#Conquerer is a really easy song to play too

[spencer-is-dead]

it would be funny if a posted a song cover or something on my YouTube channel, wouldn’t it

[riality-check]

tw for mentions of substance abuse (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7)

ao3

Steve Harrington has been awake for fifty four hours. With luck, he'll be able to eke out another eighteen. Three days seems to be the sweet spot, even if he only makes it there half the time and, of that half, it only works half the time.

It's better than nothing.

Maybe four days is the sweet spot. Ninety six is close to one hundred, and that seems like a good omen.

Omens don't really matter though. What matters is staying awake.

So, Steve chugs his coffee and walks into the conference room. Coffee isn't enough, not nearly, but it'll do until he gets desperate enough to take something.

He really does try to only take them when he's desperate. It's easier that way, to just do it when he feels like he needs to rather than measuring dosages and remembering times. Hours start to blur around hour forty of being awake.

He walks in, sits down in the chair closest to the door, and is met with a withering glare from Eddie Munson.

Listen. Steve isn't happy about this either, but at least he doesn't look like he stepped in dog shit on the way here. Then again, Steve doesn't have the luxury of ever looking truly unhappy.

Eddie is a rock star. Mean is part of his brand, while mean is the antithesis to Steve's.

Whatever.

"Are you kidding me?" Eddie says, still staring at him, but Steve knows he's not who he's asking.

"He's the best person for the job," Chrissy, Eddie's manager, says.

"We don't need him."

Someone taps Steve's left shoulder. He turns to see Jeff, the lead singer of Corroded Coffin, give him a warm smile.

"Nice to meet you, Steve," he says, and Steve shakes his proffered hand.

"Happy to help," he says, and it's only half a lie.

The drummer and the bassist - Steve would probably be able to remember their names if he wasn't so exhausted - wave their hellos from a few seats away.

"Hi, Steve," Chrissy says.

He takes another swig of his coffee and gives her a little wave in response.

"We don't need a pop singer to write lyrics for us," Eddie says, still not letting this go.

"Yes, you do," Steve says. He sets his coffee cup down on the table and opens the folder he brought with him. "I read through the lyrics of every one of your songs."

"You didn't even listen to them?"

"Would have taken too much time."

That's a lie. Listening, even with the lengthy guitar solos, probably would have taken less time. But Steve needs something to fill the hours when he's supposed to be asleep, and reading, that slow process with its ample, awakening frustration, is the perfect thing.

"You became so much less interesting after your first album," he says. "Every one of your songs talks about the same thing. Conquering evil, killing demons, blah blah blah."

"That's what's in right now," Eddie snaps.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve catches the drummer and Chrissy make the same motion. They pinch the bridges of their noses, clearly frustrated.

Steve sees why Chrissy wanted to talk to him.

"It is," he concedes. "But I also read the lyrics of every song by the bands with top ten hits. They don't talk about it nearly as much. They sing about other stuff. And they don't use an F major chord in every one of their songs."

"We don't-"

"We kinda do, Eddie," the bassist pipes up. "I'm a little sick of playing F."

Eddie takes a breath. Steve takes the opportunity to take a pill.

He found a way to make it less obvious for people who have something to say about it. Steve will take one from his pocket, yawn, cover his mouth, and swallow it dry. Easy peasy. They don't notice, he doesn't have to deal with people who don't get it making comments.

Except when he does, this time, Eddie narrows his eyes. Like he knows what he's doing.

Steve doesn't like that look.

"Have you read my stuff?" He won't ask if Eddie has listened to any of it. He knows the answer is no, if he keeps bringing up genre like that really means anything.

Eddie doesn't respond. He keeps those narrowed eyes trained on Steve and stays silent.

"Didn't think so," he says, and he slides over the thick stack of papers Robin stapled together for him last night. "Here's everything. Read it. Tell me if you like it. I'm only helping you if you give a shit. This goes two ways, and I don't want to waste my time if you think I'm wasting yours."

Eddie doesn't take the stack, but the drummer, sitting next to him, tugs them closer. "Thanks."

"Let me know tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Jeff says, eyebrows raised.

Steve forgets that most people don't actually take advantage of their twenty four hours.

"End of the week," he says instead, and he relaxes when Jeff does.

The drummer starts flipping through the pages while the bassist looks over his shoulder.

"Need anything else from me?" Steve asks Chrissy.

"I don't think so," she says. "I'll call you back to set up a time for Saturday."

He's amazed by the fact that someone as sweet as her works with someone as pretentious as Eddie.

"Sounds good," he says, and he walks out, trying to ignore the feeling of Eddie's eyes on him as he goes through the door.

It only halfway works.

The pill should kick in soon, within a half hour, maybe shorter because of the coffee. Maybe he'll write something. Maybe he'll work on the piano melody he's been tinkering with for the past week. Maybe he'll read the latest book Robin picked up from the library, something interesting enough to be worth the frustration of the moving letters, something that will still fill the time.

He'll make it to seventy two hours. Then he'll crash because his body is a worthless piece of shit, and he hopes this is the half of the time when he doesn't have any goddamn nightmares.

Maybe he should pop another pill, just in case.

[nanoa1foryou]

Translation for Kuumaa's interview with Etelä-Suomen sanomat, 27.7.2024

Kuumaa in a backstage interview: "Whichever show can be the best show"

The band has played in Lahti for the first time back in 2017. The memory from years back still awakens warm thoughts.

The halfway point of the toursummer has been passed. For some it might mean a sigh of relief, but not for the band Kuumaa.

– It was a wonderful realization to think that we have half of it still ahead. The summer is absolutely not over, Johannes Brotherus opens the band's feelings.

Brotherus is the singer of the band, founded in 2016. Jonttu Luhtavaara is responsible for the drums, Aarni Soivio plays the bass guitar. The songs the trio write together.

Joy to the toursummer is brought by "the bubble of positivity", that the band describes passing their summer tour in.

– We are incredibly happy for our touring group. We have on the road an exhilarating dynamic. Everyone is a bit different as people, but we still get along with everyone really well.

A part of the joy is of course brought by the performances and encounters with the audience.

– It's difficult to say what that perfection is exactly built from, since you can't break the show down onto an atomical level. Sometimes you just feel it, and often that feeling is mutual.

One of the warmest show memories of the band has to do with performing in Lahti. The year was 2017 and the release day of the debut single. Kuumaa performed in Lahti's Torvi as the warm up for Elias Gould and Kauriinmetsästäjät. The memory resurfacing gets the trio to smile a bit.

– You could be quite excited about small things then, about the feeling of going to a show and the opportunity to play elsewhere than our training room.

Later touring and being on the road has become a part of daily life for the band. The excitement to do has however remained.

"It is really inspiring and fun to mess together tour life and the songwriting world." Johannes Brotherus

– Whichever show can be the best show, the trio describes the attitude with which the conquer one stage after another.

The secret is in being present and being appropriately relaxed. The members of the band enjoy performing and when the being is genuine, the feeling is easy to convey to the audience. In the best case the presence of the band and the audience is mutual

– Some artists say that it doesn't matter what happens in the audience, but in our experience it matters a lot. Audiences are different so I think that adapting to the energy of the crowd is also really important.

Kuumaa's skill of being present isn't left unclear at Lahti's Headland-festival. The band smiles and takes contact with the audience. The speeches between songs seem spontaneous and without dragging on nor rushing. The set moves at the right pace.

Memorable encounters, those Kuumaa have had numerous over the tours. Whenever possible the band goes to see the people also on the other side of the festival fence, who may be too young to come to the festival.

– Those people might write us letters, which is incredibly heartwarming.

Another significant encounter had to do with a fan who travelled all the way from Poland. The fan had made the band a stuffed rabbit dressed in a Kuumaa skirt as a gift for the band, that can nowadays be found from Brotherus' home. Apparently they've yet to come up with a name, but it is being worked on.

At the Lahti show an encounter happens that stands out from the normal concert joy. In the audience a sign sways, wishing a happy name day to Aarni, the band's guitarist. Brotherus is not quite sure if the day of the performance really is his bandmate's name day, but concedes that everyone's name day comes eventually. Along with the well wishes the guitarist gets from the sign bearer a shirt decorated with pictures of different kinds of pickles, as he apparently likes them.

The vigorous tour summer means for the band thousands if not over 10 000 kilometers spent on the tour bus. The bus has become like a second home for the trio.

– Sitting on the bus doesn't have to be conscious sitting in a car. It's more like our livingroom.

People outside of the ten member core team rarely have any business getting on the tour home. The band did however recently invite for one stop photographer and video director Ari Virem. Brotherus remembers how Virem was at first totally quiet and looked around for a long while. Eventually he noted: "I find it incredibly moving how you are here, in the bus. Some staring out of the window, one reading a book and another biting their nails."

The description was fitting according to Brotherus. Everyone has an opportunity to do their own thing or to not do quite anything at all. You can be social, but you can also draw away and everyone respects it. The space is tight, so you have very little of your won space. Despite that being there is natural, even to the point that sometimes you lose track of time completely.

– Travelling on the tour bus is a kind of formless time. We're kind of travelling somewhere, but at the same time it feels that we're still.

The summer and the tour don't stop the making of new music, quite the opposite. The need to create new things remains, even if a busy festival summer is ongoing.

– It's really inspiring and fun to mess together tour life and the songwriting world. We try to dodge a too rigid being because both being on the road and writing new music are terribly natural ways for us to spend time.

Pieces for songs arise alone and separately. Studiodays are often marked on the calendar, but ideas are generated whenever feels good. Everyone collects ideas into their own baskets from what's around them and when the time is right the trio pours them out to their table ideas for everyone to inspect.

In the spring Kuumaa have planned a longer, spring long break from touring as a counter weight for two years of active touring. Though it's unlikely the trio can give up music.

– It's rare we've managed to spend months without making new music. It's in a way needed.

However they respond in a roundabout way when asked about releasing new music.

[twilightmalachite]

Animage June 2024 Issue: Interviews with the New Face Idols!

Translator: Mika Enstars

Proofreader: 310mc

Esu Sagiri

Q1. In one word, how would you describe your personality? A1. "Resilient!" perhaps? No matter the adversity, I keep moving straight towards my goal! A skill acquired from my adventures around the world, maybe? Q2. What’s something you often say? A2. Definitely has to be "The adventure begins", isn't that riiiiight! I gotta say it else the adventure won’t begin! ☆ Q3. Tell me your favorite motto! A3. My favorite motto is “There’s no time like the present”! You feel way more alive when you actually do the thing rather than think, right!? Yeah, I’m sure of it! Q4. What's your latest craze? A4. Lately, I’ve been super into making my own mixes of drinks at the drink bar to make new exciting flavors!!! Well, it fails more often than not, though! Q5. What was your first impression of Nice? A5. Ah~, that he has somewhat of a dazzling aura, like an idol? Something like that? Maybe? But well, when I talked to him, I feel like he was much more like a normal person than I thought! Q6. What do you keep in mind when choosing personal clothing? A6. Ease of movement comes first! I keep up on social media to see the latest trends too, but I’d like to ask everyone to see what kind of clothes you think look good on me! Tell me what you think! Q7. How would you like to spend long vacations (like summer vacation)? A7. Ah~, well, I was kinda on a vacation for a very long time already? But, I wanna go on BIG adventures like sailing a grand voyage on a yacht, conquering the five continents, or exploring the depths of the ocean in a submarine! Q8. What are you enthusiastic about for 4piece? A8. 4piece begins at last! I don’t have a clue what will happen in the slightest, but I, the symbol of energy Sagiri Esu, will do my very best! I hope for your support I am a man able to show his true spirit when the time calls for it…! Q9. Any message for our readers? A9. This was my first time being interviewed as an idol! Did you get to learn about me a little bit? Hehe, I’m looking forward to seeing you all on stage soon! I’d be happy if you could support me loads!!!

Ibuki Taki

Q1. In one word, how would you describe your personality? A1. Hmmm, I’m often told that I‘m “easygoing” and do things at my own pace”~? ‘Cause I don’t worry about the details and just do what I want~ Q2. What’s something you often say? A2. Nyahaha, nothing really comes to mind~? I feel maybe I’m often saying “I’ll sue you~” a lot, but that might just come from my American upbringing~? Q3. Tell me your favorite motto! A3. “Tomorrow will take care of itself”~.[1] Rather than worrying about the future, I let what happens happen and deal with things as they come~♪ Q4. What's your latest craze? A4. I’ve started studying composition lately~. I started out with making a simple song that I can sing while playing the guitar, and I’d like to be able to show it off it somewhere eventually~♪ Q5. What was your first impression of Nice? A5. When he first came up to me, I thought he was someone suspicious and nearly fought him off~. Nyahahaha, well, he’s a lively and bright person~? Q6. What do you keep in mind when choosing personal clothing? A6. Hmm… Well I choose based off of intuition~? I’m not all that interested in fashion, so honestly, I don’t really care ‘bout what I wear~, yeah~? Q7. How would you like to spend long vacations (like summer vacation)? A7. I’d like to spend my time taking it slow and easy, wandering around town, relaxing by the seaside, and such~♪ Soak up some sunlight, enjoy a nice steak... Nyahaha, now I feel like taking some time off~! Q8. What are you enthusiastic about for 4piece? A8. Well, 4piece is an audition shrouded in mystery~? I was invited all the way here from America, though, so now that I’m here, I’m gonna make sure to leave my claw marks in the soil~! Don’t underestimate my ability, m’kay~? Q9. Any message for our readers? A9. My name is Taki Ibuki! Born in Okinawa, raised in America~♪ I’ll prove you my worth, so keep your eyes on me, okay~! Nyahaha, if you support me, something good might happen, you know~?

Kanna Natsu

Q1. In one word, how would you describe your personality? A1. Hmm, perhaps it would be “bother-free”.[2] I can typically resolve things if I use my head, but it gets bothersome to spend effort on things of negligible importance. Q2. What’s something you often say? A2. “What a bother”. —Ahh, I’m not saying that this is a bothersome question to answer, just that it is likely something I often say. Q3. Tell me your favorite motto! A3. “Be self-reliant”… Maybe. It is troublesome to rely on others. I wish to think for myself and act accordingly to my own beliefs. Q4. What's your latest craze? A4.  There’s been a craze for developing new community tools recently. Set phrases like “So true” and “You know it”... They are fixed phrases anyone can use to communicate with each other. Q5. What was your first impression of Nice? A5. In one word, it would be “flashy”, perhaps. I was a little surprised when we first met, since he kept on talking without any consideration of me. Q6. What do you keep in mind when choosing personal clothing? A6. I select them based on functionality and fabric durability. And for the design as simple and unobtrusive as possible, so as to avoid attracting any attention. Q7. How would you like to spend long vacations (like summer vacation)? A7. I would like to immerse myself in research. I have an idea that I have been building for quite a long time, so I would like to give it a form and create a new invention. The nature of this invention is still a secret. Q8. What are you enthusiastic about for 4piece? A8. I am still an ignorant, inexperienced child. I hope that through 4piece, I will be able to thoroughly determine the path I am to take as an idol, and achieve results that exceed expectations. Q9. Any message for our readers? A9. Nice to meet you, my name is Natsu Kanna. Some of you might already know of me, but do please watch over me and see what kind of idol I will become in the future. I promise that you will not be disappointed; I am up to this challenge.

Fuyume Hanamura

Q1. In one word, how would you describe your personality? A1. Yume’s personality is difficult to express in one word. “Cute”, “devoted”, “kind”, “dedicated”… No matter how hard Yume thinks, Yume can’t pick just one…♪ Q2. What’s something you often say? A2. Yume doesn’t particularly have any catchphrases. If anyone notices Yume has a catchphrase, could you please let Yume know? Q3. Tell me your favorite motto! A3. Yume’s favorite motto is “have both the looks and the substance”… Yume wishes to become someone who not only appears outstanding, but is outstanding on the inside too. There are still things that are difficult for Yume, but Yume is doing Yume’s best♪ Q4. What's your latest craze? A4. Yume’s been super into the anime that is dominating this season. The heroine’s outfit is so cute, so Yume’s currently going around lots of craft stores so Yume can make a cosplay that recreates it perfectly. Q5. What was your first impression of Nice? A5. That he was tall and cool, but not Yume’s type. But, he’s a good person, isn’t he? Yume can introduce you to him…♪ Q6. What do you keep in mind when choosing personal clothing? A6. Yume uses trial and error to find a match for Yume’s personal style and body type. All the clothes Yume wears were made by Yume, so they are custom made and the only to exist in the world! Q7. How would you like to spend long vacations (like summer vacation)? A7. Yume would like to spend Yume’s time with Esu♪ Go to a new cafe and eat cake, or go watch a movie... Yume hasn't had much of a chance to go together with him lately, so Yume’s a little lonely. Q8. What are you enthusiastic about for 4piece? A8. Ahh, 4piece, huh… Yume decided to participate so Yume could spend more time with Esu, but Yume still doesn’t really know what the program is about. But, Yume would like to show everyone Yume’s world of dreams…♪ Q9. Any message for our readers? A9. Was everyone able to learn more about Yume now? Yume would be happy if you could take Yume to a sparkling world, like a princess in a fairy tale. Everyone’s cooperation will be needed in order to achieve that, right? Thank you, for all your support...♪

Raika Hojo

Q1. In one word, how would you describe your personality? A1. My personality? Hmm, I’m often called “innocent”! I can’t really figure out what about me is so “innocent”, though…? Q2. What’s something you often say? A2. I’m told a lot that the stuff I say, or more like, the way I speak is a lil’ strange... But, but, I’ve always thought it was normal, huh~ huuuh~...? Q3. Tell me your favorite motto! A3. What my favorite motto is? Hmmm, I’ll go with “stealin’ is bad”! ‘Cuz I was told off about it a lot at the facility, and was told to memorize it by writin’ it over on paper. Q4. What's your latest craze? A4. Eheehee, I’ve been real into “pizza-manjuu”, which I learned about recently! The fluffy dough and the gooey cheese that comes out from the bun makes me feel happy...♪ Q5. What was your first impression of Nice? A5. Hmmm, my first impression… I’m sorry, I’m a birdbrain so I don’t remember much of anythin’…! I’ll let you know if I remember anythin’, but, he’s a kind guy who will talk to me! Q6. What do you keep in mind when choosing personal clothing? A6. Anythin’ that’s easy to move in and feels good against the skin...♪ Maybe I should be more conscious of my clothes ‘cuz I’m gonna become an idol, but I dunno what I gotta do...! Q7. How would you like to spend long vacations (like summer vacation)? A7. I came from the countryside, but there’s someone I’ve always looked up to. And I’ve heard of somewhere where I could meet them. That’s where I’d like to go! Q8. What are you enthusiastic about for 4piece? A8. For someone like me who likes singin’, 4piece is a big event! The thought that this is my first step in becomin’ an idol is real exciting to me…♪ I’ll be makin’ every effort not to be outdone by the other competitors! Q9. Any message for our readers? A9. I never thought there'd be a day where I get to be interviewed like this! I’ll become an idol that will be recognized by everyone, and deliver many songs to you all! Please look forward to them…♪

Nice Arneb Thunder

Q1. In one word, how would you describe your personality? A1. “Sociable”, I’d say. I feel the dialogue you have with someone in conversation is important; it allows for the possibility to get an idea of what their personality is and what it is they keep to themselves. Q2. What’s something you often say? A2. Of course, it would have to be “Nice”! Hehe, quite a nice catchphrase, isn’t it? Q3. Tell me your favorite motto! A3. “Never lose infinite hope”.[3] No matter what hardship you may face, if you give up there, nothing will remain. I wish to cherish the “hope” that is within me. Q4. What's your latest craze? A4. Hm, lately, or rather for the past couple years, my craze has been rice curry! A balance of spices, with a little secret ingredient… Just a little ingenuity reveals the chef’s thinking. Sometimes I cook it for myself, too♪ Q5. What do you expect from these five idols? A5. These are promising new faces I’ve encountered in all sorts of places! I invited them to participate in 4piece because of something nice and sparkly I saw within them, and I greatly look forward to seeing what kind of brilliance they will show us! Q6. What do you keep in mind when choosing personal clothing? A6. Oh yes, I make sure to consider time, place, and occasion to dress appropriately for work and my private life. My suit for the program? Ahh, very nice, isn’t it? I aimed to make an impact with it. Q7. How would you like to spend long vacations (like summer vacation)? A7. Unfortunately, I haven’t taken a long vacation for quite a while… I suppose it would be nice to watch a live as an ordinary fan once in a while. Do you have any recommendations for live shows to go to? Q8. What are you enthusiastic about for 4piece? A8. This unprecedented audition is being held at long last! As the chief executive, I vow to draw out the brilliance of these idols and show you a world you have never seen before! Q9. Any message for our readers? A9. Hehe, nice to meet you. This is Nice Arneb Thunder! I’m sure many of you kids are anticipating what kind of program 4piece will be! Let us follow the lives of these idols and witness their brilliance, together! I look forward to spending time with you all!

Translation Notes:

This saying in Japanese is "明日()は明日()の風()が吹()く", "tomorrow, the winds of tomorrow will blow", which includes a kanji from his first name, 維吹 (Ibuki).

The word he uses here is 面倒くさ���り, which more accurately means "someone who tends to find things bothersome", but I tried to make it into a single word to fit with the question prompt.

This is actually part of a quote by Martin Luther King Jr., "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

[lokisasylum]

I'm sorry but 🐰 is so FAKE!

"My future changed because of it. If I hadn't done this project I would probably still be in bed, eating and watching cartoons"?????

As if he and everyone at Hybe didn't know since months PRIOR how his debut was gonna go down, like that Hybe staff (and Jimin anti) that got caught on DC Gallery talking smack during Jimin's debut about JK's single, because they all knew it had already been BOUGHT thanks to 🛴 & Bongo.

[Reminder that ALL Suchwita episodes are pre-recorded months PRIOR to present events]

Also the way he stated:

"I'm Korean , but I'd like to be the one and only singer who can cross back and forth between k pop and pop songs I'm gonna conquer all genres if I could " "one and only singer"... one and only singer to do WHAT when OTHERS have already done it BEFORE YOU??? (Shinhwa? Ailee??? Hello???) He'll never be the "first and only", "one and only", JUST THE PRIVILEGED ONE.

But you know what really gets on my tits? Its the way he toyed with the fandom's emotions through vlive acting out this story of the mistreated, neglected member that was too scared to ask the company for permission to come on vlive to talk to army, so he asked one of his hyungs to cover for him and "take the blame".

And then continued his little sob-story of "Oh I haven't left my apartment in over 3 weeks. All I do is eat takeout and sleep and play with my dog 🥹 please pity me." Getting so drunk that he passed out like twice (with a whole ass candle still lit) and coincidentally SOMEONE who was already inside the apartment would turn off the live (IF there was a staff with him at all times while recording, why did they let him get so drunk to the point of passing out? )

Then came the rebellious, child tantrums at his own hyungs asking him to take it easy with the drinking live (consequentially bringing hate against said members and his solo stans applauding this behavior as him "standing up for himself & doing what he wants" and how "respect has to be earned").

Then came the sasaeng scare, the "Please don't follow me to the gym where I work out every day, that scares me buuhuu 😭." And again getting drunk "to show how upset he is" by the whole situation, causing more unnecessary concern (a.k.a creating morbid anticipation and more people tuning in to the circus show).

But the live that really took the cake was when he first failed to hide the very obvious vape that was literally on top of the table in a very obvious pink color (like his hoodie) that many quickly identified, then another sob story, then FINALLY came the TEARS, acting like he was about to say goodbye to the fandom for the last time with the perfectly executed: "Please be happy, even if I'm not here." before ending the live and sending the fandom into a frenzy of "omg poor kookie, he's suffering so much" and "omg what if he harms himself???"

Everyone was SHITTING themselves on the TL, expecting the worst to happen.... only for Hybe to share a post from CK with a clip ready to announce that JK had been named Global Bran Ambassador to CK, with this huge promo, a whole ass video, photos, posters, an interview, the whole she-bang.

And suddenly... he was fine? Did another live like NOTHING happened? And the ones that followed??? Suddenly he was this refined model for CK that actually gave a shit about his image? Ya'll cannot convince me that this man was not gaslighting the FUCK outta the fandom through this whole shit-show while 🛴& Bongo finished up securing his achievement$ & po$ition on the chart$ before officially announcing his debut (despite having announced a month prior that another member would debut instead).

Even Jimin called him out on his BS during that live in the car after one of the music shows where outta the blue he interrupted the live saying he was gonna go watch Jimin perform live, as if he didn't know that Jimin's promotions had ended that very day.

Like atp I just feel pity for his stans 'cause they're SO NAIVE that they believe everything he says to the point of creating this false narrative that JK was the one who actually got sabotaged on his debut and received the shortest debut/promo time compared to Jimin. When the cold hard truth is that everything he got was thanks to all the MONEY 🛴 & Hybe invested on him.

[azures-bazar]

Heavenly

My god this one was a tough one ! Writing smut content in another language feels hardcore, I'm sorry if it came out disastrous. It was a serious challenge for me !

Despite being mostly inspired by Cigarette After Sex's song, I wrote all the "hot" parts while listening to Spring 1 from Max Richter. Made me feel inspired as I'll be probably using this tune for my wedding :')

Please excuse my awful mistakes and probably wrong words, English is not my first language.

Arthur Morgan x Female!Reader 

Word count : 2.8k

Short summary : The party is now over, but Arthur wanted some privacy. Instead of coming back to camp, you spend a night at the Bastille saloon. 

Warnings : ⚠️ 18+ please if you’re a minor DON’T READ ⚠️ overall sexual tension, nsfw, smut, undressing, unprotected sex, explicit content, fingering, spanking, equal dominance

A/Note : Part 2 of Fairest of Them All !  

Tags : historical underwear, Arthur loves you, fluff, he does it calmly, mutual trust, passionate love, consent, cigarettes after sex (literally)

******

"You sure ?" Dutch asked. "It should be better for you two to get back to camp."

"We’re gonna be fine, Dutch." Arthur answered. "Night’s gonna be short anyway."

Arthur had spent about ten or fifteen minutes trying to convince Dutch not to drag the two of you back to Shady Belle. He did not want to come back, not after this boost of hormones had occurred since he had seen you in your beautiful red dress. At first, he had been conquered by your beauty, your gesture, your attitude. But things had escalated quickly when he kissed you so passionately in the Mayor’s office, as his hand firmly gripping your left thigh. Only Bronte’s man dragged him out of his deepest desire to have you for himself on the desk, he was doing his best not to show anything to Dutch, Hosea and Bill. Actually, the latter had already noticed the way Arthur acted, widely smiling while blushing, his eyes twitching, discretely wiggling his hips. 

"I want the two of you back to camp tomorrow." Hosea said, staring at you, somewhat aware of what was about to happen

"We’ll be back in no time." you smiled 

"Don’t worry, ‘Sea." Arthur chuckled as you placed your hand over his arm 

"I’m always worried when the two of you aren’t around. Please, don’t get into trouble." 

You and Arthur nodded as you got inside a stagecoach. You quickly gathered your large skirt in order to allow Arthur to come in, he sat in front of you after telling your destination to the coachman. You could tell how much Hosea was worried about the two of you not coming back to camp, but Arthur’s decision was taken out of respect for all gang members. He did knew this night was going to be yours. Despite you and Arthur had made your best  efforts not to make your relationship too obvious, most folks knew that you were not playing chess with Arthur when the two of you were in his bedroom. You already had time to try deeper pleasures with him, and John was the first to complain about how noisy you two were. 

"Well, m’lady, tonight’s your night." Arthur smiled

"Our night."

Arthur nodded. The two of you remained somewhat quiet in the stagecoach until arriving at the Bastille Hotel, a short journey which only lasted for about ten minutes or so. Nobody really paid attention to you going inside the saloon. You would have wanted to have access to the upstairs rooms by taking an outside staircase, but there was no much choice. Arthur left you alone for a few seconds, quickly renting the room for a few dollars, grabbing you under his arm to lead you upstairs. Right after you approached the door leading to your room, Arthur proceeded closing the corridor’s large velvet curtains, allowing you some more privacy and an easy access to the bathroom, quickly kissing you on his way to your room’s entrance.  

"After you, Miss." Arthur opened the door

You walked in, trembling of excitement. You shivered as you heard Arthur come inside, closing the door behind you, feeling this absolute need to jump on him and passionately live this night without even regretting it. You had struggled so much during this evening, the single sight of Arthur wearing his beautiful tuxedo suit, his hair perfectly brushed and his beard trimmed for the occasion made it hard for you not to, at least, clap your hand on his bum. Arthur would not have minded, he enjoyed it anytime you did it.

Arthur locked the door, moving behind you with a large smile. After kissing the back of your neck, he carefully untied the back of your bodice, making sure not to tear it apart. It would have been a shame to ruin with such a beautiful dress ! He wanted you to wear it again, knowing you would look fantastic whenever you would put it on. Arthur then proceeded taking your skirt and two petticoats off, making his way to the crinoline, feeling a little frustrated.

"Christ sake." he grumbled as he untied the ribbon holding your crinoline, making it fall on the ground

"What’s wrong ?" 

"Why do they keep ‘em women under so many layers ?" 

His remark made you smile, you turned around as soon as you knew you there was nothing much left to take off anymore but your corset, drawers and chemise. Arthur’s eyes were shining, so many emotions made their way to you ! His smile made you burn from the inside, you could not help but calmly place your hand between his legs, causing him to bite his lower lip as you lightly clenched your fist on his crotch, finding it aroused, causing him to moan. 

"You’ve been such a good boy tonight…" you smiled

"Ain’t that right, girl… now lemme get this corset off so we can have some fun." 

"Don’t feel pressured to do so." 

"I ain’t pressured, ‘would be a shame to have you hurt tonight." 

Arthur gently turned you around for you to face the bed, proceeding to carefully untie your tight corset. He did not understand how you, women, could breath under such a tool, whale-boned shift, making some of you faint on occasions ! You sighed of relief when Arthur untied the laces of your golden corset, turning around to allow him open the iron busk, it took him quite some time. In fact, Arthur was trembling as he could no longer hold it any longer, and the excitement of having you before him, only for him, without the pressure of the rest of the gang, felt like real freedom. This was going to be his night, your night. He even smiled as you moaned one more time as the corset fell on the ground. 

"My god, Y/N." he said, totally charmed. "You’re so beautiful…"

"Is that so ?" you smiled, proceeding to take your drawers off 

"I wouldn’t be there otherwise."

You smiled, Arthur quickly took his jacket off and threw it aside, tearing his bowtie apart, not even able to hold his excitement. You helped him take unbuttoning his vest, then his shirt, carefully moving to his pants and his union suit. Oh, dear ! You had probably never seen Arthur so aroused by your presence, and this was not even the first time the two of you had sex ! Arthur threw what was left of his clothes on the ground, lifting your chemise, leaving the two of you completely naked. You turned your head up as your left hand gripped onto his crotch area. 

"Show me what you got there, sweetheart." he smiled, gently pressing his large hands on your breasts

"Sure thing." you groaned, bitting your lower lip as you tightened your grip onto his groin 

Arthur moaned again and calmly pushed you on the bed. He wanted it to be memorable, he wanted it to be beautiful. He wanted it to be perfect, harmless, fun and relaxing. He wanted to give himself to you. Two of his fingers made their way down to your clit, he rubbed it in such a gentle way that you could not help but shiver and spread your legs widely to greet what was to come. These two fingers made their way inside you, leading you to moan loudly. 

"You’re alright there, girl." Arthur said, climbing on the bed to be over you 

You did not even realise Arthur was often saying this same sentence to his mare… it did not matter much. You were his girl. His unique, perfect, adorable girl, just like he was your boy, your man. Your hands started playing with his groin, moving back and forth as Arthur did his best to stay focused on pleasing you. It tickled so much that you could not stop your waist from lightly wiggling back and forth. You wanted more, you could not deny it, neither could Arthur.

"Easy there girl." Arthur cooed 

He bent down a little to cover your chest with kisses, gently bitting your nipples before allowing his whole body started rubbing yours. He held himself to badly, not wanting to finish this special night of yours without, at least, getting inside of you. His tongue drew circles in your neck as you grabbed his hair. You passionately kissed him as soon as he looked into your eyes. Nothing could beat this moment between the two of you. These cellos the two of you had danced on still played in your heads in a heavenly manner. You were caught into a marvellous symphony, the symphony of your love. 

"I love you, Morgan." you huffed 

"I love you too, Y/N." 

Arthur was quick to rise a little, allowing his groin to make his way inside of you. You left out a loud moan and Arthur started swinging back and forth above you, gently enough not to harm you. Your very first time with him had been quite rough as you did not really had the opportunity to know more of each other in terms of sex, he was completely panicked when you told him it was painful. In no way was he going to do the same mistake. This was your night. 

"Good girl." Arthur whispered

You started sweating as Arthur moaned above you, kissing you so passionately while rhythmically moving his hips for you to feel him inside you. You adored it, every moment of it. Such moments were heavenly. He was so gentle with you, but skilled enough to made you reach what was close to an orgasm. You kept moaning, spreading your legs wide for Arthur to perform other moves than a classic set of thrusts. In fact, you even told Arthur to switch positions by giving him a loud spank.

"There, boy." you smiled, giving Arthur a taste of his own medicine. "Lemme take the lead."  

Arthur bit his lower lip, moving back a little. Between two kisses, he proceeded lying beneath you, allowing you to take the lead. He secretly enjoyed letting you be above him, he loved sharing his dominance with you. When you were over him, he was at your entire mercy, helpless, unable to leave… and he loved that. Your boy, a thirty-six year old man ready to do anything to please you. 

You crouched above him and started moving up and down, making sure you contract all your pelvic muscles contracted enough to make Arthur feel more pressure and excitement. You saw him ecstatically moan as one his hands clung onto his pillow while the other one held you by the hip, begging you to keep going while bitting his lower lip. You felt like burning when you notice his sweaty face, his arched eyebrows and a slight dribble of saliva at the corner of his half-opened mouth.

"Ah, darlin’…" he moaned 

"Yes, cowboy ?" 

"I want you so badly… so, so badly…!"

You kept moving up and down as Arthur’s moans got louder, causing you to refrain yourself. You bent over to kiss him, he bit your earlobe afterwards. You felt like you were about to enter in the most beautiful and relaxing trance, better than the ones you experience when being drunk. Arthur moaned as you wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth. 

"Let’s try something else…" you said, some pain in your thighs. "My legs hurt…"

"Sure thing, darlin’…"

Arthur helped you moving aside and settled you back beneath him, proceeding to lift your legs above his broad shoulders while moving inside of your vagina with a loud moan. The heat coming from your fusing bodies had invaded the room as you two had been enjoying yourselves for over than thirty minutes. You kept moaning, begging him to keep going as your fists clenched on the cotton and brocade bedsheets beneath you. Arthur’s rhythmic  thrusts almost made you reach it. Reach seventh heaven. 

"Aah, I’m close… I’m close…" you groaned

"H-hold on for me, sweetheart… hold on…!"

Holding on was the best the two of you could do to make this night even more memorable ! Arthur kept going as you could no longer contract your pelvic muscles, he went faster than before. You kept sweating, your moans turning into screams of pleasure you could not even hold anymore. You felt Arthur’s hardened groin move deeper into you, it made you drool. Bubbles and butterflies invaded your stomach as you were about to climax, still doing your best not to start squirting, clenching your fists enough to avoid this moment to reach its end. 

"Almost… a-almost…!" Arthur groaned 

Arthur's groin felt larger than ever, he did his best not to cum, he did not want to give up yet. However, after some more seconds holding it, he lost control of his own cock, unable to keep going, giving you a last thrust while screaming himself. The two of you shared an orgasm at the same time, moaning so loudly that some people of the saloon might have felt alerted by the noise coming from your room. Arthur moved away from you, his cock still hardened, struggling to remain on all fours as you were heavily panting beside him. He wanted to look at you, admire you. He fell on the bed beside you, lying there for a few minutes. 

"Damn it, that was good." you groaned 

He proudly nodded, happy of what the two of you had given each other that night. Arthur was the first to get up, trying his best to calm his emotions down as he gently invited you to go to the bathroom. You shifted from the bed, not even bothering about being naked, grabbing his hand as the two of you made your way to the bathroom across the corridor. You did not expect him to have paid for a bath, but in no way could you imagine sleeping in your own sweat. 

The tub was large enough to fit the two of you. Before coming in, Arthur proceeded smoking a cigarette. It was mostly a routine, having a cigarette each time you had sex. He quickly joined you, feeling the need to wash away all this sweat covering him from hair to toes. Arthur felt relaxed by looking at you, gently applying the sponge on your shoulders. At this moment, despite feeling overwhelmingly exhausted, he just wanted to look at you for the rest of the night. Your cheeks were still a little red after having sex, Arthur could not help but smile at you while winking. 

"You’re beautiful." he whispered 

"You’re sayin’ this because you’re tired." 

"Nah, I’m honest. You’re really beautiful." 

You blushed, unable to face Arthur who is about to make your heart melt with his puppy eyes and his smile. He noted your sudden shy attitude, acknowledging you were completely charmed by him. 

"How should I call you now ?" he asked. "Miss Viola Bronte ? Miss Y/N Y/SN ? Or maybe Mrs. Kilgore ?"

"M-mrs. Kilgore ?" you stuttered  

"I think these names suit you… even if I believe the best fit would be Mrs. Y/N Morgan." 

Your eyes widely opened as you were not sure about what Arthur just said, shrugging a little while looking into his eyes. You were not sure about how you could react to such thing. Mrs. Morgan almost sounded like a marriage proposal ! 

"I… I like Mrs. Morgan." you smiled 

"Me too. Suits you well."

Arthur felt happier than even. What he had just told you was a way for him to ask if you would have wanted to be more than a casual love interest. He wanted to know if you would go beyond your current relationship, take a step further. And you said yes, you did. But he was certainly going to make another move on a future occasion for you to have your mind cleared out. He had already bought everything on purpose. 

You unexpectedly fell asleep while bathing. Arthur sighed as he looked at you, rubbing your eyes while being woken up each time your head was falling forward. He got you out of the bathroom, wrapping you into some warm towels the saloon could provide you, kissing the top of your head while making his way back to your bedroom, carefully avoiding to be spotted naked with you firmly held against him. He kept you close to him, holding you onto his chest as he snuggled beneath the blankets, kissing your forehead. It woke you up a little. 

"Get back to sleep, sweetheart." Arthur cooed

You looked at him for a second or two before your eyelids felt heavier than before, nuzzling against Arthur’s chest. He felt tired too, yawning a little while rubbing you hair behind your ear. 

"Sweet dreams, Mrs. Morgan." Arthur whispered 

Mrs. Morgan. 

Mrs. Morgan.

[fieldofdaisiies]

gwyn x balthazar | ~800 words | warnings: none | masterlist

The temple below the House of Wind is being bedecked with flowers of every variety, mostly in the colours of Gwyn’s Invoking Stone and Balthazar’s siphons, enchanted against wilting, as well as silks and lace and candles and garlands —all of it paid for by Rhysand and Nesta. 

"It is beautiful," Gwyn whispers and clasps Nesta’s hand in hers. 

"So are you," her best friend says and turns to Gwyn with a bright smile on her lips. "You are glowing. You look stunning, Gwyn."

"It is the bond." Gwyn blushes a little. But Nesta shakes her head. "No. Maybe partly it is the bond, but what makes you really glow is your happiness."

A happy sigh leaves Gwyn. Nesta is right. Her happiness has found her again and Balthazar has probably played the biggest role in it. He made her find her love for her life again. He made her see all the good things in the love, the beauty of the small and simple things. And he showed her how beautiful love can be. How beautiful intimacy is. How gentle love can be. He has given her a home, more than in the literal sense of the word. 

"Do you know if he is here yet?“

"Upstairs with Cassian and Azriel. Ready and waiting. Apparently Nyx puked on our High Lord that's why he and his family are a little late."

Gwyn’s face forms a grimace, but soon turns into a big and bright smile. It feels like a warm breeze, his presence tangible before he is even close enough for her to see him. But she can feel him, feel his closeness through the bond and then—

Her breath catches in her throat. Balthazar is always beautiful, but now, that he is clad in a suit made of dark blue fabric, his curls neatly combed back and secured at the nape of his neck with a leather strap, and his siphons aglow on his shoulders, the only words to describe him are stunning, cruel beauty. 

The suit he got from Emerie. And speaking of her, alongside Thena and Morrigan and also Fiara, the Illyrian female follows after Balthazar. But Gwyn only has eyes for her mate. 

His lips part in silent admiration, too stunned to speak when he reaches for her hands. Gwyn is breathtaking and for a moment her appearance renders him speechless. 

"You look absolutely stunning,“ the young Illyrian whispers after a moment and leans in to brush his lips against her forehead. 

"You do," she hums, tipping her head back so she can meet his eyes, warm chocolate and teal clashing. "My mate." Their souls hum in unison, singing a love song of the most beautiful melody.

Once High Lord and Lady and the heir to the Night Court have arrived, the ceremony is about to begin. 

Standing atop the dais, they first swear their vows, repeating those things they have already told each other many times before - to always value, honour and respect their mate, to always share everything with their love, to never not let the other in, to always be there for the other. To always love one another. 

Then they once again offer each other food and lastly, their friends and family, bind their hands together with a length of black ribbon, to remain until the mating is consummated.

Lastly, it is Fiara who gifts Gwyn a family heirloom, an old ring that has been in the family for centuries, the colour of the same as her Invoking Stone. 

It truly has been fate. Their love. Their mating bond. 

The celebration continues at a small estate in the heart of Velaris - a gift from the High Lord for Gwyn and Balthazar to stay when they are here in Velaris. A place for them to stay when they are not in Windhaven. Leaving the Library was not an easy step, but something that Balthazar made possible. Something that no longer seems scary and intimidating, rather something that brings her joy. 

The future is no longer scary, no matter what is awaiting them. No matter that the threat of Koschei still lurks in the days and months to come. She knows that with Balthazar at her side, and her friends and family in her life, they can conquer everything. They won't lose or be defeated. They will win. Whatever is about to come.  

Slowly, the sway to the music, nothing but the clear sky and the stars above them. Silent chatter and a music reaches them from the house, where their friends are gathered. 

"You enchanted me the first time I saw you," Balthazar says and brushes his hand over her head, down the length of her copper hair. Gwyn tilts her head back, looking up at him. "I fell in love with your eyes, your smile. But it was your kindness and determination, your strength, your wit and your purely good soul and willingness to take on the things that scare you, that won my heart. I am the proudest male in this universe to call you mine. And the luckiest. I love you, Gwyneth Attas. Valkyrie, Carynthian, Lady of Windhaven, priestess. My mate.“

His hands cradles her face, thumbs stroking her cheek. And he kisses her. 

"And I love you, Balthazar. More than words could ever describe, my mate."

~~~~~~~ tag list: @a-frog-with-a-laptop @brekkershadowsinger @moonlightazriel @callmeblaire @headcanonheadcase @waternymphia @autumndreaming7 @devilsfoodcake22 @readercacau @sv0430 @bubybubsters @cyntia-ktn @honeysuckle-daydreams13

[alyjojo]

May 🏋🏻 2024 Monthly - Leo

Preshuffle: Life is boring, everything is monotonous, it may feel like the same thing day in and day out, for a time. You’re getting cranky. A solution to this is being chosen by you, but it may not be the best option, especially if it’s something you’d be afraid for others to know about.

Meditation: As a lion 🦁, you were coming up on a “rabbit hole” 🕳️ that actually was more like a giant pit. A pit made for a lion even, it was big enough. Who knows how far it went down? You were moseying about, minding your business, when you found the hole and became curious. Coming right up to it, the edges of the ground started to give way, and you ended up nearly falling in, clinging to the top with your claws. You needed help, but didn’t want to call out for it, because then someone would know you were nosing about where you shouldn’t have been.

Main energy: 2 Pentacles

Look…you’re not going to like this, but as I’m laying down the cards, The Devil, Disturbance, Final Sunset…other cards are showing me that Spirit’s message here is “lighten up.” And then that “Why you always in a mood?” song started playing. So yeah, Taurus energy is likely to get under your skin this month. Things are going too slow, you could feel like you’re waiting on everything - not just one thing. Everywhere is an excuse or a hold-up, everything costs too much or it’s unavailable, at some point you’re gonna get pretty snippy in general - but may take it out on someone in particular. Someone lighthearted, playful, flirty, trying to *poke the bear* aka you, for a smile 😊 Not a meltdown. But…shit happens. The pressure is building for you this month. 2 Pentacles shows a lot going on and you’re constantly busy. You can’t see change in the future, it’s like there is nothing to look forward to? That’s the real problem here. Some of you may be entertaining several options in the dating department - and so far no one has really tickled your fancy to progress with. Or, someone may have treated you as a casual option, and you’re fit to be tied about it.

What’s going on in May:

The Devil:

One of two stories here. Either you’ve successfully battled your demons and put an end to a toxic situation or relationship in your life, standing your ground and making clear decisions on what you will and won’t put up with. The Devil isn’t reversed, so it’s still a process that hasn’t completed, but under the deck a bit - Strength is here. Your energy, which conquers any Devils that may try. You’re getting there, some of you may have dealt with some serious addictions or issues, and you can see them for what they are. Even if it’s your own attitude, you’re aware. Doesn’t make it easy! Temperance would show patience & coasting along day to day, just getting through it being necessary. Not what you want to hear though.

The other story is a connection which may have been hot 🔥 passionate, centered around sex & attraction most likely, that’s since ended. Or it’s died out - if you’re still seeing them, I’m not seeing an ending. This person makes you feel alive, excited, all of the fun and mischevious kind of energy you’re seeking - but they are defensive, have reasons not to engage, or are otherwise not making any effort to change the situation. You’re the one dissatisfied, and also the one that has to fix it, or listen to excuses on why it can’t be better than it is. This could be a repeating pattern in your life. Getting with someone and then getting bored? You could be opening up a little black book again. Just to see. Playing with fire.

Temperance:

Spirit is telling you to chill. Be content for now. There’s a vibe of like…you’ve got it good, and whatever this is isn’t serious enough to potentially have a negative effect on - should you make some kind of reckless or impulsive move - which you’re tempted to, because it’s FUN. Yes fun please. You’re not happy with things exactly how they are…7 Swords at the bottom of the deck, some of you are calming yourself down so you *don’t* do anything for the sake of today, that you’ll have to pay for tomorrow. Some are absolutely up to something. Or maybe just considering it. Little black book has Wyatt - wonder if they’re single? “It can’t hurt.” It’s that vibe, whatever it is. Could involve substances. You seek to live a little dangerously and take some kind of risk - even if it’s just being entertained in your mind. Temperance doesn’t ACT immediately, but can also be resolution & compromise should you try getting in touch with some old friends/something. You want some 🔥 excitement but aren’t willing to hurt anyone or get into shit that’s going to cost you - 2 Pentacles is weighing options (or people?) and deciding what you want - or you’ll need to.

The Wheel of Fortune:

This situation could be karmic for someone, you or someone in particular, could be a Capricorn. After so much time goes by, with one person messing with the other one’s head or entertaining other options perhaps, or just other things - the other things are always more important - they could be the one that’s “not chosen.” Makes sense. This person may have been waiting for drama, worries, hurt, and instead got what they asked for - no cooperation or solid decisions from you. Or that’s switched. “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” If not that, then you could feel a lack of cooperation generally, maybe at work above everything else, and it’s draining your energy. Same shit, different day, you’re waiting for progress that never comes and it’s got you feeling pissy. You’re not wrong, something’s gotta give. 2 Pentacles isn’t a sustainable energy, you can’t stay on top of your game and everyone else’s game forever, it’s too much. Or it’s taking too long for your priorities to be *the* priorities, you could do that.

King of Pentacles:

Clarified by Queen of Wands (you), The Fool, The Hermit, and Strength. Chariot at the bottom. All major arcana, this is a serious change you may impulsively decide on that leaves you feeling alone. Or that’s switched. Maybe you impulsively decide to be alone in the first place, enough is enough, this person doesn’t prioritize you in the way that you need. You feel discarded, bored, not celebrated, nothing is going anywhere. So fk it, you’ll be alone then 🤷 I get a stubborn and negative mindset from you greatly affecting this decision. I’m not seeing consistent effort or communication even - being put into changing a dynamic, more like a lot of waiting and expecting…which isn’t working out. Might want to let someone else know what you’re expecting if that’s the route we’re taking here. Or that’s switched. If there’s a lack of cooperation in response, it feels deserved. For some this is regarding work too, you could suddenly decide to NOT give as much effort. Suddenly you’re taking vacations, declining clients, making space for yourself to breathe, where before you probably went too hard at 1000. You can’t stay at 1000 and nothing is changing, you now get 500, congratulations - whoever/whatever.

Page of Wands:

This is happy & excitable communication, maybe someone is trying to make you laugh or lighten you up, “it’s not that serious.” And they’re kinda right, it’s maybe not, but your feelings aren’t being honored by someone, love, work, whatever, and so how you respond to that is kinda on them. They may not understand it though, nor will they give you the reaction you seem to be baiting them for. Or this is switched. Someone is attempting to reach out and communicate, the other person is not “in the mood,” to talk, but they’re still watching what you’re doing, saying, etc. Snow Leopard shows needing time, The Hermit needs time, this all is showing it’s already been plenty of time - maybe others have wasted - so take all of the time you need.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Capricorn, Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio, Aries & Leo

Oracle: ✨

Disturbance 👀

Obscure - Irritation - Supernatural

Stubbornness 😤

Selfness - Mulish Attitude - Arrogance

Snow Leopard 🐆

“Take some time out of your usual life and spend it in solitude.”

It can be difficult to spend time in solitude these days, to unplug from electronics and get into nature, or off by yourself, if only for a few hours. Although you may feel anxious or restless when you first do this, you’ll relax. Use this time for contemplation and meditation, it’s not isolation, it’s solitude. If possible, take a full day off to yourself, and do whatever you want to do. Enjoy the feeling of sacred space around you in solitude, and know you’re never alone.

We enter into May as:

Salmon Chairs 🌷

“Come sit in my chair and feel my love”.

People, places and events are being drawn to you beyond your wildest imagination. Aim higher, for you will draw even greater experiences into your life. It is time to step up to the next level. All “things” are energy and will be drawn to you when you allow your energy to grow. The Salmon Chairs is being brought to you as a gift, to raise your faith and self esteem. It is a gentle and profound change in the way one relates to themselves, and the world. We create the life we feel we deserve. Often we feel we must do something to prepare, yet Salmon Chairs says “Stay in the light of truth, meditate, and relax - if you drink in the light and allow spiritual wealth, you will be surrounded by material wealth.” This is about subtle action, and receiving is an action. You are being told to sit still and receive the bounty that is coming to you. Salmon Chairs can also signify a love relationship in the wings, it’s your choice to receive it. It may also be a present relationship that’s moving to the next level, both spiritually and physically.

What is to be learned in May:

Final Sunset 🌅 :

“A life has come to its spectacular conclusion.”

This is a reminder to cherish all of the beauty in your life, including endings. Spirit embraces you and the loss you are aware of at this time. When we watch a day’s sunset, we can recognize the beauty of an ending. All things have a completion, even life. This is the end of a long journey. It is a time to reflect on your part of history, and discover what you value most. This could be a long emotional road ending, or simply a project at work that took a lot of effort and time. Too often we look to what is “next”, and miss the spectacular beauty of the finale. Do not fear the completion. Stay in the now, cry, laugh, reflect. Be with the fullness of your experience.

Orange may be a lucky color 🧡

[sumire-no-nikki]

A Tug of War

Life lately feels like a bit of a tug of war, a never ending vigilance to fight extremes.

Case in point: some time ago I found this old bookmark tucked in an old manga of mine. I was browsing my shelves and remembered the bookmark is from a trip to Japan in 2017. The nostalgia instantly felt like a thousand anvils tied on my ankles. It was so easy to sink into missing everything from that time six years ago. And yet since then there have been so much goodness in my life. I live well and I am most content. When my first thought was crippling despair about a sense of unexplainable loss, my true feelings about it are that of gratitude and relief and inspiration.

I don't know why I'm predisposed to such mental traps. It seems so restless in my head. I find I have to always steer my mind so constantly. And look, I know my strength. I know I can win over this fickle, whiny, belligerent little child of a mind that I have. But I do wish it wouldn't be such a struggle to maintain an even keel, especially when there's no reason to be so melancholy or anxious. Why did I have to be born difficult? My mother always did say that about me.

At times of frustration I look to my cats. I see them living their life quietly and in the moment. They are cautious but they know precisely what delights them, and they are loyal and constant to that joy. They chase their happiness without fear. There's never shame in the way they express their distaste. They don't worry needlessly about what has happened or what will. They love the sun and know how to get cosy on rainy days. They are always observing and it isn't very hard to amuse them. They take care of themselves. They are capable of deep affection for others because they understand their own independence.

Now, really, September has been a lovely month. I don't know why I've started with quite a negative thought. In general, my days have been productive and filled with adventures. I've got two concerts at the end of the month and there's Oktoberfest too. I'm not big on drinking but I thought I should experience it at least once. Also, it has been a tremendous reading month for me! It's safe to say I've conquered my reading slump, which is a good thing because wow, look at that graph. I was completely out of commission for two months lol.

From my desk I watched the tree in the backyard turn from green to orange, slowly, as each September day passed. It's mostly yellow now and soon it will become bare. I look forward to the thickening autumn. I will be spending some of it in the UK again like I did last year. And I will be visiting some countries I haven't been to after that. And then in December I'll be twenty eight. How strange to find myself feeling relief in getting older. I used to dread this. I can't seem to figure out why I did anymore.

The song for today's entry is from Kate Davis' debut album, which I consider to be one of the best debut albums I've ever listened to. This song was not a single so it's quite a deep cut. I don't even think she plays it live anymore actually. The first chorus goes:

Big transitions require impulse actions Require loss

Which, is true enough. It's the nature of change. The sentiment is a tender one, but what gets me is the lyric additions at the end as the chords open up:

Big transitions require impulse actions Require loss And light And love

I relate so deeply to this song, for many reasons but I enjoy that blip of optimism the most. I'm quite comfortable with loss because I'm used to it and it's easy enough to manage alone. But light and love is always dependent on other people. I generally don't have much faith in others but the song reminds me to try a little harder in that department.

I send you my affection. May you enjoy October with as much gusto as my orange boy enjoys his catnip pepino.

Until next time!

[stabs-cake-with-salieris-dagger]

So, a long post over thinking about Vivre à en Crever (VAEC)

I don’t know how coherent this will be and I am really just some guy typing whatever thoughts come up. This is not an analysis per say, but interpretations that I find meaningful to myself resulting from how I emotionally engage with the text. Some points are probably wild. Mentions of Amadeus but not really spoilers for the play or film.

> The tortured artist, the bleak ending, the myth

This is going to segway a little into some thoughts I have after watching a play version of Amadeus, and some other things regarding history, interpretation, narrative that’s fascinating to me. I have plenty of thoughts on these topics but it's for another day, since it’s more about Amadeus than MOR. Compared to its predecessors Amadeus and Mozart! MOR has a relatively more hopeful and bright ending because of VAEC, despite the inevitable death of Mozart.

Mozart very much had many obstacles in life, and his situation and early death were tragic. Mozart’s life can kind of fit into the stereotype of tortured artist (although it’s still different from the most common known examples of van Gogh and I don’t think he completely fits the image) whose talent isn’t fully recognized while they're alive and struggle financially (mentally at times too) but is revered as a genius now. Few years before his death Mozart was in great financial trouble, and some sources have described him to be depressed, and this is certainly presented in MOR to a degree. But what really struck me after reading Mozart's biography and his letters was how content he was with the success of The Magic Flute right before his death. His situation was improving, yet he was then swept away by a deathly illness. I wouldn’t argue that isn’t sad, but I feel VAEC importantly captures the sense of joy of life that comes with the historical success of The Magic Flute (because in MOR it isn’t presented as something successful), and it’s partly why it makes the song very moving. Mozart has lived the life as best he can and written so much music in his short life, and that is something to be celebrated.

This is kind of a tangent but from a personal perspective, I find that artists having a sad period towards the end of their life sometimes leads to having their whole life be labelled as “sad” and characterized by struggling. Not to dismiss the hardships someone has faced in their life, but I think it’s fair that we equally celebrate their life in a way that honours their strength and creativity despite the difficulties. It’s very easy to fall into the mindset/trope of the tortured artist (I do very much for the record) and think that suffering leads to great art, but in the end of the day it’s unhelpful and even harmful. I think for most if not all artists, being creative is what helps to drive you out of the doom (both in the psychological and monetary etc. sense) not as a result of that doom, and I think creating any sorts of art is an act of fighting.

I think what VAEC does is combine the death of Mozart with the sense of how his music successfully “transcend the heavens” (his line during Lcrimosa) and that his story really doesn’t end at his death. The song is defiant in the very (MOR) Mozart way that he has conquered death through his musical legacy (lyrics very much shows that.) Admittedly I haven’t read enough about Mozart and none of us could ever know what Mozart felt then and what he could have felt about his status as a musician now, but from a narrative and human point of view, I find it nice to not have death be so painful and bleak. (This also makes me think of the decision a media has to make about following history more closely versus prioritizing building a narrative with themes and messages.)

Mozart already knows he’s going to die, but VAEC shows a resolution and determination to fully accept and let go of this life. The death scene gives me chills every time and it is truly just beautiful, and Mozart ascending to heaven also feels influenced by his now greatly esteemed status, that his legacy is viewed as “good and sacred.” In a way I find the ending to be fitting for how we (retrospectively) revere Mozart today. I do have thoughts on the myth of genius and the worship of great artists but that’s for another day. Society really does have a weird way of treating artists of all fields at times and that’s a long conversation. There’s also a lot to say about how classical music is viewed and used today.

I also think it’s essential to mention whenever VAEC is performed outside the show without the context, it’s almost always performed with so much joy from Mikele and Florent, which further speaks to the nature of the song.

To conclude, VAEC depicts Mozart’s death in a way that captures the joy of life and celebrates his creativity instead of depicting him dying in misery, and it feels fitting for how his legacy is viewed right now.

> What lies ahead for Salieri

I think VAEC does as much for Salieri as it does for Mozart. In my opinion, Amadeus Salieri is already sympathetic (and super complex), but I find MOR Salieri to be even less antagonistic, and VAEC plays an important part in it, plus also to make Salieir’s “future” less bleak. (Though I really wish one day we can have non antagonistic Salieri as a main character please. Let this man rest.)

I love the hell out of the last scene in MOR. Salieri actually showing up to offer assistance and appear supportive of Mozart is a great thing I love seeing (even though he doesn’t go all the way to outright apologize etc.) and without this plot MOR would feel so much more different. Mozart indeed seems to have “forgiven” Salieri but this can only happen if Salieri actually tries to do something to take responsibility. Maybe the bar is low and some people might say it’s not enough, but I think it’s great to see the character development. It also gives me a sense of hope that this is a starting point for Salieri to wrangle with his own emotional struggles and despite the death of Mozart, he can keep going. Recognition and willingness to change are very important first steps, and emotionally it feels like a starting point that can lead to a recovery.

This is admittedly very idealistic, because historically the rumours and slanders against Salieri became so widespread later in his life, and reading accounts of it made me quite sad. I think I still do like the choice of the last scene and VAEC because I’ll take anything that is positive for Salieri. At the same time it almost feels like a reflection of how modern audiences gradually stop seeing historical Salieri as villainous/antagonistic even if the fictional portrayals persist. Amadeus and MOR Salieri are all tortured by their own flaws and shortcomings, but MOR Salieri after the breakdown during Victime de ma Victoire has chosen a different path to try to make amendments (to Mozart and himself) and in this way picks himself up from the mud. (This is not to say I don’t like what’s done in Amadeus. It’s great but just so different and heartbreaking.)

VAEC feels like a resolution for both Mozart and Salieri as they say goodbye one last time. It’s definitely an ending to many things, but it’s not a stopping point.

> We’ll meet again (translation from the 2010 proshot by lesmisloony on youtube)

Suddenly having a moment overthinking the lyrics is actually what prompted this post, so here we go. VAEC could be easily read with or without Mozart and Salieri’s story in mind, but my thoughts mostly concern the song as read in context of the show.

“We part ways without knowing/ Where the memories will die/ Our life goes by in the space of a sigh.” I have already talked a lot about memories and legacy previously, and this first verse feels like Mozart wondering if he has done enough and will be remembered. This is also quite a common sentiment about life and death so I don’t think I really need to expand on it.

“Our fears, our tears/ Are worth nothing now/ Yet we’re still clinging to the thread of our desires.” It really feels to me that Salieri is reflecting on himself and his actions. There is some sort of regret, acknowledgement, and acceptance that comes with these lines. I find “worth nothing” to be a little harsh but also it fits Salieir’s personality. At the end of Mozart’s life, it is clearer than ever that the envy Salieri experienced is not invalid but out of proportions in a way that hurts both of them, but he couldn’t also just stop feeling it all of a sudden. I will need to come back to these because there are some other further thoughts I struggle to articulate right now.

“If we have to die/ I want it carved on our tombs/ That our laughter/ Fooled death and time.” The chorus, oh the chorus. The resolution, the reconciliation, and the defiance. There is a sentiment of conquering death with their memories and rendering them immortal. It also always makes me think that they could have been friends if things were different, even though a lot of it is just fiction being added onto history. Historically they’re at points friendly with each other but never seem close. Now I do think we don’t get enough interactions between Mozart and Salieri and then the show suddenly hits us with VAEC on the head, but I love that the show ends with mutual respect and understanding, which renders the association between them amicable. We/our can be read as general pronouns that represent anyone, but let’s face it we’re all going to read it as being these two. It is ironic and sad that Salieri’s name has such a strong (negative) association with Mozart, but without this many of us also might not know him today, so I do like that VAEC at least takes the tension between them away in the very end.

“We’ll see each other again/ In a place where nothing matters anymore/ We’ll understand where we’ve come from.” Now this, this part. Just the promise they’ll see each other again before they say goodbye is already so loaded and kills me every time, and also it makes me think about how maybe they could have been friends again. There’s a bittersweetness to it, but it also implies a certain future that is perhaps better, which leads to my next point.

The idea that prompted me was about the second and third lines, where I see it as how Mozart and Salieri’s memories and legacies have survived and interacted in a bit of a meta way. In different historical periods and contexts, their stories (however historical or fictionalized) are read and relate to differently, for different purposes from different people. The “reincarnations” of them meet, and perhaps some day these reincarnations of them could finally come to a deeper understanding of each other, that the two of them wouldn’t be able to achieve right now. There are many layers to this, because MOR itself is also one of those places where reincarnations of them interact with each other, that is both a manifestation of history and retrospective commentary. VAEC is both happening as a depiction of December 5th, 1791 and an interpretation with narrative, themes, and commentary on the event of Mozart’s death that is timeless. There will certainly be more creative works in the future based on the story of Mozart and Salieri, and every time we’ll get something else, and we love the story and like to take spins on it because it tickles our unruly human brains in some ways. So maybe someday Salieri can be freed of the envy and become friends with Mozart.

Another idea I don’t want to dwell on as much is meeting in heaven in the Christian sense. Mozart’s letters have mentioned meeting with his mother again after her death in a better place, and it is quite a widespread belief so I want to put it in here. The musical doesn’t seem to concern itself with religious elements much, and I honestly just prefer a non religious interpretation myself.

VAEC also has a lot of importance in the process of creating MOR was created early on if I remember correctly. They also made a point to find actors that would fit together well, and oh boy did they succeed tremendously on that. I think Mikele and Florent’s chemistry helps to sell the song even better. (Not very familiar with Laurent but he’s also great!)

> What’s on stage

Now to really put VAEC into story context. I always think it’s interesting they let Constanze ask “who let you in?” because it’s never implied they have servants so Salieri did you just tear down the door to go into Mozart’s house or what, but I digress. Mozart suddenly gains energy upon seeing Salieri. I really don’t need to describe this scene more, but Salieri’s mannerism is what I really like. Salieri talks in a very particular, articulated, and controlled way when he is supposed to be talking to someone in public, but the way he talks and acts here are much softer and probably true to his emotions. He is no longer putting up a facade to try to hide his feelings or try to appear commanding in front of Mozart.

VAEC is the goodbye, the last mark Mozart leaves on the world with Salieri. The implication of Salieri being the only person there to send Mozart off and also being the last link Mozart has to the living world when they let go of each other’s hands is just, perfect. Hits me hard every time the curtain pulls open to reveal the scene behind. I’ve caught early on that all the people who have “wronged” Mozart in some ways stand on screen right and the supportive ones stand on screen left, but what takes me quite a while to see is Constanze and Salieri are standing in mirroring positions on each side of the stage. Intentional? Probably? Constanze reaching out to Mozart is heartbreaking every time and I wish to see a bit more of it in the proshots. I also love the later addition of Leopold and Anna Maria standing in the mist to watch Mozart ascend. The death scene is always mesmerizing, and in combination with VAEC I think it shows that Mozart has thoroughly lived his life to the best he can and can now face death with acceptance and peace, and we know, because MOR itself is one of many proofs, that Mozart’s memories didn’t fade and live on to be known.

> Closing thoughts

Well I think MOR is not meant to be super deep. This is not necessarily a criticism, although I do have some but that’s only because of how much I love it, and every media should be critiqued. It’s fun, looks great, and gives you good feelings, and that is great. It does have depth and a good framework that I emotionally engage with deeply. I love it for the hope that it gives me. VAEC is such a beautiful song, and MOR’s last/scene ending is definitely one of my favourite scenes I’ve ever seen. And yeah I didn’t really talk about how gay it is but we already know that and I want to add more wilder points.

I definitely have more thoughts but this is as much as I can do right now. I’m quite fascinated by historical drama and biopics. It’s a little garbled but if you’re able to read this far, I hope you got something out of it even if you don’t have the same views! Thanks for reading and if you have any thoughts I’d like to hear them. I’m sure there will be mistakes because I’m not super familiar with this part of history nor do I have a full understanding of the Mozart myth. Please watch Amadeus and Mozart! if you haven't. Also please listen to this acoustic version if you haven’t. It feels even gayer with the piano. Cheers.

[bestgirlinc]

Kingdom Hearts Review

After long last I am back with another review! This time with a review of Kingdom Hearts 1! Kingdom hearts is one hell of a large series. the game back in the day was marketed as a Crossover between Final Fantasy and Disney. An odd mix to be sure, but it sure intrigued my Disney loving, Final Fantasy loving ass as a kid. I remember playing this game over and over again as a kid. That is to say that I'll be honest that while I will attempt to be critical of it, I am not perfect and I am sure bias will peek through.

Gameplay: The gameplay of KH1 is definitely not as good as KH2 or 3. That's not that controversial to say of course. The series WILL get better over time as they explore and expand the gameplay. That said the gameplay is definitely good. The game is a simple action adventure rpg. It has elements of a platformer here and then but mostly just action adventure, with a heaping helping of hack and slash. The gameplay is pretty simple and even on the hardest difficulty isn't hard to understand or get over. I'll say the biggest criticism I have is of the game having such drastic effects on the game such as how fast you level or what moves you learn at all being behind quiz answers and such that at the time you'd never know and even now only if you do research is a very bad idea. It makes the game very annoying and punishing for those that want to go in blind. That is a VERY bad idea that I do not like at all. But IF you have help with that, then you are golden. The game is good, not great, gameplay wise.

Sound: The music in most of the levels is simple. Lots of KH music in the Disney levels are kind of mindless. Mostly just ideas taken straight out of the movies the levels are based on. Halloween town has the "This is Halloween" for example as the easiest choice of "yeah that's what I expected" choices. That said in THIS game most of the songs are BASED on the movies and not actually just the straight songs. But the music is still very much BASED on the music there and blends in a lot in my opinion. Tarzan and Peter Pan being the best levels in the game for music in my opinion. I think the music while very much of the movie it is based on is still rather nice. That said the big stand outs are the songs made for the original levels. Hollow Bastion's level having the best in the game to me as the music is intense and grand. It fits the concept of this being Maleficent's castle. This is where the greatest evils in Disney and the KH universe as a whole call home! It also makes you feel like "Yeah, I hit the final stretch of the game. Things are moving to the finish line now!" For that and much more the game's music STILL is something I'd consider good. Just don't expect top tier music from the Disney levels.

Story & Characters: We've reached the category that non KH fans dread: The STORY! So allow me to explain the complicated plot. A kid gets a giant key weapon. The kid fights Disney and FF characters with Donald Duck and Goofy to help his friends and saves the world from a guy who wants to conquer all worlds. Like I could go into unnecessary detail on the plot to make it seem more complicated but it really isn't that complicated. The worst of it is that the keyblade weapon Sora, our protagonist, uses sort of has a mind of its own. But that's sorta common for magic weapons in fantasy media. Really KH1 is very accessible for newcomers (obviously). You wanna play KH1? Don't do chronological order, just start here. The story overall is good, well written and hits the right beats. The Disney levels mostly are original plots that service the overall story too. So yeah, overall good.

Extra Segment, Is it worth it?: Why this segment? Because I played this game on the HARDEST difficulty after being bullied to do so. Now I wish to truly show my thoughts on Proud difficulty. Is it worth playing? No, not really. Like, it's not THAT hard. But not really worth it either. Just play it if normal difficulty is too easy for you. So yeah, no, I don't think it's worth it. I'll probably play on normal mode if I go back to it again. That way I can relax and not die over and over again. Don't get me wrong though I did nearly everything in this game on hardest difficulty. Only didn't do the synthesis and Gummi missions.

Final Thoughts: Kingdom Hearts 1 is a whimsical game that is easy to see how it became such a big thing that Sora being in Smash was the most requested character ever. It's fun and actiony and has a little something for everyone. I don't have much left to add except yeah, if ANY of these things intrigue you, go give it a shot. The game is dirt cheap nowadays.

[quickdeaths]

A careful nod as Izumi processed the situation. Okay, so it was more-or-less what she'd thought - an emergency fill-in for a tour. That was definitely something she could do, and wouldn't cut too much into her other European ambitions. Mr. Andreas's band's album would be coming out eventually, too, and with her name on it, that could help introduce her to fans who didn't keep up with Japanese music. Honestly, maybe it was a good idea to get a manager or some people or whatever Copia had said...

"Okay, yeah, I can definitely do that!" Izumi wasn't necessarily a confident person, but ONI could be, when she needed to be. A clap of her hands and a nod was enough to convince herself that she wouldn't fuck up like crazy. She'd conquered her stage fright, so the only thing at could get in her way was a lack of skill, and she'd bridge whatever gaps she had to to be good enough. If nothing else, Izumi was a terribly hard worker.

Oh, but she needed to make sure she'd get paid. That was important. Michiko had told her as much, to always get the bag... whatever exactly that meant. "Well... I guess I'm my own peoples? I mean, people. I can sign whatever standard contract you need me to, if it's translated into Japanese as well as Swedish or English." At least she ish-understood what to look for in her most native language. "It's fine to pay me whatever you pay everyone else," she added with a small laugh, "I know I'm not a special attraction or anything, so it's okay."

Copia's reaction prompted an eep from the girl, who abruptly sat up straight. "That's pretty normal, though, right? S-sorry, if it's too long, I can probably learn it faster?" As long as it wasn't during a solo or a feature, a small mistake or two didn't matter in a live setting, since most people wouldn't even notice. "I already know some of the solos and stuff, so maybe it would be less time." Antsy about her opportunity possibly slipping away, Izumi popped up out of her seat.

"If you want, I can go get my guitar and show you?" It would be easy. She'd just let him pick out any song he liked, even a song by a different band, and she could pick it up in two or three listens, just to prove she was up for the task, or maybe she could play out one of the Ghost songs she already knew, even if they weren't tour staples. "I can do it, really. Really really." What was the point of having worked so hard to overcome her stage fright if she didn't even get to prove that she could perform? Plus a band she already liked? Izumi would be kicking herself for years if she let the chance slip through her fingers.

She lights up, and there's something so pure in the expression that he doubts this again, doubts that it can work. How could he put someone like her on stage with not only him, but the Ghouls?

Not just because of the, ah, thrusting -- but there was danger inherent in sniffing around the work of the Ministry, around him. Time was running out, as he'd been so recently reminded. Would he simply retire like Primo and Secundo had, or would there be something more forceful to it, something more final? Though he did not like to linger on the thoughts (and often did his best not to), Copia can't help but think he won't be allowed to simply walk away from this. His whole life had been building up towards this pinnacle, this position.

And he's been making a real shit mess of it.

Fuck.

But he doesn't know if he can trust anyone else; the tour starts soon, and he cannot summon another Ghoul, doesn't want to utilize the shifty cat-like Fluvis, who had been involved in the Third's untimely end.

-- Izumi would just be a fill-in. A temporary faceless bandmate, who would benefit from not letting her considerable skills get rusty.

"Oh. Oh, I guess I am forgetting."

The sunglasses on his face, the black paint outlining the eye sockets of his skulls, these things don't hide how his face grows pink from the embarrasment. Such an important thing, something he should have lead with.

Why was he so fucking bad at this kind of thing? The people-ing?

When it seemed so easy and natural for everyone else?

Black gloved hand waves, as if to dissipate his own shame, as if that moment of vulnerability never existed.

"One of my Ghouls is injured, asshole. We're needing another on guitar for the first leg of the tour. You-- you don't have peoples? That is usually how this is handled, you know?"

His head waves side from side, animating the expected exchange, salt and pepper and light brown hair drifting out of place with the movement.

" 'My peoples will talk to your peoples', eh?"

Pause. Silence descends over them like a too thick blanket in the heaviest of summers, and Copia wants to kick it off.

"Four hours? You are thinking it would only take you four hours to learn my music? Are you, ah, fucking with me? It isn't nice to tease an old man."

[randomstuffhewwo]

Tone Indicators, a Masterlist

Tone indicators are shorthand for words used to convey tone, which the Cambridge Dictionary defines as "a quality in the voice that expresses the speaker's feelings or thoughts". Tone can do so much to change the meaning and implications of a sentence. The intended use of tone indicators is in text, and they are prevalent on social media where miscommunication is rife, and posts and messages are often misinterpreted. Tone can be especially difficult to parse for neurodivergent people. This is not to say that neurotypical people never misunderstand tone through text, or even face-to-face, because they do — but that neurodivergent people may experience and interpret tone differently. They are simply paralinguistic signifiers used at the ends of statements to help readers fill in the blanks. They can also be called written shorthand for the poster’s (OP's) intent and emotion.

It's entirely too easy to use them, simply use them after, or even before, the sentence that you wish to clarify. "Can you explain this for me? /gen"

I'm going to make a masterlist of all the tone indicators I've seen so far, adding some that aren't in popular usage, some I personally use with my friends, some that I believe should exist, under the cut. In some cases, I've seen multiple versions of the tone indicator, in which case I've put the more popular one first (at least by what I've seen).

Tone Indicators I've Seen Popularly Used

/j: joking "i'll have to deactivate my account now /j"

/hj: half-joking "we should definitely date /hj"

/s, /sarc, /sarcasm: sarcasm "i absolutely love being sad /s"

/srs: serious "i'm just so very tired /srs"

/nsrs: not serious "my leg's hurting a little bit but i'm okay /nsrs"

/g: genuine statement "i'm thankful that you're talking to me right now /g"

/lh: light-hearted "isn't is spelled 'unnecessary'? /lh"

/nm: not really mad or upset "i think you got that fact wrong /nm"

/pos, /pc: positive connotation "the movie's back on for tomorrow! /pos"

/neg, /nc: negative connotation "i have work tomorrow /neg"

/ly, /l: lyrics "she's a, she's a lady, and i am just a boy /ly"

/p: platonic "i just want to hug you /p"

/gen: genuine question "are you okay with me talking right now? /gen"

/t: teasing "it seems your sense of humour is horrible /t"

Tone Indicators I Haven't Seen Popularly, but I Have Seen, and Also Sometimes Use

/ref: reference "it's like none pizza with left beef /ref"

/nbh: nobody here, for vague mentioning "i'm just so angry at someone /nbh"

/r: romantic "i really want to cuddle with you right now /r"

/sx, /x: sexual intent (Used for sexual innuendos, or similar hinting)

/nsx, /nx: non-sexual intent (Used to clarify the lack of any such sexual intent in a statement)

/m: metaphorical "i was just swept away by a wave /m"

/li: literal "the fish was as big as my torso /li"

/ij: inside joke "it's a whale on dry land /ij"

/rh, /rt: rhetorical "who even cares? /rh"

/hyp: hyperbole (exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally) "i've told her ten thousand times to stop playing that song /hyp"

/c: copypasta (a block of text which is copied and pasted across the Internet by individuals through online forums and social networking websites)

/f: fake "i saw this post yesterday /f", which could be accompanied by an edited or modified post

/th: threat "i will get you to read that book /th"

/cb: clickbait "this website saved my life! /cb"

Tone Indicators I Use With My Friends, or Believe Should Be Mainstream

/a: affectionate "you're a bitch /a"

/q: quote "get up, get up, there are worlds to conquer /q"

/nf: not forced "do you want to go out with me today? /nf"

/pa: passive-aggressive "looks like someone has been talking to someone else behind my back /pa"

/npa: not passive-aggressive "i think someone has stolen my pen /npa"

[knitting-with-norbert]

Getting Through THOSE Nights

(taken from my blog, link in bio!)

I’ve been having a lot of THOSE nights (capital let’s and italics very much needed)

It’s taken me years of getting through nights where I can’t sleep because I feel like I can’t breathe and I can’t be alone with my thoughts because holy shit that just not at all remotely what I need before I’ve gotten to this point where I have at least a small list of resources that consistently help me get through them

And just in case anyone out there reading this is having one of those nights themselves, here is that list. Please add on your own through comments or messaging me to add one – any suggestions are so, so appreciated if you think that they will help others in getting through those times

As far as I’m aware at the time of posting all of these resources are completely free to use and all the links work, if not let me know

Creativity

Free knitting patterns – Easy knitting patterns for beginners. Even if you’re experienced with knitting on those nights sometimes all you want is something easy that you can complete quickly. Lovecrafts also has a lot of more advanced free knitting patterns if you want more of a challenge

Word Sprints – They start every half an hour, just write as much as you can. Be it a short story, poem, novel chapter or anything. Write to get your thoughts out and don’t stop writing. You get a star for every 100 words and it’s very satisfying (Here’s a link to my room – Nifty-Frogs-153 if you want some company there’s a chance me or someone else might be in there, otherwise it’s very easy to join the global sprint or create your own room)

This is Sand – Create some art online using different coloured sand

Weave Silk – Creates beautiful patterns that are really satisfying to watch and look at

Write a Letter – This isn’t an online resource, just something that I do to alleviate a little of my anxiety, which is to write a letter to myself. It works in a similar way to the word sprints, but a bit different in that I am directly trying to talk to myself and make sense of my thoughts

Listening

Spotalike – Put in a song that you like and it’ll create you a playlist based off of that song

Chill music – There’s a load of these on YouTube that you can check out but this is the one that I tend to come back to

Rain for Me – Listening to the rain to relax

The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse Audio – Tim Uffindell reading the audiobook

Websites

Press this button – to make everything okay!

Neal.fun – This website is full of fun little mini-games and sites that serve as good distractions, I’ve linked a couple of my favourites below! Macaroni Draw – Paint with pasta Progress – Watch the progression of time Your Empire – Conquer the world based on the places you’ve visited

Picrew – I like to find fun-looking picrews to make either myself or just to mess around in!

Videos

Hermitcraft Season 7 – The playlist of all of Grian’s Hermitcraft videos from season 7. Even if you don’t typically watch Minecraft videos, Hermitcraft is the most relaxing thing to watch and season 7 Grian especially brought me a lot of comfort

Kitten Livestream – 24 hour livestream to watch kittens playing

Otter Livestream – 24 hour livestream to watch otters playing (there’s a load of other aquarium-based livestreams on here too: sharks, jellyfish, etc. it’s just that I love otters)

Twitch – You’ll always be able to find someone to watch as background noise on Twitch as a distraction, I’ve linked a couple of my favourites below

Organisations

The Butterfly Project – For when you feel the urge to self harm

Samaritans – I believe this is just a UK based project (other than the email service, though please don’t use this for emergencies) Call 116 123

The Trevor Project – A US-based project set up to help struggling LGBTQ+ teens Call 1-866-488-7386

7 Cups – Online support for those that need it

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Freddie 🐸

[love-archon]

A Day With The Genshin Characters: Liyue Edition

Today's going to be a busy day! Check your planner for who you'll be meeting with- as one of the esteemed members of the Liyue Qixing, you cannot afford to be late to any appointment. 

• 6:00, Ningguang: Morning Tea 

Although you say you love your job, waking up at un-archonly hours has to be the part you like the least. Even getting up at five in the morning, the hour when tigers prowl, is still not enough time to prepare for a meeting with the Tianquan. You rush around frantically choosing the best outfit, fragrance, and hair arrangement to present yourself to Lady Ningguang, and you're halfway out the door when it hits you- you forgot to bring a gift with you!

"Right on time," Ningguang says, pleased. You smile, hoping she won't hear your heart beating from anxiety. "And what a lovely present, too... is there any doubt you were appointed as one of the seven Qixing?" (You can't tell if it's her rare praise, or the sheer altitude you're at within the Jade Chamber, that's making your head spin).

• 7:00, Keqing: Business Meeting 

You barely have time to rest before Keqing whisks you away to Yuehai Pavilion. You're very close friends, and you admire the girl for her tenacity and diligence. The conversation flows easily as you walk to your destination under a cloudless sky. It's a wonderfully sunny moment, but the moment the doors lock, you mean business. In the next two hours, you conquer matters that would normally take days to resolve, and the two of you exchange grins. 

"There we go!" Keqing breathes a sigh of relief, pushing away the last stack of papers. She holds up her hand, and you high-five. "You know, I like how easily you keep up with me. You even caught mistakes I would have missed... things like this make me even more certain Liyue is better off in human hands."

• 9:00: Check In With Ganyu

With such a hectic schedule, Ganyu is your saving grace. It's always important to check in with her, just to make sure nothing you have planned catches you by surprise, and sometimes you wonder why others rarely do the same. She's quite lonely, and often mentions how nice it is that you speak with her every day and bring her gifts to help with work. It may be part of your job to be courteous, but... it does help her feel less lonely and conflicted with herself. 

"Qingxin flowers? Thank you so much." She accepts them gratefully, smiling at you with warm eyes. "I still have that new stationery you gave me, too. You're so kind for remembering the things I like!"

• 9:30: Talk to Beidou

The tea in the Jade Chamber was just a front for Ningguang to spring a request on you- meet with the captain of the Crux Fleet to discuss her... recent smuggling habits. But Beidou merely laughs heartily when you arrive. A crewmate tosses her a sack of Mora, and she slits it open, letting the payment shower over you in a spray of gold. And then, before you know what's happening, you're roped into helping them find a treasure rumored to be lost beneath the waves. 

"So, Ningguang though sending her star diplomat would get me to let up, huh!" You blush, wondering how you could be so easy to read under her ruby eye. "I was impressed by your words, and how well you fought by my side. But the annoyance of the Liyue Qixing is of no concern to me."

• 12:00, Tartaglia: TEACH HIM A LESSON!

As the member of the Qixing that oversees diplomacy and foreign relations, it's you that must meet with the Fatui Harbinger. He's quite good at playing pretend- all your underlings believed he was a naive, careless young man, and easily manipulated, too. And all of them ended up suppressing the urge to break something after they were done conversing with him. On your honor as one of Liyue's seven stars, you vow to not make their mistakes. 

"You're asking why I don't try to drive you mad?" he said, setting down his fork. You'd caved in and given him one after watching him struggle with chopsticks for far too long. "You're the only one who isn't a bore to talk to, that's all-" so this was on purpose?!- "and besides, I want to challenge you to a fight afterwards! Your vision's getting quite dusty from neglect, comrade. Let's fix that!"

• 2:00, Yanfei: Discussion of Legal Matters

Yanfei's counsel is an invaluable treasure. Especially when dealing with an opponent as vicious as Snezhnaya's Fatui, who deserve to have her wrath unleashed upon them. You walk to her office with a gleam in your eyes, and are delighted to see an equal fire already blazing in hers. For the next few hours, you two take the "suggestions" Tartaglia passed on from the Northland Bank and scheme on how to best tear them to shreds with the law.

"That man-childe's been giving you trouble again, huh," she giggles. "What did he come up with this time~? I've been waiting for an excuse to bring out the latest edition of my lawbook!" And with that, Yanfei slams it down, and the sheer weight of it nearly cracks her desk. "He won't know what hit him!"

• 4:00: Free Time

Of course, "free time" simply means that you have no meetings scheduled for this hour, which lets you adequately prepare for the next day's events. Tomorrow is your appointment with the Feiyun Commerce Guild, which you already know will require great patience and strength of mind. Because the head of the guild, and his eldest son, the future head, are- to put it mildly- not very bright... it's fortunate, then, that the second son Xingqiu has a good head on his shoulders.  

"Tomorrow, you should go straight to me instead," Xingqiu informs you cheerily, handing you a popsicle. Apparently, he keeps them around for his friend Chongyun, who's off to complete another exorcism. "I'll be sure to set everything in order." His eyes gleam. "And then, I can tell you the latest developments in 'A Legend of Sword'!"

• 5:00: Catch Xinyan's Concert!

Liyue's one and only rock musician isn't hard to find, thanks to the designated performance spots scattered around the city. You stop by at the raised platform where she's rocking out, where other people are listening as well. Xinyan strikes a peace sign in the air, and her vision glows with energy before the stage erupts with pillars of fire; her audience bursts into cheers and applause, and she's beaming as she leaps down to meet you. 

"Wait, seriously? You really changed up the rules a lil' so it'll be easier for me to hold concerts here?" Her eyes shine as they scan the papers- one of the many results of your work today in Yuehai. "Thank you so much! Wait-" she picks up her guitar again, giving it an experimental riff. "Let me think up a quick song for ya as thanks- I insist!"

• 6:00: Wangsheng Funeral Parlor 

Lately, you've been sent particularly determined requests from the other nations about allowing tourists to observe the ancient funeral rites. You already know the answer's gonna be a hard no, but the laws written by Rex Lapis state that you must check with the director anyway. She's not there when you arrive, so a consultant, Zhongli, brings you tea while you wait for her. You sit together in the fading sun, waiting for Hu Tao's familiar song to rise above the hill. 

Zhongli takes a quiet sip from his cup, closing his luminous eyes. "Although it was Rex Lapis who created the laws, they are not meant to be set in stone. Humans must revise the contract as they see fit, so that it will not erode with the passage of time." Something makes you feel as though it's more significant to him than you know. Then, he smiles slightly. "But, just looking at the people leading the way in his absence, like you... there's no need for me to worry."

• 8:00: Dinner; Request Chef Xiangling

The Wanmin Restaurant, run by Chef Mao and his daughter, is a breath of fresh air. While the rest of Liyue is divided between the "Li" and "Yue" styles of cooking, Xiangling pays the conflict no mind. Instead, she's not afraid to be daring and experiment, blazing ahead without worrying about what others think. You can see some similarities between her and Keqing, but it's best not to mention it after that disastrous banquet they organized together... 

"Had a rough day, didn't you?" Xiangling asks, her golden eyes twinkling as she hands you the steaming hot bowl. "Well, for you, I made sure to prepare your favorite dish! I hope you don't mind if I added a lizard or two this time- I'm kidding!" she adds quickly, upon seeing alarm flash across your face. 

• 9:00: Return Home

After everything that happened, you're eager to collect the reports from your subordinates and head home to draft new revisions for Tianquan Ningguang to look over (and then, hopefully, get some rest). But as you're walking on the path to your neighborhood, you spot a little girl sitting in the grass, clutching her head. Alarm rises in your chest as you rush over to see what's wrong, and why she's alone- only to realize with a start that she's the child that returned from the dead.  

"Thank you for taking Qiqi back to Bubu Pharmacy," she says, reading solemnly from her notebook (where the entire thank-you script is written). Even when you set her down, she's still reading the pieces of paper. "Will you tell Dr. Baizhu where I got lost? Please and thank you, again."

• 10:00: Sleep

In the end, you never did get to those revisions. You can hear your fellow Qixing scolding you in your head, but at least you got plenty of other things done; the well-oiled machine that is Liyue will still keep running on thanks to the tasks you accomplished today. Someday, even the adepti will have to acknowledge the ability of humans... you turn in your bed to feel the coolness of the other side. Speaking of adepti... the night air coming in... reminds you of... "Xiao..."

"I thought you were in danger," the adeptus huffs. The moment you said his name, you'd finally fallen asleep, but it still brought Xiao to you- balanced on the windowsill, hair waving in the breeze. "Still... I'm... glad that you're alright," he admits, glancing at you to make sure you're not awake to hear. "Rest well, bright star of Liyue." And then, with a sound like a sigh- or was it the wind?- he's gone.

[professorrw]

Hi! Okay so first of all I love your fics sm 🤧 and second, could i request a smut fic where reader is giving thor a massage or he's giving her one, and then things heat up ☻ and if you could add a bit of daddy kink in there, that would be awesome 🙈

Thank you so much 😭❤ I hope you like this 👀

marvel masterlist

Pairing: female reader x Thor

Warnings: smut, 18+, fluff, dad!Thor, daddy kink, pet names (baby girl, honey), rough sex, Thor with a man bun 😫

A/N: I've tried asking about this before with just a text post but no one ever answers 😅. When I reach 500 followers would you guys like to do a celebration where I let you send in prompts from prompt lists (I may even add a few of my own of songs, prompts, date ideas, and careers) and then let you send characters for Marvel and Stranger Things that I write for and do some drabbles, blurbs, headcanons, and oneshots? Let me know in the comments, with an ask, or in my messages! Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Parenting is no easy feat. It doesn’t matter if you’re a prince, or a king, or if you’ve conquered whole armies. Having a child and raising it is a job all on its own. But it’s something Thor loves. Being a father is something he didn’t know he wanted, but becoming one and taking care of something so pure, so precious, it just captivated him. You had a beautiful daughter together, Eydis. She was three, and full of energy.

Thor walked into your room, shifting his weight from foot to foot heavily, and fell back onto the monstrous bed. His head was right next to your crossed legs and you stroked the top of his hair until you were met by his man bun. The hairstyle was originally given to him by you. One day he was complaining about his hair getting in his face all the time so you did it up for him, and he had been attached ever since.

He heaved out a loud sigh before he turned over and snuggled his face against your leg.

“What is it?” you asked.

“I’m very worn out. Eydy insisted that I carry her everywhere she wanted to go.”

“... And you did?”

Thor was a sucker for his daughter. She was his little princess. Quite literally his little princess. Whatever she wanted she got. You were aware she was going to be spoiled, and you told Thor, but he said that he’ll tone it down when she’s older. You didn’t see that happening though.

“Of course. I carried her on my back and shoulders for almost four hours before she wanted to come back inside.”

A breath left your nose as you smiled and shook your head. “Do you need a massage?”

He flipped over, beaming at you. You took that as a yes and ushered him off your lap. The bed shifted and dipped from his weight being in front of you. You ran your hands down his athletic shirt, which was his go to when he wasn’t having an audience. Your thumbs kneaded at his shoulder and back muscles, giving them the much needed stress relief they needed. He closed his eyes, fully taken by the release of tension.

“Being- ah- a father is hard,” Thor said.

“You’re a great daddy though.”

“Honey…” he trailed off in a warning tone. You giggled, remembering that he asked you not to call him daddy during the day time. When you called him daddy, which you had first called him while you were pregnant, turned him on. He didn’t know why, it just did. And at night when he was tearing into you and that word came out of your mouth it would set him ablaze.

That day though, as your hands were already on him and he was already in bed with you, you just couldn’t resist. You leaned in closer, whispering into his ear, “Daddy…”

“Y/N,” he warned again. One more time and that would be it. You could turn back… but did you want to?

No.

“Daddy,” you whispered one more time. His jaw clenched and he turned around in the blink of an eye. You were completely pinned to the bed. His hands were holding your wrists at the side of your head and his cock was pressing against your thigh.

“You asked for this,” he spoke with lust blown eyes. Wetness grew and pooled in your underwear, all thanks to your husband. The pressure holding down your wrists disappeared, instead moving to your midsection. He untied your robe and flung it open, showcasing your matching bra and panties.

You bucked your hips up, making sure that your vagina was pressing against his crotch. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut for a second before they opened again with an intensity unparalleled by anything else.

He sat back on his knees, straddling your lap while you laid there. He didn’t speak, just reached behind you and unclasped your bra and then pulled down your panties. He saw the wetness and held them up, chuckling.

“Darling, you’re already soaking wet. All for your daddy,” he taunted. He threw his shirt off, because he would never miss a chance to show off his impeccable abs, and took his shorts and boxers off too, unsheathing his thick member. It stood tall against his abdomen, something he was extremely proud of.

Unable to wait a minute longer he plunged into you. A strangled moan burst out of your mouth but the pain eased and became pleasant after a few moments of stillness. He started to move, going fast right off the bat. Even though he was thrusting in and out of you at the speed of light he would be able to last a good amount of time. He usually spared you that amount of aching, but he had gone multiple rounds with you before. It was a loud night, filled with many orgasms, positions, and locations.

Thor was above you, fully above you, and ramming into your pussy with inhumane speed and vigor. He was only a little winded and out of breath. Only a teensy weensy bit. Not everything was so perfect though. His hair was falling out of his bun, framing his face in a blonde, messy curtain.

You weren’t going to last long. It was a given fact. The butterflies and thumping of your pussy were already there before he even started. You really weren’t going to last long when he hit your g-spot.

“Ahh Thor!” you moaned.

“Uh uh,” he scolded, “you have to call me daddy since you love to say it so much.”

“Daddy!” you moaned as he hit your g-spot again.

“That’s it baby girl.”

He kept on going, never stalling his ruthless pace. Your orgasm was on the tip of your tongue and you were moments away from reaching it. Thor could tell you were about to cum. You had sex countless times and the tell-tale signs were there. Your moans were louder, your hands were clenched, and your back was arched.

The white liquid squirted out, and was followed not long after by Thor’s deep groan and his own cum spilling inside you. He pulled out and used his abandoned shirt to wipe up the mess. You laid next to Thor with your hand on your forehead. He was lying on his side, smiling at you, just slightly out of breath. He was about to kiss your cheek when there was a knock on the door.

“Dad! Come play with me!” Eydis shouted.

Thor sighed but got up with a smile still on his face. “I’m coming!”