should see someone she recogni- oh hey Armstrong! That was easy enough. But she’s still looking around? Uh oh. She doesn’t understand why the Elric Brothers aren’t there as well. Now Winry’s freaking out at the hospital, staring at the heavily-bandaged Ed even as he snarks that she’ll probably charge him an express service fee. To which she says she won’t charge anything, she didn’t do a good enough job last time? Woof. While she mopes, the others look pointedly at Ed, who starts frantically insisting it’s not her fault. Winry realizes that Ed never noticed the missing screw, really thinks that it’s all his fault. So she’s off the hook! What a relief, now she can treat him like normal! Cue her setting out express fee, chiding him for not drinking his milk, Ed whining that he doesn’t wanna, The Mighty Armstrong being VERY DISPLEASED with Ed’s attitude - yay, we’re back to happy times! But Al was looking through the door, just closed it and walked away. Boo, give me back my happy times! As Winry works on the arm, Ed talks about how Al’s been acting odd lately (Winry takes the opportunity to sneak the missing screw into the repairs). Al’s back in the Shadowed Hallway, looking into a mirror, shattering a mirror with barely any effort.

Repairs are done, Ed’s thanking Winry for the work- Sudden Civilian-dress!Hughes! [Hughes]: “Yo, Ed, my boy! Is it true that you brought a pretty blonde girl into your room to service you?” [Ed]: “*faceplant* She’s my automail mechanic that’s all! Nothing more!” [Hughes]: “Oh… I see. You’ve seduced your mechanic, have you?” Oh jeez. Hope you’re good at dodging, Hughes. I’m pretty sure Winry has a wrench with your name on it. Or rather he’ll just enthusiastically shake her hand. And Ed can’t just tell him to go do his work, he pushed it all off to poor Sheska. But good news, Ed and Al shouldn’t have to be under guard too much longer!... Winry is not to pleased to hear about this “bodyguard” business. Did you seriously not explain how your arm got obliterated before? Nope, he didn’t tell her then, and his stubborn attitude means all he’ll say now is that it “doesn’t concern her”. Jeez, Ed. You don’t make it easy to be your friend. Winry packs up and says that she’ll see him tomorrow, she’s got to find someplace to stay for the night. Oh hey, a new houseguest for Hughes! Brace yourself for photo-albums, Winry. Actually, forget photo albums! How about a whole birthday party for Elicia! (Dang, should have seen this episode yesterday). Congrats on three years! Oh my Leto, the whole “I’m two….. No, I’m three!” is stupidly adorable. NO WAIT even the Narrator just chuckled when doing the halfway “Fullmetal Alchemist” cards! Hurk!

Later that night, Winry’s talking about how she’s known the Elric Brothers for a long time, they’re like her brothers (well, maybe Al. NO I WILL NOT LET THIS SHIP GO). But they don’t talk to her, even when it’s clear things are bothering them. Hughes talks about how guys try to talk through actions rather than words, try not to burden others with their pain. But when a time comes that they do ask for help, Hughes knows that Winry will be there for them. As they finish talking, we get a sweet scene of some little boys asking to play with Elicia… and then arguing about who she wants to play with. Aw, quite the heartbreaker alre- Hughes put the gun down! Quieter actions Hughes, quieter actions! Next morning, Winry’s saying her goodbyes even as the family extend their hospitality. Elicia even huuuuuuurk nope nope too cute, clutching Winry’s sleeve. Hughes remarks that they could be sisters- [Elicia]: “Sissy! Be safe, ok? And come back and visit me real soon!”

At the hospital, Ed is shocked... to encounter milk with his food again. Al tries getting him to drink it, saying that he has “a living body that needs nourishment” (still thinking about Pudgy). Ed just offhandedly remarks that he won’t do it if he doesn’t want to, that he has grown some even if others, like Hughes and Winry who are arriving, keep calling him pipsqueak. [Ed]: “I wish I was like you, Al. You’ve got such a big body now.” [Al]: ”It’s not like I asked for this body, brother!” Oh jeez. It’s coming to a head. Ed starts apologizing, saying that he’ll get Al back in his real body soon. But Al’s not having any of it, yelling that Ed always says that, that he can’t believe anything when he’s stuck in this body, that memories are just scraps of information that can be made up as easily as anything else. Al thinks he knows now what Ed was afraid to tell him. That Al’s soul and memories are artificial constructions that Ed created. Ed slams his hands on the table. Then asks if Al’s finished talking. Then quietly gets up and walks out of the room. Al… Ed… WINRY! Hoo boy, Winry is pissed, smacking Al around with her wrench. I mean, Al did just accuse her, Granny, and Ed of lying to him. Oh. But she’s not upset about that. She’s upset because she knows what Ed was going to say: That he wanted to ask Al if he blames him for what happened to his body. Flashback to injured Ed at the Rockbell’s crying that Al lost his body, it’s all his fault. Al can’t eat, sleep, feel… how could he forgive the one who was supposed to protect him? Granny insists that Al doesn’t feel that way, that if Ed just asks he’ll know the truth. But Ed’s too afraid. Winry keeps striking Al, crying that even as Ed harbored those doubts, Al came and accused him of creating a fake brother just to control. And Winry ask who could do something like that, risk their life to create a fake brother. … That depends, Winry. To create a puppet? No one. To try and bring back what was lost, even if was ‘fake’? … moving on. For now, Winry orders Al to go after his brother. Up on the roof, Ed’s leaning on the railing, Al standing in the doorway. He goes to speak, but Ed cuts him off. [Ed]: “You know somethin', Al… We haven’t had a good fight in a while. I’m starting to get flabby.” The slippers come off. Ed charges, kicking and punching even as Al tells him to stop, that his wounds aren’t healed enough for a spar. Then, sheet to the face! While Al’s blinded, Ed knocks him down, declaring that he’s won. Hey, this would be the first match he’s ever beaten Al in, right? Even though Al argues that it wasn’t a fair fight. Heh. Ed reminisces on how they’ve fought since they were little, over some very stupid things. Like who got the top and bottom bunks? Um excuse you, who gets the top bunk is not stupid thank you very much. And don’t get me started on candy or toys. I’ve had to defend my stuff against a twin and a little brother, that is srus bizness!

[Al]: “We even fought over which one of us would marry Winry someday.” [Ed, panicked]: “What?! I don’t remember that one!” [Al]: “I won the fight… but she shot me down.” [Ed, nonchalant]: “Oh… did she?” Ed challenges Al to discount all those memories as lies, or his determination to regain his body. They’re in this together, remember? They’ll make themselves stronger, faster and better until they get their bodies back. Even if it means they have to drink the dreaded milk. *shudder* As the brothers fist-bump, Hughes and Winry look on from the doorway. (Please, please tell me she heard about their previous fights). Winry remarks that one doesn’t have to always hear something out loud, but it is helpful sometimes. Now, to put Ed back to bed and get some proper rest! [Strong Winds]? Heat-wave desert with a white flag? Oh hey, it’s Scar! [Scar]: “My brother…” Wait. What? Scar has a brother? Oh good grief. First we get the Slicer brothers, now we learn that Scar has/had a brother too?! I swear, and I thought RWBY was bad with sisters. Well anyways, not just his brother, Scar mentions his Master too, saying they’re all gone. Aftermath of the genocide? Sudden intruder! Hey, it’s Smiley/Kimblee, that guy who’s in jail now. He identifies himself as a State Alchemist send to exterminate the sector. He Transmutes from circles drawn on his hands- Scar wakes up, bandaged and under a blanket. A small red-eyed boy cheerfully notes he’s awake, and an older white-haired man tells Scar that he’s in a slum outside East City. Guessing they’re all Ishvalan? Little Kid says that Scar shouldn’t move, they found him floating in the sewers badly injured. Remembering his fight with the Goths, Scar asks if he still has his right arm and oh my gosh are you serious? We’ve already got the brother parallels, you really gonna make him lose an arm to be a more blatant counterpart to Ed? Oh, nevermind, he’s still got it. Lots of tattoos… gift from his family? Post-credits! [Narrator]: “A good friend became a comrade in arms, and over time his presence was taken for granted.” ...wait, what? “Although the future they once dreamed of became bleaker than they had ever imagined, this good friend was always there by his side, where he belonged.” Show. Show, no. NO. Stop implying what I think you’re implying! “Next time, on Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood-” OH SWEET LETO NO NO NO THAT WAS LUST’S SILHOUETTE NO NO NO Episode 10 - “Separate Destinations” “A friend whose presence comes as naturally as breathing can never be replaced.” NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranubis #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 9

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double-danganronpa-lost-faith · 6 years ago

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DDR:LF Progress Log

Hi everyone! Welcome to the first progress log.

It’s a post where I put all the things I’ve done for the fanganronpa so far that I haven’t posted anywhere; most of them are WIPs or Betas. It also works for me as a way to keep track of how far I’ve come.

Today’s post contains the following:

Character Bios (previously only available in the DR amino) and FAQ

4 WIPs of important CGs (well... more like 2)

3 Different types of Animation Tests

WIP/Beta of the GUI Design

Next objectives

If you’re interested in checking this post, keep reading it down below!

By the way, feel free to join the fangan’s discord server by going to this link https://discordapp.com/invite/aSd6PN4 ^^ with that being said, let’s begin the post~!

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Character Bios and FAQ

To start this blog AND this post on a right note, I’m finally posting on tumblr the character bios, which means you can now access to the information from each member of the cast of DDR:LF, which was previously only available in amino. You can find them in this post.

As for the other part, I wrote a FAQ with the main sort of questions there could be about the fangan. Feel free to give it a read here if you want to know about some basic stuff about the project, and if you still have doubts, please do send an ask! I’ll gladly answer it ^^

WIPs of CGs

You didn’t think that the only drawing I was working on were sprites, right?

In today’s post, here are some CGs WIPs that I didn’t get around to finish yet (since their priority is below the character sprites, but it’s a nice change instead of doing sprites 24/7).

First, the pre-trial CGs!

There are some expressions/positions that I might be willing to change, although that’ll come in later when I gotta sit down to finish these. But yeah, later. (Also, just to be clear, I drew these waaay back, so the designs might not match the current ones).

In a trial, depending the type of chapter, the 1st CG and 3rd one will switch places. The one that appears last will be the one that contains the protagonist whose POV we are witnessing.

Second, one of every prologue’s main CGs. “The killing game has begun!”

Looks of doubt and deceith are flying across the room! Who will make it through the end of the day? And who’ll be left behind~?

It might seem pretty basic without them being colored, but hopefully it’ll look better in the future!

Animation Tests

Man, this was a lot of fun to work on, and it was all worth it! I hope you all enjoy these as much as I did while trying to materialize these concepts!

#1 - Prologue Title Card

Every chapter of this story has a title card, just like the original danganronpa games. In the case of DDR:LF, this is more or less what each card will look like.

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It’s kinda basic; elements being added to the screen here and there, as well as some silhouettes appearing.

What are these silhouettes, you might ask? It’s none other than the cast of the fangan, but it’s not just anybody who’s randomly picked. The silhouettes belong to the victims and the murderers of the current chapter, so for example, chapter 1 will have the silhouette of the 1st victim and the 1st murderer, but it’ll be modified enough for the silhouette to not be easily recognizable; nobody wants to get spoiled the deaths right at the start of the chapter, right?

Of course, the prologue is an exception... maybe.

A bit of the BGM was done by me, while some other elements of it were taken off from royalty free sound effects/melodies websites.

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#2 - Pixel Execution

As you all know, there’s always a pixel animation that starts off an execution. I have that too, of course! and in order to avoid spoilers + show you what I was able to do, I put myself in the place of the culprit. (I swear I didn’t kill off anyone yet... only after the fangan has started I’ll be considered guilty).

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The background music was also composed entirely by me, although in the future it might change- but I don’t really know for certain, so get used to this for now :)

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#3 - Execution style test

I’ve recently downloaded the program Live2D, and what for? For executions, no less! After trying it for a while, I’ve concluded that it’d simplify my job a lot more than if I used sony vegas for animating the executions (not to mention it looks smoother with this new one).

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For this test, I’ve used Seiji as my puppet. It might be simple, but it was to test out the limits of the program. It turned out really good imo! So I’ve decided to use Live2D to animate the executions (or at least, do most parts of them with it). I learnt some stuff while experimenting around with the program, so next time I’ll finish these sort of things even faster probably.

Also I put it on loop because a 2 second video is rather sad.

GUI Design

Now, I'll admit that I'm not the best at GUI design, but I tried my best to come up with my own design for the fanganronpa's interface, which I made based on a water-ish looking theme. The (not final) result of that is the picture below.

In case that you’re wondering, no, this isn’t any sort of canon conversation. It’s just the phrase I could come up with.

And yes, the background is from V3; I don't have any backgrounds at all for the project yet lol.

The sun and the fish on the top right corner will change depending on the time of day; but that's something that I'll keep to myself until the moment I start posting the story.

I have conflicted feelings with this GUI though, I don't know if I like it or not. It looks somewhat good but still off at the same time? Although it might just be me. If anyone has any feedback or suggestion for the GUI's design, the inbox is always open to receive such help!

So what's next?

Currently, I have loads of assignments at college, so it's kinda hard to make a balance between the project, social life and college work. However, the project is something that won’t stop.

The fangan has only one member, which is me of course; that means it’s going at a slow pace. I'm willing to make a recruitment for help, but that’ll be later once I have the basics to let someone else help me. If you’re willing to volunteer for this project, keep heads eyes up for the day I call out for help.

In the past, I tried to learn how to program with unity, but it’s hard to follow it up when the free tutorials are scattered here and there. When I have free time and everything art-related has been set up, I might try to pick it up again. I say might because I’m gonna start a tiny course for unreal engine at college. Maybe with the basics that they teach there, I’ll be able to do a better/quicker job than if I did it with unity (which I have 0 experience with). But the future is uncertain, so I’ll be the judge of that once I’m done with that course!

With that being said... as of now, the next objectives for the project (not ordered by priority) are the following:

Finishing Default Sprites.

I only have 7 default sprites done out of the 16 students, and I’m already working on the 8th. Half-way there?

Concept Art for each Room/Place.

While I have written down all the places in each dome, there are some that I need to draw the concept of the place, since the idea in my mind keeps changing them, I should settle them down.

Finishing Writing the Prologue and the Basics of Chapter 1.

I mean I already have like a half of these two things or more, but since I keep changing it, they never get any actual progress. Maybe I should learn to let it be as it is lol.

Creating 3D Assets.

Of course, I’ll make the 3D models for the rooms and props... well, I might do them; that is if I can’t find anyone that can make them. Pros of this is that I can do things exactly how I want them; cons are that it takes time and I’m not an expert in 3D modeling.

Trial GUI.

Class trials in danganronpa have a different GUI than the one used outside of them. We have a beta for the general GUI up there, now we need one for the class trial’s as well!

Concept Art for... a Trial Thing.

It’s no surprise that there are special things in fanganronpas, such as making changes to certain game mechanics, or creating completely new ones. The one I’m refering to in this case is a change to an already existing mechanic in the DR games. Can you guess which one it is~?

Splash Art.

During the first year of birthdays, I drew some sketches for the characters; those are the base for their future splash art.

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And last (and currently least important)

Recruiting Volunteers for the Project.

Obviously, I can’t do everything in this project by myself. In the future, once I have made a base for every ground of the project, I’ll recruit people that can work from there. Artists (GUI,CG and Sprite), Compositors, and 3D modelers are the ones that I’ll be looking for in this recruitment. In an even-later recruitment, I’ll make a casting call for voice actors as well. Please be patient though!

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I suppose that’s it for this very long post. It took more days than expected to put everything together, but at last I can release it now!

Now, June and July are pretty busy months at college, so unfortunatelly the progress will slow down a lot more than usual for the next few weeks. Thanks for sticking around this project despite the long road it has ahead! ^^

See you all in the next post! And if you read this entire thing, thank you for your interest in the fangan! <3

#progress log #double danganronpa lost faith #byu talks #wips #tests

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fabermemorialrink · 7 years ago

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some mistake, part 5

When exactly is something going to happen in this story, you may ask. Soon, but the pacing will be super weird, I tell you. In other news, to answer a question that I am too dumb to understand how to tumblr-reply to, this story isn’t yet on AO3 because it’s very unfinished, but hopefully someday I’ll get it together! Thanks for reading so far!!

Derek’s first year at Phillips Andover finally draws to an end, and it's as he’s locking his dorm room closed that he takes a deep breath and decides that yes, he's got this. He can make it through the next three years.

Summer passes in a blur of lazy days spent lounging at the Met trying to find inspiration for his summer writing assignment and hot afternoons on the balcony looking out on the city. Derek rides four different airplanes and swims in two different oceans; he visits family down the east coast for the Fourth of July and hits up Chowder in early August to see all the local sights in the Bay Area. Chowder takes him to San Francisco where they walk along the wharf and gawk at fish at the aquarium. He drinks milk tea full of custard and eats enough egg tarts to last a lifetime. They go surfing and Derek manages to trip while underwater, causing Chowder to go into heroic lifeguard mode even as he's shrieking barely censored profanities in alarm. C helps him pick out a tiny orange crab keychain for Dex that Derek wraps protectively under several layers of tissue paper.

Derek returns to New York to hang out with his parents before their schedules de-sync again. Mama takes him to the ballet while the other two are busy. He goes with Mom to Central Park where they eat ice cream and people-watch for an entire day. Dad decides they should try a glassblowing class together while he's not needed for a few blessed days at the company. Derek makes a clear paperweight with a golden-red heart, like a flame suspended in crystal. It's pretty and pointless and it makes him think of Dex, who'd hate to know what Derek's comparing him to. He wonders what Dex is doing for the summer. Is he working somewhere else, or still doing his odd jobs in the forest? Derek can imagine him working in a hardware store half the week and on the docks for the other half, plus baby-sitting duties on top of it all. Dex has never talked about his family, but he seems like he would have siblings. Derek's never asked if Dex is home-schooled, though he suspects it might be the case. Why else would he have so much time to spend in the woods? He figures he'd have learned by now if Dex went to Andover High. Maybe he attends the technical school in town?

There are a lot of things he still doesn't know about his best friend. It's sad, he realizes as he watches sunset dip into twilight over the skyline. He knows little things, like Dex's favorite cookie and that he likes all bugs except mosquitoes, and that he knows how to ask for a glass of water in French and Russian. He knows that Dex is afraid of the undertow in one of the forest's brooks, and that he has a collection of odds and ends that's been bestowed upon him by the forest crows (which Derek maintains is the most YA protagonist shit that he's ever heard of).

But none of the big stuff. Where Dex lives, what his parents do, how many siblings he has. What his hobbies are and what his dream job was when he was a little kid. Whether he's ever broken a bone or his favorite Halloween costume or the first person he gave a real valentine's card to in middle school. Who he is when he's not with Derek. Who he is when he's not in the woods.

Derek doesn't even know Dex's real name.

That's a part of the rules though. Derek knows that, but it doesn't stop him from wanting.

Early at the start of sophomore year, Derek finally takes Chowder into the woods with him. Chowder waffles between being excited to meet Dex after so long and wary of all the rumors that still float around the school.

“Do you think Dex knows about all the ghost stories?” he asks as they trek across the field. “Do you think he’s ever seen a ghost?”

“Even if he has, he probably wouldn’t admit it to me,” Derek says. It seems like the kind of thing Dex would remain tight-lipped about. Dex can talk for hours with Derek about fly fishing and carnivorous plants and the nitrogen cycle, but important subjects like Dex’s birthday and rumored exorcisms have him clamming up before Derek can even think of an objection.

“Maybe he’s shy because he thinks we won’t take him seriously! Nursey, you’ve gotta tell him that I won’t laugh at him. I mean, unless he does something hilarious. He sounds like a funny guy.”

Derek isn’t sure where exactly Chowder got that idea from, but Chowder does have a hidden streak of schadenfreude under his naturally caring personality. He and Dex probably have that in common. Derek’s been chirped enough times by both of them for injuring himself whilst just trying to live his life.

Shit. What if they get along too well? Not that Derek’s jealous or anything. He just doesn’t wanna get ganged up on by these two terrors.

They enter quietly, with Chowder making a suppressed fuss over every cool thing they see. Derek brings him to his hollow tree, where they huddle together trying to listen for ghosts, or birds, or any other sign of life. Nothing appears, as always, so they lie there trying to decide if they should take digital photography or sculpture next year.

“But think of how sick it would be if you woke up and were like, ‘oh I sure would like some wheaties-’”

“C, wheaties, really?”

“ ‘-wow am I glad I can eat out of this mad awesome bowl I made in sculpture with my buddy Chowder!!’” Chowder’s New York accent is so exaggerated it warps into Jersey, Appalachian, and leprechaun by the time he's done.

“Okay, but consider this: you, fifteen years in the future, sitting at your desk coding or some shit. You look to your right, it's to a stunning framed photo of your beautiful spouse and your beautiful kids. You look to your left and see a gorgeous photo of yours truly that you keep on your desk to remind you of what a hella cool idea it was to let me convince you to take photography!”

“Pretty convincing, but why does ‘hella’ always sound so wrong coming from your mouth?” Chowder ponders, which is when Dex pokes his head into the hollow and observes them needling each other about regional slang, Chowder starting to put Derek in a headlock.

“Yeah, I think I'm gonna go,” Dex says blandly, ducking back out as Derek tries to pinch behind Chowder’s knees.

“No, wait, hold up,” Derek gasps out as Chowder lets him slip free. He falls to his knees, about to introduce them to one another when Chowder releases him like deadweight and springs to his feet outside the tree.

Chowder opts for a wave at the same moment that Dex reaches for a handshake, and they wind up swaying their hands around in that dance of indecision, until they settle on some sort of awkward introductory fistbump mush. Derek clears his throat to pretend he isn't laughing. Without further delay, Chowder jumps right into his spiel, full speed ahead.

“Hey, Dex! Nursey’s told me all about you. You can call me Chowder! I know you have these, um, special rules, but I swear I won't break them, so I hope we can be friends too. Not to pressure you or anything! Acquaintances is fine! People in casual acknowledgment of each other, or whatever! It's all good!”

He finishes by tossing up his arms in a mix of declaration - here I am! the famed chowder! - and apology, which Dex watches with a sort of baffled fascination in silence. He looks somewhat overrun, Chowder drops still after his stream of crescendoing words, and Derek has flip-flopped from being afraid they'd like each other too much to being terrified they won't like each other at all.

But Derek’s told Chowder all the rules before, made him promise to remember every single one or Dex would blow his fuse and murder them both, and it pays off, because all Dex does is take a deep breath before meeting Chowder’s greeting with his own slightly flabbergasted one.

“Hey...Chowder. Nursey talks about you all the time. But I didn’t realize you were, uh. So exuberant?” Dex scratches at the base of his skull, watching Chowder like he might solve him if he looks long enough.

“Oh my god, it’s too much, isn’t it? Shit, sorry, I know, I know, I'm way too excited, but like, Nursey’s my closest friend here? I still feel like the ‘new guy’ with everyone else, and you’re his best friend, and I just thought it’d be ‘swawesome if we could also be...something? I should just shut up, sorry-”

“No! No, ch- calm down,” Dex says, biting back the ‘chill’ that Derek is positive he was about to let slip. Derek cackles internally, expressed as a smirk, and Dex glares at him before continuing. “You’re fine. I just don’t hang out with people much. Besides this guy,” he says, jerking a thumb and Derek, and how he manages to make it sound both fond and contemptuous is impossible to understand. “I need to adjust, but it’s not a big deal. You're kind of refreshing.”

Chowder goes from raincloud to solar flare in under a second, beaming at Dex so brightly that the redhead staggers momentarily under his light. “Really? I mean, since you mostly talk to Nursey, and he’s a huge dork-”

“What,” Derek interjects.

“-I mean, I love him and all, but…”

Chowder stops to give him a pointed look, which Dex notices with a stifled laugh, and he claps C on the arm.

“Yeah, I know,” he says, the lines of his frame finally loosening up. “I’m with you on that one.”

Derek eyes them suspiciously. “Yo, are you two just here to slander my name, or-”

“Oh! I brought you a burrito!” Chowder interrupts, swinging his backpack around to present his prized offering to Dex, who accepts it with an unholy gleam in his orange demon eyes.

Chowder had wanted to bring a gift for their “host” because it’s only polite, and Derek has learned by now that Dex, despite being a self-professed unadventurous white American, will eat basically anything Derek offers. Junk food, spicy food, vegan food; “anything but bugs” seems to be the general rule. Regardless of his height and a fair amount of muscle from what Derek can make out under Dex’s loose flannels, Dex’s poor dietary choices can't be doing him any favors.

“Wow, thanks,” he says blankly, trying to absorb the burrito through its foil wrapper with his stare.

“Go ahead; we’re down to chill while you eat,” Derek says, and Dex tears into it, dropping to sit up against the roots of Derek’s tree. He's toting a canvas bag that he dumps in favor of food.

“What's in the bag?” Derek asks.

“Garbage,” Dex replies. “No, seriously, I was picking up litter,” he says when Derek tries to sneak a peek after that unsatisfying answer. True to Dex’s word, there's nothing but wrappers and styrofoam and cigarette butts.

“Whoa, that's great! Nursey says you’re really into nature and science, but I didn't know you were such an environmentalist!” Chowder, squatting next to Dex, bounces on his heels.

“It's not quite like that,” Dex says, words only a little muffled by all the food he’s crammed in. “I'm not planning to study this at college or anything, but- it's just something I do. I take care of the forest.” He scrunches his mouth on one side as he tries to find the words; Chowder waits patiently until he starts explaining. Both of their hands soon join in the conversation as Dex gives Chowder an overview of what he does in the woods all day. Derek watches as they string together movement and sound, orchestrating words with every sweep of their arms. There’s poetry in it, but Derek is content to let the words flow through him without trying to capture them.

He lets them talk without giving much input, happy to sit back and see where things go. Around him, the forest is quiet and light, an island of respite from outside. Conversation between the other two runs easy, a comfortable air already settling around them, and Derek lies down to rest his head on Chowder’s shin. He feels almost completely at ease.

He doesn't realize he's dozed off for a short while until he’s woken by the sound of his name from Dex’s mouth.

“Y’know, I'm, uh- I’m glad Nursey has you at school. He was- I think his first semester was hard for him. But you’re actually normal and nice, unlike all those dyed-in-the-wool old money jackasses. And me, who lives in the fuckin’ woods.” Dex’s voice is wry, but truthful, and Derek studiously keeps his eyes shut so Dex doesn’t stop talking. It feels slightly disingenuous to be listening in like this, but when else will he get the chance to enjoy Dex being the secret sap that he is?

Chowder, perfect as he is, hasn’t moved at all since Derek passed out on his leg. He keeps his legs still, though Derek can feel that his upper body must be moving as he speaks. “No, you're super cool! Living like a book character from one of those outdoorsy survival books like The Hatchet? And you're really nice too!”

“I’m really not,” Dex says around a smile; Derek can tell as much even with his eyes shut.

“Even better, then,” Chowder declares. “It's good to have at least one friend who’s kind of a dick.”

Dex’s laugh slips out, raucous and surprised, and Derek bites his lip to keep from laughing himself. “That's a role I can play,” Dex replies warmly, and for the first time in his life Derek is truly, legitimately glad he came to Andover, if only for the chance to meet these two.

With a loud yawn Derek visibly rouses, stirring on Chowder’s shins. He meets Dex’s upside-down gaze and crosses his eyes even though it makes him dizzy, just to see the way Dex’s mouth twitches as he raises an eyebrow.

“Good nap?” Chowder asks.

“Of course; you're the best pillow I could ask for,” Derek replies, and both his friends snort.

“Don't sugarcoat it, Nursey. I know I'm all bones down there,” C says, nudging Derek with his knee to drive the point home. “Good thing you woke up. I was just about to ask Dex for camping tips! He lives in the woods, you know. Oh, you probably do know - have you seen his house before?”

Derek, stretching his arms wide enough to almost punch Dex in the side, finally lifts himself off Chowder as he tells him, “C, he doesn't actually live in the forest. He just spends like 85% of his time here.”

“Ha, yeah, what he said,” Dex says hurriedly, taking another bite of his burrito. “This is really good; thanks, C,” he mumbles, cramming the rest in and tossing the tin foil ball into his rubbish bag.

Chowder goes supernova when he notices Dex using Derek’s nickname for him, and dives into an extended analysis about the burrito places he's encountered so far in the northeast, and how they can never compare to the ones back home. Dex, used to Derek’s rambling, impassioned treatises about food, flashes him a knowing smile and settles in to listen.

When sunset draws close, Dex walks them to the field. Derek stays behind a minute to dig up a few pieces of trash Dex didn’t notice: glass shards and what looks like a crumpled dryer sheet. Carefully, he wraps the glass pieces so he doesn’t cut himself and jogs to catch up with C, who is saluting Dex goodbye and starting to walk swiftly backwards out from the trees.

“Hey, wait for me,” Derek calls, but Chowder shakes his head, yelling back, “I’m not gonna get stranded in pretzel prison again!” as he hustles across the grass at an alarming rate while waving at Dex.

Derek resists the urge to pull a face, but Dex notices his displeasure anyway, asking, “Pretzel prison? What the heck is that?”

“Team movie night. Coach always buys these unsalted wheat pretzel sticks and someone gets stuck with the responsibility of eating them. Usually it’s last one through the door; C learned this the hard way.” Derek wrinkles his nose, then gets an idea. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to-”

“I’m not going to pretzel prison for you, Nursey.”

“Weak.” Dex bats Derek’s thumbs-down away, his face a ruddy pink. Odd. “Why do you look like a Valentine’s Day candy display?”

“Shut up, that’s why.”

“Ooh, nice burn,” and when Dex just rolls his eyes, Derek decides it’s time for his customer satisfaction survey. “So, um, Chowder’s cool, right? You guys had a lot to talk about.” A flutter of worry lands on his chest at the thought of them somehow hating each other, regardless of any evidence saying otherwise.

“Yeah, he’s really- uh, he’s great. How do you handle it? He’s so...dazzling,” Dex hisses. He looks overwhelmed still, a tinge of pink on his cheeks. He keeps glancing away from Derek to return another little goodbye wave to Chowder, who's shuffled backwards quite a ways on the soccer field, waiting for Derek despite his fear of low-sodium snacks. Dex’s gaze won't hold for long though, and keeps skittering back to rest safely on Derek, who doesn't make him act like a shifty corner dealer. Suspicious.

“Holy shit, you have a crush on Chowder,” Derek accuses when he realizes the truth.

“I don't have a damn crush-”

“Your face is fluorescent pink right now, you liar-”

The color only worsens. “He gave me a hug, okay? I haven't hugged anyone in years, and he's good at it, so sue me.” Dex’s choppy robot arm movements aren't doing him any favors. “And you know I turn red at everything; it doesn't mean anything, Jesus.”

“Years?” Dex's family must not be big on physical affection. “You should've told me. I could hug you.”

“Why the hell would you hug me?”

Derek fixes him with his sternest frown. “You're clearly hug-deprived; it's my duty to fix that.”

“It's really, really not. Stay back, Nursey, don't you come any cl- aaaurgghhh!”

It's unintentional, of course, but when Derek latches on for a hug and unavoidably knocks them to the ground, Dex lands in a painful heap on a cluster of roots and rocks, and he groans miserably into Derek’s shoulder.

“Shh, shh, there there. I'm here now.” Derek uses one hand to pet gently at Dex’s hair; Dex wriggles anemically in his grasp for a moment before sagging into the ground, his face still buried in Derek’s shirt. He’s solid under Derek’s weight, all his sharp corners leaving Derek comfortably uncomfortable.

“Thanks. Now please leave.”

Derek already knows he’s going to be turned down, but he can’t help asking on the off chance that one day Dex decides to accept, so as they walk to the treeline he asks, “You sure you don’t wanna come crash movie night? We’re watching Toy Story 3. It’s supposed to be incredible.”

“They made a third one?” Dex looks pleasantly surprised, but he shakes his head. “You know me; I’ve got wood to chop and fires to extinguish. Maybe next time. Good luck on your math test tomorrow.”

Maybe next time is better than all the other previous rejections. Someday perhaps it’ll become a yes.

“Alright, Smokey Bear. I’ll save you some pretzels.”

By the time Derek catches up with Chowder, Dex has retreated back into the forest, but Derek is left pondering one glaring oddity about his friend that he’s wondered about before.

It’s been over a year, but Derek has never seen Dex cross the treeline before. At the very most, Dex will linger right at the edge of the wood, but Derek has never seen him step foot on the soccer field. That, he could attribute to some kind of superstition, but what he really wants to know is...

Does Dex actually live in the woods somewhere?

His stories - the ones about Bitty the baker and his boyfriend J, about Lards and Cam and April and the party girls - mostly seem to happen in the woods. Could it be that they all reside in some kind of wilderness commune?

Dex talks more about his friends than his family, and Derek would assume that Dex just has a shitty home life, or terrible parents, but the few times he does mention them in passing during vague anecdotes of his childhood, he always sounds fond. Sometimes he seems envious of the good relationship Derek has with his parents, but as if he misses them. Maybe his parents passed, or there's some other complicated situation with his folks, but Derek doesn't know how to ask without making Dex feel trapped and on edge, so he continues to keep his mouth shut and wonder about all the sad possibilities.

Because there are times he wants to ask more, wants to press his luck and tell Dex, hey, you're my best friend and I'm here for you; you can tell me anything. Like when Derek asks why Dex has such strong feelings about the fishing industry, or where he grew up, because sometimes his inflection and the draw of his vowels doesn't quite match any of the Massachusetts accents Derek’s used to.

Or when Dex traces those three letters on his hatchet, KAP, and his eyes go dark and wistful before shuttering when he notices Derek watching.

But Derek is patient, and if he needs to wait a lifetime until Dex is comfortable enough to tell him all his forest-kept secrets and the memories he holds close to his heart, then he will. He will wait until they're both ready.

#nurseydex #nursey #dex #chowder #omgcp fic #some mistake #hey i love the frogs

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shamelessly4shameless-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The Sand In Your Shoe (5)

Fiona takes one look at her little brother’s face and her heart sinks.

“Ian.”

She says his name with so much tenderness it nearly sets him off again but he manages to bite the inside of his lip and shake his head slightly

“I got that cheap shit shampoo in my eyes!”

“That was unlucky.”

Fiona’s own eyes are large and round with concern but she lets him have his white lie and Ian feels a rush of affection for his sister that reminds him of how things used to be when they were both kids.

“Yeah, sucks. Thank you for my card.”

“You’re welcome, sorry there wasn’t a cheque in it. Still haven’t won the damn lottery!”

It is a weak joke but it breaks the miserably tension and Ian manages to smile and even laugh a little. Fiona pours the coffee and Ian cuts his cake. He took too long in the shower and Carl has wandered off on some errand promising to be back soon, Debbie has taken Frannie outside to play and Liam is back in front of his Play Station.

Ian delivers Liam some cake and then joins his big sister at the table. She looks tired but still so beautiful it makes his heart ache and Ian impulsively catches her hand in his and kisses it.

“What the fuck?”

Fiona laughs and ruffles his hair, shorter than he’s had it for a couple of years but still long enough that it needs smoothing back down when she’s done.

“You’re just so fucking gorgeous and I can’t believe I don’t tell you more often.”

“Wow. Thank you. You know it’s your birthday not mine ,right?”

Ian smiles and gives her hand a squeeze before reaching into his jeans pocket and producing a packet of cigarettes, slapping them on the table and winking at her

“That’s why I’m treating myself to a pre-lunch smoke.”

They sit quietly for a few minutes, both lost to their own thoughts and grateful for the temporary silence amidst the chaos. Ian drums his fingers anxiously against his leg and presses his feet into the floor to keep from tapping them.

“I saw Yevgeny Milkovich today.”

He tries to sound casual but overshoots and his voice wavers, hitting a high note that smacks of a panic attack in the making.

“Jesus. That must have been weird.”

“Yeah, he’s like seven or eight now.”

Ian knows exactly how old Yevgeny is but he’s trying to cover up his interest for fear of Fiona holding something back. He doesn’t know exactly what but maybe something she’s heard from Vee…

“Yeah. I’ve seen him around with Svetlana.”

Fiona is watching Ian for reaction and he deliberately keeps his face as neutral as possible.

“He looks like Mickey, doesn’t he?”

She offers finally, with an audible sigh that makes Ian wince. He knows he is being subtle as a brick but the expression on Fiona’s face suggests that this is something she has been waiting on for a while and it makes Ian feel predictable and a bit pathetic. For a moment Ian thinks about saying he didn’t notice and changing the subject to something lighter but he doesn’t really want to. Something has awoken in him, something that has lain dormant for so long that Ian had almost forgotten it was there at all and he means to follow it and see where the feeling takes him.

“Yeah he does. Svetlana said that Mickey still sends money, you know?”

“Good. It’s the least he can do!”

Fiona’s brows knit together and she shakes her head. She never had a very high opinion of Mickey to begin with and the fact that he sends money for a son he never sees fails to impress her all that much.

“I know it’s just … I hadn’t thought about him properly for a while and it’s good to know he’s still …”

“Alive?”

“… Free.”

Ian tapped the ash off his second cigarette and smiled weakly at her which only earned him another sigh.

“You know you gotta leave all that in the past, Ian.”

“I suppose … I mean … I just fucked it all up so badly, Fi. I had so much of my own shit going on and with the meds and the bipolar I wasn’t myself or like, the version of myself I wanted to be, and …”

“Stop. Jesus! You’ve got your life together! You’re doing great with your EMT job, you have your own apartment and your own friends. Your meds are stable, you’re healthy…”

“I know. I know all that and I’m happy…”

“Then why risk it for an old boyfriend you haven’t even heard from in years?”

“I’m not going to! I just … forget it.”

Ian shook his head again and closed his eyes. It was easy for him to get pissed with Fi, to resent her controlling ways and know-it-all attitude but the truth was that she had kept them going, sacrificing her own teens and twenties to ensure that all of them were seen right, or as right as possible. She had done so much for them, fought for every single one of them and if she was bossy then she had damn well earned that right.

“Ian, I know you loved Mickey but he is doing whatever the fuck he is doing and I don’t mean to be cruel, but he probably wouldn’t care about you at all now. Probably has a whole host of Mexican bang-buddies at his disposal.”

Ian’s head shoots up, green eyes wide and angry.

“Mickey never fucked around, Fiona. I was the one who did that. I did porno and I cheated on him. I was the one who acted like I didn’t care.”

“Oh please! I know Mickey tried really hard when you first got sick, I never denied that and it was good of him but his way of showing ‘care’ was attempting to murder Sammi and busting your face when you pissed him off. You gotta leave this alone Ian!”

Ian wants to argue with her, tell her that he busted Mickey’s face too and that if he had the guts, he would definitely have killed Terry Milkovich but decides to leave it alone. Fiona is looking pretty upset with him and he can’t really blame her. Ian doesn’t even know why he is dragging all this up or what his end game is. He just knows he feels something in his gut and that isn’t much to go on and certainly not something to fight with his sister over.

“I’m sorry, Fi. I don’t mean to be a pain in the ass. I think just seeing Yevgeny … you know. I kidnapped that kid once!”

Ian grins and tries to make a joke of it all and after studying him a moment longer, Fiona gives in and laughs to.

“Fuckin’ Gallaghers.”

Ian leaves the Gallagher house towards dusk, he is feeling much better and his hands have stopped shaking. Mickey is still on his mind, as is Yevgeny, but it is a manageable level of background noise now. He can cross the road, notice his shoelace is undone and make greetings to people he recognises without having to bring himself back from his thoughts first and that is important.

Ian has learned to live a controlled life, monitoring himself carefully to ensure his moods are not swinging unduly one way or the other. If he wants to make an impulse purchase he tries to stop and think for at least five minutes, even if it is only a few bucks. He takes his meds as regularly as he can, he does mess up by an hour here or an hour there sometimes and often forgets to eat with them but he manages reasonably well and even Fiona has stopped asking him if he’s doing it right.

In a way, now that he has it under control this lifestyle suits him okay, he always liked neatness, order and rules. It’s kind of why he wanted to join the army so badly as a kid. He used to feel highs and lows that were not just part of his ‘disorder’ but part of his very soul. Now he tends to crush those feelings down when they arise and has become good at doing so. The only thing Ian truly misses is feeling a regular sense of curiosity. He used to be curious to the point of nosy and now he just doesn’t care enough about most things to wonder.

He realises that he is heading toward the Alibi and pauses mid-stride, his boots scuffing along the sidewalk. The Alibi used to be such a normal part of his routine, not that he was ever a big drinker but it wasn’t weird for him to drop in there to see Kev or find Frank or Lip. Ian thumbs his lip as he considers his options, a habit he doesn’t remember picking up but can’t shake somehow.

He wants to convince himself that it is nostalgia or the desire to see Kev that is sending him there but he knows it isn’t, he knows Kev hasn’t been there for quite some time. He is aiming to see Svetlana.

The alibi looks like shit but then it always did and Ian mostly ignores the old bar flies, lifting his hand in greeting to the ones who look up from their beer and briefly make eye contact with him.

“Is Svetlana here?”

The barmaid looks him up and down and Ian tolerates this with all the good grace he can muster. The blonde woman appears to make up her mind finally but doesn’t take her eyes off Ian as she yells

“LANA!”

Svetlana appears a few minutes later, her face sharp and watchful transforming into a small smirk when she sees Ian.

“He still says ‘Hello’. I have not told him Carrot Boy rejects him again yet.”

“Is he OK?”

“How in fuck should I know. I tell him of Yevgeny. He sends money for Yevgeny. Is all.”

Svetlana is eyeing Ian with something that could almost be amusement and Ian wonders if he is barking up completely the wrong tree. He weighs his options but the gut feeling which has been pushing him since looking up into Yevgeny’s eyes from the tarmac this morning won’t quit nagging at him and Ian decides to lay everything on the table. If Svetlana laughs at him, so be it.

“I haven’t thought about him in a while. Now I am. I just want to know he is alright.”

“You have not thought of him?”

Her voice is incredulous, almost angry and Ian feels a blush creep up his neck

“It was complicated.”

“You went crazy, he love you. You steal baby, he love you. You too weak to visit in prison without payment, he love you. Not complicated, just stupid.”

Svetlana has stepped behind the bar as she speaks and Ian watches her pull two shots of vodka, she pushes one across the bar towards him and slams the other down her throat before looking him dead in the eye.

“You are selfish little copper shit, no idea of love.”

“And you’re a fucking rapist. Don’t you dare lecture me on love”

The anger comes hot and fast and Ian slams his palm down on the bar hard enough to bruise the heel of his hand. Ian is almost as shocked as Svetlana at the outburst but it wipes the haughty look off her face and that gives him a small sense of satisfaction. She recovers quickly though and Ian crosses his arms over his chest protectively waiting her to strike back.

“So we both screw him, just different ways, hmm?”

Svetlana pours another drink and shrugs cooly.

“He is OK. We spoke a little while. He is OK.”

“Will you tell him I say Hello back? You don’t have to but …”

“I will tell him. He may not care but I will tell him.”

“Thank you.”

Ian lets his breath out shakily and sips at the vodka she has given him. He doesn’t know if it is a gift or if he will be asked to pay for it. He doesn’t mind either way really. The feeling that brought him here is draining as well as encouraging and he feels ready to sleep.

“Give me your number.”

Svetlana says suddenly and takes her phone out of her bra, gesturing impatiently to Ian

“Why?”

“In case he cares.”

Those four words make Ian’s mouth instantly dry and his palms slick with sweat. His heart hammers in his chest and he feels a wonderful mixture of fear and hope rise up from the kernel of feeling in his gut, unfurling like a flower stretching out to reach the dawn light. He hasn’t felt anything like this in so long and it is almost painful in its intensity. A distant part of him knows this feeling, it is like returning to a childhood home after living away for fifty years and Ian taps his number into Svetlana’s phone before he can lose his nerve.

“Why would you do this for me?”

“Not for you. What I did … it got me my Yevgeny so I cannot regret it. But perhaps a small debt is owed to his father. A very small one.”

Svetlana smiles slightly at that and Ian feels like his feet have been lifted from the ground and he is floating above himself slightly. The vodka is working far too quickly, he shouldn’t have had it. He needs to leave.

“Thank you anyway.”

He mumbles and staggers out of the bar before Svetlana can say anything further. Ian runs until his breath is like fire in his throat and his legs tremble uncontrollably as he sinks to the ground, sitting on the curb with the sort of oddly graceful clumsiness that only big men have.

*In case he cares*

Fuck. Birthdays make him crazier than normal!

Ian grins up at the darkening sky and wonders when he’ll find out if Mickey Milkovich still cares or not.

#shameless #shameless us #shameless fanfiction #ian gallagher #ian x mickey #mickey milkovich #gallavich #Gallagher #Milkovich

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wish4youff · 7 years ago

Text

06 ~ Not Knowing

King

The tenderness in my shoulders and arms disappeared, the cold water eventually causing everything to go numb the longer I stood there. My eyes closed tightly as if I was escaping something by blocking out the image of it. Which may be true considering the fact I was afraid to see the blue veins in my body popping up from the lack of heat it was now receiving. I didn’t want to face the reality that for the third time I had cheated death. My ego should be on a power booster right now, but instead I was more terrified than thrilled. Scared of the possibilities of the next time this challenge presented itself I wouldn’t win. Slamming my hand down on the faucet, the chilling sensation stopped in a matter of seconds. Making me miss it, weirdly enough. Opening the glass door of the shower, I avoided the mirror in front of me. Reaching I grabbed the white towel; wrapping it around my lower half before walking into the bedroom of my suite at Loews Regency. My mind wondered throughout the time I dressed myself in the black Gucci slacks which was paired with a long sleeve black Polo shirt. I dropped some argan oil in my hands before rubbed it through my hair, all awhile I contemplated on my next move. I hate New York, I do. Yet, I find myself here for business and personal visits far too much for my likening.

Fully dressed I headed to the door of the door of my Grand Executive Suite, dropping my room key, phone, and wallet in the designated pockets. The doorman bid me a goodbye once downstairs, politely nodding his head in my direction and thankfully I could master up enough kindness in my soul to acknowledge and wish the same upon him. The driver of a black Tahoe presented himself to me not a second later, saying the same-ole’ paid greeting before opening the back door of the truck and allowing me to adjust myself inside before closing it and walking back to his side. It took a matter of seconds to pull off into the early afternoon traffic of Midtown, New York.

“Vitale!” The sound of my name, last and probably favorable to the public, caused me to look up and come face to face with Ibrahim. Entering completely into the building from the pat down and search. My credentials got me this far; I shouldn’t be surprised he knew I had arrived. The smile and excitement told me he was genuinely happy to see me. That felt good especially in this business. You never know who’s real and fake. I keep those around me that I’ve known for years bedside by now I know their moves and how they think.

And I’m sure that’s vice versa; especially with my title here.

“What’s good man?”

It had been a few weeks since I last saw him in New York after the murder of Flowers. Of course, we’ve spoken since, he called and told me about the case of Demetrius letting me know that it was indeed a personal love affair conflict. Was it solved? Not so much. Apart from business, Ibrahim had a wedding happening in about four weeks with his long-time college girlfriend Victoria Evans. The main reason I’m here today; he was finally taking the groomsmen to pick out our tuxedos. It feels good to do something normal for a few hours. Tomorrow I was in Atlantic City to do some work before returning the following day to this very same building to speak with the chief here. “Nothing man. Nothing,” With a quick hug, we both headed inside of his office on the eleventh floor of New York headquarters. “I know this the last place you want to be at. Reminding you of work and shit, but Vick at the house with her momma and friends I figured we’ll just meet up here. Hopefully Bas almost done with his work and we’ll be on the way.” “I’m good, I ain’t getting paid to be here. What’s going on with Vick though? She still deciding on the dress?” “Yes, she said there’s two choices now, honestly, I don’t care. She’ll have on the dress for about two or three hours before she changes to the next one anyway so I’m not even seeing the big deal here.” “Women man. We’ll never understand.” Ibrahim laughed at my words, but I knew deep down how true they were. Never will a man understand women to the smallest details. We’re all built differently, coming from two different worlds. They may be coordinated with one another, but to truly understand the mental mindset; never. “You ready?” I asked, looking at him from across the other side of the office while he got his things together. “This is big and I know y'all been through thick and thin with one another, but………..I don’t know, man. This shit seems important to every aspect of your life." "I love her. I’ve been loving her for a long damn time. I can’t see my life going on with just having her as some girlfriend, man. I wake up and it fucks me if she’s not there. I’ve done my share of dirt throughout this relationship as you know, but I can’t see me hurting her anymore. And I can’t see us going on without this title of our love." "And love is enough? You know, to go forever?" "I hope so. I mean, there’s loyalty and respect. That ride or die love that keep you going. Faith, trust. All that shit play apart, King." "And you can’t see yourself without her?”

He grinned when I asked that last question, looking up at me.

“What are you hinting at?" I don’t even know. "I’m just thinking about what’s going on. I’m thinking about life man. Mines and everyone’s around me. I’m thinking about my own love life, I’m seeing all this success around me and yet there’s not kind of sense of happiness involved. So, there’s this question that keeps popping up that if you love someone is that enough to marry them and be happy. I’m stressing from figuring out the answer.” “And then you gotta deal with the fact that you’re about to see Chrissie too.” He pointed out, I was specifically trying to leave that out. But nonetheless, yes. “She’s coming?" "She RSVP’d a few nights ago. I remember because Vick came in the room, smiling and all teary-eyed and shit,” I nodded my head at his words. Thinking he was done now. “You said you saw Olivia the last time you were here though. How that go?” “It was cool. She was nice to me, there was no bad blood between us." "That wasn’t Chris either though." "Hell no. Chrissie would’ve killed me probably,” By now I could’ve sworn she’ll be forgotten. Or at least so far in my memory that I longer cared about her. Instead it was the opposite. She was controlling me without even being around and the closer we got to this wedding; the more I was on edge. “I fucked up with her. Even I knew I was doing something stupid but I played myself into believing that it was for the best that I spilt ways with her." "You can have spilt ways all you want Kingston, but until there’s that closure between you two. You’ll always have that bad cloud sitting over you.”

Chrissie

“I like this more though. Look at the colors on this, Chrissie." My eyes scanned the artificial room me and my sister stood in at the Brooklyn Ikea Store. The multi-colored three hundred dollar 3-Piece Hercules Alon Series was in fact beautiful especially with the set. From what Olivia’s saying, the room that she and Travis chose for his parents stay; there’s no furniture whatsoever. Yet it’s the only room beside their master bedroom which has a walk-in closet and private bathroom. In all, I understand her wanting to dress it up for their liking, but I also don’t want her to do too much. I highly doubt Ikea will allow them a full return after the holidays because this stuff is now unnecessary. Travis did hand over his debt card to handle all direct charges. He’s made his parents happy thus far. Just as myself and Olivia, he’s the first graduate of his family, going on to become the first Doctor. And even with their five-year age difference he seems like a wholesome person for my sister. So, I understood her want to be proactive with this decision.

"I love the colors,” I started off with. “Right! It’s perfect.” And she finished it for me, moving on to the front counter. I hope they had some in stock to help soothe her soul. This has been the fifth store we’ve been to in the past four hours. As much as I love Liv, she will be the death of me. It was slowly counting down to Christmas Eve, and with as much work on my desk at home; I was here with her. Nonetheless, I had my own reasons. A few nights ago, I took myself out of misery and tore open the invitation Ibrahim had sent to me through Mike. What I found out was Michael was over six weeks late with giving me the invite. I didn’t know what kept this so long; maybe fearing my reaction, but he did so. This however, only gave us about four weeks to get ourselves ready for the event. And being I haven’t been around the crew in over six years, I needed this prep time. Olivia also needed to know that she was invited. We both had plus one invites also and I’m sure she’ll ask Travis if he was up for attending the wedding along with her. It took her over ten minutes to come back from the counter after speaking with some of the sale associates. From the smile on her face I knew it had to be something good coming from this. As emotionally detached I seemed, this was important to her, so I was trying to be a good team player. “What happened?" "I’m buying the last they have in the store. Plus, it’s twenty percent off so I’m getting a pretty damn good deal for this couch.” “So all you have to do is pay?” “Yeah, but I came over to see if you were okay. I’m starting to think holidays aren’t your thing anymore.” Olivia stated, laughing lightly as if she was trying to lighten the mood. “I’m good Livia."

"So, we’re invited? Like invited?" So, I spilled the beans. Accidentally on purpose. I needed to talk about this to someone sooner than later. "Yeah. It’s the week of Kingston’s birthday." "Which is?" "The twenty-eighth of January is his birthday. The wedding is the twenty-fourth." "How do you remember his birthday after almost nine years?” Her question was completed left of this topic, yet understanding. “Look, that’s beside the point,” I said, but like always she cut me off. “When is my birthday?" "Don’t do this Liv.” “No seriously. When?” “March fifth, Olivia. Nineteen-Ninety-One.” Pleased with my response she slumped down on the couch nearest to her in the living room of she and Travis’, well originally known as Travis’, Upper East Side townhouse. “Are you down with it?” “I guess so. I’m invited. It’ll be rude to turn down the invite just because of some college bullshit.”

I already RSVP myself, but I decided to keep that to myself for now. “But it’s more than that Chrissie,” Sighing, Olivia looked at me and I could read the intrusive question coming from a mile away. “What happened?” “Kingston has a lot of dark secrets. Shit that I couldn’t dare myself to tell someone without his permission.” And that’s the truth. I rather have that dreadful conversation with him first.

“You need his permission to speak on how much his presence still bothers you? He sounds controlling.”

“Olivia….” I respond, tired of this already.

“And do you think he still thinks about you as much as you think about him?” “Ouch.” I said, my sensitive emotions took that as some deep shade throwing. “I’m just asking because if not, maybe you can relax.” "I don’t know Livia. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. The man keeps his distance with me." "Call him.” She said, picking up her phone before sliding it over to me. Her words came out so easy and claiming. As if it was just that easy. As if it was some bright idea that pop up in her mind. ‘I never talk on the phone, Babygirl. I hate that shit. It’s never as personal as you think.' God, I remember those words every time the idea has come to mind. “He won’t answer.” “Try.”

#j. cole ff

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blazedroses-archive · 6 years ago

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under read more are melinda’s halliwells headcanons!!

ok but melinda views phoebe as an evil pre-aiden situation. murdering someone? running away from its crimes? sacrificing everyone to save herself? YIKES!!! coward moves in melinda’s eyes. her entire future ruined because of her mothers half of the family. unfortunately, mel doesn’t get it till she follows into the same footsteps. definitely a no bueno. hates phoebe for setting up the path for darkness since melinda had no control.

PIPER IS A GREAT MOTHER! don’t get me wrong, i know in my main verse, piper is nonexistent in melinda’s life. realistically, in morality bites, it is the only universe piper even considered leaving her child behind. at the end of the day, in canon, phoebe would have never let her. it isn’t piper to abandon her family. she is the heart of the family because piper fights for it. drastic situations cause people to take drastic measures. leaving melinda behind to save her sister? it was difficult, but at least melinda would have her father and phoebe would still be alive if they escaped.

honestly melinda has a really bad habit of just…. speaking out her ass. she doesn’t think and just blurts everything out. truly not her finest quality yikes!!!

melinda loves her bad boys and girls. she loves when they give her trouble and is like severely addicted to them. they’re her weak spot and senses them when they’re like a mile away. it’s what gets her into her sticky situations all the time and like???? yikes terrible dating life.

melinda, due to those great whitelighter abilities, is able to speak multiple languages, both commonly and uncommonly known. it’s definitely comes as a surprise to others when she’s in school and hears people talking shit in a different language due to being related to phoebe halliwell, but ya know, gotta reciprocate that trash talk.

melinda talks a lot with her hands especially when she’s angry. that’s it. thnxs for coming to my ted talk.

melinda knows when she fucks up. she won’t deny or try to hide it. the downside? once she already knows she’s in trouble? she’ll keep on doing it. out pass curfew? looks like she’s staying out. stealing? well, there’s no return. secretly using magic and then getting caught? oh fuckin well!!! truth is, she is self destructive but is super clever when it comes to getting herself out of shitty situations.

elders can go fuck themselves!!! she has and always will hate them. they’re cowards in her books and hid when the witching world needed them the most. when they needed guidance, they vanished. they are useless and the fact she is even part whitelighter is like a punch to the gut because they are a disgrace. ok thanks. plus their rules and moral even during this time are unethical!!!!!!

bisexual mel? YOU BET! boys were typically a means to an end, using them just as a fun time or to occupy her time. with girls? those are some of her best memories and the places she stems her relationship advice from. girls were so affectionate and caring and kind and loving and everything melinda could have asked for in a partner. the reason why those relationships never lasted because of trust issues. melinda knew her girlfriends and aiden weren’t the same but letting her past go was just too hard. it was a buried memory she wanted to keep hidden. plus melinda knew it wasn’t her partners job to fix the toxic mess of herself. it wasn’t their job to stick around when she would self destruct. it was her own problems to deal with and letting them go was the easiest way to keep them safe and happy.

melinda had gotten into some serious trouble crime wise growing up. luckily for her, darryl was ALWAYS there to help weasel her way out of it. the last time she was ever arrested was when a reality check hit her in the face. darryl was told to not let her out per leo’s orders and ended up spending a night in lock up. although it wasn’t terrible, the idea of doing something so terrible that she’d end up in prison for the rest of her life was a NO GO. ever since, mel has tried to be on her best behavior and doesn’t give darryl too much grief with the amount of times he had to put up with her.

in any reality, melinda wasn’t very keen on getting told she was like piper. she never wanted to be anything like her because piper broke her heart in the worst ways possible. it wasn’t like she had DIED and there was closure. in fact, being ALIVE with no contact made everything so much worse. melinda just wanted her mom to play with her hair, give boy advice, protect her, and even tell melinda how much she loved and appreciated her. abandoningyour own child and never looking back? YIKES!!!! a no go in mel’s book and refuses to be anything like that.

mels mother figure is wendy beauchamp ( aka @wouldntdie ). she stepped up to the plate when piper left. the person who tucked her into bed, told all her secrets to, her pride and joy, everything and more. that’s her mother in every way, shape, and form. having piper walk out on her was painful, no doubt about that, but if that hadn’t of happened? wendy wouldn’t be the mother melinda had. she wouldn’t change that for the world.

friendly reminder that mel has five tattoo’s and twelve piercings! the first tattoo she ever got was when she was fifteen. her dad definitely did not know about this and basically, one of her older friends had a tattoo gun and low and behold, that’s when the triquetra tattoo came about on her hipbone - to represent the heritage of magic! leo didn’t find out about it till summer time since it was hidden but when she’d go out swimming in a bathing suit? yeah that was ruined!! did that stop her? nope!! her next tattoo was fairly simple, small flowers and leaves wrapped around her wrist. she was seventeen getting this tattoo and had wendy’s permission with leo slightly against it ( too bad neither girls ever listen to him? ) BLESSED BE on the bridge of her foot written in cursive on her eighteenth birthday, nothing too crazy, it was a little treat to herself. a little after turning twenty, she then got a moon tattoo behind her ear with a minimalist mandala within it and at this point, no one could say jack about what she did. that was the last tattoo melinda got for awhile until a little after jaxon died. she ended up getting the phrase ’in aeternum’ on her rib cage which is latin for ‘to eternity ; forever.’ because to mel? that’s what their love was.moving on to piercings! she has her belly button pierced and a double nose piercing. she actually got this when she was fifteen too and convinced leo into letting her get them…. which they regretted once they found out about her little tattoo scandal. the rest are just ear piercings which mel gradually just ended up getting over time!

if you ever wanna get fucked up, mel is your go to! not only is she the best joint roller ( teen mel just took a huge jump to rock bottom but it’s ok she built herself up again ) and not afraid to ever cook up a batch of pot brownies ( which her family probably ate by mistake a time or hundred ) but the BEST bartender. the second she turned 18, melinda was behind the bar serving drinks, being everyone’s personal therapist to get them through their dramatic bullshit, but all-in-all? there for a good time! it was a natural talent for someone who delved head first into drinking at the age of fourteen and built a fucking tolerance. even before her 21st, melinda would sneak into clubs that never carded. those who personally knew her knew that her id was a fake, but no one ratted her out because she was that chill. bringing pot brownies to share, taking shots, dancing, you name it, melinda patricia halliwell fucking did it. coyote piper? more like coyote melinda because mother like daugher! when she was legally allowed to bar tend, melinda started attending a university to get her bachelors degree as both entrepreneur and engineering and paid for it using her paychecks and tips.

not being able to use her powers literally killed mel. she had no help from anyone, not even her father. melinda learned how to orb and sense on her own in secret. without anyone knowing, she figured out how to connect with those she loved in order for them to remain safe. obviously, mel had to be super careful due to the fact she could get caught. yet, this one? was super sneaky and sly, running under everyone’s radar in order to remain a secret.

aiden really fucked her up. he was the boy she would’ve gone to the end of the world for. the one she would’ve given up her entire family and morals and lifestyle just to be around. melinda was willing to convert completely to dark magic and essentially expose herself in order to keep him in her life due to wanting to be a magical being. they would’ve destroyed the world if they had to. the worst part about him is that even though he was so bad for her, he treated her so perfectly. aiden treated her like a princess, spoiling her with endless gifts and a kindness that wasn’t shared to the public. like she wishes he treated her bad so the pain and sadness wouldn’t of been so bad and she could’ve walked away sooner in the relationship. even after he died, melinda was still so in love with him and it took years for her to realize how toxic aiden truly was. his death was and always will be a pain that she carries in her heart. after his passing, melinda never settled for anyone. she had MAJOR trust issues and the idea of being in a serious relationship was a literal nightmare. never did she think she’d find love again, let alone really wanted to. then when she was 23, melinda met jaxon and everything really changed. he was a military man, no ties to the magic world. she didn’t want to fall for him in fear of being his downfall. he mended her heart in so many ways and taught her how to love again and just opened her up. he was everything the family envisioned for melinda and they truly lived a happy life with their 3 ( 4 but you’ll see in a sec ) kids. when he died during his final tour, it really put a dent into her life. she couldn’t grieve the same way she did for aiden because she had kids to care for and a baby on the way, one that wouldn’t even have the chance to meet her ( 3 girls, 1 boy. we all know this!! ) father. she wanted to keep his memory alive in positive light and the years that they had together were the happiest. aiden damaged her in so many ways, jaxon was truly melinda’s salvation. having a mortal husband kept her tamed in the no magic world!

listen, if piper ever walked back into melinda’s life, honestly? she’d rock her shit. like to abandon her without saying goodbye or even trying to communicate with her really messed melinda up. all she wanted was her mother and at her worst times, piper wasn’t there. her mother chose her sisters over her own daughter and that was a hard concept for melinda to come to terms with. she doesn’t have it in her to forgive piper, phoebe, or prue. it is too painful to even consider letting that possible heartbreak from happening again. even though melinda’s last name is halliwell, she’ll introduce herself as melinda patricia wyatt because her father? yeah, that’s her hero in every shape and form. wendy? stepping up and being a mom? yeah, that’s her mother in every shape and form as well. a halliwell by blood, a beauchamp-wyatt by choice.

#* ✦ ⋆ ˚ ❪ MELINDA HALLIWELL. ❫ — dossier.#i have so many #i wouldnt be able to post separately

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ellebeebee · 8 years ago

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2.537

Part Three

Part One || Part Two

Phrixus Jaril, 13, moves to the Citadel at a delicate age: namely, the peak of his teenage angst. He doesn’t expect much from these rich Citadel kids. But then he meets the Ryder twins, and all their friends, and realizes that he may have been a wee bit wrong about things. His relationship with Mira Ryder evolves over the years, and he never expected things to end up the way they did.

2942 words, Female Ryder|Sara Ryder/Original Male Turian Character, teen rating

AO3

“Mira, c’mon. It wasn’t that bad. Really. Just come out.”

“No! You don’t know– you weren’t even there.”

“I was there for part of it.”

A long pause. In which Mira was probably making a hilarious face or punching herself or something. Forta sighed again, and rolled his eyes (again). He stood at his sister’s door, jabbing half-heartedly at the panel that had been locked tight all morning. Leaning against the hallway wall, Phrixus shifted his weight. His mandibles twitched uneasily. He held a plate of levo eggs and a glass of water.

He felt strung out and tired, with only a few restless hours of sleep. When the sleep cycle had ended, Forta had come into the living room finally, and Phrixus got up with relief. They’d made breakfast and waited a couple hours for Mira to get up. When she didn’t show, they messaged her. When she didn’t answer, they got worried and found her door locked.

Phrixus nudged Forta and nodded to the door. Forta shrugged, threw up his hands, and backed away.

“Alright!” he said loudly. “I’m going, but if you starve to death in there I’m taking all your stuff! And I’m not telling Grandma you’re dead, so I can steal your five-credit birthday card.”

Mira didn’t reply, and Forta walked off down the hall.

Phrixus stood before her door for a long, silent moment. Then he gently tapped on the faux-wood inlay of the door with the edge of the plate in his hand.

“Mira? It’s me.”

Another drawn-out and super dramatic pause.

“Hey,” she finally said.

Phrixus exhaled, something in his carapace loosening. “Um, you know…”

The silence in the hall pressed down, the presence behind the door and the shadow in the gap at the bottom making his throat tight.

He tried again. “Hey, if you want to, well. You know, just forget about last night– that’s okay.”

The shadow at the gap twisted. He breathed into the pause and shifted his weight. His spurs were numb.

The door slid open a few centimeters. Mira looked up at him.

“I don’t want that,” she said quietly.

Phrixus blinked at her. His mandibles waved in vague little circles. He opened his mouth, closed it. Avoiding her wide eyes and her flushed face, he looked down.

“Here,” he muttered. He pushed the plate of eggs and the water toward her. “You’re probably dehydrated.”

“Thanks,” she said.

They looked at each other until Phrixus turned away with a cough. “Okay, well. I gotta go– There’s a thing– anyway, see you later?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

He scratched his neck, lingered a touch too long, and then he nodded as he went down the hall.

“Wait.”

He stopped and looked back at her peeking around the edge of her door.

“You don’t want that right? To forget…”

“No,” he said.

She blinked, biting her lip. “Oh. That’s good. Uh, call me?”

“Yeah.”

He left the Ryder apartment, ignoring Forta’s stupid face, and only half-way trying to stop the grin he wore down the street and all along the tram ride home.

He will never understand how news spread so quickly. But by the time he went back to school, everyone seemed to know that he and Mira were a Couple™. Which was funny, because the last time he checked, he certainly didn’t know that, or Mira either. Or maybe they did? Well, they talked the evening before, after she napped and got rid of her headache (and they were both significantly less nervous). They made plans to hang out, but– couple? Boyfriend, girlfriend? What? Is that what happened?

The teasing was good-natured, and his own good mood prevented him getting all worked up and prickly as usual. He snapped out the sarcastic returns, but didn’t put any heat in it. Aela didn’t even get under his carapace. Because she was partly to thank for the whole situation. Mira didn’t seem to mind the teasing either, and seemed less embarrassed.

Which was good.

Yeah. It was…

Good.

And then, between programming and galactic history, in a flash that floored him and even later, when he remembered it would still wind him a little– before leaving for her own class, Mira stopped him and tugged sharply on his shirt to get him to bend down and… She tapped her forehead against his. The bridges of their noses brushed. Just like that. Extracting his brain as she skipped away (she wasn’t skipping, more like half-running in giddy horror at her own moxy). But still. He couldn’t think and it wasn’t until someone shoved at him that he got moving again.

Yeah. So that happened, then.

“–just don’t know what I’m supposed to say to him. ‘Oh, the reason it didn’t get filed is because you’re a lazy idiot?’ You know his ego is basically like a baby hanar. Can’t sneeze at it without him crying bloody-murder.”

“Dunno, hun. Kill him?”

“That’s not a solution. That’s an indulgence.”

“Well, I just love to indulge my honey-wunny–”

“Awww,” Calix crooned and leaned over the salad and the casserole to trade a face-caress with Domera. Both of them making stupid noises.

Phrixus silently kept eating, thinking. About a nose brushing his. She was so short, how did she even…

He realized they were looking at him.

“What?” he asked around a mouthful.

“One, gross,” Calix said, wrinkling her nose. “Two, hello? No ridiculous groaning if we even think about touching each other? Are you feeling okay?”

“Do you need to talk?” Domera jumped on. “Is someone bullying you? Who is it? We’ll write them a stiff letter.”

Phrixus swallowed his food, pushing casserole around his plate with his fork. He worked his mandibles for a pause while he thought, digging up the words.

“Uh,” he said. “What would you guys say if I was dating a human girl?”

Forks clattered onto plates, glancing off onto the table and flicking little dressing splatters everywhere. Calix and Domera leaned forward, staring at him. He kept his face carefully neutral.

“Are– are you saying you have a girlfriend?” Domera asked.

He glanced away. “I mean. Yeah.”

“What! Honey, that’s great!”

“Wait- waitwaitwait. Human? Do you mean that Ryder girl?”

“Yeah–”

“Spirits! She’s so cute!”

“Wait, hold on, wait!”

Domera leaped up and went to the fridge, reaching over the top and fumbling all the boxes of cereal and crackers.

“Where are you hiding that cake? We have to have cake!” she called.

“To the left– yes! There!” Calix said “Oh! Should we go get ice cream? Dom, are there candles?”

“Freaking–” Phrixus exhaled loudly. “Would you two quit it?”

“Hush, no one asked you.”

“Yeah. Phrixus Jaril, if you think we’re not going to celebrate every milestone of your life, you are obviously defective and we should take you back to the sperm bank.”

“You–”

“Oh!” Domera exclaimed, putting a half-mauled cake down on the dinner table. She leaned into the table, staring at Phrixus. “You’ll tell us when you lose your virginity, right?”

Phrixus threw down his fork. “I’m going to my room.”

“Aww, c’mooon–”

“Nope.”

He ended up barricading himself in his room, until they smoked him out by blowing wafts of (slightly stale) cake scent underneath the door. The three of them huddled in the floor of his little bedroom with their little plates of cake. He promised to bring Mira over at some point, and no, he didn’t know either of her parents’ numbers or e-mails. He kicked them out when they started taking pictures.

All things considered, it could have gone worse. They could have actually put candles on the cake, and like. Sung. Spirits.

Shortly after, a new file appeared in the apartment’s communal data library. It was unlocked, and labeled ‘DEFINITELY NOT THE LIQUOR CABINET’S PASSCODE.’ Inside were a bunch of infographics and e-pamphlets about safe intercourse between turians and humans. And Phrixus would never, ever, ever (not even on pain of torture) admit to reading all those files.

But that was getting way, way ahead of things.

Or that was probably his moms’ intentions. You learn about that stuff way before you need it. Maybe if he had kids himself he’d know.

Anyway.

Those first bits after they started dating would always be cloaked in this, like, painfully sweet filter.

Once, he went to an in-theater feature of Fleet and Flotilla where you have to dress up, but they serve real alcohol, so it wasn’t terrible. (But the choice in going certainly hadn’t been his.) And when it got to the part at the end, where they separate forever– he didn’t know what came over him. He really never was much for this sappy crap. But he sat, staring at the screen, seeing some fictional bittersweet romance meant to give catharsis, and all he could think about was trading face caresses and kisses with Mira Ryder in between classes. Behind the school’s auxiliary buildings, touching her hair.

The way she laughed as they shared cheap street food and he made some stupid, definitely not as funny as she was making it comment. Sitting on a bench after a ‘oooh-romantic’ walk through the Presidium, playing with each other’s fingers. Hanging around Aela’s, Aela and Forta busy with some video game, and he and Mira sprawled out watching them, her fingers curiously exploring his spurs. The one time they found themselves alone at his place (despite his moms’ best efforts) and they ended up making out until they were both very frustrated, and very confused.

He so often tended to be a sad drunk, and his head would sometimes turn back to those first bits then.

And actually, the more he thought about it, his moms had probably been onto something. Because along with those first bits, things progressed quickly. They didn’t talk about the reason why. They probably didn’t even admit it to themselves, because to admit it would be to admit the approaching danger of an end. Their school was already prepping the turian students for their departure, giving them the study materials for their final evaluations which would be sent on to their bootcamps for placements.

But to admit that they were aware of, and afraid of, that change would be to maybe admit that their relationship wasn’t entirely based on feeling. That maybe they were rushing out of fear.

At the time, he definitely and vehemently refused such an idea. Mira made his stomach flutter, she made him feel good and better, and he wanted to protect her and make her laugh. But later, he would wonder. It didn’t make that painfully sweet filter disappear or anything. Maybe it added to that nostalgia; that with all those innocent and tender feelings of curiosity and fondness, there was also an urgency, an intensity. Everything was changing and they were just trying to keep up.

Also they were teenagers, so of-freaking-course his moms made a sex ed data file for him.

“So vacation is next week,” Mira said.

“Yeah,” Phrixus replied.

He was only halfway listening. They were walking back to the tram station after spending the evening at his apartment; they’d baked this like fudgy turian dessert with tons of chocolate with Domera. They’d suited up Mira with these ridiculous long and yellow protective gloves, and a pair of safety goggles. She still had a red outline where the goggles had dug into her face. Phrixus considered the bonding time a success: Mom had been impressed with Mira’s curiosity about dextro food, and had only made one comment about the safety gear and ‘protection.’

As curfew approached, he’d shuffled Mira out with a minimal amount of Domera’s cooing about their holding hands. He’d let go about halfway, though, to message Forta about leaving for the tram.

“–can come over, because, you know, Dad’s on assignment and Mom’ll be working and Forta won’t be a problem or anything…”

He retook her hand and nodded. “Sure.”

He glanced at her, and paused at the look she gave him, brows raised and eyes a little wide. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, and they were near the tram station, so he just looked up and squeezed her hand a little. And then– what she said hit him and he dropped her hand like one of those fake retrograded pistols from the Arena that didn’t use thermal clips. Overheated.

He stared at her, and she stared back at him. Phrixus’s head whipped around to stare at the people around them. No one was paying them a bit of attention, but he was terrified that the loose crowd was hanging on to their every word. He picked up her hand again, tugging her off to the side of the lane underneath the awning of a closed store.

“Feel free to– you know, whatever if I’m way off, but–” Phrixus said, low and probably too fast. “But, are you saying you want to hang out or– or…”

Mira looked up at him. She was biting her lip, her eyes shifting away and back to him. Away and back.

So they’d gotten the face caress and the kiss down to a near routine (if a routine was meant to cause heart palpitations and flushed cheeks and splayed mandibles on every occurrence). Figuring out the kiss had been… something. His lips didn’t work the way hers did, or his tongue, and the nearness of it, the warmth and the… well. It was. Something. And she didn’t have mandibles, but she’d do this thing where– And there was the time they’d ditched everyone in the middle of a match and their hands had roamed. And then N’tessa’s last week (vids and beer) and their hands had really roamed–

Well.

To say he wasn’t curious, that he didn’t want that, would be a damning lie. He still remembered, at least a couple times a week, how that alley couple had fit together. And he’d done his own, well, research.

But it was just. Uh. A big deal, and like…

They were still holding hands, and Mira squeezed tightly, bringing him back down from orbit. She was looking at him, and then her eyes darted down. But she squeezed his hand and inhaled sharply.

“Well,” she started. “I mean. Yeah, that’s kind of what I… meant. I mean, I’ve never–”

“I haven’t,” Phrixus cut in sharply, clutching at her hand. “Either…”

Looking down, she bit her lip against a smile. She shook her head.

“I guess we both already knew that,” she said.

“I guess.”

He ran a finger over the back of her hand; you could feel the delicate bones there. He cleared his throat, staring at his own hand on hers. He was having a hard time looking at her, too.

He tried again. “But– you want… with me?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “If you do.”

“Yeah,” he said. “If you do, yeah.”

She rocked back on her heels, an after-image of a smile floating around her face. The false sky was really turning black. The fluorescent light in the awning above them cast each of them in stark relief. She burst out a snort, and started giggling. He did, too. Then he glanced over his shoulder at the people (still ignoring them) walking to their homes or the tram station. He looked back at her, met her gaze, and shuffled her backward into the corner where the shop met its neighbor.

She looked up with her eyes glittering until he stooped into her, pressing their not-meant-to-be-yet-absolutely-meant-to-be lips together. Her arms flew up to cradle around the back of his neck. His hand found the steep curve of the small of her back, straining with the effort to reach him. She was on tippy-toes, he knew.

They parted, wedged into the corner and a breath apart.

“Um,” she said. “I should… probably go– the tram…”

“Right,” he said.

He backed them out of the corner, hands probably permanently glued together now. They resumed their walk back toward the station. The first part of their walk seemed a thousand years ago, before their world-shattering commitment.

When she got on the tram, she sat, and turned to look out the window at him standing on the platform. They waved. And he spent a good long while watching the tram’s taillights disappear through the district.

He wasn’t even a fraction of the way home before he started worrying.

He opened his omnitool.

[phrixus] hey

[mira] hi?

[mira] whats up

[phrixus] did you say your parents will both be gone

[mira] yeah

He paused for a long time, staring at empty air. He’d been to the Ryder place a couple times now. Met her mom, Ellen a couple times. She seemed nice, but busy. She was some kind of big deal scientist with human biotics. The dad, Alec, he’d only met the once. Polite, but kind of gruff. Mira hadn’t been kidding about him being military. One of the first through Relay 314, had been there at Shanxi. Phrixus, if he were being truthful, was nervous that her dad didn’t like him, didn’t like the fact that he was turian.

He didn’t care to imagine being caught with Mira by either of them.

[mira] phri?

[mira] it’s cool if you changed your mind

[phrixus] no

[phrixus] i still

[phrixus] you know

[phrixus] but if you change your mind thats completely fine

[mira] i know

[mira] u okay tho

[phrixus] yeah just theres stuff we have to get

[phrixus] ill take care of it

[mira] i can help

[phrixus] no let me

[mira] if you want

[mira] are you home yet

[phrixus] no

[mira] well be safe

[mira] domera’s probably waiting

[phrixus] yeah

[mira] night

[phrixus] night

#mass effect andromeda #mass effect #fanfiction #sara ryder #turians #my writing #original turian oc #sara ryder/orignal turian character #look at them #i cant even w these cuties now #goodddd they're so nervous and #just #these two

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grunklejam · 4 years ago

Text

For the benefit of that one anon, I guess.

1. Name

Jordan.

2. Nationality

British.

3. Age

Ancient. (27)

4. Birthday

28th July.

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)

Leo.

6. Gender

Male.

7. Sexuality

Heterosexual, but biromantic through the hizzow.

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself

I am a 5′6″ tall man with very deep set, tired blue eyes, a large nose and soft cheeks, perpetually unshaven with huge sideburns and indents in my cheeks where the fatigue has hit. I’m extremely pale and tend to look a little bit ill 99% of the time.

9. What do you/did you study?

I did a BTEC in game design. It was useless.

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have?

My job is alright. I’m a copywriter. Moving to a different company on Monday with a significantly higher wage. I’d love to pursue novel writing more after the release of my first book, but that’s a terrible idea of a profession and is exceedingly unprofitable.

11. Your birth order

Only child.

12. How many siblings do you have?

Only child.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Eh, kinda.

14. How many friends do you have?

A surprising amount considering I’m about as social as a solitary murder hornet.

15. Your relationship status

Engaged. Yes, really.

16. What do you look for in a SO?

They have to be @kyolicious

17. Do you have a crush?

@kyolicious

18. When did you have your first kiss?

I can’t remember how old I was, but it was a cuban musician who was off his face on rum.

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

I prefer being with @kyolicious

20. What are your deal breakers?

Racism, homophobia, lack of interest in history, lack of interest in learning, thinking cartoons are crap. Fuck you, cartoons are great. Oh, and feet stuff. Foot fetishists are degenerate.

21. How was your day?

I have no coffee. It’s terrible.

22. Favourite food & drink

Sirloin, cooked rare with a cocktail bitter garnish. My favourite drink is Plum Porter by Titanic Brewery, one of the best beers I’ve ever tasted.

23. What position do you sleep in?

Fucking all over the place. I’m terrible at sleeping.

24. What was your last dream about?

Probably @kyolicious

25. Your fears

Since I was a kid, I’ve had an obsession with maintaining a legacy and being remembered. My biggest fear is being irrelevant or forgotten.

26. Your dreams

To drive more steam engines. To marry @kyolicious. To have my own home. To get recognition for what I create. To be able to smoke cigars again. To write another novel.

27. Your goals

To drive more steam engines. To marry @kyolicious. To have my own home. To get recognition for what I create. To be able to smoke cigars again. To write another novel.

28. Any pets?

Two cats. Karl Isambard, and Punk Maxwell Barnaby D’artagnan. (we couldn’t choose a name)

29. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, drawing, pixel art, baking, cooking, collecting antiques.

30. Any cool places in your area?

There’s lots of really cool historic sites in West Yorkshire and I feel blessed to live in such a prime place of Industrial Archaeology. My favourite by far was an abandoned railway line near my birth village of Horbury, which still had the rails in place and was beautifully overgrown. It was my safe place for years.

31. What was your last awkward situation?

Probably waking up.

32. What is your last regret?

Probably waking up.

33. Language/s you can speak

I am abysmal at languages. English is all I know. @kyolicious is teaching me Swedish, though.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Not particularly, but it’s fascinating.

35. Have any quirks?

I’m pretty much a giant ball of quirks.

36. Your pet peeves

Chewing with mouths open, bare feet, loud noises.

37. Ideal vacation

It probably involves steam engines somehow.

38. Any scars?

Far too many.

39. What does your last text message say?

People still text?

40. Last 5 things from your search history

‘Keep reading tag tumblr 2020′ GPCS Firebox steam jets Gravity Falls Wiki British Bangers American (long story) Amazon UK Saturnus Glogg

41. What's your [device] background?

Gorillaz.

42. What do you daydream about?

Probably story ideas!

43. Describe your dream home

A countryside cottage, with exposed wood beams, a bit of stained glass and a superb internet connection. A bath is a must.

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion

I’m atheist. I generally believe religion and faith in general is a heavily important part of the human condition, and if it makes it easier for people to live, so be it. However, I’ve no time for it completely taking over people’s lives and views. Your view on what’s moral and what’s just should be based upon human perspective, not what’s in a mistranslated ancient book.

45. Your personality type

I honestly forget.

46. The most dangerous thing you've done

Probably a brief stint urbexing.

47. Are you happy with your current life?

It’s always a work in progress. Always moving forward to an extent, but my cynical

48. Some things you've tried in your life

Uh. That’s a very vague question. I’ve tried most things and disliked many.

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

Lots of jumpers, tight fitting jeans, tons of band T-shirts, a selection of waistcoats, tailcoats, top hats and button up shirts.

50. Favourite colour to wear?

Red and / or black.

51. How would you describe your style?

Outdated, and anachronistic, no matter the occasion.

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

I hate how I look.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

Strip it off with a potato peeler, replace with Vincent Price.

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

Nope and nope.

55. Do you get complimented often?

More than I’d ever accept.

56. Favourite aesthetic?

Victorian Noir.

57. A popular trend that you dislike

Ear stretching. What’s all that about? I don’t understand.

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with?

With Love to an Ex by Gorillaz - Ft. Moonchild Sanelly.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

Paris to Berlin by Infernal.

60. Favourite genre?

Punk.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?

Gorillaz, easily.

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

I can’t stand Ed Sheeran. Most musicians I can dislike and go without hating, but I categorically despite the man and everything his work stands for.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5

I don’t use one of those shuffle-doo-hickies.

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can, but I’m exclusively terrible.

65. Do you like karaoke?

No.

66. Own any albums?

Over 1,500 at last count. About 250 physical.

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?

I don’t.

68. Favourite movie/series?

Oh god, I love so many movies.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc

Animated, detective, mystery, noir, horror, psychological, period.

70. Your fictional crush/es

I don’t have any. Genuinely.

71. Which fictional character is you?

M. Gustave from The Grand Budapest Hotel. With a sprinkling of Stan and Ford Pines.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so

Dipcifica from Gravity Falls. So much so that I’ve written a fairly successful series off of it.

73. Favourite greek god?

Gotta love Zeus. Lightning flinging prick.

74. A legend from where you live that you like

None very locally, but the Legend of the Chained Oak in Staffordshire is very close to my heart.

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist?

I fucking adore art, especially in comic books. Kev Walker is one of my all time favourite artists, matched very closely by Ben Willsher. I’d kill for that level of skill.

76. Can you share your other social media?

Instagram: Jamooneyart Twitter: Jamooneyart Deviantart: Jamooneyart That was easy.

77. Favourite youtubers?

Jim Can’t Swim, Ashens, Down The Rabbit Hole, Guru Larry and Internet Historian.

78. Favourite platform?

Platform 2 of York Railway Station. What?

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?

The majority of my fettered existence.

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite?

The Civ series, Sea of Thieves, OpenTTD, Planet Coaster, Planet Zoo, Railway Empire, Anno 1800...

My favourite is probably OpenTTD. I’ve pumped obscene amounts of time into it. Can’t beat the classics.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)

Gorillaz - Rise of the Ogre, The Disney Studios Story, The Hound of Baskervilles, To Kill a Mockingbird, Notes on Noses, Judge Dredd: Satan’s Island, Judge Dredd: Origins - Day of Chaos, Judge Dredd, The Lion’s Den, Judge Anderson of Psi Division: Fallen Angel, The Ultimate Guide to British Comics, Tank Girl: Odyssey...

82. Do you play board/card games?

If I’m in the mood.

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

No.

84. Favourite holiday

Christmas.

85. Are you into dramas?

Oh yes. But I do love drama mixed into a more evocative genre.

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?

Na.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

Erase bigotry.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Na.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

Cleuricaun. Those guys have a great gig.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Flytip my corpse, so I can inconvenience people one last time.

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

Albert.

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?

One of those twats who’s a millionaire from advertising shit on instagram.

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

Skull.

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

I’m 178 years old. I know how to juggle antique glass Tiffany lamps. I find these types of question very tedious.

95. Cold or hot?

Cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Be a neutral evil.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Sing.

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Controlling time.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Immune.

100. ..... or .....?

Wot.

#Jamooney Answers

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warsbled · 6 years ago

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under the read more are headcanons for melinda halliwell !!

under read more are melinda’s halliwells headcanons!!

honestly melinda has a really bad habit of just…. speaking out her ass. she doesn’t think and just blurts everything out. truly not her finest quality yikes!!!

melinda talks a lot with her hands especially when she’s angry. that’s it. thnxs for coming to my ted talk.

#* ✦ ╰ melinda halliwell — dossier !

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